Three Days ~ 16

*~*Sebastian*~*

I really should be given a lot of credit for how long I stayed away from Emma.

Day one I couldn't stop holding her hand. Day two I had to touch her. Day three all I want to do is hold her. Well, not all I want.

Since I woke up with her in my arms there's a part of my brain constantly on the look out for how to get her back there. I have to admit I’m not super confident because my brain has failed me numerous times in trying to figure out kissing her. Had it helped me out with the kissing I wouldn't be so fucking desperate to hold her. Probably wouldn't be talking so much to myself either, but that isn't really unusual. Maybe just different topics.

My mom is having fun with this. I'm not always translating everything she says. She told me Emma was beautiful and she understood why I hadn't come home. She told me I had to work for at least an hour before I could see her. Then she sent her to the opposite side of the house from me and stood guard across the hall.

When I was "allowed" to see Emma again I scared the shit out of her. It was fucking hilarious. When I grabbed her into my arms I held her head against my chest so maybe she wouldn't know I couldn't stop laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing until she ran her hands down my back. It was the same barely there sensual touch that went from my shoulder diagonally down and around to the side of my stomach. I closed my eyes to enjoy it and imagined it didn't stop there. So when she led me into the guest room, a room with a bed, it took every ounce of self-control in my body not to throw her on the bed and cover her with me.

The picture snapped me out of those thoughts. It had been years since I’d seen it. It was full of happy memories of a good time in an otherwise gray period. I wasn't old enough and I think mom shielded me from much. She tried to make whatever food we got something fun for us to build meals around. It wasn’t that we didn’t have food. We didn’t have a lot and we didn’t have choices. We played a form of bingo with what we'd get. Meat, dairy, and fruit were coveted. Except that one weird cheese that we got every six weeks or so. Nothing made it not horrible.

I can't remember telling any other girlfriend about how the beach in a communist country taught me freedom and curiosity that culminated in me being in a NASA movie. Coolest thing ever. Now I’m in the guest room telling secrets I barely remember. Frightening secrets for a kid. There's really no way to escape that without carry some things with you. I don't talk much about Romania because I don’t remember much, but what I do remember I don’t really want to talk about. I wonder if my mom planted the picture for me to share a happy memory.

I dropped Emma off at the kitchen and went back to the family room. Anthony and I headed out to the garage to find a couple of things he knew were missing from the room. Back inside we started arranging things. The kitchen wasn't far away. Every so often I'd catch words or a sentence. They were talking about winters and snow removal. I listened closer when mom asked where and how long she'd lived here. Nothing I didn't know. As Emma explained where her place was, she told mom about local shops and answered questions about the area. Very sweet.

Meanwhile in the family room we got things arranged based on where the TV hung on the wall and came to the realization it was all wrong. I yelled for mom. Emma followed her into the room. Mom looked around, "This is all wrong."

A ridiculous amount of time later we'd rearranged everything. The only thing left was for me to move the TV and rewire everything. I'd be an expert by the time we were done. Mom suggested a break and went to get beers.

I flopped onto the couch and when it looked like Emma was going to sit too far away, I grabbed her hand to pull her closer. Damn near landed her in my lap. Wouldn't have been a bad thing. I recreated the scene from the bench last night with my arm around her shoulder and her holding my hand. That left each of us with a free hand for beer. Emma turned a little where she was leaned against me and laid her head back on my shoulder. I buried my nose in her hair, breathing her in until mom brought back beer.

I doubt this was what Emma had in mind when I suggested she come with me. Mom and Anthony were talking so I gave Emma's shoulders a squeeze to get her attention. "Not much of a rest day for you. I'm feeling selfish. I wanted to spend more time with you.” I was coming clean. I wasn't going to apologize because that would be a lie.

She smiled, a sweet almost shy smile, that made my stomach flutter. "I wanted to spend more time with you too." Her smile tuned to a smirk, "So don't suggest taking me home unless you're ready for me to leave. I'm enjoying myself."

"No problem."

Mom's voice broke the moment, "Emma, have you had Romanian food? We were thinking dinner and a movie. If my son gets the TV hooked up."

"You've just given me motivation, mom."

I felt Emma laugh more than heard her. "No, I haven't and sounds great. Thank you."

Anthony stood up, "Let's get back at it."

Mom excused Emma from the kitchen after Anthony and I got the TV sorted. He went to his office. Mom stayed in the kitchen and I got an assistant for hanging shit and putting up books. There were an obscene number of books. Thankfully they were sorted into boxes in a way that made alphabetizing them by author not so much a pain in the ass. The ease with which Emma alphabetized the titles within each author was super hero like. My job was to hand them to her. By the respectful way she handled them I knew she loved books. She took a stack from me, "Do you like to read?"

I nodded, "I've read most of these. I’ve always liked to read. I do a lot of reading to research characters.”

"Like what?"

I went with the most obvious. "For the Winter Soldier and Bucky I read a lot about psychopaths and PTSD. They’re really two different characters, maybe four.. True crime procedural stuff for Destroyer. Way more space shit than I needed for the Martian. Loved the book."

"Do you prefer non-fiction to fiction?"

"Pretty equal. I'm usually reading a couple of books at a time. I switch back and forth. I love Harlan Coben from before they were making his books movies. Have you read anything of his?"

Her eyes shifted up as she thought. "The one that was a French film. His wife dies then like ten years later he gets a message."

At the same time we said, "Tell No One."

I continued, "Loved that one. He writes lots of those thriller mysteries and has a series about a detective. Lots of humor and his best friend is a millionaire sociopath. Those are fun. Always reread classics and my favorite novel is changing all the time. A lot of mindfulness, Buddhism."

Her eyes lit up, "Have you read Illusions by Richard Bach?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"It was written in the seventies. We passed it around in college. Once you read it you had to buy a copy, highlight some of your favorite bits and give it away. Basically, a Messiah is training his replacement. He gives him a handbook only the pages are empty, except when he opens it, he finds answers."

"I think you can do that with anything. Even a newspaper." This was turning into another one of those great conversations like music and movies. I knew it would.

She was nodding quickly, "Me too. It is full of short insights. My favorite is "You're never given a wish without the power to make it come true. You might have to work on it, however." It's a faux Christian eastern religion self-help novel."

I laughed, "That's great."

"Yeah, we'd get high at frat parties and talk in Illusion and movie quotes." She snorted laugh.

"Did you break into the pantry for snacks like we did?"

"Of course. Always cheese."

I was amused by the thought of Emma as a grunge loving stoned psuedo intellectual. Made me remember my days as an 80's music loving stoned theater major space nerd. College was fun.

Back to books. "What's your guilty pleasure reading?"

"This is my Jessie's Girl." We shared a smile. "I love paranormal romance."

"Paranormal romance? "I repeated." Ghosts and shit?"

"Oh no. Vampires, dragons, shapeshifters."

I couldn't hide my smile, "Way worse than Jessie's Girl."

She glared at me, "It's close."

Her glare turned to a smile then a laugh and I had to hug her. I wanted to hold on to the moment, take in how much fun this was. The conversation, the teasing. She felt like an old friend I'd just met. Only with a lot more sexual attraction. The kind that had me noticing how every curve of her body was pressed against me. Had me wanting to run my hands on top of her clothes before moving underneath them. Wishing she'd slide her hand under my shirt so I could feel her touch my skin.

I took a step back, "Hit me with the details."

She laughed again, "There's two series I love. Some variation of a testosterone filled alpha male who thinks he's rescuing a woman who ends up being his soulmate and saves him. One is grounded is Greek mythology and finding his mate can literally free his soul and the other creates its own mythology. One or both always have a heartbreaking past, there's something they have to go through, and then the happy ending. They're well written and incredibly satisfying."

"Do you believe in that?"

She drew her eyebrows together, "Happily ever after?"

I shook my head, "Soulmates."

Emma looked at the ceiling, screwed up her face, then looked back at me. "The chickenshit answer is people come into our lives for a reason and go away when they’ve served their purpose."

I wasn't so sure. "Not necessarily chickenshit."

"I meant the safe answer.” She bit her lip and continued, “I do believe in soulmates. But I don't think there's necessarily one person for anyone. A soulmate a twenty might be different than a soulmate at forty. People change and grow, so it makes sense your perfect partner might not stay perfect. You can grow together or grow in different directions.  I'm a hopeful romantic."

I liked that. "I think some people use the concept of soulmate to not work for it. It takes a lot of work and vulnerability to be with another person. Hell, to be with yourself. It's hard to be honest with yourself sometimes, forget about laying yourself bare to another person." I shook my head, not believing the strange direction this had gone. "I'm not always that brave."

We'd gone from laughter to this intensely intimate place. I'm talking about how difficult it can be to be vulnerable, which is a very vulnerable thing to do. Maintaining eye contact was hard.

"Everyone struggles with being brave.”

The matter of fact way she spoke reminded me of the gym when we were talking about insecurities. This was the second time I’d shared something and she didn’t try to convince me I was wrong. She accepted what I’d said as true for me. She’d accepted me. Well, now, there’s a thing. I smiled. “I think it’s about finding someone you’re ok being afraid with and is brave enough to be afraid too."

Slowly she started to smile, “Awfully deep conversation we’re having.”

“No shit! How the fuck did we get here?”  I shook my head and laughed. “I think we were talking about Jessie’s Girl.”

“Yeah, that’s it.” She joined in laughing before learning forward to lay her forehead on my shoulder.

I put my hand on the back of her neck and leaned my head against hers.

He's just broken the nation’s hearts as the tragic anti-hero of BBC One’s Sunday-night sensation The Trial Of Christine Keeler – but James Norton’s next role has made the heartthrob actor “proud to become an honorary Welshman”.

In the title role of new film Mr Jones, Norton – already a favourite with bookmakers to be the next James Bond – takes on one of the most challenging projects of his career, playing a real-life yet forgotten hero from Wales who dared to combat and uncover one of history’s most shameful episodes of “fake news” from nearly a century ago.

James Norton at the Mr Jones screening at the London Film Festival

“Playing Gareth Jones was sometimes a tough call,” says 34-year-old Norton, known to millions from small-screen hits Grantchester and Happy Valley.

“In fact, when I first got the part and they told me it was going to be a Welshman who spoke both fluent Welsh and Russian, and all of it in a Welsh accent – that felt a bit scary!”

He needn’t have worried. As Gareth Jones, the mild-mannered young Western Mail reporter who travelled to Russia in 1933 and ended up blowing the whistle over the appalling truth about Stalin’s “Utopian” regime – and a hushed-up famine that killed untold millions – Norton presents us with a charming, softly-spoken hero with just a hint of a refined Welsh lilt.

It’s a million miles from those cliched, grating attempts at Welsh accents so often taken on by other English actors. ( Stephen Graham’s DCI “Taff” Jones in ITV’s White House Farm, anyone?).

Reports have emerged this week of Gareth’s great-nephew attacking the film for having “invented multiple fictions” – but as far as Norton is concerned, he feels the film stands as an honest and heartfelt reflection of Gareth’s character and incredible yet fatefully short life.

“We decided it was important to respect and honour Gareth’s journey – this Welshman from a small coastal town who ended up on this huge, bizarre and brave mission taking on one of the pillars of the 1930s political landscape in a very dangerous, pre-war Communist Russia,” says Norton, who worked with two Welsh dialect coaches to perfect his accent.

“So it made sense that Gareth would have maybe intentionally softened his Welsh accent, having been educated at Cambridge, in order to ingratiate himself in the community and then travelling the world. We wanted to keep it there without making it too distracting.”

Nevertheless, Norton – London-born but raised in North Yorkshire – was still required to speak Welsh in a few scenes, and Russian as well.

“I’ve never spoken either language before and I’m not a linguist – so I had my work cut out,” says Norton, who can also currently be seen on the big screen in the Oscar-nominated hit movie Little Women.

“But for those few months, I was very proud to become an honorary Welshman. My scenes with Julian Lewis Jones as my dad – when Gareth goes home to Barry – were challenging, but Julian was amazing helping me with my Welsh.

“Julian occasionally texts me in Welsh now, which is hilarious, as I think he’s forgotten I don’t actually speak a word!

“It’s pretty nerve-racking doing scenes where you’ve got to speak in a particular accent opposite someone who’s completely fluent in that language, so to have Julian put his hand on my shoulder and say, ‘You’re doing good, kid!’ was so reassuring.”

Learning dialogue for his Russian scenes was even harder.

“I had to learn all the Russian phonetically – it’s like learning music,” he explains. “I’d spend hours walking around wearing earphones and I’d look like a crazy person talking to myself, repeating phrases animatedly. But now I have Russian people coming up to me in the street, speaking Russian at me!

“Weirdly, I’ve done three jobs where I needed to speak Russian – War And Peace, McMafia and now this. I seem to have become the go-to guy for English-speaking Russian roles!”

The new film Mr Jones, directed by internationally-renowned Polish film-maker Agnieszka Holland, begins with Gareth Jones gaining fame in the early 1930s after his report on being the first foreign journalist to fly with Hitler.

Gareth, who’d graduated from Trinity College, Cambridge, in 1929 with a first-class degree in French, German and Russian, has also landed the job of foreign affairs advisor to former Prime Minister David Lloyd George.

With the Russian “utopia” all over the news, Gareth is intrigued as to how Stalin is financing the rapid modernisation of the Soviet Union and in March 1933 he decides to travel to Russia in an attempt to get an interview with Stalin himself.

However, on hearing murmurs of a government-induced famine – a secret carefully guarded by the Soviet censors – Gareth travels clandestinely to Ukraine, where he witnesses the atrocities of man-made starvation, as all grain is sold abroad to finance the Soviet empire’s industrialisation.

Deported back to the UK, it’s the Western Mail that publishes Gareth’s article revealing the horrors he has witnessed, but the starvation is denied by Western journalists based in Moscow, all under pressure from the Kremlin. As death threats mount, Gareth has to fight for the truth – and, meeting a young author called George Orwell, Gareth shares his findings... helping to inspire Orwell’s great allegorical novel Animal Farm.Gareth’s great-nephew Philip Colley made headlines recently, accusing the film’s scriptwriter of “inventing multiple fictions”, including wrongly suggesting he was an accidental cannibal.

Colley told the Sunday Times: “In the film, they have got [Gareth] up a tree eating bark, eating human flesh, tripping over dead bodies. They’ve made Gareth a victim of the famine, rather than a witness.”

Norton, however – interviewed prior to Colley’s remarks – says he received plentiful support from a number of Gareth’s surviving relatives, who came to early screenings of the film.

“They were all lovely in their support and they gave us their seal of approval, which was very touching,” recalls Norton.

“Our film’s screenwriter, Andrea Chalupa, was in touch with a lot of them early on. There’s so much literature and academia about Gareth’s work as a journalist, but Andrea found out some lovely titbits about his more private character.

“For example, when he went home to Barry he’d love being with his nieces and nephews and he became a big kid. His great-aunt told Andrea about one day when he came back home and he was rolling around with them like a labrador. That kind of story was invaluable to me.

“He wasn’t just this very earnest, principled man, there was a childlike, playful quality to him and he was almost a little bit gauche, a little bit awkward. You also want to honour his memory for his family.”

The main source of the film is a biography of Jones entitled More Than A Grain Of Truth, written by Gareth’s niece Dr Margaret Siriol Colley (Philip’s mother) and his great-nephew Nigel Colley (Philip’s brother), both of whom share a credit as the film’s historical advisors.

The book sparked Chalupa’s interest and she started corresponding with Margaret Colley soon after its publication. When Margaret died in 2011, aged 85, Chalupa remained in contact with her son Nigel, who became “heavily involved” in discussing ideas for the film. Nigel died in 2018.

Filmed predominantly in Poland, homeland of Warsaw-born director Agnieszka Holland, Mr Jones does contain some breathtaking snowbound scenes shot in Ukraine, where Gareth gets first-hand sight of the horrendous famine.

“We filmed in a tiny little place called Doch, which is three hours north of Kiev, in the middle of nowhere,” says Norton. “We’d drive for hours on these very unsafe roads, jangling your bones around. It was freezing cold in the snow.

