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tbhimnoteasyonmyself · 2 months

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WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PHEE?

(and other equally puzzling things)

An EXTREMELY EXTENSIVE Post-Episode 10 Analysis/Theory

So, okay. Episode 10 was A LOT. Like... A LOT, A LOT. And a lot of this lot seems... Weird as fuck. So many odd choices were made in the narrative.

Top's drugged manipulation; White pulling info about shrooms out of his ass; Fluke becoming a victim of involuntary drug abuse ghosts of his past and begging for mercy after "all he did to Non"... But nothing beats Phee's OOC moments in ep.10 while he's alone with Jin.

Which is what compels me to make this post. Because this series has been nothing but the richness of detail and now suddenly... It's all over the place? Call it wishful thinking (or Last Twilight trauma) but I don't think so. And it mostly comes down to: Phee. And whatever his "agenda" is.

PS: All screenshots of the show I use (and I will use a lot) will have been brightened because this show is FUCKING DARK, BOYYYYYY and I don't think y'all deserve to force your sight at 3AM to enjoy my posts.

WHAT HAPPENS AND WHY IT'S SUSPICIOUS

So? What does Phee say and do when he's alone with Jin in ep.10 and why am I suspicious of it?

It's hard to say for sure. But we can base ourselves off of 3 things: what we hear him say, what Jin replies to him and the flashbacks (no, they're not just there to fill in time for this very short episode, they serve a narrative purpose).

So let's do this analysis following the order in which things are shown to us, shall we?

First of all, we get a short flashback. The events are as follows:

Phee and New go to see the gang's film

New approaches Phee and they talk

New and Phee decide to try and figure out what happened to Non by infiltrating the group

New and Phee join the gang's school and start asking question

Jin decides to leave Thailand

New suggests going to Por's mansion for the goodbye party

Phee questions New in the lab about his decisions

New suggests using their homemade drug on the group as a truth serum

Phee asks if the drug is deadly and New denies it

Although we don't hear Phee tell this to Jin, Jin does reply very angrily something along the lines of "and you just let him carry on with it? why didn't you stop him? what the fuck is wrong with y'all???", so we can assume we've been shown what Phee told him.

So far, it's very unsuspicious. We've been shown these events before in the actual flashbacks so we can be fairly sure all of that is true.

It starts to get suspicious, however, when Phee replies to him: "There's so much more that you don't understand. About Non, and Tan".

And I think Jin feels the vibe too because, the man standing on his tall pillar of morality and righteousness /s, says he'll give Phee another chance to cut the bullshit and tell him everything. And so Phee sighs and the dreaded narration of ✨New's Murderous Adventures✨ starts.

So Phee tells Jin (and consequently us) that:

Phee and New set up a bunch of cameras to spy on the gang

New drugged the drinks

It was supposed to end when everyone was high at the party but New didn't follow the plan

New deleted the camera files

Phee kept drugging the group

Por's injury wasn't an accident but a trap that he thinks New set

New's drug enhances people's inner fears

Phee "never thought New would be so cruel with Uncle Dang"

New drugged Top at the temple

New must've left the hard disk for White to find

By the time he figured New's plan, there was nothing he could do about it (and we see him looking distressed at New's arrival at the house)

Now, here we have some interesting things. Let me list them for you.

Why would Phee keep drugging the group after Por got hurt?? If, as he claims, he didn't mean for people to get hurt, why would he keep people on drugs while a man is dying on the couch? Especially when the guy you're on a revenge mission with is ELIMINATING THE CONTENT OF THE CAMERA RECORDINGS!! That sure isn't gonna help anyone survive!

How does Phee know about Top??? He and Jin never saw Top arrive at the house. For all they know, that bro is lost in the woods. Right??

HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW WHITE GOT THE HARD DRIVE??? There's no signal in the woods. We've established that. When White tells Tee and New about his actions they're ALONE. The only other person there is LITERALLY THE MASKY (I'm calling the masked person that for convenience, it's shorter. besides, it seems the fandom has been calling them that anyways, so... yeah). So how does he know? How does he know???

And in that same fucking sequence: THE MASKY TRIES TO HURT NEW!!! Bu if New told Top to hurt everyone who hurt Non, why would he hurt him??? And why, my friends, WHY would he SAVE TEE, when he's the only witness of those events??? It would be so easy to just say the masky killed Tee and he couldn't save him... Is it 4D chess??? Is it a different masky??? Or, is it simply not true that New did that?

It's very confusing, weird and suspicious. But let's wait it out, guys, because there's more to PheeJin in the temple.

After this odd-ass narration, they're back to having a convo. Which goes as follows:

Jin (very validly) asks Phee what the fuck is wrong with him and New

Phee says he'd never allow them to go if he knew New was going for murder instead of just confessions ("you can hate me if you want but I never wanted anyone to get hurt, I swear" or whatever he said)

Jin asks if Tan is New and Phee is Non's boyfriend

Phee confirms Jin's suspicions and even adds that "p'New came back from England"

Jin asks if they ever saw the group as their friends

Phee says they wanted to infiltrate the group to find the truth because they didn't know shit about what happened to Non and it's haunting them (good choice of words there, very subtle /s)

Phee explains his motivation, stating he told Non to "get lost and die"

Jin confesses to recording the child grooming revenge porn tape and posting it on Twitter (-_-)

Jin explains his motivation, saying he respected Non's relationship (by constantly making moves on him?) but couldn't stand him cheating on Phee (so he one-upped him by committing not one but two actual severe crimes?)

Phee appears to be mad and disgusted so he says "Fuck. So we both were the ones who hurt Non?", gets up and starts pacing (oh no! the big boy is angy~~~ /s)

Jin gets up like a sad wet cat

Phee randomly finds an axe and takes some exposition out of his ass by stating "this must be Tan's axe that he keeps as a spare. But it's good"

Phee breaks the gate

So by this point Phee's whole speech sounds a bit insane, considering the type of person we've seen he is. Not to mention he just INSTANTLY calms down upon finding an axe and just decides to move on. Like ??? Excuse me??? If that ain't weird then idk what is. Like, sure, Phee is a very confusing and confused character (as better explored by @crysta1ized in this post). He seems to have his heart divided between many things and they could all be pulling at his strings there. HOWEVER, we have to remember Phee's also THIS guy:

Does this look like the kind of person who would just move on after a (perceived) treason? Does he??

And, the thing about this is that it gets worse.

After the scene cuts back from the house, Pheejin are lost in the damn woods (parallels to New and Tee? mayhaps, man, mayhaps...) These are the events there:

Phee is back to supporting Jin's weight with his body while they walk (which makes no fucking sense bc Jin hurt his SHOULDER which is a part of his UPPER BODY so there's no reason why he couldn't walk on his own but okay, sure)

They make no progress walking for a while, even despite trying to mark the places they've already been at

Jin is very upset that Phee's not very good at navigating through unknown forests at night

Phee, however, is very understanding and says: "Jin. I told you that I would be the one who would protect you. So I'll get you out of here" then PROCEEDS TO HOLD HANDS with him and continues with: "Right now, our friends are waiting for us to help them. So, you must stay strong. Believe in me"

-Jin nods (because, despite trying to play the apathetic bitch, he's a softie and very much has feelings™)

-PheeJin finally find the exit of the fucking forest

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW SOMETHING'S VERY WRONG WITH PHEE HERE??? Bro's not just acting weird (that would be fine, we love weirdos. *looks at New and winks* <3), he's abnormal. He's not acting like himself.

So, before I jump into trying to make some sense out of all of this, I'll just add the last scene of PheeJin alone in ep.10, last anyone come tell me I missed it:

They're arriving at the mansion

Jin falls down

Phee abandons the axe to help him

I don't think this one is particularly relevant to analyse Phee's character in this episode (although the axe is certainly relevant for other plots and our dear 9th person) but it's there. After this, they're back in the house with everyone and Por's rotting corpse.

PHEE IS HIDING THINGS

So what the fuck happened, really? Well, a lot. Some are easier, I think, to interpret, some aren't but regardless, there was a lot going on with Phee. To make this very complex thing a bit easier to understand, I'll start from the things I think are a bit easier to explain and/or are more solid and then I'll move from there towards the rest of this mess. Okay? Ok- (gets shot bc I hate John Green).

One thing for me that's nearly set in stone is that Phee, at the very least, isn't telling Jin everything. If he was, then the flashbacks would've started with PheeNon's falling love montage but they don't. They start at the cinema. Plus, Jin has to ask if Phee is Non's boyfriend and Tan is New, like he's piecing things by himself. If Phee had told him that, he wouldn't need to ask. AND Phee would've have referred to New as New during his whole monologue but he did not. He kept saying "Tan". He only started doing so after Jin asked the question and he confirmed Tan was New.

Curiously enough, he also never mentions the antidote he knows exists and KNOWS New brought along. And that neither of them ever used on the others.

The million-dollar question here is then, naturally: why? Various reasons, I believe.

1st of all I think we have to account for the feels. Phee is definitely in a weird ass zone with Jin but it's something. And he feels that something (whatever it is. believe me I could make an entire post about that shit, it's so fucking complex, man, and it only gets worse this episode). He likes Jin, even if he tries not to or if he dislikes that he likes him. It's undeniable. So yes, of course, he doesn't want Jin to hate his guts more than necessary.

But also... We cannot forget why Phee himself is there: to find out what happened to Non. And what does he get out of the conversation he has with Jin? That's right. A confession.

Now, I don't think it's the confession he expected if his reactions are anything to go by:

I mean... If this is not the face of a man thinking "well, shit", then idk what it is. And also because, idk if it's a subtitle error or not, but he seems to ask "what did you three do?" when he's inquiring about the events of the past, so...

Someone is being excluded.

Still, I think it's super possible he was hoping to get something out of it. After all, even if he assumes Jin is innocent in his actions, I don't think he's excluding him from having knowledge of what went down. That would make his positive bias even sillier.

So yeah, sure, I bet Phee feels genuinely guilty and it hurts him to be in the situation he's in and he definitely wants to be in a good place in terms of his relationship with Jin, especially because, as he said, he doesn't know if they can get out of the temple. But also... As Ta (Phee's actor) himself said in an interview: Phee can be really manipulative (I can't find the damn interview rn but, during my search, I found @raelle-writing had also mentioned it in this post, so I think it's enough to say I didn't dream that shit). You know... 2 things can be true at once.

Which brings me to the next part:

PHEE IS LYING

That whole talk of "I never thought he would hurt you", "if I had known I wouldn't have let you come", blah, blah, blah. That's some major BULLSHIT.

Phee knew exactly what New was capable of. At least, on a subconscious level. After all, if my friends started being murdered, my 1st assumption would not be that my best friend did it. Unless, of course, my best friend was spiralling down to madness, constantly using drugs to see his dead brother and answering shit like this:

With a smirk on, when I ask him if the absynthe is gonna kill our friends. Because yeah, sure, I guess the green won't kill them. But you can't tell me this motherfucker wouldn't. He definitely would. And if we can infer that, so does Phee, who has been living with him as his close friend for the last 3 years.

In fact, the very fact that he feels the need to ask whether or not the drugs will kill the gang is proof enough that he, to some extent and, whether or not he's aware of it, KNOWS that's, at least, a possibility. Knows that's something New would do.

So yeah, he's perhaps not just lying to Jin (but also to himself) or not intentionally lying, but he's lying nevertheless. Phee knew this was a possibility. He knew New was capable of stuff like that. And when he pieces the story together, that's him admitting, even if no one realizes, that he knew it. And that he let it happen, in fact, because he never tried to stop the drugging. Or talked to New about what was going on (you'd think if he had that he would've told Jin in that situation). His biggest weapon is his knowledge and he chose not to swing the sword sooner. How very Fluke of him, isn't it? Especially because now 2 people are dead and that's on New, right? Right???

Not necessarily.

NEW IS NOT A MURDERER (initially)

You see, for all we see New is fine with death and murder in episodes 9 and 10, he makes it clear his nº1 goal is to figure out what happened to Non when he gets in front of a fucking firearm to harass Tee into talking.

So why would he talk Top into murder? Why would Top attack him?? Why would he kill Uncle Dang?? And why, on the goddamn Earth, would he eliminate the recordings in the house when his whole motivation is

(Thank you, hallucination Non <;3) to expose them??? Especially when the only other person who knew about the hidden cameras was Phee. It makes no sense! Sure, he might've contemplated the murder, but on a later phase of the plan, I think. The priority was, always, to get them to confess on camera so he could later use the recordings to expose them to the country and clear Non's image. 'Cause we cannot forget, while the people close to Non don't buy the bullshit TV news sensationalist story (and, therefore, are searching for the truth), the rest of the country thinks Non is a slut who ran away with mafia money and his teacher(because, like @delululover explains in this post: Asian culture tends to normalize grooming of older teens and even blame them for the situation).

So what are we seeing when Phee narrates the events? Well, probably just Phee's guesses.

He thinks New is deranged and has drugs and that Top is missing and now they're being attacked by this person, who is conveniently wearing a mask. So he guesses that's Top. Plus, he doesn't know New was attacked by Masky in the middle of the forest.

He knows, like everyone else, that New had the hard drive. And, when Top and New go out in the woods with the bike he remains in the house. So, it's possible he saw the hard drive there where New left it before he went out.

And, because the only 2 people remaining in the house, as far as Phee knows, are Fluke and White, and New DEFINITELY wouldn't want the drive to get into Fluke's hands, he must've assumed New wanted White to find it (which may or may not be true but it's irrelevant, I think).

And, yes, calm down, I can hear you scream: "But how did he know White watched the video???" And the answer I bring you is very simple: he didn't. He has no idea. And the best part is: you only think he knows because you know. But Phee never says that. He says New left the hard drive there for White to find. And that's it. He never mentions a video whatsoever.

Now, is it convoluted? Yes. Absolutely. But we have to think this is Phee we're talking about. He's the guy who always thinks he has the upper hand (a.k.a thinking he can save Non or that he's not falling in Love with Jin). It's almost impossible for him to think he's in the dark as to what is happening to them. After all, in his narrative of his life, he is the hero. And, I know, lots of people in the fandom see it that way as well, so... It's not impossible to imagine that's what the story is trying to sell us. It's trying to make us believe Phee knows. When in reality, I think, it's more likely that Phee's the embodiment of this meme:

Okay. But then if New didn't do it, then who did? Because something is obviously going on with Top, right? And Uncle Dang IS very much dead. So what the fuck is that all about?

THE SECRET 9TH PERSON? ENTITY? THING?

As discussed several times by several people in this fandom, there's a very high possibility that there's someone else with them in the woods.

@blmpff points out the existence of various versions of the mask here. @subtextsays points out the crutches in the bathroom scene with Top here. There's this shit:

Whatever it fucking means (besides the fact that it gives me the hibbie jibbies). Someone is also obviously taking care of the Janta cult because there's fresh food in the offerings.

@raelle-writing also points out here that New is also seeing stuff even though our favourite insane motherfucker has got (and has been using!) the antidote.

And, as of episode 10, as @babyangelsky pointed out in this post. When PheeJin are lost in the damn woods, the cuts on the wood Phee supposedly make keep changing.

Which makes both of us question if they're all the same cut or even all done by Phee.

So, I think this is enough to speculate Phee could very much just be misinterpreting the whole thing and attributing guilt to New when, in fact, someone else has been causing the deaths.

Now you may question who and that's all very fair. You should even. But that is not what this post is about and, frankly, thank god, because this is already a monstrous creation.

