wearing our Christmas best 🎄

Masterlist

Please proceed with caution, read at your own risk, my writing is somewhat… yeah bad; I promise I’m working on it...

just a fyi majority of my work was on my side blog @mydayy but I moved it here. if you ever want to request work, I’m more than happy to oblige, don’t know if it’ll be any good tho. hehe pls comment on my writing it makes my heart melt in a good way :)

★彡 Series ★彡

Durarara!!

Stalker!Izaya x Reader

1. I simply love humans genre: yandere | stalker

Izaya Orihara really does love humans, but maybe he adores you just a little bit more; because your one really interesting human being.

2. Human Desires genre: yandere | stalker

This time around, the target of Izaya’s sinister obsession is, you.

3. Strange Addiction genre: yandere | stalker | blood | implied kidnapping

The start of Izaya’s new profound interest in her, soon takes a turn for the sinister and now there’s just no stopping him. From getting what he wants, and what he wants is her.

4. Game of Cat and Mouse genre: yandere | stalker | kidnapping

He began to slowly unwrap her. Her mind. Her heart. Her soul. He hadn’t gotten to her clothes yet. But she knew he would soon enough.

☆ scenario ☆

Anime

Amnesia

Relationship! w/ Amnesia Characters

Blue Lock

Coffee.

It’s a bitter taste now, and god, how it felt like love.

Chainsaw man

Cigarette

Aki realized his harmful addiction wasn’t just cigarettes.

Taste of Cigarettes

After losing Aki, you took up a harmful addiction. The very same one you broke up with him because of.

Haikyuu!!

Jealous, Jealous

Kageyama can’t help contain his jealousy when he sees you with Oikawa celebrating after the tournament.

Save Your Tears

Oikawa sees you for the first time since your breakup.

Jujutsu Kaisen

Empress & The Fool

You had your whole life planned out, for you since the moment you were born, the fate of the clan rested upon your shoulders. You were the eldest daughter of the Zenin clan after all. You always accepted this as fact, but soon you find yourself wondering if there is more to life. With just one chance encounter, your life is completely turned upside down and you soon find yourself falling for the young heir of the rivaling Gojo clan. But will your feelings for one another suffice? Or will your families never ending fued get in the way of your true love?

Arrangement

Megumi can’t help feel his heart thump anytime he sees you. Megumi would never admit it but he was eternally grateful to gojo. If it wasn’t for him he would have never met you.

Jealousy

Yuta can’t help but feel his chest tighten in pain as he heard you chatting intimately with Megumi, and so he got incredibly jealous.

Love Language

In which you become very concerned after you hear of Megumi’s encounter with a high grade curse artifact. You then decide to tell and show him all the ways he effects you.

Red Cigarettes After a devastating breakup, you give up on the thought of ever finding someone else; but that all changed when you met a man with ocean blue eyes.

Cigarettes.

Let me be your cigarette, baby.

I don’t like you, I love you.

You better than anyone should know Gojo Satoru’s truest feelings.

Lost Soul

He promised you, after all. And Satoru Gojo doesn’t go, and break his promises.

Sugar

Gojo Satoru loves sweets things, and that includes you.

Jujutsu sorcerers — love at first sight troupe

Jujutsu Kaisan characters as yanderes: tokyo school edition

Jujutsu Kaisan as yanderes characters: kyoto school edition

Relationship! w/ Jujutsu Kaisen Characters

Yandere!gojo x Darling!reader

Yandere!Gojo! x Darling!Reader!

Kuroko’s Basketball

Dangerous Bet

Akashi will win, he always does. And this time he’s betting it all on the line. You’ll be his, this he swore.

Stars, Fate and everything in between

Murasakibara didn’t believe in fate, but damn did he believe that all the stars just so happened to align so you could meet that fateful day.

Kuroko’s Basketball | Jealousy

Kuroko’s Basketball | Suggestive/Smut HC

My Hero Academia

hot girl bummer

Class 1-B, Neito Monoma can’t seem to never have anything good to say about anyone in hero class 1-A, and your not immune to his sarcastic behavior, and taunting criticism. But just maybe he takes joy in wanting to making you squirm, and have your face turn red with anger. And when he finally achieves to make you crack, he can’t help, but feel pathetic.

Tokyo Revengers

Strange Land , Strange Land Part 2

After a couple of years, you finally met your dear brothers. They left your home town Roppongi to make a name for themselves, in Tokyo, but you stayed and made sure to take care of the city. And circumstances arise, we’re you pay them a little visit. And maybe along the way you make new enemies, friends and something more.

Deadly Obsession

Sanzu has many addictions, drugs, alcohol, women, sex. But nothing compares to you. Your his deadly obsession. He’ll have you one way or another this, he swore. 

Dope Lovers

He was entranced, for you were his newest addiction, and he so desperately needed more, a higher dose of.

Intoxicating

After a one night stand, Ran can’t help but fantasize about you. The way your body moved, the way you seemed so delicate, fragile, and absolutely mesmerizing pressed up under him as he made you, his. For after that night, Ran claimed you as his, and he’ll have you one way, or another.

Tokyo Revengers | Marriage Proposals

Tokyo Revengers | Marriage Proposals Part 2

Tokyo Revengers | Yandere

Otome Games

Genshin Impact

The Housekeeper

Thomas becomes very interested in up cleaning, and offers you his assistance during spring cleaning; but could it be a ploy to get into your home, and spy on you and your most intimate moments?

Diluc is madly in love with a maid at his estate

Tv shows

Peaky Blinders

Lookalike

But she wasn’t his, to call his own; she was but a lookalike and nothing more.

Unrequited

You of course did love Thomas Shelby, that was at least true.

Stranger Things

Heather

You have always been in love with your best friend, Steve Harrington but his heart belongs to another. The undisputed fact, only provided you with more heartache. But maybe along the way you saw how you weren't meant to ever be together, and that was just okay.

Kpop

Stray Kids

Distant

Changbin worried that you two might be growing apart. He hesitates to approach you with his concerns, but its proving to be rather difficult.

Movie Night

Felix really likes watching movies, but maybe he likes you a whole lot more.

Relationship! w/ Stray Kids

Stray kids as kdrama tropes

✧ Image ✧

Reader x Lover!

Hello, Stranger!

But here he was undeniably mesmorized by her, a total stranger

Kiss Me

Their first time saying, I love you.

๑ drabble ๑

Losing You

Rain

Royal Flush

• blurb •

Dear, Bias

Find You

I’ll mail the shattered pieces of my heart to you if you only asked.

words I never got to tell him because we don’t talk anymore.

do you love the rain? please love the rain.

♪ song based writing ♪

this is what heartbreak feels like

this is what sadness feels like

this is what falling out of love feels like

this is what losing someone feels like

this is what autumn feels like

Moodboards

blue

bucket hats

It’s the little things.

match made

sunsets

photography

[] i n p r o c e s s o f w r i t i n g []

_w a i t i n g _

coffee shop

you’re the barista at a coffee shop and always screws up your crush’s name on purpose.

Hello, Stranger!

Jisung hates coffee, but goes to a coffee shop and drinks some just so they can see (Y/n), who works there.

Cupid’s Chokehold

Pro-hero hawks develops a dark obsession with a regular civilian.

Extravaganza

It was supposed to be like any ordinary day, but things never go according to plan. Ambushed and assaulted by a rival group, other wise known as Sanzu Haruchiyo was found bleeding out on your front door step. But the last thing he ever expected was, to catch feelings and all the emplucations that would soon follow because of it. Especially since you were his bosses’ diseased older brother’s women. But he can’t help feeling a certain type of way towards you.

Fairytale

Having been the king’s bastard has never been easy, especially when your father has paid little to no mind to you nor your wishes. You find yourself dragged from a peaceful, and tranquil life into a dangerous life of intrigue, and conspiracy into a golden caged prison. Life in King’s Landing has never been easy for a bastard, and you weren’t the exception. When you were younger you dreamed of princes on horse back. But as you grew older, you learned the undisputed truth of this world. It was much darker than you could have ever imagined. You have roamed into the dragon’s den.

My Starry Sky

They say time apart makes the heart grow fonder but is that really the case after years of miscommunication and silence. You encounter one another again in a unexpected way and many different situations arise.

Queen of Curses

She’ll get retribution on those who forsaken her, one way or another. She’ll have no problem cursing those she finds repulsive; and distasteful. With just a single glance, you’re cursed. Death is but a luxury when your within her grasp. She’ll make you pay three-fold, regardless of your transaction. She’s the embodiment of hate and death, after all. The queen of curses they called her.

Side Effects

It was supposed to be like any ordinary day, but things never go according to plan. You were driving back home late one night when you suffered a collision on the highway. Due to the heavy rain and slippery roads an accident occurs, that leaves you suffering from memory loss. But the last thing you ever expected was, the emplucations that would soon follow because of it.

Villain

Sometimes you have to make peace with the fact that you are a villain in someone else’s story, even if you thought you were doing the right thing. You don’t get to tell them how to narrate their experience. There are no hero’s without villains and there are both in each of us. What is good? What is bad? Everyone does what they have to do, in order to survive and of course (Y/n) was no exception.

Please do not copy or alter this writing on Tumblr or any other platform. This work belongs to @somemydayy

If I Had A Choice

Walking gives you a lot of time to think. Jon and Martin consider things after they leave Salesa's.

Read on Ao3

The thing is, it’s not about what he deserves.

Does Jon deserve to die? It’s a meaningless question now, when death is an escape that few have the luxury of imagining. Death is far from the worst fate that he intimately Knows. Even so, that isn’t the point. Not really.

Would he die to put the world back as it was? That’s no choice at all. There’s still enough humanity in him to see that there is only one answer. But it isn’t about that either. Killing him wouldn’t fix things, and chasing pointless martyrdom through the apocalypse would only leave Martin to face this world alone.

He’s not looking for a hard choice to make, whatever anyone might think. It’s just that he’s not likely to have a choice.

Martin won’t leave him, not even for the peace and comfort of Salesa’s hideaway. That thought fills Jon with more things than he can name. Relief, fear, gratitude, fear, bafflement, fear, fear, fear, but love most of all. Martin won’t leave him, and so Jon can’t leave either. Can’t let the Eye pull him away. Can’t let Terminus catch him.

Not if he has a say in the matter. (He won’t have a say in the matter.)

You really don’t deserve it.

He doesn’t, but it isn’t about that. It doesn’t matter if he deserves Martin or not. Is it even possible, really, to deserve the love of another person? Is it something that can be earned, purchased with a debt of kind acts or romantic words? No. It can only be a gift, and whatever his reasons Martin has given it to him. Martin loves him. It doesn’t matter if Jon deserves it. He has it and he's going to hold on to it.

Since when does anyone get what they deserve?

Martin deserves so many things that he will never have.

We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

There was a time when Jon believed that he could save the world, when he threw himself into the search for answers, certain that if he could see the whole picture then he could understand it all. He ran into the Unknowing, stared at the Dark Sun, crawled into the Buried and carved a path through the Forsaken. He thought that he was preventing rituals, but all the while he was becoming the altar and the knife. It killed something in him, that realization. Whatever hubris, whatever sheer arrogance had made him believe he could save anybody, it was gone. Deep down, he doesn’t believe in a way back.

But he’s been wrong before. He hopes that he’s wrong now. It doesn’t come naturally anymore, hope, but he can try. Try to believe they can bring back a world that is more than just pain and fear. One that has comfort and safety, simple pleasures, peaceful mornings, dreamless nights.

He knows he can't live in that world.

He’s changed too much. He can’t be fixed. That is the reality of it.

Jon doesn’t deserve to be rewarded for bringing about the end. He didn’t deserve to be used by Elias. He doesn’t deserve Martin’s devotion. He doesn’t deserve to die. But it isn’t about what he deserves.

They just get whatever hurts them the most.

Martin won’t leave him. If their desperate quest somehow does succeed and Jon is severed from the Eye, he knows Martin will be with him until the end. Jon can Know every word in every language but none of them name what he feels when he thinks about that.

There are worse fates, he thinks, than spending a week or two living somewhere with Martin while he slowly loses himself, grows tired and hazy until one day he drifts off and doesn’t come back. It might be peaceful.

(Despite everything, he doesn’t want to die. It isn’t about what he wants, either.)

It would be painful to watch, he knows. There is no way to spare Martin the pain of losing him. Even if Jon wanted to (he doesn’t) or could (he couldn’t) convince Martin to leave him, it would only make that pain come sharper and sooner. It will hurt him however it happens.

Jon hopes that he won’t be alone when it does.

Maybe Melanie will reach out after it’s all over - with Jon gone, even Georgie might be willing to speak to him. Basira, she’s already coping with her own loss. Perhaps they can help each other. Jon thinks that Martin will want someone to be there for just as much as he’ll need someone to be there for him.

Even if there is no one... Martin is strong, stronger than Jon had once imagined. He found his own way out of the fog this time. If he suffers, if he mourns, he’ll also heal. He’ll have room to move on in a world of gentle rains and quiet conversations and hot cups of tea.

Jon doesn’t Know this. He doesn’t Know any of it. It’s what he hopes.

What he knows is there is no place for him in that healed world.

What he knows is he is a monster that feeds on fear.

What he knows is Martin won’t leave him.

If this world can be fixed, he’ll do what it takes to fix it. If he can’t survive in that new world, then he’ll die in it. It’s not about punishment, or sacrifice, or fate, or about what he deserves.

This is what Jon can still hope for.

He hears Martin call out and glances back. He’s fallen behind again, or Jon’s been going too fast, lost in thought. Jon holds out a hand which Martin takes, visibly annoyed. He smiles apologetically, hoping Martin will smile back. He does, after a moment of suspense - tossing his head back and rolling his eyes.

“You keep that up, I’m going to start thinking you’re trying to ditch me,” he says.

Jon’s grip tightens. His voice is blazing.

“Never,” he says.

* * *

It’s not about what Martin wants. It never is.

But right now, he is where he wants to be. He meant what he said. It would have been nice to stay in Salesa’s home a little longer, but he’d rather be here with Jon than there with Annabelle. Besides, he couldn’t abandon everyone else, couldn’t leave the world to this hell. And obviously he isn’t leaving Jon.

I mean, you could have...

Martin had waited for it as they packed. He’d braced for it as they made their way to the front, holding Jon’s hand and steering him so that he didn’t stop walking or wander off. He knew Jon would point out the obvious eventually – that if he wanted to, Martin could stay behind.

When he finally did say it, hesitant and without much force, it was almost a relief.

I f you wanted to forget all of it, stay here and just... escape. I would understand.

The thing is, Martin doesn’t want to escape. That isn’t what he’s hoping for.

What would he even do if he stayed with Salesa? Sit around on fancy furniture looking at flowers while seven billion people continued on in agony? Spend a few years drinking before noon, then blow his brains out once the food’s gone? What kind of paradise is that?

No, it isn’t for him. Nice place to visit, wouldn’t want to die there.

What Martin really wants is to ask Jon if there’s a nearby nightmare domain where he can pick up a chainsaw or a flamethrower or two, then pop back quickly to have one last chat with Annabelle. But that probably wouldn’t end as well in reality as it would in his head.

Martin isn’t an idiot, he knows nothing that Annabelle says is spoken in his interest or Jon’s. Anything she tells him is only her trying to get under his skin for her own ends. He knows this. He does. The trouble is, she’s good at it, and sometimes her words tug at his worries even if he doesn’t really believe them.

Does he even need you at all?

But she made a mistake there, because the one thing he knows is that Jon needs someone. Even now. Especially now. Maybe there are times when he can’t get all the way to “Jon needs me.” But he needs somebody, Martin has no doubts about that. If her game is to convince him otherwise, she’s going to lose.

He should expect someone like Annabelle to think that Jon doesn’t need him.

What does she know about what people need? She probably sees everyone as a tool she can use for whatever plans her spider puppet-masters are cooking up.

She wasn’t there with Jon in those first few days, when he was destroying himself with guilt. She wasn’t the one he clung to while he wept, who listened to him pour out his self-loathing and his dread, who held him when it seemed like he might shake apart.

She didn’t see the look on Jon’s face when Martin told him that he didn’t want to stay in the fog – that collapsing relief and barely-held back joy. Didn’t feel how tightly Jon clung to him as they made their way out of that house, one hand gripping his, the other around his arm, as if holding something precious that had been nearly ripped away.

She wouldn’t know or care about the small, fragile smiles that Martin can still coax from him, despite everything.

What does she know about what he needs?

Does she even have any friends that aren’t mind controlled into thinking they like her?

Has anyone ever told her she’s their reason for holding on?

Just wanted to make you say it.

Now that would be a thing to ask the next time she shows up. ‘Hey Annabelle, just curious, is there anyone who actually cares about you?’ And she’d say something like ‘well Martin, are you sure that anyone has ever really cared about you?’ in that smug voice of hers. And then Jon would say that he cared about Martin, that he loved him, and then he’d blow her up with his Archivist vision.

Yeah. That wouldn’t end as well in reality as it did in his head either.

He was in love, and he was loved, and he wouldn’t forget that. He could believe that Jon did need him.

But he still worried.

Because when was the last time Jon let himself have what he needed?

Life's always more complicated than that, isn't it?

If he put more stock in what Annabelle said, Martin might see Jon giving him these outs as trying to get rid of him. And he knows there’s something deep in him, something old and sore, that resonates with that. But that isn’t what he’s afraid of, not really. He’d have to ignore a great number of the things that Jon says and does to really believe that he doesn’t want Martin around.

What he worries is that Jon might be trying to give him up. Let him run away somewhere safe so that he won’t have to face what’s coming. Whatever it is he Sees.

He wanted to stay a little longer at Salesa’s, but it’s not about what he wants. Jon couldn’t stay, Martin couldn’t leave him, so Martin couldn’t stay either. Jon apologized, but it wasn’t like that – it wasn’t something Martin was giving up for him, he stayed with Jon for himself as well. And it’s not Jon’s fault that he can’t live without the -

Can’t live at that house. Not for long.

No. Nope. No, no, no, no. He isn’t going to give into despair about that. This world is huge, and weird, and terrible, and most of it doesn’t make sense except in the incomprehensible non-logic of dreams.

If a cracked camera can hide a bubble of peace in the apocalypse, there’s something that can be done for Jon. Martin is not going to let go of that possibility. He’s had a glimpse of the life they might have together, and he wants to have that in earnest.

But it’s never about what Martin wants.

“Hey!” He shouts at Jon, who’s beginning to shrink in the distance. “Slow down, huh?”

Jon turns rabbit-quick and startled. He smiles sheepishly as Martin approaches, holding out a hand for him to take.

Martin rolls his eyes as he grips it. “You keep that up, I’m going to start thinking you’re trying to ditch me.”

