this is a half-baked thought but i get when people say "appledusk cheating doesn't warrant him being killed" because in that sense it's being viewed with the same social sanctions as our society but like. they don't. they live in a society :tm: where his relationship with maple was illegal altogether and could warrant being exiled and losing the support of their community

...the more I think about it the more I actually do get bothered with the Amane voting discourse on the end of the guilty voters.

Not even cause their voting guilty. Like- I don't care too much about that really, vote how you want and stuff, but how...accusatory a lot of them can get.

Not to heavily generalize a group of people, but one of the reasons why I didn't talk about it too much was cause I'd go into the tag and see another complaint about Inno Amane voters being on their moral high horse and being unnecessarily aggressive.

It's why I try my best whenever I talk about it to be clear I don't think guilty voters are bad people or anything. I'm not going to base someone's sense of morality on what they vote on the interactive anime mv series, I just won't.

However...I am starting to get bothered about how defensive and even hypocritical a lot of the discourse can get on the guilty voters side.

Firstly: A big argument I tend to see get thrown around is that "she can actually hurt people stop treating her like she's harmless" which...yes, from what I've seen a lot of inno voters (Including me!) agree with that and just find that:

1. There's an exaggeration of the actual danger and the security of a guilty verdict.

and 2. Find that there's a double standard here, where Amane is being treated as more dangerous even though other characters are equally, if not more so, than her.

(A Lot of these people point out that she killed an adult and I'd like to point that it's Highly Likely she used the Taser, or uh stun gun actually and that the attack had the element of surprise, two things that are not present in T2.)

Second thing: Positioning yourself as more reasonable than inno voters because unlike them your looking at the issue objectively and without attacking people...is a moral high horse! That's literally the definition of a moral high horse!

If I'm on a moral high horse for pointing out that her situation with the audience uncomfortably parallels with her abusive situation then guilty voters Should Also Be Considered To Be on a moral high house for believing that I'm downplaying the amount of danger I'm putting the prisoner in by doing so!

It's not like both points are bad anyway! If someone presented me with information that Amane could genuinely hurt someone in a way much worse than I anticipated then I'll accept that. I'm voting her inno Knowing about the possible danger. Not blindly believing she's harmless (which a lot of these guilty voters say inno voters are doing!)

Third thing: Sorry I will actually be Really pretentious here. Throw tomatoes at me now- How come when we reach the 12 year old abused child that's when people start acting like Milgram ISNT commentating on social issues?

I swear this is a thing- when we reach Amane people start talking about how the inno voters are taking it too seriously or are being too aggressive or again, are on their moral high horse when half the time its...engaging with the themes. Yamanaka said in an interview he wanted to make the audience be apart of the story and everything!

The Interview in Question:

Yamanaka: That's a difficult question... I'm always conscious of emotional control in my work, but in “MILGRAM”, the content has more live feeling to it. So the story progresses realistically based on the presence of the audience. I think I used a different brain than I have been using to create works up until now, I see it as necessary to think very three-dimensionally. I'm currently trying to turn the audience into characters in my work.

It's like pointing out the uncomfortable themes in her story when your an inno voter is the same as calling yourself "smarter" than guilty voters. Which is Weird when those themes Are such a big part of her story.

Or, alternatively, somehow, pointing out those themes means your disrespecting Amane since she didn't want to be treated like a child even though, again, those themes are such a major part of her story!

I was really trying to engage with this in good faith and now I'm fucking pissed that I spent a month worrying about being too aggressive and mean without realizing that a lot of the guilty voters I was hearing this from were doing the Same Fucking Thing!

I've seen stans claiming issue #67 gets to take place after Frontiers and so there was a huge time skip of months based only in the fact Sonic called Amy to lunch as they apparently spend a time without meet each other (???) (Is not it some long running gag in the games that the characters can take long weeks or months to see each other again, thus being already used to this?)

But why?? Why is it so important to set this passage of time?! Do they are really desperate in make the link between games and comics? Because that really makes the comic's narrative sound and look pretty worse:

1- It would mean then that Surge and Kit has been a far more time hidding in Eggman's abandoned base than you would expect, that makes them look even more lazy losers than they already do and clash a lot more with the image of Thirsty For Revenge the comics insist in pass, since they moved NOT a finger in almost half a year (???) (Idk the exact time they want to claim and much less I care) But it makes the arguably near 0 effort of them become a surely negative effort.