So let's pick this cut these cuts in the wood and use it as a segway to the last part of this, shall we?

PHEE IS AS BENEVOLENT AS A GREEK GOD

So Phee's mad. Super mad. He's passing around and cursing.

Jin, the only person he probably genuinely thought didn't do anything, is the one who recorded and posted the video.

And then Phee finds an axe. And, suddenly, Phee changes. Why?

Well, we have to look at it with what urges Phee to talk in the first place (besides his feelings and his wants): Phee is losing hope. He states it himself that he doesn't think they're going to be able to get out of the temple. So, he talks. Sure, he doesn't say everything but it's the closest to being honest with Jin we've ever seen him be.

And then their whole reality changes. Because Phee found an axe. And it all comes down on him: they are going to get out of there. And what now?

As @yellingaboutkp states in this post Phee is not only hard to read for us or confusing to the other characters (Jin mainly). He's also hard to read and confusing to himself: "...is Phee still playing Jin? It seems like he's trying to, but the more time he spends with Jin, the harder it's getting to stick to the plan."

Thus, what we see at the end of their time in the temple and alone in the woods is a mix of things, I believe.

Phee needs to feel like he's in control again. And with the original plan being ruined and Jin knowing too much (and there's no way he's not gonna speak, in fact, it's the very first thing he does when they arrive at he house) he's simply not. So when he tells Jin everything is gonna be alright, he's also trying to tell that to himself. He's trying to reassure himself that they're gonna get out of that huge mess. And, perhaps, in saving Jin also finding some redemption because, according to his own narration of the events, he let New go to far (as Jin points out).

Phee also knows more now. And maybe, if he was able to get Jin to speak once, without even having to force anything out of him. who knows if he cannot do it a second time in front of the cameras they've set inside the house? So he's trying to follow the script and manipulate him into trusting him, like he always has been trying to do. Except this time he's more bitter about it. And this, alongside with reason 1, is why these two scenes feel so different:

And lastly: Phee knows the catastrophic effects his words and actions had on Non when they broke up. He knows the consequences of his rage. It's the entire reason why he's there. Because he failed at being a good boyfriend the 1st time. Does he really want that to happen again? Does he want to fail Jin too? There's a reason (besides the story itself and his need to justify himself to Jin) why we see that flashback of his break-up with Non in this episode. And I believe this is it. (so yeah, I understand it might be frustrating to see Phee be more benevolent to Jin who fucked up big time than Non who didn't do anything, it is EXACTLY because he wasn't benevolent to Non that Jin is getting princess treatment)

So, in conclusion: Phee is fucking confused. And it carries on being that way for the rest of the episode. Phee calls New out but he doesn't seem to care too much about Por being dead on the couch. He helps Phee on the ground, but he doesn't say a thing about Fluke pointing a gun at Tee. Sure, he does ask for the gun at a certain point but isn't that just more of Phee's desperate need to get control back?

And we see this all come down to the preview of the next episode and what it's probably going to mean:

Phee finally has got things under his control again. But this means, surprise, surprise, that Phee's gotta make a choice: to shoot (and stand on New's side) or not to shoot (and stand on the gang's side). Which, of course, metaphorically is a choice, in good romance and BL fashion, between 2 lovers: Non and Jin. But also, in good storytelling, as, once again, @raelle-writing (can't help myself, Rae's posts are FIRE 🔥🔥 sksksksksks) explores better in this post: a choice between the past and the present; continuing to drown in grief and a wish for revenge or choosing to move on and heal.

And, as I (YES, if I'm gonna tag a bunch of people and their works, YOU BET, I'm gonna link my own stuff) explore in this post about White's identity and role in the story (and other people in the fandom have commented), I'm inclined to believe he's gonna pick the gang, Jin, the present, healing. Because this is a story about the damage caused by cycles of violence and grief. And a story about how, the only way to stop them, is to choose not to participate in them by letting go.

CONCLUSION

Thank you for your time and attention. Feel free to comment and discuss this with me. And I'll see you either on my next long-ass monologue or next Saturday as we watch episode 11!

All the love 💜💜💜

PS: Shout-out to the group chat, including, but not limited to: @ayansbff, @cyberstalking and @squishysquadstuff who have listened to me ranting about this post since Saturday and told me to eat when I was too focused on writing it. Your patience was fundamental in carrying me through this monstrous project (it took me 10 hours to write this all) 💜💜💜.

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oonajaeadira · 6 months

Note

i was rereading a GTTT chapter and Patricio has just been in my mind rent free, creeping in from daydreams in places i should not be daydreaming. So I’ve got a PATS question for you. How would Patricio and Reader navigate the issue of him being too drained sexually when Reader is needy?

Hello, lovely.

First of all, I want to apologize for the long hiatus I've taken on Pats and Pres. This ask--and many more--have been sitting in my inbox for far too long and I'd like to think that answering late is better than never. Thank you for your patience with me!!!

This is a very interesting question and it sparked some over-arching thoughts. I have half an answer for you here--from his point of view, and therefore the "drained" part of it. Pres may not seem too needy here, but look to the next installment for more on that.

Also, a non-apology here to everyone.

For so long I've made you believe that Patricio is confident, in control...or at least in denial about it when he's not. But he's growing. Changing. There may be more vulnerability here than you want and much less sexy times. Not everyone has a good day every day.

Kiss and Tell: Everyone's Allowed a Bad Day (GTTT PATS)

FANDOM: Calls - Apple TV (PATS is a character from ep. 3. “Pedro Across the Street.” This is not RPF.)

As with all of my PATS installments, warnings abound for explicit content. (This one's much tamer than most.)

(gif by cavill-henry)

It’s nights like these that he sometimes wished he smoked. He’ll pour himself a drink once the client wakes up and leaves, but he doesn’t want her to catch it on his breath.

Bourbon. Bath. Bed. Maybe something short and calm on streaming. There’s a new cowboy film just dropped by that Spanish director looks good.

Leaning on the kitchen counter and staring out across the silent living room, he contemplates the novel you left on the coffee table. Wonders if you’re missing it.

It occurs to him that he could call you. He can do that now. He doesn’t need a reason anymore, but even if the reason is a rough day…actually, maybe that’s even more reason to call you. In fact, he really should ask you–

His phone vibrates on the countertop and he frowns. It’s your pattern and his heart races a little, not only because it’s you, but thinking he’s been lost in thought too long, that he’s missed the three-hour mark. But a flip of the phone shows him he’s got 20 minutes to go.

Odd. It’s not like you to interrupt a session.

“Hey, muñeca, everything okay?” he mumbles, stepping barefoot out onto the front porch in nothing but his sweatpants.

Your voice sounds far away, “Oh shit,” before a riffling sound and then a clearer, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hit dial. I didn’t know I did. I was going to call and then I saw the time…I know you’re in the middle of a session, oh loverboy I’m so sorry–”

Just the sound of your voice is an instant balm. “It’s okay, it’s okay, she’s sleeping. I was actually just thinking about calling you.”

“Oh, really?” There’s something there behind your fluster, hiding among the smile in your voice, something that he might not have noticed if you hadn’t said you meant to call.

“Something you wanted to call me about?”

There’s a sound in the background. An announcement. You’re in public. “Um, no, not really. I just had a lonely moment, that’s all.”

“Well that’s an ego boost. You wanna come spend the night?”

There’s a pause. Shocked, judging by your voice. “Really? On an appointment night?”

He scratches his head and focuses on his feet as he aimlessly paces the porch. “Sure. I mean, if like a quarter after ten isn’t too late for you to drive just to go to bed.”

“With the weather shifting and how warm you run? It’s never too late to say yes to a heated bed.”

He smiles. “Glad I can be of service.” There's silence from you and he cringes. “Shit. Not you– not– Was that a bad choice of word?”

“No. It’s just–”

“Hey. I want you here tonight. I wanna talk to you.” Another silence. He supposes that sounds ominous. It shouldn’t. “You know, here. Not…on a phone.” He’s still not good at this.

“That sounds nice…. You, uh, need anything? I’m at the grocery store.”

“No. Just you.” It feels good to say. Right. It’s what’s needed to break what feels like an odd tension into a few comfortable, mutually smiling moments. “So. The grocery store. And you’re feeling lonely. At a grocery store.”

Your laughter--hushed but musical--is kept close to the phone. “Well I am standing in produce and they just got in some preeeeeetty nice looking eggplants.”

“Wow.”

Another laugh, less hushed, throatier. “Okay, I’m sorry! I’ll let you get back to your work. I assume you’ve got a sleeping beauty to wake up.”

Pulling the phone away from his face for a timecheck, he winces. “Yeah. I’ll see you in 20?”

“I’d say I can’t wait, but you know that I will.”

Wow. “I know and I…”Something sweet twists inside. “I know.”

After you hang up he stands a minute more on the porch in the dark. The leaves are almost all off the trees now, the crickets are gone. His feet are freezing and the skin on his torso is goosebumping; doing its best–and failing–to lift his fine hairs to shield him from the autumn chill. But it’s far from unpleasant and he finds that he’s awake for the sensation in a way he hasn’t been in a while.

He’s alive again in a way he hasn’t been in a while.

The last couple of months have been…nothing short of amazing.

He should tell you that. He should say it.

But he’s got to get to that point where…he accepts it.

Not the relationship…the fact that there’s always a possibility it’s too good to be true, that he could lose it. He could lose you.

You’re handling everything so well, but for how long? How long until you make him choose?

Oh fuck, please don’t make me choose, preciosa, please.

The phone buzzes in his hand. Timer; no need to look, just thumbs the button to silence. On another night, he’d allow himself more time, let the client sleep while he mused. But he’s got a job to do.

And someone special arriving soon.

So he packs these thoughts away and goes quietly inside to prepare.

________

He’s just poured the detergent in the washing machine when he hears the door open. “Hey, I’m just cleaning up, gimme a second.”

Out in the entry, your shoes clatter on the floor and then your keys jingle on the kitchen counter and before he knows it you’re on him, topless and crowding him against the washing machine, kissing him like he’s just come back from war. It’s jarring but pleasant and full of hungry sighs…until there’s a ping in his calf muscle.

“Ooh, hey, Pres, hey hey, hang on.” Taking your face in his hands he calms, he whispers, he soothes you in order to soothe himself, but you catch on instantly, concern splashing over you.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

A kiss to the tip of your nose, to your smart little nose. “No, no, I’m a little sore; just had a difficult session–a difficult day, actually. And I haven’t showered yet. So don’t get yourself too worked up here. You don’t want me like this.”

He expects you to recoil from this, to find the sex with someone else still lingering on his skin. You don’t.

You simply run your hands over his sides, lean in to kiss his chin. “Of course I do. I want you like whatever you are.”

You’re backlit from the kitchen and there’s something like a soft halo around you, bringing a glow to the roll of your cheeks, the swipe of your lip. Tracing these with a finger and finding himself reflected in your eyes, he trusts you, accepts this, tries to see himself like you do. How are you so effortless?

There’s nothing but surrender when you rake your fingers through his beard and push yourself up onto tiptoe to press a warm kiss to his forehead. “But if you really feel that way, beautiful, let me run you a bath.”

Everytime he opens his eyes and you’re there, it's like a small miracle.

“Come on,” you smile, taking his hand and guiding him to the stairs, “let me take care of you and you can tell me about your day.”

You’re perfect. He’s so grateful he picked up the phone tonight when he did.

________

“Mmmmm, that’s good.” The sigh comes up from his bottom wells, like a contented creature crawling out of hidden caverns within. The back of his head rests in your palm, warm water spilling over his scalp. Your hands whisper and calm and soothe. He spends so much time using his touch to bring relaxation to others that he’d all but forgotten that it could go the other way. And your touch–

“So there was some heavy lifting tonight, huh?” Your finger lightly wipes away an errant rivulet from the corner of his eye. “Ness, right?”

The ghost of irritation looms. “Mmm. She has a pretty severe tailbone injury. Didn’t tell me about it before she showed up. Lot of full-body lifting on the table just to get her in the right positions for stretch.”

“I see. You’ll feel it tomorrow. And sore tailbone means no actual sex tonight.”

“Oh no, we had some fun. She’s got weeks of recovery ahead of her and she needed some practice re-routing some natural orgasm responses to different muscle groups when she ejaculates.”

“Ejaculates? She…? Ohhh.” A loving hand begins to wander lightly over his chest. “I assumed. My bad.”

“Sorry. Should have been more clear. But yeah.”

“No need to apologize. I don’t know why I hadn’t just assumed that you…took all forms of payment.”

He peeks an eye open to catch your reaction as you reach over the side of the tub toward him and finds your warm, curious smile. “Not to disparage the vaginal anatomy, but sometimes it’s nice to have my dick handled by someone who has a lifetime experience with their own.”

“Noted. Fair.”

Closing his eyes and sinking into the warm bath of your care a lifetime goes by with your hands running over his skin.

“You’re very accommodating.”

A kiss lands on his temple. “Wait until you realize I’m terribly selfish and am in it for the rewards points.” When his smile fades, your hands slow. “That was a joke.”

“I know.” Sensing a shift in tone coming when he turns to you, you instinctively pull back, but he catches your hand in his, pulling it in to place a wet kiss to your knuckles. “Would you mind if I don’t want to have sex tonight?”

“Of course. That’s okay.” A half-smile. Are you covering disappointment?

“I’m more than happy to go down on you if you–”

But a shake of your head stops him. “No, it's fine. I can tell you’re tired. You said you had a hard day. Wanna tell me about it while we get you dried off and into bed?”

He feels like a child as he simply nods, allows you to help him up, succumbs to you as you care for him. It’s easy to do, to melt under your attention, to crack open and spill. He does his best not to control the spread as he generalizes a failed report at work, a difficult project he’s fallen behind on. By the time you’re sliding into the sheets and curling up next to him, he’s breaching the topic he’s been deciding and undeciding and deciding again to tell you about–that his mother called without warning.

“She wants to meet you.”

Your breathing stills in the darkness. “You told your mom about me.”

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I..” you stutter, “I guess I didn’t… I’m flattered that you talk about me?”

There’s a pang of guilt that he’s let you believe you’re not important enough for him to tell the world that you’re in his life. But he sighs as you squeeze your arm around his middle. “You might feel differently if you met her.”

“Are you kidding? I’d love to meet your…is it just your mom?”

“And my father. I have an older brother but he lives in Australia. Doesn’t go home much.”

“Home issssSantiago?”

“Just outside of it. Rancagua.”

Another squeeze. Perhaps that was a lie; your arm around him and the brush of your lips on his shoulder feels like his true home now.

“So this call was stressful because she wants to meet me. And you’re nervous?”

“The call was stressful because…I don’t…want her to meet you.” Your squeeze lightens a bit and he slides his grip over your arm in case you decide he’s awful and want to pull away. He knows he should let you go if you want to but– “I wanted to ask you, Pres…I’m sorry I don’t know if I can ask this much from you but–”

It almost breaks his heart when your arm slides through his hand, when your warmth leaves his side, when you abandon him…

But it’s only for the time it takes to hear the click of the bedside lamp, register the bright sting and spill of light, and you’re back beside him, leaning over him, turning his face to yours with one patient hand on his cheek. “What’s going on. I’ve never seen you like this.”

Shit. Get it together.

“You’re going to think I’m a fucking jerk–”

“Don’t tell me what you think I’m going to think, sir. Tell me what you need from me. Just say it.”

