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littlewriterfullofwords · 4 months

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Merry Christmas

Parring: Dr. Spencer Reid x gn!reader

Summary: You throw some Christmas party at your house where you show the BAU team your traditiona

Warnings: fluff

A/N: Hi! So, I'm currently in the 2nd season of CM, so there aren't more characters or anything, I'm new to the series, kinda, so please forgive. Second, the traditions in the ff are my country's traditions. Feel free to share yours in the comments!

"Merry Christmas!" Penelope opened her arms to hug you at the doorframe, big smile decorating her beautiful face. "Thank you for the invitation, sweetheart."

"I'm glad you came." You moved a bit to the side to let your coworker come in. "Make yourself at home, Pen."

"Sure will do." She winked at you and started to walk around your house, from time to time she was making nice comments about the decor.

The next person to come was Spencer. In a red sweater, Mr. "I know it all" greeted you with little, and cute, hand waving, his iconic move.

And after him, the others came in, in the order: Jason, Emily with JJ, Aaron and Derek.

"Your Christmas is a lot different than ours." Started Emily when you put another fish on the table.

"Yeah. Only 12 dishes? You have to try everything? That's insane." Murmured Derek with a glass of dried-fruit juice. "Where did you all get that from?"

"The Bible." Before you could answer, Spencer was faster. "You know, according to the Bible, there were 12 apostles so Catholic countries put 12 dishes on the Christmas table. They also leave an empty seat for an unannounced guest or, more spiritual, for those that had died."

"Yeah." You nodded with a smile. "That's right. Just the tradition, nothing more."

"Tradition is good." Whispered Gideon. "Tells a lot about the person."

"Once again, thank you for having us." Hotchner interrupted the info dump. "It might be a new experience for us, but that's life, right? We learning."

"Oh, stop. You making my angel blush!" Garcia petted your back in a soothing manner but with a smile on her face.

You were glad they came. Hey, they were family and Christmas is family time. You needed them now due to your family being all dead.

After dinner, came the present time! Everyone gathered in the living room and Derek, with a red Santa's hat, started to dispense the presents. Of course, he had to add something funny before giving it to the final owner, which has been making everyone laugh.

The atmosphere was amazing. It felt family-like and you didn't want it to go away any moment soon.

"It's party time!" Said Morgan, and with Emily by his side, they opened champagne and other alcoholic drinks they had brought.

Immediately , it reminded you of New Year Eve and the party your friends had always thrown. There was always lots of alcohol, music, dancing and many more.

"Let's go!" JJ grabbed your wrist and pulled into the dancing circle, you had no other choice but to join them, and you did.

Saying you weren't having the best time of your life would be a lie. You were so happy with those people, you were ready to call the your fucking family, and in your head you were. You loved each of them in your own way, and you hoped they noticed that. Well, they were profilers, they sure did.

The clock on the wall was showing 3:15am, with its quiet ticking interrupting the quiet carols. You turned off the tap in the kitchen and dried your hands. Everyone was asleep, either on the couch, armchairs or floor while you had been washing the dishes and cleaning after the party.

As quiet as possible, you came back to the living room with blankets and covered everyone with one, you didn't want them to catch a cold.

"Happy Christmas." You whispered with a shy smile before you started walking to the stairs.

"Happy Christmas, Y/N." The quiet voice of Reid's made you stop in the half way and smile again before you looked his way.

"I thought you were sleeping. Sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't, don't worry." He shook his head with his innocent smile you liked so much.

"Would you like to join me for a movie?" You hesitated some time before asking that, it was your little secret.

"Sure." Spencer lifted himself from the armchair and came up to you, then followed you upstairs.

You had this thing, you needed to watch your favourite movie after Christmas Eve to fall asleep. It was hard to explain why only this time of year but you didn't complain. You loved the movie, so it was a pleasure.

"If you don't mind, we will watch 'The Nightmare before Christmas'." You said when you finally reached your room and turned on the TV.

"Whatever you want. I'm fine with that." Spencer sat next to you, on the floor by the bed and placed his head on his knees. "Did you know that Tim Burton only produced the movie, not directed it?"

"I read it somewhere. But thank you for reminding me that." A little smile appeared on your lips before you clicked 'play' and the movie began.

Only a few minutes of the movie passed and in the corner of your eye you saw Spencer rock back and forth.

"You know you can say that, right?" You whispered with your head turned his way and a smile. "That's okay. Go on."

"Did you know that Danny Elfman only voices Jack's singing, not his spoken voice?" With your permission, Reid lets out his kept breath, what made you chuckle, and he started to talk. "He also voices two other characters, Barrel and the Clown."

"Really? That's so amazing." You whispered. "It's good to have you by my side."

"Oh, that's... nothing big." Spencer scratched the back of his head in a shy manner.

You moved on with the movie, with Reid giving you some fun facts about it. And even though you knew all that, you'd been a fan since day one, you've been listening carefully like if you didn't know them. You loved listening to Spencer, you loved his knowledge and how passionately he was sharing it. You loved... Spencer. You liked it or not, you were in love with him and his knowledge.

Unluckily, the movie ended, so did your time with Reid.

"Thank you for your company." You said and turned the TV off. "And thank you for coming...to the party. I had the best time."

"We should be thankful." Chuckled Spencer. "You taught us a lot. We now understand more."

"Don't tell me you don't profile each other on a daily basis?" You joked.

"We do....At least I do. Especially Hotch." Reid looked at the open door as if Aaron was about to come in. "He's the easiest to read."

"True." You both laughed but immediately hushed it because you remembered about sleepyheads downstairs. "Especially his mood."

Your coworker smiled and nodded his head as an agreement.

You both were going along very well, even too well sometimes, from Emily's point of view (good meaning). She really often has been telling you, that you and Spenc were acting like siblings.

"If you want, you can stay here." You offered when Reid started to get up from the ground, you didn't think what were you saying.

"I-...A-... I'll go downstairs. I have my stuff there." He looked hesitant and a bit embarrassed, especially his eyes were hesitant.

"Sure." You nodded and watched him leave the room. "Spenc."

Seconds after him leaving, you called after him and ran up to him.

"Yeah?" Asked Reid with confusion.

"Merry Christmas." Shy kiss was planted on Spencer's cheek before you turned around and disappeared behind the door to your room.

"Me-....merry Christmas." Whispered the man while touching the place your lips touched.

#ff writer #ff #spotify #criminal minds #criminal minds ff #criminalminds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader

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2012aura · 1 year

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under your mattress

summary : everyone had their secrets, yours just happen to be contained in a box under your bed.

warnings : snooping

pairing : spencer reid x black!reader

you and spencer had been dating for around a year now, and you felt as close as you humanly could. but every human has its secrets, every single last one of them, including you.

that smile plastered on your face every day when you stepped into the office fell just as fast when you stepped out those walls. those very crowded walls that you called your workplace, and sure work made you happy, the bau family made you the happiest and so did spencer. but you didn't understand happiness, before this monumental change in your daily routine. as a kid, you lived in las vegas, in one of the poorest and crime-filled neighborhoods, compared to your boyfriend. he was a child prodigy, he knew nothing other than being so, but you, oh jesus you knew. you have lived as a naive girl, an antisocial teenager, and a once-running-from-cops sort of girl. you have lived many lifetimes in this small one that you own now, you were currently twenty-one years old.

you have gone completely sober, with no alcohol, no parties, and only the occasional smoking here and there. for these unspeakable things you have done, you had a journal that you hid under your bed, it was an old shoe box from one of your childhood pairs of shoes. sure it seems weird in your mind when you pull out the now faded sparkly box of some light-up shoe you forgot the name of, but the piles of letters and notes in there explained your every thought from every living moment of your life. surprisingly this wasn't a problem, you've had roommates, and partners who never really questioned the late hours of the night when they could see that iconic box being pulled out and you sitting on the floor with a pair of soundproof headphones. it was your safe haven, and you honestly didn't want anyone to disturb that, that was until you met spencer.

