the funniest thing supernatural ever pulled was when they brought back mary and instead of choosing the oedipal route for their compulsively masculine protagonist they gave him an electra complex

was ‘healing & wholeness through death’ always Dabb’s intention

Content note: discussions of suicide attempts, including quotes from the show on that topic; and the concept of death as the solution to problems

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Mary should have been the blaring warning siren and I didn’t listen.

Castiel: I'm looking for someone. Dumah: Mary Winchester? If that's why you're here, then you should leave now. Castiel: Why? There may be a way to bring her back. Dumah: Why would you want to do that? … She is at peace. You know, she died painlessly. Instantly. Completely. She's in Heaven, a special Heaven. Mary Winchester is complete. You and the Winchesters may not be. But she is. -14x18 (Robert Berens) -transcript from superwiki

“Completeness” in death. Mary, now dead and in Heaven, is “complete,” says the story. And, in this moment in s14, the Winchesters and Cas are apparently not “complete.”

Mary, who initially didn’t want to be alive:

Mary: I didn’t ask to come back here. Billie: No, you didn’t. And you hate it. The look in your eyes – I’ve seen it before. It’s a dead man’s look. Eyes that say no matter where you go, what you do, it feels like this world doesn’t fit anymore. Like you’re all alone. Dean: Well, she’s not alone. Billie: Tell me I’m wrong. [Mary doesn’t answer] I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to offer you mercy. One way ticket upstairs. Away from all of this. [Mary hesitates] Mary: How would it work? Sam: Mom! Billie: Reapers don’t kill people. Rules. Mary: Well, then -- [She looks at Sam and Dean, then turns to look back at Billie] Then I guess you’re just gonna have to wait. -12x06 (Steve Yockey)

Mary, who struggled so hard with being pulled out of her heavenly paradise and given her life back. Mary, who struggled to get over the loss of her husband, and the loss of her previous life, and the loss of the two little children she had wanted to raise.

Mary, who held a gun to her own head more than once. Mary, who, at one point, sincerely begged Ketch to kill her:

MARY LEANS UP AGAINST MR. KETCH, GRABS HIS GUN AND BACKS AWAY. MR. KETCH: Mary MARY COCKS THE GUN AND PUTS BELOW HER CHIN. MR. KETCH: No. MR. KETCH GRABS FOR THE GUN AND MANAGES TO KNOCK IT AWAY AS IT GOES OFF. MR. KETCH: Ow! Ah! MARY: Then you do it! Kill me. All my life, all I ever had, other than my family, was my will. MARY BEGINS TO CRY. MARY: And it's going away. I'm – I'm putting people in danger. I'm putting my sons in danger. You have to – MARY DROPS TO HER KNEES. MARY: Please. For God's sake, kill me. MR. KETCH: Mary. MARY: Just do it! MR. KETCH: Mary, listen to me. It won't be long now. This will all be over. I promise. MARY: No. MR. KETCH: I promise. MARY: No. KETCH WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM AND LEAVES MARY IN DESPAIR. -12x21 (Buckleming) -transcript from superwiki

Mary later rejected death, although looking back at it now, in retrospect, she rejected it not quite so much on the basis of “living is good, actually,” but more on the basis that Heaven isn’t good enough (… not yet, as it turns out):

[Kevin tears open his shirt revealing a sigil carved into his chest.] … KEVIN: Michael says… that when I get to Heaven-- when he lets me into Heaven-- I'll get to see my mom again. MARY: I've been to Heaven, and what's there… it's just memories. Nothing's real. -13x20 (Glynn) -transcript from superwiki

(I was so happy for her when I first watched this, because I thought it was a sign that she would be turning the corner and getting the opportunity to heal in life, and on a long-term basis. But………….)

