#tee thanks for letting me speak so freely i really do love Love and conversations like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kingdumkum · 1 year

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I totally agree with your concept of love!! Too many people rely on the feeling of love instead of choosing to love someone, and they don't realize love takes work. You know?

tee my darlin, we're on the exact same page. I've been ruminating on this for a bit, trying to figure out the best way to say this without being Annoying, but it always comes back to this: love, the kind that lasts a lifetime, is a choice.

i know i got into it a bit here, but like. if you don't expect any other emotion to last forever, why is there a belief that love will? media is beautiful in the sense that we get to have some of the most amazing adventures, but it's also so damaging in how it twists the perception of what a healthy relationship looks like, or what real standards of love are. I could whip out a dozen examples, but they all boil down to how setting an unrealistic expectation for a very impressionable audience negatively influences their idea of what love, romantic or otherwise, is--particularly the young adults that haven't experienced love yet or don't have a healthy example to look up to. love, whether you're on the receiving or giving side, is not an excuse for bad behavior, and nor is it as eternal as media claims.

in my experience, as someone happily engaged and who's been spending a lot of time talking to Older Folks about what's made their marriages last (or end), the longest love is two-sided and it takes work. anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or has found someone willing to sacrifice everything in order to keep their partner happy.

love is not sacrifice, but it requires compromise; love is not pain, but it requires the memory of happiness in order to continue. love is born from an emotion, but it continues with the conscious decision to make it so. if you're not happy, sad, angry, anxious, etc. 100% of the time, how can you expect love, as an emotion, to exist 100% of the time?

don't get me wrong, love is certainly something you feel, and if you don't feel it, you can not force it--but if you're looking for the kind of love that lasts a lifetime, you've got to be willing to make it a choice, too.

(interestingly, and for another tangent, is how so many continuations/time skips focus on how the original love interests separated after Some Time and are either (1) finding a new love story or (2) rekindling their love... almost like Hollywood is admitting they care more about telling how two people FALL in love and less about what someone has to do in order to make it last a lifetime... but I digress).

#any who that's a bit longer than i intended but #i wrote a thesis on this and it was one of my best-received topics ever #love is a choice. you must make the ACTIVE decision to love someone for it to last a lifetime #i hope this makes sense to at least one person and i hope it helps you make sense of your own version of love #media is so awesome in so many ways #but it's also so so damaging in so many others.#there's an unrealistic expectation for how people 'in love' should act or feel #and i'm here to say that's simply not true.#i'm happily engaged i've been with my partner my whole adult life.#they're the first Real Relationship i've ever had but when i say it took WORK to get this far...#we both had to make the conscious choice that YOU are it and every day we live up to that expectation.#there are days where they drive me NUTS and i'd rather be alone than talk to them but i know there are days where they feel the same #but no matter how many times we don't actively FEEL like we have love for each other we CHOOSE to love each other #because we both know that we have so much love to give and get and hold even when we're mad even when we don't feel very loving #any who that's my daily soapbox on love i have Really Strong Thoughts on this will gladly discuss further as needed #tee thanks for letting me speak so freely i really do love Love and conversations like this #kasey's soap box #one eyed king

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adoregoldenharry · 4 years

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Wrong People Sometimes

A/N: Kinda of stuck in a lot of places right now. Trying to get a few negative thoughts out of my head onto here. Please let me know what you think. lots of love. [not my gif]

Have you ever been in love?

Have you ever felt like meeting the one person that you know in your heart is the last person you will every romantically lay your eyes on?

That was how I felt.

The two of us were singers in a world of media and heartbreak. In a overcrowded city with too many cars, and too much pollution. The city of cameras and red carpets. The city of rumors and regulations, according to where exactly you lived.

In this city I met Harry. He was one of the purest people I had ever met. I mean that mentally of course. I had heard things about him and how experienced he was and that he was no stranger to females in the industry. I didn’t like to look at him from that angle. The same one in which everyone looked at him. He was more than that and I knew it from the moment we both saw each other.

I had met him at a small cafe in Los Angeles where I lived. I was aware he lived there too but I just had never seen him previously.

I remember walking in prepared to order some drink my friend from yoga had been boasting about since our first class. I ordered rather quickly that day hoping not to be seen by anyone because I was tired of trying not to break my body in my morning yoga class. I turned to move out of the way and bumped into someone swishing their coffee from their hands onto the floor.

“I am so sorry, oh my gosh,” I blabbered while reaching for some napkins nearby as I had gotten some of his now spilled drink on his shirt. I felt so bad for ruining this mans nice and very stylish tee shirt. “Don't worry about it love its fine,” a deep voice rumbled through the man. Whether he was singing or having a normal conversation most people would be able to tell who he was. I sure was able to.

“Harry? Harry Styles?” I spoke lowly, not trying to blow anyones cover.

