#still haven’t decided if I should tag that or not lmao
Note
94.) Whispered praises against the other’s lips, which are met with soft whimpers and moans. 97.) In a hoarse whisper, “Fuck, you’re killing me here.” 147.) “Fuck, you have such a tight hold on me, you don’t even know.” 150.) “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted so badly.” For Sleep Token, all 4 or just Vessel! Whatever you have the desire to do!!
Thank you for the request! I ended up leaving the 150 off cause i couldn't find where it'd fit in this idea i thought up, so i hope that's okay!
Anyway, this is almost 1,000 words of filth lmao I decided to go with poly!sleep token, and also used AFAB!Reader
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!, Oral (fem receiving), finger sucking, praise (lemme know if i need to tag something else, im forgetful!!)
You had not planned for the day to end up the way it had, you weren’t sure that your boyfriends had either. You were in bed, head on IV’s lap as II and III were on either side of you, rubbing up your arm or nuzzling into your neck.
You were being reduced to a puddle of moans as Vessel had placed himself between your legs. Your legs twitched and your hips bucked as you waited for Vessel to do more than massage your thighs and nip and suck at the soft, plump flesh.
You finally pushed out words, your voice hoarse from everything going on, “Fuck, you’re killing me here.”
“We’re just getting started,” Vessel let out a laugh as he looked up at you, “and you’re already so needy…”
A hand ran through your hair and you looked up at IV through half-lidded eyes. He lowered his head, his forehead bumping yours in praise, letting you know you were doing great. You swallowed hard and your eyes shut tight as Vessel finally grabbed the elastic of your underwear. Your back arched and your breath caught, and IV was quick to place a ‘kiss’ against your lips.
You let out a breathy moan and when IV pulled away you could see his pupils blow wide. You had not realized how much of an effect you could have on someone, much less four people at once.
Your underwear was quickly pulled from your hips, down your legs, and thrown across the room. You were completely naked now, on full display in front of the men. You let out a soft whine as you waited for Vessel’s next move.
Vessel’s hands, still massaging your thighs, froze. His grip on you suddenly tightened and you looked up at him, head still resting in the lap of IV.
“Watch me.” His voice was stern, serious, causing you to only nod.
Vessel smiled against your thigh, nipping the soft skin, before moving to your cunt. His tongue was slow to lick a stripe up it. He pulled you closer to him, his grip only growing tighter, most definitely bruising the skin.
“Ves-” You moaned out, your voice cracking from pleasure.
“So good-” III stroked your arm, the words pushing from his mouth like he was using every inch of strength to speak. He nuzzled into your neck and your eyes cut to him. III put his forehead to yours, “So good… For us…”
You let out the softest whimper, your eyes met his and you saw a hunger that lit a fire in you. A hunger you should be used to, but it always catches you off guard.
Vessel paid no mind to the others, as they praised you. Instead he continued to feast upon you as if you were his last meal. You were writhing and moaning, and your entire body was tensing. Your hips jolted upward once you felt his thumb ghost over your clit, testing the waters. You let out a loud whine and Vessel laughed against you, sending you further into your spiral of pleasure.
“Vessel!” Your hips rolled into him, “Please, I need to- Please let me-”
“Let you what?” Vessel pulled away, two of his fingers dipping into you and slowly pumping in and out. You looked at him with wide eyes. “You haven’t even been doing what I asked, and you want to cum?”
You couldn’t help but pout at him, “I- I-” You freeze. There was so much going on, how were you supposed to stay focused solely on him?
Vessel lowers himself back to your pussy and you tense, “They want to see you come undone, so I will allow it this time.” Vessel, as smug as ever, goes back fucking you with his tongue, his thumb moving back to your clit.
It doesn’t take much, after that you're almost seeing stars. You're whimpering and moaning out for them. For release. You were so close. Vessel’s tongue picked up the pace, his thumb moving away from you. He began to suck a your clit, and a knot formed in your stomach. You were quickly coming undone. Your hips jerked and you let out a cry of pleasure.
Before you knew it, your orgasm hit hard and fast. Your toes curled and your breath caught in your throat. Vessel kept going, his pace slowing, he knew what he was doing to you.
“Please, Ves-” You whined, “Fuck!”
“So, so pretty…” Vessel finally pulls away from you and your body is sprawled out for them to see. “You look so good screaming out my name.” Vessel was quick to notice your mouth was open and he smirked to himself. He placed two fingers into your mouth, resting on your tongue. “Suck.”
You were quick to oblige. Your eyes locked with his and slowly blinked up at him, sucking on his fingers.
“Fuck, you have such a tight hold on me, you don’t even know.” Vessel growled out. “So obedient, all for us.”
You lie there, spent. Bruised thighs and heavy breathing. For a moment, you were thankful that it was still cold enough to hide those bruises. You knew Vessel was thinking the opposite though. He wanted people to know who you belonged to.
He pulled his fingers from your mouth and you closed your eyes briefly. Your chest heaved and your breathing was loud, ragged. Vessel, content with himself, stood from you and looked at II, III, and IV and then back to you.
“Who’s next, Y/N?”
You could feel your body growing excited again. You weren’t sure you could pick just one, it was going to be a hard decision.
#sleep token fanfiction#sleep token#sleep token smut#vessel x reader#sleep token vessel#my beloved smut prompts#ask#answered#tokendarling
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oscar luncheon (ccg universe)
words: 3,392
ship: austin butler x reader
summary: (request from @stylespresleyhearted ): “Luci attending the Oscar luncheon with her daddy and being an absolute princess”
notes: timeline is just a bit wonky to make luci around 2 for this. suspend your beliefs about time here for the ccg universe lmao
warnings: none
tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @rairaielv
You’re not one hundred percent sure this is the best idea.
It’s not that Luci doesn’t do well at events, she does, she’s had two whole years of doing things with her parents. Award shows, dinners, red carpets, doesn’t matter. She’s well-behaved, soaks up every experience almost like a tiny movie star. You and Austin are lucky, you know that. You haven’t had to put either of your passions on the back burner to raise a child—not to say you wouldn’t have if you had to, in a heartbeat. Your lives have shifted, of course, but everything feels as if it’s been a lateral move.
At least for right now.
Regardless, Luci has always been an angel in taking her to events. You and Austin are still learning, sussing out how she does, when you need to cut things short or push the envelope. And it’s worked out in your favor so far but…
“I’m just not sure an all-day event is a good idea.” It’s the Oscar Luncheon, something that Austin obviously shouldn’t miss, but you’re debating what attendance should look like.
You’re on the couch with your husband, picking apart the week’s schedule. One of the things you love most about him is his ability to always have a conversation with you—doesn’t matter what it’s about. He’s willing, you both decide on things together, you hash out feelings or disagreements. It might seem like something small? But it makes the biggest difference.
Austin shifts a little against the cushions, his long body sprawled out, his back resting on the arm of the couch. Your body is angled towards his, along his legs. His one hand holds onto yours, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles while the other keeps Luci against his chest. She’s found a place to sleep, again, but this is a typical spot for her. She’s been known to just…find Austin when she wants to nap. She so reminds you of some sort of cat that kneads blankets or pillows before curling up to sleep.
Honestly it’s one of the biggest moods you could ever identify with—before your daughter took up that residence, it was one of your favorite sleeping spots too. Sometimes you’re lucky enough to steal it back.
“Oh you mean cause of this?” Austin asks, his voice an octave lower as he speaks to you, not wanting to wake Luci. He runs his fingers through his hair, amusement dancing in his eyes.
You roll yours, a soft laugh sounding, “I mean yeah, to start.” You chew on your lower lip, shrugging your one shoulder, “She’s been cranky lately.”
“So unsure where she’d get that from.”
You playfully smack his shoulder and he smirks. “She’s been favoring you,” And sure, that makes sense—Luci is learning the world around her, she’s also figuring out boundaries. She flip flops between both of them, suddenly becoming the favorite parent that she can’t get enough of, and currently (repeatedly) it’s Austin. Which means, “She started crying when you decided to carry that sack of potatoes at the grocery store to the check-out instead of her.”
“I think you were a little jealous too,” He teases but he doesn’t completely disregard what you’re saying, “I think goin’ to this event and figuring it out, there’s no shame in that. We’re still learnin’ as parents how this is all going to fit together.” He smiles over at you, lifting your hand to press a kiss to your knuckles.
He’s right, there’s no shame in figuring it out. You can bring Luci and see what works and what doesn’t. You just…there’s a bit of stress that comes automatically. But you guess if Luci can’t handle it or she starts that swell of temper tantrums that sometimes happen over the smallest things, you’ll just take her out, keep her occupied, begin all over again. You’re not gonna have Austin miss out on this opportunity, not when it’s so well-deserved.
“If I got to give a few interviews with her on my lap, don’t think anyone is gonna give me a hard time about it.”
A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth because no, you’d agree with that. Who wouldn’t want to see a beautiful, well-dressed man holding his daughter in his arms to give an interview? Besides, you and Austin are versed in reading one another’s needs, almost seamless at this point between cues and body language. If you need to take her for a few things, you can do that. Who knows—maybe being in Luci’s favor will swing back around.
“Just gotta remember snacks this time for your suit pockets.”
Austin laughs, mostly air leaving his nose, “Don’t worry—won’t make that mistake twice. Forgot a snack once and it was like World War III.”
“Goldfish-Gate.” You snicker and Austin rolls his eyes even though he’s smiling.
You let the room settle a little before drawing in a deep sigh, glancing over at your daughter asleep on your husband’s chest. It’s one of your most favorite sights in the world, her curled up against him, her body gently rising and falling as Austin breathes. You smile, leaning over to press a kiss to the back of her head before kissing him, quick but intimate. It’s says everything without uttering a word.
Austin licks his lips, his eyes following you for a moment as you lean back against the couch. There’s something in the blue of his eyes, like he wants to say something or comment on something you’re unsure about. It could be about the Oscar luncheon but you have a feeling he wants to assure you that even though Luci’s fondness has fallen to him lately, that she still looks to you sometimes as if you’ve hung the moon. You’ve learned to not let it bother you, both you and Austin bring so much to the table as parents, it makes sense that Luci is learning what each of those things are. She can love you both for different intentions—that’s okay.
And you’re constantly reminded through her, every day, that there are plenty of reasons to love Austin. So there’s no blaming Luci.
“You know, speakin’ of all this favoring,” Austin begins, leaning up just a little to wrap an arm around your shoulders, “You know I favor you.”
You snort out a laugh, shaking your head because he’s…so fucking corny sometimes (even though you absolutely love it). He’s encouraging you to lean against him and the couch cushion, so both you and Luci will have space along his chest.
“God, stop.”
“I do,” Austin smiles, kissing you slowly. When you try to pull away, he speaks against your lips, “I favor you.”
Your cheeks thrum pink and this familiar yet somehow age-old butterflying happens in your stomach. You get more comfortable against him, tugging down a blanket to throw over both your legs and along Luci’s back and continue to kiss him. Slow, no urgency, committing sensations to memory.
You definitely favor him too.
--
There are moments in which you catch yourself doing an inventory of your life and this is one of those times. You’re standing off to the side of all the cameras flashing, a soft smile on your face as you watch Austin photographed against the navy blue Annual Oscars Nominees backdrop. He’s wearing this tight-patterned slate suit and he just—he does this part so well, he looks good, absolutely ready to mingle and have this chapter be a well-earned part of his life. You couldn’t be happier for him. Austin does his series of poses, glancing over every so often to check on you. That’s one of the things you think you love about him the most—there are so many sides to Austin but they’re all genuinely him. He’s the same hard-working passionate actor at home and the same silly, loving, protective husband and father here at this event.