Jon stares at his words, and for a moment he squeezes Martin’s hand hard enough to hurt. He looks into Martin’s eyes and whispers never. And Martin swallows, and breathes, and breathes.

* * *

Two figures stand in a lifeless field, saying nothing. The same thought in both their minds.

If I had a choice, I would choose to be with you.

Ten Characters Tag

I was somehow tagged by the wonderful @dialovers-translations​???? I’m not worthy of being mentioned by her. Anyways, here’s the post. I am very bad at conveying my opinions so some of the descriptions might be a bit odd.

Rules: make a new post, name 10 of your favorite characters from 10 different fandoms that you like, and then tag 10 people.

1. Hanayo Koizumi (Love Live)

No offense, but if you didn’t know I loved her, you’re fucking blind. She’s literally my profile picture and header. Anyways, Hanayo is my favorite anime character ever. She and I are very similar in that we’re shy introverts with glasses that love to sing despite having social anxiety. My friends that have watched the show say that we’re basically the same person. In fact, her birthday is 5 days after mine. Her voice is my favorite out of everyone else’s voice in the Love Live series. Her old voice is to die for (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, listen to Love Marginal or Kodoku na Heaven). I could go on about her for hours, but I’ll stop here.

Honorable Mention: Honoka Kousaka

2. Rinko Shirokane (Bang Dream!/Bandori)

I. Love. Rinko. So. Much. My name in Bandori is “Worship Rinko/Lisa” with one of my banners dedicated to her. Kinda the same reason why I like Hanayo so much, Rinko is similar to me in that we both have social anxiety and can play piano I’m not good at describing this oof. She’s really beautiful and I love her gothic lolita aesthetic. Her voice is also really good (although I prefer Yurika Endo’s voice much more than Kanon Shizaki, her voice is still good)

Honorable Mention: Lisa Imai

3. Reiji Sakamaki (Diabolik Lovers)

(Fun fact about me: I get really shy looking at characters I think are hot so this was hard for me.) I’m a really kinky person. I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m a huge masochist and am 100% a sub. I also like guys that are smart and formal. So, Reiji is the perfect guy for me. I can’t remember if he was always my favorite character (I watched the anime at least 5 years ago). However, I do know he was my favorite by the time I started reading the game translations (which were about a year and a half ago). Honestly, he can 100/10 tie me up and whip me any day.

Honorable Mentions: Laito Sakamaki, Ayato Sakamaki

4. Saeran Choi/Ray/Unknown (Mystic Messenger)

So, based off the three aformentioned characters, you can tell I like shy characters and sadistic, dominant characters. Well, Ray is a combination of the two. Although Jumin was my favorite before (that 2nd bad ending yes-), the image above is what sealed the deal. I got almost all his bad endings (could never get the 3rd and my friend was loaning me her account and wanted it back for a bit) and his true ending. The 2nd bad ending was my favorite ending of his route and tied for 1st for my favorite ending in the game (Jumin’s aforementioned 2nd ending is tied with him). I prefer Unknown over Ray as he’s the type of sadist I like (plus, his theme is a bop).

Honorable Mention: Jumin Han

5. Wu Chang/Xie Bi’an and Fan Wujiu/Black and White Guard (Identity V)

If you been on my blog at all, you know that I love Wu Chang as my header is “Wu Chang is Daddy”. I say this a lot in world chat in-game too. I have a whole folder dedicated to them on my computer. If you had to ask me which one I prefer, I couldn’t answer that question. What I like about Xie (White) is his calm, gentle nature which is perfect for me because I’m really shy and sensitive while Fan (Black)’s nature is aggressive and domineering which I also love.  A fair few of my followers started following me for my Yandere Wu Chang fanfic (link to part 1 if you want to read it) so thanks for that. 

Wu Chang can double penetrate me

Honorable Mentions: Yidhra (Dream Witch), Vera (Chloe) Nair (Perfumer)

6. Vincent Pait (Dead Wishes)

If you love yanderes and/or games with dark themes, Dead Wishes is for you. I love this game so much and, although I haven’t finished playing yet, I can basically guarantee Vincent is best boi. He’s like Reiji, but instead kidnaps you and chains you up in his house. However, he still does punish the MC a lot. Warning though: the game is not for the faint of heart (I was streaming Vincent’s route for my friends and one of them got so freaked out over a punishment, he banned me from streaming the game and mentioning Vincent).

7. Yuuya Kizami (Corpse Party)

I’m one of the very few people that like Kizami. Practically everyone else hates him. If I wasn’t a masochistic yandere fucker, I probably wouldn’t like him either. But, you’ve got admit. He’s hot. I find is backstory interesting, as he was always the way he is. Unlike Morishige, the school didn’t change him. Also, another very unpopular opinion, I really dislike Yuka. I find her really annoying. She acts like she’s 8 when she’s 14 or something. Because of this, I didn’t mind her dying.

Honorable Mentions: Sachiko, Seiko Shinohara, Mayu Suzumoto

8. Sebastian Michaelis (Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji)

Note: Along with Reiji, I had to work up the courage to search for pictures of him. Sebastian has been one of my favorite anime characters for awhile. I think I watched Kuroshitsuji in 6th grade, so that was awhile ago (I’m not comfortable stating my age). I can’t really describe why I like him so much. He’s just... perfect. He’s a gentleman and incredibly, but is a huge sadist as well which is a huge plus. 

Honorable Mention: Ciel Phantomhive

9. Sal (Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea)

Ah, yes. The trash himself. Once again, I am in the minority because I like Sal. The rest of the fandom hates him, because he’s an asshole. I love him because a yandere. In fact, he’s one of the few male yanderes listed on the Yandere Wiki. I discovered WATGBS in 8th grade and instantly fell in love with him once he showed his true colours. The possessiveness. The obsession. All things I love in a lover.

Honorable Mention: Wadanohara

10. Aya Drevis (Mad Father)

Mad Father and Ib were the games that got me into horror. Although I wanted to put Mary from Ib on this list, I like Aya and Mad Father just a bit more. Aya is this cute, adorable girl that, as the game goes on, reveals her dark nature. She frequently killed her rabbits, albeit unknowingly, chainsawed someone in half, and then went on to use humans as parts for dolls. All in all, 10/10 character. Bonus Reason: I adore the aesthetic of Mad Father. I love the use of dolls in games. I love the themes. I love the yandere themes in it (even though it’s platonic). Mad Father is a great game.

Honorable Mentions: Alfred Drevis, Ogre, Dio

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m really antisocial and don’t know many people on here-

Catharsis (Awase Yosetsu X Momo Yaoyorozu Short Story)

I stumbled onto some post talking about these two and their shared trauma, so I made this in response. Kinda forgot who it was but credit goes to him/her for the idea. 

–––

Awase Yosetsu sometimes wondered whether he was alone. Not literally, obviously: he had friends, family, and a school he felt he belonged to. More so, alone in his mind. Were his life experiences, and the way he reacted to them, unique? Has no one else suffered the same trauma he had? 

Logic dictated that the answer was a clear no. The Kamino Incident, more than a week ago, had been far more tragic than what he had went through. Hundreds of civillians, unaware of a police raid just a few kilometers down the road, had their lives taken away in a mere instant. He had been horrified to find out about that.

Still, as he lay awake at night staring at the ceiling of his dormitory, something he found doing more and more since the camp, he thought, Is it selfish of me to think that...that...was worse? 

He suppressed a shudder. Don’t think about it, he warned himself, forcing his mind away and to lighter subjects, like lunch today, where Monoma was karate-chopped by Kendo again, and everyone started laughing...

The whirring of the chainsaw grew louder; the wail of that abomination pierced his ears. He was getting slower. They were getting ––

“Stop!” He slapped himself, curling up underneath his blanket. He still could not forget it, no matter how hard he tried. 

Maybe I should schedule an appointment with Hound Dog...

No, he didn’t want to. It wasn’t...proper, for him to go for counselling. The school had offered it immediately after the disaster that was the camp, and he had taken one just to placate them. He went through the motions, nodding, talking a bit, smiling while he could. Perhaps the adrenaline somehow still kicked in, days after it. He might have still been in a shock then. But now...

The memories started to come back now to haunt him, to make him lose sleep, to make him unsettled. And it worked. 

So was he alone in this, or were the others equally affected? Worse? Less? 

Granted, the mood in the school was dim for the first few days, but the majority of the cohort seemed to return to their normalcy by the first week. But he...he could not. 

His thoughts drifted towards Yaoyorozu. Even though she had received the injury from that monster, she seemed to be faring better than him. From the few times they passed each other in the hallway, or at the canteen, she looked as chirpy as ever. She smiled at everyone, laughed at her friends’ jokes, and seemed totally unaffected by the incident. He presumed her studies had not taken a hit whatsoever. Still the top scorer of the cohort.

Great, guess I’ll be late again tomorrow, he sighed inwardly as he glanced at his watch, informing him that it was half past eleven.

He sat up and sunk his face into his hands. Maybe I should take a walk. 

Grabbing his shoes and track pants, he found himself at the ground floor of his dorms. Thanking the reasonable dorm rules that allowed for late-night jogs, he stepped out of the building. 

As he shut the door behind him, he turned around, and his face blanched. 

Yaoyorozu’s face stared back at him. She was in a running outfit as well. Her surprised disposition transformed into a smile. She waved, and Awase meekly waved back. 

Figuring that she was probably waiting for him, he quickened his pace to meet her in the middle of the road. 

“Yaoyorozu-san, hi. Didn’t expect to see you.” He mustered a smile.

“Same here, Yosetsu-san. I jog every night, so it’s the first time I’ve seen you this late. Are you jogging as well?” 

“Uh no, just taking a walk.”

“Sure! I’m fine with that too.”

Awase frantically waved his hands. “Oh, you really don’t have to...”

Her lips widened into a smile like the crescent moon above them. “No, but it’s fun to have someone to talk to. I’d prefer this than jogging alone.” 

Was she always this friendly and bubbly to everyone? Awase was astounded by her amiability. But he gave an affirming nod, and the two set off down the lane. 

They first chatted about schoolwork and friends, about the antics of the guys, which Yaoyorozu laughed at, charmingly. But Awase knew that the conversation would somehow lead to their near-death experience. To his surprise, it was Yaoyorozu who initiated it. 

“How are you holding up?” She asked. “After the camp, I mean.” 

Awase looked at the asphalt. “Good, I guess,” He replied evasively. “You?”

“Same, doing great.” Awase looked at her beaming expression, and his heart plummeted. She looks totally okay.

“Well,” she continued, “as great as I can be, since, y’know...” Her voice softened to a mouse’s squeak. “We were both there.”

The thought of the monster loomed over both of them, silencing the conversation for a moment. He glanced at her again. Her smile seemed less curved now, almost as if she was scared.

Of course she’s scared, idiot. She nearly died too, Awase scolded himself. 

“I...can’t sleep. It’s been difficult to,” He confessed towards the pavement. 

Yaoyorozu didn’t reply, and Awase was beginning to wonder if he had said it too softly when she said, “You too? That’s good.”

Awase looked at her, and her face reddened, though with the faint lamplight it was hard to see. “I mean, I don’t mean it that way! Just –” 

“I know, Yaoyorozu-san, don’t worry.” He chuckled, and she relaxed. Continuing, “I’m glad too. You looked...you looked really well in school.”

“Well, so did you. You looked quite happy with your friends, I thought you had gotten over it,” She said.

Me? Was there another Awase walking around? She really thought I was coping well?

“I – I’m surprised you thought that way,” He managed. “It’s been a horrible few weeks. I thought it might have showed.”

She shook her head adamantly. “Have you visited Hound Dog-sensei, Yosetsu-san?” She asked with evident concern. 

“Just once.”

Yaoyorozu frowned. “That’s not enough. I had to go at least thrice. Why don’t you?” 

“Because...” Awase trailed off. How do you explain this to a girl? 

He doubted the intelligence of Momo Yaoyorozu, because she read his mind. “Don’t tell him I told you this, but Bakugo-san went for a session too, you know.”

His jaw dropped. “Bakugo? But how...?”

She nodded. “We’re good friends, so please don’t tell anyone else. I only did so because there’s nothing wrong with a guy going for counselling, okay? As heroes, we’re bound to experience such things. Ah, sorry if I sound naggy!”

“No, it’s okay. I...I needed to hear that. Thank you, Yaoyorozu-san.”

“No problem.” 

They enjoyed a comfortable silence on the walk back. When they saw their dormitories close by, Yaoyorozu said, “Yosetsu-san? Can I give you my number?”

“Huh?” The question made him blink at her. 

“I’d like someone to talk to, if I want to. I know my classmates went through trauma of their own, but nothing really could compare to what we faced...I feel that they wouldn’t understand fully.”

Awase nods slowly. “Sure.” 

Some tapping on a screen later, and the two depart with a goodbye and a smile. Awase clambers onto his bed, and although the nightmarish thoughts don’t disappear as one would expect in a fantasy, he does sleep a little more sounder. That’s fine by him. 

I had more to talk about for these two, but as two schoolmates who just shared a near-death experience, opening their innermost thoughts on that basis with no prior meetings seems a bit rushed. Hope you liked it, and if anyone knows the person who started this, lemme know and I’ll credit them. 

P.S: Oh wait this ship is popular enough to be an autofilled tag? Well, I’ll be damned. I doubted you again, BNHA fandom. 

P.P.S wtf there’s a kodai x yaoyorozu? I thought I was the only madlad that wrote a fanfic on that. That’s 3 for fandom, 0 for me. Brb gonna AO3 this. If anyone has good fics on that niche ship, pls tell me. I’ll be very grateful

Update on kodai x yaoyorozu. I was swindled. There’s like one post apparently, even though I freaking tagged the fic I wrote on them, and it didn’t show up. So now I’m wondering how many jewels of posts are just concealed because of Tumblr’s shitty search engine. 

what is popping, home - slices?   if you’ve been in the group chat—then you are aware of my wee identity crisis :     involving the dropping of three, picking up of one.   don’t worry, they’ll be back!   whenever i feel alive again.   SO NEVER.   jk.   anyway…   in the meantime, with the exception of odette and julian—i offer you my trashiest child  (found in the dumpster behind burger king wrapped in tinfoil.   * australian accent *  think they were gonna throw her on the barbie…   huh?)   so, SEE BELOW for the 411 on this 4′11 gremlin.

INTRODUCTION.

☢     —     (  KATIE DOUGLAS, AGENDER, SHE/THEM  )     Trading in their tattoo gun for a chainsaw might not come easy for MINOO PEARCE. This twenty-two year old artist brings spray cans galore, divergent thinking, and a history of shoplifting to the table … but their small stature and double-dealing could drag the group down. And while their unorthodox nature might raise group morale, their arrogance might give them a few enemies. That’s the last thing anyone needs right now. Hopefully, in the apocalypse movie that’s now their life, this QUINCY PUNK will make it to the end credits.

BASICS.

born in boston, massachussets—or as i like to call it…   massachuchu—minoo is the first and only child of two garbage folk.   mitch & rachel pearce.   devout catholics.   patriotic.   all - american.   thoroughly unfit to be parents.   only in a sexy  “our daughter isn’t her own person but an extension of ourselves”  kinda way.   slammed like a ping pong ball between being invisible and controlled this one.

a military brat, too…   meaning that no place was permanent, and boston was ditched before she could take her first step.   she has lived in boise, in a small fishing town south of anchorage, and once her family spent six months in waipahu.   when she was thirteen her father got a permanent position in fort elms.   lucky she!

during the flashes of love and pampering  (see: no autonomy)  minoo was subjected to the cringe - worthy world of child pageantry.   we love it when mommy lives vicariously through us!   even if she aims for jonbenet ramsey…   ending up with honey boo boo instead.   don’t get it twisted, though—she was little miss texas during her prime  (age 8).   AND WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT.   not unless you wanna get shanked   * stabby motions *   …   side note :     she still fits into her last puffy - armed dress.   we don’t talk about that either.

she eventually learned to put her foot down.   much to rachel’s horror.   sorry not sorry, darling.   minoo abandoned the gowns for band tees soon after.   not as much as a speck of rogue on this honey - pie these days, just some sick, sick raccoon eyes.   call it what it is…   punk rock.

minoo first found her greatest passions  (shoplifting and vandalism.   not necessarily in that order.)  when she was eleven years old.   she pocketed a strawberry scented hello kitty eraser from macy’s and she has not looked back since.   a habit which earned her a trip to boarding school.   catholic.   gag us with a spoon.   side note 2 :     she still fits into her middle school uniform, too.

all jokes—they’re not jokes—aside…   she is not completely hopeless.   in fact, she is a little miss smarty - pants.   minoo got a raging hard - on for classic literature  (jane austen, what’s good?)  and conceptual art  (richard hambleton, what’s good?).   not much of a writer but one hell of a graffiti artist—most of her work can be spotted around town.   some genuine, some dicks.   TALENT!   a good portion of her art can be found on mj herself, though.   stick ‘n pokes, babes—we love to see it. 

minoo is also a mother.   she has a son.   and he’s a really good boy.   almost bigger than she is now…   they grow up so fast, don’t they?   his name is rusty, and he’s the cutest saint bernard you ever did see.   her best friend.   her only friend, really.   intended to be a guard dog, my boy rusty flopped—onto the couch that is.   he is a certified couch potato, something minoo can relate to.   AND SHE LOVES HIM SO!   the only person she’d put before herself.   dog - person…   

once intended to get her license.   that opportunity was shot when she chose teenage rebellion over independence.   you see, mj here has got herself a rap sheet longer than herself.   (not that impressive all things considered.)   and she takes much pride in it.   which means that when daddy dearest tried to have her late teen mishaps expunged—she saw red.   psychological help, i’ll get her some.   now she’s twenty - two and destined to travel the world by skateboard…   all because she backed the family jeep into their neighbour’s backyard.   nobody was hurt, alright.   dare i say yet?

SPEED RUN!     got nancy spungen for a role model.   saving up to run off to sacramento.   hates authority yet somehow has an authority kink.   adhd embodied.   looks like the artwork of numerous kindergarteners.   thinks attention is love.   homeless by choice (nobody said she was smart…   except i did.)  could eat her weight in olives.   anarchist without a cause.   10/10 will break into your house.   took fuck the police too literally that one time.   fantasises about her dad’s suicide.   wants to be loved.   does not want to love.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

friend - o’s :    i think it goes without saying that minoo is a handful.   although i still think she should be allowed some buds.   whether through her MANY INTERESTS  (literature, art, punk rock, skating, large dogs, disappointing her parents…)  or just through circumstance.   she is twenty - two, and never made it to art school—*  that one vine vc *   way to go, paul mitch!—but she did go to fort elms high all four years.   someone’s bound to know her!   just give me some bitches to put up with her shit.   god bless america.

parental figure :    listen…   she needs this.   obviously!   just some OLD PERSON who doesn’t tell her that she stinks and that her tattoos are ugly.   she has a lifetime of trauma to make up for.   we need some rachel and mitch opposites to fix that shit, alright.   and stat!   she intends on being dead by twenty - seven.   cobain hasn’t even bit it yet, and still…   she’s so ahead of her time…

enemy slash victim :    she stinks.   (yes, this is her dad speaking.)   and is a complete fucking nuisance.   if she decides you suck then she wont settle for simply knowing herself—you also have to know.   really know…   it’s no fun hating somebody if they don’t know it, man.   just let her pull some cutesy pranks, you know?   ordering half a dozen pizzas to their house, leave their number in the x - rated section of blockbuster, graffiti an ugly portrait of their ugly face on their driveway, slash their tires…

and that’s it, fellas!   please love her…   or else…   :gun_emoji:

Coco Writes

OK, so I know I’m not always great about summarising my fics on here; I usually just post links. But here is a masterpost of all my fics!

