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bandaids-not-groupies · 5 years

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Get to know me uncomfortably well - tagged by @livewiredroger ❤️ sorry this took so long to post!!

1. What is your middle name?

Janie

2. How old are you?

21, gonna be 22 in a couple months

3. When is your birthday?

December 4th! A day after Ozzy’s

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius

5. What is your favourite colour?

Light purple and black

6. What’s your lucky number?

I don’t actually know

7. Do you have any pets?

No but I did have a dog!

8. Where are you from?

Chicago!

9. How tall are you?

5’0 lmao

10. What shoe size are you?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Too many to count lol

12. What was your last dream about?

I don’t remember 😅

13. What talents do you have?

None lol. I’m boring af

14. Are you psychic in any way?

Nope lol

15. Favourite song?

I’m a believer by the monkees (I’ve always loved that song)

16. Favourite movie?

The Godfather

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Keanu Reeves. He has my heart and soul

18. Do you want children?

Yeah but only like 2

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Yeah but nothing too big

20. Are you religious?

Kinda but not really. Like I acknowledge that there could be a God. But I don’t practice it that much. So basically I’M SINNING AND I’M WINNING

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yeah. Twice. Once cause I had a bad ear infection and then another time I had pneumonia

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Nope!

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Yes I have! Back in my emo days I meet Christofer Drew from Never Shout Never, which was actually pure luck! NSN was in town for a concert, but I couldn’t go because it was a 18+ venue so I couldn’t get in (I was in 8th grade at the time). So my family and I decided to go out to eat at a restaurant which was coincidentally across from the venue. So we were walking down the street and I see this huge tour bus right outside the restaurant. My heart starts racing and i thought “how cool would it be if I bumped into someone from the group” well lo and behold as we are coming closer to the bus, Christofer Drew turns the corner and walks towards the bus. So I stop in my tracks and just say “Christofer Drew?” And he stops and he says hi! He asked if I was going to the show and I said no and he goes “well you gotta promise you’ll come to the next one!” Of course I made the promise and I didn’t break it! He came back that summer and I got to see him ❤️ I also met two groups called Breathe Carolina and Crown The Empire. I also met Evan Peters and Sebastian Stan at Comic Con a couple years ago. I also met Corey Crawford. The goaltender for the Chicago Blackhawks, my favorite hockey team.

24. Baths or showers?

Showers! I don’t like the idea of bathing in your own filth.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing any!

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nope lmao and I probably never will be

28. What type of music do you like?

I like oldies. Mostly from the 50s-80s. Anything from Dean Martin to Motley Crue. I do like modern music too. I still listen to some of the bands I listened to in middle school lol (like the ones i mentioned before and others like All Time Low, Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, Of Mice & Men, Asking Alexandria, and a couple more.) I also like Greta Van Fleet and 5 Seconds of Summer. I also like spanish music. Like Maluma, Bad Bunny, Becky G, etc.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nope lol

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

It depends. It could be one or none. Sometimes i don’t use a pillow

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my tummy!

32. How big is your house?

It’s a two bedroom apartment. I’m not complaining tho, its very cozy.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

If I wake up early enough lol it’ll usually be eggs (over medium), some coffee, and some bread

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope and i don’t plan on it!

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes! I tried it when I was in Girl Scouts in elementary school

36. Favourite clean word?

Groovy

37. Favorite swear word?

definitely FUCK

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

like a day? I got like four hours of sleep the night before. Got up at like 6am, went about my day. Then I stayed up until 7am working on a research paper for class (college is a BITCH).

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Nah cause your girl is hella ugly lmao

41. Are you a good liar?

Not at all. People can tell when I’m lying cause my voice gets high lmao

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Eh I do my best

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I try to do a posh British accent and I try to do a Steve Irwin Aussie accent

44. Do you have a strong accent?

People say I have a strong chicagoan accent but i don’t hear it!

