#synthpop confessions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nameless-ken · 2 months

Text

Silent Confessions, Loud Masks - Billy Hargrove x Reader Series

(Please reblog!!!)

Happy reading! Comment below to be added to taglist.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: mostly fluff & angst, cursing

Introduction | Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three

Masterlist

(song for this chapter <3)

You and Robin weave through the bustling corridors of Starcourt Mall, the newest vibrant hub of Hawkins. The air is alive with chatter, the scent of fresh pretzels, and the pulse of '80s synthpop playing in every store.

“I can't wait for the homecoming game, seriously. The whole band has been putting in extra hours, perfecting our routine. It's going to be epic.” Robin exclaims, pulling you into a store full of dresses.

“Yeah, you guys have been killing it in practice. Honestly, it's the only reason I ever show up to those games.” Robin laughs, but there's a hint of nervousness behind it. “Well, there's another reason I'm excited. You know, besides the game.”

“Oh yeah? What's that?” You question her, racking through overly puffy dresses. Robin hesitates for a moment, her fingers fidgeting with a dress in front of her.

“It's... it's Vickie. I've been wanting to ask her to the dance, but I'm always so nervous around her. We're positioned beside each other in the marching band, and I can't stop thinking about her.”

“Robin, you should totally go for it. You'll never know unless you try.” Robin's expression flickers with uncertainty, her shoulders sagging slightly.

“I wish it were that easy, but you know how it is in this town. If anyone found out... I'd be the talk of Hawkins.”

“Hey, you know I'll always have your back, no matter what. And whoever you choose to be with, they'll be lucky to have you.” Robin smiles gratefully, her eyes glistening with emotion.

“Thanks, you're the best. So, what about you? Anyone special you're thinking about going to the dance with?” You shrug nonchalantly, avoiding her gaze but Robin sees through your casual facade, a knowing smirk playing on her lips.

“Come on, spill the beans. I know there's someone you've got your eye on.” You roll your eyes playfully, but her words linger in your mind.

“Maybe someone like Billy?” You freeze, feeling heated just from the sound of his name. “You don’t have to tell me what’s going on between you two but I know you better than anyone and I can tell there’s something there. So, why don’t you take your own advice and do something about it?”

You know she’s right but you can’t help the feeling of rejection sink in that is more than likely to happen if you were to ask him. No matter how many small moments you’ve shared, you're afraid it hasn’t been enough for Billy to be comfortable showing you off like that. People in this town would consider that something serious and maybe sometimes, you wish it was.

"Moving on," you remark, pushing aside the tumultuous thoughts about Billy and the complexities of your feelings for him. You take a deep breath, focusing on the present moment.

"So, are we aiming for cute and flirty or bold and daring for the dance?" Robin's voice breaks through your internal turmoil, bringing you back to reality.

You glance at the racks of dresses, each one shimmering with its own unique charm. With a determined smile, you shake off the lingering doubts and dive into surveying every dress on the rack.

"Cute and flirty, I think," you reply and grab the perfect dress, wanting to pick something that you like but also might have a certain pair of eyes on you the whole night.

You emerge from the fitting rooms, twirling and admiring your reflection in the mirror, Robin being your usual hype woman.

“Yeah Billy won’t be able to take his eyes off you.” Robin teases as you walk back in the dressing room and pull the curtain shut, shooting out your middle finger at her and she lets out a boisterous laugh.

You walk with Robin towards the entrance of the field, the excitement of the homecoming game palpable in the air.

“I’ll catch you after.” Robin says and you nod, waving her off and she rushes to join the rest of the marching band.

As you approach the ticket booth, you fish out the necessary cash and exchange it for your ticket. Ticket in hand, you move past the bottom of the bleachers. That’s when you see him.

Billy and his friends huddling beneath the bleachers, the acrid scent of smoke drifting towards you. Your eyes meet Billy's, and a shiver runs down your spine as he sends you a knowing wink, a silent message passing between you. You quickly avert your gaze, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention.

Feeling a knot form in your stomach, you focus on the ground beneath your feet, your heart pounding in your chest. Ignoring the emotions fostering within, you make your way up the metal bleachers, the seats creaking beneath your weight.

Finally reaching a seat near the top, you take a deep breath. A part of you wishes you could’ve walked up to him without the fear of judgement from his friends and a part of you wishes to keep what you have secret because in those moments of just the two of you, it’s something so special that you want to keep between you both.

You don’t really know anything about football. As the game starts, the crowd grows louder and louder, to the point where you can’t handle the shouting anymore. After you watch Robin and the true stars of the evening finish their halftime routine, you make your way back down the bleacher steps, the slight quietness of below easing the pain in your ears.

“Tired of the game already?” You look over, noticing Billy’s lone form in the shadows.

“Never cared for it honestly.” You respond, walking closer to him, finding the familiar cloud of smoke surrounding him. “You know, if you keep smoking like that, it’ll kill you.”

“Let’s hope.” You can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or serious. You hope for the first.

“Why are you here anyway? Didn’t peg you as someone with school spirit.” You lean against one of the cool metal bars, watching his lips wrap around the cigarette.

“Max is here with some friends, dad made me bring her.”

You nod, acknowledging Billy's explanation. "Family duties," you say with a hint of understanding. "I get it."

Billy takes another drag from his cigarette, the tip glowing brightly in the darkness. "Yeah," he mutters. "Something like that."

The distant roar of the crowd filters down to you, but down here, beneath the bleachers, it's more subdued, almost peaceful. You find yourself drawn to the relative quietness as you continue your conversation with Billy.

"So, how's everything else going?" you inquire, hoping to shift the topic away from school-related matters.

Billy takes a moment before replying, his gaze thoughtful. "Hey, are you planning on going to the dance?" he asks suddenly, his tone casual.

You're taken aback by the question, the unexpectedness of it causing you to pause for a moment. "Yeah, actually," you reply, a smile forming on your lips. "I'm going with Robin and some of her other friends."

Billy nods in understanding. "Cool," he says, his tone casual. "I'll probably just tag along with my friends too."

You glance at him, catching his eye for a brief moment. There's something in his expression, a hint of hesitation perhaps, as if he wants to say more but decides against it. He takes another puff of his cigarette, the smoke swirling around him like a protective shield.

“I guess I’ll see you there.” You muster up the courage to give his arm a touch, easing his anxious nature.

“Dress pretty for me.” He comments with a sly smirk gracing his lips.

You chuckle at Billy's comment, shaking your head in mock exasperation. "Always the charmer, aren't you?" you tease, playfully rolling your eyes.

Billy's smirk widens at your response, and for a moment, you catch a glimpse of the mischievous glint in his eyes. "Can't blame a guy for trying," he says with a shrug.

You laugh, feeling the tension between you dissipate in the warmth of the moment. "Well, I'll do my best to impress," you respond with a playful smile.

"I'm looking forward to it, little mouse," he says softly, his gaze meeting yours with a hint of sincerity.

You feel a flutter of excitement in your chest at his words, the prospect of seeing Billy at the dance suddenly feeling more thrilling than ever before. With a final nod, you turn away and walk off. As you make your way back up the bleachers, the sound of the crowd surrounds you once more, but this time, it's accompanied by a sense of anticipation for the homecoming dance.

As you and Robin enter the bustling gymnasium, the pulsating beat of the music washes over you, mingling with the excited chatter of your classmates. The gym is transformed into a kaleidoscope of colors, with twinkling lights casting a warm glow over the dance floor.

