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doberbutts · 2 years

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In relation to kind of old posts, but would you mind explaining what actually happened with John Green? I keep seeing people saying wildly different things and I wasn't around Tumblr when it actually happened.

He's an author that was mildly irritating with a lot of How Do You Do Fellow Nerd Kids as a grown man, who had some controversial takes and some controversial plot points within his books. There were some legitimate criticisms that I think get lost in the high-fiving that happens now regarding the way he was chased off tumblr. Back in the wild west of tumblr, we could edit posts and someone edited one of his posts with text describing in detail how much he loved to suck cock and the taste and smell of cum from first person perspective, making it seem like John Green himself said it. After several days of not being particularly happy about it, and after several other young adult authors cast their opinion on specific people high-fiving each other about it (some being minors), he left tumblr presumably for good. At times he references this moment on social media and recently has again on TikTok regarding cyber bullying. It seems like it still really bothers him that people did that.

I have never read a single John Green book. He doesn't write fiction that I find myself particularly interested in, so I only know the controversy and am not speaking from the viewpoint as a fan. I also didn't follow him- in fact my following list is reserved for people I specifically want to see more of and I personally don't give a shit about the opinions of Some Guy Who Writes Books I Don't Read. I am aware that there are some... problematic... elements within his books however I think proper criticism would have been better than what actually happened. And, also, I don't think content creators at all are required to cater to the demands of any fan, regardless of who is "right" in this situation. Vote with your wallet, people. If you don't like someone's books, don't buy them and recommend that those interested in their books read something else rather than harass the author to try and force them to change.

At some point in time there were accusations of pedophilia that I don't believe actually came to any sort of proof. Some minors felt he was being predatory with the way he was interacting with the fandom, but from what I saw he was not actively performing anything more predatory than being a little too casual with fans he knew were minors. The man is neurodivergent and social boundaries and tone over the internet are difficult even for neurotypical people, and to my knowledge he never actively did anything malicious in that regard. He also weighed in on the Great Ace Debate in favor of asexual people at roughly the same time, and a tactic of people who do not like this opinion was that they often would retaliate with rumors of pedophilia (this also happened to a few other tumblr funnymen at about this time). Again I found his How Do You Do Fellow Nerds schtick a bit annoying but like. I'm not gunna tell people how to interact with their fans. I just don't follow them and if I'm really annoyed I block/blacklist. Easy.

Honestly I've seen other creatives trying to be popular on social media/in public view be treated the same way. They are beloved when they're first popularized and then someone decides that actually no These Are Bad People and whether that person actually did anything or not it totally refutes any and all good that person has done in the past, present, and future. This sort of mob mentality is dangerous, which is why I've reblogged some posts about it. Critical thinking and nuance and good faith flies out the window in favor of trying to ensure one's media experience is as pure as possible. I don't love it.

And I don't love that the copypasta that began the end is uh. Sexual harassment and also really homophobic? The joke is that this otherwise straight man had a blog post going into graphic detail about how he sucks dick and gets off to it and loves having cum all over his face etc. The punchline is homophobia. Haha, look at this straight guy's blog post that says he likes dick, isn't it hilarious that it would be utterly mortifying and humiliating for a man to be this interested in penis where everyone can see, isn't it so funny that any self respecting straight man would protest this but you'd never really know if that was his true inner thoughts? That's really awful, you shouldn't do that to people. I don't know why I need to explain how hurtful that is. That is sexual harassment- making sexual comments to or about someone unsolicited and uninvited especially when you're doing it deliberately to get a rise out of them is like the definition of sexual harassment. And it's also really degrading to any man who does, in fact, like to have penis in their mouths and cum on their faces. Giving oral sex is not shameful and society's obsession with degrading and shaming those who prefer to give rather than receive (or those who are pressured out of asking for reciprocation but always expected to perform) is both homophobic and misogynistic.

