Stay Good Under Pressure: A Candlenights Exploration

Happy Candlenights, @yourbelgianthings! I'm your secret santa nyehehe. Hope you enjoy your hefty serving of Angus McDonald with a side of IPRE pain<3

This fic is loosely built around a line from the Mountain Goats' We Have Seen The Enemy (you know the one). I also tried to intersperse as much tmg as I could! (which ended up being not that much, sadly, but I think it hits) thank you for making me insane about this.

Word count: 3052

---

“Hey, guys, is something going on?”

Angus was sitting in the Director's office, on one of the seats across her desk, helping the reclaimer crew navigate the Millers’ rapidly crystalizing lab.

“Guys, is something wrong? I can't hear you anymore.”

It seemed yet another one of Lucas’s experiments was proving more trouble than it was worth. From the crackling, static-ridden other end, it seemed like they had angered a robot that was meant to be a learning tool for children — only the “artificial intelligence” had obviously gotten out of control. Lucretia could not believe this was the same man she had trusted with the safety of this entire world. With the safety of her family.

“I think there's something wrong with the stones!”

The line went quiet.

“Sirs?” Angus spoke into the stone of farspeech as he looked up at her, worry raw in his eyes the way only a kid’s can show.

Lucretia reached over the desk and took the stone from his hands, trying to channel brand new arcane power into it. “Boys? Is everything alright?”

Silence.

Continue reading on AO3

My conspiracy theory for the real reason Boyland died (may he rest in peace) is that his helmet was so smokey Kravitz mistook him for Merle and did the whole "try to convince you to make a bad decision so I can get you crystaled" thing to him.

This is backed up by (1) Merle's obscenely large bounty and Kravitz's single minded focus at catching him (meaning he might miss a couple details (such as it being the wrong dwarf altogether)), (2) the way they found Boyland crystalized before Merle lost his arm, and (3) by the way Boyland opened his helmet for a very dumb reason in the worst room possible. That's got divine interference written all over it baby

I will not be taking criticism at this time

griffin to clint at the beginning of the crystal kingdom arc: and you need-

clint: i don’t want bad burns

griffin: and you need those hands

me: 👀👀

Look every Arc of Balance is so so good but there is something about Crystal Kingdom that makes me go FERAL, like y'all probably knew that because of my username but FUCKING CHRIST-- Crystal Kingdom has a chokehold on me.

I have been re-listening to the entire campaign recently because 11th Hour is on the way and GOD. SO MUCH ABOUT CRYSTAL KINGDOM MAKES ME WANT TO CHEW ON A ROCK.

Taako literally gets to kiss death this is so unfair

Here in my crystal kingdom

AVERAGE ANGUS REACTION 🥰

Some costume designs for each arc.

taakitz for the nostalgia

Some watercolor marker TAZ bookmarks I made a long while ago. I realized I never posted them on here.

[ID: first image, six bookmarks featuring illustrations of the six TAZ balance arcs: here there be gerblins, murder on the Rockport limited, petals to the metal, crystal kingdom, eleventh hour, and the suffering game. The following images are closeups of the bookmarks. Second image, horizontal, showing taako from the back, jumping away from the back of the train and holding a box containing a glowing gold monocle. Third image, a shadowy hand reaching for the Phoenix gauntlet , which is wreathed in flames. Fourth image, Sloane as the raven shrouded in a column of vines and a storm, wearing the Gaia sash, looking up at her is Hurley in her Ram outfit surrounded by pink flowers . The fifth image, a robot is hanging suspended in a pink crystal, it has the transmutation stone in its hands, behind it is a portal to the astral plane full of ghostly silhouettes and glowing orbs. The sixth image shows Roswell the elemental (a suit of armour filled with mud with a red bird on their shoulder) underneath an arch that says refuge, above the arch the shoulders and arms of June are visible, holding the glowing and floating temporal chalice. The seventh image shows the black and white big top tent of the game, a crisscrossed colorful background, the arms of Edward and Lydia crossing over each other to cup around the Animus Bell, behind their hands is a red robe with glowing eyes. End ID]

5C for the expression meme if still playing. Any character, Artists choice.

