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thankskenpenders · 5 months

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Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.

First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.

Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.

The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...

I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.

The why

I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.

Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.

But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)

The what, how, and when

So here's the plan.

Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.

After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.

I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.

I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.

So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?

#tkp post

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partywithponies · 29 days

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I watched @quinton-reviews 's new video and I wanted to do my set homework and come up with my own dream Nicktoons Unite team, except I never had any of the american channels growing up and I'm not familiar with a lot of these shows.

But nevermind, I came up with a compromise. Here's my concept for if they did a Nicktoon Unite style game but with CBBC and CBeebies characters:

1) Danger Mouse: reboot DM in particular is the obvious pick to replace Jimmy Neutron in this lineup. He's already dealt with cross-universe travel and portals in canon, and he has Professor Squawkencluck, who already just invents whatever device the plot requires. He's both practised enough at saving the world to be believable in these situations, while still being incompetent enough to need help from the others. Plus it'd be fun to see how his massive ego would react to these other guys.

2) Victor from The Secret Show: the most niche pick here, but come on. He's literally a secret agent. I'm not going to leave him out. (I dithered over whether to include Victor or Anita since I could only pick one. I chose Victor not because I'm sexist but because I just really want to hear Danger Mouse deliver the "Victor! Are you still alive?" line.)

3) Postman Pat: Now I know this looks like an insane choice. I know that making a postman fight baddies in life or death situations is ludicrous. But listen. Postman Pat: The Movie did it first. Blame them, not me.

4) Dennis The Menace: People who've never read The Beano might think that an un-superpowered 10 year old boy would be way out of his depth on a team with three adult men, two of whom literally fight evil for their job. But people who have read The Beano know that in canon Dennis has already thwarted alien invasions, travelled through time many times and dealth with the ramifications of changing the past AND avoided being beheaded, fought killer robots and man eating plants and sea monsters, toppled multiple dictatorships, got the British prime minister arrested, and fought climate change by going directly to the source and tearing down the factories. Whatever these games could possibly throw at him would be just another tuesday for Dennis.

5) Tiny Clanger: she's kind of the Spongebob of the group, both in the sense that high stakes situations and saving the world are really not what she usually does, but she would if she had to, and in the sense that she'd be the heart of the group. DM, Victor, and Dennis are all kind of self-centred assholes at heart who only save the world because no-one else will, and Pat is a middle aged British man (and therefore emotionally repressed), while Tiny Clanger is unfailingly loving, and kind, and friendly, and empathetic. Also her best friend in the world is a large metal bird, and I think Tiny suddenly riding around on the Iron Chicken would be a really cool power up for her.

#quinton reviews #cbbc #cbeebies

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somebodytolove31 · 2 months

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This is honestly my favorite video on the "nickelodeon sitcom saga" alongside the two last Sam & Cat ones, I'm honestly surprised people keep talking about Quinton Reviews as if he's just the sitcom guy, not only because he has other videos but also because even in his sitcom videos he goes so beyond just sitcoms or videogames, none of his videos are pointless, they all have genuine discussions to be had.

I'm a bit biased because I have seen this series from the start and it has been a source of comfort for the past few years, but come on guys.

#quinton reviews

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some-murmurings · 29 days

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i'm happy that video essays are a popular format on youtube now. i've loved the genre for years and, with care, it's a reliable source of accessible education.

that said, the popularity of video essays on youtube makes me feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears. it is so easy to immediately tell when an author has no actual investment in the genre and sees it merely as a vehicle for #Content™️©️®️

There are three basic qualities I see suffering the most for this

1. Length

I see so many of these newer channels pumping out 8 hour pieces that are closer to exhaustive book reports then they are tight, well written examinations of something and, while I LOVE the diversity inherent to the video essay format, this is a terrible way to explore a topic. It's boring, lame, and extremely profitable.

