Hi guys! Since it won the poll here's my REAL first ever Pizza tower au! It's more of a fan project since they don't really look like their Pizza Tower counterparts but :3c

Let me introduce you to.........

Drum roll.....

...

..

.

PUREE PILLAR!!

I've waited so long to show this AU to you guys I'm so excited!!!!!

Puree Pillar goes along with the usual pizza tower lore, owner of a business gets threatened by a giant sentient piece of food that wants to blow up their building yada yada yada....

BUT‼️‼️

The main character ain't no ordinary peppino no siree

Instead, they're basically entirely different!! They look... Nothing alike probably.

Let me introduce you to the characters!!

•◌•◌•◌•◌•◌•◌•◌•★•◌•◌•◌•◌•◌•◌•◌•

Susie! (Peppino) : Susie is a not-so-young (he's old as shit) woman running a small beverage shop called Susie's Smoothies! (You will never guess what she sells. /j) Yeah, he has a smoking addiction she can't get rid of, but that doesn't stop her from kicking ass!!!!! (He is very depressed) AND on top of that!! She's a war veteran!! Crazy right!! She had a group of 3 other friends that had passed away during the war. Poor Susie can't catch a break... But on a lighter note, she rides a motorcycle! Woah!!

Next up we have..

Mia!! (Gustavo) : Mia is Susie's best friend and has been since they were wee little children! How adorable!! They've been with Susie through thick and thin, always helping each other out! (But Mia is not in fact, a war veteran like Susie.) She works with Susie and helps her run the shop. They care a lot about each other!! And her giant pet hedgehog Pebble!! :3c

(God this is getting long)

Berry! (The Noise) : Berry is a circus performer along with his girlfriend Drupe! Him and Susie are rivals, always getting into fights those two.. Berry is his stage name! What's his real name you say? I have no fucking clue

Drupe! (Noisette) : As stated before, Drupe is Berry's girlfriend! She runs her own little bakery somewhere in the pillar! (Or well, tower)

The Assailant. (The Vigilante) : He's a sentient glop of smoothie that anyone who dares to break the law must answer to! He's quite a fancy fella, but if you break a law.. Pray! Cause your ass MIGHT die!!! And he thinks he's a real human being! What a weirdo (/j)!!

DJ Apple! (Pepperman): DJ here is quite a cool guy! He makes sick beats that everyone enjoys! So much so they might break a hip from dancing too hard! Where did he get that chunk bit out of him? Why is his hand missing? ..... Who knows! But he still manages to make some good music!

Fake Susie! (Fake Peppino) : Whatever this thing is, it's creepy! How did it get in here! Why does she look so much like Susie? It's weird!! It's entirely made of smoothie, kinda like The Assilent! But why is she not as intelligent as him? Sometimes she can be found in vents! How the fuck did he get in there get him out

(I'm pretty sure you know what the purpose of the ingredients ((toppins)) are so I won't write about them)

Mr Trick! (Mr Stick) : Mr Trick here is a scammer!! Watch out!! He's very greedy, and would choose money over anything!

Nate! (Snick) : It's him!!

Orange Head... (Pizza Head) : He's the big bad of the pillar! The one who started it all! Boy I hate this guy! He knows... Strangely a lot about Susie... I wonder why!

Orange Face... (Pizza face) : He's a giant floating hunk of junk made by Orange Head! It's only that big so he can fit his fat ass inside!! Orange face chases Susie out of the levels once the timer reaches 0 so she can't get out! But Susie is usually too fast for him.

And last but not least...

Jerald! (Gerome) : He's the janitor/plumber of the pillar, the only one that has the key to special rooms!

GOD THAT WAS A LOT

anywaysss I hope you guys will enjoy this au as much as I do! Which is a lot!! This is basically my main au since I've been focusing on it a lot lately

But yeah!!! Holy shit!!! I can finally share this!!

Round 3, Poll 1!

Taranza's Sick-Ass Trauma GFs: Taransusie VS Taranzan!

Who's rarest, and who's pairest? Vote now, for your favourite rarepair!

Propaganda:

Taransusie

They both lost people in ways that it could be argued that it’s their fault, so they could both help each other through it. Plus, they have the opposites attract vibes too by one being pro plants and the other not.