2- So then, Blaze is still in vacation in Sonic's world??? Really? She just forgot her kingdom? Are the Sol Emeralds just in Sonic's world as if there was no risk of the universe to collapse (okay, that's a more overkill than what the game really states) if the Chaos Emeralds are reunited and put close to them? Just like that? As if she wasn't all afraid of get some vacantion in the start?

3- Then Mimic has already gone in missions with the DC for real, right? He's bonding with them, right? Surprisingly, there were NO real volunteers after all this time before Surge and Kit finally met Clutch, heard his plan, came to accept his conditions and just gone to the Restoration HQ by the front door, (assuming any of these step even passed by Surge's father head) right? Or, if had, then they left... Geez, guess a bossy rude bitch with a rock hard head can't be a inspiring leader after all, what a surprise, no?

4- The only positive thing of this time skip ideia is that it explains why everyone is so chill of the drooling psychic walking around as well as make no objections to him about use his powers... And why Silver is so chill after the whole fiasco... Buuuuuut, now he's acting Just Exactly the way Lanolin accused him to act when she made the scandal to kick him out the Diamond Cutters (Not only the absence of security helmets or vests, he's playing with the food of the thousands of hungry kids he meant to help, Ian Flynn, a master of self sabotage)

Btw, sorry for this rant, feel free to just ignore if you prefer... And sorry for bringing the Lanolin discourse all over again...

Now that I think about it, it's been a year since Frontiers came out and IDW still hasn't referenced it. Even considering that it takes multiple months for issues to be finalized, I'd say enough time has passed that anything Flynn and Stanley have written since, say, December 2022 has been released. So huh, not even a small reference to that talkative moon, or anything to reflect the supposed new life goal of the gang. It's like it's not canon after all :)

Anyway. Time skips in IDW are indicated. This is how we know that the camping arc takes place months after the beginning of the MV arc because the apocalypse lasted the whole winter, and how we can say that it's complete bullshit because Sonic should have been dropped dead from exhaustion. No time indication, no significant time skip. This is a moot point for me, so I don't have much to add.

Man, Jungkook cracks me up so much x)

See, I've seen, even in passing, all the current discourses about Seven: the pronoun thing (seriously, how is it even a discussion?), the BTS tag thing, the promo stuff, I've witnessed people (WEIRDLY always the same solo stans, even if they're jkkrs) say the most vile shit about him, pretending he has no creativity or identity of his own, questioning his artistry and whatnot, and i'm like...

Am I the only one that sees that song as just Kookie trolling the hell out of everyone like he always does?? Seven is hilarious. That MV is hilarious. Him singing earnestly how he's f*cking everyone and their cousin when we know he behaves most of the time like a five year old is objectively hilarious.

I honestly don't know how anyone can take it seriously. And, don't get me wrong, I love that song. Both versions have been on repeat since they came out. And I love him. I love his voice, I love his vibe, I love how he pours everything he has in everything he does. And I absolutely adore his sense of humour, and how he can and will do the most random things just for shits and giggles. Seven, imo, is part of that. Like he heard it and went "Yeah, imma sing that, just imagine their faces, it'll be priceless". It's honetsly giving me Lonely Island energy. And I'm all for it!

To y'all who're using that song to judge him, say that he's betrayed everything that BTS stands for, that he's a basic straight himbo, that he has nothing to offer artistically-wise - as if the past ten years and his solos/GCFs/covers/etc had never existed -, f*ck you, you suck. Go rain on someone else's parade.

Jungkook stays an unbothered queer trolling king 👌

(yes this ask has no point, I'm just venting sorry)

Hi @syneepsis !

I enjoy your approach to this. I agree that to Jk there is no seriousness involved in this song. I think he took the chance serious and saw a great opportunity, but he is totally detached from it personally. The way he talks about it makes that very clear to me.

I absolutely see how he’s taken the funny side in the mv. He’s hilarious 😂. That moment when he pops out of the coffin cracks me up every time. I think the way he performs the choreography is also very much him having fun with the moves and exaggerating for fandom. It’s not serious to him. It’s similar to how I always feel whenever he tries to be flirty with army on his lives. It’s like he’s laughing at himself for doing it.

We know what serious Jk comes up with.