Les Miserables

The Leader And The Cynic

Rated T

1/1 chapter; 1226 words

Summary:

A series of moments from the relationship of Enjolras and Grantaire. Because now my happiness depends on the happiness of fictional revolutionaries. Modern AU

Read on FF.net

Series - On Se Sent Comme Par Magie

The Destiny Of Cosette

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

22/22 chapters; 88,475 words

Summary:

Cosette is an ordinary Parisian teenager - until one day, she stumbles across a powerful Faery being attacked by an ogre! And when she inadvertently uses magic to protect the Faery, Enjolras, she realises that she’s maybe not as normal as she thought. Enjolras invites her to attend Faery school in another dimension with him, where they become friends with three other faeries - Courfeyrac, Jehan and Éponine - and form Les Amis. But all is not well in the Magic Dimension -

What’s the deal with Grantaire, Marius, Bahorel and Combeferre - four cute wizards from another school?

What are Patron-Minette - a trio of witches - planning?

And who is Fantine, the mysterious Nymph who keeps appearing in Cosette’s dreams?

Read on AO3

The Shadow Phoenix

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

26/26 chapters; 165,435 words

Summary:

Les Amis start their second year at Musain College for Faeries, and right off the bat, strange things begin happening in the Magic Dimension. Musichetta, a water Faery, arrives at the school begging for help to rescue her friends, the Piskies, and Patron-Minette have busted out of rehabilitation with the help of a strange skeletal knight - who matches Musichetta’s description of the Piskies’ kidnapper. With the help of Musichetta, Feuilly - a Wizard and new member of Les Amis -, and Professor Mabeuf, the wise new philosophy teacher, this year promises to be as exciting as the last!

Read on AO3

The Warlock Of The Flame

Rated T

Major Character Death

18/25 chapters; 122,516 words

Summary:

Cosette’s life is going great! With Lord Méchant defeated, her final year at Musain College for Faeries is going to be normal (for once); her relationship with Marius is going spectacularly (and it looks like there’s a proposal in the pipeline!); and there’s nothing to suggest that the Magical Dimension is in any danger. But then news of something horrible happening on Musichetta’s home planet reaches the ears of Les Amis - and according to Headmaster Myriel, there’s only one Warlock who could have caused it. As Cosette and her friends face off with the culprit, it becomes more and more apparent that his true nature and past are darker than any of them could have imagined...

Read on AO3

***

Total Drama

Dear Diary

Rated M

Major Character Death, Reference To Eating Disorders and Attempted/Implied Sexual Assault

9/? chapters; 27,617 words

Summary:

"Dear Diary - My teen angst bullshit now has a body count."

Heather Chandler. Gwen Duke. Lindsay McNamara. Courtney Sawyer. Together they make up the most powerful clique at Westerburg High. Most people would die to get into it.

Courtney would kill to get out of it.

Enter Duncan Dean. He has a way with women, a way with words, and a very special way with a gun.

"It's God versus my boyfriend, and God's losing..."

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

A Little Fall Of Rain

Rated T

Major Character Death

1/1 chapter; 663 words

Summary:

In the midst of the July Uprising, Gwen Thénardier takes a bullet for long time friend Duncan Pontmercy, despite his love for Courtney and his obliviousness towards her feelings for him. Gwen as Éponine, Duncan as Marius. Based off the scene in the musical. I don't own TDI or Les Mis. Warning: Character Death.

Read on FF.net

Freak Out, Let It Go

Rated K+ (G for AO3 users)

1/1 chapter; 271 words

Summary:

Alternatively called ‘What Happens When I listen To Avril Lavigne For Three Hours Straight’. One-shot starring our favourite crazy redhead. Enjoy.

Read on FF.net

Bubblegum Bitch

Rated T

1/1 chapter; 539 words

Summary:

Heather is shiny and perfect on the outside, but on the inside she's a backstabbing user - a mess.

Read on FF.net

I Wish

Rated T

Implied Character Death

1/1 chapter; 357 words

Summary:

When Courtney doesn't show up after TDWT's finale, Duncan does some serious thinking about the past.

Read on FF.net

***

Miraculous Ladybug

mArinette

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

7/8 chapters

Summary:

Marinette tells a lie. A pretty big lie. And soon one lie turns into another, and before she knows it, she's going out of her way to keep the lie going.

When Lila lies, it's sloppy. But Marinette's lie is all too believable.

At least no one else is getting hurt by her lie.

But Marinette's about to find out how hard it is to be known as the school slut.

An Easy A AU.

Read on AO3

Series - A Miraculous Musical

Cute Boys With Short Haircuts

Rated G

No Archive Warnings Apply

1/1 chapter

Summary: 

Marinette sees Adrien and Kagami kissing and jumps to conclusions. Hurt and upset, she heads up to her balcony to do the one thing that cheers her up: singing a really angsty song.

Adrien had nothing to do with the kiss. He just wants to ask Marinette out. He passes her balcony as Chat Noir and hears the most beautiful singing voice... but the song is so sad. And then he sticks around just a little too long, and catches sight of something he shouldn't have...

Read on AO3

Act One: Whalesong

Rated T

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

2/? chapters

Summary:

Marinette's family receives tragic news, and suddenly her cousin becomes her roommate. With her only possessions being a small suitcase of clothes and a bizarre hair-clip, anyone connected to María Sugrue-Dupain begins to become infected with some sort of singing virus - in which they have no choice but to sing about their problems. Ms Bustier, ever resourceful, takes the opportunity to direct the class in a production of the musical 'Heathers', and there is drama on-stage and off it.

But why does the singing virus exist at all? Why is Gabriel Agreste suddenly so interested in Adrien's schoolmates? And seriously, is Nathalie OK? The Gorilla wants to know if he should call someone. Should he call someone?

Read on AO3

Series - Let Me Be Loved

More Adventurous

Rated G

No Archive Warnings Apply

1/1 chapter

Summary:

"And it's only doubts that we're counting On fingers broken long ago. I read with every broken heart We should become more adventurous..."

As Marinette sings at a Kitty Section concert, Adrien starts to notice her in a new light. Unfortunately, he's too late, even if he's not quite sure what he's too late for.

100% inspired by 'More Adventurous' by Rilo Kiley

Read on AO3

***

Equestria Girls

Dazzlings

Rated M

Contains Major Character Death, Reference To Eating Disorders and Attempted/Implied Sexual Assault

13/13 chapters

Summary:

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw! Nancy Drew is onto you, Sunset."

Sunset Shimmer wished she was popular, and she became popular -

And suddenly she wished she wasn’t popular.

When Sunset is faced with a fate seemingly worse than death, mysterious new kid Flash Sentry suggests she take matters into her own hands and use drain cleaner, Ich Lüge bullets, and adult ignorance to make the world a better place.

But is his vision of a world without bullies really worth the cost?

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

***

Original Work

Our Relationship Was A Rainbow

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

1/1 chapter

Summary:

An original piece following the course of a relationship that in spite of glowing all the colours of the rainbow, ended grey and cloudy.

Read on AO3

An Anthology Of Verse, written by a traumatised (yet certified) idiot

Rated G

No Archive Warnings Apply

2/? chapters

Summary:

I asked my followers on Tumblr if they'd be interested in reading some of my original poetry if I posted it here. Four likes and a comment saying "Yes please!!" is more than good enough for me. I hope you enjoy it!

(Note: A lot of this was initially written a few years ago - or even longer. Some of it has - naturally - been edited since my initial draft, but some of it may have a different style to my more recent writing.)

(Another Note: I will be posting new poems as they come to me, or I rediscover them. I will also update tags as I go.)

Read on Ao3

Kota Chapter 10: Worthy of a Miraculous

Beginning | Previous | ToC | Next

"And then, Jalil goes-" Alix stopped walking mid story, eyes narrowing across the school courtyard. "What is she up to now?"

Behind her, Lacy, Kim, and Max all stopped walking. Lacy followed Alix's gaze to where Chloe was talking down to some kids from another class.

"That girl looks close to tears," Lacy commented.

"Come on," Alix said, beginning to walk over the Chloe.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Max said. "I estimate we have a 79% chance of ma - and she's gone."

Lacy sprinted to catch up with Alix, surprised that the boys weren't following her. A few seconds later, the two came up upon the scene.

"Chloe," Lacy warned.

Chloe scoffed. "Don't Chloe me. I'm just helping these two girls look a little more approachable."

Lacy glanced at the two girls. One had acne, the other glasses, but other than that they looked fine (they look fine with those things, the back of Lacy's mind scolded). But both looked close to tears.

"Ignore her," Alix advised. "Life is much better when you do."

"You're just jealous because I look better than you," Chloe scoffed.

"I really don't care," Alix replied. "Come on, let's get you somewhere with more pleasant company."

"It's fine," one of the girls said with a sniffle. "I promise."

Lacy sat down next to her. "No, it's not. You shouldn't have to take whatever she was saying."

"Since when did you grow a backbone, Hatzi?" Chloe asked.

Lacy sighed. "Honestly, Chloe, go bug someone whose paid enough to deal with you."

Chloe scoffed and walked off, and Lacy and Alix exchanged exasperated looks.

"She's in a bad mood today," Max commented as he and Kim joined the girls.

"Doesn't give her the right to take it out on others," Lacy said. She turned to the two girls. "Are you two alright?"

One of the girls nodded - she seemed a little shell shocked, but whatever Chloe had said had finally rolled off. The other girl still looked near tears.

"Listen," Alix said. "Whatever Chloe said, ignore it. Your appearance doesn't matter that much anyways - its who you are inside that does, and in that case, she's much more uglier than you."

"She's uglier than you on the outside to," Lacy commented. "I mean, have you seen her makeup?"

Both girls chuckled.

"Thank you," the second girl said.

"You're welcome," Alix said with a smile. "Me and Lace need to get to art class, but I'm sure Kim here will cheer you up if you need it."

"Did you know I could put my toe in my ear?" Kim questioned. The girls chuckled again.

"See you guys later," Lacy said, waving at them as she and Alix made their way to the art room.

"Uh oh," Alix said, gesturing to where Chloe had stopped, and was arguing with the art teacher. Nathaniel and Marc stood to the side, watching with tense expressions.

"Now what?" Alix asked as she and Lacy joined them.

Nathaniel shrugged.

"This again?" Marinette asked as she walked up behind them. "I just calmed Mylene down from something Chloe said."

"We caught her harassing some poor kids in the courtyard," Alix added.

"It's like she's going around insulting everyone she sees," Nathaniel commented.

Marc sighed. "I don't know how you stand being in class with her."

"We need to get her to stop," Marinette said. "Or someone's going to end up akumatized."

"Ignoring her seems to work," Alix suggested.

"The whole school can't ignore her," Marinette said. "She'll set someone off."

Lacy frowned and watched Chloe. She was definitely on the defensive - if they could figure out why, maybe - maybe - they could talk her down.

"Hey, where's Sabrina?" Lacy asked.

"She's been following Lila around all day," Nathaniel said. "Apparently, Lila knows someone who can help Sabrina with her dream of being a police off-"

Nathaniel trailed off, realization settling in on his face.

"Oh."

"So she's upset because Sabrina replaces her with a different mean girl," Marinette summarized.

Nathaniel frowned at the mean girl comment, but didn't say anything.

"It's a bad day for it," Lacy said. "That akuma last night kept us all up, and everyone's a little cranky."

"Yeah," Marinette agreed. "Especially me." She took a deep breath, and before anyone could say this is a bad idea, she called out to Chloe.

"What, Dupain-Cheng?" Chloe asked, putting her arm on her hip and glaring at Marinette.

"Shut up," Marinette said. "We're all irritated over the akuma last night, and you're not helping."

Chloe scoffed. "I'm sorry if you had problems sleeping. Perhaps you need a nicer bed - not that you could afford one."

"Seriously, Chloe," Marinette said. "This is a bad day, and someone is going to get akumatized."

"And how is that my problem?" Chloe questioned.

Lacy noticed that the art teacher had excused himself, and felt a bit of dread in her stomach.

"I'm sure he's fine," Alix whispered in her ear. "He's got thick skin."

Lacy nodded. "You're right. I just worry."

Alix scowled. "This whole akuma situation is messed up. Hawkmoth sucks."

"Agreed."

Chloe and Marinette continued arguing.

"And if that's not enough, you're just going around-"

"Please, you're just mad because Cesaire isn't talking -"

"Alya has nothing to do with-"

"Girls!" Miss Bustier inserted herself into the argument, forcing the two apart. "Calm yourselves down, please!"

"I'm not doing anything-"

"She started it-"

"Now, or you'll both go down to the principles office."

Marinette stomped her foot in frustration. "I was just trying-"

"Marinette, principles office, now."

"Ha ha," Chloe said.

"You too, Chloe."

"What! You can't-"

Lacy turned her head, noticing a growing cacophony behind her. She tapped Alix's shoulder, bring her attention to the large amounts of students climbing the stairs.

"Akuma?" Lacy asked.

The two girls ran to the handrail, looking down at a crowd of students.

"Whoever it is is probably after Chloe," Lacy guessed.

"Look, it looks like some kind of paint," Alix said. "You know what, I bet it was an art project Chloe ruined."

"Alix!" Max raced up to them. "Those two girls got stuck in the locker room. Kim needs help getting them out."

"Marinette went that way - to grab her!" Alix said. "Let's get down there."

While Max chased after Marinette, Lacy and Alix pushed against the flow of students escaping to find Kim.

He saw them first and waved them over.

"The paints blocking the door," Kim said. "They has just closed it when it started but now it's almost impossible to get open."

"We need a chainsaw," Alix decided.

"We don't have a chainsaw," Lacy said.

"Don't you have a multi tool?" Alix said. "If we can take the door off of its hinges, we can lift it straight up. Surely that's easier than pushing it."

Lacy nodded, grabbing her bag and swinging it off her shoulder. She dug around before grabbing the tool.

Alix did the first two hinges, but Kim was the only one who could reach the third. By the time they were done, the paint was up to their knees.

Getting the door to go up was a challenge. Kim lifted from one side and Alix and Lacy from the other. Once everyone else was out, they just dropped the door back to where it was.

"Right," Alix said. "Let's get back up stairs."

.

The Akuma called herself Canvas, and wherever she went, paint dripped off of her arms. She could also blast people with paint, which hurt.

Chat Noir ended up being blown back all the way to the bakery, and a few moments later, Ladybug skidded next to him, also covered in paint.

"Ow," Ladybug complained. She took Chat Noirs hand and he helped her back onto her feet.

"Hawkmoth can really weaponize everything," she muttered.

"And Chloe can akumatize anyone," Chat Noir added, huffing in annoyance. Ladybug gave him a quizzical look, and he looked away to hide his emotions.

Because, yeah, he was a little disappointed.

"Chloe's having a bad day," Ladybug said. "I know you want her to change, but change isn't a linear progression. And I'm starting to think that it has to be people in her civilian life that help her, not us."

Like me, Chat Noir said. I must be doing something wrong as her friend.

"Besides, I know what it's like to have a fight with your best friend like she had," Ladybug continued. "I think we can cut her some slack."

Chat Noir turned back to Ladybug, surprised to hear sympathy from her, towards Chloe of all people.

"Did something happen?" He questioned.

"I visited Rena and kinda blew it," Ladybug admitted. "I haven't been able to look at her all day, and we're really close as civilians, so."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Chat Noir replied. "But Rena's pretty impulsive. I'm sure she's just as much to blame as you are."

"Oh, she is. And don't get me started on the arguments we're having on the civilian side. I just hope I didn't make it worse." Ladybug sighed, and Chat Noir could see her getting into hero mode. "But we don't have time for that. We have an akuma to beat."

"Do you have a plan?" Chat Noir asked.

Ladybug hesitated. "We need some way to mess up her aim. If every time she hits us we go flying, we'll never get anywhere."

"Sounds like you'll need to move like lightning," Chat Noir said. "Should be quit a show, don't you think?"

"Oh, look at you, coming up with the plan this time. Stay here, I'll only need a second to grab the miraculous. Then you can find Ryuko and I'll get Roi Singe."

"Sounds like a plan."

While Ladybug went to find her miraculous, Chat Noir snuck into the bakery and bought himself a few macaroons. Thankfully, he managed to eat them all before Ladybug reappeared, or else she would probably be mad at him. But what else was he supposed to do - wait outside the best bakery in Paris and not get something to eat? That almost sounded rude.

Ladybug reappeared, gave Chat Noir a look like she knew he had eat macaroons while she was gone, and handed him the dragon miraculous.

"Last I saw Kagami, she was in the park practicing her fencing," Ladybug said. "Meet me at the entrance to the school once you've found her."

"Got it."

.

Ladybug landed on the roof of the school, watching for Kim. She spotted him near the lockers with Alix and Lacy, helping some students out of the locker room. Ladybug caught Kim's eye, and once everyone was safely out of the room, he dropped the door (why he was holding a door Ladybug had no clue) and parted from the crowd to a deserted, unpainted part of the school close to her.

She dropped down next to him. "We need your help. Canvas has magically induced aim that means its impossible for her to miss."

"Sounds like a job for Roi Singe," Kim said, flexing his arms.

Ladybug rolled her eyes. "You remember the rules?"

"Yes," Kim replied. "As soon as I'm done, the miraculous goes right back to you."

"Good," Ladybug confirmed. She handed the box to him, and Kim snatched it from her hand.

Excited, are we? Ladybug mentally teased.

Xuppu appeared in a flash of brown light and immediately blew a raspberry. Kim replied in kind.

"Let's go!" Xuppu said.

Kim placed the headband on his head and said his transformation, and a second later Roi Singe stood in front of her.

"Alright, Chat Noir should be here in a moment," Ladybug said. "Once he gets here, we go up against Canvas. Ryuko will distract while you use your powers to throw Canvas's aim off."

"Ryuko's joining us?" Roi Singe asked. "Sweet! I'm a big fan of her. It was so cool when you were fighting Mayhem, and she was all like -" he struck a pose that sorta kinda looked like Ryuko yesterday.