Mary then did find strength and purpose in her life and her job – hunting, helping Jack, helping the AU World hunters. She came back to Sam and Dean’s world and forged stronger relationships with them. She started a romantic relationship with AU Bobby, although it seems that she had her troubles with it:

MARY: Bobby's not open like your dad. SAM: Wait. Like my dad? MARY: Okay. At least he's not like your dad was when I knew him. SAM: Right. MARY: Bobby's got walls, big ones. I just don't know if I can do that if I even ever put myself out there again. -14X05 (Glynn)

Her one true love, ultimately, was John. And then, in 14x13, she was hit hard by the loss of John just after getting him back again:

SAM: Uh, the, uh… the lore is pretty clear. We destroy the pearl, and it unwinds all of this. Dad goes back… and so will everything else. MARY: And he won’t remember anything? [SAM shakes his head.] SAM: No. [MARY nods. She shakes her head, crying.] MARY: Sam, I can’t.

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[JOHN and MARY take each other’s hand.] MARY: I hate this. JOHN: So do I. … My girl. [MARY smiles through tears.] JOHN: I miss you so damn much. MARY: Me too. -14x13 (Dabb and Glynn) -transcript from superwiki

Mary’s next episode, 14x17, is her death.

(In between, we have 14x14, with Cas’ speech to Jack about appreciating the time they have with their short-lived human loved ones, and carrying on when they are gone. At the time I suppose I thought it was foreshadowing for Mary, but in retrospect it’s broader than that, isn’t it.)

So, at the point of Mary’s death, she’s not actively suicidal anymore. But her losses have been recently emphasized, and so has her pain. Her husband is dead.

And then comes 14x18 and her “completeness.” We find out in 14x19 that she and John are sharing a Heaven. She is at peace, we hear, because she is with her husband in the afterlife.

All in all, in retrospect, this concept of “completeness in death” – of having death be your reward and your happy ending – pervaded the Dabb era from the start. We learned as early as 12x19 that Jack would build a “paradise,” and now we know what that paradise is: this remodeled Heaven in which Dean can, apparently, have what wanted but couldn’t have on earth and in life. Dean, who -- though he wasn’t actively suicidal in 15x20 -- has also struggled mightily with wanting to be dead, and who has been suicidal in the past.

It results in this concept that, as long as you’re not actively suicidal (anymore!), dying at the age of 41 (or approx. 32, in Mary’s case) is fine. This concept that it’s good, actually, because then you’ll be whole and at peace.

I find this deeply disturbing. I know that the ‘reunited in Heaven’ concept works for some (and I think I wouldn’t even necessarily have a problem with it if it were explicitly shown to be happening at the end of a long and happy life). But as presented in canon, involving the characters that it does, with their lives being cut short the way they are, I do find it deeply disturbing. Personally, I’m finding myself (emotionally speaking) backing away from the entire Dabb era with my hackles raised.

And I feel stupid for not seeing it. Or, truthfully, for seeing some of it and then convincing myself that it wasn’t there, that I was wrong, that TPTB couldn’t be leading the story in that direction. For, I guess, buying into what I read as the Carver-era ‘retirement’/‘living a long and happy life’ themes so hard that I didn’t let myself focus on anything else. For always being half-afraid that TPTB would re-fridge Mary, so that when they finally did it I just went, “Well, that’s that :(” without examining the themes around it closely enough.

For not taking all the warning bells seriously.

I want to make sure to say this clearly: It is absolutely possible to heal in life. Friends, and loved ones, and old relationships and new relationships, and love, and loyalty, and peace, all exist in life, able to be found and created. Healing exists in life. Contentment. New experiences and excitement and joy and beauty. Nobody’s too traumatized for that. Dean and Mary deserved that. Everybody does.

My Season 13 Opinion

I loved it! It’s in my top 5 seasons, along with 4,5 11 and 12. S12 is my favorite, having the least amount of episodes I skip on rewatch, the rest all share about 4 or 5 episodes not worth more of my time.  The Season in Review I remember the teaser before the season started said “Season 13 is their Lucky Number” And Im thinking OK lets do this! Lets see some positives for The Winchesters!! Lets see if we got them :)

