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herbgerblin · 3 years

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WIP Ask Game of Shame — Please tell me more about your Royalty AU (Barry teaches Lup and Taako Common)!!

This got longer than I thought (words spoken seconds before disaster) But this is like, two of the meatier bits of the idea:

“Lucretia, do I need to beg. Is that what I have to do to get out of this? Beg?”

Lucretia looked only half apologetic. “Barry, there’s no way I can take over for you, and that’s it.”

When Barry agreed to teach the twin crowns of Twosun the distinct flavor of Common spoken in his land, so that the Kingdoms of Faerune and Twosun could come to some diplomatic agreements, he was not prepared for the emotional whirlwind it would put him through. Their arrival two months prior had been a source of celebration for all involved. A sign that peace would come to the strife-riddled lands.

But those two months seemed to entail only more strife for Barry himself. The princess called him a nerd the second she laid eyes on him, and it only got worse from there. She never did so in eyeshot, but he could hear her whisper in her brother's ear every time Barry would walk past them, either in the halls or at council. And she never referred to him directly by his given name. The moniker ‘Barry Bluejeans’ stuck to him so hard that even the Faeruni members of the High Council had adopted it.

The prince was no better, but at least he seemed more lax in his chidding. Taako, as he was known, hung far back in the council room, where he could pay as little attention as he wanted. The princess Lup however, was as involved as the prince was impartial. In royal affairs and in personal affairs. Barry swore that she was seeking him out to torment him, with how often they crossed paths on a given day. The only time he couldn't fumble his way out of running into her was when they had their lessons.

Those were a unique nightmare. From what Barry understood, the twins mostly spoke Elvish. So that was how he addressed them. But they also spoke another language that he wasnt familiar with. And he never missed the moments he said or did something, and the twins would look at each other, then pass a word or two that he didn't know. Barry didn't cosider himself a polyglot, but he had spent a few years studying in Twosun, and knew it wouldn't be too hard to bridge the Common spoken there with Faeruni Common. But being the odd one out in his own lessons felt rather unfair.

Not to mention, every time Lup's eyes fell on him, he felt his heart rate increase soundly. He was anxious on a good day, but downright panicky when it came to her. She was sharp and terrifying and inescapable. He probably had many reasons to dislike her, but that was a big part of the problem—He DID like her. A lot.

--------

Taako shook his head. “I’m gonna stay here and hang with my good pal Barold for a few minutes.”

Both Barry and Lup gave Taako odd looks, but Lup let her's slip off with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Suit yourself," she declared. She glanced at Barry, and he once again felt his face grown warm. Lup gave him a small curtsy, and said, "Until our next lesson."

"R-right," Barry stammered. "Good afternoon."

The door wasn't even shut a second behind her, before Taako sat up in his seat and clapped his hands together. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you, Bluejeans?”

“I’ve got what bad?” Barry asked, exhaling.

“It. For my sister. Lup.”

If Barry had been drinking a beverage in that moment, he’d be choking on it. He wasn’t, but the air he was breathing seemed to suffice. Taako gave him a few supportive claps on the back to break through the disbelieving cough that worked its way in Barry’s throat.

“You can’t be serious,” Barry managed to wheeze out.

“I’m about as serious as you are,” Taako replied. “Which, from my vantage point, seems to be a whole lot.”

“I’m not—”

“My elf eyes can see through bullshit, Barold,” Taako quipped. “I’m more than aware of when some poor schmuck has the hots for my sister.”

Barry wanted to jump out the window. He wanted to dig a deep grave out in the royal couryards and bury himself in it. “Taako, I’m just here to make sure the two of you get a conversational grasp on Common.”

Taako pinched the bridge of his nose. “My dude—be cool about this Barry—we’re both already fluent in Faeruni Common. We’re fluent in a whole mess of languages.”

“You...wha...?”

“Sitting in on those council sessions were boring as hell,” He said, in perfect Faeruni Common. Accentless, even. “Tutoring gave us a break for an hour and half. You didn't think we were going to let that go to waste, did you?"

Barry's chest suddenly felt very hollow. He asked, painfully, “So I....this was just to give you guys a break?”

Taako let some of the nonchalance fall from his face. He said, “Don’t feel bad, Barry. You’re a pretty good teacher. You managed to make these lessons interesting. Which is a hell of a lot more than I can say for the tutors we grew up with.”

“Thanks,” Barry said, not really feeling it. “But should I...how long is this going to go on?”

Taako groaned. “Until either of you boneheads get through each other's thick ass skulls. Why do you think she’s been flirting with you all the damn time?”

Against his will, Barry's face went tomato red. He clenched his jaw and insisted, “She’s not been flirting.”

“What do you call all the stupid questions she's been asking?" Taako asled. "Why do you thinking she's always getting you to sit beside her and check her writing?"

Barry could mentally conceed that Lup was the more inquiring of the two. Despite teasing him ceasely, there were moments when she could be very engaging, even funny. She inisted on copying Barry's speeches with a made up voice of her own. Taako would partake in the sheningans for a few minutes. But he was prone to boredom, and tuck his head in a book to ignore the other two for the rest of the lesson. Thinking on it, Barry realized that he spent a large portion of the time talking to Lup.

Barry muttered, “I’d hardly count that as flirting.”

“Gods, you Faeruni are all so square,” Taako said, which was funny to hear him say in Common. Elvish sounded so much more elegant in comparison. “She is, and I’m tired of watching it all get shot down so baldfacedly. As least give her the decency of being let down gently.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Barry said quietly.

“I know you wouldn’t,” Taako said. “Why do you think I’ve been putting up with this song and dance for so long without a word of shovel talk? I carry the sacred role of venting the losers and the bruisers. And you won't even fufilll your end of the bargain.”

Barry was tired of the goofs. He waved a dismissive hand and said, “Taako, I get that you’re defensive of your sister, and you have every right to be.”

Taako looked at Barry like he wanted to claw the latter’s eyes out. Barry ignored this. "I'm just here to make sure we reach peace.”

He stood up and started cleaning his desk, if only to give himself something to do with his hands. “You two can continue to hang out here during lesson time. I’ll think of something to tell the council. We’ll have to progress one way or another, but we can mutually make use of the free time.”

Taako let out a slow sigh, before hoisting himself to his own feet. “FINE. I guess. Not for lack of trying and all that biz.” Before twirling to exit the classroom, Taako gave Barry one last dubious look. “You’re really not going to tell the council on us?”

Barry shook his head. “Not as long as you don’t tell them I’ve also been using tutoring to get out of sessions.”

“Fuck yeah.”

#i may add more later if i think of anything else #lord willin and the creek don't rise as my momma would say #ask meme #my writing #askherbgerb #blupjeans #taz balance #the adventure zone #lup #barry blujeans #taako #lucretia

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phantasmagoric-acquaintance · 3 years

Text

who said anything about marriage

[read it here or on ao3]

Barry was nervous.

That was nothing new. Barry was nervous most of the time. But Barry hadn’t been nervous around Lup in decades.

There were so many things that could go wrong. For one, he could lose the ring. For the millionth time in the past half hour, he patted the outside of his jacket pocket. He felt the little box and exhaled quietly.

He could screw up the plan. They’d already made it to the restaurant on time, thank the Gods. But what if they missed the gondola ride? He’d booked the damned thing in advance, and if the rules he’d read online were any indication, the company didn’t give latecomers a whole lot of leeway. He could pop the question on the streets next to the canal, he supposed, but that was unromantic. Plus, he’d pre-paid so much for the ride.

And what if he fell? He’d made himself sick the night before reading articles about mistakes to avoid on a gondola. He knew not to try to stand, but what if he forgot? He could tip the boat and soak them both.

“Um, babe?”

Lup’s voice brought Barry out of his anxious reverie, and he remembered he’d been pouring a glass of wine, which was now very close to overflowing. “Aah!” He hastily righted the bottle, hitting the mouth against the overfilled glass in the process and very nearly knocking it over.

Lup snickered, eyes glinting with amusement. “You are a wreck,” she said as she lifted her own wine glass to her lips. There wasn’t a hint of malice in her voice or in her expression. Barry remembered that he’d probably embarrassed himself in front of her thousands of times, and she still loved him. As the waiter came by to take their orders, Barry felt himself relaxing.

That calm moment was short-lived.

When the waiter turned away from their table, Lup propped her elbows up on the table and rested her chin on her palms. “Hey, Bear?”

“Mm-hm?” Barry vocalized, sipping from his comically full wine glass.

“When are we gonna get married?”

Barry sputtered, spitting a little wine back into his glass and trying not to choke on the rest of it. “Huh?!?” Had she figured out his plan? She was clever, and he wasn’t the best at keeping secrets, but he thought he’d done a good job of keeping it from her. He’d known better, too, than to tell anyone expect Taako. Did she get it out of him?

She raised an eyebrow. “Well, don’t freak out or anything. It’s just, you know, we’ve been together for, like, I don’t know, an entire human lifespan?” She shifted her chin so that it rested only on her left palm and reached for her glass with her free hand. “I mean, we’re pretty much already married. I just thought, I dunno, maybe we should make it official.”

If Barry had been thinking, he might’ve told her “Yes! Gods, yes!” right then and there. He might’ve pulled out the ring and said, “Funny you should ask, I was thinking the same thing!” If he had been thinking, he might have realized that this moment, right here in the restaurant, was the perfect opportunity to do what he’d set out to do this evening.

But Barry wasn’t thinking. Barry was panicking.

“M-marriage? Who said anything about marriage?”

Lup set her left arm back down on the table. “Huh? Nobody said anything about it. Or, I guess I did.” She looked down at her glass and swirled it around a bit. “Geez, Barry, I wouldn’t have brought it up if I knew it’d make you all, like, panicky and sweaty and shit.”

“I-I’m not panicky and sweaty.” He was very obviously both of these things. It was this moment that the waiter came by, awkwardly setting their plates in front of them and hurrying off, sensing that whatever was happening here, it was definitely not something he wanted to be privy to any longer than necessary. “Y-you just caught me off guard, that’s all. Marriage is, you know, a big word.”

“Well, sure.” Lup picked up a fork and began swirling it in her pasta. “But, like, haven’t you thought about it before?” She lifted the fork to her mouth.

“Thought about marrying you?” Barry was drenched in sweat now.

“Mm-hm,” Lup managed through a mouthful of linguini.

“Well, no, I mean, why would I?”

This was absolutely, positively, the wrong thing to say. It might have been the worst possible thing Barry could’ve said, and he’d said it, and he couldn't take it back.

Lup swallowed her food hard and gaped at him. “Fucking excuse me?”

“Uhh…” He took a long sip of his wine.

“What do you mean, ‘Why would I?’?”

The pressure was on now, and Barry tended to falter under pressure. “I just, I mean, marriage is, it’s such a long-term commitment, you know? It, uh, ties you down and stuff.”

Lup’s eyes went even wider. “Barry, what are you trying to say?” she asked softly.

Barry threw his hands up. “Nothing! I- nothing! Just, you’re such a, a free spirit, I, uh, wouldn’t wanna… hold you back?”

She deflated, and he knew he’d dug himself deeper. “Yeah, okay.” She put her elbow back on the table, making a fist with her left hand and resting her cheekbone on her knuckles, and looked down at her plate.

Silence. Barry cut off a bit of his salmon and ate it. “Mmm!” he hummed exaggeratedly. “The salmon is amazing! How’s your food?”

Lup pushed her noodles around on her plate, not looking up. “It’s fine. Fantastic.”

They stayed like that for a while, him slowly eating his food and watching her, her only taking small occasional bites and refusing to look anywhere but her plate.

“Um, are… are you ready for the check?” Barry asked after some time.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Whenever.” Lup stood. “Just, like, excuse me for a minute first.” She walked quickly towards the restroom.

When the door closed behind her, Barry sighed and sunk his face into his hands. He didn’t have the slightest idea how he was going to recover. “Fuck,” he breathed into his hands.

After a minute, Barry heard the sound of footsteps, distinct from the clicking of Lup’s heels, approach the table. “Barold.”

He lifted his head to see Taako, still in his full chef’s uniform, glaring at him, arms crossed. Fuck, he was really in trouble now. “Hi, Taako.” In retrospect, maybe it was a mistake to have this dinner at Lup’s brother’s restaurant. It had seemed like a sweet idea at the time. Taako had only recently gotten comfortable cooking for large crowds again, and he and Lup made efforts to support him when they could.

Taako leveled a glare at Barry. “One of my little birdies has just informed me that she saw my sister run crying into the bathroom. Would you, dear customer, mind telling me why that is?”

Barry exhaled, long and slow. “I beefed it, Taako.”

“You beefed it? What does that mean, exactly?”

“Okay, she brought up marriage out of nowhere and it threw me off and I didn’t want to spoil the proposal and I panicked and maybe I said some things I didn’t mean.”

“Such as…?”

“Such as… ‘I’ve never thought about marrying you,’ and ‘Marriage ties people down’…”

“Oh, good Gods. All because you didn’t wanna spoil some dumb overly romantic surprise?”

Barry flushed. “Well, when you put it like that…”

Taako pinched the bridge of his nose. “Barry, I don’t know how you’re going to do it, but if you know what’s good for you, you’re going to have this fixed by the end of tonight.”

Barry grimaced. “I-I’ll try.”

“You’ve also wasted my food.” Taako nodded at Lup’s mostly-untouched plate and tossed a leather check holder onto the table. “And if I find any fire damage in my bathroom, I’m charging you for that, too.” With that, Taako turned and strode back into the kitchen.

By the time Lup came out of the bathroom, Barry’s credit card had already been returned to him and he was signing the receipt. He looked up at her and tried not to wince when he noticed the mascara tracks marking paths down her cheeks from her puffy eyes. “Ready to go?”

“Mm.” She still wouldn’t look at him. He led her outside, and she leaned against the building, hugging herself and staring into space, eyes unfocused.

Barry stood next to her uneasily. “Uh, I’m going to… call the taxi now?”

“Mm-hm.”

Barry didn’t reach for his phone. Another uncomfortable silence passed.

Then, he sighed. “Okay, I-I didn’t wanna do it like this, but…”

Barry knelt down, pulled the ring box out of his pocket, and flipped it open.

Lup finally turned to face him now, stunned. “Wh-what-?”

He blushed and began rambling. “I had this whole evening planned, and there was supposed to be a gondola ride, that’s where we were supposed to go next, and I was going to ask you there, but then you brought up marriage and I panicked and I put my fucking foot in my mouth. It was so dumb, I’m so sorry I said all that shit, I didn’t mean any of it, I just really wanted it to be a surprise. Gods, I was so fucking dumb, of course I wanna marry you, if you’ll still have m-“

Lup bent down, grabbed Barry’s face, and kissed him hard.

Barry felt all the tension in his body melt away. He shut the ring box and held it securely in one hand. He brought the other up to sweep Lup’s hair behind her ear and held it there, against her cheek.

When Lup pulled away, she rested her forehead against his. “You’re a fucking wreck, baby.”

He chuckled. She was crying again and, Barry realized, so was he. “I know.”

She beamed. “We’ll work on it together, fiancé.” She gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I can’t believe you did all that for a fucking gondola ride, though. I mean, no offense, dear, but I’m kinda glad we didn’t do that.”

He grimaced. “Well, about that, I paid a lot of money for it, and there’s still time…”

Lup pouted. “Do we have to? I’d rather go home.” She kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’ll make it up to you,” she breathed.

Barry smiled. “Yeah, okay. You’ve convinced me.”

“Perfect!” Lup stood up, smirked, and held out her left hand. “Now gimme that rock!”

Taako lifted his phone off the bedside table and squinted at his notifications.

Lulu: Missed Call

Lulu: Voicemail

Remembering the scene at his restaurant the night before, he inhaled sharply and unlocked his phone. There are two ways that situation could’ve played out, he thought. He navigated to his voicemailbox and pressed play on the most recent message.

“Ugh, it’s so annoying how you’re never awake when I have news. I have big fucking news, by the way, so I’m gonna be really pissed at you if you don’t call me back within the next, like, two hours. Okay, later.”

Taako smiled. It was a relief to hear her sound so chipper. It meant this news of hers was definitely good, and it meant that Taako didn’t have to fight Barold. He sat up, rubbed the dust out of his eyes, and called his sister.

#taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #the adventure zone balance #blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #lup taaco #this is a couple months old but I really liked it at the time i wrote it #i hope its still good im kinda scared to think about it too hard #reese inspired me to write this in the first place i remember #i think she asked me a very simple like ''how would they get engaged after s&s do you think'' and i wrote her like a paragraph

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lilblog-asatreat · 3 years

Text

#5 from this prompt list: "Let me bandage you up."

"Fucking hell!" Lup shouts to the heavens.

"I told you there was a ditch nearby," Merle says blandly.

"This isn't a ditch, Merle. This is a giant fucking crevice in the earth that just broke my fucking leg!"

Needless to say, Lup and Merle's forest expedition wasn't exactly going to plan. Their entire team split off into pairs to explore in search for the Light, (with the exception of Taako who wanted to stay behind on the ship), and so far Lup and Merle had to swim through a raging flooded river, fight off two chimeras, break their way through a giant "haunted" bramble patch which turned out to be hiding a small community of very hostile gnomes, and get so hopelessly turned around and lost that their hope of ever finding their way back to the Starblaster was getting slimmer and slimmer.

Their latest misadventure involved Merle scouting slightly ahead, warning her of a well hidden "ditch", and failing to mention it was actually a drop off to an eight foot deep hole, which tripped her and made her land with her full weight on her right leg while it was bent at a weird angle.

"Alright, I'm coming down, just give me a moment." Merle readjusts his backpack and starts carefully picking his way down the side. When he finally makes it to Lup's side, she's leaning up against the wall with her head pressed back against it, eyes squinted shut in pain. Merle takes out his holy symbol and mutters a prayer while moving it slowly over her leg.

Nothing happens.

"Shit!" Merle grumbles.

Lup opens up one eye to look at him and grimaces. "You don't have anymore-"

"Spell slots, no I don't."

"Oooffff fucking course." She closes her eye again and focuses on breathing.

Merle takes off his backpack and rummages around in it. "Luckily I brought more medical supplies than just me and my holy powers. Do you see any good sized branches near us?"

Lup opens her eyes again to look around. "There might be some branches over there." She points to the opposite side of the hole where the branches of a fallen tree lay against a slightly gentler slope back upward and out of the pit.

Merle takes a roll of bandages out and sets it on top of his bag before pulling out Lil Choppy and setting to work on getting branches that are viable for setting her broken leg.

After a few minutes of silence, save for the hacking of the hand ax, Lup asks, "So uh, do you think the others were able to find the Light?"

Merle takes a beat to wipe some sweat from his forehead. "Maybe. At the very least, they're probably having more luck than we are just trying to get around this place."

Lup gives a pained laugh as Merle goes back to hacking at branches. When he's gotten a few he's satisfied will get the job done, he moves back over to Lup and sets them down beside her leg. "Now, let me bandage you up."

Lup cries out in pain as Merle moves her leg in position and begins wrapping the bandages around it and the branches supporting it. He mumbles an apology but keeps going. After he's finished, he scoots up against the wall next to his friend and sighs. "So uh... how are we going to get out of this one?"

"I don't know," Lup sighs. "I can cast a spell that could levitate me, and you'd be able to pull me around without having to worry about putting weight on my leg, but uh that only lasts for ten minutes, and we still don't know where the Starblaster is. Not to mention, I... don't know if I have spell slots to cast that right now, now that I think about it."

They're both quiet for a beat. Then Merle laughs a little. "Well, at least if we die out here, we'll come back next year, right?"

Lup bites her lip. "Mmhmm?"

Merle looks over at her and quirks an eyebrow. "You don't sound very convinced."

"Well," Lup begins slowly, "yes, we will come back... at least, I'm 85% sure we'll come back..." She trails off and looks at him sheepishly.

Merle stares at her. "You're only 85% sure? You and Barry spent an entire year testing this theory! You told us we'd be alright!"

"There's always room for error in science and arcane studies, and we always have to take that into account. But 85% is a solid B, so we're pretty sure we'll all be fine. Sure enough to reassure everyone else at least." Lup explains defensively.

"What about the other 15%?" Merle asks incredulously. "That's a huge percentage of uncertainty!"

"Try not to think about it," Lup waves him off.

"Try not to-"

"Look, we'd be more sure if we actually had a chance to really test it, but it's only been four years, and so far the only time someone's actually died was Magnus back in year one. The fact that you and Magnus go back to having the same injuries as the ones you had when we first left is key evidence to support our theory that we just go back to our recorded state, but until someone else dies and comes back to life, there's only so many experiments we can do to try and replicate the real deal."

"So now the scientist has become the lab rat and dragged me along with you." Merle crosses his arms.

"Arcanist, for one," Lup says hotly, "I'm not that big of a nerd, and for two, technically Davenport dragged you into this because he's the one who paired you with me. And I'm so sorry that being paired with me was such a disastrous choice for you."

"That's not what I meant," Merle says, but Lup crosses her arms and looks away from him.

He sighs and digs through his bag again. It takes a minute, but he finally pulls out his prize, a little baggie of baby carrots that he swiped from the kitchen before they left. He crunches on one before silently offering Lup another one. She looks over for a second and rolls her eyes in annoyance but accepts the offering anyway.

"There's got to be a way out of this situation," Merle says after a while of chewing on carrots. "Maybe I can go back to the gnome village and see if I can get a healing potion or at least a way of contacting the ship."

Lup snorts. "They'll just run you out of town again. I don't know if you remember, but they weren't keen on listening to us last time, and I doubt they'd be too impressed with us now that we've accidentally burned down a few of their buildings."

"Not our fault they kept attacking us," Merle shrugs. "But I'm sure I can sneak past the guards, find their apothecary, and steal whatever we need to get you on your feet again."

Lup laughs. "In that armor? Merle, you are the single loudest dwarf I have ever met!"

Merle chuckles despite being mildly annoyed. "I mean, do you have any other ideas?"

Lup's smile fades a little. "I mean... I could send up a flare and hope Taako sees it? Prestidigitation is a cantrip, so I can just keep burning that until someone finds us."

"If they ever find us."

Lup grabs another carrot and chews on it contemplativly. "You know, I woke up today ready to take on anything and find the Light, but now all I want to do is be with my brother and complain to him how shitty our day has been while he makes me tea and jokes about it to make me feel better. It's... been a while since we've done that. We spend so much time researching and working and being too exhausted to do little more than sleep that we haven't just sat down to hang out and complain about just how shitty this all is."

"Well, I'm not Taako," Merle begins carefully, "but I'm still your friend, and I'm still here for you. You can complain to me all you want, and right now I can't offer you tea, but I do have some jerky once we run out of baby carrots."

Lup looks over at him and smiles. "Thanks, Merle," she says quietly.

Merle nods, and the two of them spend the rest of the late afternoon talking about the past four years and how much they miss home. When night begins to fall, Lup starts shooting sparks into the air, and the contrast of the bright colors against the darkening sky does catch the attention of one extremely worried elf. He sighs in relief and directs his captain to sail the ship westward toward the colors of hope.

#taz #taz balance #taz fanfic #lup #merle highchurch #taz lup #stolen century #written works of Gab

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patriciasage · 3 years

Text

Trust

Author: Patricia_Sage

Fandom: The Adventure Zone - Balance

Summary:

Magnus gives Taako a cane for his birthday.

posted in full under the break but you can find me on A03!!

Magnus gives Taako a cane for his birthday.

The fighter smiles. “Hey, what’s a wizard without a staff?” A staff…right. “People are so used to seeing you with the umbrella but since that’s, uh, broken now, you looked like you needed an accessory.”

It’s beautiful. Magnus clearly spent a lot of time on it. The staff is curved and ornate, the colour of the midnight sky, with gems set deeply in the wood like stars. A fist-sized, purple orb is nestled in the top, surrounded by delicate, wooden tendrils. Taako experimentally sends a jolt of magic through the staff and the orb glows a faint gold.

But Taako can tell by how sturdy it is that it was meant for more than just looking badass and casting spells. It’s the perfect height to lean on casually, to use as a walking stick dramatically. And Taako knows that Magnus sees right through him.

Ever since Wonderland, since Taako’s body got crushed by a washing machine and he almost died, the wizard has felt a pain deep in his bones that Merle was unable to heal. If he stands or walks for too long, it flares up in his joints and he needs to rest. Taako has been hiding it from the others, playing it off as if he’s just a lazy, lounging wizard when he needs a break. “Taako’s good out here,” he says confidently, and they leave him to his business. He hasn’t told anyone about the pain, not even Kravitz. But it seems Magnus rolled pretty high on his perception check.

Taako remembers a few moments that seem odd and convenient in retrospect. A few months ago, they were in charge of bringing Merle to his very cool, surprise birthday party. But it was a pretty long hike from the town to the beach and Taako felt the pain flare up in his hip. He wasn’t going to make it. Just as he was about to think of an excuse to Blink ten feet ahead, he felt himself lifted by a pair of strong arms. Taako protested colourfully but Magnus didn’t put him down. “I’m getting out of shape since we saved the world, boys. Gotta train when I can.” Then Magnus scooped up a laughing Merle under his other arm and began jogging down to the beach.

Magnus knows Taako needs help. But he also knows that the wizard doesn’t want anyone to see his weakness. So, he made this cane as practical and flashy as possible, a weapon and a fashion statement, something nobody will question when they see it in his hands. Taako feels his heart fill up and warm in his chest. But when he looks up, he gives Magnus his flashiest smile. “This is fucking rad, my man, thank you.”

Magnus smiles back and then turns to Lup. “And for you! I made that thing that you’ve been hinting at me to make for months. It’s in the backyard.”

“Fuck yes!” Lup says and runs outside. Everyone else looks at each other uncertainly.

Davenport speaks up, “Is it something she’s going to be bringing back in, or…?”

“Oh, yeah, no –” Magnus replies, but he’s cut off by Lup yelling from the backyard.

“For seven birds y’all fly real fuckin slow!”

They exit Magnus’s house in a meandering line. Taako experimentally puts his weight on the staff as he walks. The shape is sturdy and stable, and the height of it masks the fact that Taako is using it as a cane. He probably looks badass as hell. And the aching in his joints is still there, but more manageable than without the support.

Magnus is looking down at him with a tentative and genuine smile. Taako reaches over and places his hand over Magnus’s large forearm. The wizard isn’t usually one to initiate contact and Magnus (the king of physical affection) takes full advantage of the moment. He gently places his heavy arm around Taako’s shoulder and squeezes.

Magnus has built a gigantic shuffleboard in the backyard. Merle whoops in excitement. Lup is already set up and ready to kick Barry’s ass. “Thank you, Magnus!” she calls, blowing him a kiss. Magnus chuckles.

“You did good, big guy. How’d you know what to get her?” Taako asks sarcastically. They sit on the grass to watch the game.

“Just a hunch,” Magnus replies. Over the last few months, Lup had been leaving sticky-notes on Railsplitter, writing the words in mustard on an open-faced sandwich, and whispering into his ear when he was fast asleep. Giant Shuffleboard.

A few energetic and slightly violent games later, a rift tears open near the side of the house. Kravitz steps through, his skull gradually covering over with dark skin and transforming into a handsome face.

“The boss finally let you go!” Lup calls from across the lawn.

“Finally,” Kravitz replies. “Happy birthday, Lup.” She gives him a wink.

“You look good, babe. A skele-ten-out-of-ten,” Taako says as Kravitz settles down the grass next to him.

“Good one,” Kravitz chuckles. He gently holds the side of Taako’s face in his hand and kisses his freckled cheek. “Happy birthday, love.” Kravitz notices the staff on the ground between Taako and Magnus. “What’s this?”

Taako places the staff in his boyfriend’s cold hands and Kravitz inspects it with an impressed expression. He looks up and across Taako, making eye contact with Magnus. Kravitz raises his eyebrows in a silent question. Magnus nods. Taako interrupts.

“Okay, I don’t know what this is,” he protests, waving his hands between the two of them, “but make it stop.”

The Seven Birds and the Grim Reaper play giant shuffleboard and eat and laugh until the sun sets.

The twins walk together back to the house. Taako holds Lup’s hand in his left and the staff in his right. His sister looks at his gift appreciatively and then gives Magnus a thumbs up. There’s a certain look in her eyes that Taako is just now beginning to recognize.

Now that he thinks to roll investigation, Taako realizes he hasn’t been hiding things as well as he intended to.

It doesn’t bother him as much as he thought it would.

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ceilingfan5 · 3 years

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ok since you have all this sticker stars info in your head i would love to know more about what kind of music krav writes!! like you said it has hozier vibes but what’s the vibe of his lyrics?? does he mostly write about love? if so happy or sad love songs?? how many terrible exes has my goth boy had that hems writing these sad songs??? and taako!! what has he been thru that makes him relate to these lyrics so much!! (i mean i Know sazed but also...... who else has hurt taako bc i will !! kill them !!) i also want to know about taako and lups relationship because they seem kinda distant like they still love each other but they havent been talking lately???? taako talk to ur sister more!!!! anyway i just have a lot of feelings about your fic and im enjoying it so so much (also feel free to ignore this ask if u dont feel like writing more about the fic)

krav definitely writes a lot about love!! finding love, lost love, being lonely, that sort of thing. he has a mix of happy and sad ones, but i think it’s hard on him having had a whole string of exes that really just didn’t get him and what he wanted out of life. I was really trying to work out some lyrics that went kinda like

he asked me if i was in love

or in love with the idea of being in love

and i said i’ve been wrestlin’ with that one myself

but I couldn’t quite figure out how to make it sound good! lol lyrics are crazy hard. props to people who do that sort of thing on purpose. there are two and a half songs in sticker stars and that’s more than enough.

i never really decided on a number of exes? and i think even krav couldn’t tell you. he gets super invested in any relationship, even if there are only a few dates. he falls in love easily!!! he has a delicate heart. i definitely think when he was a kid his mama had to sit him down and be like. Kravitz. baby. I think you’re gay.

[”what?? me??” “yes, definitely. it couldn’t be more obvious, i don’t know how you haven’t figured it out yet, but i thought i could spare you some trouble by letting you know.” “oh. huh.”] he’s had BIG crushes since he was LIDDLE. he loves to hold a hand!!! tender boy.

taako’s had his own slew of exes! he plays a little more fast and loose because his heart is secretly also very delicate. he tends to get into things for the physical aspect and falls in love and gets his heart broken when the other person is still in it for the physical, or stops being into it because it was just a fling.

taako and lup haven’t talked before now for about 4 months!! he stopped talking to her when things broke bad with the Incident--he was having a really awful time and self-isolated really hard. he’s been lonely for a While. and then once he’d finally pulled himself back together and duct taped his bones in a relatively two-legged shape he couldn’t bear to call her and rehash it. he didn’t want to have to admit he’d gone and made the choice to do that, and that he’d avoided her, even though she loves him and would have been great and supportive, and he worked himself into a guilt spiral. you know how u do. things were already a little strained between them bc he was upset she was far away even though he’s the one that moved first, and she was busy with grad school etc. on god boy we’re gonna get you a support system

anyway thank you!! i love them so much

#testimonials #sticker stars #krav was a terror in college

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charmandhex · 4 years

Text

A TOTALLY UNOFFICIAL AND VERY MUCH NOT SANCTIONED BY NBC OPENING SCENE FOR AN AS OF YET NONEXISTENT PILOT OF THE ADVENTURE ZONE: BALANCE ANIMATED SHOW THAT I AM 100% NOT GETTING PAID FOR

Credit to: the McElboys

No credit to: me, Charm H. Adventurezone, sleep deprived [job title redacted] and overly ambitious fic writer

[Our opening shot is of the world of Abeir-Toril (or whatever the fuck we’re going to call it to avoid copyright issues idk that redacted job title up there sure isn’t lawyer) as it drifts through the Prime Material Plane. From here, we can see little but clouds, water, and land masses. One regular-sized moon orbiting the world drifts into view. If you look closely, but you’re only looking closely because you’re a nerd who knows what to look for, you can see a much, much smaller moon -THAT’S NO MOON got there first Clint what now- drifts over a massive, still lake and a brightly colored spot that we might know to be Neverwinter, wait- Eversummer, hm, that was graphic novel, but can we use that there?- KINDASPRING there we go. The initial shot is quiet, for a moment, before seven notes -yes those ones folks- ring out.]

