#sometimes makes me never wanna leave | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-stars-sigh-when-i-get-high · 9 months

Text

The way my puckered hole suckled right back up into my sphincter when I saw those flashing lights😳😮‍💨🫠

0 notes

chrollohearttags · 6 months

Text

I keep seeing a lot of people saying that they’re tired of fluff/angst, etc. getting paid dust. Honestly, it’s super discouraging to write a well, fleshed out story and it receives little to no traction because the main focus isn’t smut. or people are harassing you to add sex to it. However, I write for me and me first above anybody else. I’ll post what the fuck I want and what I feel compelled to create at the moment. Anybody who does not like it knows how to leave the same way they came. I hope everybody else follows suit. You will burn out quick trying to write what appeases everybody else..especially a bunch of people who’ve never written a thing in their life or just love drama. Writing is about what fulfills you and that’s it. Trust me, the right audience will find it and love it as much as you do. Everybody else is irrelevant.

#imma add my two cents even when nobody asks #but yeah I keep seeing this and it makes me sad for all the talented writers #like I’m not a JJK girlie #probably never will be but it sucks bc it’s a lot of talent and it’s getting overshadowed #y’all just can’t say shit when ppl start to leave #cherry chats 🍒#as a sometimes sex repulsed ace #I can’t stand even thinking about it #less known writing it #so if I wanna write fluff or angst #that’s what the fuck imma do and y’all can deal

88 notes · View notes

thedreadvampy · 1 day

Text

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

#red said #recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis #like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes #and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not #for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening #i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine #as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital #as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin #ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes #some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am #bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me #like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD #there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife #but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't #tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us #like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well #i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point #anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also #been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them #i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it #most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables #honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk #is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry

31 notes · View notes

ciervobizarro · 3 months

Text

i have a lot of feeling that i wanna put into drawings.

maybe once i finish my current work, i will.

#i've been feeling so shitty this year #and last year #the brain rot will never leave #never #might as well make some art #creating art is the only thing that makes me feel better #and somewhat connected to other people #i've also been thinking about making stories but that's just not for me #just a single image is enough for each feeling/thought #sometimes i just wanna destroy a character because that's me #i can create a body and tear it apart #and it's a drawing so it doesn't matter #no filter no explanation

26 notes · View notes

clementine-writes-things · 1 month

Text

"I've got a busy day tomorrow. I should really go to sleep."

*proceeds to listen to the Born To Die Paradise Edition album while sobbing into my pillow*

#lana del rey #aka lizzy grant #lana del slay #born to die #i love lana so much #this is a daily thing for me tbh #DON'T MAKE ME SAD DON'T MAKE ME CRY SOMETIMES LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH AND THE ROAD GETS TOUGH I DON'T KNOW WHY #LETS GET OUTTA THIS TOWN BABY WE'RE ON FIRE #BEEN TRYING HARD NOT TO GET INTO TROUBLE BUT I #OURS A LOVE I HELD TIGHTLY FEELING THE RAPTURE GROW LIKE A FLAME BURNING BRIGHTLY #I'VE GOT A BURNING DESIRE FOR YOU BABY #THINK I'LL MISS YOU FOREVER LIKE THE STARS MISS THE SUN IN THE MORNING SKY #LIKE A GROUPIE INCOGNITO POSING AS A REAL SINGER LIFE IMITATES ART #MON AMOUR SWEET CHILD OF MINE YOU'RE DIVINE DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TELL YOU IT'S OK TO SHINE #AND THERE'S NO REMEDY FOR MEMORY YOUR FACE IS LIKE A MELODY IT WON'T LEAVE MY HEAD #COME ON BABY LETS RIDE WE CAN ESCAPE TO THE GREAT SUNSHINE #THIS IS WHAT MAKES US GIRLS WE ALL LOOK FOR HEAVEN AND WE PUT LOVE FIRST #TELL ME IM YOUR NATIONAL ANTHEMMMMM #BABYS ALL DRESSED UP WITH NOWHERE TO GO #WE GET DOWN EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT DANCIN AND GRINDIN IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT #IVE NOTHING WITHOUT YOU ALL MY DREAMS AND ALL THE LIGHTS MEAN NOTHING WITHOUT YOU #I WILL LOVE YOU TILL THE END OF TIMEEEEE #NOW MY LIFE IS SWEET LIKE CINNAMON LIKE A FUCKING DREAM IM LIVING IN #DIET MOUNTAIN DEW BABY NEW YORK CITY NEVER WAS THERE EVER A GIRL SO PRETTY #HELLO HEAVEN YOU ARE A TUNNEL LINED WITH YELLOW LIGHTS ON A DARK NIGHT #WOULD YOU BE MINE WOULD YOU BE MY BABY TONIGHTTTTTT #YOU MAKE ME CRAZY YOU MAKE ME WILD JUST LIKE A BABY SPIN ME AROUND LIKE A CHILD #I NEED YOU I BREATHE YOU I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU!#HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH WITH YOU TELL ME ALL THE THINGS YOU WANNA DOOOOOOO #ONE FOR THE MONEYYYYY TWO FOR THE SHOWWWWWW