Character Arcs Sam- Sam has definite changes from season to season. This one was no different. We had Sam last season being heavy on the confident badassery, while pining for a relationship with his mother, to Sam jumping automatically into a fatherly/mentor role for Jack. Meanwhile he’s troubled. suffering great loss, worrying about Dean, the fate of their mother, and his own struggles with his time in Hell and Lucifer.  I read a lot about you nay sayers, who think Jared has had enough, is ready to hang it up, but I have to say Jared nailed every facet of Sam’s life. His relationship with Jack, has been the single most precious storyline the show has come up with, IMO. The chemistry was there immediately, and Sam knew right away that Jack was worth saving. In the episode Patience, we see this relationship take root. Not long after, Dean warms up to Jack, and then Cas comes back and tries to slip into Father mode because he promised Kelly, and then Jack goes missing into the AU. and comes out with Lucifer bent on taking Jack from Sam ... but Sam kept it together.  Through all this, Sam deals with Dean’s depression, fails at trying to cheer him up, nearly loses Dean for good, because nothing Sam can do for Dean, gives him what he needs... which is a win.  In the 2nd half of the season, Sam falls into his own depression. He lost Jack, his mother, Lucifer is back around and causing trouble. We finally learn what keeps messing with Sam since Hell, and what causes his sleeplessness, fear and helplessness, and it’s Lucifers true face, which he discovers he shares with Rowena. (more on that in S14 I hope) we discover also, late in the season, that Sam would like to have revenge on Lucifer, but hes also seeing that revenge doesnt fix anything. Sam ends his season being brutally killed by vampires, resurrected by Lucifer who doesnt waste time with the taunts and threats, being regected again by his mother, who he should have told to go pound sand up her ass, but tookthe high road to come up with a solution. He could have spent the last 3 episodes fighting and arguing with Lucifer but he didnt. He swallowed it all and then forcefully left him behind in the AU. Here, is probably where Sam thought he got revenge. He looked happy and wonderfully content back atthe bunker. It was short lived because Luci was out in no time, with Michael in tow and now determined to take Jack.  Sam didnt go on a rampage to destroy Lucifer, but he called Jack to come back, and then stepped into protector role. What this got him, was Lucifer kicking him around, ad threatening his life once more... but when Jack tried to take his own life for Sam’s and told Sam he loves him. We know Sam won, that was best revenge he could have gotten. So when Dean came around, with Michael wearing him, Lucifer could get whats coming to him... in typical winchester fashion, Sam tosses the blade up to Dean that Dean catches no problem, and finally kills the devil!  Sam’s arc, as I saw it from beginning to end, was a lessen in patience. Dont rush, dont act on impulse too much, dont take everything personal. Stay focused and keep your head. As Axle Rose told us “Take it slow, it will work itself out fine, all we need is just a little patience” Dean: Our Dean started this season out in the deepest pit of dispair. This didnt start at the end of S12 but in the beginning when Mary walked out. This started Dean on a spiral downward, that gained momentum in spots. Once he killed Hitler, Dean didnt get anymore big kills, too much of the time he was the one being rescued. At the end of S12, he was nearly killed by Ketch, and Mom saved him. He got a win by curing mom of the brainwashing, but it was very short lived by her being lost in the AU. Dean suffered the biggest handful of loss he ever had. He lost mom, cas, crowley, and rowena, he fortunately still had Sam but he was preoccupied with Jack, who Dean saw as the main reason everyone was lost.  Dean lost hope in everything, and though Im of the belief that he wasnt trying to kill himself forever in Advanced Thanatology, as he had full intentions of coming back when Billie said “it depends on you” he wasnt in the mindset to argue with her if she wasnt going to let him go. But Billie told him to live, because he and Sam are important. (my theory on that later) so Dean comes back, and soon after, Cas comes back.  Dean is immediately upbeat because now he knows there is hope. It wasnt because he loves Cas more than Sam as some may assume, but Sam couldnt give Dean the win he needed to regain his hope.  Deans good mood went south once he learned Mom was still alive and being tortured in the AU. He was now a man on a mission and he was going to save her no matter what. But then they lost Jack too, and Sam went into his own depression and Dean was there for hm too. He wanted Sam to come out of the dark place he was in, but he knew that darkness was justified. But they both pressed on and kept at it... risking life and limb on the daily, Dean felt extra need to protect Sam so he side lined him in hopes to keep him safe. Sam wasnt gonna have that, they’re gonna live, work, suffer and die together, and thats all there is to it.  However when the vampire killed Sam before Deans eyes, and there was nothing he could do to save him, I have never seen Dean in a deeper pit. He was literally a walking corpse. I can only imagine Dean having less hope at that time, because they were in the AU, where the laws of their world dont apply. Maybe Winchesters dont have a reset button in a world they were never born in. Im fully convinced Dean was going back to the cave to lay down and die next to Sam, when Sam came walking in. Dean was so grateful to see his brother walking, that he didnt care Lucifer came too....” no need to be sorry Sammy... now hug me you little shit!” (paraphrased ;))  Things look up now, Sam comes up with a good plan for the survivors in the Au, and most are now safe and sound in the bunker. Jack is a good little hunter, Dean gets hope that maybe someday the world will be safe enough that they can retire. But thats short lived as well when Lucifer comes back and brings good ole Michael and all Hell breaks loose. When Sam gets blasted away with Jack and Lucifer, Dean’s self destructive co dependence comes out and theres just no other choice but to let Michael use his vessel to take out Lucifer. The fight ensues, Lucifer is too strong, and is about to kill Dean, but Sam comes through by tossing the blade to him perfectly.... and he kills the SOB.  Dean’s arc this season was a lessen in Faith. Faith in God, faith in Sam, faith in love and faith in whats right. It can get better Dean.... every day can get better.  Now we can go on to more fun things -

