#spinster bilbo
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Fem!Bagginshield
#my art#the hobbit#tolkien#lotr#the lord of the rings#dwarrowdam#longbeards#dwarves#bilbo baggins#thorin oakenshield#fem!bagginshield#fem!bilbo baggins#fem!thorin#fem!thorin oakenshield#fem!bilbo#thorin x bilbo#bilbo x thorin#gender fuckery#gender swap#spinster bilbo#the hobbit fanart#sapphic#sapphic bagginshield
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Hobbit romantic/sexual headcanons
Frodo: Ok, so the prevailing fandom views are that he is aroace or gay, but I also see a world where he is straight, perhaps heteroflexible for Sam (if Sam should ever work up the courage to tell his about his feelings, but that's another story). In a world where he is straight, he ends up single until his 50's because 1) the Ring makes him feel "thin" and uneasy, and therefore reluctant to put down roots. He senses that someday he will leave the Shire and follow Bilbo 2) the community came on too strong after Bilbo's leaving in trying to matchmake him (because he IS, on paper, a very attractive match), and that left a bad taste in his mouth 3) he really is an odd duck, and it really is hard for him to find a kindred spirit. However, he does have needs, so he has a few secret liaisons with unhappily married women, widows, or confirmed spinsters -- because those sorts of women wouldn't want to be married either. I also have a headcanon where he starts getting romantic and sexual early, since he's confused, lonely, and has little parental oversight at Brandy Hall.
Sam: Bisexual and in deep denial about it. In love with both Frodo and Rosie, but in different ways. Also incredibly sexually repressed, likely due to the Gaffer's browbeating. Would never tell anyone directly that he is interested, gets easily embarrassed, and Rosie took the lead on every part of their relationship.
Merry: Incredibly self-assured, and gets around like a record, which is ironic, because of all four of the hobbits, he is the least "conventionally attractive." However, his confidence, his wit, and the fact that his father is the Master of Buckland all certainly more than make up for it. Despite his many conquests, and something of a reputation for being a rake, he is nonetheless a gentleman, knows how to break up gracefully, and remains on good terms with all of his former flames. He likes to tell stories of his liaisons, but never mentions specific names.
Pippin: Curious, likes the lasses a lot, and wants to be like Merry, but you've got to realize -- he's canonically, like, 16. Therefore, his forays into relationships are always incredibly awkward and overwrought. He does have a great sense of humor and a cute accent, though, and what he really needs to do is to just. stop. trying. so. damn. hard. Eventually, he starts a cottage industry of singing at weddings, which helps him meet lots of new people, ladies included, in a more organic setting. His musical talent also gets him a lot of attention from the opposite sex, so pretty soon he doesn't need to approach anyone: they approach him!
All of the above is/will be elaborated in the Flowers of Mordor au.
#lotr#lord of the rings#frodo baggins#sam gamgee#meriadoc brandybuck#pippin took#flowers of mordor au
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Weekly Roundup: 24/12/2023 - 31st/12/2024
First of all HAPPY NEW YEAT EVERYONE! No matter what it looks like I hope its a good one for you.
Now to the round up, I wrote one fic this week (for some reason it was a slog and a half) and 16,212 words so feeling quite proud.
Recs first and my fics after, I have to warnn you all, I've got a few new rabbit holes ive decended so there may be Alexa woods/Scar from Alien vs Prefitor and Boromir/Theodred recs in the future whn I-ve read enough. As if i needed new brain bugs lol.
So
1) A Complaint A Day... - birdkeeperklink (speculating) (Bilbo/Thorin, the Company's care and worry for Bilbo is adorable
2)Of Blacksmiths and Blackberries - littlebrownshoe (Wolfy_Tales) (Bilbo/Thorin, this is legit one of my fav Bagginshield fics ever)
3) A Month in the Life of Sad Spinster Sirius Black: In Which He Unwittingly Stars in a Sexy Mechanic Soft Porno (except, not really) - cmajalis, dustmouth, epithalamium, nerakrose, rscollabmods - (Sirius/Remus, a lovely comic worth reading)
4) Finders, Keepers - varsavia (Sirius/Remus raising little queer Oliver wood, just so good)
So, the fic i wrote this week
Dragon Rot - Lucigoo89 _ Bilbo/Thorin, part of @smolestboop's Bagginshield-tober promps (Im fially getting through them lol)
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saw the biggest pea brain take the other day where someone on the internet argued that that tolkien absolutely could not have made some of his characters female because characters like bilbo for example had FLAWS so really all women everywhere should just be grateful that they were spared the indignity of a female character with y’know. basic human characteristics.
