#tbb angst
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Canon doesn’t go into the downsides of the Batch’s mutations enough.
Show me how long it took before Hunter could handle loud noises without feeling like his skull was being ripped apart from the inside. Show me how the first time they were off Kamino must have completely overloaded his senses. Show me how even being surrounded by the electrical signals from the Marauder gets too much for him sometimes. Show me how he can’t always join his brothers to unwind at 79’s because the noise and the scents and the everything, it’s too much, but he can’t make it stop, he’ll never be able to make it stop.
Show me how all the rewiring of Tech’s memory played havoc with his mind. Show me the times when learning became something that frightened him rather than fascinating him, because there’s just so much that he needs to know in order for the GAR to deem him as useful, and if he slips up there’s no second chances. Show me how sometimes it felt like he wouldn’t be able to remember anything at all, not even who he was, because it’s physically impossible for him to process all of the information in his mind at once. Show me how having his memory so meticulously fine-tuned means that he’ll never be able to make himself forget the hours upon hours he spent trapped in a laboratory, the moment they realised the Republic was gone for good, the look in Crosshair’s eyes when they left him on that landing pad -
Show me just how bad Wrecker’s growing pains were, even worse than the normal ones from accelerated aging. Show me the toll that years of strain have taken on his body. Show me how his back aches almost consistently, how not even bacta can make it go away for good. Show me how reluctant he is to take any kind of real painkillers for it even when it’s at its worst, because he spent so much of his childhood (if it can even be called that) being hooked up to needles and machines. The pain is bad, but the memories are worse.
Show me how often Crosshair’s eyes got infected from being constantly operated on. Show me how difficult it is for him to fall asleep unless he’s in complete darkness. Show me what it was like to grow up on a planet where he was surrounded by blinding white every which way he turned. Show me Crosshair, who’d rather die than let himself be perceived as vulnerable, the elite sniper who should be unstoppable but somehow can’t stop himself from shying away from bright light, show me just how scared he is of ever going blind.
Show me exactly what the Kaminoans put them through to refine their enhancements into what they are today.
#*thanos voice* fine. i’ll do it myself.#the bad batch#tbb#tbb hunter#tbb tech#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#bad batch angst#tbb angst
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random thought
so if Rex is marked as K.I.A in the Imperial Files, and Cody saw that, after he went "AWOL" and was possibly exectuted, doesn't that kinda give a vibe that Cody thought to find Rex again? yk like after death?
Just me? okay. fair.
#bad batch#tbb#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#tbb wrecker#tbb tech#tbb omega#the bad batch series#clone wars#commander cody#captain rex#tbb angst#bad batch angst#the dad batch
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Angsty tech focused bb fic where he goes back to Pabu after he doesn't know how many years in search of his siblings, he's not able to see as well as he used to, that fall damaged his eyes, but he can still kinda see some features and with glasses he made, he's managed.
He gets there and finds only some woman who recognizes him.
It's Omega.
She's grown up, has kids of her one now.
It may have been longer than Tech thought, something like, twenty eight years instead of just a handful.
What do you think?
Edit: I might have another au on my hands, and I lurves it!
Update: 1st chapter is done, will post it later tonight. It's angsty😃
It is done!
Ao3 link
#Star Wars#The Bad Batch#Bad Batch#Tbb#Tbb angst#bad batch angst#Tbb Tech#Tbb Omega#Angsty fic#Tbb Echo#galactic empire
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Scar Tissue - The Bad Batch
Set immediately after season 2, so spoilers if you're not caught up. Got in my feelings about how the batch would handle their situation and this happened. Enjoy my angst! Echo cops most of it because I love putting my favourites through the most pain.
Words: 1803
There is a type of silence that feels tangible. A type of silence that seems to live and breathe and think. A type of silence like a creature lurking, a predator. Unseen, though its presence grates keenly on your senses and drives you back, caging you in until even the tempered rise and fall of your chest is an unwelcome intrusion. A thin, ragged breath is driven from Hunter’s lungs. His heart pounds in his throat, like the frenzied hoofbeats of a wounded animal. His fists clench, fighting in vain against the tide that drags his mind back to the hell they’d just clawed out of.
Desperately, he digs beneath the silence, enhanced senses searching for ground, for the blanketing whir of the engines or the dull hum of hyperspace to keep him in his body. Instead, he hears Wrecker a dozen feet away, sitting on the ledge of the tailgun pit, his breath leaving him in short bursts that he tries to disguise. Unbidden, Hunter’s chest seizes, forcing his eyes away from his brother’s pained expression. Too long ago had their fury burnt out and left them with only the ashes of their grief. And yet, when Hunter turns his senses to the front of the Marauder, he alights on Echo’s heartbeat: steady, slow, rhythmic as marching drums. No trace of pain lingers in his expression – his brow is set but uncreased, his jaw square but slack. Hunter’s upper lip twitches. Among the ashes, an ember sparks to life.
It had been this way since that first moment. Since the worst had happened. Fleeing like beaten strays, hey had returned to Ord Mantell and touched down at Cid’s with broken bones the least of their pains. It shamed him to admit it, but Hunter had almost been relieved that he had Omega’s condition to focus on, to keep his mind away from where it kept trying to stray. From the look on Tech’s face as he vanished beneath the clouds. He stayed by Omega’s bedside, despairing in her every exhale, cursing himself and all he had done to lead his squad here, before she inhaled again and started the cycle anew. Wrecker was listless, aimless, his limbs seeming for once as heavy and cumbersome to him as they did to everyone else. He had been slumped over the bar when Hunter had left him, staring into the stained benchtop like it would give him an answer.
And Echo. Echo, who had stayed on the ship to review holomaps and plot possible flightpaths. Echo, who had come to Hunter with a list of questions about their next destination, about supplies and inventory. Echo who had passed out rations, splitting Tech and Omega’s shares among the three of them without so much as a sigh. As if their entire world hadn’t just ground to a screeching, violent halt. As if ration bars and blaster repair had any meaning at all anymore. It was absurd. Unthinkable. Hunter could scarcely make sense of what Echo was doing, couldn’t even gather the sense to feel anger at his apathy. Instead, when Echo had offered the rations, Hunter had merely stared his brother down, his face clearly betraying his dismay, and searched Echo for any sign of acknowledgement of what had happened. When Echo’s expression showed only confusion at a lack of answer, Hunter had pushed silently past Echo, leaving him on the ship to run routine maintenance like this was any other day.
Hunter had not felt his confoundedness give way to anger until after the next catastrophe. Until now, with Omega long gone, torn straight from their very hands. Hunter can barely stand to keep breathing, and still Echo sits before him, tapping away at a datapad, eyes moving in deliberate, unhurried arcs across the screens.
“There’s an outpost not far from here we can stop at to resupply,” he says, and the emptiness of his voice enrages Hunter. There’s nothing there. No pain, no crushing weight of guilt or horror, no sign that Echo is, like Wrecker and himself, standing with his toes over a precipice and leaning forward. His statement goes unanswered, and Echo does not even waver at this.
Hunter finally snaps when Echo makes his way to Tech’s shelf, leans down, and digs into Tech’s pouch to fish out a handful of credits.
“The hell are you doing?” he says, his voice a low, warning growl. Echo straightens.
“We need plast to patch up our armour and bacta for the wounds,” he replies, and his voice is so kriffing sensible that Hunter wants to scream. “Won’t be cheap. We need all the credits we can get.”
“So you go rifling through your dead brother’s bags to get them?”
This, finally, gives Echo pause. He draws his chin up, tightens his jaw. A crease has appeared at his brow.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know damn well what it means,” Hunter snarls. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Echo studies Hunter’s face for a long, lingering moment. The longer his brother’s eyes search him, the more Hunter feels the impulse to do something he’ll regret. He feels raw, volatile. A fire starved for fuel.
“We need to stay focused,” Echo says finally. “We have a mission to complete.” As infuriating as Echo’s eyes had been on him, it’s worse when Echo looks away and turns his attention back to the console. Hunter lets the flames consume him, anger searing away the pain like a cauterised wound.
“Doesn’t seem like you care a whole lot either way,” he hears himself say, and Echo’s head snaps up like he’s just been shot at. He stands.
“Is there a problem, Hunter?”
“You tell me, Echo. Sure seems like you’re not having a single problem here.”
Silence senses its opening and begins once again to stalk the two of them, but before it can sink its teeth in it is disturbed by a soft, pained groan from across the cockpit. Hunter is taken aback by the sight: Wrecker looks small.
“Don’t,” he pleads. Through the barricade of Wrecker’s arms, Hunter can just barely see Wrecker worrying Lula’s ear between his fingers. “No fighting. Not now. We can’t.”
Echo’s sigh is heavy, his eyes falling momentarily shut.
“I know this is hard. But we need to stay on our feet here. We can’t afford to slow down.”
“Do you hear yourself?! Can’t afford to slow down?! We just lost a brother and let the karking Empire take Omega, and you’re talking about staying on our feet?!” Hunter can’t tell if the tremble in his voice sounds as clear as it feels, whether it’s the grief or the anger that wins. Either way, he has edged over the precipice and plunged into freefall, no other way out now than to go down, down, down.
“Hunter, I know how much it hurts. Really, I—”
“Could’ve fooled me,” he spits, the words venomous, weaponised. “From where I’m sitting, you’re doing a pretty lousy job of pretending to care.”
If Hunter had been anywhere close to his own mind, he would have regretted the words as soon as they’d spilled from his lips. But they had burst forth from him as though he were only a bystander. In fact, he scarcely felt he was in control of his own limbs, until Echo’s next words brought him plummeting back down into his body with a weight like solid stone.
“Do you know how many times I’ve been through this?” he utters.
His voice is soft, suddenly coreless, like the first dregs of a gathering fog. It’s enough of a shock to strike Hunter dumb. Echo continues nonetheless.
“You’ve never lost one of your own before. Not like this. Not like how we lost Tech.” The name is a hail of shrapnel in Hunter’s chest. His ears prick: Echo’s breath shudders when he inhales. “But I have.”
The words hang thick in the air, demanding silence in their wake. Hunter has not thought much of Echo’s time with the other regs. Has never really thought of Echo as a reg at all. The reality comes to him all at once, discordant and unwelcome, like a dozen different songs played over each other. He clenches his jaw and forces himself to meet his Echo’s piercing gaze.
“Do you have any idea how many brothers I’ve seen die?” he breathes. He does not look away. Does not even blink. “Do you have any idea how many I didn’t get to see die?”
There is nothing beneath the silence now. When Hunter searches for it, the whir of the engine is not there, and the dull hum of hyperspace has faded away to nothing. Not even the sound of his own breathing reaches him.
“Every time,” Echo quavers, his resolve at long last beginning to crack, “Every time I stepped off a battlefield, there was another handful of brothers I’d already said my last words to. Sometimes weeks ago.” Echo’s eyes shine, his lip trembling with a memory he does not give voice to. “Sometimes years.”
“Echo, I—”
“You think it doesn’t hurt for me that Tech’s gone? That we lost Omega? Of course it kriffing hurts. Of course I feel it. How could I not? That pain… it’s the most familiar feeling I have.”
It’s too much. Hunter falters, breaks his eyes from Echo’s. His gaze falls, landing on his brother’s shaking hand instead. Echo continues. “We’re soldiers. We lay down our lives for what we believe in. And I, for one, respect Tech’s sacrifice too much to waste it by letting the pain get the better of me.”
There’s a type of guilt that has claws. A type of guilt that shreds you from the inside out and leaves you hollow and weightless. A type of guilt that burrows into your memories and tears holes in your past, letting light shine through from the present to show you every ignorant thought and deed in bright, garish light. Hunter tries to speak, but words are beyond him, his mouth hanging useless and ajar. It’s Wrecker who breaks the cold war between them. He stands, plods softly over to Echo. Lula still held tightly in one hand, the other laid gentle but firm on Echo’s shoulder.
“I got a few credits to spare for bacta,” he says. Echo regards him for a long moment, then lays his own hand atop Wrecker’s. The quiet vulnerability in the look they share is what draws Hunter to his feet. There are a thousand words he wants to say. That he would say, if he thought any of it would be worth more than the quiet nod he shares with his brother as he approaches the console.
“Show me the flight plans you were working on.”
#tbb#the bad batch#tbb fic#the bad batch fanfiction#tbb s2#tbb spoilers#arc trooper echo#clone trooper hunter#clone trooper wrecker#tbb angst#tbb omega#clone trooper tech#drabble
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Command
Chapter 9 of Moonwalker: The Batch
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{join my taglist!} {crossposted to Wattpad} {crossposted to AO3}
Crosshair x Fem!OC, Hunter x Fem!OC
Chapter summary: Despite Sarah's efforts, things take a turn for the worse and it begins to seem impossible for her to leave Kamino alongside Crosshair.
Warnings/tags: Mature (minors still not allowed). Angst, so much angst, love triangles and tensions due to these, language, mild mentions of injury.
A/N: Happy Moonwalker Monday! I have been dreading yet excited for this chapter because it is the fateful separation. See you next Monday with the next update, taking place during the events of Saleucami--and possibly kindling things with Hunter?
Word count: 4.2k
Songs: They Know by MOTTRON
The shock troopers led Sarah all the way to the bottom of the med bay to a room she'd never been in before. It was a rather large chamber that was adjacent to the laboratories with the more advanced equipment, and if she didn't know better, it felt like a room like that one shouldn't have been in the med bay.
It felt more like something that would belong near the brig; it was large and empty, with a table, two chairs, and a control panel, like a spot to question someone and intimidate the answers out of them before throwing them away to rot in a cell.
Three people were waiting for Sarah and the troopers in the ominous room. The first one was Tarkin, whom she'd seen coming. The second person waiting there was Nala Se, who instantly raised all of Sarah's inner alarms, bringing her state of alert to its fullest.
But the third person there, the one who would always make her zone anyone else out, was Crosshair.
Her gaze found him; he was still only in his under-armor suit and his bronze skin had a sickly, pale undertone to it, not the usual warm brown it had, and he looked tired, dismal.
She walked faster, leaving the troopers behind her before she was instructed anything else. Panting, Sarah cupped Crosshair's cheeks and looked into his eyes as she struggled to hide her own despair. His gaze was much harder than before, besides the tired, pained, angry look he already carried, and unlike other times, his gaze didn't soften when he looked at her.
