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lavenoon · 9 months

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*cracks knuckles*

(gonna copy this to AO3 too, after sending it, but I don’t know it just feels like tradition to send the big ones to tumblr first haha)

Ok let's get right to it!!

So first of all I gotta say I love everything about this first ever interaction! It really gives a good look at what it was like for both Dusk and Robin before meeting each other.

Like, the fact that Dusk was so sure he would be able to get there before them, because he took a “shortcut”, but it’s clear who is the most familiar with the city and the actual fastest routes. He’s so impressed that they were able to get there faster than him, haha! The fact that he did this at all makes me wonder if as a way of proving himself as capable as he is, he has taken it upon himself for a while to get into jobs above his ranks and steal the show. He certainly seems to have had a plan from the start to outdo this agent, even if he didn’t know who they were at first.

But I adore that Robin immediately shows him it’s not that easy. They are a star agent for a reason. Beating him there, stealing his cap, and not even a lick of doubt when they say they are sure they could take him in a fight. Dusk might be used to people outright being scared of him, but Robin shows none of that.

Not that they’re unaffected of course. We see it through all the chapter and Dusk throws a couple of low blows even if he doesn’t realize it. “The prickly agent that no one likes”, and especially the “If that’s how you treat your fellow agents, maybe it’s no surprise you’re unpopular.” Because oof. We know a younger Robin likely tried. Really tried to get along with others before any illusion of camaraderie was broken. And it must have felt like they were the problem because of something natural to them. And now Dusk is telling them that they are the problem for how they choose to act. Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t right? (and while I know that it’s probably not necessary at all I am just a bit curious if Moon ever thinks back and realizes his words might have stung more than he realized at first)

But aaaah, it seems Robin’s honesty does seem to have piqued his interest! Because there are implications in what Robin says about him needing to try harder to make fun of them. That maybe it wasn’t just once or twice that they received worse. Also there’s Robin saying that he doesn’t trust him, because he can hardly argue against the fact that they haven’t seen him work, and they have already shown that they are ahead of him in the game twice in the night so far. So it’s not a dismissal of him being incapable, it’s very much just that as an agent they can’t just go ahead and make careless assumptions, and Dusk knows it.

But oooh it’s so nice seeing how they can clearly connect a little, even if Robin tries to resist it. Because Dusk reminds them so much of their own early days and how he shares some of the same interests and likes that they need to keep guarded most of the time.

(sidenote: ooough my heart when he asked if they had given up on the fun, because while clearly they haven’t it’s such a lonely way of having fun and I worry that eventually they would have lost the drive to even try and keep that aspect of their job in the future ;-;)

And pffff it was hilarious seeing Dusk so cocky, confident that he’d just stolen the job from the top agent and was on his way to impress the office XD I can just imagine whoever needed the info looking at what he brought and going “ok… where’s the rest?” and him suddenly a mini panic because uh oh, what rest?

Kinda deserved tbh XD

(But aaaah again with the “you’re no fun” bit ooough, because trying to be fun only brought them rejection among their peers HHHHHH)

But it’s clear that with every moment that passes Dusk doesn’t really think they’re not fun. Actually it seems he really finds them the most fun to be around, and it’s nice that he seems to bring out that a bit more when he himself reflects what Robin wishes the job could be more about, cool stuff and booby traps or even just the secret agent theme being a cool thing to think about. Bet Dusk counted it as an absolute win when they finally ended up laughing freely. Also the fact that he was so offended at the notion that he is boring because he keeps telling them not to swear is so funny XD How dare they imply he’s as dull as the other agents!

And awww when they mentioned him in the report! It’s not nothing to receive a commendation from the star agent, but to Robin it was probably just giving credit where credit is due. But oof, the small doubts that he is still just using them to serve his own image are still there and they definitely come to play later in the fic.

It’s nice to see how from then on Robin half takes him under their wing (had to, sorry Robin XD), but it also is not precisely mentorship, but a developing friendship with a pinch of helping out. The fact that they let him know the rookie mission was a setup to alleviate the pressure from the “failure” after all. How it’s a cynical practice to harden the agents. Knowing that would definitely help him be more aware of how EVOC works.