You catch sight of Billy almost immediately, his presence commanding attention even in the midst of the crowd. His attire remains unchanged, a testament to his unwavering sense of self. Despite the casualness of his outfit - jeans, button-up shirt and a leather jacket - there's an undeniable allure about him that draws your gaze like a magnet. You can't help but feel a flutter of anticipation in your chest as your eyes lock with his across the room.

You never expected his simple outfit to stir such feelings within you, but there's something undeniably captivating about Billy that defies explanation.

Before you can dwell on your thoughts any further, Robin tugs at your arm, pulling you towards an open table. "Come on, let's find a spot," she says with a grin, her excitement contagious.

You tear your gaze away from Billy, reluctantly letting yourself be led to the table. As you settle into your seat, the music swells around you.

As the music pulses through the air and Robin convinces you to join her on the dance floor, you find yourself swept up in the rhythm, losing yourself in the music and the movement. Robin's infectious energy encourages you to let go of your inhibitions, and soon you're dancing, laughing and twirling to the beat.

But amidst the swirling lights and loud music, you can't shake the feeling of someone's eyes on you. Every time you steal a glance in Billy's direction, you find his gaze fixed on you, unwavering and intense. A strange heat rises within you, and you can't help but wonder if it's the result of your dancing or the intensity of Billy's stare.

Feeling overwhelmed by the sensation, you gently excuse yourself from the dance floor, telling Robin that you need a moment to catch your breath. She nods understandingly as you make your way towards the exit.

Stepping out into the cool night air, you find yourself in the same alleyway beside the gym, the distant sounds of the dance echoing in the background. Leaning against the wall, you take a deep breath, relishing the quietness and solitude.

But your moment is short-lived as you hear footsteps approaching. Turning, you're surprised to see Billy standing there, his expression unreadable in the dim light.

"Hey," he says timidly, breaking the silence.

"Hey.” You reply, crossing your arms behind your back against the cool brick.

For a moment, neither of you speak, the air hangs heavy with unspoken words. But then Billy takes a step closer, his gaze searching yours as if trying to decipher your thoughts.

"I... I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he says, his voice hesitant.

You offer him a small smile. "Yeah, I'm okay," you assure him, though the truth is far more complicated than you're willing to admit.

As the distant strains of a slow song drift out from the gym, filling the alleyway with its soft melody, you're taken aback when Billy holds out his hand to you, a silent invitation written in his eyes.

For a moment, you hesitate, the weight of the past and the uncertainty of the present swirling around you. But then, something within urges you to take a chance, to step into the unknown. With a tentative smile, you place your hand in his, feeling the warmth of his touch seeping into your skin.

Billy pulls you close, his arms enveloping you in a tender embrace that seems to erase the world around you, leaving only the two of you swaying to the music in the softly lit alleyway. His touch, surprisingly gentle, sends a shiver down your spine.

"You know how to dance?" you ask, a smile playing on your lips, unable to contain your amusement.

Billy's soft chuckle fills the empty space around you, a sound that echoes off the walls. "My mom taught me when I was younger," he explains, his voice carrying a hint of nostalgia. "We used to dance around our living room on nights when my dad was away."

A pang of empathy tugs at your heartstrings as you sense the weight of his past in the way he holds you now. "I'm sorry," you murmur, searching for the right words to offer comfort.

Billy shakes his head, a bittersweet smile gracing his lips. "It's okay," he reassures you softly, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. "I haven't danced like this since she left."

“Well, I’m honored,” you respond, feeling a warmth spread through you at the intimacy of the moment.

“You’re too good to me,” Billy mumbles against the side of your head, his lips brushing against your hair. “You’re much better off without me.”

“You’re not the judge of that,” you say gently, pulling away to meet his gaze and you're struck by the vulnerability reflected in his eyes.

"Maybe not," he concedes, his voice barely above a whisper. "But you know the many mistakes I’ve made that I'm not proud of."

You reach up, gently tracing his jawline with your fingertips. "We've all made mistakes, Billy," you say softly. "But that doesn't define who you are. It's about what you do next."

He exhales slowly, as if releasing a weight he's carried for far too long. "I want to do better," he admits, his voice tinged with determination. "For you, for myself... for her."

You nod, feeling a swell of hope rise within you. "Then let's take it one step at a time," you say, a small smile playing on your lips. "Together."

Billy's lips curve into a genuine smile, and he nods in agreement. "Together," he copies, before pulling you close once more, the music enveloping you both as you continue to sway in the dimly lit alleyway.

"Does this mean you'll stop ignoring me at school?" you ask, your voice carrying a mix of hope and uncertainty. "Will you... want to be seen together?"

Billy's expression shifts, a flicker of hesitation crossing his features. "I've been scared, afraid of dragging you into my mess."

You reach out, placing a gentle hand on his cheek, your touch grounding him in the present moment. "I'm not afraid," you assure him, your voice unwavering. "I choose you, Billy. Mess and all."

“I’m just not sure I’m ready for that.” Billy stops swaying, moving his hand from your back and runs it through his hair. You can feel him mentally pulling away before he takes a step back.

“I’m not going to make you do something you don’t feel comfortable with but it hurts me when I can’t even walk up to you at school or outside of school when you're with your friends because of their ridicule that is always directed toward me.” You reach out your hand in the unwanted space Billy put between you.

“What are you so afraid of? Why do you care so much about what other people think?” You watch as he runs a hand through his hair and grips it slightly in frustration.

"It's not just about what other people think," he confesses, his voice laced with vulnerability.

“You can’t fool me Billy. This facade you always put up.”

As Billy meets your gaze, you can sense the walls he's been painstakingly building around himself begin to rise once more, brick by brick, shielding him from the vulnerability of your conversation. His eyes flicker with a mixture of relief and apprehension, as if he's been longing to retreat into the safety of his defenses but fears the consequences of letting them fall.

"I know," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper, but there's a hint of distance in his tone. "I've spent so long pretending, trying to shield myself from the pain of being judged."

Your heart sinks as you witness him pulling away, his vulnerability overshadowed by his protective barriers. "Billy," you reach out, your voice a gentle plea, but he takes another step back, distancing himself from your touch.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice tinged with resignation. "I thought I could do this, but... I can't do this."

You watch helplessly as he retreats further into himself, his walls rising higher with each passing moment. "But Billy, we can face this together," you insist, desperation creeping into your voice. "I'm not going anywhere."

He shakes his head, his expression pained as he turns away, the distance between you widening with each step he takes. "I can't," he says softly, his words barely audible. "Not like this."

Tears well up in your eyes as you watch Billy disappear into the shadows, his departure leaving you feeling emptier than ever before. The weight of his absence settles heavily upon your shoulders, the alleyway suddenly feeling desolate and cold without his presence.

You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to ward off the chill that seems to seep into your bones. The echoes of his retreating footsteps continue to reverberate in your mind, a haunting reminder of the distance that now stretches between you.

A sense of helplessness washes over you. The ache of rejection gnaws at your heart, leaving you feeling adrift in your own sea of uncertainty and sorrow.

You brush away the tears staining your cheeks and summon the strength to turn around, heading back into the gym. With a determined effort, you conceal the ache in your heart behind a forced smile, unwilling to let the pain consume you in front of others.

It’s been a couple weeks since your encounter with Billy at the dance. He’s barely looked your way at school and you’ve tried to get his attention, leaving little notes in his locker or setting down freshly baked cookies you made the night before on his desk in English.

He doesn’t touch them until the bell rings and slides them into his backpack, leaving without saying a word to you. You know that night in the alleyway, something switched between you two. There was more intensity in the way you moved together. You were practically drawn to each other like magnets until he forced himself away to avoid any sort of commitment from happening.