"Are you okay?" She asked him softly as her fingers brushed the skin on the sides of his face.
While Crosshair didn't answer, and he continued to look at her with that same expression, the sound of Tarkin laughing filled the room.
"I might have known from the start that this would be the way to recruit you," he bantered.
"What's going on?" Sarah's tone shifted to an aggressive one, and she protectively grasped Crosshair's wrist. "Why are we here?"
"For the same purpose we discussed earlier," Tarkin replied. "You both excel in your own ways. I have been notified of the state in which you've left the brig. I am still convinced you will show promise in the Empire, and now that your beau is recruited, you will stay."
"Neither one of us is going to fight for you," Sarah barked back. "You're delusional if you think we are."
Credit given to all her confidence, Sarah was cut off by the sight of another two armored clone troopers entering the room, each carrying parts of an entire set of gear. The armor was black and it had the new crest that the Empire was using, and lastly, Sarah noticed another 773-Firepuncher, brand new and updated, being handed to the one trooper who would ever be able to master it.
That armor and gear were meant for Crosshair, and no sooner had the troopers arrived than they began to dress him with it.
Sarah knew Tarkin had brought her there to mess with her mind.
"No," Sarah said, her voice weak and breaking with the knot in her throat.
Still with a hard gaze, Crosshair allowed the troopers to continue to dress him, not uttering a word at the woman in front of him.
"This isn't you," her voice raised its volume as her heart slammed at her chest. She walked up to Crosshair and shoved one of the troopers away from him so that she could be directly in front of him.
"What did they do to you?!" She begged for an answer, eyes sorrowful and reflecting her plea.
She watched a flash of recognition passing through Crosshair's eyes, as though some corner at the back of his mind wanted to claw its way through the shell of this odd, dull, tired exterior they'd made of him. Whatever it was, it didn't manage to surface, and Sarah was already getting her wrists held together behind her, with the barrels of blasters pressed against her back. Sarah was then forced down to her knees as they held her arms extended, and she had a plaster pointed to her neck, rendering her completely immobile.
Tarkin held his hand up, signaling the troopers to stop, and then he looked over at Crosshair to give him a sign of approval.
Sarah's wide eyes drifted to Crosshair as he looked down at her, not trying to murder anyone who was threatening or hurting her, the way he'd done only so recently.
"Sarah," he spoke, his voice deep and eerily monotonous. "Comply."
Sarah began to pant. He had never stood by and said something of the sort. She knew him, she knew her Crosshair, through their imprint, she'd gazed into his very soul, and she knew he wouldn't do that if he were in his right mind.
In her desperation, the only one she could turn to for an answer was Nala Se herself. Sarah's fear-driven gaze found the Kaminoan head scientist, momentarily putting aside her anger if it meant Crosshair could be saved.
"What's happening to him?"
Sarah expected Nala Se to behave smugly at her question, but the Kaminoan's eyes remained intently on her, even if she didn't speak or do anything.
After a few tense moments of silence, Tarkin spoke up again. "CT-9904, you have orders not to harm her. The rest of the squadron you belonged to will suffer the punishment for treason. Now, Sarah."
She evaded his gaze, but it was hopeless. The way she was being held by the soldiers didn't allow her to look away for long, and beside her, Crosshair continued to be given imperial armor by the remaining troopers.
"You are not one to hide your concern for this clone, I must say that," Tarkin spoke again. "Accept to fight for the Empire and you will be granted full pardon as well as continue to serve by his side. All you have to fo is obey."
As Tarkin talked, Sarah noticed Nala Se slightly lifting her head when her eyes landed on her. Sarah kept looking over at her old enemy and, discreetly, Nala Se gestured using only her eyes to her left, pointing at something that was behind Sarah. Nala Se's gaze lingered on that spot for a while before looking over at Sarah, her facial expression remaining unchanged.
But Tarkin had stopped talking, and Sarah needed to see whatever Nala Se was signaling.
"What do you want from me?" She said, struggling in the troopers' grip. "You mentioned Palpatine before, what does he want?"
As she pretended to struggle, Sarah angled herself to quickly see what Nala Se wanted to show her. Tarkin answered, taking Sarah's bait, giving Sarah enough of a window to get a visual.
Strapped to one of the legs of the table was a small, rectangular smoke bomb. There was no logical reason for it to be there other than someone having planted it beforehand, possibly Nala Se thinking she'd need a quick escape now that the Empire was getting more involved in Kamino. Sarah wouldn't even have to move over there to detonate it; a simple blast would suffice.
"Is that understood?" Tarkin asked.
Sarah hesitated, hoping he would take the bait again. "I understand."
She was then allowed to stand, but her arms were still restrained as one of the newly-arrived soldiers walked up to her. As he showed her the imperial armor that would be hers, a set that matched Crosshair's, Nala Se turned around and slowly paced towards the control panel where she grabbed a familiar holopad.
"Governor," she spoke. "It appears the prisoners have escaped."
Tarkin faced the scientist. "What do you mean escaped?"
Sarah knew that was her chance. Rounding up all her strength and speed, she yanked her arms towards her and caused the two troopers restraining her to butt helmets with each other. She then leaned back to dodge the blast from the third trooper, grabbed the barrel of the blaster with one hand using the opposite elbow to impact his helmet, hard enough to knock him out too.
Crosshair was about to reach for Sarah, his arm extended. Sarah was about to take his hand, but she stopped herself when she saw him fully in imperial armor.
As she hesitated, she knew she couldn't waste another second. If this plan failed, she wouldn't be spared a second time, and then Crosshair and her would be trapped. Though her heart ached, she decided to follow the plan and accurately blast the smoke bomb, detonating it and filling the room with a dense, gray fog. With the blaster still in hand, she ran outside and made her way back to the brig.
Not very far from the brig, before turning down one of the main corridors, Sarah crashed into someone much taller than her. Frightened, she aimed with her blaster, but she loudly sighed out her tension when she realized it was Hunter and the others.
"Sarah!" He gasped, his hands grasping her arms as he checked her for any injuries. "Are you alright? Where's Crosshair?"
"Still with Tarkin," she answered. "He's in the med bay, but they might move from there. I barely escaped."
"Okay, hey," Hunter's hands traveled down to her wrists, helping her remain calm. "We're on our way to the hangar, our gear might be there. We get it and we go back for him, alright?"
She nodded and, before they kept running, she tugged on Hunter's hand.
"I don't know what they've done to him, but it's bad," she warned.
"We'll manage," Hunter reassured her, and then he led the way back to the hangar.
As they arrived at the dark hangar, Sarah saw several crates between them and the ship. All of their things were indeed there. As everyone went to armor up, Sarah found the crate where her rifle lay, and at the bottom were the two diamonds, each with their own chains. She secured her diamond around her neck, purposefully allowing it to show, and she kept Crosshair's diamond handy as well, knowing she may need it.
It didn't take long for the others to finish gathering their most important items, and as Tech headed into the ship to ready it for their escape, Sarah closed her eyes to cancel out everything else so she could focus on finding Crosshair. Their bond through the Force had made it easier for her to see him if she focused well enough, and it wasn't long before she found him.
But when she did, she gasped. He, and a squadron of soldiers, were just outside the hangar.
Everyone had the instinct to hide behind the multiple crates scattered around the hangar when the large door opened, revealing a formation of shock troopers backed by Crosshair. Sarah had already seen him in his imperial armor, but the scene took the life out of Hunter and the rest of his brothers.
Sarah was hiding just beside Hunter behind a large box, and she had first-hand view of the way his hope and expectations crumbled to dust as he saw his youngest brother wearing the enemy's armor, and as that shattered, so did her heart.
She saw as Hunter crushed the emotions threatening to overwhelm him, and he turned to her with the fierce determination he always knew.
"Get to the ship," he said. "Make sure Omega gets there safely."
"You're not going anywhere," Crosshair called from across the room. "You really should have killed that Jedi, Hunter."
Hunter then stood up, and he went to face Crosshair directly, standing several meters away from him. A thunderclap lit by lightning thickened the tension between the two brothers, standing at opposing sides when they should have been the biggest of allies.
"You've lost your mind," Hunter spoke, pain riddling his otherwise husky voice.
"You just couldn't see the bigger picture," Crosshair replied to him.
"What happened to you?!" Hunter's voice raised, desperately trying to find an answer as to why his youngest sibling was now turning his rifle on him. "What about us, what about Sarah?!"
"She's staying with me," Crosshair replied. "As she should."
"Crosshair, stop talking nonsense and come with us," Hunter tried to persuade his brother, the plea bleeding through his eyes. "We're your family."
Crosshair remained silent. A quiet struggle flashed through his eyes, but it remained mostly invisible behind the exterior resulting from whatever they'd done to him, a factor still unclear to everyone in the squad. The marksman looked as if he wanted to speak, but, trembling, he took aim with his rifle and fired at Hunter.
"Crosshair, no!" Sarah yelled, horrified at the sight.
Hunter had managed to see the blast coming, and he dodged just in time to take his place back behind the crates beside Sarah and Omega, putting his helmet on again and getting ready to find.
"Get to the ship, now!" Hunter called.
"Let me talk to him!" Sarah answered. "I can get to him."
"Sarah, we need to leave—"
"I'm not leaving him behind and neither are you," she stated, her voice final and powerful.
"We don't have a choice right now," Hunter replied. "We either leave or we get killed."
"You promised!" Sarah said, the sound of blasts in the background nearly muffling her voice.
But Hunter would always hear her, and her words pierced through him harder than any blade could. He knew he'd made a promise to her; he hated the idea of letting her down almost as much as he dreaded leaving Crosshair. Still, Hunter remained speechless behind the crust of his helmet, concealing all his emotion and every one of his thoughts.
"I'm sorry," he said to her. "But I have to protect you and my brothers."
Sarah shook her head, convinced Hunter's mind was set on escaping. She got up and walked to the middle of the battlefield, not caring a bit about the crossfire she'd be caught in.
But at the sight of her, Crosshair lifted his rifle and rested it upright on his shoulder as his free hand went up in a fist, ordering his men to cease fire. He removed his helmet and looked at her, softening ever so slightly as his eyes fell upon the woman for whom he'd never admitted his love out loud.
"Get over here," Crosshair spoke.
"No," Sarah softly shook her head, her voice already breaking with tears announcing themselves. "Cross, listen to me—"
Behind her, her squad took the opportunity to get closer to the Marauder, a detail that didn't escape Crosshair's ever-watchful, hardening gaze.
"If they move again, I order the troopers to open fire," Crosshair growled.
But Sarah used the Force to shove the other troopers back, making them crash onto the wall hard enough for them to be unconscious if only for a few minutes. After that, she held out Crosshair's diamond for him to see, and she noticed that it got his attention just as she'd planned.
"Come," she said softly, bringing his gaze back on hers. "Let's leave."
"Sarah..." Crosshair's voice was the softest any of them had ever heard it.
"You don't have to stay here," she continued as the tears began rolling down her face. "We can leave now, Crosshair. We don't ever have to see this planet again."
Crosshair looked as if he was hesitating.
"Please," Sarah said. "Come with me. Stay with me, Cross... You can tell me what they did to you, and we'll revert it. It'll all go back to normal. We'll be together. Just come with me, please."
But it wasn't enough. Crosshair still remained stoic and hesitant in front of her, making Sarah lose bits of her hope with every second that passed. Streams of tears rolled down the skin of her face, dampening her marks and rolling onto her own diamond around her neck.
"Remember Kashyyyk," she tried to get through to him. "We saved each other. When I woke up, you were there with me. You even smiled at me."
"You told me..." Crosshair began to speak, but he stopped in the middle of his sentence, grimacing through the sharp pain in his head.
"I was about to kiss you and, dammit, I should have! I should have kissed you the first time I wanted you, I should have kept you close!" Sarah sobbed. "Please, just come with me!"
Crosshair's gaze hardened as it look like he was holding back tears, but the shock troopers were beginning to get back up, raising the tensions once more. Sarah and Crosshair still looked at each other, the air cold around them, as the thunder roared just a bit louder.
She refused to look away, if only it meant clinging to the image she held of him. Crosshair, the man with the toothpick fixation, who one-shot dozens of droids to win a competition against his older brother, who saved her life from that centipede, whose life she'd saved too, who'd slept next to her when they were both safe, who had waited at her bedside until she woke up after being poisoned, who had kissed her back...
He was fading, and taking his place was the man who was being forced into everything he would never do.
Crosshair put his helmet back on, concealing himself from Sarah.
"Stun her," he ordered his men. "Eliminate the rest."
Sarah quickly managed the first stun bolt headed her way, her gaze trailed on Crosshair. If she could just get her hands on one of those blasters, she would stun him. She would drag him out of there if she had to. She would refuse to leave him there, in the hands of the Empire where he would be manipulated and corrupted.
As she tried getting rid of the troopers, she heard the Marauder powering up behind her. Crosshair ordered his man to seal the hangar's doors, preventing their escape, but just as Sarah noticed the doors were failing to close, her distraction earned her not a stun bolt, but a dart that electrocuted her and weakened her enough to lose feeling in most of her body, making her drop to the floor.
And then, a smoke bomb was launched. Sarah lost visibility of everything, and she wasn't strong enough to see through the Force. All she could make out was Crosshair getting ready to reach for her, but Wrecker launched himself toward her at the same time and he took out the troopers flanking Crosshair, only for the marksman to fire at Wrecker's shoulder.
Now, they were both down. Echo rushed over as soon as the smoke had cleared, and he helped Wrecker crawl into cover while Hunter risked himself to go and get Sarah.
Just as Crosshair prepared to fire at Hunter, a shot clearer than day, he felt a large, intangible weight press over him, restraining him from being able to move or do anything. His visor found Sarah as she was being taken into Hunter's arms, gently and delicately cradling her figure, as his older brother took her away from him. Sarah's focus didn't break, and Crosshair wasn't able to fire a single blast.
"Let's go!" Hunter called.
"No...!" Sarah yelled, her voice strained. "We can't leave him!"
"Tech, get the ship ready!" Hunter yelled out again.
"It's ready, sarge," Tech said through the comms. "We just need you on here."
"Hunter!" Sarah cried, all but wanting to release Crosshair from her grip if it didn't mean they'd be blasted.
Another tear trailed down Sarah's face when Hunter turned around and ran her over to the Marauder, as she realized Crosshair wouldn't be going with them.