There's only like 3 fics with them and I'm starving. They have the same situation where they lost a loved one that barely resembled the person they used to be by the time of their death, a corruption caused by something beyond their control, but also were involved in it. They both share grief and guilt, and could work on it together, Susie being more stoic and Taranza being way too open with his emotions, they balance eachother out. Also, girlboss x wet paper husband, enough said

I think they have a lot in common and could help each other heal some… they make me want to eat drywall

Taranzan

They both have a great parallel in the ones they looked up to and how they treated them and there's so much potential for bonding there.

[Added by Poll Runner] They're so. AUH!!! Their past mistakes are a point of contention but also sympathy, and it's so cool to see!! Love wins!! Mages from different sources who can work together and teach each other new things!!! Also. They are total fucking snarks. Both are so arrogant and pretentious <3

triscript explaination cause soapsei lost the poll

name explaination: tri (there's three of them) script (they're following the prophecy like a script)

ok so gaster does his silly survey and The Mysterious Third Entity tries to send the soul to the deltarune world but they fuck up and they send it to another fucked up world. triscript........

its basically deltarune but the characters are swapped but not that much. like some of them aren't that different from the canon ones

sooooo the soul ends up in susie's room but she doesn't want to absorb a human soul and get possessed (reasonably) and neither does the soul want to possess someone so she digs up an old toy and gives it to it as a vessel. then she goes downstairs for breakfast and alphys and undyne are her parents 👍 they go to school. undyne is her teacher so she does her job. but the chalk is missing!!!!!!!!!!!! so the soul and susie go to the closet but its a dark world etc etc

ralsei is the first darkner they meet and he sees susie and goes intruder alert!!!!!! and shoots magic at them

then he realizes it's the lightner (0_0)

uuummmmmm he sticks with them until castle town and noelle is there watering the plants or whatever and then she goes omg sorry and puts her hood on and explains the prophecy (a monster a darkner and an angel who have to banish the knight ooooooo spooky) and yeag. its basically deltarune

character info things

noelle is the angel and she's not a darkner or a lightner. shes from a weird place and got promoted and is now an angel...... SPOOKY!!!

she came to castle town two years before susie got into the closet and has been waiting with ralsei for the lightner to come. they're besties 👍

one thing they don't agree on is the prophecy. like noelle wants to follow it to the letter and sees it as the only correct way of living because of what she grew up listening to but ralsei wants to go against the creators who gave everyone such a cruel destiny.....

ralsei's the darkner and also the prince of the dark and he lived with his family until he turned 4 years old and the whole kingdom fucked off to who knows where because that's what the prophecy told them to do. he lived alone for 10 years until noelle got promoted

he hates the prophecy since he got left because of it and also hes claustrophobic. castle town is pretty small

in chapter one he leaves the party for a while because noelle keeps insisting on following the prophecy and he just wants to eat weird fruits with his new best bro...

susie's the monster and she's basically just a kid with no friends except for kris who's her neighbor. they used to be closer before asriel got sick but they still hang out sometimes

she takes most of the decisions herself but understands that the soul is smarter and more knowledgeable than her so sometimes she asks for its input. also the soul is like. another character

in fights the soul chooses everything because nobody wants to have to strategize

everything else is just the characters swapped ┐( '_' )┌

noelle's weapon is her wings (the cape thing she's wearing) ralsei has his staff and susie has a knife thing