You know Billy still has a lot to figure out and deal with the turmoil in his life. You just wish he’d let you in and see how much you want to help him find his way.

The night envelops you in its dark embrace as you receive a quiet call from Billy, beckoning you to meet him at the small park down the street. Despite the late hour, you don't hesitate, knowing there's a reason he needs you.

When you arrive, the moonlight reveals Billy swaying slightly on one swing and as he turns his head at your footsteps you notice the multiple bruises marring Billy's jaw and as others hide beneath his shirt, a painful testament to the violence he endures at home.

“Billy, what happened?” Your heart aches at the sight. You walk over and stand in front of him, looking down.

Billy's gaze flickers with pain and shame. "The usual, my dad," he admits, his voice heavy and gruff. "He... he got super drunk and lost his temper again."

Your heart clenches at his words, the weight of his suffering settling heavily upon you. "I'm so sorry, Billy."

Billy offers you a weak smile, his eyes reflecting a mixture of gratitude and despair. "I know you probably don’t want to talk to me but thanks for coming," he says softly. "I didn't know who else to call."

“Of course Billy, I’m always here for you.” Your arm twitches, wanting to touch him but leave it at your side at the sight of him, knowing he probably doesn’t want to be touched. “We should really call Chief Hopper, Billy, this is so out of hand-”

“No. No cops. That’ll make it worse.”

“I can’t just sit by and do nothing when you’re suffering so much.” You sigh and move to sit on the swing next to him. “Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.”

“I just have to make it through to graduation and then I’m leaving. He can’t stop me then.”

“Where are you going to go?” You pry, wanting to hear what he wants out of his future.

“Back to California. It’s the only place I could see myself staying for the rest of my life.” He admits.

“Seems like you have it all figured out.” A slight pang of sadness fills your chest at him not mentioning you in his future plans. You shake that thought out of your head. You aren’t even together, why would he make room for you?

“I’m sorry for leaving you at the dance that night.” You’re surprised by Billy’s admission.

“No, I’m sorry for pressing you. I know how difficult it can be to open up and let things in.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t apologize for me being an asshole to you.” Billy shakes his head with a scoff before looking you in the eyes. “I can’t - I don’t know how to put this into words. This is new to me. I’ve never wanted somebody so much before in my life.”

“Then stop being so stubborn.” You give him a soft smile, trying to lighten the mood.

“I think that’s in my DNA, little mouse. You’ll have to try harder to fix that part of me.”

“Billy,” You reach over and take his hand, softly running your finger over his bruised knuckles. “I’m not trying to fix you. I just want to be by your side as you find your way. You deserve someone who wants to show you the good things but sticks by you for all the bad things too.” Billy avoids your gaze, keeping his eyes locked on your hands, connected between you.

“I can’t hold your hand without noticing how wrong mine looks in yours. I don’t deserve the gentleness of you combined with my ugliness.” Your heart aches at Billy's words, his self-deprecation cutting through you like a knife. You squeeze his hand gently, refusing to let him retreat into his own despair.

"Billy," you say softly, your voice laced with determination. "You are not defined by your past or your scars. You are worthy of love and kindness, regardless of what you believe."

He meets your gaze, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "But I've done terrible things," he whispers, his voice cracking with emotion. "I don't deserve someone like you."

You shake your head, a surge of empathy welling within you. "We've all made mistakes, Billy. It's how we choose to move forward that matters," you say, your words infused with conviction. "And I choose to stand by you, to help you heal and grow, no matter how long it takes."

Billy's defenses begin to crumble, his facade of strength giving way to vulnerability. "I don't know if I can change," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.

"We'll figure it out together," you reassure him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere."

A flicker of hope ignites in Billy's eyes, a tentative smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Thank you," he murmurs, his voice filled with gratitude.

“Come on, let's get you cleaned up. My dad’s at work so it’ll be just us. You can stay over if you want.” You gently tug on Billy's hand, urging him to his feet as you lead him out of the park and towards your home.

As you walk, Billy's steps falter, his hesitation palpable. "Are you sure about this?" he asks, uncertainty lacing his words.

You turn to face him, your expression comforting. "I'm sure," you say firmly, giving his hand another reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to face this alone anymore." Billy's shoulders relax slightly at your words, a sense of relief washing over him.

When you arrive at your home, you guide Billy inside, the warmth of the familiar surroundings enveloping you both.

"I'll grab you some clean clothes," you say, disappearing into your room for a moment before returning with a soft towel and a change of your dad's clothes.

“There’s a first aid kit beneath the sink if you want to use it.” You tell him, not knowing if he wants you to help him or leave him alone.

Billy accepts the clothes gratefully, a small smile playing on his lips. "Thanks," he says, his voice hoarse with emotion and he disappears into the bathroom to freshen up.

You grab an extra blanket and pillow for Billy and set up the couch. Billy exits the bathroom, a small band-aid on his cheek, the redness from his wounds washed away.

“You can take my bed, it’ll be more comfortable than the couch.” You gesture to your bedroom door.

“Don’t be silly, Y/N.” He grabs the blanket and pillow off the couch and ushers you to follow him. “Unless you’re uncomfortable.” He pauses.

“It’s okay.” You smile and close your bedroom door behind him as he walks in and sets up his pillow and blanket on your bed, carefully and slowly laying down. He winces as he rolls over slightly, grabbing at his side.

“Do you need some ice?”

“No, It’s okay, I’ll just wait till morning.” He watches your movements as you settle into bed beside him.

“Goodnight Billy.” You reach over and turn your lamp off, turning on your side to face him.

“Goodnight, little mouse.” He whispers. You watch the exhaustion take over him. In the darkness of your room, for the first time, he falls asleep. You smile, watching his eyes flutter and his breath hollow out, chest rising and falling slowly.

You’re unfamiliar with the emotion flooding you right now. With Billy safe under your roof, you vow to yourself to do everything in your power to help him heal and grow, to show him that he’s worthy of love and kindness, no matter what demons haunt him.

You can’t help the words that tumble out of you, unexpectedly.

“I love you,” you whisper. “I love you so much it might be crazy to admit.”

Taglist:@msbillyhargrove @uselessbutinteresting @milestellergfs @periwinkle-quill @ghostcastaway @iletmytittiestitty-russ @missingbillyhargrove @lotionlamp @billys-pretty-babe @isimpfortoomanypeople @rosey96 @girlwifteef @miheartsedthings @empathyroad

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove x fem!reader #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove stranger things #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove smut #stranger things #stranger things billy #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things x y/n #stranger things billy hargrove #Spotify

66 notes · View notes

twig-tea · 9 months

Text

Get to Know Me Ask Game

Thanks for tagging me @waitmyturtles, @telomeke, @thegalwhorants!

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.

Note: @pandasmagorica noted that bolding is not differentiated by screen readers, and I tested this and it seems to be true, so I am going to adjust the sentence structures as they suggested instead. I'm also going to follow what I've seen others do and use small font for the ones that are not true to make it a bit easier for some people to skim visually (screen readers just read the Tumblr formatted words as though they had no formatting). Adding in notes after each section because if you haven't noticed I am verbose lol

APPEARANCE

I do not have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have not gotten plastic surgery // I have not had braces // I sunburn easily // I have a few freckles // I rarely paint my nails // I typically don't wear makeup // I often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I do not wear baseball hats backwards

My hair is naturally brown-blonde, and bleaches in the sun. My preference is tight on top and loose on the bottom! I used to have all the hair colours (blue, red, purple, pink, etc.). Nail polish bothers me so it never lasts 24 hours on my hands. I wear makeup when I go dancing (which in the beforetimes was ~once a month, to the goth alternative/synthpop/postpunk club night I've been going to for a decade! This is also where I give credit for being comfortable with my looks. Nowhere teaches fat appreciation like a goth club). I'm that person who people just start talking to because I have resting pleasant face.

