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crockettmarcel · 2 years

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id love to hear more ab your sarah having a baby as a teen hc !!

I'm obsessed with this one because it's all based on things she's said/done and my own deranged mind, and there's nothing in canon that can actually disprove it, so as far as I'm concerned it's true 🤷‍♀️

anyway. I think that when Sarah was a teenager, around 15 (I have a reason for this specific age), she accidentally got pregnant, then hid it from her mom for as long as possible. when her mom found out, she wasn't mad, per se (as in she didn't yell at Sarah or kick her out) but she was adamant that her teenage daughter was not raising a baby. she didn't offer Sarah a choice, just straight up told her not to worry and that she'd find a couple who wanted a baby, but she did her best to convince her it was the right decision

all that stuff Sarah said to Noah in 2x20 (Generation Gap) about not wanting to have a baby? those were things her mom had said to her so that she'd go along with the adoption, and that she's internalised after 10 years

the quote "The real reason I don't wanna have kids is... it's too hard. I- How is anyone supposed to do it all?" comes from her mom telling her that having a baby is really difficult (which obviously it is), but then going on about how she struggled so much when Sarah was a baby, and that was with a husband. none of this is in a "Raising a baby is difficult, are you sure that you're ready to do something like this? Have you at least considered adoption?" way, but more like "I don't have any faith that you'll be able to do this, looking after the dog is already hard enough for you, adoption is best because you wouldn't be a good mom (and I won't be embarrassed that my teenage daughter had a baby)."

and then when Sarah said that she has no maternal instinct or connection to babies? we've all seen her with babies/children and that's just not true. sure, she was slightly awkward when she gave Rachel the stuffed bear in 1x01, but she was awkward with everyone then (she would only have been a few weeks/months into her ED rotation at that point, and we all know she wasn't a "dealing with patients" type doctor when she first started). and with that said, she still cried when she performed CPR on Rachel and broke her ribs. she missed her graduation because she'd stayed with a sick baby, she cried in the bathroom after telling that boy's parents he had a terminal illness, and she obviously cared a lot about both the girl from the psych ward (2x16) and Danny (yes, he was 19, but that's barely an adult)

the point about her being 15 when she got pregnant comes from part of a conversation she had with Dr Charles in 2x01

"You know who the most unhappy people in the world are? 15-year-old girls."

"I remember."

obviously there could be a million reasons why she was unhappy at 15, but thinking about it in the context of this hc, it would make sense that that's how old she was when this happened. I'd be pretty unhappy if my mom was forcing me to put my baby up for adoption

anyway so the timeline is that she got pregnant at 15, and the baby was born around the time of her 16th birthday (just before or just after). she got a few pictures and a video of the baby and she got to hold and wash her before she left hospital, and then that was that. Sarah’s birthday is sometime between May-July, so she'd have been able to spend her summer break just recovering from the birth and trying to put it all behind her. then her mom had her start at a new school for her junior year, where no one knew what had happened and she could just keep her head down and work hard

so that's what she did! she worked hard and got good grades, and then in her senior year, she had to look after a baby for her health class. she told Noah (again in 2x20) that she hacked her doll because she was overwhelmed, and honestly? that fits so well with this. she's overwhelmed, not just from trying to balance her workload + the baby project, but also from the emotions of it all. she hacks the doll because she wants to get a good grade, but also because if she doesn't do well, her mom will say that she told her so, that this is proof that she couldn't have handled having a baby and it's a good thing she agreed to the adoption

Sarah then graduates and goes off to college, and just completely internalises everything her mom told her. she has no maternal instinct, being a mom is too hard, she wouldn't be good at it, her baby's better off with its new family. when she tells Noah she has no intention of having a baby, that's partly true. she can't get past everything that happened, and the thought of going through it all again is too much. but at the same time, she's spent all these years feeling like there's a part of her missing. her baby was taken from her, and the pain of it is still so raw. she doesn't know if she would ever want to have another baby, but the more she thinks about it, the more she feels like maybe it could help

#ask #sarah reese #chicago med #youth!au

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kamorth · 2 years

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I've seen a lot of concerning, thinly veiled anti-microlabel/neopronoun posts coming across my dash lately so I just wanted to clarify some things.

Neopronouns are good actually. They help people figure themselves out and find their own identity. Not all neopronouns are new and using neopronouns is not a passing fad that sprung up on tumblr. It's been happening for a long time, the internet just let more people know it was an option. A living language changes and evolves to suit the needs of the people who use it to communicate, and a huge part of that is people making up new words. All words were made up by someone at some point. As our understanding of sex and gender grows, so does our need for new words to explain the new things we've learned.

Microlabels are good actually. They help people figure themselves out. They show people that that one specific thing they think makes them broken is actually an experience that other people have too. They help people find community and support. Sometimes people don't realize they're queer until they find that microlabel and learn more about it - "I can't be ace, I DO experience sexual attraction sometimes, it's just only with people I already know really really well. Wait what does demisexual mean?"

You don't have to use the same microlabels to find things in common with people, that's where umbrella terms come in - "You're lithromantic? Oh so you're arospec, like me!"

The only problem comes when people start gatekeeping. We are a community. We are fighting to be heard. More voices means we can be louder. What purpose does gatekeeping solve other than keeping us quiet?

I remember reading somewhere in the last 18 months that more than half of teens now identify as part of the queer community with the largest percentage being under the bisexual umbrella. I cried so hard because when I was a teenager in the 90s that would NEVER have happened. There was one very flamboyant gay guy who got bullied constantly in my year and a girl who everyone whispered about ("apparently she's a *lesbian*") and anyone else hid it perfectly, probably even from themselves. I know I tried to. I'm from a country that prides itself on its own perceived progressiveness and parents waged letter and complaint campaigns against the curriculum because our one Sex Ed class a year had a paragraph about how about 2% of the population, possibly as high as 5%, were gay, lesbian, or bisexual. The closest we got to being educated about trans people was the 5 minute discussion one guy (I wonder if he's still a guy) had with the teacher about crossdressing during a question session. She called it a sick kink. It makes me so unbelievably happy that it's not like that anymore. I didn't get it then but I now understand that the Gay Pride people were fighting against that because they didn't want us to be afraid. I remember hearing my dad say "letting a guy stick his dick up your arse doesn't make you a hero, where's my straight pride parade" and because we didn't have the internet I supposed that made sense at the time even if I didn't like that it made sense. Now I know better and I disagree with every word he said. The people who marched in those parades are my heroes, genuinely.

And there were so many of them. Topless butches on Harleys, sparkling twinks wearing nothing but a speedo and a feathered crown and painted head to toe in blue glitter, bears in fairy costumes and pink tutus, Amazon goddesses who all played on the same men's rugby team. and my absolute favourites, people who I couldn't sort into a box because I had no frame of reference for anything about them. They intrigued me. I was too scared to then, a 14 year old who had managed to tag along with friends to the city and snuck away to watch the parade that was only for adults, but I wanted to talk to those people. I wanted to know if any of them were somehow like me.

So I read about how more than half of teens are now comfortable, even proud, of their queerness and I cried because that means it's working. People like me don't have to hide and try to force themselves into these stupid arbitrary boxes anymore. Kids like me don't have to spend years, even entire lifetimes, feeling broken anymore. The world has started getting better.

More than half of kids were just like me and now those kids don't have to feel the way I felt. How could I not cry? Tears of joy and relief and finally feeling real.

The community flag is a rainbow because we're fighting against the black and white thinking that trapped us all in heteronormative, amatonormative boxes that made us miserable. That's what we've got in common, and the status quo is scared because now there are more of us than them.

Our community and our differences ARE our strength. Gatekeeping only hurts us all.

Gatekeeping makes no sense unless the people doing it want to keep us miserable.

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pikapeppa · 4 years

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Fenris/f!Hawke smut: Mouth

Some plotless feelsy smut, because sometimes a girl just has to write Fenris going down on Hawke. Or is that just me? Okay [goes to sit in the smut corner like a smut goblin]

~1800 words; read here on AO3 instead.

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Rynne Hawke spent a lot of time thinking about Fenris’s mouth.

He had the perfect mouth, in her opinion. His lips weren’t so plump as to be the first feature of his face to draw the eye, but her eye was drawn to them all the same. She lovingly studied the delicate bow of his lips, and she admired the way that bow became more exaggerated when he was sneering at a slaver or scowling at something Anders had said. She contemplated the perfect dusky-rose colour of his lips, and when she leaned away from him after a kiss, she silently cursed the smudges of her raspberry-red lip stain that dared to spoil the natural hue of his lips. Sure, there might be other mouths in Thedas that were more lush or more rosy or more attractively shaped, but to Rynne, no one else’s mouth held nearly the same appeal.

It wasn’t just the shape of Fenris’s lips that was so thoroughly preoccupying, though. It was the way they moved. It was the way they twisted in disgust when Fenris smelled fish down at the docks. It was the way they parted on a weary sigh when Rynne stumbled haplessly into the next late-night Lowtown fight. It was the way his lips pressed into a thin line when she said something foolish, and the way they stretched and curled into a smile when she said something foolish that he thought was funny. His lips were expressive, moving and shifting in time with his emotions and pulling at her heart like a puppet on strings. Rynne watched the evocative movements of his lips, and she thought to herself that she could spend a lifetime watching his perfect mouth and never get bored.

And then, of course, there was the way Fenris used that lovely mouth of his.

He used it for all the normal stuff, of course — talking and breathing and eating and all. But even those mundane acts were enough to drive her to distraction. When Fenris talked, Rynne watched the way his lips shifted around the baritone sound of his bone-melting voice, and she admired the way he slowly wet his lips when he was thinking about what to say next. When Fenris breathed, panting heavily after a fight or drawing a gasp of air when she dragged her tongue across his lyrium-lined abs, Rynne thought about the air that passed through those perfect lips, feeding into his lungs only to come back out shaped into a dryly humorous remark or a low-pitched chuckle or a pleasured groan. When Fenris ate, he hid his mouth sometimes behind one hand while he chewed, and Rynne treasured the moments when she glimpsed the tip of his tongue flicking out across his lip to catch a stray crumb or a precious drop of juice.

Fenris talking, Fenris breathing, Fenris eating and sipping elegantly from a glass of wine: Rynne watched with unabashed appreciation as his mouth did all of that fine and necessary work. But all of that was nothing compared to the way he used his gorgeous mouth to kiss.

His lips parted slightly as he drew her close, and Rynne happily gave herself to the perfect slightly-parted pressure of his lips. His kisses always started this way, a firm press as though he was anchoring himself to her before deciding whether to deepen the kiss or to draw away, and she was always delighted to let him be the one to decide which direction their kisses would go. In a life where Rynne Hawke was the one in charge, the one who led their merry little band of misfits from one madcap adventure to the next, she was more than happy to let Fenris lead the way in this slow and tantalizing dance of pleasure: this dance where his perfect mouth slid carefully and smoothly over hers, his lips coaxing hers apart and his sleek tongue stroking her own, his teeth pressing delicately into her lower lip until she gasped, his lips brushing over the corner of her parted lips with the delicacy of a butterfly’s wing…

Fenris leaned away from her, leaving her panting for air, and still she couldn’t look away from his mouth. His lips were plumper than usual from the firm pressure of their kiss and their colour had deepened to a tempting rosy hue, and she just couldn’t stop fucking staring at how beautiful they were.

“Hawke,” he said.

She forced herself to stop staring at his mouth. “Yes?”

His eyebrows rose slightly. “Are you all right?”

“Of course,” she said. “Why do you ask?”

“You are staring at me,” he said.

“I’m always staring at you,” she replied. “You are gorgeous, in case you’ve forgotten.”

He gave her a chiding little smile. “You’re staring more than usual, then.”

She tilted her head. “Did you know that you have the nicest mouth in all of Thedas?”

He scoffed and rubbed the lovely mouth in question. “Kaffas, Hawke. You will make me blush.”

“I certainly hope so,” she said cheerfully. “Your ears turn such a charming shade of red.”

He huffed a laugh, then lifted her chin with his thumb. “A nice mouth, you say,” he mused. “Is there something you want me to do with my mouth?”

His voice was a low and playful purr, and it triggered a pulse of lust between her legs. She let out a throaty laugh. “Why Fenris, what a naughty suggestion.”

“It isn’t naughty,” he said. “Not unless you make it so.”