Quinton Reviews is a good example; I like his work occasionally, his recent thing on Dan Schneider was genuinely pretty good. It did still suffer from the resulting pacing sickness from overloading on information and underloading on composition & organization. Wendigoon is an even better example. Most "iceberg" style vids also are (not u jan misali. never u.)

Also, there's no defined rule for the length of a video essay. They can be 5 minutes long or 5 hours, flash fiction or a full-bodied thesis. Shots of tequila or a whole bottle of wine can both get you drunk.

2. Pacing

Obviously related to length but this is another problem; video essayists have always struggled with this and it got worse recently anyways.

A lot of that "information overload" is to blame. It's important that, when researching, YOU come to a strong, nuanced understanding of a topic through disparate sources. It is, by nature of the format and genre, an extremely bad idea to try and make your audience learn the information the same way.

We don't need a thousand sources spread across several dozen sentences, we want the 3-4 (max) best sources on a given subtopic concisely synthesized into a coherent idea.

Use music, jokes and relevant graphics to make this information as engaging and interpretable as possible without sacrificing accuracy. It's okay to abridge and note that you were, in fact, abridging. We don't need to know every detail about every single thing loosely related to the topic.

Dan Olson from "Folding Ideas" is a good example of this. His script writing and camera work does an extremely good job of creating effective flow with an appropriate amount of detail & nuance. So, pacing, basically.

3. Topic

U can tell some of these jamokes don't give a fuck or shit about the thing they're discussing. Worse still when it's some inane internet drama they're recounting like its "news."

To be clear: the best video essays are OFTEN on topics you have no previous interest in. Roblox_oof.wav by HBomberguy is an easy example. This shit is a complete mess thematically but, because the author engages deeply and effectively with the topic, it literally doesn't matter. It's an insanely good video you should spend all 2 & 1/2 hours in rn. Go. Watch it.

Nor is internet drama a bad topic to cover. You're allowed, encouraged really, to discuss the weird bullshit people do to each other but like... this is closer to a soap opera than it is a national news headline. Looking at you, "Turkey Tom" or whatever the fuck your name is.

There's something to be said, too, for how quick people are to make an essay about a still moving situation. I know the algorithm is an insatiable maw of content hunger but, counterpoint, ONLY MAKE A VIDEO WHEN YOU CAN ACTUALLY DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED. If there's reasonable suspicion stuff isn't done, SHUT THE FUCK UP. It's okay if you misjudge a timeline here or there, you're allowed to admit fault and correct yourself, but, like, cmon.

Also something to be said about how quick so many essayists have ALWAYS been to talk about someone else's business without permission, particularly intimate partner violence.

4. Style/Presentation

Video essays are an extremely novel format, particularly for education, so there's a genuine debt of easy-to-adopt styles. And, because of the recent growth, there are a lot of new people entering the space with very little experience in it.

That said, the next time I hear that fucking "influencer cadence" I'm gonna EXPLODE. You know the one, they slow down towards the end of a sentence to lend "gravitas" and overarticulate every. single. word. to, idk, build credibility?

It's shallow and obnoxious and I hate it. Nothing makes me skip a video faster than a boring intro & a predictable cadence. Be honest about the way you speak. If you struggle to create rhythm & flow with your voice, use music! Seriously, music sampling is a super valid method, most indie artists would be JAZZED to have their stuff in parts of their video. A lot of orchestral stuff is in the public domain, especially a lot of famous "classical" works. Put Beethoven's 5th in your video about potato farming in russia, God might not be real and if she is she'd ALSO think it's funny.

Another problem: predictable cuts & generally uninspired editing. I know editing is a pain in the ass but, like, it IS still a creative process. You do have space to do interesting stuff here and, if you can't focus for that long, literally just make a shorter video.

It's okay if 95% of your transitions are purely functional, the trick is to make those 5% REALLY silly to keep your audience on their toes.