This leaves him with depleted gambling chips, raises the stakes. But you’re right. He has to be honest.

“The relationship I have with my family is…strained. That’s why I live here and not there. I see them somewhat regularly, but the holidays are when the whole family gets together–all the cousins–and it’s just a lot. There’s a lot that’s expected, a lot of judgements…it’s overwhelming. I can barely make it through myself, but having you there? Watching you be scrutinized on top of it when we’re just figuring this out? I just…no.”

“You know I won’t tell them–”

“It’s not that, fuck, it’s not that.” He surges in for a kiss, taking you in deep, willing you to understand him by osmosis; if only… “Every time I’ve gone down for the holidays it’s stressful enough…it’s…it’s bad enough that I’m away from my clients, but–”

“But under stress the itch gets worse. And you don’t have your outlet. And you’re not in control.”

Oh god, you see him. You see him and he’s so…fucking pathetic.

The last thing he expects is for you to pepper kisses along his mouth and chin, to dot a lingering one on his cheek before pulling him into your chest, to cradle him, breathe into his hair.

But it’s exactly what you do.

“What do you need, beautiful boy? Anything you want.”

He breathes. Sighs. Curses himself for doubting you, for assuming you wouldn’t surprise him. Allows you to hold the weight of his heart on your own without a spotter.

“I need to…not do the ‘meet the family’ thing this year. I just want you to myself for a while.”

A hum of sympathy, of bittersweetness, one that stakes his heart into the ground at your feet. “Oh Patricio. Is that all?” Your breast moves under his cheek as you lean over to turn off the light, your soft curves and soft scent and soft hum whispering to him, calming him, soothing him into you. “I’ll admit that I’m a little sad that I don’t get to show you off to my family, but I definitely see the appeal of a quiet holiday season, just us hiding away from the world together. You want me to yourself? Did you really think I would find that anything but absolutely wonderful?”

All at once, the strains of the day overtake him, the need to say more is gone and took his energy to do so right along with it. A whole lifetime of relief in just an hour. That’s your secret power. Always has been. He cannot think of words more meaningful than, “Thank you.”

Your fingertips begin their pattern of affection along his jaw, tattooing a spell of sleep through him. “This really means a lot to you, huh.” He’s too gone to get his voice to work and it seems you assume he’s fallen asleep. “Well you mean the world to me. You don’t even know, mister.”

It’s not worth the effort to drag himself from the downward pull of dreams to ask you to say more about that. Not when he knows you’ll be right here in the morning and he can ask you then.

Or say the same thing right back to you.

Maybe this time he’ll find a way to do that.

______

MASTERLIST

SERIES MASTERLIST

#good things take time #pedro across the street #calls fanfiction #23

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islandoforder · 1 month

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Hi just properly scrolled through your blog for the first time and wanted to ask a question:

Re: Riz should be class president post from over a week ago - why should it be Riz over Kristen now that the class president position has stakes? Is it because of Kristen’s inconsistent access to her spells in case she needed to defend herself? I’d love to hear more about your thought process regarding this - assuming your opinion hasn’t changed since making that post.

My thoughts personally are that character-wise, it makes more sense to me for Riz to be the one strategizing as the campaign manager, because he’s the one actually finding a lot of the traps the Rat Grinders have put out for them.

Whereas Kristen makes more sense to me as a candidate purely because of her charisma and good radar for social bs - her weakness, of course, being that she’s a bit of a wild card in her choices regarding the campaign. But at the same time, she’s been able to get away with wearing a soggy salsa hat in front of the entire student body and still maintain some chance for the candidacy.

Obviously, I’m ignoring the more mechanical aspects of this comparison. If that’s what you were referring to in your original post idk then. I’m still wrapping my head around how Riz rolls so well now, level 10 dnd shit is way over my head.

Sorry if this was long, I just wanted to express my thoughts as well as hear yours! Idk how far away we are from getting back to the campaign to class president, who knows what happens after they get back from fallinel!

hi! sorry this is such a late reply, i've been away and i wanted to watch the new ep before i started posting about anything d20 in case of unintentional spoilers haha

so i think part of it is that, imho, brennan intended the class president arc to be riz's:

kipperlily is a rogue, v type a, and a narrative foil to riz, and this would have directly pitted them against one another

riz needed extra credit things for his college app, like being involved in student govt/being student president

there's also something about kipperlily being fundamentally riz but richer

kristen's arc was clearly always going to be about cassandra, trying to regain her favour, or increase her popularity, or resurrect her

nara is the kristen foil this season (once again, kristen but richer)

everyone has like an individual arc this season except for riz, bc his was supposed to be student president

beyond all of this, i don't actually think kristen is able to take the student president stuff too seriously - every time she tries, she ends up doing a bit instead, at the steel workers union, at the middle school, even at the party. i actually think if riz was the candidate, he would manage himself, in the same way that fabian wanted to be the party house and arranges that himself, and adaine needed a job and worked on and got that herself. so like i agree that he's the best campaign manager, but that doesn't preclude him from being the best candidate as well??

also, frankly, a lot of the good social graces kristen has had this year are from riz putting in the hard work - him joining all the clubs and making those connections, him taking stress to give her more popularity, his own popularity, etc.

like i'm enjoying the silliness of kristen's campaign, but i'm kind of with sklonda on this - riz would be a better candidate, and it is to some degree a shame that he's putting this much effort into running a campaign for someone else. if they legit need the student body president bc they'll become proxy headmaster, then i think a more serious campaign with riz at the helm and finally having his time in the spotlight is not a bad idea!!

#elijahtries #chatting away #riz gukgak #brian murphy #kristen applebees #ally beardsley #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #fhjy #like i'm def enjoying this unhinged and not always logical campaign but it does make more sense to be riz on a couple of diff levels i thin #it's too late now i'm p sure #but he does deserve it!!#kipperlilly copperkettle #brennan lee mulligan

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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 3 months

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good things about ep. 7:

this episode was by far the best at working with film as a medium. there were still issues, to be mentioned soon, but this ep did a lot of things that impressed me on a level of cinematic structure and format:

some actual tension!! simply showing the trio running from cerberus created investment and stakes for me in a way no monster fight or other obstacle had before (a matter definitely enhanced by the music)

the use of flashbacks!! now, i have some issues with the content of those flashbacks, but since im basically getting two degrees in assessing media i know how to give credit where credit is due lmao. these flashbacks were doing interesting things cinematically, creating parallels with percy's experiences in the present, especially that last flashback where they continued poseidon's voiceover into the present moment. fuck yes!! use the medium of cinema to your ADVANTAGE!!

related to the use of flashbacks, the match cuts!! they were so good, as they helped make visual those narrative and characterological parallels being constructed through the flashbacks. film is an inherently visual and auditory medium, and it was so refreshing to see the show experimenting and making effective choices with those tools

some issues with ep. 7 and the series as a whole:

i'll admit it. im tired of the trio already knowing everything about every obstacle they face (having to improvise in the fight with cerberus was so refreshing and retained more of the spirit of the book as opposed to uh. every other obstacle). and i think this connects with show's overall struggle with writing, adaptation, and the medium of film. these writers have committed the cardinal sin of assuming their audience always needs explanation. in any writing class (fiction and screenwriting are my personal expertise), you are told to assume your audience is smarter than you think, bc a writer's instinct is to assume they need to be clear about action and themes out of a fear of confusing their audience and the end result of that situation is a boring, overly explanatory piece of work. (an re the young viewers, kids are freaking smart!! i literally teach kids of the age range these books are directed for and they are so quick-witted. kids don't need stuff handed to them on a platter, they know how to put puzzle pieces together.)

example of the aforementioned "too much knowledge" issue: the pearls. (people have already explained the issues with medusa, the casino, procrustes, etc., so im going for a new one that's been bugging me a bit.) after percy received four pearls, the general conclusion people came to was that one pearl would break, forcing them to have to choose three people to go/one to stay and thus making the choice more "meaningful" (i.e. bc the opportunity to save everyone had been stripped). it's a fair choice, a fair reason, a fair analysis, and this is a change that bothers me but much more minimally than other changes to the show. here's the deal: the reason they had to give four pearls in the show was bc the trio already knew exactly what the pearls would do. there was no reason to give only three pearls bc that would force a character (probably percy) to raise the question of like "hey, that's not enough to save four people!" so where am i going with this?

in the books and the musical, we get the alluring line of what belongs to the sea can always return to the sea. percy gets three pearls in the book and a seashell in the musical, where he doesn't know right away the specifics of what this gift does (the seashell is an excellent example of adapting a story to a new medium, as a low-budget theatrical production can't afford the effects of smashing three pearls and causing people to vanish from the stage, so blowing the seashell to open a portal was a great move that worked for the new medium and retained the spirit of the source material - percy having an epiphany well after receiving the gift about what, exactly, the gift did and how it would help him). in the show, they issue is that they already know, thus creating the dilemma of there being no reason not to give four pearls. again, not the worst choice the show has made, but it's another example of how the show's most pervasive issue is over-explaining and giving too much information to its characters.

in short: the pjo show doesn't understand "show don't tell." they love telling even though "showing" is Most Important in film as a medium, like it's even more important to show what's going on in film than it is in prose because cinema is an inherently collaborative medium that generates a visually-dominated product. the show clearly lacks a fundamental understanding of the medium it is working with!! and that is bad!!

another issue: the lighting. this show suffers from the current trend in film to make dark scenes impossible to see in.

more characterological problems: the gods are not imposing. just to speak of ep. 7 alone, why was hades so... banter-y? in the book he literally makes percy's hand "move... against [his] will" to show him the pearls. there was none of that power and domineering energy in the show!! the pjo show keeps hammering us over the head with what should be a series-long revelation about the gods' flaws and pettiness and spite and misuse of their incredible power, and yet all of the gods seem almost like... caricatures. where is their ability to be charismatic and threatening. to be lax and powerful. to remind us that they can, have, and will kill demigods.

core thematic issue: the show lacks the humor and fun and adolescent spirit of the books. i've seen a lot of people insist the show is directed for young readers of the book, which i don't disagree with, but the lack of humor and energy and vitality is undoubtedly turning off a lot of younger viewers. in a lot of instances, everything feels so gritty and angsty, lowkey like the winx adaptation (but on a less severe scale). we have moments of sass/sarcasm, moments of levity, but it doesn't feel like a core trait of the show (much less of percy) like it does in the book. and honestly, i think that's a loss! if rick wanted a grim pjo adaptation, fine, but i wish the show hadn't been advertised as something perfectly attuned to the spirit of the book bc it's just not. if it was, i'd be laughing a lot more.

now, let's talk about sally...

i don't love how they've characterized sally in this show. i respect that they wanted to "modernize" her character and more accurately demonstrate the struggles of a single parent raising a child with learning (and in percy's case, also magical) difficulties. i genuinely do respect that choice, and i can follow the thorough-lines created in the show that illustrate this revamping of her character. similarly, i can respect that they didn't want sally to seem like a stereotypical "passive" victim of abuse re gabe, hence her explicitly pushing back at him. that said...

i still don't think these are effective or necessary changes, because i don't think sally was portrayed as overly passive or as a perfectly equipped parent in the book. i understand the argument that gabe is still presented as abusive, i.e. that he checks her phone without permission and controls access to the car, but those moments feel so technical. when i rewatch those scenes and examine the acting (both line delivery and bodily cues), sally is outwardly derisive toward gabe ("who's yancy?" / sally sighs and shakes her head, exasperated, has the long blink to give an extra beat before responding: "the school."), yet at the same time there's a banter between them, where sally insists that she's going to go to montauk no matter what, and if gabe disagrees then she won't bring back both their sandwiches for the knicks game that they apparently watch together often (implied by "you know i hate watching the knicks alone!" "so do i!"). sally holds herself confidently in this scene (hands on her hips). gabe is forced to actually ask politely for his sandwich order (and notably holds his shoulders slightly inward, visually closing himself off in a physical representation of surrender). two of my friends, diehard pjo fans who are not literature or film scholars, were both confused as to why sally and gabe seemed to be bantering within a seemingly standard relationship dynamic - not necessarily the happiest of couples, but a standard married couple (as opposed to clear imbalance of power between them in the book).

to be clear, it's not that sally needs to be a "passive victim of abuse," and it's certainly not that the show needs to explicitly depict gabe hitting sally or percy for us to understand that he is abusive. my issue is that the show seems to have not understood what made sally a strong character initially: her willingness to endure anything for her son, including marrying an abusive man who smelled so rankly human in order to prevent monsters from finding them. like, sally resisted gabe's abuse in the book! the reason blue food is a major motif in the first place is because sally and gabe had a fight where gabe insisted blue food wasn't a thing, and thus percy observes that "ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue."

in other words, verbally standing up to one's abuser is not the only way to demonstrate that a character is not a stereotypically weak, helpless, passive victim. it's definitely an easy choice with regard to cinematic staging (and the show has a pattern of taking the easy way out of conflicts and nuance), but i think the real issue is that sally's vocal protests come in tandem with the defanging of gabe. why does his body language and tone falter in arguments with sally? does he not have the upper hand? where is the evidence of an imbalanced power dynamic? there is no one way to write abuse bc the tragic reality is that abuse happens in an infinite number of ways, but nonetheless i am frustrated with the route the show went down in the first ep bc it feels reductive to the core of sally's character and her strengths: her endurance, her implicit but present rebelliousness, and her love for her son.

im also not a fan of some of the flashbacks we're getting with sally. it's not that sally shouldn't be "allowed" to get frustrated ever, but a major element of her characterization in the books is that she didn't take that frustration out on percy. i just don't see sally jackson getting upset that percy doesn't want to swim (beside that, i can't imagine percy not wanting to swim lmao). i just don't see sally jackson almost aggressively telling percy that he is the one making their goodbye ugly (because he's being a kid?? who doesn't want to leave his mom?? you're telling me sally wouldn't recognize the root of his anxiety immediately??). i just don't see sally speaking vaguely to percy about there being things she has to do that he doesn't understand instead of doing her best to meet percy where he's at with her explanation. if someone is coming to this show without having read the books, i genuinely think they might be starting to question sally's parenting, i.e. if she was really as wonderful a mom as percy insists or if he simply sees her through rose-tinted glasses. bc here's the thing: percy does see sally and his mom's struggles through rose-tinted glasses, and it's because sally bottles up and hides her struggles and frustrations from him. she doesn't let percy witness those frustrations. as such, there's an incongruity between book!sally and show!sally that doesn't mesh for me.

in short, show!sally feels like a new character to me. that's fine if that's the route they wanted to take, but again: why advertise it as a faithful adaptation if you're not going to be faithful to the core elements of central characters?

im also disappointed by how much the show has stripped annabeth of her character besides her intelligence. i have some thoughts about the adultification of young Black girls and the fact that annabeth is Black in the pjo show, mostly that i can't tell yet whether the show has the self-awareness to offer commentary on this reality for many Black girls through annabeth's character being seemingly defined by her intelligence and maturity or if they're simply unwittingly replicating this circumstance. i need more material before i can make a concrete assessment here, but all the same, i wish they were allowing these kids and especially annabeth to be kids - to make mistakes, to fall into traps, to have little crushes and get flustered, and to not know everything about every monster/obstacle before they come to face it.

people have talked to death the issue of the pacing so i won't belabor it but in general this show has terrible pacing. the first two eps are rushed (we got so little luke that im concerned his betrayal won't have much heart/meaning/oomph in the final ep), the constant unnecessary exposition creates periods of narrative drudgery, most of the fights lack tension bc the choreography is effectively nonexistent, them missing the solstice deadline has so far sucked the wind of the energy of their quest (of which there wasn't much in the first place bc the show did a poor job establishing the looming threat of a globally destructive war being on the horizon), and in general there's no sense of stakes. sigh.

i probably have more thoughts, but i'll stop for now bc i've got a shit ton of assignments to work on. in sum: the show lacks an understanding of how film operates as a medium, and while the merit of the show as an adaptation can be debated, it's simply a poorly constructed and lackluster piece of tv.