She coyly nibbled her lip. “Well, if you’re offering…”

“I could offer,” he said. “But perhaps you should ask if there is something specific that you want.”

He was smiling faintly, and she nearly swooned at the treasured sight. She curled her fingers in the fabric of his tunic. “I’ll tell you what I want,” she said. “I want you to put that gorgeous mouth between my legs and do something useful with it.”

He chuckled. “I suppose I could do that,” he said, and he abruptly picked her up. The next thing she knew, she was sitting on the desk in the study while Fenris slid her silky skirt up her thighs.

She panted eagerly and leaned her weight back on her palms. Fenris sat in the desk chair and traced his thumb over her cleft through the barrier of her smalls, and Rynne jolted and lifted her hips.

He shook his head and smiled — Maker’s balls, that smile, the curl of mirth on that perfectly sculpted mouth! — then brushed his knuckle between her legs. “Your smallclothes are soaked through. How long have you been thinking about this?”

“All day,” she said promptly.

He paused in his petting and looked up at her with wide eyes. “All day? Hawke, it is past midnight.”

“It’s been a long day, believe me,” she said wryly. “Will you lick me now with your lovely tongue?”

He tsked. “You and your endless compliments,” he drawled. He pushed her skirt a little higher and carefully pulled the crotch of her smalls to the side, and when his tongue flicked out to wet his lower lip, Rynne stared at his mouth with rising desperation.

She wiggled her hips on the desk. “Fenris, please…”

He didn’t reply; instead, he lowered his mouth between her legs. His lips sealed over her pussy and the flat of his tongue pressed against her clit, and Rynne dragged in a tremulous gasp of air.

Maker’s balls, fuck, his mouth on her pussy… This was what made her come undone. This was the thing that distracted her the most during the day and kept her mind thrumming at night. The feeling of his lips caressing the slick folds of her flesh, giving her a gentle sort of bliss that complemented the more intense pulse of pleasure that his tongue was fostering in the swollen little bud of her clit: this was something that Fenris’s mouth did exceedingly well.

He pushed her legs further apart and kissed her sex, and Rynne stared shamelessly at his handsome white-haired head as he smoothed his tongue along the length of her cleft up to her clit. He graced her with an open-mouthed kiss and swirled his tongue slowly over her clit, and she clenched her nails on the desk with a gasp.

“Fenris…” she mewled.

He hummed into her flesh, a growly sound of affirmation that thrummed through her body and straight into her blood, and Rynne curled her hips toward him with rising desperation. She was spiralling toward her rapture, spiralling higher and closer in time with the gentle motion of Fenris’s tongue as it teased its way around her swollen little bud, and despite her playful jokes from a moment ago, she truly couldn’t stop staring. Fenris’s elegant fingers were holding her legs apart, and his hair half-obscured his eyes without hiding the tantalizing sight of his mouth moving at the juncture of her thighs, and the sight of him — Maker, the look of him, the sound of his hungry breaths ghosting across her sex, the sheer tangible reality of this incredible man gracing her humble body with the perfection of his mouth: it was almost more than she could bear.

He caressed her thighs with his palms and lapped carefully at her clit and kissed her with his beautiful mouth, and a heart-pounding moment later, Rynne found her bliss. It fanned out through her body and rippled all the way down to her calves and her toes, and she gasped and bucked her hips and cried out his name. He gripped her hips and continued to kiss her, his tongue sliding over her sex in perfect time with the frantic pulsing in her core, and when the ecstatic crescendo of her pleasure began to wane, she slid her fingers through his snowy hair in a gentle caress.

He wiped his mouth on her thigh, then lifted his head to look at her, and another exquisite half-smile pulled at his lips. “Hawke, you’re staring again.”

She let out a breathless little laugh. “You can’t blame me. You just have such a talented mouth.”

He huffed in amusement, then stood up and cradled her neck in his palm. “As it turns out, I am not the only one here with a talented mouth.”

She grinned and reached for his belt. “Is that so?

“It is,” he said. He pressed his forehead gently to hers. “And you are not the only one who has been thinking about this all day.”

His voice was husky and tender, and her heart flipped happily in her chest. “You smooth talker,” she whispered, and she tilted her chin up to lure him into a kiss – yet another perfect kiss from the most gorgeous mouth in Thedas.

Rynne spent a lot of time thinking about Fenris’s mouth. She thought about its shape and the way it moved, the curve of his smile and the way it curled around his Tevene-accented speech. But there was one reason and one reason alone that Fenris’s mouth was so thoroughly preoccupying to Rynne Hawke: it was the mouth of the man she loved.

Fenris was the man she loved, and his mouth was the only one she would ever want to kiss again for the rest of her life.

#fenris #fenris smut #fenris fic #fenhawke #fenris/hawke #fenris x hawke #f!hawris #fhawris #fenrynne #fenris/femhawke #fenris x femhawke #fenris/f!hawke #fenris x f!hawke #pikapeppa writes

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somecunttookmyurl · 3 years

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I'm very curious about the research you mentioned concerning CYP2D6 metabolism. Could you post or DM the name of the study? Is your plan to inhibit CYP2D6 by taking CBD or an anti-histamine to increase the effectiveness of the anphetamine based ADHD meds you're taking? Seems like an interesting (and well researched) plan - I hope it works for you if that's what you're doing!

YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD. I’m gonna put this under a readmore so as to not bore the other 3,066 of you with weirdly specific pharmacology and pharmacogenetics talk Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, or a pharmacist, or any sort of medical professional at all. I have absolutely zero qualifications in pharmacology I’m just a nerd with half a psychology degree, a talent for study design, and shitty fucking doctors.

So I first learned about CYP26D metabolism (and the broader P450 cytochrome) in like 2017 from a friend doing a PhD in things much smarter than me. I’ve always been a Feral Drug Goblin (resistant if not immune to a lot of drugs) and she seemed to think that’s what was happening. Which tracks because like. 90% of the stuff that doesn’t work on me is a CYP2D6 substrate (the rest are CYP3A4 so I might have more than one defect, but if there’s something funky going on on 3A4 the effect is less pronounced)

Later discovered I have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS) and like... many if not most EDS sufferers have *at least* one P450 defect . Around 80% or so of people with chronic pain more generally have at least one P450 defect. It’s not something I’ve been tested for because a) even though CYP2D6 metabolism and its effect on drug treatment has been studied for like 30 years, the NHS only started introducing genomic testing for it in 2019 and b) getting a referral would require finding a doctor who knows what it is which, like, lmao. Honestly though we can be about 99% certain I’m an ultrarapid metaboliser, all things considered. Mostly I want a genomic test to see if any of the others are broken.

Now, I don’t know why it took me four years to think of it but over the weekend at 2:30am (I’m not allowed to have a thought during daylight hours actually) that like... logically speaking... if you gave a potent CYP2D6 inhibitor to an ultrarapid metaboliser it would normalise (or at least improve, depending on how many functional copies of the gene I’m dealing with like people have been found with thirteen copies) the metabolic function. Absolute galaxy brain moment.

Of course combining a CYP2D6 substrate and a CYP2D6 inhibitor generally carries a “moderately severe” interaction warning because if you’re alrealy, like, normal that could be dangerous. So I had a dig around to see if anybody had studied that specific thing and whether it was actually safe.

It took me... a pretty long time because this concept is massively understudied. I mean there’s 1001 studies on “does being an ultrarapid metaboliser of CYP2D6 affect [x substrate drug]” to the extent it’s like... yeah dude. The answer is yes. It’s always yes. I think we’ve proved this concept. Don’t think you need to do it for every single drug. We get it. There are a couple though. Both of the studies were only 5 participants, and were done 20 years ago (2000 and 2001) but in both cases all participants showed... honestly pretty amazingly positive responses and no ill effects. Which is why I’m so baffled that seemingly nobody has studied it since. Like “well, this went fantastically well! We shall never speak of it again” The first study gave the participants debrisoquine hydroxylation, which is the substance they use to test the function of CYP2D6 when they do the genomic test. So they weren’t on a CYP2D6 substrate already they were given it specifically for the study. Then they were given quinidine (an anti-arrhythmic which has sadly been disconintues) as an inhibitor. Without quinidine, the metabolic ratio of debrisoquine in the participants after 6 hours was 0.01 - 0.07. Which is, like, fuck all. With quinidine that amount was 12.6, 10.1, 9.2, 2.4, and 2.2. Participants had 3, 3, 4, 13, and 13 copies of the gene respectively so the more copies you have the less improvement you see, but < 0.1 to 2.2 is still huge https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2014903/ The second study in 2001, also 5 participants, administered nortriptyline as the substrate and then used paroxetine (an SSRI) as the inhibitor. After taking nortriptyline for a week, all participants had very low subtherapeutic levels of the drug in their systems. Following 2 weeks of treatment with paroxetine, 4/5 participants had normally-expected therapeutic levels of noritryptiline. The other participant withdrew after 1 week of paroxetine treatment after getting side effects from it but still had an increase in noritryptiline levels in that time so it was working he just didn’t tolerate paroxetine very well. https://sci-hub.se/https://ascpt.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1016/S0009-9236(01)78384-1

Those are, to my knowledge, the only studies done specifically to test whether you can normalise liver function using an inhibitor. There is a case study from 2006 of a 6 year old boy with ADHD who didn’t respond to drugs and was confirmed to be an ultrarapid metaboliser. The authors recommend usage of an inhibitor in such cases

https://sci-hub.se/https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Citation/2006/08000/An_ADHD_6_year_old_Child_Ultrarapid_Metabolizer.25.aspx

I can’t have paroxetine or fluoxetine because I have a bipolar-spectrum disorder and historically me and SSRIs are not friends. However buproprion (wellbutrin) is an inhibitor which I was prescribed before to counteract a side effect from atomoxetine and like I was definitely more functional at the time? But that was way before I had this genius plan, or knew it was an inhibitor, so. There’s been a supply issue here for it since July. So yeah. I’m going to be taking CBD. Amphetamines do absolutely fuck all by themselves so like literally my plan is “taking weed pills to try and make my liver talk to meth properly” which sounds absolutely ridiculous. Gonna be hilarious if it fuckin’ works. I’m going to be doing a proper study and writing it all up and everything. Emailed the researchers involved in the 3 studies to see if they’re interested in my data like 20 years later lmao but if you wanna read the study outline it’s here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TOnToHMH7UhYMFM9qtv-4ZWmaV7Pr6IQeYv6QDAGVrQ/edit?usp=sharing Just gonna keep going unti it either works, or the amount of CBD required becomes too expensive (which would be like 9 weeks max bc I can’t afford to be taking more than 60mg CBD every day forever).

#thepropervillain #bet you regret asking now huh

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dorkandstormy · 3 years

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So I was scrolling through Facebook and I saw this post that had a thread of therapy gems from people on twitter. I was reading them and a lot of them were things I knew already some I just learned and some that i felt but didn't recognize I knew. I came across one specific one though that I knew was really for me.

THIS! and I cannot stress enough THIS! I tried to explain this to someone one but it didn't come out as well as I had hoped.

I was physically abused before kindergarten. Like beatings abused. When we moved I ended up mentally abused by narcissistic family members. The self hate they projected as life lessons were very detrimental. I was alone in everything. Prey in my home and my own family. For what I used to think was my fault or sometimes what I knew was nothing. The biggest influence in my life was a broken self hating narcissistic compulsive liar a replica of the egg donor that abandoned me because she never wanted me to begin with.