Jk is a great performer, and I think that’s what he’s doing here. It does not take away from his song, it’s not like it’s a very deep song anyways. It’s just a nice song, it sets Jk up very well for his album release, which is what I think the whole purpose of this is.

i don’t know if other people will agree with me on this but for those on twitter who talk shit about armys on other social media, like tumblr, it really is ironic. i know twt armys are so stronGGG on the promoting/streaming side of bts/solo music which is phenomenal to see. But, it’s a little disheartening to see them talk crap about other armys on other platforms who , in fact, simply just mind. their. own. business.

no army is superior than the other. we all have different wavelengths, different ways of supporting the boys and their music which is GREAT. some ppl support from the sidelines and log off, some support through making bts art and log off. and there are those who make it their DUTY to involve themselves in every little discourse about the most irrelevant things, shitting on other armys, refusing to listen to other armys, and making their OPINION the STANDARD opinion among ALL armys for future discourses that might arise again and you have… oh… the rest of them following each other like SHEEP.

anyway, this was on my mind for some time but todays discourse about jk’s schedule release just triggered this response in me. being excited for his release is one thing, but overanalysing the potential mv plot, his outfits, her appearance in it is just too much and IRRELEVANT. you’re doing all that overthinking for no reason. and what’s ironic is that twt armys who shoot down other armys for overanalysing stuff are the same ppl who just CANNOT wait to sink their teeth into tweets that overanalyse and overcompensate. they’re always waiting to put some SENSE into armys, and sometimes that’s crucial before things get crazy delu, but other times more and more armys see it and offer their 2 cents to the conversation and may even be nastier than the original army shooter.

overall, it’s just become a toxic place. i find myself drifting from it as time passes.

and don’t get me wrong i like seeing twt armys put others who act delusional and invasive of the boys privacy in place. those who wholeheartedly just want to protect the boys and actually mean it are the best. but those who just can’t wait to start a little discourse over an accidental/misinterpreted tweet by an army and open the floor for other armys to be agreeing and act completely nasty towards them is what i can’t stand.

sorry, this may not have made sense lol but i’m just posting my thoughts on this.

Sorry, I know it isn't beneficial to encourage this discourse. But to the anon who was talking about Harry's sexual entity. Doesn't their fandom keep saying that people should stop sexualizing him and that, that is the reason he has gone off is social media? And don't they keep bringing up some millennium old interview where he said he was uncomfortable with his sex symbol status. My friend whose a Larry (sadly:( ) was in uproar about this because they were removing signs with sexual coronations at this tours and my friend ranted about how they should stop sexualizing Harry yada yada yada, so what is it? Does he want to embrace being sexual or does he abhor being a sexual? I can't seem to make sense of it, the large divide between what the artist wants to be perceived as and what fictitious theories the fans have made up is really not syncing up

(In reference to this and this)

You make a very valid point.

Harry: makes a song about oral sex, makes a MV with girls hiding their private parts with fruits, wears a t-shirt with drawings of two people jerking each other with the caption "have safe sex", wears a t-shirt about "fellating George Harris", poses naked for Fine Line (and goes on TV to promote it), tries the "sexy shirtless rockstar" look at the Grammys.

Harries: stop! sexualizing! him! you can't bring a sign that says "I want your seed" to HSLOT and show it when he performs WS!

Also Harries: well he knows sex sells so he's just playing the game.

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

"I can't seem to make sense of it, the large divide between what the artist wants to be perceived as and what fictitious theories the fans have made up is really not syncing up"

That's because there are different versions of Harry Styles™️.

Sexy, rockstar Harry for those who want to sleep with him. Shy, soft (but hung) Harry for the larries. Het Harry for the holivia shippers. Queer Icon Harry for the 'he's unlabelled' crowd.

A lil' bit of everything that amount to... nothing :)

this is such a stupid ass question and idk if u even know what i’m talking about but i feel like you’re the best blog 2 ask when it comes to anything vaguely fall out boy related 😭😭 but n e ways are u familiar with that one comic based on the mv for a little less 16 candles called the sixteen candles hunter agency that stopped being updated in like 2017 bc if so do you know whatever happened to the artist and if they ever explained why they discontinued it/if they ever continued it somewhere else or anything bc i shamelessly got really into it and then did a deep dive trying 2 figure out what happened and why it stopped n shit (and managed to find the authors fucking LINKEDIN and not any trace of them saying why they dropped it 🗿) like i don’t even want them to finish the damn comic i just need closure to confirm that they actually existed and i’m not the only bitch who read it bc i couldn’t find a trace of anyone talking about it?? idek if this makes sense but please and thank u