OK. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS I CAN ANSWER THEM

BYE BYE

Junko: The Demi-God Who Hates To Feel Like A Burden

Junko is no stranger to the horror of war if anything she is the living body of it. To say she wasn’t a bit of a solider would be a understatement as she was trained to kill in all manner of way by The Entity may it be the poor souls in the realm she hooks and kills or it be the things she calls heretics may they be human or monster. But she was still, to some degree, human with needs and wants to be normal but as been told she has a odd “curse” so to speak. Every time she goes on a break from battle the heretics find her be it on a fancy cruise ship during 60, a nice prom dance in the 80 or even as checking out her home land of Japan they always find a way may it be greedy people who kill the passengers for gold, a girl who uses her magic to get revenge or demons just doing what they do best they always come and in the end Junko sits on a throne of body's of the heroics she killed as another day becomes work.  This time the curse was worse as she was forced to do nothing and survive the war worse yet she gotten sick during the first few day possibly getting her friend Susie sick too. Useless she felt as she waited for her strength to fight come back as she did her best to make herself useful even if it was small like playing a guitar Sam found and repaired to play some music to make it a bit better. One her fight run she went to the near by brewery to look for water as they were running low knowing if they found a way to make both a small farm and a trap to get meat they should be fine when they make a trap for small game mainly rats. The loot was good as one could tell water sugar and parts if they make plans to make a still for moonshine to either sell drink or find a way to make it useable for medical. Then she found a woman blocked of by rubble being followed by men like her....no that wasn’t true. Junko even when she self infected herself to become a crazed killing machine she had limits while these two walking dead men were toying with this woman. Junko saved the woman as she brought along her shovel but no knife or gun to fight then men off. But if people forget Junko didn't need a knife or gun to kill a man.  Oddly enough her friend Sam was a smart man who always went to Junko to learn more about The Entity and its other eldritch horrors but mainly he wished to learn more on Junko being...herself. When she came back telling of her ordeal and how she came back unharmed Tim and Susie were of course glad but Sam was a bit scared not of being sad Junko survived as while she had her times of abuse or anger she was a good enough friend unlike most the killers he seen who were blood hungry or just to dumb. He wondered at what that poor dead man thought when he saw a 18 or something year old girl with a shovel could do. Junko said he must at least be in his 30 tough looking man too but knowing Junko well enough he that man died like a dog being beaten down by a mad woman with a homemade shovel body now a bloody mess of bone and guts. Sadly the day before the 9th Tim gotten hurt by defending the home from bandits hurting him enough to use there last bandage. Susie went out to help the people who gave them some vegetables it wasn't hard just needed to fix up  the house to make it safer from the shelling. On that day Junko got a idea. There was a warehouse full of good shit but it had bandits armed with guns. High Risk High Reward. Armed with the AK-47 Tim found and the knife Susie made she went off. At the start she waited planning as she saw two guards talking about hitting a truck that could send supplies! Hearing that a part of her clicked as they fit her idea of a heretic and needed to die for the greater good. She sneaked in after them waiting for them to be far enough away to kill one by one. She took her chance and killed one and hid waiting for the second one to come close to open his neck off. She at that moment was a berserker a man or woman who could get shot or stabbed and keep on killing. When he got close she jumped him stabbing him to hell and back. Then his friend came running in with a double barrel shotgun and put two into her wounding her horribly but she killed him ripping his guts out. Then was adrenalin faded away and she felt the horrible pain she was in as tears rolled down her face thinking how fucking dumb she was. She then thought of how this was her fault she went along with her friends to go on vacation just for her?! She told Susie about her curse but Susie and the others didn't care what the worse that could happen??? This! This whole vacation went FUBAR because of Junko! Junko didn't care if she died but she was not dying here she was just needed to find bandages...then she could die. She found them in the upper areas and went home to see the tears in Susie eyes and the fear in the men as they rush to get Junko fixed up then in a nice bed to rest. 

“Why were you doing this?” Junko thought as even speaking was a painful task “Just let me die I’m a burden all of this is my fault!” She was fixed up and laid to rest for a while as the others where thinking of way to find more bandages for Junko. Then a knock came at the door with the sound a friendly-ish voice.  “Hello I got things to trade!” By God or The Entity blessing it was Franko a trader who comes by with some good stuff and today Sam was able to get two bandages selling some weapons they didn’t need. The next day was the 10th and was not at all eventful. Junko seems to be badly hurt so pray that they find supplies or else Junko will be going home soon. {Ok how and i thought Tim got his shit kicked in but nope Junko takes the cake. A couple of things first most importantly this will be a daily thing as said by the polls. Reap what you sow. Second I now know that Photographer, Sam job, is the worse one of the bunch as it should let him see hidden loot spots without needing to do the required thing but nope guess not. Sorry Sam. Three I was so happy to see Franko the trader when he came because I really was running out of bandages and needed them so God bless Franko you prefect man!}

Read this. Someone you know has lived these same experiences. This must end now.

David Gamble, Jr.

I grew up in Reno, Nevada.