Well, fast forward to middle school where I started to really find myself attracted to guys but knew I never planned on acting on it. Too self conscious from the bullying and abuse I dealt with at home. I make it to high school and I experienced a few sexual assaults which made those feelings so much worse. My best friend always made sure the men or boys that came around knew I was shy and a virgin and to stay away from me. It was the virgin word that made me more of a target though so when she thought she was helping she wasn't really. I made to 10th grade with just some gropings forced touchings and a few people shoving their tongues down my throat though serious not grand on the scale of sexual assaults. However, just when i thought I was gunna be ok the guy my best friend was talking to came to hang outside one night with her while I was there. I did my normal mind my business let me go somewhere else. I didn't get far it was dark outside and my best friend didn't want me to go far so we all just ended up leaning against the same car by his friend's apartment building door (which was in the same parking lot as my own). Anyways, they talked i went to a side where they weren't and did what I normally did, talk to myself to pass the time. The next thing I knew he was walking up to me with this look in his eye but there was this smile in his face. He didn't even say anything and the next thing I knew he was aggressively tryna to put his hand in my pants. I said no and I tried to move but he grabbed me. I tried to grab his hands and he in a swift movement had both of them in one hand still trying to get in my pants with the other hand. The look in his eyes is something I'll never forget. He enjoyed the fight. He was on a mission and he was gunna succeed. But then he didn't because my best friend jumped on him i got a hand loose and we fought him off. He went back to his friends house and we went to ab adult neighbor friend. Well, I didn't I sat outside and cried. I told 3 adults that day what happened. The male adult got really angry and set out like he was gunna do something. The two women held me and let me cry. Nothing happened to him. In fact my best friend kept dealing with him and he ender up trying to do the same thing to her except his nails breached her sweatpants but wasn't fully successful she got away. I had to look at him every day and every day he smiled that same smile at me. I was so afraid, but because of what I dealt with at home I didn't say anything so I just went about life. A few months later in drivers ed a guy I knew text me about how it was time for me to lose my virginity. I laughed it off but every day in class that was the text conversation. He tried to use charm but it was an aggressive charm. It triggered that feeling in me I felt against that car and I ended up submitting and letting him take it. I told myself that it was better than what happened before. What I didn't know was that boy was exactly like the female influence in my life.

It started off random sex meetings here and there. I lived my life he lived his. I made it to almost the end of 11th grade before I got kicked out. Went to job corps had other relationships and all that, but i was always uncomfortable and trying to find my own positive sexuality.

When I came back home that meant going back to what I knew. Who I lost my virginity to. Him and I messed around again except this time he was on some love shit. He would tell me he loved me but didn't want to be with me. He was in exclusive relationships multiple at a time with other people cheating on them the whole time all the while in my face telling me he loved me. We would argue because I tried to get him to understand that you can't if you do what you do. What I wasn't aware of what that he would tell people I was his best friend unless it was a male interested in me then it was oh we in love she loves me and blah blah blah.

Fast forward to a year and some change later. He raped me. I told someone at the time and I was laughed at like they didn't believe so I just kept it to myself and him and I went back to the way it was until I moved an hour away. I came back and it was back to business as usual. Then I moved across country and we didn't talk at all. Completely moved on from each other. I wasn't under his control anymore and my past traumas couldn't speak for me. When we did speak it was arguments and him trying to gaslight me some more. Every now and then he tries again and he fails miserably but it wasn't until recently that I realized that I dealt with him and his delusions of love because it was normal for me. The woman influence in my life impacted me that much that my love map was based on it. I dated men who were either too weak like my father or narcissists because of my aunt.

I spent this last decade trying to find what was wrong with me but it was those situations. I attracted what I was used to dealing with negatively. It wasn't me that did anything. Well, in retrospect I allowed these things and situations to happen because I believed what was being told to me. I know now through growth and a handful of positively triggering people that I don't want these people and situations. I still very much attract the same because I'm not fully healed but I don't engage.

Applying this feeling and plan to people i know is another story and definitely a work in progress 😩

If you made it to the bottom of this thanks for reading but thanks for letting me write it cause it feels good to write it down and let it out.

#healing #growth #mental health #facebook #shadow work

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thedreammweaver · 4 years

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The Best Things In Life Come In Two’s part 1 (Burton-schumacherverse riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Ed, yearning!Oswald)

part 2

(A/N: Didn’t mean for this to be more than one part but oops)

Oswald ran his hands through his hair anxiously, his head against his desk as he wracked his mind for a way to ask Ed out that might actually work. He’d already scrapped so many ideas, he was worried that Ed might not even want a partner considering the somewhat delicate situation he was in. Oswald just couldn’t suppress his want anymore.

It had been about six months since Ed had fallen pregnant for which Harvey was to blame. Harvey hadn’t wanted to break up with Ed but at the end of the day he couldn’t trust himself to be as caring as he wanted to be 100% of the time and being around Ed knowing it would never work just hurt. It had been painful but the two of them splitting a week after Ed found out about the pregnancy was for the best, they’d agreed that Harvey could be a part of the baby’s life on days where he was more in his right mind....those days were usually months apart though. Ed had already been out and proud about being trans so he didn’t exactly mind when the news spread due to Harvey’s inability to keep secrets, Ed hadn’t been very keen on the hassle of hiding the pregnancy anyways especially not when it made everyone be weirdly nice to him, even Batman. Who knew getting knocked up was such a great way to pull focus? Oswald had been paying particular attention though, he’d liked Ed before but of course couldn’t make a move while Ed was with Harvey, by now his want for Ed had become nearly unbearable as his need to caretake was playing a part to. The thought of Ed being alone especially with a baby in that teeny tiny apartment made Oswald ache to care for them both. It had been long enough since the breakup to try and do so, right?? Oswald knew he’d have to make his move carefully in order to convince Ed he was for real about this since a baby on board was usually cause for potential partners to run for the hills. He was getting tired and didn’t really want to pull an all nighter thinking up ways to woo the riddler, all he could hope for was a perfect plan coming to him in his dreams which was unlikely to happen.

Without a specific plan in mind, Oswald had decided to make his move after the next rogue meeting which was being held in joker’s lair this time. He couldn’t do it during since everyone fussing over Ed, whether consciously or not, was making it sort of impossible to get close to him. Maybe it was the fabled pregnancy glow that was causing everyone to be so overly concerned with Ed’s well-being but Oswald could see that the invasion of his personal space, no matter how well intentioned, was frustrating Ed as the overbearing pleasantness from the other rogues had started boring him by the second month. The frustration became especially apparent when Ed snapped at Jonathan and Jervis for both rushing over to help him up once the meeting was concluded, he liked attention but not being babied or treated like he was oh so fragile. Oswald waited a few moments after Ed stormed out to follow the taller man, making a conscious effort to respect his space.

Outside of Joker’s lair. Oswald found Ed sort of leaning against the wall, his hands rubbing at his temples, he looked stressed. Os didn’t approach completely still wanting to respect Ed’s personal bubble that so many had encroached on in the last hour and a half “Eddie-“

“Ask me if I’m alright and you’re dead.”

Oswald was a bit taken aback by the bite in Ed’s voice but quickly regained his composure. “Actually, I only wanted to speak with you ab-“

“Could I ask a favor of you, Ozzie?” Ed interrupted. Oswald would’ve done anything for Ed but knew the other man was tired of the fawning so Ozzie decided to talk to him as much like he would anyone else as he could manage “Depends on what that favor is.” Oswald said coolly. Ed huffed “I feel a headache coming on and my place is so stuffy...could I hang out at yours for a bit, I just really need somewhere to sit and breathe.” He sighed. The thought of Ed being uncomfortable or in pain made Ozzie’s urge to care for him flare up, he managed to keep the yearning inside for now “Hmm...I guess that’d be alright.” Ed sighed in relief as he stood up straight “You’re a life saver, my feathered friend.” He walked over to link arms with Ozzie. That made the shorter man’s heart race as they started walking to where Ozzie’s driver was parked.

Oswald turned away from the couch in his sitting room that Ed had settled on, working up the nerve to finally confess. “Eddie, I need to tell you something.”

“Oh?” Ed sounded a bit drowsy. Oswald cleared his throat “Well, the thing is...I-I like you..a lot and I want to be with you. I know that might sound insane considering...everything but I mean that with all my heart, Ed.. These past months all I’ve wanted to do is take care of you-“ Oswald was interrupted by the sound of snoring coming from behind him. Ed had drifted off just as the shorter man had started talking and hadn’t heard a word. Oswald sighed, half frustrated half amused. Ed’s hands were resting protectively over his baby bump in his sleep, he looked absolutely adorable. It made Oswald smile as he grabbed a throw blanket and gently covered Ed up with it.

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the penguin #the riddler #riddlebird

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eaffwesf · 3 years

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The next time you have to deal with the person

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mrsq8geek · 4 years

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Advice for an aspiring author hoping to write lgbt muslim characters?

Hi, thanks for your question! This is quite the rabbit hole, so I can't cover everything, but I did my best. Some general guidelines and then my own view:

1. Do not write this story unless it is from personal experience or with the direct express written permission from the person it’s based on, and I hesitate with that second one. Like many other experiences, this story hasn’t been told all that often, so unless you’re one of the above, you don’t have many points of reference and will probably get it wrong and, I suspect, as ‘exotic’.

That said:

2. Start by examining yourself. One of my favourite resources is @writingwithcolor, which has many great references for this. At this point, we're asking questions such as "Why do you not want to represent us?" and "Why do you need to tell this story right now?" among others. Do check it out.

3. Please, please don't write an apologetic acceptably assimilated model minority. I don't know where you're from, or where you intend to set the story, but we're all influenced by American media, so I feel it's important to mention. We generally don't have positive feelings towards those characters, let alone relating to them, at least not to the aspects where they're supposed to represent us.

(My personal pet peeve example is Abed Nadir from Community, a Muslim enamoured with Christmas and is an all-around Acceptable Arab... played by an Indian actor. It's extra irking because the show was touted as being Better Than Big Bang Theory, and it seemed okay addressing many other nuances, but when it came to this? Think of it this way: why didn't they cast an Asian actress to play Britta or Annie and called her white? Or, indeed, an Indian actress to play Shirley and called her black? Because clearly they believe the audience can't tell the difference? Arabs are black or white but not brown, guys. Not all Arabs are Muslims and vice versa. Some Muslims are (gasp!) white.)

Anyway, the point is Abed, and others like him, are non-threatening. They reject their own identity and are desperate to be Just Like Us Default White People. While this is definitely the case for some people, 1. it's not the case for most people, 2. it's just a really tired trope especially in current times, and 3. the other side of this trope’s coin is that in order to be acceptable for The West, they have to rebel against their character’s original identity, which is just as tired.

But I digress. You already know by asking this question that it’s controversial. Why not play it straight instead? Pun unintended. Do your research, whatever way you choose to go.

4. Speaking of doing your research, do. your. research! Muslims are a diverse group of about 2 billion people*. There are two major sects and many smaller ones. In the major ones, homosexuality (etc) is a sin, haram, full stop, end of sentence. Any level of presenting like the opposite gender is not only haram, it’s cursed. Yes, there are many people coming up with exceptions and loopholes, or just doing what they want regardless, and if you want to write about them, that's your prerogative, but:

* so Kamala Khan, for example, is completely unrelatable to me. (See: 9)

5. You know what else is considered haram in majority Islam? Extra-marital sex. Pork. Alcohol. Drugs, yes including cannabis, in fact even nutmeg. People do all that anyway! Especially in non-Muslim-majority countries where the laws don’t make it harder for them, or in poorer Muslim-majority countries where people don’t get educated in religious matters, or indeed all over everywhere because not all people of any religion actively practice that religion. It's a non-issue by this point.

5A. The only reason LGBT Muslims is An Issue, and it’s An Issue Now, is because America’s making it one. It’s no different than, say, modern white feminism. They stir the pot, we deal with the mess.

5B. Muslims are people, and people aren't perfect. We know this, and we've addressed it as nauseam… and that’s just it, we’re allowed* to talk about these things because we know ourselves and our experiences. It’s more acceptable coming from us to us because we have a common ground to start discussing things.

* I wrote allowed, but it really depends on the situation. Sometimes you’re not allowed simply because you don’t want to make it an issue, and that’s okay too.

5C. Since you’re asking, I’m assuming you’re not a Muslim yourself, and that puts a layer on scrutiny on you. We don’t know where to begin to talk to you, and it’s worse if you represent us in any controversial way or in any way less than perfect. Less than perfect by whose standards? It depends. Nobody knows! (See: 3)

5D. Examine yourself, research the topic, and know just what you’re trying to say.

6. That said, here’s my personal take on it that I’d love to see someone do, but haven’t so far. I don’t know how people arrive at their sexuality, whether it’s by nature or nurture, but they do end up there one way or another. When it comes to Islam, you’re highly encouraged to (heterosexually, to be clear) marry and reproduce. You’re discouraged from sex outside that framework. If you are unable to marry for whatever reason, you’re supposed to find a way to deal with it. Fasting is often recommended.

And the way I see it, finding yourself not being attracted to the opposite gender is just one reason to not marry. “So I NEVER get to have sex?” Yes, just like your straight brothers and sisters who realize they can never marry for their own reasons. Maybe their health prevents them. Maybe they have family depending on them, especially financially, and they realize can’t add a husband or wife into the mix. Maybe they’re incompatible with the person they wanted.

