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reidgraygubler · 3 years

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bowling shoes (franklin/reader)

Title: Bowling Shoes

Request: yes! It was requested by the wonderful @sunlight-moonrise

Couple: franklin (mgg’s role in beginner’s luck)/fem!reader

Category: smut

Content Warning: SEXUAL CONTENT (degradation, praise kink, semi-public sex, orgasm denial, little bit of cockwarming ;), spanking, heavy petting, slight humiliation (i think), spitting, hair pulling, groping, creampie/unprotected sex, fingering, penetrative sex), dom!franklin, kissing/making-out, swearing, implied age gap (but they never specify Franklin’s age. So idk) (if i missed anything that needs to be tagged, PLEASE let me know!!)

Word Count: 4,224

Summary: Reader is new in town and works at her grandfather’s bowling alley, where some people spend late nights practicing for the town-wide bowling competition.

A/N: The third day of my seven days of seven fics! This particular one shot has been sitting in my wip list since September 2020. And I just finally decided to write it. This was written with matthew gray gubler’s character from the short film Beginner’s Luck. If you haven’t seen it yet I highly recommend watching it bc it’s amazing and I love Franklin. I hope you’re all enjoying the 7 days 7 fics! I really cranked it out on all of these oneshots! Here is the masterlist for that! And here’s my main masterlist! Thank you all for the love and support!

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Little Falls… I never understood this town's love for bowling… and I probably never will… It’s probably a good thing that I moved from Little Falls before I got old enough to actually learn how to bowl, mostly because if I did, and I didn’t bowl, I’d probably be chased out of town with a crowd of pitchforks and torches.

So, it’s probably an even better thing that I just work at the town’s precious bowling alley. But, to be fair… This alley has been in the family since it opened.

Long story short, I hate bowling. I just needed extra cash, and my grandfather just so happens to pay me extra. Not because I’m fami-No that’s exactly why...

“You are busting my balls here!” A man shouted from the lanes. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked in that direction, looking for the owner of the shouts. I gently placed the pair of shoes down on the counter before walking around to the lanes. “You can’t be serious!” A guy wearing a yellow bowling shirt was shouting down the lane he was standing on.

“Is… Is everything okay?” I leaned against the half-wall beside me. I propped my arms on top of the wall as I looked at him. I looked across the tables behind the lanes and noted there was only one other person, who was watching the man with such intent I was sure they’d kill him. “It’s just you playing,” I half-laughed at the guy. He spun around on his toes and pointed a finger at me. I tried to not take it as accusatory, but everything in my body was telling me he meant it as such.

“I would have gotten that pin down if it wasn’t for you,” he half-shouted at me. I lifted my hands as some form of surrender as I stepped down to the lanes. The guy in the yellow bowling shirt looked at me and cocked his head.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just came down here to see if everything was alright… And if it was, I was just going back to work… Cleaning smelly rental, bowling shoes,” I gestured back towards the counter where a pile of rental shoes was sitting, waiting to be cleaned. “I just heard all the shouting down here and wanted to make sure someone wasn’t fighting with the balls,” I shrugged as I looked up at him. My joke about the balls was only mildly humorous if you knew that there were only 3 people in total in the alley. Myself, the angry stranger, and his unusual friend.

Glasses that kinda reminded me a little of Jeffery Dahmer sat on the tip of his nose, and just under his nose was a porn-stache. And the way he styled his hair just looked like a mop sitting on his head. But there was something, I don't know, attractive (I guess it was attractive) about this man. A certain handsomeness that I couldn’t exactly describe.

“No, no, no one was fighting with the balls,” he spoke as he stepped closer to me. He looked down at me with a smile before resting both his hands on my shoulder. I sighed deeply as I stared up at him. “Now, go, run along… You said you have rental shoes to clean,” he smiled as he turned me around to face the 3 steps behind us.

“Hold on,” I stepped away from him and turned back to face him. I had to crane my neck up to meet his stare, him being nearly a foot taller than me. “I can easily kick you out of here,” I scoffed as I looked at his shirt, finally noticing the patch sewn into the pocket of his shirt. The name Franklin was stitched into the patch with black thread in a fancy script. “Franklin,” I looked up at him and smiled. The cocky and smug expression on his face faltered for a moment as he looked at me.

“Oh, aren’t you’re so cute,” he brought his hands to rest on my cheeks before squeezing them together, pushing my lips out. “You’re new in town, aren’t you?” he asked as he cocked his head to look down at me. I couldn’t exactly answer with my words, so I just nodded lightly. My eyes never left his face, and his never left mine.

“There’s just one thing you’re missing then. I own this place. This bowling alley... Is mine,” he kept his voice low as he spoke and the smugness returning, “Do you understand, Sunshine,” he asked, the condescension in his tone really coming out with the pet name he used. I tried to laugh and shake my head before I pulled away from his grasp. I stumbled back, nearly falling over the steps behind me.

“Since when are you my grandpa?” I asked, cocking my head to my shoulder. I could feel a teasing smile grow on my lips as I looked at him. His face shifted from being very smug to being shocked. “Yeah, bet you didn’t see that one coming… Did ya, Franklin,” I smiled at him.

Franklin stepped back away from me but kept his stare on my face. “You’re not Hank’s grandkid. I would know when his grandkid would be here,” he pointed at me as he backed away from me. I snickered and shrugged.

“Well, you’d be wrong,” I smiled as I folded my arms over my chest. Franklin looked over his shoulder at his companion, seeking some sort of backup. But it was clear that she had no intentions in answering, she was far too busy just admiring him. How did he not see this as uncomfortable and wrong?

“Aw, now you’re intimidated by the bowling alley girl? I don’t even bowl,” I scoffed before pulling my eyes off him, “I just work here,” I laughed. Franklin looked genuinely offended by my statement. Again, I don’t understand this town’s love for bowling.

“I’m sorry… What did you just say?” he looked at me and furrowed his eyebrows. Oh, I really did offend him… Do I feel sorry? Not really...

“Oh, yeah, you heard that right. It’s stupid. And, frankly, Franklin, I don’t understand how a town so quaint is so obsessed with throwing a ball at some plastic things,” I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. He stepped closer to me, and for the briefest of moments, I wasn’t sure what he was going to do. And suddenly a tension was in the air between us. It was suffocating. “Did I make you mad? Did I piss poor Fwankwin off,” I furrowed my eyebrows and pouted, "Did I huwt your feewings," my head falling back as I broke into a fit of laughter.

“Be quiet,” Franklin scoffed as he stared at me. I felt my smile become a little smug as I looked up at him.

“Oh? Really? Why don’t you make me?” I shrugged and stepped closer to him. We were so close, breathing each other’s air. One step from either of us and our chests would be pressed together. Our toes, however, were touching. His rented bowling shoes barely standing on my canvas shoes.

That was when the air tensed even more. But, the level of tension shifted from an awkwardness… to a certain awkward-sexual tension. I personally loved it because he’s a dick. Men like him need to be messed with. Plus, I’m bored...

“Is that what you want me to do?” his voice was lower than before. My smile fell away and I swallowed roughly. I could feel my heart in my throat, cutting off any words I wanted to say. “Oh, I see how it is. All that snark and attitude is fake. Because the second someone… An older man, maybe, says something… It goes away,” he smirked as he slowly brought a hand to my face. I went to move my face away from his touch, but failed when he forced me to look at him.