8 notes · View notes

ichigosoju · 10 days

Text

🌷

#i cant believe i could've almost been his girlfriend!!!!#im sad that he never asked me and never waited ....#because i know me and im dependable and devoted #i go all in if i love #but instead he .. fell in love fast and quick and i get it. i get why he fell for her i really do so i dont blame him #but... they only lasted a month then they broke up #she left. and i get that she and i are different people #but i cannot fathom how you can have HIM and leave him #i cant even imagine my life without him. he is genuinely all i think about #and she left.... !!!!! i cant understand that (from my pov. she is her own person i know)#i just wish he'd stuck it out and given me a chance (bc he did feel those things for me he said that)#i know the heart want what it wants but oh how i wish #i would've been with him until now. i would've never have left him #i wish i wish he didnt do that bc now he's even more heartbroken and i know it'll just be harder for me to maybe prove myself to him #(btw this sounds super selfish but this is only me venting my feelings!!!)#im still here for him. i've never left. i've been so so patient. isnt that worth anything?#most of the time it feels like he doesnt even appreciate me :( at all #i just cannot believe that HE once upon a time wanted ME to be his gf #if things just had gone a bit differently i would've been so lucky to call myself his #and him mine... that's so crazy to me #that's my dream...#i dont wanna give up on him bc i love him sm i cant imagine any other way my life can go #but.... i cant push if he isnt even replying... i cant bother him too much #then im just crazy #and my anxities arent even letting me message him at all #bc even if i asked if it's ok and he said im not bothering him #im convinced i am. i mean it really seems and feels like i am doing that #so i just cannot even message him..... which makes my life so empty i wanna cry #sometimes i wish i'd never met him bc my love for him has ruined my life now that i cant have him

5 notes · View notes

airbenderedacted · 1 year

Text

deathstar shippers stop going out of ur way to tell me you hate dominator being a lesbian and that you’re homophobic asf challenge (impossible, apparently)