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I don't play a sport // I cannot play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have not won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I do not enjoy writing // I cannot do origami // I do not prefer movies to tv shows // I cannot execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have not read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I cannot do a handstand

I have zero hand eye coordination but enjoyed playing tackle football back in the day. Also used to play viola in high school band but didn't count that. Took Japanese and French in university, though I've lost a lot of both, and am slowly learning Thai. I have tried to learn origami so many times but I just can't make straight lines [insert joke about being too queer for origami here]. Give me a series I can binge over a film any day, though I do like both. I said I could survive in the wild but that's because I have previously had hyperfixations on surviving in various climates...but I'm also allergic to a lot of pollens/trees/grasses/animals so I'm probably deluding myself. I still read fanfiction but not published books. I mostly travel within Canada these days.

‌

RELATIONSHIP

I am not in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I don't have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together// I have dated my best friend // I am not adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have had a long distance relationship // I am not an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

I am pretty sure I'm some kind of demiromantic? Being in a relationship is so uninteresting to me lol and even when I've been in love I did not want to be around them all the time, or talk to them every day when it was long distance (which was a source of conflict). I haven't been in a relationship in over a decade and I don't miss it. Dated my former best friend and it crashed and burned. I'm still close friends with 3 folks I've known since elementary school--that's > 25 years!--so I'm counting them! I have (mostly) learned to ask before giving advice. I've made friends online and met them IRL; even had my first relationship online (so long ago that we exchanged photos via snail mail because digital photos were not yet a thing).

‌

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I do not meditate outside // the sound of chirping does not calm me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I do not pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

I don't know where y'all live but the birds here are not calming lolol they are obnoxious AF (a single chirper, sure maybe). I usually listen to an audiobook I've already read to fall asleep, it's the perfect amount of stimulation that I can tune out/not get caught up in. I am lucky enough to live in a place with sometimes weekly thunderstorms in the summer, with lightning that lasts for hours, it's awesome. I like colours but my visual processing is crap, I don't notice visual things until they're pointed out and have no visual memory. Autumn is the best season! Dry, warm but not hot, beautiful, best food, excuses to dress in layers.

‌

MISCELLANEOUS

I cannot fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I don't live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I cannot drive a stick shift // I don't believe in true love // I don't make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I do not wish I lived in a video game // I do not have a canopy above my bed // I am not multiracial // I am not a redhead // I do not own at least 3 dogs

I can sleep on trains but cars/buses/planes are impossible. And I've been on 16hr plane/22hr bus rides. I definitely have the mom bag in the friend group (full of stuff people might need). I do a lot of extracurriculars: At work I am on the DE&I committee, and the workplace health & safety committee. In fandom I have at various times been part of a scanlation team, a beta reader, a forum moderator, and treasurer for a convention (the first Yuri convention in North America, actually!). And I've also volunteered for municipal election campaigns as a researcher. I am very introverted but also care a lot about my communities and want to contribute to whatever spaces I'm in; that being said I've burned out a few times and have tried to get better at not taking too much on. Re race, I am half-Jewish but as my dad's family is Ashkenazi (from Ukraine on both sides) and my mom's family is white, only other Jews ever clock me as anything other than white so I don't consider myself mixed race.

Tagging folks (sorry if you've already done this, and no pressure!): @incandescentflower @ellaspore @marbles290 @tinycowboybro @benkaaoi @williamrikers @formayhem @sorry-bonebag @troubled-mind @manogirl

#tag game

9 notes · View notes

thesinglesjukebox · 5 months

Text

HANNAH DIAMOND - "AFFIRMATIONS"

youtube

Frank Falisi brings us PC Music's shutdown...

[6.35]

Frank Falisi: There's plenty of irony in pop music, an inherently ironic enterprise. What other word could you use to describe the process of transacting the mutability of feeling into occupational singularity? Perfect pop doesn't set us free, it locks us up: think of nothing else for three minutes. That locking (moving, swerving, heeling) doesn't have to be carceral, but it often is. The domination of image as product means that TikTok becomes pharmakon, manufacturing the lonely need to be occupied and the momentary balm. What does a free pop music look like, then? Imperfect, gum in ear, melted plastic. How do we approach the imperfect? Irony can crack the door open, show a sheen and weaponize it, turn pop into a puncture. First, Hannah Diamond was this gesture, a nonexisting weapon of the pop theory factory. Unstable, she became the extended mix, a concrete angel made to detonate: soon I won't see you at all. A full length, more reflections. Are all of these sounds ironic? Only if self-doubting distance is irony, or if the absent song we call "missing you" is irony. In the kernel of a throbbed and upward-facing synth, Hannah Diamond finds the greatest love of all: "Affirmations." It re-stages the space between irony and earnestness by making love the vehicle for pop instead of the other way around. Neither distanced by detachment or enfranchisement, as open to the virality of a plastic world as it is inoculated from the bottom line, it's the sound of all the lessons of theory and their summary dismissal. Think of everything else for three minutes, one song at a time. Here you are in the song. [9]

Will Adams: A self-help pep-talk set to a synthpop arrangement so shiny and gargantuan that it's bound to pump you up way more than the words themselves. Sort of like if you mashed up MUNA's "Number One Fan" and "Home By Now." (Not a bad concept.) [7]

Alfred Soto: David Gamson co-produced and co-wrote "Affirmations," and I can hear traces of the slippery electro-funk he contributed to Scritti Politti's Cupid & Psyche '85 long ago and far away. This inspirational track is too explicit for a would-be dancefloor banger -- Hannah Diamond wants you to pay attention to her lyrics -- but I am not wont to hold my nose at friends finding solidarity where and when they can. [7]

Crystal Leww: Love her DJ sets! [5]

Leah Isobel: Hannah Diamond's sincerity was always on the surface of her music. Her early singles' lyrics were constructed as straightforward sentences, forcing the melodies to meander in order to fit in all of the syllables. That wordiness could scan as parodic when paired with a melody (and, it must be said, a vocal performance) as grating as that of "Attachment," but the stack of qualifiers and half-confessions on "Every Night" proved to me that she wasn't playing a game. Vulnerability is usually imperfect, and asserting your own desire is usually messy. The point wasn't that the words were articulated and sung perfectly, but that they were sung at all; singing them was an act that reaffirmed her own existence as a whole self with feelings, ideas, and goals. It's a short skip and a jump from that thematic framework to the somewhat overdetermined practice of hyping yourself up in the mirror. But if "Affirmations" feels a little simplistic and pandering at first, Hannah's sincerity still wins me over by the end. It doesn't hurt that David Gamson is a better musical partner for her than A.G. Cook was, since Gamson's productions actually have a bit of physicality and body to counteract their shiny gleam. I love the way the chorus synths do little cartwheels, and I love the driving bass beneath her. Most of all, I love how Hannah's voice sits slightly below the production, warm and open. She invites us into the world that she's built, but she doesn't force. The self doesn't manifest by raw strength; it manifests with patience, care, and attention. And when that happens, it's worth celebrating. [7]