he was nosy, and everyone knew it, which wasn't a bad thing, in fact in some cases it was good. but not in this one, never would it be good in this one, the things you had in that box were sacred. you thought of it like the bible, writing every waking moment you could remember, and with that came good and the bad. it was an early saturday morning, spencer decided to stay over after the movie marathon you both had last night, and you not knowing any better sat your sorry ass on the floor and began to write. you wrote how you enjoyed spencers company, how you adored him and his words and his being in general. it was different with him, it really was, no one has ever treated you with so much respect, love, and care. not even your own father could come to this point, and your absolutely adored spence for that, you worshiped the ground he walked on like he was some god. so you wrote and wrote, and even as your fingers grew cramped and numb you didn't put the mechanical pencil in your hand down.

you didn't take notice of spencers not so sleeping eyes for staring daggers into the back of your head. this night has opened my eyes by the smiths was blaring in your ears and you had no plan on stopping the sweet melodies that studied your ears at this moment until you felt the bed shift, spencer was trying to catch a peak. he knew about your journaling habit but he had never seen it up close and personal, and he had never dreamed of it, he knew this was something close and personal to you. but what person doesn't wanna get an insight into their partners' life before they were together? when you felt the bed shift you swiftly closed the journal, with the long drawstring that kept it closed, carefully placed it inside the box, and slid it under your bed, into the darkness once again. you knew nearly everything about spencer, but he knew only so much about you. you didn't talk about your family, not much anyways, you always said things like, “oh yeah my childhood was fine, had my mom and dad, and i grew up alright.” but as a profiler spencer knew there were wounds deep below the surface.

you removed your headphones from your ears and before you could speak spencer beat you to it, “easy there tiger, i'm not gonna look at your journal.” he said in a rather silly way. it made you giggle, “yeah i know spence, just didn't expect you to be up so early!” you brightly said as your climbed back onto the bed, forgetting all about the music playing on your phone. you cuddled next to him, his slim form molding into yours. you like mornings like this, the silence of the birds outside and the sun shining hitting spencers eyes just right, letting them melt into a pool that you could drown in. “want some breakfast spence, it's on the house” on the house was a joke you'd both usually make, he initially met you when you were a waitress, waiting to get into the law field but things didn't take off yet. you worked at the infamous waffle house, yup a fucking waffle house. still, you two didn't start dating until you moved your work to the bau. “sure thing baby, i bet it's gonna be delicious,” and with that you were out of his arms and making your way to your little apartment kitchen, waiting for him to follow behind.

you wanted to trust him, trust that he was just soaking in the sunlight but your mind begged you to think otherwise. so after a few seconds, you came back and peeked your head in, and he seemed to be in deep thought. “hey spence, you coming?” he snapped out of it, and just nodded his head full of curls as he got up from the bed. you spent most of the morning fooling around and eating breakfast, knowing soon enough you had to clock in while spence got to stay back. the hours before that dreadful call at twelve were spent watching your favorite movie, midsommar. spencer found it weird but jesus you couldn't deny it was your favorite. eventually, that dreadful phone call came ringing in, and you knew your lazy morning with spencer was coming to an end. you hurried and got ready, not trying to spend any more time fooling around, more than you already had been. within thirty-five minutes you were ready, your hair in its naturally curly state and you made sure to make yourself look presentable. you were grabbing your bag on your way to the door when spencer stopped you, his tall figure now standing against yours, “you sure you don't want me to drive you?” he asked. you would've said yes if it wasn't for the fact that you had to work late, “no thank you spence, gotta work a little later today! but don't wait up for me, you deserve your rest!” and with a couple of couple kisses to his lips and cheek you were out the door with your cross body bookbag and a light coat.

spencer was left all alone in your apartment, not that he minded by any means, but jesus curiosity was eating him from the inside out. he wandered to your room a couple of times, sitting in the same position as you a couple of times. every time he decided to get up and walk right back to the couch, he couldn't disrespect you like that, he just couldn't. but one look wouldn't hurt, right? how much can a book really contain if he was thinking realistically, many people only write minor things in these sorts of things. so once again he was on the same floor, now facing the bedroom door. he knew what he was doing was wrong, but he needed to know. so he started reading, and at first, there wasn't anything major. it was dated all the way from when you were fifteen and there were multiple journals and letters in this box so this could take a while. almost every passage had an opinion about one of the letters which were all numbered. he feared that maybe they were suicide notes, but as he flipped each one over they had addresses on them, mostly the same one, but some changed depending on the year. he opened number one, reading it before reading the passage about it, these were all from your father. you had told spencer your father was very much in your life and that he always had been. but these letters date back years, years before these journals were even made.

he kept reading and reading and didn't stop, his eyes reading every page rapidly because you wrote a lot with those delicate hands of yours. once he reached letter ten he stopped, it was around eight-thirty now, and he knew that you'd be arriving in a little. so he put the letters and first journal back into the box. sliding it back under the bed just as you did hours before, he let himself sit on the bed. letting everything he read sink in, and there was a lot to let sink in. a part of him felt like he didn't know you, he didn't know any of this before he decided to snoop and maybe it was a good thing he snooped. he learned a lot, about your father being in prison for all of your life, your mother's abusive tendencies, the fucked up things about your siblings and even the worst parts of yourself. he let his head fall into his hands, dragging them down his face and sighing in a stressful manner.

he didn't know you at all, he knew this idealized version of yourself that you created, this fake person. he laid himself on the bed and turned off the bedside light, nothing but the moon letting light into the room, and he soon drifted to sleep. around three-thirty in the morning he felt the bed dip, he wondered if you had just gotten in or if you had been writing for hours. he cuddled against you, no matter what he still loved you, even if what he knew was fake. maybe one day you’d feel comfortable enough to share these secrets with him but for now, these secrets would be held within his mind, until they were bought to light one day.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x black!reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x fem!readr #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff

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drreidsphds · 2 years

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•→ [2/3] Spencer Reid Icons 12x14

•,❤️ or 🔁 if you save. credit @drreidsphds on tumblr if you use

•→ I take requests for icons and banners. If I don't reply I may be unavailable at the moment.

#criminal minds #criminal minds spencer reid #cm spencer reid #criminal minds 12x14 #cm 12x14 #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #prison reid #prison spencer reid #criminal minds prison reid arc #spencer reid icons #12x14 #criminal minds icons #cm icons #dr reid #matthew gray gubler #mgg #astro's cm icons

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skylefanfiction · 1 year

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I posted 6,355 times in 2022

That's 6,201 more posts than 2021!

1,129 posts created (18%)

5,226 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@maschotch

@save-the-sky

@hotch-girl

@panevanbuckley

@skylefanfiction

I tagged 1,086 of my posts in 2022

#criminalminds - 818 posts

#criminalmindsfandom - 806 posts

#criminalmindscbs - 761 posts

#criminalmindsscene - 706 posts

#thomasgibson - 548 posts

#aaronhotchner - 529 posts

#thomasgibsonofficial - 523 posts

#matthewgraygubler - 287 posts

#hotchreid - 279 posts

#spencerreid - 279 posts

Longest Tag: 40 characters

#richardnixonpresidentiallibraryandmuseum

My Top Posts in 2022:

These scenes from Revelations will always be one of the reasons why I ship Heid so much because it was clear just how much Aaron cared about Spencer especially since he knew that he was actually telling them where he was being held by Tobias Hankel. This moment between them is one of the reasons why I ship them and they are one of my main non-cannon ships. #criminalminds #criminalmindsscene #criminalmindsfandom #criminalmindscbs #aaronhotchner #spencerreid #thomasgibson #thomasgibsonofficial #matthewgraygubler #heid #hotchreid https://www.instagram.com/p/CkBtlO4PoCk/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

23 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

This scene is one of the reasons why I love Heid which is Aaron and Spencer simply because of their acting and the way they are interacting with each other especially when Spencer told Aaron that he kicked like a 9 year old girl after he told him that he didn’t know if he understood his plan. Thomas and Matthew have such amazing chemistry as Heid and that is why I ship them as a couple. #criminalminds #criminalmindsfandom #criminalmindsscene #criminalmindscbs #aaronhotchner #spencerreid #thomasgibson #thomasgibsonofficial #matthewgraygubler #heid #hotchreid https://www.instagram.com/p/CkAP5eQM4BI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

