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mariacallous · 3 months

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Six months into the Russian occupation of the Ukrainian city of Kherson, in September 2022, the director of Liza Batsura’s college arrived at the dormitory where Batsura lived and told the students to pack up their things: They were going to Crimea. If the students refused, they would be put in the basement, Batsura said, speaking through a translator. The director gave no further explanation.

The next evening, they were taken to a camp called “Friendship” in Crimea, which was occupied by Russia in 2014. Although she couldn’t have known it at the time, Batsura—now 16 years old—was one of almost 20,000 children the Ukrainian government estimates have been deported or forcibly displaced to Russia. Only 388 have been returned.

Initially, the prospect of a couple of weeks by the sea didn’t sound so bad. But Batsura quickly began to realize that that wouldn’t be the case. The food was terrible, the days were long, and the children were pressured to sing Russian songs, including the national anthem, which made her very uncomfortable.

Foreign Policy is unable to independently verify Batsura’s account, but her experience closely tracks with the findings of investigations by the United Nations as well as researchers at Yale School of Public Health and other human rights groups who have documented a “systematic” effort to relocate and reeducate thousands of Ukrainian children over the course of the war. She also recounted her story to Reuters as part of an extensive investigation into the deportations.

Batsura was one of five Ukrainian teenagers who visited Washington last month with representatives of Save Ukraine, a Ukraine-based nonprofit that helps to rescue Ukrainian children from Russia and the territories it occupies. They stoically recounted the stories of their abductions again and again for journalists, members of Congress, and attendees at public events.

It was the group’s first visit to Washington. Batsura felt like she was in a movie, she said.

With long limbs and round cheeks, the teenagers filed into the conference room of a Washington-based nonprofit with their minders from Save Ukraine for an interview with Foreign Policy. Once the Wi-Fi password had been secured and the bathroom located, they began to tell their stories.

They were teenagers like any other you’d see hanging out with friends at a cafe or shopping mall. Yet they were also victims of Moscow’s large-scale deportation of Ukrainian children—a potential war crime and the reason that the International Criminal Court (ICC) issued arrest warrants for Russian President Vladimir Putin and the country’s children’s rights commissioner, Maria Lvova-Belova, in March 2023.

Like Batsura, they all hail from regions of eastern Ukraine that were quickly occupied by Russian forces in the early days of the war. They recount being coerced or forced, sometimes at gunpoint, to go with Russian forces, and they were taken to schools and summer camps where they were held for several months and faced pressure to accept Russian citizenship.

In many instances, Ukraine’s most vulnerable children have borne the brunt of Russian deportation. Before the war, Ukraine had one of the highest rates of child institutionalization in Europe, with more than 100,000 children living in residential institutions. The vast majority have living parents but were placed in institutions because of poverty, difficult family circumstances, or because the child had a disability, according to Human Rights Watch.

The deportations have been carried out in plain sight. Early in the war, Putin signed a decree making it easier for Ukrainian children to be adopted and to be given Russian citizenship. Lvova-Belova herself claims to have adopted a teenager from the besieged Ukrainian city of Mariupol, and she has spoken publicly about her efforts to Russify him. In November, a BBC investigation found that a 2-year old girl who went missing from a children’s home in Kherson when she was just 10 months old had been adopted by 70-year-old member of the Russian parliament, Sergey Mironov.

Lvova-Belova has made a number of visits to institutions holding Ukrainian children, including to a college in the occupied Ukrainian city of Henichesk, where Batsura had been transferred from Crimea and placed in a culinary arts program.

The dormitory where Batsura was placed was freezing cold at night, she said, and the teenagers were forbidden to close the doors to their rooms. Russian troops patrolled the halls.

Lvova-Belova offered the children 100,000 rubles, roughly $1,000, and the opportunity to study at a college in Russia on the condition that they remain there. Batsura refused. Officials tried to find her a foster family, and she feared she would be sent to a remote region of Russia and would never be able to return to Ukraine.

For eight months while she was in Russian custody, Batsura had been unable to contact her mother, but she learned through a friend that her mother was working with Save Ukraine and applying for a passport so that she could travel to Russia and collect her.

With the border to Russia closed since the invasion, families face a daunting overland journey through wartime Ukraine, traveling into Poland, Belarus, and then Russia and—in Batsura’s case—down into occupied Ukrainian territory.

In some instances, children are turned over to their relatives without too much difficulty once the family members arrive to collect them, but the Russian authorities have also been known to present obstacles, said Olha Yerokhina, a spokesperson for Save Ukraine. The organization has helped families retrieve 240 children to date.

Officials at the school told Batsura that the journey was too arduous and that her friend was giving her false hope that her mother would ever arrive. “I didn’t believe them, and I kept telling myself that ‘No, my mom can do it, my mom will come,’” she said.

In May 2023, Batsura was rescued by her mother and now lives with her in Kyiv, where she is working with psychologists to process her experience. She is back in school and describes her hobbies as writing poems and making TikTok videos.

I asked her, given the atrocities that Putin has been accused of committing in Ukraine and during his presidency, how she felt about the fact that it was experiences like hers that had led the ICC to issue an arrest warrant for the Russian leader.

Yerokhina, who acted as our translator, interrupted to say that because she was rescued after the court order was issued, Batsura had likely missed the news about the ICC arrest warrant.

After Yerokhina explained the court’s decision, Batsura said, “It’s just.”

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otmaaromanovas · 6 months

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Anastasia's personality

Lesser known quotes about Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanov and her personality, from those who knew her and from Anastasia herself!

Happy reading :)

"Once they had seen this demonstration [of security dogs sniffing out objects], the Grand Duchesses often amused themselves by hiding objects on the island, and asking us to have them retrieved by the dogs. That was, above all, the favourite game of the youngest of the Grand Duchesses, Anastasia Nicholaievna. So the guide asked permission to take the Grand Duchess by the hand and let the dogs sniff it, who then disappeared into the island and brought back the hidden object. Of course, the Grand Duchess was hugely delighted." - Alexander Spiridovitch, Last Years at Tsarskoe Selo, Volume 1

Anastasia to tutor Pyotr Vasilievich Petrov: "Wikied P.V.P. I am very, very upsit with you. Why didn’t you write a litter to Maria and me? I’m telling you, you are very, very bad, extremely bad even. Maria and I have written you so meny letters and you haven’t replied. I am going to make mystakes on purpose. I alredy see where I made mystakes. Anastasia. 1909. 9 November." - Helen Azar, George Hawkins, Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings

"Sometimes, the Grand Duchesses would enter the thatched houses and strike up conversations with the peasant women. The male population worked far away, at fishing, Anastasia Nicholaievna made friends with an old peasant woman, whom she came to see in her thatched cottage several times, and with whom she had long conversations. The peasant was knitting a stocking, and showed the Grand Duchess how it was done. On her birthday, Anastasia Nicholaievna visited the old lady, and asked her how old she thought she was. When the old lady could not guess, the Grand Duchess announced proudly that she was eight years old!" - Alexander Spiridovitch, Last Years at Tsarskoe Selo, Volume 1

"We used to make long outings around the islands. One day, Anastasia Nicholaievna begged the Emperor to take her on one of these outings. The Emperor consented. It was a very long outing. We covered some fifteen to seventeen versts. Everybody, except the Emperor, was very tired, with Anastasia Nicholaievna at the point of tears. The people who accompanied the Emperor took turns carrying her pick-a-back [piggy back]. That outing was remembered for a long time." - Alexander Spiridovitch, Last Years at Tsarskoe Selo, Volume 1

"Anastasia Nicholaevna was a lively witty child, who developed rapidly in the midst of her sisters. Very mischievous, always gay she still amused herself with toys such as the little, stoppered bottles and pots which a doctor who visited the Imperial Family used to bring her. She and her brother got no end of fun from these things." - Alexander Spiridovitch, Last Years at Tsarskoe Selo, Volume 1

"Little Anastasie was delighted with the stir and bustle of city life and deeply interested in all she saw. The children developed a love for those little toy balloons which are sold in the streets. When they were very good I used to send out and get them one each. But Anastasie used sometimes to want me to stop the carriage and buy them from the men, and this, of course, could not be allowed. So I always said simply that I could not, without advancing any reason. She evidently thought force would have to be used to induce him to part with them, for one day she saw some little children walking on the Palace Quay, each one with a balloon. She drew my attention to them. "Look, look!" cried she; "little children with balloons; get out, take them from them and give them to me." I explained why that would not do, so she said, " Well, get out, and ask them nicely and politely, and perhaps they will give them to me."" - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"Someone in speaking to me of the four little girls lately said to me, "...little Anastasie has personal charm beyond any child I ever saw."" - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"I had got from England a preparation for the children's hair, and was rubbing it into little Anastasie's head one evening. She objected, and I said, " It will make your hair grow nicely, darling," so she submitted. Next evening I went to get the kappuka [solution] from the cupboard, and mademoiselle ran off into the next room. She returned dragging by its leg an awful dolly, a regular fetish, minus a wig, one eye, and an arm. She gravely took a little piece of sponge and began to rub the kappuka into the creature's head. I remonstrated, telling her I had to send to England for the stuff and did not want it wasted. She looked at me most reproachfully, and said, "My poor Vera! she has got no curls; this will make her hair grow." Of course, she got her way." - Margaretta Eagar, Six Years at the Russian Court