He looked around and then back to me nodding. “Yeah, wait a second. You’re Y/N, I love your new album it’s fucking amazing. Shit sorry,” Harry apologized. I giggled and stuck my hand out to him.

“Thanks, I love yours as well.” He grinned and showed off his immaculately shaped dimples.

We had a short conversation outside after I insisted on buying him a new drink to which he continued to refuse. I bought it for him anyway. We talked a little bit about our busy schedules and upcoming plans for our careers. Something us celebrities usually did upon seeing each other in public, weirdly enough.

After about fifteen minutes we had given out numbers and promised to keep in touch. We absolutely did that.

For months to come we had hung out multiple times every month. From dinners to movie nights in on the couch. Harry was my breath of fresh air. He was the person I chose to spend all of my extra time with and he did the same with me. Or so I had hoped anyway. He was always the first to call and ask if we could see each other. It made me feel like he cared and he wanted me like I had eventually wanted him.

Speculation occurred in the media after so many photos of the two of us spending all this time together circulated. His fans jumped right on it trying to dig up anything they could. Both of us stayed rather quiet about our friendship. We thought it was a little humorous to see what everyone would come up with.

“Wont you just come with me please Y/N. It will be so much fun,” Harry whined. I rested my hands on my hims with a smug smile on my face. It had been about a year and half since the beginning of our close knit friendship.

“Harry I can't, I have to finish up the last couple of tracks at the studio.” I watched his face twist into a pout, making me giggle. He was like a little puppy that wouldn't take no for an answer. He would always do this. Make me drop everything for him, yet I always let it slide.

“Please baby,” Harry whimpered. I tensed up at his words. He had never used that pet name before. Mostly because we have a platonic relationship and because he just hadn't. “Harry I-”

I looked at him before I could finish my sentence I saw that adorable, pleading look on his face. I sighed and nodded. To which Harry jumped up from the couch dancing around my living room carpet. “You are such a doofus.” I agreed to go with him on a two week long trip to Italy for a much needed getaway. Harry said I needed to go because he needed to show me something special he had come across last time he had been.

That two week vacation was everything with him. There was one night in particular that I would never forget but I wish I could. He had taken me around the beautifully lit streets of Venice during the night. We had a candlelit dinner in one of the fanciest restaurants between brick walls.

Harry was acting weird that night. He was fidgeting and his hands would shake here and there. I asked him if he was okay and he told me ‘he would be’.

After the dinner he led me to a small bridge. I leant against the railing looking down on the water where gondolas floated by with people sharing romantic moments. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. I smiled and brought my hand up to his hair playing with his curls. “Come on.”

We walked down to the small dock. I gasped when I realized what we were doing. “Ready?” I nodded stepping in after him into the small boat. A man soothingly singing Italian tunes behind us while steering us down the canal. I giggled and clapped my hands together like a little girl. Harry chuckled at how excited I was. He placed his hand at my side and pulled me close into his side. I looked at him with big eyes. A smirk adorning his beautiful face.

His hand came up to my chin and pulled my face close to his. In a split second our lips met. The second they touched everything changed. I knew that and god did I love it, but I also feared it.

I deepened the kiss and let him hold me.

That night we had become different people. Now that I think of it, it was just me who had changed. We had officially become one that night. It all felt like a fever dream. My life felt perfectly made. I had the career, the money, and the man that I wished for all of my life. I felt like I filled what was missing.

Every night after was like the last. We had come out as a couple not too long after Italy. Everyone seemed to have an idea that this would be coming with how much we had been hanging out before then. The internet ate us up with every moment from when we stepped out of our houses together. Pictures of us slapped onto the internet from all over I smiled every time I saw a cute picture of us smiling and holding hands.

I thought I was in love.

“That’s not where you said you were going,” I huffed. Harry sighed and raked his hands through his hair. “Not this again Y/N.”

“Why not, you drill me about other men. Why can I not do the same?” I took a sip of my water in a glass. Harry was becoming visibly more frustrated with my interrogation. He was pictured roaming around LA with one of his exes. I would not have a problem with it as long as he had told me about it. Yet he decided to ignore the thought I guess.

“Jus’ please get over it okay. It’s done, what do ya want me to do? Text you about it now? I presume not,” Harry stomped to the kitchen. Heading toward the fridge to put his now leftovers away from his secret lunch. “I just don't understand what was so hard about sending me a quick text. I had food made for us here as well. Would’ve saved the serving for another time.”

“Fuck Y/N sorry okay!” Harry shouted making me jump and drop my glass. It shatters all over the floor. I mutter and ‘shit’ and bend down to pick up the shards with a towel laying on the counter. Harry bent down helping me clean up the mess. “I think I'll just head back home now,” I grabbed keys from the dinning table heading towards the door.