He makes a gentle motion with his hand, offering for you to come and stand with him to get pictures but you shake your head. Not that you haven’t done this plenty of times before, but this is his moment, you can stand to the side and let him bask in it. There are so many other times to get their shared picture today—you know that candids will be captured automatically.
You’re wearing a sleek black dress with puffy mesh sleeves and Luci has on a matching version, just a bit shorter so she doesn’t trip on it. You hold her in your arms and smile as she can’t take her eyes off Austin, pressing a kiss to her cheek. That seems to get her attention and she giggles, wrapping her arms around your neck.
“Is that daddy?” You ask her when Austin finishes up and makes his way over to you. He reaches for your both, pressing a kiss to Luci’s forehead before kissing you briefly. There’s camera flashes, capturing moments you’ll no doubt see on Instagram later.
“Here.” Austin offers and you pass Luci over because you’ve got a nice dress on and she’s getting heavier by the day. He takes her seamlessly, wrapping one arm around her body and keeping her secure on his hip while his other arm slips around you to begin walking forward into the luncheon.
Luci is a chatterbox the moment you enter the event and honestly, it’s a beautiful space—these are the exact same moments you referred to before, almost like you can’t really believe you’re here. Some sort of dreamscape, pinching yourself to wake up. Half the time you come to these things and you don’t…feel like you quite belong, straddling the line of normalcy from which you’ve come from and diving in head-first into Austin’s world. It just doesn’t feel like something you can call your own yet—maybe one day. Austin doesn’t entertain that in the slightest.
Any time you mention giving him his own space to enjoy things he’s worked for or say things like this has nothing to do with me, Austin replies, it has everythin’ to do with you. And you know he means that—he ties any of his successes and his passions right to you. It’s something you’re still getting used to, that’s for sure, half the time you’re trying to just keep yourself out of the way at events like this, but Austin reminds you that you are worthy of being right in the mix of it.
You remember the schedule that Austin has other than to brush shoulders with people, he has a few interviews to sit in on, photographs that need taken. You smile as you head outside to the pool area with him, Luci brightening at the sight.
“Swim!” She exclaims, pointing at the water, her other hand playing with one of the brown buttons of Austin’s suit jacket.
“Can’t right now baby,” Austin tells her, squeezing her gently.
He reaches for your hand and keeps a hold of it, lingering near the pool for a few moments. You take a look around the edges—tall tables set up with hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne, interview spots with backdrops and cameras. Smoothing out your dress, people come and go to say hello and congratulate Austin, always pausing to say hello to you and something to Luci. A small smile tugs at the corners of your mouth because your daughter is enamored by this pool being here and you kinda wish it was the type of event where you could have brought suits and waded in.
Taking in a small breath, you turn and motion with your chin towards one of the interview backdrops, “SiriusXM?”
Austin hums in confirmation, fixing Luci’s dress a bit before he places her on the ground. She grabs onto his hand instantly and it’s always been amusing to you because Austin has to lean down, just a little, because of his height.
“Shouldn’t take too long.”
You laugh gently, “Don’t worry about us Austin, you don’t have to rush through anything.”
He smiles down at you and you press yourself up on your toes to plant a kiss to his cheek. Because you know that Luci’s going to be slightly difficult when Austin leaves, you open up your purse to hand her one of her favorite dino figurines for her to hold onto. She wraps her arms around your leg and you thread your fingers through her hair as Austin moves towards Jess Cagle to greet him and sit down in the director-like chair.
You overhear him comment, “I see you brought your beautiful family today,” To which Austin’s reply is, “Thank you—yeah, they’re never too far behind.”
He situates himself in the director-chair, adjusting his suit jacket and taking a bottle of water to have a few sips. Luci is watching with attentive eyes, tearing her attention between the dino in her hand, the pool, and her father. You smile, wishing you were in the type of outfit and at the kind of event where you could just sit down on the ground with her.
She entertains herself for the most part, telling you about how this particular dino loves the water and even dips it into the pool a few times. You ask her questions and smile about the responses, Luci every so often looking up and around at all the sights and sounds with much commentary. Eventually though, she realizes that Austin isn’t coming back as quickly as she’d like. You take her hand as she stands from the concrete, holding onto her dino and tilting her head to look in the direction that her dad has gone.
You follow her gaze, a small smile on your lips as you watch Austin talk with his hands.
“You see him working?”
“Yeah,” Luci confirms though her voice kinda sounds far away, definitely in thought. Then—what you knew was coming, “I want daddy.”
You hum, crouching down a little to playfully tug on the bottom of her dress, which makes her smile. “Daddy’s busy right now, okay? He’s almost done.”
She does not like that answer and gives a soft whine in protest. She takes a few steps forward and you scoop her up because she’s fast and slippery when she wants to be, knowing she’ll take off in a sprint towards Austin if she gives herself enough time to. She whimpers and squirms, attempting to tug your hands away. You can’t help but feel a bit amused, fondly thinking of the word brat, because her mannerisms are the exact same depending on who she’s favoring for the day. You remember her having the same wriggle fest last week when Austin was holding her at a food truck and you went to go grab napkins. Luci didn’t quite get to crying there but you can tell she’s close here, big fat tears filling her pretty eyes. You swear she somehow does this on purpose when it comes to Austin because it’s definitely kryptonite for him.
Luci hiccups something dramatic and Austin turns just a bit in his chair to glance at you both. You mouth the word sorry, attempting to shush her but he shakes his head, “S’alright, bring her here.” He clears his throat, “Sorry, Jess—” He says a bit offhandedly and opens his arms for you to bring Luci closer. You smile at the host, putting her onto his lap.
He squeezes your wrist in empathy before you back up out of the interview, Luci wiping both of her cheeks with her hands, her dino now resting on her lap.
“She knows exactly what she’s doing, doesn’t she?” Cagle comments with a soft laugh and you can’t help but roll your eyes in amusement. Austin hums but doesn’t comment, a soft smile tugging the corners of his mouth as he smooths Luci’s hair back from her face.
He tugs the goldfish out of his jacket pocket, handing it to her—and just like that, she’s pulls a one-eighty, content on her dad’s lap and quietly eating her snack. You shake your head, running a hand through your hair as you watch Austin complete his interview, balancing himself perfectly between responding to questions and tending to his daughter.
Once the interview is over, you move to pick Luci up so that Austin can stand and shake hands with Cagle to thank him before moving out and around and back towards the pool with you. Austin joggles between putting the goldfish back into his suit pocket, handing you the dino figurine to put in your purse and shifting Luci back into his arms as she turns her face into his neck and shoulder.
“Right on schedule,” You tease, knowing she’s going to try and sleep—and what better place than Austin’s chest? You can’t quite disagree there.
“She comes by it honestly,” Austin replies, running a hand up and down her back, “So do you.”
You smirk, giving him a winning smile with a small shrug, “Don’t think you should be blaming me for the fact that you’re incredibly comfortable.”
Austin laughs a little, shaking his head in soft amusement because right.
The rest of the luncheon goes by smoothly, lots of mingling and decent food, great moments for Austin to shine. Even after all this time, you’re not sure how to put into words that feeling of being so utterly proud of him, of conveying how much you love him.
Once it’s over, you feel beat, definitely an emotionally exhausting day in the very best of ways. Luci’s perked up since eating and she’s giving you an earful about different types of birds she’s seen within today alone. You hold her against your chest, giving her as much attention as you can manage, asking questions about colors and numbers and things she should be practicing as she talks about the birds she’s seen. She’s so incredibly observant, a brightness to her aura that always reminds you of Austin.
“Want me to take her?” He asks, turning to brush some hair out of Luci’s face, “Before she talks your ear off about birds?”
You laugh lightly and shake your head, “Nah, she’s fine.” You appreciate the offer though, not exactly the easiest when you feel dead on your feet in heels. She’s definitely growing too, every day, and the thought makes you squeeze her a bit tighter because…there will come a time when you won’t be holding her in your arms like this, when she’ll be too big to be picked up.
The SUV pulls up to the curb that you arrived in and both you and Austin exit the hotel to walk straight there. There aren’t as many moments anymore for Austin to stop and talk to fans when you’ve got Luci and you feel bad about that? But you’re grateful that he’s attentive where he needs to be. He keeps a firm hand on your lower back, guiding you towards the car, a small smile on his lips as he waves to fans, photographers and interviews alike. You get Luci situated in her car seat, closing the door once that’s done and sliding into the back with Austin.
You feel like you’re finally able to let out a sigh of relief once the SUV begins moving, Luci having a very one-sided conversation with her dinosaur as the driver takes you home. Austin inches a bit closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. It takes little to nothing for you to lean into his embrace, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment as you breathe in the scent of his skin and cologne, tucking your face into the crook of his neck. You can feel his breathing, the strong pulse against the tip of your nose.
“Think the event went really well.” He says, a few fingers running through your hair before he lazily massages your shoulder.
You hum, a small yawn slipping out before nodding, “Totally knew it would.”
Austin chuckles, shaking his head. He doesn’t say anything for a few moments, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek, “You gonna fall asleep on me?” He whispers in your ear. You barely nod, inching a bit closer—as if it’s even possible. He squeezes you close, “Like mother, like daughter.”
#austin butler#austin butler x reader#austin butler fic#austin butler imagine#elvis 2022#mccall writes things#ccg
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Endorphins (Part 1)
Pairing: Reader/Billy Russo
Warnings: cursing, angst, pain, the usual dark shit. I don't wanna tag it too like specifically to keep the suspense alive lmao the usual Punisher type of bullshit. It’s nothing you haven’t read before if you’ve read my other angsty shit.
A/N: Soooo this was a request but it turned into multiple parts because I got carried away. And I don't wanna put the request on here like I usually do because of spoilers lmaooo Also, I’ll just be posting these one after the other ‘cause I just wanna get this out there.
But to answer the rest of your ask anon, I know, I was away awhile. Life hasn’t been kind to me and then I ended up knee-deep in another fandom lmao But I’m back babeeeyyyy!! ;)
Also, the name of this series is from a Don Broco song with the same name. If you don’t know who they are, check them out. They’re my fav band and I love them.
Endorphins are running through my veins and it's pathetic
Endorphins are rushing out my brain and it's pathetic
Mighty morphing into a piece of shit, it's so pathetic
I'm so pathetic
I'm so pathetic
—--------------------
Your leg bobbed nervously, eyes darting around at the other people sitting around in the hallway. You were interviewing for a job at a company called Anvil. It was a secretary/PA position. You'd done this kind of work before but the company you'd been working for had to close down, so now you were broke and out of work. You knew Anvil was doing well. The company had gained a reputation for itself and working here would mean good pay and opportunities. But the company wasn't the only thing that had a reputation. You'd heard many things about the man sitting on the throne. A serial womanizer. Rumor was, his last PA was fired after he fucked her. And she wasn’t the first. But maybe that's all it was. A rumor. But still, as you looked at the other people here, you couldn't help but feel like a sack of potatoes. All the leggy pretty women that looked like they should be on a catwalk and not interviewing for a job like this. If he really was as shallow as you'd heard, you'd have no chance. You'd not had to be interviewed in so long, being at your last job for as long as you did, and the nerves were chipping at you. You were just considering bolting out of the door when your name was called by a blonde woman with a kind face.
