#so we had to go back and get him. and i was like 'wtf is wrong with you' an they said they didn't know and. yeah
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let me tell u this idea i have of going to the club with bestie!roomie!toji
you're all comfy in his lap, back against his broad chest, in a private booth (thank you shiu) while the others in the group are busy drinking or on the dance floor. but you are more than content with just staying with toji. the way his hand strokes up and down your back, occasionally, going over your hip and playfully squeezing your ass as he feigns innocence !!
trying to get him back by teasing him, pouting as you tell him that you want his opinion on this new outfit you bought bc you don't know if the color fits you. and he does NOT expect to see you open a picture of you posing in the mirror in cute pink lingerie that hugs you in all the right places. “i like this one, the pink set was so pretty, but i dunno if i like it on me,” you hum
toji is losing his fucking MIND right now, his arms gripping you tighter as he lets out a heavy sigh at the view. he doesn't even get a chance to say anything before you're swiping to the left and you grow a little shy, giving a fake little 'woops'
instead of a picture, it’s a fucking video. a video of you fucking yourself with a toy playing on the screen angled so only he could see!! the volume is low so only you both can hear it and toji can HEAR the wet gushing of your pussy, creaming around the toy as you moaned and begged oh so cutely. “aww...toji, I couldn’t even get the toy all the way in,” you whine. “only got it halfway…”
its taking everything in him not to just fuck you right now, to show you he'd make sure you'd be able to get cock in you all the way. "kook at my best girl, so fuckin' desperate and needy," he hums, resting his chin on your shoulder as he watches the video. "tsk, tsk, tsk...poor think, y'should be filled up properly, hm? stretched on my cock til you're taking all of it...i'd make sure ya cream for real, baby doll."
“i wanted t’ send this to you, wanted you t’ see it and tell you t’ come help me get it in me,” you pouted, leaning into him. "plus, when it feels too good i can't help but run away from it, and it makes it sooo hard t' cum, tojiiiii....you wouldn' let me run from it, right, big guy?"
the way you look at him over your shoulder with those pretty eyes that just scream mischief..."mmn, you should've. i would've come over right away. make sure we get some cock into ya like y'need it. stretch you out niiiiice and good, get m'cock into that tight, pretty pussy of yours...like the good best friend i am," he purrs, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
yeah im insane !!!!
LUNARRRR WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU I WANT YOU SO BAD WHEN I TELL YOU THAT MY EYES POPPED OUT OF MY HEAD I MEAN THAT I HAD TO FUCKING LOOK FOR THEM IN THE DARK BEFORE I COULD DO ANYTHING ELSE RAAAAHHHHHHH
THIS IS SO FUCKING HOT LUNAR I NEED TO MAKEOUT WITH YOU ASAP. FIRST OF ALL THE LINGERIE??????????????????? GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD IT'S SOOFUCKING PRETTY TOJI IS A STRONG STRONG MAN FOR NOT FOLDING IMMEDIATELY BC WTF. OMFG AND I LOOOOOVE THE TOUCHING FUCK IT'S SO HOT LIKE YEAH I WANNA SIT ON HIS LAP AND I WANT HIM TO SQUEEZE MY ASSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHSTOP THIS MADNESS RIGHT NOW
WHEN HE RESTS HIS HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER????????????????????????????????????????? I DIED. I DIED I DIED I DIED. THE CLOSENESS IS DRIVING ME INSANE ACTUALLY LUNAR I REALLY DO NEED TO BITE YOU OR SOMETHING YOU'RE SO SEXY AND THEN A KISS ON THE CHEEEEEEK????????? GODDD I AM NOT YOUR STRONGEST SOLDIERRRRR I WANT TO SUCK HIM RIGHT THEREEEEEEEE BALLS AND EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOU KNOW HE'S GETTING BRICKED BC YOU CAN JUST FEEL IT POKING AT YOU FROM BEHIND FUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKMMM
he calls the cab bc he wants to help his bestie out:(((( but then he's getting soooooooo handsy in the cab already bc how could he not:((( the video keeps replaying in his head and you just keep staring at him with these mischievous eyes and he kinda just wants to eat you yk
his fingers keep kneading your thighs as you play with the hair on his nape andmmmmmmmmmmmmmm he's so hard it fucking hurtss. and when you're finally at your place he doesn't even let you properly open the fucking door bc he just needs his lips on you whewww he's such a good friend:(((((((((((((((((((((((((( he's gonna teach you how to take it and he's not gonna let you run away:((((((((((((((((((((he's so perfect lunar i need him so fucking bad i just drooled on my shirt what the actual fuck
#WAHH I'M SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY MY BELOVED#I JUST HAD TO RUB ONE OUT BEFORE YK#AND BY ONE I MEAN A HUNDRED#LUNAR YOU'RE LITERALLY SOOOOOO SEXY I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING BAD HOLY FUCKING SHIT#THIS WAS THE BEST LITTLE TREAT I COULD'VE EVER ASKED FOR#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKMEEEEEEE#lunar <3#friends!!#toji#toji smut#mickey is daydreaming#bsf!toji#roomie!toji#(he jerks off every night to you btw)#(he's such a fucking perv)#(and i'm so wet i think i'm gonna pass out)#toji fushiguro#jjk toji
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Omg do you know the Valentino x reader period pains thing can you do that but with vox's teenage daughter like how would he react straight panic. Most men in the 50's didn't know anything really about period cramps or periods in general. So he probably not know much besides what Vel talks about. I can imagine him doing the wtf which one do I get her in the store thing so he buys everything lol.
