I live inside my head and I live in some weird fucking fantasy world that doesn’t line up with reality but I keep thinking it _is_ the reality and then I end up super hurt and confused and wondering why I’ve been lied to and misled when it’s literally just my brain making shit up, or I’ll think I’ve been super clear and said things properly but in reality I’ve said like the most cryptic fucking thing ever and there’s no way anyone would understand what I mean and then I’ll be upset because “I told you this! Why didn’t you listen?” And this shit keeps happening and I don’t know why or how to fix it, and I get so overwhelmed and frustrated with myself and everyone else that I just want to end every single relationship in my life and never talk to or interact with anyone again.

...okay so the b&a of this edit looks a lot less impressive than i thought it would

weekly breakdown post 😁 none of you hate me right !

How did Auto and Hiro meet? :>

Honestly, you'd think I'd have a concrete story for this by now, what with them being such a huge thing in my brain since Winter of '22 but I still. Do not have a solid idea for it (fun fact , how characters meet is like my biggest weakness when it comes to writing them)

But I've got ideas, and the one I've rolled with the longest was that it was just that they met randomly on one of Auto's first nights in Splatsville after coming to the surface. Not a huge deal of a meeting, felt like it wouldn't be that significant to them

A little hard to put my thoughts into words exactly, but Auto just kinda stuck to Hiro because he was encouraged to make friends in the city but he didn't know how to really do that and I suppose Hiro just willingly stuck around with him too

man i really love my mom but she always tends to turn things into that thing women do where they talk about their feelings and social interactions (usually how she's outcasted all the time) and I am just so goddamn horrible at replying bc i just. cant relate or see how its a problem. like its not traumadumping and i get that she doesnt want me to try to fix the problem but also mom you know i used to throw sand at people and hiss at them to get me to leave me alone im like the worst person to talk to about being a social outcast or social insecurity

For the residents of Serpentis Solacia, it's not all that unusual for a stranger to carry an odd story behind them. To have a bunch of those eccentric strangers congregating in one place, however, somehow manages to be even less unusual.

Such is the case with the Coven of Malady's Rejoice. While it is, accurate to its name, made up of a collection of witches, the building claimed by the coven's founders houses a few other non-witches, with the insistence they are, in fact, somehow serving an integrally useful role as associates. Somehow.

For instance, Chthonia. With no magic and, at this point, no discernable Charge, it's hard for her to feel as if she's doing anything but killing time amongst the coven, even if she must admit to enjoying the company. Her living there is mostly paid for through her willingness to carry out favors for the others, especially considering how wide her practical skillset is. She's built up quite the well of experience with many manners of repairs and research, even prior to her arrival in the Wasteland, and can usually be relied upon to at least have a general knowledge on any task she's entrusted with.

That being said, the less magical and more draconic side of the coven's members does occasionally leave Chthonia with the brunt of the group's domestic matters. Considering that a walk through Serpentis Solacia's merchant's district is never too far out of the way, getting stuck with the occasional stretch of grocery shopping or material-fetching isn't the worst thing in the world; and it's hard not to enjoy it when her familiar, Kerbie, always seems eager to join her for the walk.

Besides, at the end of the day, it's just nice to feel appreciated.

Hey hey, don't be so down on yourself just yet. Like you said, it's just a bad brain night. I'm sure when you're feeling better, you won't worry about it anymore. Or maybe anything at all, if you're up for that-

~🔄

i know 😣 confidence is just at an all time low rn

for some reason i keep thinking of tomorrow as being miserably packed with stuff even though what i have scheduled is actually "morning union meeting, scheduled for two hours and will run to three as always"—which is, admittedly, wretched— followed by a break of two hours and then

"two hour sewing class i signed up for myself, want to take, is only a ten minute walk from my home, and requires no prep whatsoever"

however this is the first time in many months that any post-union-meeting scheduled saturday afternoon activity has been anything other than work and i think i'm unable to actually believe that having literally anything planned on a saturday is not foreshadowing a long slog to work interspersed with guilt

the term “femcel” is so frustrating to me because it’s nearly impossible to explain to men that that is an entirely online phenomenon of young women (often teenagers) who are expressing frustration towards men because of their experiences of sexism that also blends into venting about mental health issues, which has turned onto an aestheticized online identity (coquette/femcel/etc). and they’re not literally the female equivalent of incels in terms of real life social identity/threat to women’s safety. it’s like trying to explain why misandry is not at the same level as misogyny except they get stuck on the word “femcel” because it literally stands for “female incel” so of course it’s the exact same thing. stupid women!! double standards!! etc etc etc. but it’s not like women complaining about men on the internet is the same as men feeling entitled to women’s bodies and attention and hurting and killing women for not being attracted to them

[bones creaking with every step i take] i think a lot of copia's self-image issues would start resolving themselves pretty quick with a transition arc. but that's just me.

And don't blame me for anything! I didn't do anything wrong. Mom.

BLUEMING EP.10

thinking unhappy thoughts at 1 am except these can’t even be categorized into the “no feelings past 4pm in winter are real” bc it wasn’t inherently a negative thought it was a positive thought which upon saying aloud sounded really fucking sad

NONE OF THEM WOULD DO THAT

x

Me : *takes a two hours nap after lunch so I'm well rested and in a good mood for my class later on*

My brain : I know what she needs

My brain : *gives me a weird dream about how girls I'm attracted to think I'm creepy and about how librarians think I'm rude*

My brain : You're welcome :)

Something I’ve learnt as an autistic person is that a good, hearty laugh at the the right moment can shatter someone’s ego more than any words ever could.