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hypermania · 2 years

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Thoughts on people saying Misha experienced homophobia on the set of Supernatural even though he's straight?

i wasn't going to answer this because i'm pretty sure it's just bait but fuck it.

first:

i think that you should take someone at their word when they tell you how they identify, no matter what. i think if someone says they're straight, even if they're only saying it because they happen to be in the closet, it's still your job to take it as truth. you don't know someone better than they know themselves and you don't know why someone is identifying the way they are. it's not your job—or your right—to second-guess them.

i think that how someone currently identifies has no bearing on how they used to identify or how they will identify in the future. things can change and that doesn't make someone a liar. i also don't think that a person's sexual history is demonstrative of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

so, with all that in mind:

misha collins has said publicly and with intent at least twice now that he is a heterosexual man. so i'm going to believe him. but courtney! he also said he was bisexual. you're absolutely right, he did say that, and while him saying that was meant to be a joke (and it was, whether or not he actually identified as bisexual at the time, the comment was a joke) i took him at his word when it happened. he has since retracted it and i'm taking him at his word for that too. i'm not going to try to interpret any "signaling" or "flagging" or "clues" i think i've decoded as another queer person. (and somewhat relatedly: he put on a dress like two times. stop saying he's gender-nonconforming just because he isn't crushing beer bottles against his forehead.). point is: i'm choosing to believe he's a straight man because that's what he has said he is.

and straight people don't experience homophobia. i think the term people have been forgetting in this discussion is "toxic masculinity." misha collins, and honestly probably every single other person who's ever stepped foot on that set, was a victim of toxic masculinity.

but here's the thing about that: i think a large part of this fandom wants to paint misha as a victim of something, anything really, so badly because if he's not the victim, it must mean he's the perpetrator and that he's a horrible no-good evil piece of shit and everything he ever did was a lie.

but that's not how the real world works. misha did a lot of good. he fought for queer rep on the show and he raised a lot of money for the community and he made a lot of people feel loved and accepted. those things are all still true. they don't just go away because he doesn't identify as queer himself. but that doesn't mean that he has never been part of the problem. he has made homophobic (and misogynistic) jokes. he has! he just has. (and side note: i would really love it if people could stop painting him as a victim of the all the other evil men involved with supernatural. misha is a rich white dude. if he didn't want to keep going back, he didn't have to. he chose to continue to be a part of that set and he is still choosing to carry on personal relationships with a lot of those people. stop infantilizing him and acting like he's just a poor widdle baby getting bullied. he's a grown man and he makes his own choices.)

anyway, my point is that it's not all-or-nothing. he did good and he did bad and those are not mutually exclusive and they don't cancel each other out.

there are people who are feeling hurt and/or upset and that's valid. they thought he was "safe" and it turns out he was making a joke out of their sexuality, and even if it wasn't malicious, even if it was meant to be inclusive, it was still a joke and sometimes that hits a little too close to home.

but the people who are saying he's either total homophobic scum OR just a poor little victim uwu that got bullied by the real homophobes—i'm sorry but please grow up.

i think as of march we had 16 states pushing "don't say gay" bills and there are currently 35 states with at least one anti-trans bill being pushed. misha collins is just a flawed human trying to do good, who happens to have fucked up. the memes were entertaining but we have got way more important things to worry about right now.

#replies #Anonymous #misha collins for ts #spn for ts #mp

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buddha-in-disguise · 4 years

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I've been around fandoms for several decades now. Both before the internet, through the earliest days of internet fandom, to the present day.

I can genuinely say, the way Supergirl treats its fans, especially the LGBTQ or BIPOC fans as a whole, has been the worst by some margin. Particularly in regards Supercorp in terms of queerbaiting.

Whether those involved in the production of Supergirl want to admit it or not, Supergirl as it stands has been queerbaiting a large portion of the audience. Without a doubt, in terms of a ship, the largest core group of fans there is for Supercorp, and by some margin.

Have there been some fans who have taken things too far? Absolutely. And every good SC fan I know recognise and understand this, and constantly say this.

Yet somehow, an entire fandom gets tarred with the same brush continually.

But worse still, when anyone tries to address the queerbaiting that has gone on with someone who works on the show, other than the women in general, Jon Cryer (who could teach those BTS of SG a lot on how to engage with fans on SM, and not piss off swathes of fans), and Jesse, there are few instances I can think of where it then hasn't resulted in SC fans getting dumped on, or called delusional, or basically saying it isn't there.

Here's the thing.

As LGBTQ fans, the majority of us - especially the older ones like myself - know exactly what queerbaiting is. How do you think it even became recognised as a problem?

Because we called media out on it. The LGBTQ audiences defined it, via our experiences. So we know exactly what queerbaiting is thank you. We don't need to be told it isn't there or isn't something going on - because we are the ones who wrote up the damn definition!

