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lovesickeros · 7 months

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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]

This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.

She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.

But it'd been almost a week since then.

The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.

That counted for something.

Not much, but something!

..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.

There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.

She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.

So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.

Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.

Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.

Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.

She really didn't like it.

There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.

She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.

She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.

That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.

Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.

But he wasn't.

He was out running her nation, instead.

And what was she doing? Nothing!

She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.

Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.

Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.

..She wasn't ready.

What was she supposed to say?

Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?

She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.

For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.

Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.

Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.

It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

"Focalors?"

The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.

She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.

"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"

The silence is deafening.

She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!

"Lady Furina?"

Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.

"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.

Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.

Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.

"Why aren't you killing me?"

The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.

She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.

"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."

The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.

He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.

..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?

How unfair.

"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"

She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.

..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.

She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.

For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.

Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.

For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.

Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.

She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.

She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.

She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.

"Again."

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #neuvillette #focalors #furina #dont ask what happened here idk #this was. also supposed 2 be neuvi focused and then i.#dont talk 2 me abt focalors i wont ever shut up #got a 300k word essay on hand abt how i feel abt her character/how i interpret her personality and her story #focalors jsut like me fr fr (cries at the slightest inconvenience or the slightest mean comment)#shes so pathetic girlfail im gonna chew on her #what happens when reader gets stuck with two emotionally repressed french bastards?? hell #neuvi is the “emotionless” flavor of emotionally repressed in that hes HORRIBLE at showing emotions at all #ask him to smile and its incredibly unnerving and theres too many teeth but hes trying his best please call him pretty or he will cry :(#furina is the flavor of emotionally repressed where she makes it up by having Too Many emotions #using theatrics and masks to show everyone what they want to see but inside this girl is a MESS #constant anxiety and panic 24/7 #will do random shit and look at you and if u dont compliment her she will think u hate her and cry #compliment her and she'll do even stupider shit to try and impress you more #i love my scrunkly little babies they r so stupid and mentally ill someone get these bitches some THERAPY #i want 2 put them under a microscope #watch this be ooc fr furina when more of her lore drops if shes not girlfail im leaving #anyway see u in a week im going on a trip ill get back 2 u in 6-7 business days

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jewreallythinkthat · 2 months

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The most moderate, nuanced and productive people I have discussed the Israel-Hamas war with have been Jews, Israelis, and people with Palestinian family. Everyone directly affected by this just wants it to stop and to have peace and safety in the region in a way that minimises the casualty count.

The most extreme and performative and vile things I've been told are by people who have no connection to this and like to think they are experts because they have covered adjacent topics during learning, or read stuff online.

If all the randos in the west would just shut up for ten minutes and let those of us actually affected, with an understanding of the history of the land and the culture and the generational trauma experienced by Jews and Palestinians alike talk, we might actually have a chance to salvage this and stop it spiraling

#jumblr #antisemitism #i/p #nuance is something so easy to have and yet people choose not to #we are measured and non extreme because we dont have the privilege to be angry.#someone literally said that they wont ensge further with me because the topic makes me emotional #jews get called genocidal #palestinans get called Antisemitic #how about the rest of you shut the fuck up and let the adults talk #maybe youll learn how to problem solve and not be a bigot if you listen to those you so desperately want to hate #its pathetic #we all know hamas doesnt represent all Palestinians #we also know hamas teaches Antisemitism in schools in gaza and the west bank #these two things can and should co-exist in your head #that doesnt meam all palestinians are rabid jew hating murderers #it means the situation is complicated and not black and white and will take more than just screaming for a ceasefire to actually solve #we are not a football for your performative activism

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kaltacore · 3 months

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no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

#sorry. i cannot shut up about this. this scene stuck with me the moment i saw it and i just couldn't get it out of my head #i mean. i liked essek well enough. i just got attached to other characters more. but then 'it's not fair' happened and it sealed the deal #it was just. so beautiful. so sincere. so important for a character who just started to learn how to care about people #his reaction wasn't intentional. it didn't change anything. but it showed how humane he had become. how deeply he cared #mighty nein are no joke pal #they're gonna make you feel all these unknown emotions like sympathy and love and affection even when they're incredibly painful #essek experiencing closeness and attachment in all their forms. as something beautiful and something aching. is so important to me #they saved him because they had good hearts! and these good hearts sparked so much joy around them!#but if a good heart grants you an ability to experience joy so profoundly. it makes everything else feel like that #you get it. i hope you get it. anyway e140 did so much psychic damage on me i probably will never recover #in a good way mostly <3 but yeah. yeah. it makes me feel a little insane #the mighty nein #essek thelyss #critical role