The West worships Romantic Love (also money, but that’s another thing), but it really isn’t everything in life*. Just see any post here on tumblr dot com discussing the different kinds of love the Romans acknowledged and wrote about extensively. Yes, it’s a powerful drive, but again, it’s not the only thing in life, and coming to that realization is its own journey.

* (Something something Harry Potter)

I am so, so sick and tired of characters who don’t practice their religion (“hi, I’m Muslim/Jewish/Christian/Hindu/Buddhist/whatever, but I will have that pork, that beef cheeseburger, whatever”*), and equally tired of characters who are the personification of their religion (“hi, I’m religious, hear me act out my stereotypes”). Don’t get me started on characters who exist just so the authors can bash that religion.

* a recent disappointing example was the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend. When Rebecca is first introduced, I was excited to learn the show was about a Jewish character, finally a religious character portrayed as practicing! But it was quickly revealed they were focusing on the cultural aspects, and not only is she non-practicing, she doesn’t even believe any god exists. Snore. In contrast, see: Shepherd Book from the show Firefly. Not just a practicing Christian, an actually interesting character in his own right. Not a perfect person by far, but someone who’s doing his utmost to live his life and still maintain his faith.

I want a Muslim character who finds themselves attracted to whomever, someone from the same gender or whatever you want, or feeling like they want to present as not their birth gender, and then proceeds to do what so many of us real-life Muslims do: find ways to deal with it and come to terms with it. Acknowledge it and make peace with it. Make the choice, the conscious decision, to remain faithful to their beliefs and maybe not pursue a romantic relationship with the other person… and instead interact with them like a human being they care about. Help them reach a goal or achieve a dream, keep them safe from harm, something. Maybe focus on the traits of the other gender that are accessible, or fight the toxic effects of the patriarchy, something. Writing like “a happy ending == they end up together”, and any and all other outcomes are Bad and Tragic and Void, is boring and unrealistic.

Just as a black woman being soft and feminine is a rebellion against the mainstream, a religious character sticking to their faith above all else is way more interesting than yet another character breaking the rules.

Addendums:

7. “But Islam is homophobic?” No, Islam has rules against intentionally engaging in specific behaviors. You’re not faulted for having low alcohol tolerance, you’re faulted for the act of consumption. You’re not faulted for being addicted to drugs, you’re faulted for making the decision to try it the first time, or if you were tricked into it, for not trying to get clean once you’re there. However! People, all people, hashtag not just Muslims, often try to enforce rules by creating fear and hatred around them. It’s a convenient societal shorthand, even if the consequences can be different than intended. It’s the same mechanism that leads to “abstinence = zero sex ed” in the US. Abstinence isn’t the issue, people trying to enforce it by making information around sex opaque are the ones causing problems.

So some Muslim people end up homophobic, and some Muslim people go all in the other direction, because the balance is delicate and difficult to find.

8. “LGBT stories aren’t just about sex, what about asexuals, transsexuals, etc?” True, but most LGBT stories tend to go in that direction, and I’m keeping it as broad as I can here.

9. Even if your character is Muslim but not Arab, it’s probably going to come up, in your research if not in your story. Although the most populous Muslim nation is Indonesia and the most famous “Muslim” terrorists are Afghani, the most prominent Muslim sites are in Saudi Arabia and Palestine. The branding is there. With that in mind, required reading is the film Reel Bad Arabs, and any primers you can find on Orientalism, Colonialism, and Imperialism.

***

Honourable mentions:

Check out the Saudi series Masameer by Myrkott on YouTube, many episodes have subtitles. They recently made a movie and it's on Netflix internationally! You can't escape American Imperialism any more than you can escape British Colonialism*, but we're all way past being enamoured by them. The Emirati series Freej is also in Youtube, sans subtitles, though the DVDs have them, and I’ll leave it at that. Hashtag quarantine let us catch up on shows? Stay safe, stay home.

* she said, in English.

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years

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people change {Vince Neil}

@champagneandspice asked: hey! I adore your writing!!! could u please do a one shot but in the form of an article ? you’d be writing it as if you worked for people magazine or something like that. could u pls write ab the “speculated rumors” ab vince and I dating are true?? u could insert pictures or whatever u like. thank u <3

A/N: 2065 words. I love!! This style!! Of Writing!! also probably not what you were asking for, but i had fun and i hope you do too. i really sort of like this world/reader persona i’ve built?? i even added a few pictures for effect lmao. hope it’s enjoyable. i don’t usually do tags for one-shots but @cosmicsskies and @crazylittlethingcalledobsession asked and im too giddy to refuse.

WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK? - Mötley Crüe singer Vince Neil and Joan Jett & The Blackhearts newest guitarist Y/N Y/L/N spotted getting cosy after Crüe’s Atlanta show last Saturday? Does this hint at a collaboration between two bands, or is this more personal than professional? [Read more on Page 10...]

“What the f*** do you think?”

If you’re a woman working in or around the rock and roll music scene in the past half a decade, you’ve probably heard these words, or some variation of them, if you’ve come within a ten foot radius of the glam metal juggernauts Mötley Crüe; Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Mick Mars, and their blonde, boyish singer Vince Neil. They’re crass by reputation, however this is unsurprisingly true to life, though if you were interested in reading an expose regarding the number of gigs they’ve done while high, or how many hotel rooms they’ve set fire to, there’s innumerable gossip rags and magazines covering those particular scandals, including at least two Rolling Stone articles in the past two years, and we’re not here to retell old stories.

When attending their concert in Atlanta last week, which I highly recommend; if given the opportunity, and you enjoy their music, see Mötley Crüe live, they give an almost unparalleled live performance, in my humble opinion as a music journalist of almost a decade, I was fortunately privy to the moment that sparked debate and controversy within the rock music gossip sphere. After the show, while I was made to wait at the stage door, their manager Doc Mcghee was kind enough to invite me to the afterparty. There, at the stage door, restless fans were held at bay, young men in black leather pants, emulating their idols, young women in barely anything at all, there to catch attention and garner the same invitation that I had received, and when the band themselves appear, it’s as if the gates of Hell had opened; the screaming I heard, ladies and gentleman.

First through the doors is Mars, already looking like he needs a shot or a nap, and he dodges more than one bra thrown his way, giving me a longsuffering look as he passes. To be that exhausted by fame is on a level I can’t even begin to comprehend. He’s on the tour bus which will take us to the hotel bar for drinks almost before anyone else is even out of the building.

Next comes what the fans have affectionately dubbed ‘The Terror Twins’, Sixx and Lee, both carrying a beer each, followed by several very pretty women who head to the bus whilst the musicians take the time to say high to their fans, signing various body parts and generally taking the time to interact with the more hardcore of their following who were waiting in the cold night air. They’re enough of a distraction that one might have missed the final band member, Vince Neil, laying uncharacteristically low, and who had actually been preceded by a surprising figure; Y/N Y/L/N, the most recent addition to Joan Jett & The Blackhearts as their rhythm guitarist.

And this, dear readers, is the moment I decide to write the first gossip piece of my life.

As someone who regularly set fire to the copies of Hollywood Star my then-housemate had been getting delivered to our apartment back when I first began my journalistic career, the idea of writing an article based on speculation about the sexual conduct of celebrities was an idea I rejected out of hand. I’d told myself I had integrity.

But then my proto-punk loving heart betrayed me, as I recalled Y/L/N’s lyrics from my favourite song of her’s, Sucker Punch, ‘speculate / scream my name / my heart, my love, baby it’s a game / they call me heartless, fancy-free / as if anyone’s meant something to a girl like me’. Y/L/N has been credited as the sole writer for the single, under her band at the time, Nuclear Patricide, who had garnered a cult following that has been credited as an idol for Joan Jett herself. After the Nuclear Patricide’s split in early ‘83, it’s been relative radio silence from the writer and lead guitarist until Joan Jett & The Blackhearts announce her as their newest addition, and she’s been with them for almost two years since.

[ID: Stills from Nuclear Patricide’s music video for Sucker Punch, 1980, known for the appearance of then-break out star Jamie Lee-Curtis. Editor’s Note: Y/L/N did not appear in the music video herself.]

So, upon seeing Y/L/N trying to keep a low profile whilst exiting a gig she clearly was not playing at, without any of her own bandmates to keep her company, I must confess I began to wonder, to speculate about the nature of her relationship with Mötley Crüe. She’s adamantly and publicly denounced romantic relationships in her work and in her public appearances up until her split from her original band, so has anything changed in the past few years?

Back at the hotel, I find myself weaving in amongst groupies and fanboys. My dark jeans and leather jacket act as a camouflage in this den of debauchery; I’ve worn professional clothing to this kind of thing before, and it usually doesn’t go over well; if the band sees a reporter there’s a sense of immediate hostility in what’s meant to be a safe space, relatively speaking, however, I’ve found that blending in, and making it clear I’m not on the offensive makes them drop their guard enough that they’ll give an honest interview.

At least until a pretty girl walks past.

Neil and Y/L/N are nowhere to be spotted as I finally take a seat with a table that has neither cocaine nor a woman on it, and once I’ve ordered a drink and looked over my notes, someone actually joins me of their own accord. It’s Tommy Lee, who, to my surprise, recognises me from the last time Crüe had played in town.

He talks about the tour, about how exciting it’s been and how he loves Atlanta, but he’s losing focus very quickly, not surprisingly since his name is being called by other tables every few moments, and there’s a faint dusting of telltale white powder around his nose. He promises ‘see you ‘round’ [sic] and then he’s off again. However, it’s as he leaves that I spot Y/N coming from a room by the back of the bar, and I make my move.

Mars has, as I’ve been told, already retired for the night, Lee is up to his eyes in cocaine, Sixx already has his dick out under his table judging by the look of him, and Neil is surprisingly MIA, so Y/L/N is easy to spot as the odd one out.

Not nearly as f***ed up or strung out as the rest of them, I watch her order a jack and coke, and down the drink mere moments after receiving it, before she turns to me. It takes her barely a second before she correctly identifies me as a reporter. I ask if she remembers meeting me, back in ‘82, she says no, but that she can pick a reporter from a mile away.

People still fawn over her, pretty girls and pretty boys alike, her aloofness drawing them in, and I’d forgotten how overwhelming it was to be this close to her. She kicks a fanboy and a groupie who are messily groping each other out of a booth and we take their seats.

This is meant to be about Mötley Crüe, and I try to tell her as such, but she just gives me a thin smile.

“Then why did you come find me?”

And she gives me that stare, you know, the one from the cover of Nuclear Patricide’s final album, Treason Is A Girl’s Best Friend. It’s that piercing stare of hers that makes you feel like she knows everything you’ve ever done wrong in your life.

I ask about her relationship with Mötley Crüe, and to my relief she looks away.

She’s candid about admitting she’s travelling with them, but not touring, right up until I ask her about her relationship with each member of the band specifically.

“Mick’s fun; he’s very talented and easily riled up. They’re all very talented of course, but Mick’s dynamic, [because] of his age and everything, is interesting within the group [sic] and I enjoy watching it all play out. He’s smacked Tommy a few times.” I’m assured that nine times out of ten he deserved it.

She’s filled with glowing praise for both Sixx and Lee in turn, and even Doc Mcghee, but Neil she is oddly silent about. He’s the first of the band she’d met; he’d seen her play a few times with The Blackhearts and has admitted to enjoying her work in previous interviews when she’s been brought up, as the pair have been spotted together before. Well, she’s been spotted with the band before. Here is where she starts, to my surprise, to get antsy. So the rumours, which I had thought to be incredibly false given her history and general attitude, have more basis than she likes to let on.

And then she gets defensive.

He’s like cocaine; everyone’s doing him, it’s just the industry; no-one’s going to judge her for a fling. She does not appear to take comfort in the sentiment.

“People change.”

I ask her what she means. She refuses to clarify and leaves. Perhaps I pushed too far, but now I feel like a detective, and like I only have one more person I need to talk to. But perhaps I should have eased myself into talking about Y/L/N to Vince himself, but I’ll have to admit, between Y/L/N leaving and finding Neil, I may have done a bit of socialising with Sixx, which I recommend recreationally, and also if you have a high tolerance for most things.

“I don’t think we’re any of your f***ing business.”

Neil does not mess around, and apparently she’d already spoken to him about our earlier meeting. I leave it be, spend the night enjoying the festivities with Sixx and Lee when I can, leaving just before the sun comes up.