Best episodes IMO Im going to give that to Scooby for being the most fun and most original. But there were so many really good episodes, Patience, (Sams side of that) Advanced Thanatology, Breakdown, The Scorpion and the Frog, Varuius and Sundary Villians, A Most Holy Man,Funerella, Beat The Devil, Exodus and Let the Good times Roll.  Worst Episodes : By far was Wayward Sisters. The only one I couldnt bring myself to watch a 2nd time. Other’s werent bad, but boring, such as Tombstone, A Devils Bargain, and Good Intentions.  Best Sam Lines - “I know what its like to feel likeyou dont fit, to be afraid of who you are, and what you can do... but my family helped me through that, and now Im gonna help you, You’re not evil Jack”  “We are going to go to this place together.... and if anything happens, we’ll deal with it it together.... and if we die? We’ll dothat together too”  Best Dean lines : “Its a lizard Sam, it tastes like Lizard” “They took my brother, now Im gonna get him back”  “Im never gonna appologize for protecting you. Do you remember the last time we had front row seats to the Lucifer Michael fight? Because I do. You died Sam, and went to Hell! Now I dont care much about what happens to me, never did... but I do care about what happens to my brother” Saddest moments: When Sam couldnt bring himself to tell Dean about why he’s hopeless.  Dean’s dead mans walk to the camp and his tears when Mary asked where Sam was.  Jack crying and punching himself wondering why he hurts people. Happiest Moments: The brohug and the tension melting from Sam’s face Sam and Dean getting a toast in their honor. Jack telling Sam he loves him Sams face when he realizes Lucifer is dead Worst moments: Dean popping a cork when he found outbthere was no more grace.  Sam’s death... all of it Worst Storylines: Wayward Sisters, Asmodeus, Sister Jo (not Danneel hate, it just wasnt a good story)  Best Storyline: Sam and Jack  Interesting things we learned. Sam hates strip clubs, Dean buys Sam a lap dance, Sam has extensive hair care products, and Dean likes tentical porn Stuff I want to see more of next season: Michael!Dean but not for too long... we need real Dean.  Why does Sam have to kill Rowena? What did seeing Lucifer’s face entail? The Man Cave Daddy Sam!!!!!!! Lowkey predictions fro S14 We get a frantic Sam looking for Dean, not unlike S10 but he has help this time . The Angels die and all souls come to earth as ghosts and wreak havok. This along with Lucifer being dead, open the door for the boys to work towards retirement. Get heaven reopened, and the souls back in, maybe by draining the empty of angels, wth Luci dead, no need for Hell, close it up, everyone goes to Heaven. Start eliminating all the bad monsters from the world, sending good ones to Heaven and sending the bad ones to Purgatory where they came from. This wouldnt need to be a quick thing, it could take years to do it, or clean it up in one season, but it provides an end goal. The boys find out theyre important because theyre the only ones who can accomplish this.  In the end, Season 13 was their lucky one. Lucifer is dead. Now they can work towards a future. :)