She'd introduced herself to all of the interviewees as Karen Page. She'd told you all that while she didn't technically work here, she helped out from time to time. Her partner was Frank, the head trainer and Billy Russo's best friend. You blinked at her for a long moment, eyes wide as your heart hammered in your chest. She gave you a warm and encouraging smile as you stood. Your legs felt like jello, ready to give out at a moment's notice. You hadn't expected to be so nervous here. But you were on the verge of losing your apartment and you needed this job. But you weren't like all the others here. Calm and composed, seemingly not fussed in the least about the interview. You stuck out like a sore thumb and you were sure that's why Karen decided to give your arm a reassuring squeeze when you stood next to her outside of Mr Russo's office.
"You've got this," she smiled warmly. You wondered if she felt bad for you. You knew you must have looked ridiculous with how nervous you were. You blew out a shaky breath with a nod.
"I've got this," you repeated, not too convincingly as your voice wobbled. After one more smile, Karen opened the door for you. You stepped in, almost flinching at the sound of the door shutting behind you.
The office was large yet simple. A minimalist look to it. Only one painting hung on the wall. Some scenic oil painting that looked legit and like it cost a shit tonne of money. You swallowed thickly as your eyes landed on the man behind the desk. His suit looked like it was made just for him and his hair was perfectly styled. And now you had to impress him or you'd be living in a cardboard box on the streets.
"Mr Russo," you greeted meekly, a polite yet shy smile on your face.
"Ms Y/L/N, please take a seat," he said cordially, gesturing to the chair on the other side of his desk. You walked over, sitting down before your eyes flit around anxiously. There was no way in hell you'd be able to impress this man given your competition. Your heart thudded away dully in your chest. When your eyes landed back on him, he was already watching you. His eyes were dark, darker than you’d ever seen before. They felt like they saw right through you and sucked you in all at the same time. His lips quirked up slightly and you realized you'd just been sitting there looking at him like a deer in the headlights. You felt your cheeks burn.
"I'm sorry. I swear I'm not usually this… nervous. It's just been a long time since I've had to sit for an interview," you admitted with a self-deprecating chuckle. You figured if you couldn't win him over with looks, you might as well just be honest with him.
He smiled at you, glancing at the paper on his desk.
"I noticed. Your resume is quite impressive. A loyal employee. You worked at Johnson and Sons for…-" he trailed off as he glanced to the paper again.."-8 years. He must have thought you were a good employee to keep you on that long," he mused, his dark eyes going back to you. You felt your face heat up a little at the compliment as you looked down at your hands clasped in your lap.
"I guess so," You shrugged with a wry smile.
"Mr Johnson was a good man. Was a shame what happened to him," he murmured thoughtfully. A small frown creased your brow as you felt a pinch in your chest. Mr Johnson had worked his whole life to get his business to where it ended up. And then a month ago he had a heart attack in the middle of a meeting. You'd witnessed it. Now he was dead and instead of his sons carrying on the business as they were supposed to, they closed it down.
"He was a good man. He always looked after me," you replied sadly. He gave you a sympathetic look, His finger tapping on the desk a little.
"So… why do you think you'd be a good fit here at Anvil?" He asked you, eyes boring into you. You licked your lower lip, mouth suddenly feeling dry like all the moisture had evaporated.
"I'm a hard worker. I always go above and beyond what's expected of me. If you need me to do something, then I’ll do it. Whether it's staying here late to help you prep for a big meeting or just running down the street to get you a bagel and coffee,” you tried to sound confident but you weren’t sure if you succeeded or not. He nodded, leaning back in his chair a little like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“I gotta be honest, when I saw the name on your resume, I already knew who you were before I read it,” he said, lips tugging into a wry smirk as you blinked at him.
“You did?” you asked, slightly confused. He chuckled, raking his teeth over his lower lip as he looked at you.
“I did a lot of business with Mr Johnson. He never shut up about you, how good his PA was. Made me pretty jealous about it. I don’t know if you remember, but we met two years ago, at the Charity ball for homeless people your company ran,” he murmured, a note of amusement in his voice. Your brows furrowed a little as you tried to remember the night. You’d planned all of it and Mr Johnson insisted you attend it to at least enjoy the fruits of your labors. He’d even bought you a swanky dress that was still sitting in your closet despite the fact you'd never use it again. You couldn't just chuck something away that you knew cost so much. You tried to quickly flip through the memories of the night. You’d met so many people then, so many business contacts. And then you remembered briefly being introduced to Mr Russo but you hadn't done more than say a polite hello with a smile. Mr Johnson liked to call you a workaholic. Even at the event you were working and making sure things were in order, taking notes when important people were around.
“I completely forgot about that,” you muttered, feeling a little sheepish. You weren't quite sure how you could forget someone like Mr Russo. He shot you another amused grin as he shrugged lazily.
“I’m not surprised. Mr Johnson said you’d work yourself to death. You were supposed to be enjoyin’ the party and instead you were workin’ your ass off,” he teased. You bit your lip with a smile, feeling a little more at ease with him the more he spoke. He was intimidating yet calming at the same time and it was strange.
“Yep, sounds about right,” you snorted. He moved to sit forward again, hands clasped on his desk in front of him.
“Look… I’ll be real transparent with you, Y/N. Your resume is one of many I’ve had to go through, but as soon as I saw your name, I already knew who I was gonna pick. If you got Mr Johnson's stamp of approval then you already got mine. I know he didn’t keep anyone on his team that wasn’t capable of workin’ hard and keepin’ cool under pressure. I knew you’d be perfect for the job. I’d be stupid to hire anyone else out there over you,” he admitted, his face deadly serious as his dark gaze cut into you. You blinked dumbly at him for a moment. You weren’t really expecting this. You’d been sure you didn't have a chance. And you felt flattered that Mr Johnson had been so impressed with you that he’d spoken about you so much.
“Really?” you asked, feeling stupid as soon as the words left your mouth. His serious face changed then as his lips quirked up at you.
“Really. If you want the job, it's yours,” he offered with a warm smile. All the nerves that had gripped you tightly since you’d walked in seemed to melt from you, your body sagging a little in relief after being held so tightly for so long.
“I really do want the job,” you nodded eagerly. His grin widened then, reaching a hand out for you to shake. You took it, shaking it with a smile.
“Welcome to the family, Y/N. I think you’ll love it here,” he grinned.
—-
You pulled your coat tighter around yourself to stave off the bite of chilly wind as you walked briskly home. Your heels sounded like the only noise in the street, clicking on the pavement at your hurried steps. You’d been working with Anvil for exactly a week. It was Monday and you’d quickly gathered Monday was a busy day. There would always be tonnes of messages for you to sift through that had come through at the weekend. You didn’t mind it though. It was pretty much the same as it had been back at your other job. You’d met mostly everyone there and everyone seemed nice. Frank had been polite and sweet to you, which hadn't been expected with his grumpy face. You'd even gotten to know Karen a little better. She’d come in sometimes to see Frank and wind up speaking to you for a bit too. Mr Russo was a really good boss too. Not the hard ass like you thought he might be. He’d even shown you the ropes himself and made a point of showing you around and introducing you to people there. Overall, you were enjoying the job. But as you walked home, you were feeling an unsettling feeling and it wasn't the first time you'd felt it since you started working there. It started on your second day. You’d been walking home when you felt uneasy. That feeling you get when you know someone’s watching you. You knew you were being paranoid, you hadn't seen anyone when you’d glanced around. But the hairs on the back of your neck were prickling up and it made your stomach churn. You’d convinced yourself you were being silly. It was an overactive imagination or something. But it happened every night when you walked home from work. You’d never felt this way when working at your old job and you couldn't shake it. And so, as it happened once again, you hurried home feeling your chest constrict like you were on the verge of a panic. You’d never been an overly anxious person walking around, even at night. You knew what New York could be like but it didn't really bother you. So you weren’t quite sure just why you were feeling this way. You always felt like you were ready to get snatched into an alleyway or something. You hated it. You wished it wasn’t winter. It wouldn't be dark on your way home in the summer.
As you were almost at your apartment, you heard a crash from the other side of the street. Your head whipped around quickly, your heart stuttering for a moment. On the other side of the street, there was a figure all in black, a hood pulled over their head and obscuring their face. It looked like they’d knocked over a trash can. There was something really ominous feeling about the person, especially since he hadn't been there when you’d looked over your shoulder a few minutes before. You turned around quickly and ran the rest of the way, almost ripping the door to your apartment building off the hinges once you let yourself in. You stood in the hallway, chest heaving a little as you told yourself to get it together. You were being stupid. It wasn't like you were the only person allowed out at night. It was probably just some guy minding his own business. You walked back over to the door, peeping through the long window curiously. You felt your stomach drop when you saw the hooded figure across the road standing there unmoving. Looking right at your building. You backed away slowly, trying to shake the uncomfortable feeling settling in the pit of your stomach as you rushed up the stairs. It was only once you were in your apartment you felt a little safe. When you chanced a glance out of your window, the figure was gone and you felt yourself unwind a little. It was weird and you didn't like it. You wondered if you should mention it to Mr Russo. He did own a security firm after all. Maybe he could give you some tips to keep yourself safe. You weren't quite sure why it had only just started but maybe Anvil came with some cons as well as pros. You weren't sure but you found it hard to go to sleep that night.
—--
You stood outside of Mr Russo’s office anxiously, gnawing at your lower lip. It was lunchtime and you’d already given him his lunch. But you’d been on the fence about speaking to him about your nightly scares or not. Once the morning came, you weren't sure if you’d been imagining it or not. You felt a little bit silly going to him about it. But you’d be a liar if you said you weren't already dreading the walk home. It wasn't far which is why you never bothered with a cab. You were starting to wonder if maybe you should start. After heaving a large breath, you knocked on his door firmly. Once he told you to come in, you opened the door and hovered inside uncertainly.
“Mr Russo… could I speak to you a moment?” you asked tentatively.
“I keep tellin’ you, call me Billy. Come and sit down,” he gestured to the seat, giving you a smile as he balled up his sandwich wrapper and tossed it into the trash can. His casual demeanor put you at ease instantly. He’d been telling you to call him Billy since your first day but for some reason your brain was having a hard time with it. To be fair to you, you’d never done it with Mr Johnson despite his insistence to call him by his first name.
“Billy, sorry,” you murmured wryly as you moved to sit down.
“What's worrying you?” he asked pointedly, raising a brow at you.
“How do you know I’m worried?” you countered, giving him an amused smirk. Despite being cordial and professional with him, he had a way of always putting you at ease and making you feel comfortable. It had been easy to talk to him in your short time here and he’d even joke with you sometimes. You’d admit it was refreshing working with someone closer to your own age. He gave you a look that you’d quickly learnt meant ‘cut the bullshit’ and you sighed.
“It’s… It’s gonna sound stupid. I think I’m just being paranoid or something,” you muttered, feeling your cheeks burning a little at your words. You felt silly in front of him now.
“Paranoid or not, somethin’s got you worried. You know you can talk to me. What happened?” he asked seriously. You chewed on your lower lip again, fiddling with your hands on the desk as your eyes landed on anything other than him. Suddenly his large and warm hand settled over yours, stilling their restless motions and your eyes snapped to his. That was another thing you weren’t quite used to. Mr Johnson never put his hands on you, no matter how gentle. Billy had done it a few times. Just little touches like a squeeze to the arm, his hand on your back for the briefest of moments. You didn't mind it though really.
“I think… I think someone’s been following me home,” you admitted quietly. A deep frown graced his face then and you idly thought about how he hadn't removed his hand.
“And you’re sure?” he asked after a moment. He didn't sound happy at the notion and you were slightly touched he cared.