“No Y/N wait.” I ignored him gently shutting the door behind me.

Things only got worse from that day. We didn't speak for about two weeks. I was hurt that he didn’t try and contact me all that time. I didn't try to call him either but I assured myself it was because I was busy with my next album. I was missing one more song. I was having the worst writers block.

It was a Friday night and I had been surfing through entertainment channels. I stopped upon one of the more popular ones. They were talking about the latest behind the scene montages for new movies. I hadn’t been paying much attention until they started a new story.

“Has the world’s most loved former boy band singer found another romance? What happened with him and Y/N L/N?”

My heart stopped. They showed pictures of Harry walking down a cobblestone path with a blond in an all too familiar place. One that I had been to months ago, with him. It was her. The one who he had seen at lunch two weeks ago. I almost kept myself together until the next picture dissolved onto the screen.

It was Harry and the girl on a small boat floating down the same canal that we shared our first kiss on. Silent tears fell down my cheeks. I wiped them quickly and sniffled. I stood up with my blanket wrapped around my shoulder. I grabbed my small black notebook and headed up my stairs to my bedroom to let the lyrics flow freely.

I remember getting texts from Harry endlessly that same night. He had seen the news and he wouldn't stop calling. He send message after message saying that he was sorry. That he didn't know what he was thinking by taking her there. Harry said that he regretted every decision he had made that ever ruined us.

I never replied to him.

I turned off my phone and set it on my nightstand.

He may have ruined us, but I wrote a song that would ruin him.

I guess I was never really in love.

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eeveecrmchl · 4 years

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DISCORD THREAD | EEVEE X VULCAN:

feat: @eeveecrmchl & @ellisvulcan

mentions: landon’s apartment

summary: vulcan finds eevee at club echo and tries to take her home. she finally tries to get closure but is met with the truth as to why v left her in the first place. eevee is not convinced.

tw: alcohol, drugs mentioned, my girl being dum as hell

Eevee: Eevee isn’t drunk yet but that doesn’t stop her from straddling the man that’s been paying for her drinks the whole night and letting his lips make marks up and down the column of her neck. If she closes her eyes, she’s able to imagine a different set of arms, a familiar grasp on her waist, and the taste of someone she’d rather be with. Of course she can’t; V’s probably out with whoever takes his offer for the night. Losing herself in the sensation of someone actually wanting her, Eevee lets out a breathy sigh. It feels wrong — like her body is already ruined for everyone else but she forces herself to enjoy it. Bottle still in hand, she takes a gulp straight from it, the burn numbing everything. It’s practically routine at this point: go out, get drunk, and if she’s bored, get someone to finish her off. Most of the time, she finds herself in a backseat of a Lexus or the alley of some random bar, but it looks like she’s going for making out in public for tonight. The man says something but she ignores it, cups his face to kiss the words off of his mouth. He shouldn’t talk; it takes away the fantasy. If Eevee’s thinking about a particular person at this point, no one else needs to know.

Vulcan: The conversation he had with Evelyn has still been in the back of his mind. Truly he wished it was her that took his invitation that night. That text and the little moment he had with her at Landon’s place, Vulcan truly wished he was sober during those times, but alcohol seemed to be one of those things that makes him sleep lately. They haven’t talked in a while, until he was added to that group chat. Right after he did the job that was given to him by his boss, he’s found himself back at Club Echo again, as usual, to drink the night away. He was about to walk up to the bar when the very woman in his mind catches his eye, she was all over this stranger and he couldn’t help but acknowledge how it stings, seeing her like that. He comes up to the booth and stood there for a moment, then he clears his throat to catch her attention. “Eevee.”

Eevee: Eevee flinches when she hears her name, pulling back from whomever had her attention to look up at her ex boyfriend. In her inebriated state, she could only throw him a lopsided smile, keeping her arms around the stranger to steady herself. “Vulcan,” the name tastes sweet coming from her lips, a sudden wave of nostalgia hitting her at the memories of the many ways it left her before: “Vulcan, I want you to meet my parents.”, “Vulcan, I’d do anything for you.”, “Vulcan, I love you.” Now she’s only left with remnants of how she felt, the intensity of which she hasn’t been able to find in anyone else; Eevee doubts she ever will. Noting her current state, and remembering that he, himself was in a similar situation the night before, she tilts her head in curiosity, ignoring the way the man under her seems to feel the tension. “What are you doing here?” New York is a big enough city and she’d foolishly thought that just by avoiding him, she’d be able to move on quicker. “Where’s uh — what’s her name? The one you fucked last night?”