GRIFFIN [audio only]: I can guess what you’re probably all expecting. Some big, dramatic speech to match the big, dramatic intro we’ve got going on here. [As Griffin talks, we start to zoom in on a continent conveniently labeled NOT-FAERUN. We fly by our much smaller moon, but not close enough to see anything of interest – yet. We see Kindaspring, all busy and fantasy and so on. We catch a glimpse of a city buried in the shadow of a mountain range, with a bunch of dudes who all look the same. A city on a cliff, a shining gold monument in the center and trails of dust on a track around the city. Canyons, and a dash of pearlescent color just for a moment. Blink and you miss it, and a flash of a black and white tent in the woods near Kindaspring. You get the picture.] But, fact of the matter is, folks, we kinda blew all the budget on this one shot! Completely boned it in the first two seconds! So, let’s get right into it and roll some fuckin’ initiative- oh, can I say fuck? Are we allowed to do that, here on NBC Peacock? Shit, I’m going to completely bone our cussing budget too- anyway! Let’s roll some initiative and meet our heroes.

[Zoom in on wagon on road outside Kindaspring. It’s not a very impressive wagon. There are patches on the canvas. The wheels are all creaky and bouncy over the dirt road. The horses look like they could use a nap. There are stink lines, y’all. The road, meanwhile, is pretty well-used. There are ruts, and the sides of the road run clean and even. It’s surrounded by woods, and we’re far enough out of Kindaspring to not get any noise from the city, nor close enough to our destination to even get a hint of whatever the fuck I’m going to have to call Phandalin that isn’t Phandalin.

But back to our characters. Right now, only one is visible, a buff human man, like super buff, no you don’t understand animators, he must be a brick shithouse of a man, he’s very sensitive about this. He has massive muscles and massive sideburns, and he looks way too happy to be driving this wagon. You just know the vehicle proficiency jokes are coming. Cartoon GRIFFIN pops up in the corner of the screen, looking unimpressed.]

GRIFFIN: …Well, maybe not heroes. Three… boys. Three very messy, very murder hobo, very horny boys. [A beat.] Tres horny boys, if you will. So, uh, first up is-

MAGNUS [aware of Griffin and waving at everyone- listen, fourth wall breaks are kinda a thing for me, folks]: I’m Magnus Burnsides, human fighter! [Stat card for Magnus pops up on the side. There’s a not very flattering picture with it.] Also… [with the wagon reigns in hand, he starts counting off on his fingers, concentrating] Uh, master carpenter, man of action, rush into battle- oh, and I’m from Raven’s Roost, and-

[The canvas flaps blow open behind MAGNUS, and MAGNUS’S stat card disappears with a pop and a tiny bit of white smoke. TAAKO steps out, already exasperated and swinging a hand, colliding with MAGNUS’S head and pushing it to the side.]

TAAKO: Yeah, save the backstory for like… 40 more episodes, my dude. We don’t have time for that shit right now.

GRIFFIN: O-kay, guess we’re just gonna assume we can swear whenever we want.

[As GRIFFIN is talking, TAAKO stops pushing on MAGNUS’S head.]

TAAKO [triumphant, shouting]: FUCK!

[Flock of birds flies out of the trees.]

GRIFFIN: So this is Taako, the elf wizard [TAAKO’S stat card pops up. Much more flattering picture.] and-

TAAKO: That’s Taako, you know, from… podcast, elf wizard and baller chef, yes, thank you, very much. AND very, very beautiful. [TAAKO does a hair flip. There are sparkles and magical sounds.] And very, very bored. [TAAKO’S stat card disappears.] How far away is this fuckin’ town? What’s it called again?

MAGNUS [shrugging]: Beats me. [To GRIFFIN] Did we come up with a name that doesn’t violate copyright?

GRIFFIN [evading the question, because I still am]: Aaaaaaaaaaaaand last but not least, Merle Highchurch. [A beat. GRIFFIN sighs.] Merle, that’s your cue.

MERLE [inside the tent]: Wha? Somebody say my name? [Canvas flaps rustle rustle rustle. MERLE’S face pops out, looking around owlishly. He also steps out to the front of the wagon.]

MAGNUS [now very crowded and still trying to drive]: You missed your cue, old man.

MERLE [indignant]: I was busy studying my cantrips!

TAAKO and MAGNUS [in unison]: Gross!

MERLE: No, not like-

GRIFFIN [interrupting]: And Merle is a cleric! [MERLE’S stat card pops up. The picture was taken too high, so we can only see MERLE’S hair and forehead.]

MERLE: I’m a what now?

GRIFFIN [overly enthusiastic, it’s a bit now, folks]: Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar, clerics are kind of a support class magic user. They can cast things like buffs-

MERLE: Huh?

GRIFFIN [still overly enthusiastic]: and heal their party members-

MERLE: I can do that?

GRIFFIN: Clerics also serve gods, and Merle’s god is Mort-

MERLE [indignant again]: Hang on! That doesn’t sound right!

GRIFFIN [pushing out of his little bubble and leaning into the scene]: Then who is your god?

MERLE: Uh… Pan! [MERLE pulls out the Extreme Teen Bible.] See? Pan!

MAGNUS [whispering to TAAKO]: Okay, I guess this is how we’re resolving that whole thing. [TAAKO shrugs. MERLE is smiling. It’s adorable, like those little smiles Carey Pietsch does I love them so much, y’all.]

GRIFFIN: So, Magnus, Taako, Merle. Off on an adventure of epic proportions. [GRIFFIN is getting excited.] Full of action and danger and goofs and found family and-

MAGNUS: Now hold on! Epic proportions? Epic? [MAGNUS waves a hand around at the generally pretty chill woods, the boring road, and the stink lines wagon.]

TAAKO: Yeah, so far this is snoozeville, population, uh, me and these two chucklefucks.

MERLE [peering at GRIFFIN]: you sure you got the right dnd party, bud?

GRIFFIN [looking at audience]: We’re still negotiating contracts, so I’m filling in for, uh… someone. So for now, hey, I’m Griffin McElroy, your Dungeon Master, your best friend, and your announcer for this pilot episode. Ahem. [GRIFFIN clears his throat.] Grab your shields and ready your spell slots. Strap in your asses and… really, just strap in your asses. And, for the very first time, welcome to the animated version of… THE ADVENTURE ZONE!

[Title card and Mort Garson’s “Déjà Vu” plays. All my ideas went into dialogue, folks. Fan artists, this one’s all yours.]

[We pop back into the same scene as before.]

MAGNUS: Yeah, so, uh, like we were saying, before, uh, whatever that was, what we’re doing now is-

TAAKO [interrupting]: Hold on! We are not, I repeat, not doing some dumb recap where we explain this boring job... unless…

MAGNUS, MERLE, and GRIFFIN [all have gone laser eye meme]: UNLESS?

TAAKO [singing]: Flashback sequence!

[There’s a loud POP! as the scene shifts, and we’re now in your standard fantasy tavern. There’s a table with four chairs right in front of us, all of which are empty. The tavern acts as a backdrop behind that, illustrating just how fantasy this world is. We see humans and elves and dwarves yes, because we’ve already seen them, but also Gnomes and tieflings and haflings and orcs and Genasi and aarakocra (try spelling that one, folks ;) I’m sure that won’t come up later) and so on and so forth.

There’s another POP! as GRIFFIN’S window reappears in the upper right corner. He looks slightly ruffled.]

GRIFFIN [straightening his hair and glasses]: Wow, that is going to take some getting used to. Anyway, the boys should be here in a second, and-

[Three more pops as MAGNUS, TAAKO, and MERLE appear in three of the four seats at the table. MERLE lands upside down. He immediately starts struggling to right himself]

MAGNUS [looking at the empty chair and frowning]: Wait, what was the name of the guy we were meeting again? Gumdrop?

TAAKO: Hm… Gurgle? Guava? Gumbo?

MERLE [having finally righted himself]: No! My cousin, uh… um… oh, that’s right, Gundren!

[As MERLE says GUNDREN, another pop as GUNDREN pops into existence in the chair. He looks like if you put MERLE through a grinder, not like we’re gonna run into one of those in an episode or two, right, fellas?

Nasty boy that he is, GUNDREN lets out a grunt and then spits on the floor. People have to clean that, GUNDREN! This is why you- (SPOILERS REDACTED)- anyway.]

GUNDREN: So, like I was saying, boys. You take my wagon from here in Kindaspring down the road to Mandolin-

TAAKO: Oh, that’s what we’re calling it?

MERLE: I thought that was another TV show?

[Up in the corner, GRIFFIN shrugs.]

GUNDREN: Uh… yes? That’s… what it’s called? [GUNDREN looks suspiciously at them. It seems like he’d give the job to someone else in an instant, if literally anyone else would take the job. But magically, he’s stuck with these boys.] But, uh, you get my wagon and my goods to Mandolin, and I’ll let you in on the next job. And that job, boys… [GUNDREN laughs. It sounds like if you threw rocks in a blender.] That’s the kinda job that will be the last job you ever need to take.

MAGNUS [cheerfully]: Well, that sounds murdery!

[There’s a loud POP! and we’re back on the wagon again, all of our boys already in place.]

GRIFFIN [shrugging, smiling]: Guess you’re going to find out! Oh, and boys… let’s roll initiative.

#taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #mcelroy family #mcelboys #charm works #this is basically a glorified overly long shitpost and the level of editing that went into this reflects that #PLEASE HIRE ME MCELROYS

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cntrspll · 3 years

Text

this is a love letter to my own fic

hi hello hey, this is an essay about my own fic and the feelings i have about it. fic can be found here.

i am going to try so hard to keep this organized but i don’t know how well that will work soooo let’s go!

on the fic overall:

i just... like magnus. i think he is a fan fave for a reason, but i think there’s a lot of missing discussion of his post-canon situation and the development thereafter. when i finished listening to balance for the first time (in february-ish this year, i think?), i remember being super frustrated with where parts of the fandom had landed their focus. this isn’t an uncommon fandom thing, and i totally get where it comes from. some characters are just super relatable and a lot of fun to write about and have like absolute piles of stuff to unpack, so it’s totally fair that some characters get more focus than others, but where i felt that some of my faves got a lot of fandom focus, others... didn’t.

so this fic was in part an attempt to rectify that, because i wasn’t finding the unpacking of magnus and his emotional / mental state that i wanted. that being said, there are a couple fics that i did draw a little bit of inspiration from, the biggest probably being patterns of migration by goodnicepeople. the depiction of magnus as this big strong dude who also has these quiet vulnerabilities that he doesn’t like admitting to people is like, in part just really accurate to canon, but also something that i really wanted to see explored more, and i didn’t find a whole lot of other fics that fit that, so in part i just wanted to set out to put a little more into that.

also, like, i work in food service, and we are in a pandemic, and i moved in the middle of this year and i started hrt this year and have been dealing with the fallout of coming out and just kind of everything, and this fic was a really good way of just like, distracting myself from everything and sitting down for a little every day and thinking about something else and not so much about everything that was happening around me. so there is a good part of this fic that is just like, me coping with everything and trying to reorient myself a little. and it worked pretty well for that!

on process:

ok first things first, this was never meant to be 133k long. when i first sat down to write this, it was going to be a handful of snapshots set across [undetermined amount of time here] of magnus dealing with isolation and insomnia, and it was only meant to be like, maybe a 20k oneshot? that obviously did not happen. i think my original estimate once i accepted that this was gonna be multichaptered was like 60-70k, but then the chapters started getting longer with each one i finished, and then i wanted to add in an interlude, and then i decided i needed an epilogue, and here we are.

i’ll talk about this in other sections too, but as i wrote, i just kept finding more and more things that i wanted to talk about. i was also in the process of relistening to balance i was writing, and i kept running into little things that happened over the course of the show that i was like... oh shit! and that would inspire another scene or an interaction i wanted to write or something i wanted to focus more on, and the whole thing just kept getting more and more and bigger and bigger.

i’ve said it like 50 thousand times now, but i have never written anything this long before. i tried really hard to be regimented about the way i did it, because from the beginning i knew this was going to be an emotional journey for me to write, but i knew that if i let it slide for a week or so then i would never finish it. so to get through it, i wrote almost every day for a minimum of an hour. the process that i’ve found works best for me when i’m writing is using word sprints, putting on some music, and then forcing myself to tune out of social media and everything else for 25 minutes. i try to do between 750-1k words in that time period, then the site gives you a five minute break, during which i usually check twitter or fact check if i need to, and then i go back in and do another sprint. this works really well for me because i wasn’t trying to hit a specific word goal in any given day, just like... trying to sit down and write. i also tried not to guilt myself too much if i missed a day, or if i only did one sprint instead of two, or anything like that, and that’s kind of what helped me get through the whole monster without instantly dropping it as soon as i had another idea.

on mental health and recovery:

so one of my big personal pet peeves in fiction is the idea that trauma recovery is like, a one time single event deal. like, someone has this big horrible thing happen to them or they have some pressing mental health issue and then someone else walks in and they have one conversation and bam, everything is fine. i was exposed to a lot of [fan]fiction when i was younger that kind of supported this kind of narrative, and i get that there is a certain sort of wish fulfillment thing to that, but it also sucks, being an adult and having Problems(TM) and knowing that it absolutely does not work like that.

so when i set out to write a fic about trauma and mental illness and recovery, i felt kind of a responsibility to not fall into that trap and write it like, okay and then magnus and taako talk about it and taako’s like hey dude you’re depressed but it’s okay and then magnus doesn’t have nightmares anymore. also, because this is taz and the canon of like, historical accuracy is complete bullshit, i can put therapists and psychiatry and psychiatric medications in my fic and no one can tell me i’m wrong and it doesn’t exist. elevators exist, so i can make ssris and anti anxiety pills exist.

but also, magnus as a character is not going to jump into that right away. it is canon fact that he doesn’t like accepting or asking for help with stuff like this, and yes there are a couple big moments where he does, but like i bring up a couple times in the fic, mental health struggles are a big jump from like, a physical fight using swords and axes and shit. and this i think is really accurate to a lot of people’s struggles with mental illness, just taking that first step and admitting that you don’t feel okay, and that you need someone’s help to deal with it. that’s super super scary even to admit to like, your closest friends.

so that’s why magnus kind of shies away a number of times from some of the conversations that people try to start with him about mental health. taako and carey and lucretia and pretty much everyone else approach him at some point about opening up about this stuff, but he pulls away because admitting that kind of vulnerability to someone else is super scary, even if you’ve maybe admitted it to yourself already.

i also wanted to make sure that at the end of the fic, he wasn’t magically better. this is something else that i think people kind of forget, like... trauma and the problems that it causes don’t go away just because of therapy and medication. those things help, they help you reform the ways you think about yourself and about the world, but they don’t change the struggles you’ve been through or the sometimes biological problems that are causing whatever issue you’re having. and i remember reading a lot of fic when i was a kid where someone would be depressed, and then they’d fall in love and get magic dick or something and then they’d never be sad again, which... isn’t great.

but at the same time, i didn’t want it to end on this note like, oh everything is still bad even though he worked so hard to open up and get help, because that sucks, too. so it was really important to me that the fic end on a hopeful note, like, magnus isn’t cured. he still has bad days and bad weeks and sometimes he is just as low as he was before, but he also has like, normal days, which is something that i think you kind of forget can even exist when you’re depressed, or when you’re dealing with any mental illness. but like, i really wanted it to be obvious that things did get better and even if he’s still coping with it and it’s not going away, he’s okay. he’s gonna be all right.

on an unreliable narrator:

this kind of plays into some of the mental health stuff, but one thing that i love about taz that i really wanted to play into with this fic is the idea of limited perspective. griffin does some really cool fucking things with this, specifically in relation to the ipre and the big reveal in the last lunar interlude, with the idea of like... a character can only know the things that they know. like, magnus knows that there is a picture of him depicted as a red robe, and barry knows that they’re all red robes, and taako knows that they found the umbra staff next to a red robed skeleton and that the umbrella spelled out lup at one point, but none of them necessarily know all the things that the other person knew, and none of them know all the things that lucretia knows or that fisher knows or junior knows, etc etc.

unfortunately, just because the pace of the story picks up so much in that last lunar interlude, there isn’t a whole lot of space to explore that like, disconnect between all these facts that they each have as individuals. and given the perspective of mental health and the way that plays into your perceptions of yourself and your perceptions of other people’s perceptions, i really wanted to delve into like… magnus’s misunderstandings.