In third grade a boy confidently tells me and my brother that his mom said black people cannot swim because our muscles are different than those of white people.

In middle school, standing among a group of white classmates talking video games, I am the only black child. One classmate expresses surprise that my family has enough money to afford a PlayStation.

In high school, I am the only black kid among a group of friends. When sharing drinks in my presence they frequently tell each other not to “niggerlip” the bottles. Even though I object, they continue to use the phrase.

In high school, my brother is at a teen house party that gets broken up by police, a common occurrence. The kids at the party scatter, also a common occurrence. My brother, the only black child in attendance, is the only one on whom a police officer draws a firearm to get him to stop running away. He is 14.

In high school, a group of my white friends frequently sneak on to the outdoor basketball courts at an athletic club to play. They can usually play for hours, including with club members. On the two occasions I attend, club members complain and we are ejected from the club within minutes.

In high school, I am excited about black history month and am talking to a friend about black inventors. My friend snorts and says, “Black people have never invented anything.”

In high school, as graduation approaches, many of my white friends tell me that I am lucky. They tell me that due to my skin color, I will get into any college I want.

I remain in Reno for college.

During college an employer keeps food for employees in the break room refrigerator. One morning I decided to have microwaveable chicken wings for breakfast. The employer tells me I might not want to eat that for breakfast with my skin color. The employer immediately apologizes.

In college I am standing in a group of white friends on campus. A white acquaintance of one of my friends approaches to chat. The acquaintance tells a story about something that frustrated him and then reels off a series of expletives ending with the word, “nigger.” None of my friends corrects him.

In college I visit an antique shop in Auburn, California with my girlfriend, who is white, and her parents. The shopkeeper follows me around the store whistling loudly as I browse, until we leave.

I move to San Diego, California for law school.

In law school, during a discussion in my criminal law class, a white classmate suggests that police officers should take a suspect’s race into account when determining whether there is reasonable suspicion to believe that an individual is committing a crime.

The weekend of my law school graduation my family comes to San Diego. I go to the mall with my brother and sister and visit the Burberry store. Two different employees follow us around the store – never speaking to us – until we leave.

After law school, I return to Reno.

A co-worker jokingly calls me “King David” upon seeing me each day. I joke that I’m not treated like a king. The co-worker then begins to call me “Slave David” each time we encounter one another. When I ask the co-worker to stop because it is hurtful, I am told by my co-worker that this is a problem that I have in my head.

I attend a pub crawl with friends. We end up at a party in a hotel suite in downtown Reno. I am greeted by a white man at the door who loudly expresses surprise that I am an “educated negro” upon hearing me speak.

I walk a friend who is a white woman from a restaurant to her car because it is night time. As we stand by the car chatting, a police officer pulls up and shines a light on us, asking if everything is okay. Once my friend confirms, the officer drives away. I tell her that he was worried about her, she teasingly says, “Oh yeah, because you’re so scary.” Later, I tell another white friend I felt racially profiled by the officer. My friend shrugs and says, “I don’t know man, that’s a stretch.”

A white friend tells me that white voters have become upset at black people because of black people’s liberal use of food welfare benefits. When I point out that more whites than blacks receive welfare benefits in the U.S., my friend expresses confusion at how that could be the case.

I leave a downtown restaurant with my wife. As we walk along the river a homeless man appears to be having a schizophrenic episode, engaging auditory hallucinations. Upon seeing me, he becomes lucid and begins to shout the word “nigger” over and over.

I discover that one of my clients does not want me to represent him as his Public Defender because he does not want a black attorney. I am given the option to withdraw as counsel. I do not.

Last year, I am at a barbecue chatting with a white acquaintance who asks if I have ever experienced racism. When I say it is a nearly daily occurrence, the acquaintance retorts, without missing a beat, “Bullshit.”

Two months ago. I am driving to lunch with the black teen I mentor. At a red light a white woman crosses the street. As I begin to drive, she turns around and screams at us, “F**k you f****ing nigger!”

Before any of these instances, my family of origin moved to Reno, Nevada from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1984.

My mother recently told me that when I was a very young child my parents hired a company to remove a tree from our front lawn. Two white men showed up and removed the tree. One of them carved a swastika into the stump. My father had to confront him and ask him to remove it.

