anyways im. DEEP INHALE im doing better now. im still incredibly pissy and do feel bad for the way i snapped at them. but im less "im going to throw hands w a 17 yr old" more "I shall now be letting the worms take me and or just gonna go in the backyard and shriek like a banshee"

little over a week before my trip to mu uncle’s my best friend told me she had been taking care of little girl for a few hours when her mom told her the little was feeling unwell. they went to the hospital & tested positive for covid. i told her to get pcr test asap but she said she went home & wanted to wait & see if she got any symptoms beforehand. i said it was fine but just stay put in her room & not make any food for her family bc that was how i got my family sick back in jan. well, the day that i was traveling out of the city, right as i was finishing getting ready she called me to say she was feeling an itchy throat & had a headache.she said she was setting up the appointment for her test for the next day & i told her to again stay put until her results came in 48 hrs after. this would be on friday but she said she was planning on going back to help out w that little girl on monday bc she & her mom were feeling better. i got so pissed i told her i had to hang up & finish packing. i was already done packing but i was so mad i had write my part on message bc i knew if i continued the call o was going to scream at her & cause a fight. so i did that & she replied that the test wouldn’t matter bc she was going back anyways & the mom was fine bc she didn’t care abt covid, hadn’t even gotten vaccinated. i didnt reply bc i was abt to board & i was growing livid + i had shit i had to be busy with instead of this. i think having those messages sitting in my inbox every time i went to reply to someone else bc i didn’t really enjoy my trip as much as i could have & it took me over two weeks to reply. but i knew i had to do it bc her birthday is tomorrow & i would feel horrible if i didn’t try to reach back again & idk… mend things before that. i just. i don’t know what else to say besides i’m surprised she’s letting herself be influenced by someone so irresponsible of her own children, so i messaged her that.

idk. i feel like i might be exaggerating things… but i mean, isn’t this kind of behavior why we can’t fucking get out of a pandemic??? i know it might be hypocritical of me considering i literally line up for two hours to cross the border like 3 times a week & spend at least 4 hrs in a store full of people. but at least i’m trying take precautions. i never take my mask off unless i’m drinking or waiting. no matter how hot i’m getting. i’m washing my hands every time i go back. i’ve been sleeping on a very tiny couch at home almost every night since i came home just in case, esp after i started getting a scratchy throat which was nothing bc im currently sharing a bed w my sister & i don’t want her to get sick.

again i dont know what to do & i don’t wanna end our friendship over this bc we’ve been friends for so long & really do care for her & i love her dearly. i want her to be well & healthy & happy so i was pushing her to at least make sure she had covid so she could take proper care of herself. the uncle i visited is a doctor w his own private practice in a low income area in monterrey & he told us so many sad stories while i was there that i wish i could have recorded him to show her later. cuz even tho we both are social recluses & our lives didn’t change much post this whole ordeal, it doesn’t mean that we should be treating it so lightly. or maybe i’m just being annoying & wanting to be right. i just don’t know

Rant about people during the pandemic

I’ve always been a person who hosts game nights or holiday themed events and I do it in my one bedroom apartment lol but the last one I hosted was a New Year’s party in 2019 going into 2020 and every time I thought to host after that I wasn’t in the mood really or my friends were spread out all over and there’s always the looming anxiety that someone is gonna show up sick.

I finally hosted again last night a Grinch Game Night so that everyone could see my Whoville decorations up close and someone did show up sick 😀 I’m crossing my fingers that what she had was just a regular cold 😀

She didn’t say anything ahead of time and she had already been there for so long before she started talking about how on Christmas she did go with her bf to visit his parents and I already knew that his parents were sick with Covid so I’m sure I made a face bc why did y’all go?? Okay it’s Christmas but they have Covid it’s okay to NOT GO INTO THEIR HOUSE AND SIT WITH THEM! She was like oh yeah they were all masked up okay whatever and then later goes on to say how her bf is staying with her rn and she went to go sleep in her guest room bc he’s so congested 😀😀 and each night he comes to find her anyway 😀 like y’all went to see his parents and now he’s congested 😀😀 and you’re in the same house with him and you came to mine ??? 😀 WHY? And she even tried to bring him asking me if my game night was co Ed and I was like no bc I don’t have any guys friends lol but she would’ve brought his congested ass to the game night ??? And she coughed a few times and drank water so I thought it was just idek 😩 a dry throat or something

I had my windows open and my HEPA air purifier going so I’m hoping that was enough and I lysoled everything as soon as she left. It’s just like 😩 why are people like this?? This wasn’t going to be the game night of the century it’s okay to say you’re not feeling well and stay home! I literally haven’t gone anywhere while I was feeling any kind of symptoms and it’s not hard at all! Don’t even think anyone remembers smh and then it puts me in the horrible position of having to be a bitch about it bc what was I supposed to even do in that situation? Slap a mask on her and kick her out? Probably 😭 I literally don’t know how I would do that.