“It was so remote that we had to put the word out to local farmers to come along as extras and we had a strict cut-off time – we had to wrap up at 5pm because they all had to go back and feed their animals!”

When it came to filming the scenes in Wales – notably Barry and the Western Mail’s offices in the film’s gripping finale when Gareth’s whistle-blowing scoop hits the presses – Norton reveals: “I’m really sorry to say they’re all filmed in Scotland! About an hour north-east of Edinburgh. A lot of those villages there have a quality of that small fishing town, for the Barry scenes.

“The other reason is that the film is partly funded by Creative Scotland and there’s that responsibility you feel to film there. But I think it worked well. It was a shame not to film in Wales, but we had a fantastic collection of Welsh players there, including Julian, so it felt home from home.”

Agnieszka Holland, of course, is not the first female director to work with Norton. He acted under the helm of Greta Gerwig on Little Women and with a largely female crew on the six-part TV drama The Trial Of Christine Keeler, which finished last Sunday, earning him rave reviews for his heartbreaking performance as Stephen Ward, the tragic scapegoat figure in the Profumo affair which brought down the UK government in the early 1960s.

“I’ve not gone out of my way to work with female directors, but I have great agents who always look for the best projects – but I really hope it’s a sign of the times,” he says. “The Christine Keeler story has never been properly told from a female perspective before, so that was the real attraction. Agnieszka, meanwhile, is the best of the best – the fact that she’s a woman is almost irrelevant.”

How does he feel about the fact that Greta Gerwig has been denied a Best Director Oscar nomination for her lauded version of Little Women, in which Norton plays eligible suitor John Brooke to Emma Watson’s Meg March?

“I can stand as witness to Greta’s brilliance and the fact that Little Women is up for Best Film and Screenplay is testament to her brilliance,” says Norton. “She singlehandedly redefined the story for a modern generation and it would have been wonderful to honour that in the nominations for direction – so it’s a horrible and unfortunate omission.”

It was while starring in McMafia, the gritty 2018 BBC1 thriller series with scenes of him bow-tied and gun-toting, that Norton’s name was first added to the list of contenders to play James Bond when Daniel Craig retires from the role after the next 007 movie No Time To Die. Remind him of that now and he laughs it off.

“It’s very humbling, it’s lovely and bizarre to be included in that conversation, but beyond that it’s all very speculative,” he says. “I think at the moment everyone’s concentrating on Daniel Craig in his final Bond film – for me, he’s a fantastic Bond and I’m sad he’s retiring.”

Right now, however, it’s Mr Jones and the legacy of that film’s largely unsung Welsh hero that are uppermost in Norton’s agenda. Tragically, Gareth Jones’ life was cut short on the eve of his 30th birthday in 1934, when he was allegedly shot by Mongolian bandits while travelling in Japanese-occupied China on a fact-finding tour.

“There’s much speculation about Gareth’s death at such a young age and there was a lot of evidence suggesting that it was orchestrated by the Soviet forces as revenge for his blowing the whistle on the hidden famine,” says Norton.

“His stories in the Western Mail were incredibly important. The more we can learn about Gareth Jones and recognise his extraordinary legacy, the better. And the fact is that right now, as politics becomes more polarised, we need more people like Gareth – investigative journalists to uncover the truth, with no ideological agenda attached.

“If this film encourages any future young Gareth Jones, then that’s fantastic. It’s a crime we don’t know more about these forgotten events and hopefully this film will remedy that.”

Manga I Read on the Reg

This is just a collection of manga I read regularly whenever they come out.

1. Boku no Hero Academia

Most of you know what this is. In a world where 80% of the population has these special abilities called “quirks”, our main character is part of the 20% that doesn’t have a quirk. The problem is, Midoriya Izuku, hero fanboy and enthusiast, has desperately wanted to be a hero since childhood. Without a quirk, Midoriya is discriminated enough as it is and everyone around him is telling him he can’t become a hero. But Midoriya refuses to give up and prepares for his future in order to become a hero. As high school entrance exams draw near, Midoriya is losing hope but in one miraculous encounter with Japan’s Number 1 hero, Midoriya is given an opportunity to obtain a quirk and pursue his dream to become a hero. 

I’m going to be honest. When I first started to hear about Boku no Hero Academia, I avoided it. I was already in too many fandoms and decided that with all that I had to do in my life: it wasn’t worth it. I pushed it away for later or potentially never. The most I did was click on a couple clips advertising BNHA and decided from those short clips that I despised Bakugou Katsuki. He was the classic bully character that I didn’t need reminders of. He’s the type of person I hate most in the world. I weighed the ethics and morality of this fantasy world way too heavily and moved on. Then, one day, having broken my ankle and forced to stay off it; I decided to read the Boku no Hero Academia manga in it’s entirety in one sitting. Since then I haven’t missed a new release. I think the reason I was so attracted to this series was how much it made me think of Katekyo Hitman Reborn which is one of my favorite franchises. I wanted to see more of a nervous and unsure main character despite being a badass and Boku no Hero Academia has certainly given me that.

This has an anime up to season 3 and a movie. Season 4 and a second movie has also been announced!

2. Haikyuu!!

One of the only sports manga! Haikyuu follows Hinata Shouyo, a short teenage boy entering his first year of high school aspiring to be the volleyball team’s ace despite almost never competing before, and Kageyama Tobio, a genius setter who has previously been abandoned by his teammates. Now, it’s not exactly that cut and dried. Hinata, despite being a nervous wreck and an idiot at times, along with practically being a beginner at playing volleyball with a real team, has incredible athletic ability. The only thing he can really do is jump and at the beginning of his high school career he takes to spiking with his eyes closed. Kageyama is a genius with a terrible personality. His insecurities after being abandoned make him standoffish to nearly everyone, but he always pulls through when aiming his set exactly to where Hinata will hit it. The team they join are full of fun and vibrant characters that have the title of the fallen crows because their school’s team has “fallen from glory”. It’s a typical sports manga with lovable characters and interesting relationships.

I also avoided reading Haikyuu when my friends started talking about it. I had already invested so much time into reading The Prince of Tennis and I didn’t want to get sucked into another fandom. I caved of course. The characters just seemed so fresh and new to me. It was less about the volleyball and more about how the characters interacted with each other. I actually started reading Haikyuu because of two videos on youtube that I believe no longer exist. The first was a compilation of each jump serve layered on top of each other and for each second the character serving would change and it was like art. The second was a compilation of Iwaizumi and Oikawa bickering. That really sold me. 

This manga has an anime up to season 3! Season 4 has also been announced!

3. Akatsuki no Yona

God I love her. Akatsuki no Yona follows the sheltered princess of the Kyouka Kingdom, Yona. Yona has lived her entire life within the gates of Hiryuu Castle with her cousin Su-won, her bodyguard Hak, and her father: the King. All Yona wants in her future is to marry Su-won, despite her father’s insistence that she will not. The night of her 16th birthday, however, she discovers Su-won over her father’s body, pulling a sword out of his corpse. She escapes the castle with Hak and after gathering herself after her father’s death and cousin’s betrayal she visits a priest that tells her to find the four legendary dragon warriors. Kyouka has a legend, in which the first king was a red dragon in human form and was accompanied with four warriors with his dragon brothers’ blood. Yona, with the priest believing she is the reincarnation of the red dragon, sets off with Hak and the priest’s companion to find the dragon warriors. 

I was hooked on Yona the moment it came out. I watched the anime like five times and when I realize there wouldn’t be a second season I read the manga. I’ve said this before in another post but Yona isn’t just a shoujo manga. The main character is a strong inspirational female character trying her best to fix the country that declared her dead. The romance is sweet but also awfully comedic. The fight scenes and the dramatic scenes are intense and draw you in. But just like any other manga, it’s the characters and the relationships that drew me in. Besides Hak and Yona’s thing they’re avoiding talking about; everyone else acts like siblings just trying to stay together the best they can and help anyone they can along the way. The dragon dynamic is hilarious, the backstories are sad, the romance is soft, and the bishounen is a genius. 

This manga has one anime season!

4. Yakusoko no Neverland

The ultimate mind fuck. The orphans at the Grace Field House live peaceful lives with each other and their beloved Mama. It’s one big happy family. They spend the days like any other family would; breakfast, mind-wracking tests, tag, dinner, and rinse and repeat. But even to the children, somethings seem strange. They’re never allowed to venture beyond the gate that surrounds them like a ring in the forest around the house. By the time they reach the age 12, they have to leave their little house. The children that have left never write to them, despite promising they would. The story follows main characters Ray, Norman, and Emma as they find out the secret behind their little house and try to somehow change their pitiful fate. 

So, this is another manga I decided to read in one day. A friend and I decided that since the anime would be coming out soon we would read the manga together in one go. Needless to say we were nearly dead after reading through all of it. So much happens in this that you’re like “what just happened” despite having just read it. You literally have to expect the unexpected when it comes to Neverland. This series would be ruined if I said anymore but the fact that these children can go through that and still smile and have hope despite the odds against them makes my heart warm. 

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

5. The Rising of the Shield Hero

The one that makes you angry almost immediately. According to legend, the holders of the four heavenly weapons are the heroes that will save Melromarc from the calamity that come in waves to the world. Iwatani Naofumi is just a normal university student when he picks up a book that transports him to another world. It’s entirely by bad luck that he’s given the role of the disregarded Shield Hero who can only wield shields and is ultimately useless offensively in battle. What’s even worse is that the companion who joined him at the start of his journey accused him of raping her and he’s been scorned by the kingdom and all its inhabitants since. The world seems so dark and Naofumi doesn’t want anything to do with the other heroes and incoming waves of calamity. The light in his life returns when he enslaves a sickly and depressed demi-human to fight for him. Raphtalia soon finds her master isn’t scary or cruel and becomes determined to make sure no one will suffer as she once did as a child while making sure Naofumi knows he is loved and appreciated by at least one person. 

God when I first read this I was so mad. Naofumi didn’t deserve any of this, especially when the arrogant king summoned him to fight a battle he had nothing to do with. The same friend introduced Shield-bro to me and practically begged I read it. Yes we call it Shield-bro, it’s a thing. Look up Shield-bro on google and this will come out. It’s just a different sort of isekai where instead of being the hero that’s being praised - you get a real person getting accused of a real crime he didn’t commit. He’s been handed the short end of the stick just for being the Shield Hero no one appreciates. He’s literally the underdog in everything. You just want to root for Naofumi. It’s a really good stress reliever. 

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

6. Isekai Omotenashi Gohan

This one is so softtttt. Our main character and her little sister gets their literal house transported to a different world. Oh and their dog comes too! Their Japanese home is transported in front of a luxurious foreign-looking castle in which people greet Akane and her little sister, Hiyori, claiming to have summoned the priestess that will save their world from the miasma. Hiyori is delighted and starts her training as the priestess, but Akane has nothing to do as a normal office worker and their home’s homemaker in this new world. After spending a month feeling useless, Hiyori comes to plead her sister for her cooking - starting Akane’s adventure in cooking classic Japanese staples that somehow attracts the attention of the Knight Commander of the Chivalric Order, the King, the kingdom’s princesses and much more. That is, of course, while teaching her knight guard Jade how to cook as well. 

This isn’t very long and updates rarely but it’s so cute. All the antics are just so cute. The food is amazing and it’s just a story about how food brings everyone together. It’s masterful and done well. But it’s also not just a cooking story. Akane and Hiyori both struggle with Hiyori being the world’s priestess and her encountering danger. The sisterly bond is great in this one.

7. Koushaku Reijou no Tashinami

If you can’t tell I’m really into Isekai. This manga follows another regular office worker, but she’s really into otome games. Our main character dies from a car crash and when she wakes up she is in the footsteps of the villainess, Iris Lana Armelia, from a game she had just completed, in the middle Iris’ judgement scene from the love interests because Iris harassed the game’s main character: Yuuri. The original fate of Iris, after losing her engagement from the prince and being exposed of harassment in front of her whole school, leads to a miserable life at a church. Iris, this time around, as an efficient office worker from Japan, gets sent by the Duke, her father, to care for their territory’s fief as fief lord. From there Iris, along with her loyal companions and friends, care for the fief with all of Iris’ knowledge from Japan with plenty of bumps along the way from the game’s love interests and Yuuri. Yuuri may not be the sweet video game protagonist she is thought to be.

So, one day, I had read through most everything and I wanted a little bit of romance in my life. And while this didn’t originally have the romance I wanted, it still piqued my interest. The real appeal to this is how strong Iris is as a character. She doesn’t take shit from anyone and holds her head up with pride. But in the times she is weak she has supportive friends that would do anything for her in a heartbeat. Another appealing factor is how technical and political this manga is. The manga describes real life things to improve the fief such as a banking system and taxation, but also gets political with the two factions of the two princes. It’s a good mix a strong female lead, economics, politics, royalty, and friendship. 

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

8. That Time I got Reincarnated as a Slime (Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken)

More isekai! Just like most isekai main characters, our main character is a simple corporate worker who lives a normal life in Tokyo. Unfortunately, after pushing his friend out of the way of an assailant on the street, our MC dies while hearing a strange voice responding to his dying thoughts. When our MC wakes up he discovers that he is now a slime in a new world and discovers a dragon in the cave he woke up, befriends him, and receives the name Rimuru Tempest. Strangely, Rimuru has abilities that a normal slime would not have - the most notable being his ability to devour anything and mimic its appearance and abilities. Rimuru starts his journey after escaping the cave and one thing leads to another and suddenly there are a bunch of monsters calling him “Master” and “Rimuru-sama” and Rimuru is the head of a monster country. 

I normally don’t like OP characters, but I strangely find Rimuru okay. Rimuru has plenty of over powered characteristics and abilities but Rimuru’s personality and demeanor makes it tolerable. It’s just fun seeing how everyone underestimates Rimuru because he’s a slime. Rimuru is also very morally aligned, in that he’s very clear with his desires and doesn’t tolerate it if the line is crossed. 

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

9. I Reincarnated into an Otome Game as a Villainess with Only Destruction Flags

EVEN MORE ISEKAI! We follow Katarina Klaus who hits her head and awakens the memories of her past life as a seventeen year old girl in Japan. Katarina Klaus, however, is the haughty aristocrat villainess in a fantasy otome game with swords and magic. Having recovered her memories, Katarina cannot find it in herself to act the same as the old Katarina as she finds aristocratic society a pain. Unfortunately for Katarina, according to the game, death or exile awaits her for each and every route. Katarina decides the best thing to do is somehow protect herself by improving her magic and swordsmanship to escape the death flags. What follows are antics of farming to enhance her magical ability and her unintentional wooing of the game’s love interests. Oblivious and focused on matching the love interests to the game’s main character while avoiding a destruction flag, Katarina doesn’t notice how everyone, even the game’s main character falls for her. Farming, failed match-making, admiration from all sides, and a panicking main character awaits you. 

This is another one that I found looking for romance. This is more of a comedy isekai more than anything. Sure there’s magic and other abilities but the manga doesn’t focus on that. The manga focuses more on the strangeness that is Katarina as she is now. I would have never expected to find an isekai manga MC have a hobby in farming. The way Katarina is so oblivious to everyone falling for her is also pretty great. 

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

10. The Saint’s Magic Ability is Omnipotent (Seijo no Maryoku wa Bannou desu)

God how much isekai do I read? Sei, a regular office worker, was suddenly summoned to another world by a saint summoning ritual with another girl she does not recognize. The prince of this country, despite there being two girls summoned to their world, completely ignores Sei and declares the other girl is the saint who will save the country from the miasma, without confirming his claim. Sei, outraged, demands that because she is apparently not the saint that she be sent back home but is told it is impossible. Sei lives a comfortable but restless life at the castle, having gotten used to the grueling work style of Japan. While exploring the castle she becomes interested in potion making. Her magic is overly effective to everything she does and creates without her meaning to - even her food gives people more energy. As time goes on, more and more people come to respect Sei’s good deeds and starts to think she is the saint while the girl parading around with the country’s prince is a fake. Sei, knowing she is the saint, only wants to live a quiet life creating potions.