23 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

This is so funny with a list of Emily’s iconic quotes from seasons 2-7 because Paget has always been funny with them especially the line where she told Spencer there was a lot to hate about him only for David, Derek, and Penelope to chime in as well about the times he beat them at other things. Another one that is super funny has to be the one where she said he was so lifelike after David asked Spencer how he cracked the code only for him to tell the two of them as well as Aaron, Derek, and Jennifer how he did it. #criminalminds #criminalmindsscenes #criminalmindsfandom #criminalmindscbs #emilyprentiss #pagetbrewster #jemily https://www.instagram.com/p/ChDugeYsbVjFB0thIrPklZNgcV5rR3rlrEUrWA0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

25 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

This scene was so funny especially Aaron’s facial expression when finding out Spencer had a girlfriend but I loved all of their facial expressions too. Aaron was the one that I found most funny as it was obvious he was shocked to hear Jennifer say these words: “Spencer has a girlfriend.” The reason I found his reaction funny is a because I ship them so much even though they weren’t an actual couple on the show but still he was one of the very few people that could speak Spencer. #heid #hotchreid #criminalminds #criminalmindscbs #criminalmindsfandom #aaronhotchner #alexblake #jenniferjareau #davidrossi #derekmorgan #penelopegarcia #thomasgibson #thomasgibsonofficial #jeannetripplehorn #ajcook #joemantegna #shemarmoore #kirstenvangsness https://www.instagram.com/p/Cf4_vD6MA5RK_t09hMrCysRjoc2Ljqh0s3XqiU0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

27 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

This is such a great picture of my main non-cannon Criminal Minds ship which is Heid (Aaron Hotchner and Spencer Reid) as they would have made such a beautiful couple. Their love for each other is something that I know all of us who shipped them would have loved to see especially me since Aaron was basically one of the only people who could even speak Spencer. Thomas and Matthew had such natural chemistry that I would have loved them as a couple so much and it sucks that they were never given a real chance. #criminalminds #criminalmindscbs #criminalmindsfandom #heid #hotchreid #aaronhotchner #spencerreid #thomasgibson #thomasgibsonofficial #matthewgraygubler https://www.instagram.com/p/ChIpJrPP3KMZ9jFvDdlQJsinRZhm9gPQcmWKpU0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

33 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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maschotch · 2 years

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#WHAT an iconic speech #like this whole monologue is very theater kid energy which i hate #but especially the 'there are no words' part #this parts cool tho i like the middle part #however i realized ab five min ago that i dont have to post the rest of the speech if i dont want aksjhdlg #i got so caught up in posting scene for scene that i realized i can just pretend the moments i dont like dont exist #4x26 #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #emily prentiss #spencer reid #jennifer jareau #cm caps

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darnittumbleweed · 4 years

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And in that moment we were all this random possibly stoned college student who says “hey””that’s neat” and eye-fricks a confused Dr. Reid in the hallway...She truly is a relatable queen.Such an icon, She’s the hero we deserved.

#she saw a chance and shot her shot what an icon #an iconic queen absolutely #criminal minds #spencer reid #david rossi #seriously what was this moment though?#she was so random and she sounded stoned af #this was a glimpse of future professor reid #and his gaggle of auditing college girls

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deepend-swimmer · 3 years

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REID CAN'T GET LAID ONCE MAN NOT ONCE MAN HAS A PUTRID FINGER YALL

#but to be very honest i like him with lila way more than with that also nerdy girl that's killed #i love this actress but i can't remember her name ALSO REID IN A HOODIE 😭😭😭#also like both the romantic interests i know of him were stalked what a coincidence right?#i miss coded bi spencer reid guys what an icon right what a pity that they chickened out on the last moment #criminal minds #OH MY GOD WAIT THE ACTRESS IS YOUNG AMBER HEARD I THOUGHT IT WAS THE 100 GIRL DON'T BLAME ME GUYS I'M WATCHING IN 360p #EVERYTHING FOR THE CRIMINAL MINDS BUT LIKE BRO NOT AMBER HEARD FUCK YOU WHO IS THE MAGGIE ACTRESS THO #is maggie sophie turner wait no it couldn't be her it's too old of an episode but it does look a lot like sophie turner in 360p

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fightingdragonswithwho · 2 years

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SPENCER REID ICONIC MOMENTS:

POKER REID (7.13)

#iconic #spencer reid #spencerreidedit #spencerreidgif.#spencerreidgif #poker reid #spencer reid iconic moments #cm 7x13 #cmedits #cm #criminalminds #criminalmindsedit #criminal minds #criminalmindsedits #i'm gonna attempt to do more moments like prince charming #i've looked at these for too long and now i hate them but i'm convinced they filmed this in the sun itself at how yellow it was #.gif.#.qp.#ana.gif.

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youresog0lden · 3 years

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teaser for my new series “Everything That Seems Impossible Is Possible.”

“Hi my name is Dr. Reid or um actually S-Spencer Reid.” when I touched his hand, I seen everything. “What’s twilight?” “I spent ten months crying over losing a friend and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.” “I got shot in the leg and I didn’t get any cookies.” I looked into his eyes that had a certain sparkle to them.

“Hello I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

MORE TO COME SOON :)

#spencer reid #iconic spencer reid moments #spencer reid x y/n #Criminal Minds

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donald4spiderman · 3 years

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I Thought...

masterlist

—

Summary: Spencer is discouraged by your flirting with Emily, but you quickly put his worries to rest.

Couple: Some implied EmilyxFem!Reader, but mostly SpencerxFem!Reader.

Category: FLUFF

Warnings: sexual undertones, slight swearing

—

“Cute shirt.” Emily complimented as she settled across from you on the jet.

You glanced down at the burnt orange button up you picked out for work. It was more fitted than the tops you usually showed up in, displaying a lot more cleavage than usual.

Spencer stepped on to the jet a few moments later, claiming his usual spot in the seat to your left. Instantly, his face was buried in a novel, his sturdy finger scanning the words at an inhuman rate.

You grinned back at her, “Thanks. To be honest, I kind of copied one of the outfits you wore the other day.”

“Really?” Emily teased, her eyebrows raising. “Am I that much of a fashion icon in this department?”

“Sure.” you chuckled. “You always look so good at work.”

Your cheeky tone caused Spencer’s eyes to dart up from his book, scanning over you and Emily suspiciously.

Spencer wasn’t wrong to be a little curious. You and Emily always carried a certain... flirtatious nature around the two of you. There was obviously some unspoken attraction, and Spencer was not fond of that.

He knew you weren’t an object to claim. He couldn’t call “dibs” on you, it wouldn’t be right. But, he tried his best to let everyone else on the team know that he was infatuated with you. Effective? Somewhat. Pathetic? Absolutely.

“Oh stop it.” Emily feigned humility, rolling her eyes. You giggled lightly in response. “You always look amazing. You don’t even have to try.”

Shrugging, you glanced away shyly at her praise. “I don’t think so...”

“Of course you do!” She assured. “You’re so gorgeous. Don’t you agree, Reid?”

Spencer’s eyes widened at the sound of his name, head darting to face Emily. “H-huh?”

“Don’t you think (Y/N) is gorgeous?”

He shrugged, anxiously returning to his book to avoid the conversation at hand. His hand trembled as he turned a page, reading at a far slower pace than usual. You grinned at his obvious discomfort.

“Ouch, Reid.” You pouted, “You just knocked down my confidence 50% percent.”

Attempting to save face, he shook his head, “T-that’s not— no— I never— I never said—“

You interrupted his stammering,placing a cautious hand on his thigh. “Reid, don’t worry. I’m just fucking with you.”

“Oh... Okay.” He sounded somewhat relieved, despite your finger tips resting dangerously close to his growing desire.

“Although, it would hurt to be called pretty by the most handsome guy on the team.” You muttered, turning to flash a sly grin at him.

The poor boys eyes practically budged out of his skull. Emily cackled at Spencer’s shocked expression, collapsing into a laughing fit.

His eyes darted around in confusion, “W-what? You think I-I’m good looking?”

“Of course, who doesn’t.” Your nonchalant tone threw him for a loop.

“I-I... What?” He stuttered. He leaned in a little closer to you, whispering ineffectively, “B-but... You and Emily?”