Some of you may be thinking this is dissatisfying, that you came into this article wanting me to confirm or dismiss the speculated relationship between Vince Neil and Y/N Y/L/N, but I can’t. Neither of them would speak to me, and I can only leave you with a list of things I saw that night, and you can make up your own mind.

- The room Y/L/N had exited from when I first spotted her is the same room Neil left less than five minutes later as we were talking. I went to investigate later; it’s a supply closet.

- After my encounter with Neil, and I’d stayed clear of them, whenever I would spot either of them, the other was almost always within arm’s reach. Make of that what you will.

- He definitely did a line of coke off her thigh at about three in the morning.

- I asked both Sixx and Lee about it. Lee’s response was ‘loud’ with something akin to a knowing smirk, and Sixx’s was ‘he’s a lucky bastard’ and when I ask him to clarify he just says ‘flexible’ and climbs to the next booth over where they’ve been asking him to do a line; I’m not even sure what to make of it, but personally I think it’s pretty damning.

- Readers, they were all over each other, I apologise for throwing my professionalism out the window for a moment, but if I’m being honest I couldn’t look to a secluded corner of the room without there being a 40% chance of seeing Vince and Y/N. It got worse as the night went on. Believe me.

So, while I don’t believe there is set to be a collaboration between Joan Jett and Mötley Crüe, I do come baring good news for those fans who had been speculating regarding Y/L/N’s relationship with the hair metal band’s lead singer. So are they together? Are they dating? Though neither party will publicly state anything, I’ll leave you with my thoughts, my observations, and the oft spoke words of the man himself;

What the f*** do you think?

#vince neil #vince neil x reader #vince neil imagine #motley crue #the dirt #the dirt imagine #motley crue imagine #nikki sixx #tommy lee #mick mars #the angry lizard writes

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walkineternity · 5 years

Text

Day 3: Delirium

(The Umbrella Academy x Sandman)

Klaus knew he was in trouble.

He had overdosed again. He tried to stay clean, for Ben and Vanya, for his other siblings, and for Dave. He so very much wanted to see Dave.

But. He tried, okay. Tried so very fucking hard, and everyone was so focussed on Vanya that his efforts weren’t exactly…supported. Ben, of course, knew. And Klaus was grateful to have him. And he didn’t really blame everyone for not paying attention to him. They never really did that in the first place, unless he was causing trouble. And this time, it was because Vanya had nearly ended the world and he got that. He really did. He was trying to be there for them.

But. He was an addict, okay. He can admit that. And…it was so hard to stay clean. He was so fucking high right now. He was so fucking sick right now. And Ben was yelling at him again.

“Fuck! I can’t do this again, Klaus! You were doing so well! Fuck! I can’t even pick up the phone to call the ambulance can I! No! You are going to die in this alleyway and then I’m going to have nobody to talk to and, and, and you can’t leave me alone! Please, Klaus, please! Shit, okay, I’m going to try and get help, okay? I’m going to try.”

Klaus felt himself drift. Ben was still talking, but then suddenly everything was quiet. He didn’t really get how he could still hear Ben with all the drugs in his system, but the other spirits had quieted down. And now, finally, Ben was gone too. He was going to die alone. Like he fucking deserved. His eyes shut, closing over tears that never fell and let the fog take him…

Next thing he knew there was something licking his face. Okay, still alive. Still dying. Probably. He opened his eyes.

Well. Where was he? This wasn’t the alleyway anymore. Maybe he wasn’t dying and he was already dead. But this wasn’t heaven. This was…he wasn’t sure. There were explosions of colours and shapes twisting in and out of existence and he felt simultaneously the highest he’s ever been and stone cold sober. He felt like he was awake and dreaming at the same time.

And in the midst of all this madness, there was a rather ordinary looking dog, who was licking his face.

“Well, hey there, boy. You wouldn’t happen to know the way back to reality now, would you?”

He didn’t know what to expect at this point. And yet it still startled him when the dog stopped licking his face and spoke back. “Ah. You’re awake. Good. You don’t taste very good.”

Klaus frowned. “Actually, I’m a snack. A delicious- wait. I’m…awake.” He sits up and looks around. Nothing was solid. There was no up and no down and he had no clue what he was sitting on because reality kept changing. Okay, he was definitely going crazy. “I don’t think I’m awake.”

“Hm. Well. In a manner of speaking. And in another, you’re dead.”

“Huh.”

“You don’t sound surprised.”

“Well, I’ve been dead before. And really, I was asking for it anyways.”

The dog tilted its head, considering him, “I should be more specific. You’re only mostly dead, this time. This isn’t Death’s realm, but her sister’s.”

“…mostly dead? What am I? The man in black now?” Klaus hadn’t seen the movie until his teens, when he was homeless and couch-surfing. Or rather bed-surfing. And old lover had the movie on VHS.

“I don’t know what that means.” The dog huffed and then said, “I’m Barnabas, by the way. Not that you asked.”

“Aw, what an adorable name!” Klaus tried to pet him, but Barnabas looked mildly offended and ducked his head away. He looked like he was about to say something snippy when a bunch of brightly coloured fish swam past his head. Klaus had been trying to ignore his surroundings for the sake of his own sanity, but this caught his attention.

And then the…strangest voice followed after. “Ohhh, fishies! Come back here! …Hi, Barnabas!” He couldn’t really describe it. He could understand it, and for the most part it sounded like a young women’s voice, but something was distinctly…otherworldly. The voice sounded how this world looked. Chaotic, ever-changing, pitches and stresses in all the wrong places. It would have been called musical, if it wasn’t so discordant.

And then a figure stepped out of the swirls of colours and then he realised that nothing was ever going to make sense in here. She was colourful herself. Rainbow hair cut in an odd style. Two different coloured eyes and the oddest combination of clothes.

Though, honestly, he couldn’t say anything about his clothes. Currently, he was sporting the same outfit he wore in the real world and, frankly, wasn’t to off from this figure’s choice of clothes.

Well, at least they had something in common. “Nice shoes,” he tries.

The woman (girl? Young lady?) was talking to the dog and the fish, but turned to him at the sound of his voice. She drifted closer and peered down at him.

“Well, hello there, traveler. You seem a little lost.”

Klaus shrugged. She giggled. “Welllll, I suppose that’s, uh, that’s what you call life, now, isn’t it? Just a little bit lost and a lot bit lost! Go-ing on Forever!”

Barnabas came a bit closer to her, to sit beside her, not quite touching, but close. Like he meant to offer her comfort. She absentmindedly scratched his ears, but still didn’t look away from Klaus. Oh, was he supposed to offer a reply?

“Well, I’m hoping that’s not the case. I’ve been trying, lately, you see, to settle down a bit. Stay clean and, y’know, be there for my family. Try to…have a home, a proper one.” His voice grew more unsure as he continued to speak.

She was staring at him as he spoke, but not in his eyes. Just looking there briefly and then looking at his shirt and then his hair. Listening, but just couldn’t keep completely still. As she did, her nail polish changed colour and her ears changed shape and the rainbow in her hair shifted. This whole place was topsy-turvy. Strange how a talking dog named Barnabas was the sanest thing in here.

She looked back up briefly into his eyes and then down at her feet. “It’s Nice to do things for fa-mi-ly. I have many Siblings too. I like to help them sometimes. You said I have nice shoes. Would you like to wear them? We can trade!”

“Um.” Klaus wasn’t really sure what to say. “I don’t think our feet are the same size?”

She frowned. “Oh, what does that matter? Its just for fuunnn. C’mon!” And she proceeded to take off her shoes. Which, were just as colourful as her hair. Rainbow boots that had really neat buckles shaped like the fish that swam around their heads.

His were a solid black heel, stolen from Allison. They pinched his toes, not being the proper size, but they made his legs look gorgeous.

Allison probably wasn’t going to be happy to learn her shoes were traded away, but then again, she probably wasn’t going to be happy with him either way. If he ever made it back, that is.

He decided he should probably say all that out loud, and then he did, because they really weren’t his shoes, but the girl in front of him just sat down to better take of her shoes. “Oh, you’ll get out of Here eventu-ally. I like you, but you’re not mine to keep.” She finally managed to pull off both her boots. She was wearing mismatched socks, but those seemed to vanish. “And your family is just worried about you. If your sssister is mad, it’s only because she cares. You should ask them for help.”

He shrugged and easily kicked off his own shoes, accidently kicking it too close to Barnabas. The dog just looked long-suffering.

“They just think I’m useless and crazy. Well, maybe not Ben, but I’m not exactly doing my best there, y’know? He deserves to follow someone else around. Someone who won’t disappoint him again.”

The girl hummed. “They say I’m crazzzzy too. But that’s alright. Mad-ness isn’t always a Bad thing….it helps when I know too much. Sometimes its nice to have a break from san-i-ty.” Here she started to slip on the heels and gestured at the boots, so Klaus grabbed one and put it on, stamping a little to get his heel in. Huh. Perfect fit. She continued, “And just because I’m mad, doesn’t mean my siblings don’t care about me. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about them. We aallll make mistakes, even Beings such as us, even little ones such as you, and we…oh, shoot, Barnabas! What’s the word? The- the Big one.”

She glanced around as if the word she was looking for would suddenly appear. “You know. When the butterflies are iiiinn your body instead of outside them. Like stepping off the edge of a cliff, but knowing there is Someone to catch you, or for you to catch them.”

Barnabas opened his mouth to say something, but she snapped her fingers (which made Klaus do a doubletake when the snap sound created visual shockwaves of colour, like they were in some sort of comic book), and then said, “Oh! Love! It’s lo-ve. We all love each other the same. They loved me when I was Delight, and they still love me as Delirium. I mean, look at Bar-na-bas!” She gestured with a heel in her hand. The dog sat a little straighter. “He was a gift to me from one of my bro-thers, to care and look afterrr me, and we’ve become such good friends! Destruction cares in his own way, and I know your siblings do too. You just got-ta….gotta ask, okay?”

Barnabas smiled slightly. It looked a bit weird on a dog, but it seemed gentle. “I think we are the very best friends, my dear Delirium.”

She put the other heel on and bounced up onto them, smiling at them both, at the world around them, at the tiny fish swimming above her head. The black of the heels swirled with spots of colour, but mostly stayed the same.

Klaus finished doing up the buckles on both shoes and stood up too. He reached a hand up and the fish swam through his fingers and around his arm. The rainbow shoes felt warm and comfortable on his feet. He felt a bit giddy. He gave her a big grin and said, “Yeah. Okay. Sure. If I ever manage to get out of here, I’ll ask. Why not!”

She gave him a grin in return. To match. Though hers stretched a little too far on her face. Still friendly, but not exactly a human smile. Her eyes changed colours too, but never the same colours at the same time. A fish swam in front of her face and this distracted her from him.

“Well, how do I get out of here anyways? Not that I don’t mind your company, I should be getting back to the real world.”

She looked back at him and seemed to startle a little bit. “Ohhhh, what were we talking about?”

He blinked and looked at her and then looked at Barnabas, who said to her, in a reassuring manner, “It wasn’t important. Klaus was leaving soon anyways.”

“Hm. My he-ad hurts. Was I talking Rightly again? That always Hurts.”

“Yes, Delirium, but you don’t have to anymore. Why don’t we help Klaus go home and then play with the fish?”

Klaus frowned at Barnabas in confusion. Delirium laughed joyfully and said, “Well, hell yeah! There’s only a few swimming around, buuuut I can make more!” She proceeded to spin around and do exactly that.

Barnabas sidled closer to Klaus and said, “She does that, sometimes.”

“What? Forgets?”

“No. Remembers. The advice she gave you? How coherent she spoke? Does not happen often. You should take heed. The knowledge she has…is vast. So vast that it seems to…hurt her. Now, it’s time for you to go.” He didn’t say this roughly, but there was a sadness when he spoke.

“Thanks,” Klaus said, heartfelt. “And thank her for me, too, even if she doesn’t remember.”

Delirium wandered back over with a great many more fish swimming around, some bigger than others. Some so small he could barely see in the swirl of colours and shapes. “Oh yes! You!” She tapped him firmly on the forehead and said, “Say the magic words!”

“Um, please-”

“Wrong, so wrong. Try again.” And here she clicked her new heels three times.