This one is just so precious because of how amazing Sei is without meaning to. She knows she is the saint but doesn’t want to admit it. It’s also really fun seeing how she interacts with the other characters. Sei isn’t used to praise or romantic attention. A lot of things are new to her in this new world but all she wants to do is be useful in her own way. 

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

11. The White Cat That Swore Vengeance Was Just Lazing on the Dragon King’s Lap

This is sadly relatable. Ruri has forcibly been friends her neighbor Asahi for years. Ruri is the beautiful daughter to a foreign model and a diplomat of Japan. If you were to look up the definition of beauty in a dictionary, Ruri’s picture would be there. Platinum blonde hair, blue eyes, elegant Japanese features and all. Asahi, meanwhile, has been coddled and loved throughout her whole life because her approachable nature and cuteness that no one except for Ruri seems immune to. Everything Asahi does is somehow blamed on Ruri, even when she isn’t directly involved. Everyone is on Asahi’s side. Having tried to escape Asashi and the negativity of those around her on multiple occasions, Ruri has realized that Asahi is willing to follow her everywhere no matter what Ruri tries. While on campus at her university with Asahi; she, Asahi, and a couple of Asahi’s friends/admirers get transported to another world via magic and everyone rushes to Asahi calling her the lady priestess. Ruri, seeing this as her chance to escape Asahi, is told she is an idiot for thinking she could return to her own world. Almost immediately all those in the Kingdom of Nadarsia hate Ruri because Asahi herself keeps clinging to Ruri while ignoring them. Without Asahi’s knowledge they kick Ruri off the hidden forest and Ruri finds herself in the care of a kind, yet ugly, old lady from the dragon kindgom who takes care of her and teaches her about the magic the fairies grant in this world. Surprisingly, the fairies are seem to gather around Ruri and adore her. When Ruri has gotten used to this world she visits the dragon kingdom on her own, gets scared and wears an ancient bracelet given to her by a powerful fairy that allows her to turn into a cat and is given the title “Cherished One” and meets the Dragon King who falls in love with her cat form. Cue title and roll credits!

I say this is relatable because of a toxic frienship I once had. I broke it off with a friend and for a long time things were awkward among my other friends and a lot of people kept insisting that we would make up someday despite me not wanting that. These friends now have realized that it was a lot more than that and funnily enough they have broken it off with her as well. But this is a cute story about a victim finally getting her vengeance and the love and praise she deserves. There’s also cute cat antics and a sprinkle of romance in it.  

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

12. Boku no Hero Academia: Vigilantes

A very familiar title to another one on this list! In a world where 80% of the population has these special abilities called “quirks”, our main character is part of the 80% that does have a quirk. Unfortunately, not everyone is blessed with a quirk such as fire manipulation or engines in their bodies to fight crime. Himawari Koichi has the quirk known as “Slide and Glide”, giving him the average ability to slide over plain surfaces. Despite this, Koichi has always wanted to be hero and admires Number 1 Hero All Might as his role model. Despite not being a hero, Koichi uses his quirk in public areas, breaking quirk regulation laws, to get to his destination quickly and hates said restrictions. After a series of events Koichi decides to use his quirk, while wearing an All Might hoodie, to do good deeds for the public - all simple things. All he ever does for awhile is give directions, clean up litter, or return dropped items while utilizing his quirk. But things become dangerous when he meets freelance idol Pop☆Step and a quirkless, yet powerful, old man known as Knuckleduster and they somehow become vigilantes for their neighborhood while getting deeply involved in a quirk improvement drug known as Trigger.

This is what I wanted Boku no Hero Academia to be when I first read BNHA. I wanted a quirkless character fighting crime with their own power. I have to admit I was disappointed when Deku got his quirk. The setting of Vigilantes (or Illegals) is before the BNHA timeline. Eraserhead has yet to become a teacher at UA and the original Ingenium is still running around. We get to see an other side of the heroes we love and hate and get to see how vigilantism effects this quirk filled world. Koichi, while also being an All Might fanboy is different from Deku.  Pop☆Step is a cute tsundere idol who is still trying to climb the popularity ranks. Knuckleduster is a mysterious man who fights crime with his own justice and abilities. It’s an eye opener to another aspect of the BNHA world. 

13. Bloom into You (Yagate Kimi Ni Naru)

The romance that isn’t supposed to be? Koito Yuu is a first year in high school who enjoys reading Shoujo manga. The problem(?) is that she doesn’t understand the feeling of love. Nanami Touko is a third year at the same high school that Yuu unintentional watches get confessed to but Touko refuses. Yuu gets recruited in helping the student council that Touko is a part of and realizes that Touko is the same as her. No matter how many people confess to either of them, be it one or dozens, they will never feel anything when it happens. Yuu goes to Touko for help, realizing that they are the same and gets advice to reject someone who confessed to her at her middle school graduation. But immediately after, Touko confesses that if it was Yuu, she could fall in love with her. What results is a story of a not-so romance and a refreshing coming of age story. 

This is one messed up romance story. Like the relationship Koito Yuu and Nanami Touko have is so messed up. The upside to this story is that it talks about homosexuality and asexuality with so much lax that it’s refreshing. This manga is cute and entertaining at times and the romance is unorthodox. The character backstories are interesting and heartbreaking and the way the characters interact with each other are interesting. You won’t see what happens in this manga in most manga you come across. 

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

Friday Five: Isn’t It Romantic?

Alright, so I haven’t seen the movie yet, but this list comes courtesy of my desire to see Rebel Wilson’s latest comedy - where her character ends up stuck in a romantic comedy. It looks hilarious, and I can’t wait to see her enjoy every rom-com trope out there. 

Speaking of tropes, romantic comedies have this reputation for being soooo tropey that people think they’re less than other movies. Just because a story has lots of tropes doesn’t make it bad. Sometimes, we like those familiar tropes. They comfort us. They give us something to look forward to on a bad day. They give us a little bit of fun. So, I’ve got five of my favorite romantic comedies for you. (And I tried to make sure none of them are holiday related since that’s a whole other sub genre.)

Five: Love, Simon

I’ll admit that I haven’t read the books that inspired the movie. So I have no basis of comparison like I usually do for adaptations. That being said, I was invited to a free screening of this about a month before it released, and I loved it so much that I went back and paid to see it again. I only typically do that for movies that I’m getting paid to write about. Simon, with his picture perfect family, his close knit friends, and his relatively unassuming life, has a secret. He’s gay. He thinks he’s the only closeted person in town, then finds out, thanks to an anonymous online posting, that one of his classmates is as well. He takes to writing them, and they fall for each other, but things spiral out of his control when other people find out he’s gay. I love the frank discussions of sexuality in this movie, the way it embraces rom com tropes, and the cast is fantastic. All around a good time.

Four: 27 Dresses

This seems to be one of those movies that people either love or hate. Maybe it’s because people have a skewed perception of Katherine Heigl? I don’t know. In real life, I’m not a girl who’s big on weddings. I do, however, like watching them come together. So, I find things like Say Yes To The Dress fascinating. So, rom coms that feature a lot of wedding planning? Yes, please. Heigl plays a woman who has been a bridesmaid 27 times (hence the title), and when a writer finds out, he plans on featuring her in the paper. So, you know, this movie includes weddings, intrepid (if slightly unethical) journalism, family drama, enemies to lovers, the whole nine yards. It’s super fun.

Three: The Proposal

Talk about your enemies to lovers story. Your boss, whom you hate, is getting deported, but she offers you the chance to finally get your book published if you just marry her so she can stay in the country. You take your opportunity where you can get it. If said opportunity also involves a trip to Alaska to visit your incredibly eccentric family, all the better. I feel like saying the names Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, and Betty White should be enough further explanation for why this comedy is gold, so there you go.

Two: 10 Things I Hate About You

Since I featured Kat and Patrick in my dysfunctional couples last week, how could this movie not make the list? It’s one of those movies that is very much a hallmark of its time. It’s become a classic. I think there’s a reason the teen rom coms released between 1995 and 2005 hit so well and still get a lot of love so many years later. Yes, the clothes are dated. Yes, so are the expressions. But there’s something great about watching Kat and Patrick fall for each other in spite of themselves. There’s also something great about watching Bianca realize she can be her own person and not fall for the popular people’s crap. My only complaint? Gabrielle Union was stuck in the best frenemy role for a while because of this movie. She needs to lead a few more rom coms today.

One: Clueless

This might be one of my favorite teen movies of all time. A 90s adaptation of Jane Austen’s Emma, Cher is the shallow title character who thinks she’s a good person, but realizes most of her good deeds only serve herself. The love story between the former step siblings who are like oil and water is just icing on the cake. It has some of the most iconic lines in 90s teen movies, and it brought plaid back into fashion, so, honestly, how can you hate it? One of my favorite bits of behind the scenes trivia is that, while writing the script, Amy Heckerling actually sat in Los Angeles classrooms to get a feel for how teens spoke, and then she incorporated some of the slang into the movie.

Huh. You guys. I might have a type when it comes to the romantic comedy couple. I’m not saying it’s obvious, but… yeah, it’s obvious. Since we’ve all survived Valentine’s Day, tell me your favorite romantic comedy (or the ones you like to see adapted into fanfic because that’s also one of my favorite things) and give me another reason to binge watch things and not finish writing the things I need to get done.

The national celebration of African American History was started by Carter G. Woodson, a Harvard-trained historian and the founder of the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History, and first celebrated as a weeklong event in February of 1926. After a half century of overwhelming popularity, the event was expanded to a full month in 1976 by President Gerald Ford.

 Here at UCF Libraries we believe that knowledge is key to living a good life and that sharing information benefits everyone. This is why our featured bookshelf suggestions range from celebrating outstanding African Americans to having difficult conversations about racism and American History. We are proud to present our top 24 favorite books by, and/or about, African Americans.

 Click on the link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links for the Black History Month titles suggested by UCF Library employees. These 24 books plus many, many more are also on display on the 2nd (main) floor of the John C. Hitt Library next to the bank of two elevators. Blu-rays and DVDs for documentaries and popular films are also included in the display.

 A Rap on Race by Margaret Mead and James Baldwin A black writer's emotional response to American racism is juxtaposed with the logical analyses of a social scientist. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Backlash: what happens when we talk honestly about racism in America by George Yancy When George Yancy penned a New York Times op-ed entitled “Dear White America” asking white Americans to confront the ways that they benefit from racism, he knew his article would be controversial. But he was unprepared for the flood of vitriol in response. The resulting blowback played out in the national media, with critics attacking Yancy in every form possible—including death threats—and supporters rallying to his side. Despite the rhetoric of a “post-race” America, Yancy quickly discovered that racism is still alive, crude, and vicious in its expression. In Backlash, Yancy expands upon the original article and chronicles the ensuing controversy as he seeks to understand what it was about the op-ed that created so much rage among so many white readers. He challenges white Americans to rise above the vitriol and to develop a new empathy for the African American experience. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Buffalo soldiers directed by Charles Haid Danny Glover stars in this historical epic of former slaves turned United States Army recruits--the Buffalo Soldiers. Freed by the Emancipation Proclamation of 1862, many ex-slaves head west in search of a new life far from Southern oppression. In 1866, a year after the end of the Civil War, the U.S. Army enlists black men to fight Native Americans on the Western frontier. Nicknamed "Buffalo Soldiers" by the Plains Indians, these African-American troops also string miles of telegraph wire, escort settlers, cattle and railroad crews through the hostile West and patrol the wild United States-Mexican border in this moving drama that chronicles an untold, exciting part of United States history. Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Crossing Division Street: an oral history of the African-American community in Orlando by Benjamin Brotemarkle This book includes an overview of the people, institutions, and events that shaped the establishment, growth and history of the African-American community in Orlando. We examine the creation of the neighborhood's educational centers, places of worship, and businesses, and the irony of how desegregation inadvertently led to the decline of the community. Significant instances of racial unrest in Orlando that are often overlooked are detailed in this manuscript. Suggested by Rich Gause, Research & Information Services

 Devil in the Grove: Thurgood Marshall, the Groveland Boys, and the dawn of a new America by Gilbert King In 1949, Florida's orange industry was booming, and citrus barons got rich on the backs of cheap Jim Crow labor. To maintain order and profits, they turned to Willis V. McCall, a violent sheriff who ruled Lake County with murderous resolve. When a white seventeen-year-old Groveland girl cried rape, McCall was fast on the trail of four young blacks who dared to envision a future for themselves beyond the citrus groves. By day's end, the Ku Klux Klan had rolled into town, burning the homes of blacks to the ground and chasing hundreds into the swamps, hell-bent on lynching the young men who came to be known as "the Groveland Boys." Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Dread Nation by Justina Ireland At once provocative, terrifying, and darkly subversive, Dread Nation is Justina Ireland's stunning vision of an America both foreign and familiar—a country on the brink, at the explosive crossroads where race, humanity, and survival meet. Suggested by Emma Gisclair, Curriculum Materials Center

 Everything’s Trash but it’s OK by Phoebe Robinson Written in her trademark unfiltered and witty style, Robinson's latest collection is a call to arms. Outfitted with on-point pop culture references, these essays tackle a wide range of topics: giving feminism a tough-love talk on intersectionality, telling society's beauty standards to kick rocks, and calling foul on our culture's obsession with work. Robinson also gets personal, exploring money problems she's hidden from her parents, how dating is mainly a warmed-over bowl of hot mess, and definitely most important, meeting Bono not once, but twice. She's struggled with being a woman with a political mind and a woman with an ever-changing jeans size. She knows about trash because she sees it every day--and because she's seen roughly one hundred thousand hours of reality TV and zero hours of Schindler's List. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 Frederick Douglass: America's prophet by D.H. Dilbeck From his enslavement to freedom, Frederick Douglass was one of America's most extraordinary champions of liberty and equality. Throughout his long life, Douglass was also a man of profound religious conviction. In this concise and original biography, D. H. Dilbeck offers a provocative interpretation of Douglass's life through the lens of his faith. In an era when the role of religion in public life is as contentious as ever, Dilbeck provides essential new perspective on Douglass's place in American history. Suggested by Christina Wray, Teaching & Engagement

 Frederick Douglass: prophet of freedom by David W. Blight The definitive, dramatic biography of the most important African American of the nineteenth century: Frederick Douglass, the escaped slave who became the greatest orator of his day and one of the leading abolitionists and writers of the era. Suggested by Christina Wray, Teaching & Engagement

 Heavy: an American memoir by Kiese Laymon    In this powerful and provocative memoir, genre-bending essayist and novelist Kiese Laymon explores what the weight of a lifetime of secrets, lies, and deception does to a black body, a black family, and a nation teetering on the brink of moral collapse. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 Hidden in Plain View:  the secret story of quilts and the underground railroad by Jacqueline L. Tobin and Raymond G. Dobard The fascinating story of a friendship, a lost tradition, and an incredible discovery, revealing how enslaved men and women made encoded quilts and then used them to navigate their escape on the Underground Railroad.  In Hidden in Plain View, historian Jacqueline Tobin and scholar Raymond Dobard offer the first proof that certain quilt patterns, including a prominent one called the Charleston Code, were, in fact, essential tools for escape along the Underground Railroad. In 1993, historian Jacqueline Tobin met African American quilter Ozella Williams amid piles of beautiful handmade quilts in the Old Market Building of Charleston, South Carolina. With the admonition to "write this down," Williams began to describe how slaves made coded quilts and used them to navigate their escape on the Underground Railroad. But just as quickly as she started, Williams stopped, informing Tobin that she would learn the rest when she was "ready." During the three years it took for Williams's narrative to unfold—and as the friendship and trust between the two women grew—Tobin enlisted Raymond Dobard, Ph.D., an art history professor and well-known African American quilter, to help unravel the mystery. Suggested by Jacqueline Johnson, Cataloging