You know he made this face when Taako ate Merle’s crystallized arm

[ID: a colored digital sketch of Kravitz from The Adventure Zone in a limited palette of black, purple, pink and white.

He’s a Black elf man with braided cornrows and a bun, faded sides and a small goatee. He’s wearing a black cloak with a crooked hood, like that of most interpretations of the grim reaper.

He’s staring blankly ahead with a deeply perturbed and almost offended expression, his eyes are wide and he’s grimacing. The background is pink. End ID]

i think one of the joys about taz balance is how Griffin could sow seeds early on in the campaign simply because he knew his family and he knew the decisions they’d make when given the opportunity. i always think about how it was Crystal Kingdom when Griffin knew that Clint would bite with the parlay system ARCS ahead of them!! he was confident enough to make a point of it!!!! i remember the first time i listened to taz and was so convinced they must have discussed things beforehand because there’s no way griffin could trust the boys to do what he needed them to do but no! he just knows them that well!

I was reminded of the fact that i made some Crystal Kingdom wallpapers years ago and wasnt super happy with them so i never posted them... Here they are, in all their imperfect glory!

Gerblins wallpapers | Rockport wallpapers

"What's bigger than this?"

Magnus reaches for his axe, and Taako draws his wand in the same instant. The elf aims, but doesn't fire. If Magnus is rushing in, he may as well see how it goes before wasting the spell slots.

The lich turns to face Taako, even as Magnus' blade flies towards him - and through him. His form wavers like smoke before snapping back into place, and again with the second swing.

Now, Railsplitter is an axe with magical properties, but it doesn't deal magical damage. And lots of things that resist a regular blade have a lot more trouble dealing with a proper magical blast.

Taako's wand is pointed at the lich's chest, a clear shot. The lich hasn't moved yet in these few precious seconds of combat, hasn't positioned himself like he's going to dodge or fight back. Just stares at Taako--

Taako, kill me, I'll remember if I'm--

The nausea doesn't have time to rise in Taako's head - the static doesn't have time to rise in his ears - because in the next instant, Magnus is moving forward. "Oh-ho-ho, I'm in a red robe!"

Taako shrugs like that solves it - like, guess he's incorporeal, too bad, can't hit, and stows his wand as the Red Robe rises to get out of Magnus' space, turning to face the three of them as a whole.

"Okay, excuse me..." What he'd give to see the expression on his-- nope, okay, that thought feels bad too.

"I spoke to you about the hunger of all living things."

Listen, I KNEW I was gonna cry during my first relisten of The Adventure Zone: Balance, but GOD I didn’t remember the Voidfish song happening so SOON—The Crystal Kingdom has always been my favorite arc and it makes me so emotional hearing the music again in context

I am going to be a hot mess for a while

I don't remember if I ever made a post about this, but for a long time I thought Griffin made up the whole clone pod thing to give Barry an excuse to get his body back again and then eventually also Magnus, and that that was a cool little world building thing. But I found out a while go that no, apparently it's a real spell called Clone from the Player's Handbook. 8th level necromancy wizard spell.

Also, it takes specifically 120 days for a body to form completely, which means that technically, Barry could have popped into his body again since before Petals lol

In the spell description, it also says that you can make the body younger, and I love the fact that he had that option but chose to keep himself the same age anyway

Also, since Magnus first gave Garfield his blood during the interlude before Crystal Kingdom, technically his body would have been ready since around the Eleventh Hour, and Garfield decided to just hold on to it for another few months without doing anything with it lmao

OH SHIT WAIT-

GRIFFIN THOUGHT MAGNUS WAS GOING TO TAKE THE CHALICE AND THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE DURING THE MISSION TO GET IT BACK FROM HIM

HE SPECIFICALLY MADE IT SO THAT IF HE DID DIE, MAGNUS' BODY WOULD HAVE BEEN READY TO GO THEN TOO

Man I love how that whole arc played out in canon, but I so wish we had gotten to know what would have happened if Magnus did take the Chalice and how that would have played out