I wanted to make a Statehumans map called Ex-Husbands (Ex-Wives but male version) so here are the states i want to use the one pic is the title while the other pic is empty so this would be a collab picture for my map call picture so give me your male versions of these states. The picture of the statehuman must be transparent in order for me to put them in the picture but also use the template without the text if you wanna put the state that you chose on it instead.

Ohio- Me (I'm not from Ohio but these memes always get me)

Utah-

North Carolina-

New Mexico-

South Carolina-

Washington DC (although he's a capital city not a state)-

The song:

How did the first thirteen colonies get there?

“Let’s see here…” America trailed off, shuffling through a pile of old looking papers.

•·················•·················•·················•·················•

Virginia: Both parents perished in Jamestown, unable to survive the incredibly new colony’s winter. New Hampshire: Abandoned by mother who didn’t want to be associated with a child born out of wedlock. Massachusetts: Mother accused of being a witch and executed. Father- who accused his lover of witchcraft in the first place— left him due to believing he was a witch’s son. Maryland: Lost parents in the Plundering Time to an unknown fate; got separated from them during the takeover of the capitol. Connecticut: Mother tragically passed away during birth. A couple years later, Connecticut’s father died in the Pequot War. Rhode Island: Fell sick and parents thought he wouldn’t live even a couple days after he was born, so they abandoned him in a woods near America’s house; not being able to bear the thought of seeing him dead. North & South Carolina: Uncle couldn’t afford to take care of his late sister’s two children, and unable to bring himself to separate them; left them at a home he knew would be able to keep them together and take care of them well. Delaware: Father left when Delaware was five to marry his mistress; mother, in her outrage, blamed Delaware for annoying him to the point where he wanted to leave. Continued to for years until she realized she was in the wrong. Instead of fessing up and making amends; she abandoned him, feeling as if she was irredeemable (mostly out of laziness tbh). New Jersey & New York: Grandparents frankly thought their grandkids were complete menaces to society and gave up on them deciding they didn’t want to be bothered. Pennsylvania: Was a (very) young apprentice of a blacksmith, but because of disagreements and quarrels with his mentor’s sons, they let him go. He couldn’t find another apprenticeship due to them either being full or not trusting him due to his old mentor bad-mouthing him. Realizing he doesn’t want to live on the streets, he looked for a new home and ran into America. Georgia: Parents both fell incredibly ill, and in their fear that their daughter might catch it, they sent her away. They intended it to be temporary, and that they’d pick her up when feeling better, but they both passed within a year.

Statehuman Head Cannons

Oklahoma has constant migraines and his vision is blurry. His head feels like its always spinning out of control (tornadoes)

Florida, Georgia, South and North Carolina have the same symptoms when they get sick. They have mucus in their chest, watery eyes, nose won’t quit running, and their head also spin (hurricanes and pollen)

New York used to smoke a lot but is now trying to quit (smog)

California has almost constant fevers (wildfires)

Texas and Arizona have unusually high body temperatures (Always hot)

Alaska has a unusually cold body temperature but has been known to get fevers (should always be cold but has been known to get wildfires)

do you perhaps have any headcanons for sc or the sc-nc-ga trio

South Carolina is a trans female. Her human name is Alice Lillian Washington. She feels a lot of guilt over the civil war and hates when it is brought up. She has a “friendly” rivalry with North Carolina, and likes getting on their nerves. She hates causing trouble, as she fears that it will lead to another civil war. She also had trouble asking America for help, believing that he hates her for the civil war.

North Carolina is genderqueer, and her human name is Dolley Levi Washington. She is very stubborn and hardheaded.

Georgia is female, and her human name is Georgia Juliette Washington. She is close with Delaware because they are both peach states. She loves play instruments, and enjoys dancing. She also does boxing in her spare time.

Hi Weird! Can you draw North Carolina and South Carolina please?

IT TOOK SO LONG I’M SORRY!

I’m editing the video now, but I felt bad about not answering this sooner.

Got inspired and made this!! Southern states +Florida cuz he can’t say no to something risky.

Georgia’s tired of her brothers’ antics, NC is mildly concerned, SC’s having fun

The Lie

This dialogue idea would not leave me the fuck alone. Call it a draft ig bc it’s never gonna be organically fit into anything else. Im going back to what I was doing. I just needed this out of my head 

[Circa April 1865]

With a snarl, North Carolina narrowed her eyes. Her grip on her gun tightened. “Where. Is. Virginia.” She repeated, absolutely not shaken by the burning field around them. 

 Maine met her gaze, her eyes dark and filled with hatred. “You didn’t hear?” 

“Hear what?” South Carolina asked, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. He glanced at his twin, wondering if she had come to the same conclusion. 

“Virginia surrendered a few days ago.” Massachusetts stated simply, her eyes flashing with fire. “She was surrounded. She knew she was beat. She surrendered with dignity, I’ll give her that.” 

“She offered herself as a prisoner.” New Hampshire put in, their own gun trained on South Carolina just in case. 

“But what a shame.” Massachusetts sneered, not a hint of remorse nor mercy in her eyes. “I wasn’t in the mood to take prisoners.” 

There was a heavy silence as her words sank in. Maine and New Hampshire exchanged a look. They both knew the truth, but neither of them disputed Massachusetts. The lie had its place. 