"Anastasia Nikolaevna was especially attracted to stores, where they sold doll shoes of various sizes…" - Sophia Ivanovna Tyutcheva, A Few Years Before the Catastrophe

Letter from Alexei to their father, Nicholas: "[22 Sept 1914] …Anastasia was throttling [tutor] M. Gilliard." This has also been translated as "…Anastasia was trying to strangle M. Gilliard" - George Hawkins, Alexei: Russia's Last Tsesarevich - Letters, diaries and writings

Letter from Alexandra to Nicholas: "Jan 6 1916 …Anastasia has bronchitis, head is heavy & hurts her swallowing, coughed in the night,, she writes about [Dr.] Ostrog.[orsky]. “Although he said that I look a little better than yesterday, but I am pale & my appearance is foolish in my view” just like the “Shvibzik” [her nickname] to say such things…" – Joseph T. Fuhrmann, Nicholas II and Alexandra Feodorovna. The complete Wartime Correspondence April 1914 – March 1917

Letter from Alexandra to either her brother or sister-in-law: "7 May 1913… Anastasia is growing gradually and is as funny as always." - Petra H. Kleinpenning, The Correspondence Of The Empress Alexandra Of Russia With Ernst Ludwig And Eleonore, Grand Duke And Duchess Of Hesse

The following are from Helen Azar, George Hawkins, Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings:

Tutor Pyotr Vasilievich Petrov to Anastasia: "12 October 1909. Hello dear, good, diligent, obedient (albeit not always), kind and affectionate (also not always?) Anastasia Nikolaevna!" - Helen Azar, George Hawkins, Anastasia Romanov: The Tsar's Youngest Daughter Speaks Through Her Writings

Anatoly Mordvinov to the Grand Duchesses: "September 19, 1915 My beloved torturers! I can’t express how pleased I was with your joint, dear, sweet letter… What terrible news, reported by my chief tormentor Anastasia Nikolaevna…"

Anastasia to Nicholas: "October 3rd [1915] …There was a psalm-reader who read so incredibly funny that it was simply impossible not to laugh"

Note from Anastasia to Alexei "…Now you, little piggy, know all the rooms…"

Letter from Anastasia to Alexei: "1 November 1915. ...My Dear and Darling Little Alexei! I haven’t forgotten my responsibility [to walk dog Joy], and every day either I or Madeleine or Tutles goes for a walk and it goes very well."

Last diary of Alexandra: "12/15 April. Marie comes with us [to Ekaterinburg], Olga will look after Baby, Tatiana the household & Anastasia will cheer all up." - Last diary of Alexandra Feodorovna

"Anastasia was not allowed to go to dinner, had to go to bed early, which was why she had dinner alone with the nanny in her giant lonely “upstairs”… So sad, these poor children live in a golden cage." - the memoirs of V. I. Chebotareva

Diary entry of the palace priest: "April 11, 1917 - …The former Heir was taken past my window in a wheelchair. Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna saw me in the window and loudly said to her mother, “Over there, the batiushka [father] is looking at us”" - Belyaev, Potapov, The Romanovs Under House Arrest: From the 1917 Diary of a Palace Priest

Letter from Maria to Nicholas: "April 1915 …The little Shvybzik [Anastasia's dog] just made a “governor” [accident] on Mama’s carpet, and Anastasia is not training him…" - Helen Azar, George Hawkins, Maria Romanov: Third Daughter of the Last Tsar, Diaries and Letters, 1908–1918

"...the most energetic and speedy - Anastasia Nikolaevna - had a rather silent, sedate and serious Navigator A.V. Saltanov [to look after her]. The latter ended up with most trouble and turmoil. Dear 'Nastasya', as the Gosudar [tsar] called her, was a trouble making tomboy. With her hair always messed up, always dishevelled, from morning till night she ran around the yacht, climbed up ladders, peeked where she should not have, until, with a lot of screaming she was finally led away and put to bed. Her parents said she was the "clown"." - Memoirs of Nikolai Vasilievich Sablin

"It was after Anastasia had arrived as a pupil that Gibbes met his first real problem. Still slightly built (she would soon grow rapidly), eager in her movements, her eyes sparkling with intelligence, she was self-possessed and in entire command of her features; he had met nothing like it any other child. Remembering a course in child psychology he had taken during one of his exploring periods at Cambridge, he tried as many innovations from it as he could; they did not shelter him from storms, usually sudden. Once, after a disturbed lesson, he refused to give her five marks, the maximum (and customary) number. For a moment the wondered what might happen; then, purposefully, Anastasia left the room. Within minutes she returned, carrying one of the elaborate bouquets that seemed always to be in waiting. 'Mr Gibbes,' she said winningly, 'are you going to change the marks?' He hesitated before he shook his head. Describing it long afterwards in a letter (1928) to the Grand Duke Alexander Mikhailovich, the Tsar's brother-in-law in Paris, Gibbes wrote: Drawing herself up to the most of her small height, she marched into the schoolroom next door. Leaving the door wide open, she approached the dear old Russian professor, Peter Vassilievich Petrov. 'Peter Vassilievich', she said, 'allow me to present you with these flowers'. By all the rules he should have refused them, but professors are human; he did not. Later, we made it up again, and I received my bouquets once more, for the Grand Duchess nearly always gave me one during those early years. I-well, I was more careful in my marking. We had both learned a lesson. Another morning would not be forgotten. There had been a children's fancy-dress dance at Tsarskoe Selo on the previous night. Gibbes, in tail-coat and white tie, waited at his desk for Anastasia to arrive. When she did, quickly and mischievously, her face was blackened like a chimney-sweep's and she carried a small golden ladder which she placed beside her while she waited for the lesson to begin. Gibbes, deciding to take no notice, was about to speak when he heard a rush of laughter outside the big double doors at the end of the room. They flew open, and through them there appeared the three elder Grand Duchesses with their mother. The Empress looked in horror. 'Anastasia!' she cried, 'go and change at once!' And, meekly, the sweep vanished. When she came back, her face scrubbed as red as a lobster, the gold ladder was still beside her desk; but everybody pretended not to see it and the lesson continued in the Empress's presence." - Trewin and Gibbes, Tutor to the Tsarevich

"Through the years he preserved from Tobolsk two cheap exercise books, each labelled ‘English’. ‘M. Romanof’ had written her name on one label. The other book belonged to A. Romanova (Shut Up!) Tobolsk 1917-1918.’ Grand Duchess Anastasia, more exuberantly talkative than her sisters, seized on one of Gibbes’s exasperated moments. When he told her to shut up, she asked him how to spell it and adopted it as her nickname." - Trewin and Gibbes, Tutor to the Tsarevich

"‘At the end of the farce [Gibbes reported] the husband has to turn his back, open his dressing-gown as if to take it off- Anastasia wore an old one of mine - and then exclaim: 'But I've packed my trousers; I can't go.' The night's applause had excited the little Grand Duchess. The piece had gone with a swing and they were getting through the 'business' so fast that a draught got under the gown and whisked its tail up to the middle of her back, showing her sturdy legs and bottom encased in the Emperor's Jaeger underwear. We all gasped; Emperor and Empress, suite and servants, collapsed in uncontrolled laughter. Poor Anastasia could not make it out. All were calling for a second performance, but this time she was more careful. Certainly I shall always remember the night; it was the last heart unrestrained laughter the Empress ever enjoyed.’" - Trewin and Gibbes, Tutor to the Tsarevich

"...Anastasia was the most amusing; she was always full of mischief. - “Anastasia is our family clown!” the Emperor once exclaimed, laughing, to my mother." - Olga Voronova, Upheaval

"Fleeting memories come back to me of those cloudless summer days. Pictures of the Emperor and his daughters at the Garden Party at Tsarskoe, the little Grand Duchess Anastasia, her cheeks scarlet with excitement, surrounded by a group of midshipmen, plying them with eager questions. “You will take me up into your conning tower,” her clear childish voice rang out above the hum of conversation. “Couldn’t you let off one of the guns and just pretend it was a mistake?”" - Muriel Buchanan, Ambassador's Daughter

"The youngest girl, Anastasia, was spirited, sly and playful; she would get under the dinner table and pinch the legs of some elderly statesman until her father pulled her out by her hair. She has been described as ‘a little inextinguishable volcano, with a world of her own’." - Bernard Pares, The Fall Of The Russian Monarchy A Study Of The Evidence