Another super fun request! Enjoy!
Vox stared at the shelves in a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. His gaze fell from the shelves to the list, and back again. So many colors, and why was one woman playing volleyball? He cursed himself for not simply putting Velvette’s requests on the list and pushing it off. How was he supposed to know this could happen in the middle of the night?
“Dad? Dad, I need help. I think I’m dying.”
Vox had heard his daughter's voice from across his bedroom. He instantly sat up and turned on the bedside light, swung his legs over the side of the bed and hurried to her.
“What’s the matter baby?” He asked frantically.
“My belly hurts, and I’m bleeding,” she sobbed. “Daddy, what’s wrong with me?”
He felt a cold chill and sheer panic settle through him as he noticed the bright red stains on her pajama pants. No, she couldn’t be. She couldn’t have her period already, right? She was only thirteen. God, he was so not ready for this.
“You’re not dying babydoll, come on. We need to go see your Aunt Velvette,” he said as calmly as he could. “Come on now, follow me.” He put a hand on her shoulder and guided her down the hallway. He pounded on Velvette’s door. “Vel? Vel get up! We need you!”
He heard frantic footsteps and the door swung open.
“Vox you better have a damn good reason to-” Velvette cut herself off mid sentence at the sight of reader. “Oh. Yep, that’s a good reason. Come in honey, go to my bathroom. I need to talk to your dad for a moment. You’re okay, I promise.”
Vox watched as his daughter walked across the room and vanished behind closed doors. He turned to Velvette, who was scribbling something down on a pad of paper.
“Vel, you still good to handle this?” He asked cautiously. “I just-”
“Vox, it's the middle of the night. I told you ages ago to have housekeeping order the supplies she needs and you put it off. Now you need to go to the store yourself while I convince sweet reader she isn’t about to kick the bucket,” Velvette grumbled as she ripped the paper off the pad and handed it to Vox. “Everything you need is on that list. You’re going to have to go out and buy it right now.”
Vox felt himself flush with embarrassment. This was a female issue- it shouldn’t involve him.
Velvette gave him a look. “If you had listened to me in the first place, we wouldn’t be in this situation would we? Now shoo.”
Now here he stood, with a list of what he firmly believed were made up words. What exactly was a “tampon” anyway? Or a “thin panty liner”?
“Excuse me sir, do you need any help?” A cheerful voice came from behind him.
Vox whirled around. He could feel his face turn even more red as he thrust the list towards the unsuspecting sales girl.
“I..I need these. I mean, I don’t need them. My daughter needs them. I just…”
The sales girl seemed unphased. “How old is your daughter?”
“Thirteen.”
“Okay! She needs this, and this, and this…” she loaded the items into his cart. “Easy enough! Extra chocolate too, might be a nice thing to do.”
Vox could only nod and add an extra bar of chocolate to the cart. To his relief, she packaged everything up in discrete brown paper bags. As he swiped his card, he wondered why such a necessary product was priced so ridiculously high.
When he got back to the apartment, he knocked on Velvette’s door. She stuck her head out and took the bags.
“I woke up Val and he’s making hot cocoa. We’ll join you two in a few minutes. Now shoo.” She slammed the door in his face.
Vox resigned himself to the kitchen. He took a seat at the table and buried his attention in his phone as Valentino stood at the stove in his pajamas, stirring the hot chocolate pot.