The two of you laughed at his question. “What about me and Emily?” You chuckled, turning to smirk at the woman across from you.

“I-I thought— I just assumed that you two were... you know...”

“Fucking?” Emily blurted out.

“No!” Spencer exclaimed, throwing his hands wildly in the air. “You just seemed like... I don’t know... like you had something going on.”

“Do we have something going on?” You asked Emily teasingly, raising a brow.

She smiled back at you, “We have a lot of potential, but Reid has had his eyes on you much longer than I have” Her tone was humorous as she struggled to contain a giggle.

You faced Spencer once more, leaning on the arm rest to inch closer to him, “What do you say, Pretty Boy? I’m all out of options here.”

“W-what?” His head shook, utterly overwhelmed by the pure luck of his situation.

“She’s asking you out, dummy.” Emily deadpanned.

“So, how ‘bout it, Reid?” You stared up at him sweetly, tracing his jaw gently with the pad of your finger. “Go out with me, please.”

“Y-yes! Of c-course.” He managed to choke out, his voice wavering embarrassingly.

Laughing, you gave him a firm pat on his cheek. “I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

All Spencer could do was smile.

—

#sub!spencer #spencer reid fanfiction #dr reid #reid #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #emily prentiss #spencer reid x reader #emily prentiss x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #cute

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writing-in-april · 3 years

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Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde (1/?)

Part One: The introduction

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: Reader meets a mysterious stranger at the library during a book club meeting.

Part Two, Part Three

Series Masterlist

A/N: Hey Heyyy! This is my first Dom!Spencer fic in so long!!! My last one was also funnily enough for a fic swap as is this one! I had @aperrywilliams for the fic swap organized by @imagining-in-the-margins. I had so much fun writing this one- it’s based on a prompt that I got from @andiebeaword and @spencers-dria helped me by guiding me with the book club idea- with a little twist! I am considering making this a series, if y’all are interested PLEASE let me know- I really want to because I had so much fun writing this. Thanks to all y’all for reading and requests are open!!

Warnings: 18+, Dom Spencer, Public Sex (is anyone that surprised??), Impact Play, Post Prison Spencer, Use of the nickname Doctor during sex, Spencer is a brat tamer, Spencer is morally ambiguous but doesn’t do anything explicitly immoral

Main Masterlist Word Count: 3.0k

As soon as you walked in through the large wooden doors it felt like history hit you over the head with a book. Even though it was on the small side for a library it still probably held more books than a normal public library, almost every wall was adorned with built-in shelves stacked from bottom to top with old books. They ranged in every subject you could think imaginable, from every point in history imaginable, and from every point of view that was imaginable. When you had first discovered this place it had felt like you had been transported to another world. You were surprised that more people didn’t know about this old library nestled in the corners of D.C, it was just sitting there idly watching as history passed by day by day, while it sat writing down all its secrets.

A meeting of the classics was scrawled on the standing white board you saw right when you walked into the library. A meeting of the classics from 7pm to 11:30 in reading room C were the exact words, you didn’t even really need to read them as you had been looking forward to this event for weeks.

You made your way down to the reading room that was specified, only encountering a few stragglers similar to yourself on the way down. You were somewhat new to the events that this library ran, only coming to the past four months. It was quickly becoming your favorite thing to do every month.

There was always a theme to each of the parties, ranging from different eras of history, specific novels, and including things that were open to interpretation. Tonight’s theme was as stated on the white board, a meeting of the classics, which had been described as “Pick your favorite literary icon from a classic novel and dress up as them.”

You had decided to not pick a character from a classic novel, but rather an author, Mary Shelly. You based your entire look on the iconic writer of Frankenstein (with a twist of course) because it had been your favorite novel as a child, it still was your favorite novel.

Once you had made it into the large reading room you took in the full room like you did every week. People were dressed as many outlandish characters, with some being more difficult to decipher than others. As you walked around the reading room you could feel the eyes of another on you.

You could feel his stare following you intently as you walked around mingling with the others that you had met before. The eyes belonged to a man you hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet, a man dressed as someone instantly recognizable, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. What other iconic character would be split down the middle, half innocent doctor and half evil alter ego.

Even behind the costume you could tell how attractive the man was. He was extremely tall and lanky, with deep brown eyes and the fluffiest brown hair you had ever seen.

“Who’s that?” You asked the married lady and gentlemen dressed up as Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. Maybe it was shameful that you didn’t know their actual names, but you guess that’s what some people want when they come to an event like this

“That’s Dr. Spencer Reid, he hasn’t been here for a while and he sometimes misses things because of work. You didn’t hear it from me, but I heard he got in trouble with the law, that’s why he hasn’t been here for almost six months.” Her gossipy voice was drenched in fake sugar that made you gag on the inside. You still did appreciate her information as it gained you the name of the man who couldn’t stop staring at you like he was trying to figure you out.

“Must not have been that bad if he’s already out now, or maybe he’s innocent.” Ms. Bennet shrugged her shoulders at that. You may have even been naive to not heed her warning, but the idea of getting to know the mysterious fluffy haired man that had been staring at you all night was too intriguing for you to ignore.

“Who are you?” The mysterious man asked when he finally decided to approach you instead of staring at you from across the room.

Trying to maintain the same level of mystery as the man had you dodging his question with a simple redirect, “Who’s asking?”

“I thought it was quite obvious who I was.” He was right it was obvious, but why would you let him know that despite the fact that you knew what character he was you could tell the man underneath was the real mystery of it all.

“You’re the one who is not obvious.” The back and forth you had already picked up with him was thrilling, you sensed the fact that in most conversations you would have with him it would be a kind of battle that you would have to win.

“If you must know, kind sir, I am dressed as Mary Shelly, author of Frankenstein, with a bit of a modern twist.” You made sure to call him sir instead of his earned honorific this time, to see if it would poke any buttons.

“I am not a sir since my name is Dr. Spencer Reid. I can see now who you are dressed as, but I would still argue that it is not what the intentions were when they set this up.” You could tell that he was only teasing you with the way the inflections of his voice sounded, you were glad your teasing had been a moderate success.

You did also provide him your name before deciding to poke his buttons once more,“But, isn’t she a classic, Dr. Reid?”

“But, you have not made her a classic anymore by putting as you say a ‘modern twist on things’ though I must say it does look well made.” You would’ve been offended if you could not tell that it was all in jest, though you still got the sense that you still were not seeing what all this man was about.

“Thank you, Doctor I made it myself. However, you still haven’t answered my question yet, Dr. Reid.” You asked the next question hoping he would get what you were implying, “Who are you?”

“I suspect you may already know, but I am dressed half as Dr. Jekyll and half as Mr. Hyde.” At least he started to somewhat catch on to the hidden meaning in your words, though you still had not dug up the real answer you were looking for. He was too intriguing to persuade you to stop digging, you wanted to find who the doctor really was, not the partial mask he was still using.

“Yes, I suspected as much, but aren’t you breaking the rules by dressing up as technically two characters?”

“Were there rules that said I couldn’t dress up as two characters?” He fell nicely into the small trap you had set for him, retorting quickly without thinking. Which you found odd for a man that was clearly intelligent.

“No, but were there rules that said I couldn’t dress up as a classic author with my own twist?” The look on his face had let you know you had won the debate. You smirked with triumph as you glanced over the man, taking note of each of his handsome features in case you would never see him again.

You decided to pivot the conversation to another question that was on the forefront of your mind,“Do you have a dark side, Dr. Reid?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” He was deflecting, but he didn’t seem agitated by your question, simply amused by your dogged curiosity.

“I am curious though, what are you exactly underneath it all Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde?” Your coy smile was most definitely not lost on him, he could see right through your facade. He could see right through Mary Shelly to find the true you underneath. You only wished you could figure him out as well, you wondered how he got so good at being able to read people in an instant.

“I haven’t figured that out yet.” Well, at least you got the answer to what you were looking for, even if the answer wasn’t as straightforward as you may have been expecting. But, you were realizing that Dr. Spencer Reid was probably anything but straightforward.

Your heart was pumping fast, his words had a bigger effect on you than he had probably expected, your panties hidden underneath your long dress were dampening quickly. Though as you saw the smirk on his face grow as you fidgeted in your chair you realized that maybe this was intention all along.