Vulcan: He could see in Eevee’s eyes and her smile how intoxicated she already was. The way she just said his name, it causes some pain is his chest, he wanted to be that one in that stranger’s position, part of him still wants to be with her. Yet whenever the thought crosses his mind, to pursue her once more, he would also be reminded of the warning of her parents, to stay out of her life, that she shouldn’t be with someone like him, that she…..she deserves better than him, better than the state she’s in right now. “Eevee, you’re wasted. You need to go home.” He gives the stranger a look, burning a hole through his head that makes him let the girl go. “Let me take you home. You’ve had more than you should have.”

Eevee: Eevee pouts when the stranger actually pushes her off of him, but it’s no surprise; he looked like the type that would rather avoid confrontation than to find himself in the wrong end of one. Placing the bottle on the nearest table, she huffs up at Vulcan, about to tell him off for scaring away the person that was supposed to make her feel good for the night, but is stopped short when his appearance finally registers. Hands reach out in shock as her eyes roam over the expanse of his entirety, trying to see just where all the cuts and bruises seem to form. “V, what happened,” her voice comes out in a whisper. “Fuck, who did this to you? Do you know who they are? We should go tell the police right now. I know dad has some connections down at the station.”

Vulcan: The mechanic closes his eyes when the younger girl walks up to him, bracing himself for the argument they were about to have. Instead, Vulcan felt Eevee’s hand on his check, worry noticeable in her voice as she asked him a bunch of questions. He almost forgot that he was in a match tonight. His opponent packed a lot of punches, and he wasn’t surprised that they left marks and bruises on his face and the rest of his upper body. He’s been doing this for years, and he’s always attempted to hide it for Eevee not to notice, well not until now. “It’s from work—And no, you’re not going to tell your dad. I’m going to get in trouble if you do.”

Eevee: There are questions that whir through her alcohol addled brain — especially about that comment concerning her father —, but Eevee bites her tongue. She no longer has the right to ask or to even have the privilege of knowing in the first place. Still, in her drunken haze she can’t help but wrap her arms around the man’s neck, burrowing her face in his chest. She’s always been an affectionate drunk and while the more rational part of her mind screams that she should stop, she lets herself indulge in the feeling. “Please try to be safer,” she mumbles against his shirt, refusing to look up at him lest she does something more foolish. “I don’t like you getting hurt.”

Vulcan: Vulcan instinctively wraps his arms around her waist, holding her close as she nuzzles her face against his chest. “I’m always safe.” He takes a deep breath, gently combing his fingers through her hair. “I need you to stay safe, Eevee.” He whispers to the other, making sure that she’s the only one who could hear. “Let me just—let me take you home, at least.” He draws himself away from her slightly to look into those eyes.

Eevee: “I’m safe,” is her automatic reply but Eevee doesn’t mention nights when she roams the city, unaware of her surroundings with drugs in her system and alcohol in her breath. Gaze locked onto his, she leans in instinctively before catching herself. “Okay,” her voice comes out resigned, knowing that she’ll probably be too embarrassed to go over this in the morning, Hopefully in her hungover state, it’d be easy to forget how she practically threw herself at the man who broke her heart. “You remember where my apartment is?”

Vulcan: “That’s all I need, Eevee.” Vulcan gives her that look before she eventually pulls away. Which something that he silently thanked it happened. They cannot do this, especially not in front of so many people. Her dad cannot know that he violated their deal, that he’s violated their deal that one morning at Landon’s apartment. He never wanted to end things between them, but he couldn’t risk losing the things his family’s left for him. “Always.” He takes her hand to hold as he leads the both of them out of the club. “Do you want something to eat? Gatorade?” She probably needed something for the hangover in the morning, too. Vulcan just couldn’t help but still care.

Eevee: There’s a moment when Eevee feels her heart flutter at his look, but she ignores it for the sake of interlocking their fingers together when he grabs her hand. Out of the club, she’s able to breathe freely, the night air cooling her down and sobering her a little, but not enough that rational thinking has come into play which is how she finds herself tugging him towards the back alley. One night. She can give herself one night and it’ll be just like the rest of her flings; Eevee doesn’t need to care. Backing herself up against the side of the club they’re at, she lets go of his hand to let hers trail up his chest. “Don’t need Gatorade,” she exhales, feeling herself grow bolder and tugging him in close. “Just need you.”

Vulcan: Vulcan was about to speak again when Eevee dragged him by his hand and brought him to the back alley by the club. “Eevee—I can’t.” He feels series of shudders crawl down his spine as he felt her hand on his body again. He never heard those words from her in forever, if was in the same level of inebriated as her, he knew he wouldn’t be able to say no. But not this time. The mechanic takes a deep breath. “Food, Gatorade, and drive you home. That’s what you need, baby. Let me take care of you.” He cups her cheek with his hand, leaning close to plant a kiss on her forehead. “We can do anything that you want, just—just let me take care of you.” He repeats, tucking her loose hair behind her ear. “Trust me, I feel the same. I really do….”