“I mean… I don’t know. It started my second day here. You know you can just… sense when someone’s watching you? And it's been every night when I go home. And then last night, there was a guy all in black. I wasn’t sure he was following me at first but once I got inside my building, he just… stood there watching me,” you swallowed thickly, getting a chill down your spine just remembering how weird it had been. Billy was quiet for a moment before he squeezed your hand and stood up. He walked over to a cupboard across his office, rooting around in there before he came back over to you with something in his hand. It was pepper spray. You took it gratefully, feeling at least like you had something to protect yourself with.
“Use it if you feel threatened. Even if some poor innocent bastard gets sprayed. If they're close enough to make you scared they deserve it anyway,” he mused as he sat back in his chair.
“Thank you,” you breathed with a smile.
“Look, I know you don’t live too far but I think maybe walkin’ isn’t too safe out there at night,” he frowned thoughtfully. You looked from the pepper spray in your hands to him, tilting your head a little.
“I’m thinking of taking cabs from now on, just to be safe,” you admitted.
“Good. You ever taken self-defense classes?” he asked seriously. You felt small under his gaze and you knew your answer wouldn't please him given his line of work.
“No,” you gave him a sheepish smile as he rolled his eyes goodnaturedly at you.
“Frank’s been teachin’ Karen in the private training room in the back. Does it most days after work. You up for it?” he asked expectantly.
“Yeah, that sounds good,” you smiled. You’d always wanted to learn but you’d always been so busy that it would slip your mind. But given how you were feeling lately, you knew it would make you feel even safer. He shot you a grin with a pleased nod.
“Alright, tomorrow after work. Bring something comfortable to change into,” he instructed.
“Thank you, Mr- … uh Billy. I really appreciate all this,” you said softly, a grateful smile on your face as you stood. You figured you’d taken up enough of his time as it was. You knew just how busy he was. He stood too, walking you to the door.
“Anytime. You know you can come to me about anything. No matter how small you think it might be. What kinda boss would I be if I let somethin’ bad happen to my favorite PA?” he asked with a mischievous smile. You snorted, feeling your cheeks burn at his praise. You felt like a cat getting a head rub and you almost smacked yourself for your own reaction.
“I’ve only been here for a week,” you replied amused. He gave you a cheeky grin and shrugged.
“And you’re still my favorite PA,” he countered. You left his office feeling a little better about the whole thing. You’d take cabs and you now had pepper spray if you needed it. And soon, Frank would have you trained up so you’d be able to defend yourself.
—---
You made your way to the training room in the back slowly. You were in a tank top and some leggings with some sneakers on. Your work clothes now in the bag you were holding. You’d changed in the bathroom. The night before, you’d taken a cab home. But as you were going inside of your apartment, you’d felt that feeling again. This time you couldn't see anyone, but you’d hurried inside anyway. You’d barely seen Billy that day. He’d been swamped with meetings but when you had briefly seen him as you gave him his lunch, he’d asked you if you were still up for training and of course you told him yes. You felt a little strange though in crashing the couples time training together, like you were intruding almost. But you knew Frank was head trainer here so he’d be good. You also hoped Billy had mentioned you’d be dropping in. But as you walked into the training room, it wasn't just the couple there. Billy was there too. For some reason, that thought hadn't even crossed your mind but it did make you feel a little better. Karen was standing off to one side as Billy and Frank wrestled with each other. It looked like they didn’t even notice you come in. You wandered over to Karen, plonking your bag down on the floor.
“Boys, am I right?” she asked with a wry smirk, making you snort as you watched them. They were scrambling on the floor looking like a pair of kids play fighting and it amused you. Billy ended up behind Frank, getting him in a chokehold.
“How’dya like that?” He asked gleefully, making Frank huff and throw his elbow back. It connected with Billy’s side and he let him go with a grunt.
“Afraid I’m gonna make you look bad in front of your girl, Bill?” Frank asked teasingly. It was at that moment that Billy’s eyes shot up and connected with yours. And the same moment Frank decided to pounce on him and tackle him to the floor, pinning him down. You tried to ignore the weird feeling in the pit of your stomach at Frank’s words. They were just talking shit to each other.
“You’re an asshole, Frankie,” Billy wheezed, looking disgruntled yet amused. Frank grinned, tapping him on the cheek before standing up and offering Billy his hand. He took it, letting Frank pull him up before they hugged it out in a manly way. You smirked to yourself. Karen made a beeline to Frank as Billy waltzed over to you, swiping a bottle of water from a bench near where you stood.
“Having fun?” you asked knowingly. He’d told you before how he loved sparring with Frank. He wasn't afraid to really lay into him and give him a good challenge like his recruits were.
“What d’you think?” he answered cheekily. He looked like he was glowing. A radiant smile on his face. That one that made his eyes crinkle. It made you smile at him. Your eyes drifted to Frank and Karen then. They were adorable together. Frank could seem mean on the outside, an intimidating aura about him. But with Karen, he was all soft and squishy and you loved it.
“You’re gonna be with me. You ready?” Billy asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.
“I hope so,” you murmured wryly, making him shoot you a smirk.
The training went really well. Frank and Karen were doing their own training as Billy focused on you. You’d felt self-conscious at first, never having done anything like this before. But Billy was a really good teacher and would praise you every time you did something good. He never made you feel stupid for getting things mixed up or wrong. He’d gently correct you and make sure to compliment your technique on something. You appreciated it. He’d taught you how to disarm someone and various self-defense moves. And then he had you spar with him a little bit to practice the moves out on a moving target. After almost two hours, you were tired. He went to grab you and you stumbled backwards, grabbing his wrist as you started to fall, bringing him with you. You weren't sure just how his reflexes were so fast because you didn't hit the floor. You landed on Billy instead who had somehow maneuvered you both to swap places. You were sprawled on top of him and blinked at him in shock for a moment.
“You two wanna get a room?” Frank called over mischievously, making Karen giggle a little. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire as you scrambled off Billy, waiting for him to look disgusted by the comment. Instead, he tilted his head to look at Frank from where he was lying with an amused smirk before giving him the finger. He had the grace of a cat as he hopped to his feet and he held his hand out to you to help you up. You gave him a sheepish smile before taking it and letting him pull you to your feet.
“I think I’m wiped out,” you murmured with a yawn. He grinned at you as you both walked over to your bottles of water.
“You did good today. Pushed yourself hard. We do this a couple of times a week, you won’t have anything to worry about,” he said softly. You shot him a grateful smile before taking a long pull of your drink.
“Want me to drive you home?” he asked, wiping his forehead with his t-shirt. You tried not to look at his abs. He looked good like this in basketball shorts and a tee. You’d never seen him look anything other than pristine.
“You don't have to,” you shook your head. It would be even later now with staying behind for training and you didn't want to walk home. But even though cabs were a safer option, you couldn't help but worry about the cab driver too. It wouldn't take much to lock the doors and drive off somewhere and murder you. Why did working here make you so paranoid?
“I know I don’t. I want to,” he countered, giving you a look that was a mix of amusement and determination.
“Only if you don’t mind,” you shrugged. He playfully rolled his eyes at your unwillingness to just say yes.
“I don’t,” he said firmly, signaling the end of it. You slipped your jacket on before you and Billy said your goodbyes to Frank and Karen and then you were in his car on your way home. His very fancy car.
“I bet this car cost the same as a year's worth of my rent,” you snorted, glancing at him as he drove. You really didn't live far so you knew it would be a short drive. He smirked to himself for a moment before his face softened into a more earnest look.
“It’s alright, I guess,” he murmured. You blinked at him for a moment and he didn't take his eyes off the road.
“You don't like it?” you questioned. He had the money to buy something else if he wanted. You weren't sure why he was still driving it if he didn't like it.
“I do, it’s just… I used to think I wanted money more than anything. Money is power, right?” he asked, glancing at you briefly before back at the road. “But the past few years… I’ve been thinkin’ about how it ain’t everything. There’s more to life than money. Than power. It’s not what makes you happy,” he mused softly. You weren't really sure what to say to that if you were honest.
“Didn’t realize you were so philosophical,” you grinned teasingly, making him snort and shoot you a look.
“Maybe I’m just finally growin’ up,” he shrugged. With that, he pulled to a stop outside of your apartment.
“Thank you. For the training and the ride… just everything,” you murmured, glancing to him. He looked at you properly then with a soft smile.
“You don’t gotta thank me,” he shook his head.
“Well I did, so deal with it,” you smirked. He let out a surprised laugh at you and it made you smile to yourself. You preferred the carefree happy Billy to the overworked stressed one. He watched you for a long moment and it made you feel all funny as you just blinked at him.
“I’m really glad you took that job,” he admitted, a small smile playing on his lips. You bit your lower lip with a shy smile as you nodded.
“I’m glad too,” you replied. You felt a little weird now. You knew you needed to get out of the car and go home, but this was such a strangely soft moment between the pair of you and you felt weird breaking it. But then you reminded yourself that he was your boss and that you were reading far too much into everything. It was easy getting sucked in by him and his charm but all he saw was his PA that maybe he was becoming friends with.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said with a smile, opening the car door.
“See you tomorrow,” he replied quietly, watching as you got out. As you went inside, you gave yourself a good telling-off. You were acting like a schoolgirl with a crush and it needed to stop before it got you fired. Whether that was from Billy finding out and being grossed out or by ending up in bed with him. Because you knew his track record and how that always went.
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Preview: Looking for Attention (l.jn)
I’M BACK! What it do cookie boos ★~(◡﹏◕✿)
ATTENTION: FULL LENGTH FIC IS NOW LIVE! CLICK LINK TO READ IT BELOW :)
(If that dont work lol im sorry but its the latest post on my blog lmao)
looking for attention (l.jn)
After a couple months of hiatus, I finally found the inspiration to finish all these drafts of fics I have in my WIP folder... sorry for the wait, I want quality out here.
Here’s a delulu scene that I have had rotting in my brain the past couple of months starring no other than the man of the hour: Lee Jeno. I started fully flesh out writing this fic at around 11:45pm and its currently 6:25am and I’m still not done with it LOL shooting for 10k words with this to make it worth while to read! Enjoy this teaser/preview, after my beta readers do a read through and make edits, I’ll post the full length fic hopefully tomorrow! <3
Pairing: Jeno ft the ‘00 line dreamies x fem! reader insert
Tags: gamer idol au, secret girlfriend reader, slice of life, needy reader, jeno is a nerdy hard head, substantial amount of plot leading up to the nasty, possessive jeno, lowkey the ‘00 line wants you so bad, jeno knows everyone wants you so bad, y’all can look but not touch vibes, camera voyeurism
Warnings: teasing, voyeurism, exhibitionism, oral fem reader and male receiving, masturbation, unprotected sex (wrap it up ya’ll!), mentions of potential five way, multiple partners (not directly), possessive domination, degradation, reader is a simpy subby sub sub, dumbification/bimbo kink, mentions of referring to reader as ‘pet’/’kitten’, (probably more knowing me... I’ve been brewing on this one for a WHILE)
Word Count: final product: ~10k, teaser: 640
** I haven’t proof read this yet, and this may not make the final cut, please be aware of that !
Summary: Between Jeno being an idol and you being a current nursing school student, it’s hard to find time to be there for each other and actually feel like you two are dating. So when Jeno makes time to spend a whole day with you but actually spends the whole time playing with the boys online instead of helping you study for your exam, you decide it’s time to play some games of your own.
“Are you kidding me? Hyuck open your fucking eyes!” Jeno screamed at his screen while throwing his hands in the air, “I’m tired of us not moving on because of you!”