(but on the bright side? the trio is killing it even with the weak material they've been given, and their acting talent is the only reason i and many of my friends have kept watching)

#pjo show crit #pjo tv crit #my brain is EXPLODING with thoughts lmao #now i've gotta go work on my own movie o7 godspeed everyone #amy analyzes

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lizzydizzyyo · 18 days

Text

I think what's really compelling about House's absolute unwillingness to bow down to anything or anyone (the ethical board, the law, extra rich CEO, vindictive police officer, and even the patients themselves) regardless of how absolutely batshit and downright illegal his actions are, is because it's coming from a chronically disabled person, in more ways than one.

He cannot walk without agony or his cane. His chronic and severe pain led him down the path of deep Vicodin addiction until he also becomes psychologically dependent on it too (once, Dr Cuddy gives him saline placebo and it "works", in that he is not feeling his leg pain anymore for a few hours).

He understands it deeply just how desperate people can be when they're in pain and nobody can (or are willing to) help them—at least, so far, until they land on his doorstep. Which is canonically the most extreme step patients take when everything else fails—you don't just go straight to Plainsborough Teaching Hospital and to Dr Gregory House MD's office; you have to go through dozens of other doctors in various specialties and failed treatments too.

(Although that's a separate discussion about how doctors, particularly resident ones, are overworked and underpaid and redtaped by shithead insurance companies even if they do know how to treat a patient and want to).

He knows, from the bottom of his heart, that having such a painful and life-limitting debilitating condition is comparable to hell on earth, because he has one. He knows, that despite his disability being visible to everyone, yet no one wants to put an effort to help him deal with it—is also hell on earth.

Cuddy simply throws money at him and turns the other way to his Vicodin abuse, like she is saying, "I don't care if he takes 10 Vicodin pills a day or more, and I have to pay at least $1M every year for lawsuits, as long as he gets the job done," (and when they decide to go into relationship, she immediately drops him when he relapses, even if the reason for his relapse is her—although, yes, there is another discussion to be had about keeping yourself and your child(ren) safe being a priority compared to helping an addict, recovering or not). Wilson, as loyal as he is to House, simply either enables him or lectures him without going into the root of the issue and thoroughly help House that way. His subordinates, especially after the original trio, are simply too scared, too ignorant, or too ambitious to even approach the issue and choose to keep their job than help House (also another discussion to be had about how you can't help people who don't want to help themselves and so on).

So when he sees a patient who has gone through hell trying to get a correct diagnosis and treatment, he becomes laser-focused on doing everything under the sun to get to the bottom of it and cure the patient. He doesn't care if he has to break into countless of houses (haha pun) and collect insane and probably biohazard samples to do it—he absolutely will, no question.

Yes, hate-criming and being a bigot is his favorite hobby (still livid at the asexual ep and the production's choice for the resolution, let's just say I still have beef with Hugh Laurie and the entire production team for it), and so is insulting patients in so many ways that Shakespeare would personally fly to New Jersey and shake his hands if someone manage to successfully perform necromancy on ol' Billy boy. But House is no one if not dedicated. "Yes, my patient is an idiot, everyone is an idiot too, but I WILL cure their condition like my life depends on it," is basically his middle name.

Besides, you can make the argument that he is more compassionate than all the other doctors around him, because despite his absolute disdain towards some of his patients' beliefs and stupidity, he still works his ass off to treat them. He will call your god an idiot in 7 different languages while putting you in a diagnostic machine he manipulated the whole hospital into letting him use so that you could get a test which weren't available to you before. He will tell you that your currently-happy marriage will end in a bloody divorce and your ex will leave you penniless so love is not real while injecting you with a medication he had to hack the CDC's database for.

There are even episodes that show him being truly earnest, like the clinic duty scene where he is snarky as usual to a girl who seemingly stupidly had unprotected sex until she lashes out, and House is like, "Oh shit, this is above my paygrade", and immediately goes to Cuddy with a very serious expression and no sarcastic dilly-daliying, demanding her to transfer the patient to someone else because he is not good with "curing" rape case (interesting choice on the writers' part to make the patient insist to have therapy with House, though).

There is an episode about a very workaholic woman executive in a fashion company who has tremor and partial paralysis, and later on it's shown that she seems to tie her worth as a person to her corporate success while band-aiding her deep psychological issue like her suicidal ideation, and House genuinely asks her, "Do you want to live? I cannot help you unless you want me to," or something along the line.

There is also the cursed 9-year-old terminal brain cancer episode where Chase kissed the patient (ew), where at first it shows House being a usual misanthophe to Wilson and saying, "She is not brave, it's the brain tumor clot talking because it must be near the amygdala." Later in the episode, House sits near the patient alone, and compassionately asks her if she even wants to live, going through the rest of her short-lived but horrible agony, even if they catch the clot. The surgery to find and get rid of the clot is risky and can debilitate her even more, and this is why House is laying the decision to her hands. That she gets to choose. This is what truly reveals to him that she is genuinely brave (aside from the scan showing the clot to be so far away from her amygdala), but for the wrong reason. She is brave for her mom, willing to go through horrible surgery and drag out her already painful cancer-ridden life because, "My mom needs me". When everyone is congratulating her in the end, you can tell House has a bittersweet expression of both awe towards her bravery, and sadness that this 9-year-old sick girl has to bear the brunt of her horrible pain just so that her mother is not sad. That he couldn't convince her to be a child until the nearing end of her life.

The most interesting evidence of his compassion to me is the gunman hostage episode. It might sound weird because in the whole episode, he is depicted to first want to outsmart the gunman patient, then becomes laser-focused but only because he sees it as a puzzle, then absolutely selfish and dangerous because he volunteers himself as the last hostage and gives the gun back to the guy after the MRI. I do think it's true that his dedication to solving patients-are-just-puzzle-to-me conditions shines through in the episode, especially the scene of him returning his gun, but there is something else I catch when I rewatched it before.

When the gunman patient is put in the MRI because Cameron tells him a theory through the hostage call, the remaining doctors in the room including House are wary at the gunman but also hopeful. Yet, when the result shows up on the screen, he realizes that the theory is wrong and the guy let go his only bargaining chip for nothing. If you watch this part carefully, you'll notice that House actually looks pitying and sad at the gunman's disappointed demeanor and expression. He realizes he is going to be another notch in the guy's failed doctors list, and at this point (with the gun given away and even the best, most talented doctor also not finding out what's wrong with him), the guy has given up hope that he will ever see the day he will be cured, certainly not behind the bars.

Yes, his thirst for puzzle is House's big driving force in giving back the gun, but you'll be lying to yourself if you don't notice House's compassion for the guy because he doesn't want the guy to go out empty-handed, with absolutely no more hope because House knows once they step out of the door, this guy will never, ever be allowed to be in the vicinity of any hospital or doctor ever again in his life, aside from jail's bare-minimum exams and medications. House can't handle the thought of putting someone else through his own disappointment—that nothing works to help his leg pain. He especially doesn't want to be the cause for this gunman guy's case either. Even in the end when House realizes the guy is a fucking moron because he doesn't know that Florida is, in fact, in earthwide-horizontal tropical zone and this is what stumps most of the guy's previous doctors—House still gives him a subtle salute to the guy while being handcuffed and led away, almost to say, "Enjoy your healing and the defeat of your arch nemesis The Sickness™, glad to be part of it."

Majority of his drive to stop at nothing until his patient is cured is definitely thanks to his own fucked-up leg, even if there are some dialogues with Cuddy and Stacy Warner (House's ex wife) that seem to imply he has always been a misanthrophe whose hobby is getting into malpractice (or general) lawsuits. I wholeheartedly believe that after his leg clot rendered him disabled and with chronic pain, he became much more dedicated and obsessed with getting to the bottom of a patient's medical information, even for info that seems innocuous or irrelevant that always turn out to be important (probably more like a plot armor than established characterization, to be honest), almost like this is his method of relating to the patients in his own weirdly human way, and maybe a little bit (actually, a lot) of projecting.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#house md #rec #media analysis #writing #english #me #i hv more to say abt this show like him making the mistake of not amputating his leg bc of his bias against (particularly visible)disabilit #even tho cuddy and his other past ortho surgeons suggest against keeping the leg because the clot is really bad and unsalvagable #years later even while having his leg it's now useless because all it gives him is pain and anger issue with a dash of opioid addiction #so when he sees patient being stupid or refusing a certain test/treatment he KNOWS in the bottom of his heart to be right #he just won't take it lying down & he will drag his patients kicking & screaming bc ''trust me i was an idiot too don't repeat my mistake''#but that's an essay for another day #whump #whump meta #disability

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adventure-showdown · 5 months

Text

What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

The Stolen Earth/Journey's End and Day of the Doctor tied. These are the 12 stories that were closest to making it through and so have been given a second chance

ROUND 3 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

The End of the World

Synopsis

The Ninth Doctor takes his new companion, Rose Tyler, to the year 5,000,000,000 to see the sun expand and destroy the Earth. The observation deck space station, Platform One, is holding an event with the richest beings of the time observing the Earth's destruction, but mysterious metal spiders gifted by the Adherents of the Repeated Meme to the other guests are secretly infiltrating and sabotaging the station.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Father’s Day

Synopsis

Pete Alan Tyler, the father of Rose and husband of Jackie, died on 7 November 1987, the day of Stuart Hoskins and Sarah Clark's wedding. Rose was just a baby at the time, Jackie told the young Rose that nobody was there for Pete when he died and that the hit-and-run driver was never found...

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Runaway Bride

Synopsis

Killer Santas, exploding baubles, an alien spaceship shaped like a giant star — Christmas with the Tenth Doctor is anything but a silent night...

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Gridlock

Synopsis

The Tenth Doctor takes Martha Jones to New Earth, in the far future, only to find that the entire city has become a deadly trap.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End

Synopsis

When Earth and twenty-six other planets are stolen and taken to the Medusa Cascade and the Doctor is nowhere in sight, it's up to the combined forces of UNIT, Torchwood, Sarah-Jane and Rose to fight off the thieves, who only have one thing to say to the resistance: "EX-TER-MIN-ATE!"

Propaganda

I will never get over the woman who thinks she's nothing being the most important person in the universe, and the huge loss she suffered immediately after. So bright and so dark at the same time. So much happiness and so much sadness. Excellently done 10/10 (NikMONSTER)

The Eleventh Hour

Synopsis

After a literally explosive regeneration, the brand new Eleventh Doctor survives a crash-landing to Earth. However, he has little time to recover. With a mysterious crack in a little girl's wall and a missing alien prisoner, the Doctor is in for an adventure. However, with the TARDIS damaged and the sonic screwdriver destroyed, can the Doctor capture the rogue alien before its jailers burn Earth to a crisp?

Propaganda

Omg i love this ep so much. It was the absolute perfect way to introduce the new doctor to the show; Matt had some big shoes to fill after David but he did so perfectly in this episode. All of the other doctors I had to get used to, and I especially thought I’d have to following my fav ten, but i immediately fell in love with 11 with this episode. I also feel like this was a great plot overall and I loved both Amy and Rory in it. (@lavenderlace16 )

The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone

Synopsis

The enigmatic River Song hurtles back into the Eleventh Doctor's life, but she's not the only familiar face returning — the Weeping Angels are back! Following River's calling card, the Doctor is recruited to help track down the last of the Angels, which has escaped from the Byzantium starliner and into the terrifying Maze of the Dead.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Amy’s Choice

Synopsis

It has been five years since Amy Pond last travelled with the Eleventh Doctor. However, when he arrives by accident and they have a reunion, Amy is left questioning what is real. Is she actually living with her husband Rory in Leadworth, 2015, or is she still travelling with Rory and the Doctor in the TARDIS? Which is real and which is fake? Dream or reality? Only one thing is clear: it's Amy's choice.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Doctor’s Wife

Synopsis

The Eleventh Doctor receives a message from an old Time Lord friend. The message brings him, Rory Williams and Amy Pond to another universe where they meet an alien who eats TARDISes.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Girl Who Waited

Synopsis

The Eleventh Doctor, Rory Williams and Amy Pond land on Apalapucia in the middle of a plague. Amy is left behind, and the Doctor and Rory must save her...but time for Amy is running at a different speed.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The God Complex

Synopsis

The Eleventh Doctor, Amy, and Rory investigate a hotel of horror where repeat business is low but the body count is high, where a mighty monster stalks the corridors and the rooms hold visions of angels, apes, and creepy clowns. Who — or what — has brought them to this place? Can the Doctor solve the mystery before the residents check out in grisly style?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Day of the Doctor

Synopsis

The Doctors embark on their greatest adventure in this 50th-anniversary special. In the 21st century, something terrible is awakening in London's National Gallery; in 1562, a murderous plot is afoot in Elizabethan England; and somewhere in space, an ancient battle reaches its devastating conclusion. All of reality is at stake as the Doctor's own dangerous past comes back to haunt him.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

#okay im upping the number in tie break groups from 10 to 12 #definitely not so one of my favourites #the girl who waited makes the cut #in fairness this is the first of round 3 #and i can change the rule between rounds #im voting for girl who waited #but I think father's day would be another worthy winner #or any of the 11th Doctor ones honestly #the only one that didn't get eliminated was against another 11th doctor #which as an 11th doctor enjoyer #devestating #and a little unfair #round 3 #tiebreak

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imthepunchlord · 2 years

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What exactly caused you to lose the rose-colored glasses for Tikki? Like was it one specific big thing or a bunch of small things?

It was a bunch of factors that I began to notice pile up, that were problematic and aggravating. And then it persisted, and in hindsight to seeing this, you got see a some red flags in the past episodes, even as far back as s1.

Biggest factor is that Tikki at the core is a mouth piece for the writers to criticize Marinette and her choices without offering REAL help and solutions. She's not even a true character and is more of an aggravation at this point. Biggest point to this is the fact that her criticism is EXCLUSIVELY to Marinette.

Given how much Tikki cares about how Marinette performs as a hero, to uphold her duty, and was the one to push secrecy; with how Adrien acts as a hero, you would think she'd be bothered by how he behaves as Chat Noir, and how he keeps pushing for a reveal and disrupting the hero work. Even pranking LB once during an akuma attack and messing up her Lucky Charm in Refleckdoll. Now, Adrien isn't her charge, but he IS getting in the way of her charge's duty and goal, and she should at least be getting onto Plagg about these issues. It'd be true to her character with how quick she is to get onto Marinette about things she doesn't liek. But the writers have a bias for Adrien and narrative wise, to them, he's not doing anything wrong.

Only Marinette does wrong. So Adrien gets to act as he wishes as a hero and face no consequences, leaving Marinette to struggle and step up.

This also extends to outside Adrien.

Take Gamer where Marinette had won fair and square in the competition, Tikki made a comment about her not being considerate to Max's feelings. Which like, it's a competition to see the best of the best. Max isn't being considerate about other's feelings. Why should Marinette prioritize other's feelings here when Max isn't?