In all my years of fandoms, never have I seen queerbaiting on the scale Supergirl use. Season 5 - especially 5a - brought the queerbaiting to a whole new level.

So many of us now dread S6, because S5 was so bad in a multitude of ways for the LGBTQ audience, including but not exclusively Supercorp queerbaiting.

And I don't speak for all SC fans, but I do see a lot like me are caught in a conundrum. We all love the majority of the cast. Particularly the women. Sure we all have favourites, but also as a whole, the female cast is loved and respected.

Here's my dilemma. I want to support the female cast. Hell I was a Chyler, Katie and Azie fan long before Supergirl, and have grown to love Melissa, Andrea and Nicole particularly. Nicole as a transgender women especially holds a place dear to us. I will support them all beyond Supergirl.

As S6 will begin filming, I want nothing more than to show them I love, support and care for them. But then I'm at the point where I want to just tell the show to go jump, because they've sucked all the enjoyment I had out of it for me. When you actually dread what the next week might bring, that is not what any show should be about. Yet here I find myself dreading what the show might bring.

I also am questioning do The CW even care about Supergirl any more, especially as they finally got Superman, which they've coveted for years, and made no secret of it.

They seem to forget that Supergirl and Superman have two pretty distinct fans. I like Superman, but I love Supergirl. I'm also just a little bit done with all the iterations of Superman we've had on screen.

Supergirl has always struggled on the social media side of fan engagement as well. Not once have I seen a showrunner actively engage with the audience. Or at least, if they have it was a long time ago. The current showrunners definitely haven't. Hell, one doesn't even have a SM account.

But even if a showrunner or others involved in the show don't engage, when others do, it becomes a nightmare. The last 6 or 7 hours are a case in point.

Again, yes some fans take it too far where Supercorp is involved. Yet, once again, rather than just stepping away, a writer got embroiled into something that didn't need to happen, because they gave out conflicting tweets on replies to fans over Supercorp, and then began blocking fans who were polite and respectful and did absolutely nothing to warrant a block.

Then they also liked a post that called SC fans dicks.

Yet somehow again, we are all the bad guys.

I've no doubt that they felt overwhelmed on how the reactions went. I truly do. But I really don't understand why anyone doesn't just step back. Put out a polite post saying it's all getting a bit too much, and they need to disengage. I think each and every decent fan would understand and respect that. I know I would.

But here's the thing.

Ultimately the writer shouldn't be in that position of trying to answer fans on it all. Nor should they dismiss fans who say it is queerbaiting, if they're not LGBTQ themselves.

The problem is Supergirl social media is so lacking, it places a higher burden on writers and others instead. That is on the show. Entirely.

I also have to question just how diverse is the writers room? Having a number of women, if they are White and cis, when you have a cast of characters who are LGBTQ and/or Black or POC, is not having a good diverse writers room. And it shows.

If you say there is no queerbaiting, but not LGBTQ, you need to stop trying to redefine what is accepted queerbaiting.

If someone says it is a gay agenda, you need to stop with that, because that is homophobic. End of. That's no different that being racist if you write it is a Black agenda.

Supergirl put themselves in this position.

I've had family watch Supergirl with no preconceptions on characters suddenly say: I see something between Kara and Lena. Are they together? And being astounded when not only do they realise they're not together, that they actually have 4 seasons of this and counting.

This has come from straight family. Or my very gay, very into men brother in law.

If others see it who aren't involved as Supercorp fans, who might even be straight - that is queerbaiting.

But here's the thing. It shouldn't need us to say others see it too. If a large segment of audience see it, say it is there, pull out receipts to show why they are saying that time and again, that should be enough.

Yet it isn't.

As much as it pains me - I sense now The CW has Superman, they're going to let Supergirl go by end of S6. I'd be more surprised if they announce a 7th season than not.

Whatever decisions on the shows future they might be making, one thing is clear.

If they don't allow Supercorp to develop, and don't get rid of whatever homophobic block is going on for the show, Supergirl will be left with a legacy of being probably the worst example on queerbaiting your audience ever.

The 100 are still panned to this day over Clexa by LGBTQ fans.

Supergirl still have a chance, a choice to pull it around.

Sadly I doubt that will happen.