this is not a strictly straightforward unreliable narrator situation, but i did bring in some elements of that. i really wanted to explore the disconnect between how magnus sees and how everyone else sees him and his issues. there are also a couple moments where he flat out completely misinterprets their intentions, which unfortunately i didn’t delve into as much as i wanted to so they ended up mostly being fun easter eggs for, uh… me? i guess?

one of those moments is the scene in ch 4 where barry and magnus are sitting in the kitchen and barry starts to ask magnus something. magnus assumes it’s going to be about his mental health, and that this is barry stepping up as representative for everyone else to talk to him about it, but it’s really meant to be a precursor to their conversation in ch 6 where they talk about barry and lup and marriage and proposals.

magnus gets a little perspective on this later, i think in ch 7(?) where he’s thinking about how maybe their lives don’t completely revolve around him and he’s missing some of their perspective. but like, they all have their own shit going on, and they all love him and they’re worried about him, but also, barry is thinking about lup. lup is thinking about taako. taako is thinking about lucretia. lucretia is thinking about davenport, and davenport is thinking about his own issues, and so on and so on and they’re not all just like… waiting to pounce on magnus the second he shows weakness.

a lot of that plays into the hypervigilance of ptsd, too. magnus is very aware of any perceived threat, and he sometimes treats the people around him as threats, when all they’re doing in reality is thinking like, man i wish he didn’t live out here by himself all the time.

on a more meta note, i also have a tendency to make every character i write just like, a super good judge of character. i don’t think magnus is that, and i really wanted to lean into that. magnus does not read intention super well, even when that intention is genuinely good.

on the ipre and their relationships:

so i… really don’t write gen fic a lot. even when i do, it is almost always tinged with a little bit of background shipping, and there is some of that in this, but whereas in most fandoms i end up being a multishipper, for some reason with taz i’ve ended up pretty much only caring about the canon ships (sorry…). that being said, the platonic relationships in taz (and especially in balance) are some of the most compelling and important fictional relationships that i’ve ever encountered. like, they are just really well fucking done.

this being the magnus love letter that it is, i really wanted to focus on magnus’s distinct relationships with every member of the ipre crew. i don’t know how obvious this is in the actual narrative, but with the exception of the interlude and the epilogue, the story is broken down into one chapter for each member of the starblaster crew (in order, magnus, taako, merle, davenport, barry, lucretia, lup). i did this specifically because it was really important to me that i dive into all of them and their particular issues. i didn’t quite get the deep dive with merle or davenport that i would’ve liked to, but hopefully in the future i’ll get more time to explore that.

anyway, in case it isn’t obvious, lup is probably my favorite fictional character literally ever in any media created by anyone in the history of time. i say this only because a lot of this fic was set up to build to the conversation between her and magnus in ch 8 out on the mountain where he finally opens up for the first time. there are some really incredible unexplored parallels and relationships in taz (unexplored mainly because like, where would it even fit in canon), and while some of them are super self indulgent (ie, lup and mags, barry and mags), i really really really wanted to dig into those a little more. things like the conversation where taako is talking about everyone brushing over his trauma to rush to forgive lucretia, or lucretia talking about trying to learn to love writing again and recognize happy moments, davenport almost admitting that he’s not completely sure about stepping back into the family in his former role… i could write an entire fic on any of these, really.

but ultimately, this being a magnus fic, i tried to filter those conversations through a perspective of two things: first, how does this affect magnus and his mental health journey, and second, what can magnus do to help this. those scenes where magnus is trying to help someone with something and they’re like, backhandedly helping him are some of my favorite interactions in the fic.

the other thing i really really really wanted to explore that i never see enough of in fic is magnus and carey’s relationship. carey is canonically magnus’s best friend, and yet in fic i feel like she gets pushed to the side a little in favor of the starblaster crew. which i get, they’ve got a hundred and ten years of shared trauma, but also, travis flat out states that carey is magnus’s best friend, so… i mean, there is also a little bit of self indulgence here, because i am also a man who is exclusively best friends with lesbians, but you know.

that being said, i really wanted to emphasize that relationship in particular, which is why carey doesn’t have her own dedicated chapter and instead kind of slides in and out of each one and slowly helps magnus along the way. her personality i also feel is like, the exact kind of thing that magnus needs to push him into accepting / asking for help and moving towards recovery.

on real life parallels:

ok, i swear to god i did not intend to make this a holiday fic posted during the holidays. i started writing this in june, and again, it was only meant to be like 20k and not necessarily entirely set during candlenights. that kind of happened, anyway? candlenights just seemed like the best vessel to get all these characters whose post-canon situations i wanted to explore into the same room, and i finished the first draft around mid october and i wanted to give myself plenty of time for editing, so it honestly just ended up coincidentally aligning with the holidays. go figure.

that being said, isolation ended up featuring pretty heavily in this fic. that i think is to be expected to a certain degree given the nature of mental health and recovery and blah blah blah, but i probably unintentionally ended up leaning into it a little more because like… this year. and the holidays tend to be a time that a lot of us feel really isolated, and this year especially, but one of the big things for me this year is that like, all of my friends live out of state. the closest one to me is still a good 2-3 hour plane ride, which i am absolutely not risking. i had like a hundred plans to go see people and do things this year, and those obviously got cancelled.

probably the biggest one of those things was seeing a friend who i have kind of started a new years tradition of seeing, but we ended up calling that off out of safety considerations, of course. and it sucks! it’s not fun! i also moved out this year and i have my own place and in june i was really hoping that things would be okay by now and i could have all my friends come in from out of town for new years and that didn’t happen. and i wasn’t intending for this fic to be a kind of wish fulfillment of like, here’s my new place post-[saving the universe / coming out and becoming a real person], let me show my found family around my hometown and let’s make new holiday traditions together now that we’re no longer [fighting the apocalypse / literal children] and everything will be fun and happy and good, but that is kind of what happened anyway. [insert joke here that goes like “do you project your real world problems and mental health issues onto fictional characters or are you normal?”]

but yeah, magnus’s mental health struggles did kind of accidentally become a little bit of a pandemic / quarantine life parallel. i did not mean for that to happen, but it did help me tease out a little bit of what it is that i feel like i’m missing and what i want in the future when things are better, and i hope it helped some other people figure that stuff out too, maybe?

and in conclusion:

i said this a little bit in the final notes in the fic, but i am so so so grateful and emotional over the comments i’ve gotten from some of you. i’ve said it already, but this was such an emotional rollercoaster for me to write. i put a decent amount of my own mental health issues into the stuff i wrote into magnus, and it was genuinely therapeutic and like… super helpful and important. it was also a big struggle, and there were some scenes i came out of feeling incredibly drained and like i needed to not write for a week.

so that being said, those of you who have commented things about how this fic helped you deal with your own emotional turmoil or helped put something in perspective for you, i am genuinely so happy to hear that i’ve impacted you in that way like, at all. that is so incredible to me, and not necessarily what i set out to do, but it means so much to hear someone say that and also to know that someone felt comfortable sharing that with a stranger on the internet. thank you so so so much.

again, this fic means so much to me. the fact that it’s impacted even a handful of people in that way is absolutely amazing. some of the things you guys have said have had me seriously choked up. i am so glad that anyone even took the time to read all 133k of this, let alone that it affected people like that.

i don’t know if i’ll be writing more about magnus in this universe. i would love to! but i’m also super happy with where i’ve left his story. i have plans to explore the calen thing in the future, but only kind of tangentially in a side mention and not fully, so who knows? there is more though, a lot with taako and kravitz and lup and barry and hopefully one day i will find the motivation somewhere in me to flesh out everyone else’s situations a little more, too. who knows!

anyway, i just want to say thanks again to everyone for reading, and even more so if you are reading this dumb essay. you’re super cool.

#txt #fic talk

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august-anon · 4 years

Text

Tickletober Day 8 - Interrogation [LATE]

Fandom: The Adventure Zone: Balance

Ship(s): platonic IPRE crew

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Magnus, Ler!Taako

Word Count: 707 words

Summary: Taako's hat is missing and he's going to find the culprit, no matter what it takes.

[ao3 link]

---------------------------------

Taako’s hat was missing.

Taako’s hat was missing, and the problem was, it could’ve been anyone. They had all expressed their distaste for his new hat (ranging from Lup and Magnus calling it “the ugliest damn thing they’d ever seen” to Davenport and Lucretia saying it “was far too extravagant”), so there was no narrowing it down. There were seven people to question, and Taako wasn’t sure where to start.

He supposed he would just start with the first one he came across. It seemed as good a plan as any, especially when Barry was the first of the crew to come into view. Even after their handful of years on this ship together, getting killed and brought back every damn year, the man was still as awkward as ever. Still, no stone could be left unturned.

“Barry, have you seen my hat?”

Barry jerked out of his slump and looked at Taako, startled. He had bags under his eyes, making Taako assume he’d pulled another all-nighter trying to study the Light of Creation again. He likely had a solid alibi, then.

“Uh, sorry, Taako. I don’t think I have.”

Taako hummed. “Go get some rest, big man. You look worse than Magnus does whenever we reload.”

Barry snorted out an awkward laugh, but pushed himself into a shaky standing position and made his way down the hallway Taako had just emerged from.

Taako continued on his way, finding both Merle and Davenport on the bridge playing one of their ridiculous games. As much as Taako didn’t believe Merle, he did have an alibi: he and Davenport had been playing through the night and could vouch for each other, and Taako was inclined to believe Davenport’s story.

That left two culprits, neither of which surprised Taako in the least.

He found Magnus first, backtracking to the private quarters to try and catch one of them. He was in his room, whaling on a punching bag in the corner. Taako wasted no time in launching himself at Magnus.

Magnus, of course, barely wavered, being the brick shithouse he was, but Taako managed to get a good grip so that he wouldn’t get launched off Magnus’s back. Magnus for his part seemed unconcerned, adjusting to Taako’s weight with ease and carefully readjusting the punching bag so it would stop swinging.

“What--”

“Where’s my hat?” Taako demanded, tightening his grip.

Magnus let out an awkward laugh. “What do you mean?”

Taako gasped. “Oh, you little shit, you better tell me where it is--”

“Or what?”

Taako resisted the urge to make a frustrated noise. He was better than that, he was an adult now. This wasn’t him and Lup pulling pranks on each other at their aunt’s house anymore.

But that thought brought a great idea with it.

“Or this,” Taako hissed, and dug his fingers into Magnus’s ribcage.

Magnus cried out and doubled over, as if that would stop Taako in the slightest. He started laughing, deep and loud, and pinned his arms to his sides. After a few moments passed and Taako didn’t stop, Magnus went so far as to collapse to his knees.

“Tell me where the hat is, Burnsides.”

“Taako-- No--!”

Taako made sure his legs still had a good enough grip around Magnus’s waist to support him before drawing his arms back. He immediately darted for a new spot, one wiggling up under Magnus’s arm and the other attaching itself to his hip, squeezing away. Magnus wheezed, laughter bellowing and echoing through the small room.

“Talk!”

“Lup!” Magnus cried out. “Lup has it!”

Taako rushed out of the room, leaving a wheezing and giggling Magnus on the floor to recover. He could check back later and make sure Magnus was alright, but if Lup had had his hat this whole time, it may have already been too late.

He rushed down the hall to Lup’s quarters and flung the door open. Lup’s eyes met his and she gave him a maniacal grin as his hat burst into flames in her hands. An offended noise punched out of Taako as he watched, more shocked than anything. The hat’s ashes sprinkled to the floor, and Taako took that as his cue to lunge.

She was so dead.

#tickle fic #My writing #tickletober2020 #lee!magnus #ler!taako #ticklish!magnus #taz:b tickling #taz tickling #Taako Taaco #magnus burnsides

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theassthatquits · 3 years

Link

Chapter Four is now out!

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: TAZ Balance (Stolen Century) Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Summary:

Early on in their journey the seven birds landed in a world where there were seven major magical celebrations that are designed to challenge relationships and make them stronger. The crew find themselves thrust into these events - how will their bonds change? Primarily focused on Barry and Lup. If you're reading my fic "In the Margins," this is the cycle that is referenced!

Two days later, Davenport woke up in a strange bed. He heard a frail voice calling out from another room but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. After quickly surveying his surroundings to make sure that he wasn’t in any danger, he carefully got out of the unfamiliar bed, thankful he had worn a shirt and shorts to bed the night before.

“Hello?” He called out timidly. “My name is Davenport, I think I am supposed to spend the day with you?”

“Hicrue? Is that you?” He turned right down the hallway, following the voice and the coughing that preceded it.

He opened a door to see an older woman lying in bed looking very frail. Pictures of cats lined the walls that mirrored the ones lying on her bed. “Well, you’re not my son. I guess you’re here to spend the day with me?”

“I guess so.” Davenport sneezed. Apparently he was allergic to cats.

—-

“Well, well, well, who do we have here?” Taako’s flirtatious voice came out, directed at the gorgeous shirtless man emerging from Davenport’s room. “Has the captain finally treated himself?”

“Captain?” The man sounded confused. “I just woke up here, my name is Hicrue. Where the hell am I?”

Lup pushed past Taako to get to Hicrue, “You are on the Starblaster, a plane-travelling spacecraft. Hi, my name is Lup.” She held her hand out for a handshake and batted her eyes, obviously into this guy’s whole deal.

Immediately upon setting his eyes on her, Hicrue’s face lit up. “Pleasure to meet you, Lup. I guess I’m yours for today.” He shook her hand, “Care to show me around?”

“Absolutely! The first order of business -”

“-finding you a shirt.”

Lup whipped around. “Merle! We don’t complain when you walk around shirtless.”

“Actually -” Merle held up his finger as if he was going to argue but she ignored him.

“Anyway, first order of business: a delicious breakfast cooked by me and my less talented twin Taako. Come hang out with us in the kitchen and we can get to know your whole deal.” Lup lead the way out of the common room with Hicrue and Taako dutifully following.

She didn’t notice Barry standing wordlessly in the darkened hallway from his room watching this interaction, a stomach ache coming on without knowing why.

---

“Can I get you anything else, Margaret?” Davenport handed her the cup of tea he made and she shook her head.

“No thank you, dearie. You have done more than enough. Breakfast was delicious.”

“It was really no trouble, I’ve learned how to make french toast from the best.” He would never admit this in front of the twins. “So, how do your days usually go?”

“Well -” she coughed a couple of times before continuing. “Hicrue normally makes me some tea and toast before going out for the day and I sit here in this rocking chair until he returns. We make some light conversation, maybe play a round of cards, eat some supper, and do the whole thing over again.”

“What do you normally do while he’s gone?”

“Sit here and wait for him to come back.”

Davenport frowned. As a certified workaholic who hadn’t taken a vacation in a decade, he couldn’t imagine not being busy. “Well, what does Hicrue normally do when he’s gone?”

“He has a job at the blacksmith’s in town, he’s the apprentice there. And then after work he usually hangs out with his friends.”

Davenport stood up. “Margaret, today we’re going to make this a day to remember.”

“Oh, but dearie you’re supposed to be following Hicrue’s footsteps. You need to go to the blacksmith’s.”

“I’m sure the blacksmith can handle one day without an apprentice. Today, we’re having some fun.”

All Margaret could do was smile sweetly back at him before going into another coughing fit.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, dearie. Well, not exactly. The doctors say it’s terminal.”

Davenport quieted before saying, “Well, I guess we’re going to have to make this an extra special day, then. Now, what is there to do in this town?”

---

“So you’re telling me that you all are from another plane, running away from a giant vore cloud eating up everything in existence that you refer to as the Hunger and you need to locate a giant bright orb of light or else my entire world as I know it will be lost to this entity?”

Lup looked around the table, waiting for someone else to add something. “Yep, that about sums it up.”

“How fucking wicked is that? And you all have been doing this for years?”

“Yup. You could say we’re humanity’s last hope,” Taako leaned back in his chair, attempting to look suave and nonchalant.

Hicrue’s eyes suddenly lit up and he turned to Lup. “Actually, now that you mention it, I think I saw something of that description fall in the forest right outside town the other day!”

Lup suddenly stood up, knocking the table as she went. “Really? We should leave right away.”

Standing up as well, Hicrue locked eyes with her. “Let’s go, I’m ready to leave right now.”

She took his hand in her own, “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Remembering she was on a team, Lup looked around the table. “Anyone else want to come?”

Magnus stood up, also shaking the table and nearly knocking Barry’s orange juice into his lap. “I’ll join you guys!”

