Orange - Ritualistic, Burning, Madness

the hess family from signs thought this looked like their house i kinda think it looks like the house from nope 🛸🏠

“Is it possible that there are no coincidences?”

Signs (2002), dir. M. Night Shyamalan.

Signs (2002) / Nope (2022)

SIGNS (2002)

Director: M. Night Shyamalan Cinematography:  Tak Fujimoto

On the off chance anyone here has watched Signs (2002) recently: did anyone else get the themes of sexism? Joaquin Phoenix insisting the aliens were too athletic to be women (rebuked for this by the woman sheriff), the Culkin boy condescending to his little sister all the time... also Mel Gibson telling the cop and the clerk not to call him (church) Father maybe, it's a bit curious that he only delivers that line to women. Maybe the part where Gibson says his vote counts as 2 because he's 2 parents now (the mom passed) is the tell -- like there was some sort of gendered panic over filling in the roles that used to belong to Mom, with his abandoned role as a church father obscuring a sense of defection from manhood... the image of two men leading the household, despite their formally being brothers, also seemed to be exploited to connote gay couples -- a scene where Phoenix tells Gibson not to let go of his hand (because they want to maintain radio resonance and hear the aliens) piqued my curiosity a bit. Maybe... the alien invasion is the threat of encroaching effeminacy...? Even if Bo's water technically defeated the alien, and the story of Bo being Angelic seemed to oppose her to the more Demonic aliens, it felt like their shared aversion to water and otherworldliness was more of link between the two? Especially since you see Bo's face appear on the alien's chameleon skin just before Phoenix reclaims his legacy of masculine prowess and beats the alien to death with a baseball bat. Which represents driving out his effeminacy or something? is the best I can make of it... I suppose if athleticism is the sexist's standard for masculinity, Culkin's asthma naturally makes him a natural target for the alien-as-effeminacy... even if formally his asthma saves him from the alien's poison? Or maybe that story beat from the climax, the threat of toxic injection, should mapped back to Phoenix's earlier anecdote about how his (unmasculine?) hesitation to kiss a girl prevented her vomiting into his mouth -- avoiding the nauseous injection of femininity by avoiding women (even though that's kinda gay, and therefore effiminate). Sexist circularity

Anyway it was a funny movie. Recommended

So I’m Adding Another Fella to the F/O List…

And it’s another Joaquin Phoenix character….Merrill Hess from Signs 2002!

Aside from the fact that Merrill is soooo very handsome and such a talented baseball player (two of the main reasons I’m fawning over him, lol), he’s also a family centered man with such a caring heart and protective and positive attitude. Ahhhh, I can’t help it…I simply love and adore him as a character.

Merrill is kind of an interesting f/o for me because he’s become a character I have periodically returned to every time I experience severe depression/ death in my life. I routinely watch this movie after funerals, after my eye surgeries (well listened since I couldn’t watch), and after having pretty bad depressive spells. This movie/Merrill have helped to reaffirm my faith and strength during these dark times. So, it’s like he’s become something of a ray of sunshine within my life admidst the darkness.

Soooo, I decided why wait, why not go ahead and add him to the f/o list! He’s more of a secondary romantic f/o, kind of like how Grinch is for me, Zach and Arthur are still primary, but Merrill’s invaded my headspace, lol. Sooooo….Added ✅ .

My f/o tag for him will be #merrill my heart 💙

The tag I’m using for any alternative universe fics I may post with him and my s/i will be #swing away sunshine au

My s/i for the Signs Universe is Emmaline Grace Hess #emmmaline grace

And the ship name for Merrill and Emmaline is #merraline

I don’t have too much to say regarding the relationship between Emmaline and Merrill just yet, but this is my most spicy coded selfship aside from the one I have with Zach….hehe.

Selfship Taglist below cut! Let me know if you want to be added/removed!

@snailchans-imaginarium @crunch-crunch-eat-a-bunch @changingcore @bitchywitchheart @stoatsapphic @3qu1us-main @benreillyswife @creativegenius22 @genderqueer-bithing @serenitytodd1234 @mailiow @celestetheseaunicorn @barnesncavill @mayixxxmoon @gui-mauves @evander2511 @bat-anon @kajiiswife

RORY CULKIN as MORGAN HESS in SIGNS (2002) dir. M. Night Shyamalan

The Perfect Stack of Pancakes

I had a 6 minute 30 cut of this all ready to go that glitched out only after upload, when I had cleared all the clips for storage space, so alas! no re-enactments of Brennan trying artichoke pizza for the first time with Issy recovering after a 5 hour flight of vomiting, or Lou’s dogged attachment to turning the discussion to pancakes, or Ally unsure what was and wasn’t a bit

An Uncle's Guide to Beginner Horror

We’ve all been there. Parents are out. You’re looking after your younger sibling/cousin/niece/nephew. They beg you to let them stay up past their bedtime and watch a movie their parents would never allow. You think about it, and yeah, sure, you could watch a movie. And the kid’s like 12 now, surely they’re old enough to join you for a Saw marathon, right? After all, you’ve been watching horror since you were a kid and you turned out fine. Right?

Well think about it this way buddy. How long are the “real” grownups gone for? Who’s going to be left consoling the screaming little [expletive] when they inevitably run screaming out of the bathroom because they thought Billy the Puppet was going to ask them to saw their legs off? You! That’s who! Is that really how you want to spend your Saturday night? Of course not!