“How are you, amicito?” He asked. “Big day for our little princessa.”
Vox groaned. “Can we not talk about it?”
“I think you need to get with the times. Your little girl needs you,” Valentino replied easily. “So get over yourself.”
Vox raised an eyebrow and looked over to him. “You’re not freaked out about this?”
Valentino shrugged. “Why should I be? Our little girl is simply growing up. If you treat her like the plague she will feel shame- and that’s the last thing we want, right?”
Vox considered. He hadn’t thought about it that way, how his reaction to what was admittedly a natural event, might affect her.
“Do you think she knows I’m…”
Valentino cut him off. “I think you did just the right thing, bringing her to Vel.”
“Here she is!” Velvette’s voice called through the kitchen. “Officially a young lady!”
Reader flushed and looked down. “Not…it’s not that big a deal I guess.”
“Oh, baby princessa, it is.” Valentino said as he ladeled the hot chocolate into a mug and added whipped cream. “The heating pad is all set on the couch. Remote is yours.”
“Thanks Uncle Val,” she mumbled as she made her way out to the living room.
“What’s wrong with her?” Vox asked with concern.
Both Valentino and Velvette looked at him with a mix of annoyance and shock. From the living room, the television blared top volume. All three recognized the theme to her favorite show.
“She hurts, she’s bleeding for the first time and she’s embarrassed about it,” Velvette answered. “Even though I told her there was nothing to be ashamed of. It’s normal.”
“So, what do I do?” Vox asked. “How do I help her?”
“You love her, and give her chocolate and give her a bit of grace if she’s crabby. Her hormones are all over the place,” Velvette replied. “And for god sake, get over yourself.”
Vox winced. He didn’t want to think about his daughter having hormones, or growing up. He knew it was a fact of life, but what he wouldn’t give to be unaware of it. Valentino handed him a cup of cocoa and he took a sip. He watched as Velvette flopped down on the couch next to his daughter.
“She’s going to grow up, Vox. You can’t stop it,” Valentino warned.
“I know I can’t,” Vox replied tiredly. “But I’m not ready to lose my little girl.”
Valentino gave him an irritated look. “What are you talking about? She’s still your little girl- she always will be. And right now she needs her family to support her,” he replied as he turned and left the kitchen.
Vox sighed as he watched Val collapse on the other side of the couch. He could barely make out their chatter. After a moment, he stood up and joined them and took the seat next to reader. Concern flooded his face as he looked at his daughter. She looked pale, paler than usual.
“How are you feeling, babygirl?” He asked. He reached over and brushed the hair out of her eyes, the palm of his hand lingering on her forehead for a moment. Was it him, or did she feel warm?
“I’m okay, Daddy, just tired,” she replied quietly. “My tummy hurts. Can I go to bed?”
“Of course you can, princess,” he replied as he pulled his hand away. “I’ll be in to check on you in a bit.”
She climbed off the couch and wrapped him in a hug. “Night night, Daddy.”
“Goodnight baby.” He replied.
She did the same with Valentino and Velvette before trudging back to her room. He heard the door close and looked to Velvette.
“She felt warm, is that normal?”
Velvette rolled her eyes. “You know what? Figure it out on your own. I’m going to bed.”
“Not a bad idea to do some research, amicito,” Valentino added as he stood up. “If nothing more than to help our little princessa.”
Vox watched them both retreat back to their rooms before shutting off the lights and returning to his own bed. He pulled out his phone and hesitated for just a moment. Breaking free of the ideas that he had been so held to in life was uncomfortable to say the least. But at the same time, he felt he owed it to his little girl to at least try to understand what she was going through. And he was willing to do whatever was necessary to make sure he was the best dad he could be.
Even if it meant figuring out exactly how to handle a period.