#(cw: put under a read more for homophobia & transphobia 😬)#LITERALLY went ''lemme say the quiet part out loud'' BRO THIS IS LIKE THE 6TH(????) TIME I'VE HAD SUCH AN ENCOUNTER #except i will say that this is the first time it wasn't unprovoked. i did @ them first to ask why they were leaving replies on my posts-#-saying hater's crush on dominator is creepy bc they 'look like they have an age gap' meanwhile they've liked AND MADE #-comments elsewhere shipping her with men that are way WAY older than her and sometimes visibly so like. hater and her are the same agegroup #so i was like. what is going on here huh??? ANFD THEN THEY JUST SAY THIS SHIT why am i ever surprised anymore lmao #shout out to this person for adding transphobia to their shittiness for Spice ig /s 🙄 eugh...#i should've seen it coming bc they were referencing a page on the woy wiki THAT USES STEVENSON'S CORRECT NAME & PRONOUNDS #AND YET THEY WERE ADAMANT ON USING HIS DEADNAME AND SHE/HER PRONOUNS LIKE.. I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS but still 🤢#i dont ever wanna stop giving ppl the benefit of the doubt but oh my god do These people test me. every time. goes like this Every Single T-#on god only like twice or smthn have i seen [REDACTED] shippers be like.. very decent to me and literally just ignorant #and they were from here and i just ask them to not interact bc it makes me uncomfortable and they're like i dont get it but ofc #and i never see them again #AND THEN EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO IS INTO THIS SHIT I HAVE *EVER* COME ACROSS #FUCKING JUST... JUMPS INTO MY MENTIONS OUT OF NOWHERE. LITERALLY I DONT EVEN?? DO ANYTHING I DONT GO NEAR THEM BRO #THEY FUCKING SNIFF ME OUT OR SOME SHIT FOR HAVING A DNI ON OTHER SITES AND GO #''OH SO YOU THINK I'M WRONG FOR HAVING TO REIMAGINE GAY/LESBIAN CHARACTERS AS STRAIGHT SO I CAN ENJOY THEM?'' LIKE- WTF? YES? IT IS #also i kid you not this is an actual thing someone has gone out of their way to look me up and yell at me over for like an hour straiught #on twitter. it was unhinged. like they were convinced straight ppl are oppressed any time gay characters exist #bc gay characters existing makes them unlikable and unrelatable and unconsumable to straights like damn ok if u feel that way die abt it?#it's just so unhinged like bruh GO AWAY LMAO??? SHUT UP! I DONT CARE LITERALLY JUST KEEP UR FREAK BIGOT SHIT TO URSELF GET OUT #again that specifically doesn't apply to this person who technically WAS @ by me first bc i was like.. hey... hey what's going on here HUH #but oh my god they turn out to be vocally homophobic every single time. i was always hoping i was like...#over generalizing these people as being fucking homophobic just bc 1) the vibes r always like that 2) it's faster to say #BUT OH MY GOD THEY REALLY ARE HOMOPHOBIC AS A WHOLE WHAT THE FUCK I LITERALLY ALWAYS WENT OUT OF THE WAY TO BE LIKE aint no way ahah BUT NO?#BRO???? GET OUT OF HERE THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR YOU Y'ALL ARE CREEPS #THEY FEEL SO EMBOLDED TO SAY THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT PROMPTING. I ALWAYS MAKE FUCKING SURE TO NOT ACCUSE BIGOTRY #AT MOST I'LL JUST BE LIKE yeah so straightwashing is a thing that's homophobic so don't do that IF ANYTHING. I NEVER CALL THE PERSON THAT #AND EVERY TIMEEEE THEY JUST GO MASK OFF WITH ''BTW I DONT LIKE THE GAYS'' I OEIUFKGEJRHGUKJDFS EVERY TIME EVERY TIME WTFFFFF #usually being right about things is epic. not this THIS IS JUST.. GWORLS WHAT HE FUCK

30 notes · View notes

petrichorium · 9 months

Text

The fav I have the most frequent (and most intense) fights with is actually jing yuan btw

#pattering on the roof #he has a tendency to make me feel stupid and it’s not entirely by accident #he just can’t help himself #like JDNJFNEF I reference it in my meet fruit fic (which was Very selfship coded) but #the first massive fight we have is before we start dating when he’s still like courting me ig #and wheedles me into playing starchess w him #but I’m BAD at starchess okay I hate it I suck at it sucking at it makes me hate it more #and I like him so much and he’s so good and I wanna make a good impression but I SUCK and I leave every time upset #and he knows ofc he does. I’m improving and he loves seeing me improve which is why he keeps asking #eventually he’s like well maybe it’ll help if I let her win #no. it doesn’t. I blow up at him entirely bc I HATEEEE being condescended to and if u wanted someone who could beat u in starchess then go #find someone else u fucking asshole don’t humiliate me like that (<- face puffy weeping literally the only two people in the garden)#and I storm off sobbing. literally refuse to interact w him for MONTHS he’s making every excuse to bump into me and it’s full cold shoulder #I also never fully forgive him for it. we never play starchess again even centuries down the line after we’re married and he’s retired #n e way yeah #p much every fight is similar he just makes me feel dumb sometimes and I lash out at him #and frankly often it’s warranted bc not infrequently he provokes me on purpose #ss.🌧 yujing