5. Tone

You don't need to be "an authority" on a topic to make a good essay about it. It helps but, as long as you're clear & honest about the limits of your understanding and you've done your due diligence, you almost certainly will be fine to talk about anything you want.

If you want to build credibility quickly, consider starting with disambiguation instead of dry recitation. Dates matter less to me than actually understanding a topic better. Even better if you come across like another autistic person infodumping about whales or w/e.

I'd keep going but my phone's gonna die. U get the gist. Lots of format problems that algorithm-brain is exacerbating.

#youtube #video essay #hbomberguy #still hate tagging posts

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wisteriasymphony · 1 month

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The LuckyBug Miracle Team Sucks - TWEOS AU Analysis

(4 individuals who don't work for their miraculous, and 1 person that does)

Just to start off, yes, I am analyzing my own work. Nobody really has the same depth of information on this other than me, after all. I want to get more into these sorts of things, because I like to organize my thinking behind the choices I make in this fic, and maybe even draw people into my work as well!

Lucky Lucky Ladybug - Viperius - CARA.PACE - Renared - Chat Noir

These are the five main holders of the LuckyBug Team before CN quits at the start of TWEOS. We're going to be talking about why most of them suck at their job (but mostly why Lucky chose terrible miraculouses for her peers), starting from worst to best synergy.

Viperius - Snake of Intuition

The ideal holder of the Snake Miraculous is someone who is level-headed, wise, and capable.

Luka Marcel Couffaine is the exact opposite of all of these things.

In TWEOS, Luka Couffaine is as far removed from empathy as humanly possible, making him a terrible superhero in general, much less one with a power as important as interrupting the flow of time. Luka never goes out of his way to explore his abilities, rarely involves himself in battle unless forced to, and put more thought into giving his superhero form a sexy haircut than into being a good teammate. He is explicitly only a superhero for the money it brings in even though he is already the son of a world-famous rockstar. Luka is not intuitive or wise, he is shallow and self-serving.

More Suitable Miraculous: None of them. Maybe the Mouse so he can multiply and go fuck himself.

CARA.PACE - Turtle of Protection

The ideal holder of the Turtle Miraculous is someone who is stable, sacrificial, and steadfast.

Nicolas Ibrahim Lahiffe, unfortunately, falls short of the mark.

While not as outwardly shitty as Luka, Nino also lacks the right qualities in an effective superhero. Nino is the type of person who, as Quinton Reviews once perfectly put it, "would rather be chill than be right". Nino is laid-back and likes to show off with his Miraculous, enjoying how cool it makes him look while still helping out at the end of the day. ...But he's not exactly protective. If anyone even stood up to Lucky being physically abusive, it should've been him. But Nino does not protect the weak, because he is the kind of person to stand on the sidelines. Nino is not a source of stability, he's too much of a laid-back (and often cowardly) jokester to protect anyone.

More Suitable Miraculous: Monkey, Pig.

Renared - Fox of Illusion

The ideal holder of the Fox Miraculous is someone who is cunning, sly, and witty.

Aaliyah Thérèse Césaire is trying so hard to make it work, but is underserved by what she's been given.

If anyone in the team has the braincells, it's Alya. Alya can draft up plans with her Holo-Illusions like second nature, strategize on the fly, and takes to her ability to make diagrams out of thin air like a fish to water. ...But that's not what the Illusions are for, is it? As natural for her determined nature, she strives to bend her miraculous to her will anyways, rarely ever using her Illusions to actually distract and more to help her with her thankless job of the actual team leader. It makes sense that she would function this way, though! Alya is a proponent of the truth through and through, and is rather blunt often to the point of being brutally honest. Alya is not cunning, she is forthright and stubborn. If only she got a miraculous to reflect that.

More Suitable Miraculous: Ox, Rooster, Bee

Lucky Lucky Ladybug - Ladybug of Creation

The ideal holder of the Ladybug Miraculous is someone who is creative, compassionate, and clever.