But aaaaaa then we get the nice routine established only for the doubts to come back with a vengeance. And ooough it hurts! Because Dusk was likely just looking for some guidance on what to expect if he did get the promotion. So from his perspective the sudden hostility likely felt like a slap on the face! But it comes back to that right? Robin’s fears, that once again them being them is what will make them lose it all. That once the newbie climbs up to where they are he’ll kick them from their place, because now the higher ups found someone better and if they keep slacking off it’ll go beyond that. Deep down they probably know Dusk isn’t trying to hijack what they have, but even if aware of their practices, Robin is still affected by what the company has done to them. Having left behind nearly everything else, the prospect of having the one thing they cling to torn away is too much at that moment. And so they snap at the main threat, who is also the closest they’ve had to a friend. Makes me think a little of the non canon scenario, where the boys get a promotion, actually! Because no wonder if this was the initial reaction, in that case it would feel even worse!

But omg! The part where they defend him AAAAAAA Because gosh, if that didn't mean everything I don’t know what would! Just everything about it! The fact that every time he looks at them his eyes turn blue! The red reserved for those antagonizing him! Robin at first thinking that it’s best for him to just handle the situation alone like they had to because nobody helped when they needed it, only to become so angry at the agent discrediting all Dusk has done that they automatically intervene. Because they saw the potential! They know it’s not true! They literally had a freak out because Dusk is that good that they felt their rank was in jeopardy! And they put a stop to the mockery because it just isn’t right! Makes me remember Dusks words from a couple chapters ago. When y/n says they weren't always nice, but he replies that they have always been kind. He likely saw that way before this incident, but I can see it staying with him for a long time.

And ooough the confrontation! Dusk really deserving an explanation of what was all that about and Robin knowing that if there’s anything they do to fix it, it’s going to involve opening the slightest about their insecurities. And at first it must seem like a dismissal to Dusk. A finality of Robin saying that he’s the problem that will make them lose what’s most important, but then they call out to him! And he sees that they really don’t want to throw him aside and this must be the most vulnerable they’ve seen this hardened agent that doesn’t drop the facade around anyone else. And they’re about to offer, but they’re scared. And he can see that. But they retreat before he can even reassure them and it’s a glimpse of the person no else has likely seen, and he must understand as well. He just faced a whole lot of rejection, it’s no wonder he recognizes it in someone else’s face.

(also shaking Robin’s hand about fearing disappointment most of all)

But aaah that’s such a sweet ending! Dusk finally got to deliver the smooth line that got interrupted before XD Makes me wonder if he intended to deliver it that first night when they met but was just completely thrown off by finding Robin there hehe

A complete delight of a chapter, Luce!! I adored every second of it!! <3

In the most affectionate way, I'd love if tumblr allows read mores for asks just so I could un-collapse your asks like those comically long unfolding scripture rolls or something. Y'know in cartoons when they start unrolling and it just keeps going? I want that FHDJS

but without further ado, the actual reply!

The thing about Dusk (and Dawn) at the start of their agent career is... They underwent a year of training, where especially Dusk quickly realized that he excels at the sneaky stealthy aspects, and he's a gremlin who likes to climb. Equipped with his special grip gloves (courtesy of Eclipse), parkour works out just fine for him, and while he technically hasn't started so long ago, he's gotten used to being better than human agents! And those human agents, too - except they don't even wait to see his performance, rather dismissing it because "he's an animatronic, of course he's good". He doesn't want that - it's empty validation.

So when Dusk sees a certain someone leave, with people around him sparing them only disdainful glances, if anything... Well, he decided to prove his merit and show that he's good! He gathers it's a star agent, asks where they're headed, and thought he could get a headstart, only to get there at top speed and they're already there. Spiderman pointing meme moment.