“You’re a brat,” he whispered as he kept his eyes on me. A shiver went down my spine and I had to press my legs together, slightly shifting my feet. I stared at him with wide eyes, feeling my breathing pick up slightly.

And the moment was ruined before I even got the chance to say something. It seemed as if we both had forgotten something. Rather, someone.

“We should get going, Franklin,” a voice asked from behind him.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he closed his eyes and pulled his hand from my face. It was obvious we both forgot that someone else was here. We were both so involved with each other that we just forgot about his companion. After a brief moment of awkward silence, he opened his eyes and looked at me, sighing deeply before speaking.

"I'm gonna be here late. You should just go home," Franklin spoke to his companion but kept his eyes strictly on me. His friend looked up at him like he was some sort of celebrity. I wasn’t exactly sure why she was staring at him like that. He wasn’t a god or anything. Unless he was, then I’d be screwed.

"It's okay. I can wait,” she smiled as she longingly looked at him. I looked back at Franklin before nodding to his friend. I’m starting to think she wasn’t even a friend of his… just a creepy and overly-devoted fan. I don’t think Franklin even noticed her obsession. “I’ll always wait for you, Franklin,” she murmured. I shifted on my foot before I stepped back.

“Bomber,” he spoke, turning to look at her. He looked down at her, his eyes telling her to leave. I only know that because Bomber (I suppose that’s her name) gathered her things and quickly left the alley. “Sorry, now where were we, Sunshine?”

“Your friend seems nice,” I muttered, looking away from him for a brief moment. Franklin scoffed out a laugh before shaking his head.

“She’s not a friend, just a teammate,” his voice was low as he brought a hand back to my face. Part of me was expecting him to be gentle, and I’m not really sure why I thought that. So when he jerked my head back up to look at him, I was left in shock. “But, that wasn’t where we left off. Bomber’s gone now,” he dropped his head down and looked at me through his eyelashes.

“Which means we’re alone now,” I whispered as I kept my eyes on him. He smiled and nodded lightly before bringing my face closer to his.

“Now you’re getting it,” he returned the whisper before harshly pressing his lips to mine. I couldn’t help but moan as he pulled me closer to his body. It was so hard to keep my focus on the world around us. My knees carefully buckled beneath me. If it weren’t for Franklin, I probably would have fallen to the ground. He stood his ground firm, like he was a brick wall in the wind, keeping me upright as I almost fell to the ground.

He moved his face away from mine, but we were still close enough to feel each other’s breath. Franklin moved his free hand to my hip before carefully pushing it past the waistband of my pants. My body shifted slightly, trying to get more of his touch against me.

“The… The door,” I whispered, my eyes going to the door. Although, I truthfully didn’t care too much about the door and it being unlocked. The bowling alley closes in 5 minutes anyways.

“Who cares about the fucking door,” he muttered. I instantly looked back at him, feeling a whimper work its way out of my mouth. Franklin smiled as he moved his hand against the flimsy cotton blocking his hand from where I wanted it most.

“Please,” I whispered, moving my hips against his hand. I hated the way he smiled. Mostly because it only further turned me on.

“Ohh, you’re such a needy slut. So wet and I’ve barely done anything,” he whispered as he squeezed my cheeks again. “You’ll get what you want, in due time,” he smiled. He pushed my underwear to the side and carefully moved his fingers between my folds. I couldn’t help myself as I ground down on his hand.

“Franklin,” I whimpered, my eyebrows furrowing slightly. He smirked, watching as I struggled for a moment. His finger slowly moving around the sensitive bud at the apex of my legs. My hands quickly held his arms, I was worried I’d fall if I didn’t hold onto him. My legs and knees became more and more wobbly as time passed.

“Don’t cum till I tell you you can, Pretty Girl,” he whispered and pouted, “how about you open that pretty little mouth of yours, Sunshine,” he whispered, moving one of his hands to rest on my chin. I widened my eyes and took a deep breath.

I kept my eyes on him, a shaky breath leaving me, as I slowly opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out. Franklin smiled slightly before holding my cheeks and spitting right onto my tongue. He nudged my mouth shut, forcing me to hold his spit in my mouth for a moment. I had to force myself not to gag as I held his spit before swallowing it.

“What a good little whore,” Franklin cooed, cocking his head to his shoulder. I took a shaky breath as his movements in my pants picked up pace. “You enjoyed that, didn’t you?” his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at me. I wanted to have a snarky reply, I really did. But I swear to god, my mouth and body betrayed me because an honest to god moan came from me.

“Oh, you certainly did enjoy that,” he laughed as his movements in between my legs quickened. I looked up at him with wide eyes as a familiar tension grew in my abdomen.

But instead of saying anything else, he just put his mouth over mine, swallowing whatever sounds emitted from my mouth. He smiled, clearly enjoying my mild suffering.

My body struggled to move, almost missing the sign of Franklin moving. On wobbly legs, my feet carried me backwards, and with Franklin's guidance, up the steps. My arms were wrapped around his neck to keep close to him.

I was so close, I could feel the tension about to snap within me. The noises that were coming from me were becoming more desperate the closer I got to the snap. Franklin didn't seem bothered by my sounds at all. In fact, he was amused.

He was so amused, that when he pulled his hands from my pants and pushed me over the counter, he laughed when I cried out. I wasn't sure the sound was from annoyance from him stopping, or from shock from being pushed down over the counter. His hand was firmly placed on my back, keeping me in place.

“What was that for!?” I shouted, trying to stand back up, only to be forced back down by Franklin, “You better do something better than leaving me high and dry! I swear to God!” I shouted as I wiggled my butt into his crotch. A certain hardness pressed into my butt and leg, causing me (and Franklin) to hold back a groan. Franklin’s hand was still around my waist, planted firmly on my hip to hold me against him. “Please, just fuck me already! Fuck!” I shifted my feet a bit and tightly pressed my thighs.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Franklin laughed as he shoved his knee between my legs, blocking his foot between mine to keep my legs apart more, “If you’re going to finish, you’re gonna finish on my cock. You got that, Sunshine?” he groaned as he pressed his front into my butt more. I bit my lips together, nodded and whined, hoping that was a good enough answer. “Uh huh, use your words, Sunshine. Do you understand that?” he asked as he leaned closer to my ear.

“Yes! Yes, I understand! Please,” I whimpered as his grip loosened on my hip and moved to the button of my jeans. I let out a deep relieved sigh as my jeans fell to the ground around my ankles. Although my moment of relief and excitement was cut short by a loud crack in the air, and a sudden pain on my bottom.

“Fuck!” I gasped once I finally regained the ability to talk and breathe. My chest began heaving as my body started to get more worked up. The sudden smack on my ass went straight to my core, causing me to involuntarily moan. Franklin laughed lightly, and I could just see him shaking his head in amusement.

“What do you want, Sunshine?” Franklin asked, his voice low, lower than before. I swallowed roughly before lifting my head slightly.

“Fuck me,” I whispered, trying hard to look over my shoulder at him. His glasses were slipping down his nose, and his hair was covering his eyes. His tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth and swept across his lower lip.