45. What is your favourite accent?

I’m a sucker for aussie accents

46. What is your personality type?

just took the test..i got ISFP-T (adventurer)

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

hmmmm all I can think of at the moment is my Doc Martens. They aren’t really clothing but it’s all I can think of lol

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Nope!

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

outie :(((( i hate it

50. Left or right-handed?

Right handed!

51. Are you scared of spiders?

YES YES YES

52. Favourite food?

Pasta! I could eat it all day, every day

53. Favourite foreign food?

Tamales and Pozole. That’s my shitttt

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I try and be a clean person and stay organized but it only lasts for a bit then I go back to my messy ways lol

55. Most used phrase?

“that’s a mood” and “no mames guey” (Mexican slang)

56. Most used word?

Dude and Darling

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends. If I wear my hair natural, then an hour. But if I gotta style it, then like an hour and a half or two hours( I got a lot of fucking hair, dude).

58. Do you have much of an ego?

Hell no lmao. This bitch has a low self-esteem so 🤷🏻‍♀️

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck 🤪

60. Do you talk to yourself?

All the time lmao

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yeah sometimes

62. Are you a good singer?

Nope lmao but I still do it anyways

63. Biggest Fear?

A lot of shit. Spiders, Holes (trypophobia), tearing my achilles or getting them cut (ever since I saw Pet Sematary), dolls, bugs crawling under my skin, throwing up...and i can’t think of anymore on the spot

64. Are you a gossip?

you bet your ass I am. Soy una chismosa lmao

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Titanic

66. Do you like long or short hair?

On girls, long but not too long. Maybe like mid-back. And guys, long, like ear length and longer

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Yeah but i couldn’t point them out on a map

68. Favourite school subject?

Biology/Human Anatomy. I’m a sucker for science

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Definitely an introvert. No doubt about that lol

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope!

71. What makes you nervous?

Meeting new people, class discussions, and presentations

72. Are you scared of the dark?

If i’ve just seen a scary movie then yes lol

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sometimes. For instance, if one of my friends from ecuador uses a word wrong in a sentence, then I would tell them the right way to say it to help them learn more english. i never correct someone to seem like i’m smarter or to be rude. It’s simply to help them.

74. Are you ticklish?

Yeah! In some places like my feet, neck, and my back,

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

No way! That’s terrible

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Only when babysitting my little cousins lol

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yeah lmao. When I went away for college

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Once, when I hungout with a guy at school we smoked some weed

79. Who was your first real crush?

One of my friends from college. I met him Freshman year and I still like him...I’ve liked him for four years but i’ve never had the guts to tell him

80. How many piercings do you have?

6! I have four on my left ear and two on my right ear. I have the standard lobe piercings, then the upper lobe on both sides. Then on my left I have one above the upper. And then I have my helix pierced on the left side. (i hope this all made sense lol)

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Nope

82. How fast can you type?

Eh I would say pretty average

83. How fast can you run?

Not at all. I hate running

84. What colour is your hair?

Dark brown!

85. What color is your eyes?

Dark brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Some ingredient in the Banana Boat sunscreen. And some type of plant. I don’t exactly know which one cause I went to the botantic garden one time on a field trip and I don’t know which plant caused my allergic reaction but when I got home I had hives all over me.

87. Do you keep a journal?

Nope, never did

88. What do your parents do?

My mom is an ortho technician and my dad is a delivery man

89. Do you like your age?

Yeah I guess. I mean I can buy my own alcohol so that’s pretty neat

90. What makes you angry?

Everything

91. Do you like your own name?

Eh it’s alright. Pretty boring

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I like the name Elena for a girl and Jonathan for a boy

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Doesn’t matter to me

94. What are you strengths?

I’m a ride or die bitch.

95. What are your weaknesses?

I don’t really share my emotions so I keep things bottled up

96. How did you get your name?

My cousin picked out my name

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I know of. But what I do know is I have family from Spain.