#the vees#valentino x reader#valentino x you#hazbin hotel#hazbin fluff#vox x reader#the vees x reader#valentino#hazbin hotel vox#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#valentino hazbin hotel#vox#voxval#hazbin hotel valentino#velvette x reader#hazbin velvette#hazbin hotel velvette
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*starts listening to the thg playlist*
augh -1 health
oof -1 health
ugh! -1 health
mmf -1 health
ugh! -1 health
augh -1 health
etc
GOOD that’s the effect i wanted >:)
#i wish so badly that i could annotate it. when will my husband (8tracks annotations) come back from the war#i made a rule that i was not allowed to take any songs from the soundtracks#until it was all finished and then i can pepper the best ones in sparingly#(abraham’s daughter & gale song & everybody wants to rule the world r going on there for sure)#i wanted to make myself get really creative without the crutch of the soundtracks although they r bangers#like we HAVE to start with the woods by daughter because it’s about sisters.#and if you forget that the hunger games is a story about a girl who loves her sister you have lost the plot#o children by nick cave is about children killing and being cleaned up and shipped off on a train. like ok#eat your young is self explanatory#so is kill our way to heaven (really digs into the mentality of a tribute imo)#glory and gore is on there because i genuinely thought lorde made that song for the movie#die first? well that’s katpee to a T (people who call them everlark u are boring and people who call them peeniss that’s too much for me)#(i think katpee is the funniest ship name ever so i’m using it)#who are you really is like who are you. really. but also i have nothing left to lose / see me bare my teeth for you !!!!!!!!#GOSSIP BY MÅNESKIN. FINNICK SONG. SIP THE GOSSIP DRINK TILL YOU CHOKE.#17 by ladytron :| also a finnick song perhaps :| but works for the other victors also :| they only want you when you’re 17 :|#AND THEN FEED THE MACHINE IS SO MUCH FUN RAAAAAAAAA WTF IS A LABOR UNION HEY (HEY) YOU (YOU) FEED THE MACHINE#if you only listen to one song on the playlist is should be that one because its just such a banger#wires by the neighborhood is like help me kill the president we’re gonna send him straight to hell (and it rules)#and then feel something by jaymes young is about a young person who is emotionally damaged beyond repair 🙃 had to end it on that one
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#uh.... LOL so yada yada yada u know what im gonna talk about JDJDJD GOD HELP ME#i just realized........... that u know. usually on the 15th (bc timezones) im like super hype bc sjs birthday#but LMAO........ i so happen to be seeing.... my .... crusheroo on that day so Zjxjdjkdkdkd HOW LIFE CHANGES WOW#i didnt realize til i saw a bday (old) set of sj n i was like WAIT FUCK DID I MISS HIS BDAY. ONLY TO REALIZE. IT WAS THE SAME DAY....#hhhh but god. ya i did it. i survived a whole month without seeing him. but like bc we message or whatever occasionally (and my#frequent daydreaming lets be real) it didnt feel that long !!! wow !! proud !!@#like realistically i knew i could do it bc i went like. 4 months without seeing him JDJJDJDJDJD#god imagine. i spent the whole summer trying to get over him. only to see him 1 time n have everything come back#but WORSE. BC. RECIPROCATION?????????#god lmao. feel like im never gonna be over this. feel like i could even be married to him everyday n id be like WOW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN????#shits so weird idk. idk. im just NDJJDJDJDJD HOW DO WE GET TO THE NEXT STEP#BUT AT THE SAME TIME. I SHOULD GET TO KNOW HIM BETTER. GOD ITS SO DJFJFKKFKDKDKDKKD#like this is what its like to really like someone huh. all those other crushes i had were like.... a 0 in comparison#like wtf is this. when everyone else had crushes and liked ppl is This what they meant. jfc#idk if i could go thru this again JDJDJJDJDJD. hope hes it. ya#id promise to save everyone n never talk about this again but we both know thats not gonna happen ANDNDNDNDND#personal
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.....................well now i'm just thinking about how echo and noise could've provided a really interesting exploration of mental illness and trauma and stigmatization but canon kinda missed the mark on that one huh
#pandora hearts spoilers#tre reads#pandora hearts#echo#noise#i'm currently not coherent(?) enough to type out Actual Thoughts about this at the moment but i do think it's worth keeping in mind........#something something noise being isolated as “different” and desperately clinging to the one person who kind of understood#but then being used by that person and still losing herself anyways and. and. and#hell even vincent's shit didn't get fully unpacked in ph#dude 1000000% had ptsd. you literally cannot convince me otherwise lmao#but his “redemption”(???) happened so fast you could blink and miss it#can't even call it an “arc” lmao it's more like an immediate 180 degree turn#like no dude go back and unpack that shit. your flashbacks and scissorly compulsions aren't gonna magically go away just because-#-some pretty girl forgave you lmao. that's not how this works |D#(also we need justice for ada btw?? she deserved so much more than just being oz's cute little sister and vincent's target-turned-salvation#(like. why is her only genuine hobby shown from vincent's pov and turned into comic relief. like literally wtf)#i actually feel really bad for noise. like. can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you wouldn't have turned out like her-#-if you were in her situation#i never really liked her but i also don't think she's an inherently bad character or anything#(or at the very least she's really no worse than vincent. and god only knows how many people are lining up to forgive HIM)#she's just a very very traumatized and lonely one who never got a chance to heal until right before she LITERALLY FUCKING DIED#she and vincent both make sooooo much more sense as characters once you've learned their backstories#i just wish we could've seen more of the actual healing process for both of them instead of just. glossing over it. god fucking damn it
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Just woke up from a. wild dream. Where i had a whirlwind romance with the musician Käärijä while he was on a world tour. And his nickname for me was. Leo????? I've never used that name before in my life???