And this just comes down to the idea the writers have that only Marinette can be wrong. Tikki's role here is to make sure we know Marinette is in the wrong.

Other issues is that Tikki is set up as a mentor figure and adviser/guide/conscious, but she doesn't truly do that. She's only here to call out or question and not offer help or solutions. To name a few:

Refleckta, she protests Marinette trying to sabotage Picture Day, but she doesn't elaborate on why this is bad or what Marinette can do alternatively to solve this issue of Juleka being excluded.

Antibug, where she's "advising" Marinette that she can help even not transformed, but she's not offering solutions to Marinette on how.

Another factor is that Tikki is not here to really help Marinette.

Take Frozer where Marinette is upset and confused and Tikki just asks "Why are you sad?" Why do you think she is???? Have you really not been paying attention? You're right there to witness it all.

Darkblade, she knows how much Marinette has on her plate, as someone going to school, who likes to create, and is a full time hero who is a MUST SHOW; yet pushes her to step up as class rep, piling more onto her plate and responsibility.

Bubbler, with her discouraging using the miraculous selfishly despite it would be helpful to Marinette if she was allowed to use it selfishly at times; which is extra aggravating as Adrien gets to use his ring selfishly.

Troublemaker, Marinette is having a break down but Tikki is acting like she's overreacting and should just be ok with this being how Adrien finds out about her crush.

You also got Tikki here to offer love advise, but later s4 ep takes a stance that kwamis don't fall in love so they can't really help; so that means she's aimlessly stringing Marinette along in romantic advise, not knowing if it'll really help or not.

Kuro Neko, allowing Plagg to deceive Marinette.

The little bit I've seen of s4 of Marinette with the kwamis, she's struggling to handle all the kwamis and Tikki isn't stepping up to help manage them despite Marinette getting very overwhelmed.

If you really want a specific moment, I'd say Frozer is where the rose glasses started to come off. Then I look at Tikki as a whole, how much does she really bring to Marinette's life as a character and presence. And she comes with a lot more stress and unhelpfulness. She's easily the most unlikable kwami out of them all.

A big part of that does stem from her being more of a mouthpiece than an actual character, but it doesn't make her any less aggravating to me.

#ask Punchie #tikki salt

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mikuni14 · 25 days

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Love is better the second time aroud - Ep 5

Miyata made this situation about himself and I hated it. What irritates me a lot about Miyata is that he creates an image of Iwanaga in his head alos that he doesn't listen to him. Miyata has created an image of Iwanaga and sees only things tha fit this image (including his own delusions and simple misunderstandings), and ignores what does not fit. I get it. Iwanaga's personality makes it very easy to attribute certain traits to him and accuse him of being uninvolved in his relationship, but Iwanaga also constantly gives signals that he cares, and most importantly, he TALKS about what he wants and what he feels.

All the scenes about Iwanaga's family issues were very telling, especially when he asks Miyata not to worry about them, when he calls him an outsider - because Miyata is an outsider after all and it's not an insult, it's a fact! And Miyata gets angry, taking it all personally, treating it as a rejection and an attack on himself. Likewise, his sense of guilt is telling: Iwanaga has NEVER acted as if he resented what happened in the past (which was a decions of BOTH OF THEM, and Miyata acts as if he himself brought all the misfortunes upon him), and now Iwanaga shows interest in him at every step, confesses his love, wants to be with him. However, Miyata CHOOSES Sugimoto's words to believe, not his boyfriend. Miyata CHOOSES his own story that he was the one who hurt Iwanaga, completely ignoring his feelings, words and choices. Miyata, as an adult, should know that he is not responsible for the behaviour of Iwanaga's mother, and that he is not responsible for what happened when they were both KIDS. Also he should know, that people don't want to talk about their painful past just like that, that they might need time, like seriously. Miyata made this whole situation about himself.

Which particularly irritates me, because Miyata has been a really nice character so far and for most of episode 5. I even liked him more than the charming Iwanaga 😎 Iwanaga seemed to me as a typical charming and seductive boy who, even if he has sincere feelings, is unable to convey them reliably, because his personality and behaviour make people doubt his determination, sincerity and commitment. But in episode 5, Iwanaga took some important, significant steps, such as declaring his love, proposing to live together, and there were several significant moments where Iwanaga was serious and vulnerable. Miyata was great for most of the episode: strong, not giving in to rumors and insinuations, supporting his beloved, standing on his side. But much of his behavior at the end seems strange, even cruel. I can't imagine the state of my heart if someone I love said nothing when asked by my sister if they loved me, right in front of me. Even if Miyata didn't want to answer, he could have just said it was a personal question or something. But he just went silent, it was terrible and humiliating. First this, and then "hey, let's break up, because you don't want to include me in your abusive family life story and I'm entitled to it". I'm not surprised at all that Iwanga didn't even try to fight for his relationship, hearing something like that and not hearing Miyata's verbal confirmation of his feelings.

The sight of Iwanaga waiting for Miyata's answer and not receiving it, and the fact that Iwanaga still saves him in this situation AND ALSO SAYS THAT IT'S OK BECAUSE HE LOVES HIM, AND MIYATA STILL BEING SILENT... 💀 And also how he feels self-pity, how he sits there so sad and Iwanaga COMFORTS him although he was hurt by Miyata just now, and also how he dramatically suggests breaking up and has the nerve to be surprised when Iwanaga agrees.. 💀 And the most annoying thing: a verbal declaration of love when no one hears it. You have no idea how much I wanted to smack Miyata at the end of this episode.

In general, the whole plot consists of people around Iwanaga who want something from him all the time and impose their will on him, play weird games and tricks around him, create his image in their heads and force him to fit into this image. Additionally, they claim that they know best what he wants and what he feels. I really felt like Miyata was forcing Iwanaga into things that he didn't feel comfortable with, and since Iwanaga isn't fierce (like Miyata), he can't show with his whole being that he's angry or feels bad, but he TALKS about it. Only Miyata DOESN'T LISTEN, he just creates scenarios and thinks about himself.

Also, this episode only highlighted the differences in communication between them, Iwanaga is always very nice, compliments Miyata, is polite, does not raise his voice. Miyata is rude and critical most of the time. It's ironic that Miyata doubts Iwanaga's feelings, because objectively it should be Iwanaga who doubts him seeing as how Miyata is constantly being mean to him and constantly fighting with him and questioning his words.

I liked this couple very much, but I must admit that this irritating lack of communication, making independent decisions in the relationship based on person's own ideas, and deciding to break up without discussing the problems really pissed me off. Breaking up for stupid, noble, whatever reasons, lack of communication, making decisions on your own, creating artificial scenarios about what is happening, attributing your own delusions to the other person, cruelty disguised as care and sacrifice, lack of awareness, that you might be hurting someone with your actions, words or silence - these are all things that ALWAYS ruin for me every couple, even the best.

I'm sorry for this rant 🥺 but somehow it irritated me so much lol Maybe it's because I really like this series and MLs and I'm disappointed because the characters so far have behaved logically - and what's important for me: like adults. That's why the end of the episode was like a grind in a story that had been well conducted so far. Unfortunately, their problems from their youth have been exactly copied now.

Miyata says that yes, Iwanaga claims to love him and wants to live with him, but IT IS NOT ENOUGH because he doesn't tell him about his family - a family that literally abandoned him. And because he calls Miyata like an outsider - except Iwanaga said that an outsider doesn't mean what Miyata thinks, but instead of listening to him, Miyata ignores his words. Iwanaga asks him not to deal with family issues for now, suggesting he will talk about it when he's ready. What is Miyata doing? Ignores the request. This makes me so angry.

Best moment: when Miyata is firmly on Iwanaga's side when he says he won't let ANYONE manipulate him. And Iwanaga's reaction 🥺:

Unfortunately, everything went wrong after that scene and Miyata seemed to forget how cool and protective he was like a minute ago...

#love is better the second time around #bl drama #japanese bl

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lililovesthings · 9 months

Text

How did I miss this??? (Part 2)

Now previously I said that I think these two have been together (and I mean TOGETHER together) for a very long time.

I have had some more thoughts/theories...they just keep coming and to be honest I'm not even sure where to start but I'll give it a go.

I do not expect anyone to read this but in all honesty, I just need to get it out. This has been going round in my head for a few days whilst I attempt to form it into a path of logical reasoning. I think I am there and there are holes but hopefully you lot can help me fill them in. So, get comfy, we might be here a while…

Assuming the meeting in Rome was a date...they have been doing this for a long time. Now at first they were extremely careful but over the centuries they became a little more brazen with being seen in public together, knowing what they could get away with. Again, nothing too obvious.

Now, many have been talking about the bookshop as a metaphor for Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship, but I think it's more than that. I shall explain:

Before I get into it, a few pieces of information that are relatively common knowledge and/or I have come across in my daily browsing (I can’t find where I saw all of them, so anyone please help):

Neil Gaiman has said that the scenes we see between Aziraphale and Crowley aren’t all the times they’ve met. This is just the meetings we see – which is understandable considering they’ve been on the planet for 6000 years.

Zira and Crowley evidently have some form of connection or awareness to their respective head offices. Even going so far as to know when they are being watched (S1, EP 6) just before they swap back.

We can all agree that there is almost nothing that is not there for a reason; details, easter eggs, acting choices, props, set etc.

We also know that the story is pretty much plotted out so it stands to reason that there will be a few story threads that go through all episodes, however subtly.

OK. So.

Aziraphale bought the bookshop in the 1700s, up until then where did they hang out? I'm thinking they were using the various 'rendezvous points' anyway regardless, we know Crowley has a flat but we also know that hell has a sort of direct line to it.

Anywhere is very open and somewhere they can be watched. Celestials have materialized inside the car, on the street, in the flat, even on the TV. The only place they never seem to materialize? The bookshop. Even Metatron came in through the front door (when he isn't a floating head summoned through a portal). note it has no TV and no radio if I remember. The only time any demons have materialised is at the end when Gabriel got his memories back. I believe that's because the demons were "invited" in earlier on.

Here's my point. The bookshop is their safe place, it's THEIR space. Remember we don't see everything, we haven't seen everything. Every time we see them, they are in a public place, with someone watching or in the bookshop...with the curtains open. And remember, they KNOW when they're being watched.

Allow me to draw your attention to Season 2, Episode 1. Crowley is already on the way to the bookshop when Zira calls him, and when they meet in the coffee shop he is rather confused as to why they aren't in the bookshop. (Then of course we have the whole naked man friend fiasco and Crowley's reaction to that...)

When they do go to the bookshop I noticed Crowley DOES NOT EVEN QUESTION WHY ZIRA IS CLOSING THE BLINDS. He has no idea Gabriel is there, (he just knows something about a naked man, which is another conversation). Now this suggests to me that this is something that is done often.

They go into the bookshop and have their 'us time'.

This also helps this make sense:

All lovers meetings would be in the bookshop. That was their space. Alone. Where no one was watching.

Now you may be thinking “We’ve seen them alone in the bookshop before when no one was watching and they weren’t behaving like a couple.” But someone was watching. WE were watching. And as we’ve established g-d only shows us what she wants us to see. She is telling the story.

I also think they have gotten so good at pretending in public that they have developed a code of sorts. For example, I think 'Breakfast/dinner at the Ritz' means something totally different.

They care for each other so deeply that they cannot stand putting each other in harms way.

They are celestial beings so their idea of love and relationships is something that is totally different and beyond the understanding of humans.

They saw Beelzebub and Gabriel be together openly in front of everyone and Zira grabbed Crowley’s arm. To me that is a very ‘familiar’ gesture. It’s saying ‘Look, they’re doing it. We can do that too.’ He then proceeds to look at Crowley with such loving adoration as if he cannot see any reason that they can’t be together openly and honestly.

Aziraphale then goes to coffee with Metatron whilst Crowley waits in the bookshop and tidies up. There is something strange about this. Throughout the time he is taking care of the bookshop whilst Zira is in Scotland, we see him chucking books all over the place. Even at the end we see him chuck a tray of food on the chair. So why is he tidying up now? – he tidies up because they are going to USE it.

He says, they are going to an ‘Extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz.’ So if they are not going to be at the bookshop, why would it matter if Muriel is there or if it’s tidy? They do need US time. It’s a euphemism, it’s code. “Breakfast at the Ritz”, “I’ll give you a lift”, “Waiting inside”.

This is why it shocks Crowley so much when Nina thinks they’re a couple. They think they have been hiding it so well for a VERY long time and he can’t believe that someone has thought that for real. Yes we have all done it and been on the receiving end when someone thinks you’re a couple and you aren’t, it happens. But Nina just flat out refuses to believe that they’re not.

That is when Crowley goes to the winebar. Zira asks him why he isn’t ‘waiting inside’ “You like waiting inside.” As in “We never have a date in public, they can see us.” Then Crowley explains it’s because Jim is in the bookshop but in reality it’s probably partly because he’s realised that they haven’t hidden it as well as they thought they did, so they may as well sit there.

That reaction when Shax says to Zira, that hes not Crowley’s type? Seriously, that is a very much a “That’s what you think.” look.

We are a group of the two of us and we’ve spent our existence pretending that we aren’t. – They really were pretending. He wasn’t talking about being in denial about their feelings for one another, he was literally saying they were PRETENDING not to be together. Now he wants everyone to know. He doesn't want to pretend anymore.

He thought Zira felt the same way until he told him about the whole 'going back to heaven' situation. Not sure how it would have gone if Crowley spoke first.

Aziraphale did not seem shocked by Crowley's confession. He already knows. What he doesn't understand is why he doesn't want to go to heaven.

Zira still believes in the fundamental goodness of heaven because he has nothing to compare it to. Crowley has been on both sides and knows they are both as bad as each other “Life on earth would be just as dead, if heaven ended it.” That’s is why Crowley wants so stay on earth or go away with Zira.

Zira wants to go with Crowley to heaven because as others have pointed out, that’s where he believes they will have the best life and be able to be together. Crowley knows different, he was cast out into a pool of boiling sulphur just for asking questions. So he walks away and says ‘good luck’. Zira has not had the same experience of heaven Crowley has, Crowley has experienced the worst of the universe on both sides and can’t live like that anymore.

So "You can't leave this bookshop" yes, indeed, as we have established means "Don't leave US."

We could have been ‘US’. But Aziraphale won’t see it. So Crowley does the only thing he can think of and kiss the love of his entire existence. Whilst they are being watched. That is why Aziraphale says ‘I forgive you’. It isn’t just an ‘I love you’ it’s an ‘I forgive you for telling them our secret.’ I forgive you for trying to change my mind.

More in Part 3...

#angel crowley #crowly x aziraphale #good omens #good omens spoliers #ineffable spouses #crowley #good ineffable omens #aziraphale #good omens analysis #good omens season 2 #aziracrow #aziracrow fanart

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myrddinmirror · 4 months

Text

The Lost Treasure Theory

A far-fetched detective investigation in ten parts. Conspiracies, secret places, mysterious signs… and a missing treasure.

