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crimsonandcloverwrites · 3 years

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ok bhah ch11 my longest yeah boi ever

i’m literally... so excited I can’t even read it ok ok

oh no not the wedding invitations not this

i swear to god if we have to go through this wedding. knifeemoji

listen I have a fear that we’re gonna get the break up and the car accident same as canon dear god don’t put us through that either

no fears *literally everything that could make bhah more painful* several fears dot meme

god not the jamie invite. she cant even do it. another sign from god you are choosing to ignore

straight to Jamie’s house oh

lmao the red door I just worked out that’s a hill house reference from when I was wondering in like ch3(?) lol the inner workings of my dumbass brain never stop

“can we talk?” it’s happening what is happening

Dani was so tired of lying oh my god

my heart is literally beating so fast

alone in Jamie’s room bro wtf wtf

Jamie is just so soft and understanding always always aaaahhhhh

fuck she just wants out of this wedding so bad but she can’t even tell him

AAAHHH SHE KISSED HER OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING

fuck fgkjhdfkjgh this is not good oh no. Dani finally finally fucking doing something for herself and Jamie so aware that this cannot be happening like this right now

and yet both of them just falling into it anyway oh my goddddd

jesus christ jesus christ “Dani had half crawled into Jamie’s lap, kissing her with a fierce and fervent heat” I am on deaths door

god they’ve both wanted this for so so so so long I can’t believeeeeee

(i am so thrilled that y’all just went there right away btw)

“Please, just - I just want to feel how I’m supposed to.” oucchhhh Dani

god her just... knowing. after one kiss w Jamie that she can finally do it and talk to him and end it and it’s so terrifying but goddd yes

“You think I can ever say no to you?” oof

“Ask,” Jamie breathed. “Ask me.” fucking fuck the power of this line oh my god Jamie is so fucking ready to jump of a bridge for her it’s- the dedication the love the longing the everything I am going insane is it too early to start drinking at 1pm

you’re not you can’t NOT THE CANON DINER SCENE

fuck this is like watching a car crash i can’t look away it’s so fucking visceral and nerve-wracking and painful

but god I’m so proud of her for finally saying what she wants

oh thank fuck y’all didn’t take him out with a passing delivery truck

“You must have known. You know me.” oh god this sentiment always kills me

“She couldn’t say it — the words ‘I’m gay’ forever out of reach — so instead she said, “I can’t.”” my whole body is on fire oh my god this is.... too fucking real

jesus christ the near miss w the truck are u trying to kill me (i actually kind of love that Dani will have to deal w her feelings w him face to face instead of having to bury it all in grief like in canon I am so excited to see how y’all handle that)

a fucking HOUR in the car dfkjghdfkjh the torture

oh honey. literally both of them suffering so much ouch

her favourite saucepan pls this is all so awful and sad but that make me laugh so much the poor confused little duck I am glad she has her comforts

god poor Dani

"Is she here to cook something?" fgkjdhfkgjhfkjgdf

“No. I think you’re brave.” oh

“We’ll figure it out." listen listen I am undoubtedly losing my mind god this is soft

“She had spent so long being asked and not asking. Never asking. She never dared. To ask was to be known, to be made visible, words forging reality as surely as a smith’s hammer. And yet Jamie waited, letting Dani gather the courage herself.

"Can I -?" Dani said, "- stay?"” please fuck I am just so !!!!!!!! about Dani getting to know what she wants and having a fucking voice. just !!!!!!!!

“Jamie inviting her in” fucking just both of them finally getting some of that quiet courage w each other I am yelling so much

“Dani knew that it wasn't just her feeling this, that it had never just been her.” YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT BABEY

““But you do?” Dani asked. “Want to?”

Jamie’s answering laugh was brief and incredulous. “You have no idea.”” I AM: HOOTIN. AND: HOLLERIN

“I am here” hello? hello I am not coping I am on another plane of existence. DANI FINALLY FEELING SO PRESENT AND WHOLE IN THIS MOMENT

god they’re just holding each other i’m tearing up. Jamie is her home

Dani finally sleeping through the night ow my fucking heart

Mikey’s so chill about all of this sdkdhfdkj I love him

Jamie going out n buying her favourite jam... god the tenderness. love is stored in the strawberry jam and the hairdryer

hmmmmm her attraction to Jamie is so closely tied to a lot of really hard feelings this is gonna take a bit to work through huh???

aw Jamie going to Carson I am so happy she has her little band of gays to help her rn

I love that she can just kiss her now when she gets the urge like maybe chill out a lil just landing all these surprise kisses but like good for u girl. good for both of u

the warmth of the house hmmmmm I love that she’s found this esp because she is perpetually cold and Jamie is always warm but keeps it like that for the kid (and probably for Dani too) aaahhhh

cgjkdfhkjgh Dani is so thirsty poor Jamie trying to keep them in check. these moments are so fucking loaded holy shit

Dani Jamie and Mikey are the cuuutest lil family aw

god the tentativeness between them trying to figure this all out and the casual intimacy and just. all of it is so much and so beautiful to watch unfold

i love this little bubble inside Jamie’s house and Jamie kind of drawing the curtains around them both physically and metaphorically while she lets Dani figure things out and lets it settle between them

it’s all about the hands

oh my god Hannah instantly asking if she needs a place to stay she really is the best

soft little mornings with her Jamie like... once Dani finally defeats the ball of guilt in her chest there is so much goodness to look forward to and I am v glad she has that right now even as she is still struggling a bit. my girl needs all the sweetness in her life

also the idea of Jamie getting to wake up to sleeping Dani in her bed every morning after a lifetime of trying to repress her feelings... god

heh she’s already figuring out all the ways to push Jamie’s buttons god these two are going to have some fun w each other

this idea of learning the creaking floorboards of a new home is so... warm

Jamie leaving all the curtains drawn for her oh my heart keeping her safe keeping her safe

Nan would be so proud of ms Dani u know it’s true

awww Mikey comin home to keep her company

Mikey Dani time is always so sweet I love them

my god Dani n Jamie are so intense w each other and just so full of fucking desire... when those floodgates finally open will they even survive

oof Dani is dealing with soooo much ugh. Jamie always there with a gentle way to bring her back down to earth tho my hearrrtttt

“You’re allowed to be happy.” she is SHE IS ty Jamie Taylor voice of reason

a pinky promise to deal with everything together awwww

“why are you so good to me” “you know why” oh my goddddddd. that’s so soft that’s so gentle that’s so much love

Dani finding little bits in herself in media god i love this

Dani Mikey hours best hours

god Carson... sweet boy. And Judy sending over a whole bunch of food oof just. these quiet little reminders of their love for her. Dani’s about to go through a whole bunch more emotions huh?

fkjdfkjgfh Mikey going into protector mode when Carson is there pls i love hm

ohmy “our room” aaaaaaahhhhh

god Dani expecting him to be upset with her I am so fucking emotional. I relate far too much to Dani in canon and in this story and it’s just. painful as hell to see someone go through the things you know hurt the most holy shit

please Carson is so sweet and understanding and telling her he’s proud of her is making me cry so much I can barely see

this whole like.. uncomfortable but relief-filled kind of coming out between her and Carson is so so beautifully done I can’t stop fucking crying

“God, you two were agony to watch.” fglkdfgkjdfhkjgh Carson a voice of the people

“You deserve to be happy.” - Carson and also me and also everyone reading this

god he is so wonderful!!!!!! this reminder that she’s not alone and everything will be ok!!!!!!! Carson I love you so much

the box being described as “the beating heart of their childhood“ god the imagery

Jamie so sweetly making room for her and welcoming her into a home I am emotional again the tears have really been unlocked now I’m gonna be a mess the whole rest of this chapter (i say as if I haven’t been already)

the really sweet way Jamie gets her to open up and trust her with the things that have been on her mind

and Dani doing the same for her god this gentle honest space between them makes my heart feel so full I am just so happy that they’ve got each other

“I want you to stay.” please (also now I’m thinking about AE putting Stay on her Jamie playlist jesus christ I am being tortured)

they get... to wake up.... in bed together. i’m so close to crying again when will this stop

i kind of love there hasn’t really been any like... just no more kissing u know but we still get this insane intimacy between them in a way that’s not them shying away from the way they want each other but so carefuly and sweetly and honestly coming towards each other

awww them always waking up all tangled is so cuuute (also Dani feeling so safe and comfy with her that her subconscious is like lets latch on she is good she is home)

lmao Dani having to mediate between these two dweebs and their playfights is so good

Jamie having her lil family surrounding her aww

(also i just noticed the rating change oh god)

sfkjfhdg Jamie looking at her hips all dark eyes and wanting we’ve all been there girl

“you can look” BOLD DANI MY BELOVED

god these two........ the grabbing her silver chain god @ google how to breathe properly??????