Oliver Maier: Has society progressed past the need for Hannah Diamond? She tries to emphasise that it's the other way around on "Affirmations", and good for her, but I'm not getting much out of it. Like most of her PC Music peers she's left behind the caustic feel of her mid-'10s work for something a bit more sedate, if still faintly tongue-in-cheek. She's interested in the same themes, but she hasn't addressed the problem that's followed her for a decade: the songs aren't always there. "Affirmations" sounds like "Hang With Me" stripped of either big melodies or emotional highs and lows, and that's hard for me to get on board with. [4]

Aaron Bergstrom: As someone who still believes in the revolutionary potential of guitar rock in the year 2023, I certainly can't begrudge Hannah Diamond for summoning the old PC Music spirits one more time to see if any of the ancient incantations still resonate. There's some nostalgic sparkle in the "affirmations/creations" chorus opener the first time around, but I don't think a song has ever lost me as fast as this one did by following up the believable underdog innocence of "I am building my own world" with the grindset soullessness of "I'm a business woman and my own C ... E ... O." [3]

Alex Clifton: I feel like I'm supposed to leap up in rapturous applause, thrilled that someone at this seminar has reminded me that I'm worth something for the low, low price of $500. [4]

Katherine St Asaph: I've got new rules, I count 'em. I gotta girlboss to myself. [4]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: It is extremely difficult to parse these lyrics such that you actually get five affirmations, which I kind of love -- the nature of self-confidence and self-help is always expansive and nebulous, a long and muddled engagement in the mires of doubt. "Affirmations" is joyous enough in its straight-ahead synth-pop arrangement that it almost seems too easy. But there's a certain wan tone to Hannah Diamond's vocal here, the subtlest hint of melancholy embedded between the big hooks and major chords, that leaves "Affirmations" just bitter enough for me to enjoy it. [6]

Brad Shoup: It's a synthpop memory in 4K. There are too many kinda-correct details, all of them too sharp: like a Scritti Politti song finished with machine learning, or a Rachid Lotf poster. I like songs that are shameless about entertaining and songs that are sneaky about being sad, and we've got a little of both here. The repetition of "keep repeating" is hackwork elevated by vocal fuckery that renders each new phrase in a different typeface. There's a bit about recharging ("When I'm all alone late at night/I recalibrate my eyes") that literally sounds like it's coming from a robot pretending to be human. If she'd sung the lines about being a businesswoman and CEO I might have given this a [10] and/or linked "Our Wedding". [8]

Nortey Dowuona: Hannah and David Gamson constantly keep stopping and starting the song. Throughout each chorus, they take the '80s pop drum loop and chop it underfoot, leaving certain synth loops hanging, unspooling like spilt intestines out of the belly. They're purposely ugly moments, like the song is supposed to deny the audience their expectation that it will finish the progression the synth keys promise. The effect gets less jarring and more novel as it keeps going, especially since the song does actually end with a wriggling synth arpeggio and a limp note played until the fader is brought down. [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Frustratingly, this never breaks through into the more vulnerable and exposed place that the chorus promises. On the other hand, Passion Pit's Gossamer is one of my favorite albums, so the floor is high. [6]

Micha Cavaseno: I've been recently going through my bookmarks that I've repeatedly transferred between browsers since... I dunno, since I was in my teens? I've made a point to check in on those links and see what died and what lives on, what's worth keeping, what's worth frantically seeking via web archives and such. Much like the cockroach, the PC Music thinkpieces and features remain and clutter; it's very funny watching the game be so redundant barely a few years later, like pop's own personal GTA V. Hannah Diamond doesn't sound like she's doing her "is it ironic or is it sincere" pop pastiche anymore, with that extremely post-Goldsmiths jag to it, but instead like the competent parodies of pop you see in comedy skits. Which isn't even to say it's a joke, but the best parts of PC Music were the extra-egging nudges that made you question the sincerity even when it was overflowing. It's why I still mull over SOPHIE's debut, eternally uncertain whether so much of that record was a put-on or a come-out. Here, Hannah's best chances are that she's just giving a little paean or a half-hearted sarcastic tease. Oh well, I preferred GFOTY anyway. [3]

David Moore: I was always skeptical about PC Music. The question of sincerity nagged at me, but in a minor way, like a mosquito bite flares up again the next day -- still with this? -- and I mostly ignored it. When the occasional annoying novelty song came along and riled everyone up, I was capable of enjoying it. But it never really occurred to me to just accept it straight, as pop music indistinguishable from any of the other stuff, until I heard "Affirmations." In part that's because so much time has passed that the sincerity questions all dissipated -- everything seems basically sincere now, but in an oppressive way, almost as if it's somehow worse that the PC Music project turned out to be fundamentally uncynical. But maybe I've changed, too. I played this one for my kids and they loved it, as much as they love Taylor Swift and NewJeans and "Meherbaan" by Reet Talwar and this weird Polish Kidz Bop type song. They don't differentiate between any of it; they accept everything I throw at them in the way I'd bet kids always have. But I differentiate less, too. A lot of battles that used to seem important seem so small compared to the great atomized infinity of music that just keeps on churning itself out into the void. Why shouldn't I listen to "Affirmations" completely straight? You keep repeating, and it turns out you really can be whatever you want to be. [8]

Ian Mathers: As someone who frequently loves pop music and is suspicious of affirmations but also has the sneaking feeling that they'd do me some good, this is perfect for me! Remember, we only say things like "I will NEVER give up" when things are going super well! [9]

Taylor Alatorre: (OOC: I cannot shake the feeling that I don't belong here.) When I applied to the Jukebox in 2016, I was in my senior year of college, and I couldn't wait to get out. Not because I had something great to look forward to, but because I felt I had nothing to look back upon. I'd gone from having a stable group of friends in high school to going entire weeks without speaking outside of classes, not even to my perfectly nice roommate, whom I avoided whenever possible. I would walk around campus silently hating everyone in view, because I assumed they hated me, the mere sight and presence of me. I still thought of autism as some foreign, abstract thing that affected certain "other people," rather than a governing condition of my own life that bled into every interaction, every averted glance, every fenced-off path and never-to-be-opened email. In the midst of this barrenness, I had music, which I listened to religiously and on a disciplined timetable: 600 albums apiece in 2014 and 2015, 615 in 2016. Kacey Musgraves Bully Tyga Desaparecidos. I clicked on every Stereogum link and made lists of new iTunes singles. I nodded along to turn-up anthems without ever going to a party, and breakup anthems without ever bringing someone home. What was I trying to find in all of this? A substitute for connection, a distraction from despair, a safe place in which to feel feelings and act out scenarios, or the pages from that lost instruction manual on how to basically resemble a human being? Like many of my favorite songs from those years, "Affirmations" can be all of those things. A wind tunnel blast of a chorus that's large enough to see myself moving around in; a steady synthesized undercurrent that floods the gaps in my identity and carries me along without pushing; little shiny baubles of sound like items in a school gift shop; girlhood inhabitable from a distance. Hannah Diamond aligns her voice with monotone precision to the notes on a staff, suggesting a diligent observance of the song's titular practice -- then proceeds to blow up such niceties by flinging herself in seven or eight different directions, mindfulness be damned. Such is the joyous paradox of a song whose outwardly polished and public-facing elements are placed in service of these embarrassingly, thrillingly private rituals -- "all my secrets / I can't tell." Even the self-mocking literalness of the CEO talk does its part by validating the collegiate cynic in me who's allergic to the "validation" game, affirming the part of me who still "knows" that I have nothing positive to affirm. The song generously makes room for such doubts even as it nominally moves to vanquish them, an ecumenical approach that many self-help tunes could stand to learn from. So even if I never fully lose the sense that I'm unqualified to write about pop music due to lacking the proper life experiences or neurotype, that's okay. I'll still keep repeating, ke-keep repeating that garbage anyway. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#hannah diamond #music #pc music #pop music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

2 notes · View notes

fabien-euskadi · 1 year

Note

21, 22 and 31!