“Wrong,” he muttered before striking my butt again. A pleased shriek fell from my lips as I dropped my head down to the counter. “What do you want,”

“Franklin, please,” my words were soft as my breathing got rougher, “Fuck me, please, do… Do whatever you-you want… To me,” my statement was punctuated by another strike on my ass. A mix of a cry and a moan escaped my lips as he gently rubbed the sore spot on my bottom. But it was only a moment before he smacked my other butt cheek.

“Do it again! Please,” I pulled my lower lip between my teeth. I waited for his hand to make contact with my bare bottom again, but instead, I got nothing. I sucked in a deep breath before letting out a soft whimper, “Please,” I begged as I swayed my hips slightly from side to side. I hoped my begging would have given me what I wanted. But at this point, I’m not sure what I wanted more, to be fucked by him, or to be spanked by him over, and over again.

After he spanked my butt for the 6th time, Franklin’s hand grazed over each cheek before lightly dragging his fingers over my core.

“You’re so wet, Sunshine,” he whispered as he moved his fingers over my cunt. Any response I thought I had gone out the window when he pushed two fingers into my entrance. So, I guess my response came in as a moan. “Fuck,” he groaned with pleasure.

I was in trouble. He knew that too. The way he was playing with me, toying with me to get even the slightest reaction. Trying to get me as close as possible, without actually getting me over the edge. But whenever he curled his fingers just right, or just slightly touched my clit.

“I-I’m so close,” I cried, my body moving closer to him. Franklin laughed again as he pulled his hand away from my body. This was the first time tonight that he wasn’t touching me. His hands were away from me, and as I tried to move closer to him I found nothing.

“Stay still, I want to remember this moment,” Franklin muttered as he rested a hand on my lower back, “Are you ready, Sunshine,” he asked, his tone seemed gentle. I swallowed roughly and nodded.

“Mmm-hmm, yes,” I nodded, feeling my hair move around before finally falling around my face. My body shivered as the sound of his zipper went down. And my body jerked once his hands were on my hips.

I folded my arms on the counter. But what I should have done was brace myself against it in a better way. My body’s excitement was getting the better of me, and I could feel myself stray from the counter, and slowly towards his body.

“Stay still,” he muttered as he pushed me closer to the counter. My lungs ceased to function as I felt him rub the head of his cock against my slit. I choked back a moan and pressed my lips together. And then he slowly began pushing into my entrance.

“Oh god,” I cried, pressing my face into my arms.

“Name’s Franklin, but God works just fine,” he laughed behind me as he slowed his entrance. I gasped as he stopped, before slamming fully into me in one go. I couldn’t stop the shout that came from the pit of my stomach.

Once we were both used to each other, he started moving, his hips quickly finding a rhythm we were both pleased with. The silent room was quickly occupied by the grunts or moans from its only two occupants, and the sound of skin hitting skin.

I slowly lifted my head, looking out at the bowling alley. Is it bad that I didn’t think that this was weird or bad? That I was being fucked over the counter by a guy I just met? What would my grandfather think if he ever knew about this? Good thing he was never going to find out.

Franklin wrapped my hair around his hand before pulling me back up so my back was flush against his chest. His movements stilled, his hips pressed against mine as he stayed totally in me. My body froze like ice as I tried to take a deep breath. My senses were suddenly overwhelmed, and I honestly loved it.

“Fuck,” I cried, pushing my hips against him to get some sort of relief. But I only groaned as he wrapped an arm around my waist to keep me still as well. “Please,”

“So greedy, so filthy,” Franklin groaned as he buried himself deeper into me. I whimpered as I bit my lips. The bitter, metallic taste of blood found its way to my tastebuds. “How does that feel? Does it feel good,” his voice was so low, nearly a growl in my ear. I sucked in a deep breath of air, slowly turning my face to look at him. “Just holding my cock in you?” he asked before pressing his lips harshly to the side of my face.

“I… I do…” I spoke quickly and in a harsh whisper. My muscles clenched around him, wanting something to give me help for my finish. While Franklin kept his lips pressed to the side of my face, while his hands were otherwise preoccupied. One hand was holding one of my breasts, gently kneading at it. While the other was between my legs, slowly moving around my sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, please move,” I whimpered, pressing my shoulder into his shoulder a bit more. Franklin removed his hand from my chest before gently pushing me back over the counter. I let out a pleased moan once he started moving his hips again. It only took a matter of moments before the tension in me snapped, sending me over the edge. My vision turned white, and my hands balled into fists, my nails would cause indentations in my palms once my hands relaxed.

And, after a few more faulty thrusts into me, Franklin finished close behind me. His body hunched over mine, his hands holding himself up on the counter beside me. Neither of us wanted to move, still trying to calm down from what just happened. But also, the mess to follow once he finally stepped away from me.

“I didn’t know I needed that,” I truthfully stated. Franklin laughed before standing upright. I’d be lying if I said I wanted him to step away from me. So when he eventually did, I held back the whimper.

“Paper towels?” he asked as he fixed himself back into his pants. I swallowed roughly as I blindly pointed towards where I was cleaning the rental bowling shoes. He stepped away from me, going to grab the things he sought after.

The mixture of the two of us slowly leaked down my inner thigh, and I just knew that mess would not be fun to clean, now or later. When Franklin returned and wiped a damp paper towel up my thigh, I jumped.

“Did you enjoy that?” I asked as he helped me stand up straight. My legs and knees were so shaky, I almost fell. He wrapped his arms around me to keep me upright. I only struggled a little bit to pull my jeans and underwear back up, but I was very relieved when they were back around my waist.

“I had a great time,” he laughed. I swallowed roughly before stepping back away from him. I hoisted myself up so I was sitting on the counter, only to let out a sharp cry and jump off the counter. How the fuck did I forget about the pain on my ass?

“Did it feel like winning?” I asked, feeling a smile grow on my lips. Franklin looked up at me with a sly smile, cocking his head to his shoulder.

“I always win in this bowling alley, Sunshine,” he muttered as he stared at me. I blinked slowly. “Except for that one time. But every time after… Always a win,”

if you want to be a part of a taglist or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here

#shadow posts stuff #shadow writes stuff #franklin #franklin smut #franklin fanfiction #franklin fanfic #franklin x reader #beginners luck #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gray gubler smut #masterlist

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noverturemusings · 3 years

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Masterlist

I mostly made this for me for convenience’s sake but it should also make navigating the blog easier for anyone viewing it.

The Main Fic:

1. In the face of your light [Read on AO3]

An m!solavellan time-travel fix-it longfic with a large focus on characterisation and lots of mystery (and a talking raven). Any time a question gets answered, a different question is raised. It’s like a matryoshka doll. Filled with angst and heart-warming moments alike. Possibly falls under the hopepunk category?

2. Three points of a constellation [Read on AO3]

Part 2 of the main story. The return of an old friend calls into question everything that everyone thought they knew about the world.

3. A tapestry of stars [Read on AO3]

A collection of side stories, mostly in Solas’ POV, but also includes POV from others within the inner circle. Not required to understand the story but definitely adds to it.