“Then show me.” oh my god

fkgjhdfkj so much electricity they shorted out the power

“this is just as nice” when they’re just hugging please they are so soft

i love that there’s just like... gentle soft banter between them in these quiet moments so much

“Dani, give him more homework.” ghrfjkhjgkjgh

god the heated cheek kiss

this ‘game of chicken’ god they’re just.... really in it huh this is so fun

hmmm Dani going through the suitcases and sort of being able to bring some of herself/her past into this new place is so nice

heh this lil family and their snowfights are so cute

:( she can’t bring herself to eat Judy’s food

Jamie bringing her flowers oh soft

ugh they’re just so softly melting into being together it’s so sweeeeeeeet

“You’re lovely.” and the way Jamie just sinks into her with Dani’s fingers in her hair pleeease I am dying this is so warm

aaaahhhh they’re dancing soft soft soft

“gray eyes fluttered closed, as though the weight of Dani’s touch was too much to bear” god i am..... aaaahhhh

“a gentle calm settling within her. It had seemed that for all her life she had waited for the quiet of this” y’all this is so beautiful and lovely and wonderful and all the good things

ah that kiss. kinda feels like their first real kiss where they just get to be god I am so happy “a profound sense of finally” oh oh oh that’s such a pretty concept

god I love how much they just want each other that second kiss and them just all over each other is perfect and having to try and reel that in and being able to because they know it’s not going anywhere please it’s so so good

god Dani vs Desert Hearts I love this callback and the entirely different circumstances of her watching it again

dsjfhdkjfh oh no Dani losing her mind at Jamie touching her knee god these two have got the biggest storm coming

dfkdjhkgdjh god them like.... trying to take things slow but still letting things happen while having to be aware of Mikey is so funny but I kinda love it and how indicative it all is of them being so grown up and able to approach their relationship in such a mature way. as much as I wish they’d had their teenage love story I do like that it’s unfolding this way now.

“it struck Dani then that she couldn’t remember ever laughing while doing this.” aww

Mikey’s “oh gross” hahahaha poor kid

god this is so funny

“ferret kid” jamie why are u like this sfkjhdfkjf

oh lordt it seems we have reached the unabashedly horny phase good show ol’ chaps

god they’re still so soft tho this is so fun to read

i looove how flustered they both make each other w just their presence. it’s just so !!!!!!

lmao Dani knowing exactly what to do to drive Jamie insane is fdkgfdkjgh perfect amazing show stopping more neck kisses more teasing more barely restrained desire i love it

“the reckless rush of being in each other’s arms” AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

lmaooooo Mikey Jamie is going to lock you outside if u keep doing this

the fact it can just fade back to comfortable companionship too is like. ugh i love them together

“Yeah. You can touch me whenever you want.” oh jesus

“No more interruptions, no more waiting, no more holding back.” it’s happening god it’s happening everyone stay calm (also the slow build to this point has been so fucking perfect y’all are writerly geniuses)

lmao Dani is like please can we just get naked why do u want to watch a movie I am literally right here

oh she is not waiting anymore THAT’S MY GIRL GO GET EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED I LOVE YOU

“What do you want?” god the tension

aaaaahhhhh just. them being so out of their minds with want but still all nervous and wanting to check in but still just. wanting this so much god this is *chef’s kiss*

lmao Dani already having the hair pulling thing figured out is so good. poor Jamie lol is she even going to survive this

god the fact they’re both still fully clothed n still getting this fucked up just making out n grinding on each other I love this for them

mum just came in to tell me dinner is ready I AM ALREADY EATIN GOOD

lmao fuck I am just... so thrilled for Dani finally getting to experience this get ur whole world rocked baby u deserve this

thumb in her mouth i-

“my idiot” pls that’s so soft

“You have me.” i know this is like. horny but it’s also so romantic sfgkjhdfkjg

ayoooo Jamie’s tattoo excuse me while I lose my mind a lil bit

my god Dani is so impatient to get her naked I love her for it so much “I just want to feel you”... ma’am

Jamie being all nervous is so cute aw

god having this lil moment where they just call each other beautiful n get all cute about it while they’re fully naked n grinding on each other.... perfection

god I can’t stop thinking about every other mention of Dani having sex w Eddie and it just being like adequate or like her not letting him touch her and now LOOK AT MY BABY GO SHE’S REALLY HAVIN THE TIME OF HER LIFE LITERALLY BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO

I feel like I’m like cheering Jamie on rn sfjkghdfkj u guys need anything? some snacks? a condom?? ur doing great!!

Dani crying and thanking her like this is an acceptance speech love that for her

Jamie kissing all over her face aww

I can’t believe this whole chapter is them just getting to fall in love for real

“I want to taste you” i am blushing goddamn Jamie get it

oh my god the dream. she’s literally living out her dreams

“that same focused intensity that could make kingdoms fall” I love that Jamie is just as into getting Dani off as Dani is getting off lmao GOOD FOR THEM

Dani: desperately tryin to get Jamie off. Jamie: are u sure u want to tho??? miss ma’am let the girl touch u already she deserves it (but i do love that she’s always just like.... never wanting to make Dani do anything she doesn’t wholeheartedly want to)

“You sitting here on top of me like this is doing more for me than you can imagine.” iconic jamie moment

Jamie literally just like.... ‘you can do whatever you want to figure this out’ is so sweet I love her capacity for just. giving herself over to Dani in every way (not just the horny ones) to let her forge her own path

“It was easy to understand now, the exhilaration of it, why people went crazy for it.” god I love this for her so much everything just falling into place

they’re so soft n comfy together and it’s all just so right and lovely

i love that once they’ve started they basically can’t stop honestly get it girls u deserve all the orgasms

“When did you know?” “Sixteen years.” oof my heart she’s known the whole time aaahhhh. all these lil memories god it really was all out of love I could cry. and Jamie admitting the scarf/scar thing whew she really carried around that moment on her face for the whole world to see (also lol at Dani being so fixated on it this whole time that’s so perfect)

heh they’re so cute with their lil teasing banter exchange

lol goddamn this so so spicy I am just dfklghfjkdjghkjdf (that is to say well fucking done I can’t even speak rn)

Jamie just being like you could literally just look at me and I am turned on I... love this whole situation for her so much

god they’re really just going all in Dani is getting like the.... lesbian sex speed run amen

oh god not Karen on the phone just hang up Dani do it do it

god she is so evil

omg she told her abt Jamie go off Dani I am v v proud of u right now

and she hung up on her godbless babe i LOVE your audacity

heh Jamie so transfixed by Dani’s lil purple sweater and skirt I love her

Dani u are such a tease sfkgjdfkg good 4 u tbh

awwww she got Dani’s desk for her oh my god that’s so lovely

Dani n Jamie being entirely not subtle over dinner w their lingering glances and Carson just laughing at them fkjghdkfjgh i love it. he’s so happy for them even w his teasing aw

aaahhh i just love Jamie giving her this space and this room in the house and Dani feeling so right in it

oooh an almost “I love you” god they’re just fuckin u-haulin in love perfection huh

and now we’re back to horny hours love this for them. gotta bless that desk somehow huh!?

i love the mentions of all this soft stuff about belonging when they’re about to rail each other it really rounds it out emotionally

“Get on your knees.” OH MY GOD THE JAMIE ON HER KNEES REDEMPTION MOMENT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING

HELL YEAH IT IS this is truly what we all deserve

oh my god literally ripping her clothes off her fuck i love how desperate they are for each other and just how into this they both are always

dfgkjdfh jesus Dani are u ever going to be able to get work done at this desk again after Jamie does.... all of this to u on it

“Good girl.” the single most powerful sentence in the lesbian language

jesus christ this is still so incredibly steamy sdflkhskhg it never ends. and them like.... experiementing a bit w some different um. approaches? lol good 4 them good 4 them (and us)

my god them instantly getting all soft after about making each other happy please they’re so dang cute

ok love that we are also getting Dani on her knees it’s equality.gif

this little “I like you” “I like you too” confession right now is... so fucking soft and like... after everything they’ve gone through they still have the power to kinda knock each other off their feet w lil things like this huh?? sappy lil shits

oh no Judy I am scared

holy shit Dani “Didn't think you'd love me anymore” owwww my heart

god Judy is such a good mama I love her so much. reassuring her she’s still a part of the family my god I am so emo. she loves her so much

aw I love this lil shared bathroom scene after so many awkward moments w Dani and Eddie in their bathroom and so many mentions of her fogged reflection. things are finally clear and it’s wonderful!!

lol Jamie well if u didn’t want Dani to get all horny u shouldn’t have worn suspenders!!!!! it’s simple math!

god Dani has changed so much this chapter which only takes place over a couple of weeks right?!?!? after so much anxiety and being so unsure of herself this is so fucking beautiful to see

stop the car thing oh my godddd. she doesn’t even care about having her own cause she’s so happy w the person she’s sharing with I’m so overwhelmingly happy

“You’re perfect.” please I will cry this chapter was so perfect (also so are the memes I cackled so much)

#bhah #lmao this is long as fuck #god this chapter was good I love everythng about it #we did it joe #lord what an experience

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btsandvmin · 5 years

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Getting it out of the way...

Okay, so here’s the thing. I get a lot of questions about other ships, mainly about Ji/kook and I just want to say that while I understand that a lot of you are curious about my opinion on them there are a few things I would like to say about the topic of other ships.

If you don’t want to read about other ships I suggest you don’t keep on reading. I also apologize if I sound rude and that this post is a mess, but I really just wanted to answer this and get it done as I don’t really find much pleasure in it.

I want to say to you who sent these asks that I hope you don’t feel that I have anything against you, because you have said nothing wrong or offensive. You clearly like my posts and I really love you all for supporting me and liking my thoughts to much! <3

I just don’t really like talking more about other ships than Vmin. So sorry if you feel sad about my replies. I wasn’t actually sure if I should answer some of these questions at all.

However I am, but be aware that this could be difficult to read for shippers of “all sides” including Vmin shippers. It’s basically just me ranting and speculating as I share my own views.

First of for me it’s much more fun to talk about Vmin and their bond, it’s what I love and it’s the reason I made this blog. Again, not to prove what ship is real or not, but simply to talk about Vmin and what if’s based on things I notice. Also as a bit of a counter to other shippers who love to analyze but always act 100% certain of being right. I also still think that most likely BTS has non straight members but that the odds of there being an actual couple are rather small. But if there is one maknae line is definitely the most suspicious ones for various reasons.

Secondly even if another ship is real you can’t put the relationships against each other. Seeing more of one dynamic doesn’t automatically mean that the other is lesser or has been replaced. Even if two of the members are together why does that mean that they wouldn’t be close with or love another member? If that would be true it would reflect rather poorly on the members involved, basically either making them obsessive/possessive/jealous to the point where it affects their relationship with their friends. Or being neglecting towards your friend because of a romantic relationship. Maybe this could be true in the start (honeymoon phase) of a relationship but we are talking about people who know each other and has been friends for years. You really think Jimin or Tae would abandon the other to the point of not spending any time together outside of work? We know that’s not true, we know they still spend time together even if we don’t hear about it as often. I just think it’s weird to pitch the members against each other in that way, or imply that one or more of them would be insensitive enough to do this for such a long time even if someone suffers for it. Love is not a competition. Fine if it would be mutual and they wouldn’t want to spend time together, but at least we can see that Vmin clearly love each other and they still indicate often that they like spending time together. So why wouldn’t they?

Thirdly, do you even realize how much we don’t get to see? I’ve said it before but idols manage to have relationships that are completely hidden with people they can’t meet very often. If BTS has a couple within the group they surely get to spend more time together than the normal relationship even outside of what we as their fans get to see. But it’s also much more risky and easy to expose if you say or do the wrong thing. Even if fanservice is something they can hide behind partly. In this sense, even Tae/kook makes more sense with how little we get to see from them despite obviously knowing they spend time together too. Just saying that no matter how much we think we get to see, there is still a lot we don’t see. And the things we do get to see are edited and often managed by Big Hit (even though I do not think that all the staff like editors and directors etc would be aware of a relationship if is there is one).

Fourth if there is an actual homosexual couple I think it would be in both their own self-interest and from Big Hit’s perspective to not let it show, at least not too much considering how the fans really look into every single thing. I could be wrong and maybe Big Hit is planning to let Ji/kook come out or be in a glass closet, but it would likely be devastating to their careers. Just a few days ago I saw Korean netizens comment that homosexuals are basically psychopaths. It would mean that they would put being together openly above the success of the group and honestly I just personally don’t think that fits with either Jimin’s nor Jungkook’s personalities who has sacrificed a lot of other things for BTS and their fans (I know this sounds horrible, just saying it’s a huge deal). Not right now at least, when they have renewed their contracts and still has military service to go through. Engaging in “homosexual activities” during military service is even punishable by law in Korea. Of course I don’t know any of this as fact and I do think Big Hit and BTS are very forward thinking and obviously pro LGBT+, so who knows. It would also be a huge deal that would help a lot of people, but as of now I just think it’s unlikely that they would let any member come out as non straight, and even less a couple. Their general attitude towards publicly showing support has grown, but it’s still careful and they would definitely lose a lot of fans, not the least in Korea.

Fifth, the fact is that Ji/kook is getting PR from Big Hit. Most of, if not all, things that reach us be it videos, tweets or written interviews are probably looked over by Big Hit (also remember Vmin checking their answers with each other?). Especially if they have something to hide they would probably have teams that made sure things stayed hidden. I think JK even talked about how they have staff up working while they are on vlive to check reactions etc. It’s just common sense for entertainers of any kind to have their image managed by their company at least to some extent. Also, leaks by staff is how most info on idols’ private info leaks, so a thing like this would be handled very delicately if you don’t want to get exposed. The exception here would be if no one knew about this except Ji/kook basically, but then that wouldn’t explain why Big Hit helps promoting them, also if that would be the case I imagine they would rather act even more careful.

Now of course not all staff could know about them hiding such a thing and things would slip through from time to time no matter what. But you all realize that things like GCF are right there on their official channels? That Ji/kook got asked about the trip several times, and even got moved in the Harajuku sweets interview so that we would get to see the question “What do you like about Jimin?” from JK. And why does Big Hit refuse Taehyung to sing the song with Jimin, if they are okay with promoting Ji/kook in quite obvious LGBT+ ways?

I don’t deny that Ji/kook don’t spend a huge amount of time together, or that they aren’t close, because they surely are. I also don’t think promoting a ship to hide another makes sense, so it’s definitely genuine from their side. They also do have suspicious moments and likely has hidden in each other’s rooms etc. But all I can say is that IF they are together it would seem like they don’t care about being discreet at all. Jimin has even been described by JK as “shameless” and I think the word fits with Jimin’s attitude towards JK since the beginning. Personally I don’t see much of a change in Ji/kook relationship from his side at all. And that is fine, maybe they just are that open and don’t care about being careful at all… But then that begs the question “why does Jimin act careful in regards to Taehyung?" I’m not kidding when I’m saying Jimin and Taehyung acts stiff or quiet at odd times like they try to hold back things, or that they really do seem reluctant to be alone live together.

Below you can see some asks I have gotten on these topics and honestly I kinda just want to get them all out of the way at the same time, because a lot of the things are the same. Sorry if I come off as rude, but I really don’t want to talk too much about other ships, both because it’s not really in my main interest and secondly because I think everyone should ship what they like and I am not here to talk badly about any ship.