98. Do you have any scars?

Yeah, one on my arm from when I burned myself with my straightener. And another at the place where my nose meets my forehead, between my brows. When I was in elementary school, I was running out on the playground and I tripped and I slide across the cement and scraped my nose and my whole forehead. THERE. WAS. BLOOD. EVERYWHERE.

99. Colour of your bedspread?

Light pink

100. Colour of your room?

White!

I tag: @tommyleeownsme, @babe-mustaine, @waycooljunior, and @universal-scorpio ❤️

#sorry this is hella long #omfg #personal

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kl4us4 · 7 years

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THE RED STRING (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Song: Running With The Wolves - Aurora

A/N: this song reminded me of Octavia so here u go

masterlist

TRS masterlist

When you walk back into the empty dropship, you’re met with the suspicious gaze of Finn Collins. It’s extremely difficult to ignore and you begin to wonder if Finn suspects ulterior motives linked to you talking to Murphy, what if Bellamy can tell too?

He makes his way over to you, his gaze never leaving your face as you try to avoid him but it’s futile - he reaches you before you can make your way to the other side of the dropship. Finn must have some kind of sixth sense, you reckon. First, he thinks he’s psychic by insinuating there’s something between you and Bellamy. And now, just when you’re scheming and conspiring… he’s here.

“Hi.” You greet him with a smile, shoving your hands in your pocket. Finn looks at your hand and back up to your stoic features and you give him a questioning look as if he’s the one being weird.

He sits on the bench beside you, waiting for you to take a seat beside him. His eyes watch you, looking up as a piece of his brown hair falls in his face. You follow his suit and sit, looking down at your mud-stained shoes.

“How’s Octavia?” He implores, knowing that she fought really hard for Lincoln to not be locked up in chains, facing the wrath of Bellamy’s anger.

You look down, wondering if he’s forgotten that you don’t want Lincoln up there as much as Octavia doesn’t. “She’s surviving.” You nod, feeling a tug at your chest when you think about how Octavia was on the verge of tears when she gave you the note to hand to Lincoln. “She’s tough.”

“No doubt.” Finn gives you a small smile which you return calmly. Finn feels as though somethings off and as he watches you glance to the side, he furrows his eyebrows. “And what are you up to?”

You snap up with a shrug as you remain calm. You know you can trust Finn but that’s not what this is about. You’re doing this with Octavia and that’s final, the fewer who know about Lincoln’s escape plan, the better. “Not much. I’ve already handed out the food for tonight like I did yesterday so-”

“No, Y/N,” Finn interrupts, leaning down slightly to look you directly in the eyes. His voice is lower as he interrogates you, wanting a straightforward answer. “What are you up to?”

You watch him, giving him a look that’s supposed to tell him to back off. “Nothing that concerns you.” The sentence comes out more forcefully than you anticipated. “I’m sure Raven and Clarke need your help with rewiring the radio, the storm blocked the signal but now that it’s gone they’ll need more hands.”

Finn just looks down, letting you walk away from him with your head held high and an unintentional glare. Bellamy meets your gaze, taking in the angered look upon your features.

Finn sighs, walking out of the dropship with everyone else who is enjoying the better weather. The chatter of people outside leads you to believe the weather is good now.

Though there are still clouds covering most of the sun like there was 25 minutes ago, the wind has died down and it’s no longer raining. You watch him as Murphy walks by you, placing a hand on your lower back as he passes you. For a split second, you face him and meet his eyes as he makes his way to Bellamy. The plan has commenced.

You walk quickly to Octavia, sitting beside her as you both keep your eyes on each other. Murphy sifts through his head, making up an excuse on the spot.

“Now that the storm has died down, we should check if the wall is still stable.” Bellamy doesn’t reply, he just gives a small nod almost ignoring Murphy. “Well? Aren’t you meant to be the one who goes out and bosses everyone around?”