"The Tsar's youngest daughter was much the sprightliest and most entertaining. She had a comic gift as a mimic, picking out people's foibles in a way that made everyone laugh. "What a bundle of mischief," recalls her godmother, Grand Duchess Olga Alexandrovna, the Tsar's sister. There was also a serious side to Anastasia's nature. She had a restless, questioning intelligence. "Whenever I talked with her," says Count Grabbe, "I always came away impressed by the breadth of her interests. That her mind was keenly alive was immediately apparent." More than her sisters, Anastasia chafed under the narrowness of her environment and used her comic sense in revolt against it." - Count Alexander Grabbe, The private world of the last Tsar, in the photographs and notes of General Count Alexander Grabbe

"The Grand Duchess Anastasia Nicholaevna was sixteen or seventeen years old; she was short, stout and was, in my opinion, the only one in the family that appeared to be ungraceful Her hair was of a lighter color than that of Maria Nicholaevna. It was not wavy and soft, but lay flat on the forehead. Her eyes were grey and beautiful, her nose straight. If she had grown and got slim she would have been the prettiest in the family. She was refined and very witty. She had the talents of a comic actor, she made everybody laugh, but never laughed herself. It appeared as if her development had stopped and, therefore, her capacity faded a little. She played the piano and painted, but was only in the stage of studying both." - The Examination of Sidney Gibbes, The Last Days of the Romanovs

"The Grand Duchess Anastasia, I believe, was seventeen. She was over-developed for her age; she was stout and short, too stout for her height; her characteristic feature was to see the weak points of other people and to make fun of them. She was a comedian by nature and always made everybody laugh. She preferred her father to her mother and loved Maria Nicholevna more than the other sisters." - The Examination of Commissar E. S. Kobylinsky, The Last Days of the Romanovs

Hope you enjoyed reading and learnt something new!

Want to find a book listed here? Reply, ask, or message me! I'd be happy to help!

#Anastasia Romanov #Anastasia Nikolaevna #Anastasia #sources #Romanov #Romanov sisters #Romanov family #Grand Duchess Anastasia #women's history #Anastasia 1997 #russian history #history

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chadillacboseman · 2 years

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Some Kind of Torture

Pairing: Court Gentry (Sierra Six) x Agent F!Reader Warnings: Oh boy! Torture, blood, injury, weapons, death, sex (it's protected, though!) Word Count: Like 2k? A/N: This movie is living rent-free in my mind right now. Court needs all the love. Lloyd stans begone.

Six is no stranger to pain.

In fact, he does some of his best work when he's in pain. He thrives in it.

There's a dull ache in his face from the butt of the gun that had struck him earlier, and parts of his shirt are wet with blood that has bloomed from the wounds on his torso.

He focuses on the throbbing, the stinging, the burning. Every ache keeps him grounded.

The man in front of him mutters something in Russian to a soldier in fatigues on the other side of the room. Six catches some of it- "battery", "cables".

He knows what's coming.

It's not like the spy thrillers he used to watch as a kid- there's no car battery wired up to jumper cables or live wires pulled from the power box here.

The charger is on wheels, hooked up to two paddles not unlike those of a defibrillator.

Six focuses intently on a crack in the wall.

"Last chance to talk," the man speaks with a thick accent as he switches on the machine and it hums to life, electronic gauges reflecting a voltage Six knows too well.

"I'll pass, thanks," he delivers the retort without a second thought, eyes still focused on the wall. He remembers to keep his tongue behind his teeth.

The first shock is short. At most, 3 seconds.

Every muscle in his body contracts, straining at the ropes that bind him until the paddles leave his exposed chest.

"Not the answer you wanted, Drago?" Six smirks as the man screws up his face in anger.

The second shock is longer.

"You want the pain to stop? Talk."

"Nah, I'm starting to like it."

The man adjusts the dial to a higher voltage. Six ponders the origin of the crack in the wall.

Outside the door, there's a sudden commotion- the sound of bodies hitting the wall and muted gunshots. A man's voice yells something in Russian and a shot pings off the metal door.

"That doesn't sound good," Six cocks his head as the hallway outside goes quiet and the man exchanges a furtive glance with the soldier in the room, "Not even gonna check on your pals?"

In an instant, the metal door is off its hinges, erupting in a cloud of debris. The soldier takes a bullet between the eyes before he can even react.

The torturer isn't far behind. His body hits the floor with a muted thump and the paddles clatter to the floor beside him.

Six's ears are ringing as you step out of the cloud of debris and into focus.

"Took you long enough. The rope almost disintegrated on its own," he jerks his head backward and you roll your eyes.

"A simple 'thank you' would suffice."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot my manners when I had 200 volts on my chest," Six retorts.

You move behind him and slash the ropes on his wrists and ankles. The unblinking eyes of the torturer seem to follow your every move. A thin line of blood oozes between them and curves along the bridge of his nose, pooling on the floor at Six's feet.

"We have no ride home for the time being," you sheathe your knife as Six rises slowly to his feet, "But there's a safe house in Saint Petersburg."

The safe house is dull- windowless and devoid of furniture, save for a bed and a kitchen table.

There's a shower, though, and that's all Six cares about right now.

His shirt clings to him as he unbuttons it and peels it from his body, caked with blood and sweat from two days of imprisonment.

You watch him from the doorway, eyes transfixed on his form as he undresses. He has more scars than you can count- a roadmap of his years of service to the agency.

"See something you like?" Six cocks and eyebrow and you laugh in return. He loves that sound.

Hell, he loves you.

Six didn't think it was possible to feel the way he does about you.

He feels like a lovesick schoolboy, able to drop his hardened exterior, if even just for a moment.

The shower is refreshing, melting away the blood that is dried to his skin. Six watches it circle the drain until the water runs clean. He slings a towel around his waist and makes his way to the bedroom.

You're sitting on the bed, engrossed in a novel you've been trying to finish for months. You've re-read the same sentence six times.

"Still working on that book, huh?" Six smirks and you sigh in defeat.

You let your eyes wander across his broad chest, down his stomach and to the frayed edge of the towel that dips just below his navel. You feel as if you're about to vibrate out of your body with spare energy- a way you always felt after a successful mission.

"You need to blow off some steam, baby?" Six croons, his mouth twitching into a sly smile. He loves the way you look up at him, doe-eyed and like putty in his hand.

Before you can even nod your head, his mouth is crashing into yours, teeth nipping at your lip. He slips the towel from his waist and lets out a lustful groan when your hand brushes against his cock. He slips his tongue into your mouth and swallows your moan when his hand palms your breast through your shirt.

"Lose the clothes," he mutters against your mouth, and you comply without hesitation, pulling away for a moment to shed your shirt and jeans.

"Damn," Six lets the word fall from his mouth before he can stop it, his eyes raking over your body hungrily as you lie back on the bed.

"See something you like?" you echo his earlier remark and he grins in return.

Six rummages in the wallet on the nightstand until he finds a condom, slipping it on before climbing on top of you. He hikes your legs up around his waist and buries himself inside you with a breathless moan.

"Court-" you stutter out his name and he feels his head go light at the sound of it.

No one calls him Court anymore. Only you.

Six wishes he could stay like this forever- lost in you and punchdrunk on the feeling.

Each of his thrusts is overwhelming, the angle lets him hit you so deeply that you can hardly think straight.

"Fuck-" Six drops his forehead to yours as he fucks you, "You feel so good, baby."

It's strange to hear his little terms of endearment fall from his lips- so out of character for the calm and collected agent you see in the field.

He pulls back from you and snakes a hand between your legs, brushing his rough thumb over your clit and sending a shockwave through you.

"Court, please," you whimper and he feels his chest swell with pride at the way he's making you feel.

"You close?" he murmurs and you nod frantically. He wants to send you over the edge. He needs it.

Six works your clit, thumb expertly circling the tender nerves as he fucks you. He drops his mouth to your chest and takes one of your nipples in his mouth, grinning against your breast when you arch up into him.

"You gonna cum for me?"

His words send you toppling over the edge, clawing at his chest as you crest your high and cry out his name.

He wishes he could listen to that sound on repeat.

Six knows he's close now- he can feel the tension in his gut as he rocks against you with with building desperation. You whine beneath him, his name tumbling from your lips as he pushes you far past your orgasm and into the unbearable.

One final stuttering thrust and he's done, panting and sweating in the quiet of the safe house bedroom. He kisses your forehead before pulling out slowly, chuckling when you whine at the sudden absence of him.

"Feel better?" Six glances over his shoulder as he heads to the bathroom to clean up.

"Mhmm," is all you can muster in response.

When he returns, he climbs into bed next to you and you melt into his embrace, resting your head on his shoulder as he wraps a broad arm around your frame.

Six wishes he could have you like this every night- to give you the domesticity he knows you deserve.

But he can't right now. You both know that.

For now, nights like this will have to do.