“All right! Let’s go!” The three of them bounded out of the room, eager to get their supplies and look for the light.

The room was suddenly quiet and the remaining crew just looked at each other around the table. Finally Lucrecia broke the silence. “That was weird, right?”

“Eh,” Merle said. “It’s Lup.”

*Kshhhh* “Merle, come in. Merle.” *Kshhhh*

Merle made no move to grab his stone of farspeech.

*Kshhhh* “Merle, this is your Captain speaking. Over.” *Kshhhh*

Barry turned to him. “Are you going to get that?”

“Get what?” Barry motioned to his stone. “Oh, is that for me?”

“Well, he is saying ‘Merle’ repeatedly, so yeah, I would say so.”

“Well, look at that, I never get mail.” He picked up his stone. *Kshhh* “This is Merle. Over.” *Kshhh*

*Kshhh* “I need you to meet me in town. Your healing expertise is needed. Over.” *Kshhh*

“Sounds like he isn’t really needed if healing is involved,” Taako muttered under his breath. It was unclear if Merle chose to ignore him or wasn’t paying attention at all.

*Kshhh* “All right, I’ll head out now. Over.” *Kshhh*

Merle turned around to see Barry standing at him, incredulous. “Is the Captain okay?”

“I mean, you heard him.”

“He needs healing magic, he might be in trouble!”

Merle shrugged. “I’ll take care of it.”

Barry looked around the room, searching for any kind of support. “Is no one else thinking this is kind of concerning?”

Lucrecia shrugged. “I think if he was in trouble, he’d say something. But maybe someone should go with Merle.” No one spoke up.

Finally Barry broke the silence. “All right, I guess since I was the one concerned, I’ll go with Merle.”

“Whatever, Jeans Boy.”

Instinctively, Barry responded with, “It’s Bluejeans.” Then, “Fuck, it’s Hallwinter. I’m Sildar Barry Hallwinter.”

“Sounds like someone’s having an identity crisis.”

“Taako -”

“Are we leaving or what?” Barry looked up and Merle, who had been standing next to him mere moments ago, was now completely ready to go. Barry blinked a few times without saying anything and then followed him out of the door and into town.

---

“If the doctors of this world say it’s terminal, I don’t know what else I can do. I haven’t seen something like this before, it might be unique to this plane.”

“Merle, that’s quite an accusation to throw out there. We don’t have nearly enough information to declare this completely unique to -”

“Barry,” Davenport spoke sternly as if to say ‘stop talking.’ Barry obliged.

“You boys speak so strangely. What is this talk of ‘other worlds’?” Margaret inquired.

“That big metal ship out of town? That’s ours.” Merle answered. Kind of.

“What ship?”

“Margaret, do you go outside at all?” Davenport asked.

“Oh, no, I haven’t been outside in quite some time. Hicrue says he doesn’t have the time to take me out.”

Davenport looked around at the other men in the room and they all came to an unspoken understanding. “Margaret, put on your finest dress. We’re going out tonight!”

Her face lit up. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely! Let me clean up this game real fast and we’ll take you to see the ship.”

“And the festival?”

“And the festival!”

Barry helped Davenport clean up the table from where they had been playing a board game when there was a knock at the front door. Barry walked over and opened it and found a young man about the same age as Hicrue. His posture dropped as if disappointed and maybe a little bit of jealousy flared behind his eyes.

“Is Hicrue here?”

“Uh, no, he’s off galavanting with a beautiful young woman.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

The man’s face completely sank. “Oh. Well if you see him will you tell him that Nathan is looking for him?”

“Will do.” Barry was about to shut the door when, seemingly out of his control, he asked, “Are you okay?”

This was enough to break Nathan, apparently.

He started sobbing and Barry took a step back, uncomfortable and surprised.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can’t believe I’m crying in front of a complete stranger. Oh gods.” Nathan wiped his eyes. “I’m a fucking mess, man. I’m in love with my best friend and I can’t get the fucking guts to tell him. And now he’s off with a beautiful young woman? Not going to lie, this does happen quite frequently. He’s always off with a beautiful young someone.”

Barry now knew even less what he should do. After standing there awkwardly a few moments, he stepped forwards and patted Nathan on his back, visibly uncomfortable. “There, there. On the bright side, she won’t be around for longer than a year.”

That didn’t seem to help, he was crying harder now. Barry sighed. “Look, don’t tell anyone this, but I might have a thing for the girl he’s with.”

Nathan stopped and looked up at him. “Really? So we’re in the same situation?”

“I mean, I think it’s just a minor crush, practically non-existent -”

He stared deep into Barry’s eyes and put his hand on his shoulder. “I feel your pain, man. To see someone you’re desperately in love with -”

“Not in love but okay”

“- run off with a gorgeous person doing gods know what, I understand that feeling.”

Barry quit arguing. He figured there was no use in it. “Nathan, do you want to come hang out with us today?”

---

After a full day of showing the ship to Nathan and Margaret, they all got ready for the big feast at the center of town where they would meet their counterparts and share what they had learned for the day. Nathan and Barry walked up together, the latter wearing their nice jeans to make a good impression (And because Lup had complimented them once). Nathan was talking Barry’s ear off about how incredible Hicrue was when the man himself walked up with Lup, both of them animatedly talking with one another. Barry looked up just in time to see Lup throw her head back in laughter and suddenly he wasn’t so hungry anymore.

“Is that her?” Barry realized he had been staring when Nathan spoke up. “The girl with Hicrue, that’s Lup, right?”

His mouth was dry. “Yup.”

“Gods, she’s gorgeous.”

“Yup.”

“I don’t stand a fucking chance.”

“Yup.”

“A little sympathy would be nice.”

Barry shrugged. “Lup is the most incredible person I know. She’s pretty hard to beat.”

“Well, fuck.”

That made Barry laugh. He slapped him on the back. “Sorry, man. She’s just incredible.”

“Wow, you have it bad, don’t you?”

Barry didn’t answer that. Right at that moment, Hicrue looked up and noticed Nathan and Barry and started waving hello enthusiastically. Lup looked confused until he leaned over and said something to her.

“Well, I guess it’s time to head over there.”

“I guess.”

“Gods speed.” They fist bumped in solidarity and walked over to join them.

“Hey! Nathan! Looks like you met another crew member.” Hicrue slapped Nathan on the back as they approached. “Here’s my Starblaster member, Lup. Who’s yours?”

“I’m Barry. We met earlier.” No recognition passed his face.

“Hi Nathan, nice to meet you!” Lup shook his hand enthusiastically and turned to Hicrue. “Is this the guy who -”

“Fell out of the third story window chasing his shadow as a kid? Yes it is.”

Lup giggled. “Just like that marsupial we saw earlier that did that thing.” And then the two of them proceeded to do a dance, clearly part of an inside joke. Both of the boys felt like outsiders next to their friends.

Nathan and Barry just awkwardly watched them go back and forth for a bit, one inside joke after another before Barry interjected. “Did you guys find the light?”

“Oh, sorry Bear. It’s a no go.”

Hicrue snorted. “Bear. How adorable.”

“Yeah, it’s Lup ’s nickname for me.”

“How sweet, Bear.” Hicrue winked at him, as if knowing he was currently getting under Barry’s skin. He then turned back to Lup, who was oblivious to this interaction.

“Nathan, do you want to find a seat?”

He sighed. “Yeah, Barry, I guess I do.”

Hicrue and Lup didn’t notice them walk away and once they were far enough out of earshot, Barry said, “Your dude’s kind of a dick.”

“He can be, yes.”

“Why are you still entertaining the thought of him? You’re a sweet, smart, sensitive guy. You could get anyone you wanted to. Why Hicrue?”

“He’s really kind and funny. We grew up together and I guess I’ve always sort of been in love with him.”

“You deserve better, Nathan.”

“I don’t want better, Barry.”

There was nothing else to say to that. They sat down, not enjoying themselves for the rest of the night, both of them stealing glances to their crushes across the party.

#taz balance #the stolen century #barry bluejeans #lup #blupjeans #lup taaco

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got2ghost-archive · 4 years

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ten ships and why!! I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain AHH THANK U I LOVE TALKING ABT THIS SHIT

Half of my list is childhood best friends to lovers let's GOOOO

1. drarry

*deep shuddering inhale* I have thought abt draco and harry being foils before I even reached double digits. they could have saved each other and had so much potential to even just be FRIENDS!! if j*r wasn't like that, then she could have actually made a meaningful impact on draco early on. abt how you don't have to be your parents! and how to heal!! anyway I love them any way shape or form. I love reading dark gritty fucked up stories about them just as much as I love reading domestic silly fluffy stuff for them. draco would NOT put up with harry's bullshit and harry would NOT go easy on draco either but they're ultimately just two lonely boys who grew up in fucked up households who have much more in common than they realize!!! LIKE!!

2. wangxian

yes they're a new one but God their love extends so deeply. yes they r basically Chinese fantasy Kirk/spock!!

lan zhan is so in love w wei ying and is so devoted and everything he does is action or acts of service which js very much my love language!! but he also feels a deep sense of obligation to the rules and codes he's learned?? and wei ying loves lan zhan but it takes him a long time to accept it bc he DOESNT BELIEVE HE IS DESERVIG OF LOVE despite being so GOOD. AND THEY NEVER TALK TO EACH OTHER OR COMMUNICATE THEY WAY THEY SHOULD!!!! AND HE DIES and LAN ZHAN IS JUST. REPENTENT FOR 16 YEARS AND RAISES HIS SON AND IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD AND MISERABLE BUT THEN WWX comes BACK TO LIFE and they get to try again AND THEY GET TO BE HAPPY???? ANYWAY ACTS OF DEVOTION I!!!!

3. soriku

I've genuinely thought abt them since I was TEN when the first kingdom hearts game came out but it didn't solidify until KH2 came out when sora has to search for riku the entire game and when he finally does RIKU DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE HIMSELF BUT SORA STILL RECOGNIZES HIM ANYWAY AND HOLDS HIS HAND AND CRIES. THAT SHIT MADE ME GAY! I had never witnessed such tenderness and they are so inherently queer and subtle that it's one of the first stories I ever saw myself in. on top of that I also read that doujinshi that I consider Canon and it's so!! childhood best friends! with big complicated feelings of jealousy and betrayal and possessiveness when you start to grow apart from the person you care about the most!! and in game they're slowly... circling to become end game? the entire story revolves around them saving each other and RIKU LITERALLY CALLING SORA HIS MOST PRECIOUS PERSON? AHHHHHH

4. sterek

I will never forgive what the show did but the Fandom and the writing from that fandom is incredibly important to me. they're like my comfort pairing and I just love that Derek is sad and grumpy but it's because he's fucked up and needs to go to therapy and stiles is also kind of fucked up but happier and he's smart and beautiful and!!! they were obviously attracted to each other!! almost all of their stories involve CONSENT or Derek hale getting better slowly. they mean a lot to me bc my mom was dying while I clung to this fandom and wrote my grief fic and I always associate them with that time in my life. I could and did read like 30 stories abt Derek doing laundry and buying wooden spoons and trying to move on and be a healthier happier person.

5. taagnus

rarely have rare pairs but this is one of them and!!! look. I didn't ship them until the last two arcs of the show revealed that instead of only knowing each other for a few years and being idiots they in fact knew each other for 100 years+ and DIED A LOT together and saved each other. BUT COULDN'T REMEMBER IT YET THEY STILL KIND OF... FALL IN LOVE AGAIN? they balance each other so much. magnus is magnus - brave and GOOD. taako is so closed off, careful abt trusting people so when he acted on gut instinct to LITERALLY THROW HIS SOUL OUT OF HIS BODY TO SAVE MAGNUS I was hooked. I know that taako ends up w kravitz but bc we didn't get to see Krav much I couldn't grow attached to him? I love the thought of first love and exploring that - how it never goes away, really but you can still love other people!! plus! I love writing them as lesbians! they're butch/femme to me!

6. ruth/debbie

UGH. UGH!!!!! they're so obsessed with each other and it's so filled with repression and anger and betrayal thst has nothing to do with Ruth fucking her husband and everything to do with the trust of their friendship. it's such a complicated weird fucked up intense 'friendship' that I love to see and like!! sometimes my friendships w women FELT like that. the times I have felt the most hurt is when I lose a friend bc a part of me is in love w them in some way!! Ruth and Debbie are just. in love. though. and Ruth is never gonna admit it and she's gonna... be in a comp het relationship even tho she thinks Debbie is smart and sexy and she idolizes her GOD.

7. gene/finny

YES MOST OF MY PAIRINGS ARE SAD WHAT OF IT? I read this book as a sophomore in hs and I simply could not stop thinking abt how gay and in love they were. FIRST OF ALL THE metaphors!!!!!! gene as winter and finny as summer!! and how codependent and weird they were even tho finny KNEW gene broke his leg. he didn't want to believe it bc he WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. THEY WENT ON A DATE TO THE BEACH? THE PINK SHIRT? finny being the embodiment of childhood innocence and Gene literally breaking that? and killing it? once again I just love reading abt how complex jealousy is and where it comes from and also REPRESSION!!!

8. forrden

yes I'm including my own OC with @dosalesbian

I wrote abt them for FOUR YEARS. they're childhood best friends who fall in love and marry and are in love no matter what universe and are so soft and tender and healing. forrest goes thru a lot of gender exploration and aiden is just the partner I want to be!! he's goofy and LOVES HER SO MUCH AND SUPPORTS HER SO MUCH GOD!!!!

9. kuroken

they r a new one and yes once again childhood best friends but in a FUN NEW WAY that I want to explore. kenma is like disinterested in most things except gaming and whatever kuroo wants to do and has a hard time socializing bc he's SHY and is too observant! and kuroo is big and dumb and passionate but was also a stupid anxious child. I think they're those friends who are dating but don't even know they're dating or their relationship is so indescribable to themselves and others that it's hard to take any step forward or backward bc theyre SO codependent and yes. I want to explore that and read abt them more.

10. don't look at me yes im putting ryden on here

THEY WERE IN LOVE BUT COULDNT ADMIT IT AND THEN BRENDON WROTE 3 BREAKUP ALBUMS ABT RYAN? AND RYAN RELEASED A SONG THE SAME WEEK BRENDON GOT MARRIED? they're never gonna be friends again bc they can't just be friends

okay!! I tag @scottspack @dosalesbian @pattern-pals hehe

#about me

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glow-worm · 4 years

Text

How Many Times?

Lup died again and Taako's had enough. The cycle resets; the twins have an argument.

-----------------

When Lup opened her eyes, she was back on the Starblaster—in the same seat she always returned to, with the same scrapes and bruises she had gotten on a day so long ago but needed to tend to every year.

She looked around at the familiar scene, more confused than anything else because she could not remember dying.

Everyone seemed pretty sure of themselves, with the exception of Lucretia who also seemed a little out of place.

“Welcome back, ladies." Magnus said gruffly as the Starblaster wove through debris towards the next plane.

Lucretia and Lup exchanged glances, then shrugged.

Lup had died a few times already. If she wasn’t mistaken, this was probably the ninth. The IPRE crew had been at this for many years now. Considering the situation, nine times wasn’t too bad.

However, Lup seemed to be having a hard time staying alive lately. Nine deaths total so far, but the last three cycles in a row added to that count. And for all three, she had died very early on in the year.

Usually in a cycle where Lup died but Taako survived, he would greet her immediately once she reappeared on the ship at the start of a new cycle. He would stare expectantly at her chair and wait for her to come back. Most of the time he looked relieved and gave her a big smile, or a pat on the shoulder. One time he had broken down, and just grabbed her hand and held on for a while as he hid his tears behind his hat.

This time, nothing.

She looked to her right, where like clockwork her brother would always be on the reset day.

He was facing forward, expressionless. His eyes were directed towards her, but they showed no semblance of emotion. When he saw her looking at him, he gave her a small nod of acknowledgement and turned his gaze away to stare off into space.

Lup wondered what was wrong, but did not speak. Any post-death cycle recaps always had to wait until Davenport safely landed the Starblaster and the crew did at least minimal investigation of the new plane to make sure they were not in danger.

Taako was very aloof once the discussions began. Davenport and Barry led the recap, though Magnus and Merle chimed in with a joke a few times. Lup learned that she and Lucretia both kicked the bucket just five days into the cycle, leaving the guys alone for the rest of the year.

“We missed that female energy,” Merle jibed.

“Gross,” Lup said.