By the time Hunter was running up the platform of the ship with her in his arms, she was weeping. She was so distraught that her Force grip on Crosshair had worn off; despite expecting a blast to hit Hunter, or one of the ship's engines, none came. She was simply sat down to rest on one of the ship's passenger seats while the ship hurried away from Kamino.
They had made it out.
They were all in there except for Crosshair.
***
She sat in front of the Marauder's central holopanel, her gaze lost in space. She looked numb, but all the effects of the electric dart had worn off. She didn't speak a word, her silence was cold and dismal like loss itself. She heard words spoken around her, but she didn't listen. She didn't answer when she was addressed.
All she saw was the image of Crosshair, the last time she saw his eyes before he put his helmet on again.
If she hadn't gotten distracted, she wouldn't have gotten hit by that dart. She would have been able to get him out. Or perhaps she should have stayed longer with him in the med bay, or she should have made sure to escape with him.
There were multiple things she could have done, but none of them had happened.
Now, Crosshair wasn't there anymore. He was alone on Kamino.
He was alone.
Hunter rounded up the courage to go and sit next to her; she could tell his own flame was burning low, but he still seemed more concerned for Sarah than for the brother he'd lost to the Empire.
"How are you?" He asked her quietly.
Sarah looked up at him, but she was unable to speak. The knot in her throat kept her from uttering even a syllable, and she brought her hand to her forehead, frowning hard to keep herself from crying again.
And as Hunter looked at her, she knew her heart wasn't the only one that was broken.
"Not all is lost," Hunter told her. "We have to do what we can with what we have, and what matters now is that you and Wrecker are recovering."
As the others filled the center of the ship, Sarah thought about what Hunter said. She couldn't bring herself to be mad at him; he knew he'd only attempted to save as many of his squad as he could.
From the corner of her eye, Sarah noticed Wrecker nudging Omega, who walked up to her with Lula in her hands, offering the plushie as a symbol of unconditional love, of support, of a wish for someone to recover.
Sarah took the plushie and held it tightly. "Thank you."
Looking at Omega, Sarah thought of Nala Se. She thought perhaps, when she'd helped her escape, she was thinking of Omega. Perhaps she trusted Sarah would help Omega get out safely.
Hunter took Sarah's hand, slowly as though he were hesitating, his fingers lightly brushing the chain that secured Crosshair's diamond.
"What did Tarkin want with you?"
"He wanted to recruit me too," Sarah replied, keeping her hand there below Hunter's, latching onto the sense of warmth and comfort.
"And he tried using Crosshair to get you to do it..." Hunter realized.
"I should have stayed," Sarah admitted. "I shouldn't have left so quickly. Crosshair might have come with us if I had."
"This wasn't your fault," Echo comforted her. "You did all you could, you tried. In the end, there was nothing else we could have done."
The words lingered in Sarah's mind. Heavens knew she had indeed tried to bring Crosshair along.
But despite her efforts, he wasn't there.
Hunter's hand gently squeezed hers. "It's possible Tarkin will come after you. If he knows you're Force-sensitive and wants you to fight for him, he'll try to catch you."
"He'll try to catch all of us," Tech pointed out with a dull edge to his voice.
"I hope he does," anger bled in Sarah's voice. "He better come for me, and he better bring Crosshair with him."
Silence fell on all of them as they watched Sarah, until she sighed and softened her hard eyes at them.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'll be fine, just... give me a bit of space, okay?"
Echo nodded at her and he began gesturing at the others to return to the cockpit. Before leaving, he briefly met Sarah's eyes with a sad look, and then Sarah was alone again.
She closed her eyes, breaking through her bitter anger to try and focus on her bond with Crosshair, trying to find him through the nothingness and the spiraling thoughts as her hands clutched the diamond, and after a while of darkness, she saw him.
He was walking, his back turned on her. He was hunched ever so slightly, but his posture straightened. Hesitant, Crosshair turned and looked behind him, being met with nothingness while Sarah saw his narrow, pained brown eyes.
And it was too much for her. Her eyes opened and her focus was broken, ridding her from the image of Crosshair. It was only then that she realized she didn't know when she would be able to see him again, if ever.
The tears finally rolled down her face again; she clutched every muscle in her body to keep herself from weeping loudly, as she begged herself to pull through that loss the way she had done the last time she lost someone.
And as if to seal all of their fates, the Marauder then jumped to hyperspace and left Kamino behind.
Taglist: @zoeykallus @sageislostinspring @misogirl828 @dangerousstrawberrypie @salaminus @ladykatakuri @whore4rex @morganlefaye13 @seriowan
Thank you for reading!
#moonstrider writes#the moonwalker series#tbb crosshair#the bad batch#crosshair#tbb crosshair fanfic#crosshair fanfic#crosshair x oc#hunter x oc#sergeant hunter#tbb hunter#bad batch hunter#bad batch crosshair#tbb angst#the bad batch angst
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Get this man medical attention and a hug
#commander cody#i wanted to draw something bloody but i made myself sad#i wouldve drawn obiwan but i already have so many angst wips for him#so i decided to inflict pain on his husband i mean commander#star wars fanart#my art#the bad batch#tbb cody#if something happens to him i will cry#cw blood#tw blood#sw tcw fanart#sw tcw#illustration#fanart#digital art#star wars
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"Twenty minutes later he’d made it back to his room with no memory of the journey and the taste of vomit stuck in the back of his throat.
No one asked what he’d done - it was an unspoken rule, never to ask - but Wrecker opened his arms and let Crosshair disappear into them without a word."
--Twelve Seconds by @eriexplosion
About a year or so ago I asked for fanfic submissions to be turned into comics! And this was one of them! I had actually started drawing this a year ago, but just now got around to finishing it!
It's a pretty heavy fic, but its short and really well written! Id suggest checking it out if your in angsty mood!
#the bad batch#fanart#tbb#star wars#art#tech#crosshair#wrecker#clone cadets#the baby batch#angst#fanfiction fanart#fan comic
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tw blood
// some ImperialCrosshair angst // this has been in my drafts forever! i thought about adding more but never got to it
#tbb#the bad batch#fanart#star wars#tbb crosshair#tbb tech#imperial crosshair#angst#tech will survive ><#cross is fighting his chip
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when I say I could write a ten page essay on the heartbreaking themes in this episode, i’m being completely serious.
crosshair refused to let mayday d!3, but it happened in front of his eyes anyway.
the way his voice sounds when he’s begging them to save him will literally make me sob for days.
#star wars#bad batch#the bad batch#star wars bad batch#star wars the bad batch#crosshair tbb#imperial crosshair#crosshair bad batch#bad batch crosshair#tbb crosshair#tbb#sw tbb#bad batch spoilers#bad batch season 2#clone trooper crosshair#clone troopers#clone wars#clone force 99#star wars angst#angst#im sobbing#this episode broke me
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Hello there!
Would you mind giving us something angsty? Like, Reader confesses her love to the batchers (and maybe Rex and Mayday?). They do feel the same, but they react in the wrong way somehow, so that reader gets hurt, but in the end there is something like a happy end? Like separate little short fics or one-shots.
I know that's probably a lot of work, so please don't feel pressured to do this.
Aloha!
Yeah, I think I can do that 😊
The Bad Batch/ Mayday/Rex x Reader Prompts – Confessions
Part 1/7 - Tech
Warnnings: Love Confessions/Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Fluff
Masterlist
Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)
AC: I tried to tackle this one with the thought in mind that Tech is/might be in some autistic spectrum. Now please don't throw any stones at me, I have no real life experience on that subject, so I kinda wrote this one the way I feel Tech after almost three season.
You've had feelings for him for a while now. Your heart beats faster, you feel warm when he approaches you and your eyes meet. You could listen to him day and night, no matter what he talks about. You think a part of him knows this, must know it, because when he discovers something new and wants to tell someone about it, he usually comes to you automatically. Because you listen to him attentively, every time.
Your feelings go beyond friendship, you long to be close to him, you miss him every second he's not around.
But you know Tech is somehow different. Sometimes he's very forthcoming, seems to enjoy being around you, but other times, he's more distant, almost as if he's trying to keep you at arm's length, as if he can't handle your presence right now. You have no idea how exactly to assess this behavior, it often feels like a roller coaster ride. It's not always easy to deal with and adjust to. But you want to do the right thing, so you don't push him when you realize he's pulling away, even if it hurts.
But one day, you summon up all your courage. Tech and you are working on damage to the outer hull of the Marauder. Until just now, he was telling you about his idea to improve the alloy for the metal of the outer hull and how he plans to make certain modifications to the ship in the future. Now, however, there is a brief pause, and you continue to work in silence.
Your gaze wanders thoughtfully from his helmet, which is resting on a toolbox behind him, back to him
Your heart is pounding in your throat, your hands are even shaking a little as you decide to finally tell him, to tell him how you feel about him.
"Tech?"
His name comes over your lips, almost like a whisper. He heard you, though. Normally he would answer you and listen without looking up from his work, but something about the way you say his name catches his attention this time. He pauses, turns his head in your direction and looks at you, his eyes widening a little.
"What's wrong?"
His gaze, those beautiful eyes, like dark brown amber. Your knees go weak. You try to hold his gaze, but every now and then, you blink and look to the side before looking at him again as you speak.
"There's something I need to tell you"
His brows move up questioningly.
"Is it something important?"
You hesitate for a second before saying, "I guess it's a matter of opinion. It's very important to me"
Surprised, you watch as Tech puts down his tools and turns to you.
"Then let me hear it," he says promptly.
Now you have his undivided attention. Your stomach is tingling, your heart is doing wild tricks in your chest. Your mouth goes dry, and you hastily reach for the water bottle to take a few sips.
As you put the bottle down, your hand trembles so much that you can barely put the bottle down properly. Tech doesn't miss this, of course, his brows draw together in concern, but he waits silently for you to tell him.
"I have feelings for you," you suddenly say so quickly, with a look on your face as if you were ripping off a band-aid.
Then you smile nervously, inwardly cursing at yourself.
He stands there, motionless, and looks at you. Occasionally he blinks. You don't know what you were expecting, but some kind of reaction would have been nice. You nervously hold your breath.
"Romantic?" he finally asks after what feels like an eternity.
You finally dare to breathe again. He sounds thoughtful, confused, maybe even overwhelmed, but you can't quite put your finger on it right now, your own thoughts and your heartbeat are so incredibly loud.
"Yes, Tech. You know, accelerated pulse when you're near me, tingly feeling in my stomach, the need to be close to you, to want to please you. Bittersweet nervousness..."
For a moment, he looks at you as if you have a rare disease that might be contagious, and your stomach tightens at the sight. You regret saying a single word.
"I'm not sure how to deal with this," he says thoughtfully, averting his eyes, "I can't... process"
You can't help but stare at him helplessly. You feel the blood drain from your face, and your whole body suddenly seems to become much heavier. You swallow and say in a helpless attempt to pretend everything is okay, "It's okay, Tech, we don't have to talk about it"
You turn back to your work, avert your gaze, and you miss Tech's confused, questioning look as he asks, "Don't we have to? You said it's important to you"
"No," you say and put the tool to work, "We don't have to, everything can just stay the way it was before"
He looks at you silently for a while longer, lost in his thoughts, before resuming his work.
_______
Over the next few days, you hardly speak a word, in fact you avoid him. You feel like an idiot, hurt and exposed. The thought that Tech knows about your feelings makes you feel like you're walking around naked and every one of his questioning, scrutinizing glances weighs heavily on you.
One evening, as you sit alone in the cockpit, you hear someone walk toward you, and by now you can already tell that Tech is approaching by the sound of his footsteps. You shrink into the co-pilot's seat and focus obsessively on the datapad in your hands.
As he says your name, your shoulders shrink down, you try to make yourself even smaller, you don't look up as you answer, "Yes?"
His voice sounds soft, but still in his very own matter-of-fact way, as he says, "A few days ago, when you told me about your feelings, you said we didn't have to talk about it and everything could be the same. But it's not. You're avoiding me, avoiding eye contact. I realized that my first reaction made you feel insecure, probably even gave you the wrong impression. I've come to the conclusion that nothing is the same as before and that there is a real need to talk about it"
You sigh softly and ask, "Is there something on your mind?"
Instead of answering, Tech leans down towards you. Surprised and a little startled, your eyes do wander in his direction. He kisses your cheek gently and chastely, then sits down in the pilot's seat.
Your fingers automatically move to the spot where his lips touched your cheek, leaving a soft, tingling sensation. You feel warm, but at the same time you are confused and can't help but stare at him questioningly.
"After some time to process what I've heard, said and felt, I've realized that these feelings are apparently mutual. I hope that's not a problem"
You blink several times and straighten up a little in your seat. A soft smile at the corners of your mouth.
"That's not a problem, Tech, not at all"
He nods, smiling.
"Good, so we can explore this new territory together, right?"
You resist the urge to fall around his neck, you know that Tech processes things differently, especially in the interpersonal sphere, that he takes longer and values physical contact very differently.
You nod, your smile a little wider.
"I'd love to, Tech," you say softly.
Your heart almost leaps out of your chest with joy as he reaches for your hand, tentatively at first, but eventually with gentle determination.
With a cautious smile, he says, "I hope you'll be patient with me"
You laugh softly, gently, and beam at him as you reply, "I have all the time in the world for you, Tech"
#star wars#tbb#the bad batch#clone force 99#sw tbb#tech#tbb tech#bad batch tech#clone trooper tech#clone trooper tech x reader#tbb tech x reader#tech bad batch#tech tbb#tech the bad batch#tech x reader#tech x you#tech tuesday#the bad batch tech#tbb x r#tbb x reader#clones x#clones x reader#hurt/comfort#angst#fanfiction
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Hey, what if that assassin clone(I legit thought he was Crosshair at first) wasn't doing that of his own choice and had some extreme conditioning to make him willing to do all that and commit suicide for it, like, Rex did say some of the problematic ones disappear instead of get killed, so, what if that's what happens to them.
And then my mind immediately went to Echo, he's more on his own now, less protected and with all that interfacing cybernetics, he could be easier to reprogram like this
You know where I'm going from here
He gets sent after bad batch and they have to fight him now and a, kill him themselved, b, let him commit suicide, or c, somehow get the suicide thing out and find a way to fix it.