Marinette Anne Louise Dupain-Cheng is this in all the wrong fucking ways.

It does take a creative person to formulate a plan to woo your celebrity crush with a perfect version of you. It takes someone who knows how to be compassionate to so effectively deny a shred of it to Chat Noir. It takes a clever person to make up a fake eulogy. And yet, at the same time, Lucky Lucky Ladybug is hindered by her hot-headed entitlement and her need to be the center of attention. She lets her team do the creative work, weaponizes her compassion as something to market herself with, and is somehow so caught up in her own world that she ignores evidence of Adrien being a relationship when it is staring her in the face. Marinette is best described as an embodiment of "creation" only in the sense that she will one day orchestrate her own undoing.

More Suitable Miraculous: Anything would be better than the Ladybug. That way she isn't brainwashing people anymore.

Chat Noir/Errant - Black Cat of Destruction

The ideal— Actually, let's break from convention for this one.

If anyone is fit to embody Destruction, it is Adrien fucking Agresté.

Once you get deep enough into TWEOS, Adrien is by far the most emotionally turbulent character out of any of them. It helps that the narration is so often colored by his input, but his range is exceptional and takes up a significant focus of the story. He is the mostly openly self-destructive and suicidal, romanticizing the idea of dying with his girlfriend, but is equally willing to destroy others in pursuit of his goals.

It's also worth taking into account that TWEOS is essentially a corruption arc. The whole point of the story is to witness his circumstances tear him apart, unearth his traumas, show a version of Adrien that becomes bitter and violent and vengeful. What power would suit a vengeful, violent person better than the power to destroy things?

Conclusion

In short, it's meant to be incredibly ironic that the only holder that truly embodies their miraculous is the one that quits. The entire ordeal is a stageplay put on by higher powers, of course it's more important to them that their puppets are obedient more than anything.

Of course, this isn't to say that synergy between a person and their miraculous is a good thing, either; That's what makes the eventual magic-induced insanity even worse, after all. This is what killed Emilie, what's ruining Marinette's relationships, and what is starting to happen to Adrien as well.

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boybff · 9 months

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wait hiiiii hi hello bestie i didn’t know u like video essays!! i’ve been trying to find more to watch recently, do u have any other recs? about any topic 👀

HIIIIII bestie Robin, are you ready?? After harvesting my Youtube subscription and liked video lists here is what I have compiled. I'm gonna put my current top 5 video recommendations and then the rest of the list, under the cut, is organized by creator.

Why Are There So Many Confederate Vampires

The art of religious interpretation (midnight mass vs god’s not dead)

Defunctland: Walt Disney's City of the Future, E.P.C.O.T.

Hogwarts Legacy, JK Rowling, and Trans Advocacy

Cultural Inspirations in Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 1 - Water

CHANNELS

biz barclay - hilarious, brilliant, my best friend who drinks wine and weaves me long insightful stories while sitting on the dresser or in the bathtub. The vast amount of knowledge, historical

understanding snapewives: religion, fandom, sociology, & erotica

Goncharov (1973) video essay

The art of religious interpretation (midnight mass vs god’s not dead)

Xiran Jay Zhao - Author of one of my FAVE YA novels, “Iron Widow” (which is a MUST read). I always want more avatar content that focuses on cultural inspirations from trusted sources. Xiran taught me so much about the avatar universe I already loved as well as valuable critiques. They also do retellings of historical events such as- Bisexual Han Dynasty Emperors and Forgotten Warrior Queen - Fu Hao.

Cultural Inspirations in Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 1 - Water

Cultural Inspirations in Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 2 - Earth

Cultural Inspirations in Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 3 - Fire

Fundie Fridays - Jen, a leftist queer feminist, and her husband James examine different aspects of Christian fundamentalism, American conservative politics and pop culture. She has remade a lot of her older videos so make sure to watch the updated versions! She was also featured in the Amazon docuseries “Shiny Happy People” which I would HIGHLY recommend.