Bees = purity fits well with Cain's beekeeping hobby. Before Dean showed up, Cain had turned himself into the most gentlest demon one could ever find. Nice observation, Mittens. :)

I can’t believe we didn’t mention Cain in the original post. I went and looked up the date of it, and it was from late November 2015. I wanted to see if it was before or after I wrote Cain into the Project Beyonce ‘verse as a beekeeper… and it was like six MONTHS after, and I still didn’t think of that connection. But we were talking specifically about Cas… :P

But bees and beekeeping was definitely a big part of how Cain was able to “retire.” Part of his curse (at least in the Bible in OUR world) was that he’d never be able to farm, that spilling his brother’s blood cursed the land (there’s a lot of variation in how the story is told). When he eventually settled with Colette and found a way to support themselves, it was through keeping bees.

For him it was more than a hobby. Like the rest of his time with Colette, it was a sort of penance. He got out of the demoning business, but he still couldn’t work the land. Her love helped him find enough peace to do the next best thing– keep the bees that would pollinate all the surrounding fields. Remember, he had to go out to the store to buy corn, but between the pollination of the fields and harvesting the honey, he was still performing an essential service for the other farms nearby.

Keeping bees still allowed him to be a part of the process. Not to mention the result was the sweet and enduring honey. As long as he was with Colette, feeling normal and productive, he could resist the power of the Mark. Until Abaddon tricked him into killing Colette. Just like he’d been tricked into killing Abel.

As Colette died, he swore never to kill again, and stayed on their land for over a hundred and fifty years caring for their bees. Until Crowley and Dean showed up leading Abaddon’s troops right to his doorstep. Once he broke his promise, he left his land, gave up the purpose Colette had helped him discover, and gave in to the Mark again. This time not to build up his army of Knights, but to wipe out his entire line of descendants in an attempt to do SOMETHING to break the curse of his bloodline.

Post s11, after we fully understand what the Mark of Cain was in the first place, it’s interesting that Cain had told Dean that Dean was living his life in reverse, because Cain had really been living out the original curse of the mark (i.e. the fight between God and the Darkness that had generated the mark in the first place). Heck after 10.14 I did an awful lot of all-caps screaming that Cain’s prophecy to Dean there was not Dean making Cain’s “mistakes” in reverse, but  undoing them. And since that proved true, it reveals Cain’s mission to wipe out his descendants, to erase his entire legacy from the Earth, to be a continuation of his running farther and farther from the real solution to that legacy. Cain was still scrambling to start from the point HE took on the Mark and work forward, when the only real solution was to “look back to the start.”

The river ends at its source and all that.

Cain was still trying to take all the blame for the Mark and its effects onto himself, when it should never have been his burden in the first place. Like Dean and Sam playing cosmic catch-up through most of the show (I think the first time they work past the narrative and take the reins of their own destiny for themselves is probably in s8 when the Leviathans are safely back in Purgatory and they start pushing to make huge cosmic adjustments to the universe, and “pull one of the Great Levers,” as Metatron said, and shut up Hell forever. until that point they’re largely at the mercy of destiny, no matter how hard they worked to defy it.)

It took Dean killing Cain, the first step back along the river to the Mark’s source, to reverse the entire narrative and send it careening back along the riverbed, zooming past Dean’s immediate family issues to the creation of… Creation.

Like Cain was determined to continue moving forward playing catch-up with his legacy, but it was an impossible task. It was like having a broken water main in the house and instead of plugging it up and stopping the leak, Cain was doing the equivalent of running around with a roll of paper towels trying to soak up the ensuing flood.