"I hope I didn't actually look like that."

Ryuko and Chat Noir had arrived, and they quickly joined Ladybug and Roi Singe.

"No, you were much cooler," Chat Noir replied.

Ladybug agreed, but she didn't say so. "So the plan is this. Ryuko, you need to distract Canvas - be careful, she's really fast and her aim is true."

"So is mine," Ryuko replied.

"Roi Singe will sneak up on her while you're distracting, and use Uproar to throw off her aim. Then Chat Noir and I will swing in and defeat the akuma."

"A good plan," Ryuko said. "I will not let you down."

"Me neither!" Kim added.

"Let's do this."

.

They found Canvas screaming at the art teacher and demanding to know where Chloe was.

"Chloe was responsible for another akuma?" Ryuko asked.

Roi Singe made a face. "She's been really unreasonable all day. It was only a matter of time."

"Alright, you two," Ladybug said. "You're up."

Ryuko nodded, jumping off of the roof and landing behind Canvas. Canvas turned to her, snarling, and lifted a hand to blast her with paint.

Ladybug could definitely see the paint curve to try to hit Ryuko, but she was still too fast. She dodged out of the way, and rolled under the blast. Canvas shot another blast, but Ryuko dodged again.

"I'm thinking we can use the Puddler trick to untie her belt," Ladybug said. "I bet that's where the akuma is."

It was a good bet. Canvas had an off-white sleeveless dress that came down to her knees, stained with black paint around her hips. Her hair was dripping with brown paint, and her feet were bare. The only thing different was a belt made out of canvas, that wrapped around the black spots.

"Lucky charm!" Ladybug called quietly, a deck of cards falling into her hands.

"I think the cards are stacked against Hawkmoth this time," Chat Noir commented.

Roi Singe landed silenced behind Canvas, a glittery top hat in his hand. He crept forward, doing his best not to draw attention to himself.

Ryuko dodged another throw, and Roi Singe lightly frisbee-d the hat at Canvas. It hit her in the shoulder blades, and she turned around with a snarl.

She blasted paint at Roi Singe, but the paint curved and hit the wall next to him.

Ladybug and Chat Noir dropped behind her.

"Time's up," Ladybug said.

Canvas whirled around again, brown paint flying off of her hair. "Only if you can find my akuma."

Ladybug hefted her yo-yo, which now had several cards attached to it, and wrapped it around Canvas's torso. She felt the cards snag onto her belt, and she retracted the yo-yo. The cards slid just right, untying the belt.

Roi Singe darted for the belt, grabbing in mid-air and rolling up to Ladybug with it still in his hand.

"You know, I almost feel unneeded," Chat Noir commented, watching as Ladybug ripped the belt.

"Don't be silly," Ladybug said. "This was your plan after all."

She captured the akuma, and summoned her miraculous cure. The paint washed off of her suit, and she felt the bruises she had acquired disappear.

"Good job team," Ladybug said.

"Pound it!"

.

Kim was grinning when he returned to class, obviously proud of his heroics.

"What's he grinning about?" Alix muttered. "It was just one door."

Lacy shoved her playfully. "It was a heavy door. Let him be proud!"

Marinette came in a few seconds afterwards, and she sat down next to Adrien with a huff.

"Where's Alya?" She asked, noticing the seat in front of her was empty.

"She's uploading her latest video," Nino said. "The connection is better in the library than in here."

"The connection is better in the catacombs than in here," Chloe muttered.

"Did she get any cool moments with Ryuko?" Kim asked.

"Of course she did," Adrien replied. "Ryuko's amazing, after all. Almost as cool as Ladybug or Rena Rouge."

"You like Ladybug a lot, don't you?" Marinette said, blushing a little.

"I just - she's really cool, and confident, and she always has a plan, and honestly she reminds me of you."

Marinette blushed harder as the rest of the class rushed to agree with her.

"Ladybug must be pretty cool then, if she's like Marinette," Lacy commented.

Chloe rolled her eyes and scoffed. "As if. Dupain Cheng wishes she was comparable to Ladybug."

"You know what? I don't think you should be allowed to talk anymore," Alix snapped. "You caused this whole thing, after all."

"If that girl hadn't been so clumsy-"

"Then your coffee wouldn't have made it into her artwork?" Alix finished. "Right."

"Are you accusing me of something?" Chloe asked, her voice rising.

"Yep," Alix said. "Being a brat."

"Alix, she's not worth your time," Mylene said.

"No, someone needs to shut her up," Alix said. "Another person was akumatized because of her."

"You're right, Alix." Marinette stood up and walked up to Chloe's desk. "Listen, Chloe, I know you're having a bad day, we all have them sometimes. I just hope one day you learn other ways to deal with your problems instead of taking them out on others."

"Marinette's right, Chlo," Adrien added, stepping up behind ehr. "I'm disappointed in you." "I - Adrikins, how could you? I-I didn't even do anything!"

"You poured coffee on someone's art project," Marinette said. "That's a big deal! People spend hours working on projects like that! Days, sometimes!"

"Well it's not my fault it took that long to make something ugly," Chloe snapped back.

"You know what? Whatever." Marinette turned and marched back to her seat, and Adrien followed.

Chloe slumped down farther into her seat, scowling. Then her face froze.

Lacy followed her eyes to where Alya stood in the doorway, steaming with anger.

"Don't talk to Marinette like that," Alya said, walking up to Chloe. "She's still trying to be nice to you, despite everything you've done."

"I don't want-"

"No Chloe, you don't get to speak." Alya scowled. "In fact, I never want to hear your voice again. That girl was one my friends from the school blog, and she spent a week working hard - something you'd never understand."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

Alya looked like she was going to scream. "Why do people insist on giving you chance upon chance upon chance? You're nothing but a brat."

"A brat? I am a superhero, unlike you," Chloe boasted.

Alya slammed her fist down on the table in front of her. "That. That is what I don't get. Ladybug - the Ladybug, the savior of Paris and both mine and your personal hero - gave you chance, Chloe. She gave you a chance, and you blew it." Alya slashed her hand through the air. "You were never worthy of a miraculous."

With that, Alya huffed and turned around. A second later, Nino followed her out of the classroom. Marinette also moved to follow her, but thought better of it and stayed in her seat.

Chloe stayed dead still for a moment, but then her shoulders started to shake. And then shake harder.

And then she was out of the classroom and running towards the bathroom.

What's up pals get ready for some Bubba HCs cuz sometimes you just wanna remodel and claim a popular fictional killer as your bf. @xeensbin this is all your fault.

Some of the HCs get kinda nsfw so haha you've been warned 👌

I've read up a fair bit about the movies and honestly there is just a jumble of different canons. I'm kind of just picking out bits I like and making this big boi dateable.

Essentially the Sawyer family run a small town in Texas. They're almost Mafia like in how it's run. Everyone in the town listens to and respects them, turning a blind eye and occasionally helping in their terrifying acts.

They often prey on people visiting the town, stopping for gas or a bite to eat. Other than that people in the town who anger the family end up on the chopping block.

Bubba is essentially their muscle. The youngest brother but the biggest, he can and will take down just about anyone. Though his personality has a sweet and shy side to it, due to his towering physique, being predator rather than prey comes natural to him.

He doesn't approve of his families actions and would love to live a normal life. He has never attempted to leave or change things however because he know the only way to escape would essentially be to kill his whole family. AND regardless of how flat out terrifying and disgusting they are, he is more or less wrapped around each one of their fingers and will do anything they ask, especially his mamma.

He's completely mentally able (a change from most of his canon interpretations) but he does struggle with some anger issues. That and being around death and like. The most disgusting acts of immorality since the day he was born has led to him being highly desensitized to traumatic things. Though he is afraid of dying, he also knows that he's one of the biggest guys around and stronger than just about anyone so he doesn't shy away from physical challenges.

He's very tall and built like a brick house. Broad and a bit chubby but overwhelmingly strong (especially in the arms) - he has tanned skin with a wine spill birthmark over most of the right side of his face. He isn't particularly attractive, having sunken and tired eyes, a late round nose and very thick eyebrows and ears that stick out. He has nice lips though, v plump. His hair is dark, messy and wavy, not too short but not long either. He has a small amount of facial hair and a fair amount of body hair.

In dead by daylight (the universe in which I ship with Bubba), he is probably the most uncomfortable and startled out of all the killers. In his everyday life he kills and eats people not because he necessarily wants to but because that's just the life he has to live. Now he's in a situation where his family has no control over him but now instead he is being overseen by something called the Entity.

He really longs to live for himself and make his own choices but in reality he wouldn't know what to do with himself. Bubba has lived under his family's control for so long and has lived in a town that revolves solely around the Sawyer families existence that leaving that bubble would be jarring. Going from a cannibalistic murderer in a place where your actions are never punished to trying to be your everyday guy is a bit of a challenge.

He's arguably one of the most terrifying killers to come up against. Once he has a hold of you then you are NOT wiggling free and his strength is Herculean. And yknow, big guy with a mask made out of human skin and he'd wielding a chainsaw??? SCARY.

For the most part he goes along with this strange game the Entity has set up because... He doesn't know what else to do. Like I said, being a predator comes natural to him. Though he feels a small amount of remorse for those he kills, it doesn't make him hesitate.

Queenie is the only survivor he has a genuine soft spot for. At first it was just physical. He found himself staring and more or less enraptured whenever he saw her. Small, soft and curvy with a plump figure and a pretty cherubic face??? Dear God. He dwarfs her in size and he can't help the inappropriate thoughts that cross his mind.

After a few times of facing off against Bubba, his favouritism becomes obvious. He never attacks Queenie with his chainsaw and often gives her chances to escape or to rescue her fellow survivors. There are times where he's found her working on a generator and he's just loomed over her, knowing his job is to attack but not wanting to.

Of course it is uncomfortable on Queenie's end, though it's not like she isn't grateful. Leatherface goes from being a feared opponent to a preference for the survivors as long as Queenies around because- even though he only takes it easy on her - it also means they're more likely to be rescued or to escape.

Eventually his reluctance to harm Queenie becomes a mind boggling topic to the survivors. Most just think he doesn't want to hurt a pretty girl. It certainly intrigues Queenie and it makes her think about his humanity and morality.

It gets to the point where she even tries talking to him. The first few times he's so shocked he doesn't respond but soon if becomes one word answers and eventually sentences.

He has a small lisp as well as a nervous stutter so. Talking is not his strong suit though it's something he really wants to do. He's never really had the chance to share opinions or just... chat before.

It's not like they just have nice little conversations or anything, he is trying to kill her friends - but it's enough to create a wedge in Bubba's willingness to kill the other survivors and it also becomes a tactic for the survivors to escape him

YEAH they use Queenie as a distraction. Or more or less just send her to woo him, to calm him down, to convince him.

In the end they have a conversation of Queenie asking him questions, prying about why he does what he does. His responses are that of someone who is ashamed and she can see a person in There, like a genuine human being. So she invites him to join them as a survivor and to stop being a killer.

He refuses at first, stunned and overwhelmingly shocked by her offer. Though he wants nothing more than to say yes he questions if he really could, if the Entity would allow it, if the other survivors would allow it.

Eventually however he does decide to join them, becoming a mystery to the group. Though he appears to be helpful and wanting to redeem himself they are on constant edge that this behemoth of a man could one day turn around and just slaughter them all.

Also constant jokes of comparing cannibalism to oral and whatever???? (Queenie: he isn't going to kill us. Do I look like I've been eaten?? Survivor: hah, YEAH, EATEN OUT MAYBE. GOT 'EM)

Their strange relationship becomes something of an endearing curiosity to the others. It can only be comparable to something like beauty and the beast, king Kong and... yknow... beauty. (Always beauty for some reason. Huh.) But Queenie really seems to be the only who genuinely trying to understand and include Bubba. She saw a glint of humanity in him and wants to coax it out and to nurture it, change him for the better.

But she's also into big, gross guys so that might also have something to do with it.

Though Bubba tries to act like a gentleman, he just cannot help the fact that he finds Queenie insanely attractive and is constantly just thinking about touching her and being on top of her, what expressions she would make if he was ever to kiss her, how soft and warm she'd be - some of his fantasies are a little less than sanitary and nothing he would ever want to voice out loud. It literally ranges from just wanting to kiss her, to thinking about having sex, to judt the dirtiest, most disgusting and degrading fucking possible. He is ashamed of his own thoughts often.

But idk guys please just accept this ship between this 4'11 soft girl and this near on 7ft tall cannibal murder boi.

You might have already addressed this but I keep hearing about people being upset with what happened to Fiore and was wondering your opinions? I'm not exactly sure what's upset people? I think there's unanswered questions and we may see him and DeBlanc again. Seth and Evan hinted to as much in their AMA. There was an illusion to a homosexual relationship between Fiore and DeBlanc but it was never confirmed. They loved each other but I think it was very innocent. I think they were supposed to be

Second half of message: 

Seen as innocent, since they are angels. They didn’t seem to understand the way the world worked in a lot of aspects. Two angels sleeping together doesn’t mean that it has to be sexual. And if Fiore and Cassidy had sex that doesn’t make him or Cassidy gay. It’s an angel and a vampire who I’m sure the concept of sexuality and even gender didn’t play into it…. If I’m making any sense lol

Response (Rachel’s, aka @hermouthslipped ): Ahh yes. Haha well, I have a Fiore/DeBlanc blog, so I am almost certainly going to be biased in this regard. That said, I will put forth my best effort approach the question impartially. 

To begin, let me say that I understand why the episode would not strike you as particularly devastating. I think there was (and is) a very passionate sect of fans who invested themselves in this aspect of the story, but they (we) were giving spotlight to dialogue and actions which otherwise could be overlooked by the blanket statement “The angels are weird.” 

But Fiore and DeBlanc were written to be together romantically. You’re right, sexuality transcends whatever the two of them were before they came to Earth - Yusef spoke at length about the characters struggling now they were a part of the physical world, a world they did not understand at all. In terms of pain, this means they’ve never felt it before. In terms of sex, this translates to the scene with the vibrator Jesse finds in their things - looking inquiringly at DeBlanc, DeBlanc replies unabashedly with “It was our first time, we didn’t know what we’d need.” (Sundowner)

This quote reflects the two’s profound confusion over how the world works - and makes the most sense if DeBlanc means “It was our first time…having human sex.” It also reflects how completely oblivious they are to what is and is not considered strange to humans. This fits in with their behavior a lot throughout the season - DeBlanc and Fiore apparently thinking that the “cut him open with a chainsaw” plan would satisfy Cassidy, DeBlanc and Fiore never feeling the need to explain why Genesis apparently lives in a coffee can, DeBlanc and Fiore being absolutely scandalized by Jesse’s curiosity about where Genesis came from, etc., etc…If Fiore slept (as in sex) with Cassidy, then he was surely sleeping (as in sex) with DeBlanc. I would actually be extremely uncomfortable with the scenario if that weren’t the case…it would feel much more exploitive and almost predatory - if Cassidy officiated Fiore into a variety of sex he apparently had no knowledge or experience with before. As I read the scene, Cassidy slept with Fiore to provide the “friendship” Fiore was so obviously lost without, the friendship he got from DeBlanc…friendship which would more aptly be described as a romantic relationship. It helped Fiore, because he was so alone at the time. I don’t think Fiore would have gotten the heart-eyes music when he looked at Cassidy laughing at his joke if he had not already experienced that sort of intimacy with someone else who he identified as a “friend.” The sex with Cassidy was ultra-intimate in what (who) it reminded Fiore of, and so it could not be shown - whereas the sex with the prostitute could be played for laughs, as Fiore was clearly completely uninterested. 

But you’re right, they left it ambiguous. There was enough room for viewers to not consider Fiore as in a relationship with DeBlanc. And that is a lot of the reason so many people are upset. Dominic Cooper referred to DeBlanc as the “love of [Fiore’s] life.” But none of the actual show runners had the balls to admit frankly that that was the nature of the two’s relationship. They offered the idea of Fiore sleeping with Cassidy as consolation prize to us not hearing them admit verbatim that Fiore and DeBlanc were together. This decision pissed a lot of people off, myself included. 

Now, this might be out of left field, depending on how much you followed the angelship theories, but the other integral component of DeBlanc and Fiore’s relationship was (is) this: DeBlanc is not an angel - he is a demon. I was (am) more sure about that aspect of the show than I was (am) sure about the “being in a relationship” aspect. Yusef said as much in an interview. DeBlanc speaks over Fiore when Fiore seems about to disagree with DeBlanc about the two of them being “from heaven.” (He says “Both of us” before Fiore can contradict him…as we see with the conversation about the angel phone, Fiore is not good at shutting up when he needs to.) DeBlanc talks about having been to Hell before, Yusef says that DeBlanc “took this job” to get out of hell, and explains Fiore isn’t as afraid of Hell because “He’s from heaven.” DeBlanc also never touches the angel phone. (He doesn’t have “angel hands”)

Now, if they were changing the direction of the story, that would be one thing. But it does not seem as though they are. In this last episode, Fiore never said DeBlanc was an angel - even though he was given plenty of opportunities to. When Cassidy asks “So the Saint can kill angels, right?” Fiore responds with “He can kill anyone. He killed DeBlanc.” 

The writers could have just had Fiore say “Yes, he killed DeBlanc.”

Another hint is given when Jesse is talking to Fiore about Eugene: “You said once you’d get him out for me.” To which Fiore replies: “Well, that’s not going to work. Not anymore. Besides, I’m never going back there.” 

Fiore could have just said “Well that’s not going to work. I’m never going back there.” Replying in the way that he did implied that there are two reasons Fiore is not going to rescue Eugene - one reason is stated, Fiore refuses to return to Hell. But the other reason, the first reason, is not stated. I think it makes the most sense for it be referring to the fact that Fiore no longer has DeBlanc to help him navigate hell - which DeBlanc would be able to do, because DeBlanc is a demon.

A final hint is the fact Fiore referred to both himself and DeBlanc as the individuals who hired the Saint (”we hired him, his contract is with us, he’ll listen to me”)…this is rather strange, because it sure seems like DeBlanc was killed more or less immediately…long before he could be counted as “hiring” anyone. IF DeBlanc was a demon, this would make more sense - as it would imply that both an angel and a demon are needed to open a contract with the Saint. McTavish has said that the Saint has not just been promised the opportunity to be reunited with his family, he has been promised the opportunity to be reunited with his family in Heaven. Transferring the Saint from Hell to Heaven would be a transaction involving both sides. 

I bring up this aspect of the fan theory because it recasts the two of them in my mind - I do not consider them to both be angels, and that alone means that they are less innocent than they might seem. Fiore knows about sex and prostitution. And DeBlanc at least knows that vibrators are not a component of gay sex - something he apparently learned, as he felt compelled to provide an explanation to Jesse.  