 Hokum: an anthology of African-American humor edited by Paul Beatty This book is less a comprehensive collection than it is a mix-tape narrative dubbed by a trusted friend―a sampler of underground classics, rare grooves, and timeless summer jams, poetry and prose juxtaposed with the blues, hip-hop, political speeches, and the world's funniest radio sermon. Groundbreaking, fierce, and hilarious, this is a necessary anthology for any fan or student of American writing, with a huge range and a smart, political grasp of the uses of humor. Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin Told through the eyes of Tish, a nineteen-year-old girl, in love with Fonny, a young sculptor who is the father of her child, Baldwin’s story mixes the sweet and the sad. Tish and Fonny have pledged to get married, but Fonny is falsely accused of a terrible crime and imprisoned. Their families set out to clear his name, and as they face an uncertain future, the young lovers experience a kaleidoscope of emotions–affection, despair, and hope. In a love story that evokes the blues, where passion and sadness are inevitably intertwined, Baldwin has created two characters so alive and profoundly realized that they are unforgettably ingrained in the American psyche. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Teaching & Engagement

 Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet A. Jacobs Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl is an autobiography by a young mother and fugitive slave published in 1861 by L. Maria Child, who edited the book for its author, Harriet Ann Jacobs. Jacobs used the pseudonym Linda Brent Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison A first novel by an unknown writer, it remained on the bestseller list for sixteen weeks, won the National Book Award for fiction, and established Ralph Ellison as one of the key writers of the century. The nameless narrator of the novel describes growing up in a black community in the South, attending a Negro college from which he is expelled, moving to New York and becoming the chief spokesman of the Harlem branch of "the Brotherhood", and retreating amid violence and confusion to the basement lair of the Invisible Man he imagines himself to be. Suggested by Athena Hoeppner, Acquisitions & Collections

 March. Book One. by John Lewis This graphic novel is Congressman John Lewis' first-hand account of his lifelong struggle for civil and human rights, meditating in the modern age on the distance traveled since the days of Jim Crow and segregation. Rooted in Lewis' personal story, it also reflects on the highs and lows of the broader civil rights movement. Book One spans Lewis' youth in rural Alabama, his life-changing meeting with Martin Luther King, Jr., the birth of the Nashville Student Movement, and their battle to tear down segregation through nonviolent lunch counter sit-ins, building to a climax on the steps of City Hall. His commitment to justice and nonviolence has taken him from an Alabama sharecropper's farm to the halls of Congress, from a segregated schoolroom to the 1963 March on Washington D.C., and from receiving beatings from state troopers, to receiving the Medal of Freedom awarded to him by Barack Obama, the first African-American president. (Book Two and Book Three are also available at the UCF Curriculum Materials Center in the Education complex) Suggested by Emma Gisclair, Curriculum Materials Center

 Middle Passage by Charles Johnson It is 1830. Rutherford Calhoun, a newly treed slave and irrepressible rogue, is desperate to escape unscrupulous bill collectors and an impending marriage to a priggish schoolteacher. He jumps aboard the first boat leaving New Orleans, the Republic, a slave ship en route to collect members of a legendary African tribe, the Allmuseri. Thus begins a daring voyage of horror and self-discovery. Suggested by Brian Calhoun, Research & Information Services

 Obama: An Intimate Portrait by Pete Souza Obama: An Intimate Portrait reproduces more than 300 of Souza's most iconic photographs with fine-art print quality in an oversize collectible format. Together they document the most consequential hours of the Presidency--including the historic image of President Obama and his advisors in the Situation Room during the bin Laden mission--alongside unguarded moments with the President's family, his encounters with children, interactions with world leaders and cultural figures, and more. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson Jade believes she must get out of her poor neighborhood if she's ever going to succeed. Her mother tells her to take advantage of every opportunity that comes her way. And Jade has: every day she rides the bus away from her friends and to the private school where she feels like an outsider, but where she has plenty of opportunities. But some opportunities she doesn't really welcome, like an invitation to join Women to Women, a mentorship program for "at-risk" girls. Just because her mentor is black and graduated from the same high school doesn't mean she understands where Jade is coming from. She's tired of being singled out as someone who needs help, someone people want to fix. Jade wants to speak, to create, to express her joys and sorrows, her pain and her hope. Maybe there are some things she could show other women about understanding the world and finding ways to be real, to make a difference. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand by Samuel R. Delany Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand is a science fiction masterpiece, an essay on the inexplicability of sexual attractiveness, and an examination of interstellar politics among far-flung worlds. First published in 1984, the novel's central issues—technology, globalization, gender, sexuality, and multiculturalism—have only become more pressing with the passage of time.  Suggested by Brian Calhoun, Research & Information Services

 The Color Purple by Alice Walker Published to unprecedented acclaim, The Color Purple established Alice Walker as a major voice in modern fiction. This is the story of two sisters—one a missionary in Africa and the other a child wife living in the South—who sustain their loyalty to and trust in each other across time, distance, and silence. Suggested by Jacqueline Johnson, Cataloging

 The Fire this Time: a new generation speaks about race edited by Jesmyn Ward National Book Award-winner Jesmyn Ward takes James Baldwin's 1963 examination of race in America, The Fire Next Time, as a jumping off point for this groundbreaking collection of essays and poems about race from the most important voices of her generation and our time. The Fire This Time is divided into three parts that shine a light on the darkest corners of our history, wrestle with our current predicament, and envision a better future. Of the eighteen pieces, ten were written specifically for this volume. In the fifty-odd years since Baldwin's essay was published, entire generations have dared everything and made significant progress. But the idea that we are living in the post-Civil Rights era, that we are a "post-racial" society is an inaccurate and harmful reflection of a truth the country must confront. Baldwin's "fire next time" is now upon us, and it needs to be talked about. Contributors include Carol Anderson, Jericho Brown, Garnette Cadogan, Edwidge Danticat, Rachel Kaadzi Ghansah, Mitchell S. Jackson, Honoree Jeffers, Kima Jones, Kiese. Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 The Hellfighters of Harlem: African-American soldiers who fought for the right to fight for their country by Bill Harris The author paints a lively portrait of the Hellfighters of Harlem--the Army's most celebrated all-black unit during World War I--chronicling their fierce struggle to be allowed to serve, their exploits in Europe, their influence on American culture, and their continuing contributions in World War II and in Iraq during the Gulf War. Suggested by Rich Gause, Research & Information Services

 The Sellout by Paul Beatty A biting satire about a young man's isolated upbringing and the race trial that sends him to the Supreme Court, Paul Beatty's The Sellout showcases a comic genius at the top of his game. It challenges the sacred tenets of the United States Constitution, urban life, the civil rights movement, the father-son relationship, and the holy grail of racial equality: the black Chinese restaurant. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

Author Q&A

Q: What’s your sexual orientation? 

A: I identify as gay. 

Q: Which country are you from? 

A: The United States - more specifically the southeast. 

Q: Sometimes the level of detail and realism in the fic amazes me to no end. So I was wondering if you had taken inspiration on personal experiences or some real life people to write any scenes or describe some details? 

A: Thank you! I have taken a few things from my own life – most of it being the more sexual stuff – but for the most part I’m just putting myself into the mindset of these characters and just writing as if I am them. I’m a very empathetic person, and it’s incredibly easy for me to put myself into ‘other people’s shoes’, so to speak. So because of that, I am able to write as if I am actually Nicole, or Waverly, or whoever is speaking in the moment. I do it for every single character in my story. It’s kind of fun, because it’s almost like acting! I will say that the only character I feel that’s a little different in my story than in the show is Dolls. I think in the show he’s a little more “to the point”, but in my story he’s a bit more easy going and laid back. That wasn’t a conscious decision, it just sort of happened that way. But I feel like if he wasn’t an agent that was trained to eradicate paranormal forces, he would be more laid back like that anyways, so it works out! 

Q: Last movie you watched? 

A: The Miseducation of Cameron Post, and it was VERY good. Chloë Grace Moretz’s acting in the film is incredible. It’s very realistic and eye-opening, and I definitely recommend buying/renting it and supporting the queer woman who wrote and directed it! 

Q: What do you usually use to write your fanfictions? 

A: I use Word on my laptop, and when I’m out and get a sudden burst of inspiration I’ll pull up the Notes app on my phone and start writing. The Notes app is great because it’s linked to my laptop as well, so when I get home I can just pull up the app on my computer and everything is there from my phone, so I just copy and paste it into my Word document! Technology is great. 

Q: What does a typical day look like for you? 

A: I wake up, take my wife to work, go to my job where I teach some kids how to play percussion instruments, come home to do something creative (writing, creating music, playing an instrument, etc.), pick my wife up from work, do something with her – usually either watching TV or playing a board game, go to sleep. 

Q: What’s your favorite thing to write? 

A: Most of the time, smut. Which is why there’s so much of it in my story! But I also really enjoy writing the humorous stuff as well. 

Q: Favorite WayHaught kiss? 

A: Their first one…it was a really good first kiss 😏 

Q: Do you already have in mind other fics for the future? 

A: Actually, I’m in the process of writing one right now! It’s a WayHaught high school alternate universe story in which Waverly is a cheerleader and Nicole is a basketball player who transfers to Purgatory High in the middle of sophomore year (10th grade). The story focuses on Waverly and Nicole figuring out who they are as young adults, discovering their sexuality, and exploring their bodies – as teenagers do. The goal is to make it as true as possible to being a teenager in 2019, for all of the teens out there that are stuck in high school and need something to relate to. I feel like a lot of the high school fics are a bit outdated, or don’t “go there” enough to touch on the “uncomfortable” or “taboo” topics. And you better believe that this fic will! I’m getting close to halfway through with it – about 10 chapters so far – and have been working on it for the past month. I will begin posting that when I’ve completed it, so be on the lookout! If you’re interested in helping me out with some plotline ideas for it, you can fill out this survey here… https://www.opinionstage.com/odaatlover/wayhaught-high-school-fanfiction-topics-calling-all-teens-or-anyone-interested-in-providing-ideas 

Q: What’s your favorite holiday? 

A: Pride! …does that even count as a holiday? If not, then I’ll say Christmas. 

Q: What’s your favorite kind of date night? 

A: Something where we can converse pretty easily. Maybe dinner or walking around somewhere. 

Q: Do you brainstorm chapters before you write them? 

A: Sometimes I’ll have a layout. For example, this is the exact brainstorming layout I have written out in my notes app for the next chapter… 

Chapter 55 – (title?) 

- Dolls asks Nicole for advice on a date he has planned 

- Nedley asks Nicole to go “undercover” to find out what’s going on with Chrissy in her life 

- Waverly surprises Nicole with a romantic homemade dinner. They talk about their day, Waverly asks Nicole some questions about her past. 

There’s a little sneak peek for you guys 😉 But other than that, all of the dialogue just kind of flows naturally. There have been a couple of chapters where I didn’t have a layout at all and just let the words flow out of my brain, but most of the time I have an idea of the main plots of the chapter. 

Q: Waverly or Nicole? 

A: I relate more to Nicole, but I find Waverly to be more attractive. 

Q: Do you have any siblings? 

A: I have a sister who is 3 ½ years older than I am. 

Q: What color are your eyes? 

A: Blue. And they’re very sensitive to sunlight. I spend most of my life squinting. 

Q: Do you ever get writer’s block? 

A: Yes! Quite often, actually. Which is why your survey answers in regard to “The Grind” have been so helpful! Also, those who comment on my fic with ideas of things they want to see help too. Any time I get writer’s block, I’ll either read some fics to draw inspiration from, or I’ll just start writing something that’s completely different, just to get the creative juices flowing. Often when I have writer’s block and aren’t sure where to take the story, I’ll just do a random smutty chapter for the week. Hope you all are okay with that 😉 If you haven’t filled it out yet, you can find that survey here… https://www.opinionstage.com/odaatlover/the-grind-reader-survey 

Q: Lipstick or chapstick? 

A: If you’re asking which type of lesbian I am, chapstick. If you’re asking which one I prefer on my lips…chapstick. 

Q: Favorite concert you’ve ever been to? 

A: Blue Man Group! Although, I will say that I went to Taylor Swift’s Reputation tour back in August with my wife who is obsessed with her, and although I’m not crazy about her music, I’ll admit that the girl can perform. I thought I was going to hate it, but I actually really enjoyed it. 

Q: Is there a specific place that you write? 

A: Most of the time I just write at my house - either at the table or sometimes on the couch in my living room, but occasionally I like to go to the Barnes & Noble at the mall close to us and write there. My wife and I will go together and we’ll just sit at the same table – me writing and her reading a book – while we occasionally steal glances at each other and kick each other’s feet. It’s pretty great. 

Q: What superpower would you choose and why? 

A: Shapeshifting, because I genuinely want to know what it’s like to walk through life as other people, more specifically as a man 🤔 

Q: Windows or Mac? 

A: Mac. I have nothing against Windows, but everything I use is Apple and I’m used to it. 

Q: What’s a fun fact about you? 

A: I’m deaf in my right ear and wear a hearing aid, due to having had a lot of ear infections as a kid. Bonus round: I started wearing glasses at age of 2, but stopped needing them at 16 because my eye doctor said that my glasses corrected my vision and I didn’t need to wear them anymore, so now I’m glasses-free! 🤓 (<-- not me) 

Q: Favorite lesbian YouTuber? 

A: Rose and Rosie! They’re hilarious, and honestly remind me of my wife and myself. 

Q: Describe yourself in three words. 

A: Where’s my wallet? (Always using it, always losing it…) 

Q: What was the #1 song on the radio the day you were born? 

A: *searches song* Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot 😂 Classic. 

Q: What languages do you speak? 

A: English and some Spanish. I can understand Spanish better than I can properly speak it. My wife is fluent in both, but her first language is Spanish, so I’m exposed to it often.

Q: Are you a DomKat fan? 

A: I love them! I genuinely enjoy watching their interviews, including the ones with them as individuals (Just Dom or just Kat). I also enjoy listening to the podcasts they’ve been featured in, more specifically Tales Of The Black Badge. I don’t ship them as a couple like a lot of people think they secretly are, but I love their friendship. You can tell they genuinely enjoy each other’s company, which in turn shows through their WayHaught scenes on screen. I love both of them, but I’m a bigger fan of Dominique. She’s just so adorable! 

Q: Do you have any celebrity crushes? 

A: Dominique Provost-Chalkley 😍 But also, Emma Watson. 

Q: What is your favorite season of Wynonna Earp? 

A: I think season 2 is my favorite. I loved season 3, but I liked season 2 better. And season 1 was inevitably them trying to figure things out since they didn’t have any fans yet. 

Q: What’s your least favorite thing about Wynonna Earp? 

A: The violence. They’ve toned it down a bit, which is good, but it was a little too much in the first season, which made it kind of difficult for me to watch. I’m not a huge fan of violence 🙅🏻 

Q: Do you have any other lesbian ships that you like? 

A: Well, I’ve watched the supercuts of pretty much EVERY lesbian ship out there, but I am a big Hollstein (Laura and Carmilla) fan. Spashley (Spencer and Ashley) was the first teen lesbian ship I was exposed to, so that will obviously always hold a special place in my heart. I loved Sanvers (Alex and Maggie), but since it ended I kind of lost interest in that ship. Big Calzona (Callie and Arizona) fan, and am super sad they’re no longer on the show. And I’m currently getting hooked on Avalance (Ava and Sara) now that we’ve just finished season 3 of Legends of Tomorrow. Basically, I’m very gay… 

Q: Do you have any fanfic recommendations? 

A: “From Afar” – Avrilsky. I know it’s popular, but I really enjoyed that one. Also, “How do I wrap my heart up for Christmas” by breezered is short, but sweet. 

Someone asked for me to tell my coming out story, and I’m going to make a separate post about that one tomorrow where I’ll share my story. So if you’re the person who asked me that, don’t worry, your question was not ignored and I will answer it! 