9 notes · View notes

bittwitchy · 2 months

Text

see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd #but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well #just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well #which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out #which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore #its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi #see the other thing is #if i talk about my mental health at all #people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint #or feel sorry for me which i also dont want #all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all #like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff #i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly #im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares #i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to #and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one #they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored #im losing my mind steadily #and thats not even onto the physical problems #but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying #‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket #if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your #fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces #sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues #but then i talk to other women and it is #it just doesnt make sense and i hate it #but i never rly got help on private insurance either so #tbd #depression cw

3 notes · View notes

solradguy · 1 year

Text

Spending a lot of time and money to make a custom bright red leather jacket just to be the specialist man in the bakery section of the grocery store was such a great investment. I love my red jacket. Everyone should make their own special jacket

#textpost #I love my black jacket with the jackalope and terminator skull and cyborg demon skull on it too #But the red one has a thermal liner and the pockets are more comfortable #Even though it's the same exact size as the black one it's like very very slightly shorter??#Which is fine until I need to zip it up and then it looks kinda dumb #But honestly I never zip these things up anyway because they also have laced sides and #well. with all my belts stuff too.. then with the jacket zipped up it's kinda like #Who's this guy with the very fitted slightly too short screaming bright red jacket with the slutty laced up sides #Doing here at the vaguely Christian family lunch and breakfast restaurant #See the problem is that I love being a bit of a special snowflake and I'm tall enough and look angry by default enough that #I can get away with looking a lil saucy and out of place all of the time. What're they gonna do? Get made at me about it lol #I've never had anyone get angry with me about how I dress/look in public which I appreciate a lot #But I get a lot of stares. That used to bother me but I don't notice now and it's funny going out sometimes with my #super self aware/shy sister because she's like 'everyone is staring at me/us :(' and I'm like 'what. who?'#I dyed my mohawk purple the other day btw and this new leave-in conditioner is great #My hair's like idk 8 inches? on top now and the conditioner is almost enough to make it stay up on its own again #Sorry this got long I'm exceptionally sleep deprived and stoned #Instead of Jack-O' posting I'm jacket posting tonight hah!#The shade of red I used for my jacket was fire red btw lol #I wanna put more spikes on it

32 notes · View notes

mydr3aminvi0let · 24 days

Text

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back #sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with #idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that #community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize #bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought #he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive #i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better #so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH #my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body #believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how #as a woman #can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids #when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me #when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison #in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty #i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing #but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with #reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers #tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like #i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming #you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in #i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement #singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now #there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart

1 note · View note

skrunksthatwunk · 6 months

Text

jumpscared by least favorite seasonal chore

#I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST LEAVING IT THIS YEAR SINCE IT WAS SO LATE. FUCK THE GRASS IT'S SHITTY GRASS #it's almost xmas why did you not rake the yard while i was um. not around #IT SUCKS OKAY. I"M NOT A TEAM PLAYER #ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND MANDATORY POINTLESS YARDWORK #it hurts my back and my joints and it takes me forever and it's always stupid bright outside and i hate kicking the rakes and it's never #good enough because if i'm raking the yard it should be perfect right?? it always turns into a 3 day thing and the yard isn't even that big #we just all suck at it except for my dad so he spends the whole time being like well why don't you just do it this way. dad i CANT that's #why i'm doing it my way. it's shittier but it's Possible and yours is not. bruhgh i hate raking the yard sorry that's all #i am feeble and sore and i hate moving please don't make me do this #he's like why do you sit on the ground to scrape the leaves into the bags girl what else do you want me to do. i can barely do the dishes #without sitting sometimes and you want me to rake for 6 hours??? what?????#look i know this is mostly trivial but it sucks okay. fuck my stupid baka life #i have been exactly this bitter about such chores my whole life and im not stopping now. i hate being made to do stuff on a whim that hurts #me for an entire day when i wasn't expecting it okay. i feel like that's a normal response adults are allowed to have even though children #are not. something something children's autonomy etc #and honestly i just hate being in my yard doing manual labor in full view. you should not be able to see me moving around what ew gross #(<- super weird about being perceived doing anything physical) (<- hates being seen moving awkwardly and so anything but small practiced #movements are just. agh. unless they're silly and i can make them smoother but like exertion? No. oh my god i hate that)#shit like oh i don't wanna put a bra on bc that's uncomfy but what if my neighbors ogle me while they drive past i don't want that #just some gangly twink failing a basic task in the clumsiest way possible and fucking all their joints at the same time. sucks. hate #(<- man i don't even feel right EATING around people for the most part like. you want me to RAKE?? movement is a performance and you put me #up there with no rehearsal no script nothing just the wikipedia page for hamlet. i can't do this all of a sudden. what. what)#(<- i just. waughhUAGHH i hate it so so much i don't like it okay. for reasons that are yet to be diagnosed)#(<- no body language is natural to me so it must be practiced to feel natural AND YOURE PUTTING ME ON THE SPOT. IT FEELS WEIRD)#aughh. if i had the leaves on a table and a chair or something i'd be better. not great but better. but all the bending over and crouching #and scooping and getting leaves under my gloves and the scary scuttly bugs and scraping myself on the branches mixed in on accident i just #do not like it. gross #ugh at least now i have wireless earbuds. used to yank out my corded ones with the rakes pretty regularly and Oh Boy Did That Not Improve M #Situation There like. whewwww #and my dad's always like hey i know we're starting late (it's past noon here) but ummm i'd really appreciate it if we could really push

2 notes · View notes

inavagrant-a · 1 year

Text

Raising teenagers and trying to prepare them for adulthood is so stressful.

#out.#vent cw #i love them with all my heart #but sometimes i be saying something for their own good #and i'm suddenly the joker to their batman #awraxa ug h #i count my blessings that money is never an issue in my household cause i earn my keep #shoutout to my trauma of being raised in poverty for most of my childhood #they will be starting adulthood with a privilege others don't have and they need to know that #though i have money saved for them specifically money does not grow on trees #and this world will eat them alive if they don't put their character and effort first before anything else #anywa y i just needed to ven t a lil bit #seeing them growing up makes me really squishy and scared by the da y #but i have to have faith in them too that they'll be okay once they tell me they wanna leave the nes t

9 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months

Text

...

#i experience an emense amount of guilt ovet not being able to focus on work. go into the lab and run into a lab mate and hes like #u leave Thursday? why tf r u here? and that makes me feel a lil better lol #ive just being data entering all day. that takes so fucking long. and then helping an undergrad #exept my code was out of date so i was like welp i can only get u this far bc i did not write this code. i do not work with the #supercomputer on a regular enough basis. and i gave my 30 days notice today so ill be working remotely until the 18th #i probably should have done it way before but like ive still got so much to do i might as well get paid for doing it #the undergrad was like id probably work to the end bc i feel lost when im not working and i was like. bro. im so fucking brunt out that ppl #around me r like yo r u ok? theres a thing as too much work. dont cross that line. snd ill still probably work to the end bc i dont wanna #have to do it on top of other shit. but god. in a few days i never have to go back in that building again #sometimes having to be in that lab would make me feel physically ill i thibk just bc i have so much stress associated with standing at that #lab bench but woof i will not miss it. its not great. the ppl r nice but like the institution kinda sucks. but i probably #wasnt the best fit for the school. i only cane out here for my advisor and on that front i have no regrets #god im so tired tho. just make it Thursday already so my parents can b helping me move >~< lets fucking goooooo #srry for not posting much drawing wise. i prob wont b able to for a while as i transition across the country lol #also. a note to myself. i should get a proper sketchbook so i can actually draw out ideas and store them in a place. that would b convenient #god. its so hot 😖 let me leave #unrelated