You excused yourself for a moment with a veiled excuse of going to the bathroom. You hoped he’d follow right behind you, to see that you were going to one of the empty reading rooms. If you had read his intentions correctly the heavy doors on each of the rooms should significantly squash any noises he or you would make.

Sure enough after an appropriate amount of time had passed so as to not raise suspicion, the good doctor (that may or may not be good at all) entered the empty room.

He brought you into a dominating kiss that made you want to cower at the same time as be completely defiant. You fought with valor as he tried to consume you entirely with the kiss, not letting his tongue slip into your mouth for as long as you could hold off. In the end you still lost the fight when he lifted you up onto one of the large wooden desks in the room, causing a gasp to fall from your lips that finally gave him full access to your hot wet mouth. He suddenly pulled away to pinch your cheeks together with his hand to make you look at him which made you whimper pathetically at first, but you appreciated his next question immensely.

“Do you want this?” You nodded as vigorously as you could with his hand pinching your cheeks.

He however was not satisfied with my eager nod and prompted you to confirm once more with an even harsher tone, “Speak up when you’re talking.”

“Yes, Doctor.” You replied with his honorific instinctually and you were pleasantly surprised with the eager groan that came from his lips in response. Plus, you were slightly rewarded with being able to feel his lips on your collarbone, sending even more shivers down your spine.

“Let me know immediately if that changes.” The contrast of his sweet meaning words with his hand gripping your jaw was jarring, but you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed it. It just made you want to be as bratty as possible because even if he was harsh there was still the underlying care in everything he did, you felt safe.

“Maybe I should just call you Mister instead, since that’s clearly your dominant side.”He growled into your neck that was quickly getting covered in hickies, next thing you knew he flipped you around to face the desk closest to you with your back to his chest.

“Bend over.” He commanded, to which in response you opened your mouth to retort. Instead of letting you run your mouth as you had done before he wound his hands through your hair and pushed you down to take the position he wanted. He then pulled up your dress to uncover the panties you had soaked through. You thought maybe he was going to give me some relief of the ache in my core, but you were given a harsh slap on your ass instead.

A whimper involuntarily came out from your lips from the harshness of the slap that you assumed was revenge for not following his commands. He then spoke with deadly conviction, “I want you to say thank you, doctor after every time I spank you.”

You only agreed because you were afraid that if you did not comply now he may not give you what you wanted. So, as soon as the next stinging slap came down on the same spot as before the phrase fell from your lips, “Thank you, Doctor!”

He continued his repeated hits onto your ass and you made sure to never miss thanking him with a cry. Once he was satisfied with how much you were punished for your sassy remark he rubbed over the inflamed skin of your ass with his large, unbelieving hands. He moved your panties to the side to dip his deft fingers to run through your folds, collecting some of your wetness. You whined loudly and perhaps pathetically in response to him only lighting touching you instead of obliging the heat you felt everywhere.

“Be patient, you’ll get what you want since you decided to start listening to me.” He snapped which caused your knees to buckle again.

“I can be patient, Doctor.” He definitely appreciated the continued use of his honorific in this scandalous situation as he let out a groan almost every time you said it. Instead of answering you he started to undo the pants of his outfit, a pair of slacks that were also equally as split as the rest of his costume. You didn’t look back to see his cock because you did not want to be punished by him twice in one night. But, you certainly felt it.

You could tell just as he was running the head of his cock through your folds and pulling your panties to the side again that he would be the biggest you had ever been with. What should have worried you slightly only ended up sending a shock through your core instead. He was at least somewhat gentle when he finally started to enter you, letting you get somewhat adjusted before sinking in all the way to the hilt.

As soon as he sensed that you had adjusted he started a rough brutal pace, not that you were complaining as he hit all of your most sensitive spots as his cock dragged through your walls.

He made no effort to stifle the loud moans that were coming from your mouth, maybe he thought the thick wooden doors would stifle the noises. But, there was no way no one would be able to hear the unintelligible wails that were coming from you.

“You like bringing out this side of me don’t you?” He rasped out after he pushed your torso back down to flat on the desk once you started to lift yourself up on your elbows. When you only answered with a noise that was not understandable he prompted you to speak up with another slap on your ass and said, “I said earlier to speak up when you’re trying to talk to someone.”

“Yes, Doctor!” You finally were able to cry out with a few more slaps to your ass from him.

Each time you kept getting close to the edge he’d pull away from you slightly dashing your orgasm away from you cruelly. Each time you decided to whine out loud to voice your displeasure even if it was involuntarily he would just prolong edging you for even longer. You were babbling incoherently when he pulled you by the hair so your back was pressed into his chest and after a few more moments of hearing you beg nonsensically with tears in your eyes he finally gave you the command,

“You can cum.”

“Thank you, Doctor!” You wailed as your orgasm washed over you in devastating waves, you were sure no other man had made you finish so hard in your life. You kept repeating, “Thank you, Doctor!”over and over until you had completely come down from what was arguably the best orgasm of your life. Your own orgasm helped propel his forward, and you made sure to confirm out loud that you were ok with him cumming inside you. The warmth that filled you as he pumped into you a few more times caused one last groan to come from you that was weirdly harmonious with the groan from the doctor.

Normal aftercare wasn’t really applicable in this type of situation, you hardly knew him and the added fact that you were in an old library with a party down the hall didn’t help either. He still cleaned you up with a softness you had yet to see from him during your short encounter. Aloe probably would’ve been the best option to soothe your raw bottom, but he did massage you for a few minutes after he cleaned the rest of you. He had even made sure your clothes that were not period accurate, as he had pointed out earlier, were neat before you both left. There were no cuddles and soft loving words exchanged, but you still felt immensely cared for by a man who claims he might not be a good man. He was a strange case.

“You still never answered my question, Doctor.” You stated as you stood on the steps of the library after you two had slipped out to leave.

“That’s because I still don’t have an answer.” And, with that you parted ways into the cool air of D.C. You hoped he had the same feelings as you when you had both parted ways, you wanted to see him again. There was another meeting next month, maybe then you would get your chance again.

The thrill that ran through your veins whenever you interacted with him, whether he was fucking you or having a rousing conversation about classic literature made you want him no matter whether he was Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. You’d take them both.

Part Two, Part Three| Series Masterlist

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Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar

Spencer Reid/CM:

@calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes

Dom Spencer (new tag list):

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #mgg #mgg x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler smut #spencer reid fanfiction #matthew gray gubler

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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Fic Recs #8

I’ve decided to start creating some fic recs list, mostly because I am too always in search of good fics to read in my constant thirst for whatever it is I’m in need at the moment. I hope this will come in handy to at least one of y’all.

around your neck, by @akvtsuki-ari - for when you’re in the mood to have your name in a chain around Spencer’s neck, a show of both his possessiveness and your newly found one. My favorite part is the confident way in which post-prison!Spencer is written. (Spencer Reid smut)

morning wood, by @angrythingstarlight - for when you’re in the mood to live through an incredible turn of events that should be embarassing for your neighbor Steve, but end up with a very happy smutty ending. My favorite part is the entire description of how Steve ends up naked in the hallway. (Steve Rogers smut)

play well with others, by @navybrat817 - for when you’re in the mood to be in a relationship with your mobster boyfriend Bucky but still be hungrily desired by his partner and best friend, mob!Steve. My favorite part is Steve’s longing. (Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers smut)

what’s new pussycat, by @sagechanoafterdark - for when you’re in the mood to laugh about werecat!Steve trying to cockblock his flatmate and best friend Bucky, who’s dating the girl they both are into. My favorite part is cat Steve nuzzling against reader’s naked chest. (Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers fluff)

restraint, by @stargazingfangirl18 - for when you’re in the mood to be completely under Ransom’s control, binded and exposed for him to take - in anyway he chooses. My favorite part was the anal play (Ransom Drysdale smut)

all day, by @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog - for when you’re in the mood to be between Bucky and Loki, solidifying the basis for a poly!relationship. My favorite part was Bucky’s insecurity. (Bucky Barnes, Loki smut)

wings, by @thespringpriestess - for when you’re in the mood to giggle about making Spencer Reid incredibly confused and flustered. My favorite part is how iconic the reader is as Spencer’s guardian angel. (Spencer Reid fluff)

Don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment for these talented writers!