Before that, my now 93 -year-old grandfather served in the Army National Guard and was stationed in the U.S. south. Despite being active duty, he was not allowed to eat in restaurants due to “whites only” signage. He had to wait for fellow Guardsmen to bring him food outside.

Not long before that, my family were slaves, owned by Americans of English and Irish descent, which is why – despite being primarily of African descent – I have an English last name.

This is my experience of being black in America. To be black in America is to be told over and over that you are not good enough, that you do not belong, that you are genetically unfit, that your physical presence is undesirable, and that everything about you – right down to your lips – is wrong. It is absolutely true that everyone experiences hardships in life, but the psychological weight of being told both explicitly and implicitly, on a daily basis, that your very existence is objectionable can at times feel unbearable.

And despite this experience, I still love my country, my state, and my city. Despite my experience, I would not choose to be anything other than a black American. The history of black people in this country is one of struggle and triumph. Our people were brought to this country as slaves and against all odds, in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles, have made our mark. Through slavery, poll taxes, literacy tests, redlining, and black codes we have persevered. Through the unspeakable horrors of mass lynchings; the Tuskegee syphilis experiments; and the massacres at Tulsa and Rosewood, we have persevered.

Bass Reeves, Dovey Johnson Roundtree, Sarah Boone, Oscar Micheaux, Shirley Chisholm, Dorie Miller, Susie King Taylor, Georgia Gilmore, Octavius Catto, Jack Johnson, Garrett Morgan, James W.C. Pennington. These are just a handful of extraordinary and oft forgotten black Americans who helped to mold and preserve the American Dream. These individuals and their accomplishments should not be regarded as “black history,” but rather as American history.

I am an American of privilege, which makes me an African American of great privilege. I am an attorney. I live in a safe neighborhood. My children do not worry about their next meal. I can afford child care. My family can afford personal vehicles. If my children become sick, I can take them to the doctor. If I am this privileged, and these have been my experiences, primarily in my own hometown, often with friends and acquaintances who are fond of me, and of whom I remain fond even now; just imagine what daily life must be like for a black person in this country who does not enjoy my level of privilege.

The protests in the streets of America are certainly about the killing of George Floyd, but not just about George Floyd. They are about countless black men, women, and children for whom the punishment did not fit the crime – if indeed there was a crime at all. We live in a country where, in order to recall what life under Jim Crow felt like, many white Americans must pick up a history book. Meanwhile, many black Americans need only pick up a telephone, and call their parents.

When we as people of color share our experiences, we are not doing so to score political points, “play the race card,” get sympathy, assign blame, or to make you feel bad about yourself. We are asking you for help. We are asking you to join us in the ongoing fight against racism in our country, because we cannot do it alone. It will take Americans of every stripe to eradicate racism from American society.

I am now asking for your help. Please seek truth and knowledge. When sharing information, please check your sources and make sure that they are reliable. Try to place what is happening today into a historical context. Read about systemic racism and anti-racism. When your friends of color tell you that racism is real and affecting their lives, believe them and then, if you can, do something about it.

My children are likely to attend the same middle school and high school that I did. It is my great hope for them that those around them have the knowledge, compassion, and guidance to know better than to daily deluge them with words that make them doubt their intelligence, their beauty, and their worth as human beings based only on the color of their skin; and instead judge them by the content of their character.

It is for all of the above reasons, and so many more that we proudly say #blacklivesmatter

If you like, tell me your answer and how old you are in the tags, I'm curious if the youngins know about these

I'm curious since it's such a popular form of humor on this site (smooth shark, "I simply wouldn't have died at Pompeii because I would've left", etc)....

disclaimer: a lot of these still own a piece of my 26 year old queer soul.

"who's your mario kart main" this "who's your super smash bros main" that in my house we didn't have those games but we did play a lot of board games

note: some of these characters are only available in certain (often discontinued) editions of the game. so if you haven't heard of them, that's why.

second note: some editions change the core six's titles (mr. green was originally rev. green, and in a newer edition he's mayor green, for example). so again, if those are different, that's why.

Included what I hope is a decent mix of vintage and modern annoyances. Reblog for a bigger sample size!

mentopolis isn't out as of the time of this poll, so no option for it.