As Lucretia furiously took notes on Davenport’s account of the previous cycle, Lup noticed that Taako was gone.

She looked to Barry, who subtly gestured with his head to the stairs that led to the upper deck. He gave her a pat on the shoulder as she walked past him to climb up.

When Lup got to the deck, she found Taako leaning over a rail looking out at the sunset over the new planet.

The sky was full of stars which shone in spite of the last dregs of daylight. The horizon was painted teal and yellow. It was beautiful.

Taako’s ears perked slightly when he heard Lup’s footsteps, but he did not turn around.

Lup sat on a metal box that housed some of the ship’s machinery and stretched her arms. They were always sore on the reset day, and would stay stiff until she tranced that night. It was one part of the reset-routine that she had come to accept.

“So,” she prompted. “What’s up?”

Taako stood up a little straighter and looked over his shoulder at her. He turned back to the horizon, shaking his head slowly as a gentle breeze swept through his hair.

Lup sat on her hands to avoid fidgeting, and stared him down. She knew he probably wanted her to pry some more, but was not going to play that game. So she waited in silence, taking in the sunset and the landscape of the strange new plane.

It took a while, but Taako finally turned to face his sister. Although his face and body looked the same as they did every year, the expression is his eyes were different. He seemed cold and lifeless.

He let out a quiet huff and folded his arms across his chest before speaking.

“How many times am I going to have to bury you, Lup?”

She was taken aback. Lup stood up, bemused.

“Is that what this is about?” She asked. “Taako. We’ve been at this for so long. You know we always come ba—“

“Yeah, we have been at this for so long,” Taako interrupted. “But you’ve been MIA for three years in a row.”

Lup held her hands up, an eyebrow raised. She nearly laughed, “I’m sorry—are you mad at me for dying?”

He pressed a palm to his face. “No, Lup, but—”

“Because you realize there have been plenty of cycles where I’ve watched you die, right?”

“I know that, but that’s not what I—”

“What the hell happened to you last year that has you so bitter?”

Taako took a step back, his eyes defiant.

“Last year?” He repeated. “Well while we’re on the subject, how’s about I fill you in on the year before that? And the year before that? Spoiler alert! It was shitty.”

Lup balled her hands into fists, irritated, but didn’t say anything. She was ready to argue, but tried to hear him out since he apparently needed to blow off some steam.

“You realize in the last three years we’ve only been together for maybe four weeks, tops?”

She leaned over a railing, bewildered, adrenaline rising. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she thought about Taako going through daily life, cooking for the crew, and fighting off the Hunger without her for three straight years. On the few occasions she survived something that Taako did not, the nights were immeasurably lonely. With the rest of the crew needing sleep, her brother’s absence was unbearable once the others went to bed. She relaxed a little bit.

“I know how hard it can be,” she said softly. “I’m sure you had some really long nights. But it’s unfair to be mad at me when, again—you have also died a bunch of times.”

“It’s not the same,” Taako snapped.

Lup retorted with derision: “Oh, sure, it’s not the same.”

“It’s not,” he pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes tight. “Lup, when I die it’s because shit went south. When you die it’s because you pulled some ridiculous stunt!”

Taako took off his hat and set it down on a table, gathering his thoughts.

“That’s—” Lup stumbled. “That’s not—”

“I’ve seen you ripped apart by the Hunger,” Taako griped. “I’ve seen you impaled, burned, bitten, and blown up.”

He went on, “I lost you twice in a row and I just got you back and what do you do? Dive off a cliff to save some little brat who, by the way, got his shit absolutely wrecked by the Hunger at the end of the cycle.”

Lup tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She couldn’t really remember the details of her most recent death, but knew she had tried hard to save a young boy. “I—I couldn’t just let him—what, Taako, you want me to just ignore everyone we meet like you do?”

“I want you to stop throwing your lives away just because you can!” Taako exclaimed, raising his voice.

He sat down and continued, returning to a normal volume. “Lup. You’re your own individual. You know I’ve always supported the decisions you make. I’m never gonna tell you what to do. But sometimes you don’t think things through. And yeah, we always come back. For now. But...I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I just have this feeling that one day you’re gonna go somewhere I can’t follow, and you’re gonna do something stupid and get yourself in a shit situation and no one is gonna be around to get you out of it.”

Lup stood awkwardly holding her arm, feeling a little guilty.

“We’re a family, Lup. I don’t just mean you and me. I mean all seven of us,” Taako said, struggling to admit it. “Don’t you think we should try to stick together?”

“I—” She put her hands in her pockets and cut herself off, at a loss for words. Lup looked up at the sky, which was fairly dark now. The sun had set quickly. “I’m going back inside.”

Lup looked back over her shoulder as she descended the stairs. Taako was watching her with indifference, his eyes completely hollow.

She rejoined the others for a while, hearing more stories of the previous year. She cooked, but Taako did not come down to eat.

“What’s going on with Taako?” Lucretia asked.

Magnus rubbed his head. “He got attached to someone in the last cycle. We...we all did. That kid that Lup saved.” He pushed his food around on his plate. “That’s a story for another time. Just give him some space, he’ll bounce back in no time.”

Lup cocked an eyebrow, but did not press anyone for details until later on when she had some time alone with Barry.

“We all really missed you,” Barry said. “And Lucretia. It’s been weird without you two.”

“Taako’s pissed at me,” Lup grumbled.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I am too.”

Lup’s head snapped up, and she looked at him with surprise.

Barry shrugged, though his demeanor was cheerful and not confrontational.

“Your last couple of deaths have been pretty pointless,” Barry explained. “Lucretia’s was an accident, but you were reckless. You know it starts getting really difficult when we drop down to five.”

“I—was I supposed to just let him die?”

“No! But there were plenty of ways to save him that didn’t involve you plummeting to your death.”

“I was out of spell slots!”

“I wasn’t!” Barry countered. “And neither was Taako, and neither was Davenport!”

Lup shut up, a little embarrassed.

“I’m just glad to have you back,” Barry said. “Taako is, too. I know it maybe doesn’t seem like it. He’s just become a lot more independent lately. Plus with that kid following him around all year, it was a rough cycle for him.”

“What happened with that?” Lup prompted, keeping her voice low.

Barry took a breath and let it out slowly, trying to figure out how to begin. “You saved that little boy, and he—he got super depressed, actually, he felt really guilty that you died. And we told him not to worry about it, but—how could we possibly begin to explain that you were gonna just come back? So anyway, he started following Taako around. I guess cause he looks like you.”

Lup pictured a tiny human trailing after her brother and couldn’t help but laugh a little, even though she knew the story would not have a happy ending.

“Yeah—it was a sight for sure.”

“I have to say,” Lup interrupted. “That’s adorable. Was Taako good with him?”

“No,” Barry responded instantly. “Taako was kind of an asshole to him, honestly. Well, definitely an asshole.” Barry laughed a little, but his smile faded. “He tried not to get attached but how could he not? The kid wouldn’t leave him alone. And you died trying to save him. So Taako stayed with him until the end.”

Lup’s brow furrowed and she brushed a hand through her hair.

“But, hey,” Barry said. “Don’t worry about it. Like Magnus said, he just needs some time. He’ll come around. As long as you don’t get yourself killed again.”

Lup stood up, and went to go find her brother.

She knocked on his door.

“Taako?” She called softly.

She tried the door; it was unlocked. She cautiously pushed it open.

Taako was sitting on his bed, his arm draped over one knee, staring off into space. His gaze lolled to the side to see his sister.

Lup sat down next to him and, to his surprise, pulled him into a hug.

He didn’t do anything for a minute, unsure, but eventually gave in. He placed a hand on his sister’s arm and leaned in to her embrace, resting his head on hers.

“I promise,” she began, breaking the silence after a while. “I will make every effort to stay alive this entire cycle, and I will be more careful from now on.”

Taako did not respond, for he knew that was likely an empty promise.

----

Come read this on A03!

#taz #taz balance #taako #lup #balance #the adventure zone #barry bluejeans

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tired-fandom-ndn · 4 years

Text

Since I've been posting about my older ships lately, please know that I'm still bradko trash and still obsessed with pre-story and song bradko.

It's just so good, thinking about Taako when he's still angry and prickly and distrustful and ready to bolt the moment things go wrong and then meeting Brad, this big big orc with mundane hobbies and gentle hands who snorts when he laughs and has a biting wit that he hides behind a mild facade.

Taako's never fallen in love before. Not in the decade he's been on Abeir-Toril and in Faerûn, or in the century he spent on the Starblaster, or in the centuries he lived on the Two Sunned Planet with his sister. He never let his walls down enough for that, never let anyone that close to his heart in that way. But then he meets Brad and everything just feels. So right. They click in a way they never expected and before they even realize it, they've fallen in love and Taako's basically moved into Brad's apartment on the base.

They even spend some nights in Taako's apartment with the other guys, in his complicated nest of a bedroom; a round bed covered by blankets and quilts and soft pillows and canopied by heavy curtains, clothes and jewelery covering every surface, delicate crystals suspended from the ceiling that have a purpose Brad can't figure out, a vanity with an oddly tinted mirror in the corner, bolts of cloth stacked against the wall, and piles of books on math and science and magic and religion and history and everything under the sky. It's comforting, a muffled escape from the world outside, and Brad finds himself never wanting to leave.

Taako says and does weird things sometimes. He stumbles in training, like his maneuvers are designed around support from someone who isn't there. He talks about people and places and things that Brad has never heard of, and looks confused when asked for clarification, already forgetting what he said. He doesn't know how old he is, throwing out 500 or 600 years old "give or take a century", like it's a funny joke and not something that leaves a scared and hollow look in his eyes.

They ignore the gaps in his life, try to fill them with new things and new experiences, but he never loses that look.

And then Refuge happens and Taako's pulling away, quiet and tense like a cornered and wounded animal. He speaks to a memory specialist and he pulls up to his vanity to try every scrying technique he can think of and reading every book on memory alteration that he can find. He doesn't tell Brad, but doesn't pull away from the gentle comfort offered to soothe his now frequent migraines.

And then they hear a song and listen to a story and everything suddenly makes so much sense. Brad is prepared to lose him, because Taako's a hero and a scientist and so far out of his league it's not even funny. Why would someone who saved the world repeatedly was as brilliant and incredible as he was want an orc who got excited about new beer flavoring techniques and filled out paperwork for a living? But none of that matters because the moment everything settles down, he walks into his apartment and Taako is curled up on his couch with a mug of tea and they just fall back into each other.

Taako talks to him, after that. Not about the big events of the Century, because Brad already heard those, but about the small things. He talks about life on the Starblaster, people he met in the different worlds, the amazing and unique cuisine and magic and science that every world had. He talks about his life before the Starblaster, a loving aunt who gave him and Lup a cookbook that would never run out of empty pages, a childhood spent traveling and working odd jobs and struggling to survive but always having each other, his education and job with a university that he thrived in. He talks about the people he knew, the tunes he still hummed even when he couldn't remember the words, the constellations he would look at at night and the stories they had, the way that he got disoriented sometimes in a world so similar to his own but so different at the same time.

He talks about looking up at the sky and thinking about how the color is wrong, about how it's too empty to ever be the one he's familiar with.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just know that they really love each other and that, after everything, they'd love each other even more.

#bradko #taz #the adventure zone #brad bradson #taako taaco

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internutter · 4 years

Note

Baby!Angus’s first Candlenights? Either present opening, Candlenights dinner, or watching Taako stress over Candlenights dinner

“Any particular reason why your spawn is in a highchair, babe?”

“Several,” said Apa, who was doing several things at once only moreso, with extra anxiety on the side. Angus could tell. Apa always whisked or mixed faster when he was stressed about something. “One, he likes to be tall. Two, poor baby’s got a little of the separation anxiety and he’s happier when he can see what Apa’s doing. Three, we’re learning some words.”

“Any interesting ones?” teased Aunty Lup.

“Chop,” said Angus, who thought it was interesting to watch the knives turn things into chunks. “Chop, chop, chop... ‘lice! Chop, ‘lice, dice.”

“Aaaw, that’s too adorable. You’re sure I can’t steal him?”

“Go fuck’n make your own.”

“Duckie,” echoed Angus.

“Almost, sweetling. We got us a goose. Gooooose...” Which was a big pink blob somewhere beyond Angus’ range of focus. “Which counts as a dire duck, I think...”

“Only on that one world with the mega-versions of everything. Can Aunty Lulu help Ango make Maple Thumbprint Cookies?”

Angus jiggled in his chair and giggled in excitement. Cooking with Aunty Lup was the best! He got to be all kinds of messy and could play with the dough and it was always super tasty afterwards. “Map’l Lulu!”

“I think that’s a ‘yes’.”

“You’re still not stealin’ my baby, sis.”

“Oh, just make the stuffing, we’ll be making a mess. Won’t we, Ango?” Aunty Lup picked him up out of the high chair and gave him a cuddle as they danced around and she sang. “It’s a mes-sy bab-y Can-dle-nights, that’s how you know it’s fuuunnnnn... If the baby’s mess’d from top to toe, then the fun has just be-guuunnnn...”

Angus wriggled in her arms and laughed and said, “Map’l, map’l, map’l!”

Angus got to add ingredients to the bowl, and turn the handle of the sifter, and help Aunty Lup stir everything together. He got to squish the dough and leave handprints in it. He had to sit and watch as Aunty Lup added special sweet jelly to the handprints, and was yawning in his seat when they went into the oven.

“Aaawww... someone’s ready for Santa’s visit...”

“Merle better not give him a godsdamned potplant. Augh! My seasoning!”

“I’ve got ‘im, Dove. You worry about the food.” Papa had Angus in his arms and there was bath time and PJ’s and tucking in to his cradle cote with the most patient of the cats as a teddy bear.

There were delicious smells when he woke, and the cat who was with him oozed out into the bigger, greater expanse of the house tree. Angus crawled out to the opening of the larger cote to see a whole lot more grownups than usual. He could spot Apa and Aunty Lup in the kitchen, and the big shape with the blue legs had to be Uncle Barry.

“Heeeyyy, it’s the pipsqueak.” The big fuzzy shape resolved itself into Uncle Magnus. “Hello, Master Angus. Shall I be your transportation, this morning?”

“Up! Up!”

Uncle Magnus had a lot of Up to spare. Angus laughed to be yeeted briefly above everyone else’s heads.

“Oi! Careful with him...” said Papa.

“I’m careful, chill out.”

There were colourful things under the mountainous Candlenights tree. Angus could only see blobs, but they sure got his attention. They twinkled along with the fairy lights and had NOT been there the night before. One of the cats emerged from the depths over them, stretching as it went.

“Aaaah!” Angus pointed. “Colours!”

“Lots of colourful presents, yeah,” cooed Uncle Magnus. “The star of the show’s noticed the presents, and good old Santa has been here.”

“You guys owe me a new lumbar support,” grumbled Grampa Merle from under a host of cats. He was stationary, squishy, and warm. Three things the cats adored. There may or may not have been a bonus fourth with the things that were always in his beard. Angus couldn’t tell from this far away.

Apa dusted himself off. “Okay, the goose is getting cooked, we can hand out presents, now.”

“Pwesents,” echoed Angus.

“That’s the Candlenights spirit,” cooed Aunty Lup. “Gimmie love, gimmie lots, gimmie Candlenights trove.”

“That hardly rhymes, Lulu.”

“Grinch!”

Uncle Magnus put Angus down near Papa, who had distribution duty. “Oh, this one says it’s for a special little boy.”

“Must mean me,” joked Grampa Davenport.

“It’s from Santa,” rumbled Apa. “That means it’s for the baby.”

The present fit neatly into Angus’ lap, and the colourful paper was fun to play with. So much fun that he almost didn’t notice when some of it tore.

“Well, the wrapping paper’s a hit...”

“He’s not quite a year old, Luce. Let him discover.”

Oh! There were things inside the bright colourful outsides! This one was a bouncy ball! Angus tossed it up and watched it swirl with colours and sparkles as it bounced to a stop and, of course, got attacked by a couple of cats. He crawled after it, laughing. Trailing ribbons and paper that the cats pounced upon, much to the hilarity of all.

Hours passed by like that, with ripping paper and ribbons and so many fun things and cats pouncing and laughter and... and then, there was the feast. An entire table full to the brim with delicious food and a golden-brown roast goose and thumbprint cookies and things wrapped in other things and so much colourful stuff. Angus wanted to try it all.