I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT EXISTED im guessing they prob jumped off the bandom train due to being bored or discourse. or maybe they got a grown up job and were worried about an e-trail

you could check the wayback machine and see if its there!!!! im sorry i couldnt be of more help

also @angerofangels was more in tune with the fob art community all i did was fight people and write/read stuff

The answer to that ask about BTS personally liking the kind of music Army doesn't want is,to me,the most nuanced take on this whole PTD discourse now. I also think they are selling out,but not because they sold their soul but because they have always been goal-oriented super-achievers. Also their definition of good music is different from mine. You are spot-on when you say that they have never mentioned Black Swan when talking about their favorite songs(that's a different discourse tho-

(same anon)(why are only 'dark' songs usually given as proof of someone's artistry?)but back to this ask,what do you think is 'BTS spin' on things? I personally like the darker songs. So,I disliked stuff like BWL,Best of me,or even 2!3!. Until I saw them performing these songs. But I don't see that happening with PTD. And I'm not sure why I just can't think of it as 'BTS song',even if it fits the type of music they like,and maybe want to do. Am I a BTS fan or BigHit producer fan then?

Hi!

It's interesting you ask why only darker songs are considered artistic. I think that's due to a number of reasons. Darker songs, like Black Swan and Fake Love, are about the way we see ourselves and the world; they pose existential questions we spend our lives trying to solve, they give a voice to our deepest fears and emotions and help us process them. We connect to those songs on a deep level. They're not just about one emotion (happiness, sadness, love). Also, negative emotions leave a much bigger impression on us. Happiness is a lighthearted feeling, but you feel sadness down to your bones. Art is really all about connecting to something, and the bigger and deeper the connection is the more likely we are to call it art.

Plus, art is supposed to be interesting. So when you have lyrics that make you think, followed (usually) by more elaborate melodies, arrangements, concepts, MVs, dances, etc. it all adds up to an interesting song. With lighter songs you have more simplistic melodies, dances, concepts, as well as lyrics. So it's not as artistic in that sense.

You could have interesting, bright songs if they were musically interesting and had deeper lyrics. There's nothing stopping an artist from putting out something extremely fun yet complex. But usually, fun things are supposed to be mindless...

I do consider Go Go and Spine Breaker to have artistic value, but not as much as Black Swan. I also think Idol is one of BTS's best songs, but no one usually agrees with me.

I like BWL because I genuinely feel like it has meaning to them and Army. The lyrics (esp. RM's part) are genuinely speaking to us. I think after their 2018 "near" disbandment, BWL is really an important song that says "We're okay now. We're sorry we forgot who we were and forgot about you for a moment". I think the song is very honest, but RM's part is never talked about as much because the rest of the song is much lighter.

Tbh, I don't really like 2! 3!, and Best of Me is definitely better live.

PTD is, scarily enough, already growing on me. But people get used to pretty much everything. It's catchy and BTS like it, so it's growing on me. But isn't that just settling? We've all lowered on standards for BTS a lot. Years ago PTD would've been too weak for BTS to even consider releasing (or rather, too opposed to their image - and I don't mean because of the language). Now, we got used to Dynamite and Butter, and soon PTD won't look as bad. There are a lot of songs that grow on you, but PTD is one of those songs that shouldn't.

I also struggle to think of PTD as a BTS song. It feels like a parody, like a nightmare, honestly. I've also questioned myself: am I a BTS fan or a Pdogg fan, for example? But RM wrote the lyrics to our favorite songs, they've written a lot of the songs we like, and their interpretation of the songs and choreos they're given is what makes them BTS. BTS is not just BTS but their team and Army. So, of course, liking BTS's music is more complex than liking what the members write. You're a BTS fan if you like what BTS put out - regardless of who is involved. BTS individually is a different matter, because they all have different tastes. You can like BTS's music but not RM's, to an extent.

As for BTS's spin on things, they seem to like what they're releasing... In today's Bangtan Bomb, when unboxing Butter, RM jokingly told Jin to get over Wings and The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, so it's clear what he thinks.

Thanks for the ask!

You’re reading the post right, I think louies just have it in their mind that we can’t possibly be aware of the fact that Harry is dumb and horny about women or else we would hate him like they do. But like we’re also all dumb and horny about women what’s not clicking (it’s also possible they were talking about larries who were saying the video was lesbians only and Harry was just like there as well or something).