I had to ask question 22 back at you! Here's the personality test I mentioned in my reply.

21.something you’ve kept since childhood?

Hum… that is a tough one. I have moved a few times since those early years of my existence, and that means many things had to be left behind. Maybe my mom still has anything from that era (I believe she does). However, there are very things from those times that I brought to my current place (or places - there are currently two) …

… until I realized there is a book. Yes, a book, a book called “The Most Beautiful Villages and Towns of Portugal”. I saw it on a bookstore (was it a bookstore?) when I was 9 or 10, and immediately fell in love with that huge book with Piódão in the front cover and Barrancos in the back cover (I had just been in both, as far as I remember). My mother bought me the book, and I still have it with me all the time. Actually, I check it frequently - I want to visit all the 122 villages, but, so far, I have only been in half of them.

You may think I am a complete lunatic, but, when I look for a new place to live, I frequently check that book. If it was considered one of “The Most Beautiful Villages and Towns of Portugal” (a subjective categorization, I should admit), then it’s a plus. The head of the county where I am right now is in that very list. Many places I like to photograph are also inspired by that book.

22.what type of person are you?

Well, you already knew my answer to this one, correct? 😊 Obviously you knew it, you read it.

So, the famous 16 personalities test - once again, a way of trying to define someone, to limit their personality. I took it for the first time several years ago, because my (then) girlfriend – who was a therapist - wanted me to; I don’t remember the result, because it changes from time to time. I am not always the same person, and the environment around me is not always the same - and neither are the circumstances.

But I made the test. This time, I am an INFP-T (the Mediator). As far as I know, that’s very common among writers and artists in general. However, defining me as just a writer would be extremely limitative, since that is just one of the things I do in my life (albeit I must admit that is, probably, my biggest passion). In the same way that it would be incredibly restrictive to classify me as a PhD student - or even an historian.

Even saying that I am Miguel is limitative. Because that name was not chosen by me, it was chosen by someone else, without asking for my opinion (for obvious reasons, I admit).

31.what type of music keeps you grounded?

It all depends on how I am feeling, and what I am doing in that very moment. But most of the time, rock (not all subgenres, I confess), metal (the same) and neoclassical darkwave/dark ambient music are what keeps me grounded.

But it depends - I am not always the same person, and nor is my music, and, lately, I am learning to explore some things that, years ago, I would simply runnaway from (synthwave and synthpop, for example).

However, funk carioca and reggaeton are, per definition, not welcome in this house. But are they even considered music?

(thank you very much - it's always a pleasure talking to you)

5 notes · View notes

whymusic · 9 months

Text

Best Album of 2023 - Jessie Ware "That! Feels Good!"

Not sure when Jessie Ware randomly decided to become the best artist of the decade but I respect it

By all accounts, the hay days of disco should be far behind us. Back in the ‘70s and early ‘80s, club dance floors sparkled and shined under the illuminating gleam of disco balls; polychromatic floors flashed with a wide array of vivid, eye-catching colors. Mesmerized and seduced by the vibrant, glistening glow that paints the room, and probably under the influence of a shit ton of drugs, people Moonwalked and Macarena’d to Off the Wall and Heart of Glass, throwing their cares to the wind and enjoying the moment. Disco was the perfect soundtrack to losing yourself to the moment; basslines ripped straight from the playbook of funk coalesced with the overwhelmingly rich orchestral aspects of soul and conventional song structures/direct yet breathtaking vocal performances of pop music, usually with lyrical themes of pouring yourself out over a lover. It was music for living for today and not worrying about tomorrow. Blunt and catchy, it’s not difficult to see why disco became such a sought-after sound. But as the era of the disco ball began to fade and the ‘80s began to depart, disco faded out of popularity. It saw a slight renaissance in the early 2000s with the works of Kylie Minogue and Madonna’s Confessions on a Dance Floor, along with the development of nu-disco, which introduced more modern electronic elements into the tried and true disco formula, though that wave of disco revival was short-lived. Aside from that, for nearly three decades, disco fell to the wayside behind other styles of straight-to-the-point popular music like synthpop and dance-pop.

But something magical happened at the turn of the recent decade. A resurgence of ‘80s pop trends began to boil up at the midway point of the 2010s, though really hit a fever pitch in 2019-2021. Some of pop's most substantial names were calling for a revival of the same sounds that populated those glitzy dancefloors all those years ago (i.e. Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia, The Weeknd’s After Hours, Lady Gaga’s Chromatica). But the most surprising part of it all was that the one doing it best wasn’t necessarily the most popular- in fact, it was somebody who wasn’t at the forefront of anybodys' minds. Jessica Lois Ware saw a brief moment of success in the early 2010s with hits like Say You Love Me and Wildest Moments, but the hype behind her quickly began to fade as her typical, and honestly quite generic, R&B aesthetic began to run thin. After dawning a new era beginning in 2018 with a couple of singles though not fully getting the chance to flourish until 2020s' What's Your Pleasure, Jessie Ware began to re-invent herself. How? Through that same disco revivalism that was driving the mainstream.

Though what separated Jessie from the crowd is she was not just paying homage to disco aesthetics by sprinkling disco undertones on songs of more contemporary genres like dance-pop or synthpop- instead, What’s Your Pleasure was a full-blown disco album, no holds barred. It wasn’t just a cheap imitation done by an artist desperately yearning for commercial success, it was evident by the musicianship displayed on What’s Your Pleasure that it was an album built out of love and care for disco. Back-to-back-to-back quality that harkens back to the undeniable grooves of decades past.

That! Feels Good! is not a sister album that merely treads the same ground as What’s Your Pleasure; instead, it feels like an extension of that sound. While Jessie’s vocals on What’s Your Pleasure typically feel a bit restrained to emulate a feeling of sensualness, this record really feels like Jessie’s freeing herself with a more assured and expressive delivery. The luxurious, more maximalist, and even more expansive instrumental palate- bringing in lush, soaring orchestral sections that feel even larger than the orchestral moments on What’s Your Pleasure, flashy brass instrumentation, and influences from house music aplenty- take on a totally separate strand of disco also deviates That! Feels Good! from its predecessor. The more overtly sexual energy That! Feels Good! has compared to any of Jessie’s other material is also quite notable. As many will take notice, That! Feels Good!’s lyrics carry a lot of sexual energy, which are topics deeply tied to the genre of disco. Like disco legends such as Donna Summers that paved the way for her, she marries erotic, lustful themes with more nuanced, lovey-dovey romanticism. This right here is Jessie Ware’s horny album.

That sexual energy is channeled best in the listener’s first taste of the album, the title track, a song about unloosing yourself by putting your responsibilities to the wayside. An undeniably punchy and irresistible bassline akin to Stevie Wonder’s most powerful cuts, bombastic horns, and an ensemble of vocals sexually moaning out the album’s title at the onset of the track, which the artist herself has stated she included to stimulate the feeling of a musical orgy, punctuate Jessie Ware’s vocal elasticity as she does parkour from one melody to another, seducing the listener into a hypnotized state which forces them to bop their head up and down with her gorgeous voice. Vocal layering causes Ware’s vocals to swirl and spiral around your speakers as they tumble over each other, creating this oddly overwhelming feeling that makes it nearly impossible not to groove along to the song. It all culminates in a sexy-ass trumpet solo that will surely make you smile if the rest of the song hasn’t yet.