It’s been three hours since you have arrived at Jeno’s apartment. You’ve been insisting on spending more quality time with him and he finally promised to put more effort in by agreeing to spend the day with you.
—
Maybe you should have seen it coming when Jeno insisted on you bringing your study materials for your upcoming exam, mentioning that he will help you study. When he opened the door you were expected to be bombarded with warm hugs and maybe even some cuddles and suggestions to bake cookies. Would it be so presumptuous to even be looking forward to being savagely ravished in some long awaited sexy time? The thought of having uninterrupted alone time with Jeno bounced around your mind as you anticipatingly waited for him to answer the door.
However much to your chagrin, you were begrudgingly and briefly greeted with a breathy irritated Jeno that barely made eye contact before running back to the room shouting,
“I swear I’m here! I’m here! Just had to open the door for y/n! I’m back! I’m back!” leaving you confused and rooted to the welcome mat of his front door.
Sighing, you slowly removed your shoes and made your way to his kitchen to grab some water and place your stuff on his table. Making your way to Jeno’s room, the volume of his excited shouting elevated and as you rounded the corner you saw him slouched over staring at the screen with intent eyes and hands frantically moving.
“Hey babe,” you knock while leaning against his desk, his eyes not meeting yours once again.
“Just go towards the back Jaem that way they won’t see you,” he called out adjusting his mic.
“Babe,” you raised your voice.
“No Hyuck, stay there, we need you later,” he replied while checking his second monitor briefly then shooting you a quick smile before clicking repeatedly, “hey babe sorry I’ll be done with this game soon, one sec.”
“Will you really be done soon? It’s fine if it won't just let me know so I’m not just waiting around.”
“Yeah, yeah swear,” he nodded while playing.
You made your way back to the table in the living room and placed all your textbooks down and opened up your laptop to finish a lecture that you needed to finish taking notes on.
Fifteen minutes passed and your feet were tucked under your body in the seat and highlighters were scattered around. As you cracked your knuckles closing the lecture video tab, Jeno walked out of his room shirtless, sporting a pair of gray sweatpants and his gaming headset on, making his way to the fridge. Jeno was a dream. Only he could look so insanely attractive while having the personality of the biggest nerd you’ve ever met.
“Let’s fucking go!” he hollered while rummaging through the shelves to find a carton of banana milk and drinking it, “can’t believe we made it out of there, Hyuck fucking sucks at stealth missions, so it must have been a miracle for them to not see him,” he laughs while heading towards you. Jeno flicked his hair to the side and tucked a hand into his pocket making his arms slightly flex, effortlessly gorgeous as always.
Straightening your back you leaned forward awaiting him to finally sit with you, lips sitting prettily puckered awaiting your overdue kiss. Excitement erupts and you can barely sit still as you think how you will escalate this further today. A long list of positions and roleplay fill your head excitingly. However Jeno wasn’t nearly on the same page as he walked straight past and into the pantry to take out a bag of chips and jog back into the room. Disappointment -and a bit of sexual frustration- sets in as you hear a faint, “hell yeah I’m down for another round lemme log back in really quick!”
You have got to be kidding me.
#nct smut#nct fanfiction#nct fanfic#nct jeno#nct jeno smut#jeno hard hours#jeno smut#jeno drabbles#jeno x y/n#jenosmut
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get to know better tag
thank you @achilleslikespeas!! you're so so amazing omg- anyhoo
three ships: wolfstar, ineffable husbands (someone pls talk to me about good omens I literally can NOT rn), drarry
first ship: drarry, it’s a tried and true ship for me, ive been shipping it since I was like, a child (literally flashback to me at like, 7 years old telling my mom that harry and Draco should get over each other and buy a castle and live together forever as a happy couple (parents were not happy that their daughter was saying this (they were homophobic( (im now gay and still shipping it so suck it, ig)))
last song: I would love to lie and say its something cool like “killer queen” or “lady stardust” bc I listen to those a lot, but once again, I would be lying and my actual last song that I listened to was “no hands (ft. Roscoe dash and wale)”, yk, the frat party song, I like to play it while writing angst
last movie: Harry Potter? idk what one, I like to put the tv on while I do stuff like budget money and write fanfic and draw, so honestly idk, it was probably the chamber of secrets, that and poa are my all time favs
currently reading: ur mom LMAO (im so sorry) no, what im reading is smut, and also like, a good omens fic about Crowley’s fall (witness the fall) bc im trying to forget about season 2′s ending. im also reading away childish things (again) bc like, that's one of my fav drarry fics of all time. if we’re talking about marauders fics, it was probably her body is a temple down in the frozen food aisle by achilleslikespeas, both for my emotional masochistic enjoyment and bc I wanted to draw a scene in the story (go read it now pls, its really good, Claude is really good a writing and im freaking out bc I wanna draw a scene from every single one of their fics I- like go-to horror dead dove fics for me I reccomend Claude and for smut I go to moonie), if we’re talking books books, Ive been reading yellowface and I am a cat which so far, are really really good, but also like, im really bad at reading so like, I haven't actually touched them in a week LMAO
currently watching: good omens, its playing on my tv in the background both because I love it and also because Neil said if u stream it enough amazon will see how valuable it is (with the strike and everything) and like, actually be willing to negotiate, essentially, help out the strike, go watch gay celestial beings
last thing i wrote: 'Til Death Do Us Part, and Even Then, I'll Do My Best to Stay With You, its a dead dove fic centering around grief and denial, uh, 2 chapters in lol
currently writing: I have like, a million wips and no motivation to write rn so lets dive into them lol
1) chapter 3 of do death do us part, very sad, like, maybe 3 sentences in?
2) the next part of my lesbian wolf star series, its the one right before the trail one, so like, part 10 is gonna be another chapter centering more around Sirius’s memories and part 11 is gonna be the trial, I have like, 2 separate things ive written for it and I need to decide where I want it to go tbh
3) smut, gay wolf star, frat hazing blow or blow smut. sirius is on his knees and almost throws up but he doesn't and its lowkey like actually non con but its also frat hazing, like, idk how to explain the vibes but sirius is referred to as a dog and a filthy animal and degraded and he's sucking remus’s dick on coke and im like 2k words in and like, running out of ways to describe a cock lol (its also hard to bc like, I don't have a dick and my textbooks are no help sometimes) but he is also called the “pike puppy” and like, I think im smart for that and also its really filthy ngl, not a happy ending?
4) a short fluff fic to make up for the angst I put my readers through, im like 200 words in
5) au kinda thing, inspired by don't worry darling and like a TikTok that I saw (and now people are commenting on me commenting if I can write the idea and asking for the fic name and like, Im 500 words in? pls I need time), the idea is that Dumbledore has everyone under imperio or a potion to get them on his side to fight for him, lily’s pov, I really like it so far, uhh im like 500 words in I think?
so yeah, when I get inspiration im gonna write everything all at once lol, probably when my body isn't trying to kill me lmao or im at work
tagging: @spookymoonie @pinklume @wxlfstxrisbest @spindrifters @siriuslystargazing @siriusly-sapphic @green-lights-33
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Hey, do you have any recommendations for some angsty fics. I want to read copious amounts of angst, so much so that I can hear my bones breaking. Thankyou.
Oh my. Should I be worrying about you? lmao I don’t usually read strong angsty fics BUT I can try find some in your urgent care interest.
Too good to be true (153K) by tatu28
I haven’t read this one but saw @rainbenrry23 crying her eyes out through it. Me being the incredibly talented intuitive person I am took it as a good sign for angst fic. “you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you. the one where louis doesn't eat, harry doesn't function and all they need is each other. or: one lonely boy trying to heal another is love.”
Fading (202K) by tothemoonmydear
Probably one of the most angsty I’ve ever read. Louis knows about beauty; the combination of qualities that pleases the aesthetic senses. He creates that combination every day in the garments he designs while studying fashion at uni. The cut of the design, the color of the fabric, the intricacy of the stitching; it all comes together to create something beautiful. When the science student with the long legs and dimpled smile agrees to model for him, Louis decides he’s found beauty personified. Harry just thinks Louis needs someone to show him how beautiful he is. (Read tags)
Call answered (249K) by beechersnope
Mind you. This is tagged as heavy angst. The day after his 27th birthday, Harry Styles attempts suicide. Louis is flown to his bedside to unravel the mystery of why he did it after a flash drive is found with a note attached, addressed to Louis. On it are a collection of 78 songs, all written for different dates from their past.
Time passed (66K) by coffinofachimera
“Louis struggles with their relationship as Harry grows into his identity.” I will also add my comment after reading it to spike your curiosity: I have no words. Beautiful beautiful And the end????? Jfc. Im shaking (read the tags)
Dance to distortion (96K) by Lis (domesticharry)
“Louis accidentally breaks Harry's camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.” I don’t think this is the kind of angst you are looking for but it’s worth a try!
Consequences (78K) by allwaswell16
An Amnesia AU. Two years ago Harry let his powerful family come between him and the love of his life, something he deeply regrets. Louis has tried to move on from their devastating break up. Sometimes, he even thinks he has. It only takes one moment to freeze them back in time.
And down the long and silent street (86K) by whimsicule
The year is 1881 and if you’re alone in this world you might as well be dead, because starving dogs have no mercy. The one where Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder, but their paths still cross on the filthy streets Louis calls his home. The odds are staked against them from the beginning, and even more when Louis' past finally catches up with him.
Gods & monsters (201K) by Velvetoscar :
The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that's exactly what he did.
Flightless bird (97K) by audreyhheart
I learned this was a controversial one, but you asked for angst. You’ll have angst with this (and any other from this author). AU where Louis Tomlinson is a principal dancer with The Royal Ballet. When his rival from ballet school, moody dance prodigy Harry Styles joins the company, old wounds are reopened and old passions reignited. During the company's production of Swan Lake the secret that doomed their love is finally revealed, but will it be too late?
Victorian boy (101K) by audreyhheart
Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.
Own the scars (144K) by crinkle-eyed-boo ( @crinkle-eyed-boo )
Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first. (Read tags)
Cocaine for breakfast (309K) by guccikings
I’m not sure I finished this one cause I remember I was so mad lmao but I think the trope gets angsty too so “Louis Tomlinson is a drug addict, sent away from his beloved party-scene to recover. There, he discovers that small towns have just as much access to drugs as London did, plus something even better that he just can't get enough of. That something is a boy with green eyes and bouncy curls named Harry Styles.”
Time bomb (291K) by ThisSentimentalHeart
Another one I haven’t finished, but I remember it was angsty enough. The one where Louis has everything: a lead role in a giant Hollywood franchise, a glittering new house with an entertaining Irish neighbor, and a steady, normal boyfriend who he probably loves. Louis never expected to become a household name among young Hollywood overnight. He also never expected to find something endearing about the enigmatic rockstar who keeps showing up on his back porch.
Got the sunshine on my shoulders (124K) by hattalove
You’ll already know this one! The way I hate this Harry aaaaargh 5 years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn't have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone. now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he's rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he's forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who's spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him (or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama).
If you are into ABO (if not, you’re missing out!) here’s aa few angsty ones for you:
Seeing blind (46K) by zedi
the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.
Pretty please (with sugar on top) by angelichl (113K)
Harry is a sugar baby omega who cons rich alphas for a living. Louis is a rich alpha with too much self-control.
Also I remember one if the most angsty fics I’ve ever read is take me to church, but it’s not on ao3 anymore but you can support the author with their works on their website (wickedarcher).
Another one, but it’s controversial and fucking nuts if you ask me, is A darker shade of love. It’s long like very very very long (over 700K), but the plot twists and angst never end. It’s very triggering tho, so please read tags. You can find it on ao3 I think, I haven’t read it there!