so here’s some female bilbo baggins, spinster hobbitess whose gender still doesn’t change anything about the story :) (except maybe a teensy detail at the end, as a treat)
#my art#the hobbit#tolkien#bilbo baggins#thorin oakenshield#thranduil#more middle aged ladies in fantasy novels would vastly improve the genre imho#also this would probably make jolkien rolkien revolve in his grave and inscence a thousand shitty fanboys#which is how im doing good work <3#fantasy sexism gets me REAL petty hope u enjoy#theres so many good fantasy novels with great representation so hearing the same old shitty tired takes? :III#i love the og fussy gay confirmed bachelor bilbo but honestly#the person brought up bilbo as an example which i thought was kind of hilarious because bilbo's gender doesn't fucking MATTER#also this got me on a lotr roll so you can expect random pops of lotr fanart except more queer and less white
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Free to a good home - all I ask is cost of shipping (media mail would be slow but least expensive).
Titles link to descriptions.
Italics = interest shown
Strike = claimed
New / in near-perfect condition - fiction (photos #1-3)
Trail of Lightning (The Sixth World #1) – Rebecca Roanhorse
River of Teeth (River of Teeth #1) – Sarah Gailey
The Weight of Feathers – Anna-Marie McLemore
Conservation of Shadows – Yoon Ha Lee
This Savage Song (Monsters of Verity #1) – Victoria Schwab
The Shadowed Sun (Dreamblood #2) – N. K. Jemisin
Jade City (The Green Bone Saga #1) – Fonda Lee
Six of Crows (Six of Crows #1) – Leigh Bardugo
Binti (Binti #1) – Nnedi Okorafor
Sirens Compendium 2012-2015
Spirits Abroad – Zen Cho
The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror – Mallory Ortberg
Freshwater – Akwaeke Ememi
Children of Blood and Bone (Legacy of the Orïsha #1) – Tomi Adeyemi
Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of the Orïsha #2) – Tomi Adeyemi
Virtuous Vampires – anthology
The Demon King (Seven Realms #1) – Cinda Williams Chima
The Exiled Queen (Seven Realms #2) – Cinda Williams Chima
The Grey Wolf Throne (Seven Realms #3) – Cinda Williams Chima
The Crimson Crown (Seven Realms #4) – Cinda Williams Chima
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies – Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith
Ice Song (Ice Song #1) – Kirsten Imani Kasai
The Search for WondLa (The Search for WondLa #1) – Tony DiTerlizzi
Norse Mythology (missing dust jacket) – Neil Gaiman
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
Beasts – Joyce Carol Oates
Changeless (Parasol Protectorate #2) – Gail Carriger
Scream (screenplay) – Kevin Willamson
Clerks & Chasing Amy (screenplays) – Kevin Smith
New / in near-perfect condition – non-fiction (photo #4)
A History of the Wife – Marilyn Yalom
The Black Calhouns: From Civil War to Civil Rights with One African American Family – Gail Lumet Buckley
Geek Lust: Pop Culture, Gadgets, and Other Desires of the Likeable Modern Geek – Alex Langley
Spice: Recipes To Delight The Senses – Christine Manfield
A Literary Tea Party: Blends and Treats for Alice, Bilbo, Dorothy, Jo, and Book Lovers Everywhere – Alison Walsh
Where’s Mom Now That I Need Her: Surviving Away from Home – Kent Frandsen
Kanjj & Kana: A Guide to the Japanese Writing System – Tuttle Language Libarry
Manga & Notebooks (photo #5)
Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei vol 1 – Koji Kumeta
Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei vol 5 – Koji Kumeta
Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei vol 7 – Koji Kumeta
Shoulder-A-Coffin Kuro vol 1 – Satoko Kiyuduki
Red notebook
Purple notebook
Large red notebook
Well-used but still in decent condition (photo #6)
An Excess of Enchantments (The Ballad of Wuntvor #2) – Craig Shaw Gardner
A Multitude of Monsters (The Ebenezum Trilogy #2) – Craig Shaw Gardner
The Killing Moon (Dreamblood #1) – N. K. Jemisin
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And Way Down We Go. I've been listening to Kaleo and this struck me.