Klaus couldn’t help it. He laughed. He saw that movie too. And then he copied her action and said the “magic” words, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no pla-”

And then he was in an ambulance, the paramedic’s expression triumphant and relieved. Ben, hovering over him on the other side, looked similar.

“Klaus, don’t ever do that to me again. You are so lucky there was this goth lady around. Apparently, you aren’t the only one that can speak to the dead. She was pretty Zen about the whole thing. Said it wasn’t your time and managed to find a nearby payphone. She didn’t even ask why I couldn’t call the ambulance myself!”

Ben sounded a bit hysterical. The paramedic seemed to be chattering away as he checked Klaus’ vitals. Klaus felt himself tearing up. He could still feel the drugs in his system. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I can’t do this-”

“C’mon, Klaus! I know you’re stronger- what about Dave-”

“No, shit, Ben, just- I can’t do this alone, okay? I-I really need. I need help. I want to stay clean. Please. I just- please. I can’t do this alone.”

The paramedic wasn’t paying attention to his babble, too focussed on actually keeping him alive, but Ben was listening intently. He tried to lay his hand on Klaus’ shoulder, but his hand passed through. Klaus shivered. Ben looked disappointed, but not surprised. He settled for leaning over, close to Klaus’ face, and said, “Never, Klaus. I’m here, okay. And the others…we’ll ask for help from them too. We’re all trying to be a family, right? And….and whatever you need.”

Klaus felt tears in his eyes and with a rough voice he said, “Thank you, Ben. I always knew you were my favourite brother.”

Ben rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged the corner of his lips. “Oh, please. I’ll remember that next time you say that to any of our other siblings.”

“Why would Allison or Vanya be my favourite brother?”

“Fuck off, you know what I meant.” Okay, definitely a smile now.

And then Ben happened to glance at his feet. “Klaus, where the hell did you get those?”

Klaus looked at his feet and saw that he wasn’t wearing Allison’s heels, but rainbow boots. Huh. So not a drug-induced dream.

“Klaus?”

“I’ve been thinking, Ben.”

“Oh no. I didn’t know you could do that.” He gestured at the boots. “Are you not going to answer?”

Klaus ignored him and stared at the boots. “I’ve been wondering if they might allow aquariums in rehab.”

Ben stared at him a little. But he was also long used to Klaus saying weird stuff. “Well. If we manage to use some of dad’s fortune for rehab, they’ll allow us as many fish as we want. If…if that’s what you wanted the aquarium for.”

It was…so fucking nice to hear Ben using “us” and “we” like that. He knew Ben was stuck with him, but it felt…. like he wasn’t alone. That Ben meant it. That he was going to have help this time, from the whole family. And if they used dear old dad’s money…well. That would be icing on the cake. Petty? Yes. Deserved, even beyond the grave? Hell yes. He’s glad that he didn’t have another visit from him. He doesn’t think he could stand anymore revelations or disappointment from him. He’d take a bizarre realm of multi-coloured girls and fish and talking dogs any day.

Though, he really didn’t want to go back any time soon. Being mostly dead was exhausting.

“Yeah, Ben, fish. Lots of colourful fish.” His voice sounded further away, like hearing himself through a long tunnel. Klaus could feel his eyes droop closed.

Ben laughed softly. “Anything you need, Klaus. Have some nice dreams for me, will you?” Klaus’ eyes were closed, but for a flash, he thought he saw someone above him. He couldn’t see features, just a strange helmet and black robes. A pale hand sprinkled shining dust onto him. Onto his closed eyes. And then the figure was gone.

And he swore, right before he drifted off to sleep, that he felt Ben’s hand on his shoulder. But then again, it could have just been his imagination.

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aspiestvmusings · 5 years

Text

THE MASKED SINGER: SEASON 2 [SPOILERS]: MY THOUGHTS & GUESSES

I was gonna do a full guesses post for the shows second season, but then I realized... I might be on to something (because I guessed 50% of the first double-episodes masks) & I don’t wanna ruin it for so many, so I am only giving my HINTS of the my guesses, not the names or anything. But still...

SPOILER WARNING!

I didn’t watch during S1, but I saw the clips over summer & have watched the first few shows this season...

During the first week I knew one of the reveals. The other I did not know, because I'm “old” & am just not familair with current young generation idols and stars... And the more I think about my guesses (I did just google each of my guesses..fast, and many things I read match with the character clues I suspect they play on this show, so...)

CHARACTERS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER

1. The Black Widow = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else...besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. I’m torn between two ladies - R. & A. ETA on Oct 17th: After tonight’s ep clues it’s basically conformed - that’s miss R.

2. The Butterfly = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. ETA: After the Oct 17th episode it’s pretty much confirmed that it’s miss M. (the singer, not the actress)

3. The Eagle = HAVE NOT HEARD HIM PERFORM YET, but based on the outfit & first clues it is a big “rock” star from the “past”. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. ETA: Well, this one was pure character play - he was the “weakest link” of the episode. Not a singer. He was the one unmasked. It was... SPOILER. And since I’m not from US, he’s one of the stars I did not know & hence would’ve never guessed.

4. The Flamingo = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. ETA on Oct 17th: After tonight’s ep clues it’s basically conformed - that’s miss A.

5. The Flower = HAVE NOT HEARD HER PERFORM YET, but based on the clues it can only be one person. An actress. The clues that reveal it’s her are: There are a dozen (read: 12) reasons...; She blossoms in every field she plants herself in. Also...the number 314 was seen at one point (which in this case is not P = 3.14, but stands for something other). These three clues alone tell us who she is. Miss M. The doctorate clue also points to her. But... then there are clues & things that say the opposite. EDIT: And after seeing & hearing her... I’m torn...cause now it seems that it’s someone “legendary”, cause of that voice! ETA: It was miss P.L.

6. The Fox = The clues strongly suggest this is one of the Marvel superheroes. Since I haven’t heard him perform yet, I cannot be sure who. But based on the looks (his posture, movement...), and the clues so far it sounds most like Mr. J. EDIT: But... after hearing him it sounds more like mr. W (who I originally considered for Thingamajic) - he worked with actors, who were hinted at the clue section. Yet... I still think that despite what he sounds like it actually is someone, who plays a superhero on TV/in films, and I’m still leaning towards MCU actor. But I have to re-listen to make a better guess. Cause the clues suggest different MCU actors than I initially thought based on the previews... Yet it could also be someone else, who has been in film industry.... But based on the voice it’s most likely mr. W.

7. The Ladybug = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. It does sound a lot like miss K. based on the voice, and the clues, though. ETA: Yes, it was K.O.

8. The Leopard = The clues point to several possibilities, but based on the voice alone..my first guess (and so far only guess based on that voice) is Mr. S. Most clues also fit him. A few clues don’t fit that well, but his voice to me sounded most similar to the man known by the artist name different than the one he’s portraying. And all the lines mentioned by/about him on stage were direct references/quotes/titles of his hit songs etc. The other clues hint more towards a stage presence of a more colourful persona though, so other peoples guesses that it’s B. or R. or R. or J. or D. are good, too. I’m just unfamiliar with some of their voices, so cannot agree/disagree. Based on his behaviour I’d say it’s mr. J. The personality seems more like J. (a known “prankster” with amazing voice & talent), or R. (he’s worn leopard print outfits that made into headlines, he’s British, has had hits...only thing is that to me the voice doesn’t match the characters...though great singers can mask their voices, too...).

The clues: British Elizabethan dress/costume; the “British accent”, the newspaper headlines in the clues segment: Crazy game ends with win for the Leopard + Out of Hits & Out of Time + The Runaway; adaptable & can survive anywhwhere - even under harsh conditions; knows what it’s like to be at the top; has had many hit songs (he’s been a heavy hitter); “scandals” & “celebrity culture” - people/fans more interested in the celebrity aspect & rumours etc... than in his music/talent; he really doesn’t care what they about what he’s wearing...or about his relationships; clock hand on number 9; J’adore; “Don’t stop”; DIVINE: "Leopards can be fierce, and yer so divine”; playing with the hosts/Nick's tux/suit; Kiss(ed by) from a Leopard; “from the jungle”; “piercing green eyes”; ready for the spotlight; “ready to move mountains”; “spectacular performances”; "The Secret Service”; “Spotted with the presidents”

ETA on Oct 17th: After tonight’s ep clues it’s confirmed - that’s mr. S. Almost no chance it could be anyone else... Oh, darling...that gave you away. And even though several clues fit also mr. T.D., the song title references to me confirm my first guess.

9. The Penguin = I HAVE NOT HEARD HER PERFORM YET

10. The Rottweiler = The voice and several clues say it’s well known singer Mr. C. (who lost to miss K.M.), but the clues are also very fitting to a singing actor Mr. S. (who co-starred opposite the same miss K.M. on a certain show)…but though I know he has a great singing voice, based on many things I’m currently leaning towards my first guess. Both fit several of the clues..in several ways, though! All the (fantasy) football, abs/six pack (and most likely coming clues that claim he’s a comic book fan & supports his wife...publicly, is a proud + great father)... clues fit both of them - these two men have quite a lot in common. Both are also born in the same year & both had/have a big birthday this year. The voice seems so much like the singers, and the clues fit so well (everything from the football to roses to the “beauty salon setting” and the LIVE fit this great voice, who has had hits on radio). At the same time almost all clues & much more suggest it’s the actor with a good voice (whose old band had the word dog in it, whose been in a boy band, whose done musical theatre, and who might have found bigger fame on tv/film, but to those who know him... he’s always been a great singer & performer, he’s even been in a band that was a “warm up act” for N’Sync tour once. He’s a multi-talent, who studied to be a structural engineer... and even though he was working on one big project this summer, I do think he would’ve had time to also do this).

For me the greatness of the voice + the hair salon and one specific line in the clues suggest it’s the singer & the on-stage-presence and backwards hat suggests the actor. Everything else fits both! So it all depends on if the chose the “hip hop” look as a disguise...cause the singer is not known as hiphop artist, or if the hip outfit is more his style...which would mean it’s the actor. If I’d figure out the dog’s (that’s god backwards) height, I’d know which of the two he is, because one of them is 172cm and the other 182cm & the taller one is also buff-ier (he’s all muscles!..and the dog seems quite small under the costume) - The Rottweiler seems to be about the same height as the host Nick (he is 183cm) - their shoulders seem to be about the same height, so this would tip the scales to the actor. But after a re-watch it now seems to me the dog is shorter than the host, so that confirms the singer. Even the fact that they’ve always had the lead roles (on screen, in bands...), but they’ve also both lost to someone else...is similar. If they’d include numbers as clues, then number 5 would suggest the singer & number 425 the actor. If the blue roses symbolise a tattoo, its the singer, if the blue & purple symbolise something else (HD), its the singer...

Only thing I can’t directly connect to either of the two is the gold chain... That seems to suggest at the third option... or maybe it was added just to make the two parts of the costume blend in better together...not be so obvious) But then I’ve also heard some great guesses from others & though I am unfamiliar with Mr. B.W.’s voice, several (dog) clues fit him, too. He’s done music with canine titles, and he’s talented + he’s also known to wear gold. Plus I am also kinda suspecting (based on the great voice) that it might be a certain Canadian even though I cannot fit most clues to him... But in my minds if it’s not one of the two I suspect, I will be very surprised. It would also be a great and fun “promotional” trick, if the dog would be the spider-kid T.H., who is the voice of a dog in an upcoming film (he even posted a pic of his charcater with the same words the dog used “This dog’s bark is just as good as his bite”. But it cannot be either him or his screen-dad mr. R.D.J, cause while they both match the height, they dont match the voice or the clues. Based on the costume choice it’d be the funniest if it was one of the (hiphop) artists, who use a canine name: Snoop Doggy Dog, Pitbull... but the voice and clues match others better.