You can find my other fic recs here: my bookmarks - canon compliant - fics as movies - favourites.
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hi !! i’m not the original anon but in the tags of your recent post you explained reddit & discord have v different rp cultures, would you mind explaining ? i’ve been considering switching over and wanted to know what i was getting into LMAO ! only if you have time ofc , thank u !!
so i am definitely not the ultimate authority on this by any means, because i haven’t rped in any non-tumblr-adjacent spaces myself in quite some time, but i can make a few comments based on my observations as an outsider and also some conversations with a friend of mine who does rp in those spaces! in short i think outside tumblr, groups tend to be a lot more… open? like there are a lot of little things that tumblr rpers tend to put a lot of emphasis and weight on that just aren’t a big deal to people on other sites, which absolutely comes with both pros and cons. the main thing that comes to mind as an example of this is with faceclaims, a lot of off-tumblr groups don’t really do banned fcs or might not be as strict with respecting fcs’ identities, so if that’s something that’s important to you, definitely keep it in mind going in. depending on the group, a lot of people tend to also be a bit more open with the subject matter they are and aren’t willing to write. overall i think tumblr-adjacent rps just tend to have a lot of unspoken rules and things that we’ve kind of all gotten used to by being in this space that just aren’t present in other rpcs. not sure if that made any sense, but i think the most important thing if you do decide to try branching out is to go into things with an open mind! you should of course do your due diligence vetting any group you’re considering joining to make sure it’ll be a good fit for you, and don’t be afraid to leave if it isn’t, but i think just going into the server being willing to learn through observation and maybe unlearn some of the stricter conventions that are basically ubiquitous in tumblr-ish rp spaces will be a big first step.
another thing i’ve noticed especially with groups that advertise on disboard is that they can get REALLY big! of course that depends on a whole lot of factors, but if you’re like me and get overwhelmed by big groups it’s another thing to look out for when you’re vetting a group!
again want to reiterate that i’m not speaking from firsthand experience so take this all with a grain of salt, and remember that no matter what site it’s on every group really will have its own unique culture and quirks. best of luck if you do decide to take that leap, and we’d love to hear how it goes <3
also just want to make a quick little note about what i mean by tumblr-adjacent rps: basically rps that advertise on tumblr regardless of what site the actual rping takes place on (so includes discord, twt, and jcink rps) and/or are made by people who originated from tumblr rp and still mostly run in those circles. since findrps was started on tumblr by tumblr rpers and still very much follows tumblr rp culture despite their growth, you’ll find almost all of the groups that advertise there will fall into this category, even if they might not necessarily have a tumblr main or anything.
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“about the blogger” meme
thanks for the tag @currymanganese @cruciomione and @ashluvsu4ever (some tagged sydneys-adamu but that’s still me!! lol) this is late as hell but y’all are real cool! 🩷
star sign: scorpio! as far as all that other stuff like rising and moon and sun I’m not sure.
favorite holiday: I don’t have one but I’d have to say christmas for the food
last meal: chicken soup bc winter slapped me in the face now I’m sick
current favorite musician: don’t have one! I kinda hate music
last music listened to: “I know the end” by phoebe bridgers. doesn’t help my I hate music stance but that song is great so what I will do is put that song and just that song on repeat for months and not even touch anything else. I’ve also been listening to the parade revival bcr for months now.
last movie watched: blue beetle I think? and that was kind of a while ago. but great film! a lot better than I was expecting.
last tv show watched: besides just putting stuff on for noise im gonna say jury duty. an incredible watch you should consider if you haven’t already.
last book/fic finished: it was sydcarmy but I can’t remember the title. but it’s about their first fight in the cross over between whatevership and relationship and carmen gets sick and I’m also sick so!!
last book/fic abandoned: I mean I don’t read books, so that’s abandonment all on its own and if I abandon fics im not gonna publicize that lol.
currently reading: … not a book. and honestly idk basically besides re reading I’m currently reading most sydcarmy wips. I haven’t read for a different fandom since june lmao.
last thing researched for art/writing/hyper-fixation: I think “how to make a crochet coaster” I’m thinking about starting to sell and of course idk how to go about it but I figure actually making shit is a good start? who knows.
favorite online fandom memory: this isn’t a “fandom” per se (say? idk) but back in 2020-2021 I used to spend a lot of time on twitch and I got really attached to this one guy and his community. anyways I called a pop tart and a toaster strudel the same thing and got positively annihilated by the chat. twas very funny.
favorite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: hmmm idk. for the sake of not having the same answer twice I’d say maybe cobra kai. I really miss loving that show and the ship I was attached to had meta that reminds me of sydcarmy. when the engagement was high it was really fun and if people suddenly decided to start caring again I’d go right back.
favorite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big “fandom” but you wish it did: american vandal!!! it’s less that I want it to have a big fandom because really who wants that and more I just wanted to know the show was appreciated, which it wasn’t :(
tempting project you’re trying to reign in/don’t have time for: I was almost roped into embroidery and punch needling and then I had to actually consider the fact that there’s no way I could commit to that. maybe one day tho.
if u see this pretend I tagged you and do it! :)
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Get to Know the Fanfic Writer
Tagged by @bioticbooty (thank you!!)
When did you post your first ever fanfic?
July 2011 (jesus christ, lol)
First Character(s) you wrote?
My self insert 🤣 but in terms of a fictional character, it'd be Commander Shepard from Mass Effect!
Main Character(s) you’re currently writing?
Honestly, I'm sort of a variety writer, so I write for a pretty wide variety of characters? But my current longfic focuses on Shiho Hinomori and Harukua Kiritani from Project Sekai!
Character(s) you haven’t written about before but plan to write about soon?
That's a tough one. I feel like I've written for most of the characters I care about right now. Actually, I've never written Toya Aoyagi, but I do have something in mind for him (and the rest of Vivid Bad Squad) that I'd like to write soon.
Fandom(s) you’re currently writing?
Project Sekai and Love Live
Platonic pairing(s) you’re currently writing?
Platonic Poly/need. I love their friendship so much 🥺
Shiho & Shizuku Hinomori. Their sibling relationship means so much to me.
Romantic pairing(s) you’re currently writing?
Project Sekai: Shiho/Haruka,
Love Live: Setsuna/Ayumu
Your top AO3 tags?
Fluff
Established Relationship
Pre-relationship
(Can you tell what I enjoy writing? lmao)
Current platform you use for posting?
AO3, TheRev28
Snippet of the WIP you are currently working on?
I don't have any full prose WIPs at the moment, but here's a dialogue snippet from an upcoming Shiho/Haruka chapter!
Shiho: “Onee-chan, why are you putting on makeup to go to practice?”
Shizuku: “Oh! Shii-chan! I didn’t hear you come in. Do you need the bathroom?”
Shiho: “No, I was just about to head out.” [thinks about it and decides to push] “And you didn’t answer my question.”
Shizuku: “Ah… well, today we’ll be livestreaming our practice for the first time.”
Shiho: “Haruka mentioned you were doing something like that soon. But that still doesn’t explain the makeup. Isn’t it just gonna run and get all messy?”
Shizuku: “This is stage makeup! It’s designed to stay in place even with lots of physical activity! We always wear it for shows so we can look our best for the fans.”
Shiho: “But this is just a practice session.”
Shizuku: “But our fans will be watching.”
Shiho: “So? If they’re watching you practice, they should know you’re gonna get all sweaty and gross.”
Shizuku: “But… my fans have never seen me like that.”
Shiho: “I thought the whole point of starting over with MMJ was to free yourself of those expectations.” [sees that hit a nerve. Feels bad about it and tries to end the conversation] “Whatever, I’ve also got practice to get to, so I’ll see you at dinner.” [hurries off]
Tagging @infiwrites @ryqoshay and anyone else who wants to do this!
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OKAY it’s been over half a damn year since I last updated Losing Marbles and I STILL haven’t quite finished chapter 6, so thought I could give y’all a sneak peak XD
First off, here’s ch1-5 on AO3 (if you haven’t seen it, at least check the tags before reading this. But it is a continuous story so I suggest starting from the first chapter :P)
And ofc thank @froggythesculptor for like half of the ideas in this cuz she’s a genius HGVJFTVHYBJY
ANYWAYS!!! Enjoy the first 747 words of chapter 6 lol (btw it’s definitely a long [+ relatively heavy] one for me so far… this isn’t even half of the WIP lmao)
— — —
Not long after returning to the castle, Darcy sat in her chambers, rolling a purple twenty-sided die between her fingers as she impatiently watched the loading screen. Should be almost there, she thought just before the words “download complete” appeared on the monitor.
Tossing her D20 aside, she stood up and went over to the coral chair where a new helmet was plugged in. She ripped off the wires, picked it up, then seated herself, avoiding the armrests. After taking a breath and steeling herself, she hesitantly placed the helmet over her head.
Darcy grunted, fiery pain seizing her every nerve as The Core made itself comfortable in her body once more. She wanted to scream but bit the inside of her cheek to stop any pathetic noises from coming out. At least it wasn’t as bad as the first time.
When the agony finally subsided, she slowly opened her ten artificial eyes then heard, “Ah, well done.”
Darcy leaned back and, though they were still somewhat dazed, smiled at the praise. The Core must have already gone through their memories to see how it went.
“Looks like we’re behind schedule, though. We were supposed to be meeting with Andrias in the throne room half an hour ago,” it told them.
“Oh, shoot!” Darcy hissed as they sprang from the chair and dashed up the stairs.
Being late to their own meeting will not be good for their meticulous and calculated villain reputation.
Despite their anxiety, they slowed down once they made it to the main hallway. Running through the castle as a troubled mess would only make problems worse, so they walked with slow but powerful steps.
As she went, Darcy passed frobots putting up mass amounts of entangled cables along the walls and collared newts installing eye-shaped surveillance devices all over the castle. She noticed it earlier, but the rate at which it was getting done seemed to have multiplied as the day of the invasion grew closer.
Wow, you guys must’ve been busy, huh? she thought to The Core. What’s all this for?
“These renovations are to aid us in the invasion,” it stated. “The new additions will allow us to be omnipresent in mechanical tendrils across the castle, even when disconnected from you.”
Her lips pulled up into a wicked smirk. So, basically, you’ll, she mused delightedly, have an eye on everything?
A large, exasperated sigh echoed from most of The Core, but one of the voices let out a muffled howl of laughter, instead. Darcy grinned ear to ear, immediately deciding that the newt who appreciated her pun was objectively the best of the collection.
As she approached the throne room, she straightened her face before a couple robots on either side of the entrance swung the doors open for her. She strode in and Andrias swiftly lifted his head to see who had entered, tensing once he saw it was Darcy. Olivia and Yunan noticed his reaction then spun around and let out twin gasps of surprise.
Wait a second, Darcy thought as she stopped walking about halfway between the doors and the newts. Olivia’s and Yunan’s eyes were normal.
Tearing her gaze from the lady and the general, she stared at Andrias with narrowed eyes and asked, “What happened to their collars?” Though, it sounded more like an accusation than a question.
The giant newt seemed to prepare himself before stepping in front of Olivia and Yunan. He then said, “If I may, could you remove the helmet? I wish to speak to you directly.”
She scoffed and crossed her arms, already fed up with the conversation. “You will address all of The Core when speaking to me. Now, what are you up to? And where’s your little tiara? You know very well that we can’t monitor your thoughts without it.”
“Marcy-“
“Darcy,” she growled. Andrias knew that. He was trying to appeal to her old self, wasn’t he?