From your position on the ground next to the youngest Blake sibling, you meet her worried gaze. You whisper to her, acting as though you’re initiating a conversation with her. “He has a point, Bellamy.” Clarke speaks up, standing from the radio table, “We all need to get outside, staying in here for too long will drive us all crazy.”

Placing her hand on Raven's shoulder, the dark-haired girl looks up from the radio with tired eyes and nods with a sigh. Bellamy glances towards you but you sit down as though you didn’t notice. With an unconvinced sigh, he steps out of the dropship.

When everyone leaves, you look around and stand up quickly. You have to be quick and it’s not going to be easy sneaking him past everyone but hopefully, if you go around the back of the tent, no one will be there. After all, Bell will have everyone checking the perimeter of the wall so all you have to do it wait until that part of the wall has been checked.

“Come on.” You whisper to Octavia, rushing to the ladder and the hatch. Rapidly ascending the ladder, you open the door and see Lincoln there, his eyes on you.

You stand up, turning to help Octavia. She ignores your helping hand and runs straight to Lincoln, looking over his bloodied body. “Oh, Lincoln.” She sighs sadly, “I’m so sorry about this.”

You walk to his chains, figuring that you better begin setting him loose. Octavia does the same, snapping to action when the rattling of the chains makes her chest ache. His chains come off quicker than you expected and he gives you a small, grateful smile.

“Told you we’d get you out of here.” You smirk cheekily, holding his forearm as he stands.

Once Lincoln is on his unsteady feet, he looks to you with a solemn expression. “We’re not out yet.” He mumbles back.

Making your way to the level of the hatch, you use both hands and all your strength to unwind and open it, letting the cold metal burn against your hands. You’re the first one to make your quick way down, almost tripping on the last step. Lincoln is next, making his way down in a slow, aggravating manner.

Restlessness flows through you as quick as anxiety does. You need to hurry, this is a time-sensitive plan. No one knows when Bellamy will be back and no one knows how long it’ll take to get to the hidden exit in the wall.

In a shaky yet determined manner, Lincoln descends the ladder slowly and when his feet rest on the ground you take a deep breath. It’s supposed to calm you down but when you inhale once again, to the sound of Octavia's light feet hitting the ground, you breathe in nerves as well.

“Y/N,” Octavia whispers, getting your attention with her urgent tone. She wraps her arms around Lincoln to help him stand as he’s still weak. “I’ll stay here with Lincoln. You go make sure no ones outside.”

With a single nod, you exit the dropship and immediately feel the cold air hit your face. It traces along the loose flyaways from your ponytail, grazing along your neck and waking you up completely.

You’re almost done, Y/N. Keep going.

Looking around, everyone is in their own world. There’s barely anyone even near the dropship anymore and the ones who are, pay you no mind as they sleep quietly. Perfect.

Marching to the side of the dropship, you poke your head around the corner of the wall. Empty. Even more perfect. You assume the walls been checked for any major damage. Giving the side of the ship a light knock to alert Octavia and Lincoln, you glance side to side for anyone who could be watching.

Suddenly, Octavia and Lincoln are beside you making their way to the wall as quickly as they can with how drained Lincoln is and how heavy he is to support. You follow closely behind, holding the small exit in the gate open for Lincoln to duck through.

He’s out. Lincoln’s free. You smile at him, your eyes trailing along with the evergreen trees framing him. When you hear a shout back from the dropship, you snap around and Octavia freezes. It’s Murphy, he’s back and walking with Bellamy.

Before they can see Lincoln on the other side of the door, Octavia borders it up but not before giving Lincoln a smile mixed with a look of sadness. He looks at her too, knowing it won’t be the last he sees of Octavia Blake. And then, just as quickly as it had appeared, the hidden exit is closed and Lincoln is gone.

It’s only then - after tricking Bellamy, helping Octavia, and freeing Lincoln - that you remember there’s still one thing you’re still left to do; meet Murphy inside the dropship.