Again, don’t feel bad for sending me these asks, and I hope you don’t feel insulted by my replies. These are sensitive topics after all and this is merely how I feel about various things.

Asks are in cursive:

sometimes i cant help but feel really weird about vmin and feel insecure ji/kook are always together on stage and off stage even in one of taes vlives he said he wanted to call jimin but hes probably with jungkook and so many other things in memories of 2018 i really love vmin but i feel so sad and can’t help but feel that they’ve grown apart and jimins replaced tae with jungkook it makes me upset to think that maybe they fought and arent together anymore :( i’m sorry for bothering u

Even if Jimin spends more time with JK than Tae we don’t see everything and we don’t know everything. But I am confident that Vmin love each other and we know they spend time together that we don’t see. I doubt Jimin would “replace” Tae with JK, and once again their love is not something we as bystanders can measure based on the amount of screen time or tweets we get to see of certain pairs.

Heelow i just wanna ask a quick question, do you watch jik analysis videos especially that one popular shipper named kook/min/world on YouTube and Tumblr her analysis are........ STRONG I've been stalking her on Tumblr and she acts like she knows things and not gonna lie some of the things she says do come true 😕 Anyways where are you we miss you soo much mommmmyyyy 😭

I have watched some, though I can’t recall exactly which ones and what they were about (watched too many random analysis videos to remember who made them). And I agree, there are some strong compelling arguments, both for ji/kook and tae/kook. But most of them are still based in sharing rooms or the GCF or “jealousy” and frankly to me that isn’t enough even if all of them are true. The step from sharing a room to being in a relationship is rather huge if you ask me. And we know idols can be careful about showing things like that even if it’s all just rumors. And again, the behavior of ji/kook just doesn’t seem to show that they are trying to be careful about anything. But that’s just me.

As for knowing things there are plenty of inside information to be found if you just dig enough. It’s difficult to know what to trust and especially shipping info is very hard to trust. There are things like sound of JK and Tae playing games and swearing out on the internet, there are alleged fake dates with women, and not the least many fans knew about the huge internal problems that BTS experienced during 2017-18. So yes, there is of course a chance that people have obtained inside information but it’s really difficult to know what to trust or not even if some things prove to be real later on.

I appreciate your opinion , coz i find it pretty logical and mature. So i have some question about ji/kook . What do you think . Why Jin asked in recent run episode to Jm and JK "Are You Guys dating ?" i also noticed that Tae at that time seemed so quite and distante .. and he didn't laugh with other memebers after that . What do you think why memebers would say such thing as "joke" and do u think it's a joke ? Also Tae's reaction intrigued me and i think didn't other members noticed that too ?

Thank you! I try, though of course it’s extremely difficult to know everything as what is logical to me might not be logical to someone else etc. Still, I’m happy to hear you say my thoughts seem logical and mature.

For me personally things like Jin asking “Are you guys dating?” is one of the biggest reasons I don’t think it’s true. It would be a huge risk and the only reason I could see anyone doing that is if they know the truth will be out soon. They’ve also said this to other members as a joke, so that’s honestly what I think it is; a joke.

Taehyung’s reaction to things like this I have noted tend to be very muted. But on the other hand he also has a neutral face that looks rather sad, meaning he could really just have no real reaction. This is a huge problem I see in analysis videos all the time, that the person analyzing doesn’t actually seem know the members enough to know them “on their own”. Like Tae having a rather “sour” looking neutral face or for example JK who has a billion nervous habits, one which is the famous “tongue” thing. Meaning you can’t automatically assume that things only has that one meaning etc.

hello I really liked everything you write about VMin, I love that relationship that I do not consider it a Shipp anymore, for me it is the purest and most real relationship that any other shipp, I wanted to ask you what do you think about the rings I mention JK in Busan? Jimin got very nervous and JK hinted that it's something between him and Jimin, why did he do that? If you say that BigHit gives you rules to not show your love or your relationship, why did you do that ?, despite that situation

Thank you so much! :) VMin truly has an amazing bond!

I have heard about the rings, though I don’t know if it was confirmed to be exactly those rings (aka wedding/engagement) but I am not sure I know what moment you are talking about with Jimin seeming nervous. I’m guessing it might be from muster, but if someone knows please let me know.

Again, I have no idea what Big Hit says or does (though we do know some things like Tae not being allowed to sing with Jimin or Docskim not being allowed to release the behind story of Lie etc) all I talk about is how I assume they would manage such a situation. But there could be many other ways I can’t even think of. Basically it’s all a guessing game, but personally I think it would be in Big Hit’s interest to not let BTS “run wild” with certain things (like the no drunk tweeting rule). Also even if Big Hit has given them rules they are still capable of breaking those rules if they choose to, though I think it would get consequences. As for the rings a lot of the members have matching jewelry or clothes, so it’s difficult to know if it means anything special.

I'm not the last anon so I don't think they're forced but in relation to change people often say it's usually late 2017—2018. Then there's its because of JK. Because apparently that's when jimin and jk noticibly started spending a lot of time together. And since jimin only has limited time to spend with others, even outside the group, that's when the questions come. For me personally I saw the change after the Malta trip.

The dates always seems to be different even from Ji/kookers, but for Vmin at least to me there seemed to be a possible change in the early 2016 when they basically stopped with their vlives and then started to look super clingy yet pushed each other away at odd times.

As for late 2017-2018 and Ji/kook I have a few things I question in regards to the actual timeline and how that would effect Vmin. First if that was when JK and Jimin actually got together doesn’t that change the whole narrative of GFC and their trip to Japan? I mean, I realize some people see it as when they “confessed” but then it seems odd they would suddenly be super open and out if their relationship was so new. The Big Hit “unicorn shoot” was also before that which means they had already started the LGBT related promotions for Ji/kook. So if Ji/kook is real I think it makes more sense that it would have been going on for longer than that. I also personally don’t think the change is completely due to ji/kook but rather a major change in Jungkook. He did not have a good year 2017 and I think Jimin being there for him was just Jimin being Jimin. I also think that when JK then started to be happier his attitude changed, he started posting on twitter after a long time, dyed his hair basically for the first time and started to be seen outside more often. Sometimes getting “dragged out” by Jimin.

But the question remains if Ji/kook got together why did it affect Vmin so much? Surely if Ji/kook has been together for a long time the other members would have known and let them spend time together of course, but why would Jimin suddenly start pushing Taehyung away just because he got a boyfriend? It doesn’t paint Ji/kook in a good light to see their relationship possibly affecting Vmin’s friendship so much. And more importantly, why would it still after years make Vmin avoid certain things and act weirdly? Jimin and Taehyung are best friends and should still be able to spend time together if they truly want to, and things they say and do indicates that they want that. So why is Vmin so much more private if there is no problem for ji/kook to be so open about spending time together?

I don’t know, personally I still think Vmin behaves more suspicious which I think would match better with both the risk with being in a homosexual relationship as well as with their respective personalities.

hi i know you are busy and probably answer very late but I've noticed that when Jik are together they always forget about Tae there are so many moments i can't mention here i am sure you know about them but it makes me sad how they just ignore tae especially jk they all were so close before so do you think there is somethin going on between jik? I mean they go on trips jm came back from Japan on Valentine's day nd they were spotted together, maybe that's why tae also doesn't go with jm 😪🤔

Hmm, interesting because I think there are plenty of moments where Vmin end up forgetting other people when in each other’s presence as well. I can think of examples with JK as well, like in Hawaii when Vmin talked about walking together at night and JK just sits there etc. I think this is one of those things that might just be shippers pointing out and over analyzing something that happens with more members than just their ship. Also Tae tends to space out, so that could be another reason. I would have to look at each moment to give a proper opinion.

I suppose if Tae perhaps really liked Jimin and got his heart broken as Ji/kook got together it could mean that Tae would like to distance himself. But there are too many other things that goes against this and I think it would be way more noticeable, not to mention probably show a huge change in physical behavior between them so it seems unlikely. I don’t see any reason for Tae to push away the person he calls his best friend just because he would be in a relationship. I also don’t see why Vmin wouldn’t just be able to continue being best friends even if one of them had a relationship someone.