He said, “YAH!” to everything, even the dreaded vegetables, because Apa and Aunty Lup made it all look and smell so attractive.

This just had to be the best day in the whole world!

[TAZ Prompts Remaining: 2]

[Be sure to visit internutter (dot) org for details on how to support this artist]

#reader request #taz #taz: balance #baby angus adventures #candlenights #loyalshipper

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ticklefits · 5 years

Text

Distant Yearning

AO3 LINK !

the adventure zone : balance | taagnus | words : 5364

summary : Magnus remembers Taako acting a little weird about something and it got him curious enough to ask about it, much to Taako's embarrassment.

“Hey, pst, Taako -- you up?”

It has to be at least two in the morning when the soft, yet audible rumble of vocals belonging to Magnus pierces the late night silence of the room. Unsurprising, Taako is awake, albeit not by choice ( insomnia’s a real burden ). Merle and Robbie, stationed messily underneath their blankets, remain in sound deep sleep; made obvious by the occasional gargantuan snores that drag from the dwarf’s mouth and the smaller ones from Robbie. At first, Taako ignores Magnus’s call, opting instead to stare at the nearest wall within the room’s darkness, groggy and somewhat agitated from the lack of a much needed repose. It’s only when the warrior addresses him again, and then a third time, that Taako raises his upper frame with the support of his elbows, leaning over the side of the wooden frame that separates each bed, to peer down into the bottom bunk and hisses out “Mags, it is two in the goddamn morning."

Magnus seems to stiffen at that, instinctively delivering an apologetic smile to the smaller elf . “Yeah, ah, my bad, but listen, something’s been weighing pretty heavy on my mind for awhile and it has to do with you.”

Those words alone cause the contents of Taako’s stomach to churn, a sense of anxiety already beginning to creep from the recesses of his mind. He forces himself to sustain his semi-irritated expression and conceal any display of how that singular sentence is already making him sweat with anticipation of what Magnus is going to say.

“...Well? Ain't got all night my man, spill the tea already.” Taako urges, all too impatient to hear what is so goddamn important about himself that Magnus couldn't have kept this in until a decent hour -- namely no sooner than noon .

The larger man's visage contorts in an expression that reads half curiosity and half apprehension, as if he has abruptly decided that maybe he shouldn't have mentioned anything at all. It's too late for that though; he's got Taako's nerves whirling around like flies at a summer barbeque and if he doesn't come out with it already, it's very plausible that Taako will end up forcing it out of him one way or another. He carries his own chest of secrets, the same as everyone else, and the fear that someone, somehow, might have unlocked it and discovered something detrimental about him, terrifies the absolute shit out of him. With another gesture of urgency, Taako finally persuades Magnus to continue on.

"Uh, okay, okay, well -- this might just be stupid, or I might've just been imagining things when it happened, y'know, 'cause lotsa stuff was sorta happening all at once and there was the void fish and it's great, big, everything and--"

"Magnus, you have one more chance - count it - one more chance to tell me whatever stupid thing you have to tell me before I put you back to sleep myself." But Taako did register hearing something about the void fish, which has only served to confuse him further. What could he possibly have to do with the void fish?

"Okay! Okay, okay, so… uh.. You remember when we first met Johann in the elevator? And he was super sad and I didn't know the reason why, but I wanted him to be happy like any ol' good citizen would?"

"... Yeaaah..?"

"So I tickled him." Taako has to clench the bed frame a bit to bite back a shiver at that word. " Normal reactions all around, except… I noticed you were acting a little.. Off?"

Oh gods. Oh gods. Oh gods. If Taako's suspicions and anxieties are true, then Magnus discovering this particular secret is probably one of the worst ones he could know. He delivers his best facade of indifference, simply nodding and allowing Magnus to continue - if he begins to act out again at the mention of it, it might set Magnus off.

"The first time, I was like, whatever, he's probably just weirded out, and that's fine, like that's definitely a Taako thing, but then when I did it again is when things kinda… I dunno, intensified maybe? That might not be the right word but."

The blond could only hope this was a dream. A horribly taunting dream where Magnus had unearthed one of his deepest secrets, that absolutely no one knew about him, that was so well concealed he couldn't even begin to piece together how someone could end up knowing unless Taako himself had screwed the pooch. He goes silent in his internal prayers for this all to be a scene of his imagination and hopefully, his insomnia will do its duty and kick in again, waking him before any additional embarrassment can rear its ugly head.

"You were fidgeting and looking away from Johann and I, but sometimes your eyes would flicker back to us, and then away again. I swear I even saw your lips twitching. And you had this look like you were… yearning? I dunno, like I said, it could be hella stupid and I could be reading way too much into things."

Quietude sustains from Taako, almost too far gone into his own thoughts and wishes for none of this to be reality, as Magnus single handedly picked apart every little subtle sign that Taako had unknowingly granted his vision with, as if the elf had lain daisies out for him to effortlessly pluck. If he were any less freaked right now, he could commend Magnus for his observational skills. Finally, Taako gulps down the lump that infiltrated his throat and constricted the breath he couldn't take while Magnus had been speaking, willing the sweat that was beginning to form at his temple to dry.

"I'm.. I'm pretty sure you're just grasping at straws, Mags. I was just.. Offput 'cause you… Did that to a total stranger." He bluffs, heterochromatic eyes rolling to attempt to emphasize his faux apathy towards the situation.

"Uh huh," Magnus hums, and his stare towards Taako is all of a sudden intense, as if peering deep beyond the lavender - jade of his irises, to see what the elf has hidden behind those long, thick lashes of his. "And so… what if I decided to do it to someone who isn't a total stranger?"

Taako's eyes widen. His breathing begins to cut short again and his toes curl under the blanket on instinct. What.. The hell is going on right now?

"What if I decided to tickle you?"

That's when Taako chokes. He chokes on fucking air, has to level himself after a brief, strangled coughing fit so as to refrain from waking up their other two roommates; the last thing the wizard needs is two extra idiots looking to embarrass him. His gaze returns to Magnus, incredulous in expression, with plump lips slightly agape and cheeks tinted in obvious roseate hues. It's been at least two minutes and he hasn't delivered any sort of response other than nearly asphyxiating himself on oxygen out of sheer surprise of the fighter's words. What's the point in even saying something like that? To get a reaction out of him? To cause him more chagrin than he's already suffering with? He doesn't possess the spoons to ask Magnus that question right now, especially with the way that amber eyes maintain that focused gaze on him -- Taako meets his line of sight for a second and instantly regrets the decision.

Butterflies assault the insides of his stomach, making it nigh impossible to look Magnus in the eye right now. Could he have… the same thing Taako has? Despite Taako's palpable discomposure in regards to it, he knows that while it isn't exactly a common thing, it also isn't something totally outlandish - especially compared to some of the other kinks has been unfortunately exposed to. His blush darkens against his will, finally, slowly, providing a verbal response to his still waiting companion.

"You… um.. Why would you even..?"

Magnus' features revert back a little bit, growing soft and curious once again. "Because… I'm kinda the same, I guess? It's kinda been a thing for me for awhile. I'm assuming it's like that for you too."

"I… I-I gotta say Magnus, I'm learning a lot more about you than I thought I would and that I think would rather not know." But there's bemusement in those words; a signal that means Taako doesn't really mean what he says. At least, not all of it. Magnus only releases a small, deep chuckle and shrugs his broad shoulders.

"I guess it'd be easier to say, that I couldn't really help myself when I started noticing the signs you were putting out. You have some really.. Kinetic energy. It was like… I could feel some sort of invisible pull from you."

That only darkens Taako's freckled cheeks even more. This entire conversation has been nothing but one giant trip for him , what with Magnus not only discovering his inclination for tickling but even bringing how own desire for it to light. What's even more wild? Magnus definitely wants to tickle him -- his eyes proved that he was practically hungry for it, and gods, Taako can still feel the goosebumps decorating his flesh from the sheer magnitude of the fighter's earlier peer. On one hand, this could be terrible. Sure, he and Magnus have some sort of weird, unspoken chemistry between them and it shows when they interact with each other. Magnus is steadily learning how to handle someone like Taako and it's crazy, Taako thinks, but at the same time, a… comforting sort of thought? On the other hand, Taako has been in the worst craving moods ever since he witnessed Magnus and Johann. Even before that, the elf would be burdened with the occasional craving and have no way of relief. Magnus could… maybe… become that outlet, and if what the other says is true, then Taako, could do the same for him in return.

Yet and still, he and Magnus have a long journey ahead of them and still many paths to cross and situations to deal with it… this sort of thing is more than just a silly prank or a playful way to tease to Taako. It's a very personal and intimate extension of himself, something not another soul has shared with him. Until this burly, dog loving dork anyway… and perhaps, this some kind of a sign.

A sign that his life is, finally, starting to shine brighter than he thought it could.

After what felt like hours of mulling over the thought, Taako speaks again. "... You know this isn't just some childish shit for me, right? It's the real deal." Without truly thinking about his actions, Taako's eyes flash at Magnus and are granted the same stare that he had earlier in return. " ---- Think you can handle that?"

Magnus had wondered for the longest time if he had overstepped his boundaries by his exposure and request, up until Taako's rebuttal of a challenge and suddenly, his fingers were twitching, apexes heating up with the urge to touch and stroke. Imaginably, his intentions in the beginning had been somewhat selfish -- but can he truly be blamed? For a gorgeous wildcard like Taako to have any semblance of submission towards a kink like this, especially one shared by him as well, it's honestly astounding. How can Magnus pass up this chance? It would be a whole crime to do so.

"I think the real question is if you can handle me." He shoots back and with the way Magnus' lips curl at the corners into an eager half smirk, Taako could melt into the mattress right on point. It's been much too long since someone was able to instill in him such avidity -- Magnus managed to do so in a one single sentence. At this point, he really isn't leaving Taako much of a choice.

".. I'd say tomorrow, but since it's already tomorrow Magnus, later today then. We'll see how good you are."

A chuckle breaches from Magnus, but he nods in agreement, "Looking forward to it," and with that, slinks back under the cover of the wooden frame of his bunk, leaving Taako to his own thoughts, whilst he too crawls back into his own bed -- though neither of them actually get much sleep from that point on.

The first sight of dawn rises over the horizon and a percentage of the b.o.b rises with it, including merle and robbie, neither of which find it especially necessary to wake their other two roommates for breakfast just yet and end up leaving them alone in the room. Magnus is the first to wake, groggily with a rugged yawn as he exits the bunk and stretches as far as his limbs will allow, animating refreshed muscles and joints. Upon renewed awareness, the fight distinctly recalls the conversation he had with Taako hours prior and his fingers suddenly flex on instinct, cheeks heating up if only for the realization that this was actually going to happen. Circling around, his gaze settles on the still sleeping wizard, observing him with a softness to his eyes that Magnus has yet to see another with; he seems so peaceful when he’s actually sleeping… beautiful, even. Magnus can peer at him up close and see just how long his lashes really are, how his freckles are bunched together on the bridge of his nose, but spread out over his cheeks and just keep going, covering his skin in various areas and varying degrees.. It appears so soft and smooth, and thought of being granted the opportunity to touch it as thoroughly as he will soon is enough to make his fingers flex again, impatiently this time, forcing him to hold back a chuckle at himself.

The need for a distraction is strong, so Magnus busies himself with dressing and locating the mess hall to gather up consumables for himself and for Taako too, considering he figures neither will be leaving the room much today. A short conversation with Merle and Robbie transpires, inwardly flushing relief when the two mention they have their own businesses to attend to and probably won’t be back for awhile. Magnus gives an acknowledging goodbye without telling either of them much of his and Taako’s affairs of course, and begins his tread back to the room with as much subtle swiftness as his large self can manage.

When Taako finally rouses from slumber, he yawns and stretches high, slender digits rubbing lightly at his eyes to rid them of sleep crust and adjust to the bright morning rays. With a lazy gaze around the room, he hoists himself up to look over the frame and comes to witness Magnus on the floor, setting out a few breakfast pastries and savory treats on two trays. He senses eyes on him and glances up to Taako, who in lieu gives him a wriggly - fingered wave, making Magnus smile and gesture for him to climb down. Taako nods and wastes no time in doing so, definitely perusing the food as his stomach growls in desire. Once out of bed, he sits cross - legged in front of the tray that isn’t already in front of Magnus and begins to chow down on what catches his eye. Magnus does the same, inviting a comfortable, though temporary silence between the two.

“Sooo…” Magnus begins once they’ve both finished their meal, unable to really look at one another in the eye, “Food was good.”

Flaxen gold locks sway lightly with Taako’s nod, smoothing out the wrinkled chiffon of his sleepwear, “..Yeah. Pretty good.”

It’s another few minutes of silence, before Magnus scoots himself around and closer to Taako, immediately invoking a settlement of heat to color the blond’s cheeks in anticipation. “Listen… I don’t wanna make you any kind of uncomfortable, Taako. This all sprang up pretty fast, so if you don’t want to do this, we definitely don’t have to and can act like last night didn’t happen if that’s what you want.”

That definitely isn’t what he wants; not in the slightest. The awkwardness that plagues the air around them isn’t exactly due to the coming act itself, but mostly from Taako’s own insecurities and the fear of vulnerability that approaches with this sort of thing. He trusts Magnus enough.. That isn’t the issue. He needs to be able to trust himself not to ruin something good before anything even occurs. A sigh through his nostrils breaks the impending tension that had been building while Magnus patiently waited for Taako’s answer, legs scooting so that his entire body faces the other and with a quick once over of Magnus, he extends both arms and offers them to the fighter. Magnus pauses, giving off a confused stare until he slowly lifts his own arms and mimics Taako’s motion with a small tilt of his head. A roll of his eyes ensues, but at least Magnus’ clueless has an amusing charm to it -- especially right now, helping to further evaporate some of the rigidity of the situation.

“No, dork -- touch me.” Taako lays his arms within Magnus’ open palms and the reaction from Magnus is immediate: a small “oh” sound, as if surprised, and a realization from his earlier ponderance does in fact conclude that Taako has really.. really soft skin. Unlike Magnus’ own flesh, which is scarred and calloused from his days of carpentry, to the battles of current times. Taako probably notices this too, from the thoughtful expression that perked his features once he actually felt Magnus’ fingers close around his smaller wrists. They remain like this, Magnus’s hands wrapped around Taako’s arms like loose handcuffs, simply getting a feel for his skin and determining a course of action. While brushing up the underskin of his arms, Taako squirms and a little whimper pulls from his throat before he realizes it. Magnus definitely takes notice of that reaction and repeats his action, watching with a blossoming delight at how Taako squirms a little bit harder that time and has to bite his lip to capture the noise before it leaks out again; however, it’s a little too late for that and timidness is suddenly out of the door.

Before Taako can truly register what happened, he discovers himself with the seat of Magnus’ lap, ample hands positioning themselves on his sides but haven’t dug in. Rose paints over freckled cheeks again, daring his eyes to rise and look at him questioningly, but words don’t come to formulate a verbal response. Magnus simply smiles down at him, half apologetic and half joyful. “Sorry.. I’m really trying to be patient, but you’re already killing me here.”

Even with the advantage of their positions, Magnus is still polite, respectful in his own way despite his seemingly growing impatience. Taako actually finds it really cute, endeared by the duality of the fighter’s morals. He relaxes against the other’s chest then, a signal to Magnus that he’s comfortable enough to permit him to do as he pleases (within reason) and Magnus isn't about to let the chance go to waste. Therein, his fingers commence their dutiful exploration, spidering along Taako's sides gently while moving in an ascending and descending motion. Taako's reaction is instantaneous, with choked giggles leaking from between plump lips that he binds in a tight line, attempting to keep the budding laughter captive within the hollows of his cheeks and throat -- obviously this doesn't pan out the way he had hoped. Especially when Magnus treads further south and hits a rather sensitive area: the sections of flesh at Taako's hips that separates meat from muscle, which has him squirming almost frantically and the giggles that bubbled from his chest, already amplifying into soft , full on belly laughter.

"M-Mahahagnus -- wait, wahahahit! Nohoho -- nooohohohot theeehehehere!"

"Not there? Not there… Oh! Oh, you mean, right here?" Magnus teases, delivering impish squeezes to each hip and earning the reward of a high pitched squeal from the elf writhing in his lap. It's invigorating to know that they've only just begun and Taako is already unraveling at the seams by his hands. Though momentary, he ponders whether the wizard's prior challenge was one of bluff, lack of experience, or he's so reactive simply because he truly is that sensitive. Whatever the case may be, Magnus is certainly soaking in every wriggle and giggle that blesses him.