TAG LIST: @doctorwhoandrory @feelins-fadin @jaib2-blog @justacrush @cainismyname @the-grounder-girl (if you would like to be added to this for TRS, inbox me!)

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almaasi · 7 years

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you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!!

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dumb-alek · 7 years

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@toasted-psychic-hell

I just needed a minute to breath in order to not just bitch about how ridiculously stupid your attitude is. I will try to write it out calmly now, not even for your sake, just for anyone who reads it.

If you read literally, like. literally any of the things I wrote before you’d notice I couldn’t care less about “winning” or “showing superiority”. You’ve got the wrong girl, pal.

And really. Really? Did you really read my post? because I said repeatedly that shipping reimob is ok as long as it’s not child-adult romantic relationship. How is it hard to understand???

I’m just reminding you that pedophilia is a crime. That it’s abusive. There’s no “but”.

Just putting it out there, because you know. Some people apparently must have some doubts about that.

1) I don’t even know where to start taking apart your first argument. It doesn’t make any logical sense.

Why would anyone not tag as you said “laid back” stuff for fear of backlash and tag the gross explicit stuff that is definitely going to get backlash? (backlash i haven’t seen before, because most people say they don’t even confront reimob shippers. That’s why I’m doing it in the first place)

2) You feel harassed?? You think I’m creating an “oppressive environment” ???

y o u l i t e r a l l y e x c u s e p e d o p h i l l i a

the only oppressive environment I see is environment that normalises and romanticises pedophilia. It is literally harmful for real people. For potential pedophilia victims. You may think it as harmless fun. It might be for you. You’re not doing anything explicitly wrong yourself, aren’t you?

But as I said before, you are creating an outlet for pedophilic behaviours.

Oh I feel morally superior? Well maybe. If I do, it’s because pedophilia is morally wrong, and I condemn it, unlike some people who ship it, and by that deeming it harmless. (at least in a romanticised way, which I mostly encountered)

Do you feel morally superior to people who make rape jokes? To people who do sexist, transphobic, racist jokes? I bet you do. Because you deem those things morally wrong. Why do you feel that way about them? Because while they’re not directly oppressive behaviours, like physically oppressive behaviours, THEY CONTRIBUTE TO THE OPPRESSION.

Yes, just like romanticising adult-child “relationships”

3) whEN. have I searched for anyone to oppress them. I’m waiting. please show me.

things I’ve done so far:

- talked to one person who disagreed with me

- some other people agreed with me

- I explained calmly my point to the person

- other people explained their points calmly to the person

- the person acknowledged the fact that they were wrong and agreed with those people who talked to them

4) You can try to dismiss my points saying I’m just looking to start a fight (I’m not) and that I just want to harass someone (I do not, and I never did) by blaming in on “those extreme sjw who will jump at everyone for being problematic” (which also, I’m not).

I’m engaging in a conversation about as serious issue that is overlooked, because people are to afraid of “drama” to start it.

But it’s not on saying that certain character is so and so, it’s not saying this ship is so and so (like i said, as long as it’s not pedophillia, i’m fine with reimob)

I’m talking about toxic behaviours that need to be addressed because that’s how you eliminate them.

You can either try to have a civil conversation, or you can try to claim i’m just crusading to let off steam (and I’m sorry my friend, I must have a slightly different ideas about letting steam, as a person with severe anxiety, who engages in such discussions only when I deem it significant), just to excuse yourself from thinking over something that might be uncomfortable for you - realising that you’re wrong about something and that something you do is harmful.

#alek talks #reimob discourse #also really????#i harrassed exactly 0 (zero) people #please think of a new argument to dismiss my arguments........................................

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ecotone99 · 4 years

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[HR] Coincidences

Let me start out by saying I don’t believe in psychics. Nothing is pre-ordained. Everything is random. At least that’s my opinion. That being said, there have been a few crazy coincidences in my life. I never thought much about them until I connected a few from my childhood.