WJDJDHSJDH PLEASE exactly 😭 & it's just so funny bcz (sorry if this is mean) but our perception of him isn't based off of an alternate reality where his entire existence is a bunch of fabricated lies unlike literally the way they view louis...the 'ws mv is for the lesbians only' feels like another thing of biphobia n misogyny 2 me...do u ever think like. there is SO much discourse surrounding a three minute MUSIC VIDEO about FRUIT...ridiculous 😭

(1) (long ask, bear w me, sorry!) i had a dream shinwoo argued with jinyoung for taking up too much screentime in the a lie mv and that's why jy left :( I woke up convinced they ended on bad terms. i really hope they're all still bros.

(2) re: ‘traitor’ discourse, i was glad that anon put it into words. i guess my subconscious too 'blames’ jy (baro less so, despite him being the one who is apparently more eager to move on. bc my gut said he checked out (of the whole idol thing) long before they split. so him leaving, dropping his stage name feels like a logical conclusion, good for him tbh). while jy used to insist b1a4 were forever and jinx schminx etc (as recently as their anni?), but is now happy to be doing his own thing?(3) i immediately hate myself for saying that bc i really do love him and think link8 is adorable and trying very hard where wm failed. i know bayoung left wm, not b1a4, and they might not be pandering and we will actually get ot5 somewhere down the line. or j ground producing for ot3 (wow). I also never wanted/ expected 'b1a4 forever’ if that was not what they wanted.(4) i also realised, writing this, they likely each had their own different reasons for leaving (baro’s change in career goals vs jy’s issues with wm’s management): so i can’t blame one more than the other for not wanting to stick around. sorry for the rambling ask (more venting/ stream of consciousness than question lol, but i would appreciate your thoughts)

No need to apologize! If there’s anyone who understands ranting most, it’s probably me 😆 Plus, it’s always nice to hear other’s thoughts. I’ll try my best to succinctly go through all of your points you made here by paragraph:

I wonder what all their relationships are right now too. Probably is safe to say there is a ‘divide’ of some sorts between A3 and Bayoung, though it’s also likely safe to say this divide isn’t necessarily equal between all the members; i.e., CNU being the more introspective and sensitive person he is, probably feels more of a wall between Bayoung then say, Sandeul. Gongchan is probably somewhere in the middle, albeit closer to CNU’s feelings. The fact we’ve heard next to nothing from him isn’t particularly reassuring, either. Whether they all feel like ‘bros’ still or not, I guess remains to be seen. But I’m still partial to thinking that their bond is too deep for it to be cut off, and I believe in due time they all will be close (enough) again. Interesting dream though! Yeah, Jinyoung def got the spotlight in that MV 😅

Interesting how so many of you seem to share those same thoughts about Jinyoung and Baro (though it seems to different extents and towards either one or the other more)… idk, I still can’t quite get on that train. This isn’t to say that I agree with all of their choices, but I think because I just wasn’t surprised with them leaving (more so that I was surprised that the rest stayed with WM tbh) hearing that news didn’t cause such a sharp pain that is seeming to stick with the rest of you. Jinyoung to me was always the biggest go-getter of the group, so of course he’d jump at the opportunity to put his skills and talents to the test and create his own thing (company? studio? remains to be seen– hope we find out more soon). And Baro, like you said, definitely seemed over it. I wrote about it months ago at this point, of him being just done with idol life so again, him leaving was something that was super shocking. Also in the post I just linked, is where Jinyoung talks about them still having ‘lots to work on’ and yada yada about the 7 year jinx, and how it’s CNU who confesses he is worried about members leaving. Very interesting to look back on that now, from their DINGO drunk Rollin’ rendition, almost a year(!) ago. Idk if CNU was already getting hints of things shifting and changing, but he clearly felt it, whereas Jinyoung was hesitant to say anything but the normal, expected answer. I get it, it seems a bit shady tbh, to hear how Jinyoung was still spewing out ot5 forever answers and then is the one the winds up leaving, going on overdrive promoting, and even using B1A4′s tagline as his own (which obviously, I was a bit meh about that whole thing). But again, I think we really just need to give him a chance and hear him out. I really do hope that at his fanmeet, we will be given more answers from him.