#it was. an experience#cause it started out with just. we weren't dating but he had invited me to be with him on his transportation and sit next to him#and i got to watch a bunch from back stage and even GO on stage a bit. i was SUPER clumsy though. and someone high up DID NOT LIKE ME#so when the Big Confession of him declarin his love happened. i was supposed to be dressed in a very pretty princess outfit but they TRAPPED#ME AND HAD SOMEONE ELSE DRESS UP. and he was like. hey wtf. thats not Leo. and he had to go get me and he jelped me get all the bits and#bobs of the outfit put on and then we danced on stage
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TOM BLYTH WHITE BOY OF THE FUCKING YEAR
#bro.#Brooo.#I must be ovulating the way I am going feral over this man#the genvy feelings too like bro had me sitting there like am I straight or am I trans bc wtf#they butchered all the good bits from the beginning tho like I was literally sitting there like#he did not fucking say that#and like to leave out/ alter that first kiss she gave him like BROOOOO that establishes his whole arc and change of heart like that woman!!!#was the reason!!!#she slayed so so hard too her fucking VOICE#first act curls man I was like white boy of the year omg#buzz cut eta I was like this could be Ronan pynch if you squint#then realized he was not supposed to be that fucking tall#we didn’t get a training montage#we also didn’t get to go back to the seam#and the arena was so fucked up like my dude I was picturing like a fucking distopian mile high field or coors field like a football stadium#esp with the beams parts w lamina she was supposed to slay climbing#and REAPER bro his death wasn’t supposed to go that way#so much downtime and delvopmental scenes were cut and I get it like it’s a 450 page book but ough#of all the inaccuracies the kids thing pissed me off the most#or the shed gun scene#ALSO actually what made me mad too is the end like you can SOO tell they filmed that shit in or around Vancouver#bc it’s second growth pine forest with no undergrowth like bro that is not a fucking wilderness#and made the pursuit scene so much less exciting#he did have his full metal jacket moment tho good for him#AND the Sejanus storyline thry made it so heavyhanded#with the rebel colluding like he was so obvious#so much telling not showing#AND CLEMMIE#they fucked her OVER BRO SHE HAD NO LINES BASICALLY#and I wish they’d had Arachne killed by throat slitting that was so raw in the book
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#i wanted to ask wtf terapagos even had to do with any of the paradox pokemon stuff?#but actually after u finish the main story of indigo disk therea a little epilogue if u go back to the crystal lake#and i guess the implication is that terapagos can cause time travel?#how many time travelling creatures do we need gamefreak/j#all in all sick dlc#also!! hassel knows drayden? enough so that drayden complains to him about his grandson? i need more lore right now#all compaints about the newer pokemon games aside i do really like that we get to know the characters more?#old games where u get to see a gym leader Twice if ur lucky and thats it#good luck with ur blorbo now i guess#at least now we get blorbo content
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i have literally nowhere else to put this i apologise for the spam. the absolute best thing to come out of s3 trent is without a doubt the fucking earnestness... like in s1-2 he always came across as a very self-assured kind of guy, who knew how he came off (ie: intimidating) and enjoyed it. but seeing that paired with him being silly + completely relaxing in certain company??? pulling ridiculous faces at vodka + scrunching up his nose when he smiles @ colin + making the most ABSURD 'i really wanna say something right now but i feel like im interrupting' noises ive ever heard in my fucking LIFE??? its like. he is cool as shit and he is self assured AND he can make dumb fucking sherlock holmes jokes and dance ridiculously. its like!!!! he's lame but he's also not bc he's exactly as confident in being lame as he is being cool. do u see the vision. he has killed the part of him that cringes!!!! its just.. that unshakeable self confidence that u see in his fucking swaggers into frame includes all of himself + his different moods and eccentricities and that's just so based to me idk. unironically live ur best life wear the loudest combination of prints and patterns and primary colours uve ever seen in ur life while espousing the virtues of extended museum hours!!! contain multitudes! get silly with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ted lasso spoilers#combined with james lance's hc abt trent's past its just. like!!