My coincidences started in kindergarten. More precisely, the day before my first day of kindergarten. I was excited about making friends so I barely got enough sleep that night. The little bit of sleep I did get came with a dream. I was running around on a playground next to a boy. He had dirty blonde hair and he was built like a rectangle. He had a sticker name tag that read: BILLY. I tripped over a rock and Billy helped me up. After I thanked him, I woke up.

I got dressed, headed downstairs, and waited for my mom to take me to school. She was a little late getting up, but it didn’t matter. Who’s going to get mad at a parent on their child’s first day of school? When we pulled up to the school, I kissed my mom goodbye and ran inside. I found my teacher and told her my name. She gave me a sticker name tag with my name written on it. It looked like the kind of name tag that Billy was wearing in my dream. Later in the day, the teacher told us we were going out to recess. She warned us to watch where we were walking because there were tree roots and rocks sticking out of the ground. If there were rocks and roots on the playground, I could trip and fall. Just like in my dream.

After the warning, we went outside. The school’s playground was the exact playground from my dream. I looked everywhere for Billy but I couldn’t find him. I was going to give up hope, until the recess doors opened and the other kindergarten class came out. The line leader for the other class was Billy. He looked exactly like he did in my dream. The clothes, the hair, the name tag, even the whole “human rectangle” thing. I introduced myself and asked him if he wanted to play. We played around the swings which were next to huge tree. Billy yelled for me to watch out for a huge root I was about to trip over. I avoided the root but I didn’t see the huge rock right next to it. I tripped over it and face-planted on the ground. Billy grabbed my arm and helped me up. I thanked him and we went back to playing.

When I got home, I told my mom I was psychic because I predicted meeting my new friend. That’s when she taught me the word “coincidences” and what it meant. She said I probably met Billy at the orientation and forgot about it. She said I probably saw the playground out the window during orientation and forgot about it as well. I was so disappointed that I wasn’t psychic, the next day of kindergarten, I told Billy that I didn’t want to be friends anymore.

The next coincidence occurred in the third grade. I had a dream that Billy was standing next to a man in front of a restaurant. I didn’t know who the man was or what restaurant they were standing in front of. All I knew was that the restaurant was right next to the town’s only Walmart. The man was crying as he put up an OUT OF BUSINESS sign on the front door. Billy hugged the man as he cried and said “It’s ok”. I woke up and got ready for school after that.

I got to school and went to the gym to wait for my teacher. Billy came in a few minutes after me. He looked like he had been crying. He sat next to his friend Jimmy and I eavesdropped on their conversation. Jimmy asked “What’s wrong Billy? You look like you’ve been crying.” Billy said “My daddy lost his restaurant.” Jimmy told him he was sorry to hear that and then asked what restaurant Billy’s dad owned. Billy said “He owned a Ruby Tuesday.” There was only one Ruby Tuesday in town and it was next to the only Walmart.

I was freaking out. I had another dream that came true. When I got home I told my mom that there was no way it was just a coincidence. I had to be psychic. I predicted a man losing his restaurant. She calmly said “Baby there is no such thing as psychics. There is an explanation for everything. Maybe you heard Billy talking about his dad’s restaurant before and in your dream, you saw the restaurant closing.” She was really convincing. My hopes of becoming a psychic one day were shattered again. I decided that if I ever had a dream like that again, I would keep it to myself.

It wasn’t until the fifth grade that I had the worst experience with a coincidence ever. We were doing our yearly tests so I was very stressed out. That could be the explanation for the craziness of my nightmare. Not a dream this time, definitely a nightmare. In the nightmare, I saw a man walking behind two women. It was dark so I couldn’t see the man’s face. I saw the faces of the women though. One looked to be in her 30s. The other looked like a teenager. The man kept getting closer and closer to them. By the time they realized what was going on, it was too late. The man pulled out a knife and stabbed them both in their throats. Their blood began to pool onto the sidewalk they were walking on as they died. The teenager’s blood trailed over to a building next to the sidewalk and the red met the ugly light green of the building’s outer wall. The man ran away with the knife still in his hand as I woke up.