South Carolina sucked in a breath, his eyes widening. “N-No...” He whispered. “No!” 

“You’re lying!” North Carolina yelled. “You wouldn’t-” 

“It’s war.” Massachusetts cut her off, taking another step towards her. “I do whatever it takes to win.”

North Carolina shook with rage. “SHE WAS YOUR SISTER!” She screamed. She advanced on Massachusetts, but didn’t get the chance before Maine intervened. 

Maine didn’t have mercy in her eyes either. The blade of Conteglacia was to North Carolina’s throat, threatening to end her in an instant. “Unless you want to end up like Virginia, you won’t try that again.” Maine threatened. 

South Carolina flinched. “How could you?” He asked, knowing better than to move. He knew if he did, New Hampshire wouldn’t hesitate either. 

Massachusetts donned a dark smirk, a certain sadism in her eyes. “You both fought with me against the crown. You both know what I am capable of.” She smirked a little wider, the burning field making her vengeance glow. “Virginia is only the first.”  

What about Delaware? Wasn’t he/she there ever since you got your independence?

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[I apologize for the bad Tiktok meme lmao]

WOOO NC BAYBEEEEE

Please never ask me to draw the states ever again

Basically the Carolina Brothers When Levi wants William to answer yes or no to their adventure with the Mystarry Squad

Basically I would credit Arrietty Rune for the Mystarry AU

Idea inspired by @arrietty-rune

HC Spam (statehumans)

*Ohio has an eyepatch form the Civil war covering where his big red dot would be. He lost his eye to the Leader of the South, Virginia.

*Hottest State? Arizona.

Coldest State? Alaska.

SHIP? FUQ YES.

*Rhode Island and Hawaii are SUPER TINY FRIENDS!! Hawaii has also given Rhode Isalnd the nickname ‘Squirt’.

*Indiana, Wisconsin, Ohio, Oregon, Rhode Island, and Maine are all physical lovers. They absolutely love hugs, kisses, and snuggles and cuddles. Basically a bunch of therapy doggos.

*Tex is secretly very emotional. He puts up the southern man facade very well, but often just wants to be left alone to listen to country and draw a while. Only Ohio, the emotional “therapist” knows this.

*Alaska is the long-lost brother to the Soviet Union Family. Only sometimes does Russia get to see them. They are the best if friends even though now they are not legally related.

*Louisiana is friends with France. They share the same interest In food, traditions, and in general have almost the same heratige.

*California is a nostalgia freak for movies. From Star Wars to Coralline and everything in between, Cali loves it.

*The original 13 Colonies are huuuuuge fans of Hamilton. Though, Virginia always HAS to point out all the inconsistentencies in the Musical.

*West Virginia does all the loudest chores in the house so that he can sing at maximum volume the whole time. He is crazy good, just super shy about it. Thing is, those chores can’t defeat his voice. All the states know he sings well, but He doesn’t know that they know.

*Florida loves Louisiana’s Gumbo, Jambalaya, and Benies. She might even have a love for Louisiana… But she’s not sure. Girls liking girls? The idea seemed preposterous. (I know some oldies down there are homophobes. Had to do it to 'em.)

*The Midwestern States like to host Dungeons and Dragons sessions all the time.

*California is Gayer than Gay. They are a straight up Diva.

*All of New England is just, f*cking queer.

*Both Dakotas as well as both Carolinas both treat eachother like brother and sister. They want to get back together as states, but they never tell eachother that.

*District of Columbia is Rhode Isalnd adopted child. Just, cuteness abound.

*Kansas sees Ohio for the trauma he received in “Bloody Kansas” (a pre-Civil War event that led to the death of many Abolitionists and Slavers, aproxomately 100 casualties in total. Kansas was considered unlawful land during this period.) He also got a therapy doggo from Indiana.

*Indiana will snuggle with just about anyone. He just loves snuggles.

*Massachusets, Texas, Florida, District of Columbia, Arizona, and Tennessee all LOVE space.

*Hawaii has memorized 30 songs on the Ukulele. She has made 3 original songs.

*(a friend came up with this one) Ohio is a doggo and/or a rawr.

*The Northern States like playing pranks on the Southern states every once in a while.

*The North and South can still transform into Confederacy and Union respectively, if not afflicted with anterograde amnesia (short-term memory loss). They don’t want to though, as they will fight most likely. Tex wants to see his uncle again though, as does Michigan.

*Ohio has a Heroin addiction, California has a Marijuana addiction, Massachusetts has an ongoing caffeine addiction, and Oregon has a crystal meth addiction.

*Ali and Bama are a fusion. They are most often fused so that they don’t get slander for being incestuous, even though the’re not.

*The United States is just a collective that makes up America. All the states are their own independent entities.

That’s all i got. G E T. S P A M M E D

Virginia: Hey I'm confused. What's your beef with Ohio?

South Carolina: If I go to my beach and throw a rock, I'll hit at least three Ohioans.

North Carolina: Oh come on you can hit more than that

Virginia: Maryland! Are you here to join the confederacy?

Maryland: FUCK no. I would rather dig up a dead body, then jerk off his decomposed corpse-dick until he cums in my mouth.

Virginia: Wow. Alright. I deserved to hear that.

North Carolina, disgusted: I didn't.