Discord Server

Noverture’s Emporium of Angst

Art Tag:

Chapter art (All drawn by @cdraconik)

General art

Fanfics:

Yeah, fanfics of a fanfic. My mind is blown to this day. These fics are massive spoilers for chapter 71 onwards though, so I’d steer clear of these if you’re not caught up.

1. ClearAutumnVibes

Nothing Gold Can Stay - Centred on three characters and their relationship with one another (Angst)

Starlight, star bright, will you bloom for me tonight? - A constellation AU in which spirits are stars/constellations and the Evanuris are planets (Angst)

Triumvirate - Focused on the three characters once again. Actually all of these fanfics are focused on this trio (lovingly referred to as the Sad Elf Sandwich by readers) (Fluff)

In a Kingdom by the Sea - A Little Mermaid AU of the Sad Elf Sandwich (Angst + Tragedy)

2. Alasnirelan_Lavellan

Something in my heart, some secret hidden part, illogically insists you are there, somewhere - A happy ending AU for the Sad Elf Sandwich because apparently I’m mean and Alasnirelan took matters into their own hands haha (Angst with a happy ending)

Wishes are Dreams, and Dreams are pretend - An alternate ending of the happy ending AU. There is only pain. (Angst. No happy ending. None. Zero. Only pain. It may be payback against me)

Are You, Are You Coming To The Tree? - Alasnirelan’s rendition of Solas’ POV after chapter 93 (Angst + Hurt/Comfort)

We go together (Like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong) - Incorrect quotes

3. raven4138

I Dreamed a Dream - Sad Elf Sandwich again. A happy dream that swan dives into nightmare and pain (Fluff + Angst)

4. LunartheDragon (@lunarthedragon)

Forgotten but Never Gone - An AU that changes an event in chapter 84 and causes the entire narrative to head towards a new direction. The false gods’ lies are revealed and the empire’s supposed enemies become its saviours. Featuring more lore expansion and new characters. (Some angst + Found Family + Happy Ending)

Screencaps:

Mahanon Lavellan

Ras’virelan

Playlists:

Main playlist

(Spoilery playlist - don’t open until you’re caught up to Chapter 58. Or open it, idk, I can’t tell you what to do)

Miscellaneous Tags:

Song Recommendations - a few people have sent me song recs for the playlist so might as well put it here

Asks

Itfoyl insp - quotes/poems that I think aligns with the story’s themes/events/imagery

Moodboard

Fashion

Anyway, that’s it I think. Much better, look at that, all organised. This was a totally necessary and successful use of my time. Procrastination who? No, couldn’t be me, wouldn’t do that

#masterlist #making this at 2am instead of sleeping? couldn't be me #solavellan #m!solavellan #dragon age

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suits-of-woe · 5 years

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Hi! Multiples of 4 for Edmund on the headcanon ask??? Thank you so much!❤️

Thank you!!! I know I never shut up about my boy, thank you for continuing to enable me. This is gonna be really, really long I can’t wait…

I’ll tag @princess-of-france too :)

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

I don’t really feel like Edmund cooks. He’s practical but he’s also rich and has better things to do, so I imagine his diet is like 50% black coffee and energy bars he keeps stashed around the house and 50% super expensive meals he manages to make other people pay for. So in that case he’d probably just eat one of the aforementioned energy bars (or ask some even-richer woman out to dinner for the night, cause he’s like that).

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

Oh man. Sex. SO much sex. To the point where it’s a legitimate problem, even though he doesn’t see it as one. The thing is, I don’t think he’s super pro-indulgence as a rule – in fact, he probably looks down on people who don’t have good self-control, especially when it comes to things that are proven to be bad, like over-eating or smoking or things like that. But sex doesn’t fall into that category for him, all the reasons he’s been told to avoid it he sees as moralist bullshit, and it’s fun and it’s not hurting anyone so fuck you, why shouldn’t he do it? The issue is deep down sex is also a huge coping mechanism for him, and the only way he knows how to deal with his intense obsession with affection without just 100% repressing it all the time or, worse, being emotionally vulnerable. But I don’t think he realizes how much it’s become a psychological need for him, and how hard it would be to stop. It’s not that he couldn’t stop, he’d say. It’s just that stopping is exactly what all those moralist assholes he hates would want him to do, so why should he?

12. Favorite book genre?

Edgy social commentary probs. I don’t picture Edmund really being the type to read much fiction, but at the same time, I think certain books mean a lot to him. He’s spent his whole life concealing his controversial views on religion, fate, society, sex, basically everything from Gloucester (and to a lesser extent Edgar) in favor of putting on the guise of a perfect traditionally moral son so I think being able to deal with all those hidden ideas through reading about then would really help. He’s probably got a whole hidden stash somewhere in his room he knows his father will never find.

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

His biggest long term goal is just to rise to the top as much as he can. I don’t think he’s the kind of person who likes to set limits on his own ambition – he looks at opportunities one step at a time, but if the doors keep opening, who is he to stop? If he can be Gloucester’s heir? Great. If he can overthrow Gloucester entirely? Better. If he can become king? Best of all, but hell, even then he might not stop. Smallest? Ummm idk maybe get his space totally organized. I feel like he’s the kind of person whose organization never quite catches up with his work, and he always says he’s got better things to do than shuffle papers around, but it secretly kind of drives him crazy so he’d like to be totally neat someday.

20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

I imagine Edmund has always been pretty robust and healthy (unlike Edgar, probably) and never really got sick that often, even as a kid. That said, on the rare occasion that he did, I think it was a really bad time for him. Cause like I’ve talked about a million times I think Edmund is very driven by his constant deep need for affection, but it’s the kind of thing he can usually repress on a day-to-day basis as long as all his inhibitions are intact. When they aren’t intact, 9 times out of 10 it’s because he’s drunk/high, which is almost always in some kind of party setting, which means he’s pretty much guaranteed to be able to find someone to at least make out with for a bit to make those feelings go away. But if he’s sick enough to be feverish, it’s pretty much the only time he’s both emotionally uninhibited and unable to use sex as a coping mechanism, and it doesn’t go well. Plus with Edgar being more fragile (and, in my headcanon, his mother dying from sickness at an early age too) Gloucester pretty much keeps all members of the family away from him for fear of anything spreading, so he’s pretty much all alone and left with all that unadulterated loneliness he’s not used to feeling half this much and it’s bad. It’s really bad. He tries not to think about it.

24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

He’s honestly ahead of the curve in pretty much every subject. He’s a brilliant silver-tongued wordsmith, he’s a super logic and evidence-driven thinker which I think would make him great at math and science, he’s athletic too, and just generally sharp and good at picking up new things. The only thing I think he’d be bad at is any interpretation of art (and to a lesser extent literature) because I think he’d get too frustratingly literal about it – it’s just lines on a page, dammit, it doesn’t mean anything, people will try to find patterns out of anything but the real world is meaningless and there’s nothing really there. In terms of what interests him the most though, it’s politics, which is what drives him insane because that’s the one thing he’ll never be allowed to pursue.

28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Depends on the era of his life. I don’t think he has anyone he considers even a real friend, let alone a best friend, when we see him in the play. When he was younger he would have said Edgar, but that ship sailed a long time ago. Now, he doesn’t really do genuine friendship. There are people he likes, but no one he wouldn’t throw under the bus in a heartbeat if that’s what it took. Similarly, I think he tries not to see anyone as his worst enemy. It’s the world that’s his enemy, and society, and it’s a matter of a lot more than taking down one person to beat that. But really, I think it’s Gloucester he hates more than anyone. That part of the plan is more personal than he’d probably admit.