Another song inspired title with no other context, so I listened to this song on loop and tried to narrow down the idea so I wouldn’t end up rambling horribly like with I Am Your Lionheart, so hopefully you like what has shaken out, anon.
And Way Down We Go
This is not her journey. The fate of this world does not rest on her shoulders.
But she’ll be damned if she doesn’t try to help anyway.
I hope it doesn’t come off as me recycling previous ideas, but for this song I got very strong Tolkien ‘verse feels. More specifically one of those “Shikako gets reincarnated again in a different universe.” I mean, I suppose it doesn’t necessarily have to be Shikako’s second reincarnation, it could just be some SI!OC’s first reincarnation, but that’s what came to mind for the song what with all the very powerful Nara-esque lyrics of the song
Anyway Hartley Proudfoot(?) is perhaps not the most typical hobbit–too serious and too quiet and somehow always sad–but the Proudfoot clan is a genteel family, and they’ve always been a bit strange. Perhaps she’ll end up a spinster, unfortunate but not surprising.
Thankfully, there’s a different Shire oddball who has everyone’s attention–Bilbo Baggins, quite eligible bachelor and inheritor of not one but two fortunes… and his mother’s troubles.
(I suppose this would work with The Lord of the Rings instead of The Hobbit, but I am more familiar with The Hobbit give how recently those movies came out, and given the fake fic title it matches more with The Hobbit, I think.)
So, yeah, Gandalf comes around, dwarves in tow, dispensing quests like the world’s nosiest NPC and as they leave–the most conspicuous caravan to ever be found in the Shire–Hartley happens upon them.
And here’s the thing–whether or not she is Shikako or some other SI!OC, she knows who Gandalf is. She knows what his presence in the Shire means (beyond just the childish firecrackers that he brings to the Party Tree). She could, very easily, avoid him and live a calm, peaceful, utterly boring life.
Maybe she wants that! (She does not)
So as the group is leaving (or trying to, they seem to be going around in circles for some reason), Hartley approaches them and basically offers up her services.
Which includes as much of Shikako’s abilities as she could transfer over to this world. Which is actually quite a lot.
Seals may not exist, but explosives certainly do. Chakra doesn’t either, but taijutsu is free and the skills from the Academy can still apply. Blades are blades no matter the universe. And animals in Middle Earth are a lot hardier and smarter than the ones she knew from her first life. Maybe the deer aren’t Heijomaru and her summons, but the antlers are not for show.
As far as the dwarves know, two Hobbits just means that if one dies along the way they’ll have a backup. As far as Bilbo knows, he appreciates not being the only civilized person in the group (although he knows the Proudfoot clan are… odd, and Hartley isn’t exactly proving him wrong). As far as Gandalf knows, the last hobbit who asked him to go on an adventure was Belladonna Took.
So, yes, Hartley is added to the fellowship. And, I mean, without doing a massive retelling with all the stations of canon, she does change a few things but not everything.
But she is a hobbit, and in this world hobbits can do great things beyond themselves.
There is no romance on Hartley’s part (Bagginshield is, of course, up to interpretation) but she does become friends with all of the dwarves. I would like for her existence to change the fates for the line of Durin–whether that means for all of them or only the nephews…
She knows what the ring is. I don’t think she’d take it from Bilbo, since he did hold onto it without issues for decades, but maybe she’d tell Gandalf. Maybe that fellowship of the ring has a different lineup, a few decades early.
Maybe she and Tauriel (and Dis) bond over being badass ladies. Maybe, instead of heading all the way back to the Shire where she’s never really belonged, she platonically lives with Beorn and raises ginormous deer a hop and a skip away from all her friends.
#jacksgreyson#anonymous#prompt response#brainstorm#fanfiction#ask box fake fic titles#fake fic summaries#the lord of the rings#the hobbit#dreaming of sunshine#naruto#shikako nara#bilbo baggins#gandalf#and way down we go
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1. Genderswap. (still eagerly re-reading the posted chapters of that Bagginshield sex pollen fic)
I’ve gone into great detail elsewhere about my opinions of Fem!Bilbo which can be basically summed up as: I think all expressions of creativity are great, people who want to write fem Bilbo should write it, people who don’t shouldn’t read it, bad stuff will be written and everyone has different priorities but that doesn’t mean they should be attacked for it. This post was a response to the fact that at one point fem Bilbo became quite controversial in the Hobbit fandom. It deserves a long, nuanced discussion as there are many valid points but my opinion basically boils down to “Don’t be jerks to people.”