Don’t feel to guilty about your feelings~! It’s understandable you are feeling this way. It’s important to try and stay realistically optimistic about it. Bayoung still consider themselves B1A4, and while we likely won’t get an ot5 soon, there are still plenty of other options that can happen down the line. I’m looking forward to it.

Agree with both of your thoughts of Baro vs Jinyoung leaving. Baro was likely wanting to just get out of the idol lifestyle, whereas Jinyoung still seems very much connected with the fans and the industry, instead just wanting his own creative freedoms. It isn’t something you can really blame them for one way or the other; at the end of the day, they’re both free to do as they please now that their contracts are up. My biggest question would be when did each come to this conclusion– for example, I feel that Baro has been pretty over it all for some time, and the last straw may have just been the rumors of his girlfriend and lovestagram & attitude controversies. Whereas with Jinyoung.. that’s an interesting case. I could see that being a much more recent development, which was why A3 seemed particularly shocked in their statements when the news initially broke out June 30th. I’d love to know– but we probably never will.

How ‘Honeymoon’ is saving my life

Quick warning for this little bit of writing here: discussion of suicidal thoughts etc, being grossly emotional about B.A.P, and just generally a whole bunch of Sad Stuff. Also, this is really long 

Anyone in the Discord chat may have come across me talking about this before so I apologise if it sounds like I’m repeating myself.

For my whole life I’ve suffered with self-destructive and even suicidal impulses and thoughts. I’ts not depression, the closest we can pin it to is OCD. As a whole it hasn’t done me an awful lot a damage, but it’s not easy.

2 years ago things did get bad. I was in a difficult situation with friends, in my home, in my Uni education. The lower I got the harder it was to ignore the things my mind was telling me to do. 

I started getting into the fandom of B.A.P during this time despite having been a fan since their debut. To some degree I was probably looking for a distraction or some sort of escapism, but being among other fans brought me many friends I could talk to every day and make me feel a little bit less shit.

Then Yongguk dropped 4:44. I will say outright that this song kept me alive. Several nights I wouldn’t sleep and would just replay this song over and over while I drew all over my skin with felt tips or ripped my clothes apart to relieve the need to break something. Hearing “everything’s gonna be all right” was the way I clung onto my life like a cliff edge. 

I spent a long time not knowing who my bias was exactly but Yongguk openly discussing his mental health and being so determined to protect his members really pushed him up in the ranks. Were it not for him, I’m honestly not entirely sure if I would be alive right now. I can’t fully express how much I adore this man without writing a completely separate essay about it.

As I fell deeper down the rabbit hole that is online Baby fandom I began to crave content that was more to my taste in humour - especially since I’ve been on tumblr since 2010. I made this blog in June 2015. I figured I’d run it for maybe 4 months then abandon or delete it. It was... far more successful than I can have ever imagined and because of it I have met some exceptional people and your continued support is honestly so incredible.

 I know I act like a heartless trashbag a lot of the time but I read all your tags and treasure every kind word you guys say. This blog has honestly been one of the best spur-of-the-moment decisions I’ve made and you’ve all been so wonderful....even though I keep getting in Heated Discourse. I’m so sorry about that. 

When B.A.P returned to TS I was very mixed in my feelings, both full of anger at TS but also glad to know they’d be active again. For anyone who has, for some reason, gone through this whole blog you’ll now the whole story about how it’s been since then. Mostly dandy times.

B.A.P have been a huge part of my life for the past 2 years to the point that I got a Matoki tattooed on my side, and I’ve honestly spent a lot of money supporting these boys that I couldn’t really afford. Hell, I lived off 1 meal a day pasta and ketchup after I bought tickets for LOE London in 2016. 

I can say I have been a lot happier lately, definitely. But, you know, stuff like mental illness doesn’t clear away just because a group of talented men released some amazing music. Not even the Carnival album was going to do that. It may sound weird, but during Yongguk’s haitus i felt closer to him after that, and certainly people became more understanding and supportive of me when I discussed my panic attacks with them. I’m overflowing with happiness seeing how much better Yongguk seems these days, and I hope I’m improving too. 

Honeymoon has a lot of incredible lines in it that upon first hearing made me almost tear up. Hearing these boys who have been through much talk about how good life is, about how it’s worth pulling yourself through hard times, about how much happier they are and how their situation has improved was exactly the sort of message I needed to hear. I’ve spent a long time looping a song about how Yongguk nearly end edit all for himself and just managed to pull through, now I have a beautiful inspiring song about how fantastic and good life is and that staying alive is the best thing you can do. I would honestly put this next to ‘Praying’ by Kesha as a song to give me strength, courage and hope whenever things get too dark. It is absolutely one of my favourite songs they have ever made and it is definitely my favourite MV track they’ve released. 