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theblacktiecacti · 18 days

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jay went to clown school. let’s talk about that

#art by me #jrwi riptide #jay ferin #i was drawing wherever the wind took me #and it took me to clown school jay #the best destination i could’ve hoped for #i feel like so much could be explored or expanded there in fanon #but i barely see anything #welp if there is none make some #sound off in the comments if you ever think about how jay rarely retracts into herself when faced with conflict #but instead goes to clown school or hitches a ride with the loserest boy she can find #and it’s the rare (and most impactful) moments when she responds differently #shutting down after the phone call with her grandmother #or blowing up after learning about lizzie and ava #or crying as she’s told to shoot her friend in the chest #but the every day conflict almost always gets humor as a response #which leads to very out of pocket moments but we love jay for it #oooooough jay ferin the way you express emotions is so important to meeeee #ALSO the fact that often it’s insult based humor or overly confident in self humor #let’s dissect that jay how do you relate to your friends in the hierarchical structure of the navy academy #did you feel like your humor had to subtly place you at the top? or you would not be enough? jay?#your relationship with kira hinges on fixing this structure by being better than it hm? let’s talk about that #let’s talk about how your life centered a lot around being the best even if not directly or intentionally #should i do a full analysis on this?#i kinda wanna do a full analysis on this

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mlobsters · 4 months

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supernatural s1e16 shadow (w. eric kripke)

aka the first time i had a full-tilt meltdown over this show.

#supernatural #eric kripke #spn 1x16 #sam and dean #sam winchester #dean winchester #mygifs #spngifs #sam and dean mush #how to feel about your brother #like watching soon to be exes-the relationship is clearly over and one flaying themselves open showing their squishy insides #trying to make it work but the other is gently shutting them down and saying it's over #wholly lost my shit about this. late enough in s1 where we know this is A LOT of (too much?) emotional vulnerabilty for dean #but also way too early in any show's run to expect this level of emotional vulnerability and guts being strewn about #truly threw me for a loop. but it certainly set the stage for where they would go with sam and dean over the years #Dean's little eyebrow raise to the “I'd do anything for you” and sad half smile “could be” just punch me in the gut #and that sweet open expression talking about being together and a family again. ugh. such a rarity to see that on him #and Sam's “i don't want them to be” absolutely crushing. in the kindest manner.#but by the end dean's got his walls back up. oh my heart.

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never-looked-so-good · 9 months

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📷 @/charles_leclerc With the boys 🤍 Best friends since forever.

#shut up that's so cute 🥺#thanks for making me emotional charles #charles leclerc #f1 #formula 1 #instagram

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softinvasions · 4 months

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Hornet at Herrah's Altar • Dec. 2023

#p #composition #sonnet #archive #hornet #hollow knight #baby's first metrical break...what do we think.........#local poet is shocked to learn it has improved in the last 2 years despite writing very little. more at whatever time it wakes up #if you were there for my first hornet sonnet this is a rewrite of it that's actually good 🫶#I've always always always had fun playing with her relationship to the radiance...like she has to just. Not Dream and Not Want or else she #will fall to the infection. I guess you could make the argument that being a demigod grants her immunity but that's less interesting to me #The fight to remember her life and herself through the years of stasis while also shutting every emotion down. I think what we see of her i #the game—esp her emotion towards the end—is the cracks in her armor that she deliberately doesn't fix because she knows one way or another #all of this will end. the burden is off her shoulders

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hephaestuscrew · 4 months

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When Minkowski hugs Eiffel in Ep31 Sécurité, she just grabs hold of him without making a sound, and the listener only knows about the hug because of the "oof" noise Eiffel makes in reacting to having "the wind knocked straight out of him", and the script directions say that Minkowski has "tears silently streaming down her face", and Eiffel is the one who directly acknowledges the hug verbally ("Don't apologise for hugging"). If all we had was Minkowski's side of the interaction, we probably wouldn't know that they hugged.