Heck this makes Metatron’s “the river end at its source” metaphor work pretty well again. I almost hate to make Metatron look actually smart with words, but whatever… :P

Dean went several steps beyond fixing that busted water main. He shut down the water flowing into the house and then followed the line all the way back to the pumping station and then shut THAT down, as well.

S12 was Dean coming back home to deal with the original flood damage. Bailing out the water, replacing water-damaged floors and walls (including  that pedestal he’d placed Mary’s memory upon), and beginning to lay a new foundation.

Wtf, where did all of this come from, we were talking about bees ffs.

Now I REALLY need someone to bring up bees again in s13. Because now they are really in a place of their own making. They’re no longer just fulfilling God’s plan, but there have been cosmic consequences for their actions. It’s like they’ve gone too far, back past the source of the river, and need to bring it back to balance. And the bees are a symbol of resetting that balance, both during Cas’s time in late s7, and Cain’s time with Colette until he began killing again.

Rant

I was reading some summaries and opinions of 12x14. At this point I think you know, that I don´t watch the Cas-less eps, I watched pieces of 12x14. So here´s my ranty rant, that ofc you can skip right now.

Long rant under the cut

The one thing I really paid attention in some gifs I saw, was Ketch talking to Dean about how they were both killers. Are they trying to make Dean a cold hunter that only drinks and drinks and kills and kills? The show gets darker and darker and in the middle we have a "laugh it out" episode that makes no sense or they plain forget super important continuity issues (I´m looking at you 12x10, not over that one yet). It´s getting to the point of TWD dark (I´m not comparing the shows but the situation of the plot) It`s always the same thing, over and over again, darker and darker, with no solution whatsover on the horizon. Every season we start at square one with something that bothers the bros, they fight about it, they fight some more, but in the end the sick codependency wins. At this point, and if we guide ourselves by bros actions, they can´t judge anyone. Sure they can get mad, but acting all mighty they cannot do anymore.

Of course I blame the writers. They made Dean this shell of a person that only cares about his brother, and even then Sam has to agree with everything, or he gets shit from Dean too. He is not a fighter anymore, or a hunter with a lot of issues and a terrible past, that gets through at the end. Nope.He acts like a bitter, cold man. Someone who copes with a lot of alcohol and meaningless sex. And that´s a shame because he was so great. Now all I see is Dean in a path of self destruction. I see him reckless without Sam by his side. And that´s horrible too because he is dragging Sam with him. And Sam always wanted out. As Dean doesn´t see a life outside of his semi living, Sam does see it, and I think that´s what´s keeping him more grounded than his brother. So all this bmol thing could be good for Sam, really bad for Dean. We are forgetting that the bmol are killers, they kill innocents to cover their tracks, they don´t even kill for the “greater good”. They torture too. And Ketch is saying that Dean is like them. Don´t like it one bit. We already saw enough of the dark sides Dean Winchester has. 

What bothers me too, is that the only woman, who we see actively hunting, is always questioned. I know spn is sexist and all that (gods do they have to punch that vamp girl like that?). But we are talking about Mary Winchester. She is the key for this story. She´s why they seek for revenge, she´s why John made Dean responsible for Sam and we have this horrible codependency now. She is important. Why did they bring her back? Just to be a drama device. But there we have it, another character the people can hate because, she “divides” the brothers. She is their mother ffs! Why there has to be always someone to put the bros on separate sides?. And remember that Sam accepted to be IN with the bmol and Dean still doesn´t know it. We go out of the “Mary lies situation”, to the “Sam lied again” situation. 

There´s “no side” in this. At the end of the ep Dean adknowledges somewhat what Mary tried to do. But how long will it last? As much as spn likes to talk about family, I never see it. All I see are two brothers with a really dark future ahead, really damaged, and alone, because they do not let anyone in. Not even their mother. It´s a pitiful family bond that already destroyed too many people. And I don´t understand why some fans are mad at Mary when the brothers have been doing the same thing for 12 seasons. It makes no sense.

I´m not even going to talk about Cas here and how they are treating him. You already know what I think and if the season progresses as always I have lots and lots of rants ahead.