It’s not been long since the song’s release, but where I was planning to add 4:44 beneath my Matoki I’m now considering adding ‘Life Is Colourful’, which I think portrays the exact message I want to tell myself every day, and make what is a very monochrome tattoo into something spectacular and beautiful that will shine my own colours and B.A.P’s. 

It may sound sad but the cold truth is I am literally staying alive because and for B.A.P. If you have any issue with this and think it’s pathetic or I need a better reason, well, you’re basically saying you’d rather I be dead than have this as an excuse to stay alive. No reason to stay alive is stupid. No matter how small, any reason to keep going is a good reason.

Anyway if you read this whole thing wow I’m impressed and I hope it wasn’t dull or depressing, but these are all my feelings and I’ve opened up in a way I’m not used to. If anyone else has similar thoughts or feelings or wants to add anything of their own experiences feel free to PM me or send an ask (request not to be posted if you want conversation but dont wanna anon) or you know talk about it wherever else you want. I hope everyone’s having a good day and I hope if you’e in a difficult place you know you’re loved, you deserve the best, and things absolutely do get better. 

Hi, it's the anon that first sent the ask about the credits and how the explain my lack of connection. I agree with you completely, I feel like this album has been a giant business move where bighit is trying to milk the billboard win as much as possible. It's quite literal even in how they've incorporated the subject into the songs. So they probably rushed wanting to put out something so that they can ride that american zeitgeist high you know. I love bts, like truly (cont->)

Anonymous said:cont- They helped me in a time where I felt really lonely and isolated, I'm always a bit of an outsider just my personality and I felt that they were too (this is early 2015). I loved how they were themselves so honestly in performances and that they incorporated that identity into the music as well. Now they kind of feel like the popular kids if that makes sense. Bragging about how successful they are and or talking about soulmates and finding the one. None of which I can relate to.. -->

Anonymous said:Sorry this got so ranty, but I still love them and for the fans that think that us criticizing this comeback means that we are worse fans or whatever that's just not true. I literally love them with every part of my being and will always support them, I just hope the next releases are a bit different that's all. You're allowed to have expectations and sometimes they aren't met. It's okay.

yeah i felt that way too, honestly i felt it was a bit awkward that they really put the speech in there, it was a big moment but i wish they recorded a skit where they talk about it or what it means to them, instead of putting it in there, it felt kinda hueh? to me, especially followed with mic drop hh... and yeah it was the same for me, and i feel like they shed that outsider and shielding image with the rebranding and this album just confirms that, they said it was a turning point and it just depends whether they’re turning to something you like or you don’t like, tbh i don’t like it, but i love them as people so much that i’m trying to swallow all the marketing stuff, it’s just hard these days... like i know they have to sell themselves but they had a lot of involvement with their music and they talked to us fans all the time through means that you didn’t really have to pay for, but now it’s harder to get past all the pr talk and the distance when they are kinda far away and we are getting so much less free content than before... anyway sorry i went on an unrelated rant too phewph... but yeah, i hope it’s not going to be forever like this, then it’d be so hard to stay a fan for me, their personalities can only do so much when there’s less and less channels to see them through

Anonymous said:i really vibe w that anon who was disappointed bc this is their first comeback bc i'm in the same situation... everything was hyped so much and it seemed like everyone had a great time with wings and i was so excited!!! but now it's just... not rly what i was expecting based on their past works n i feel kinda like the person who arrived to the party late while everyones packing up lmao but. i am Trying To Stay Positive nonetheless :/ thanks for listening to me ramble hhh

wow i’m really sorry you feel that way, honestly wings was the best era for me as a fan cause it had no scandals or injuries in the main duration of it, the music was all great and mostly really personal and you could see that from how the boys talked about it, now it’s kind of... yeah... i hope you can get past it and i hope that the next time will be better if you hang in there ;-;

Anonymous said: with all the new attention from the West. and the teasers came out and the music was kind of promising with the whistle part, although I really didn't like the concept of 'her' and romance, and frankly the clothes in teaser 3&4 were not my fav. Then the music video came out, and I just lost interest in the first 10 secs. I get that they wanted to be more Western, so they danced in a box, and it was so Kookie focused (and no hate cause i really do love him), but the other members should