Of course, the logical conclusion from 1) Fiore and DeBlanc being together + 2) DeBlanc being a demon while Fiore is an angel is this: Fiore and DeBlanc are the celestial beings who conjoined and created Genesis. I am okay with this not being true (I have a lot of evidence supporting and refuting this aspect of it), but it just seems astronomically improbable to present two separate, unrelated angel/demon relationships. Had this theory been confirmed, Fiore and DeBlanc - a gay couple, at least to viewers (because you’re right, gender isn’t really a thing in Heaven) - would have been seamlessly woven into the plot in a capacity which does not make their characters’ arc based solely on their sexuality - yet while still exploring the latent theme of “forbidden love” - without the forbidden love referring to gender. 

The comics were extraordinarily homophobic. Were this theory to be a reality, the TV show would be fixing the original story’s failings in a manner which is progressive, thematically rich, and brilliantly subtle.

As we stand with the show now, they have - depending on whether or not you believe Fiore and DeBlanc were in a relationship - either killed four gay characters (I’m counting the mascot suicide in the finale), or killed two gay characters, and two gay-ish characters (again, if you do not believe that DeBlanc and Fiore were ever actually together.) Now, IF Rogen and Goldberg’s reddit chat actually yields hope in terms of continuing the characters’ story, I can forgive them. But I am wary, it was disappointing to hear how they referred to the two of them in Talking Preacher (aside from Cooper.)  

Now, I suppose I (we) could just be seeing what I (we) want to see. I have picked over this show so much, and I know that when you are in so deep - your vision can become fogged. And so perhaps all of this will sound like a conspiracy theory to you - which I get and understand. All of this however is the basis for the intense betrayal angelship fans felt at the episode’s conclusion - and why so many of them (us) are afraid to hope that the story will ever be reopened.

I hope this clarifies the emotional reaction certain fans are having - again, I do understand that this is not an aspect of the show universally followed. If you want to hear our reasoning for why we consider the relationship having existed (or presently exists, depending on how optimistic you are) - Kathryn (@priscillajeanohare) and I devoted our third episode to exploring the three aspects of the angelship fan theory…it expands on more of what I presented above.

Apologies for the long, long, long post - and thank you so, so, SO much for writing in, and for listening - it means a ton when you guys talk to us, we absolutely love it. Cheers.

–R

19+1 Chat Blanc and Miss Fortune Headcanons:

0) So, I’m guessing this is actually happening in an alternate continuity where everything is the same but the Kwamis are actually called  Ownis (Yarr Yarr I’m so Clever) and are mostly used for evil. Everything else is mostly the same, and it might one day open the door for an eventual Multiverse Crisis Crossover about Chat Blanc and Miss Fortune breaching to the main universe in order to steal Adrien’s and Marinette’s Miraculouses.

1) So, first of all: If Chat Noir is a Superhero with basically Supervillain Powers, does that mean that Chat Blanc is a Supervillain with Superhero Powers?

2) Like, does his powers go something like: “Catastrophe!” *slashes a Civilian* “There, I just cured you of your stomachache, you’re fucking welcome!” And then he dashes away while doing an evil laugh?

3) Or is it more damage control oriented? I mean, I’m guessing that Miss Fortune must the the most destructive of the two, does that mean that he has the Miraculous Chat Blanc Power? (Which is basically Miraculous Ladybug... BUT EVEEEELLLL!)

4) Speaking of Miss Fortune, I’d think her color scheme would be more on the lines of Purple and Black. I mean, Purple is both the color of royalty and a color associated with bad luck by actors and such, so I think it would be fitting, really.

5) I’m also pretty sure her powers is supposed to be something like Unlucky Trinket or something: She turns one or more random objects into something that will without fail cause the most amount of chaos. The severity of the chaos is proportional to the gravity of to the situation.

6) For example: Someone is performing an easy appendectomy, Miss Fortune Does Unlucky Trinket, all his scalpels have turned into spoons. Had they been performing an heart surgery instead, then they would have probably turned into something more harmful, like a chainsaw. Or the Sun.

7) Now, about Kwamis Ownis: Taking a leaf from Fairly Godparents, Anti-Tikki and Anti-Plagg are the opposite of their Kwami Counterparts. Which basically mean that Anti-Tikki is basically Plagg while Anti-Plagg is Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch...

8) Well, at least more than he already is now.

9) Ownis also represent counterpart animals to their counterpart Kwamis. So we have Anti-Plagg being the White Cat Miraculous to Plagg’s Black Cat, Anti-Tikki being the Dung Beetle Miraculous to Tikki’s Ladybug, Anti-Trixx being the Wolf/Fennec Miraculous to Trixx’s Fox, Anti-Nooroo being the Moth Miraculous to Nooroo’s Butterfly, Anti-Bee Kwami being the Wasp Miraculous to Bee Kwami’s Bee (Still don’t know her name goddammit), Anti-Duusu being the Raven Miraculous to Duusu’s Peacock and Anti-Wayzz being the Tortoise/Hare Miraculous to Wayzz’s Turtle.

10) Getting back to a previous headcanon of mine, Bridgette Dupain-Cheng and Felix Agreste are actually the Marinette and Adrien of this universe, with all that it entails.

11) Also, yo, since they’re both evil, they’re WAY more Yandere toward each other than their canon version.

12) In fact, It wouldn’t be too far to say that Bridgette/Miss Fortune is Yandere Simulator Levels of Yandere toward Felix.

13) Of course, she doesn’t really SHOW that while she’s in her civilian identity. She’s sweet, caring Bridgitte, Class President, everyone best friend, head over heels for Felix Agreste, snob stuck up antisocial bastard that shows nothing but contempt for her. Nobody would suspect that this sweet, innocent high school student at night turns into the infamous Miss Fortune, Terror of Paris, who, aided by the chivalrous Chat Blanc, (basically the quintessential Noble Demon), 

14) BTW, Her Yo-Yo can also turn into some sort of Chain Hook, Sharp, barbed blades perfect for grabbing coming out of the sides of the Yo-Yo at her command. Her inner psychopath/gamer makes her yell: “GET OVER HERE!” while she hooks someone. Chat Blanc secretly loves it.

15) The Love Square persists even here. The reason why they don’t want to reveal each other identities, however, is mostly for precaution sake. “In case someone manages to capture one of us, we will not be able to betray each other” “My Mistress, you know I would NEVER betra-” “Kitty, I would sell you for a pocket of chips and longer yard time, you don’t want me to know your identity.”

16) (Yeah, Chat Blanc calls her My Mistress I’m so Kinkshaming him)

17) Now, about Felix. The only reason why he’s at school was because it was his mother dying wish. He doesn’t want to be there, doesn’t want to socialize with anyone, AND WHY IS THE CLASS PRESIDENT STILL TRYING TO HIT ON HIM? He just wants to study alone, for fuck sake, what’s so difficult to understand?

18) And then he becomes Chat Blanc, and finds Miss Fortune, and he falls in love with just... How free she looks, jumping around, maiming people by the moonlight, not burdened by social norms and such.

19) And so he becomes her second in command, her dark knight, the Huntsman to her Evil Queen, trying to overthrow the government and take over France. And yeah, he might be a tad overbearing with his affections toward her, and his mistress might not look really that much interested in him, but still...

Tuesday

Monday

*

Cullen’s wearing his blue shirt. Must be Tuesday. Fuck, how can it only be Tuesday? Jesus Christ. At least I brought lunch today. Sure it’s left over pizza, but still, making an effort, right? I’ll get that loaf of bread on my way home tonight. Definitely.

Urg. Whose salad is that in the fridge? Right. Dorian. Who else could’ve made it. Wonder what else’s in here. Let’s see… yoghurt, more yoghurt, some kind of soup. Not sure if it started life as soup but it’s soup now. Ew. Gross. That one’s a biohazard. I’ll just… yeah. Close the fridge.

Coffee? Anyone want coffee? Just me? Well, I am the only one here.

Oh thank the Lord, the coffee machine is fixed. And I’ve got my special cup. Yes. Today is going to be a good day. I can feel it in my loins.

“Morning, Lou.” Speaking of loins...

“Hey, Bull. How’s it?” Yes, today is going to be a very good day. God. Look at him. Like, really look at him with his top buttons undone showing a scandalous amount of chest. “I like your shirt.” Yes. Good. Nice excuse to be staring at his chest.

“Thanks. Had it a while. You’re looking happy today.”

Oh my God. Don’t blush. Just smile. Yeah, that’s a good one. “Well, I got coffee. What more could I want?” You to lay your hands all over me. Just once. Or twice.

“Heh. I know, right? See you round.”

Okay. Got my coffee fix. Got my Bull fix. No mail duty for me. Straight into work. Clear out those emails. Ha! Cassandra’s done the reply all to the Friday night drinks email. Classic. And Blackwall’s gotten in on it too. These guys. Ah, shit. What’s this? System upgrade… Change to payment cut off… Fuck. Fuck and shit why did this have to happen. Now I have to have all my invoices processed by lunchtime! This is bull shit. I’m calling my union rep. Except I’m not in the union, am I? What one would I be in? Is there a union for generic office drones?

Just hunker down and do your work, Lou. It’s only one day. Got that raid to look forward to tonight, remember? The whole guild’s gonna be there. Aww yeah. Get in.

Work work work work work. Something something work work work. I don’t think she was singing about this kind of work…

Oh, and there’s Solas. Late as usual. With an even bigger cup of coffee this time. Maybe he keeps his ego in there.

Urg. This provider hasn’t totaled the hours. God. Do I have to do everything for them? Where’s my calculator? No, come on Lou, use your head. Give that brain a workout. Right. Three and a quarter, plus four and a half, plus three and three quarters… I don’t have any quarter length fingers… watch. I’ll draw a watch face… and… okay. Does that look right? That doesn’t look right. Gonna add it up again. Same answer. Still doesn’t look right. Fuck it. Gonna check with the calculator. Doop doop doop. And I was right! Would you look at that! Genius. I knew that arts degree would come in handy.

Woah, hey! Where did these forms come from? They just appeared! Out of nowhere! Where’s Leliana? She must have dropped them off without saying anything. Or maybe I was so engrossed with my work that I didn’t notice her. I should thank her next time I see her.

Right. God. Look at them all. What’s the time? Morning tea time yet? Please let it be ten--

Nine fifteen.

Why God! Whhhhy? How can this be?

“Are you okay there?”

Shit. Caught having an existential breakdown. Say something, Lou. Cullen’s staring at you like you’re having a stroke. Am I having a stroke? No. You’re being a fucking idiot. “Yeah, I’m good. No worries. Thanks.”

“Okay then. I was wondering about this invoice…” What’s this? Cullen asking for my advice? My opinion? Like I know what I’m talking about. Jesus. He’s kinda leaning into me. He smells pretty good. Freshly showered and with some musky masculine deodorant. My god. I’m not attracted to him, am I? He is kinda hot. God, don’t go there Lou. One office crush is enough. You don’t need two.

“Yeah, so I think that one is the client number, and that one is the customer number. I think they just got them around the wrong way. No need to send it back though.” That sounded helpful. And I think I even managed to say the right thing.

“You don’t think?”

“About sending it back? No. I mean, that client is only in the system as a client, so they’re clearly not a customer as well. There’s no confusion. Other than that they’ve put the numbers in around the wrong way.”

He’s tapping his chin and frowning. Why is he making such a big deal about this? Just use your initiative, Cullen! I know you’ve got it! That’s why you wear the same shirts on the same days every fucking week! You’re an individual!

“Hmm, I’m not sure. I think I’ll check with Vivienne.”

“But--”

“Thanks, Lou.”

What the fuck, Cullen? You come all the way over here to ask for my advice and you’re just going to ignore it anyway? Jesus Christ. What’s the point of me even being here. Fine.

God, I’m thirsty. Tea. I’ll go make a tea. But morning tea is soon. I can last.

No. No I can’t. Gonna make tea.

No one in the break room. Good. I can scratch my arse. And look out the window. Look at all that sunshine. Look at it all. And look where I am. Breathe, Lou. Give it another year and you’ll have enough saved up to leave and see all the sunshine you want.

Blerg. This milk smells off. Ew, it tastes off too. Gross. I’ll just put it back… No! Don’t do it! Break the cycle! Chuck it out!

Down the sink you go, glug glug glug.

“What are you doing? Stop!” What? Leliana? “I was keeping that.”

For what? Don’t ask. Just apologise. “Sorry. I didn’t know.” Easy does it. Put the lid back on. Put the rancid milk away because Leliana is keeping it. Christ on a cracker. Okay. Lesson learned. Do not use initiative.

I’m just gonna be nice and quiet and no one will bother me. Shit this tea is awful. Should’ve stuck with coffee.

Work work work work work.

Email. Ignore. No, better read it. Hmm. Nope, ignore.

Work work work--god damn that fucking song.

Aaand, it’s time for morning tea. Better not fuck about. Got to get this pay run done by lunchtime because someone is doing a system upgrade. Probably Dorian. Why can’t he do it after hours like a normal person. He probably has a social life. Definitely has a social life. Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself, Lou. You got friends! They just all live in other parts of the country. Or overseas. And you’ve never met them. Or know what they look like. No, I know what Alistair looks like. We’re Instagram friends! And he has a cute doggie. Bet the dog would be better at tanking than him. Anyway. Morning tea.

Got my boiled egg. Got my kiwifruit. One cancels out the effects of the other. Second coffee of the day. And would you look at that? Bull’s waving me over. Only Dorian is making a beeline too. Shit. We’re on a collision course. Outta my way Dorian, that man is mine. Take no prisoners, Lou. Trip the bastard if you have to.

Yes, he’s backed off. That empty spot is all mine. And what a graceful flop onto the couch. Managed a shoulder brush, too. Oh he smiled at me. Best. Day. Ever.

“What’s with the eggs?”

“Huh?” Way to go, Lou.

“The eggs. You have one every day.” Look at him, engaging with you in conversation. You could be the only two people in existence right now.

“They’re healthy, you know? Protein, so I can build my guns. Ha! Not guns like yours though. Yours are something else! Ha ha!” God, I cannot take myself anywhere. “And I just really like peeling boiled eggs.” Why did you say that? What the fuck compelled you to say that? Now he’s going to think you have an egg fetish!

“You ever try duck eggs? They’re pretty good, too.”

“Fuck, yeah! I love them! Hadn’t had them for a while thought. Haven’t seen them in the supermarket.” I’ve never had duck eggs in my life.

“Have you tried that boutique place in the mall? I’ve seen them there before. Quail eggs too. They’re tiny though. Now, ostrich eggs, those are real eggs!” God I love his laugh. He’s amazing. Look at us, talking about eggs. Hey, Bull, I got some eggs you can get your hands on if you know what I mean.

God I hate myself. “The mall you reckon? I’ll hit it up at at lunch time. Cheers.” Ask if he wants to come with you.

“Well, I got to get back to work.”

Damn. Now he’s leaving. Don’t leave. Holy shit this couch is like a waterbed. Don’t think about rolling around on a waterbed with him.  And don’t fall into his gravity well.

And he’s gone. Reality flows back in. Right. Everyone else. What are they talking about. Blackwall and his fucking chainsaw. Sera’s staring at Cass like she’s the sun. Or the moon. Something. I don’t know. Dorian. Dorian’s good for a chat. Ask him about that system upgrade. That’ll make it look like you’re engaging with the company and that you care.

Oh, Jesus Mary and Joseph, I didn’t expect to get an entire history lesson on computers. Am I nodding in the right place? What the fuck is an API? Do I have one? How would I know?

Right. All that makes perfect sense. “So…”

“So just make sure your Tuesday payment run is done by one p.m. or your schedule is likely to end up looking like a hoard of buffalo have rampaged through it.”

“Right. Yeah. I better get to it then!” Mutter, mutter, why do I bother.

Payment run. Here we come.

Work work work work--God dammit with that song.

Loading these invoices is going well though. Tuesday’s so much better than Mondays. No shit smeared forms to deal with. Just have to wrangle this spreadsheet so the data imports properly… and something’s out. By ten grand. Fuck. Okay. Don’t panic. You’ve done this before. Bigger numbers are easier to fix than smaller numbers. Ah, here you go. You put an extra zero on this line. Recalculate and… Still out. Fucking shit balls God damn.

Breathe, Lou. Don’t be like Cassandra. Keep those windows closed and that computer inside the building. I need a tea. And a pee. Not in that order. Can’t take my cup to the toilet though. That’s just weird. Fine. Tea room first. Go the long way round so I can spot Bull. Damn. Not there. Okay. Cup dropped off, tea bag in so it doesn’t look like I’m one of those so-called filthy bastards who just dumps their dirty dishes everywhere. And… toilet time. Ooh, could play some Angry Birds. No! No time! Just clearing the head so I can tackle this reconciliation. Round the corner to the loos and… Bull! Leaving the gents. What a pleasant surprise! I wonder if he washes his hands. Kinda don’t care if he doesn’t. Is that gross? It’s gr--

Dorian leaving the gents. And Bull giving his ass what looks to be a friendly and very familiar slap. Quick, hide! Back around the corner.

I knew it. I fucking knew it. That fucking little--wait. Were they leaving the toilets together? Did they… in a bathroom stall? Well fuck me. Except not. Yeah, I really hope he washed his hands. Okay, really need to pee now. Shake those shoulders out, go round the corner and--

Slam face first into Bull’s ample, and may I say, pillowy, chest. Jesus.

“Oh my god, Bull. I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you--”

“Hey, no damage done Lou. Your face okay though?”

“Mmm hmm.” I think my nose is broken. And I really need to pee. “Sorry. Would love to stay and chat but I really need to pee! Bye!”

God fucking dammit. Jesus Christ. Get in there. Sit down. Think about your life. No. Don’t do that. You’ll cry. Don’t cry at work, Lou, please. Just pee, for fuck’s sake. There, ah, yeah, that’s better.

Bull and Dorian. Is it serious? Are they together? Like, boyfriends… or friends with benefits? I hate them both. This shouldn’t surprise me though. Rumor mill says Bull’s had half the office. Not Sera though. Definitely not Sera. Probably not Cassandra either. And not me. Ha! Not me! No, not happy-go-lucky-completely-up-for-it-has-fantasies-involving-photocopiers Lou!

Urg. Just get that payment run done. Got pizza for lunch, remember? And a mission for duck eggs! Don’t forget that! But I’m supposed to be saving my money… But duck eggs. Recommended by Bull. He’s fucking Dorian. What do I care. My life is over.

And I forgot to make the tea. Fuck it. I’m at my desk now.