#sierra six x reader #court gentry x reader #ns/fw #my writing #the gray man

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filmnoirsbian · 1 year

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Things Read in March

Essays & Articles:

Reader Discretion Advised: On profanity and the sublime in poetry

Bizarre Movie Monsters: Skinamarink

Penelope and the Poetics of Remembering

Two Bad Mormons

Was Caroline Ellison a Main Character or the Fall Girl? How the 28-year-old CEO LARP-ed her way into the collapse of FTX

The 'real Lord of the Flies': a survivor's story of shipwreck and salvation

The real Lord of the Flies: what happened when six boys were shipwrecked for 15 months

The Legacy of Hoodoo Within the Black Church

'Hellraiser' writer Clive Barker on the publishing industry's homophobia and J.K. Rowling

'Ma' Reconsidered

Exposed: Dallas Humber, Narrator Of Neo-Nazi ‘Terrorgram,’ Promoter Of Mass Shootings

Black Horror Films Found Off the Beaten Path

'The Help' Spawns A Lawsuit And A Question: How Much Borrowing Is Fair?

Pentagon Blocks Sharing Evidence of Possible Russian War Crimes With Hague Court

How Wasps Are Less Bothersome—And More Beautiful—Than We Think

Researchers Pinpoint Important Biomarker for SIDS

15 Years After Invasion of Iraq, Amnesia & Distortion Obscure U.S. Record of War Crimes & Torture

The rabid sexualisation of male actors is getting creepy

Calvinism and the American Conception of Evil

The Schedule of Loss

Poetry:

Fuck Stuck by Naomi Morris

The Artist by Jenny George

Jenner, CA by Jay Deshpande

[11. Violence: Anglo-Linguistic] by Nam Le

Blue by Laura Villareal

T Shot #9: Ode to My Sharps Container by KB Brookins

The Bag of Skunk and the Ghetto Bank by Yahya Hassan translated by Jordan Barger

Fable of the Barn by Ann Lauterbach

"Envoi" of William H. Johnson's "Nude" by Terrance Hayes

Ancestors' wildest dreams by Kinsale Drake

Short Stories & Books:

In The Deep Woods; The Light is Different There by Seanan McGuire

Bones & All by Camille DeAngelis

Stardust by Neil Gaiman

DCeased

Know My Name by Chanel Miller

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

#tcp #an open window #essays #articles #poetry

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withacapitalp · 1 year

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Scars

TW for Child Abuse of all kinds

Steve waits until they’ve been dating for six months before he works up the courage to talk about the scars.

He isn’t exactly sure why he waited until the six month mark. Maybe six months felt like long enough that it was appropriate to ask. Maybe six months meant that Eddie wasn’t just going to up and leave. Maybe six months of waiting was all Steve could stand.

There’s only five of them. Five perfect circles on Eddie’s top left shoulder blade, dark against his boyfriend’s pale pale skin. They’re almost evenly spaced apart, like someone took the time to think about the placement. Like where they were mattered.

They’re in bed when Steve asks. Eddie is lying on his back, and Steve is lazily trailing his fingers up and down his spine, watching with fascination as Eddie’s entire body becomes mush under his fingertips. He lets his hand drift up to the place where they are, gently putting his hand flat over the scars.

His palm covers them all up, and if he left it there forever, it would be like they never existed.

Maybe that would be better.

Steve doesn’t want to ask. He doesn’t feel like he has the right to, but he asks anyway. He asks despite knowing what they are, and despite already knowing who put them there. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure that out.

“Who?”

Eddie doesn’t answer, not at first. He doesn’t tense up like Steve expected him to, or even pull away.

He just lies there, his eyes a million miles away.

“You know who,”

Steve knows. He can see it in the way Eddie watches Hopper like a hawk when he’s drinking, in the careful quiet kinship that’s shared between his boyfriend and Jonathan. Steve knows, because he notices everything about Eddie. There isn’t anything that’s hidden anymore, and he thinks sometimes that maybe that’s not such a good thing.

Maybe Steve knows too much.

Eddie tells him anyway.

“I’m honestly kind of happy I have them. Having those meant I never had to go back. It was enough for Wayne to get to keep me. They were good, because there was finally something I could show people. Something that made it all real, you know?”

Steve knows. He can see it in the way Wayne watches over Eddie, always clocking everyone around his boy to make sure they aren’t a threat. Steve knows, because Wayne told him. He said that if Steve ever hurt his son (not his nephew, his son) then there would be nowhere safe on Earth for him to run to.

Wayne didn’t need to worry that much. Steve would let Vecna break his body in half before he ever did anything to hurt Eddie.

“What about you?”

Because Steve has scars too, and Eddie knows about them.

Steve has a crooked one up his left leg from the time he fell off his bike when he was first learning to ride it. There’s a starburst on his wrist from the place where it broke when he fell wrong on the court too.

There's a soft faint scar that runs over his right temple from his first fight with Billy, a pinprick one behind his left ear from the Russians. There are scars all up and down his back, a red ring around his neck, and two long nasty gashes living on his sides. Steve is scarred from head to toe.

But none of them are from his dad. Not like Eddie.

Steve couldn’t even imagine his father putting a hand on him. Even at his maddest, John Harrington never ran hot. His fury was cold, calculated. Sharp pointed words that stabbed through his son’s chest, or frosty silences that made Steve wish he was dead.

His father had never needed his fists to make a point.

He wonders what it would be like to have just one. If that crooked scar up his leg was because his dad pushed him to the ground, or if his wrist had been broken at home instead of in the gym.

He hates himself for wanting to be hit. For needing a single physical reminder, something to show for all the years of pain. For desiring something, anything, to represent the way his parents tore him to shreds and left the pieces in the dust.

Steve has scars from everything else. What would one more be?

And he could tell Eddie all of this. Eddie would understand. He always had, and he always will. It was the thing that Steve loved most about his boyfriend.

Steve could tell him, but they both knew he wouldn’t. Just like Steve knows Eddie, Eddie knows Steve. He knows the reason that Steve is always trying to make himself useful, and the motivation behind always throwing himself in front of the others to take the blows. Eddie knows that none of his scars are from his parents.

At least, not any of the ones a person could see.

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foreverinthepagesofhistoryy · 2 months

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fav fact about Elisabeth of Hesse?

Hi anon! My favorite “facts” about Ella are the mentions of her and her cousins in Margaretta Edgar’s book “Six Years At The Russian Court”. These might not be specific facts but they definitely are something about Ella’s personality that I love. Because of her short life, there wasn’t much time to observe Ella so any memoir that mentions her amazing personality is so special.

“My children were delighted to see their cousin Ella once more. This dear child was then between eight and nine years old, and very like her beautiful mother in appearance. But the child's eyes had ever a look of fate in them. Looking at her I used to wonder what those wide grey-blue eyes saw, to bring such a look of sadness to the childish face.”

“In spite of this look of intense sadness in her eyes the little Princess herself was full of life and happiness. I never saw so sunny a nature; never saw the child out of temper, nor cross, and should any little dispute arise amongst my four charges, she would settle it with perfect amiability and justice, making whoever was the most in the wrong give in, and reproving with great gentleness the others. Where Princess Ella was, no angry disputes could exist. She was so sweet and just that the other children always gave in to her arbitration. Looking back on her short life often wonder why we did not see that she was quite too good for this world, her fit companions were the angels. She was a regular little mother, and was never so happy as with the ‘tiny cousin’, as she called Anastasie.”

“She always enjoyed life so much, and she ran and bicycled about the gloomy old park, took the lead in all the games and was like a sunbeam; yet all the time she was stricken with mortal illness, though none suspected it.”

“One day she and Tatiana were wonderfully busy and mysterious, running in and out of the rooms, and exploding into laughter every now and then. In the evening after they were in bed Tatiana took from under her pillow a little box which dear cousin Ella had prepared for her. This contained some little coloured stones which they had picked out of the gravel the day before, some bits of matches, luminous ends, of course, the sand-paper off a matchbox and some tissue paper. This was a toy which they had prepared. After Tatiana was in bed, if she felt lonely she was to sit up in bed, light a match upon the sand-paper, set fire to the tissue paper, and by its light to play with the stones. Well, of course, that could not be allowed, and the poor little Princess was overwhelmed when I explained to her that they might all have been burned in their beds.”

“The little Princess was full of life and fun. never remember to have seen her in higher spirits than she was on Saturday evening. She prepared and carried out an innocent little practical joke on her father and the Empress. She asked me to put her three eldest cousins in her bed, and leave little Anastasie alone in her bedroom. "When auntie Alix and papa come, said the child, "auntie Alix will be looking everywhere for her children, and papa will not know how he has got four." Accordingly it was done, and I stepped into the corridor to ask the Empress and the Grand Duke to be very much surprised. They were, of course, exceedingly surprised, and the Empress pretended to be much frightened, to the child's great delight. You could hear her laughter all through the house, as one by one the cousins were disclosed.”

She was a beautiful and unique soul who will be missed forever! Happy belated birthday dear Ella! 💜

Thank you for asking!

#answered ask #princess elisabeth of hesse #Margaretta Eagar #six years at the russian court #memoirs #diaries and letters #Ella of hesse #Elisabeth of hesse #otma #favs

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foreverinthepagesofhistory · 8 months

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Princess Elisabeth of Hesse riding horses with her cousins Grand Duchesses Olga and Tatiana Nikolaevna of Russia, Wolfsgarten 1903

It was a pretty sight to see her riding with the two eldest cousins in the riding school; she mounted on a great white horse and her cousins on little ponies. She rode wonderfully well, and would take either of the little ones before her on the saddle, and give them a ride round the school.