In the meantime, I'm stuck on wanting to stop watching the show, but wanting desperately to support the cast. That's the conundrum many of us now face.

The legacy Supergirl will leave is not going to be about empowering women if they don't change significantly for S6.

It will be how they queerbaited, how they dismissed the only full cast Black woman, worse still, who played an LGBTQ role. How they dismissed the LGBTQ as a whole.

Those are legacies that will not die away for LGBTQ fans. The CW in general has tainted itself with the LGBTQ audience in more than one show.

What a mess.

And it really wouldn't take much to avoid all of this. That's what is so disappointing. It is an easy fix.

Apologies for any typos/mistakes as I'm posting unedited.

#supergirl #kara danvers #lgbtq #katie mcgrath #melissa benoist #supercorp #chyler leigh #lena luthor #alex danvers #azie tesfai #kelly olsen #nia nal #nicole maines #queerbaiting

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bourneblack · 3 years

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thanks for being a willing ear, bb. honestly i'm not sure if this counts as discussing fandom discourse because it doesn't actually deal with discourse and it's just so venty and more personal; it barely even has to do with fandom, really. i also get nsfw at points and i'm not sure if some of it counts as tmi but i'm warning for that here too. please know that you can delete this ask if it makes you uncomfortable or you just don't like it.

okay, so basically...i'm not sure how to be gay or trans correctly? cause uh, god this is mortifying but, you know a/b/o and mpreg right? those really awful sex tropes in fic? i used to read them constantly. i used to read a/b/o because i found it super hot and it aroused me enough that i was capable of ignoring my bottom dysphoria, and because of that i was able to masturbate regularly and enjoy myself. i read mpreg for the same reasons, but also because it was a way of indulging my impregnation and pregnancy kink without triggering my bottom dysphoria.

this was of course before i learned that those tropes were misogynistic, homophobic, and transphobic. and even though i hadn't known then, to this day i still feel awful that i couldn't figure that out on my own, as a trans man myself. i truly did let my people down, reading those fics, even if it was unknowingly.

and so, i haven't read any a/b/o or mpreg since...late 2019, i think, maybe earlier than that, and i haven't masturbated since then. well no, that's not right, i tried to consume other gay erotica in 2019--i already had tried visual porn but it does absolutely nothing for me--without a/b/o or mpreg, just basic vanilla stuff with p-i-v sex, and it either ended with me feeling not aroused enough to ignore my dysphoria, thoroughly unaroused, extremely uncomfortable, or outright in tears in the case of reading p-i-v; just overall nowhere near in the vicinity of an orgasm. so i just...haven't masturbated since, it just hasn't been worth it to do.

i wanted to say that i'm not asking you to tell me that the fic sex tropes listed above are Fine, Actually, i just wanted to talk to you about this because i...would like some direction on what to do? like how do i get rid of the bottom dysphoria? and if i can't get rid of it, how do i make it feel so insignificant that it doesn't matter. same with my pitiful and severe hang ups surrounding p-i-v sex.

i'm just asking for a little direction from someone who i think knows what they're about; what else erotica/kinks are gay trans men supposed to read, because i just...haven't been able to consume the usual stuff trans men like. and because of that i feel wrong, but mostly broken, and i don't know how to fix it. i honestly don't know what's wrong with me, and why i can't be like everyone else.

that's...all i have to say. and uh, sorry, as well. this is probably awful. have a good day, for me?

*cracks knuckles*

First things first, and this sounds cliche, but it's true, and will be true, until the end of time:

there’s no right way to be gay or trans. In fact, it’s the other way around. “Queer” came about when a human being who realized they did not fit under the standards of straight and cis decided to give themselves an identity. In that identity, sub-labels of gay, trans, lesbian, bi, asexual, etc etc formed to specify that experience. But we all forget that no one is obligated to take any of these labels, nor or they obligated to fit *one* experience. I bring this all up because while labels are important identifiers, you should never feel limited by them.

There is no ‘supposed’ to. There is only you.

And that shit’s scary!

But I’m here to tell you that you are not alone in this.

I can’t tell you straight up what is the *right* erotic experience and what is the *wrong* one, because the truth is is that the things that get you off are things you cannot control, and are things that probably won’t match even another gay/trans person. It’s also important to not assign shame to what it takes for you to get there, because what gets individual humans aroused is something that scientists don’t even fully understand.