Eevee: The rejection shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, but Eevee can’t help but let it settle on her insecurities. “You didn’t say that back at Landon’s apartment,” she’s feeling bitter now and all she wants to do is crawl under her covers to rid herself of this embarrassment. “I can take care of myself,” she throws back. There’s an urge to just walk away, call up Tee, and just forget this whole night ever happened, but it’s the way that he calls her baby that stops her. There’s a hand on her cheek then, eyes fluttering close at the feel of his lips against her forehead. “I’m fine. I’ve done this before.” It’s a miracle that nothing too bad has happened to her considering how much her self destructive tendencies have put her through, so her words do have some truth behind it. “Don’t,” and with this, she uses the hands on Vulcan’s chest to gently push him away. “You don’t have to lie. I can get home by myself. Thanks.”

Vulcan: His eyes widened at her words, what does she mean that she’s done this before? No, he cannot let her leave, he cannot let her slip away like this, not this time, maybe just for tonight. Worry washed all over him, now knowing that this isn’t the first time, and the fact that she’s done this a lot…. “Eevee.” He whispers, pleading evident in his voice as he desperately stared into those eyes once more. “I didn’t—I’m not lying. Please don’t push me away, even just for tonight.” He sighed deeply, resting his forehead against hers. Perhaps her father wouldn’t know, even just this once.

Eevee: Vulcan’s so close and it’s like every dream she’s tried to ignore, every errant thought pushed aside to prove to herself that she’s moving on. The fact that she stays firmly in place, looking up at him with no plans on moving away, just shows how far she is from that. “What do you want from me, Vulcan,” her words come out as a whisper, breaking at the sound of his name. “I don’t know what you want from me.” Close enough to let her lips pass his, Eevee summons whatever self restraint she has left to pull back. “You can take me home but after that — I don’t know. You can crash on my couch if you want.”

Vulcan: Vulcan badly wanted to say that he wanted her, that he never stopped wanting her. Yet all he could do is stare into the eyes of the girl he never stopped on loving. He never thought that losing Eevee would kill him slowly, up to this day, it still does. He finds himself still longing for her sometimes, missing the feeling of having the girl in his arms. "All I want..." He takes a deep, shaky breath. "All I want is for you to have good things, what you truly deserve." He stares down to his feet as the other pulls herself away. "Okay. Let's go." He takes her hand once more and leads them to his car. He makes sure that the girl was settled in the passenger seat before getting in. "Just tell me if you need anything."

Eevee: Eevee can’t help the scoff that leaves her at his answer; the frustration at just how ironic it is that he’d want that for her when he can provide the same is what keeps her quiet. She lets him lead her to his car, the words she want to say trapped behind pride and shock from the audacity Vulcan seems to carry. The need to let him know what’s exactly on her mind wins out and while she knows she’ll probably regret it, she turns to him. “You want what’s best for me?” Her words are colored with the hurt he’s caused but she continues on. “You were what was best for me. You were the good thing I wanted to keep in my life.” Eevee ignores the telltale signs of tears, blinking any moisture away. She would be damned to let him see her cry. “You don’t get to leave me and then act like it was such a fucking sacrifice. It was so easy for you to let go like we meant nothing, like I meant nothing to you, so you don’t get to tell me some bullshit excuse on ‘wanting what’s good for me.’”

Vulcan: He could sense that Eevee was quite deep in her thoughts while he leads them to his car, and before he could even bring his engine to life, she spoke. He hated how much he's hurt her and be a huge part of the reason why she was like this. "Trust me, Eevee. I didn't--I never wanted to leave you. I didn't want to end things. You were the only one I ever wanted--scratch that--needed like this. But I didn't have a choice at the time." He takes a deep breath, resting his forehead on the steering wheel, before staring at the other. "You mean everything to me, more than the world, Eevee. It hurts not having you in my life ever since I left, though it was either you or the only reminders of my parents gets taken away from me. And what he said to me was true, we are both on different ends of tbe spectrum. What can I possibly offer you when I'm just a fucking mechanic who also fights every other night to earn money enough just for myself?"

Eevee: A roll of her eyes is thrown the man’s way with Eevee’s head shaking even before he could finish his sentence. “You say you didn’t want to end things and yet you still did. You say you didn’t have a choice but you could have chosen me. You could have chosen us but you didn’t.” It’s the heartbreak that she carries that has her finally voicing out what she couldn’t before — most of which only Tee has heard in her drunken rambles. Eevee’s kept herself in denial but there’s no way to turn this around with him now. Vulcan broke her heart and she intends to let him know. “Who the fuck was going to take away your parents’ things,” she snaps, confusion clearly etched on her features. “Who the fuck is telling you all these things? And why the fuck didn't you tell me?” Her eyes widen at his words when they process and if she didn’t hate her upbringing then, she sure does now. “I don’t care about that,” her words hold firm. “You know I’ve never cared about that. I just wanted you. I fucking loved you, Vulcan. That’s all that mattered to me. We could have been living in a small ass studio apartment, depending on paycheck to paycheck and I wouldn't have cared.”