— Margaretta Eagar, Six Years At The Russian Court

#💜🥹✨#olga nikolaevna #tatiana nikolaevna #princess elisabeth of hesse #ella of hesse #elisabeth of hesse #princess elisabeth of hesse and by rhine #quotes #letters and diaries #otma #romanov #margaretta eagar #Six years at the russian court #1903 #wolfsgarten #Hesse #hessian royal family

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elsalouisa · 27 days

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"In Peterhoff during the hot June weather the little Grand Duchess Marie was born. She was born good, | often think, with the very smallest trace of original sin possible. The Grand Duke Vladimir called her “The Amiable Baby” for she was always so good and smiling and gay. She is a very fine and pretty child, with great, dark-blue eyes and the fine level dark brows of the Romanoff family. Lately speaking of the child, a gentleman said that she had the face of one of Botticelli’s angels. But good and sweet-tempered as she is, she is also very human, as the following stories will show. When she was a very little child, she was one day with her sister in the Empress’s boudoir, where the Emperor and Empress were at tea. The Empress had tiny vanilla-flavoured wafers called biblichen, of which the children were particularly fond, but they were not allowed to ask for anything from the tea table. The Empress sent for me, and when | went down little Marie was standing in the middle of the room, her eyes drowned in tears and something was swallowed hastily. “There! I’ve eaten it all up,” said she, “you can’t get it now.” | was properly shocked, and suggested bed at once as a suitable punishment. The Empress said, “Very well, take her,” but the Emperor intervened, and begged that she might be allowed to remain, saying, | was always afraid of the wings growing, and I am glad to see she is only a human child.” She was constantly held up as an example to her elder sisters. They declared she was a step-sister. Vainly I pointed out that in all fairy tales it was the elder sisters who were step-sisters and the third was the real sister. They would not listen, and shut her out from all their plays. I told them that they could not expect her to stand that kind of treatment, and that someday they would be punished. One day they made a house with chairs at one end of the nursery and shut out poor Marie, telling her she might be the footman, but that she should stay outside. | made another house at the other end for baby, then a few months old, and her, but her eyes always kept travelling to the other end of the room and the attractive play going on there. She suddenly dashed across the room, rushed into the house, dealt each sister a slap in the face, and ran into the next room, coming back dressed in a doll’s cloak and hat, and with her hands full of small toys. “I won’t be a footman, I’ll be the kind, good aunt, who brings presents,” she said. She then distributed her gifts, kissed her “nieces,” and sat down. The other children looked shamefacedly from one to the other, and then Tatiana said, “We were too cruel to poor little Marie, and she really couldn’t help beating us.” They had learned their lesson-from that hour they respected her rights in the family".

Margaret Eager "Six years at the Russian court"

#otma #grand duchess olga nikolaevna #grand duchess tatiana #romanovs #grand duchess maria nikolaevna #memories

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 11 months

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[The Daily Don]

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

June 24, 2023

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

JUN 25, 2023

Yesterday, forces from the private mercenary Wagner Group crossed from Ukraine back into Russia and took control of the city of Rostov-on-Don, a key staging area for the Russian war against Ukraine. As the mercenaries moved toward Moscow in the early hours of Saturday (EDT), Russian president Vladimir Putin called them and their leader, Yevgeny V. Prigozhin, traitors. This morning, they were bearing down on Moscow when they suddenly stopped 125 miles (200 km) from the Russian capital. This afternoon the Russian government announced that Belarus president Aleksandr Lukashenko had brokered a deal with Prigozhin to end the mutiny: Prigozhin would go to Belarus, the criminal case against him for the uprising would be dropped, the Wagner fighters who did not participate in the march could sign on as soldiers for the Russian Ministry of Defense, and those who did participate would not be prosecuted.

Prigozhin said he turned around to avoid bloodshed.

U.S. observers don’t appear to know what to make of this development yet, although I have not read anyone who thinks this is the end of it (among other things, Putin has not been seen today). What is crystal clear, though, is that the ability of Prigozhin’s forces to move apparently effortlessly hundreds of miles through Russia toward Moscow without any significant resistance illustrates that Putin’s hold over Russia is no longer secure. This, along with the fact that the Wagner Group, which was a key fighting force for Russia, is now split and demoralized, is good news for Ukraine.

In the U.S. the same two-day period that covered Prigozhin’s escapade in Russia covered the anniversaries of two historic events. Yesterday was the 51st anniversary of what we know as “Title 9,” or more accurately Title IX, for the part of the Education Amendments Act of 1972 that prohibited any school or education program that receives federal funding from discriminating based on sex. This measure updated the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and while people today tend to associate Title IX with sports, it actually covers all discrimination, including sexual assault and sexual harrassment. Republican president Richard Nixon signed the measure into law on June 23, 1972 (six days after the Watergate break-in, if anyone is counting).

Fifty years and one day later, the U.S. Supreme Court issued the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision overturning the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that recognized a woman's constitutional right to abortion. That is, a year ago today, for the first time in our history, rather than expanding our recognition of constitutional rights, the court explicitly took a constitutional right away from the American people.

The voyage from Title IX to Dobbs began about the same time Nixon signed the Education Amendments Act. In 1972, Gallup polls showed that 64% of Americans, including 68% of Republicans, agreed that abortion should be between a woman and her doctor—a belief that would underpin Roe v. Wade the next year—but Nixon and his people worried that he would lose the fall election. Nixon advisor Patrick Buchanan urged the president to pivot against abortion to woo antiabortion Catholics, who tended to vote for Democrats.

As right-wing activists like Phyllis Schlafly used the idea of abortion as shorthand for women calling for civil rights, Republicans began to attract voters opposed to abortion and the expansion of civil rights. In his campaign and presidency, Ronald Reagan actively courted right-wing evangelicals, and from then on, Republican politicians spurred evangelicals to the polls by promising to cut back abortion rights.

But while Republican-confirmed judges chipped away at Roe v. Wade, the decision itself seemed secure because of the concept of “settled law,” under which jurists try not to create legal uncertainty by abruptly overturning law that has been in place for a long time (or, if they do, to be very clear and public about why).

So Republicans could turn out voters by promising to get rid of Roe v. Wade while also being certain that it would stay in place. By 2016 those antiabortion voters made up the base of the Republican Party. (It is quite possible that then–Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell refused to permit President Barack Obama to fill a vacant seat on the Supreme Court because he knew that evangelicals would be far more likely to turn out if there were a Supreme Court seat in the balance.)

But then Trump got the chance to put three justices on the court, and the equation changed. Although each promised during their Senate confirmation hearings to respect settled law, the court struck down Roe v. Wade on the principle that the federal expansion of civil rights under the Fourteenth Amendment incorrectly took power from the states and gave it to the federal government. In the Dobbs majority decision, Justice Samuel Alito argued that the right to determine abortion rights must be returned “to the people’s elected representatives” at the state level.

Fourteen Republican-dominated states promptly banned abortion. Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Tennessee, and Texas banned abortion with no exceptions for rape or incest; Mississippi banned it with an exception for rape but not incest; and North Dakota banned it except for a six-week window for rape or incest. West Virginia also has a ban with exceptions for rape and incest. In Wisconsin a law from 1849 went back into effect after Dobbs; it bans abortion unless a woman would die without one. Texas and Idaho allow private citizens to sue abortion providers. Other states have imposed new limits on abortion.

But antiabortion forces also tried to enforce their will federally. In April, Trump-appointed U.S. District Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk ruled that the Food and Drug Administration should not have approved mifepristone, an abortion-inducing drug, more than 20 years ago. That decision would take effect nationally. It is being appealed.

When the federal government arranged to pay for transportation out of antiabortion states for service members needing reproductive health care, Senator Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) put a blanket hold on all military appointments—250 so far—until that policy is rescinded. For the first time in its history, the Marine Corps will not have a confirmed commandant after July 10. In the next few months, five members of the joint chiefs of staff, including General Mark Milley, its chair, are required by law to leave their positions. Tuberville says he will not back down.

On June 20, Representative Elise Stefanik (R-NY), chair of the House Republican conference, called for a federal abortion ban at 15 weeks, saying that the right to life “is fundamental to human rights and the American dream” and calling out the justices who decided Roe v. Wade as “radical judges who frankly took the voice away from the American people…. The people are the most important voices” on abortion, she said.

But, in fact, a majority of Americans supported abortion rights even before Dobbs, and those numbers have gone up since the decision, especially as untreated miscarriages have brought patients close to death before they could get medical care and girls as young as ten have had to cross state lines to obtain healthcare. Sixty-eight percent of OB-GYNs recently polled by KFF said Dobbs has made it harder to manage emergencies; 64% say it has increased patient deaths. A recent USA Today/Suffolk University poll shows that 80% of Americans—65% of Republicans and 83% of independents—oppose a nationwide ban on abortion while only 14% support one. Fifty-three percent of Americans want federal protection of abortion; 39% oppose it.