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

He’s not big on them…until they become something he can’t have. Like he’s certainly not the overly-sentimental type to hang onto things he doesn’t need, and I think he sees a lot of material wealth and status symbols as really inherently shallow. But the second those shallow wealth and status symbols are denied him, or used to mark him as lesser, then he’ll be damned if he’s not getting his hands on them if it’s the last thing he does.

36. What makes them feel guilty?

People actually loving and respecting him on their own, not because he manipulated them or did them favors or somehow cheated to get their approval. So much of how he justifies everything he does is the fact that, as a bastard, he thinks he’ll never have half a shot at the advantages everyone else gets, so if he wants anyone to approve of him or admire him or show him affection he has to manipulate the hell out of them (or the situation in general) to get it. He’s convinced himself it’s the only way, so when that’s proven wrong, it rocks his world. There’s a reason “Yet Edmund was belov’d” comes the line before finally changes his mind and tries to do something good.

40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

Both? One? Or neither? Neither can be en- just kidding it’s BOTH and it’s a problem. He’s been looked down on his entire life for being a bastard and that cuts deep, it always has, no matter how hard he tries to shrug it off. He’ll never really get rid of the idea that he’s lesser, or at least everyone considers him lesser, so he has to claw his way to every bit of advantage and approval he can get. But he also really believes that birth means nothing, that merit and intelligence and survival of the fittest should determine who rises to the top, and in that respect…he maybe overcompensated. Because he also manages to be a raging narcissist who thinks he’s smarter than everyone around him (to be fair, he mostly is) and is entitled to anything he can win for himself.

44. Religion?

MY EDGY ATHEIST KING. I think he’s super anti-religion, and anti-spirituality even more so – just anything that involves people blaming their fates or their decisions on forces out of their control or pretending like anything is just “meant to be” makes him incredibly angry. That does fall under the category of things he won’t admit to preserve his image though, he’ll grit his teeth through whatever religious proceedings are required of him if it’s to his advantage.

48. How do they express love?

Ummm badly? He craves other people’s love constantly, but him actually being the one feeling Real Love isn’t something he’s really prepared to deal with, and it kind of makes him freak out. By the time he’s really headed down the road of executing his plans, I think the main way he expresses love is by trying to get the people he loves far, far away from him and this world and his path of destruction. On a more general note though like I said in that post I made a while ago I think his main love language is physical touch, so when he’s not in such a dark place that either results in lots of hugs or lots of sex depending on the person.

#at this point i'm not even gonna apologize for my inability to be succinct #if you follow me you know what you're getting into by now #you've brought me upon yourself #anyway GUESS WHO'S TALKING ABOUT HIM™ AGAIN #these were so fun #i still don't have a specific universe idea for all my lear headcanons so these are like half modern half play accurate half idek #but these are my thoughts on him in general #edmund #king lear #mine #asks

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solarheiress · 6 years

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Why I’m starting to not want to watch the new Miraculous episode

So this turned out way longer than i hoped despite all the stuff I skipped so to save lives and to save people who use different tags then me, there are so major ml spoilers down below so I’m gonna do this!

I’ll start this off by saying I’m not really a fan of either Luka or Kagami, like, in general. I don’t really like love triangles (especially ones that seem unecessary/ones that only really serve one character), and Miraculous was bad enough with the love square which thanks to those two has now evolved into a weird 3 dimensional shape that I don’t want to think about. (Also I get kinda annoyed when characters- male or female- are introduced with their only purpose as being the love interest, which is how it’s felt thus far) I also in general am not a fan of their actual characters. No deep analysis, putting aside any involvement in the relationships and all that and just looking at them, I don’t really like them. To be fair, we don’t know much about them so that could change. I like certain things about them, and I think I like Luka a bit more, but to explain why would take a really long post and I’m trying to make a point.

In terms of how they relate to everyone else, I really am not a fan of Kagami. I do actually have a reason, it’s a long one so I’ll try to sum it up briefly. Basically, it’s mostly because, well, I mean, she’s like Marinette. Way too much like Marinette. Luka is kinda laid back and he’s pretty kind, and looks kind of like chat actually, in terms of their hairstyle and as far as I can tell, that’s it (so far).

Honestly it’s more of a disservice to Kagami’s character than anything. She looks like Marinette, colour scheme and all, and (in my interpretation of her at least) she’s pretty straightforward, in a way ladybug tries to be without compromising her identity. Now this is where things get a little.... tense, so bear with me.

I’ve seen a lot of different interpretations of the episode and they seem to fall into distinct categories. Aka, “Kagami is a bitch” or “Kagami is right about everything stfu” and this is where I don’t want watch. I really don’t want to know. I don’t want to interpret. Don’t get me wrong I know everything that happened thanks to tumblr users inability to tag, but it’s all very biased descriptions of the same events. Truthfully, I think everyone focused on the wrong character, but I can address that later, let’s talk about Kagami.

Keep in mind this is based on the multiple interpretations I’ve seen, not on the actual episode (usually not the way I do things but I got annoyed so here we are).

Basically, Kagami delivered two very good pieces of advice. Very bluntly. And I don’t think that was a good idea. I don’t think they should have both come from her (especially considering one of those lines was to Marinette, but that’s who kagami is). It’s totally in line with her character, and her direct attitude. So to all people claiming she was acting ooc, that term applies only to fan fiction, where an author has misinterpreted another authors work. This does not apply to content produced by the original creator. She is acting just as she should be, the issue is that you’ve built a persona off very limited character information and this episode does not line up with your head canon.

So, this episode definitely presents the idea that Kagami is direct, even in situations when it is inappropriate for her to do so (such as addressing someone she doesn’t know very well). She is also very assured in her own deductive abilities and her own assumptions. It’s good and bad, she’s confident, but your strengths can also be your weaknesses at times. This is what we call character development.

The main issue I have with this whole scenario is that every interpretation I’ve seen mentioned something similar. Something that is neither surprising or disappointing. Someone else acted completely in character in this episode, and that would be Adrien. The fan’s favourite son. Honestly, the entire conflict with Kagami, and whether or not people like her should really be directed at that boy. I don’t give a damn about whether or not Kagami is good, or bad, what bothers me is that Kagami has a lot of traits similar to Marinette. If we compare Adrien to Luka, they’re both nice and friendly. Marinette is drawn to both of them, by that similar kindness. On the other hand, Kagami looks like Marinette, and thus, looks like Ladybug. She acts similarly to ladybug in someways, and similar to Marinette in others. My main concern is the playing out of a trope I’ve seen too many times. A main character (usually male) falls head over heels to someone who is startlingly familiar to the endgame love interest(ELI). But in reality, the whole time, they’re projecting their feelings for the ELI onto this convenient eerily similar side character, and leaves them broken hearted for the ELI. The side character is left under developed, under appreciated, and despised by the fans for “nearly breaking up a perfect couple” and Yada yada.