AndAnd I just had a really sad scene play out in my head where Omega had to kill Echo cause he was about to kill all of them, or had, and she was the only one left standing and after she shot him he thanked her cause it's over and I legit cried.
The reprogam send after bb could also work with Crosshair or Cody, but yeah, my mind went to Echo.
Also anyone else keep thinking of cute purple cats with Riyo's new hairstyle? The little ponytail was like a tail and the other bits were cute ears. I also loved Omega's I'm gonna bite you face to rampart.
🤞Echo stays okay and the bad batch can all join up together and be a big happy family and no one fucking dies because nooooooo! Let there be some happiness in Star Wars, just 1 happy space fam, that's all I ask!
You're welcome for the new nightmares!
#The Bad Batch#Tbb#Bad Batch#tbb echo#Tbb Omega#tbb hunter#Tbb tech#Tbb Wrecker#Tbb rex#Tbb angst#Clones#Clone angst#Sad thoughts#I'm scared now#I don't trust Star Wars enough not to do this or something like it#I think I would die#You're welcome for the new fears#Riyo Chuchi#VJS
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enclosed intentions / crosshair gn!reader
pairing: crosshair x gn!reader (no y/n). reader has a nickname.
description: amid your growing feelings for the silver-haired sniper, you and crosshair are paired together on a mission that goes awry, which brings to light intentions you've been aching to know.
word count: 9,934 (pHEW!!)
warnings: near-death experience (everyone lives). landslide. heavy storms. enclosed spaces. minor injury. minor injury description. making out. light angst.
been wanting to write another crosshair fic for a while bc he's my GUY and i love him!!! season 3 is only fuelling the burning fire he stokes in my chest. i hope you enjoy this! strap in! it's a long one!
(sorry if there are any errors, i've edited this but it's so long it's entirely possible that i missed some <3)
also posted this on ao3. feedback is welcomed, reblogs are appreciated.
More often than not, Clone Force 99 was sent on dangerous missions – missions too specialised for the regular battalions and squads that filled the Grand Army of the Republic. The missions that troubled Jedi Generals regarding the potential loss of men. But Clone Force 99 and their specialised skills took on those missions with ease, enthusiasm even.
You were about to embark on another one of those missions.
When you’d first joined the GAR as a medic, you’d heard rumours about the squad of defective clones and their enhanced skills, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t impressed by their reportedly unbroken mission success.
When Echo walked into your medbay after he’d been rescued from Skako Minor and you were the first to check over him – making him feel comfortable after years of prodding and inhumane treatment – it only made sense for you to join the team as a field medic to continue to treat him and the other members of the squad.
Though they were initially dubious of the idea of a nat-born joining their ranks, they had always been a misfit crew – you were only another addition to that, and it wasn’t long before your presence with the squad felt like being at home.
You got on with each of the members well, even if they grumbled and complained about your regularly scheduled medical check-ups after missions.
Tech was a great help in collating the medical files he’d made from when he acted as the informal medic. You joked along with Wrecker, who often used you as an alternate barbell, lifting you over his head to warm up before a mission. Hunter often conferred with you before mission briefings to go over any hazards that could harm them. Echo was probably your strongest bond, the trust that existed between you both created a level of closeness not shared with the other members of the squad.
But Crosshair…
You’d soon discovered that Crosshair was weary of anyone who wasn’t part of his immediate family, and you joining Clone Force 99 – and in such constant close quarters, meant your relationship with the sharpshooter was a little more distant than the others.
You tried not to let it bother you so much, but it was hard when you were joking with Wrecker, and you could feel Crosshair’s discerning enhanced eyes on you. You often ignored his gaze as best you could, but sometimes you would look over at him, and hold his eyes for a moment before he got up and walked away.
You wish you knew what those looks meant. You would lay in your bunk at night, and think about it, trying to piece together any patterns and figure out why Crosshair’s eyes never seemed to truly leave you.
Despite the distance between you both, it didn’t deter your intrigue about him. There was something about him that drew your attentions towards him.
If you didn’t feel his eyes on you, your eyes would find him. He was so fascinating to watch. Everything he did, he did with purpose; intention. Nothing about Crosshair was insignificant. Every word, every gesture, every look held meaning. You liked trying to figure it out, but you had yet to decipher much of it – especially when it was directed at you. He was like a puzzle that didn’t want to be solved, hiding all his answers in disappearing ink, you had to hold him up to the light to try and unravel him. You wished he would let you, but his terse demeanour kept you at bay - not wanting to disturb what balance you had.
So you were content to watch him from a distance. He was methodical about everything. Cleaning his rifle the same way after every mission, never missing a step, always performing each of them in the same order. His armour went on the same way. You would watch how his toothpicks would always dangle from his lips as he cleaned his prized weapon, and you would almost be hypnotised by the way he moved the wooden stick between his teeth. You spent so much time staring at his mouth, that you could probably draw it from memory.
He was magnetising.
Whenever you needed to perform a medical check on him, you would do so quietly and draw it out, as if trying to soak up every moment of the closeness to him, catalogue it all.
When it came to checking his hands, you would gently hold them in your palms and gently massage the joints that could get cramped from holding the rifle tightly. You would check the nerves with a light prick on each fingertip and around the palm. Those examinations were so tense, his eyes on you the entire time watching your every move in the tiny medbay on the Marauder. You could barely focus in that room, there was nowhere to hide from his sharp eyes. And when you dared meet his gaze, his eyes would hold yours in a way that left you breathless and you were never able to look him in the eyes for very long. They’d look right into yours, an expression dancing in them you could never place.
But he never said anything to you – not unless you asked him a question about pain. But you’d think about each interaction for days afterwards.
Your silent exchanges filled your head at night, spilling over into your dreams. Dreams where those hands you’d just inspected in the waking world would be holding you tightly, that mouth you’d stared at brushing against your cheek and neck, whispering things you pretended not to remember once you woke. You’d wake up from those dreams confused, still feeling the ghost of his touches on you. It didn’t hit you until several dreams later that that initial intrigue had given way to feelings much deeper; to an intense crush that only seemed to build the longer you spent with Clone Force 99.
If anyone else noticed, they never said anything. You carried on as normal and hoped Hunter’s heightened senses didn’t pick up on the way your face heated or your heartbeat increased when Crosshair was near.
Except the silence between you broke a few days ago.
After the last mission, you were scheduled to do the weekly checks on the squad. You always left Crosshair until last, knowing he liked to clean his rifle as soon as the mission debrief was over. When you called him into the tiny room, he sat down on the bench, and you completed the first part of the check-up smoothly.
It was when you were massaging one of his hands, loosening the stiffness with your own fingers, that you felt his close around yours.
You had stilled and slowly looked up at him. His brown-eyed gaze met yours and you felt the air get sucked out of your lungs. You watched his eyes flick between yours, his throat working as his fingers were warm around yours. He was holding your hand, and it was warm and strong despite its slenderness. It was such an innocent gesture, and yet the sensation of his touch made your face burn and heat unfurl in your chest as your feelings for the sniper were unleashed in full force. You didn’t know what to do, but you would be lying if you didn’t like the feel of his fingers around yours. But this was Crosshair – the Crosshair who barely spoke to you, who watched you like he was analysing your every move.
“A-am I hurting you?” you managed to stammer out.
Crosshair blinked, seemingly jolting himself out of a trance and pulled his hands away roughly, frowning. “No.” His voice was like gravel, and he stood up and quickly left the room, check-up unfinished.
You had no idea what had happened, what you had done, what he had done, but you stood in that room trying to quell your racing heart for ages before you worked up the nerve to emerge. You spent that night thinking about the warmth of his fingers around yours and the way his throat bobbed like he wanted to tell you something.
What was it that he wanted to say? You knew Crosshair was always intentional in everything he did, so what was his intention with holding your hand like that?
Now, as the Marauder flew into a planet you couldn’t remember the name of, you felt those brown eyes on you from where Crosshair sat in one of the seats in the cockpit, his arms crossed and toothpick between his lips. Echo helped Tech guide the ship as Wrecker bench-pressed Gonky in the corridor. Hunter stood nearby as you held onto the back of Tech’s pilot seat as the ship flew into the planet’s atmosphere.
Since joining the squad a mere two months ago, you had been to more planets than you ever thought you would visit in your entire lifetime, but you had never seen anything like this.
The sky was full of enormous floating rocks, with thick greenery on top. You didn’t know how they stayed floating like this.
“This place is unbelievable,” you murmured. “How is this possible?”
“The rocks are held up by the planet’s unique gravity, creating a balanced pull that tethers the rock to its place. Think of them as miniature planets that exist within the atmosphere,” Tech explained.
You hummed in amazement as Tech flew past them all and steered towards the planet’s surface, which lay beneath a thick bank of dark clouds. The clouds gave way to rocky terrain, with a mountain range that jutted up from the ground haphazardly, not unlike their floating counterparts, as well as canyons and valleys. The whole planet seems to be rocks in various states. Tech landed the ship in a clear area and then everyone turned to Hunter.
“So, what’s the plan, Hunter?” Wrecker called out, finally giving Gonky a rest and placing him back on the ground.
Everyone gathered around a holomap Hunter had brought up. You felt Crosshair slide in next to you, his crossed arms grazing yours. Heat prickled your skin, the memory of the warmth of his fingers coming to life again, and you shifted slightly, drawing your arms closer to your body. You looked up at him but for once, his gaze wasn’t on you, but on the blue graphics in front of him. Your face burned. It was embarrassing how much of an effect he had on you, and even more so now after that moment in the medbay. He seemed to have completely forgotten about it, and here you were still having phantom feelings of the way his fingers wrapped around yours.
“We divide our squad,” Hunter begins. “Break off into pairs. The mineral we’ve been sent to recover is located across this entire sector, but according to Tech, not all of it will be viable.”
“There is a very narrow window in which the mineral is usable, and it will be difficult to find. But we will need to be cautious. The viable mineral is highly volatile when handled. And there’s an incoming storm headed this way, and due to the unique gravitational field on this planet, the storms here are quite lethal,” Tech tapped on his datapad.
You took a deep breath in. It appeared there was a lot that could go wrong.
Hunter nodded. “I can feel it. We’ll need to move fast, so let’s get going. Echo, you’re with me in the Badlands. Tech and Wrecker, you head west for the Valley. And that leaves Crosshair with N’edee up in the Mountains. Comm if you find any viable mineral and triangulate your position as best you can for reference before extracting as much as possible. Then head back to the Marauder where we’ll reconvene. Questions?”
Everyone shook their head. “The terrain is tough out there, so let’s try to avoid N’edee having to patch up any injuries,” Hunter added, sending you a smile. Everyone nodded before Hunter signalled everyone to move out.
N’edee was the little Mando’a nickname they’d appointed you. It meant ‘no bite’. After you’d first joined, you’d witnessed your first ever disagreement between Crosshair and Hunter and, not used to their scuffles yet, tried to mediate between them. They were so amused it stopped the argument and earned you the name – since you’d rather try to keep the peace instead of letting them fight it out.
Now, you knew better, but the name stuck. You wished you hated it, but Crosshair’s smirk as he called you it the first time was the first time he ever sort of smiled at you.
And the last.
The squad grabbed their gear, and you strapped your med pack to your back and holstered a blaster you barely ever used. You felt your whole body go into overdrive, not only because of the risk of the mission but also because you were paired off with Crosshair. The thought of being so close; just the two of you sent nerves running through you. If it was anyone else, you wouldn’t hesitate to ask what happened in the medbay, and try and sort it out and move forward, but you didn’t have that kind of closeness with Crosshair. There was no way you felt comfortable bringing up the way he held your hand – this was an important mission, and you didn’t want to risk ruining it by making Crosshair uncomfortable and clam up so tight you’d lose the modicum of trust you had.
Whenever intention he’d had, you weren’t destined to ever know what it was. So, you’d just have to take a page out of his book and pretend it never happened.
You made your way down the Marauder’s gangplank to find Crosshair waiting for you, helmet under his arm and holding the barrel of the sniper with his free hand as the hilt rested on the ground. He was the only one there, the others had already started their treks. You quickened your steps down as he looked over at you, heat blooming up your neck.
“Sorry,” you told him. Crosshair shook his head, either dismissing the apology or disappointed in your slowness to get ready – you couldn’t tell.
“Let’s go, the storm’s moving quickly,” he informed in that way of his. He placed his helmet on and started walking. You watched him walk away, not looking back at you as his long legs carried him quickly through the rocky ground in the direction of the mountain range.
“Try and keep up,” he called back, and you huffed, adjusting your med pack and jogging after him.
Crosshair kept a quick pace as you both walked, and his height didn’t help. The rhythmic beeping of the scanner Tech provided you with and your footsteps were the only sound between you both. You tried to keep up as best you could as you approached the base of the mountain range, but you were still lagging a couple of metres behind him.
You had been worried about the awkwardness a conversation about what happened in the medbay would bring, and yet you were not even close enough to have one.
You huffed, a light sheen of sweat covering your brow, as you stepped over a bunch of rocks, moving between them as best you could, looking down at your feet to ensure you didn’t fall. The weather was beginning to change, and you knew the storm was getting closer as the wind picked up and nearly knocked you off balance a few times. But you had still to find any viable mineral. You looked at the scanner and saw it was indeed picking up signs of the mineral, but none of it was suitable – either too old or too young a sample. You sighed. This was going to take longer than you thought, and you only hoped you had more luck once you reached the mountains, and that the storm would hold off.
“Watch your step,” Crosshair called back to you. You looked up to watch him as he stepped on a boulder and jumped down into what must’ve been a small ditch at the foot of the mountain range. You frowned and kept walking. As you got closer, you were surprised as you realised he was waiting for you. His helmet was trained on you as you reached the rock and you tried to pretend like it wasn’t a big deal to you. You stepped on top of the boulder, the wind whipping around you as his gaze tilted up at you. For once, you towered over him. You couldn’t help but smile playfully at him.
“So, this is what the world must look like for you,” you joked, trying to ease the tension that was still thick between you.
Crosshair let out a small scoff at your joke before holding out his hand. “Hurry up.”
You widened your eyes at his extended hand, your eyes flicking to it and then back to his visor. After the medbay, you hardly imagined he’d be offering a hand to you again in a clinical setting, let alone to help you descend a boulder. You looked at his outstretched hand, letting a moment pass as you waited for him to retract it, but he didn’t.