Vacation Bible School of Rock (3 part video series History of Contemporary Christian Music)

Ken Ham’s Creation Museum & Ark Encounter

Ask a Mortician - Caitlin Doughty!!! The adult Wednesday Addams we should have got. So compassionate, informed, and moving!! I love her work and she has taught me so much about what it means to have a relationship with death and grief. Her work deals with heavy topics and you can tell she does this work from a deeply respectful, informed place.

The Lake That Never Gives Up Her Dead

Let’s Visit the Churches Made of Human Skulls

Why are Black and White Funeral Homes STILL Separate? With Dr. Kami Fletcher

Iconic Corpse Series

Princess Weekes - Nuanced video essays on pop culture, race, feminism, and other social issues. Takes time to break down complex concepts, their origins and material consequences. The essay on confederate vampires and the connection later made to sci-fi media like Firefly were so paradigm shifting to me!

Why Are There So Many Confederate Vampires

The Magical Negroes of Stephen King

Ro Ramdin - Poetic, biting, and introspective essays on pop culture.

Do Celebrities Hate Their Fans? (Doja Cat, Frank Ocean)

Hogwarts Legacy, JK Rowling, and Trans Advocacy

DefunctLand- History of extinct theme parks and themed entertainment experiences.

Defunctland: Walt Disney's City of the Future, E.P.C.O.T.

Disney Channel’s Theme: A History Mystery

Mina Le - Fashion, movies and pop culture

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO UGLY: The Curse of Modernism

FAIRYTALE COSTUMES: it’s giving renfaire but why?

Quinton Reviews - Extensive videos covering niche topics, most popular for Nickelodeon deep dive retrospectives.

How Documentaries Lie to You

The ICarly/Victorious Saga Playlist

TheEpicNate315 - yea i fucking love endless hours of useless skyrim lore because the conspiracies are so deep and I have to do 0 of the research to get all of the information years of scouts worked to piece together!

The Skyrim Mysteries Iceberg (Part 1 of 4)

The Fallout Mysteries Iceberg (Part 1 of 2, incomplete series)

Mike’s Mic - Silly, goofy, and thorough breakdowns of nostalgic TV shows

Any of his unhinged recaps - LOST, Pretty Little Liars, Glee

Tiffanyferg - Media criticism and commentary

Internet Analysis Series

Zoë Ligon - sex educator, artist, and writer, who also owns SpectrumBoutique.com, a health and education oriented sex toy store. Such a special place in my heart for her!! Her bondage mini-documentary with Midori was so touching.

Sex Stuff | Japanese Rope Bondage with Midori

Channels Newer to Me

Broey Deschanel - a mixture of film analyses, retrospectives, politics and just absolutely overthinking anything to do with pop culture

Elvis (2022) and the Utter Mediocrity of Biopics

Meeptop - rambling about movies and stuff

Who is Dahmer Even Made For?

LadyJenevia - discussing entertainment media content including films, television series, etc. Expect to find reviews of recent cinematic releases, video essays on older releases, and interviews with talent from the film/television industry

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery and The Art of Hiding in Plain Sight (Netflix Review/Video Essay)

As a disclaimer, I am not endorsing any creator fully and if you see someone you think I should not promote please reach out to me so I can edit this list. As a general rule of thumb the more I had to write about someone, the more informed the recommendation.

#if you read/watch this monster list thank you and I hope you enjoy!!#you can really see my niche interests displayed here lmao #send me asks if you have questions! or have recommendations for me!!#boybff reccomendations #video analysis #video essay reccomendations #video essay #YouTube recommendations

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springbloggy · 9 months

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Noah Knows Best: The Forgotten Nickcom

The timing of this is completely coincidental, as Quinton Reviews just uploaded (at the time of me writing this), part 2 of his Sam and Cat review (watch it btw its really, really good). This is something I've been thinking about writing for a while now, because I find the topic fascinating.