That’s not to say you need to shield the little ones from higher rated horror. You’ve already shown them Coraline, Monster House, Beetlejuice (along with most of Tim Burton’s kid friendly horror movies), surely they’re ready now to move up a level. There’s plenty of 12 (PG-13 to the yanks) horror that is a perfectly thrilling way to get them invested in the genre that strikes fear into the heart of parents who love sleeping through the night everywhere.

The Ring (2002)

Okay, okay, hear me out. Yes, this is the first movie that scared the living daylights out of most of us. But the keyword here is first. We’ve all been there. Did I first watch this movie at age 7 and get traumatised for months and have to take the long way home from my friend’s house because that way was completely lit by streetlights? Yes, absolutely. But now look at me! Actually, wait-

But seriously, this movie is actually a great entry into horror, past the gateways of Paranorman and Gremlins. It’s got some good scares, but they’re few and far between, and at its core is a gripping mystery about an investigative journalist just trying to figure out what happened to her niece.

With enough genuine scares to ease you out of “kid-horror”, and enough plot to be a genuinely good movie besides, The Ring is a perfect way to begin your career as a horror fan.

Also, if your younger relation has a phone you have got to try calling them as soon as the tape ends.

I’m starting to see why I haven’t babysat my niece in a while.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)

A more recent release, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark was actually based on a children’s book series of the same name! See? Totally kid friendly!

The movie tells the story of a group of teenagers who wind up in a haunted house after being chased by a local bully. There they find a book of horror stories written by Sarah Bellows, a young girl who was accused of witchcraft. When leaving the house, they take the book with them.

Things go wrong when new stories start appearing on the book that previously weren’t there, and the teens quickly realise the stories are about them, and become true as they’re written by invisible hands.

This movie definitely errs on the side of spooky over outright scary, with creepy monsters and jump scares galore, making it a great addition to your babysitting watchlist.

Signs (2002)

One of my fondest memories is of me and two of my best friends sneaking this DVD out of the living room when we were maybe 10 years old and slipping it into my brother’s PlayStation when he was at work. That one shot of the alien coming out from behind the bush had us 6ft off the ground and closing every door behind us for days.

It tells the story of a former priest who lost his faith after the death of his wife discovering crop circles in his field and learning it’s the product of an alien invasion. He, along with his family, have to learn to deal with these new creatures invading their land with no knowledge of their abilities or intentions.

Looking back at it now it’s hard to see why I thought this movie was absolutely terrifying, but it’s still a very solid movie overall, and a great film to show that budding horror fan in your family. Watching it at 10 myself, I was scared, sure, but nothing too long lasting to make me leave the bedroom light on afterward. It was one of my first experiences of horror where the scares were pure enjoyment for the duration of the movie.

Scream (1996)

Yes, this movie is 18s, but a) I refuse to not put a slasher on this list and b) Scream is THE starter horror of a generation. Most of us first watched this when we were still single digits. I know I did, and it changed me forever, kicking off a lifelong obsession with the genre.

Scream is the perfect sleepover with a big bowl of popcorn movie from our youths, and a movie we all had introduced to us far too young if we promised to sit in the corner and be quiet while our older siblings/cousins watched while the grown ups were out.

An absolute classic that revitalised the entire genre in the mid-90s, Scream tells the simple tale of a guy (or spoiler alert: 2 guys) with a knife and a twisted love of horror movies. As a kid I made it my mission to watch every movie referenced in Scream so I could truly understand the “nuance” of it all, and I haven’t looked back since.

The opening scene shocked a generation with the killing of its biggest name within 10 minutes, the twist reveal of Ghostface’s identity and the introduction of the Final Girl to End All Final Girls one Ms. Sidney Prescott. This movie had it all.

I could write an article solely on why everyone needs to see this movie, but unfortunately, I have to move on or I’ll never stop.

Insidious (2010)

The sheer cultural impact this movie had. When Insidious first came out it was all you’d hear about for weeks. This was the horror movie to watch. At the time, everyone was calling it the “scariest movie ever” and for a near 13 year old Darragh, I won’t lie, it came pretty close.

That one shot of the demon is so deeply ingrained into the minds of everyone who watched this movie and for good reason. To this day it’s rare to see such an effective jumpscare. The only one that comes close, to me, is the one in The Haunting of Hill House. You know which one.

Telling the story of a young boy who slips into a coma as various demons battle for possession of his body, Insidious kicked off 10 years of nothing but supernatural horror. This is an effect I wasn’t such a fan of, but what a way to kick it off.

This movie is genuinely so chilling throughout, with masterful horror direction from Saw creator James Wan, and a perfectly terrifying entry into the ghost-flick genre.

So next time you’ve got to babysit, and you’re okay with the wrath of angry parents who have to deal with their kid’s nightmares, you’re ready for a spooky night in where you don’t have to ask them “so, have you seen Coraline yet” for the 11th time. Nothing kills you inside a little and makes you feel ancient like a 12 year old kid rolling their eyes at you.

Horror movies of 2002

minor league baseball star merrill hess has parted ways with scooter braun as his manager, variety reports

I love the little shit in signs that doesn't really go anywhere but it's there to build universe like Bo saying she dreamt this or Merrill quitting baseball for some reason or the fact the brothers are terrorized by this Punks™. It really makes the movie so much more dynamic and fun.

Nope (2022) / Signs (2002)

guys we don’t talk about how good of a horror movie signs is