I love your analyses , coz you're always puts everything so logically . Bdw what do you think of that famous jikook trip together ?? It's still intrigued me why Vmin always wants and say out loud that they want to travel together just Only two of them , and they even made a promise of that ,but then suddenly JM goes w JK (and they likes to talk about that trip a lot) , and i still can't get why Tae coudn't be there too and what stopped them to made their wishful promise ??

Taehyung was actually in Japan at the same time… Which is interesting. But he was spending time with his family. I do agree it’s weird Vmin has never acted on going somewhere together despite having claimed to want to several times, but either we just haven’t seen it or they simply prioritize other things above it. I don’t think it’s anything weird if that’s the case. I also don’t think Ji/kook going on a trip automatically makes them real, not even if Jimin was out with JK (and other friends) on Valentines day.

It’s funny because Ji/kookers stalked them to find which hotel room they stayed in and got all crazy about the bath being see-through, as if not all the members have likely seen each other naked for years. But yeah, when you only see your own ship I guess it doesn’t mean anything that others has done it before. Remember Vmin on Valentines 2014?

Sorry for sounding bitter and negative, but it’s just not that fun for me to talk about this. I am aware of the other ships and how many odd things there are to find, but I will still stand by and ship Vmin. As I’ve said before they have plenty of odd things too, which means most of the ships probably cancel each other out and aren’t real. Shipping Vmin romantically is what I love and prefer and if anyone says Vmin don’t love each other they are clearly lying. I can support Vmin as best friends just as much as lovers or soulmates. To me what matters is that the members are happy and if another ship being real means happiness for the members then that’s fine by me. I will support BTS and the members no matter what, but as of now we still don’t know anything and I am not convinced of any ship.

Sorry again, I hope I haven’t offended one. But honestly being sad because you possibly might be wrong about a ship doesn’t change the fact that all of BTS love each other no matter what.

Thanks if you managed to read this and still wants to follow me. I really appreciate you all a lot. <3

#vmin #bts shipping #btsandvmin #btsandvmin answers #btsandvmin ask #my post #controvercial #opinion not facts

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alexiela73 · 6 years

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I have a HC request for you if you're comfortable with it, sorry if there are too many people. How would Soldier 76, Hanzo, McCree, Genji and Zarya react to their S/O being threatened in some way? Or finding out that someone had threatened them?

I only do 4 at most, so I’m gonna cut out Soldier 76. Sorry about that!

Hanzo:

This man loves you immeasurably

After the life he’s lived and the mistakes he‘s made…

Nothing will keep him from loving you

Especially when you insist on loving him the way he is

He’s protective but is also aware you’re pretty capable

He’s been going over self-protection maneuvers with you for a long time

Hanzo knows its irrational to always worry over you but he cant help it

So to make himself feel better, this seemed like a good way to relax about the matter

One day you come home

Hanzo notices the bruises on your knuckles the moment you get home, and his expression darkens

When he asks what happened, you hesitantly tell him about the fact that someone tried to steal your bag on your way home

Lifting your hand, he pressed a soft kiss to each knuckle before staring expectantly at you

Blushing, you looked down and admitted that instead of handing it over, you broke the guy’s nose with a good punch and possibly his penis with a soccer kick

Hanzo instantly calms, knowing he did not get away with it

He’s actually super proud of you for defending yourself

McCree:

You are the world to him

Would chase you to the ends of the earth just to be at your side

Only an idiot would threaten you

Is pretty relaxed in general. He’s confident in himself

The one thing he can’t tolerate though is people smack talking or flirting with you

And lets just say, a threat won’t be dealt with nicely either

And yet that’s what happens one time while you’re on a date

There is this dance club the two of you like go to

It’s where the two of you first met, and one of the things you loved most was pulling Jesse into the crowd to dance with him

It was crowded that night and you accidentally bumped into someone

Their drink must have spilled, because the guy turned, face red as a tomato

Not only did he call you a bitch, but the guy looked ready to take a swing

Suddenly though the guy was lifted off his feet by a strong, metal hand and Jesse stared up at him, cigar in the other.

The man stared at him, almost looking ready to argue but there was a look in Jesse’s eye that was rather scary

“Best apologize to my date here, sir,” Jesse said, blowing smoke in the man’s face

When the man refused, Jesse just took out his peace keeper casually before pushing it into the man’s thick gut

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that? What did you say?” Jesse asked, leaning in.

The man stuttered a thousand sorry’s, and you almost felt pity for him

Dropping him, Jesse turned and slid an arm around your waist

“Lets go dance, darlin’,” he said, amused

Genji:

You’re safety and honor are important to him

He loves you so much…

The fact that you can love him the way he is now…it means so much to him

Nothing matters as much as you

Like Hanzo, he teaches you some self defense

But honestly, he’s seriously protective of you

Doesn’t like you dealing with dangerous situations by yourself

Would prefer to handle the messy stuff for you

At one point, you confess to Genji about a threat you got at work

It was one of your coworkers

The good news is it wasn’t a death threat

But it was a threat to try and get you fired if you didn’t do as they asked

Genji couldn’t believe you worked with someone like that

You tried insisting it was fine

Oh, and it was

Two days later, that very employee started apologizing profusely to you

They said they had made a huge mistake and that they really wanted you to forgive them

Confused, you couldn’t understand the sudden change

Later though, you asked Genji and he admitted to having had a…chat with them

You gave him a look and chastised him gently, but the man looked utterly unremorseful

It was worth it if it was for you

Zarya:

There is no one she loves more then you

She likes to express it every day, in small ways

Whether it be with flowers

Or making breakfast

Or just telling you she loves you…

You meant a lot to her and she didn’t always know how to express that

Zarya doesn’t mean to be but she can be a bit protective

You’re her honey pie

Should anyone hurt you or your feelings, they would have her to deal with

And trust me, most people were not interested in the idea of messing with the strongest woman in Russia

Looking at her biceps alone is terrifying

That didn’t seem to stop someone though

At one point, Zarya and you had gone to the gym

While Zarya finished getting ready, you stood outside already in your gym gear

Some huge man shoved past you and nearly bowled you over

Scowling, you said ‘excuse me!’ and glared

The guy stopped and turned, glaring back at you

‘Stay out of the way, pipsqueak or you’ll really get hurt.’

What he didn’t seem to realize was that Zarya was in a the gender neutral change room and had heard it all

Walking out with a towel around her shoulders, she grabbed the man’s arm as he started to pass her

Snarling, he started to pull away but gasped when suddenly her fingers dug into his arms and she twisted it behind his back

‘If you ever threaten them again, I will rip out little dick between your legs and shove it high up ass, understand?” Zarya snarled, glaring down at them

It took three minutes but they yielded, and even apologized

You sighed, hugging her. You had tried convincing her a long time ago that you couldn’t threaten every asshole in the world

Zarya said otherwise

#Hanzo #Hanzo x Reader #Hanzo Headcanon #McCree #McCree x Reader #McCree Headcanon #Genji #Genji Headcanon #Genji x Reader #Zarya #Zarya x Reader #Zarya Headcanon #Overwatch #Overwatch Imagines #Overwatch sTories #Overwatch Writings #Overwatch x Reader

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chasholidays · 6 years

Note

Hi! I cant believe it's holiday fic season already what happened. My prompt is for the 100, whatever pairing you'd like. The pairing has been neighbors forever, and regularly go visit via the others bedroom window. They dont keep it a secret on purpose, but dont realize its weird until one of them goes into the others room without realizing someone is already in there. :)

i. ten

Bellamy hates his mom’s new boyfriend.

She’s had boyfriends before, but he’s never actually hated any of them, not while she was dating them. But Bart wants to be a father to Bellamy in just the bad ways, wants to be the one who punishes him for screwing up and ignores all the good marks on his report card to focus on the two areas where he needs improvement.

That’s his excuse for sending Bellamy to bed without dinner, telling Mom that it’s the only way he’ll learn.

“Boys need discipline,” he says. “If you don’t teach him what’s right now, he’ll never learn. You have to take a firm hand.”