Thank you to all who sent me questions! ❤️

here’s my oscar winners review that absolutely no one asked for (keep reading)

have i seen enough films of 2018 to actually be doing this? am i an actual film critic? no, of course not, but i’ve got lots of opinions and that’s why i’m posting this! in bold are the winners, in italics are my pick of what should’ve won, and if there was a category that i really knew nothing about, it will not be included. also we’re saving the best for last so if you want my hottest and fully developed takes you might as well go to the end of this post

Best Animated Short: Bao, Animal Behaviour, Late Afternoon, One Small Step, Weekends

i did not see any of the other animated shorts on this list but bao, which maybe says something, but i remember seeing this in theaters along with many other trailers/adverts while waiting to see bohemian rhapsody (wow...) and it was so, very emotional. perhaps it even took the spotlight of that whole movie experience? the animation was beautiful, the story was heart-wrenching, and i believe every parent and those who want to become a parent one day should take the time to watch this.

Best Animated Feature: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Incredibles 2, Isle of Dogs, Mirai, Ralph Breaks the Internet

well deserved, the animation in this movie was— and i’m being very serious when i say this— groundbreaking. in the least, it has shown animators that realism is not always the goal, and being experimental can certainly pay off. the concept this movie has with all the inter-dimensional spidermans joining our protagonist miles was genius, and when i realized that there would be multiples of them due to the multiple sets of intros we were given, it was hilarious and perfectly entertaining. i don’t think anyone can go into this movie and not enjoy it. i honestly thought incredibles 2 was going to win, just simply due to my lack of faith in the academy, but thankfully that did not happen. as far as the others, they were all definitely deserving of their oscar nomination, but the oscar win had to go to spider-verse.

Best Film Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody, BlacKkKlansman, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice

i mean... bohemian rhapsody? surely there’s something else... that was maybe even a little bit more deserving... than that. surely academy, surely you can do better. or can you? bohemian rhapsody had some of the worst editing in a major film that i’ve seen. i mean, did you just like how the movie made you FEEL, academy?! be honest you can say it. i loved we will rock you. but that’s not editing! i mean, this alone made me seasick: https://twitter.com/jesssetaylor/status/1097712834643984390. i would’ve loved to see the favourite win, as the editing in that movie represented it so well. the editing created a fully immersive experience, and the short, witty, snappy quips that were highlighted by the editing made the viewing experience all the more hilarious. the title sequences alone that were edited in gave me a purpose to watch the scenes a bit more closer than i initially would’ve; searching for the line that was given the status of the title for that section. i haven’t seen blacKkKlansman but if that had won, i wouldn’t have been mad about it, as i’ve heard great things. but ultimately, the favourite deserved this oscar. 

Best Visual Effects: First Man, Avengers: Infinity War, Christopher Robin, Ready Player One, Solo: A Star Wars Story

i’m just glad avengers didn’t get this

Best Sound Mixing: Bohemian Rhapsody, Black Panther, First Man, Roma, A Star Is Born

now best sound mixing, i suppose i can understand. the sound in this movie WAS the movie. i felt like i was actually in concert, experiencing queen live, so i understand. it was very good. i could have seen ASIB taking this oscar as well, due to everyone raving about the music, but perhaps this was the one oscar that bohemian rhapsody actually deserved.

Best Sound Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody, Black Panther, First Man, A Quiet Place, Roma

nope, nope, nope. again, mixing i understand, but editing? all they did was edit in the songs mate... roma should have won this. the sounds in that movie made me feel like i was actually there, experiencing the water dripping down from the buildings, creating a puddle. washing the floor, witnessing a protest, being outside when i’m actually inside— watching the movie with my family. it was so realistic; i was completely taken. dissatisfied completely with this one!

Best Original Score: Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, If Beale Street Could Talk, Isle of Dogs, Mary Poppins Returns

nicholas britell i’m so, so sorry. everyone was talking about how great the score was for black panther, and while there were some good songs, i don’t think it deserved the oscar win. definitely deserved a nomination, but a win? i’m not so sure. if beale street could talk, now that was a score that was truly deserving of this. very disappointed that if beale street could talk’s only win was for regina king’s performance. it definitely at least deserved this oscar as well.

Best Production Design: Black Panther, The Favourite, First Man, Mary Poppins Returns, Roma

i definitely understand this win, black panther was breathtaking in terms of the beauty of the production. congratulations hannah beachler and jay hart! i would’ve been happy to see the favourite also win this category, but black panther deserved it!

Best Foreign-Language Film: Roma, Capernaum, Cold War, Never Look Away, Shoplifters

now, at first, BEFORE best picture was announced, i was confused as to why roma was even in this category. should a foreign-language film that is also nominated for best picture even be in this category? i mean, obviously it would win! and it did. i fully expected roma to win best picture (more on that later) but due to it not winning best picture, i’m very glad that it at least won best foreign-language film. but cuarón, just go ahead and give the oscar to yalitza aparicio!

Best Costume Design: Black Panther, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, The Favourite, Mary Poppins Returns, Mary Queen of Scots

again, the costume design was amazing in black panther, and this was a win that was very deserving. but would i have liked to see the favourite win? yeah, but that’s just my own selfish gay opinion— black panther winning was definitely the right choice

Best Cinematography: Roma, The Favourite, Never Look Away, A Star Is Born, Cold War

roma deserved this, period! the cinematography was immersive, it was emotional, it was everything that it needed to be. do i even need to say more?

Best Original Screenplay: Green Book, The Favourite, First Reformed, Roma, Vice

okay, i didn’t even see first reformed and i know that it should’ve won. i mean, first reformed should have been nominated for best picture. i also would have been completely happy with the favourite winning. roma, i should mention, i would not have wanted to win because cuarón really just stole a woman’s story and made it his own, completely disregarding the feelings of the woman it was based on

Best Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali (Green Book), Adam Driver (BlacKkKlansman), Sam Elliott (A Star Is Born), Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?), Sam Rockwell (Vice)

i mean, best supporting actor? mahershala ali? he should be considered the lead actor of green book, but due to the movie just being terrible and racist and inaccurate, i guess he’s the supporting actor! other than that, i love mahershala ali so i’m just glad he got an oscar.

Best Supporting Actress: Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk), Amy Adams (Vice), Marina de Tavira (Roma), Emma Stone (The Favourite), Rachel Weisz (The Favourite)

well deserved! i would have loved to also see stone or weisz take this as well, but i think the fact that they were both nominated from the same movie just goes to show that this movie had amazing acting, which makes me happy. i’m glad if beale street could talk and regina king’s superb acting abilities are being recognized, as well, therefore i’m pretty happy with this.

Best Actor: Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody), Christian Bale (Vice), Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born), Willem Dafoe (At Eternity's Gate), Viggo Mortensen (Green Book)

willem dafoe... maybe next year, huh? i don’t understand the appeal for rami malek winning. i used to love the man, but things he has done has shown his arrogance, so i’m a bit unsure of him recently. i’m not mad that he won, and it’s a great win for the MENA community (that i am apart of), so for that reason i’m satisfied.

Best Actress: Olivia Colman (The Favourite), Glenn Close (The Wife), Yalitza Aparicio (Roma), Lady Gaga (A Star Is Born), Melissa McCarthy (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)

olivia colman you earned it, fair and square. this was the big win for the favourite last night. as the night got closer to this announcment, i was losing faith and just expected gaga or aparicio to go ahead and take it. and as it got even closer, i just thought aparicio would win. but olivia colman, whew. her acting was stunning in the favourite. her character consumed the movie, as she should have, and she depicted queen anne’s tragedy perfectly. yalitza aparicio’s performance in roma was very good, but i did not feel the emotion from her character as viscerally as i did from olivia colman’s performance. i really thought the night would go on with the favourite winning absolutely nothing, so thank god that they got this, because olivia colman was the clear choice! that film was fantastic, and i’m glad it got a least a little bit of recognition, even though it definitely deserved at least one other oscar (cough) best flim editing (cough). queen anne was hilarious, she was maddening, she was infuriating, she was miserable, she was everything. also sorry glenn close... maybe next time?

Best Director: Alfonso Cuarón (Roma), Yorgos Lanthimos (The Favourite), Spike Lee (BlacKkKlansman), Adam McKay (Vice), Pawel Pawlikowski (Cold War)

okay cuarón, just give your oscar to yalitza aparicio. no? okay. well then, yorgos lanthimos you deserved it. the favourite was edited perfectly. the delivery of the lines was perfect. the panning from one character to the next, everything about it was done with eloquence. and don’t get me started on the music— every time viola d’amore concerto in a minor, rv. 397 i. vivace started playing just as weisz or stone did something to piss off the other, it was SO SATISFYING! of course i was only rooting for only one of them (especially by the end), but either way i felt what they were feeling in those moments. the music, the editing, the camerawork, the acting, the script... it all worked harmoniously in order to create the masterpiece that was the favourite. also, from a viola player, thank you for making the main theme a viola concerto, yorgos. also in a minor? that’s taste. this directing deserved an oscar win, not just a nomination.

Best Picture: Green Book, Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favourite, Roma, A Star Is Born, Vice

okay here we go... here we go. green book? GREEN BOOK? no. nope. literally any film besides this one please. okay let’s get started... green book is inaccurate, it’s a white savior story, it was a movie that was supposed to be about don shirley, the world class pianist, but instead is about this random fucking cab driver? and don shirley’s family have said that it was inaccurate and that it poorly represented actual events of shirley’s life. as a piano player... i am disgusted. also if you were going to give the oscar to a flim depicting racism... why not give it to blacKkKlansman? you know, the movie talking about racism that was actually created by black people and not just a team of white men? fuck you, green book! i fully expected roma to win, and oh, how wrong was i. roma deserved best picture. green book is a joke. i obviously would have liked to see the favourite win, because a gay movie about GIRLS! would have been nice to actually get some recognition. roma, the favourite, blacKkKlansman. these were the choices that should have gotten best picture. the others, eh. also why was black panther even in the nominations? like, seriously... that should have been replaced with if beale street could talk. and also, since they had ten slots anyway, first reformed should have gotten a nomination as well. this was by far the most disappointing win of the night AND confusing, for me personally (more confusing than bohemian rhapsody winning best film editing, which says something). just a terrible choice. this movie should not have even been nominated, but the academy is dumb. seriously though, NOT roma?

okay that’s it folks, those are my opinions. all in all, not a great oscars. some really good wins, though, like olivia colman’s win and spider-verse. also roma for best foreign. basically everything that was bolded and italics on this post were pretty good wins. but despite that, there were some VERY bad ones. 

“we are both” impressions

Well, I was threatened with promised more Cora and wouldn't you know it, the episode delivered!

Twice.

And she’s gotten worse. Kind of. At least I know I didn’t misremember that bit. Seriously, how is everything this woman does so creepy? No, don't answer that. I think I know.

Some thoughts under the cut.

This is another instance where I feel like one of the plots was done a disservice by being told in the same episode as another. Because technically the whole "managing the crisis" plot was necessary and interesting, and it's nice to see that David seems to have picked up kingship by osmosis after all. And an honourable mention goes to that scene with him and Rumplestiltskin in the shop, because that was both tense and very amusing. But...

And this is what I mean by ‘worse’.

Yeah. Teensy bit distracted.

Holy cow. That flashback. That modern day plot, for that matter. Let's start there. I may have mentioned that I was certain Regina would screw up the whole thing with Henry in some way? Well, screw up she did!

But at least she did it with style?

Yyyyeah, gotta say I was kind of with Gold on the whole "I can see her in you" at that point. And believe me, I was cursing like a sailor when he first said that, because that was an incredibly low blow. Not wrong, as it turned out but still. Ouch.

Deja-vu...

I absolutely adored the scene in Henry's room, even as it was breaking my heart into tiny little pieces. Because he's right, she did hurt him with her behaviour. Badly. And while I'm glad it got addressed, at the same time... the kid shouldn't have been the one who had to do it. That was just grossly unfair on him.

And then Regina did something I definitely wasn't expecting. Namely, stop and think for five seconds about what she was doing. I was shocked. Shocked, I say. And then she let him go. Looks like she somehow managed to pick up some decent parenting instincts after all.

"I don't know how to love very well" ...I feel like this arc has a title now

And of course she didn't burn the book. ::sigh:: I knew she wouldn't, and yet... there was this split second where I just really hoped I'd be wrong. Ah well. I'm sure that will never come up again.

So. That's how Regina got into magic, is it? Gotta say, I can't really blame the girl. I can absolutely blame her for all the stuff later, but right here? Yeah, no. It's pretty obvious that her father, nice man though he might be, wasn't going to do anything to help.

That's... not really helping, either. Hilarious, but not helpful.

I gather Cora is the Queen of Hearts? I mean, nobody said it, but come on. She’s called Cora. She went through a looking glass. I’d bet my left eyebrow she wound up in Wonderland, and what else is she going to do, except take over?

And kudos to both actors in the scene between Rumplestiltskin and young Regina. It was... I don't even know, but I was making high-pitched noises of fannish happiness the entire time they were talking. Maybe because it was so different from their conversations in the modern day plot. There’s a whole history of bitterness missing. Also was that just me or was Rumplestiltskin a lot more... mature when talking to her? Not in a weird way, just in a more "mentor-y" one. (I don't want to say "paternal", because that's the sort of brain breaker I really don't need)

But oooh, that scene near the end. When she was just about to leave. Rumple, you know I love you, but there are days where I still want to smack you with a rolled-up newspaper. Why couldn't you just let her go?

Yes, yes. I know why. Big bad curse. Someone’s gotta do it, etc. But let me rage a little.

Look. Yes, I get that she made her own choices for good or bad (and mostly bad, really), but at the same time... she's definitely being pointed in a certain direction. And the worst thing is that I already know how it ends. ::long sigh::

The little stinger from Emma and Snow was... deeply infuriating. Not in a bad-storytelling way or anything, but mostly because it ended with me shouting at the screen with "DO NOT TRUST HER" and "RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!". Among less charitable things.

Also, what the hell is wrong with you people? They literally did nothing except turn up in a pile of LEGO bricks and you tie them to your horse and make them stumble through uneven terrain for a whole day? Lovely hospitality, there.

On a closing note -- I really loved all the little codas a the end of the episode. They made the town feel alive, in a way that goes on even when the camera isn't necessarily pointed there.

::stands sadly yet ominously::

So it’s pretty much the unspoken consensus that Gold wanted to leave town to find Baelfire, right? Again, can’t really blame the guy. For a lot of other crap, but not for that. Just... someone stop him before he does something stupid. Again.

What’s Helping Me Right Now

READING

Godshot by Chelsea Bieker - The best distraction is gripping, fictional misery! This coming-of-age novel is set in Peaches, California, a drought-stricken rural town with two major rulers: the raisin industry and a religious cult. I’m only halfway through, but I'm pretty sure our teen protagonist is somehow going to use romance books to save herself. Bonus recommendation: order a (glittery! gold!) hardcover copy from your favorite indie bookstore.

So We Can Glow by Leesa Cross-Smith - I bought this story collection literally moments before Community Bookstore closed to the public, and every day I thank my past self for being so smart. Did Leesa have a vision that the world would desperately need stories like hers? Bite-size, lyrical, delicious, with titles like “Tim Riggins Would’ve Smoked” and “Girlheart Cake with Glitter Frosting.” I read at least one story whenever I watch too much news.

Writers & Lovers by Lily King - I am recommending this perfect book to everyone. It’s hopeful, it’s funny, it’s romantic, it’s sad, and it’s set in the 1990s so it is blessedly free of the internet!

LISTENING

WQXR.org - God bless New York’s classical music radio station. Midday Mozart, Score at Four, I love it all. 

Who? Weekly by Bobby Finger & Lindsey Weber - An absolutely hilarious podcast about the Whos and Thems of pop culture. I don’t know who they’re talking about at least 30% of the time, but that’s sort of the point. It’s the kind of podcast that makes you feel like you’re out to dinner with your funniest friends.

A Beautiful Mess by Elsie Larson & Emma Chapman - They’re sisters, they’re business partners, they’re influencers, they’re nerds. This podcast is fairly new but it’s already covered a range of topics: working with family, childhood magic, home renovation, wedding traditions. I find their sister banter very soothing and they always give solid advice.

Fake Doctors, Real Friends by Zach Braff & Donald Faison - It’s the TV show rewatch podcast of my dreams! The real-life JD and Turk are chatting about every episode of one of my most beloved shows, Scrubs. 