#the growth from 'i can't be what you want me to be so im going to be Better than them + tear them down'#-> 'i know my reputation so im going to lean into that + be ruthless + intimidating' ->#'actually fuck this? fuck this! im just gonna be me and if anyone has a problem w then L To Them I'm Actually Living'#also this is just my hcs at this point but like. i do think ted helped a lot w the latter part of this process in so much as. ted embodied#someone who was Visibly weak + vulnerable and had no armour/no sense of self preservation#(the opposite of trent's persona) and made no effort to change anything abt himself to prevent attack. obviously ted has a lot of social +#class advantages that make that less risky for him than it would be for others but like. u get the drift#and i THINK. seeing how without that armour/facade ted was able to be rlly direct + earnest w connecting w ppl#like asking an interviewer 'what do u love?' and rlly genuinely wanting to know the answer#and bc TRENT was specifically in the position of 'i could fucking destroy u rn and u wouldn't put up a fight'#that kind of. shifted his perspective a bit? like. damn what would that say abt me if i wrote a hit piece on this guy rn#i disagree VERY strongly w the idea that trent's more positive character development moments happened ONLY bc of ted (i don't think that's#true for anyone in the show tbh) BUT i think ted's presence at a pivotal point in his life was what helped him confront the fact that#at this stage in his life all his intellectual armour was doing was making him into someone Mean rather than just incisive#like. 'is this a fucking joke' is not cutting journalism. u get me??#and arguably that's a fine and even safe choice to make when ur younger and have no support/reputation backing u up#but after decades? its like man wtf are we doign here if were literally just living preventatively#smth smth i hope i am not just a tumblr blog to u but a blog who is inventing the brain chemistry of a sitcom side character#w each new episode they watch. trent crimm is my best friend irl i know he would have scorching hot takes abt each new season of survivor#and would earnestly heckle the jury and final 3 alike
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I love him 🥺 he took care of me today
#Something came over me and I was so nervous I started crying???#I don't even know. I was nervous and scared of getting hurt and it just. Was weird. Not like I haven't been on Mae bareback.#And he just stood there. Waiting.#So patient.#And then I got on his back and just sat there. Still kinda crying. And he still just stood there.#And I was wobbly bc it's been a while and I don't ride like I used to but he walked with no issue.#And when we trotted I was wobbly and grabbed his mane and he was a little 'wtf' and scooted forward a bit#But after it happened a few times he got used to it. Just kept going and didn't misstep. Even when my legs weren't certain or I was grippin#His mane and hunching over on myself to try and keep balance (don't do that lol I was fixing my seat and balance but generally- don't#Go into the fetal position while riding#it fucks up your balance#We had a couple moments where he was trying to figure out what I was asking him and he was giving the wrong answer so i had to stop#And restart what we were doing. But he was so good. So much less reactive than I was expecting.#I officially love him lol#Malik
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asked for help with my wip and i am being about as brave about it as my dog was at the vet this afternoon* (*not brave at all)
#i was like if i complete my homework i can write a long email abt it. i have written neither email nor done homework#keats was not brave!!! he tried to crawl up my chest to get away from the vet but he is a geriatric yorkie and not a lizard#so he did not get very far#then the vet forgot to give him his shot so we had to go back to the vet later. pulled up into the parking lot and he was like wtf wtf wtf#now he is sulking bc his butt hurts from the shot#and i'm out here doing none of the things i needed to do today#fresno oilers.txt
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anyways im. DEEP INHALE im doing better now. im still incredibly pissy and do feel bad for the way i snapped at them. but im less "im going to throw hands w a 17 yr old" more "I shall now be letting the worms take me and or just gonna go in the backyard and shriek like a banshee"
#jackals barks#the reason it boiled over finally is stupid too UGH#they agreed to watch the smalls instead of going to the mall once he got home from church. bc mom needed to get medicine and some stuff#bc shes been sick like *horribly* did not test positive for covid but the symptoms are 😬#and they fuckin call like 'oh but cant he stay alone bc her brother is here-' BITCH TF YOU MEAN HER BROTHER IS HERE FIRST OFF??#second off! you! brought up! the idea!! bc the smalls been having issues and doesn't need to be left alone!#like. we're worried hes developing ocd kind of having issues#so we had to go back and get him. and i was like 'wtf is wrong with you' an they said they didn't know and. yeah#thats where i blew up like you cannot be deadass with this? you act like you don't wanna be here so bad leave