In politics, it seems the dog has caught the car. The end of Roe v. Wade has energized those in favor of abortion rights, with Democrat-dominated states protecting reproductive rights and the administration using executive power to protect them where it can. Republicans are now running away from the issue: the ad-tracking firm AdImpact found that only 1% of Republican ads in House races in 2022 mentioned abortion.

At the same time, antiabortion activists achieved their goal and stand to be less energized. This desperate need to whip up enthusiasm among their base is likely behind the Republicans’ sudden focus on transgender children. Right-wing media has linked the two in part thanks to the highly visible work of the American College of Pediatricians, which, despite its name, is a political action group of about 700 people, only 60% of whom have medical degrees. (They broke off from the 67,000-member American Academy of Pediatrics in 2002 after that medical organization backed same-sex parents.) They are prominent voices against both abortion and gender-affirming health care.

In Nebraska in May, a single law combined a ban on abortion after 12 weeks and on gender-affirming care for minors. “This bill is simply about protecting innocent life,” Republican state senator Tom Briese said.

Vice President Kamala Harris has made protecting reproductive rights central, traveling around the country to talk with people about abortion rights and pressing the administration to do more to protect them. At a rally in Washington, D.C., on Friday, she articulated the message of fifty years ago: “We stand for the freedom of every American, including the freedom of every person everywhere to make decisions—about their own body, their own health care and their own doctor,” she said. “So we fight for reproductive rights and legislation that restores the protections of Roe v. Wade. And here’s the thing. The majority of Americans are with us, they agree.”

—

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

#heather cox richardson #letters from an american #women's rights #russia #abortion rights #health care #Election 2024

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otmaaromanovas · 2 days

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Romanov myths part three - did the Grand Duchesses go shopping?

Over the years, a prevalent belief that the Romanov Grand Duchesses, Olga, Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia did not go shopping continues to be repeated. Some historians have even suggested that the girls did not know how paying for items worked. However, primary sources from people who knew the girls, were members of their entourage, and the Grand Duchesses' own diaries, tell a different story...

"Saturday. 10 August. … We walked along the historic boulevard and the main streets, but crowds followed us everywhere, so we were able to go into only 2 shops for a minute..." "Friday. 15 November. Had lessons, after that went shopping for wool with Nastenka as usual.." From Grand Duchess Olga Nikolaevna’s 1913 diary [my underlining]

In this entry, Olga describes shopping Countess Anastasia 'Nastenka' Vassilievna Hendrikova, who was a young lady-in-waiting at court and a particular favourite of the Grand Duchesses, often accompanying them on trips. As described in the first entry, it appears that safety and security concerns due to crowds, rather than a lack of understanding about shops, contributed to the Grand Duchesses not being able to shop frequently. Nastenka is frequently mentioned by the Grand Duchesses in their diaries, and volunteered to join the Romanov family in their house arrest and imprisonment. She was murdered by the Bolsheviks in September 1918.

"After coffee, I went for a walk with my pupils… They really liked to go to the shops and buy everything. Anastasia Nikolaevna was especially attracted to stores, where they sold doll shoes of various sizes… Tatiana Nikolaevna did not always accompany since the doctors found her heart was weak and she went with the Empress to take baths." A Few Years Before the Catastrophe by Sofia Ivanovna Tyutcheva.

Sofia Ivanovna Tyutcheva was a maid-of-honour to Tsarina Alexandra Feodorovna, and in 1907 was appointed as governess to the Grand Duchesses. The Grand Duchesses referred to her as "Savanna". She was dismissed in 1912 when she voiced concerns over Grigori Efimovich Rasputin. She wrote a short memoir in 1945, and passed away in 1957.

"[The] Grand Duchesses went shopping in the morning with one of the ladies-in-waiting to the Empress. They delighted in that because they could mix with the crowd and buy things just as everyone else did, and they were so pleased if they were not recognised at once." -- Upheaval - Olga Voronova

Countess Olga Konstantinovna Voronova was part of the aristocratic Kleinmichel family and in 1914, married one of the Romanov's favourite officers, Pavel Alexeievich Voronov. Through these connections, Olga Konstantinovna became a friend of the Grand Duchesses, exchanging frequent letters with Olga and Tatiana in particular, before and after the Revolution. She published her memoirs in 1932. Once again, it is inferred that being recognised and subsequent security concerns stifled the Grand Duchesses' shopping sprees.

Where did the myth come from?

It appears that the myth came about due to this extract from Margaretta Eagar, an Irish nanny who cared for the children from 1898 to 1904:

Her only knowledge of shops and shopping was derived from the toy and sweet shops in Darmstadt. One day she asked me why the Americans spoke English, not American. I told her the story of the Pilgrim Fathers, and described how they built houses and shops, and so made towns. She was exceedingly interested and inquired, ' Where did they find the toys to sell in the shops ? " Six Years at the Russian Court, by Margaretta Eagar

It appears that some historians forgot that Margaretta Eagar moved on from her nanny position in 1904, when the eldest Grand Duchess was nine and the youngest was three, and perhaps did not look for sources from when the Grand Duchesses had grown up and had slightly more independence.

Over time, the myth appears to have been exaggerated and repeated until it became part of the 'folklore' surrounding the Romanov Grand Duchesses.

Whilst it is clear that the Grand Duchesses did enjoy going shopping in their lifetimes, safety and security concerns meant they could not enjoy shopping as frequently as other teenagers may have. In the same way royals today would not be able to go to shops without being recognised, there was a chance that a crowd could gather. Similarly, Olga and Tatiana appear to have shopped more than the younger pair, Maria and Anastasia, likely due to being older in age and therefore having more independence.

Photos:

First set, left: Olga, Anastasia (hidden behind Olga), and Maria Shopping in Germany, 1910. Right: Olga and Tatiana out shopping in the Isle of Wight, 1909, accompanied by Dr. Evgeny Botkin (in the suit)

Second set, left: Tatiana and Maria shopping with Sofia Ivanovna Tyutcheva, circa 1910. Right: The Grand Duchesses and their entourage by shops, most likely taken in Germany, 1910

Sources:

Journal of a Russian Grand Duchess: Complete Annotated 1913 Diary of Olga Romanov, Eldest Daughter of the Last Tsar, translator Helen Azar, (Independently published: 2015)

A Few Years Before the Catastrophe: The Memoirs of Sofia Ivanovna Tyutcheva, translator George Hawkins, (Independently published: 2020)

Upheaval, Olga Voronova (Woronoff), (New York; London: G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1932) -- Free to read online here

Six Years at the Russian Court, Margaretta Eagar, (New York: Charles L. Bowman and Company, 1906) -- Free to read online here

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mariacallous · 3 months

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Support groups for parents of LGBTQ+ children have existed in Russia since at least the early 2010s — though it’s more accurate to call them mothers’ groups: in over 13 years of existence, no fathers have joined. Over the past decade, LGBTQ+ rights in Russia have been increasingly under attack, with more and more anti-LGBTQ+ legislation passed. On November 30, 2023, the Russian Supreme Court classified anything to do with the so-called “international LGBT movement” as “extremism,” effectively putting parents under threat of criminal prosecution for caring for their LGBTQ+ children. Two mothers who’ve been part of the LGBTQ+ parent community in Russia for the past decade agreed to speak with Verstka about how they’ve tried to protect their children and fight for their rights in the face of increasing hatred. Meduza shares a retelling in English.

The names of the people in this story who are still in Russia have been changed for safety reasons.

Svetlana

Sixty-two-year-old Svetlana from St. Petersburg raised her son, Yevgeny, as a single parent. Yevgeny, who passed away a few years ago, came out to his mom as gay in the summer of 2009 when he was 22 years old. Svetlana took the news calmly, though she still thought her son should get married and have children. Yevgeny brought home pamphlets from psychologists with answers to common questions that parents of LGBTQ+ children might have. Svetlana read them. “My main conclusion was that a person is born gay. That was enough for me, that it’s not an illness,” she says.

Six months after Yevgeny came out, he and his mom went on vacation together with a gay couple. Svetlana says it already felt completely normal to see two men together. “In that moment, I thought to myself, it would be good if Yevgeny had someone too,” she recalls. That’s usually how it is, she adds: “A parent accepts their child after six months.” Only a few accept their child’s sexuality right away.

On Svetlana’s living room wall, there’s a photo collage of her son and his friends in rainbow colors. Among them are many well-known St. Petersburg LGBTQ+ activists of the 2010s. Yevgeny didn’t hide the fact that he was gay and spent most of his life advocating for LGBTQ+ rights.

Svetlana’s acceptance of her son’s sexuality soon evolved into activism of her own. At an LGBTQ+ festival in St. Petersburg, she saw a screening of Prayers for Bobby, a film which tells the story of a religious mother and her gay son, Bobby, who ultimately takes his life when his mother and the Church refuse to accept him. After his death, Bobby’s mother questions her beliefs and becomes an activist for the U.S. organization Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). Following the screening, there was a discussion with parents of LGBTQ+ children. Svetlana and another mom participated. When asked if they wanted a community like PFLAG in Russia, they said yes.