Andrias furrowed his brows but his eyes still held a little too much warmth. “Marcy, this isn’t you. I know how… persuasive The Core can be… but I also know you don’t want to hurt people.”
Darcy grit their teeth while listening, but stopped by the time he was done. Then they suddenly threw their head back in a fit of laughter. They soon finished with a sigh and went, “Oh, is that what you think, big guy? That I’m still the innocent little girl I was a year ago?”
👀 TO BE CONTINUED 👀
(in a hopefully reasonable amount of time… Idk my motivation is way too unpredictable for me to give any sort of guess hhhh)
#Losing Marbles#fic update#Amphibia#amphibia fanfic#Darcy Wu#Darcy Amphibia#The Core#Marcy Wu#Evil Marcy#unhinged marcy au
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Get to Know Me Better
Hi, friends. I was tagged by @hippolotamus
First, some general stuff about me:
I hated Schitt’s Creek when I watched the first episode years ago when it first came to Netflix. I don’t do well with unexpected screaming and didn’t like the characters much. I decided to give it another chance sometime early last year and was hooked, though I didn’t descend into the full obsession until about September of last year.
I started writing SC fic last October (you can find it all here) and it was the first time I’d written fic in 15 years!
IRL, I’m an epidemiologist
Otters are my favorite animal and have been since I was 8! My dream job as a third grader was running a seal and otter rescue.
My inbox is always open! Feel free to send me messages or prompts or whatever. I know I’m slow to get to them sometime (I know there are still quite a few in my inbox that I haven’t gotten to!) but I will get to them eventually! And I love new friends!
On to the meme! I should have probably added to the above statements that when I get asked for my favorite thing, I immediately forget everything I’ve ever liked, so take these answers with a grain of salt.
Favorite time of year: Fall! I used to hate fall because it made me sad, but I love it now. Give me all the sweaters and warm beverages and apples and spooky things!
Comfort food: Mac and cheese, pizza, or anything chocolate
Do you collect something?: Mugs, much to my partner’s chagrin. We definitely have more mugs than we have space for but I just love them so much.
Favorite drink: London fog latte, and just so many kinds of tea. If it’s coffee, it needs to be like melted ice cream. Alcoholic drinks (including wine) should taste like juice.
Favorite song: Oh god. I’ll just give you the three I’ve listened to a lot this week. Fluorescent Light by Stars, Hallelujah (Jeff Buckley version), and Tidal Wave by the Mountain Goats.
Favorite Fic: Okay, no, how can I pick one fic? That’s impossible. I can’t even direct you to my bookmarks list because I am so bad at bookmarking fics. Something I read recently and really enjoyed was back to the drawing board by mycleverusername. I know that’s not an answer, but it’s still a good fic. I could also give a list of fics I haven’t stopped thinking about since I read them? Idk, does anyone want that list lmao
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I posted 24,119 times in 2022
That's 21,589 more posts than 2021!
8 posts created (0%)
24,111 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@bobo-the-part-time-clown
@elytrians
@edelgard-enjoyer
@fardf150
@ziseviolet
I tagged 2,185 of my posts in 2022
#goncharov - 549 posts
#unreality - 324 posts
#aesthetic - 250 posts
#save - 243 posts
#overgrown aesthetic - 43 posts
#dracula - 41 posts
#dracula daily - 38 posts
#<- prev tags - 18 posts
#this is beautiful - 16 posts
#me - 15 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#i could have gotten ‘total loser of a guy who will never amount to anything’ as a result and it would have been less devastating then this
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
changed my theme >:)
0 notes - Posted May 10, 2022
#4
I think u may be stuck on the dashboard of 4 days ago but u should know that martin scorsese himself reacted to goncharov 😳
Yes I do know!!!! It’s amazing this is peak goncharov
The reason Im reblogging posts from 4 days ago is cuz I hit the post limit in like 4 hours on the first day of goncharov and then I filled up my queue with at least 400 goncharov posts. In addition to the normal posts. So now I have 500 posts in my queue. I regret nothing.
2 notes - Posted November 26, 2022
#3
omg that’s adorable I love it
how has your day been btw?
2 notes - Posted October 26, 2022
#2
hey feel free to answer this privately or just . ignore it + I'm not sure how to phrase this well but ... are u Asian ? (LMAO) I don't see a lot of queer Asian ppl in my specific tumblr circle so I'm always happy and surprised when I see other asian ppl on here . sorry if this is a weird question ✋🥲
Yeah I'm Chinese!!! Dw, I'm cool with this kinda question, you know since it's in good faith and all. And I get it cuz it's always awesome to see other queer Asians :D
2 notes - Posted September 11, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Hello, I'm once again asking you about your OCs because I'm curious! I hope that's okay?
Who are Iphi and Jack? I love the first one's name. And if I remember right Jack is aro? That's neat, I haven't really seen a lot of aro characters before! /pos
Thank you for the ask!!! Sorry this is pretty late btw, I haven’t had time to answer it lol
(That’s Iphi on the left, Jack on the right. First is a picrew, second isn’t my art but like. I haven’t drawn Jack yet so that’s kinda their ref for now)
But it is rant time!! Imma start with Iphi! Because I kinda need to explain her to give context for Jack’s lore.
So Iphi is the god of sacrifice in this little fantasy world I made, Kunyang! She’s a pretty old god, a couple of thousand years old, but she’s still the second youngest one lol.
In Kunyang, gods are born when they sprout from the seeds of the god tree. The god tree is in the divine realm, which is a different realm entirely from the physical realm, but very rarely, a god seed can arrive in the physical realm.
Anyways, this seed fell into the hands of a very magically powerful person. They had magic potential that could honestly rival a god- and yeah, they believed they were destined for great things because of it. So, they were determined to be the person who caused the god seed to sprout.
So in Kunyang, there was once this library called the Archives, run by the god of knowledge himself, Ephius. This person went to Ephius, and they were told that the seed was for the god of sacrifice. Ephius told the person that to sprout a god seed, they’d need sacrifices from thousands of people. This person wanted to do it, all by themself.
And so, they sacrificed everything. Family, friends, fortune, and fame. All gone, in the hopes of making a legacy. The seed did not sprout, because it wasn’t enough. So this person decided that they would need to make a very big sacrifice, one big enough to make the seed sprout.
They decided to banish the Archives from the physical realm into the divine realm, sacrificing humanity’s access to the library of all knowledge. And that was indeed a big enough sacrifice to give birth to a new god!
And that’s how Iphi was created. But the thing is- that’s really not how you’re supposed to create a god. So she was kind of corrupted from birth. This corruption prevented her from having a lot of character traits that one might consider important to being human.
Iphi does not feel happiness, or satisfaction. No sorrow or regret. Nothing of that sort. But she is working towards a goal: and that is creating a legacy. Having an effect on the world. (Her only contributor to her creation imprinted heavily on her.)
And because of that, she is very active in all manners of sacrifice. Every day, she’s constantly getting people to make sacrifices to her, amassing followers in many different lands. This also increases her powers heavily.
The way her powers work, they’re kinda like payment based. She gets someone to sacrifice something for her, and she can create something else of equal value to that something. (The more important that something was to the person who sacrificed it, the more she can create and do.) Like, she could make a giant wall of fire, or acid rain, or bury a country in gold if she had enough magic. Which she absolutely does. But she mostly saves the magic potential she receives for later.
And also, Iphi doesn’t truly care about anything other than making a mark on the world. She doesn’t mind if people die or suffer because her sacrifices took something too important- if anything, she wants to do that, because it’s quite a way of making your mark on the world.
Oh, and I gotta add- she can’t do this all without a little help! And that’s where Jack comes in.
They’re also a couple thousand years old, but quite younger than Iphi. So they used to be a court jester. Mortal and everything. They should have had a life of a normal length, be just another person in the world, but then they fell in love with Iphi.
And yeah they’re aromantic! It’s not romantic love, it’s alterous love. But yeah they felt a deep emotional attraction, and they wanted to be in a relationship (not a romantic or platonic one though). Anyways, Iphi doesn’t feel the same way. She doesn’t love Jack. But she thought it was convenient to have someone in love with her, and to keep them around, so she offered Jack a sacrifice.
She’d give them eternity, and they would be her servant.
Jack honestly didn’t want to do that at first, but then they had a near-death experience, and agreed to her terms.
So Iphi took their physical body, and also their independence.
Because it would be inconvenient if her servant got bored or wanted to take back the sacrifice. So Jack quite literally cannot think unless she wills it. They’re barely conscious until Iphi needs them, and only then can they think again.
Jack isn’t even aware this happens. To them, it feels like they just woke up, or they just simply forgot what happened during that time
Iphi also messed with Jack’s mind a bit, to amplify their devotion. And yeah, Jack is completely, utterly devoted to her. They would die for her, they’d be tortured for her, they would kill for her too. Nothing is off the table. They’d do anything she says. And they truly love her.
Jack mostly stays in the divine realm, usually, until Iphi sends them to the physical realm to do something for her. That something is usually extorting people to get more sacrifices. Jack pretty much curses people, and then offers to remove that curse in exchange for a sacrifice. (That’s how Janessa got cursed, actually [have I talked about her?] but Jack forgot they cursed her lmao.)
Anywayssss there is some more lore, but this is pretty fucking long already lmao so Imma just end this here. Unless you’d like to hear more!!
3 notes - Posted September 24, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#yeahhhhh my top post was 3 notes lol
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Find the Words!
Got this tag a while ago from @charlesjosephwrites, so thanks for the tag and apologies for the delay lmao I'm gonna pass it on with soft tags to @elijahrichardwrites, @witherednightmare, and @eccaiia, as well as leaving it an open tag for anyone else!
Your words will be bound, hack, twitch, and ahead. If you can't find one, leave a fun fact about your WIP, OCs, or writing process!
My words were dream, star, across, rest, and contain. These excerpts were taken from the second book in my fantasy series
Dream
“Come on, Mokie,” Old Tom said. He padded over to where Mokie was and gave him a gentle nudge with his shoulder. “You should be coming with us.”
With an excited chirp, he jumped to his paws. “I can?”
“Why would you not be allowed?” Old Tom blinked in bafflement.
“Because I left.”
“So have I. More than once,” he said with a purred laugh. When Mokie hesitated out of embarrassment, he added, “We also might need you to show us the way back here.”
“Right! You need me!” His whiskers twitched, and the two cats trotted after the humans.
“We need you, indeed.” Old Tom stifled an amused purr.
It was because of him that Mokie had left Gatherin in the first place. Like all of the other cats, he’d loved to hear stories of Old Tom’s adventures. Unlike the others, however, Mokie had decided to follow through on his dreams of having adventures of his own. His mother waited every day for him to return.
It was fitting, Old Tom thought, that he would be the one to bring Mokie home.
Star
It looked so different from the sky he’d seen when he first broke out of the castle. It had been lighter then, and the sky had been alive with writhing, twisting storm clouds. Dark angry grays and swirling whites had warred in the sky as sheets of silver rain poured down.
It had been terrifying. And beautiful. Full of danger and ferocity, but it took his breath away. His first sky.
Now he stared up at his second sky, which was just as breathtaking, just in a far more peaceful way. Endless darkness, full of shining white dots. Stars. The clouds had broken up, but the moon was still covered, hidden from him until a cool breeze hurried them on their way. A full moon gazed down at him, huge and smiling at his awe. It was beautiful. So beautiful it made his heart ache.
Across
“Okay, Aero and Nuka are headed to the kitchens, and I just thought you’d like to help me deter them.”