Email from Leliana. A long and terse email about keeping the kitchen tidy. Ha. And there’s an attachment. Shitting Jesus fuck balls. A photo. Of my cup. Sitting there. On the bench. With a big red arrow that looks like it was added in Paint pointing to the dishwasher. Oh my God. Everyone knows it’s mine because it has my fucking name on it. Oh my God I’m really going to cry now. I have never been more humiliated. I didn’t leave it there negligently! You must understand! I had to go to the toilet and didn’t want to take the cup so I stopped at the tea room first but then I walked in on a private moment between two employees and I was so shaken and upset that I just forgot! Please, don’t make an example of me!

Fuck and here come the reply-alls. Yeah yeah, Blackwall. Laugh it up. Not like you don’t have a whole compost heap of tea bags hidden in your beard.. Ah Jesus, even Cullen is getting in on it. Fuckity fuck trumpets. All of you. I hate you all. I’m going to hand in my resignation. Fuck the pay run. I’ll type it up right now.

Email from Bill. Bull. Is he going to make fun of me, too?

From: Bill Q To: Louise Trevelyan Subject: RE: Re: Re: Please Treat The Kitchen With Respect.

Hey Lou,

D*ck move by Leliana, right? She’s really got it in for you. Don’t know why. You sh*t in her cat milk or something? Don’t let her get to you. Chin up. I got your back.

Bull

 Well. That’s nice. No, really. Nice of Bull to send that. Better reply.

From: Louise Trevelyan To: Bill Q Subject: RE: Re: Re: Re: Please Treat The Kitchen With Respect.

Thanks. Yeah. I might’ve poured her rancid milk down the sink this morning. But I didn’t know! The bottle just looked like the regular milk we have and it was off, so I thought I’d use my initiative so we wouldn’t get some bullsh*t email about the fridge being gross. Go me. Won’t bother doing that again.

That’ll do. Hit send. I’m still angry at you though, Bull. Jealous. Envious. Whatever the difference is.

Where was I? Right. Reconciling this fucking pay run. And--

What the shit.

Are you shitting me.

No. Can’t be that simple. Shit. Fucking shit balls! It is that simple! How did I not notice that I was working in the wrong. Fucking. Spreadsheet. Oh my God. Lou. I am going to throttle you.

Get the right spreadsheet up. There. Look. Reconciled first time. Submit. Payment run done.

I can’t fucking believe it. I’m too fucking angry to be relieved. If I’d just paid attention instead of groaning forever then I would have noticed. And I wouldn’t’ve gone to make that cup of tea. And I wouldn’t have seen Bull and Dorian. And I wouldn’t’ve forgotten my tea. And Leliana wouldn’t’ve sent that email. And my life would be fantastic. But instead! You went and did this! To yourself!

Fuck it. I don’t care what time it is. Pay run is done. I’m getting lunch. Have to go into the tea room. The scene of the crime. Hold your head high, Lou. Own it. Wear it. Get your pizza then get the fuck out. Don’t look at that milk.

Right. Got it. Out of here.

And it’s raining. What happened to the sun. Fucking shit balls. Gonna make a dash for my car. Here we go. Keys, keys, gotta get my keys. Don’t drop--

Nice save.

And in. Ah. Good.

Eating pizza in the car at lunch time. Classic Lou. Gonna read. Let my kindle around here somewhere… there. Oh, sauce on the seat. Wipe that off. Cool. Gonna settle down.

Good. book. Good pizza. Makes up for all that shi--who the fuck is that?! Get away! Dorian? It’s just Dorian. Fuck’s sake. Why’s he bothering me and not fucking his boyfriend.

Should wind down the window I suppose. “Yeah?”

“Lou. Have you locked the doors? Let me in. It’s pissing down out here.”

Fine. How does he not look like a drowned rat?

Great. He’s giving me the judgemental-yet-concerned look. “I know Leliana’s email was a bit rude but there’s no need to eat your… that… in the car by yourself.”

“You’re here now.”

“Yes. Quite. Lou,” Oh great. He’s turned to face me. Is this going to be a serious conversation? Is he staging at intervention? “You know I care about you as a sister--”

“What kind of siblings do you have? We’ve never spent more than five minutes outside of work together.”

“I’m an only child.” Huh. Explains a lot.

“Me too.” Explains a lot.

Look at him grinning. Such a charmer. No. I’m angry with him. Remember that.

“Two peas in a pod, you and me.” Dorian. Yeah. A real charmer. “I feel I owe you an apology.”

What? “What for?”

Great. Now he looks rueful. “I feel partly responsible for that email. If you hadn’t seen Bull’s little indiscretion then you woudn’t’ve run off with your tail between your legs and forgotten your tea cup. I know how it is. Can’t take your cup into the toilets and all that.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” That was not convincing, Lou. He knows it, too.

“I know that you know that you saw us. Don’t pretend.”

“Are you two serious? Do you love each other?” Jesus, Lou. Please say yes. Rip the bandage off. It’ll hurt now but your heart will heal quicker.

“Christ, no.” Damn. But that means there’s still hope. “He just drags me off for a quickie every now and then to help keep the stress levels down. Lord knows I need it working there.”

What. “Are you for real?”

“Yes?”

“I hear he’s done half the office.” Yes, Lou, get the gossip out. But sit back. Don’t look so eager. And why’s your fucking seat belt on?

“Ha! I suppose he has. But wait... Oh. Oh I see how it is. Hmm. Yes.” Why’s he patting my leg in a pitiful way? “He hasn’t approached you, has he. No. How odd.”

“What do you mean?”

Dorian, there’s no need to look around to see if anyone’s eavesdropping. We’re in a car. Does add a frisson of mystery to the conversation though. “Bull’s… how do I put this. A giver. A problem solver. A… sexual therapist, in a way. He doesn’t respond to people asking him out, but when he sees someone in need and if he thinks he can help, then he’ll approach that person and…” And what? And what, Dorian? Don’t you dare leave me hanging. “He’s a kinky fucker, let me tell you. But I’ve told you too much already. I must be going.”

“Dorian!” He’s opened the door! “Dorian, get back in the car.” Shit, he’s closed the door. Wind down the window. “Dorian! This isn’t Fight Club! This is my vagina we’re talking about!” Shit. I did not just yell that into the street.

“See you back at the office, Lou!”

Fucking--

And I never went and got those fucking duck eggs. Too late. May as well just head back and… work work work--No. Stop. I am declaring this day officially over. No more thinking.

I quit.

John Romero about Doom: 25 Years of Rip & Tear

Fast. Brutal. Hardcore. Merciless. That is Doom.

Doom – ‘nuff said!« That‘s how a Post Mortem on one of the most influencial games of all times could actually look like. Doom wrote games history, Doom is pop culture, Doom is a name that stands for high-speed, hardcore and merciless shooter-action. Everybody knows it, almost everybody played it in at least one of its many different forms – be it the classics, extraordinary mods, Doom 3, fan-projects or id Software‘s Reboot from 2016, published by Bethesda.

On 10th December 2018, Doom celebrated its 25th anniversary. Seriously, is there any better reason to take the time and sit and chat with John Romero, one of id Software‘s founders and Doom‘s creators? We don‘t think so!

One does not simply create a game and thereby a completely new genre, which not only lasts until this day but has ever since evolved tremendously. Looking back at how it came to life, how does it feel being its creator? Hmm… I don’t really think of it this way, which is funny. Even though we made first-person shooters, we originally thought of it as making a better maze game. One that was faster and more fluid – that’s what it felt like at the very, very beginning. Action games or even RPGs before »Wolfenstein 3D« or even »Catacomb 3D«, which was a very fluid moving maze game with demons and stuff, were all built like these 90°-turn wall passages, where each tile only had enough room for one object like a person or enemy; take for example »Might & Magic«, »Ultima« or »Eye of the Beholder«. However, all that these games did was making better wall graphics, but they didn’t make it smoother and faster. And I think, that’s kind of what we did: we took out that block movement, which started with »Maze War« in 1974 – and even that already had deathmatch in it!

There was a game called »Wayout«. It took place in a similar maze, but there were some spaces in the game that were a little bit more open and in which you could fluidly move around. It wasn’t super-fast – it still was an Apple II, with 1 MHz – but fluid. You could turn around in 360° and I was super impressed when I saw that and so I knew that it was possible.

»Catacombs 3D« (upper picture) and »Hovertank One« were the predecessors of »Wolfenstein 3D« and »Doom«.

In 1991, »Hovertank One« was the first time we actually had 3D on screen and moved around in the same kind of mazes (laughs). After Catacomb 3D, we eventually got to Wolfenstein 3D, which was really fast – as fast as we could go in VGA. But Doom really changed it all and it did so, because the environment changed. We got out of these block mazes and went into places that were way cooler and that aspect was very important for the genre to start.

Whenever someone creates something outstanding, people on the outside – in this case gamers – develop high expectations for whatever comes next, and with it there often goes a certain amount of pressure: the pressure of fulfilling these expectations. How has creating Doom influenced your career and how did you deal with the pressure? Well. At id Software, the only pressure we had was our own. We wanted to make really good games. That was the whole point and it didn’t matter what anyone else thought or what other people said; for example, things like »It’s too satanic!« or whatever – we didn’t care at all. It was never going to stop us from doing what we wanted and we never let it pressure us. Nobody makes the best game every time they make a game! By the time Doom came out, I had been making games for 14 years, and during that time every game was getting better and better, but you can’t expect your next game to be the best that’s ever been made, that’s just not realistic. We knew that, because at that point each of us had been making games for at least 10 years. And if you make a lot of games, they’re not going to all be hits – that’s just simple facts. Yeah, we had pressure, but it was our own drive to make really cool stuff! Actually, Doom was the only game where we said at the very beginning that we need to make the best game that we could imagine playing – that was the only time we ever did that (chuckles). »Demons on the Prey«

A Week of Deathmatch with John Romero at GDC, 2013, San Francisco.

Going back even further: what actually sparked the idea for Doom, besides the urge to make a more fluid and advanced maze game, but also in regard to story, setting and everything there is? Did you get any inspiration from books or movies for example? (laughs) It was actually inspired from our D&D campaign. We played »Dungeons & Dragons« for a long time. John Carmack was our dungeon master and he had a world that he had been developing for years when we got together. It had tons of characters in it and it was super political – it was really great! And the D&D campaign ended when I, well… did something that destroyed the world. I opened up a portal to a plane where all the demons are, and they all just poured out over the course of months and destroyed everything in the whole world. Carmack obeyed his own rules and the world was over… and it was due to demons flooding in and ruining everything there was.

So, that was the end of our playing D&D for a while (laughs).

When we were thinking about making Doom, we thought about using this idea, the story about demons pouring in through some kind of portal, and the player actually has the ability to stop it. With that idea, we were thinking about a setting, and we wanted to do something ›sci-fi-futurish‹, because we had already done the ›World War‹ II thing, and we thought that with the new technology we can actually make it look pretty cool. So, with this futuristic setting in mind, Tom Hall came up with the idea of bringing it all to Phobos, where the UAC (Union Aerospace Corporation) was experimenting with teleportation. Doing that, they accidentally opened up portal to hell, but instead of aliens, it’s actually hell coming through (chuckles) and that was something new. No player expected to find hell in space, and that made the game surprising and very interesting. Adding in some of our favourite stuff sci-fi-wise, we thought about what sci-fi-action movies were big at that time and »Aliens« instantly came to mind. We wanted something like that, something terrifying. Also, the dark humour – that’s just part of who we are, and back then »Evil Dead 2« was one of our favourite movies of all time, so we wanted to have this sensibility, and of course the chainsaw and the shotgun (grins)!

In hindsight, is there something you were never 100% happy with? Well, yeah… I wish that I had made a lot more levels… You know, I just made the first episode and not even the boss level, Sandy Petersen had made that because we were just down to the wire. It was a really busy year. We started the game with Tom, until he left us in August. In September, Sandy came on board and first plowed through all of Tom’s stuff and started retexturing and fixing things, and just trying to get a lot of levels done. That was what Sandy was doing, while my work in the beginning was creating the level editor – can’t make any levels without an editor, right? I had to program the tool, and it was really hard coming up with levels that didn’t look like Wolfenstein or rather everything we’ve ever seen in our whole life. So, creating the abstract level design style and developing all that took some time to bring it as far away from Wolfenstein as we could. Then I had to do all the level programming: everything that happens in a Doom level – meaning stairs, doors, lights flickering, you name it – I wrote all of that code, plus the ›save & load‹ code, as well as the tools outside of Doom like the install program, setup, and DM. All of that took me a lot of time and I just wish I would’ve had more time to make more levels.

That’s the only regret I have. Other than that, I still think it turned out great – but it could’ve even been better!

»Aliens« and the character of Ash Williams from »The Evil Dead« inspired certain elements of Doom, be it the atmosphere within the game or… well, the chainsaw and shotgun. Groovy! Copyright: 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

If you had the chance to make Doom with today’s tech, how would it look? Or rather: were there any features you weren’t able to realize due to technical limitations? Hmm, if I had the same tech as back then, pretty much the same, only with me making more levels. With today’s tech? Completely different, obviously (laughs). Regarding features: no… (pauses). No, we actually put everything in that we wanted to have in the game – at that time! After a game comes out and you see what people do with it, then of course you get all kinds of ideas of what would be really cool to have. But those things didn’t exist while we were making the game. There simply wasn’t any game like it, so there’s really no way to say »Oh yeah, we messed up« or »We didn’t do a lot of things, because we didn’t have enough time«, simply because those ideas didn’t exist as the game wasn’t out, yet. Everything in the whole world was pre-Doom.

In Germany, Doom I & II were indexed, but re-rated after roughly 19 years. In October 2012, Bethesda released the »Doom 3: BFG Edition«, which included the (not indexed) »Doom3« as well as both the originals. And the amazing thing after having played both games again after almost two decades: they still hold up to this very day and that is quite impressive. Yeah, right? It’s like with »Super Mario« or »Donkey Kong«. It still feels excellent. It’s just that no one really knows how to nail a classic. You have to have a lot of experience making stuff before that’s going to happen. Nowadays, source ports of Doom feel smoother than it did at the very beginning. Now it’s super smooth and really, really fast!

Looking at so many other games that exist, no matter the genre, a lot of them aged really badly. What are, in your opinion, the key elements for Doom not being one of them? Number 1: I think that one of the most important things when you start programming a game, is that it’s tied to a timer, you need to have timer chip control. That means that you’ll never go too fast on any future computer. When we wrote our games, even before id Software, John and I were individually writing games with timer chip control. So as soon as our game starts we immediately set the timer chip for the refresh rate we want the game to go at, and to make sure it doesn’t go faster than that. If it went slower than that, then we would have code that would fix the speed of the character to match where they should be, for example if your CPU was a little too slow. So you actually have to have code to handle moving too slow on a slow computer, but also ensures that moving is never too fast on future computers as well. That’s unbelievably important.

When you go and look back at any games from that time period, they just zoom all over the screen, as they’re just too fast, because CPUs are insane now. The ones that are still super playable are the ones that have real hardware control. None of the Origin games had timer control because they were maxing-out the fastest computers when they released (laughs).

Is it safe to say, that first-person shooters are your favourite genre? I think so, yeah. I mean, it’s super immersive, it looks amazing, there’s lots of great puzzle-solving in that space. I love »Half Life 2«’s physics puzzles – being in a space like that is just so much more immersive than any 2D puzzle game. But that’s a totally different kind of thinking. Before making shooters, I did a ton of different games. For me, Wolfenstein was game number 87! Before that, I had already made 86 games – and that’s only the ones that were being published. So, yeah, I had some practice before Doom (laughs). Up to today I‘ve now made a total of around 150 games.

As an example: Less than a year ago, I did a 10-hour gamejam. The title turned out to be a really cool little game called »July 4th 1976«. I worked on it with a coder friend of mine, and it was super creepy and different. I put it in the App Store, and boom – a new game (laughs). There’s another gamejam next weekend I want to attend. Maybe I can put out another game.

Actually, the last time I’ve been to a gamejam, my son joined me. He flew over from the US to Ireland for father’s day. So, we did a gamejam in the city with a whole bunch of other people and we made something really cool, but the idea was way too big for the time we had. I want to finish it though, because the idea was really cool. You see, I’m always making stuff. I’m currently working on three different games at once.

In 2016, id Software released its Reboot of Doom – fast-paced, hardcore, brutal, real. Its successor »Doom Eternal« is set for 2019.

Are there any other genres or genre-typical mechanics you would like to mix with an FPS? Well, when creating an FPS, I don’t really think about genre-merging, because to me that would feel kind of artificial. When I want to make a new shooter, I rather think about what I want to do in this gameplay style that hasn’t been done and what I haven’t seen before. Take the original »Prey« for example, where you could walk on walls, which totally changed the whole game. They didn’t mash up any genres, they simply put in a very cool feature.

Actually, I do have some cool ideas, but I can’t really talk about them, because… well, you know…(laughs)! But seriously though, there’s still so much that hasn’t been done in FPSs, yet. And it’s amazing how the genre evolved. Just take the first-person perspective. The fact alone that with »Quake« we have created a fluid high-speed first-person perspective, all in 3D. Even games like »World of Warcraft« had to come from that. In fact, the lead programmer of WoW worked on Quake. So when you talk about influences, Doom sure was the beginning, but Quake’s impact was also big. The Production Director for »Overwatch« is the same guy who coded the 3D engine for »Star Wars: Dark Forces« back in 1995. And it’s funny how eventually it all goes back down to Doom, when it comes to a full 3D world.

We actually helped Valve when they started working on »Half-Life«. They came over to our office, and we set them up with a Quake Engine license, and I talked to them about what kind of team they’d need to make an FPS, then they started their company. But it’s not only FPSs – Markus Persson who created »Minecraft« once told me that Doom was the reason he became a programmer. So, you could say that without Doom, there wouldn���t be a Minecraft today (laughs).

From all the first-person shooters that came out in recent years, which is your favourite? Ummm… (long pause). You know, I really like the new »Doom«! It’s got the attitude, it’s got the speed. And for today, it was about making things move fast, but you just can’t have 50 super-fast demons on you, you just couldn’t live. It’s got just the right amount. In the original Doom, we often had a lot of enemies on the screen, but they would move slower. But yeah, it just feels like a really good hardcore shooter and it inherits the essence of how hardcore shooters should be and how we wanted to make them.

… the starting scene where the Doom Marine just takes the screen on which he’s told what’s going on and he just throws it away. All in all though, it feels like they treated the material with the right attitude and necessary respect. (Starts cheering) Yeah! It‘s like »I don’t care. There is no story. Rip & Tear!« And you’re right, they really got what Doom was and made it right. This is absolutely what we would have done if we had the tech. They went into the same direction we would have gone anyway. They worked on it for seven years – that’s such a long time, but they took the time and they made it right. It’s hardcore, it’s really great!