Mom doesn’t argue, and he hates them, both of them, with a passion. It was a good report card. One of his needs improvement scores was on penmanship. He doesn’t have to have good handwriting. Plenty of people don’t. Doctors don’t. He’s seen Clarke’s mom write notes; he knows that’s not just a joke in TV shows.

Mom comes to check on him an hour later, when he’s reading.

“I know you think it’s unfair, but Bart is just trying to help.”

“Trying to help who?”

“I know it’s hard for you, not having a father figure in your life.”

“I’d rather not have anyone than have him.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do so.”

She sighs again. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Not if I don’t have anything to eat,” he mutters.

His mother doesn’t have a response to that, just leans over, kisses his hair, and turns off the light on her way out.

He makes himself read two more chapters of his book, and then he carefully opens up the window and climbs out onto the roof.

It’s not a bad path from Bellamy’s window to the ground, and it goes over the garage, so even if he’s loud (which he isn’t, he and Clarke checked), Mom doesn’t usually hear him. Once he’s gotten to the end of the garage, all he has to do is climb down onto the fence, and then from the fence to the ground. He could fall, but he never has before. He’s good at this.

Clarke’s house is behind his, and there’s a fence between their yards, but that’s never been a problem. There’s a gap in the fence behind the shed that his mom doesn’t know about, and he can still fit through it.

Getting to Clarke’s window is a little harder. He has to climb up a tree, and the branches are just a little too high. But he’s a good climber, and he wants to see Clarke. If he knocked on the door this late, her parents would worry, and they’d tell his mom, and he’d get in even more trouble.

So he has to improvise.

Her light is out, but he does their special knock, and after just a few minutes, she comes over and opens the window.

“Bellamy?” she whispers, looking worried.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I hate Bart.”

She moves out of the way so he can come in. “I know. What happened?”

“He said my report card wasn’t good enough and sent me to bed without dinner. And Mom let him.”

“You didn’t have dinner?” she asks, sounding horrified.

“No.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Just annoyed.”

“Are you sure?”

He smiles. “Do you actually have any food up here?”

“Not much,” she says. “But I have a candy bar.”

“You have a candy bar and you didn’t eat it yet?”

“I was saving it!” She goes over to her dresser and pulls out a Kit-Kat. It’s fun-size, not a real candy bar, but it’s still good.

“Thanks. Do you want half?”

“It’s okay. I had dinner.” She worries her lip. “Sorry about Bart. I hate him.”

“I hate him too. Thanks for the candy.”

“You’re welcome. Are you going to go home?” she asks. “You could stay.”

“Mom might feel guilty,” he says. “I should go home. If she notices I’m not there, it’ll be bad.”

“I guess. Sorry,” she says again.

“You didn’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry that it’s happening. I hope she breaks up with him soon.”

“She always breaks up with them.” He sighs. “Okay, I should go.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure. I think I’m grounded too, so–I’ll see you when I can.”

“Okay. If you come over tomorrow night, I’ll have some food for you. Just in case.”

He has to smile; Bart might suck, but at least his best friend is great. “Thanks, Clarke. Goodnight.”

“Night, Bellamy.”

ii. fifteen

Nine times out of ten, Bellamy knows better than to fall asleep at Clarke’s, which means that, when he does do it, circumstances must be dire.

Dr. Griffin seems to agree, because she shakes him awake with a weary, “Time to get up, Bellamy.”

Clarke is still asleep, curled into herself on the other side of the bed, and since Dr. Griffin doesn’t try to wake her, he doesn’t either. He slides out of bed carefully, glad he didn’t even take off his jeans, and Dr. Griffin jerks her head to the door.

He follows her into the hall, she closes the door, and they stand for a second in awkward silence.

“Coffee?” she finally offers.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Bellamy has always assumed Dr. Griffin doesn’t understand his friendship with Clarke, in part because he doesn’t understand it himself. It was a mistake of geography, the two of them becoming friends, something that never would have happened if her house wasn’t behind his. They don’t go to the same school, they don’t run in the same social circles.

They’re still best friends.

“You snuck in?” Dr. Griffin asks.

He doesn’t see much point in denying it. “I was worried. I didn’t want her to be alone.”

She nods. “Ordinarily, I’d be telling you sleepovers have to go through me. But—I’m glad you were there for her.”

“Understood.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “How are you doing?”

Her mouth tugs up in a wry half smile. She looks exhausted and wrung out; he assumes she fell asleep crying, the same as Clarke did. “I’m doing the best I can. Thank you for asking.”

He already offered his condolences yesterday, and they felt as hollow then as they do now. He lost his father before he ever knew him, and the pain of that is different from Jake’s death now, today.

“Why don’t you go back up to Clarke’s room?” she asks, to his surprise. “I’ll give your mother a call, let her know you’re here. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

If he made the call, he’d get a talking to, death or no death, but Dr. Griffin should be able to handle it.

Still, her husband just died.

“You don’t have to. I can call her.”

“I think it will sound better coming from me. It’s fine, Bellamy,“ she adds, before he can protest any further. "Go look after Clarke.”

A lump rises in his throat; maybe she doesn’t mind his being friends with Clarke so much after all.

“I will. Let us know if you need anything.”

Clarke’s still asleep when he gets back, so he grabs Graceling off her bookshelf and settles in with his coffee.

She rolls over and curls up against him. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Just wanted some coffee.”

“Did my mom see you?”

“Yeah, it was fine.” He slides his hand into her hair, gentle. “How are you doing?”

“Shitty.”

“I figured. Go back to sleep.”

“Okay. Thanks for being here.”

“Obviously,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere.”

iii. twenty

Bellamy gets home for spring break a week before Clarke does, which always seems unfair. It wouldn’t be that hard for their schools to coordinate so they have the whole vacation together. It would just be polite.

Clarke’s getting back late on Friday, and while he’s sure he could just call her and have her let him in, it seems like a lot of work when he could just climb up to her window.

The light is on and the window is unlocked, so she must have had the same thought.

He taps the glass, just so she has warning, and when there’s no response, he opens it up and slides in.

“If you’re not the neighbor I’m calling the cops,” someone says, and he jerks up to see a gorgeous girl with long, dark hair staring at him.

He scrambles for an explanation for her presence. Clarke is single right now, so it can’t be a girlfriend, and she didn’t mention anyone coming back with her, but there were storms in the northeast, so maybe someone’s flight got canceled.

Either way, she’s already in the room and he was breaking in through the window, so he’s definitely in the wrong here.

“Bellamy, yeah,” he says.

“And this is just your thing.”

He frowns. “What is?”

“You climb into Clarke’s window?”

It feels like a trick question. “Just when it’s after like eight.”

The girl stares at him, then shakes her head. “Wow, you don’t think that’s weird. I thought it must just be Clarke. Nope, you guys are somehow just convinced this is a thing that happens.”

“Did you never watch Clarissa Explains It All?” he asks, but there is this prickling awareness up his neck.

It’s not as if he never thought it was weird. One time, when they were fourteen, he knocked on the window and she called back that she was changing, and he’d thought maybe that was the end, that she’d tell him to never come back. That they’d crossed that mysterious threshold of being too old.

But once she was done, she opened the window with a smile, and the moment passed.

“Dude,” says the girl.

“Sorry, but who are you again?”

“Raven. My flight got canceled.”

“Sorry. Nice to meet you, thanks for telling me my life is weird, I guess.”

“Come on, she said her hot neighbor came in through her window but that it wasn’t a euphemism. Of course I didn’t believe her.”

“Raven,” says Clarke, at the door. It’s just as well, because otherwise Bellamy would have asked if Clarke called him hot, or if Raven was editorializing. Which would not have helped any part of his life, honestly.

“I was just saying. You done with the bathroom?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool, then I’m going to shower. Have fun catching up.”

That’s definitely a euphemism, and Bellamy feels himself flush. “Nice to meet you too.”

Once they’re alone, Clarke bites her lip, smiling a little. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Sorry about her. I told her you’d probably show up and she made a huge deal about it.”

“I guess I could have just come in through the door like a normal person.”