So, basically, is Adrien projecting his feelings for Ladybug onto Kagami or does he actually like her. Is he unintentionally using her as someone to bear an emotional burden with him? Even when he was technically there with her in the first place, was she really his focus? He switched from being rejected by ladybug to giving Kagami a flower so quickly, is he trying to get back at ladybug? Is he even aware of what he’s doing? Is any of this healthy?

No one is asking any of these questions. Everyone’s just yelling about Kagami.

I know if I watch the episode myself, I’ll land in one of four categories. Either, A, Omg Kagami was a bitch, B, lord Kagami was amazing and right, or C, yikes I was right yikes yikes yikes or D WTF this episode is so much more than the drama surrounding Kagami what is wrong with everyone

And honestly, I don’t want my brain to be there, so much so that on top of not watching I’m literally considering blacklisting Kagami tags for a few days so I won’t see any more arguing or complaining. (Also, just Kagami, not anyone else, because no ones talking about literally anything else).

(Also side note, I’ve gotten close to, like, ZERO info on Luka aside from a few parts where you couldn’t miss him, like when he was trying to help Marinette up. Idk if he’s actually mostly in the background or just being majorly under appreciated, but it took me FOREVER to figure out how he even ended up with them all in the first place, which is a yikes)

#ml spoilers #miraculous ladybug spoilers #yikes yikes yikes #ml kagami #ml luka #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste

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sloblesbian · 6 years

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been doing a new years resolution & reflection post every year since 2014 so im gonna continue that trend.

personally this was a really great year for me. it’s very weird. things are objectively bad. if you think too much about the future things start to fall apart. there isn’t anything to rely on, outside of my own ability, and that’s limited in what i can do without support. but. it’s not hopeless. i dream a lot of finally graduating and getting a job that will keep me more than just barely afloat, and of what that could mean for me... i won’t graduate for at least 2 year (i need 56 more credits-- i think after 2 years i’ll have 2 more classes to get in, unless i manage either some summer courses or 2 semesters of 5 classes, both of which are unlikely) and even then i know finding a job is hard. theoretically i could start now but i find it difficult to work 30 hours a week and go to school. i’m also afraid that i might make less at an entry level job than at my current job... but maybe this summer i will apply at some bookstores & libraries.

also... i really love my girlfriend. she’s coming to stay with me for 2 weeks in march and i am so excited. it’s been a good year for us. every day i talk to her and she really understands and like, gets me you know? i am amazed and i fall in love some more.

also i accomplished a ton in 2017. maybe not the things i set out to (i finished 1 sock that i started last november, lol, and the only short stories i read were a few online and for school) but i transferred to RIC. i only took 2 classes because i couldnt register till june but i got As in both of them and my gpa is a 4.0 which has never happened in my LIFE. i’m excited about the classes i’m starting this month, and after i finish spanish & anthropology i should only have english classes from then on out. i wouldn’t say i love my current job but it’s miles better than working in retail. it’s less stressful and while i’m generally working less hours i am making a little bit more. it feels necessary & helpful as opposed to being in an endless capitalism machine that only exists to grind me down for unreasonable standards.

but i did read 100 books which was real touch & go for a while.. the first couple months of 2017 i barely read & felt like i had lost my ability to plow thru a ton of books, then the middle of the year i caught up & jumped ahead... fell behind, etc. i finished my last book on the 28th though. i read a lot of comics; my page count for this year is way down, but it doesn’t matter. that’s still damn impressive.

and for things i didn’t plan at all but still accomplished: i wrote 4 pieces of fiction this year. i mean. they’re all fanfiction, which isn’t really something i even read never mind write, which i think is maybe??? sort of even more impressive? i’m going to try and write some original stuff in the coming year but like. right after nanowrimo, my friends and i, who were previously in the fictional coalition of writers who don’t write, uh, all started writing. which is great. but i mean. i started writing in february? march? i wrote a 10k word fic, and then a short follow up, a short pjo thing, and i wrote another 6000 words this month but it’s not on ao3 cause it’s like... a complementary piece to something that isn’t finished yet, lol. overall about 20k words which isn’t too much in the long run but i like that i wrote 4 completed pieces. it’s nice because i had sort of let myself give up on writing because... i mostly don’t enjoy it. i don’t like scrounging for ideas. but i do like planning things out enough, outlining what i want to happen, and then writing the whole thing. it’s like writing a list and then accomplishing it which... as u know, i love. as far as i can tell uhh most people don’t need to do this. i really have to know like. the end trajectory of a piece before i start writing. i don’t have to know every detail but if i am confused to where it’s going i can’t write it. i’m not great at ideas but i am good at making things happen. it feels nice to accomplish something creative, when i basically haven’t since i uhhh dropped out of art school.

also, i wrote 47 reviews, which, damn! i (read: my bff & roommate mags) put up a new website, even if it is going to come down this month (i think. i wanna transfer everything first) and i wrote a review nearly every week and a lot of them were good. like. that’s a lot of writing, between fiction & what have u, what category do my dumb reviews fall under.

(FOOD/DIET warning i dont wanna put it in the tags of the post just skip this paragraph) oh also i cut dairy & eggs (& also gelatin & honey, i guess) out of my diet, & i feel very very good about it (also i think i lost something like 20 lbs-- i don’t weigh myself but uhhh thats good thats very good). when i stopped eating meat in 2010 i lived with my mom & my intention was to one day go vegan but like... i didn’t want to put the strain on her & also i sometimes struggle with food things. but it’s gone really well. it’s nice. feel good. love to cook. very good at it.

so like...... a really good year for me. here’s what i want out of 2018

i’m cutting my reading goal down specifically because i don’t think it’s something that can grow exponentially and i think the main reason i was able to accomplish it was because i didn’t have too much school this year. when i started setting goals for myself in 2012 my original goal was 50 books; that’s what we’re going back to.

every year (except 2016 when i was realistic) i told myself i would read more short stories & knit more. i’m hoping that having less to read (which i prioritize over all other hobbies) will give me more time. also i have a desk & a chair set up which... idk... helps? i put some knitting stuff there & grafted the toe of a sock the other day, so i hope it does, at least. i read a short story yesterday so i hope that’s a portent for 2018. i want to finish the time travelers almanac at least. i have a lot of collections and i do enjoy them. it’s just easier to get through novels than anything else.

if u follow my twitter you have probably heard me say this but: 2018 is the year of the video game for me. im, uh, terrible at games- im fairly certain i have dyspraxia, at least mildly (im wildly, wildly uncoordinated)- but for a while i was playing a few because i had done it enough that i had gotten better..... well, this year i played persona 5, which i really loved like. more than any video game in a long time. i know a lot of people were disappointed with aspects of it (rightly so) but i had never played another persona game so i think that probably shaped my opinion some, and also, i think p5 dealt with issues that i really love to see in fiction & generally don’t, even if it ultimately dropped the ball. anyway. it kind of revitalized my interest, and i want to play more. i have p4 that i want to get through. i never finished usum. i have a bunch of games on steam & mags let me sign into their steam library too & they have about 400 games (thats not an exaggeration). i wanna replay me2&3 for sid. i want to practice so i can play games that are more difficult than i usually do. (mass effect being the sole fps i can play, usually i can only play very linear rpgs (think pokemon & dragon age) and uhhh puzzle games, god i love puzzle games)

so, more concretely:

read 50 books

try to read more short stories

knit more

play video games

do well in school

that sounds good. happy new year.