Vulcan: "Your parents! Your parents wanted me out of your life!" He's broken another part of their deal. Everything that her parents talked to him about, one by one he was just breaking them, yet ge couldn't keep this to himsel anymore, not when Eevee was demanding answers from him. "Your father came to my place one night just after you left and talked me into breaking things off with you. Or else, he'll take everything I own away from me, everything that my parents passed on to me, the house, the car my stepdad and I worked on for years, the clothes on my back, everything, Eevee. And if I tell you, things could possibly get worse--well fuck, now you know." He runs his fingers frustatingly through his hair. "You're the one I wanted, for the rest of my life. But I can't let you let go of the life you're living because of me. I can't let you turn your back on your parents because of me. That's why I didn't tell you, that's why I broke it off and quickly left before I can't resist and just--I can't....Eevee...."

Eevee: Taken aback, Eevee settles on her seat, head spinning at his explanation. “That doesn’t make sense,” Eevee refuses to believe it; as much as she dislikes the way her parents seemingly control the way she presents herself, they’re still the most important people in the world to her — well, her dad is anyway. “My dad would never do that. He’s not that cruel. Why would you say something like that?” Even as the words leave her lips, she’s not sure of who she’s trying to convince but she holds on to the conviction that it’s not true because it can’t be true. “You don’t have to lie, V, Jesus fucking Christ. That’s not going to make it better. At least fucking man up and own up to the fact that you left me.” Eevee tries to calm herself down even if the confusion still grows and all she wants to do is run. “How many times do I have to tell you? I. Do. Not. Care. I don’t fucking care, V. I really don’t. About the money, about everything they’re willing to give me. I can live without that.” There’s a pause before she looks back at him. “Unlock the door. I can get home by myself. I really can’t be in the same space with you right now.”

Vulcan: "I'm not fucking lying, Eevee. I wish it wasn't true, I wish I wasn't threatened by him, wearing a suit in the middle of the night with fucking papers on how our deal should go. I wish that he didn't threaten me into signing those. You don't have to believe me now, but that's what's happened." He sighed deeply. He knew Eevee meant those words, he knew how she hated her lavish life. Yet, he couldn't bring her into the kind of life he was living. It might be her dad getting into his head, but there's just times he couldn't the fact that....maybe he was right. "Alright. At least let me wait for you Uber to pick you up." He sighs in defeat.

Eevee: Eevee lets his words wash over her but doesn’t let it settle in what she believes to be true. “V, just stop, okay? Please stop. My dad would never. Yeah he’s a fucking asshole sometimes but he loves me.” Her phone is out from her pockets, fingers quickly tapping on the screen to get a ride back home. There’s a car nearby and she waits in silence as it nears as per the app, her eyes trained out the window. She can practically feel her heart beat right out of her chest with the the excuse Vulcan threw at her, but like everything else that goes wrong in her life, she’s going to forget — running has never been a stranger to her. The moment she sees the Uber pull up, she’s out the door, muttering a quick thanks at her ex before practically rushing away from him. Eevee just needs to go home, sleep, and pretend none of this ever happened. // END.

#eevee * / discord threads .#eevee * / & vulcan .#alcohol tw #drugs mentioned tw

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kinghoranshit · 3 years

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This is Love (LT) Ch 9

Word Count: 2,124

I couldn't stop the laughs as Katie put the Aloe gel on Niall's very sunburned skin. "This was after forgetting to put sunscreen on the last two days?"

"Not forgot, he just didn't want to," Katie remarked, giving Niall a look.

Niall made a small scoff. "I'm a rebel."

"No, you're an idiot." Though her words were a little harsh, she was still gentle with her rubbing.

"Am not."

Katie smirked and leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek. "You're my idiot." She snapped the lid of the bottle shut and put it in the bathroom. "You're gonna have to take cold showers for a couple days, babe."

"That sucks," Niall sulked.

Katie smiled, trying not to laugh. "You should've worn sunscreen like me the last two days."

Niall narrowed his eyes and stalked towards her. "You're being more painful than this sunburn right now."

Her smile turned into a devious smirk. "Good." She smacked her hand on his arm; pretty hard.

It made me cringe everywhere and the baby kicked.

Katie made an 'o' face, scrunching up her nose. "Did that hurt?"

Niall's peeled nose flared, but it was playfully. "Just a little. This is gonna hurt more." He grabbed her by the waist and picked her up, throwing her on his shoulder. Despite the pain I was sure he felt, he continued. He walked over to the flattened futon and threw her down; not that hard though. Then Niall straddled her and, did what I expected, began to tickle her.