The clues: The hair salon/beauty salon style setting; the vinyl record with the title/name LIVE playing; “grooming” shaving the dogs “body hair”; “touched the pigs skin under the friday night lights” (pigs skin = football) = Friday Night (Lights); preparation is key; blue roses; (being a) hungry competitor; rising to fame (by being a competitor)... almost overnight; Fantasy (Football) Champion (ring); was bitten by a dog/rottweiler as a kid; “it’s not over”; gold chain around his neck; the big (golden) wrist watch; (golden) bowtie; the (backwards) baseball hat; the fashionable look and the sneakers; “this pretty pup’s got chops”; “take a bite out of this competition”; just “wait and see”; “get up on our high lanes”; “he’s there to be the best in show and his bark is just as big as his bite”; he’s a total perfectionist; “he’s gonna work his tail out to earn your puppy love”; the fashionable hip-hop look of the costume; roses are blue - violets are red (a poem by Patrick Star?), “rockin’ a furry 6-pack”, = the six-pack! (abs)

If the next clues say that he has strong arms it’s the actor, if they say that he wanted to become the iNext Michael, but didn’t..it’s the singer. Either way...all eyes are on the Rottweiler... ;) And since the height & the song clues pretty much confirm it’s the singer....the song choice makes sense, too. He has actually performed with Hall & Oates. I’ve heard him sing “Out of Touch” with the band/duo. So, while I still wish it could be the actor... there are clues that pretty much confirm it is the singer... the height alone does that. Yet... the dog is holding the mic in his left hand... and I’ve only ever seen the singer hold the mic in his right, when he performs, but the actor switches hands (ambidextrous while holding the mic), so... I really need to hear and see some more to solve this mystery, cause I keep going back & forth... ETA: It is mr. C.D.

....

11. The Skeleton = If this is not some known comedian/host/comedic actor, I will be surprised. Based on the voice alone I can’t really guess. Based on the stage presence the character reminds me of Mr. M.’s character on a certain streaming services show, - there was/is a storyline about him doing musical theatre, and this stage presence + voice to me looks so much like that characters stage presence. Only thing throwing me off is that though that actor is also shorter & older, it doesn’t really seem to be him (the appearance). But… actors can be good at disguising themselves… Also..the clues apparently fit him… so well! I do not read gossip magazines (usually), but I just googled him to see this latest projects, etc...like I did with all the names that I suspect are hiding behind the masks...to check the facts for this post) and the headlines about him this year match the skeleton’s clues…quite well, so now I'm not sure. But I still think its someone a bit younger than mr. M.).

12. The Thingamajic = The stage presence screams tall athlete (basketball/baseball player). The clues give us a possible birthday and from the people born on that day who can sing (read: who I am aware of that can sing) Mr. V. fits most of the clues + what can be seen & heard. It could be some other tall athlete, or non-athlete. Like mr. J (who has played a character, who was a huge Chewbacca & SW fan), who is tall...though I remember his natural voice being different. But..since the show likes to trick us, I’d say that the person inside the costume is not as tall as the outfit suggest, so I would guess more based on the voice than by the height alone. So.. it could also be Mr. W., who is not 7 feet tall, but whose voice (to me) seems very similar to this characters (many clues fit him extremely well). For me its either V. or W. ETA: It is mr. V.O:

The clues: The height (7 feet tall with the costume); backstage dressing room style outfit closet; plaid/tartan shirts; karaoke style subtitles during the clue segment; rhyming text during the clue segment; puzzling/puzzles; gentle giant, feather (feathery kind of gentle giant); portfolio case with wings; a magic case (magic ticks); keep up the pace; triangles; old school style microphone stand; loves to sing...but isn’t necessarily known as a singer; silhouettes of people & palm trees...; he’s more than fashion shoots and dreams; sneakers; “walk the line” - rope walking; magnifying glass, number 4 (on a cupcake), colourful glasses frames, dressed in plaid, rip/tear in the costume on the “thigh”, his eyes are actually at the height where the costumes mouth is. He’s ALL the things we see (in the clue package & more), “I’m easy like a Sunday morning", ON AIR 31-33-41-43, in need of a dentist, he’s kind of a big deal, “welcome to my kingdom”, his puzzling persona, he’s literally unlike anything like you’ve ever seen or heard before, He’s not Chewbacca...though they do celebrate together. ETA on Oct 17th: After tonights ep clues it’s conformed - that’s mr. V.

13. The Tree = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. I wish it was an actress, who also sings - miss Z. She’s done Christmas films/music... but that voice is not really hers, so...

EXTRA: If I am correct in guessing their identities, then two of the male singers behind the masks have worked together on a special musical project in 2016.

ALREADY BEEN REVEALED

1. The Egg = Johnny Weir (He was the only one I guessed based on the clues + his on stage performance & presence + voice)

2. The Ice Cream = Tyler “Ninja” Blevins (The kids may start to know the popular names amongst todays next generation, but I am “old”, so his name & persona were completely unknown to me)

3. The Panda = Laila Ali (I should’ve known based on the letter the baby panda wrote to her daddy panda, but I didn’t guess immediately & decided to watch the reveal right away… not giving myself time to guess some more)

4. The Eagle = Dr. Drew Pinsky (radio host)

5. The Skeleton = Mr. SPOILER

NOTE: I am new to this show, but since I love music, and I love puzzles, I have decided to follow this season. And since i did’t watch last year (just watched clips etc later...), and am unaware of how things are done on the show, but... based on the two shows I’ve now seen... it kinda seems to me that they are hiding clues about the contestants in other contestants parts. Like... if we’d use last season as an example... they’d say “this person has felt PAIN... a lot” for someone else than the Monster character. Or “he’s a KNIGHT in shining armor”...for someone else than the Bee character. I just had this strange sensation when listening to/watching the clues that the things they alluded to weren’t always about the character whose segment was on.

Also: I do not think the comments that the “judges” say are pointless. I do think that they’ve chosen very carefully which ones to keep. Like I think that “I don’t think its an actor on a tv show” is meaningless. The little, seemingly random lines often seem to me actually like clues.

For those, who are familiar with showbiz and people in showbiz the show is/should be really easy. The voices + the clues combined make it too easy... but none of us are familiar with every “celebrity”, which is why not all masked singers are guessed correctly. But yeah, I would say that the clues are often too easy. Like...if the Flower, Fox, Leopard, Rottweiler turn out to be who I think they are... they are still making it too easy. They are literally telling you who it is. Including song titles/words and film/show titles and/or character names, or sports team names...literally... in the dialogue/voiceovers....

But...the thing is that some of the clues are actual helpful clues, and some seem to have been added as “red herrings” - to muddy the waters, and make it more confusing. Also... many of them do seem to mask their voices & not reveal their real voice right away, so that is also a distraction method... making it harder to guess.

So... this is all for show, because there is no way the “judges” don’t recognize some of the voices & think of certain people as possible options for specific characters. This year it’s specifically means that there’s no way they did not hear & consider certain singer being the leopard...as the voice just sounds like his...even if its an act (someone is mimicking him). So this alone tells me that the panel is putting on a show - they’re directed to not say the right name right away..if they know/guess it... to keep the suspense longer. And/Or the show is edited so that if someone guesses some character too fast...that part is cut out..and/or saved for later (they do add audio from the panel...at times...when they’re actually showing the artist, so it also seems to me as some editing has been going on... to mix different moments...)

#SPOILER #THE MASKED SINGER #TMS SPOILERS #TMS SEASON 2 #TMS #long post #list post #text post #SPOILERS #MASKED SINGER

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goingthroughalot · 5 years

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Week 5 goingthroughalOT of ups and downs!

You win some and you’ll lose some, Things will go right and wrong, sometimes just when you think you’ve nailed you’ll realise that you’ve ruined it and then when you think you’ve reached rock bottom, something will come out of it. That’s exactly what intervention planning and this block has taught me. I was successful in my previous physical block, so I expected this block to be a breeze however, I tend to forget that in order to know what success is, I have to know what difficulty is as well.

That’s exactly what this week’s session with my SCI client taught me. This was the 3rd and final session of a gardening as a leisure activity. During this session, my client was able to independently complete the activity and managed to reach the centre of the flower pot without an assistive device. My client was completing the necessary movements to improve trunk control whilst maintain upper limb muscle strength and I was able to handle the session in the role of a Supervisor OT. My client was safe and was aware of the necessary precautions and I was satisfied with my therapeutic handling and the overall success from the client being independent in an activity that he enjoyed so much premorbidly whilst improving client factors. As this was my clients third session, I had incorporated the necessary grading which aided in the flow of my activity and was also realistic for my client to complete independently. According to me, this activity has been a success from an intervention point of view as I was able to meet my secondary aims and provide my client with a constructive use of time. During the conclusion of my activity and sessions, I asked my client how often he would do gardening as he was able to do so independently, and it was something that he has been wanting to do and my client responded indicating that this wasn’t his garden and there wasn’t any point in him doing something that he loved in a place that wasn’t his. I was taken aback by this response as the client commented positively regarding how much he enjoyed this activity during the first two sessions and did not require the usual persuasion to initiate the activity. This was a difficulty for me as a student therapist and rather confusing as well because even after attempting to reason with my client about how he was a member of this facility and the required resources were available, but client still wasn’t convinced. This was a difficulty, but I do not see it as a failure as I was still able to improve client factors and I am aware that my client is experiencing psychosocial problems that are affecting my client’s mood and causing my client to display depressive sessions and I will therefore review this session again after a week.

My personal successes throughout fieldwork and intervention thus far have been the ability to implement treatment principles and being able to improve on my Activity Session Write Ups which I found difficult at the beginning of the semester. Being able to develop a rapport with my clients and overcome the language barrier is the initial and imperative step towards successful intervention. I feel like my clinical reasoning as well as my understanding on AFRs and approaches and how they guide treatment have improved significantly but still require further development. With regards to difficulties, I am still getting the hang of subprograms, but I think that this skill will develop with practice. With regards to intervention, I still view transfers as being difficult even though I understand the technique and have been successful in transferring my client. Muscle Tone is still a frenemy as I expect drastic results from influencing tone when using NDT techniques and I still require further practice to refine my skills in this area. Adapting to prac being twice a week and time management are also difficulties that I continue to face as well as negotiating with my clients to participate in sessions on a Wednesday as they have an aerobics class which they thoroughly enjoy. My previous group session had many hiccups as this was my first physical group and I am still not completely confident in my ability to facilitate groups as I find it difficult to select an activity that will provide therapeutic benefit to clients across a range of diagnoses, this is however a skill that I insist on improving during the rest of this block. The success that I have achieved on this block so far assures me that I am learning and being able to identify my difficulties enable me to pay attention to those specific areas and I am therefore grateful for this learning opportunity.

These past few days and especially due to the academic program being terminated for a few days which caused a setback, OT has been difficult to cope with. I happened to be in the OT department on Monday when a craft workshop was taking place and what I saw was magical – more magical than any fairy-tale or classic that I’ve grown up on. I witnessed elderly ladies hosting each craft station and assisting clients, clients aiding other clients regardless of their function, a quadriplegic who had such talent and used her mouth to duplicate a picture from a magazine and ladies making bracelets for each other. There was chatter and a vibe that was palpable and, in that moment, I realised how grateful I am for being a part of this profession that allows me to engage in meaningful activities whilst enabling others to engage in meaningful activities and to me this is what success is. Also, anybody who has had any encounter with me since Monday has had to hear about this!

Until next week for midterms, Z!

References

Edmans , J. (2010). Occupational Therapy and Stroke . (Second edition ed.). Susex : John Wiley and sons

Tandfonlinecom. (2019, ). Client-centred practice in occupational therapy: Critical reflections. [Weblog]. Retrieved 23 February 2019, from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3109/11038128.2012.752032

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ngoziigbedioh-blog · 5 years

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Learning and teaching Portfolio

Artis workshop:

Artis is a Creative learning charity that has helped to integrate the arts through learning in schools for more than 15 years. Artis believes in transforming the power of performing arts in order to change lives and they also want society to recognize that the arts can enrich people's lives. Artis has worked on creating a physical curriculum through the art of performing. They do this by creating a creative environment which helps to improve speaking and listening skills and also build a young person's confidence and self-esteem. Artis employs highly qualified specialists that teach a range of art forms such as drama, music, musical theatre, dance and physical theatre and find imaginative ways to introduce art to young people within schools.

Throughout the day of working with Artis, they talked about ways to work holistically within a school setting, different strategies that would help young people to get involve, and they also had practical classes that taught various ways of teaching. One of the first classes I was involved in worked on a warm up and also focused on ways to be creative by pretending to be a superhero. I think this was a great way to start off a session because it was fun and would allow a young child to be as creative as possible when trying to think of superhero poses. In addition to this it was a great way to start because it was easy for people to understand what to do, which would also allow young children to become comfortable doing a practical class. Another task that was done within the class was creating still images of objects or animals that the specialist called out. This helped to introduce group work into the learning environment, which in turn lead to everyone in the room becoming more creative in order to create a still image that other groups would not think of. One teaching method that I liked during this session was that the teacher used a shaker that was shaped like an egg to get everyone to settle down before explaining a task. This was a useful teaching method because young people respond well to sound and it would help to preserve a calm creative space for everyone.