When Eiffel hugs Minkowski in Ep54 The Watchtower, he first tells her "C'mere, give us a hug!", and he makes a happy sound of effort as he squeezes her, and Minkowski - under the influence of Pryce's restraining bolt - doesn't seem to have any reaction at all, which Eiffel doesn't appear to notice. Once again, if all we had was Minkowski's side of the interaction, we wouldn't know that they hugged.

The question of 'in what ways is the hug made audible?' feels much more significant in audio than it would in any another medium, and I do think it reflects something about these characters and their willingness to be open with their affection. Minkowski "grabs him and hugs him" hard enough to knock the wind out of him, but she does so silently. In a somewhat similar but also very different moment of reunion, Eiffel "embraces her" and he's not quiet as he does it. There's something about how Communications Officer Eiffel is always the one who verbalises their physical affection, whether or not he's the one who initiated the hug. The closest Minkowski gets to verbally acknowledging a hug is through an apology; Eiffel is the one who makes the hugs real for the listener.

#Wolf 359 #w359 #Doug Eiffel #Renée Minkowski #Renee Minkowski #This links into how Eiffel is in many ways a protagonist built for the audio medium #He reacts to things and he tends to do so loudly #Also when Minkowski tells Eiffel 'shut up. just stop talking' during the Sécurité hug #the script direction for that line is '(tiny)'#and that makes me feel things #She's emotional in a way that makes her voice tiny...#I know I talk about Eiffel & Minkowski hugs in basically every other post #but I'm doing it again #If anyone is following me who doesn't want to hear about Eiffel & Minkowski hugs #then they are probably lost and should look elsewhere #I think it's probably not easy to make a hug obvious in audio drama without it sounding a little awkward #It's not necessarily a very audible interaction #(Which might be why I don't think there's really anything in the audio #to indicate the script direction that Eiffel and Lovelace hug in Ep56 Idle Hands)#The Magnus Archives managed it pretty well with their fabric rustles #but those don't live in my heart like Eiffel's hug noises #the empty man posteth #wolf 359 spoilers #w359 spoilers #Eiffel & Minkowski

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thirddoctor · 20 days

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We talk a lot about men having no understanding of women as people or how to write them, and that's absolutely true and does way more real world harm, but it's very clear that a lot of folks are completely out touch with how most men think and behave. This is a huge problem in a lot of fanfic imo, and also a top contributor to the "he would not say that" problem. I don't really have an answer except spend more time with real people I guess and listen to their perspectives instead of assuming they're exactly the same as yours. That's always a good idea.

#it's not that men and women are total opposites - they're more alike than not #but in most cases there will still be significant differences #they're usually socialised very differently and taught to value different traits #which affects the way they act and react to stuff as well as the way they process emotions #obviously there are exceptions but it's still something that needs to be factored in if your characters grew up in a gendered society #anyway this was prompted by the fact that I keep seeing posts that make me want to ask when the last time the op spoke to an actual guy was #Ranger shut up

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livelovecaliforniadreams · 3 months

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#When You Miss Your Best Friend/Soulmate

The Office 3x5 | Abbott Elementary 3x1/3x2

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dump-troy-marry-me · 1 year

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thinking once again about the fact that troy just assumed that mariah would choose abed. and he still went to the dance with her and abed. he was certain he was not getting a date out of it. and he still went to the dance. with abed. i know what you are

#and the writers still thought he was straight after this ???#cmon #it drives me up a wall !!!#'what was wrong with abed?'#hes so in LOVE #god hes just. he loves abed. so goddamn much #community #community tv #nbc community #troy barnes #abed nadir #trobed #early 21st century romanticism #achilles wont shut up about early 21st century romanticism again #this is the same post ive made abt 10 times #but something abt that episode. it makes me feel so many homosexual emotions

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clotpolesonly · 2 months

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Blue Lily, Lily Blue ch 15 // Mister Impossible ch 25