The first meeting took place in St. Petersburg in January 2011. Svetlana says about seven mothers came — fathers never attended. At the time, they didn’t plan anything political; they just gathered to support each other. In late March 2011, at a press conference, Svetlana, Yevgeny, and Russian LGBT Network founder Igor Kochetkov said that if someone tried to restrict LGBTQ+ people’s rights, they’d appeal to the authorities. Soon, though, conservative United Russia politician and anti-LGBTQ+ rights crusader Vitaly Milonov, then a member of St. Petersburg’s Legislative Assembly, proposed a regional ban on “LGBT propaganda” among minors.

At first, activists still had hope they could stop the bill. LGBTQ+ youth and their moms came and held signs outside the Legislative Assembly. But on March 7, 2012, the law passed. Gradually, more and more mothers began to join the protests. “Anya, the mom of an LGBTQ+ kid from St. Petersburg, used to break dishes, but then she became an activist. There was also a mom of a transgender child; it took her a while, but then she came out holding a sign,” Svetlana recalls.

In 2012, mothers started marching at pride events. While now it seems almost unimaginable, a pride event in 2013 was actually authorized by the authorities. This didn’t protect the activists, though. One person had their face severely beaten, and everyone there was arrested. Svetlana says that even elderly mothers were shoved “very roughly” into a police van. At annual May Day pride marches, police always arrested participants and crowds shouted homophobic phrases. “In 2013, they threw rocks, feces, and rotten eggs at us and shouted all sorts of things. I won’t even quote what they were saying. You feel what hatred your son or daughter faces, and it’s very painful.”

At the beginning of his activism, Yevgeny took an aggressive stance against homophobic legislative initiatives, but after some time, he started to retreat inward and close himself off. “[When Yevgeny passed], he took with him an era where there was hope,” says Svetlana. She believes if he were still alive today, he would find the new repressions unbearable. “So many years of struggle, and all for nothing.”

Tamara

Tamara joined the St. Petersburg parent support group in 2020 when meetings were moved online because of COVID-19 restrictions. She lives in Moscow, but, as far as she knows, there weren’t any similar groups there. Tamara is 74, born during Stalin’s era. “This isn’t my first president,” she says. In the past, everyone in her social circle knew about LGBTQ+ people, but almost no one talked about them — and if they did, it was only when discussing celebrities. In 2016, Tamara learned that her youngest son, Fyodor, is gay. At the time, he was 30 years old. His father found out later.

Fyodor’s partner, Alexey, is four years older than him but looks younger, says Tamara. Despite their differences (Fyodor is a physicist and Alexey is a hairdresser), they share a lot of common interests, including a love of opera. “But most importantly, they know how to compromise with each other,” Tamara adds.

Alexey moved to Moscow with his mother as a teenager after he was attacked for being gay. “Well, that’s who he was, you could tell. There was an attempt on the child’s life. His mom left everything behind and they came to Moscow. Basically, to nowhere. Where could she turn? Who would help?” Tamara says.

Tamara had suspected that her son was gay but was afraid to ask, and he was afraid to tell her. Fyodor struggled with his identity for a long time and tried dating girls. After her son came out, Tamara says she “went through the whole journey parents go through.” “Honestly, at first, my world just collapsed. I didn’t know what to do,” she recalls. More than anything, she worried about how others might treat him. Fyodor did science outreach work with young people; he’d even received awards for it from the mayor. “I was afraid he would be completely banned if anyone, God forbid, found out.” Tamara also says that Vladimir, Fyodor’s father, often made homophobic comments: “Once, he was sitting, watching TV, and he said, ‘It’s all those LGBT people’s fault!’”

Then, Fyodor told his mom he wanted to introduce his boyfriend to the family. “Okay, don’t worry, everything will be fine,” she answered. But internally, she panicked, thinking of how her husband might react. It only got worse when she searched for information about LGBTQ+ people on the Internet and found hate groups. Eventually, she told her husband — and her fears proved unfounded. “Why are you worried?” he said. “You’ve always been tolerant. It is what it is.” Afterward, he wanted to meet his son’s boyfriend. Tamara says the meeting “went well.” Fyodor’s older brother also took the news well. He’s over 50, with his own family — on holidays they all get together with Alexey and Fyodor.

When people inquire if Fyodor has a wife or girlfriend, Tamara doesn’t know how to answer. Once, an acquaintance asked, “Does Fyodor have someone?” and she replied with relief, “Yes, he does.” “How long can one go on like this?” Tamara questions. “It’s very hard to always pretend.” She shared the news about her son and his partner with the people close to her, and everyone took it well. Now, she wonders why these conversations are taboo: “Parents are also in the closet, right? I ask other people about their kids. They all grew up right before our eyes. Why can’t I talk about mine? In our society, kids come out of the closet, but parents go in.”

On online support groups for parents of LGBTQ+ children, Tamara heard other parents’ stories and “saw moms leading completely normal lives.” Some mothers came in tears, saying: “We don't understand what this is. We’ve never heard of it before.” This was especially true for moms of transgender children. “It's hard to imagine what life is like for them now [after the crackdown on LGBTQ+ people],” says Tamara.

Children themselves also came to the groups, worried about how to tell their families. “Some do come out, but their parents don’t accept them. How can we help? How long can you live in secret? It's impossible,” Tamara says. “I know what my child went through. We had a conversation, and he told me: ‘If only you knew how much I needed support.’”

‘How can I make sure my child survives this?’

It’s estimated that LGBTQ+ people make up between 5 to 10 percent of any given society. This means that in Russia, there are at least 7 to 15 million LGBTQ+ individuals and up to 14 to 30 million parents of LGBTQ+ people.

According to kris pokrytan, a psychologist with the Plus Golos project (which mainly supports Russian-speaking families), parents of LGBTQ+ children often go through an acceptance process that isn’t linear or logical. Sometimes, there’s a “mourning period” before they come to terms with their child’s identity. But pokrytan stresses that there’s no one way to process things and not all parents grieve: “For a number of parents, [their child’s] coming out isn’t associated with a feeling of loss. Instead, there can be increased anxiety — where the parent is ready to accept [their child’s identity] but realizes there might be problems at school.”

Psychologists try to support the whole family: a child might feel relief after coming out, whereas a parent might sink into worry about how difficult life may now be — a fear only exacerbated by Russia’s latest anti-LGBTQ+ legislation. What’s dangerous is when parents show their child rejection as they navigate their own feelings. “It’s very difficult when a parent becomes unhappy with who you are,” says pokrytan. It’s possible to help work through stereotypes parents might have, but if they believe they can change who their child is, there’s very little psychologists can do.

Fathers in Russia are far less likely to accept their LGBTQ+ children than mothers, according to pokrytan. When a child comes out, their mom or dad also gets a new identity: the parent of an LGBTQ+ child. Everyone copes with this differently, but Russian fathers often don’t cope at all. The exceptions are few and far between.

After the Russian Supreme Court declared the so-called “international LGBT movement” an extremist organization, fewer people started reaching out to pokrytan. When they do, their questions are filled with a new urgency and fear: “How can I make sure my child survives this? How do we stay out of trouble with the authorities and take care of our mental health?”

‘May your love be infinite’

Fyodor and Alexey come home carrying a New Year’s tree, interrupting the interview. “What if we hadn’t welcomed them?” Tamara reflects. How would our traditions have continued? I think our son would be with us, certainly, but his beloved person, whom he’s been with for many years, wouldn’t be here. That’s a pretty strange thought.”

Tamara’s family puts on a play every New Year’s. “Alexey was very shy the first time, but now he’s gotten the hang of it,” Tamara says. “He called yesterday and said he’d invited his cousin and cousin’s girlfriend to the gathering, and also his friend and her two children. Of course, my older son and his wife and kid will be there too, as well as my husband’s sister. I’ve already assigned the roles.”

The family also organizes pride celebrations at home. At one, they held a symbolic wedding ceremony for Fyodor and Alexey. “Back then, I didn’t realize how serious it was for them. Alexey even cried, and they still wear the rings.” The speech Tamara gave at the ceremony ends with the following words:

Fate has awarded you its greatest gift — the kind of love that all seek, but only the chosen find. Its tremendous strength gives meaning to life and helps overcome difficulties and conquer any mountains. May your love be infinite. And as for whom and how to love, that’s a personal matter.

After the Supreme Court’s ruling, Alexey’s mom thought her son and Fyodor should leave the country. However, they’ve decided to stay for now. Reflecting on the court’s decision, Tamara says it’s “convenient for propaganda to use LGBTQ+ people as a tool to distract society from real problems.”

Both Svetlana and Tamara say they’re afraid for LGBTQ+ people, not for themselves. Since the new law came into effect, Svetlana says, everyone’s become occupied with figuring out how to survive, whether or not they should leave, and the feeling of community has been somewhat lost. She worries for the young activists: “You feel like you can’t help in any way.”