And it that sense, Robin's insistence that he's a rookie is refreshing to him. Because yeah, sure, it can rankle his pride - he wanted to prove how good he is, and there's someone insisting he's not that great! But then he just. stays. and realizes they see him as a beginner agent, which he is. They don't see him and say "ah, animatronic, of course you're great". They basically tell him "no matter what, you just started out. Stay vigilant, or it's going to bite you in the ass." He's intrigued!

He's still a little shit, and he throws those low blows - without realizing. He tries to match the energy Robin puts out while still adapting his plans from "show up this star agent" to "tag along with this star agent", and he ends up hurting them. And he realizes it quickly, too. Because he doesn't need to look back far into the future - he falls silent right then and there. Robin tells him outright they've had worse, try harder, and Dusk walks behind them with the realization that 1) they just admitted that they think he wants to hurt them, and 2) they have gone through a lot that made them this prickly. He's already getting prickly! He's been doing proper field work for just a few weeks there! All his attempts to be seen and acknowledged and taken seriously while having fun, fruitless.

And then they have their little conversation where Robin locks up when it's their turn to answer, and still he gets it when he spots the sticker on their little gadget.

Their honesty is crucial here, too. They keep secrets, yes - that comes with the job. But they tell him he's a rookie, they tell him they don't trust him, and they refuse to be vulnerable for the same reason. Dusk can appreciate that, and he refuses to push more of their buttons after that moment in the staircase.

Robin appreciates it, too. He's "clear", he doesn't mock them for those crumbs of joy they held on to. They're scared of connection and crave it at the same time, so it's a strange mix for them still. But hey, surely it's a one off!

(Also I need you to know that I am currently trying to stomp out another timeline thought at "Robin does give up on fun")

Well, and then Dusk goes back to his initial plan (: He grabs all the information they were sent to gather, but he's superficial, sloppy. Robin figures that not everything is kept digitally, and goes for the papers - and they find additional information. So it's not that there's a rest that's missing, but River gets two reports, one technically fine and just what she asked for, the other going above and beyond with even more information. She tells Dusk that next time he should save her some time and make her read one report only, and that'd be the report with the extra leverage he didn't provide.

Cue a little confrontation - and once again, Robin reminds him that he's a newbie and has a lot to learn! He's prickly about it, but he also just enjoys that they talk to him without bias, because whelp, obviously it's not a bias to say he's a beginner! He can admit that! (Dawn can't, not as well. Another reason the reverse rivalry starts out tenser). Dusk catches a glimpse of where Robin is headed next, and decides it's time for little shit, round two!

(And he immediately gets schooled, again. He nearly got a sizeable dent into his shell for spooking them, and he takes the moment to process that they absolutely could hold their own against him. He's a weirdo, so that only excites him)

Another mission where he tags along against their will, but they threaten him marginally less and he takes it as a win. Again the honesty strikes him - he's being silly, probing to see how Robin would engage, and they catch him by surprise with the mental image of automated suits of armor! It's again a proof for him that they're not as prickly as they pretend they are - and how ironic, that later on they start calling him the cactus!

He gets delegated to standing watch, but then he does actually get to see action. Takes care of it quickly, only to spot Robin standing in the doorway, and for the first time there's the notion of surprise, and in their moment of whiplash and in his own expectation, that looks way too much like fear. He thinks now he's going to lose that connection, make them realize that he's got inbuilt weapons that give him an unfair advantage, all the things he's been told before.

He cracks a joke. They laugh - openly, and maybe just a bit too much, but neither of them is going to complain. They make a joke back, and he gets to run with it, and thus the banter is born! So he pouts extra when they call him boring after that, but he also takes it as a challenge to turn it up a notch! Despite acting affronted, he's mostly relieved that it doesn't seem to have changed what Robin thinks of him.

Robin of course is still paranoid, and since Dusk himself burned them just the mission before by ditching them, trying to steal the credit (what they think - he did credit them in his report!), they opt for revenge. They leave him behind. He takes it as a hint.

But Robin is honest. They credit him in their report - and later on, too, when their shared missions become a pattern. That's the "good word" the higher ups mean when they promote him. He'd be good enough without that input, too - or Dawn wouldn't have been promoted in the same breath, but it's something Dusk remembers.