#year in review #diary tag #long post

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cogham · 7 years

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throws confetti up real high

i’m feeling v inexplicably sad all of a sudden and uh. idk what to do with myself but i wanna write something but i don’t wanna work on depressing fanfic mmmm

but i was helping a friend out with editing a fic of hers the other day (it’s rlly good omg if u guys like attack on titan read the first chapter here) mostly helping with grammar and stuff and?? she’s a rlly good writer so all the corrections/suggestions i was making were kinda obscure grammar rules nobody ever teaches formally and i thought that was interesting to see so mmm

going off about grammar makes me happy so here’s Some Obscure Grammar Rules U Should Kno that nobody ever seems to teach and also a couple tips n tricks i personally keep in mind when workin on shit okay here we go

(tagging the writer pals @j4m-ch4n & @t3f3r since i know u guys said u like writing tips and that’s kinda all i’m good for pfft so yeah)

1. Verb tense consistency:

This is one of those things that falls under the this-is-how-we-speak-but-isn’t-how-we’re-supposed-to-write category. When speaking, lots of times you’ll interchange the tenses of the verbs in a sentence, and though it doesn’t look or sound inherently wrong, it’s actually “incorrect.” (I always have to triple check my writing for this one cus it’s super easy to overlook, and even then I only catch it maybe a third of the time, pfft.)

Essentially, the rule here is that you want to maintain the same tense among all the verbs used in a single sentence. That may seem like a “well, yeah, duh,” sorta thing, but it’s actually not something you ever really notice unless you’re actively looking for it. Or, at least, it isn’t for me.

So here’s an example sentence:

She turned down the corridor and began running towards the exit.

Outwardly, nothing seems wrong with that. It makes sense, it looks right, it sounds right, but the verb tense agreement is still off. Turned is past tense, while running is present tense. You wanna maintain the same tense among verbs within a single sentence, so the sentence (assuming it’s meant to be in past tense) should be rewritten as:

She turned down the corridor and ran towards the exit.

In that case, both turned and ran are past tense, so the verb tenses remain consistent.

2. Quotes within sentences:

This one is only easy for me because I learned it when I was super young, but looking at the rule from a logical standpoint, it honestly doesn’t make a lot of sense. But, I mean, neither do a lot of English grammar rules, pfft.

Basically, you wanna treat quotes as a part of a sentence rather than as their own thing. I’m… actually struggling to think of a way to explain this correctly without giving an explanation audibly, hmph.

I guess it can be broken into three components, though. Which are:

a. If a sentence doesn’t stop at the end of a quote, don’t end the quote with a period.

b. If a sentence doesn’t stop at the end of a quote, even if the quote ends in punctuation such as an exclamation point or a question mark, don’t capitalise the first letter of the rest of the sentence following the quote.

c. If a sentence does end with a quote, only then do you end the quote with a period and capitalise the first letter of the word following the quote.

Here’s an example of part a of this rule done incorrectly:

“Leave him alone.” he said angrily.

Even though that is the speaker’s entire quote, since the written sentence doesn’t end there, you don’t put a period at the end of the speaker’s sentence. The correct way to write it would be:

“Leave him alone,” he said angrily.

The easiest way to check to make sure you’re doing this right is to remove the quotation marks, then read the sentence in your head with exaggerated stress on the punctuation marks and see if it still makes sense. You wouldn’t read the sentence like, “Leave him alone. [full stop] He said angrily.” You would read it as, “Leave him alone, [pause] he said angrily.

Even in cases where, say, a character is saying each word of their phrase with a ton of emphasis — like, if they’re trying to sound super threatening, or something like that — you still need to end with a comma. For example, an incorrect way to write a hostile sentence would be:

“Leave. Him. Alone.” he said.

To do it correctly, you would still need to write it as:

“Leave. Him. Alone,” he said.

Totally detracts from the hostility, which is super lame, but that’s the correct way to do it. (Uh, read the note at the end of this section for a tip on avoiding having the mood swung by a lame grammar rule.)

Here’s an example of part b of this rule done incorrectly:

“Leave him alone!” He said angrily.

Even though, yes, it is grammatically correct to capitalise anything that comes after an exclamation point, since that is not the end of the sentence, the correct way to write it would be:

“Leave him alone!” he said angrily.

You can check this one using the same read-it-with-exaggerated-punctuation trick listed above.

Part c has to do completely with that read-it-with-exaggerated-punctuation trick. Lots of times, sentences within paragraphs are ended by quotes; and, in those cases, you do want to follow the quote with a capital letter. Here’s an example of using this part of the rule correctly:

“Leave him alone.” He said this with anger in his tone.

With stressed punctuation, you would read it as, “ ‘Leave him alone.’ [full stop] He said this with anger in his tone.”

Another way to think of it is, “leave him alone” and “he said this with anger in his tone” are both their own sentences, so the first letter of each gets capitalised.

Essentially, just treat quotes as part of the sentence as a whole rather than as their own entity existing within the sentence.

A creative tip from me for this rule:

Lots of times, a period can radically change the speaker’s tone, so they’re good to use if you want to indicate a character’s mood. If a character is being threatening, for example, having their phrase end with a comma — while grammatically correct, yes — can detract from the hostility. If you want to get around this, just rewrite the sentence the way that I did when describing part c of this rule: in two separate sentences. It’s a very easy edit to make, and will make a read much more dramatic.

3. Creating compound (hyphenated) adjectives.

This one is tricky, and I still fuck it up all the damn time. Basically, it has to do with adjectives that are made up of two or more words — adjectives such as “well-functioning,” “foul-smelling,” or “flesh-eating.”

The rule here is, if you’re treating two or more words as a single adjective, you want to hyphenate them. You can check to see if they should be hyphenated by excluding the rest of the sentence other than the noun which the adjective is describing, then removing one of the words and seeing if the sentence still makes sense.

Here’s an example sentence:

He was attacked by flesh-eating insects.

The adjective in this sentence is “flesh-eating,” so you would hyphenate it. You know that both words form a single adjective because, if you were to remove one of the two words, you would either be left with “flesh insects” or “eating insects,” both of which are… wrong.

The exception to this rule (which I fucking hate because it makes absolutely no goddamn sense) is that you don’t hyphenate compound adjectives that include an adverb, such as “lightly planted,” “beautifully decorated,” or “brightly coloured.” I… honestly don’t know why this is a rule. It makes zero sense to me. And it looks stupid. But it’s the rule. And I hate it. But, I mean, you know, whatever. Rules is rules is rules, or whatever.

A creative tip from me for this rule:

You can create super crazy compound adjectives to set a tone or mood in a story, even if they’re a bit unorthodox. (It works especially well in situations where a character is super duper frustrated.) For example, I’ve used compound adjectives like “too-small-for-four-people” and “why-the-hell-is-this-so-fucking-advanced” in stories before. It really sets the tone for how characters are thinking.

You can totally get crazy creative with compound adjectives. It adds a lot to a story. Just be sure to double check that you’re actually using your compound adjectives as adjectives. So, like, you wouldn’t say, “The room they’ve found themselves in is too-small-for-four-people,” since, in that case, you aren’t using the hyphenated phrase as an adjective, you’re just describing a scene. If you were to use the hyphenated phrase as an adjective, you would say, “They’ve found themselves in a too-small-for-four-people room.”