“Fuck that.” She looks him up and down. “Do I get a hug?”

“Oh, yeah, obviously.”

He wraps her up in his arms, and she burrows in, tucking her nose against his neck. She’s freshly showered and smells clean and bright and perfect. They talk, of course, when they’re at school, but he still misses her so much he can’t breathe sometimes.

“This is kind of weird, right?” he murmurs. “She wasn’t wrong.”

"Weird how?”

“I don’t do this with any of my other friends.”

“You don’t live this close to them.”

“I wouldn’t, though. Just you.”

She pulls back, studying him, eyes sharp. He loves her in the easiest way possible, has loved her since before he even knew it. And he thinks he could go on loving her like that for the rest of his life, could love other people too, without feeling guilty about it. It doesn’t have to be anything, but it could be. If it wasn’t, he’d always wonder what it would have been like.

So maybe now is the time to find out.

“Just me?” she asks, and he tucks her hair back behind her ear.

“Sorry, do you have a lot of people climbing in your window?”

She laughs. “No, you’re right. Just you.”

Even though there are probably better things to say, he asks, “Did you tell Raven I’m your hot neighbor?”

“Obviously.”

“Cool,” he says, and kisses her.

It’s just like he hoped it would be.

iv. twenty-five

The window in Clarke’s dressing room is probably too small for him to actually climb through, and even if he could, it would really mess up his tux, but tradition is important, so he does the secret knock and waits for Clarke to call, “It’s bad luck for you to see me, dumbass!”

“There are curtains, I can’t see you.”

“So you’re just hanging outside like a creeper?”

“I wanted to say hi.”

“We’re getting married in an hour. I figured we’d probably get to talk then.”

“This is the last time you’re going to have a window that isn’t mine too, okay?”

They’ve been living together since they finished college, so it’s not as if cohabitation is going to be some new thing for them, but of course, Clarke gets it. Clarke always gets it.

“Okay, yeah. Do you want to come in?”

“Not really, just–for old time’s sake.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll lock yourself out of the apartment and have to knock to get in sooner or later. We’re not losing this.”

“Sorry for trying to do something romantic on our wedding day.”

“You should be.” The curtain moves back, and Clarke opens the door. She’s got a blanket around her shoulders, so he can’t see her dress, just her face. “You’re a dork.”

“I know.” He leans in for a kiss. “That’s all I wanted.”

“Definitely worth the risk of a lifetime of bad luck. Go back to your dressing room. If you don’t make it to our wedding because you were too busy trying to climb in my window, I’m never going to forgive you.”

He gives her one more kiss and pulls back. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t miss it.”

#fanfeminist

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axelsagewrites · 6 years

Text

Isabelle Lightwood*Looking into the future

Requested by anonymous:

Can you write something ansty for Isabelle lightwood x reader like someone flirts with Isabelle and she flirted back by accident. They would get into this big fight if they make up or not it's up to you! I also want to say I love your writing!

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Isabelle Lightwood was gorgeous. Everyone with eyes knew it. Isabelle wore an air of confidence around her that made you tremble in your boots while she could sprint in heels. She was cunning, witty and downright perfect. Well in at least my eyes. Isabelle Lightwood is my girlfriend. I don’t know what I did to deserve her but for some reason she chose me. Honestly, Izzy and I aren’t the same in many ways. She likes fashion and I don’t care, she bold and strong and I'm a wallflower, she has a temper and I’m normally the calmer one. It normally works out since according to her I'm her anchor and I help calm her down. It's not the opposites attract kind of cliché, its just love. No matter how similar or different I think we would have ended up together anyway.

Isabelle had to go on a mission tonight so I decided to go out with some friends who were mundane and didn’t know our world. It wasn’t often I saw them so decided to make the best of the night. I sent Isabelle a good luck text and told her I loved her. I do it every time because I never know when her last mission will be. One of them suggested going to a club. They desperately wanted to go to the pandemonium but it was ‘super inclusive’ and thought we wouldn’t get in. until my phone dinged and they saw my lock screen; a selfie Izzy had taken on my phone in front of the club with me a little behind her. “Whos that?” (Y/F/N) asked, “And who’s Izzy?” they added, referring to the notification that she texted me. “My girlfriend.” My friends ‘ohh’ed as I opened the text. ‘love you too’. “Let's see.” I cautiously showed them the photo again. What were they planning? “Is that the pandemonium? Can she get us in?” (Y/F/N) asked excitedly. I bit my lip. It was a downworlder club, well mainly, some mundies were allowed. They had seen the photo, they wouldn’t let it go anyway. What’s one night? “I can probably get you guys in. I know the owner so it should be fine.” I shrugged. “You know Mattias Kane?” Their jaws slackened and I grimaced at their choice of words. “It's Magnus Bane. And yes.” They didn’t make a move until I reminded them. “We going or what?”

My style had slightly improved since meeting Izzy as she said, often, ‘were not leaving till you change’ or ‘Angel! Alec dresses better than that’. So my clothes had gotten better so I had proper ‘club attire’ according to Iz. We stood in the line but when we got to the front the bouncer gave my mundane friends a strange look. They shoved me to the front so I was face to face with the werewolf. He crossed his arms and stared at me. I had only been a couple times so I doubt he remembers me. “Their guests,” “Of who?” “Magnus Bane,” I could hear their smirks. “if you don’t believe me I could call him out here.” “Go on then”I sensed my friends deflating. They didn’t believe me and neither did he. I smirked and pulled out my phone. I met Magnus through Izzy and when Izzy broke her phone she used mine to call him. she also made me spam him when he broke up with Alec. The bouncer's smirk faltered slightly when he saw me click Magnus’s name but didn’t break character. I held the phone to my ear. One ring Two ring Three ri-“Hello?” the other end was quiet except Magnus' voice. “Hey, it's (Y/N).” “….” The line was silent for a couple seconds. I heard him ask someone something before asking “You're dating Isabelle right?” “Yup.” “What can I do for you? As long as it requires no magic, money or a lot of time or effort as I'm currently watching the bachelor with Alexander.” I heard Alec tell him to shut it and chuck something. I had to chuckle a little. Oh, I was gonna tell Izzy as soon as I saw her. “I'm outside the pandemonium-“ “You go clubbing?!” He suddenly sounded a lot more aware. “Since when? Izzy’s always whining you won't go with her! What in the hell? Are you ok?” “Yes!” I cut him off before he could continue. “Some mates and I are trying to go in but the bouncers got a stick up his arse.” “Donald?” Magnus asked. “You Donald?” I asked the bouncer. He nodded with a straight face and no smirk. “Yup.” “Put him on.” I handed the phone to him and he let us in. just before I hung up Magnus said “Izzy’s always wanting you to go with her. Alec said she's on a mission there. Keep an eye out.” “Ok.”