"Aaahaa-! Mmmahahahaha, n-nooohohoho, stop, stahahahap!" Taako squeals while he continues to flail about, only to release a small squeak of surprise when Magnus does halt his tickling and glance up at him, a shy "I didn't actually mean that--" on the tip of his tongue, but the larger interrupts him before speech can form.

"Sorry, hold on, I should've asked before we started, I got carried away -- have you thought of a safeword? I know that when you say things like stop or no, you don't actually mean them, & that's fine and all, but I'm the type of guy that needs to have communication so I know when to really stop." He even temporarily removes his hands from Taako's hips, at which a whine leaks from the smaller's lips from the loss of contact.

"Um… if I'm being honest? No. I've never really had a need for one before now, I guess." Slender shoulders shrugged nonchalantly, his skin prickling with impatience at the continued lack of Magnus' fingers tickling away. The aforementioned fighter nods, a glaze of thought spreading over his features for a minute or so. "Alright… So, take a minute to think one up real quick. Then we can continue."

A whine nearly slips from Taako's lips at that, but he fathoms the importance of having a safeword for stuff like this. He can already tell from the concise amount of tickling Magnus has enacted so far that he'll definitely need one if things become too overwhelming. Additionally, Taako wholeheartedly appreciates the concern for his well-being. "That's a very Magnus thing of you to do." he teases him a bit, before actually mulling over what word to use. "Hm.. Ah.. Let's just use milk. Easy to remember, not stupid enough for me to be too embarrassed to call out."

Magnus smiles and as if in reward, plants his hands back upon the wizard's sides, beaming a little brighter when said wizard squeaks and rattles in his lap a little from the returned contact. "Sounds good to me. I'm gettin' back to it now." With that warning, thick extremities dig back into the skin of Taako's sides, garnering a prompt explosion of giggles and squirming once again. Even though Magnus hasn't done much yet, Taako's already gone extra sensitive, with little ripples of electricity riding his skin with every stroke and dip of the fighter's skilled fingers, causing Taako to actually wonder what he's gotten himself into.

"M-mmmahaa-! Mahaahahahahagnus, plehehehehease!"

"Pleeeease what? Change spots? Gladly." He's all too curious about the rest of Taako's body; even decided on a game -- a probably evil game, appropriately named: Find the Death Spot. To keep the elf from guessing his movements or next location, Magnus has one hand poking and prodding all over the expanse of his torso, while the other acts more strategically, utilizing claw rubs and squeezes to better assess Taako's sensitivity in that area. That hand hoists up from his hip, marking tickles along the way until Magnus reaches the top of his ribs and Taako absolutely loses it.

"N-no! Nonononohohoho! Oh gohohods, shit-! Shihihihihit, not thehehehere! Ah! Ahahaa--!" Taako's mouth hangs agape as laughter pours through like an even water flow, ringed hands pushing at Magnus' own halfheartedly, but the safeword never comes despite the rest of Taako's pleas, so Magnus simply attaches both hands that sweet spot and goes to town for a bit. In lieu, Taako tries to curl up and pull his knees to his chest to protect his ribs, but all that really does is trap the other's fingers in there, allowing him to work undisturbed by the elf's own attempts at pushing his hands away. He squeals when Magnus seems to punish him for his mistake by poking in between as many ribs as he can reach until Taako has to let his knees down so that Magnus can move positions -- if he even does.

"Y'know, it's pretty cute that your ribs are this ticklish. I think next time, I'll play them like piano keys and make you a fun little song. ~ ' The tease is completely dreadful and it brings a new splash of pink to Taako's cheeks, ears, and neck, to which Magnus is totally delighted to see. His laughter only seems to raise in pitch and volume with each passing minute; Taako hadn't the slightest idea that Magnus was this good! Honestly, who the hell has he been practicing on to be able to bring someone near to tears like this? It was wholly unfair, especially if you count in the fact they've only been at this for about ten minutes -- Taako had planned on making this last as long as he could manage, but with the tickling competence that Magnus is effortlessly dishing out right now, that wish isn't appearing very probable.

Magnus' chest suddenly rumbles with a curious hum and Taako knows that can't mean great news for him. He's trying to anticipate where and how Magnus will strike next, but he isn't granting him any hints, the big bully. His skin is on edge, zapped with extra ticklish just waiting for Magnus' fingers to act as conductors for the currents again; yet when all Taako receives are light spiderings over his stomach (enough to reignite his squeaks and giggles), a foreboding sense of trepidation occurs, like the calm before the storm. He feels Magnus deciding to migrate from his stomach and gulps at the thought of him attacking his hips again -- only to realize that he isn't stopping there, and instead, rests the flat of his palms right atop the meat of Taako's thighs, wherein the elf's face flares with heat and long, pierced ears twitch perceptively, daring to observe what Magnus does next.

He can definitely feel Taako's eyes bearing down into the backs of his hands, just bracing for whatever he ends up doing. It's a powerful feeling and Magnus is soaking it all up with a grin brightening his features. However, he doesn't move his hands yet, simply keeping their positions steady while leaning closer to Taako's ear. "-- Is this alright? I don't wanna touch you anywhere you're not comfortable with."

The wispy strands of Magnus' sideburns only tickle the hypersensitive skin of his ears, forcing Taako to snap down on his bottom lip from the threat of an embarrassing squeal trying to burst from his mouth. After a few moments, Taako finally deems himself calm enough to answer, though completely refuses to even peek in Magnus' general direction; in fact, one of his own hands goes to promptly conceal half of his face as he succumbs to abashment anyway. " … Do what you gotta do my man. Pretty sure I'm handlin' you better than you thought I would, huh? Hope you got more tricks up your sleeve than that."

Magnus can't refrain from laughing softly at Taako's hardass front -- he pretty much fathoms that's all it is, considering how much the elf has melted into him from the way Magnus' fingers have treated him thus far. That's just another part of Taako's charm, and if he's being honest, Magnus thinks it's cute as shit. It makes his fingers itch for another opportunity to make Taako squeal and laugh and eat the sass-laden words he just spoke. He proceeds to do just that, hands springing back to life with soft squeezes to the tops of Taako's thighs that already send him into frantic giggles and squirms.

"S-Shi--! Shihihihihihit--!" His hands push at Magnus', yet seem to be pin them down upon his skin rather than off. The fighter can't tell if that was intentional or not, but he certainly is going to make sure that Taako feels every result of his action. He digs into the sides the wizard's thighs in circular motions, alternating between faster and rougher or slower and softer, all the while dishing out the occasional squeeze and Taako absolutely loses it.

"MahAAAHAHAHAHA!" His laughter breaks free like a cracked dam with too much pressure and finally overflowing; it's loud, pitch and octave raising to a level Magnus didn't know Taako could achieve (honestly, neither did he) and for a second, he's worried that someone may hear him and wonder what the hell was going on for him to be screeching like he is. But Magnus can't find it in himself to care all too much -- and you wouldn't either if you got to see the same sight as him: Taako with nearly his entire visage painted in hues of rose, flushed ears flicking about in what he can only assume to be excitement or overwhelm, plump lips broken apart with a wide grin that showed every single pearly white and the best part of it all? Taako is absolutely glowing, even more so than his beauty normally is. Anyone would be able to clearly visualize how much he's genuinely enjoying this despite his half-hearted pleas for the larger male to cease. It's enough to bring Magnus a blush of his own, never wanting any of this to end.

Yet, when Magnus swears he hears the strangled, half-laugh, half-whine of the word milk, he halts all movement, immediately moving his hands off of Taako and setting them on his own thighs. He's still smiling, but it's softer and more apologetic than anything. "You okay, tough guy?" He teases, his voice is so gentle, almost barely above a whisper while Taako gulps down excessively deep breaths, taking back the oxygen that was stolen with every note of his guffawing.

"D.. Don't patronize me, ahahasshole… This is gonna be your f-first and only.. victory…" Magnus is silent for a minute, simply soaking up the fruits of his labor while the aforementioned elf still continues to pull an act even while looking and feeling as ruined as he is; combat or pranks wise, Magnus would have had a real reason to honestly fear what Taako's threats would entail, but for this? The ex carpenter knows he has a pretty significant advantage. Still, it's just as cute as earlier -- Magnus is having trouble refraining from nuzzling into the top of his head, knowing that wouldn't end well for him. So he simply settles for the view, leaning back as Taako regains his bearings. "Next time won't be so easy for you."

"... Oh. So there's gonna be a next time, huh?"

Taako glances back at him as if his sentence wasn't spoken in common, "What, you thought you were gonna win a one and done? Not on your life buddy boy, better exercise those fingers up 'cause you're gonna be bowing with hand cramps to the unbreakable Taako next time."

Magnus covers his mouth on a laugh, rolling his eyes a bit. "Oh yeah, lookin' forward to that mess."

A yawn interrupts the unbreakable Taako's next statement, his hand reaching up to block the breathy sigh that leaks from his mouth. "Mmm… but, for now, as next time's loser, your punishment is to hold me while I nap.." Taako's yawn was apparently infectious, noted so as Magnus releases one of his own, suddenly too tired to protest or argue that it's probably not the best idea to sleep in the middle of the afternoon. He wordlessly follows the wizard as he lifts off of his lap and makes a wobbly trail to the lower bunk where Magnus sleeps, unceremoniously flopping atop the mattress and curling underneath the blanket, with the bigger adventurer sliding in behind him. He spoons up against Taako, curling an arm around his waist to snuggle into him better, to which Magnus hears a low, grumbly, "And no funny business Burnsides."

"Wouldn't dream of it," comes the sleepy reply, but Taako doesn't see the smile upon his lips or the fingers crossed inside of his mind.

#taagnus #magnus burnsides #taako #taako taaco #taz #tickling #tickle fic #taz balance #the adventure zone #taako the wizard

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grosscoldtea · 5 years

Text

Here’s the Tea: Why Taako, Kravitz, and Taakitz are Both Overrated and Toxic af

Look, I like TAZ just as much as the next person, but the fandom needs to calm down with the dynamic between Taako and Kravitz.

For those who are fortunate enough not to be aware of how the fandom portrays the fandom, I’ll give you some background. Because of his past, the fandom shows the wizard Taako as a meek, weak, broken man who feels nothing but anxiety and depression, lamenting his terrible past with (who the fandom claims is) an abusive ex-boyfriend Sazed. Kravitz, on the other hand, is a strong, unbreakable, man with a will and mental health as strong as carbon steel. You can see already how they fandom likes to pair these two up, obviously. Taako is the tiny bunny, cowering in the corner and Kravitz is the therapy machine with hot cocoa and a blanket in hand to attend to Taako’s every need.

Please don’t get me wrong -- I’m not saying that Taakitz is all bad. Nor is it only about Taako and his mental illness(es). But the majority of the fandom constantly floods this relationship with Taako’s problems, like it’s something to be proud of. Just go on AO3 or wattpad or wherever else and you’ll see what I’m talking about. The trope is so overused and romanticized and glamorized and twisted in such a way that makes Taako’s problems the only focus on the relationship.

I wish I could say I liked Taakitz like every other TAZ fan. But I just can’t. The two characters were only showcased a couple times, with very little chemistry, mind you, and just because they’re a MLM couple, the fandom falls head over heels for them. Carey x Killian and Sloane x Hurley, both WLW ships with great chemistry and interesting stories, never got the same large reception as Taakiz did. And I relate that to the large population of “fujoshis,” or yaoi fans, in the TAZ fandom. It’s so much easier to fetishize and thus “love” MLM ships than it is to love WLW ships. Because if this fetishization of their gay relationship, Taakitz became the brand baby for TAZ and all the others fell into oblivion, much to my and many others’ dismay.

Now you’re probably wondering “where the toxicity is in all this?” Don’t worry, it’s there. I’m going to take a sidetrack to discuss “kinning.” Many people in the TAZ community “kin,” or largely relate to, one or more of the characters as a way to cope with things, or maybe just for fun. I’m not saying kinning is bad. It’s really interesting and imo a great coping mechanism. The problem is, however, that some fans kin as Taako, because they relate to how the fandom portrays him, as I discussed earlier. It’s a slippery slope of merely relating to him, to replicating all his problems because one feels they have to, to truly kin with him. If the fandom portrayed taako in a more recovery-centric light, there would be no problem at all. But he is the poster child for mental illness -- eating disorders, self harm, suicidal ideation, PTSD, OCD, BPD, depression, anxiety, just to name a few of the mental illnesses the fandom speculates Taako has.

One with PTSD may kin as him. If Taako actually showed recovery, that’d be great! However, so many fanfictions, fanart, and headcannons show Taako getting worse and worse, which in turn glamorizes his illnesses. That person who kins as Taako may then see that glamour attributed to Taako’s illnesses as a glamour of their own and thus follow the downward spiral so many in the fandom love to fetishize.

Now that I’ve covered kinning with Taako alone, I can get to how this connects to Taakitz, itself. As I’ve said, Taako is portrayed as meek and mentally ill. But what about Kravitz? He’s strong, the polar opposite of Taako. He’s big and protective and can save Taako from everything, even his mental illness. He’s busy and has a “job,” yet if Taako is having a panic attack or a flashback, he can leave and be there for Taako at the drop of a hat (especially since he has those ultra convenient portal abilities). He is patient and tolerates Taako at his worst, even if he hits and slaps him. At first this seems great! I have depression and anxiety and I know if someone was like that, who could take away all my problems, I’d love that! But unfortunately, NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS.

The portrayal of Kravitz in this relationship is shown less as a significant other and more of a tool Taako uses to “cure” himself of all his problems. Kravitz is a tool. A therapist. He’s prescription medication that the psychiatrist, Dr. Kravitz, prescribes to Taako to take to feel better. Not only does this grossly exaggerate the tasks that significant others have, it sets unreasonable expectations for those who relate to Taako. Rather than expecting to fight the battle yourself with the SUPPORT of Kravitz, you may expect to have Kravitz fight the battle for you, which is no less than an impossible feat. And the consequences of these exaggerated expectations can be fatal. Say someone who kins as Taako has a significant other (who relates to Kravitz). The “Taako” of relationship may increasingly rely on the “Kravitz,” expecting more and more unrealistic and fanciful things. And what if their Kravitz retaliates? Says “I can’t do this” or “This is too much for me?” The Taako may feel disillusioned if their “Kravitz” can’t save them from their mental illness; rather than trying to recover through therapy or counceling, they rely solely on the role of their significant other as “Kravitz” to cure them. This is a dictionary example of a toxic and codependent relationship.

You can say that Taako also gets help from the Tres Horny Boys, or maybe has a therapist and psychiatrist he sees on the side. But the fandom never shows this. Just as he’s the face of mental illness in the TAZ fandom, he can’t recover or he’ll lose that title. So Taako is only shown to rely on Kravitz. It’s not just for the illusion that Taako’s illnesses are romantic or tragically beautiful, but the Taakitz ship floats almost solely on the base of Care-Taker-Kravitz, and Poor Broken Taako. If the fandom were to make Taako go to anyone else for help and support, the fandom would lose most of the basis of the Taakitz relationship, and thus, they don’t show that. The ship Taakitz is already pretty shallow so why lose the one thing that makes it seemingly substantial?

If Taakitz was portrayed in a more recovery-centric light, if Taako was shown to be focused on his recovery and on interpersonal relationships outside of just Kravitz, if Kravitz was shown as an equal to Taako rather than just a tool, this ship would not be so dangerous. However, because of the fandom’s portrayal of it, it’s toxic. If this is how the fandom will continue to show the dynamic between Taako and Kravitz, no one should attempt to replicate it. It’s unhealth and downright dangerous for either party involved.

If you can relate to what I said about Taako, please get help. There’s more to life than just mental illness and as difficult as recovery is, it’s so much better than whatever you’re currently dealing with.

If you relate to Kravitz, you’re more than just a tool for someone else’s recovery. You don’t deserve to be put in such a codependent situation. If you are in a relationship like that, please talk to your partner. You are there to help them, not carry the burden on your own. And you deserve support, too.

#taakitz #taako #kravitz #taz kravitz #the adventure zone #taz #taz taako #taz taakitz #the zone cast #yes this is a serious post #please dont be like this #unpopular opinion

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