This gesture was intentional.
You slowly placed your hand in his. His hand was as warm and strong as it was several days ago, and the familiarity of it made your insides jolt as you felt it wrap around your palm. The nerve endings in your hand tingled in excitement as they ignited from his touch. Heat coiled its warmth through your whole body as you crouched down to a sitting position, doing your best not to topple over not only from the wind. He helped you slide off the edge down to where he was standing, his hand steadying you.
You wobbled on your feet slightly as you landed, and you looked up at him, wishing he wasn’t wearing his helmet right now so you could discern his steely gaze. Though you had a feeling his bare face still would not betray anything of what was going on in his head.
Was he acknowledging what happened? Or was he just being considerate of the terrain?
Before you could open your mouth with a ‘thank you’, he let go of your hand and started walking up a pathway that seemed to wind up the mountain.
You guessed it was not the former.
You took in a shaky breath, body tingling with the remnants of his touch as you felt its cold absence and started after him; scanner poised as you walked.
The pathway up the mountain was wide enough to walk on, but too narrow to walk side by side comfortably without worry of falling over the edge. So, you trailed behind Crosshair once again, who had now slowed down that the route had grown more precarious. You clenched your jaw as you followed his steps carefully, avoiding any loose rocks as you walked. You tried not to think about the increasing ascension of the mountain, the ground below getting smaller and smaller the higher you both trekked as you continued to scan the side of the mountain for any trace of a viable source of the mineral, but still, there was nothing.
The higher you moved the wind that whipped around both your bodies increased as the clouds rolled in. You had to move your hand alongside the mountain as you waked, too afraid you’d blow away as the gusts of wind threatened to knock you over.
You’d been walking for a few hours by now and with the weather getting worse, the constant pace was starting to wear on you; arms and legs sore and feet aching, face stinging. You looked out over the cliff and saw you were almost halfway up, and the sky was getting darker as the storm continued to draw closer. Every time you looked, it seemed to be moving towards you quicker, so as much as you wanted to stop and rest, you knew that you couldn’t – especially when you looked ahead at Crosshair and saw he didn’t seem to show any signs of exhaustion.
Though you knew clones had been engineered to withstand increased levels of physical exertion, you still felt inadequate not being able to keep up. Even after two months with the squad, you still weren’t used to the physicality of the missions. You weren’t initially trained as a field medic, but you still didn’t want to look like you couldn’t handle this simple mission – even if it was more gruelling than you anticipated. So, you gritted your teeth and kept walking, despite the way your body protested with each step.
Crosshair began to slow before he stopped and turned to look at you. “Picking up anything?”
You shook your head and hoped you didn’t sound as puffed out as you felt. “Nothing viable. Not even a false read.”
Crosshair grumbled. “Another wild bantha chase.”
You tried to sound upbeat, but you weren’t fooling anyone. “Maybe the others have had more luck?”
“Maybe,” Crosshair said, his helmeted face drifting from you to the sky. He removed his helmet and scowled as the storm drew closer and closer to your position on the mountain. It was close enough now that you began to see flashes of lightning strike within the clouds, and you jolted when a crack of thunder sounded like it was almost on top of you.
“The storm is too close,” he said, shaking his head in concern.
“I know. Should we head back to the Marauder?”
“There’s no time. We need a pickup,” Crosshair sighed and placed his helmet back on, pressing the side of his helmet. “Hunter, do you copy?”
You watched him, hand gripping the mountain as the wind grew stronger with each passing second. You were starting to feel spits of rain hit your skin as more thunder and lightning struck. Your body was shaking with exhaustion and all you wanted to do was lie down in a safe place and fall asleep.
“Wrecker? Do you copy? Tech? Echo? Hunter, are you there?” Crosshair spoke into his comm, his voice getting harder with every word. He let out a frustrated sigh.
“I can’t reach them. There’s too much atmospheric interference with the storm, maybe even the gravity too.”
You looked at him and tried not to sound panicked, but you knew your face betrayed you anyway. “What do we do?”
A crack of thunder sounded, and it was like the sky was splitting open. The mountain shook under your feet, and you fell to your knees, yelping. You felt Crosshair crouch next to you, a hand on your back to steady you. You looked up at him as the rain started to pelt down heavily on you both. You tried to shield your face, but the rain was so heavy it felt like knives cutting as it hit the skin of your face.
Crosshair hooked a hand under your arm and hauled you up. “We have to move.”
“We need to get off this mountain!” You shouted over the rain.
“We need to find shelter. Come on,” Crosshair skirted you in front of him and you both started to run up the path in the pouring rain. You held a hand against your brow to try and see, but the rain and wind intensified more than you thought possible, blurring your vision.
“Crosshair, I can’t—”
You slipped on a rock loosened by the wet ground. You cried out and fell forward, landing on your hands harshly. You felt your palms sting as you tried to get to your feet, but Crosshair slid his hands under your armpits and lifted you just as there was a flash of bright light, and the mountain shook again, this time more violently. It felt like the lightning had hit the mountain this time, and when you tried to look up to check, your worst fears were confirmed as the sound of rocks tumbling began to get louder over the heavy rain. Panic coursed through your veins.
“Go!” Crosshair yelled, hand steady on your arm as you both ran, him pulling you forward. You could feel rocks landing behind you and you tried to run faster, skin numb from the rain.
“There’s a cave up ahead! Hurry!” Crosshair shouted as he led you towards the mouth of the cave. Your thighs and calves burned, and Crosshair pulled you inside just as rocks fell and covered the entrance of the cave, trapping you both inside.
You fell to your knees, catching your breath as you looked around and realised how dark it was. You’re eyes hadn’t adjusted yet, so could barely see anything, but you heard Crosshair’s body hit the ground nearby as he sat down, grunting as he took his helmet off. His breath moved quickly too as you blinked and tried reaching out to see where he was.
“Crosshair?” you said, patting the hard ground next to you until you found his knee.
“I’m here,” he said, placing a hand over yours. You sucked in a breath as his fingers curled around yours. “You okay?” He asked, his voice raspy.
Your heartbeat which had only just started to slow, picked up again as he held your hand again. How many more times was this going to happen? Would you ever not freak out when he touched you now? Was that his intention?
You swallowed. “Yeah, I’m okay. Are you?”
You felt the muscles in his hand flex. “Yeah.”
You took in a shaky breath and let him hold your hand again, relishing in the feel of his fingers wrapped around yours for a moment, so warm and solid. The feel of his knee under your palm, a part of the body you had originally thought completely savoury until this very moment. After a moment too long of no sound except the roaring rain on the other side of the rock, you cleared your throat before you felt around you with your other hand. “I can’t see.”
“I can.”
You blushed profusely and hoped to the Force you didn’t look as bewildered as you felt. “Right. Of course.”
Crosshair slowly let go of your hand but made a point of keeping your empty palm on his knee, like he knew you needed to feel him close by.
The word intentional flashed in your mind.
Your stomach turned over at the gesture and you wiped your face with your other hand, shoulders beginning to shake. You heard Crosshair take off his pack and scramble through it, pulling out a small light that he usually placed on the end of his rifle. He clicked it on, and you shielded your eyes, before blinking your vision clear. Now you could see Crosshair’s face half illuminated, his brow was creased as he held out the light to you.
“Thanks,” you said, taking it from him. You pointed it around the cave and realised it was not so much a cave, but an oversized cavity in the side of the mountain. It wasn’t very deep, and it looked like its width was only a little bigger than Crosshair was tall. But it had saved your lives. You looked behind you, at the rocks that had fallen there.
“How are we going to get out of here?” you asked, running the light over the edge of the cave to see if there were any openings, but there were none substantial enough for you to try and get leverage to move the rocks that blocked you both in. Some rain fell through the cracks, the water landing on the rock as the storm carried on outside. That was good – at least you had some airflow.
“We need to wait for the storm to pass before we can see if comms will work to call the others,” Crosshair explained. “If we can’t contact them, we’ll have to wait for them to find us.”
The thought of being trapped in here for an undetermined amount of time made your heartbeat begin to race. “And if they can’t find us?”
“They will.” Crosshair’s conviction was comforting. You’d learnt that his belief in his brothers was unwavering, and never misplaced. If he believed that they would find them, then you did too.
You looked at him, careful not to shine the light in his sensitive eyes. His gaze was on you, and this might’ve been the first time you didn’t feel the need to avert your eyes. As intense as his gaze was, it was soft, and the brown of his eyes shined in the low light. Your hand was still on his knee and your eyes flicked down to it. You didn’t know if removing it would make it more awkward, or if leaving it there would. In the split-second moment, you were debating it in your head, with your body still shaking when Crosshair interrupted your thoughts.
“You’re shivering,” Crosshair said. “You need to get dry.”
You looked up at him and realised just how much you were shivering, now that the adrenaline had worn off. Your clothes were soaked through from the downpour, and the chill was sinking into your bones. You knew that if you didn’t get dry, you would get hypothermic.
You held out the light to Crosshair to take, which he did wordlessly. With shaky hands, you pulled your med pack off your back and placed it in front of you. Crosshair shined the light where you needed it as you searched through the items for a reflective blanket and when you found it, you pulled it out, the light bouncing off the shiny fabric. You looked at Crosshair, heat crawling up your neck.
“Um, I need to…”
Crosshair turned his head immediately but kept the light pointed in your direction. As quickly as you could, embarrassment flooding your trembling frame, you removed the layers of clothes you had on. You kept on the black GAR issue bodysuit you wore under all your clothes, even if it was slightly damp – you weren’t going to be completely bare with just a blanket between you and Crosshair. As you stripped everything off, you noticed the palms of your hands were grazed from the fall, and it hurt to move them as the skin stretched. You would deal with it once you weren’t shivering anymore, but the priority right now was to get warm.
Once you piled all your clothes together – there was no hope in everything drying whilst you were stuck in here, you pulled your knees to your chest and wrapped the reflective blanket around you tightly.
“Okay.” You said and Crosshair looked over and he squinted as the light bounced off the blanket, gaze searching your frame.
“What about your hands?”
“My hands?”
“You fell. I saw your palms are grazed.”
He was so perceptive, you wondered what else he saw that he never acknowledged. “I’ll patch them up after I stop shaking,” you told him, wrapping the blanket tighter.
Crosshair shook his head. “Aren’t you always telling us that injuries should be treated as soon as possible? Give me this—” he pulled the med pack in front of him and pointed the light inside.
“Crosshair—” You said as he dug around your pack, pulling out some antibac wipes and bacta patches. “You don’t have to. It’s not your job.”
Crosshair sent you a withering look before he placed the light between his teeth and gestured for you to show him your hands. You sighed and pulled your hands out of the blanket as best you could without it slipping off your shoulders. You turned your palms up, still slightly tremoring. They weren’t bleeding, but they were red and rubbed raw from the gravel you landed on. And they stung, but you were trying to be brave about it.
They were easily treatable, but your hands didn’t look pretty, that’s for sure.
Crosshair looked at them, adjusting the light in his mouth so they were completely illuminated before he shook his head with a frown, ripped open an antibac wipe, and cradled one of your hands in his.
He met your eyes, a silent question in their gentle expression as his hand was poised, wipe ready to be drawn across your palms. You’d never seen him look at you like this before; this softly. It was so easy for your crush to bloom when he looked at you like this. You looked into his brown-eyed gaze, cheeks heated, and you nodded.
Crosshair gently placed the wipe on your palms, and you sucked in a breath as it stung the exposed skin. You felt the hand that cradled yours tighten and then he slowly began to clean the wound. With his attention on your hand, you could watch him unabashedly. The roles between you had now reversed. He was treating your hands as attentively as you treated his. The way he held your hand in his large palm was so gentle that your heart fluttered. You could feel the heat permeate from under his gloves into your skin, and you felt your hand slowly begin to still, the warmth returning to you with his touch. You were so touched at the way he was doing this for you, without you even asking. The way he insisted upon it. You hadn’t expected it after the medbay, and you ignored the little voice in the back of your head that asked what his intention was and simply savoured this moment of kindness from the man you were hopelessly crushing on.
He was as methodical as he was when cleaning his rifle, wiping the wound on one hand in even strokes that coated all the raw skin twice before he moved to the other hand, a new wipe this time.
You watched the way the light was poised between his teeth, and when his eyes flicked to yours for a moment, you averted your gaze back to your hands reflexively. You heard him breathe out through his nose harshly as he discarded the wipe and grabbed a bacta patch, pressing it between his palms to warm the liquid. You watched him, your eyes meeting his tattooed gaze once again as your hands remained suspended between you.
You thought back to the medbay, at how his fingers had curled around yours so naturally like it was instinctual; at the way he pulled his hands away so quickly and so forcefully it was like your hands had been burnt; at how fast he’d left you standing there, reeling from his actions. You tried to think of what his intention had been, and what you had done that had made him retreat.
“I’m sorry…for the other day.” Your voice was quiet in the small space. The storm continued to rage outside, but there was no way he hadn’t heard you. Crosshair looked at you, knowing exactly what it was you were referring to, and placed the bacta patches in one hand before removing the light from his mouth to talk, confusion etched into his brow.
“Why?”
You brought your lips between your teeth as your eyes flicked between his. “Because I upset you.”
Crosshair looked at you for a moment, an undiscernible expression passed over his half-shadowed face as your eyes stayed locked on each other. What you would give to know what he was thinking, what thoughts swirled in his head. Two months of watching him had barely scratched the surface – you wanted to know everything, to be privy to the innermost workings of his mind.
Crosshair was the first to break his gaze, shaking his head.
“You didn’t upset me.”
You frowned at him, but before you could ask him what he meant, he had placed the end of the light back between his teeth and started applying the bacta patches to your palms, activating the adhesive and smoothing them down over your hands with his thumbs. He held one of your hands in both of his, his fingertips touching the back of your hand as he ran his thumbs along the edges of the bacta patch. He pressed them gently down, and you could already feel the bacta doing its job. He did the same thing to the other side.
You watched him and you realised you’d never felt so cared for before. Never had you been held so gently, treated with such practised methodical hands that were also so soft and caring. Your heart swelled.
He took the light out of his mouth. “Bandages?”
You cleared your throat. “They’re in the side pocket.”
Crosshair took some out and started wrapping your hands up so the bacta patch would be more secure. He was so good at this. With the light dangling from his teeth, he circled the bandage around one hand, before he tied it off and tucked the end, and then the same on the other side.