Introduction

Let's imagine the first season as a heavy rock that stands firmly, and the third season as something that is hidden in the fog. The second season turned out to be strange, with many hints, vaguenesses, mirrors (in which everyone sees something different) and lines hanging in the air (some people call them Chekhov’s guns). I like to think of it as a wobbly rope bridge connecting the first season to the third. It is stretched over an abyss, at the bottom of which the sharp stones of fan kinks and fetishes await, it is strewn with glass shards of the spectator's hearts, and anyone who steps on it will inevitably slip on wet traces of tears of those who tried to pass here before. The wind of unbridled fantasies coming from the ocean of theories shakes this already unstable bridge, making the task of preserving the mental equilibrium and the ability to reason almost impossible for any impressionable traveler. My investigation rests on very ephemeral grounds, so I try to hold on as tightly as possible to the nearly invisible railing that Neil handed out for us. I cling to any available clue, trying not to fall into the abyss, and after each careful step I freeze for a while and catch my breath. Everything around is hidden in mist.

Part 1. Conspiracy

Let's take a closer look at the scene of Gabriel's trial (1).

-I see. You're casting me down to Hell. Well, I accept my fate. Sometimes an angel just has to say, "Guys, enough."

Gabriel is absolutely calm. This is not at all sudden for him. He was ready for the Fall and doesn't mind. Why? Because Beelzebub is waiting for him in Hell, everything is fine. Probably, the couple agreed in advance that they would not stay in Hell, but would immediately escape when they had no other choice.

-You are not going to Hell.

We look closely at the changing expression on Gabriel's face as the Metatron reads out his sentence.

He's nervous, he thinks fast. And judging by how quickly he figured out what to do, he's not as stupid as he seems. Or he already had a PLAN thought out in advance for such a case.

-These clothes are tailored. Can I keep wearing them?

It would seem that this is not the most relevant question right now. But he pursues several goals at once: a) to distract attention (see, I’m an idiot and only think about clothes) b) we know that he has a Fly in his suit c) he guesses that they will answer him, and he needs an excuse to materialize the Big Box and not arouse suspicion.

-Well, I'll just need to take off my clothes and clean out my desk, then. I'll be right back.

We can feel the relief in his voice and he smiles again. Now let's move on to the final conversation with Beelzebub (2).

-You. Thank you. -Silly, silly angel. Why? -I was coming to you, but… I… forgot.

Looks like they actually had a plan. Why does Beelzebub give him the Container Fly? They could not help but realize that sooner or later either their relationship would be detected, or he would be punished for refusing to start Armageddon. The fly was part of the plan. Most likely, "Thank you" was said precisely for this gift. But if Beelzebub assumed that Gabriel would reset his memory, then what does "Why" mean? Why did you come to the bookstore? Why didn't you come to me (as we agreed)? "I was going (was going to go) to you, but my memory was already in the fly, so I forgot where I had to go".

(1) 12:47 Ep.6 (2) 28:10 Ep.6

Part 2. The box is heavy - the box is empty

Naked Gabriel with a box in his hands walks down the street to the bookstore. We are clearly shown that he did not arrive in the elevator that materializes in the Dirty Donkey (1).

Is that a hint that he was somewhere else on Earth before he came to Soho? Let's remember. Let's fast forward to Gabriel's first conversation with Aziraphale (2):

-My arms were aching 'cause I had to carry that box for so long.

Where he was? Why did his hands hurt? One fly doesn't hurt anyone's hands. One fly doesn’t need a BIG box. At first, I had the idea that someone stole "the thing" from the box while it was outside the store door, but this is not the case. If one looks closely at how Gabriel carries it one can see that he barely holds it in his palms (3).

Later he throws it at the front door (4) and it is quite obvious that it is empty and light. Well, let's move on to Gabriel's escape from Heaven (5):

14:50 - he puts a matchbox with a fly in an empty box, leaves the box under the camera and goes somewhere 15:07 - he is undressed and carries the box easily (i.e. it is still empty, so he did not put his clothes in there, for example) 15:10 - he is in front of the elevator, reaching for a matchbox with a fly (his memory is still with him), and the box already seems heavy, he has to hold it by the bottom.

He pulls the fly out, losing the matchbox. 15:18 - he is in the elevator, elbowing the Earth button. He's holding the box with both hands, and he's gripping it with his fingers because it's obviously HEAVY.

While he is going down in the elevator, his memory resets, since Saraqael does not see him on Earth. 15:32 - it turns out that Gabriel does not have a desk, so he could not take anything from it. Whatever he put in the box is not his personal belongings. So he took something, then forgot about it, then… lost it?

(1) 14:18 Ep.1 (2) 19:00 Ep.1 (3) 14:08, 14:30 Ep.1 (4) 14:57 Ep.1 (5) Ep.6

Part 3: Insurance and a Reliable Plan

So what the Archangel took was not his personal item and hardly a souvenir. It’s something really important. Realizing that with the memory cleansing he would essentially lose himself, Gabriel had to take something to protect him. What about emergency insurance? In case you get caught? Crowley, if you remember, had holy water as an insurance against Hell - a demon-threatening thing that can both save and destroy. What could be so useful and possibly so terrible to other angels that Gabriel could take with him? It could be either a very powerful artifact, or it could be an important dossier, like compromising someone from the Archangels. There is a lot to speculate about, but let’s start with the fact that, as in a good detective, authors always give the viewer some clue. What is so important, so significant in the series that you might consider a good prize for an Archangel on the run? I think you have already guessed that I mean the Book of Life. Gabriel and Beelzebub had a great plan. They were supposed to meet secretly while they could, and then run off with the Book. If Gabriel had been brought down to Hell, it would have been easy, and in case of force majeure, he had a fly. It is obvious that both the Archangel and the Prince of Hell are well aware of the punishment of erasing the memory. A fly is a container for memory, a gift that matters. Of course, the plan did not involve any bookstore. Who in their right mind would entrust themselves and the Book of Life to the "traitor" whom you just recently ordered to be killed? It is also obvious that it would be very unwise for a naked Archangel with a big box to take the elevator down to the hall of Hell. Therefore, the plan was very simple: Gabriel gets to a familiar bar in Scotland, Beelzebub learns about his disappearance and goes there. Then they go off into the sunset together. Happy End. However, in the world of Good Omens, nothing can go according to plan. As they say, watch your hands. The Almighty again lays out three cards. And now the boy… I mean, the Book is lost, and the fugitive is missing. How did this happen? Let's think about what Gabriel had left when the fly reset his memory in the elevator. He still has an idea of himself ("I’m me. I just don’t know who me is") and he still has his angelic powers. Angels can feel love. He forgot Beelzebub, forgot the bar, and when you don’t remember anything, you get instincts. Angels have no instincts, so he was led by a sense of love. Very strong, truly great. He might have ended up in Tadfield, but Adam is still powerful(1), so Tadfield is closed to outsiders. And where else in Britain there is a knock-down love? We all know where (2). Gabriel came to the bookstore, Aziraphale, whom he vaguely remembered (3), opened the door, and for lack of a better one, the Archangel thought that it was him he was going to (4). An ordinary cock-up, as Crowley would say.

(1) 10:37 Ep.1 Crowley sits on a bench reading the Tadfield Advertiser. On the first page is a large article "According to voters of latest: "Best Village in England" poll Tadfield really is the loveliest place to live." And on the blue background: "Entirely perfect weather AGAIN for Tadfield".

(2) 20:25 ep.1 "You’re funny. I love you." A farting song emerged from the overfed zombie, and confessions emerged from Gabriel. Overflowed, too much love. (3) 14:57 Ep.1 "Hey you!" (4) 17:07 Ep.1 -You don't recognize me? -No. Sorry. -Then… why did you come to my shop? -I don't know. I just thought I should. You know what it's like when you don't know anything at all, and yet you're totally certain that everything would be better if you were just near one particular person? … I had to come here and give you the thing.

Part 4. Lying or not?

I’m no brain scientist, but when Gabriel comes to the bookstore, he’s acting like a real memory-loss person. You believe that he doesn’t know who he is, where he is, or what he’s doing here. He has the reactions and behavior of a curious child. At the same time, he has a vague sense of anxiety, as well as a vague sense of recognition of Aziraphale, and it all seems quite natural. However, at some point I began to think Gabriel was lying. To begin with, he suddenly stopped having questions, he no longer asks: who am I? How do you know me? Who are you? What the hell is going on here? A person who has lost his memory is only interested in bookselling and gravity, seriously? Review the episodes listed. Don’t you think the same as I think?

-And now I will make a noise when I move around (1).

He is the outspoken troll of Aziraphale, grins and walks away, very pleased with himself, it is clear. Not a child, but a smug bastard.

Aziraphale talks to the Archangels on the street in front of the bookstore (2). The door swings open and Gabriel appears, loudly and joyfully declaring that he is Jim, the bookseller's assistant. Why would a memory-losing person who knows he’s in danger of something terrible, rush out into the street so loudly in front of strangers? Maybe because this is Gabriel-with-memory, who, of course, recognized the visitors, realized that a hidden miracle of great power had been created, and now just checks the boundaries? When the miracle passes the final test (Michael does not recognize Gabriel at point-blank range), he mocks the angels:

-What about me? Uh, guys, shouldn’t you keep a close eye on me too?

Typical Gabriel's insolence and self-confidence.

There is an idea that you cannot punish an angel outside of Heaven. After all, in the first season, Aziraphale had to be kidnapped first and then executed. This means that Gabriel, who has regained his memory, must realize that on Earth, with all his powers, he is practically invulnerable. This is indirectly confirmed in episode 6, when representatives of Hell and Heaven demand that the escapees be handed over to them. It would seem, here they are, punish on the spot. With humans, by the way, there is no such problem, only Crowley’s intervention saves Maggie and Nina from immediately turning into salt pillars. But maybe Gabriel is just a very brash son of a bitch.

There are also more obvious signs that the fugitive is okay in the head:

You can't fool Crowley that easily (3). He listens very carefully to Gabriel’s nonsense and says:

-Ah, you can do better than that. Come on, think! Think hard!

I think at this point, the Archangel realizes it’s better not to push Crowley, he "shines" his eyes and pop out a biblical phrase. Think about it, if ALL his memory is in a fly, where did this piece come from? Well, the trick was a success, and they are leaving him behind.

The prophecy of the Second Coming (4) is coming out of Gabriel. Is this a conscious attempt to warn? Or a random trigger on the word "tempest"? The only thing that’s clear is he’s got his memory back.

Conversation with Crowley (5):

-You have no idea of trouble you’re causing, do you? -No. Or yes. Or… no. -Year. I’ll tell you something Jim, or Gabriel. If any harm comes to Aziraphale because of this, I will…

And Gabriel is listening. VERY carefully. And he looks like he understands everything.

Crowley arrives in the Archangel’s room (6). The demon openly attacks. Gabriel is frankly nervous. When Crowley says that Aziraphale was not at the execution, Gabriel surprisingly asks "He wasn’t there?". Not the kind of reaction you’d expect from someone who doesn’t know what you’re talking about, is it? And it’s no less strange when Gabriel almost jumps out of a second-floor window. For a person, with or without memory, these are guaranteed injuries (the floor is high, and the bottom is asphalt), and the act is absolutely senseless. The archangel is not in any danger of such a jump, but it is a great way to avoid a very unpleasant conversation. Crowley then demands that Gabriel remember. He replies:

-I don’t have my memory. -Well, where is your memory, then? -In a matchbox. No, I took it out, first. And I put it in the box and brought it here. And it’s everywhere.

First, how do you know all this? Second, what do you mean, everywhere? It’s not in the fly anymore? You don’t want to admit you already got it back, do you?

I have an idea why the memory (partially) might have leaked back into Gabriel's head. And also why he’s not in a hurry to get away from the store when Heaven is already on his heels.

(1) 06:25 Ep.2 (2) 12:45 Ep.2 (3) 20:54 Ep.2 (4) 38:45 Ep.3 (5) 41:35 Ep.3 (6) 14:20 Ep.5

Part 5. Memory Leak

If we consider ourselves sufficiently convinced that the Archangel is no longer as unconscious as he wants to appear, we will have to look for some moment when his memory may have returned. The first assumption. Several times we see that Gabriel tried to catch the fly, and that it often circles around him. The interaction with it may have caused a partial leak, but we’re not seeing any specific episode. Second assumption. It was a side effect from "the tiniest, most insubstantial, fractional, half a miracle". The chair Gabriel was sitting on was on a portal to Heaven. Crowley, Gabriel, and Aziraphale were holding hands, and the miracle was directed at the Archangel, so that a huge power passed right through him. I mean, some kind of electroshock therapy. And immediately after the miracle there was such a dialogue (1):

Aziraphale: Good news, Jim. Nobody’s going to notice you. You’re safe here. Crowley: While we figure out what’s actually going on. Gabriel: I think I know what’s going on.

And I think your memory is partially coming back to you, but you really need to keep it a secret.

In Ep.6 we see what memories actually return to Gabriel from the fly, and there is nothing about the Beginning nor about 6000 years of service as the Supreme Archangel, and only briefly the events of the Armageddon't (2). Gabriel truly remembers only the most dangerous, most well-encrypted moments of his life - his relationship with Beelzebub. Everything about their feelings and the alleged conspiracy, including the theft of the artifact. Why did he not leave the bookstore? Because he did not remember the reasons why Heaven sought him, he did not remember Beelzebub. But he knew that he was in some terrible danger. And where should he run? Here he is protected, cared for - but only as long as he pretends to be a helpless fool. However, there is one thing that is so powerful in itself that it affects Gabriel even when he has forgotten about it. The Book.

(1) 41:50 Ep.1 (2) Of course, maybe this doesn’t matter, the authors just didn’t have enough timing, but we agreed at the beginning that we would consider the script well thought out, right? If it is written poorly, then such theories make no sense at all.

Part 6. Hide a tree in the forest

So, it’s not even matter if Gabriel remembers something about his previous life or not. The catch is that the Book disappeared between the memory erasing in the elevator and his appearance in the bookstore (i.e. this piece is not recorded in the fly), and this period remained with Gabriel only in the form of vague sensations. He carried the box somewhere for a long time, his hands hurt… the rest is unknown. When the Archangel walked along Whickber Street, the box was already empty, so there is no Book in the store. However, if you don’t know or remember this detail, you might think it’s there. It’s a very logical decision to hide a book among books, right? And guess what? There are at least three person looking for the book in the series, and all three of them think Aziraphale has it somewhere. The trap of the obvious. Let’s start with Gabriel. Yes, he doesn’t remember it, but he’s looking for it. I don’t know why. Perhaps it would be appropriate here to recall Octavo (1) and other Terry Pratchett grimoires with the ability to strangely influence people. There are two things in the series that indirectly indicate this search. First of all, a very strange thing Gabriel found himself doing in the store: placing books by the first letter of the first word in the first sentence (2). Occupation, at first glance, the most absurd. But! Aziraphale’s permission allows Gabriel to open all the books without raising any question or suspicion. He doesn’t remember what the Book of Life looks like, but he obviously recognizes it when he starts reading. The second point is the dialogue about gravity (4). Yes, here again, we’re paying attention to the fly, but at the beginning it’s about the books not staying where Gabriel puts them. Maybe it’s a hint like, "I remember putting the book in the box, but now it’s gone, where could it have gone?"