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my haaaaaands are still fucked uuuuuup but when they’re unfucked up i’m gonna draw smth so sexy and delicious for my new skyrim oc i can see the comp in my mind’s eye it’d just make my hands fall off if i tried to draw it
#he’s a liiiiiiitle bit of a serial killer so i’m envisioning him in like a white gown/robe with his hair up like in fucking. ella enchanted#in the garden with caryalind thallery but the knife behind his back is just coated in blood and there’s a pile of bodies behind him that we#can see but cary can’t see. i LOVE cary btw if you haven’t tried him as a follower highly highly recommend#vaynis is a character i didn’t think i’d get all that attached to i just wanted to try out the ancient falmer mod and then i got like. SO#attached to him immediately. he’s not actually an ancient falmer he’s just like. a non betrayed falmer who’s 23. his dad was like the#ultimate ‘i survive everything bc i’m good at hiding’ kinda guy who was a child when the snow prince died and he just fucked off into the#jerall mountains for forever basically. and another falmer (much younger) stumbled on him up there and was like ‘dude wtf if you have#immortality magic why do you live in a wizard shack in the mountains’ and he was like ‘well. i’m wicked scared all the time you see’#so in exchange for teaching her the immortality spell he was like ‘will you have a baby with me so the falmer don’t die out’ and she was#like ‘yeah ok but i’m not raising this fucking baby. i’m leaving i’m not a mom. you won’t make me a mom’ and he was like ‘yeah sure ok’#secretly thinking if he built her a tower she’d stay. so every day he’d build the tower bit by bit with magic and everyday she’d plan to#leave and like in a fairytale they had the ‘i’m going to leave’ ‘i know’ conversation but then vaynis was born and she actually DID leave bc#she wasn’t a mom! she told him that! but he was like shocked bc he was a moron. and so he locked vaynis in his wizard tower and only let him#out to teach him how to hunt and track and forage. and vaynis really wanted to see the world but his dad would never change. so he planned#to leave and he picked himself out a nice breton adventurer to seduce into taking him along only when his dad found out he killed the breton#and locked vaynis back in the tower. and vaynis waited and watched and planned and pretended like he was sorry. and then one day he#knifed him in his sleep. and took his shit and escaped. but auriel wasn’t super happy about that so he shipwrecked him. and ever since theb#vaynis has been pretty pathetic. he’s working on it but like. it really is kinda embarassing to watch. anyway his new scheme for glory is to#join the thalmor and he IS really pretty so this thalmor agent in solitude was like ‘hey the heir to the aldmeri dominion is also here and#we like. really need him back and with his head in the game. the nords are stupid they think you’re a altmer but like. i know a bitch whose#race is supposed to be extinct when i see one. you seduce caryalind thallery back into line and we’ll help you do whatever you wanna do to#restore the falmer. ideally it’s integrate with us.’ so vaynis obviously takes that fucking opportunity but problems arise bc caryalind#isn’t quite as seduceable as previously thought. yeah he’s flirty but he’s also looking for something serious and trying to become a better#person. so vaynis is on a journey of ‘get aldmeri prince to marry me and have his baby to achieve greatness’ when they stumble into helgen#after alduin attacks (bc as we all know i’m addicted to the ‘the prisoner dies and akatosh has to pick a new dragonborn’ narrative’ and he#) and akatosh picks vaynis honestly? to be funny. i love interpreting akatosh as a smartass it’s so funny to me#‘yeah there’s a whole world riding on this but like. wouldn’t it be kinda hilarious to see what happens?’#alternatively maybe akatosh and auriel are one in the same. you decide#anyway becoming the dragonborn really complicates this plan like. MOST severely
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Could Clark Kent survive Castle Dracula? (My instinctive answer: He could not avoid getting bitten, but him getting bitten would merely result in Dracula breaking a tooth)
Oh my God that's too funny...
He... he needs a mirror to shave! He has to bounce his laser vision off the mirror! Razor blades don't work on him! Imagine Dracula sneaking up behind him and being just like "...what the fuck."
How heavy is he? Dracula tries to carry him back to his room post Girlies and is like "God what are they eating in Kansas???"