#eyre reads #spencer reid x reader #bucky barnes x reader #loki x reader #ransom drysdale x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers reader #bucky barnes reader #ransom drysdale reader #loki reader #spencer reid reader #fic recs

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rcksmith · 3 years

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Spring breeze part.4 — Spencer Reid

Icon by @obiwansjedi

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3

Sumarry: After the breakup, Spencer and the Reader follow different paths and lives. But, after 8 years, Gideon's death brings an avalanche of emotions, putting the two face to face again in a reencounter that could break their hearts again — season 10 —

Couple: Spencer Reid /Gideon's daughter!reader.

Warnings: mention of death, mention of violence, death of the father, depressive thoughts, murder, crying, swearing, a lot of anguish, mention of love, fluff (but it has a very fluff too, I'm not a monster)

Word count: 5k.

A/N: This is the most sad chapter that has, I promise that the next will be very cute.💖

I saw Gideon's death episode again to make it as faithful as possible for you guys. I used the original Criminal Minds chronology too, being 8 years from Gideon's last appearance until his death.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Let me know if you want to be added for a taglist for a specific fandom (Criminal Minds, The Umbrella Academy, Riverdale, Roman Godfrey, or all)

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — — —

Hunting bandits. Save people. Improve the world a little bit every day. Those were the three things Spencer believed it was worth to be at BAU. It was worth fighting for, holding on, staying sleepless for days, being haunted by murderers by day and nightmares at night. For what it was worth looking at the abyss, even when it looks to you

Reid could deal with human perversion, with the thousand and one ways to practice heinous crimes, the sowing of evil and cruelty. He could cope with constantly being inside insane minds, learning his whys and mechanisms. He could take it. He put up with it day after day, case after case. He endured being tortured, stay being held at gunpoint, having a piece of his essence plucked with red-hot iron month after month. Spencer knew he could handle it.

But he couldn't handle death. Goodbye. It shattered his soul far more than difficult cases, pushed his own sanity to the limit. Perhaps burying his feelings as deeply as possible was just a method of delaying the wave that would drown him at one time or another. Inevitably.

Each farewell took a piece of Reid away. His father, his mother, Ellie, you, Gideon, JJ, were just a few of the people who left, living their lives elsewhere. But what about those who died? The victims, the children, Hayley, Maeve, Emily (even if only for a short time) and so many others. These took much more than a piece of him. Maybe costu his whole soul.

Spencer felt himself harden over the years, the cases, loss after loss, day after loss. He felt the purity of his own heart slip through his fingers like sand, the faith in humanity to be put to the test. Sometimes even faith in himself.

Was that the price to pay for that job? Being constantly vulnerable? See his life and the lives of the people his loved most at gunpoint?

It was worth?

Maeve's death shook him more than any other, sucking all the pink glow from his world, leaving him with only the cold feeling of hopelessness. A very deep void. It took a long time for memories of she not to hurt like red-hot iron, for his breathing not to be heavy. It took a long time to be happy again.

And when Spencer felt healed from the deepest wounds, the most visceral pains, he was hit again. Deeply. If Maeve's death was a wave that brought him down, Gideon's death was the tsunami that destroyed him.

“It's Gideon.” Hotch's voice confirmed the fear of everyone in that cottage.

Then Spencer felt shattered. Torn apart. Torn like a rag doll and placed on the fire. He wanted to scream, to scream so loudly that he would never regain his voice. He wanted to break something, destroy some, run away.

But run away from whom? From what? That pain or himself? If Spencer had been able to tear off his own skin at that time and be someone else, he would not have hesitated. Not having dropped to his knees in that cottage was a miracle, because Spencer no longer knew what was holding him upright.

Jason Gideon, in many ways, was all that Spencer had. He knew that they took different paths and traveled different roads, living different lives, but he believed that they always end up on the same, even one they was old. Spencer was sure that if he was dying on his knees, Gideon would be to rescue him. For all those 8 years, it was extremely comforting to think that Gideon was out there, living life, finding the hope he had in college, finding the brilliance the world had.

And Reid knew that Jason had you. And you had Gideon. That was the most soothing and comforting thought. No matter what, he knew that you would take care of Jason, just like he would take care of you. But now... now Spencer's world had dissolved in the air. Like a sandcastle knocked over by the wind.

And the pain was surreal.

When he realized, he had left the room, close to the... body. If he could, Spencer would have moved away from himself. How would he take it? One more death, another psychopath. How many other people he love will are died at the hands of the work he did every day?

The answer to all of these questions was frightening, and Spencer wasn't sure if wanted them.

The trip to the coroner was the worst Reid had ever done, talking about the body was the worst conversation he had ever had. And when Morgan put his hand on his shoulder and said that he couldn't close himself now, that they were going to get that son of a bitch, all Spencer wanted to say was that he couldn't take it anymore. That he couldn't breathe. The emptiness was too oppressive. So much visceral pain.

But that was not what Spencer said. He just clung to the only lifeguard in the middle of the rough and deserted sea: justice. Gideon deserve it.

Reid doesn't know how he managed to get back to the Gideon’s house, how he managed to hear Hotch and Rossi talking about what could have happened. But he was there, standing, by some miracle.

“Do you know who might want to have done this?” Hotch asked Stephen, who had arrived, his eyes red from the crying he struggled to hold.

“No. I know he had a list of things he wanted to do before he died... That's how we came back to speak, one of the things was to get back in touch.” His voice was so reminiscent of Gideon's that it was stabbed in the heart of Reid.

“Didn't he talk about being chased? Feeling anything strange?” Rossi commented.

Reid watched Stephen's expressions carefully, first because he reminded Gideon a lot, and second because he looked for any clues in his reactions.

Stephen took a second to think before saying: “No, but we both don't keep in touch daily, you know?” He swallowed a sob, probably with regret, but then his eyes lit up with some information: “'But Y/n surely know, they both spoke to each other every day, if my father was thinking differently, surely she know.”

The mention of your name hit Reid with a very different wave. Bringing a very different feeling than it should. At that moment, he felt himself holding the air.

For a second, a lapse of consciousness, Spencer had not connected any of this with your physical presence. The notion that you were Gideon's daughter was obvious but, for some reason, Spencer didn't think about the fact that you were going to be there. That you would share the same air with him again, the same place...

“We will have to call her, bring her here to see if something has been left, or taken. If there is anything important on the scene.” It was Hotch.

“I called her as soon as you guys called me.” Stephen said “She arrived from California the day before yesterday, my father and she were going to travel.” He tried to swallow the crying, his eyes trembling.

"And you weren't going?" Rossi added.

“I have a son and a wife.” He gave a smile broken by the sadness of the mourning “They would stop by before I go… Y/n was going to tell me the news, since our schedules hardly match much, she works as an astronomer in…”

“Caltech.” Spencer completed, without even realizing it, like a thought out loud.

“Yea.” Stephen agreed.

Spencer felt a chill go from head to toe, and another ton of feelings were thrown at his back. The reality that he was going to see you again hit him hard. Like an arrow. Suddenly, Reid wanted to get out of there. Run as far as possible.

He couldn't see you. He had no ability to deal with those feelings now. Not now, when his life was so overwhelmed with emotions for Gideon’s death that he still hadn't dealt Not when you aroused the feeling of... hope. Spencer can’t could hope, of any kind. Not for them to be taken from him with visceral force. Reid was already hurt enough for handling another fall.

“... But I don't think it's a good idea for my sister to be here, anyway.” Stephen continued to speak.

Rossi and Hotch frowned: “Why?”

“They were very connected. Seeing this scene is not going to do her any good...” he sobs this time “Y/n is not like me… she is sentimental, emotional. ”

“As long as you're trying to stay calm, she'll be the opposite.” Hotch completed.

“I just don't want my sister to suffer anymore and...”

But it was too late for Stephen to complete. It was too much for Spencer to escape. It was too late to be born again, in a different life.