Anonymous said: should have the chance to shine too. It's probably an unfavourable comment but it feels like kookie & the boys instead of BTS? So I have completely lost interest in this comeback, and it's such a conflicting feeling because I really do love the boys, and I want them to break all kinds of records, but I don't want them to break the records with this album because it's just not them. & now reading about the credits, it's just so heart-breaking. Sorry, I had to rant about my feelings :(

sorry seems like tumblr swallowed some parts of what you were trying to say 3: but i feel you about the mv, i honestly... haven’t even finished watching it, i thought it looked really ugly and busy and the song seemed awful to me, i still only listened to it just once, but i was really happy that i liked most of the other songs on the album so it wasn’t a tragedy lol ;-; i don’t know about the kookie focused stuff, i never got into the discourse about certain members getting less spotlight and stuff, cause i feel it changes every time, with wings hobi had a whole lot of attention on him for example, now jimin had a whole trailer to himself too, so i really think that’s fine, but then again i didn’t finish watching the mv so i can’t say whether it really was excessive or not.... and yeah, i wish they could break the records with a better album, hopefully next time? idek... there is only so much they can do with the power of their fandom, cause lbr the title track isn’t something that you would hear on the radio often anyway

Sometimes I feel like as a young black kpop fan I feel pressured to be angry or upset about EVERY SINGLE instance of cultural appropriation in kpop or khh whether big or small. I mean if it's about something really serious like a person's aging the n word, wearing black face or having multiple people in music videos who aren't black wearing black hairstyles in mv s and stuff then that's understandable but for some instances I just shrug and move on. I just realized that pointing out EVERY 1/2

SINGLE INSTANCE of problematic things isn’t healthy and it’s draining for me. Also the believe that some black kpop fans are developing this mentality that kpop/khh hate or don’t care about black people(and I KNOW some don’t) and that doesn’t really help either. I don’t know all I want is too follow nice groups and listen to music and then all of a sudden I got caught up in all the problematic instances etc. and if I am not mad about something I am a koreaboo, too soft, traitor,etc. 2/2

Unfortunately, as a Black person. You’re always gonna be both all the time for different reasons to different people. Sorry, that’s life being Black. I’m sure you’ve been seeing me deal with it these past few days. I’ve dealt with it since I made this blog too and even outside of just Tumblr.

People are gonna think you’re angry just by talking about the topic and deconstructing it. (Hey, Angry Black Woman and Aggressive Black Person stereotype! Nice to see you here!). People always assume I’m LIVID when I talk about this stuff but 95% of the time I’m not. I’m just being stern and speaking with confidence. Others are gonna think you’re too “easy going”. Then if I say I’m cool and forgiving someone or I DON’T talk about a certain thing  then I’ll get messages like “But what about ___? Are you defending them? You talked about *person you give a shit about* but you never talked about *person I don’t give a shit about and don’t follow* so why are you shielding *person I don’t give a shit about but the idiot sending this doesn’t realize that* huh?”

I mean I’m a discussions blog so naturally people are gonna hold me to certain standards. But I’m not nor will I EVER speak about every.single.thing (even though the people who think I’m too aggressive are CONVINCED I talk about EVERY problematic thing. Hahaha that’s cute). It’s tiring. Sometimes I just wanna talk about the newest release too but my discourse posts always get the most attention Like I’d rather talk most about good goings on in khh or kpop but when I do my asks be empty or I just get one or two but then when it’s social discourse I get like 15 asks at once and of course I’m gonna answer them cause otherwise why have the blog? So that’s MY experience.

Long story short and my advice to you (eww look at me trying to give advice like I really know something), you just gotta find your own balance and you gotta find your own resistance and figure out how much is too much. When to run off to a calm tag (mine is ikon on here lol) and look at the stuff there and stay out of the tags where a major issue just happened. And just stay there enjoying things. Watch the new shows that people or posting or whatever. You’re never gonna satisfy everybody so you just gotta figure out your own way to navigate. You gotta know exactly how much you can take. Most importantly, make sure you LEAVE when you can’t take it. Don’t stay there. They probably have no idea you are even watching and they are just living their life and trying to deal with their own feelings and thoughts on a situation. So go deal with your own and if they give you shit then…fuck em I guess. LOL