(1) Octavo - A Magic Book that the Creator himself has forgotten on Discworld. It contains the Eight Great Spells, which have their own consciousness and are designed to help the Discworld in important situations. The book is located in a specially sealed room in the basement of the Unseen University's library chained to a lectern, for safety of the browsers, not the book. The wizard Rincewind who had once accessed the Book, read it, and one of the Spells, the Change Spell, settled in him, preventing Rincewind from ever learning any other magic. (2) 06:05 Ep.2 -What exactly are you doing? -I thought I'd make the books easier to find, so I thought if I put them in alphabetical order… -By author? -What's "author"? (3) No, I was shelving the books by the first letter of the first sentence. (3) He really may not know this, because the only book he knows has an obvious "author". (4) 16:17 Ep.3 Gabriel drops the book on the table. Crowley says it's gravity, it needs things to stay where they are ("So things would stay where you put them, not just drift off".) -But it doesn't stay where I put them. It goes down (5). Except for flies, they go up. (5) It is still possible to speculate a little bit that the book dangling in space near Crowley when he launched the nebulae was the Book of Life, and it certainly did not fall anywhere. This idea is interesting because it could suddenly take off in the third season if Neil decides to somehow develop the plot about the Book.

Part 7. Saraqael

The second investigator is Saraqael. She’s the head of Heaven’s security, an angel who needs to know everything but prefers to stay in the shadows. She is so underhanded that Gabriel has difficulty remembering her name (1). I believe that she was the one who provided the compromising images of Aziraphale from the Earth in the first season. And unlike the other Archangels, she immediately recognized the Metatron in human form (2) .

Neil wrote (3) that Saraqael does some secret things in the second season, and is also an angel you do not want to mess with. I would point out that it is she who executes the sentences like erasing memory or turning humans into salt pillars, i.e. she has real power and authority in Heaven. We are not shown what "secret things" Saraqael does, which means that it is not about some covert actions per se, but about motives. The secret motive is to find the lost Book of Life without anyone in Heaven or Hell knowing it was missing. Besides, the Book’s disappearance is extremely enough to force her out of the shadows. Saraqael doesn’t seem to believe for a second that Aziraphale himself performed a powerful miracle, and it is she who sends to him an inspector, and in fact a spy: a naïve angel who sniffs out at the bookshelves all the time. It is possible that Muriel reporting to Saraqael separately on everything that’s going on in the bookstore. When Crowley sneaks into Heaven, Saraqael spots him, but doesn’t stop him. Why? Because she’s running a similar investigation herself, and it is extremely important to her that the insightful demon notices something interesting. Much more important than just turning on the alarm. Saraqael prefers to keep her mouth shut for the last general conversation, but she listens very carefully to what others have to say, and I think she will give us more surprises in the third season.

(1) 27:52 Ep.6 (2) from 34:00 Ep.6 (3) answering questions

Part 8. The Metatron

It will be very funny if in the third season it turns out that the Voice of the Almighty all this time was the only positive character from the side of Heaven all along and sincerely wished good to our angel and demon. In the meantime, we can assume he’s the third investigator on the missing artifact. No proof, of course, but there are some observations. The Metatron, entering the bookstore, hears Michael's threats to erase Aziraphale from the Book of Life and gets very, very angry (1). It can be assumed that it was precisely the words about the Book that enraged him, and not about the actual powers of Michael, because in fact, she really is now performing the duties of the Supreme Archangel. What if the overreaction is caused by the fact that he is aware of the loss and absolutely does not want to draw attention to the Book once again? By shutting Michael up and sending the angels to Heaven, he shuts down the discussion about the Book before it even begins. He asks Muriel to stay ("except the dim one"), saying: "I may need you". That is, at this point he is not yet sure that his plan will work. Of course there is a plan. Many say that the Metatron thought to separate Aziraphale and Crowley, because on Earth they are said to be a danger to Heaven. And supposedly he was sure that Crowley would refuse the offer. But isn’t it much more dangerous to give Aziraphale enormous power? What if Crowley agreed? No one set the condition that there is only one attempt. What if the demon suffers a few days alone and changes his mind? Since the Metatron was watching Aziraphale, and he openly mentions it (2), then he must know that Crowley ALWAYS returns to the angel. So, it seems to me, the plan was exactly the opposite: to drag them both to Heaven, where firstly they would be under constant control, and secondly, they would have neither the time nor the opportunity to endlessly wander around the store. It is for this case that the "naïve" Muriel is needed, who, as it turns out, just successfully addicted to reading books (3). She remains the "caretaker" of the bookstore, but at the same time she can carry out a "stocktaking", and no one will ask why she is scouring the shelves so diligently? When the Metatron returns for Aziraphale and discovers that Crowley has refused, he seems more vexed than satisfied (4). And then he asks: "Anything you need to take with you?" and glances quickly towards the bookshelves. When the angel answers "No", he makes a strange sound (5). I think this could be a test - does Aziraphale know something about the Book, is he hiding it in the store? Maybe he will somehow give himself away now? No? Well, we'll look without you. There is one more thought. As the Metatron takes Aziraphale away to talk, he glares at Crowley (6). Many have decided that he has something personal against the demon. Perhaps, but we have not yet been shown anything that could serve at least a hint of reason. But if we assume that the Voice of God is looking for the Book, and Crowley is one of the few who knows what it looks like, because with its help he "launched" the Universe (7) (not the fact that this is the same Book), then the look becomes clear: the Metatron may fear that the demon has pocketed it or is ready to pocket it for himself on occasion.

(1) 33:56 Ep.6 -You're talking utter balderdash. I mean, complete piffle! You don't have the authority to do anything like that. … Right, you, you, you, back to Heaven, spit, spot, not another word. (2) 42:28 Ep.6 (3) 40:23 Ep.6 -What's that you're holding, Muriel? -I'm reading a book. -Excellent! What a perfectly splendid thing to do! (4) 47:47 Ep.6 (5) 48:19 Ep.6 (6) 36:14 Ep.6 (7) 01:13 Ep.1

Part 9. Secret place

Do you remember in Part 3 of this theory, three cards were mentioned on the Almighty’s gaming table? The first card is a bar with a jukebox in Edinburgh, a secret rendezvous between Gabriel and Beelzebub, a place where the conspiracy was ripe and where the memory-deprived Archangel with the heavy box was likely to come. The second card is a bookstore in Soho, a place of strong love, where the Book could be so safely hidden if someone brought it there. And now the time has come to reveal the last card - the place where, perhaps, the Book of Life was actually hidden. I’ll start a bit from afar. As Gabriel drank hot chocolate on the first day of the rest of his life, he said to Aziraphale:

-I'm me. I just don't know who me is. But you know me. You recognized me. -I know someone who LOOKS like you. -That's probably me then. I think that's one of the main ways you can tell (1).

I think you know where I’m going with this. There’s one place on Earth Gabriel loves more than anything else combined. The place where he spent his hours admiring (2) what he held most dear in the world. If an angel can be attracted by a feeling of intense love, then, of course, for Gabriel it will first of all be a monument to himself in the Edinburgh graveyard. It’s scary to imagine how many total years he spent there. An egoist and a narcissist, to whom could he entrust the most powerful and dangerous artifact? Obviously, only to himself. The statue is mentioned 3 times in the series (3). And it's also in the opening credits. I don’t believe that all this is just for the sake of one joke against Gabriel. In part 4 of the theory, which talked about the possible restoration of the fugitive Archangel's memory, or at least about some flashes of enlightenment, I deliberately kept silent about one more episode. It happened at the moment when Aziraphale called Crowley from Edinburgh right from that very graveyard and happily reported on the hard work done. Among other things, he said, "Do you remember the statue of Gabriel in the graveyard? I’m looking at it now." An unnecessary detail, what does it have to do with the bar? None, but Gabriel heard these words, and we are shown how he, seemingly in deep thought or even in a stupor, suddenly reacts (4). Does it really matter? God knows. Now you have to ask: but we don’t see any Book at the statue, where exactly could Gabriel have put it? We are given two clues. First: the statue either has a large cross in its hands, or it doesn’t.

Given that the statue is not CGI and the props were installing it in the graveyard, there’s very little chance it’s a mistake. It looks like a sign. Just look at this:

Cross marks the location of buried treasures, right? There is a second clue. We’ll talk about that in the final part of the investigation.

(1) 16:46 Ep.1 (2) 24:45 Ep.6 (3) First time in 1827: Crowley showed it to Aziraphale (09:01 Ep.3). Second time: Aziraphale comes to Edinburgh to investigate (34:03 Ep.3). Third time: Gabriel showed it to Beelzebub (Ep.6). (4) 35:20 Ep.3

Part 10. Ben Gunn

In one of the posters for the series, Treasure Island is in a stack of books to read.

If you remember, there was a map with a cross. But when the pirates arrived at the designated place, the treasure was gone. Some clever guy (by the way, "retired" by his side) solved the puzzle, dug up and hid the valuable prize. We know that Aziraphale (our "retired pirate") is brilliant smart. Not knowing why the fugitive Archangel was in danger, he could draw his conclusions from the facts he had. So, Gabriel has a box in which he carried something heavy for a long time. He is in danger from Heaven - for what? Because he stole something very valuable. Jim looks with frightening enthusiasm at the books in the store, strange for the Archangel, who earlier called a book just a "material object" (1), right?

Knowing what artifacts are in Heaven, it is not difficult to deduce what was in the box. Further, having analyzed the dialogue with Gabriel ("I’m me"), knowing his love for himself, remembering the statue (namely, one of the most exciting episodes in Aziraphale’s life began with it) and getting a CLUE in the form of a song from the Edinburgh bar (the statue is located right there!) the angel only had to go and check his hunch. We have a hint. When Aziraphale leaves the Bentley in Edinburgh, he has a briefcase (2). What could he have stored in it? He puts a pen and a notebook in his pocket. From his pocket he also takes out a portrait of Gabriel (the briefcase is on the floor at this time). Aziraphale didn't spend the night at a hotel and doesn't need a change. Apparently the briefcase was empty. The angel leaves the bar with a briefcase and we never see it again. And so he stands at the graveyard and looks at the statue. He looks strange, thinking about something (3).

Why did he come here? This place has nothing to do with the bar and the song. He could have called Crowley from any other location. Showing a moment of nostalgia is very expensive for extremely limited screen time. Therefore, all this has a separate meaning. By the way, at this moment there is a cross on the statue, but there is no briefcase with Aziraphale (4).

But it seems there is a FRESH HOLE in the ground right next to the statue (5). That second clue.

Well, here’s the thing: Aziraphale found the Book, took it, put it in the briefcase and hid it on the same graveyard in a crypt we know. Exactly the same way as Ben Gunn hid the treasure, moving it from the original location to the cave. The crypt is the perfect hiding place. No one knows about it (except the Masons?), but it is a very memorable place for Crowley (the demon immediately recalls the story of Wee Morag as soon as Aziraphale SPECIFICALLY mentions the surgeon). It is extremely dangerous to take the Book to London: the Archangels are trampling around the bookstore, and on his way to Edinburgh, Shax broke into the car. Right now neither the angel nor the demon needs the Book, but it is easy to take away if needed (6). I have no doubt that Crowley KNOWS where the Book actually is. This alone explains his absolute calm when Michael proceeds to a direct threat to immediately apply the "Extreme Sanctions" (7). And the Metatron, who at that moment enters the bookstore, sees and hears everything.

He can't help but realize that both Crowley and Aziraphale KNOW. That’s one of the reasons why he’s so alarmed and casts such a stiff stare at Crowley, who is calmly lounging in a chair. He knows, but he can't do anything yet. The big game is just beginning.

(1) 00:48 S1Ep.2 (2) 21:22 Ep.3 (3) 34:02-34:08 Ep.3 (4) 36:37 Ep.3 (5) 36:54 Ep.3 (6) Neil mentioned that Aziracrow can move between locations by miracle, they just don’t like to do it because they’re used to imitating people. (7) 33:41 Ep.6

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens theory #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable fandom #goodomens #gomens #gomens 2

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backjustforberena · 4 days

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I do find it funny how they say that Rhaenys always bends to Corlys will when his ass didn’t even want to join the war and only joined because she basically told him to. It’s a relationship lol. It ebbs and flows. The only time we’ve genuinely seen them disagree in course of action was in ep 7. Idc what anyone says but refusing that marriage proposal when Viserys hurled his dying ass across the sea would’ve been impossible.

So ok, he overruled her on the succession argument ( which I’m sorry technically he can because it’s his house and name) and then he didn’t want to join the war and she was like “nah we’re pulling up lol”. That’s super balanced so like how is she hypocritical?

H answers questions that have been in her inbox for far too long.

IT IS A RELATIONSHIP. IT DOES EBB AND FLOW. IT'S CALLED COMMUNICATION. SHE'S NOT HYPOCRITICAL.

With grace, I can vaguely assume why some people think there is a power imbalance. Just on a surface level. But I also think that those people are not willing or haven't actually considered the scenes and the dynamics that they are watching or the context of when these sorts of remarks are made, either.

Criticisms I've seen have generally gone along the lines of: she didn't want Viserys to marry Laena, but Corlys pushed her, she didn't want Laenor to marry Rhaenyra, Corlys pushed her and she didn't want Lucerys to be the heir, but Corlys overruled her. Very, very basic readings of what happens, with no more depth than that. For me, I can see how not only are those very, very different examples and moments, but they are also not examples of Rhaenys bowing down the whims of her husband. Just because she is not the active participant does not mean she is not a willing participant.

My main frustration with this sort of reading, certainly with the first and second examples that I've listened (the third is an outlier due to Corlys's monopoly on the subject), is that it dumbs down Rhaenys's complexity, cruelty and frustrated ambition. It also takes away her agency and her equality with her husband. I've said before how I view her perspective to not be against either move, but simply more realistic.

She's not going to cheer Laena marrying Viserys but she is going to stand by side with her husband and say that it's the strongest match Viserys can make. She can want that match and that marriage and still be a bit bothered by it. The two can live together and probably do. To her, this is how the world works, especially at that point in her life. So, of course, she's going to be present in that decision and advocating for that course of action.

And again, she's not going to be jumping up and down about Laenor matching with Rhaenyra because there's danger in the match as much as there is achievement. But, nevertheless, she's standing side by side, nodding and giving her agreement. She can still be seduced by the idea of elevating her children and wearing a fabulous frock and sticking it to Viserys, and take some satisfaction in her cousin having to beg. She doesn't actually express a wish to veto the betrothal. She just says that she's worried about the dangers of Rhaenyra's succession.

Her powerlessness against the "system" that she buys into and props up is not the same as her being powerless against her husband. By which I mean that, her acknowledging the negative impact of these political choices is not taking away the fact that she is making them alongside Corlys. He is at the forefront because he has to take the lead as a man. Not because he's having to drag her along with it all. It's a reflection of their reality rather than their relationship, if that makes sense?

In short: in political decisions and in public, Rhaenys plays second fiddle because she's a woman, not because Corlys forces it to be that way. These are deals for Corlys to make as Head of House Velaryon. He is on the front-foot, he is the public political power in their marriage because that's how society works. In other words, it's actually pretty redundant to analyse that because it's just... normal.

What isn't normal is that Rhaenys is side-by-side with him. That he values her opinion. That she speaks. That Corlys and Rhaenys often share looks and silent communication: most notably when it comes to the betrothals of their children. There is real implication that these two have spoken, at length, about these choices and come to a united decision about it. How else can they present such a united front to their adversaries?

We don't see Rhaenys and Corlys speak privately about Laena. We barely see them talk privately about Laenor. And with the succession thing, as you say, it's his name and his house. She has no power to meddle in that succession. She cannot declare the succession for Driftmark on her own. That's not in her gift.

And again, as you say, she yells at him, tells him to get his ass in gear and they go down and declare for Rhaenyra because that is what she wants to do. That is what she thinks is right and so he is doing it for her. It's clear as day when he looks at her and she smiles at him and Rhaenyra thanks her because she's painfully aware that Rhaenys is the one who made it happen.