Tamara says it’s painful to see the situation in Russia growing worse and worse: “I think, why don’t people come to their senses? These are absurd decisions. For what? What are we suffering for? I say ‘we’ because we suffer too. I suffer along with my children. I’m not afraid for myself — nothing will happen to me. I’m only afraid for my children.”

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dearestones · 1 year

Text

One Step Ahead (Yandere! Russia x Reader)

Warnings: Yandere behavior, implied kidnapping.

Anonymous Request: Can i req one shot about yandere russia accidentally met his runaway darling (that escape 2 days ago) on train and what his next move

You should have run when you had the chance.

Years ago, when you had first met Russia, you had been just as nervous as the rest of your coworkers upon introduction. It was hard not to freeze up and back away at the very sight of him—over six feet tall and with a presence that demanded respect and attention. Even if you had exchanged minimal pleasantries, you felt your heart seize in your throat at the thought of continued conversation.

That day, you vowed to never get on his bad side.

However, while first impressions may have colored your perceptions of him at first, you found that Russia was a rather hilarious person once you got used to his blunt nature and dark humor. Witty and well read, whenever the both of you found each other alone (rare occasions, but you found yourself looking forward to them), Russia would give you battered books filled with his homeland’s poetry. Under hushed breath as other Nations milled around the room with political favors and current events in mind, Russia would translate bits and pieces of his favorite poems.

Pushkin, Pasternak, Nabakov.

Krylov, Lermonov, Yesenin.

Derieva, Dushkova, Ivinskaya.

You would have never known this had you not given Russia a chance, but his voice was comforting and soft. The way he would read in his native tongue first was to immerse you into his homeland’s most precious written words. Afterwards, as you would roll around the syllables and hushed breaths in your mind to try and recall the correct translation, he would gently transition into your native tongue. At first, his attempts were clumsy, but to know that he was willing to translate his most famous poetry into a tongue that wasn’t refined as his, filled you with warmth. Even as he apologized for his stumbling grammar and tenuous grasp on your vocabulary, you found yourself endeared.

In time, you also began toting around books of poetry from your homeland. Like him, you would start with a hushed, reverent tone in your own tongue before transitioning into his native Russian. Before long, these private poetry sessions extended from the short breaks in meetings to scheduled rendezvous that could take you from cute cafes to expensive restaurants.

Your other Nation friends were somewhat amused, but wary of the Russian’s intentions. Yet, they noted that your abilities to speak in the Slav’s tongue was becoming more fluent rather than practical. Furthermore, the interest in his culture and prolific bodies of literature had gone from professional curiosity to something bordering on close friendship. Yes, you had told your closest friends and colleagues, in the political arena Russia was a foe not to be ignored, but as a person who needed companionship just as anyone else? He was just a man.

What you didn’t expect from such a man, was the treatment that followed afterward.

Perhaps if you weren’t so loud about your friendship with Russia, if your friends hadn’t been so keen on butting into your affairs… Maybe if you had decided not to indulge in Russian poetry from the very beginning, you could have escaped without any hard feelings.

The fact of the matter was this:

Russia could be kind, but he had the choice to strip you away from everything you held dear.

Russia could be gentle, but he also had the capacity for cruelty far beyond your imagination.

Russia could have courted you and you would not have been the wiser had it not been for the fact that he felt slighted by your words.

Did you not realize that after all the time spent with him that you could no longer be friends? Russia loved his literature beyond anything else in the world? The words of his patriots had uplifted not only his hearts, but also the souls of countless citizens living in his lands. Just because you were a fellow Nation that happened to stay with him during breaks in meetings didn’t mean that he would read to them about poetry and provide a translation in the language that most reminded them of home.

No.

He only did that for you because you were special.

Could you see him doing that for Lithuania? For America? For China?

You were special and he reserved that title just for you. How dare you throw that back in his face and claim that you were merely friends!

So, Russia took you.

He hid you away in the depths of his wintry lands and away from prying eyes. From time to time, you would move from different abodes, from dacha to dacha, region to region. There was not one moment that you would be allowed to head back to your homeland, not without Russia’s permission at least.

On one evening, after a few weeks of getting used to living near one of his cities, you finally got the courage to sneak out and board a train. It had taken some time, quick thinking, and gentle persuasion, but you had done it. Preparation had been tricky, but you managed to score a rucksack with a number of practical articles of clothing, documentation that proved that you were the representative of your home, and money. A part of you felt bad for stealing the money, but at this point, it was either you would go home or not at all.

And to many Nations who had the misfortune to be taken away to another Nation’s household, that was basically imprisonment and a one way road to a slow, but painful existence. It was rare for Nations to die when withheld for too long from their native soil, but it wasn’t unheard of.

(It was a good thing that regeneration was available. However, it wasn’t exactly viable because it was a lengthy process that took up too much energy).

After two days of alternating from trekking around on foot and hitchhiking, you finally boarded a train. The platform was densely crowded, the packed bodies talking to each other about their plans and other inane chatter. You paid them no mind. Amidst the crowd, you were sure to be invisible.

Finally, after what seemed like an inordinately long amount of time, you and the crowd began to head inside. Lugging your rucksack on your back, you passed by several compartments until you reached one that was empty. Inside, you took note of the available amenities before settling yourself onto the bed. While you had initially felt bad about the money that you took, you wanted revenge. Was booking the most expensive overnight train petty and dangerous? Probably, but after the torture Russia had put you through, you thought that it was appropriate.

The worst that Russia could do once you were finally back home was to make accusations and point fingers. International incidents were supposed to be the product of human affairs, what Nations did between themselves on a purely personal level was up to the parties involved.

Content now that you were on your way to nearest neighboring country who could help you, you unpacked a few of your essentials and began to settle in for the night.

You were finally free.

Russia was a patient man.

Not many people knew that, but while he was quick to anger, he let the rage freeze and crystallize in his veins, the shards of ice hardening his heart. It had been a while since someone had incurred his wrath quite like this, but he knew from the telltale signs of his political aides and secretary shying away from him, that his temper was slowly bleeding into his normally personable disposition. If he was feeling charitable, he would have felt sympathetic, but at the thought of his lover traipsing away in the dead of night without so much as a goodbye, but with at least two months’ worth of his salary in their hands, he thought himself justified when he yelled at his secretary for their inefficient organization.

Today, he was to board a train and attend a conference in his capital city. While he would rather search for his dearest lover, he knew that this meeting had to take top priority. If any of his neighbors or God forbid America found out that not only had he kidnapped one of their fellow Nations but also lost them… Russia was always ready for an altercation, but he would rather not have a repeat of the Cold War.

As many of his citizens and a number of tourists gathered on the platform, he kept himself preoccupied at the very back of the crowd nearest to the train station. He arrived fifteen minutes early, keen on keeping to his appointment and knowing that if he stayed a moment longer, his volatile energy would have caused the humans under his direct command to be more skittish than usual. Poor things, them.

As he glanced up from his phone, his eyes scanned the growing crowd. Young children tagged along with their adult companions while a few couples mingled and held each other. At the sight, Russia felt his heart harden once more, the ice in veins refusing to melt even as he heard someone whisper about their plans for a future date. Moments before Russia could tune out the rest of the world, his eyes caught sight of a particular person who tried to keep themselves in the very middle of the crowd.

Now, normally this sort of person would have escaped Russia’s notice long before now, but he couldn’t help but stare.

That rucksack.

That coat.

The stance.

The figure underneath that heavy coat that was meant to conceal height and width.

Could it be…?

Suddenly, the crowd began surging forward onto the train, the person that Russia was observing followed suit. Hurriedly, Russia pushed forward, neglecting to act the part of a polite politician as he carelessly bumped into the humans who dared to get in his way. Had they no idea that they were in the presence of a Nation on a mission?

Woe to those who thought it prudent to demand recompense for his actions.

And hell to the rest of the train if he found out that the person he was tailing was not his beloved.

Close as a shadow, but not so close as to arouse suspicion, Russia trailed behind the figure. At this point, when he saw the person walking in the same rhythm as his lover, when he heard them mutter something under their breath, and when he paid careful attention to the rucksack on their back, he knew it was them. It had to be!

When his lover rounded the corner and faced their compartment door, Russia took note of the number and placement, carefully withdrawing from the area before his lover could see him.

As he steadied the heavy beating of his heart, Russia flexed his large hands within his woolen gloves. He was feeling poetic and emotional, but he thought that the ice that froze his blood was steadily melting.

He felt alive again.

But, if he were to have you in his arms again, he would truly be free.

As he strode back to his assigned compartment, he unlocked his phone and began contacting certain people and Nations for a few favors.

You had missed out on last night’s poetry session. Perhaps you should rectify that, no?

DISCLAIMER: I do not condone yandere behavior outside of fictional settings. Please don’t mistake the actions of fictional characters displayed in works of fiction to be considered harmless in real life.

If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

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