I found myself screaming and crying out for help from the darkness of my bedroom. My mom ran into the room and turned on the light. She asked me what was wrong and I tried to tell her about the man and the two women and the blood. I guess I was still groggy and not making much sense because she quieted me down and told me I should go back to sleep because it was just a nightmare. Two things were very clear in that moment: 1. I was not going back to sleep after that and 2. My bed was wet.

I was a wreck at school the next day. I couldn’t stop thinking about the nightmare. Before it was time to go home, Billy showed up with his dad. The principal allowed him to talk to his friends one last time. Apparently, he was moving to a different state. He didn’t say why but I assumed his family was having some sort of trouble.

A week later, I was staying at my uncle’s house. I was watching some cartoon when my uncle (out of nowhere) burst through the front door and took the remote from me. He was breathing really heavily. He turned to the news, told me to be quiet, and sat down in his chair. The news anchor began a report of a multiple homicide that occurred next to some thrift store in town. A mother and her daughter were found dead. They showed a picture of the store and it was the same ugly green color as the building from my nightmare. The victims were identified as “Jane Smith” and “Jenny Smith”. Obviously I can’t use their real names. My uncle started to hyperventilate. Apparently he was friends with Billy’s dad and the two women in the news report were his ex-wife and daughter. My uncle always told the kids in the family things that they probably shouldn’t know. This time was no different. He told me that a month before these murders, Billy’s parents got divorced and went through a custody battle. Billy ended up staying with his dad and his older sister ended up staying with his mom. “How unlucky can one man be?” asked my uncle.

As a kid I saw no correlation between these events. As an adult however, I realize it is entirely possible that Billy’s dad had planned to murder his ex-wife and daughter. That would explain moving to a different state. That doesn’t matter though, the murder was never solved.

The reason I connected these events is because recently, I have been having the same nightmare over and over again. As an adult, my nightmares don’t frighten me as much as they did when I was a child. Nevertheless, they are still very disturbing.

In the nightmare, I am lying in my bed when suddenly, I hear a crashing sound coming from downstairs. I turn on my bedroom light and look around the room for my phone in case I have to call the police. The phone is nowhere to be found. I still have an alarm clock just in case I need to know the time. The clock reads: 3:00 AM. Just my luck, the witching hour. I open my door and head out of my room very quietly. I tiptoe down the hall until I get to the top of the stairs. I look down the stairs and see that my front door has been broken open. There is someone dressed all in black rifling through my living room. They’re most likely looking for valuables. I see my phone sitting screen-down on the side table next to my couch. I’m not going to risk my life over some stuff, but if they come upstairs, they might just kill me anyway. I come up with a plan. I’m going to wait until the intruder has their back turned, creep down the stairs, grab my phone, and quickly lock myself in the closet next to my couch so I can call the police. When the burglar turns around, I creep down the stairs and grab my phone. I’m just about to open the closet door when the burglar turns back around. They see me. They pull out a gun. They fire it. The bullet hits me in the chest and plants itself deep in my heart. I drop my phone in surprise and collapse backwards onto the bottom steps. The burglar walks up to my body very slowly. There is something incredibly familiar about the body and head of this intruder. Something rectangular. I realize I know him. I know that he is a male. He bends down and looks me right in the eyes.

With my dying breath and the last of my strength, I reach up and pull his mask up a little. I guess he realizes that I’m about to die so it doesn’t matter whether or not I see his face. I finally get the mask completely off. In that moment, before I die in the nightmare, and before I wake up in real life, I realize something without a shadow of a doubt. The face I’m looking at is the face of Billy.

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