This Creative Life by Sara Zarr - I’m a huge fan of Sara’s YA books, and she recently resurrected her podcast to chat with fellow creatives about how they work. It truly fulfills my Author Stalker needs. 

WATCHING

Virtual Author Events - Books are still being published, and while I’m sad that authors (especially debut authors) won’t get to celebrate their work at in-person readings, indie bookstores saved the day per usual and are hosting virtual readings and Q&As. Thanks to Politics & Prose, I got to hear Lily King talk about Writers & Lovers, and I’m looking forward to upcoming virtual events hosted by Greenlight Bookstore and Books Are Magic. Yay bookstores!

Stumptown - A sexy, boozy, heartwarming detective show starring Cobie Smulders and Jake Johnson. It’s so good! Like Veronica Mars but honestly kind of better, shhh. This one’s on Hulu. 

Uncorked - I love wholesome, coming-of-age movies about good people getting on track and figuring out their lives. It gives me hope, ya know? (I like to think I’m good and will someday get on track myself. Tick tock!) Should this handsome young man take over his father’s barbecue business OR should he follow his dreams of becoming a sommelier? A visually stunning movie, especially if you’re into food and wine. The best parts are the family scenes; Niecy Nash is queen of breaking hearts. This one’s on Netflix.

Unorthodox - Based on Deborah Feldman’s memoir about escaping her Hasidic community, this miniseries is GORGEOUS and thrilling. The actors are incredible. I watched this with some friends on Netflix Party and we all cried at the ending. 

SUBSCRIBING

Drawing Links by Edith Zimmerman - A newsletter containing nonfiction (mostly memoir-ish) comics, plus a handful of interesting links. Whimsical and wise! I’m always ecstatic when I see a new Drawing Links has arrived.

Everything Happened by Evelyn Ebert - Another newsletter, this one a series of extremely moving, funny personal essays. I could read this woman’s writing forever and I hope she publishes a book someday.

NYT Cooking - Ugh, I went quarantine crazy and bought a subscription to this cooking app. I regret to inform you that it’s more than worth the cost. I love their recipe collections and how you can search by ingredient and save whatever to a digital recipe box. Plus now I get Sam Sifton’s newsletter and his food writing is so dreamy, oo lala. (If you can’t spend the money right now, I believe they’ve made a lot of recipes available for free thanks to the ongoing global nightmare.)

here’s my oscar winners review that absolutely no one asked for:

i’ve specified which films won and which were my personal choice, and if there was a category that i really knew nothing about, it will not be included. also we’re saving the best for last so if you want my hottest and fully developed takes you might as well go to the end of this post

also to preface: i’ve got a lot of opinions

Best Animated Short: Bao (WINNER, MY PICK), Animal Behaviour, Late Afternoon, One Small Step, Weekends

i did not see any of the other animated shorts on this list but bao, which maybe says something, but i remember seeing this in theaters along with many other trailers/adverts while waiting to see Bohemian Rhapsody (wow…) and it was so, very emotional. perhaps it even took the spotlight of that whole movie experience? the animation was beautiful, the story was heart-wrenching, and i believe every parent and those who want to become a parent one day should take the time to watch this.

Best Animated Feature: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (WINNER, MY PICK), Incredibles 2, Isle of Dogs, Mirai, Ralph Breaks the Internet

well deserved, the animation in this movie was— and i’m being very serious when i say this— groundbreaking. in the least, it has shown animators that realism is not always the goal, and being experimental can certainly pay off. the concept this movie has with all the inter-dimensional spidermans joining our protagonist miles was genius, and when i realized that there would be multiples of them due to the multiple sets of intros we were given, it was hilarious and perfectly entertaining. i don’t think anyone can go into this movie and not enjoy it. i honestly thought incredibles 2 was going to win, just simply due to my lack of faith in the academy, but thankfully that did not happen. as far as the others, they were all definitely deserving of their oscar nomination, but the oscar win had to go to spider-verse.

Best Film Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody (WINNER), BlacKkKlansman, The Favourite (MY PICK), Green Book, Vice

i mean… bohemian rhapsody? surely there’s something else… that was maybe even a little bit more deserving… than that. surely academy, surely you can do better. or can you? bohemian rhapsody had some of the worst editing in a major film that i’ve seen. i mean, did you just like how the movie made you FEEL, academy?! be honest you can say it. i loved we will rock you. but that’s not editing! i mean, this alone gave me vertigo: https://twitter.com/jesssetaylor/status/1097712834643984390. i would’ve loved to see the favourite win, as the editing in that movie represented it so well. the editing created a fully immersive experience, and the short, witty, snappy quips that were highlighted by the editing made the viewing experience all the more hilarious. the title sequences alone that were edited in gave me a purpose to watch the scenes a bit more closer than i initially would’ve; searching for the line that was given the status of the title for that section. i haven’t seen blacKkKlansman but if that had won, i wouldn’t have been mad about it, as i’ve heard great things. but ultimately, the favourite deserved this oscar.

Best Visual Effects: First Man (WINNER, MY PICK), Avengers: Infinity War, Christopher Robin, Ready Player One, Solo: A Star Wars Story

i’m just glad avengers didn’t get this

Best Sound Mixing: Bohemian Rhapsody (WINNER, MY PICK), Black Panther, First Man, Roma, A Star Is Born

now best sound mixing, i suppose i can understand. the sound in this movie WAS the movie. i felt like i was actually in concert, experiencing queen live, so i understand. it was very good. i could have seen ASIB taking this oscar as well, due to everyone raving about the music, but perhaps this was the one oscar that bohemian rhapsody actually deserved.

Best Sound Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody (WINNER), Black Panther, First Man, A Quiet Place, Roma (MY PICK)

nope, nope, nope. again, mixing i understand, but editing? all they did was edit in the songs mate… roma should have won this. the sounds in that movie made me feel like i was actually there, experiencing the water dripping down from the buildings, creating a puddle. washing the floor, witnessing a protest, being outside when i’m actually inside— watching the movie with my family. it was so realistic; i was completely taken. dissatisfied completely with this one!

Best Original Score: Black Panther (WINNER), BlacKkKlansman, If Beale Street Could Talk (MY PICK), Isle of Dogs, Mary Poppins Returns

nicholas britell i’m so, so sorry. everyone was talking about how great the score was for black panther, and while there were some good songs, i don’t think it deserved the oscar win. definitely deserved a nomination, but a win? i’m not so sure. if beale street could talk, now that was a score that was truly deserving of this. very disappointed that if beale street could talk’s only win was for regina king’s performance. it definitely at least deserved this oscar as well.

Best Production Design: Black Panther (WINNER, MY PICK), The Favourite, First Man, Mary Poppins Returns, Roma

i definitely understand this win, black panther was breathtaking in terms of the beauty of the production. congratulations hannah beachler and jay hart! i would’ve been happy to see the favourite also win this category, but black panther deserved it!

Best Foreign-Language Film: Roma (WINNER, MY PICK), Capernaum, Cold War, Never Look Away, Shoplifters

now, at first, BEFORE best picture was announced, i was confused as to why roma was even in this category. should a foreign-language film that is also nominated for best picture even be in this category? i mean, obviously it would win! and it did. i fully expected roma to win best picture (more on that later) but due to it not winning best picture, i’m very glad that it at least won best foreign-language film. but cuarón, just go ahead and give the oscar to yalitza aparicio!

Best Costume Design: Black Panther (WINNER, MY PICK), The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, The Favourite, Mary Poppins Returns, Mary Queen of Scots

again, the costume design was amazing in black panther, and this was a win that was very deserving. but would i have liked to see the favourite win? yeah, but that’s just my own selfish gay opinion— black panther winning was definitely the right choice

Best Cinematography: Roma (WINNER, MY PICK), The Favourite, Never Look Away, A Star Is Born, Cold War

roma deserved this, period! the cinematography was immersive, it was emotional, it was everything that it needed to be. do i even need to say more?

Best Original Screenplay: Green Book (WINNER), The Favourite (MY PICK), First Reformed, Roma, Vice

okay, i didn’t even see first reformed and i know that it should’ve won. i mean, first reformed should have been nominated for best picture. i also would have been completely happy with the favourite winning. roma, i should mention, i would not have wanted to win because cuarón really just stole a woman’s story and made it his own, completely disregarding the feelings of the woman it was based on

Best Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali (WINNER, MY PICK) (Green Book), Adam Driver (BlacKkKlansman), Sam Elliott (A Star Is Born), Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?), Sam Rockwell (Vice)

i mean, best supporting actor? mahershala ali? he should be considered the lead actor of green book, but due to the movie just being terrible and racist and inaccurate, i guess he’s the supporting actor! other than that, i love mahershala ali so i’m just glad he got an oscar.

Best Supporting Actress: Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk) (WINNER, MY PICK), Amy Adams (Vice), Marina de Tavira (Roma), Emma Stone (The Favourite), Rachel Weisz (The Favourite)

well deserved! i would have loved to also see stone or weisz take this as well, but i think the fact that they were both nominated from the same movie just goes to show that this movie had amazing acting, which makes me happy. i’m glad if beale street could talk and regina king’s superb acting abilities are being recognized, as well, therefore i’m pretty happy with this.

Best Actor: Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody) (WINNER), Christian Bale (Vice), Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born), Willem Dafoe (At Eternity’s Gate) (MY PICK), Viggo Mortensen (Green Book)

willem dafoe… maybe next year, huh? i don’t understand the appeal for rami malek winning. i used to love the man, but things he has done has shown his arrogance, so i’m a bit unsure of him recently. i’m not mad that he won, and it’s a great win for the MENA community (that i am apart of), so for that reason i’m satisfied.

Best Actress: Olivia Colman (The Favourite) (WINNER, MY PICK), Glenn Close (The Wife), Yalitza Aparicio (Roma), Lady Gaga (A Star Is Born), Melissa McCarthy (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)

olivia colman you earned it, fair and square. this was the big win for the favourite last night. as the night got closer to this announcment, i was losing faith and just expected gaga or aparicio to go ahead and take it. and as it got even closer, i just thought aparicio would win. but olivia colman, whew. her acting was stunning in the favourite. her character consumed the movie, as she should have, and she depicted queen anne’s tragedy perfectly. yalitza aparicio’s performance in roma was very good, but i did not feel the emotion from her character as viscerally as i did from olivia colman’s performance. i really thought the night would go on with the favourite winning absolutely nothing, so thank god that they got this, because olivia colman was the clear choice! that film was fantastic, and i’m glad it got a least a little bit of recognition, even though it definitely deserved at least one other oscar (cough) best flim editing (cough). queen anne was hilarious, she was maddening, she was infuriating, she was miserable, she was everything. also sorry glenn close… maybe next time?

Best Director: Alfonso Cuarón (Roma) (WINNER), Yorgos Lanthimos (The Favourite) (MY PICK), Spike Lee (BlacKkKlansman), Adam McKay (Vice), Pawel Pawlikowski (Cold War)

okay cuarón, just give your oscar to yalitza aparicio. no? okay. well then, yorgos lanthimos you deserved it. the favourite was edited perfectly. the delivery of the lines was perfect. the panning from one character to the next, everything about it was done with eloquence. and don’t get me started on the music— every time viola d’amore concerto in a minor, rv. 397 i. vivace started playing just as weisz or stone did something to piss off the other, it was SO SATISFYING! of course i was only rooting for only one of them (especially by the end), but either way i felt what they were feeling in those moments. the music, the editing, the camerawork, the acting, the script… it all worked harmoniously in order to create the masterpiece that was the favourite. also, from a viola player, thank you for making the main theme a viola concerto, yorgos. also in a minor? that’s taste. this directing deserved an oscar win, not just a nomination.

Best Picture: Green Book (WINNER), Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman (MY PICK), Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favourite (MY PICK), Roma (MY PICK), A Star Is Born, Vice

okay here we go… here we go. green book? GREEN BOOK? no. nope. literally any film besides this one please. okay let’s get started… green book is inaccurate, it’s a white savior story, it was a movie that was supposed to be about don shirley, the world class pianist, but instead is about this random fucking cab driver? and don shirley’s family have said that it was inaccurate and that it poorly represented actual events of shirley’s life. as a piano player… i am disgusted. also if you were going to give the oscar to a flim depicting racism… why not give it to blacKkKlansman? you know, the movie talking about racism that was actually created by black people and not just a team of white men? fuck you, green book! i fully expected roma to win, and oh, how wrong was i. roma deserved best picture. green book is a joke. i obviously would have liked to see the favourite win, because a gay movie about GIRLS! would have been nice to actually get some recognition. roma, the favourite, blacKkKlansman. these were the choices that should have gotten best picture. the others, eh. also why was black panther even in the nominations? like, seriously… that should have been replaced with if beale street could talk. and also, since they had ten slots anyway, first reformed should have gotten a nomination as well. this was by far the most disappointing win of the night AND confusing, for me personally (more confusing than bohemian rhapsody winning best film editing, which says something). just a terrible choice. this movie should not have even been nominated, but the academy is dumb. seriously though, NOT roma?

okay that’s it folks, those are my opinions. all in all, not a great oscars. some really good wins, though, like olivia colman’s win and spider-verse. also roma for best foreign. basically everything that was bolded and italics on this post were pretty good wins. but despite that, there were some VERY bad ones.

The Top Twenty Books I Read in 2016

Oh, 2016. The year that gave me a promising new life with one hand and ripped up what peace of mind I had left with the other. What better way to deal with such a confusing emotional state than to read a bunch of wonderful books, many about incredibly tough subjects? Arguably, there are many better ways, but I like reading.

20. Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick (2013)

Traumatized seventeen-year-old Leonard Peacock makes a plan to kill his former abuser and then himself, but first he needs to visit four people who are important to him and say goodbye (without, of course, letting them know he’s saying goodbye). Throughout the day, he’s caught between trying to talk himself out of his horrible goal and feeling he has no other option. This is an affecting, compulsively readable novel with experimental bits that really pay off (especially Leonard’s letters to himself from a semi-dystopian future).

19. Swamplandia! by Karen Russell (2011)

After her mother’s untimely death, thirteen-year-old Ava Bigtree’s family falls apart, along with their Floridian gator-wrestling theme park. Her senile grandfather is sent to a nursing home, her brother runs away to another theme park, and her father departs for the mainland for an indefinite time, leaving Ava alone with her séance-obsessed older sister Osceola. Then Osceola elopes with a ghost, driving Ava to take a perilous journey into the swamp.  At turns fanciful and brutal, this is a fascinating and spooky story about grief and how scary nature is.

18. Sweetest Scoundrel by Elizabeth Hoyt (2015)

In 1740s London, withdrawn Eve Dinwoody is appointed by her half-brother to sort out the accounts of his investment, a pleasure garden owned by the boisterous middle-class Asa Makepeace. Eve and Asa are complete opposites who disagree about all matters financial, but they also have chemistry and actually turn out to care about each other’s problems. The family relationships in this romance are particularly strong, plus I liked that the aristocratic characters were so tangential to the story; it’s mostly a story about theatre people.

17. Duke of Pleasure by Elizabeth Hoyt (2016)

Alf is a messenger/informant by day, a masked vigilante by night, and, unbeknownst to everyone she’s met since early childhood, a woman. Hugh Fitzroy, the Duke of Kyle, is a widowed father of two bent on bringing down a ridiculously depraved secret society. When Alf gets beaten up while in his employ, Hugh persuades her to stay in his home for protection…which leads to some complicated feelings for Alf (and Hugh, once he realizes she’s not a teenage boy). Like Sweetest Scoundrel, this is a part of the Maiden Lane series, and it’s a fine installment: tightly plotted and prettily written, with a delightfully unusual heroine and a protective hero of the best type.

16. Silver Deceptions by Sabrina Jeffries (1994, revised for 2016 reissue)

During the height of the English Restoration, Annabelle Taylor takes to the London stage and purposefully cultivates a bad reputation with the goal of finding out and shaming the aristocratic father who abandoned her.  Unfortunately, her discreet inquiries about his identity lead the king’s spies to think she has an anti-Royalist agenda. Colin Jeffreys, Lord Hampden, is sent to find out what her deal is, only to get caught up in something way more risky than a Roundhead plot (to his heart, anyway). This is easily the best Restoration romance I’ve read, with a beautifully realized setting, a fast-moving plot, and multilayered protagonists.

15. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier (1938)

An unnamed narrator, young and awkward and alone in the world, marries the handsome, haunted Maxime de Winter after a whirlwind courtship in Monte Carlo. The problem is that she has trouble adjusting to being lady of the manor, plus he seems just shattered over the death of his beautiful, accomplished late wife…but is that what’s really going on? Kind of! I loved the weird, funny narrator, and the initial romance between her and Maxime is so sweet that its devolution once they get to Manderley hit me hard.

14. Sylvester, or the Wicked Uncle by Georgette Heyer (1957)

Sylvester Rayne, the Duke of Salford, does not want to marry Phoebe Marlow, the mousy granddaughter of his godmother…but he’s still miffed when she flees her father’s house in order to avoid marrying him. Then he finds out that she wrote a popular gothic novel whose hero bears a striking resemblance to him, and he’s really annoyed. This is a terrific comedy—the two unplanned road trips are particularly delightful. I also liked the heroine and how she comes into her own after years of being cowed by her stepmother.

13. Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt (2016)

Valentine Napier, the Duke of Montgomery (and half-brother to Eve Dinwoody), is a bad, bad man. He blackmails his peers, tries to abduct heiresses (he’s not that great at it), and pretends that he’s done even worse. Bridget Crumb, his housekeeper, is working in his household in hopes of helping her mother. She has every reason to hate and fear him…but instead she thinks he’s full of shit but kind of likes him anyway. In turn, he’s intrigued by the fact that she has morals and wears a huge mobcap to hide her hair. This is a balls-out ludicrous romance novel in the best possible sense, with enough emotional pathos to keep me seriously invested.

12. Rose Under Fire by Elizabeth Wein (2013)

Rose Justice, a young American flying planes for the British Air Transport Auxiliary during WWII, is captured by the Germans during a mission in France. Sent to Ravensbrück, she barely manages to survive the experience with the help of her fellow political prisoners and poetry. This book is less twist-driven than its companion Code Name Verity—the reader isn’t kept in much suspense about Rose’s eventual escape, let alone surprised with any revelation—but it has every good thing in common with the other novel: a complex and human narrator, a focus on women’s contributions to WWII, and a message of steely hope in the face of evil.

11. Crispin: The End of Time by Avi (2010)

In the third and final installment of the starkly beautiful medieval-set Crispin trilogy, thirteen-year-old Crispin finds himself bereft and unable to speak the language in war-torn France. He tries to get to Iceland, where everyone is free according to his late mentor, but he falls into bad company and has existential crises along the way. If you enjoy the most heart-shattering parts of A Song of Ice and Fire but wish the series had a smidge less violence and a lot less sex, this series might be for you! The ending is satisfying and holds the hope of hope, but good lord does it put you through the wringer.

10. The Study of Seduction by Sabrina Jeffries (2016)

When Lady Clarissa Lindsey finds herself being stalked by a sleazy French diplomat, family friend Lord Blakesborough agrees to help her out. They tend to clash—she’s gregarious and fun-loving, while he’s reserved to the point of stuffiness—but she wants the best for him, too, and tries to teach him how to talk to ladies so he can find a wife. Of course, everything goes wrong and they end up marrying each other for convenience…only it’s not so convenient, because they want to bang each other something fierce, plus they both have sad pasts they can’t talk about easily. A beautiful, hopeful romance with two extremely endearing protagonists.

9. A Scandalous Countess by Jo Beverley (2009)

Georgia, Lady Maybury, was the toast of society…until her beloved young husband was killed in a duel and everyone (wrongly) thought it was with her lover. Now she’s coming out of mourning, but someone has resurrected the most vicious rumors about her. She finds an unexpected ally in Lord Dracy, an awkward, badly scarred ex-naval officer who secretly wants to marry her for her money (at first). This novel is a glorious melodrama with an intriguing mystery and a wonderfully complex heroine.

8. Once Upon a Marquess by Courtney Milan (2015)

Lady Judith Worth used to have everything, but then her father was exposed as a traitor and committed suicide. Now she can barely pay rent on her shabby London home and all her siblings are either missing or in distress, but she’s still loathe to accept help from Lord Ashford, an old friend whose investigations helped bring about her family’s ruin. His charm, willingness to assist her, and ready acknowledgment that she has a right to be angry make it a bit easier, though. Courtney Milan is a National Treasure, and this complex series debut, alternately hilarious and heartrending, is among her best.

7. Emma by Jane Austen (1815)

Emma Woodhouse, rich and pretty and beloved by most, tries to be a good person, but that turns out to be a confusing business. I was frequently irritated by this novel, but honestly that made me love it more. On several occasions, Emma actually shocked me with her bad judgment, callousness, and even malice. At the same time, I saw that she was genuinely trying to do the right thing, even though she was severely hampered by classism and a lack of self-awareness. The contrast and the questions it raises are fascinating.

6. The Assassination of Margaret Thatcher by Hilary Mantel (2014)

This gorgeously written, endlessly unnerving anthology includes “The School of English” (the heartbreaking, infuriating tale of a London housekeeper starting a new job), “How Shall I Know You?” (the story of a pitying, pitiable writer on a miserable book tour), and the title story (a snapshot of an alternate history). Every story has excellent style and atmosphere; Mantel has a particular talent for making the reader feel queasy and excited at the same time.

5. Fortune Favors the Wicked by Theresa Romain (2016)

World-weary courtesan Charlotte Perry returns to her hometown in search of a stolen hoard, hoping that the reward will allow her to build a new life for herself and her “niece.” Lieutenant Benedict Frost, recently blinded and restless, travels to the same location in hopes of establishing a household where he can live with his younger sister. They should be adversaries…but perhaps they will not be? This was a nearly perfect romance; the central relationship was delicious, all the side characters were great, and the plot was very well-constructed.

4. The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith (2016)

After her brother’s best friend rapes her in her own bedroom, high school freshman Eden’s primary reaction is rage—not only at her rapist, but at the parents who overlook her, at the brother she’s sure wouldn’t believe her, and at herself for being quiet and trusting. Over the next few years, she builds a new identity for herself; unfortunately, it comes with self-destructive behavior and a tendency to push everyone away. This story is ultimately a hopeful one, but it’s a damn hard read. I cried like a tiny baby girl, and I often felt incredibly angry. Eden is a wonderful narrator, clear-eyed but still unable to extract herself from a morass of silence and self-punishment without help.

3. Room by Emma Donoghue (2010)

Five-year-old Jack has never left the room where he was born to his captive mother, or even learned that the outside world they see on television is real. All he knows is Room and Ma…until she tells him there’s a whole universe outside and shares her desperate escape plan. Room is an absolutely beautiful story, and it’s all the more wonderful because the characters are so individualized. Jack is a sweetheart, but he also does weird kid stuff, from the adorable (declaring broccoli his “enemy food”) to the dangerously inconvenient (getting angry at his mom when she tries to explain the outside world). Ma is even more complex, and it’s truly impressive how Donoghue can convey her anger, compassion, youthfulness, maturity, and everything else when she’s filtered entirely through her five-year-old son’s perspective. I also appreciated how much the novel is about recovery, with all its attendant joys and difficulties.

2. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (1969)

In her classic first memoir, Angelou shares the story of her childhood in Arkansas and then California. I loved this book almost as much as its sequel Gather Together in My Name; it’s just as funny, heartbreaking, and sharply insightful. It can also be a much tougher read, due to the trauma she experiences in her childhood and the near-constant racism she faces, but her exploration of these issues just makes the book more powerful.

1. Gather Together in My Name by Maya Angelou (1974)

In this memoir, Angelou relates her experiences as a young woman in post-WWII California. She tries to care for her new baby, find a purpose in life, and look for someone to love, but she runs into many obstacles: bad boyfriends, racism, anti-Communist paranoia, an unfaithful dance partner, and an unplanned foray into running a brothel, just to name a few. Angelou’s second memoir is glorious, funny and poignant and righteously angry at turns. Even though my experiences are very different from hers, I related hard to her loneliness, lack of direction, and premature regret. The best book I read all year.

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The Nerd's Watch: The Best Sci-Fi and Fantasy Streaming in September

Scott Pilgrim is coming to Netflix.Photo: Universal

You can get comprehensive lists of everything coming to streaming services anywhere. But half of those titles you don’t care about, and the other half are terrible. Where’s the good stuff? io9 is here to help.

Below you’ll find what we deem to be the best sci-fi and fantasy movies and TV coming to Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu in September.

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Wakanda forever…streaming on your TV.Photo: Disney

Netflix

Available September 1

Groundhog Day – Harold Ramis’ genius time travel comedy was a little under-appreciated when it was released but in the decades since, it’s become more and more revered. Deservedly so. It’s insanely rewatchable, funny, and heartwarming.

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King Kong – The Netflix press release just lists this as “King Kong,” but we’ve confirmed it’s Peter Jackson’s 2005 take on the giant ape story. Obviously, it isn’t the best version (that honor goes to the one that came out back in 1933), but it’s not too bad.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – No, it’s not as good as the book, but this adaptation of the wonderful, inventive Douglas Adams novel is about as good as you can get. It’s funny, it’s weird, it’s got a great cast, and it’s definitely worth a rewatch.

September 2

Lilo & Stitch and The Emperor’s New Groove – Besides the fact that these are both Disney animated films, they really don’t have much in common. But each is noteworthy in its own way and will make any kids in your orbit very happy, especially the charming, Hawaii-set extraterrestrial tale Lilo & Stitch.

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September 4

Black Panther – The highest-grossing U.S. film of the year—and one of the most entertaining, well-made films of any year—comes to Netflix, and now Wakanda really is forever.

September 7

Next Gen – To be fair, we don’t know if this Netflix original is good. But the trailer suggests a theatrical-worthy animated adventure about a young girl who befriends a killer robot. We’re intrigued.

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September 16

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World – Edgar Wright’s amazing, kinetic adaptation of the Bryan Lee O’Malley comic book series may be not just one of the best comic book movies of all time, but one of the best video game movies of all time too, despite not being about a video game. Also, much of the cast has gotten insanely famous since this movie so rewatching it has an added layer of awesome.

September 17

The Witch – If you’re reading this column, odds are you’ve seen The Witch already. If you haven’t, though, mark down this date. It’s one of the creepiest, most gusty horror movies in a long time, and is about a Puritan family being stalked by an ancient evil.

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September 21

Maniac – Again, we have yet to see this Netflix original limited series, but based on the brief glimpses that have been released, it feels safe to assume that Cary Fukunaga’s latest, which stars Emma Stone and Jonah Hill, will be pretty great.

September 25

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl – Though many things have changed about the Pirates franchise over the years (Johnny Depp’s public image, increasingly bad sequels, etc), this first film remains a modern miracle: a theme park ride that became an incredibly exciting and funny movie that holds up over repeat viewings.

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A Wrinkle in Time – The reviews on Ava DuVernay’s recent adaptation were pretty mixed. But now that it’s coming to Netflix, it feels like a good time to either revisit it with fresh eyes or see it for the first time, if you missed it in theaters.

September 26

The Hurricane Heist – Of all the great movies coming to streaming this month, this may be the one I’m most excited about. I haven’t seen it yet, but it feels like it would be the perfect, dumb film to stream and enjoy.

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Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood is coming to streaming.Photo: Warner Bros.

Amazon

Available September 1

Beowulf – I haven’t seen Robert Zemeckis’ performance capture retelling of the famous poem since it was released in 2007, but I loved it back then. I’m sure the effects don’t hold up 11 years later but I’d imagine the performances and script do. And now that it’s on streaming, I can check.

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Big Top Pee-wee – This sequel to 1986’s Pee-wee’s Big Adventure isn’t quite on that film’s level, but it’s still worth a watch. The weirdly wonderful, circus-set story is different and still perfect in a Pee-wee way.

Double Impact – Two Van Dammes for the price of one? Yes, please. Double Impact is undoubtedly one of the most memorable films of the action star’s career. Is it one of the best? Debatable, but it’s well worth a stream or two. (Also available on Hulu.)

Dragonheart – From the director of The Fast and the Furious as well as xXx comes this Dennis Quaid-starring fantasy adventure that was nominated for an Oscar for its CG dragons. It’s not all that memorable but it’s entertaining and exciting to be sure.

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Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters II – The original Ghostbusters is an all-time classic. The sequel isn’t, but still has its moments. Either way, Ghostbusters II on its worst day is one of the best movies coming to streaming, and if you can watch the original, too, that’s even better.

Prancer – The 1989 Christmas tale Prancer is one of those movies you definitely saw when you were growing up, really liked, but probably haven’t thought about in 20 years. Now it’s on Amazon to help you jump-start that nostalgic Christmas spirit.

Pumpkinhead and Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings – Halloween is just around the corner, so it’s cool that one of the lesser-known horror franchises is coming to streaming. Only the first film, directed by Stan Winston, was released theatrically, but if you want a good cult horror series to dive into, here’s a great start. (Also available on Hulu.)

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Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves – This Kevin Costner film is probably best known for its uber-popular theme song by Bryan Adams (“Everything I Do, I Do It For You”) but for a certain generation, like mine, it was also our formative Robin Hood. It doesn’t hold up particularly well, but it’s still full of 1990s awesomeness.

The Amityville Horror – Famous for being based on an alleged true story, this 1979 film starring James Brolin and Margot Kidder is not only good and scary, it’s historically significant for starting a horror franchise that’s alive and well to this day. (Also available on Hulu.)

Two Nicolas Cages for the price of one. Photo: Sony

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Hulu

Available September 1

13 Going on 30 – This Jennifer Garner romantic comedy isn’t just delightful, it’s got a Marvel-ous supporting cast including Mark Ruffalo as the love interest, Andy Serkis as the boss, and Judy Greer as the frenemy. It’s a movie you can watch again and again.

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Adaptation – When was the last time you watched Adaptation? Even if the answer is “yesterday,” now is a great time for a revisit. Charlie Kaufman and Spike Jonze’s imaginative adaptation of Susan Orlean’s The Orchid Thief is meta, hilarious, profound, and perfect.

The Bone Collector – It’s always disappointing when a film with two of the biggest actors in the world, in this case Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie, doesn’t live up to that level of talent. The Bone Collector is like that, but it’s not terrible, and the combined charisma of late-1990s Denzel and Angelina is worth a lot.

Field of Dreams – If you stream it, we will watch.

The Fly – David Cronenberg’s creepy, gross, but oh-so-awesome film about a scientist( Jeff Goldblum) who fuses with a fly has to be seen to be believed. And if you’ve already seen it, see it again.

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Miracle on 34th Street – This 1994 remake of the 1947 Christmas classic is actually pretty great. Richard Attenborough plays Santa, John Hughes co-wrote the script, and while the story doesn’t change much, the modern setting and budget make it feel even grander than the original.

Poltergeist II: The Other Side – While this sequel is certainly inferior to its original, it brings back the first film’s cast and continues that story. For that alone, if you like the original Poltergeist (and who doesn’t?), this is worth a watch. (Also available on Amazon)

Signs – Signs came out at the height of M. Night Shyamalan hype and was a huge hit, but doesn’t really get the same love as some of his other films. I think it should. It’s got big ideas, a great ending, and some gorgeous filmmaking.

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Unbreakable – While Signs might be good, Unbreakable is great. We’ve written about it extensively, especially with the sequel finally coming out, and now you can catch up before Glass hits theaters in January. It’s one of the best and most inventive superhero movies ever.

What Dreams May Come – This sumptuous Robin Williams movie about a man going to heaven never quite lives up to its expectations, but it’s crazy ambitious and worth a stream for the visuals and lead performance alone.