I think Genderswap/spectrum-slide/cisswap etc. presents a very interesting challenge for a writer. Just like any AU where you change one aspect of the character’s personality, from coffee shop AU to alternate ending AU etc., it’s the writer’s challenge to change a certain number of elements about the character while still keeping the in-character or at least recognizable in an interesting way as the same character. I see fem Bilbo as no different than that, and I found it an interesting challenge to create a version of Bilbo that was female with all the baggage that entails while still being recognizably and believably the same “soul”, if you will.
One of my favorite genderswaps was a Tony Stark fan community back in the Livejournal days (Girl Tony) explored the challenges a female Tony would face. One, that “her” prodigal scientific inventions made at the age of 4 were hidden by her family because of sexism and so Tony’s childhood genius went undiscovered until the much more “normal” age of 6 or 7, so Tony’s arrival to the scientific scene was less heralded or noteworthy. She fights an uphill battle her whole life for recognition, still getting into MIT as a teenager but slightly later because she had to run away from home to do so (rather than being supported by her traditionally-minded family) and faced other infuriating delays which created a much more bitter character. Antonia Stark in that community was a really fascinating character to me, still a playboy but more as a “fuck you” to her conservative family than for fun as it is with boy Tony, constantly fighting for recognition of her accomplishments and roadblocks others put in her way. As someone who also came from a conservative family who was told “I’m not good at math” (when MIT professors have since told me my natural understanding of the sciences is PhD level, I just have anxiety around numbers from being told for so long that I wasn’t good at them) that story really resonated with me (in case you can’t tell I still have a lot of bitterness there lol). It’s been a huge influence on how I try to write genderswap, as something that highlights the gender gap but also shows the strength of the individual to overcome but still be influenced by it.
So going back to Bilbo, I wanted to show a character who was still Bilbo, middle aged, single, a pipe smoker, book & map obsessed, practical, etc. and a bit acerbic, but also point out that this person would face in Shire society much more grief over things like not having a family at her age. “Spinster” gets a much worse reputation than “confirmed bachelor” in the sort of society I see the Shire having. Bilbo’s wealth still means financial independence and freedom, but perhaps even more whispers than male Bilbo endured and that soured her. A female Bilbo running off with a bunch of male dwarves is even more scandalous, in a way male Bilbo never even had to think of. I could go on for quite awhile about why I enjoyed writing female Bilbo.
Which reminds me just how embarrassed I am that I haven’t pulled together the last few thousand words of Death by Flowers and that I am the worst, the absolute worst I am so sorry orz
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A Courtship Most Confusing
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xT3uig
by Madkat89
Although Bella is in love with Fili, she knows that he will never actually love her in return. All she wants to do is focus on her work, for who would want to court a hobbit spinster anyway? However, Kili only wants his adoptive sister's happiness, so he decides to find someone worthy of courting Bella. What could possibly go wrong?
Words: 3547, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/M
Characters: Thorin's Company, Thorin Oakenshield, Dís, Bilbo Baggins, Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Gimli (Son of Glóin), Dori (Tolkien)
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Fíli
Additional Tags: Rule 63, Battle of Five Armies - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Courting Rituals, Dwarf Courting, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Dwarven Ones | Soulmates, Stubborn Dwarves, Dwarf & Hobbit Cultural Differences, Hobbit Culture & Customs, Hobbit Courting, Hobbits in Erebor, Romantic Comedy, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Happy Ending
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xT3uig
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Today I realized all is fear.
In my life anyway. Or at least it has been – until I finally started seeing my motivations for what they were: a running away from something rather than a running towards.
I’ve been struggling with admitting to myself that I trust God a whole lot less than I would like to think. I’ve also been frustrated with my life, even though things are pretty good overall. As I contemplated a possible connection between these two uncomfortable realities recently, I had a huge (at least to me) revelation:
I totally blame God for withholding the happiness I was promised as a child.