Free Yourself is yet another liberating song about doing exactly what the title indicates. Cascading pianos reminiscent of Europop circa ABBA and Diva House in the vein of Beyoncé’s Break My Soul are intertwined with a lavish orchestral section backing the song’s emancipating chorus. Vocally, Jessie is really letting it all out here, adding to the song’s themes of unbinding oneself from the restraining shackles of reality. It’s her most ferocious, fiery performance to date; fervid performances are what help differentiate this album from What’s Your Pleasure more than anything else. Whereas What’s Your Pleasure felt like Jessie Ware trying incredibly hard to be the shit- which is not a knock on that masterfully refined record, I actually feel as if it allowed for a more mature, subtle, and controlled album- That! Feels Good! feels like Jessie Ware knows she is the shit. Confidence is key; her dramatic vocals glide over the dazzling assortment of strings and brass on These Lips, and the charmingly child-like “La La La La” refrain on Pearls is sure to capture the listener's ear as it fades in and out with kaleidoscopic color. Yet that newfound confidence also comes instrumentally with Jessie taking an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink approach to What’s Your Pleasure’s grandiose orchestration; the pounding, bouncy, and consistent house of rhythms of Freak Me Now along with the glamorous trumpets that underscore Shake The Bottle carry just as much flashiness as Jessie’s own performances, the ladder of which has captivating Talking Heads influences aplenty encoded into its DNA.

I cannot end off this review without giving a nod to Begin Again, perhaps the best Jessie Ware song to date. It’s That! Feels Good!’s most unabridged and uncompromised ode to disco; at five and a half minutes, it’s a multifaceted, wild homage that brings the listener back to years of those classic ‘70s dancefloor anthems. Drums heavily influenced by the music of the Brazilian culture, more specifically the sound of Samba, a tropical-sounding piano bridge, and celebratory horns/eloquent strings populating the background all work in tandem to create handily the album’s most infectious grooves. Though Jessie Ware’s vocal splendor delivered in this song really steals the show, it’s truly something to behold. It is her most dynamic and compelling vocal performance yet, perfectly balancing euphoric highs that contain layers of vocals tumbling over one another, each one fighting to be the most noticeable in the mix which makes the song feel all the more untamable, and more lowkey moments where the song calms down while Jessie croons over some more subdued instrumental sections, all before reaching its monumental crescendo where every instrumental and vocal element that has been building up coalesce in an intense explosion of groovy magnificence. Begin Again really captures the spirit of the entirety of That! Feels Good!; it’s a collection of instrumentally dense, lyrically carefree songs where every track sounds like it has had hours on top of hours spent on it just to make sure it’s as thoughtful of a tribute to the sound of disco as possible. Stop being that old pretentious asshole for a minute and enjoy some fun music for once; That! Feels Good!’s sure to get a couple of good head-bops out of even its most reluctant listeners.

Favorite Tracks: That! Feels Good!, Free Yourself, Pearls, Hello Love, Begin Again, Beautiful People, Freak Me Now, Shake The Bottle, These Lips Worst Track: Lightning (if I had to pick)

youtube

#Youtube

1 note · View note

septembersghost · 1 year

Note

Did you ever feel like 1989 actually has a lot of missing pieces? I always felt like she held back a lot in 1989 to the point where I couldn't feel the vulnerability in the lyrics. I know she says 'I know for you its always me' and stuff like that but like there isn't a natural progression or intimacy. Atleast that intimacy doesn't seems to be the centre. Like in state of grace(esp accoustic) , delicate etc shows that growing attachment that makes is feel like we are somewhere we are not supposed to be. 1989 closest is IWYW even that seems like.......risking hope there are things in vault that will change the album for me because it's one album of hers that I can't still seem to connect.

oh yeah, and we may have discussed this before, but 1989 had a very specific aim, and she hit that exactly on target, but the sacrifice she made for that was in some of the specificity and incisiveness she's known for. red's loss of aoty was, i believe, a big factor in this, the fact that she was a bit crushed and decided the NEXT day to pivot completely. the full speed launch into synthpop, the...to some degree, shame, she felt about her older work and her confessions and her vulnerability being so clear and consistently being criticized and approached with skepticism, the definition of break-up/serial dater girl that was foisted on her, it all had an effect. the pieces you feel are missing are probably some of that raw edge. everything was smoothed over and glossy and shiny and a little emotionally distanced/guarded. it doesn't make them untrue, only a little less immediately accessible. the production also does a lot of heavy lifting in obscuring how tender and anxious quite a bit of the album is, there ARE moments of it lyrically in many songs, but they're polished up to sound less so. and she approached her image and marketing of the album in a very different way, and was splashed everywhere constantly, lauded and scrutinized and sensationalized and criticized in a new way, which added to that Too Big perception and was, as we know, ultimately harmful to her. that's why i said it's a perfect pop album sonically, but not a perfect taylor album. which doesn't even mean it isn't still quintessentially her, it is, but there's a gauze over it that doesn't exist as much elsewhere.

1989 disconnect was real and difficult for me, i truly love the album now, but it took years. i hope the re-recording does expand it a bit, or at least helps you to connect to it now! she'll be recording and releasing it from such a remarkably different place in her life, a much happier and healthier and more balanced one, and that might lend it a bit of good perspective too!

#anonymous #letterbox #1989 #thrown out speeches

1 note · View note

landingkraft · 8 months

Text

It's like a gawddamn ghost town here on tumbler

Check me out everyone!!!! DJ LUX of Landing Kraft, Gardens Of Gethesemain, & ABSYNTHE (EBM/Dance/Prog. Synthpop)... Listen to my projects on Spotify BUY* my music online! Gardens Of Gethesemain's first full length album drops soon! Keep it on your radar!!!

Tell others about me!!!! I'm an internation pop/variety artist gaining global recognition... Help me break the drudgery of these underground chains and help elevate me onto the mainstream pop/dance scene and eventually onto the pop charts!!!! DJ's and radio stations throw me into rotation... Appreciate you following!!! -DJ LUX

#popartist #variety #informat #pop #dance #edm #ebm #progressivesynthpop #radio #onair #liveapp #broadcasting #streamingvideo #streaming

Cheers to all of you!! o/

From sunny south Texas

@edm-scene @edmgirlsco @edm @elistudies @edm-magic @edm-radio-suisse @powerfm-blog-blog @powerfmdublin @powerfmdublinfamily @coolradioactive-blog @coolradioctive-blog @coolradiourl @giantradioactivemuffin @giantradiopress-blog-blog @redradiostatic @redradiomusic @redradio2017 @radiored @radioredbull @radiored-blog @bluefm @bluefmaster @redfm-107-5 @redfm-blog @hypefm @radiohypeblog-blog-blog @industrialradio @industrialdancer @ebmmusic @synthpopped @synthpopdyke @synthpoptemptress @synthpop-confessions @futurepop @futurepopmoved @futurepop-blog @futurepopp @futurepopular @backstagepassmusic @backstage-insight @backstage--babe @backstagefae @backstage-couture @backstage-boss @sonicradio @sonicradioboom @radiosonic @radiosonico @radiovision5 @bbcamerica

0 notes

synthpop-confessions · 1 year

Note

The The’s Soul Mining doesn’t get enough love as a synthpop album. Yeah, it’s a great post punk album! It is also an amazing synthpop album, it is the one place you have to allow harmonicas into synthpop fight me