Rhaenys's just never toiled in "service to men". Has she been affected and degraded by the patriarchy? Yes! Big yes! They took her birthright from her. They made her roleless in a society she should have been running. But she doesn't toil to Corlys. She has never toiled to Corlys. To say so is a degradation to their marriage, quite frankly.

And it's a degradation to the awareness that Rhaenys has of the political structure around her and the agency she exerts and free will surrounding her own mind and choices. She does things that prop up the patriarchy. Yes. All the women do. She definitely does things that, in an ideal world, she wouldn't have to do. But she does that because it suits her own interests at the time. Never because a man told her to. And never to the detriment of herself and her safety and her sanity. It's always her choice. For good or ill.

#house of the dragon #rhaenys targaryen #hotd meta

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microcomets · 2 months

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can i ask for your thoughts on the netflix atla adaption? 👉👈 value ur opinion on media

aw, thank you!!! i admit i'm only halfway through watching s1, so my opinions may change as i reach the end of the season, but i can outline some of my thoughts so far!

pros:

overall, with a few exceptions, i think the casting so far is really solid. the asian and indigenous representation within the show is something they clearly took very seriously, and it shows! especially for a netflix show, that's something really groundbreaking and important and refreshing to see; and obviously a huge improvement on past whitewashed adaptations. overall, i think most of the effects are good, despite some weird cinematography choices — there are a handful of moments where the CGI looks particularly egregious, but overall, the bending and choreo look COOL. the opening scene of the pilot had me by the throat, even as it made very clear what a different kind of adaptation this would be. overall, i tend not to be too fussy about an adaptation altering things from originals to make more sense in different formats (with caveats, as i'll mention in the cons lol), so i wasn't mad about the way they've fused some of the storylines to make it flow better in a 60-minute format. (although i do question bringing in s2 stories so early, such as the secret tunnel.) there have been some moments where they've either built out character relationships (like zuko and iroh) or brought in supplementary canon from korra and the comics, which i have also enjoyed as a huge fan of the original. there are a few additions that i've really loved and had fun with — zuko's dream journal, for one, lmao, and his and aang's street fight in omashu.

cons:

honestly, my biggest gripe so far has been the alterations to characterization and character motivation. the cast and crew were sort of smugly talking about removing misogyny from the original and "updating" it, which is ironic because i think the live action is actually more sexist in many ways.

my BIGGEST disappointment has been katara, with no shade to the actor. this is one of the characters who means the most to me from the original, and the character that has hands-down been the least recognizable in natla. her fire, her temper, her unruliness, and her bossiness — all to say, her human traits — have been completely sanitized, presumably to avoid drawing any kind of criticism that she's "annoying." her anger is quite literally what kickstarts the entire show: katara losing her temper with sokka cracks open the iceberg that releases aang. katara's anger is, in a lot of ways, an outlet not only for her sense of injustice in the world, but also an outlet for coping with 1) immense colonial trauma and 2) the burden of being parentified. this, in my view, is IMPORTANT for young girls and particularly young girls of color to see — that anger doesn't have to be something you shy away from, but that you can embrace as a weapon of resistance. this anger is missing entirely, except in small snatches, from natla katara. the moments that make katara a flawed, interesting character — such as her stealing the waterbending scroll and getting jealous of aang's natural prowess — have been scrubbed completely. it is nearly impossible, at this point, to imagine this version of katara bloodbending or taking vengeance for her mother in s3. i think the re-characterization is a big misstep, due more to poor writing than anything. even the agency of katara's bending is "unlocked" and coached by male characters like aang (ep 1) and jet (ep 3), when katara is supposed to be the one teaching aang!

the inversion of sokka and katara's relationship — that is to say, parentifying sokka and making katara more of a "little sister" figure — is also a huge misstep IMO, because it misses a lot of the characterization fundamental to katara's arcs in the original, and even her later conflicts with other characters like toph. in s3 in the original, sokka says when he pictures his mother, he can only picture katara's face — this is, again, a central aspect to their dynamic and to katara's character! my guess is that they removed katara's overmothering qualities to avoid accusations of being anti-feminist, but ironically, by not acknowledging that in-text the way the original does, it bakes misogyny unspokenly into the atla world rather than explicitly acknowledging and challenging it. to clarify again, i have NOT seen the end of the season yet — i am curious what they do with katara's confrontation with paku, which is one of the biggest grapplings with misogyny in the original text. but for me, removing katara's motherly qualities/parentification, and above all her unsavory traits, are not accomplishing anti-sexist work the way the writers think they're doing, but rather sanitizing the original's social commentary on gender altogether.

one of my biggest squicks thus far has been suki and sokka's relationship; i saw suki's characterization described by someone here as a farmer girl p*rn trope where a naive village waif looks to a man to show her the outside world, or w/e, and i hate that this is what they did to suki's character. they keep her warrior qualities, yes, but this is undercut for me by the cringe comphet romance tropes of making her a wide-eyed blushing virgin around sokka. the insta-romance in the original makes more sense to me, obviously because of the format, but because in the span of 20 minutes, suki has taught sokka what it is to respect and reevaluate his relationship with women and femininity. the writers bragged about removing this from the natla representation, so what we have now is that suki doesn't really teach sokka anything substantial about himself, other than some moves. rather, it's sokka teaching suki about what it is to be "worldly" and how to unlock carnal desires. tbh, i hate that! lol! but that's just my onion.

zuko has been one of the strongest and most well-acted characterizations by far, but i do have a gripe with how they shifted his primary motivation from regaining his honor to reclaiming the throne. zuko at his essence has never been a power-hungry character. his entire drive, as we are told exhaustively through both the show and memes of the original, is regaining his honor — which is also an important cultural trope for many japanese warrior characters (though others not me can speak far more in-depth to this). his search for lost honor is incredibly important, if not central, to his entire character arc, which is zuko discovering that his honor does not come by acknowledgement from his abusive family or even imperial power, but through his own integrity and ethical code. so to have him make several lines about rightfully regaining what's his, the throne, and to make that the primary point of contention between him and azula.....is a misunderstanding, again, of the crucial aspects of zuko's character.

my other nitpicks with the characters are smaller — i miss sokka's slapstick, which has been substituted with very dry humor (and i understand this makes more sense for live action). i am still on the fence about how i feel about making ozai and azula such central characters in s1; i understand why they felt this was necessary for live action, but having those two be shadow figures in the original s1 was a really cool narrative effect for not only establishing zuko initially as a villain within his own right, but for building narrative suspense as to the fire nation's motivations.

ultimately, there's just some secret x ingredient that's missing from the live action that the original nailed effortlessly — maybe it's the sense of fun and wonder? i haven't really had fun watching this adaptation; i'm more just spectating, like watching some pretty fireworks before i move on with my day. my opinion may change slightly, as i hear the show is stronger in the second half; i wouldn't even say it's a BAD adaptation, but overall i feel like it's just kinda....meh, and i still question why it needs to exist in the first place when there are some things that animation as a medium just does far better.

also i just want to point out that i find it extremely frustrating that this show leans very hard into showing the atrocities and Moral Evil of genocide in literally the first 20 minutes of episode 1 and that while netflix wants the virtue-signaling brownie points for that, they'll still continue to give giant paychecks and platforms to brazen zionists. because after this dies down, the stranger things promo cycle is going to start up.

#anonymous #asks

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ectogeo-rebubbles · 9 months

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Poll: Timing of the Siskarak fling that definitely happened at some point for sure

If you don't think Garak and Sisko ever banged then this is maybe just not the post for you. <3 If, on the other hand, you think they did bang, but not at one of these specific moments, PLEASE DO tell me about the scenario(s) you're imagining in the tags or replies or reblogs or whatever, bc I ABSOLUTELY want to hear about it!!!! <3 <3 <3

DETAILED EXPLANATIONS OF THE POLL CHOICES:

pre-canon: The crackiest one by far. We know that Garak was at the Cardassian embassy on Romulus at some point before canon, based on Broken Link. According to a deleted scene (therefore DEF not actually canon facts, just for fun lol), Sisko was at the Federation embassy on Romulus at some point before canon. YOU DO THE MATH

post-Profit and Loss: "Oh, and if you'd like, stop by the shop one day. I have a number of suits that would look quite flattering on you." We all know from Past Prologue that this is Garak's fave pickup line.

post-The Search part 2: Sisko has a charged little conversation with simulation!Garak in the Replimat, including many sly smiles and the line "Mr. Garak I never knew we thought so much alike." This could easily be the moment when Sisko realizes Garak's attractive.

approx. The Way of the Warrior: Remember how Garak offered Sisko a new suit earlier? This ep involves Sisko cashing in on that, and making Garak do a fitting for him in the wardroom to pass him information. Maybe once the crisis has passed they do a more private fitting, if you know what I mean. Or maybe they've already hooked up before The Way of the Warrior, and that's why Garak makes that expression of interest when Sisko call him up to the wardroom and asks him to bring his tailor's kit (thinks it's another booty call).

approx. Favor the Bold: This ep is where it's mentioned that Garak is temporarily stuck hanging out on the Starbase, and it also happens to be when Sisko is working from an office there. So the hookup would not necessarily happen during this ep, but just when they are in similar conditions of being the only Niners left behind on the Starbase. Garak is starting to cooperate more extensively with Starfleet than he ever has before (he even has some anxiety and paranoia during Favor the Bold that could be taken as a precursor to his more severe breakdown in Afterimage). But yeah what could better symbolize his desperate the-enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend sort of cooperation that he now has with Starfleet than to sleep with Sisko. <3

In the Pale Moonlight: Exhibit A, this meme of a screenshot from ITPM that features the text: "they call it committing murder because it’s a commitment. it’s a more serious commitment than marriage." Enough said. <3 ^_^ I mean, who WOULDN'T get turned on by all that shady plotting and scheming, whew! Not to mention the inherent intimacy of sharing a dangerous secret.

#siskarak #my polls

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miseries-mistress · 1 year

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CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES | COMMANDER CODY

Synopsis: It's been two years, give or take, since the Empire first rose to power. Those years were more often than not filled with desolate loneliness, longing for the Cody you once knew to return to you as his former self. Only that day came sooner than you imagined.

Warnings: gender-neutral reader, TBB S2 EP 3 SPOILERS, some angst, some fluff, bitter-sweet endings bc he deserves one. W/C: 1309

Notes: this is all over the place... just don't pay too much attention to it

star wars masterlist

The flowers on your bedside table were long dead. You hadn't bothered to replace them- touch them is more accurate since Cody first put them there what feels like a million rotations ago.

Your room was small, with nothing but a bed and a bathroom, but you should be lucky that the Empire provided this much after you were relocated from the 212th. Your refusal to leave the military was forged by the consequences of doing so because, despite your hatred and burning rage toward the Empire, you didn't have any kind of backup outside of this job. You're sure if you resigned, the Empire would make sure that one of their finest medics never gets a job again, forcing you to rely solely on them for any false sense of stability. In fact, they might not even let you leave at all, given how long you've served the Republic. Though, it didn't matter, for there was another part of you, another reason you refused to leave...because of him.

You worked as a field medic for the last two years of the Clone Wars for the 212th battalion. The job wasn't easy, but the company of the men made up for all the gore and death you had to witness and fix. It's how you met Cody, after all, how the flowers of your relationship bloomed, the petals stretching wide to reach new heights and opportunities like your smile once did. The relationship you and Cody shared was beautiful. No matter how much secrecy it caused the two of you, you flourished under the circumstances, just relishing in the feeling of being his while it lasted. Now it was all lost, the petals rotting and decaying, curling in on themselves with the stench of death, and you didn't have the heart to throw away your only physical reminder of what once was.

You don't see him much anymore.

When the Empire first rose from the ashes of the Clone Wars, Cody was no longer the same. More noticeably, his eyes were dark; the bright gleam of life you had grown accustomed to seeing was nowhere to be found, his irises devoid of anything other than an end. Nevertheless, it had encouraged you to ask questions when he visited you about a headache, prattling on and on about the Empire and the Jedi turned traitors to all he stood for and fought for; what he was bred for.

You listened with open ears as you did x-rays and scans, only to frown at the lack of results that something was abnormal. You knew Cody wasn't one to complain, especially when it came to pain- a clone commander's stubbornness- but there was nothing amiss, and that should have been your first sign that something was horribly wrong.

Cody protested, insisting that something was definitely not right as you sent him off with a smile and some pain medication. Since then, the Empire has kept him busy shutting down rebel insurgents, gaining control of star systems, and making Cody dirty his blood-soaked hands further with the victims of the Empire. As a result, his visits grew far and few, never sharing the same connection you and he once had. However, it doesn't seem to matter to him. No matter how often you tried to talk to him and get him to open up in desperation to return to some sense of normalcy between you two, he reassured you that he was fine, just following orders. You didn't believe him.

There's an unsteady and frantic knock at the door, echoing loudly throughout your room with a loud thump. You narrow your eyes at the entrance, but somehow, amongst your melancholy, you manage to rise from your bed, already dressed for the day, to greet your visitor.

It's Cody.

You haven't seen him in six months, and even then, his last visit only lasted a couple of hours before he was deployed again, yet the first thing you notice is his armor. It's stripped of all its former color; the color of freedom he and his brother proudly sported has been leaked from every crevice of the one thing he's allowed to own. A testament to his enslavement to the Empire.

The door is pulled shut, his shaky hands finding your shoulders like it's the most natural thing in the world, as if it's still you and Cody against the galaxy, not the other way around. You don't know what to feel as he searches your face, drinking in the sight of you with wild distress, and that scares you most of all.

Your head is pounding as you watch Cody's mouth form words you can't entirely comprehend. A mission, Crosshair, droids, the governor, the finer details go over your head as you're still staggering from Cody's presence in front of you, as though no time has passed since his last visit. He's here and talking to you like he did when droids were the enemy. A weight lifts off your shoulders at the very thought of your Cody, the one who would lay on your chest and let you run your hands through his hair, returning from the darkness he's been hiding in.

While his explanation is rushed, his tense body continually moving in a state of anxiety, his eyes wander from yours every once in a while to scan the room to ensure his safety. You recognize the look in his eyes, and things begin to click into place; he's scared.

"Will you go with me?" he concludes his long-winded explanation, and you blink at him. After his strange behavior and detachment, he's come back and asks you to desert the Empire with him. To leave everything you know and hold behind, your lives, family, everything, all to build a better one for yourselves, a life together.

You swallow the lump that had inexplicably formed in your throat, your blood pumping with newfound energy and purpose, and you collapse into his armored chest despite yourself. He returns the embrace as you crumble into him, offering you the comfort he was unable to provide before, offering every apology he can within his strong arms, providing you safety and security within his wiry muscles underneath his hardened exterior. You can't remember a time when you felt so cared for.

You have questions, so many goddamn questions, but they all evaporate the moment he sees your lips moving to form words, uttering his own that leaves you reeling.

"Trust me."

And you can't help but do exactly that. You bite back every warning and concern, pushing it to the back of your mind because you will have time for them later. Time.

You have time with him.

So while Cody holds you tenderly like he's afraid you'll break, you agree, practically sobbing in his chest with relief that after all this time, he still cares for you. Even when he is abandoning his brothers, the once Republic that fabricated him, the very thing he would have died for, he came to you and asked you to commit treason with him. The gesture speaks more volumes than any flowery language or touches ever could, conveying his belief and trust in you that after all that had happened, he's choosing you, and that's worth all the time in the world.

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