Let me explain…My parents were 18 and 19 when they got married. I grew up in a family with a father who worked and a mother who stayed home. My parents never explicitly enforced the idea that this was THE way a family should function, but somehow or another my child’s brain accepted and fully embraced this core idea about life: getting married and having kids was THE way to be happy.
Silly and clearly not true – but I fully believed this as a child, and I am starting to realize that my unconscious mind has not completely given up this idea. When I was younger and not living that life, I think I rationalized things in my subconscious mind as “well...I’m not living the ‘happy’ life, but things are good, and hey, I trust God - His timing is perfect so maybe I was just wrong about when that life was going to start”.
But as time marches on and I move firmly past the age when I expected to get married and start having kids, my “trust” is gradually manifesting more and more clearly as the fear that has actually been the basis of my hope. Marriage and family have been my dreams because I have always been afraid of what life would be without them.
And so, at the ripe old – practically spinster – age of 25, I am thanking God for the grace to see my folly. This life is wonderful and unpredictable and exhilarating and there’s no time for all this fear. Letting go of this dream and accepting a life where it may or may not happen, I can take my cue from Bilbo Baggins and say I think I’m quite ready for another adventure.
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Free to a good home - all I ask is cost of shipping (media mail would be slow but least expensive).
Titles link to descriptions.
yellow dot / italics = interest shown
blocked out / strike = claimed
New / in near-perfect condition - fiction (photos #1-3)
Trail of Lightning (The Sixth World #1) – Rebecca Roanhorse
River of Teeth (River of Teeth #1) – Sarah Gailey
The Weight of Feathers – Anna-Marie McLemore
Conservation of Shadows – Yoon Ha Lee
This Savage Song (Monsters of Verity #1) – Victoria Schwab
The Shadowed Sun (Dreamblood #2) – N. K. Jemisin
Jade City (The Green Bone Saga #1) – Fonda Lee
Six of Crows (Six of Crows #1) – Leigh Bardugo
Binti (Binti #1) – Nnedi Okorafor
Sirens Compendium 2012-2015
Spirits Abroad – Zen Cho
The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror – Mallory Ortberg
Freshwater – Akwaeke Ememi
Children of Blood and Bone (Legacy of the Orïsha #1) – Tomi Adeyemi
Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of the Orïsha #2) – Tomi Adeyemi
Virtuous Vampires – anthology
The Demon King (Seven Realms #1) – Cinda Williams Chima
The Exiled Queen (Seven Realms #2) – Cinda Williams Chima
The Grey Wolf Throne (Seven Realms #3) – Cinda Williams Chima
The Crimson Crown (Seven Realms #4) – Cinda Williams Chima
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies – Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith
Ice Song (Ice Song #1) – Kirsten Imani Kasai
The Search for WondLa (The Search for WondLa #1) – Tony DiTerlizzi
Norse Mythology (missing dust jacket) – Neil Gaiman
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
Beasts – Joyce Carol Oates
Changeless (Parasol Protectorate #2) – Gail Carriger
Scream (screenplay) – Kevin Willamson
Clerks & Chasing Amy (screenplays) – Kevin Smith
New / in near-perfect condition – non-fiction (photo #4)
A History of the Wife – Marilyn Yalom
The Black Calhouns: From Civil War to Civil Rights with One African American Family – Gail Lumet Buckley
Geek Lust: Pop Culture, Gadgets, and Other Desires of the Likeable Modern Geek – Alex Langley
Spice: Recipes To Delight The Senses – Christine Manfield
A Literary Tea Party: Blends and Treats for Alice, Bilbo, Dorothy, Jo, and Book Lovers Everywhere – Alison Walsh
Where’s Mom Now That I Need Her: Surviving Away from Home – Kent Frandsen
Kanjj & Kana: A Guide to the Japanese Writing System – Tuttle Language Libarry
Manga & Notebooks (photo #5)
Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei vol 1 – Koji Kumeta
Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei vol 5 – Koji Kumeta
Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei vol 7 – Koji Kumeta
Shoulder-A-Coffin Kuro vol 1 – Satoko Kiyuduki
Red notebook
Purple notebook
Large red notebook
Well-used but still in decent condition (photo #6)
An Excess of Enchantments (The Ballad of Wuntvor #2) – Craig Shaw Gardner
A Multitude of Monsters (The Ebenezum Trilogy #2) – Craig Shaw Gardner
The Killing Moon (Dreamblood #1) – N. K. Jemisin
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