A gray car moved forward on the stone road, at too high a speed not to have washed several road fines. That was so much typical of you who hurt Spencer's heart pieces more than he thought possible. More than he thought he could feel at the time. You were always so wild at the wheel. But Reid didn't have time to finish a thought, not even Rossi, Hotch, Morgan who was with them or even Stephen. Because car brutally stopped it, the door opened and…

And it was as if the sun came out from behind the clouds after years. As if summer had finally come after decades of overwhelming winter. In a burst, everything you've ever represented for Spencer has come back for him once again. And he felt the same thing that he felt when he first saw you, 8 years ago. And he was catatonic.

You got out of the car in a very hurried and desperate way. And as much as there were tears in your eyes and redness in cheeks, Spencer has never seen anyone so beautiful. Your hair was longer, in a brighter shade, maybe you had dyed it. Your features were more lyrical and beautiful, and Reid thought that the passage of time had no effect on you. While he considered himself just less clumsy over the years, you proved to be blooming like Romania's most superb rose.

“DAD!” But that was when your desperate voice brought Reid's consciousness back to earth.

You weren't calling your brother, you weren't asking why, you weren't in mourning. You were in denial. Disbelieving. You called out to your father, with the certainty that he would show up. And the despair in your eyes hurt Reid more than being shot.

But before the agents could do anything, you were running towards the house and Stephen ran towards you, taking you in his arms, trying to keep you from getting inside.

“LET ME GO, STEPHEN!” You struggled, trying to get rid of your brother's arms, your hair messing with the wind, tears streaming down your eyes. “They are wrong! It's not our father! Let me fucking go! DAD!”

“Y/n” Stephen had a broken heart in his eyes, some tears streaming down his eyes “You need to calm down before you get in there !”

“LET ME GO!” Yours sobs broke the hearts of the four agents over there “DAD!” You was cryng out, almost like a prayer, in a desperate call.

"He's gone, Y/n.” Your brother kept his arms stronger in you, trying to contain you while you struggle in trying to break free and go inside the house, under the illusion that you would find your father there.

“NO!” Now your crying was continuous “I spoke to him yesterday! It's not him, Stephen!” Then your brother turned you to him, holding you tight, and you melted into a visseral pain “It can't be him!”

“I know...” he sobbed, looking at you with the same shared pain “I know...”

So you gave yourself up to a painful, loud and desperate crying, the kind that won't let you breathe. And, unlike Reid, you fallen down. Your knees found the stone and grass floor, your hands clasped on Stephen's shirt, who knelt on the floor with you, delivered the pain you both shared.

You knew what your father's risks were in working in such a dangerous profession. Expose yourself to constant and frightening danger. You always knew about the risks, you just tried to ignore them all your life, sinking your fears about your father not coming home at night. Then, when he let the BAU, that fear dissipated. You felt a colossal weight being lifted off your shoulders, like tons of lead, and you let go of a fear so great that you didn't even know you had it.

For 8 years you thought that the chances of him not coming home were over, that the chances of seeing him the next day had increased dramatically. For 8 years you two traveled together, stopping at every type of diner for milkshake, chocolate ice cream and mint - his favorites - For 8 years you had your best friend, the only thing you knew you had in the world. You always knew that if you were drowning in the ocean, it would be your father who would give his lungs for you to breathe.

You didn't see a life without Gideon.

For you, you were crying for hours in what one day was your father's backyard, totally devastated, but for the rest of the world it was a matter of minutes.

Your sobs were so loud and real that Hotch and Rossi caught themselves with watery eyes, perfectly understanding the pain you were going through, the devastation. The two had lost many people, many of them being essential pieces to be able to continue breathing. Many of them felt wounds that would never heal.

But it was Rossi who approached you, the pain at the top of his throat, his mind wandering the day Gideon said he was going to have a little girl. Unlike Stephen, Rossi never saw you in person, but the sparkle in Jason's eyes whenever he talked about you, or with you on the phone, was enough to know that you were one of the essential pieces to keep breathing.

“Hi, my name is Rossi.” He knelt in front of you and your face went towards him, your cheeks and nose as red as your eyes.

“M-my dad talked about you."” You were still sobbing, slowly letting go of Stephen's shirt.

"Good things, I hope.” The two of you laughed like a sigh, and soon the pain returned to your eyes in a visseral way. “I know this is not fair, and I know it is asking too much, but I need you to go inside and try to find something out of place. Something that whoever did this to your father may have taken or left. ”

You closed your eyes in pain, tears streaming as you sobbed. Your hands, trembling and cold, went to your face, perhaps trying to hide from reality, perhaps wiping away tears. Maybe both. When you looked back at Rossi again, you saw the pain in his eyes too.

"I don't know if I can do it.” You admitted, your voice shaking.

"I know.” Rossi took his hand to yours, squeezing comfortingly “But only you can help us now, help other daughters not lose their father to the same killer. Being inside in the house can bring information that is in your subconscious. I promise you will make it, we will all be here with you.”

His handshake got stronger, and it reminded you of your father. That should have been the same way he comforted the victims' relatives, the way he was supposed to act with people.

'Everyone is somebody's son.' That's what Gideon said. It hit you like an atomic bomb. And, for a moment, you thought it was possible to die of sadness.

You squeezed Rossi's hand tightly, as if you were looking for courage. When you opened eyes again, you gave a weak nod. Carefully, as if any sudden movement is capable of causing you more pain, you stood up, your legs wobbly, your heart bleeding, sadness clouding your vision. Rossi put his hand behind your back, in a way to make sure him were there, as an anchorage in reality that would not let you get lost in the valley of sadness and pain.

As you walked up to the house, you didn't see the other agents, you didn't see the trees, the cars. At that time, you didn't even know what color the sky was anymore. It was like a suspended moment, when the world is in slow motion, the hemisphere is terrified. The sadness was palpable in the breeze, in the way that the rays of the sun did not reach the ground. The whole land looked like mourning.

As soon as you stepped inside the house, the smell of home and Gideon hit your nose, and you felt your face tighten in an expression of pure pain. You didn't notice the agents coming in behind you, you didn't notice Penelope and JJ. You just saw the furniture, the decor, his stuff. As if Gideon had just left for the market and was going to come back.

Everything was in was there. Minus the most important thing: him.

You did not notice when Rossi left you, you did not notice who approached. Everything was in a haze of pain.

But that's when you saw the strong blood marks on the floor, stuck to the wood with possession. A cold shiver as sighed from death ricocheted through your entire body, bristling all over your skin. In a burst, like the bursting of a violin string, the mist dissipated, the state of tupor burst, and reality hit you with overwhelming force.

And then the plug fell.

Jason Gideon had died.

You fell again, barely noticing the sobs and loud crying starting to come out again, the most desperate and painful in you life. But this time the arms that took you were different, bringing with you sensations that you haven't felt in a long time. That a long time ago you forgot that you could feel.

They were long, thin, and contained a vigor hidden beneath the thin facade. The smell of his presence was… heaven. That feeling was your anchorage on the high seas, in the valley of despair, and you clung to him for fear of drowning, of not finding your way back home.

You didn't have to see it to know who it was.

You turned to the arms that took you, now Spencer kneels with you on the floor, and you cried in a way that you never cried before, with a visseral pain. Your hands went to the brown cardigan he wore, closing there as if the fabric was your only chance for salvation.

So you looked at the immensity of the his brown irises.

"He was the only thing I had, Spen.” You sobbed loudly with the crying, gently swaying his coat, your voice utterly torn.

Spencer felt his eyes sting, his throat lock and the remains of what was his heart ache in a hideous way.

“I know.” He felt a tear run down his left cheek, his hands on your arms.

At this time, the two of you supported each other. Gideon meant a lot to you two. An irreplaceable role in yours life. And Spencer knew that was what you were talking about when you said:

"He was the only thing we both had.” You closed your eyes, your hands still firmly on his coat, your heart pounding.

But this time Spencer's voice was just as broken when he said: “I know.”

Then he hugged you.He hugged you for everything. He hugged you because it was a pain that only you two could understand. He hugged you because you needed it, and because he needed too.