Synthpop-confessions #85

#The the #Soul mining #Synthpop #Synthpop confessions #Post punk

14 notes · View notes

parkerbombshell · 1 year

Link

0 notes

edge-of-17-seas-of-rhye · 1 year

Note

hellooo!! ❄🦌

I listened to their first two albums they were so good!!!! I feel like i will have to give them another go before i can properly decide on favourites ha but I loved planet earth, absolutely immaculate vibes

you're so right!!! I have to confess I'm a bit of a take on me hater, I just think it's become so overplayed and they have so much better songs😳 and I can't stand when people call them one hit wonders :') yes morten harket is so pretty!!! honestly what is it with 80s synthpop bands and just being pretty😭

oooh that's fun I love real trees!! they just smell so festive to me haha, that sounds lovely🥺 to be honest as much as I adore christmas i am not much of a christmas film person, the only one i tend to consistently watch is the muppets christmas carol LMAO, I watched nativity 2 recently recently my friends though and that was pretty funny!! what are yours? maybe I should actually give some a go :')

have you had any snow where you are this year?

- 🤘🎅

Hello!

Planet Earth is good! Their first album is so solid tbh. My favorite from their first album is probably Late Bar, so catchy and just everything I want from a new wave song lol

Also Muppets Christmas Carol is such a good choice! I haven't watched that one in forever. You can't go wrong with Muppets ❤ I would suggest checking out Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas which is another Jim Henson property and it's very cute if you're into Muppets.

As far as my favorite(s), I would love to count Planes, Trains, and Automobiles but it's really a Thanksgiving movie. Although it is worth the watch if you haven't seen it, and also I love John Candy and wanted an excuse to mention him lol. Oh and also It's A Wonderful Life, it's adorable and wonderful (no pun intended) and it makes me tear up.

Yes we have had snow but off and on. Right now we currently don't. It snowed a couple days ago and then it drizzled and melted the snow. But I really hope there's snow for Christmas! ❄

#SRS22 #Also sorry I answered a bit late!

0 notes

luuurien · 2 years

Photo

Katy J Pearson - Sound of the Morning

(Chamber Pop, Singer/Songwriter, Baroque Pop)

The Bristol native's second album expands on her imaginative, fantastical blend of orchestral pop and rootsy country, Sound of the Morning a wild and colorful album that tries to make sense of dark experiences through bright and expressive songcraft. With a perfect balance of pop bombast and intimate singer/songwriter cuts, it's her most pure and lovely project yet.

☆☆☆☆

While often described as the space between grandiose, Kate Bush-ian pop and sensitive, upbeat folk à la Dolly Parton, Katy J Pearson's music is something entirely her own, owing much to predecessors like those aforementioned artists but never forcing herself into a box because of them. Given all the space to roam as an artist in the contemporary indie pop landscape, Pearson's music can leap from soaring baroque pop to naked and minimal folk to the occasional kick of disco, soul or Americana without a second thought, her music on the more pleasant side of the color spectrum while still providing enough compositional and lyrical depth to be engaging and unique to listen to. Her sophomore album Sound of the Morning further expands on things with a wider musical palette, from synthpop and chamber pop to swirling psychedelia and groovy disco, and it makes for her best release to date. Through its varying styles and Pearson's agile voice, Sound of the Morning brings a new sense of clarity and lightness to her music that does wonders across the album's eleven wonderful tracks. Where the bleakness of pandemic lockdowns burdened her 2020 debut Return and gave it an insulated, moody undertone even with all its icy strings and graceful guitar work, Sound of the Morning breathes in fresh air every waking moment, from the gently picked guitar and breathy flute on the opening title track to Float's freeing, run-through-the-field chorus, Pearson's focus with the album on openness and emotional connection with listeners through these more widescreen songs. Produced by Ali Chant along with help from Dan Carey (plus Heba Kadry, whose mastering work seems to be on nearly every indie release this year), there's a polish and variance to Sound of the Morning that comes through their unique production perspectives: "Ali has a more holistic approach...where we see what we have in the room and add slowly, but with Dan I loved the craziness where we just threw a bunch of stuff at it, and he just encourages me to be more adventurous," she said in early July to Merry-Go-Round Magazine, and you can hear that effect of Carey's on the tracks he produced. They're some of the most energetic on the album - unsurprising considering Carey's roots in the fast-paced, Speedy Wunderground post-punk world he spends most his time in - and it translates beautifully into Pearson's sound when he throws a strong groove and shiny layers of horns and vocal harmonies onto Confession and a jangly disco-pop groove onto the catchy House of Cards, Alligator the best of the Carey-produced tunes with its chunky bassline and mix of synths, trumpets, guitars and voice that explode like neon confetti in a pitch black room - Carey's main line of work might be in the post-punk world, but that ear for energy translates to Pearson's unique brand of singer/songwriter pop just as well. Her songwriting also takes a turn for the theatrical without losing its footing, Pearson using playful storytelling and descriptive lyricism to tell the same introspective stories she always has. "It was a very long time ago when it happened / And not a lot of people know how it happened," she coyly sings at the start of Confession, pulling you closer as she tells a story of miscommunication and hopefulness atop a fast-paced drum groove, the chance to reconnect quickly slipping from her grasp as the music rushes forward, that sense of movement and emotional resolution through letting things go the driving force of Sound of the Morning. Talk Over Town sees her feeling overwhelmed with how much sorrow and pain she's felt and the difficulties trying to remove things from her life to get her mind organized ("Can you show me something that I'm missing? / Is there something I can live without?" She wonders in the chorus), and even the more sentimental tracks like The Hour and Storm to Pass give her no clear answer, the more intimate musical territory they occupy only emphasizing that loneliness and distress as she works off the barest instrumentation she can, Sound of the Morning's bright sound padding for feelings that are too heavy to confront head-on. It's never afraid to explore those emotions - Riverbed deals with the confusion that comes with someone you love turning away from the world and Game of Cards' gambling allegory seems to be her way of diving into second chances and hoping someone will improve even after they let you down again and again - but the music itself never sounds somber or defeated, Pearson knowing her music is the place she can go to for support anytime and create in any way she'd like. Just as its title implies, Sound of the Morning's songs are each fresh starts for Pearson, empty canvases she can fill with whatever she's feeling in that moment, and the album shines because of that delightful contrast between theme and sound. Developing on her sound with the extra space and freedom creating music outside of the intense isolation of lockdown. Sound of the Morning makes the most of all the new things Pearson can do as an artist with a full-length album behind her and a clearer idea of what she wants her music to achieve. She's chasing an idealistic, magical world through her uplifting music while her gray-tinted glasses keep her songwriting centered in the real world and her emotional struggles in it, Sound of the Morning deftly toeing the line between art pop majesty and singer/songwriter grit that never emphasizes one over the other. It's easy listening, but the greatness of Sound of the Morning is in that bittersweet core, how she can weave such a somber tale into the prowling pop of Howl or bring such a clever metaphor to Game of Cards' glossy disco, a whimsical theme park ride with a vat of lava at the end of the drop. Things have shifted for Pearson artistically, but not by that much, those little details all that Sound of the Morning needs to set it apart from anything she's done in the past and take her music to new heights.

#katy j pearson #sound of the morning #heavenly #art pop #baroque pop #chamber pop #country #country pop #indie pop #indie rock #neo-psychedelia #pop #rock #singer/songwriter #2022 #8/10 #album review #2022 albums

0 notes