When he was done, he dropped his hands from yours and removed the light from his teeth for the final time.
You looked at your hands. You couldn’t have treated them better if you had done it yourself. You hadn’t even had to coach him through what to do, and that impressed you. It only made the warmth in your chest grow, that hopeless crush in full bloom and only growing more hopeless by the minute.
“Thank you,” you told him and pulled your hands back underneath the blanket.
Crosshair hummed and then placed the light up on its base between you both and leaned it against the rocks behind you, so the beam of light shined upwards and illuminated where you at. You watched him then sit back against the rock, stretching his long legs out in front of him and closing his eyes, sighing. You sat facing him and brought the blanket around you tighter. You no longer shivered, but you still wanted to be warmer than you were. You stared at the side of his face, Crosshair’s profile half-lit in the light. You gazed at the brown of his skin, the sliver of his hair, the slope of his nose, the purse of his lips. You noted the stubble lining his angled jawline, and wondered what it would feel like against your lips. He was beautiful.
“Crosshair?”
He only hummed again in response.
You tightened your hold on the blanket as you worked up the courage to ask the question that was burning inside you. You couldn’t sit here anymore and not know.
“If I didn’t upset you…what happened?”
Crosshair opened his eyes, but he didn’t speak straight away. It was like he was searching for the right words, the best way to explain what had happened. You waited patiently for him to answer, your anxiety only building in anticipation.
Crosshair scraped the sole of his foot on the floor of the cavity as he brought one of his knees to his chest, resting his elbow on it. You swore you saw the tips of his ears turn pink, but you weren’t sure in this light. “I…crossed a boundary, and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for acting the way I did.”
You blinked at him, confused. That was the last thing you expected him to say, especially his apology. “Boundary? What boundary?”
“Does it matter?” Crosshair grumbled, his voice scratching.
“It does to me,” you told him gently.
He turned quiet again. He avoided your eyes, instead choosing to focus on a spot on his knee, frown etching deeper into his brow. You wished he would look at you. All those times you caught him watching you, now you willed him to meet your gaze. If he looked at you, you would be able to tell him with your eyes that he could trust you with whatever it was he was having a hard time verbalising. That you wouldn’t judge him the way you knew so many people did. That you saw him, how underneath all that surly exterior was a kind heart who’d been wounded too many times. But he pointedly didn’t look at you, and all you wished to say would remain your secret.
Crosshair sighed, breaking the silence. “You’re our medic, that’s more important.”
That only puzzled you more. “More important than what?”
Quiet descended again, and after several moments, you tentatively reached out and placed a bandaged hand on his shoulder pauldron. His eyes darted to you, wide like they were before in that medbay, and he shrugged you off, his voice hard and frustrated, and his cheeks tinted pink.
“Just forget it. It won’t happen again.”
You watched him, and the way his hands were clenched on his knees. The way he wasn’t looking at you anymore. You recalled the panic in his eyes that you saw in the medbay when he allowed himself the comfort of holding your hand, and how he’d had that same expression just before. You thought back to all the times you caught him looking at you, the way his eyes never left you – even when it was just the two of you during check-ups. The way he brushed up next to you when standing in mission briefings. The way he didn’t hesitate to touch you when he was helping you or keeping you safe – because it was easier to hide behind those gestures than the curling of his fingers around yours alone in the medbay.
Intentional. Intentional. Intentional.
Oh. Oh.
You felt your heartbeat increase as heat rushed through your body, your stomach flipping over at the realisation. You bit the insides of your mouth to stop yourself from smiling before taking a breath. It all made sense now.
Crosshair wasn’t upset at you, he was embarrassed. The man who was so careful about everything he said and did, had one moment where he allowed himself to do something on a whim, and it had made him vulnerable. The impulse had revealed a secret part of himself he had always intended to keep hidden, and now it was out there, and he was embarrassed about it.
He was embarrassed because he thought you didn’t feel the same.
What a fool. A beautiful stupid fool.
Nerves rattled through your body, but you couldn’t sit here any longer and not let him know how you felt too. “Crosshair…” you said his name softly, barely above a whisper.
Crosshair didn’t move, his eyes stayed glued to the middle distance, his hands still clenched into fists. You let out a breath and held out your bandaged hands. At the movement in his periphery, his eyes slid towards your hands and then up to your face. You flexed your fingers, a silent signal to place his hands in yours. His mouth turned into a line and just when you thought he wouldn’t, he slowly placed one of his tight fists in your palms.
You cradled his hand, the back of it resting in your bandaged palm. As best you could with your other bandaged hand, you began to manually unfurl his fingers, spreading them out slowly against yours. He let you, his hand as pliable as it usually was when you did this – there was no apprehension in this moment, only trust. You began to slowly massage his hand, pressing and kneading the joints of his knuckles and the centre of his palm. Neither of you spoke, and the storm continued its fury on the other side of the rock, but it very well could’ve been a parsec away with how intimate this moment was. All you could focus on was him. You could feel him watching you, wondering what you were doing, but you didn’t let his intense gaze pull you away. Not anymore.
Once you reached the end of the massage, you slid your palm over his, fingers lined up. You moved your hand slowly like he was a baby tooka you had to coax into your lap, you were giving him time to pull away. You let your fingers fall between the gaps of his and then curled your fingers down, so you held his hand.
You felt him tense as he realised what was happening, and you looked at him, but his eyes were locked on your intertwined hands. You waited to see if he pulled away, but he didn’t. His hand stayed firmly in yours, his fingers still splayed out – but his palm stayed pressed into yours. You heard him take in a shaky breath as he finally looked at you.
His eyes had softened on the edges, but his shoulders were still tense, and he had an expression that looked like he was pleading with you; begging you not to play with him like this.
You wouldn’t dream of it.
“Is…is this the boundary?” you asked. You felt Crosshair shift, and his voice came out in a rasp and his ears were definitely pink in this dim light.
“Yes.”
You looked down at your intertwined hands and squeezed his gently. “And me being your medic is more important than this?”
His reply came a second and a half later, all strained and breathy. “Yes.”
You looked at him, his tattooed gaze boring into your face. Ever the perceptive one, you could see he was trying to figure out what you were doing, and why you were doing it. You offered him a smile as you gave him the answer.
“This…this isn’t a boundary for me. Me being your medic has never mattered when it comes to this with you, and never will.”
You watched his eyes widen minutely, and if you didn’t know his face so well, you wouldn’t have noticed anything. But other than that almost indiscernible change in expression, Crosshair remained unmoving, his shoulders still rigid and his fingers still splayed out, not touching the back of your hand.
You searched his face and suddenly felt like you had completely misjudged his actions. Maybe he didn’t have the same crush on you, you did him. Maybe he had just held your hand by mistake, that what you thought had all been intentional, wasn’t actually intentional at all.
Your face burned and embarrassment flooded your body. You started to pull your hand away from him.
“But if it’s a boundary for you—”
But Crosshair’s fingers came down before you could rip your hand away, and he held your hand to his tightly, stopping your palm from leaving his. His hold was secure, warm and purposeful. There was nothing to hide behind anymore.
“It’s not,” he told you, his voice as soft as you’d ever heard it. He looked at you, and he was more vulnerable than you’d ever seen him. You felt your heartbeat flutter. You knew this was hard for him, vulnerability of any kind wasn’t Crosshair’s comfort zone. You smiled at him as reassuringly as you could.
“Good.”
You felt his shoulders drop as his whole body relaxed. Your heart almost burst when you saw the corner of his mouth turn up at you – a smile that was yours and yours alone. You smiled at him, that warmth in your chest glowing brightly, making you feel so at home, you almost didn’t mind you were trapped in this space. You were with Crosshair, and that was enough.
You both sat there, holding hands in the torchlight. It was such an innocent kind of intimacy, but for you both, it held so much. So many unspoken feelings now known through the feel of your palms against each other. You never wanted to let go, and you suspected he didn’t either. You felt his finger muscles flex and you squeezed his hand. He lifted his thumb and placed it on top of yours, stroking it gently in a ministration so comforting you could’ve sobbed. You smiled at him, and he returned it.
A genuine Crosshair smile was a rare gift so few received. He kept them, saving them for the people he trusted and loved. To get one now, to see the corners of his eyes crinkle and the smile lines in his cheeks stretch in a closed-mouth smile, you felt honoured. You never imagined you would ever see Crosshair smile at you like this, to let you close like this – to let you close at all. The dim light of the cave had revealed the disappearing ink of his feelings, and it was extraordinary. You would tell him the full extent of what you felt for him in time, but for now, your feelings were wordlessly exchanged with just you two for witnesses.
You watched as Crosshair tentatively and wordlessly brought the back of your hand to his lips. With his tattooed gaze on you the whole time, he placed a lingering kiss there. You inhaled sharply at the gesture and the skin tingled under the bandage where he kissed you. The rain outside was heavy, but your heart felt light – like if you weren’t trapped in this space, you float away and join those rocks in the sky. You watched him pull away, brushing his lips on the spot for a moment before he let your hands drop between you.
“Was that okay?” he asked, his husky voice asked softly.
You chuckled, a grin stretching across your face. “Yes. More than okay.”
Crosshair hummed, his eyes smiling. “Good.”
The mountain shook again, and you looked around you frantically as dust from the cavity began to fall on you both. Crosshair pulled you against him, arms going around you as he shielded you to his chest. You held onto the edge of his chest plate so tight it dug into your fingers, your face pressed into his chest as he held you tightly. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to focus on the mixed smell of soap and wood of Crosshair instead of the panic that coursed through you. When the tremor stopped, you looked up at him, and him at you.
“You okay?” he asked
“Yeah,” you lifted your head but didn’t dare untangle yourself from Crosshair’s arms.
Crosshair adjusted the blanket on your shoulders, pulling it tighter around you. “The longer this storm goes on, the more danger we’re in.”
“Should we try the comms again?”
Crosshair let go of you briefly to grab his helmet and put it on. “Hunter, come in. Tech? Wrecker? Echo? Do you read?”
You waited. Crosshair’s arm tightened on you, but he let out a frustrated sigh and pulled the helmet off roughly, setting it down next to him. “Still nothing.”
You let your head rest on his shoulder as you sighed. “What do we do?”
“Wait.”
You groaned. Crosshair chuckled and you felt his hand run up and down your back soothingly. It was a simple gesture, but one that conveyed how much he cared for you. A man of few words, he let his actions show his feelings for you. And you had no doubts about it.
After a minute, you lifted your head to find him looking down at you intensely. You felt his arms tighten on you as this hand travelled down to your waist and stayed there. You blinked up at him, drawing your eyes across his face before they landed on his lips.
They had been so soft when they touched the back of your hand, what would they feel like pressed against your own? You’d dreamt about it, but you had a feeling that it would be nothing to the reality of it.
“N’edee?” His voice was quiet, but you feel the weight on them in your stomach.
“Hmm?” you hummed innocently, but there was nothing innocent about what was running through your mind right now.
“Can I test another boundary?” His tone was hesitant, careful as he leaned in a little closer to you.
Your voice came out in a whisper. “Which one?”
“This one.”
Crosshair slowly closed the distance between you and pressed his lips to yours. It was like your whole body lit up inside, igniting you so completely you were aware of every nerve ending you had. Your fingers tightened on his armour just as Crosshair languidly pulled away after too brief a moment. You stared at him, dazed with your mouth parted slightly, and in need of more.
“Well?” he asked, his voice like silk.
You were breathless. “Not a boundary. Kiss me as much as you like.”
“If you insist,” he smirked and pressed his lips to yours again.
Kissing Crosshair was an all-consuming kind of feeling. That magnetic pull he already had on you only seemed to intensify the minute his lips descended on yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he hoisted you onto his lap, your thighs falling on either side of his as you straddled him, and the blanket slipped off your shoulders – not that you needed it anymore with the heat that thrummed through you.
You melted into the kiss, and you were right – your dreams of his lips were nothing compared to the real thing. You felt the tickle of his breath on your cheek as you arched yourself closer to him. With just your body suit on, you could feel every hard ridge of his armour against you. His arms moved across your back, and you could feel his fingertips searing along your shoulder blades. His hot mouth moved against yours and you allowed yourself to nip at his lips. You felt him flinch before his lips stretched into a smile against yours, a chuckle vibrating his chest.
“Guess you do have some bite, N’edee,” he mumbled against your lips.
“Just for you,” you breathed, and he groaned into your mouth, kissing you deeper.
He was just as starved for you as you were for him, and you wondered how long exactly he’d been feeling like this towards you, but you’d ask such questions later. His mouth was heavenly, his lips like a caress against yours. Your lips parted and he took the chance to deepen the kiss as you dragged your hands up into his buzzed hair, feeling the short strands against your fingernails. And you felt just how skilled he was his tongue as it slid against yours, and you silently thanked his toothpicks for giving him the practice.
You’d never been kissed with such passion before, with such intention. Now, he was no longer embarrassed, he did not hold back his kisses and touches. That knowledge made it all the more thrilling as Crosshair pressed you into him, pulling your hips against his with hands that you knew to be tender, but now held with you with such desire you felt dizzy.
He moved his lips down your jawline to just below your ear, and you panted as you tightened your arms around him, rocking into him. He sucked the skin there, his tongue darting out and wetting the area. It made you moan so loudly you were glad no one else could hear how desperate you sounded.
“Crosshair,” you moaned.
You felt him smirk against your skin before he made his way back to your lips. Groaning into your mouth again, you felt his hands move from your hips to your ass and back up again, and you felt your body go into overdrive, pulsing with a wanting need. Where did he learn to kiss like this? You wanted to thank whatever Kaminaon training module taught him, or the illicit holos you knew Tech had stashed on the locked-down data drive you found a week after you joined them – whichever it was.
You were so lost in his kisses, the way they grew in fervour with each press against your skin, you almost didn’t hear the beeping of Crosshair’s comm in his helmet.
“Crosshair,” you said when you finally heard it, pulling away, but his mouth just found your neck instead. You patted his shoulder. “Crosshair, the comm.”
“What?” he said raggedly. His lips ceased their attentions, and he pulled back. His lips were all swollen and you smiled at the knowledge that was all you. You stayed perched in his lap and he grabbed his helmet and put it on. You could hear the other voice when you were this close to him.