We can only control what we do with it, and how we let it shape us.

I can give you is my experience, and hope it helps. I don’t have the answers to everything, but I’m hoping something about the process I had to go through to get here might help?

I started reading m/m stories, usually with cismen, and m/f stories, cis on both sides. I felt the p i v was, well, nice, but something about it wasn’t super appealing. It took me a few years to realize that I was transgender, that’s what was missing in the equation.

Makes sense, now I read (and write) mostly m/m stories, still with cismen, because that’s what gets me off. I sometimes enjoy m/f fics, but only if the women is written well, and mostly because I think oral is gr8.

I still do read a/b/o, get off to it a lot, because I more believe that its the not the trope that’s problematic, but its execution. It’s relieving to me to have an omega male character because look! that’s me! I recognize this is not the tropes primary use.

The latest thing I’ve gotten into is m/ftm which has lately been my niche, especially when the story is written by a trans author. My favorite is stories about transmen that top, that have bottom surgery, that are strong and muscular and powerful, because that’s the image I have in my head of who I want to be and look like. I love them paired with brats because I have a type it seems, and I also love them because I’ve figured out through this whole process what I actually see myself as. I’ve spent a long time trying to fit into identities, and now I’ve found myself and can pick a direction and take it.

There is also power in dark fiction. I went through a period of time where I enjoyed those types of stories because it not only represented what I was feeling about myself at the time, it gave me the ability to act on those feelings in a manner that hurt nobody while I figured out where to find my self-worth. Dark fiction can play an important role in processing struggle.

There are probably other things. Silly novels that use funny names for dirty bits are a good way to take the intensity out of sex. Audio is fun, whether it be dirty talking, or simply just the *sounds* of someone getting off. I still enjoy those as well.

And lastly, if none of these fit... write your own version of what you want to see. I’m serious. I started writing because I wasn’t finding what I wanted to read. My first drafts of everything are absolutely atrocious, I still have them, but it represented myself and I’m so proud of it. Even if you write it on a sheet of paper then shred it before anyone sees, getting that out of you will help you understand what you are really looking for.

I honestly hoped I could help, at least if not by my response, by lending an ear. My bottom dysphoria is less related to sex and mostly related to image, and my fixes for that have been to buy and wear boxer, pack a sock (or two if I want to impress) and bind my chest.

My ask box is always open for stuff like this, never feel like it’s a burden coming here and needing a place to vent. I wish you well, and I hope that you can find your way through this struggle.

Lots of love, BB

#trans #dysphoria #lgbt #fanfic #slight work unsafe #long post #Anonymous

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xox-hitorabu-xox · 5 years

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You misunderstood my words, I definitely think Izaya doesn't need a lover in canon in order to have a personal resolution, I just named the Shinzaya, Shizaya and Izamika ships because they're objectively the ships with more potential (and quantity of material) to evolve into something else, where situations are ambiguous enough (especially with Shinra and Shizuo) to be read in both ways. I mean, it's really easy to think Izaya might be in unrequited love with his "best friend" who doesn't (2)

give a shit and is totally obsessed with a monster or that is in love with his lifetime rival but in extreme denial because Shizuo’s first rejection hurt him deeply and since his heart is so fragile to break if filled with human love, betrayal or rejection, convincing himself to hate him while destroying his life, is the ultimate form of self-preservation (+ other additional stuff that came later), etc. It’s just a step from the two interpretations, that’s why it would take nothing to (2)

write something about Izaya’s past with Mikage and Kine, he didn’t because he lacked time. No big secret behind it, he was and still is involved in too many projects and lately even got sick and just recently recovered. Dude don’t get mad, I’m not saying that there is 0 potential between Izakage, like they’re already more steps ahead from Izanamie but still doesn’t seems like she’s one of the people who had an epic impact in his life, if by any case it’s revealed that she is, good for you. (3)I’m not really against anything and I read a bit of everything, but if someone comes at me asking: “What Drrr ship has the most potential/double interpretation material to build over in order to make it romantic?” and oc I’d reply Shinzaya, Shizaya and Izamika because I just have eyes to read and what I read tell this. It’s not like I prefer them or something, if Mikage was in Shinra’s place to give an example, that’d be the other way around. It’s nothing personal against the Izakage ship. (4)