I first found out about Noah Knows Best from Pop Entertainment's history video on Nickelodeon Studios (another must watch, especially if you love Nickelodeon and theme park content). There, the show was given a brief mention, being called one the greatest bombs in Nickelodeon history. There was also a commenter below the video who pointed out how, when they tried to find more info on the show, Wikipedia had no summaries, only a quote from the creator on why the show failed. This came as a shock to me, as Nickelodeon is known for being the nostalgia network, where even the most obscure movies and shows from Nickelodeon have their own small fanbases. Yet Noah has no (easy to find anyways) fanbase, no one sharing their memories of seeing the show, its nowhere in nostalgia compilations, and the lost media search for it is incredibly small compared to other Nickelodeon search efforts. Official recognition from Nickelodeon itself in the years since has only been in a compilation of Nickelodeon Studios bumpers. Which judging by the lack of mention or acknowledgement otherwise, I personally believe was an accidental inclusion after digging through showtapes and including whatever they had.*

youtube

Now below, I will go through what the show was about, one of the found episodes, the different factors that caused the show's downfall, and whether or not I think Noah deserved better. Buckle up, because I have a feeling that this will be a long one.

What was Noah Knows Best about?

Since Wikipedia lacks a summary, I will provide my own based on what I could find before watching one of the episodes and what I could gather after watching it.

Noah Knows Best was about a boy named Noah Beznick and his sibling rivalry with his sister Megan alongside with his friendship with DJ Martin. The three would be entangled in different plots due to this "triangle" arc. For example, Megan wants a computer, DJ promises to give a computer to Megan to earn a date, while Noah secretly plans to take the computer as payback for Megan getting him in trouble. At some points, Noah will "talk" to the audience to explain his feelings. The different cross-factors will then combine in a grand finale, which will end with a positive message from Noah.

Source of image: 2010snickforever

Episode 2: The Computer

The episode begins with Noah explaining that Megan's school "Yardly Prep", which he describes as being more like a country club with a chalkboard, is two miles away from his school. This, he feels still isn't far enough distance. The show then quickly pans into Yardly, which does have a more unique layout compared to most classrooms. Having an almost college vibe.

And this is where I could start to see why this show failed with the kid audience almost immediately. I am thrust in and to me these characters seem too old to logically have a sibling rivalry. It might make sense if the pair were elementary/middle schoolers or even high school freshmen trying to find their way, but this girl seems to be in a college-like setting. Even if the two are the same age, why does she go to a different, more expensive school than her brother? It makes it seem like their parents prefer Megan over Noah, which has a kinda uncomfortable vibe.

Anyways, Megan is upset that she does not have a computer despite it being the 90s (which she was very quickly corrected to being the 2000s). Noah and her apparently both got a computer by their parents, but Noah got a job and bought out her share for 200 dollars. A strict teacher or principal walks by and all the students stop in their tracks, tidy up their outfits, and sits back down upon his presence. The whole setup, despite laugh track, is rather odd and unfunny.

After this, Noah says something that doesn't match the sequence just shown at all.

Uh, ok Noah.

The theme song well...

youtube

It sure is something! It feels like the last breaths of a dying trend in a way I can't describe.

If this next sequence was shown at the beginning instead of what I had just described, I would have preferred it. Megan walks into a pizza shop with her friend, discussing about how she dislikes kids from a rival school called Hudson*2. Meanwhile DJ meets up with his older brother who schools him on what not to do while he's gone (no borrowing my stuff without my permission, no touching my stuff without permission, no looking at my stuff without permission). Megan and Noah meet at him at the table, where they go over DJ's many failed attempts to ask her to a date. This intro is a lot more natural than the odd previous sequence and sets up each of the main characters and their relationships with each other really well. When Megan leaves, her friend Camille suggests to DJ to get the computer Megan needs to get her attention.