What’s your opinion on »Doom Eternal«? Unbelievable! It was such a great idea just going for that grappling hook – just do it! (laughs) But seriously, everybody is excited about it, because with the Doom they already made they proved that they know what Doom is and how to make something awesome. And what they did with the next one, was basically what we did with »Doom 2: Hell on Earth«. We didn’t mess up anything, but we took what everyone liked and made it better, and that’s exactly what they did with Eternal: they took what everybody liked and made it better, and they did not mess up anything that was already in the game. That’s how you make a sequel!

And you know what? I’m actually more excited for what comes after Doom Eternal (laughs), I mean, I really want to know where Doom goes, because we’ve seen nothing after Doom 2. This is the fifth Doom, and I’m waiting for the next Doom 3 – the real one, not the remake! Looking back at »Half-Life 2«, it was a great game. It was more expansive in scope and more scientific, such a great adventure to go on with all the changing environments and everything. But Doom… Doom is visceral, that’s the major difference.

From left to right: John Carmack, Kevin Cloud, Adrian Carmack, John Romero, Tom Hall, Jay Wilbur.

What did you think about all the easter eggs? Like the little Doom Marine figurine you fist-bump when you find it, the Icon of Sin or Commander Keen’s helmet and skull on a stick? (Laughs) The figurine was so great, and it wasn’t that hard to find. At some point you just turn and backtrack, and then you find him sitting there and I was like »Ah, so little collectibles are a thing now.« And it’s actually funny that they put the word ›Doom‹ on Keen’s helmet, because the only validation for that can be found in Doom 2. There’s a secret level at the very end, where Commander Keen is hanging, and you can shoot him, that’s about it.

Speaking of secret levels: »To win the game you must get 100% on level 15 by John Romero.« – A guy called Zero Master obviously managed to be the first to get 100% of all secrets in said level. Really? After more than 20 years? And what’s the story behind that? Yup, that’s real, nobody had done that before (laughs). Basically it was a special sector that I made while making this level. I put a secret teleporter behind a wall and that teleporter would take you somewhere. But instead of the destination where the teleporter took you being marked as a secret, I marked the teleporter itself as a secret. Normally, when you go into a teleporter, you never actually touch the sector inside the teleporter – you hit the line and you’re teleported. There’s also some weird movement stuff going in that little space. To mark a secret, you also need to be at the same vertical height as the sector, and this sector is above where the player is at. In this case, the players touch the line before they reach the same height as the sector and so they’re gone.

This player who discovered it actually used a Pain Elemental to push them into the teleporter to mark that secret. No one’s ever done that (laughs) and you could tell that guy did it on purpose because he pushed the Pain Elemental all the way down this really long hallway to get there. Sometimes it’s really fascinating what players actually come up with, they do all kinds of crazy stuff (laughs)!

If you could choose one game, you would’ve always loved or still would love to be a part of – your own games excluded –, which one would it be and why? Minecraft! It’s just the best game ever made, and unlike any other game. It’s absolutely incredible! World of Warcraft would be another choice; WoW is derived from »Everquest«, which again is derived from »Ultima Online« – there’s already a lineage there. But it gets to be grindy and repetitive, while Minecraft is just unlimited creativity – simply an amazing game, and its effects on the game industry are yet to be felt even more. Take »Fortnite« or, rather, its building aspect, which is obviously influenced by Minecraft.

In which regards do you think – positive as well as negative – has the games industry changed the most over the last 25 years? Huh… there’s been so many things. The rise of Facebook and Facebook gaming was very interesting and completely unforeseen, just like Minecraft. These huge things, they just appear. »POOF« and there they are, changing the internet.

If you’re a kid who loves Minecraft, however, have fun trying to download mods for it, because everybody’s mod pages and download sites are garbage! It’s horrible, they’re just trying to lure kids into installing all kinds of other stuff. Which download button do you click? If there’s ten buttons, nine of them are installing malware and one actually takes you to the mod you want – that’s insane! Especially as the appetite from kids is there.

And just look at Facebook games. Millions of people make and play these games. I made a Facebook game myself, and I had 25 million people playing it every month. That’s absolutely crazy! It was really interesting to see these things rise up and have this kind of exposure. And it influences everybody else. A lot of people are creatively influenced, others are influenced monetarily, and they just want to make money off that idea, so there’s a ton of ›gold-rushing‹ towards those things.

After 24 (!!) years, player Zero Master finally managed to discover the last and final unrevealed secret. Check the video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=irNoHfnLXRM

Is that rather positive or negative now? Oh no, I think it’s great. The kind of gameplay that evolved on Facebook using your friend network was unlike anything anyone had ever seen in a game before. Nobody had a network like that to connect to, and it was really interesting to see how designers would exploit or use the network that they have or even extend the network to people they don’t know, because these are people that also play the same game. That way they even meet new people through the game. It was really interesting to see this development and it showed how a platform like Facebook could really influence game design in a big way.

… and something really negative? On the whole there’s been a ton of positivity. But… well, #Gamergate, that should never have happened. And lootboxes (laughs). Lootboxes are still in flux. But it depends: if it’s only about stuff for peacocking, it’s one thing. If it’s ‘pay to win’, then it’s so not cool!

What’s your advice for young developers who try to get into the industry today and hopefully survive there? Find something that you’d like to do and mod a game using that skill. Mod multiple games, get experience in doing that and if you like it a lot, then create a portfolio page and get in touch with the companies you’d like to work for. And if you want to make games – well, start making them, however you can. The internet is packed-full with all the information you could possibly ever want. There’s no excuse for not making stuff!

Over the years you’ve probably been asked the same questions over and over again, and once more today. Now is your chance: if you could pick one question you’d like to answer that no one’s asked you before, which would it be? (Laughs) Hahaha, oh geez! Well… (pauses), what was it like making games on the Apple II?

And now you’ve got to answer it. It was tremendous amounts of fun. The Apple II was a finite computer that has nothing to do with today’s computers, which are endless, and you never stop learning. This computer was finite and limited in what it could do and what it had in it. But even with those limits, there was still an unbelievable amount to learn in order to master it and going from BASIC to assembly language and then all the techniques that you could use in assembly that are very different than 8-bit computers of that time period that had hardware systems for sprites and stuff like that – the Apple II had none. A lot of programming techniques had to be developed to put stuff on the screen manually. The interesting ‘problem’ that programming in assembly language brings is that there’s a lot you have to have in your head to write a game in it. And when one person is doing that, it’s hard to really focus on a big and cool new game design, because you already have incredible amounts of stuff in your head in order to just make even a simple game.

Making big games didn’t really happen back then. And if there were any, like the Ultima games, and “Wizardry”, it was because that programmer was just better than most people. They had more practice before making their cool big game, so they could focus more on the design than on the implementation of it. They had already spent years getting good at coding, so they could now focus more on design. And in the early days it was hard to find the time because the industry had just begun in 1977, so it was a race. But it was an amazing time and fun sharing information with other people, and back then everyone was discovering stuff for the first time. There were hardly any books, so it was even cooler when you could actually get a piece of information from somebody, or find a cool trick somewhere in a magazine. It was simply the most fun time ever, because it was also during the arcade explosion and all of the creativity that was coming out in the arcades, all the games that no one had ever seen before, coupled with the fact that you have that going into your head and you could make that stuff happen on a computer. There’s no end to what you can do, there’s no end to what you want to do.

Looking back at your time at id Software: in hindsight and despite how it all went down between you and John Carmack, is there – still today – a specific moment you wouldn’t want to miss for the world? Basically, everything up until halfway through 1995.

John Romero is a legend! Besides that he was the Co-Founder of id Software and creator of classics like »Commander Keen«, »Wolfenstein 3D«, »Doom I & 2« and »Quake«.

The post John Romero about Doom: 25 Years of Rip & Tear appeared first on Making Games.

John Romero about Doom: 25 Years of Rip & Tear published first on https://leolarsonblog.tumblr.com/

Aug 16 Blurr’s Horror Stream - The Mummy

Drift met his alternate, the ~triplechanger.~ He’s impressed.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. B l u r r: / oh yeah he's here. My bad. Forgot to put it in / Wing: *he brought snack today. for once* Drift: *is also here! for the first time in like three weeks* B l u r r: / he's probably half laying on the couch, tbh. / B l u r r: / yay snacks / B l u r r: / wiggles claws at wing and drift from couch / Star: /shows up/ B l u r r: / hisses at / Wing: Hello. *he'll set those snacks down and find a place conveniently nearish to Star* B l u r r: Hey, Wing. B l u r r: [[ well when people are ready, lemme know. ]] B l u r r: [[ small crew tonight ]] Star: Greetings to you as well Blurr. /Waves to Wing before taking his seat/ Hello, Wing. B l u r r: ... Ew. Wing: ((i sorely need coffee but ready whenever)) B l u r r: [[ get coffees? ]] B l u r r: Don't say hello to me like we're friends, /Starscream / Wing: ((but that would require me to leave my tent)) B l u r r: [[ oh no ]] Drift: *flops down on top of blurr* Drift: ((ready)) Wing: Hello, Starscream. B l u r r: / oof! / B l u r r: Excuse you. /nudges Drift lightly / Star: /simply rolls his optics at Blurr as he waits for him to start the movie/ Drift: *nudges back* Ratchet: ((Ratchet here! :O )) B l u r r: [[ hola ! ]] B l u r r: /smirks a little / Are you comfy? B l u r r: [[ let itunes get its life together. Time out. ]] B l u r r: [okay it's together ]] Ratchet: /just gonna walk in with a snicksnack/ Oh, Earth movies? B l u r r: Ratchet!! My mech! Wing: *leans back against a wall. wall gargoyle* B l u r r: How is she supposed to live again if you take out all her organs, you moron? Don't humans need those? B l u r r: / just gonna lounge here with Drift crushing him / Drift: Nah. There's something lumpy under me. *pokes at blurr* B l u r r: ? B l u r r: / wiggles a little / Oh, really? Is it... sharp Ratchet: Hm, I suppose if you get replacement organs, you could resurrect a human... Maybe Drift: Really sharp. Like a hundred knives. And maybe a chainsaw. B l u r r: / smirks and pokes Drift / Maybe you should move it B l u r r: / looks upside down at Ratchet / That's how you make us, though. B l u r r: Just recycle things. Drift: Yeah? *pokes back* Maybe I should push it on the floor. B l u r r: Now, that would be rude. Ratchet: Well I don't know much about humans. /shrugs and sits down/ Star: /is too into the movie to even pay attention to anyone/ Star: /doesn't normally get to watch these/ B l u r r: There's not much to know about humans, unfortunately. Ratchet: What I do know is they squish easily B l u r r: That they do . /shifts and wiggles. Trying toget comfy with Drift / Wing: *soft sigh and a shift* Wing: ((i have coffee)) B l u r r: Oh pits, look at all the books. Wing: *wince* Oh. B l u r r: Huh... B l u r r: I wonder if there are places like that around the verses... Imaginehow much we'd benefit. Wing: *that sounds familiar* Ratchet: Ah, I didn't know humans could be this... Barbaric. B l u r r: It's entertaining, isn't it? B l u r r: / wiggles under drift and stretches out / Star: /chuckls at the bad negotiations/ Ratchet: /glances over to Blurr and Drift/ You two seem quite comfortable. B l u r r: Well, you see, Drift sat on me first. B l u r r: Quite rude, you see. Drift: You were taking up most of the couch. *wiggles to get more comfortable* B l u r r: This is true, but you surprised me. B l u r r: [[ the bEST SCENE ]] Star: (lmao) Ratchet: That's an odd trick of the light. There's something like that on Cybertron too Star: (I like him telling everyone to charge with his open umbrella) B l u r r: ... Is there? Ratchet: Out in the Rust Sea yes. B l u r r: ... Oh? Star: Oh dear... /those poor diggers/ B l u r r: Hnh... I wonder if Rodimus has that place under security. Ratchet: Most likely, there's lots of resources out there amid the toxic air B l u r r: I could handle toxic air for a while. B l u r r: I've done it before. Ratchet: Oh that's... Unfortunate Ratchet: that insect was very interesting... Ratchet: Ah, I wouldn't recommend doing that Blurr. B l u r r: Oh, why not? B l u r r: /leans over Drift a little / Maybe you should invent a bug like that. Ratchet: The rust in your processor. The air could make that much worse B l u r r: / shrugs loudly / What's a little more rust for the rust? Wing: When you fall apart one day, Blurr... Ratchet: I suggest if you want to know what's in the Rust Sea, you should send someone else. Star: /looks over at Blurr then back to the movie/ B l u r r: The Rust Sea is vast. It has a lot in it. B l u r r: I'm the Captain of my ship. I should lead. B l u r r: / waves claws/ I won't fall apart ! Wing: You're rusting to pieces and won't do anything about it. You will. Give it time. Drift: The captain of the ship knows he's no good to his crew if he doesn't take care of himself. B l u r r: I'm not rusting to pieces. B l u r r: / flicks Drift's helm / Drift: You're not NOW. B l u r r: And I  do take some care of myself. Drift: *flicks the hand that flicked him.* You need to take more. Wing: *just shakes his head* You have rust in you still. As I said, give it time. B l u r r: Mm... I have been working on it. Drift: The fact that you're not "rusting to pieces" now doesn't mean you WON'T be if you don't take care of yourself. A lot of care. B l u r r: / motions claw at Ratchet / That's what Ratchet is for. B l u r r: My trusted medic. Drift: No. Part of the responsibility is yours. Drift: You can't do things that will knock down a building and then say it was the architect's responsibility to keep it up. B l u r r: I suppose... Drift: Not taking care of yourself is like blowing up the foundations in the basement. B l u r r: All right, all right... geez. drift changed their nickname to tyDrift. B l u r r: I'll take care of myself... as best I can anyway. Wing: Mmhm. *crosses arms over his chest. he's heard that before and he'll believe it when he sees it* B l u r r: Look how cute they are!! tyDrift: [ shows up late and doesn't even have starbucks ] B l u r r: / waves at Drift/ tyDrift: [ waves and finds a seat ] B l u r r: / come sit near here / Drift: *looks at the new guy. who's thi— SITS BOLT UPRIGHT* Hey!! B l u r r: Drift, this is my best friend, Drift. B l u r r: Drift, that's Drift. Wing: *two Drifts? huh* Star: /is so into this movie you won't believe/ Drift: Yeah! Hi! Alternate! Nice to meet you. Ratchet: well, this is slightly confusing. tyDrift: Ah tyDrift: Hi Drift: You're the, uh—triplechanger, right? Helicopter? tyDrift: Yes tyDrift: You're not? B l u r r: [[ i love how he has all of them ]] Wing: ((yeee)) Star: (same) Drift: Nope. Just a car. tyDrift: [sits by blurr] tyDrift: That's... so inconvenient tyDrift: Where do you keep your swords? Drift: Hip sheaths. Check it out. *stands* Not as, uh, elegant as recycling them for rotors. That's what you do, right? S'what Springer does. tyDrift: Yes... though, I'm not familiar with the name Springer Drift: Oh! Wrecker. Big green guy. Chest the size of five regular chests. tyDrift: [excuse him he's just.... trying to takes all of this in] B l u r r: Mine's better. Drift: *take your time* B l u r r: Eh, he sounds overrated/ tyDrift: He sounds interesting. Drift: He's an all right guy. Didn't know him really long. tyDrift: Is he the loud, boisterous type? B l u r r: That's Crosshairs. Drift: Not as much as some Wreckers. Buuut kinda. tyDrift: Mm, I was going to say Hound tyDrift: But Crosshairs is just as well B l u r r: Crosshairs is obnoxious. B l u r r: [[ why would u sleep when u r wanted by a mummy demon ] Star: (gonna need some super strength mouth wash) tyDrift: Crosshairs tries B l u r r: I prefer the real Wreckers. Ratchet: ((I'm gonna head off to bed, our AC is busted and the heat is making me sleepy!)) Wing: ((niiiight)) B l u r r: [[ ni ni! ]] tyDrift: (gnight ♥) Star: (Night!) Drift: ((gnight)) tyDrift: [would argue about what constitutes a 'real' wrecker, but he's too tired] tyDrift: [just pats Blurr's arm] B l u r r: / reaches over to pat his helm / tyDrift: < < B l u r r: / B) / Drift: ((punch him)) Drift: ((don't just yell at the mummy, punch him)) tyDrift: ... I guess that works Drift: ((... okay but what if she kissed him and the giant dust face started making a kissy face)) B l u r r: [[ perfect ]] tyDrift: (oh god) Star: (lmao) B l u r r: / reeeaches over for on of the snacks wing brought / B l u r r: one* Drift: *... reeeaches too* tyDrift: [leeeans out of the way] B l u r r: / snags one and shoves it in his mouth / Star: (the two of them in the background though lol) Star: /gets up to go answer a comm/ tyDrift: [frowns] They're walking corpses, how strong could they be... Drift: They DO have the supernatural on their side. Their strength is probably greater than their mere flesh. B l u r r: ... I wonder if you really can do that.. tyDrift: Supernatural strength, and yet they crumble like dust Wing: What were the empties, then? B l u r r: Oh Empties aren't like this... B l u r r: They're nowhere near as organized. Drift: High attack, low defense? Wing: Not as organized, but aren't they dead? *he may not be remembering that right* B l u r r: Empties? No... they were never really alive to begin with. B l u r r: The Zombie combatants were dead B l u r r: Those are, uh... /fun/ . Wing: Oh. Drift: ... If it's that simple, why do they need the book? B l u r r: Humans make things overly complex. Drift: There's a giant army of humans who were devoted to making sure this guy wasn't resurrected, right? Drift: Why didn't they just teach them all that spell? tyDrift: I suppose they didn't know the phrase needed B l u r r: This idiot. Drift: It was in a book. The very first generation of people in the army could've learned it from the book and then passed it down the generations. tyDrift: Hindsight is the greatest power... tyDrift: I guess they didn't think they would ever get this far Drift: I mean—that shouldn't have been hard for them to figure out ahead of time. B l u r r: Especially if she's the expert. Drift: ... At least his death will be fast? B l u r r: And satisfying tyDrift: They needed that mechanism to open the book didn't they? Did they have it before? Drift: This army has been around three thousand years. It was probably established back when this guy was first buried. Drift: They could've taught everybody the secret spell BEFORE they buried the books. Drift: (("oh, please." me 2 buddy.)) B l u r r: p[[ same ]] tyDrift: It was sweet Wing: *wing stretch* Different. tyDrift: (hush you two drift loves sappy endings lol) B l u r r: Oh of course /you/ liked it tyDrift: Is it so bad if I did? tyDrift: I wish I could have made it sooner.. Drift: ((so does my drift. but drift's mun, she Judges.)) B l u r r: Well, I might show the others. B l u r r: I find it interesting. tyDrift: (it could have been worse lol they at least seemed like they had some chemistry) Drift: There's more? tyDrift: There are more? B l u r r: There are three. Drift: Hey. That means the monster survived. Wing: *he had his mouth open to ask the same but...* B l u r r: / grins/ He did! B l u r r: ... Yeah! Star: (came back and the movies over pft) B l u r r: [ aww my poor friendo D: ] tyDrift: (wow that was a long call, sorry you missed it :c ) Star: (Tis fine. I've seen the movie a hundred times anyway ^-^) Wing: ((it's a good movie)) tyDrift: [he may or may not be looking up the other movies right now] Star: /sorta just peeks through the doorway/ Oh the movies over....oops. B l u r r: / stretches out all over Drift / B l u r r: / er. Bestie / Drift: *how the turntables* B l u r r: / yes good / Wing: *nods* Yes. The creature was killed. The girl was saved. The end. *light shrug* B l u r r: You know... I've been bored lately. B l u r r: Maybe raising the dead can be a new hobby. K-Kyeheheh. Star: Well that summed it up /he huffed/ tyDrift: [sighs] Blurr... B l u r r: Mm? Wing: It's how most movies end. B l u r r: That's true, Wing. tyDrift: I think you need a hobby that isn't raising the dead B l u r r: I have one. /relaxes/ Star: Well I don't normally watch human movies so .... Star: /besides the first one he watched here everyone died at the end/ B l u r r: What, you and Megatron don't have date nights ? Star: /deadpans/ No we do not. B l u r r: [[ tag urself. I'm John Jay, sick after 5 essays ]] B l u r r: Oh, what a pity. I'm sure dates with him are just sooo entertaining. Wing: *he did say most* Human movies, then. B l u r r: What does Megatron even /do/ ? Does he do math problems when he's not parading around like a saint? Star: I don't date Megatron and no he's nothing like that. /folds his arms over his chassis/ B l u r r: You're not dating? /mocking gasp / Oh for pit sake, Starscream, did you burn the anniversary cake? B l u r r: / sneer/ With how much you stick by his side, I'd think you two were an item. Wing: *rubs his forehead. Primus help him* B l u r r: I find it odd that humans write so many odd endings. Drift: *paps blurr* C'mon, implying Megatron and Starscream are a thing is just gross. I'm gonna be sick. Star: /glares at Blurr/ And here I thought you could attempt to be civil for once. B l u r r: / glances at Drift / Mm... true. B l u r r: / snarls at Star / I AM being civil. Have I attacked you yet? Wing: Starscream, would you like to go for a flight? Star: /lets out a slow vent/ All because you haven't attacked me doesn't mean...you know what never mind. tyDrift: [shifts awkwardly] B l u r r: /scoffs/ You threaten me and then expect me to be civil. B l u r r: Tell Megatron if he wants me so bad, to come get me himself. B l u r r: I'm ready for him. Star: ...Give Grimlocl my regards /he stood up/ Thank you for the movie, and yes Wing I would. Star: /and he was gone/ Star: Grimlock* B l u r r: / rolls optic and settles back on his couch / B l u r r: [[ Grimclock ]] B l u r r: [[ the spoopy clock ]] Star: [xD] Wing: *shoots Blurr a look* Thanks for the movie. *and he'll follow Star out* B l u r r: / settles back in his spot/ B l u r r: There's apparently a line of mechs on the way to kill me. tyDrift: ... Shouldn't you be preparing then? B l u r r: Preparing for what? They'll kill each other before they get to me. B l u r r: See, Grimlock is selfish. He wants to finish... what he started. And Megatron is just a hypocrite. tyDrift: You're not concerned they may team up? B l u r r: / shrugs/ Wouldn't be the first time. B l u r r: I'm just saying... /scraping digits together / If they're gonna kill me, they better make sure I'm dead. tyDrift: ... Are you going to need help? B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. Ahh, I think I can die just fine on my own. B l u r r: / wait. / Oh, you mean to fight? Well. /pats bestie/ I don't know. B l u r r: Drift here is an ally of my crew. Plus, there's the Tyran Wreckers and JT's crew. tyDrift: [frowns] Of course I mean to fight, it wouldn't be right to leave if you need me B l u r r: Oh for pit sake, I'm not useless. You mechs know I survived a war, right? /sort of / tyDrift: Concern isn't belittling tyDrift: Or at least it shouldn't be B l u r r: I'll be fine. B l u r r: I'm always fine. tyDrift: ... If you're certain tyDrift: [stands] I should be returning then, thank you for inviting me again B l u r r: I'm fine. B l u r r: / lifts claw and waves / See you later, Drift. B l u r r: Maybe you two can have a Drift party. tyDrift: [frowns because doubts] tyDrift: Maybe, if you can manage to find a third Drift: *waves* Only need two for a party. B l u r r: Nah, you two are fine. Drift: Honestly, I'd rather see you in battle sometime. B l u r r: / leans over to bestie / He has anger issues Drift: So did I. They can be tamed. tyDrift: The fighting on Earth has subsided for now, fortunately. I wouldn't be opposed to sparring with you though. It would be interesting. tyDrift: [side-eyes blurr] B l u r r: / smirks at him / tyDrift: It's contained, I assure you B l u r r: / B) / B l u r r: Oh, I'm sure it is. Drift: Uh—don't spar. I was thinking fighting /alongside./ tyDrift: [ignores blurr] Is the fighting still frequent for you then? B l u r r: / pat tyDrift on the helm / tyDrift: [IGNORE] The Decepticons have been neutralized for the most part on my planet. We only deal with stragglers mainly. B l u r r: Are you guys going to become Amica Endurae? All buddy buddy. B l u r r: / SEE. HE KNOWS THE WORD / tyDrift: > > tyDrift: [stops ignoring for just a second] I am not familiar with the term B l u r r: It means, uh... /scratches audio finial. Looks off into space for a second. Mumbling / B l u r r: Right right. You're right. /back to drifty mcfly/ It means like really close friends. B l u r r: / he was close / tyDrift: Ah tyDrift: Maybe Drift: Basically. Best friends forever, but in a legally binding way. Drift: ... And spiritually binding, I feel like. B l u r r: Oh oh yeah. B l u r r: If you need a doctor, apparently the Amica can ... permit that. B l u r r: / he tried / Drift: ... If one of a pair of amicae endurae is injured, the his amica has authority to make medical decisions on his behalf. Drift: Unless he has a conjunx. Conjunx outranks amica. B l u r r: ... That's what I meant. Drift: I thought so. *pats* B l u r r: / chews on another snack / tyDrift: Ah, I see. That's an interesting concept. B l u r r: It's something in his universe /motions to bestie / tyDrift: Seems very... formal though. tyDrift: There aren't enough of us left to be concerned with legalities. Those who are left just be. B l u r r: [[ me : constantly cries at this part because im garbage ]] B l u r r: [[ also me: knows all the words and sings them ]] tyDrift: (very nice ♥) tyDrift: ... I am required to return to my post though, and it's approaching that time. B l u r r: Really? Huh... Drift: And I should get back to the Lost Light, too. B l u r r: ... I suppose we should head back out, too. Drift: Just for a couple of hours. Then I'll probably be back here. To sit on you some more. B l u r r: .. /rolls optic / I'm sure. B l u r r: We're gonna start moving locations, so. Try to keep up with the fleet. Drift: I'll just bridge on your ship. I haven't bought my private one yet. B l u r r: Ah, right Drift: Still haven't got enough of a crew to justify it. I'm trying to convince Whirl to come, but... B l u r r: Ah, well. B l u r r: You know, I've got an agenda of my own as is. Maybe it's better if you lot don't tag along for a while. Drift: I like getting involved in your agendas. B l u r r: Yes, I know. B l u r r: I'll see you later, then, Drift.