“Crosshair, come in.” It was Hunter.
“Copy, Hunter,” Crosshair said, and you mentally applauded him for not sounding as breathless as you would’ve.
“Are you and N’edee okay?”
Crosshair’s hand squeezed your thigh, and you squirmed on top of him, smiling. “For the moment. We’re trapped on the mountain. The storm caused a cave-in, and we can't get out.”
“We’ll lock in on your signal and fly to your location. Stand by.” You realised then the rain and thunder had stopped, and that the storm had now passed.
“Copy,” Crosshair said before he removed his helmet and placed it next to him again, and you both looked at each other. He gripped your hips. “They’re on their way in the Marauder. Wrecker will be able to push the rocks out of the way, and we’ll be free.”
You breathed in, relieved help was coming. “I didn’t even realise the storm had passed,”
“Well, we were busy,” Crosshair snided.
“Right,” you laughed lightly.
Crosshair looked away from you for the first time since everything changed between you, and his hands on your hips loosened. You frowned as you watched his once open expression, slowly begin to close off again in the dim light. He looked uncertain, all in his own head again and you realised that he was worried – worried that this moment together was but a brief interlude in which you got caught up in the danger of the situation. You wanted to shake his shoulders and tell him he was being absurd, how he could think such a thing after all you just said and did. But you didn’t, because like baby tooka, Crosshair needed gentle reassurance; that his vulnerability and his feelings were not being played with.
Later, when you had more time and were back on the Marauder and tucked away in the medbay just the two of you again, you would tell him just how much he had nestled his way into your heart. That your crush was much more than that, that you saw all of him, and though you were still learning to decipher the riddles he was made of, you never wanted to stop. That you saw all his intentions, and now yours was to hold his heart in your bandaged hands the way he held yours.
But for now, in your final moments alone with him before his brothers rescued you both, you locked your eyes on him and gently grabbed the hands that had slackened on your hips, linking your fingers together once more. You watched his eyes find yours, his brows slanted at the ends as he looked at you with all this apprehension. You brought his knuckles to your lips and kissed them, lips lingering there as you let the gesture convey wordlessly your intention to keep nurturing what was between you for as long as he let you. That this didn’t end once you were both bathed in sunlight again.
“I hope we’ll be busy again later? And many laters after that too?”
Crosshair’s shoulder relaxed and you smiled as the corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk, his eyes smiling as he squeezed your hands once more. “Oh, I’m counting on it.”
banner art by @vimse
thank you reading!
if you made it this far, thank you! i appreciate it so much! this is the longest standalone fic i've ever written!
🏷️ @starrylothcat @sinfulsalutations @moodymisty @nahoney22 @freesia-writes @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @bobaprint @crosshairsnose @jesseeka @thegalaxys-edge @chopper-base @shredderwest @leavingkamino @r2d2staser @beckbucket @pb-jellybeans @mylifeisactuallyamess @padawancat97 @littlecrowtime @jedipoodoo @ezras-left-thumb @lovelycurls @fruitsaladtree @literallydontlook @burningfieldof-clover @queencousland101 @clonethirstingisreal @skellymom @hopelessromantic727
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#larissa writes#crosshair x reader#crosshair x reader fic#crosshair fluff#crosshair angst#soft crosshair#tbb x reader#the bad batch crosshair#tbb crosshair fic#the bad batch fic#bad batch crosshair x reader#tbb crosshair x you
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Nerves
Crosshair x F!Reader
Warnings: SMUT, angst, fluff, friends to lovers, soft and slightly ooc Crosshair (not much though, I think he really is a softy)
Word count: 2.7k
Summary: You'd been helping Crosshair work on his aim after his traumatic experience being held captive by the Empire. After not much progress, you get into a heated discussion when he tries to give up, which turns even more heated after he admits his feelings for you.
Read on AO3
“Try it again” You paced behind his stoic stance, doing your best to encourage him without showing any sign of your very present empathy. The slow-setting Pabu sun would still provide you both with another hour of visibility. The amber glow warmed your skin, which was a welcomed change of environment from being cramped on the ship for days on end.
“Why?” Crosshair growled, fueled by the burning rage built up by his defeat. The tremble in his fingertips broke your heart, but you could see that he’d made progress from the exercises. It was slow, sure, but there were definitely improvements. T
“Because I said so. You won’t make any progress if you don’t keep trying” You emphasized, doing your best not to express your impatience with his pessimism.
“It’s useless, Y/N” He lowered his blaster from his shaking hand and let it fall from his grasp before lowering himself to sit on the rock beneath him. You sighed, but this time your breath didn’t hold any frustration, only disappointment in his self-defeat. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what he’d been through, and you still didn’t know the extent of the torture he’d endured. Months had passed since he and Omega escaped. Omega had worked with him a few times, mostly with meditation, but you were better skilled with blasters and aim.
Crosshair held his head low, focusing his vision on the sand beneath his sore feet. You joined him without another word, sitting next to him on the rocks that scattered the shore. There were no words to comfort him in this moment, so you opted out of a conversation this time. The breeze from the ocean enveloped your frame, almost as if pushing you closer to Crosshair.
The seconds passed. Then minutes. All the while you soaked in each other’s company, for good or for bad. He was growing annoyed with you lately, despite being one of his closest friends, all because you were insistent upon helping to heal his trauma from his captivity with the Empire.
As the moments passed, Crosshair never tried to leave his spot next to you. He didn’t push you away this time. This, you decided, was an achievement.
The half-hidden sun drifted slowly below the horizon, replaced then by a casting a blue-toned light from the rising moon. It was peaceful, sitting together, communicating without saying a word.
“I’ll probably head back soon. We’ll try again tomorrow” You spoke gently when breaking the silence.
“I’m done” Crosshair spoke softly, his tone was firm and assured.
“Cross-” You sighed.
“I said I’m done” He reiterated, interrupting your plea.
“You’re just going to give up?” You scoffed.
“Seems so” He shrugged.
You crossed your arms to your chest and stood in front of him now, staring at him in disappointment.
“You can stand there all night if you’d like. I’m not changing my mind” He muttered, finally looking up to meet your gaze.
You pondered your next breath, but ultimately fell short on your words. With a subtle nod in his direction, you began walking away from your peaceful corner on the beach.
“I’m sorry for what they did to you, Crosshair. But you can’t punish yourself forever” You spoke calmly as the distance between you grew.
“What did you say?” He sneered, turning his body toward you, still sitting on the rock.
You froze in your tracks. You’d struck a nerve. Good.
“You heard me”
He slowly stood up and turned to you, “You think it’s my fault that I’m not improving?”
“You are improving, Crosshair. But, you’re giving up too easily”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about”
“I care about you, Crosshair. Believe it or not, I do. I know you’re not used to that but…you’re going to have to get used to it because I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not giving up on you”
His eyes grew subtly sorrowful as he stared into you, absorbing your words slowly. His head drifted from your gaze over to the open water that was now glistening in the moonlight.
“It's..my nerves” He said shamefully.
“Okay…” You tried to understand what he meant. Maybe you’d been pushing him too hard “Would it help if we took a break for a few d-”
“You. You make me…nervous” He admitted with a loud sigh trailing the end of his words like he had to force himself to say it.
As you pondered what he’d just said, your heart fluttered with unexpected excitement.
“What? How do I make you nervous?” You breathed out with what was almost a chuckle.
“Forget it” he scoffed, picking up his blaster and turning back toward the island, passing you in the process. You grab his arm to stop him. He doesn’t resist even though your gentle touch should not have stopped him in his tracks, but it did tonight.
“No. Tell me what you mean.” You demanded.
Crosshair contemplated it for a second before yanking his arm from your grasp, “You really want to know? Fine”.
He looked toward the island as if to check and make sure you were alone.
“I can’t…I can’t think around you. I can’t focus” He lowered his head,”I’ve tried to ignore how I feel around you, but it’s been just as useless as you training me”
For the first time in a long time, you were speechless. Crosshair was not a man of many words, nor was he one to express his feelings.
“Crosshair-” You tried to answer but he was uninterested in your counter argument. What he didn’t know was that there was no counter argument to be had.
“Don’t. Just don’t” He groaned.
“I love you” You hurriedly responded spitting it out like it was stuck on your tongue. You laid it all out plainly and simply. You loved him. You had for months.
Crosshair’s expression held a look of pure disbelief that quickly transformed to warmth and content.
Your longing gaze pierced through his tough exterior. Something ignited within you as a tension pulled you into him, leaving hardly any room between the two of you
“I…” You whispered softly, but lost yourself in his eyes.
Without another breath, Crosshair curled his finger beneath your chin, pulling your lips up to meet his.
Nothing this electrifying had ever grazed your skin before. His lips pressed passionately against yours as if he’d waited years to do this. You leaned into him, resting your hands on his shoulders as your mouths became intertwined so rhythmically.
Every fantasy you’d ever had of a moment like this that had always been shoved to the back of your mind came flooding back. Never did you think he’d feel the same way, but everything about his lips on yours just felt right. His finger beneath your chin trembled, and you were unsure how much it was from the overwhelming nerves of kissing you or the already present shake in his hands. You wrapped your hand around his, intertwining your fingers to calm him. The kiss was deep and raw, devouring each other as the motions intensified. A warmth spread through your body while your heart nearly lept from your chest.
Slowly and hesitantly, you pulled away from the kiss to look up into his uncertain gaze.
“You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that” He whispered, and a smile crept upon his face. Something rare and welcome that you never saw too often with him.
“Me too” You smiled back, holding his hands in yours.
You wasted no more time before pulling him for another kiss. It was heavy and breathless. Your hands wandered from his to the firm muscles on his chest. Crosshair let his hands wander, too, until they hovered gently above your breasts.
“Touch me” You breathed in between the motions of your lips.
Your permission was all he needed. His hands explored your body like he was lost in the dark. Like he was starving for you. The boulders on this corner area of the beach kept you hidden in your own oasis, with very little concern of being discovered. Your fingertips found the hem of his black shirt, and tugged at it gently.
“Here?” He pondered.
“Why not?” You smirked. He nodded and helped you remove his shirt, revealing his battle scars and perfectly carved muscle. You admired it, trailing your hands down his abdomen.
Conveniently, you had a blanket in your satchel that you brought with you. Crosshair rushed over to lay it out. He then took your hand in his and guided you to it.
“Lay down,” He instructed. As you did so, he hovered above you, his lips exploring your exposed neck and chest just above the neckline of your dress. You whimpered softly, unable to contain yourself even with the slightest of his touch.
His nervous touch was endearing as he traced up your thigh, searching for your most sensitive area. You shuffled your hips a bit, encouraging him to keep going
“Are you sure?” He asked, his brows furrowed. It was a look of longing, concern, and desperation all in one. Crosshair needed you, but wouldn’t dare touch you like this without assurance.
“Yes,” You breathed.
He pulled your panties down, and you lifted your hips to help him remove them completely.
He returned his fingers to your aching heat and discovered your arousal for him, which earned a small whimper from his lips. Crosshair knew exactly what he wanted to do to you. He’d surely thought about it enough in his head while he sat alone in his quarters, pumping himself to the fantasy of having you in his grasp like this. But, he was letting his nerves get the better of him now, and felt weary about how he’d perform for you.
“Cross, please” You begged with a tone of reassurance. His hand rested on your thigh, just beneath where you craved his touch.
You felt his hand tremble subtly against your skin.
“Hey,” You started, pulling his attention to you, “it's just me and you”
He nodded and kissed you hard, letting himself dive into you again, and found his fingers sliding through the wetness between your legs. He rubbed your clit in delicate circles and you bucked your hips up into his touch. He found a perfect rhythm and responded to your body’s signals as he felt them.
“Maker…You’re so wet for me” He muttered in total awe of the effect he’d had on you. Looking down to your exposed cunt as the bottom of your dress now rested against your abdomen. Suddenly his middle finger found its way to your entrance and slid inside, pumping slowly and pushing you to the edge while his thumb kept working at your clit.
Crosshair was propped on his side next to you, and instinctively ground his hips against your body, overcome with his desire to feel friction. He added another finger inside and fucked you as you rolled your hips into his hand. Each thrust of his curled digits grazed your most sensitive spot against your walls. A tingling sensation bundled and tightened in your lower belly, pushing you closer to your climax.
“Don’t stop” You begged, and he listened.
“Come for me, darling” He instructed, which sent chills down your body. Hearing him say something so arousing was unfamiliar but absolutely intoxicating.
With his lips at your neck and his fingers working eagerly inside of you, your release was so close now. Your senses were deliciously overwhelmed.
“Crosshair” You cried his name before rolling your eyes into the back of your head, seeing stars, overwhelmed with the pleasure that flowed through your body as your orgasm overcame you. Your hips rolled up into his body still hovered above you and your back arched in response to the sensational feeling radiating through you. Your fingers dug into his arm but he never slowed his pace. Crosshair was absolutely infatuated with watching you fall apart for him. You came down from your euphoric high slowly, catching your breath in the process.
“Are you alright?” He whispered. This was a side of him you never expected. You knew he could be caring and kind when he wanted to be, but seeing that translated to handling your body was a pleasant surprise. Your cunt hopelessly clenched around the emptiness as he removed his fingers.
“Never better. Now, please fuck me” You demanded, chuckling softly.
“Only because you asked so nicely,” He wasted not another moment before helping you lean up to remove your dress completely. Your breasts fell from the restraint of the fabric and caught his eye immediately. He took them into his hands massaging them gently before bringing his lips to your mounds and kissing them.
He pulled his pants down just enough to release his length that begged to be touched. You stared in awe of his size. You opened your legs slightly, allowing room for him to adjust himself in between your legs.
As he lined himself up with your entrance, he looked into your eyes and devoured you with a loving gaze. He kissed you softly before slowly sinking his cock into your wetness.
Crosshair choked on his next breath, your warmth encasing him perfectly as you took his length with ease. Once he bottomed out within you, he whimpered softly and buried his face into your neck. He was slow at first, allowing you to adjust to his size, which you probably needed as he was bigger than you expected.
“Fuck, Y/N” He cursed, overwhelmed by it all. To be able to take you like this, having you begging for his cock, you writhing beneath him…it was all wonderfully too much, and he loved it.
“Maker, it feels so good, Cross” You encouraged him. His cock stretched you open with each thrust as he picked up the pace. He fit inside you like you were made for each other, and you felt a closeness and intimacy you’d never experienced before. It was indescribable.