I’m also the only one of not just my friends but family and people I know that still wears a mask to places and they tell me stories of sick people around them and sick coworkers coming into the office and how they “hope” they don’t catch anything but it’s like …just wear the mask and you won’t catch anything 🙄

A couple weeks ago my aunt was telling me how sick she felt on Wednesday and how she felt sick on Monday and Tuesday and she had showed up unmasked to my apt Sunday to have coffee with me and I’m like 😩😩 BROOO and she kept saying how “it’s the AC at work that is making her cough” I tell her that’s not a thing and tell her to take a Covid test she’s like oh she doesn’t have any….so I had to bring her tests and then she was like I HAVE to stay with her to take it bc she doesn’t know how to do it and I was wearing my N95 bc I know her and that positive line was so dark so fast smh and she still had the audacity to say “the AC activated the Covid on me” like wtf are you even talking about?? 🙄 meanwhile she works in a doctors office wearing those thin blue masks that she claims suffocate her and idek if she wears them all day for real or if she just says that to me bc she knows how I feel about masks and then she went unmasked to Christmas caroling at her church and it’s now two weeks later and she’s still feeling sick and testing positive (she’s also unvaxed and thinks saying in Jesus name is enough 🙄) and she has to go get groceries so I tell her to wear a real mask and not that useless ass blue one and she goes I don’t have any masks 🙄 of course you don’t it’s been 3 years of her taking a handful of my masks bc she refuses to get her own and she finally bought some KF94s and some N95s but why did it take you getting Covid and seeing that it’s not a joke to buy your own masks?? idek I’m just so turned off by everyone.

And by no means am I like a perfect mask wearer like I still go out to restaurants and clubs but I don’t go to the bigger ones anymore and I use my nasal spray for the time that I’m there and that’s been working for me so far. Sometimes I forget to put one on in the Uber but most times I have mine on the driver puts theirs on too so that’s nice. And I was traveling earlier this month and sooooo many people were coughing ugly coughs unmasked echoing each other and had the nerve to look at me weird for wearing a mask like they’re not a walking test tube of illnesses 🥴

I just don’t understand what the problem is like is it denial?? Delusion?? Fear?? None of it makes any sense to me bc if you’re afraid why not take precautions? If you’re gonna feel embarrassed and keep your sickness a secret why not take precautions? Also why claim that your Covid symptoms are these random ass illnesses instead of just taking a test and finding out? The entire 3 years only one person recently has been sick and thought it was Covid and it was actually bronchitis. Everyone else I know that’s been sick over the 3 years has been sick with Covid. One person I know refused to take a test bc they were sure it wasn’t Covid even after listing all the symptoms and was like “actually it’s just a summer flu” mmmm I doubt it bc you just came back from a work conference 🙄 I even have a friend who works at a daycare and no one masks and they are sick at least once a month bc they catch whatever random virus these kids are carrying that week and they act like that’s just life and there’s nothing they can do about it smh

I guess I’m just tired of being the only one.

omggg look at you 👀 bf very soon?? i did have to google what a wag was i’m sorry hahaha i think i get it but eeek so cute i’m excited for you!!

but yeah i’m alright, definitely sick of being sad and i am mostly over it or like that actual thing anyway just everything else that’s come from it has been draining (i’m so sick of fucking crying 😂) i also have learnt why i hate wine and why i stopped drinking it so never touching a drop of wine ever again lol

the whole of nz! i know it doesn’t sound like much in comparison to other countries, we are also a lot smaller than other countries too though. just to jump from 260 being the most to then in 3 days it’s basically 1000 is like 😬 one of my friends who’s gone over the uk was saying how it’s crazy that everyone over there has pretty much had it! i hope your family recovers quickly though 🥺 i still don’t know a single person over here who’s had it which is crazy cause everyone knows everyone here haha

ahh constant dizziness sounds horrible, have you ever had a positive test before?? i’ve only been tested twice from being in like locations (only once with symptoms) but i feel like the symptoms of covid are just how i normally feel so i never know haha

OMG not primary school drama hahahaha i love when kids tell you drama about people they don’t like at school it’s so cute and funny hahaha IM SORRY SIZE 10???? that can’t be normal

#💛

i don’t know, honestly… if we do get together then i don’t think it will be soon. i’ve only known him a week and we’ve both said that we want to take things slow so i can’t imagine it being like soon? idk it feels weird like he’s really nice and we do genuinely get on so well but i can’t picture myself in a relationship at all, commitment and having to talk ab feelings and all that stuff genuinely terrifies me

hahaha omg not the wine 😩 i feel that tho! i cant drink straight wine anymore, i need to dilute it with lemonade

okay yes now that you say it like that i totally get it! it’s a small island and i presume most of your population is clustered in big cities/towns?

no, i’ve never had a positive test! but yeah… i think i’m the only person that i know that hasn’t had it… and I’ve known people who have had it multiple times!

no it’s so hilarious! you see my cousin likes adam but adam is going out with chloe (size 10 feet) but they’re on again off again and adam may have cheated on chloe with lily who was cheating on sam (girl sam not boy sam) it’s a MESS

and yes the 10 year old has size 10 adult feet 😭 it was so funny bc my cousin just came out with it one day last year (so she was a size 9 back then), we drove past her walking home and she just sighed so loud and said “there goes chloe with the size 9 feet” and it was one of those things that it just came out of nowhere that i couldn’t stop laughing I THOUGHT SHE WAS JOKING