#pynchedit #adamedit #ronanedit #brydeedit #trcedit #tdtedit #Pynch #Adam Parrish #Ronan Lynch #Bryde #TRC #TDT #quote posts #i'm genuinely shocked still by the lack of fics featuring abusive!Bryde #either exploring the canon dynamic or making use of him in AUs #cuz like........this exchanged stopped me cold when i first read it #it's a dead ringer for when Adam was triggered by cabeswater/the night horror in bllb #are you mad at me? what did i do wrong? have the rules changed? why are you mad? what do you want me to do to make up for it?#and Bryde hasn't even said anything it's just Ronan getting a vibe and immediately jumping to ''i fucked up he's mad what did i do wrong''#it just feels so indicative of their vibe and the atmosphere that Bryde has fostered that that's Ronan's instinct #he doesn't do that with anyone else #i know Bryde is a manifestation of Ronan's own subconscious but that doesn't prevent him from being abusive #dreams have agency once their dreamt and Bryde uses his agency to be a dick to his dreamer alkfdgh #the amount of emotional manipulation and the way he undermines Ronan's confidence in himself #the way he controls Ronan #i'm still not over Ronan looking to Bryde for PERMISSION to see Matthew #i'm just saying ok i'm JUST SAYING this parallel speaks volumes to me it's emblematic of their whole dynamic #i'll shut up now #ps pls write fics with abusive Bryde and/or cult leader Bryde cuz they're the same thing tbh

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maudiemoods · 2 months

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I have a weak and sensitive heart

#i am the embodiment of emotion #ough #sometimes i wish i had a tougher heart #i feel grief so hard it makes me sick #and there is nothing to grieve? i just #get sad! im probably about to start my period or something AJDJWJMFKAJFJJEJSJ #this is how it normally goes AUGRJRFHJ #ren won't shut up #i should see a therapist again but honestly #im good 😎 ive been fine and dealing alright #its late!! i need to sleep! but i drank coffee ❤️ at 7pm ❤️#explodes

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crybaby-bkg · 1 year

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Dabi is surprisingly a lightweight. You honestly would’ve never figured by looking at him, but as you think back on it, you’ve never really seen him drink a lot. Not when there were celebratory parties, or when things didn’t go right for him. It’s why you’re so shocked when you convince two shots into his system, why he suddenly looks so loose, why his grin splits so wide.

He’s a clinger, you’ve also learned as you’ve started observing the blue eyed man where he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. His body bends over almost uncomfortably to fit into the position, and you can’t help but flinch a little when his damp breath blows a quiet little raspberry on your flesh.

omg wait my favorite thought is of you not even necessarily being a heavyweight, you can just handle your liquor a little better than anyone expects. you love to knock back drink after drink, convince Dabi into some stupid competition that he falls for because he’s such a little nerd and secretly wants to impress you. he does it thinking you’ll be the drunk one first, the one hanging off of his arm and hopefully his dick by the end of the night.

it belatedly shocks him when it’s the exact opposite. when he’s slurring a little and smiling at you, when you watch him through low eyes with a wide grin, when he wraps himself around you like a python, when you shake his face gently as you squish his cheeks together in hand. he’s just so utterly obsessed with you in these moments, and maybe it’s the liquor in him, but he knows his lowered inhibitions are only bringing forth the feelings he’s always suppressed.

drunk sex with Dabi where he’s the one too loose limbed and limp and weak. he flops onto bed like some rag doll with his arms and legs spread wide, but he musters up enough strength to release the heavy weight of his cock from its confinements. doesn’t do much besides lift his head from the pillows with a point to his crotch and a lazy grin, an announcement of, go ahead and hop on already before he’s flopping back down again, ready to lay back and get fucked like how he knows he deserves.

#at first I wrote about him getting whisky dick and not even realizing it and being so embarrassed about it the next morning #but it made me laugh too hard and I was like #no one will enjoy that dude shut up AJSHDKDJDJD #but omg lightweight baby that can only cling to you and whine to go back to your room to fuck #only to pass out immediately on the bed lmfao #I love him I’m gonna str*ngle him so bad #anyway I finished all my work for the week and now I feel empty so I will be moving onto next weeks work tomorrow LOL NERD #but everything next week is simple too so why not get it out the way ya know????#after that I might sit down and actually write another fic since it’s been a little minute #everyone voted for therapist obsessed bkg next but I kinda wanna write something emotional for touya now lmfao #I’m becoming so obsessed with him and it HURTS!!!!!#I can only handle one ☝🏻 at a time or else I start getting the shakes #also omg my regular dr is making me go to the heart dr bc she said my anxiety worries her for my physical condition aksjdj embarrassing #okay bye I’m gonna read a little and sleep #—new treat in the streets! 🍫#dabi treats! 🍬#tw: alchohol mention

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