And Clark... well of course he keeps up the façade. He's very good at that and it makes Dracula so mad.
There's no way he lets a kid get eaten. While Dracula is fighting with the girlies he really quickly takes the baby back home and then comes back to continue being passed out on the couch. They're like "so shall we have nothing?" and Dracula gives them the bag and they're like "wow this empty." And Dracula has to fake it and be like "yeah cuz that's what you deserve" when he's actually like "........wtf I know I had a kid in that sack Where Did It Go"
Dracula thinks he's going insane. If he had a shadow he'd be jumping at it. And Clark, massive troll, is just like mmm yes do tell me more about Transylvanian history the article is coming along really nicely.
Now it is entirely possible the trance does work on him. But it doesn't matter because, as you say, Dracula breaks his teeth on his neck. At which point he's just like "screw this I'm moving to England" and nopes on outta there.
Like Superman can fly. He can literally just leave whenever. He only stays the full two months to troll Dracula and it works.
So yeah. Clark Kent can survive Castle Dracula
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I feel like I should get to not question reality every single day at least for lesbian visibility week. Let me have this plz
#just let me be a lesbian in peace and not always spiral into whether any of this is real#I had the worst fucking dream and it completely ruined my day genuinely#I was not me. some girl with black hair that was a lot young and I was going on the bus with my older sister#it was normal. we step on the bus then it cuts back to like another day#and as I’m getting up from the porch to go to the bus my mom in this persons life stabs my#dad and I just watch#and I call the police bc WTF JUST HAPPENED#and as I’m calling the lady on the phone is asking me again and again if I need someone#and suddenly my hands aren’t so small their larger. I’m not a little girl I’m all grown up#and I’ve just called 911 in a fit of remember a past trauam#the lady starts shaming me and saying crazy ladies need to stop calling#so I’m upset and I go outside to where a massive white heron is#and we talk. I feed him I fill up the fountain in our yard#but I keep questioning if he’s real#bc randomly he just switches to a boy that looks like me#we walk up the road and are called crazy by these kids playing hopscotch who don’t let him join in#ofc I’m angry bc their being mean to my son who is also a heron but maybe not?#and as I’m walking back home with my heron/son beside me he disappears and I wake up#just gasping trying to know if my son was real if he was a heron or if he was even a boy#and mind you I am not me. I’m a whole new person the ‘parents’ are not my own look nothing like my own family#I’ve also never had a porch that leads to the road or had my#mom kill my dad obv. or a son obv#it’s just plagued my day. it felt so real. not knowing if any of it was real felt so vivid and strong#it almost hurt. like I feel#like I can’t breathe now#it’s just confusing#my dreams#vent tag#kinda is I mean it wasn’t a fun experience#ruse rambles
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#I AM SO STRESSED OUT TODAY IM LIKE SHAKING AND VIBRATING IN MY BAG OF SOUR PATCH KIDS#the watermelon ones#okay i was supposed to get a package today but it needed to be signed for BUT i had an appointment#my dad was home so i let him know i was getting a package that needed to be signed for and he agrees to watch for it#okay cool! i aksed him last night#as i was leaving for my appointment this morning he was asleep#i was like okay... hes probably gonna wake up soon its like 1030am#so i get back and what do i see as i get to the front door?#a note from ups saying sorry we missed you! see you in one business day#its friday so that means id have to wait until monday#😡😡😡😡😡😡#im like wtf! i go in the house and hes still sleeping!!!!!!#by this time its like 1230pm#im so mad!!! i had to make phonecalls today#it was awful#im shaking lmaoooo#like... youre not allowed to wake my dad up either cause he'll like.. bite your head off#but like?? mf did you forget?? i asked you to watch the door#and he goe oh haha i went to bed at 6am!! ☺️☺️#mf this aint funny!!!!!#i made 3 phonecalls and im getting my package today but that was so awful like 4 hours of my day was just being on hold with two companies#shaking and crying and throwing up#but instead of it getting delivered to me i have to go pick it up in east bumfuck#so they call me to tell me that when the truck comes back they'll call me so i can go get it#and i check the store theyre sending me to and its closed?!?!?#so i call AGAIN and they tell me nope thats ok someone will be there for when the truck driver returns#I FUCKING HOPE SO WHAT A MESS#this is no ones fault but my own for thinking i could rely on mfs!#my therapy appt had me FEELING and i just come home to that#im 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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