Sadly the rest of the episode does not keep up with this upbeat feel, as the next two sequences have an odd negative tone. The first has Noah attempting to help with his sister Megan with a lie she set up about her saving him from a mugging, only for his Mom to catch the lie and ground the two.

At least, that's what I think is what happened, as the scene comes and goes so fast with little explanation I was left confused.

The next scene has more setup, as the character previously appeared in the pizzeria scene. Noah tries to escape a bully named Zeke, who used to be his friend until Noah stood up to Zeke and got him into detention, which caused Zeke's dad sent him to military school. Zeke blames Noah for the whole thing and has a grudge against him. Noah tries to make things up with the advice of his friend, but Zeke doesn't take it.

Both of these scenes are dour, they have some jokes, but none of them hit and just make the scenes worse.

Of course, things don't get better from there, as Noah and DJ convince Megan to go out with DJ for three days for a computer. Little does she know, that Noah is actually planning to borrow the computer from DJ's brother, then take it away from her as payback for her lie from earlier that episode.

Everything about this sitcom is miserable so far. When compared to the Nickcoms and Disney Channel sitcoms I grew up with, there's nothing really likable, or funny, or engaging about anything. And I don't see things improving as things go on.

Noah and DJ go into the shared bedroom of DJ and his brother in a "comedic" (heavy quotes there) scene of them trying to hide the fact they stole his laptop.

After this scene, Noah admits to the audience that while the plan sounded good in his head earlier, he was now having second thoughts.

It's a rare moment of earnestness in this show, a moment where I could feel a little bit of something, even if for a brief amount of time.

DJ gives Megan the laptop, but the next day she finds it missing from her desk. She complains to Noah about this, but has to hide the laptop's existence to her parents, who are unaware about the bet and only want to give her a computer when her grades rise up.

Once again, this showcases the overly negative tone of the sitcom. The mom is upset about the siblings fighting, the dad is upset about his failing play, the siblings are upset about the laptop, it's said that the date had Megan three rows behind DJ, and the whole scene just adds to an already miserable watch for what is supposed to be a somewhat-comedic sitcom.

Or at least that's how one network advertised it!

youtube

I get life is messy, unpredictable, and can be dour. But I personally don't think that's what most people look for in a nickelodeon sitcom. I can imagine kids getting bored or upset by the show and changing the channel.

Everything about the laptop then comes to a head later in the pizzeria. Noah and DJ find out that the laptop that was in Noah's locker was stolen by Zeke, who gives the laptop to Megan at the pizzeria. As a cover to DJ's brother, Noah tells the brother that Zeke bought the computer and wiped the hard drive, which prompts DJ's brother to chase Zeke who then gets chased by Megan.

At home, Noah apologizes to Megan and Megan gets payback by getting Zeke to scare him. Noah allows her to borrow his computer, but for an hour a day.

Meanwhile DJ's brother confronts him about the computer and scares DJ so much he runs out of the building.

The episode ends with a recap by Noah...and then this happens

What caused the downfall of Noah Knows Best

Noah Knows Best seems to be a show that was doomed from the start, as Nickelodeon always seemed to butt heads on the direction of the show.

Noah was something I really wanted to try and even though it was a different idea for Nick, and they didn’t warm to it immediately, I appreciated when they green lit for pilot. Unfortunately, their view of what the show should be and my vision of the show were not the same and they never really matched up, which was ultimately a reason for its lack of success. And the big thing was, I wanted to shoot it the same way I had shot Alex, with many of the same directors, writers and crew members, but they wanted it for Nick Studios, which, as I mentioned above, was built for a different kind of show. I tried to thread the line between sitcom and single-camera show and it was never one or the other. I’m still proud of the show, but what I wanted it to be was not what Nick wanted and it was a battle all the way.