4. Subject-verb agreement:

This one is really tricky, because it looks… wrong… lots of times… as well as it isn’t really something that you actively think about when writing. But, I mean, hey, it’s worth mentioning.

This rule has to do with… well, the verb(s) used in a sentence agreeing with that sentence’s subject. For example, you wouldn’t say “the box rest on the staircase,” you would say “the box rests on the staircase.” In that sentence, the box is the subject, and the verb is to rest, so you want the verb to agree with the subject.

Here’s another example, just to reiterate the basic premise: You wouldn’t say “the crowd cheer for the runner,” you would say, “the crowd cheers for the runner.” The crowd is the subject, and to cheer is the verb, so you want the verb to agree with the subject.

That part makes total sense and comes very naturally, since that’s how most native English speakers learn the language and all, but this rule gets really, really, really complex. Honestly, I still don’t fully understand all of this rule’s little details, but the part of this rule that I see misused a lot is when there are words in between the subject and the verb. This is why I say a lot of times sentences look wrong when they have correct subject-verb agreement, since, for example, although you wouldn’t say, “The kittens sits on the corner,” you would say, “The basket full of kittens sits on the corner,” since, in that case, the subject of the sentence is the basket, not the kittens.

Essentially, when there are multiple nouns in a sentence, make sure that the verb agrees with the subject, not just whatever noun is closest to the verb.

This rule is hard to explain without examples, so here are just some more examples:

The swarm of bees buzzes loudly.

The subject of the sentence is “the swarm,” not “bees,” so the verb “to buzz” needs to agree with “the swarm.”

The guy with all the pigeons works in my office.

The subject of the sentence is “the guy,” not “the pigeons,” so the verb “to work” needs to agree with “the guy.”

Each of the dogs gets a treat.

The subject of the sentence is “each,” not “the dogs,” so the verb “to get” needs to agree with “each.”

I… hope that makes sense? It’s a finicky rule, man…

5. Proper nouns in terms of things like pet names.

This gets messed up a lot, and… I’m super guilty of it, whoops.

This has to do with, like, if a character calls their spouse “darling,” or if someone calls their dog whose name is Ollie “silly billy,” or if a parent calls their child “babygirl” (…that’s the one I’m guilty of fucking up.) While these are all names in their own right, none of them get capitalised.

The easiest way to check to make sure you’re doing this right is to take your character who is using the pet name and imagine them speaking to someone else. If they still use the pet name in place of the actual name, you capitalise it. If they don’t, then don’t.

Here’s an example sentence:

“I have a question for you, dearest,” Simeon calls to Kanrik across the room.

“Dearest” does not get capitalised, since Simeon wouldn’t go up to someone and say, “Dearest told me something interesting the other day.” He might say, “My dearest Kanrik told me something interesting,” but otherwise, nah.

Another example is, I had a friend with a boston terrier named Georgie whom her mother always used to call “wiggle worm.” “Wiggle worm” wouldn’t get capitalised in writing, since my friend’s mom wouldn’t go up to someone and say, “I was walking Wiggle Worm the other day.” Uh, unless the dog’s name actually was Wiggle Worm. Which would be an awesome dog name. But… it’s not. She might say, “I was walking my little wiggle worm Georgie the other day,” but otherwise, nah.

6. “Who” versus “whom.”

People will always get on your ass if you do this wrong, yet nobody ever teaches you how to do it right..? This rule can totally be ignored, cus it’s kinda silly and pretentious to worry about, but it’s still good to know the trick for it, especially if you’re writing dialogue for a super pretentious character.

Here’s the trick: rephrase the sentence with the who/whom confusion as a question, then answer it. If the answer to the question is he/she/they, then use who, but if the answer is him/her/them, then use whom.

Here’s a sentence where the correct usage would be who:

This is the man who rescued the cat.

To check, rephrase it as a question: Who rescued the cat? He did.

And here’s a sentence where the correct usage would be whom:

The man whom this book belongs to is sitting in the lounge.

Again, to check, rephrase it as a question: Whom does this book belong to? Him.

(Funny story, actually… this one is on my mind because I saw a bumper sticker today that was pawprint-shaped and had the phrase “Who rescued who?” on it. It’s v cute, but grammatically speaking, it should be “Who rescued whom?” since — using that same trick — who did the rescuing? She did. And whom did she rescue? Him.)

7. “Its” versus “it’s.”

I’m not gonna lie, I only finally got this one in my muscle memory like two years ago… It seems very counter-intuitive at first, but once you think about it, it makes sense, and is easy to relearn.

Basically, the possessive form of this word is “its,” not “it’s.” At first, this doesn’t look right, since apostrophes are, obviously, used to show possession, but this is a special circumstance because, in this case, “it’s” is actually a contraction of “it” and “is.” The good news about this one is, even though it seems kinda counter-intuitive, it’s super easy to check to make sure you’re using it right. All you have to do is break any instances of “it’s” into “it is” and see if the sentence still makes sense.

Here’s an example of this done incorrectly:

The dragon carried the knight away in it’s jaws.

To check, break apart the contraction. You wouldn’t say “The dragon carried the knight away in it is jaws,” right? So the correct way to write it would be:

The dragon carried the knight away in its jaws.

8. Correct use of “per se.”

HEY MAN ARE U READY FOR A GRAMMAR RULE THAT I TOTALLY KNOW BUT HAVE NEVER EVER USED CORRECTLY ONCE BEFORE EVER IN MY LIFE EVER??? Because here it is…

“Per se” actually means “in of itself.” Most people — myself included — tend to naturally use this term as if it meant “necessarily,” since that’s honestly what it sounds like it should mean… but that is totally wrong. For example…

Here is an incorrect use of “per se:”

He isn’t a genius, per se, but he is very smart.

Another incorrect use:

I didn’t lie to the cops, per se, I just didn’t tell them everything.

These sentences use “per se” as if it meant “necessarily” or “exactly,” which it does not.

Here is a correct use of “per se:”

The boss fight really isn’t difficult per se, but the fact that you have to do it at level four makes it seem so.

And another correct use:

I don’t hate cheesecake per se, I just hate cheesecakes from the Cheesecake Factory.

In these sentences, “per se” is being used to mean “in of itself” or “intrinsically,” which is correct.

I… had such a hard time coming up with examples for this one, because I am so bad with this rule, but… there you go, pfft. If I’m wrong feel free to crucify me cus I still mess this one up every damn day.

hhhhh i am…… very very tired now and am feeling a bit better pfft so i’ll just leave it here for tonight shrug emoji

blease if anyone has questions about grammar rules or wants general writing tips or tricks for something specific hmu okay cus this shit is rlly relaxing for me to rant about lmao

so yeah

anyway night y’all

#idk what to tag this with #writing stuff?? grammar rules??? idk #these are just things i saw in my bro's fic //shrugs//#is it ironic that i'm not proofreading my spiel about grammar? probably #but whatever i'm tired lmao night y'all #(...remind me to make another one of these including the true definition of irony someday pfffffffffffft)#writing shit

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