Jason Gideon had a special connection with you two, a connection that only the two of you had ever experienced. Each relationship with Gideon was different, special in different ways, but only the two of you had him as a protector, mentor, a much more paternal and confidant figure. He was the kind of person you could leave your life in his hands, the kind who would teach you the secret of the worlds, show you what goodness was and at the same time strength. And you two had that.

You stained Reid's coat with tears, and Reid stained you with the strong smell he had. He stepped far enough away to be able to see your face perfectly, at a considerable distance, and, against everything he had ever done before with anyone, he took your face in his hands, his eyes fixed on your in pain shared.

“We will catch how did it.” Reid assured you, as if he had tattooed this words on your skin. You closed your eyes in pain, but he brought you back “Hey, keep looking at me."

So you did it. Because you would always follow Spencer. To hell if he asked.

"Don't take your eyes off mine, okay?” His voice was so sweet, so gentle, and you couldn't have done anything but agree. “When was the last time you spoke to Gideon?”

“Yesterday.” You replied “We were going to travel to the beach today, I took a vacation from work.”

“Was he at home when you two talked?”

The team looked at each other, with several questions in those look.

You denied it, the hiccup now because of the shortness of breath you had because of the crying.

“He stopped at Roanoke for...” and that's when you seemed to remember something.

Your eyes widened softly, your lips trembled, and you let out a stammering sigh as you try to remember something very important.

“What do you remember?” Spencer stroked your cheeks with his thumbs, trying to calm the beating of your heart that went back to being frantic and making you focus on the question, not the sea of emotions you felt.

“He…” was when your eyes fluttered before meeting Reid's again. “He said he saw a woman on the news who was found dead. And ... and that he had to make sure of one thing ”

Rossi looked at Hotch, who gave an attentive and objective expression.

“Did he tell you why?” His eyes closed again and you sobbed. Reid moved closer, bringing your face back in his direction again “Look at me, Y/n.”

As soon as you did, he gave you a gentle smile, but contained all the pain in the world. He understood what you were felling.

“Why was he interested in the case?” He changed the question.

“I-it was something about...” you searched in your mind “Girl named Tara. I don’t know. He mentioned about a blue butterfly tattoo on her ankle as well, and that it was something to do with a… a case or something.”

“1978” Rossi interrupted and everyone looked at him “Gideon and I worked on a case in 1978, the suspect was never caught and Tara was a teenager who we thought had been kidnapped by him. The killer left dead birds in the hands of the victims ”

“But he didn't mention birds and...” That's when your eyes, fluttering, darted around the room and you stopped abruptly.

Spencer turned his attention to you again, seeing that you were staring somewhere. His hands slowly left your face and he asked:

“What?”

“The board.” You pointed to your father's board, which had a beautiful brown bird.

“Does say anything to you?” Rossi turned his attention to you.

You shook your head, your body too exhausted to go to the painting and examine it.

“He shot the board.” You looked at the agents “My father loved that painting, he never would have done that. Even though my father is stunned, he has the best aim I have ever seen.”

“The devil is in the details." Rossi went to the pinting and, after two seconds, turned to the team and said “I already know who did this.”

You let out a gigantic sigh of relief as the agents split up to continue the case, speaking so fast that you couldn't keep up.

“I helped?” You looked at Spencer, tears still shining in your eyes.

He smiled and nodded “Very.”

But when he got up, you took his hand, making Reid turn his attention back to you again, a questioning look on his face.

“You're going to get it, aren't you?” The sob invaded your voice "Promise me that you will catch him, Spen."

Reid took his hand in your, giving you a strong, comforting squeeze before saying:

"I will. I promise.”

And then he left, along with the other agents.

- - -

You thought you knew what pain was, the loss, the tightness in the heart. You thought that your many relationship breakdowns showed you what it was like to suffer. But you have never been so wrong. None of that compared to how you were now, to what you felt.

You would trade that feeling for anything in the world.

This was terrible. A cold, coercive, brutal and cruel feeling. As if you were at the bottom of a black ocean, unable to breathe, falling deeper and deeper, consumed by the overwhelming cold of the water.

It was impossible to say in words how you felt. But if it were you had to define it in one word you would say: pain. A pain that bends you, a pain that makes you want to scream, that pierces your lungs so that it is not possible to breathe, but that even so, you fight for air.

It was pain at its rawest, most brutal, sharp and atrocious like a dagger blade. You would go through Dante's hells for eternity instead of living one day with that pain.

Since Spencer and the agents went after the person in charge, you have sat on the steps of the front door, watching the nature, the shaking of the trees, but your attention was so far, far away. Perhaps unattainable.

Gideon always loved watching the seasons go by, and in that moment, you wondered if looking at the same thing he looked at every day would make you feel close to him. Feel with him. It had only been three days since you last saw him, when he picked you up at the airport, but you felt like you were past three lives. How would you go without it? How were you able to think of living without it?

You pulled your knees up against your chest, hugging your legs, the metallic, atrocious and icy taste of devastation stuck to yours in your mouth. The trees shook hard, forcing the birds to fly away, but you didn't feel cold. You were not feeling the cold breeze hit your body, nor were your muscles contracting in exhaustion from the hard wood of the steps you were sitting on.

The hunger, the cold, the heat or the craving could not reach you, as if the pain had paralyzed all your system. Probably your soul.

You didn't see when Stephen put father's blanket over your shoulders, nor did you hear his sobs for seeing you so devastated. But you smelled Gideon, and the warmth of the blanket was like having his arms around you again. Then the rest of the water in your body found its way to your eyes and crying was as automatic as breathing.

You were clinging to Spencer taking the son of a bitch who did it, trying to chase away any other thoughts that weren't about that. You didn't want to think about what would happen after he was caught. Which meant his capture for you. It would bring justice to Gideon, honoring his name, his life, but it wouldn't bring him back. What was taken from you would not be repaired, regardless of the end of that damned man.

When he was caught, you would have nothing else to focus on instead.

You don't know how long you stayed there. Hours? Days? The those peach and gold tones in the sky is from dusk or the dawn of a new day?

You had lost track of time, as if your watch had stopped since the time Gideon died.

The sound of cars on the road was the only thing that pulled you out of your fucking valley, and as soon as the black SUVs stopped, you stood up as if you had been waiting your whole life for that moment. The blanket fell from your shoulders, heart accelerated at an alarming rate, and for a second, everything was gone from your mind.

Rossi was the first to get out of the car, but yours eyes darted to Reid. You wanted to run, ask what had happened, listen to the answers. But you were paralyzed in place. Afraid of the truth, of reality.

What would become of you after that news?

Spencer came towards you without hesitation, and you couldn't take your eyes off him for a second. He didn't say anything, nor did he explain anything. It was not needed. The way he reached out his hand and placed your father's rings in your palm were enough answers.

Your whole body shook and you looked at Reid with more emotions than askers.

"He is dead." He told you, and it made you fall down again.

But this time you fell into his hugging, clinging to him in despair. There were many meanings in that embrace: gratitude, relief, fear, pain and grief. And Spencer hugged you back in the same way.

You two stayed that way for a while, even when the agents went to talk to Stephen, even when Garcia and JJ left the house, even when the cold wind hit you both.

“Thanks." You heard yourself say it, and Spencer shook his head, signaling that it wasn't necessary, and the two of you moved away.

So you went to Rossi, and hugged him too. In that second, Rossi could feel Gideon in that hug, and it took a second to not cry.

“Your father was a great man." He told you when the two of you walked away, and you agreed on a sad smile.

"He was." You looked down at the rings in your hand, staying a second there before turning to the agents and saying: “You guys are going to the funeral, aren't you? I ... my dad would like it w-very much.”

"Of course." Rossi guaranteed it.

As they walked away and went back to the car, heading for their own houses, your eyes met Spencer's and he whispered in the air to you:

“I will see you at the funeral."

You nodded, giving you a sad, grateful smile. And while everyone was leaving and you were looking at the rings in your hand again, you had a feeling that your story with Spencer had just started over.

A/n: I also lost a very important person to death, and for everyone who went through it too, I mean that no one is alone! My message box is open if you need anything! Love you❤️

Tagged @gublersuvula

@peculiarinsomniac

@measure-in-pain

@nobutalsoyes

🍒 @misshale21

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