-Ken Lipmann, creator of "Noah Knows Best" and "The Mysterious World of Alex Mack"

One of the largest factors to the show's failure was Nickelodeon's insistence to film the show in Nickelodeon Studios Florida, which by the year 2000 was dying. Noah was one of many shows that were put in the studio as a last minute attempt to revive the studios before the contract ran out. The majority of these plans failed, with the one large success being Slime Time Live which was replaced by the easier to film UPick Live. However, out of all the last minute lifelines, Noah was the most apparent failure of the bunch, as it lasted only two months after premier, with 5 of its 13 episodes being unaired in English. Interestingly, those 5 episodes were aired in Russia. Your guess is as good as mine.

This lies in conspiracy territory, but I wouldn't be surprised if Noah Knows Best caused not only the death of Nickelodeon Studios, but also the rise of the Dan Schnider-verse. Especially given that Noah Knows Best was paired with the much more popular Amanda Show during the last months of Snick. For better or worse, without Noah Knows Best we might have never gotten Drake and Josh, iCarly, or Victorious. However in a hypothetical world where Noah Knows Best and the other shows it was paired with succeeded, the network could have gotten a more varied schedule with more kidcoms and game shows by different long-time Nickelodeon creators or even newer creators. A world where the hyperactive humor of shows like Drake and Josh may have never gotten popular in favor of the more subdued humor seen in Noah Knows Best.

However, even with executive meddling, I still think that Noah was destined to not be popular with kids. The episode I watched anyways, was dour, it didn't have the fun or whimsy of shows that would become popular in the 2000s. The characters don't have the likability factor for kids to feel sympathy towards even if it was advertised as a drama rather than a comedy. The jokes often don't land and the whole thing just ended up making me feel more bored than entertained, and I can imagine it being similar for a lot of kids who tuned in. This is ultimately why I think Noah Knows Best had such low ratings, even though it was paired up with heavy hitters such as The Amanda Show and Spongebob during SNICK.

Did Noah Know's Best deserve better?

Here's the thing. I think the show's basic concept was done better by another show. Drake and Josh takes every concept of Noah Knows Best and does them better. The sibling rivalry is done between with Drake and Josh, however its more loving and the pair share a school and a room, which brings them closer together as characters. Opposed to Noah and Megan who are split apart for everything for 10 years. The aspect of pulling mean tricks is done by Megan who plots against the brothers, rather than the main two siblings going against each other for their own gain. Various side characters fill in the friend roles in a fulfilling way that the side characters of Noah Knows Best couldn't do.

For a non-Schnider option, there's Ned's Declassified, which has a similar "lesson" format in a much more fun and engaging way. The various friends bonds are tight despite their differences, and there's even a cheesy bully character done in a better way than the bully shown in Noah Knows Best.

So in that regard, I don't think Noah deserved better...because it technically already was done better. However, I do think Noah Knows Best needs more recognition from the network and the fans and does not deserve to be lost media. I think this show, its troubled history, and its ties to Nickelodeon Studios Florida's ultimate demise, are interesting and important to preserve, despite the final results. The fact that Nickelodeon is storing high quality tapes of Noah Knows Best, but haven't released them to Paramount+, Pluto TV, or even a dedicated Youtube channel as many other smaller shows do, is a shame. Noah Knows Best is another sign of the ultimate failure of companies to properly showcase and preserve their media in the streaming age. And possibly how companies always failed to showcase their shows prior to then.

I hope you enjoyed this strange mini review and retrospective. It's a topic I find fascinating.

*Note also the video was uploaded on the Nicktoons youtube channel and not the dedicated NickRewind or Nickelodeon youtube channels. Since Nicktoons Network is infamous for being Nick's "burial ground", perhaps them putting their one acknowledgement of Noah Knows Best onto the Nicktoons Youtube is a modern extension of this practice? *2 later on watching this, I realized Hudson is the name of Noah's school...or at least I think so. The show never really seems to explain these elements too well.

#nickelodeon #nick #lost media #196 #196 campfire #quinton reviews #90s #2000s #nostalgia #streaming #long post #springy thoughts #noah knows best

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