Ep. 7: Like Juggling Chainsaws ~Kevin

Okay so. that worked out well. I think that was pretty much the best way it could go, like obviously there's no perfect outcome or anything. So. I'm now in my third alliance that has Jay in it, and fourth alliance overall. Ashley's also in an f3 with JD and LA but anyone in that position would know they're the third wheel so thankfully she's like no. This is still good because she's gonna tell us all the tea they give her which Jay and I can compare to find out the truth. It's kinda amazing how the stars have aligned so that we're in the middle of everything. It's a stressful position but it feels great. We hold the power and we get all the info so we can make the best and most informed decision. I think it's best to come clean about our alliance with JD and LA (or J-LAD as Jay called them) lest we get exposed by them. Being in all these alliances is like juggling chainsaws, but like juggling chainsaws if you pull it off correctly you look really cool. Also it's good for our game and stuff. ________________________________________________________________ Okay I hate being in all these alliances like Drew's complaining to me about being on the bottom and like that sucks but I don't know what to tell you bc like I'm in this messed up tangled up web of alliances like I can't make any promises to you when I'm already committed to like half of the people in the game okay? Also Drew told me that like the f6 would be me Jay, JLAD, and Keegley, and that JLAD would be the swing bc there's no way that Keegley would align with Jay and I'm like OprahFingerWag.gif.  

Kevin for the past YEAR AND A FUCKING HALF: Oh, Drew is such a rat, he's never worked with me, even though he always says he wants to, he would have flipped on me in Pompeii too, remember PI All Stars, remember Motu Maha, never trusted, always dissed, never stanned, he's a snake, why do you fucking do this to me every time, we could have worked together, we could have had everything!! Me: Kevin, I am with you and Jay above all others, this is my team, this is my family, and nobody is getting in the way of my family, this is it for me, y'all are it for me, let's do this Kevin: Well actuallyyyyyyy :~) Kevin: https://gyazo.com/4e0bbd0baf3d7d7c5b0da7c6557bb2c7 Kevin: okay so i'm sorry about that. it was kinda my uncertainty with jack like i mentioned before and paranoia and also i just wasn't like certain about steven since like this was my first round with him Kevin: this game just so messy Kevin: i'm honestly just taking this game one step (or round i guess) at a time Kevin: and i wish i could tell you something but i don't want to lie even more or make any promises yet bc like i said it's figuring things out one step at a time What's a guy gotta do to make a damn friend? Because the answer is clearly not "To make a friend, you have to be a friend." Not even for family. Not anymore.

Drew needs to stop fucking winning so I can get him outta here. Next I thought Jack would be going but I guess no one else wants that?????? Saying its too easy to get him out.... Like bitch aint that what we want? I mean I could see Drew seeing a Jack vote coming and playing his rainbow idol on Jack to vote out whoever they want. But Kevin mentioned not even going for Jack and finally separating JD and LA. I like that idea but then I am scared some people will then just flip to Drew. And in an alliance of 4 that wouldnt be so great.

Me: thankful that this round might be easier because everyone sane person in this game would want Drew out Drew: wins immunity Sigh. So I guess it's time for yet another fun round of screaming, panic, stress, overthinking, and even more screaming. It's time for us to separate the JLAD duo. From what Keegan said we're gonna split the votes between them and Jack. I personally wanna get rid of JD because I feel like she trusts me less than LA does, and idk she feels...shadier and like the more stubborn one. I feel like I have more wiggle room with LA? Probably? 

Oh man. I dun goofed. I played an idol so wrong it's almost right. Everyone and their mother was saying the vote was between me and Steven but someone lieeeeedddd. Jay lied. And Kevin lied. I guess drew talked to both of them about blindsiding LA. And yet neither told me it wasn't my name so bye bye idol. Aaaaand now I'm in the "Wholesome Happening" alliance with Jay and Kevin. So that's interesting. Ashley is also in that with us. She says she's also with JD and LA in an alliance chat. Hopefully she sticks with us. I guess the plan for tonight is to break up JLAD, while throwing Jack's name out there in hopes of drew playing a rainbow idol on him. It's unlikely but maybe. Either way, as long as the four of us vote for JD or LA, we should all be safe moving forward. And now we have to hope Drew doesn't win immunity next challenge. 

hhhhhhhhhhhso. Drew got immunity, which is annoying, because it means he probably won't play his idol tonight as we were all hoping. The plan is kind of....unsure at the moment. Kevin and I are still playing the middle, which kind of sucks and kind of is great because it feels like we have some power. I think I might actually be in a really good position on the tribe. Keegley trusts me and J-LAD trusts me, and Kevin trusts me. I might be able to wiggle in with Dreck. So that's good. The easiest thing would be to pick off Jack - probably everyone could agree on that and it wouldn't be too hard. But long term, this could be Kevin's and my only opportunity to separate LA JD. It feels like this may be the vote where we have to pick sides. But, from past games, I'm of course wary of making a big move and making myself known as a strategic threat. Hopefully I can pin it all on Keegan? I'm CONSIDERING the possibility of self-voting so that, after this vote, I can pretend that I was with everybody. If there's a majority on LA without me, that might be the best thing, but I still have to get the keegley+kev alliance to choose between JD/LA. My goal is to be able to make Keegan or WHOMSTEVER think that voting LA was their idea, not mine. Basically, after this vote, I want everybody to still love me and for everybody to be in my pocket. I think the self-vote might be the only way to preserve my position, because if I vote with either group, I'm gonna lose trust somewhere, and if I throw my vote, I'm going to seem like I was torn. With a self vote, I can pretend that I was 100% with EVERYONE and just blame it on...an excuse I haven't considered yet. Stay tuned. Hopefully tonight we'll see a bLAndside (Ali suggested that pun to me I'm so sorry.)

I've done some research and the results will SHOCK you. Drew is basically the Jordan Pines of this season. -He's kinda a duo with Jack C -Jordan's close ally, Jack C, went home at f9. Drew's close ally, Steven, went home at f9. -Both have the Rainbow Idol -Everyone wants him gone but he keeps fucking winning immunity The facts don't lie. #StayWoke I just realized I'm killing two of my Taveuni children in a row I'm a horrible parent

2. Who is in the best position? 17. Who has the most final two deals? 20. Who would you like to go on a romantic date with? I would say that me and lori are in the best position but that done not mean I have the most final two! It's it a final three anyway? Or did I not read something again? I'm flattered, that two people would want to go on a date with me <3 I know I'm hella cute~ hahah But okay, enough of the fun. The game is really starting to get me stressed, I don't wanna be the person that goes home with an idol in their pocket but I don't wanna waist it. I don't believe that the vote is for Jack, just doesn't make since at the point. I know I was all for sending him home before but at this point you need to keep the numbers, with eight people and there is always the possibility of flipping so me and LA need to decide asap who we are going to go to the end with but I think that we are leaning towards Ashley and Keegan just because we don't have that much trust for Kevin at this point. If we voted Keegan or Ashley now then the other one would get pissed and flip. On that I think that Jay would stay with us if we explained that we thought Kevin was playing both side, which I think he is and I know she is but at least she is telling us what is going on. This is literally the make or break it vote, I would use the idol to save the people that I want to but again, I don't want to waist it. But maybe if I can convince Jay that I'm throwing her name out there cus I think she is the flipper, tell her I have the idol and that I will use it on her then maybe we can still win this.... I might have to give her the idol and just pray that the vote isn't for me or LA again. I just  don't know if it is worth it... Is it worth it  or is it not worth is... THAT is the question! 

Amanda So its been a while since I gave my thoughts on the game so here we go... We have 4 pairs right now. Keegan/Ashley, LA/JA, Kevin/Jay, Drew/Jack. Everyone wants to split up LA/JD, and it seemed to be working so far, but JD is catching on that these pairs are gonna have to cannibalize on each other soon, so she wants to get a head start on that. Then Jay had this crazy idea about intentionally self-voting? Like, I get her strategy but like, seeing it from this end, every vote is gonna count and if she doesn't vote, it could go very badly for her. I dont know what Drew is thinking because the kid hardly makes confessionals and he isn't in any alliance chats. ugh... To be perfectly honest, I really don't know how this vote is gonna go. 

Okay! Game changer! JD just messaged me saying shes potentially willing to vote out LA and not work with her in order to advance her game and I'm......shook. I don't need to do anything devious if JD is willing to just go with the plan. I'm. whew.

njkdhbfboajniog I DONT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING! I NEED ALI!! OKay so i don't know if I am really planing on doing this but I mean... maybe? I'm really worried that she is going to go home and I think that it's stopping my game. I need to stop worrying about what is happening in her game and just play mine. dear god.................................. If this is what happens then Ali is right and I am like... The chick that voted out her mom o.O If I think that I actually have the people voting for her though, we can vote where ever we want and I can play my idol on her but... My game... I dont know yet. A) 

or B) 

________________________________________________________________

okay so my 'i dont know what Im doing' really just fucked me over. I'm dumb and I panic and I dont think about what I say and this is a prime example. ________________________________________________________________ I suddenly feel like Matt Fucking Summer in.... My season. ________________________________________________________________ Truthful I think that me and LA are on the bottom, that Drew is really good with talking with people and that he is ether in the process of flipping or has already flipped, you, jay, kevin and keegan. I think that if LA went home then I would be able to play my own game and maybe me, Ashley and Drew could go to the final, just with no alex. I also think it's stupid to take Drew to the end. so that's a no go if she goes home I dont have to worry about her but I also dont have to that solid extra person ether . ________________________________________________________________ After the mental mess I put myself though and the mess I made of things. I wouldn't be surprised if I go home tonight, but I still feel like Lori will go before me so I mean... Maybe. Hopefully. Well see if I life to make another confession

Alright so I have a quick question, what the fuck. Jay told me JD came to her and was like hey I'm voting Kevin and Jay's like um maybe don't do that and JD's like so you're good to vote Kevin?? I know she's cracked but??? This is a new level. I have a feeling Drew might be up to this mishap but idk? That's kinda my automatic assumption but oh well. If any idol hijinks happen tonight I'm playing my idol because I trust approximately 1.5 people in this game. 

Okay we're trying to vote LA again. It will hopefully be me, Kevin, Jay, Drew, Ashley, and Keegan, but who fucking knows anymore. All I know is I'm going to try to exploit my current confused status to get people to take me to the end.

I'm way less certain about this tribal council than the last one. Last time I was confident about where everyone else was voting. With the way JD's been acting I'm a little nervous. And if Drew has done some crap then it's 4-4 with the other side having the advantage since Drew has immunity nnnn. I know Drew does want the other side out so hopefully he's not snaking me. Also just nervous because Jay and I's mist has been kinda fading. Our mist isn't even mist it's like, water vapor. Our status as a duo is obvious but since it's kind of a duos game at this point that doesn't make us a threat. Still though...yikes

This is why Drew is going to win. I broke one time and told jay and Ashley that I wanted to vote for Lori and drew got a hold of it and now that's it. They are going to send her home and if I use my idol on her then I'm fucked because then no one will believe that I will vote her out. But then do I trust that they are voting out Lori and not me? Im not going to turn on her right now, not if it's to help someone else. If we vote Kevin and it doesn't work then I guess I'm gonna have to kiss some ass but otherwise... 20 minutes to go

Either Kevin, me or JD are gonna get blindsided tonight. It's been too quiet. And its that kind of day. Rip.