“Wait, wait, who’s Aero?”
“He’s new. I’ll explain it in a bit—”
“No, you’re going to explain it now.”
“Aero is from the mainland. He was teleported here by a witch, but he doesn’t remember why. Not everyone is awake, and we’re under attack by a bunch of enchanted wolvins. Captain Nightwish took a team to the Rudikas to try and stop the attacks. They haven’t come back yet. ”
McKenna glanced down at the black and white mounds scattered across the floor. She nodded, then looked back at Arial. “Is he cute?”
An immediate flush colored her cheeks. Embarrassed, she mumbled, “Yes.”
Rest
To Lukalt’s astonishment, the light disappeared. One second, Blue was standing in a patch of full sunlight and the next, he was in shadow just like the rest of the Hall. There was a rumbling sound from the top of the hole that echoed in the cavernous room. The ruckus of stones sounded like a crepitation as they tumbled down.
Then Blue jerked away, backing up as something scraped and clattered its way down to him. There was a massive thump as the dragon landed on the floor just in front of him.
The sun streamed down on Faerdega, causing his radiant blue scales to gleam. A shake of his head sent small rocks flying from where they’d gotten lodged. He snorted a puff of black smoke that surrounded Blue before drifting up and clinging to the ceiling.
Contain
“Another way…do you mean what I think you mean?”
“I mean we’re going to steal it,” Raavi confirmed.
Seen had a hard time containing his excitement. “You do? Are you serious? Is this a joke? You mean it? But I thought you and rules were married or something.”
Raavi shot him a sideways scowl to which he shrugged. “I’m not married to rules.”
“Because it’s against the rules?”
“No, because—” Raavi sighed. “You know what? Go away.”
#find the words#find the word tag#tag game#writer games#open tag#open to everyone#my writing#yavs writing#castle in the ice#castle in the ice series
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Word Search: Tag Game
I was tagged by @callous-and-misunderstood to find the words tremble, touch, wish, and find in my WIPs. Thank you for tagging me, Zoe! 💖💖
TREMBLE:
Uh, I can’t find this word in a family friendly context lmao, so I’m substituting with the first synonym that came up for me: FLUTTER.
This is from an untitled, half-written werewolf!Jay oneshot I started last year that was interrupted by self-doubt(TM), so it’s gathering dust for the time being...
He’s speaking another language like an ancient incantation—
Ah, wait, no, that’s English. Carlos has an urge to laugh, so he does.
The boy looks nervous at the sound. He covers Carlos’ mouth and tells him to, “Shhhh!” He doesn’t move his hand until Carlos yawns beneath it and his eyes flutter shut and, ugh, he just wants to sleep…
TOUCH:
This is from an untitled WIP I have written from late last year. Jay’s in a dark place after a serious fight with Carlos and Mal comes to find him up on the rooftop of the school where he’s hiding while Evie talks to Carlos downstairs. I’m not sure if/when I’ll ever finish this atm, but here’s a little excerpt:
“Hey,” Mal says again as she comes to stand beside him. “Talking to you.” She keeps her tone light. Doesn’t touch him. She only glances to see that he’s not looking at the ground, like she thought he was—
He’s tracing over his arm, the inner skin of his wrist, where the veins might show if it wasn’t summer. (His tan has deepened, with all the sun there’s been. He seeks it out—unlike her. She burns like bacon.)
WISH:
This is from a WIP oneshot called “Makes No Difference Who You Are” where the Radcliffes find Carlos as a seemingly abandoned, half-feral child in the streets and decide to adopt him. I’ll probably finish this some day, but today is not that day dasjkgsjdkg. Here’s an excerpt:
Anita laughed into his shoulder, breath warm on his skin—warmer still when she kissed there. She drew back with a bright smile, sitting straight in her seat, glancing out to the stars again. “Oh, lo—” she started, catching sight of a tailed star already fading. “Never mind, I’ll wish for the both of us.”
Roger’s lips quirked and he started to hum, then softly sing, “When you wish upon a star, makes…”
“…no difference who you are.” Anita’s voice synced perfectly with Roger’s, her belly full of warmth as they continued their journey homeward, singing loud as they wanted, both grinning and swaying.
FIND:
This is from the unpublished Malvie-centric second chapter of The Way Out Is Through, which I haven’t touched in a while because I got into a mental scuffle with this chap last year and I still can’t decide if I hate it or not jdkasgjkdsg.
“Mal,” she gasped, twisting around to find just… emptiness and quiet where Mal had been. She was sure. Just a moment ago, she’d…
Evie took a breath and gathered up her grimoire, holding it close to her chest for the comfort of its solidity. She rose from the table, and turned to the trees—where there should have been a building—
The trees were wrong, though, and not just for that.
Gonna tag some fandom writers I haven’t seen tagged in this game yet (no pressure, of course): @bunny-lou @stfuimprojecting @itsalwaysforyou anddd also gonna drag my wife @everfairestar into this because I can huehuehue <3
Your words to find, if you so choose, are: wild, deep, seek, and forget
#callous-and-misunderstood#<3#descendants#descendants fanfiction#my fanfiction#tag games#descendants fandom#so many dusty WIPs yikes#notice I keep mentioning WIPs from last year#this year is not going well lol
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okay, about the titles tag! I want to about "that mushy-gushy stuff [twst]" bc it just sounded so funny lol but might be the not-native english speaker in me thinking is a funny choice of words
yes! i was hoping to elaborate more on this so here’s my chance heheh >:3
i haven’t decided on if it should be written as a fic or in bullet points yet, but the premise remains the same: twst boys as romance tropes! …at least, i think they’re called tropes?
i still can’t find out what the proper term is—tropes? cliches? moments? things??? nothing seemed to fit properly so i eventually concluded to “that mushy-gushy stuff” mainly cause i also found it funny myself lmao. i’ll list some examples of what i plan to write to help get a better idea of what i’m planning
riddle + indirect kiss: you accidentally drank from his bottle without knowing it was his and riddle freaks out, but wonders why he isn’t so bothered with it from you. he keeps letting it happen while making sure ace doesn’t tell you what’s been going on cause he doesn’t want you to stop
rook + placing a coat over a puddle: rook’s walking you back to your dorm when you come across a puddle so being the romantic gentleman that he is he places his coat over the water and insists you step on it because you can’t get your feet wet, he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you, even if it is just a minor inconvenience
malleus + staring at you instead of the sky: you know that scene where character A says “the stars look pretty tonight” and B replies back with “yeah, pretty…” while staring at A the whole time? yeah, that’s malleus. i’m not elaborating anymore, i’m rambling more in the official post
tbh, my inspo’s hit a low now for some reason so i can’t think of more so if anyone wants to add on i wouldn’t mind 👀 (hint hint wink wink nudge nudge)
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1483
If you had the last person you kissed’s Facebook password, would you go snooping through their stuff? Why or why not?
Yeah, that’s a no can do. No reason other than they’re simply not in my life anymore.
Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not have you ever come close?
Yeah it’s been a while since it last happened, but I’ve definitely fainted more frequently than most people. I don’t do well with dehydration and heat.
Do you trick or treat? If so, how old will you be when you stopped? If not, how old were you when you stopped?
I haven’t done it since high school but I have a very “never say never” approach when it comes to things like trick or treating, if that makes sense? Like if a group of friends would make plans to do it, I’d always be on board.
Ever take a keyboarding class? Do you type using the skills you learned in class, or how you used to before you took the class?
Yeah we had typing lessons in the earlier years of grade school; during exams, we were even required to bring handkerchiefs to cover our hands so that we could be checked on whether we’ve memorized the QWERTY format or not. But after those classes I never really used the ‘correct way’ and I’ve always typed with only my index and middle fingers.
What did the last umbrella you used look like?
There’s nothing remarkable about it other than it being black.
How many pairs of boots do you own?
I don’t own any pair of boots.
Ever cut your hair (the entire thing - not just the bangs or a little part) yourself?
Nah, my hands are too clumsy. I’d wreck my hair in minutes.
Do you find your best friend’s significant other/crush attractive?
He’s fairly good-looking but I’m not personally attracted to him.
What do you do with your clothes that don’t fit anymore or just don’t want?
I turn them over to my mom, who decides if she’ll donate them or give them as hand-me-downs to relatives.
Do you cut out coupons?
That’s not a thing here.
Does anyone in your house play Xbox Live?
You’re talking to a Playstation household, buddy.
What was the last school you attended (if you’re still in school, put the name of the school you attended before you came to that school)
I went to UP for college.
Would you ever date a co-worker?
No. Besides my last relationship rendering me emotionless (lol), that set-up could also be potentially damaging to my day-to-day work.
Did you ever breathe in helium and talk funny afterwards?
I haven’t had the chance but I’ve always wanted to try.
Would you ever open your own business? If so, what kind of business could you imagine yourself having?
You know, this thought has crossed my mind recently. It’d be cool to open some sort of Namjooning-themed café where people can go for rest or co-working or catching up with friends. It could be a family business if my family would be interested, given my parents’ background in hotel and restaurant management, and then my sister and I would tag team on the creative and marketing aspects...
Given my completely non-existent knowledge on business management, though, this would 100% remain a dream. It’s just a nice little happy thought that I like to think about sometimes.
When shopping, do you ever head straight for the clearance or sales rack?
Nah I kind of just follow the route of the store and see if I find some pieces that I like along the way.
What’s your biggest pet peeve at your job?
I hate the client servicing part of it which should technically serve as the biggest red flag for me now, given that I work in an AGENCY lmao. I’m already scouring new opportunities - for real now - and actually had a call with an e-commerce brand today since they have an opening for a PR position. I’m stressed and exhausted and burned the fuck out and I just need a way out before I work myself to literal death in this job.
How old do you want to be when you move out?
Late 20s would be ideal for me. I have a bit of time left before my personal deadline haha.
Ever meet or talk to someone from an online dating site?
Not my thing, never will be my thing.
Last type of candy you ate?
I think it was that gummy candy my mom bought last week.
Have you ever had egg drop soup?
Yeah my grandmother made it for us a couple of weeks ago when we visited.
How many tattoos do you want in the future?
Anywhere between 3-5 tiny ones would be fine, but this is only if I get to get over my fear of needles and getting pricked hah.
How soon do you start planning your Halloween costume each year?
I only do it like 1-2 days before and it simply boils down to having bigger priorities. I’d love to plan my costumes out at least a week ahead but work always has me swamped.
Last time you had Chinese food?
I’m literally having it right now, haha. Mom got Chinese food tonight - I have fried rice and siomai.
Are you any good at dying hair?
You mean dyeing? No not at all - I prefer to get any and every hair stuff done professionally.
What brand of shampoo did you last use?
Dove.
Did you decorate your house for Halloween? If so, how many decorations? Did you go all out, or just put up a few things?
We never decorate for Halloween.
Last person to hang up on you?
I haven’t been hung up on in a while. Maybe my mom?
Are you excited for winter? Or are you dreading it?
We don’t get winter.
Do you still own a VCR? How about VHSes?
I think my parents threw ours out years ago.
What’s your favorite scary movie?
Carrie.
How do you plan on spending your Halloween this year?
Idk, probably at a workplace Halloween party since those are a thing.
Which type of Halloween Costumes do you prefer? Sexy ones or scary ones? Or maybe funny ones?
Funny ones.
What was the most boring costume you ever had?
Probably that time I went as a pirate like, three or four years ago. It was a Halloween party that a distant relative was holding, and I couldn’t care less.
Do you like cranberry sauce?
I’ve never had it but I can tell you I probably won’t like it.
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