5 notes · View notes

glimmeringtwilight · 2 years

Text

So i'm not going to do a follower celebration until I finish the halloween pieces for the month (I go on vacation tomorrow, planning to get the bulk of it done on vacation and then I'll post them all a handful of days apart) but gkdkdksk jesus 😭

I didn't even have time to do anything for 600 because 700 snuck up so quick GJDHFKS

I appreciate it sm though 😭 I can't promise anything on a big scale bc I thought I'd have more time for a cyoa type thing before 1k, but I'll try to keep doing polls at least as thanks and so you all get more input on what I work on next

#gt rambles #not writing #also if you're one of the people who goes thru my whole masterlist liking different stuff: ily #it's so cute seeing who people's favorite characters are bc sometimes they just go through a whole character tag (usually dottore)#I plan to eventually have enough content for each character to have a couple of fics from me #it'll be a while though. bear with me i'm slow AKFHJAJC #me at 600: oh i can do something for it later #me at 690: oh. i'll still do something for it later...#why are we going so fast #also to everyone who leaves a comment on my fics: ilysm #i know I don't always reply but you're never annoying me or anything. i'm just scared of you AHAHDJAJFJS #/hj #i mostly just don't like that i didn't make this blog on my main and thus i can't reply from this account #so it still confuses people from time to time #and i don't want to change my main blog url to clear up the confusion bc i have long-standing mutuals on there i also dont wanna confuse #plus i like my main blog's name more than this blog's name tbh #i wanted to change this one's url a while ago but rebranding might be a little too late now that i'm over two years in(after hiatus)

7 notes · View notes

sexybabystevie · 2 years

Text

this is to ONE PERSON and one person ONLY. if you're confused, it's not you!

#you know. i saw you posted today from a different account. and it was one i totally forgot about #i didnt even feel like running back this time. was i curious? yes. did i end up looking? yep.#im saying this even though im 98% sure you cant see it but whatever. since when has that stopped me before?#you seemed fine. to say seeing that didnt piss me off would be a lie. oops i guess #i think its funny how the last thing you posted was stolen from me.#today it was one of those tag games we used to do together. your taglist was empty with some excuse of being absent on this app #i cant help but wonder if thats really all of it. if thats the whole story or not. i have a feeling the answer is no #i dont think youll ever understand the impact of what you did to me and the ways that you treated me. how that immensely fucked me up #or how youve basically thrown me to the wolves ever since you emotionally checked out.#you act like i never mattered to you and its been like that for forever. i made so many excuses on your behalf that i never should have.#these days the thought of you makes me go insane. the kind of insane that leaves me up all night and makes me wanna scream at the top #of my lungs. i have been consumed by anguish and hate. yes. im not afraid to say it anymore. i hate what happened and what you did to me #and sometimes i even hate you. and i dont even feel bad about it. im so over that because if theres anything i deserve after this hell then #its the capability to hate. for once in my life.#i saw your post and wondered if you thought of me. and i hope you did. i hope you thought of me and at the very least it stung.#because whether you want to admit it or not i was someone good. i bent over backwards for you every other day. try finding someone to do #everything that i did for you that you never appreciated. try finding someone who will care as much as i did about someone who couldnt be #bothered to tell me happy birthday. i dare you. because im tired of being sad that youre not here. im tired of being the one whos mourning #im so over it actually. because really i did so much for you. i gave up so much to be a good friend and it was never enough. i genuinely #cared about you. im not going to torture myself anymore by overanalyzing your posts or by thinking that i was nothing to you #because in one way or another youll miss me. and i hope the feeling is hell.#in the wise and paraphrased words of taylor swift. karma only comes back around to those who deserve it #in other words ill be fine #em speaks #tw vent ish #sorry to everyone else although i applaud you for being nosy lmao. gotta have my girlboss moment <3

2 notes · View notes