Another workshop that I took part in was soundpainting. This is universal multidisciplinary language that is composed of sign language and gestures that can be used for musicians, actors, dancers and visual artists. Soundpainting uses more than 1500 gestures, which helps the performer to know what the sound painter would like them to do. The composer or director that is known as the sound painter would stand in front of the performers and use a series of hand or body gestures that depicted a specific thing that the sound painter would want. At the start of this session, everyone stood in a circle so that everyone would be involved and be able to see what the teacher was demonstration. This was another good teaching method because it makes sure that everyone feels involved and no one would feel left out in the session. Whilst everyone was stood in the circle the teacher explained what sound painting is and also demonstrated a few basic gestures that we would all copy and explained what they meant, which was very helpful as I did not know what soundpainting was before the session. This demonstration lead to the teacher then creating a phrase of gestures for the whole class to perform. This was another helpful task because it allowed me to gain more knowledge on the different gestures that was taught by the Artis teacher. As everyone had gained more knowledge on the gestures, the teacher gave us each a chance to create a phrase for the whole class to perform, which I though was a very useful teaching method as it would help people to gain confidence in what they had just learnt. As the whole class was doing well with the gestures that was taught, the teacher taught more gestures that would help to create phrases that were a little bit more difficult in smaller groups. I thought that this was a good method to use because it allowed me to gain more confidence as I was able to practice the gestures on a smaller group and learn how to be both the soundpainter and the performer. Overall, I think this session showed me a good method to use as a way to build more difficult tasks for a group of young people. A

The next session that was done with Artis was a theoretical class on working in schools. This class taught methods that can be used in a classroom setting such as praising a child and even creating a fun and interesting way for children to get ready for a creative session. Throughout this class different teaching props were used that could interest a child such as a bad that had a toy mouse inside of it. This mouse was a way of showing that the class, a group of children or even one single child was doing very well throughout the class and the teacher has noticed how well they have been cooperating in the session. I liked this teaching method because it was a different form of praise that would help to build a child's confidence and, in the process, help the rest of the class to work harder in order to get praise for what they have done. Another method I learnt in this theory session was a creative way that would get children to take their shoes off by using their imagination and pretending that their cars were shoes. As the specialist was explaining this, she demonstrated the way she would use this method, which was a very interesting method for me because I had never seen anyone use this method before. This session gave me a variety of teaching methods that would be fun for young people and help them to use their creativity more.

Wessex Dance Academy:

Wessex dance academy is a Hampshire county council run dance academy that provides a contemporary dance programme for young people all around Hampshire who are not in any type of education or employed. Wessex dance works with young people between the ages of 15-25 who may not be in education as they have been excluded or refuse to go to school. In addition to this, they work with young children who are in care and who have also left the care system. The young people who are involved in Wessex dance academy are usually referred by schools, the council or even social workers as the programme aims to re-engage young people with education, stop the young people from reoffending and lastly try to improve their health. Wessex dance offers a 12-week programme, which runs for five days a week. This helps to create a daily routine for the cohorts and also helps to gain determination and commitment to Wessex dance academy. Within those 12 weeks, the cohorts work on increasing their self-esteem through the tasks provided and help to build positive relationships with each other by working on creating three pieces of contemporary choreography. At the end of the cohorts time there, they would receive an open college network qualification.

After arriving at Wessex dance, Hannah, who is one of the teachers explained the house rules. The first house rule stated that no socks or shoes were allowed in the dance studio. I believe this was a good rule because it teaches the cohort about basic safety inside of a dance studio and makes sure that no one will be injured. The next rule given was no water inside of the dance studio. This rule again makes sure that everyone is safety conscious whilst in the creative space. Another rule in Wessex dance academy was no phones allowed out until after lunch time. This rule was enforced in order to make the cohort focus in the class and not be distracted by the outside world. The teachers made sure the cohorts followed this rule by taking away their phones and other possessions that may distract them and only give them back to the cohort after eating their lunch until the start of the next session before taking them back in. The last house rule of Wessex dance academy was that the cohorts were not allowed to leave the building, as it makes sure that they are safe and the everyone knows where they are at all times. These rules were strictly followed by every cohort, which I believed was a valuable teaching method because it allowed the cohorts to enforce discipline on themselves and focus on what they were going to be learning in each session of the day.

The first session of the day was made for warming up and included a spine exercise, abs exercise, foot exercise, plie exercise, twist exercise, running exercise, floor exercise and various other warm ups for the cohort. These exercises included basic material as many of the cohorts have never danced, and because of this the exercises always stayed the same, which allowed them to have a morning routine that they would remember. Whilst completing their warm up in the morning, the cohorts and the teachers would have a one-minute silence where everyone would stand still in silence. This helped them to prepare for the day by focusing their minds and body, which I believe to be a useful teaching method because it is a simple way of getting young people to focus for the tasks ahead. During my time at Wessex dance academy, they used a lot of colourful props as it created an engaged learning environment for the cohort and got them involved in tasks that would help them to use all of the information that was given to them. For example, the teachers created big flashcards for cohort 22 to figure out the definitions for different choreographic devices. This was a good teaching method because they were able to match each definition up by themselves and have the teachers explain to them what each definition means. After these definitions were matched up, the cohorts went into pairs that were assigned to them and made a phrase of movement using the definitions that were given to them. Throughout the two days that I took part in Wessex dance, the teachers used eye catching props that were effective and worked well with the cohorts as they were able to remember the different devices, actions and dynamics that they had focused on during the sessions. At the end of both days the cohorts would have a theoretical session that would recap what they had learnt in their sessions, which was a good way to make sure that they have learnt the different ways they could choreography their own work.

At Wessex dance academy, they used the unique teaching method of team teaching, which is where a group of teachers all take turns teaching the cohorts in the class. This was done so that there would be a change of voice as the day goes on, which makes sure that the cohorts did not get bored listening to the same voice all of the time. I think that this teaching method is efficient because it helps to keep young people interested and able to gain knowledge from more than one teacher. Additionally, when it was another teachers turn to lead a warm up or session, the others would join in with the rest of the class. This is another effective method because no one is left out and it helps the young people to see that everyone has to join in with the exercise.

Behaviour Management:

Behaviour management is a way to change or even motivate an individual to exhibit positive behaviour whilst in the classroom, which would help to create a productive environment. This can be done through positive reinforcements such as praising a child for work they have done and even making sure the young person acknowledges that the work they have done is good, and they should continue creating good work. After taking a part in different practical workshops, I have seen man behaviour techniques used, for example, in Wessex dance company, if one of the cohorts were disrupting the class, the teacher would calmly let them know that the whole class will wait for them to stop being a distraction in order to move on with the class. This was an effective technique as the cohorts behaviour improved after calmly being talked to instead of having someone shout at them.

There are a large variety of behaviour management techniques that can be used by teachers in a learning environment and these techniques can be learnt through Dr Bill Rogers who is a teacher education consultant. Bill Rogers works within schools in areas of effective teaching, behaviour and stress management and lastly colleague support and teacher welfare. One of the techniques advised by Dr Rogers is to not word sentences in the form of a question when teaching, which allows a young person to hear what is being expected of them instead of only hear what they are being asked to do. In addition, he believes that using positive cueing's when talking to a young person helps the class to understand that not everyone is in trouble, and it is only a group of people who are not looking at and listening to the teacher. The next teaching method that would be effective in a school setting is giving descriptive and directional cues. This method allows young people to understand what action they are doing to disrupt the class and what the teacher would like the young person to do after they stop distracting the class. Using descriptive and directional cues also helps to keep a calm and positive learning environment.

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sincerely-miss-x-blog-blog · 5 years

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Why the Immigration Issue is Actually a Racial Issue

It’s your average American Thanksgiving dinner, everyone gathers around the table to enjoy turkey, stuffing, and in-depth discussions about the value of human life. No, this isn’t a family of philosophers talking about moral theory; this is 2018, and the issue of immigration is at the forefront of our news, politics, and occasionally religion. Inevitably, it bleeds over into our daily conversations. But what do these conversations look like? Oftentimes, in my own conservative family, its laden with remarks about job-stealing and how we need to be working to support our own citizens first.

So I raise my first question. What group(s) come to mind during this discussion? Is it our large influx of Russian women coming to have their children in America, so their children can be American citizens? Perhaps is it the large Irish immigrant population in Boston? The reality is, you probably haven’t even heard of these immigrants. Why? Because they fit into the racial status of ‘white’. As explained by Ruth Frankenberg in her essay “Whiteness as an ‘Unmarked’ Cultural Category”, being white is the default assumption in our white dominated culture. Anything outside of ‘white’ is deemed as ‘otherness’ and often referred to as ‘cultural’. Those Boston immigrants are able to participate in what is known as the Great American Melting Pot, and can assimilate into the ideal “white” culture that has been dominating this country since its inception. This idea is also discussed in Frankenberg’s essay, when she states the whiteness as a cultural category only serves to mark everyone else’s differences from ‘the norm’. To understand why our perception of immigrant is a Mexican or South American and not someone of European origins, we have to look at who portrays the images of immigrants to us.

News sources are where a large part of the population get their information about what is happening, both at a local and a global level. News papers and other primarily written sources are falling out of favor, and are being replaced by TV, images, and videos of reporting. And these images often do not show the Russian women, all at the end stages of pregnancy, coming to America to guarantee their children’s citizenship.

Instead, images of worn immigrants traveling through dire conditions are shown. Our news sources focus specifically on these immigrants because of their race. It creates controversial and striking news that people want to consume and hear more about. Unfortunately in a white dominated society, it’s not of anyone particular interest to hear about more white people coming. It is hearing about the “brown people” coming from countries that have always been portrayed in our media as unstable and underdeveloped. Our citizens question the ability of immigrants to assimilate, and in what ways the country can benefit from them coming.

Sadly, it is not just our media that views this as a racial issue. Our lawmakers have worked hard to make it clear that they are targeting specific groups, and intentionally leaving others out.

Initially, it looked like the United States would be a country that would offer a helping hand to those in need. This was seen through the implementation of the Refugee Act of 1980. However, as pointed out by David Haines in his essay, “Safe Haven In America?...”, America was not reaching out to help people seeking asylum, they were simply passively allowing those in who could be beneficial to the U.S. workforce.

The Sensenbrenner bill was designed specifically to target Mexican and South American immigrants. It was not focused on immigrants from other racial and cultural backgrounds. This is because of specific regulations about border crossings and border security, and criminalizing those types of civil violations.

Some may argue that the reason we focus so heavily on these immigrants is because they are a majority of who is coming into this country. However, that is not the case. However, a study done in 2014 shows that Hispanic immigrants make up only about 35% of the foreign born population. Asian immigrants are in the U.S. at close to double that rate, and there is not a system specifically designed to target that demographic.

With all this data and understanding of how diverse our total immigration population is, how can we say that the way the media portrays this issue and how we understand it is not through a racially charged lens. The true issue is not that we have people who are wanting to become U.S. citizens or wanting that privilege for their children; it is that some of these groups do not fit neatly into our white dominated society.

Frankenberg, Ruth. “Whiteness as an ‘Unmarked’ Cultural Category.” The Meaning of Difference, 7th ed., McGraw-Hill Education, 2016, pp. 101-106.

Haines, David W. “Safe Haven In America? Thirty Years after the Refugee Act of 1980.” The Meaning of Difference, 7th ed., McGraw-Hill Education, 2016, pp. 395-398.

https://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/video/growing-number-of-russians-are-coming-to-the-u-s-to-give-birth-1133247555963

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/birth-tourism-brings-russian-baby-boom-miami-n836121

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1SQJL_enUS777US777&biw=1536&bih=754&ei=obkCXLH2CNX8jwTGiJLACw&q=drug+cartel+movies+&oq=drug+cartel+movies+&gs_l=psy-ab.3..35i39j0l9.791.1672..2119...0.0..0.212.656.5j0j1......0....1..gws-wiz.......0i71.4JEa3dSc71M

http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/03/09/u-s-immigrant-population-projected-to-rise-even-as-share-falls-among-hispanics-asians/

http://www.ncsl.org/research/immigration/summary-of-the-sensenbrenner-immigration-bill.aspx

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