You held his face in your hands as he thrust into you faster and harder, holding his gaze while you both let profanities and cries of pleasure fly from your lips. If there was anyone nearby, they would have heard you, but it was a remote area, and you could feel safe. Each curl of his hips snapping into you sent your mind and body into a frenzy of pleasure.
“You take me so well, sweetheart” He praised, turning his attention to looking down where he disappeared inside of you. Crosshair was no virgin, but he’d never experienced such intimacy and passion for someone like he did for you in this moment. He wanted this for so long, same as you. The months of lingering glances at one another, your heart racing each time your skin grazed his on the ship, the way you’d cared for him since he’d escaped Tantiss. It was all leading up to this moment of pure desire for one another, and you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
“I won’t last much longer” He
You nodded to assure him it was okay. It was then that you felt another orgasm quickly creeping up on you. He could feel you tightening and knew you were close.
“Come on my cock, that’s it” He spoke softly, his words sending you over the edge.
It burst open, washing over your entire body, more captivating and intense than the first release. You dug your nails into the rigid muscles of his back, pulling him into you as he kept his pace. You cried out, feeling overtaken by the pleasure that electrified your entire body. His thrust began to falter and his body shook beneath your fingertips.
Crosshair’s moans were low and rough as he reached his climax, spilling his release deep inside you, his brows furrowed and face twisted in pleasure.
You both took time to catch your breath, soaking in the highs you were riding and taking in this feeling of closeness with one another. He was careful to remove himself from you, knowing you were both sensitive.
He lay beside you, wrapping his arms around your body and pulling you into him.
“I love you too” He said suddenly, confusing you for a moment, before realizing that he was finally responding to your declaration of love to him earlier.
You smiled up at him and laid your head onto his chest. As you listened to a combination of the gentle waves and the beating of his heart, you felt warm and loved for the first time in a long time.
#Crosshair#crosshair x reader#crosshair smut#fluff#angst#the bad batch#tbb#crosshair x f!reader#crosshair x you#reader insert#tbb fanfiction#bad batch#pabu#my work#stardust-kenobi
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Well I did my Outpost rewatch as mused and wow okay so right-handed Crosshair shoots Nolan left-handed, he fucked up his hand in the avalanche, huh?
#there goes my torture-drugs assumption and corresponding angst ahaha#and like. half of tumblr's theory about the toxin from 2.14#this is what I get for waiting until season 3 to get properly fixated#tbb#the bad batch#bad batch
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Hello love, I had a thought after the new episode about Crosshair x reader where she’s been with Hunter and wrecker trying to find Omega (and him) and when crosshair steps out of the ship she just runs to him <3 maybe it also includes them talking on the marauder after about what’s happened. I hope this sparks interest for you!! I love your writing :)
Forgiven
Crosshair x Reader
Summary- You reminisce on the first time Crosshair fought against you and his brothers. He thought you'd never forgive him, but he is surprised when you reunite.
A/N- So sorry this one took so long! I'm still sick but was determined to get this out! Thank you for requesting!! I hope you like it, please let me know if there is anything I can do to improve.
Word Count- 2,276
You remember the first time you realized you lost Crosshair to the Empire. The memory plagued your sleepless nights...
"I know what you're going to do, but please- don't." Omega begged Crosshair. You turned to listen to them, but couldn't figure out what she was talking about. What was he going to do? And how did Omega know about it?
"What do you know?" He remarked.
"I know you can't help it..." She rested a hand to his shoulder. The act warmed your heart, but anxiety rested in the deep pit of your stomach.
You couldn't place exactly why. I mean, you were all imprisoned. But, really, it was nothing the squad hadn't been in before. This was the kind of anxiety that rushed your veins. The kind that appears out of no where and strikes you.
At this feeling, you stood up to move and sit on Crosshairs right. He wasn't very affectionate in public, but you knew the proximity would ease your nerves.
Your hand gently ran down his arm as you sat, he straightened up at your touch. He was on edge as well.
The small gesture of him spreading his right leg slightly wider, to touch you, made you smile. Even in a cell, he could make you feel at home.
He didn't turn to look at you, but took your hand in his, holding it in his lap.
Just seconds later, a masked group of clones arrived.
"CT-9904, you're coming with us."
"Excuse me?" You stood, Hunter was quicker than you though.
"Oh no no, no. We stay together." The clone immediately rammed the butt of his gun into Hunter's stomach. He doubled over in pain.
"Stand down!" The clone yelled. You still advanced, determined to stick together.
A hand grabbed at your wrist. It was Crosshair, still looking down.
"Stop, you'll just get into more trouble." He then looked up at you. He stood, still holding onto you. Your breath hitched, scared for him. What would the Empire do to him?
"Wait!" You called out, he turned around just before stepping out of the cell.
You leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, somewhat of a 'goodbye.' You could see his face get visibly softer. You pulled him closer for a hug, your face in his neck. "Whatever happens, try to meet us at the Hangar..." You whispered. Only he heard.
He nodded his head at you, then turned to follow the clone. The jail wall went back up.
You watched him walk away, the clones right behind him. "He'll be okay. We'll find a way out." Hunter reassured, a hand on your shoulder.
He was right. You all did find a way out. In an attempt to retrieve everyone's armor, you all rushed to the Hangar. Just before putting your last arm piece on, you stopped. "Where's Crosshair! He should be back by now!" You had hoped he found a way to escape the clones that took him. Looking around again didn't help.
"Tech, power up the ship. The rest of us will go look for Crosshair." Hunter commanded.
No one had a chance to respond, the large doors of the cabin opened to reveal him. He was leading a large squad of troopers.
"Uhh, I don't think we'll have to go far..." Omega spoke.
Your breath hitched, but you weren't scared. Crosshair would never do anything to hurt you. Nor his brothers, right?
"Cross!" You went to meet him, you didn't care about the other clone troopers next to him.
However, Hunter blocked you with his body. You stopped, wary but trusting his extreme senses.
"Best stand down sergeant." Crosshair said, rifle at the ready. "Make it easy on yourself... And your team." He looked you in the eyes, then back to Hunter.
"Have you lost your mind!" Hunter interrogated.
The two of them argued back and forth, though neither side made an official attack.
You were so confused, why would Crosshair turn on everyone. Why would he turn on you? Tears prickled, you placed your helmet on so no one could see.
"Now surrender." Crosshair tried, deep down you didn't think he wanted to injure anyone.
Blast fired everywhere.
Omega covered her head- barred down. You rushed to her, giving her cover. Hunter joined your side, now he was guiding Omega back to the ship.
You, Wrecker, and Echo fought hard, which gave Hunter enough time to usher Omega safely to the ship.
Hunter barely had time to run back out, guns firing, when all the overhead lights went off. The storm outside did nothing to help the lighting.
You crouched down to collect your thoughts, looking through your visor you saw many heat signatures. It was hard to tell who was who, but identified Wrecker by his size and Echo by his arm.
You blasted at the on-coming troopers, distracted by a new wave of them coming in. Someone had called for backup.
A loud scream let you know Wrecker had been shot, you weren't close enough to help him. A glance back showed you Echo and Hunter pulling him to safety.
The second you turned back around the barrel of a gun was pointed at your head. A figure sat inches in front of you, also crouched down.
"Don't say a word." It was Crosshair...
You pushed your helmet off, suddenly desperate for some air. You stared at him with glossy eyes. He wouldn't really shoot you, would he?
"Follow them back to The Marauder. Do not tell a soul I let you." He commanded you, lowering his gun. Was he telling you to escape now?
"Cross, I don't-"
"It's not safe here. You have to run."
"Bu-"
"It is too late for me, but you need to go. Now." When you didn't get up, he raised his rifle at you.
"Go!"
You nodded, shoving your helmet over your head. You wasted no more time as you ran to the ship. Tech closed the ramp and door behind you.
The ship roared off, jumping into hyperspace immediately.
You were left dazed, confused, and heartbroken. How could you lose him so fast?
It had been a long time since you all had to run. Not a day, or night, went by that you didn't think about Crosshair. No matter what he thought about you- he was always going to be your true love.
You could only hope he still felt the same deep down.
While you secretly prayed that you'd run into him again, all your prayers were soon taken up. They shifted to be about Omegas safety, ever since she was physically taken from your arms on Ord Mantell.
They didn't stop until you, Hunter, and Wrecker received a coded message. It contained an abandoned planet's coordinates, sent by 'Lula.' You knew it was Omega, no one else knew about Wreckers (turned Omegas) stuffed doll.
Hunter couldn't fly the ship fast enough, you three soon arrived at the location.
At the sound of another ship landing, Wrecker went to see who it was. Just in case it was some kind of ambush.
Seconds later, you both heard giggles from Omega and laughter from Wrecker.
Hunter looked down at the floor, ashamed.
"Hunter, so see her." You said, resting a friendly hand on his knee.
He was silent for a moment, gaze still down. "What, what if she is ma-"
"Omega loves you, she's not mad at you for anything. Please go see your daughter." You smiled at your own words, and the fact that his face turned red.
He rose and walked out to see her. You followed behind, hugging Omega after she and Hunter had their moment.
"How... how did you escape?" Hunter asked, addressing the elephant in the room.
"I had help." Your smile dimmed, watching the empire ship door closely. A figure walked down, the second you copped a good look- you were running.
A gasp barely had time to leave your mouth, your feet hit the ground in quick strides. You didn't stop until you were met with his body.
He stumbled back, but caught you. Your arms immediately wrapped tightly around him. Like he was going to fade away.
You let out a single sob when his hand lifted to caress your hair, then back. "Cross..."
He didn't say a word, he just squeezed you tight. It told you all you needed to know.
In that moment you forgot all that he did. Heck, you didn't care about any of it. He was here, alive, safe, and not trying to attack anyone.
"I'm sorry.... I'm so, so sorry." He repeated himself, mumbling apologies over and over.
You pulled away, forcing his forehead down to touch yours. "Shut up." You silenced him with a kiss, your eyes closed.
It was an awkward few hours on The Marauder. Wrecker and Hunter were still wary on Crosshair. Truth be told, they had a right to be. Omega defended him when she could, but everyone needed to accept the change on their own time.
That Crosshair's days with the Empire was now in the past.
Omega soon fell asleep on Hunter, you could tell she needed a good nights sleep. One where she wasn't constantly looking over her shoulder, or scared someone would come in her sleeping quarters.
As Hunter put her to bed, Wrecker found himself on the verge of sleep too. He headed to one of the two cots hidden in the back.
"Hunter, go to bed." You gently suggested.
"You sure you'll be okay?" He eyed Crosshair, still not trusting.
"I'm a big girl Hunter. Plus, I don't think Cross would be dumb enough to go against all of us with no weapons." You tried to joke, but the tension was so thick you could cut it. Both men raised an eyebrow at you.
You sighed, "Go to bed. I'm fine, really." He nodded and headed off. That left you and Crosshair alone in the cockpit.
It was quiet for a minute, both of you were scared to speak first. It was all so... real, so serious all of a sudden.
"How bad was it?" You asked, turned away from him on purpose.
"Worse than you can imagine." He didn't mean to, but he broke your heart at his words.
You turned to face him, quickly taking note of how his hand shook. You looked from his hand to his face, he tried to hide it.
"Uhm, I guess i'll take the first watch if you want to get some rest." You were so uncomfortable. There was an unspoken thought dancing around the room. While you wanted to kiss and hold him, there was a weird air that surrounded you both. It made you question every move, like it was your first date all over again.
"Right..." Was all he could muster. He was terrified of saying the wrong thing.
He bit this fear back with his next words. "I wish, I wish I could go back. Do things... differently."
"I know. Me too." You tried to meet his gaze, but he stared at the wall.
You were tired of this. What happened to the two of you?
"Crosshair."
"Hmm?"
"What's wrong."
He stared.
"Cross, if you don't love me anymore just tell me. Don't beat around the bush."
This made him snap his head at you. "What? You have no idea what you're talking about."
"Really? Because after I kissed you, you haven't touched me! We used to tell each other everything, now we can't hold simple conversation! I Know a lot happened, I am so sorry you went through what you did. It shatters me just thinking about you getting hurt... but please, talk to me." You pleaded.
He grunted and sat up straight. "You deserve someone better! That's why. Because you shouldn't want to be with someone who turned on his brothers. Who abandoned his team. Who tried to kill the person he loved most. Maybe I should stop beating around the bush, you'll realize what I really am. Disposable."
You blinked up at him, heart beating fast. You didn't know what to say.
Crosshair 'humphed' and slouched back in his chair.
You rose to your feet, standing in front of him. You took his shaking hand in yours. "The man I love came back. He saved Omega. I know deep down you are the same Crosshair I fell in love with. The man that, even when controlled by an inhibitor chip, managed to let me run free. You could have killed me, that's what the chip told you to do... but, you didn't. Crosshair, I won't- I can't blame you for doing anything under the control of your chip."
"I did awful things after that chip was taken out..." He still thought he was unworthy, trying to make you agree.
"You can't push me away. You can't push away the people who love you." You still held his shaking hand in yours, raising your other to rest on his cheek.
"I forgive you... I truly do. I know it will be a long time until you forgive yourself, but I will be right here when you do. The guys will come around, just wait. I promise everything will be okay."
He closed his eyes, leaning into your palm. You moved down, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. At his, he rested his hands on your hips and pulled you to his lap.
You curled yourself up, finally feeling that warm comfort you always felt in him.
You kiss him again, slowly this time.
"I'll do better..." He croaked.
"I know you will."
A/N- Thank you so much for reading! I have fr been sick for a whole week, like give me a break, body! When I am feeling 100% I will come back and fix any grammatical errors. Thank you for your patience and understanding!
Tags- (lmk if you want to be tagged as well!) @thethreeeyed-raven @knight-of-flowerss
#star wars the bad batch#star wars#tbb#fem reader#fanfic#tbb x reader#clone force 99#bad batch#the bad batch#the bad batch fanfiction#crosshair x reader#crosshair x y/n#crosshair x you#tbb x you#Crosshair tbb x reader#tbb crosshair x reader#crosshair x fem!reader#established relationship#angst with a happy ending#happy ending#clone force 99 imagine#crosshair imagine#the bad batch x reader#the bad batch spoilers#spoilers#tbb spoilers
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