She squealed and squirmed. "Maddy, help me!"

I watched in amusement and made no urgent move. "Can't. The baby."

They continued their fiasco and I outright laughed. Finally, I didn't need to entertain myself.

Katie's yelling became more frantic. "Niall, I can't breath!... Please, I really can't breath!" Her breathing came out short, her face becoming red, and she seemed like she was going to start crying. Despite knowing each other for six years, Niall still didn't seem to know Katie's limits; especially her claustrophobia. And he's claustrophobic too, he should know. But, Katie shouldn't be acting out this horribly, it's really not that bad.

But, as quickly as I could, I walked over and tried to get Niall to stop. "Niall, I really think she can't breath. Stop."

Niall let up his tickling terror and got off.

Katie went into a small coughing bit and heaved for air.

"Babe, I'm sorry," Niall apologized, sincerely, and rested his hand on her's.

She shook her head and took a deep breath. "I'm fine."

I rushed into the kitchen and got a glass of water for her. Katie took a couple sips before setting it down on the table.

"I think I'm gonna take a nap. It's been a long day."

"I agree." I nodded. "You can have my bed."

"No." Katie shook her head. "No giving up your bed. I'll be fine right here."

Louis walked through the front door and stopped his whistling abruptly. "Whoa, who spray painted Niall red?"

Niall made a short, hysterical laugh. "You're funny, mate."

Louis smirked his knowing smirk. "I think I am. Good luck with future photos." He looked over at me. "Ready for Nando's?"

I shrugged. "I was thinking we could stay in tonight, since Kat and Niall just got back?"

"Alright, my love." He did have the look that he was slightly annoyed at the suggestion of changing our plans, but he knew they were getting back today.

"What?" Niall exasperated. "You're gonna give it up just like that? It's Nando's!"

Louis shook his head. "I'm sorry, mate. But she is carrying my child, whatever she says, goes."

"You've grown weak, Lou." Niall shook his head, disappointed.

The two laughed and moved to give each other hugs.

"So, what's on the agenda for supper tonight then?" Louis asked, giving me an expecting look.

I looked at Katie and we made faces, laughing. I already knew what she wanted.

"Cheeseburgers," I answered.

***

Katie and I cuddled as we watched Transylvania 2. The boys were spread out on the floor, asleep. Yet Katie was the one who was going to take a nap.

Our wrappers from McDonald's were scattered on the table in front of us. We probably could have put them in the bags... but work. I watched as the little, curly haired boy grew his fangs and changed into a bat to save the little, wolf girl.

Katie and I pointed at the TV and yelled, "Ha! Take that!"

Our eyes went wide as the boys stirred and we looked at one another; oops. I prayed that the boys wouldn't wake up and thankfully, they didn't. Hmmm... not light, but light, sleepers. I've noticed that throughout the years.

Katie and I continued to watch the movie in enjoyment, making silent sounds of cheering and approval. It had quite the ending.

"That was so good," I whispered as I began to pick up the trash.

"I told you," Katie whispered as she helped. She took two steps towards the kitchen and stopped, subtly bringing a hand on her head.

I furrowed my eyebrows and rested my hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay, Katie?"

"Yeah. Fine." She let out a deep breath, continuing to the kitchen to throw the trash in her hands away. "Just tired, I think."

"Get to bed then. We have work tomorrow."

"Damn," Katie muttered under her breath.

I nodded, agreeing with her. I couldn't wait to get back to teaching though.

I made sure Katie was tucked in first before I entered the bedroom. We decided to leave the boys where they were; they were really out now.

I wasn't quite as tired as I would've hoped. I grabbed my journal and flipped to the most current song I was working on in secret. I hadn't told any of the others; it got a little too personal.

***

I jolted awake to my alarm buzzing and beeping at me. I reached for my IPhone and swiped it over to turn it off.

Reluctantly, I crawled out of bed and started to get ready. I yanked on a pair of purple tights to wear with a short sleeve, white with watercolor floral dress and black flats. I pulled on a yellow cardigan as well. I left my hair down and did minimal makeup.

Katie sported black leggings, a black tee, her red and black plaid tied around her waist, black combats, and a dark grey 'Vans' hat. She was pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Katie, you own a coffee shop. Have some there."

"But it's better at home," she replied, taking a sip from her black travel mug. She smiled. "I like your outfit."

I smiled widely and did a little twirl. "Really? Me too. Yours is pretty banging."

She cocked a brow, then just laughed. "Thanks, Mads. Want some tea?"

"No, thanks." Katie looked at me like I'd gone mad. "I'm stopping at the shop later, as usual. I'll have some then."

"Right." She snapped her fingers. "Speaking of the shop, I better get down there. I'll see you later."