The rookie mission? It didn't go badly. Not for Dusk (and Dawn). No, they did well, but received backlash from other agents for all the usual things. Robin doesn't know that, and assumes when they find Dusk avoiding everyone and acting hissy, but they're genuine in their reassurance. It's what makes him relax, in the end. He still hates the outcome of the mission, so they were right as far as that is concerned, but they tell him it's okay, that's how it's meant to end, and it's not a personal failing.

It tells him more about Robin, too. The fact that they seek to reassure him. The fact that they're so competitive. The fact that they offer him distraction, and fun.

But even the nicest routine doesn't erase their insecurities.

Dusk asks them what it's like to be a star agent, and they demonstrate. He's baffled, because he's been told they advocated for him, only for them to lash out like this - he doesn't know how terrified they are. Losing their rank would prove everyone who made fun of them right. They have no friends, they barely have a life outside of work, and since they were a recruit of the "work for us or we're going to make your life hell after 'infiltrating' our base" sort, they're just waiting for the higher ups to get rid of them. They're too unconventional but now there's an agent who is obviously more efficient, and they have seen him in action. They know he's good.

And they're scared. They can't lash out against the higher ups, so they tell Dusk to stay away, and he does. They're both miserable for a good while, and there are so many changes in their life. Robin avoids Dusk like the plague, and Moon is too hurt to even want to introduce himself to the very nice new landlord Sun found for them.

It's been a throwaway thought that Dusk, in moments of stress when he's expected to look at people but he just doesn't want to see, switches to thermal vision because it's shapes, and less detail. He doesn't do that when it comes to Robin. He sees them duck away, but they don't leave.

And then someone makes the mistake to say Dusk isn't actually a good agent, and just got the promotion because he's an animatronic.

Imagine you're Dusk, in that moment. (Ironic, maybe, given that Robin is the reader insert, but shh). The closest person to a friend "breaks up" with you just a few short weeks ago for being too good of an agent. They avoid you. You see them when they run into you and some other agents in the middle of insulting you, and they lock up. They don't interact, but they also don't leave - and then one insult makes them snap back up and just yeet their snack at the offender. That split second of widened eyes as they realize what they've done. Instinct. They did that on instinct, for you. And then they double down. There's the prickly star agent that no one likes. But they channel all that venom into your defense.

Dusk, of course, is still pissed. And he's well within his right for that! They lashed out, they haven't apologized, and they also don't really do that, not explicitly. He asked an innocuous question (as he thought) and got that in return.

But he stays, to ask. Tries to make sense of things. He gets that explanation, but it doesn't have much hope for him in that moment. For those few seconds he feels like he'll just have to accept that being promoted was the end of that friendship. But Robin doesn't want to lose that, either. They're the one who pushed him away, and now they're the one trying to reach out - and with everything he knows about them, he sees them withdraw, back into that hardened shell they hide behind, and he wants to reach out and stop them, but the hurt is too fresh and they're not that close - he doesn't know how he could.

This is the moment that future Moon looks back to with the thought that he should have stopped them from leaving. It worked out fine for them all, sure, but he now realizes just how scared they were, and wishes he would have held them back and reassured them then and there. It wouldn't have worked! They wouldn't have accepted it! But it's something on his mind, when he gets to know them better.

But it does work out for them. Dusk goes back to what he knows best, and what kept them entertained for so long. Before, it may have been a somewhat mentorship flavored friendship, but they're both star agents now, the same rank, and now it's a full fledged rivalry. He gets them by surprise, gets to be smooth about it, and he gets his friend back <3

#answer let luce #chaotikanvas #accidentally undercover #thank you for letting me ramble about my thoughts hehe <3 #there was a lot only implied in this chapter and it's fun to elaborate on that #Dusk didnt have the line ready that first mission - he did truly expect to be there before them #but he got scolded for not being stealthy and immediately chose violence (in form of bad flirts) about it #this is nearly 2K words in addition to however many words the comment/ ask itself is gfhdjs #fun fun fun <3

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