If people don’t see potential in something doesn’t mean there isn’t in general, if Shizaya is so popular is specifically because so many people can see it because it’s really easy interpreting certain behaviors in different ways. It’s just Narita who can’t see this or any other mxm ship because is limited by homophobia and all ships need to be straight. But here we’re talking about potential not what will happen in canon, that’s why I say is all wasted unexplored potential. Too bad for him.(5)

Maybe I’m the only one who thinks IzayaxMikage is more or less on the same level of KadotaxIzaya. Like both know Izaya pretty well, they shared the high school period and know and acknowledge his flaws, still they still see some positivity in him. They’re impartial in jugding him, contrary to others who see him as Satan himself or Shinra who knows him more than anyone else still doesn’t care. Difference? None. IzayaxMikage has simply more chances because is a straight ship and that is sad af.

…

First off, Narita has broken the INCEST taboo, literally having Kurui and Mairu, both girls and sisters, kissing, (whether or not they hold and attraction for Aoba/Kasuka as a side attraction is beside the point) so I HIGHLY doubt he’s a homophobe or worried about every ship being straight, that’s just you being salty over Shizaya not being canon(and don’t say you’re not, because otherwise you wouldn’t care about or have an issue with Narita not acknowledging Shizaya). And it’s not nice to accuse people homophobic unless it comes out of his own mouth, especially considering all the gay jokes and vibes throughout the anime and novels.

Nextly, all of this is you pushing your ship onto me and putting down my ship, which is just rude. On top of that, Claiming that Shizaya has SO MUCH potential while telling me my ship has next to none is also incredibly petty of you. I’m not gonna argue about Shinzaya or IzaMika one way or another, (KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM IN NO WAY BASHING SHIZAYA, I FULLY SUPPORT THE FANART AND FANFICTIONS FOR IT) but Shizaya is honestly the worse pairing to compare to IzaKage or ShinCelty. Unlike with all the other ships in Durarara!! Shizuo and Izaya hate each other, they try to kill each other on a daily basis, they can’t stand each other, they don’t like or admire anything about the other, and would never want to, it’s not even remotely love. It’s pure unrivaled hatred. While I enjoy Shizaya in fanfictions, I would NEVER wish for that pairing to become canon.

And since you have basically put down ShinCelty and said that I shouldn’t go on about what isn’t healthy, let’s go on about what IS healthy. Unlike Shizuo and Izaya, Shinra and Celty never try to kill each other, they are physically attracted to each other, and above all else, Shinra makes Celty feel like an actual human being and Celty inspires Shinra act like a human being and keeps him from making terrible and inhumane choices on more than one occasion(like stopping him from killing Aoba). Celty is the one who encouraged Shinra to go make friends, Celty is the one who looks after him and his wounds after he was attacked by Adabashi, Shinra is the one who helps Celty find happiness and humanity. Yes, Shinra manipulated Celty and Celty was mad at him, but his feelings for her were still genuine, even if he was selfish and very questionable, arguably having even less morals than Izaya. But he never tried to have her killed, they don’t throw huge objects or knives at each other on a daily basis, they don’t frame each other for crimes, they don’t tell each other they’re not allowed to come into Ikebukuro or act like they own the town, they don’t prevent the other from making connections, or any of that. Shinra may have lied to her on more than one occasion, and may be twisted and done a lot of twisted things, but in comparison to Shizaya, Shincelty is innocent as hell and to even try to compare Shizaya to ShinCelty is really looking bad on you. I don’t ship ShinCelty or Izakage because it’s a straight, I ship it because of the mutual understanding and appreciation I feel they have for one another.

I don’t see Shizaya as having potential in canon, Because Shizuo and Izaya bring out the worst in each other, they make each other’s lives worse(And Izaya literally wants Shizuo to become a monster, and can’t stand when he acts nice or like a human, unlike Shinra who would support Celty no matter what path she chose). Shizuo and Izaya want to avoid each other, especially in the novels, yet they keep picking fights and could NEVER get along. So comparing that level of toxicity to the level of toxicity of any of the mutual couples in Durarara is redundant. Hell, SHIZAYA MIGHT AS WELL BE DIOxJOJO FROM JBA BECAUSE IT’S JUST THAT BAD OF A HATRED. Though knowing you, you probably ship that.

Unlike you, I’m looking at logic. Hate is hate. That’s just a fact. Hate to that extreme doesn’t turn into love.