I waved goodbye to her. "Okay. See you then. Make good choices."

"Always." She smirked as she shut the front door.

I sighed in contentment and decided I should get going to the school. But not without eating something first. I made myself a bowl of yogurt with granola and berries. I paced around as I scooped the food into my mouth, and I tidied up little things. It was now, I noticed the boys weren't here. I supposed they probably left for the studio already; they talked about going in last night.

As Katie would say, they were all a bunch of little shits. They were already secretly working on songs for the next album, and just for fun, mostly for fun.

I grabbed my satchel bag and headed out. As I stepped outside, I realized I should've put my hair up. Luckily, I had a hair tie on my wrist, so I quickly whipped my curls up into a makeshift bun. I walked freely to the school. No more guards. For now, at least.

I smiled as I stepped inside the school once again after being gone for two weeks.

"Hello, Ms.Lewis," Mr.Engest greeted with a smile.

I waved to him. "Good morning, Mr.Engest. Everything alright?"

He made a short nod. "Just peachy. How's the shop?"

Now, I gave him a look. "I think you know, but it's great! Katie's back there now, handling it perfectly."

"Good." He chuckled.

I laughed under my breath as I continued down the hallway to my first classroom.

"Ms.Lewis! You're back!" Frankie exclaimed. To say I was surprised was an understatement.

"I am. What'd you do while I was holding down the coffee fort?" I set my stuff down on the desk then grabbed the chalk to write 'If you were to leave me now, the walls of my home would fall down.'

Frankie lightly scoffed, "Don't you know?"

I shrugged and turned around. "Not particularly. What happened?" Naturally, I leaned on the desk and rested my hands on my forever growing belly.

"We had a lot more writing. And a presentation."

"Whoa!" I made a short laugh. "You're lucky I'm back then. Today we're having a discussion and then you have a two page essay due tomorrow." The class groaned in disappointment. "Hey, you didn't let me finish! It's a two page essay, double spaced, and the font can be point 12. And it only requires one source, and that's what's written on the chalkboard."

Carly raised her hand and I pointed to her. "Yes?"

"This is what we're discussing, yeah?"

"It is." I nodded. "This are actually lyrics my dear friend, Katie, wrote a few years back. I thought they'd tie in perfect with The American Dream, a little. My question for you is what or who do you consider home?... What makes you feel at home? How do you feel at home? By the way, I'm practically handing you your essay right now, I'm shocked to not see more writing utensils moving."

The room was consumed with papers being shuffled around and then the sweet sound of ink or grain hitting the paper filled my ears.

"Alright, who has an answer to get the conversation flowing?"

***

"Look who just arrived!" an Irish voice announced. I guess Niall came to work here for a bit?

Katie smiled widely from across the counter. "It's Mads and guacamole!"

I shot her small daggers. "Ha, ha, Katie."

Week sixteen, the baby was supposed to be the size of an avocado.

"I think it's pretty funny. What would you like?" she snickered, lightly.

I sighed deeply, thinking about it long and hard; it was a difficult decision. "I'll have... grey and a crumpet."

Katie nodded and called out, "Grey and crumpet!"

"Why do ya keep doing that? You're the only one at the counter!" Niall yelled, which was followed with her laugh.

He stopped what he was doing, which was cleaning down empty tables, and looked at me. "She's calling the order to herself. She's literally been doing it for the past hour."

I made a small laugh. "Has it just been you and her?"

"Well, it was just her until about lunch time. Then Lou and I decided we'd have lunch here. She was a full house and the only one working. So instead of eating, I jumped in to help."

Katie walked over with my cup of tea and a matching plate with a crumpet on it. "I was doing fine."

"Wasn't Geneva supposed to work with you today?" I raised a brow as she handed my items off to me.

"She was." Katie nodded. "But her sister was in an accident, so I let her go."

"There's a thing called calling someone in if you need help."

"I didn't need help!" Katie exclaimed, seeming more upset about this than needed. She walked behind the counter and began to busy herself with other things.

"Katie..." I set my tea and crumpet down and walked over to where she was. "What's wrong?"

"Want to know what's wrong?" she snapped, looking between Niall and I. "Geneva quit on me, okay? Apparently it's too difficult to deal with the fan situations. It's not like I expected everyone to stick around, but her out of everyone? What the fuck?"

Katie's face was getting un-naturally red and I could see the slight sweat beads that formed across her forehead.

I reached out for her, to try and get her to stop what she was doing in her rage. "Katie, please stop It's gonna be alri-KATIE!"

Suddenly, Katie dropped to the floor.

Next: Ch 10

[Masterlist]

#Louis Tomlinson #LT #Louis Tomlinson fic #Louis Tomlinson fanfiction #LT fic #LT fanfiction #fic #fanfiction #romance #drama #comedy #This is Love

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