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Source: https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-nerds-watch-the-best-sci-fi-and-fantasy-streaming-1828427005

Book Reviews - Something Rotten

Something Rotten - Jasper Fforde - I had to leave it a while before I read any more books in this series, because they’re very very good and I couldn’t bear to deal it the injustice of reading them too quickly and subsequently making them stale; a stroke of genius on my part, I’m sure you’ll agree - If you like absurdist humour and humour that takes the piss out of the conventions of books and publishing, this series is a godsend, and this book of course does this job very well (assisted with the introduction of characters that allow for the comparisons between the worlds of literature and reality) -> Indeed, it’s probably this book that takes the ‘meta levels’ to a new high, and whilst this may sound a bit dodgy (because dancing around the subject of the fourth wall is always infinitely better than directly smashing the fucker down), it is explained in part due to Thursday’s recent departure from the world of literature (and subsequent heightened sensitivity to the boundaries of fiction and reality), so I can’t complain too much - The action sequences are as good as always; there’s slightly less of them in this book as far as I can tell, but this just went to show me that Fforde simply writing about the day-to-day banalities of Thursday’s life were just as engaging (insofar as having conversations with Hamlet and Emma Hamilton over battenberg cake can be considered ‘banal’, which somewhat proves my point) - I love the time skip in this book, not only because I feel that it was a necessity to speed things along a bit, but because time skips are always great for giving characters some rad offscreen experience and revitalising the plot to jump straight to a point in which things are actually changing -> This ties in with another point of mine: the world is certainly balancing out a tad more in this book, going back to what I loved about Lost in a Good Book whilst still maintaining some aspects from The Well of Lost Plots that I enjoyed, and whilst I will get into the specifics of this transition in a bit, I reckon that by next book it should all have equalised and everything will be as it should - The characters are as great as usual, for a number of reasons; characters who have always been great are still great, but often have had some events in their lives change since the time skip which makes for some interesting additions to the text, and the new characters (especially Hamlet and Saint Zvlkx) are fucking amazing and subverted in some hilarious ways - The ending of this book was absolutely fucking fantastic in a way that I seriously wasn’t expecting -> Everything got resolved in classic Thursday Next fashion (in a better fashion than in The Well of Lost Plots, in that the deus ex machina on which all the audacious piss-taking problem solving hinged on was a more omnipresent and important part of the book than in Well), and I thought that would have been enough, but then the final chapter of the book… does something that seriously blew my mind and made me seriously contemplate exactly how much thought and forward planning Fforde has put into this series, as all of the pieces fell into place - There was an ‘alas, poor Yorick’ joke right at the end that was fucking three books in the making, and it annoyed me almost as much as it made me laugh my bollocks off - Long-standing problems in these books do have a tendency of being resolved incredibly quickly; on the one hand I can’t criticise this, because rapidly resolving problems that other books would have spent ages lingering on in boring self-reflective paragraphs is what this series does really fucking well, but on the other hand these are problems that have been built up at length over multiple books, and I’d hoped that the conclusions to these major issues would have been somewhat more dramatic - This book struggles, especially at the beginning, to release itself from its obligations to the world of fiction that it had so strongly tied itself too in The Well of Lost Plots, so as to better integrate itself into reality -> The few connections that it does have to the world of fiction are limited to a couple of fictional characters turning up at a few points to remind Thursday that the world of fiction is still going through some shit, but this nonsense, whilst still undeniably memorable and interesting, never really seems as important as the literal world-ending events taking place in the real world setting; indeed, the real world stuff is so overpowering that when the fictional world resurfaces later on in the book for actual plot-changing reasons, I’d totally forgotten about some of the characters involved - I don’t know if this has always been a thing in these books and I’m only just noticing it, or if it’s just especially noticeable in this book, but Fforde loves taking the story off on unrelated tangents just to get in as much of the setting’s wackiness as he can; I’m not complaining, per se, because the world is fun and thus the tangents are subsequently also fun, but thinking back to the past books, these subplots always had a point and progressed the story in someway - There are some notes of pathos in this book that seem oddly incongruous with the series’ overall tone; there’ve been surprisingly sad bits in the previous books, or moments of drama that could result in sadness, but they’re always resolved in classic deus ex machina fashion, whereas in this book they just occur and then are swiftly forgotten about - Man these books never namedrop their titles until really late into the book; the phrase ‘something rotten’ was first said on page 321, and that’s some nonsense - 8.5/10

I have a load of other book reviews on my blog, check that shit out.

The Wrestling Optimist - March 9, 2017

For those newbies, this is my first in what I anticipate becoming roughly a weekly edition of my thoughts, from a mostly optimistic viewpoint, on the wonderful world of professional wrestling. I'm working my hardest to stop being such a miserable smark, and this column is my best effort at both keeping myself honest and funneling out the various thoughts I have on wrestling. For the most part, this will be a WWE-themed piece every week, and it's still evolving, but for now I think I've found a solid format. Also, I typically intend for this to be a weekly column, but I was excited to try it out after Fast Lane (and really put my efforts at optimism to their most extreme test), so this particular column will only cover Raw, Smackdown Live, Talking Smack, 205 Live, and NXT.

Theme of the Week: We really are in the fast lane to Mania. The PPV may have left a lot of people a little displeased, but I think Raw and SDL did a nice job this week of building to the Jaws-like creature lurking in our midst, the reportedly 6.5 hour Wrestlemania now less than a month away. On Raw we got Y2J vs. KO, and the Women's Triple Threat officially booked, set up a possible Cruiserweight title match, while also getting Lesnar vs. Goldberg hyped, and Reigns vs. Taker hinted at with the subtlety of one of the Big Dog's Superman Punches. And the inevitable pre-show Tag title match will get clarity next week. That's an awful lot of productivity even for 3 hours.

Smackdown Live, not to be outdone, settled on Wyatt vs. Orton officially, made an intriguing Women's Championship free-for-all, kept the build on for the Mixed Tag, set conspiracy theory AJ Styles loose on Shane O'Mac, and hinted that we're going to get a hardcore type of Intercontinental Title match between Corbin and Ambrose.

The Mania card is now starkly visible, with the unknowns being whatever is happening with the Triple H/ Seth Rollins/ Samoa Joe/ Sami Zayn/ maybe Finn Balor storyline, whether Big Show vs. Shaq happens, how the poor SDL Tag division will be handled, which undercard guys will fill out the AMBAR, and then designating a few of these as pre-show.

For my own druthers, I mostly don't care how the card order stacks up, but I'm going to lose it if the Smackdown women end up on the Pre-Show as I fear they might. My girls Becky and Alexa deserve better than that.

10 Best Moments of the Week

Teasing the Phenomenal Forearm into the RKO Some day they are going to have Orton hit him with the RKO when going for either the forearm or the 450 and it's going to be the coolest thing since the Curb Stomp RKO, and I'm glad they clearly know how cool that is.

Heyman rushing out to address the CM Punk chants and halt whatever ill-fated improv Goldberg was about to attempt I'm not positive that Heyman was rushed out there early to cut off the Punk chants and prevent Goldberg from saying something that would only make the chants worse, but it certainly looked that way and it was another hilarious reminder of how little WWE can trust Goldberg to do pretty much anything.

The Miz motherfuckin' ETHERS John Cena I have nothing to add to his masterpiece. Go watch the SDL and Talking Smack segments.

FORK YOU! - I loved Baron Corbin pinning Dean Ambrose under a forklift. I'm always in for goofy prop fights, and there's always a place on the card for something like this at Mania. I hope this is how the match goes at Mania, a sometimes goofy, sometimes brutal street fight sort of affair. We know that Ambrose wanted the Mania match with Lesnar to go way too far last year but was rebuffed. Let him try this year with someone young and hungry like the Lone Wolf.

Austin Aries, the hero the Cruiserweight division needs Running Aries as the apparent face against Neville could be a weird fit in the long run, but I was all in for this segment on Raw. Aries is the outsized character the division needs right now to complement all the work Neville is doing and the better ring-work we've started seeing from guys like Tozawa and Swann.

The SAnitY and Dillinger story really comes together I don’t know about everyone else, but seeing Roddy get dragged out beaten half to death by the rest of the group, and seeing Tye and Jose get fired up about it, worked like hell for me. That awkward trio coming together against the heels was lacking something and this helped fill in the storyline, as did EY yelling “YOU DID THIS” at Tye. Good stuff.

As the Smackdown Women's Division Turns Becky gets turned on by a tag partner again (at this point I’m surprised Luke Sanders hasn’t turned on her), and Mickie at last turns on Alexa. Sometimes the easy story is the right one. If Naomi makes it back, she's pretty clearly going to win the title, but if not I really hope they have Becky overcome a whole Rogues gallery of heels to win (throw in Eva Marie and Carmella to really put it over the top). She's been turned on so many times that she needs the perseverance story.

For a night, the Part-Timers were booked well I'm as deeply skeptical as anyone that Raw can get me fully invested in a Lesnar/ Goldberg feud or an Undie/ Strong Roman feud, but credit where it's due, they did an excellent job on Raw this week. Goldberg eating an F5 was long overdue and I honestly wanted to see the whooping get worse.

TJP and Shinsuke dab on each other WWE spent a few headscratching months booking TJP after the Cruiserweight classic, but this was a fun match and felt like the right way to handle him, as a cocky, shitty, sorta heel who also does some seriously cool shit in the ring.

The way AJ Styles says, "Randy Orton burns down a man's house and gets rewarded for it!" I knew AJ was among the best in the ring prior to his WWE run, but his promos have been a wonderful surprise to me. He is a natural on the mic and has a goofy charisma, and for whatever reason I chuckled for a long time after he said this particular line.

Let the Smark Out

For as much as I’m trying to be an optimist, wrestling is not a perfect product. Far from it, really, and when you have problems with something, it’s healthy to let that sort of thing out. So, in the hopes of keeping a 5:1 ratio tilted toward the good side, here are my two complaints of the week:

Are we seriously doing this with Emma again? She was in such a good place as Evil Emma with the half-gloves and the shoulder pads. Given how shallow the Raw Women’s division is, why did they feel the need to screw around with something that was working????

I’ve known for weeks that the Styles/ Shane O’Mac feud was coming, but now that it’s here, it hurts even more. There is obvious proof on the roster in multiple forms that you only get so many Wrestlemania’s out of your top workers (like Balor and Rollins both being potentially on the shelf for this year after not being on last year’s card either). To use up one of those years for Styles, unquestionably the best in-ring performer in the company, and probably the world, is asinine. I know there is no bigger honor in WWE eyes than to fight against a McMahon (and I strongly suspect we’re heading toward either a Bayley or Sasha vs. Stephanie program in the next year), but I have no interest in seeing AJ selling for ol’ Baby Jabs McMahon. 

Let’s Rank Stuff!

One of the best things to do as a wrestling fan is to compare things. Who's on the Mount Rushmore of wrestling? Who was the most over with the crowd? Who's the best in-ring worker? What's the most uncomfortable Attitude Era storyline in retrospect? That's what I'm going to do here every week, pick a topic and rank it as I see it. Feel free to chime in with your own thoughts! I'd love to hear them.

This week's ranking: The Status of the Championship Belts

It's been almost 8 months since the Brand Split, which saw WWE add a whopping 4 title belts to their company (and a fifth in the UK Title even more recently) and with Wrestlemania approaching, I thought now would be a fun time to rank those titles in terms of their current level of prestige. Keep in mind the old adage about the wrestler making the belt, not the other way around. So without further ado, in reverse order:

13. UK Championship - Too young to be any higher. If Pete Dunne gets it, though, this thing could rocket up the list. That dude has incredible potential.

12 US Championship - Man what a precipitous fall. A short 18 months ago, Cena had made this thing into probably the second best belt in the company. But more recently it's been seen being dragged around by a disinterested Roman Reigns like he was worried that touching too much of it might infect him with some terrible disease. The good news is that I can see KO winning this at 'Mania and proudly defending it, not because it represents America or anything, but because KO is convinced anything he has is just the best.

11 Smackdown Tag Team Championships - Another letdown since the brand split. Slater/ Rhyno was fun, but American Alpha is surprisingly struggling right now.

10 Raw Tag Team Championships - The shenanigans required to get New Day to the tag title record didn't help anyone, and now I can't help but view The Club as utterly inconsequential. Tag team wrestling on the main roster is in a bad way right now. Thankfully, there's hope on the horizon if WWE is smart enough to realize it.

9 Cruiserweight Championship - Talk about the wrestler making the belt. Putting this thing on Neville was the step that was badly needed to salvage this belt and the entire division.

8 Smackdown Women's Championship - This division has done wonders in terms of drawing out depth and giving its characters chances, but it's in need of some excellent, or rather Bex-cellent, wrestling and something memorable. I think maybe they missed an opportunity not having Becky and Nikki fight for this at some point. Face vs. Face can be tricky, but these two could have done it, it would have given more prestige to the belt and now rumors are Nikki may be on her way out. That’s a seriously missed opportunity if so.

7 WWE Universal Championship - Yikes. I was closer to putting this thing 8th than moving it higher. It's impressively ugly, KO's title run was consistently neutered, and now Dadberg is drenching it in sweat for the next few weeks before Lesnar takes it from him at Mania and promptly disappears for a few months. If we do this ranking again in June, this belt might be 13th.

6 NXT Women's Championship - Asuka is obviously great and the coming feud with Ember should be a lot of fun, as should Nikki Cross' pursuit, but the belt hasn't kept up with some of the others under the WWE umbrella. From where it was during Sasha/ Bayley, things have slipped a bit in part because no one legitimate has come for Asuka. Yet.

5 NXT Tag Team Championships - Several of the best matches of 2016 were contested for this belt, and honestly I feel like it should be higher. I just couldn't quite bring myself to pull the trigger. That said, there's no shame in being 5th and the sole beacon of light for tag team wrestling in WWE.

4 Raw Women's Championship - I didn't love the hot potato of the belt, same as most people, and I loathe it when WWE starts talking about "making history," but this title is a very important one right now.

3 Intercontinental Championship - This likely would have been number 2 if I'd done this ranking in the fall thanks almost entirely to the Miz. Ambrose has been fine as champ since then thanks to his pedigree as a former WWE Champ, and if they are setting up Baron Corbin to win the title at Mania, that could be a great step toward both making a star and helping keep the belt relevant.

2 NXT Championship - One of the most impressive lineages of any championship belt in wrestling history right now. At times, it probably has surpassed even the WWE Championship itself. I'm curious to see how they handle Bobby Roode's reign after having one indy giant after another hold it for years on end. Obviously Roode is no slouch, but this does feel like an interesting point for the title.

1 WWE Championship - I'm glad they're back to just calling it the WWE Championship. That just sounds so much better than adding any sort of "world" modifier to it. It's the franchise, the belt with all the history behind it, and that WWE itself even clearly tries to pay respect to, and this past year or so has only added to the legacy. Getting AJ Styles' name on the belt was great for everyone, Cena tied the record with it, and now Bray Wyatt, a character that WWE has always viewed as a long-term face of the company, is battling another all-time legend in Randy Orton at Wrestlemania for it. That's great stuff.

Match of the Week

This was supposed to be a column that covered everything after Fast Lane, but I have to give it up one more time for Neville vs. Jack Gallagher. That’s unquestionably the match of the week.

Where Do We Go From Here?

I sketched out a rough idea of the Mania card earlier in the column, but for the next few weeks I’m excited for the build. That’s where these matches are set up for memorable moments and big crowd pops or destined for failure. I covered the Triple H saga in this segment in the Fast Lane column, but I was surprised to see it not get a ton of attention on Raw this week. It’s starting to feel like WWE doesn’t even quite know what to do with it at this point.

If we get through this week’s Raw without some kind of stakes for Mania set for those two and the various other players in their drama, I’m going to start doubting whether the match is actually happening, and if maybe we’ll only get some kind of confrontation only at the show.

The Finisher

Big Show vs. Shaq would be kinda cool if it happens, but if it doesn’t, I hope they do Strowman vs. Show II. Strowman is ready for something more than winning the AMBAR, and Show deserves a reward for getting into such ridiculous shape. Plus, those two had low-key the most surprisingly fun match of 2017 so far, and you could do a lot worse than a ten minute hoss fight at Mania. Make it happen, WWE.