On top of that, while maybe Izaya was angry about the rejection, he wanted to use Shizuo. And their first interaction wasn’t even in the novels from what I recall, that was anime only. But Shizuo had heard about the kind of person Izaya was beforehand, and Izaya had heard about Shizuo as well. Izaya approached Shizuo with the intentions to manipulate him. And Shizuo doesn’t help anything throughout the series. He only makes everything worse. Again, I don’t like fighting over ships, but you’re the one who came onto MY post and started attacking me, putting my ship down, and spamming my inbox with biased propoganda about why Shizaya would work and why IzaKage wouldn’t. Quite frankly, I’m getting tired of this.Also, just because something is super popular doesn’t always make that great. A lot of people out there ship pedophilia (30 year olds with 12 year olds or younger) more than they ship the actual canon pairings of some of the anime out there, but that doesn’t make it okay.Anyway, I’m done arguing about this.(I realized too late you said it WASN’T that you thought it had no potential. I feel like an idiot now, but I’m not taking back a lot of the other things I’ve said.

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gabesapwhoreta · 6 years

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storytime

The first and only time I've been out during my stay in a mental hospital, there was a transgirl on the same unit as me. One day we were all having lunch in the main room, and a discussion got started up about transitioning, mostly me and her comparing mtf vs ftm transitioning and what it was like/the research we'd done on it. Naturally the other kids were curious about it, so we had like, a big discussion, just sort of answering every question they had about being trans- like, how pronoun preferences work, what's polite, and some of the less talked about stuff too, like what surgery is like and why dysphoria/wanting a full physical transition isn't across the board for every trans person. Neither of us minded at all since we were already talking about it, and since obviously they were just curious and seemed really scared of accidentally being rude.

But like, towards the end of the conversation, this girl says something that makes me wanna tear up- she's just like "You know, I used to disagree with people wanting to be called pronouns and names and stuff before they got surgery, but you guys completely changed my mind. Like, you're both completely the gender you say you are, anyone who talked to you would see that, it doesn't matter whether you've had surgery, you guys are both so sweet and awesome."

And like, it kind of made an impression on me, like- I changed someone's mind. Just by talking to her and letting her know me. It kinda blew my mind to think about how many other people are like that- people who seem transphobic and 'respectfully disagree' or whatever they say they're doing with our 'life choices', meanwhile they just grew up only surrounded by people and media that was telling them completely reversed facts. It's like those dumb videos you see on YouTube titled "Gay People Hug Homophobes" or whatever, and the videos end with the person saying something like "I didn't think gay people acted like you," and you almost want to cry because, what did you think we act like?

Impressions are so important, especially when the person you're talking to isn't particularly exposed to many viewpoints. I remember talking to my grandmother once, and she was talking about why she didn't believe in interracial relationships, or something insane like that, and she explains why- "I had a friend, he was black, and he used to tell me not to trust black guys who wanted to date me, because he'd never choose a white girl over a black girl, because they're sexier." Obviously the dude was joking to a degree, but she took it totally verbatim.

Anyway, that's why I answer questions way more personal than most trans people are willing to answer, provided the asker is just curious and not trying to be rude or something- I feel like there's a big trend in this community to hate straight and cis people, and yeah, it's hilarious and therapeutic to make jokes on tumblr, but sometimes impressions can change a person's entire perspective. Yes, I get it, it's not our responsibility to educate people, it's theirs to seek the information out- but that's not how to actually change anything. When people come on tumblr asking critical questions about being trans, most of the time, they're trying to seek that information out- but the response they get is just people yelling at them for their bad phrasing and overly formal nerdbro-associated typing style borrowed from reddit, and two months later they're an anti-sjw blog, because the conclusion they drew is that we're aggressive and entitled, since they had no fucking clue why anyone was yelling at them when they didn't know.

What I'm saying is we need to start differentiating between ignorance and people genuinely being rude on purpose. Privacy invading questions suck, but it's possible to gently tell someone why they suck, and giving them the benefit of the doubt, instead of just yelling at them. I feel like tumblr culture has a big tendency to fuck that up.

Yes, it's exhausting that we have to explain ourselves to every single person, and yeah, it's super fucking unfair. But no one is going to listen to us when we're insulting them.

#idk those are just my 4 am thoughts

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