I didn’t see Iz but I did see the bar. My friends were surprised when they didn’t get carded. I didn’t want to explain it was partly because the guy 2 seats down from us is actually 97, not 16 like he looks. I was pretty much ditched, my friends. Some wanted to dance and the others were flirting with some downworlders. I checked and saw it was some werewolves from Lukes pack so quickly sent one of them a text basically saying not to tell them about the downworld. I wanted a bit of air so I decided to see if the bathrooms were quieter. My heart lurched though as I saw familiar long dark hair enter a closet with some guy. Izzy. I walked over to the door and opened it slowly. Izzy was pressing this random guy against the wall and grinning at something. The guy saw me out the corner of his eye, smirked and began to run his hands over Izzy. She didn’t stop him. “What the fuck?” I whisper, eyes glazing over. Izzy’s head shot in my direction and her eyes bulged. I turn and run. I hear her shout stop and the guy groan. Looking back I see him with a seraph blade protruding out his ribs but I didn’t stop to stare, I kept pushing through the crowd. As I pass one of my friends I grab their beer out their hand. Thank angel it was full. I managed to get out a side door into an alley. A couple was making out and stopped to look at me. I glare. Fuck love. They scuttle off and it wasn’t because of me. I turn and see Izzy standing at the door. “What?” I spit, venom in my voice. I bring the beer to my lips and gulp it down. “Listen, please. I had too. He was a demon and what can I say? You normally understand I need to flirt a little.” I threw the beer bottle at the wall and turn to look at her. “That wasn’t just flirting!” I scream. “You were bloody leaning all over him. he kept touching you and you did nothing!” she flinched at my words. “If I knew that’s what your job was…” I closed my eyes. “What?” she stepped forward. “You don’t trust me?” she asked with disbelief. “You have the nerve to make this my fault!” I can't believe her. “That wasn’t even 2nd base Izz, one more minute and you could have been wearing even less than you are. I don’t care if it's your job,” I lower my voice. “It hurts to see you like that. Someone else's hands all over you.” My voice carries as much venom as before. “I can't believe you lied to me.” “I didn’t lie,” she said hotly, hands on hips. “I told you demons like to see some skin.” “No, Iz,” I said, stony-faced. “Alec told me you dress like that to get more kills. You told me it was your choice what you wore. I respect that. I always have. I don’t appreciate being lied to. You never told me you basically make out with them for a kill.” “I didn’t lie,” “No, you just didn’t tell me,” I yell again but I can't control myself anymore. I run my hands through my hair and sigh. “You don’t get it Iz. Look at me,” I grab her shoulders but she avoids my eyes. “I'm nowhere near your level. You could go out and replace me in seconds. Everyone knows it. Don’t show me what could happen. I cant handle that.” I let her go and walk down the alley to the main street. “You think I’d replace you?” I freeze at her words. “I need you. I want you. You keep me calm, happy, loved,” she walked closer with every step. “you are worth ten of me. Think about it.” I close my eyes tight. I don’t want this right now but my legs seem frozen. “Even my brother approves of you. That’s a lot.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “How can I make you trust me?” “I don’t know,” I whisper. “ it's like looking into the future. What could happen? No ones making you stay. I remember the first thing Jace told me when he saw I liked you,” my heart hurt at the memory. The words still etched in my mind. “’She’ll get bored, she always does, you won't be the shiny new thing forever.’” Yeah, Jace didn’t like me much. “I don’t want new, I want you.” She hugged me from behind. I sighed. “I need time Iz. I just need to think, get some air.” She nodded and pulled back. “I get it. I’ll give you the night to think. But remember, I love you. Its just my job…my job is demanding.” “I noticed,” I mumble as she walks back to the door. “I have to go get my seraph blade. Stay safe.” I turn my head to look at her as she disappears inside. I begin to walk home from the club. I pull my phone out and text my friends. Before I shut my phone off I click Izzy's name. my fingers hover over the keys, not knowing what to type. My fingers begin to move as they normally did. “Stay safe, love you.” The love you was so natural. I paused before sending though. I pressed a few more buttons and sent; ‘Stay safe. Talk later’ I slipped my phone into my pocket and keep walking.

#Isabelle Lightwood #isabellelightwood #isabelle lightwood imagine #shadowhunters #shadowworld #shadowhunter imagine #shadowhunters imagine #platonic alec #platonic magnus #platonic jace

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ohkimani · 7 years

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i try to be a good friend. i really do. im always running around all over the place for everyone doing what i can to make sure all of my friends are just fine but sometimes, like tonight at jessie’s birthday dinner, i was just so annoyed with......,,,,,myself. like it just seemed like i couldnt control myself for like two seconds. i was constantly talking and being flamboyant and just so out there and fucking obnoxious. i dont want to be that friend that’s making the most noise at the table anymore. i hate being the one who cracks a dark joke out of nowhere and everyone just gets super quiet and uncomfortable. i just wish i wasnt so.......,..much(??) i hate it. then why im not my loud obnoxious piece of shit self, everyone is like “what’s wrong why are you being such a bitch blah blah blah” and im like “okay yall literally give me side eyes or dont know how to react to my outlandish statements like all the time what’s wrong now that im not being ugly” you know? i just dont know who to be anymore and i dont know if it’s because i was around so many people i know again or if it’s because i really dont have any self control. i know i talk loud (when im not mumbling) because i have terrible hearing and cant really tell how loud im talking but i dont know if anyone else knows that or cares but either way that’s my fault. there were only 12 of us but now i see my social setting maximum capacity is probably like 7-8 people including myself. i just start trying too hard because im so overstimulated and excited about being around people i know. idk. it didnt make it any better that i thought i looked cute and then when jessie and i walked in, everyone talked about how much skinnier i looked but it’s jessie’s birthday you know? she spent hours going back and forth between her mirror and my room to pick the perfect outfit. i guess im just tired of being that annoying friend and no one ever tells me when im doing something annoying so im sitting there afraid to say anything because there’s a part of my body that’s like “shut the fuck up theyre tired of hearing about that. they’re tired of hearing from you. you’re tiresome. what the fuck are you even doing here.” maybe im falling back into that hole that i was in before but this always seems to follow some big gathering. i just get completely absorbed in all of the wrong i did that previous night and i isolate. like literally right now i dont think i want to go to class this week just because i dont want to see anyone and lose control over myself again because im literally like a fucking dog that sees you and ends up clawing your legs when they try to hop on you. i wish i just...had some sort of filter. like a friend of mine was passing around pictures of a transgender girl at our school and making everyone look at it and pick her apart. the one point in the night when i was serious was right then because that was fucking disgusting. so i told her how i thought what she was doing was wrong and that her gender or transition is no one’s business but her own. but she was just trying to justify herself by saying she has never been exposed to different types of people so she doesnt know how to handle it and what not but i just.....i couldnt deal with it,. then i could tell everyone else at the table felt awkward because i had said something but i was just as mad at them because they were the ones taking the phone from her to look at the pictures instead of refusing or knowing that what they were doing was wrong. so instead i look like the obnoxious SJW friend who always has to ruin everyone’s fun. that was exhausting and at that point i just proceeded to throw the rest of the night away. so i gulped down three more glasses of champagne and let myself go.....as usual. ive noticed myself depending on alcohol a lot more lately. not A LOT more but more than usual. i think it’s because ive found my taste in alcoholic beverages so i just continue to hunt after them like rosé and pink moscato and champagne. greta was talking about how i always drink her entire bottle by myself and as she was saying that, i was pouring myself more champagne. the thing is, im not even sure what im repressing so much now that i have to be some type of intoxicated every single night. it’s been at least 8 or 9 nights and i still havent passed on a drop of alcohol at least before bed. i mean when im with him, i just feel so outside of this world. like when we’re in my room and just being playful and he’s just being himself because im being myself, i dont feel all of the self-conscious and self aware things that go through my head like usual. of course i havent given him all of myself completely but i dont think i have to. i think we both have this unspoken understanding about our minds and emotions. we’re on the same level but he’s much better about smiling at everything meanwhile i contemplate the pleasure of death at least once a day.like fuck, i was sunbathing today and while greta was talking i was literally thinking about how i could kill myself without anyone finding me because im a little more than sure it woudlnt change anything. and i know everyone who says that just seems like theyre looking for attention and validation but it’s just like when mia asked me if there was anything stopping me from going through with it and i said ‘no’ then she asked if i cared about how my loved ones would feel and i finally looked up and made eye contact with her. i could tell she was already worried but when i said ‘why would i care if they cared if im already dead. i wont be able to feel or know anything.’ im still not sure what the point of this all is, honestly. i just tend to rant for hours now because i have no idea who would even care to hear me anymore besides medical professionals who are paid to listen to me. i dont want to be annoying. i just want to close off into a corner and never come out. i know i have to go to class tomorrow but i just already dont feel the strength in my soul to so much as look at another human being. it would be great to just not be seen for a few days honestly. of course i probably wouldnt be able to get away with that considering ‘tall and awkward’ has me on high alert and is down for what ever at any second. i wouldnt feel right just going missing like i usually do because now we have more of a connection than before. it’s also scaring me a lot now too because even as im laying here in bed, i can still smell him on my pillows. i tried to go back to sleep after he left today but i couldnt without his arm around me. that’s what scares me. depending on someone else for some sort of comfort or retreat. what happens when they leave? everyone leaves. i just know something is going to happen with him AGAIN that’s going to make me want to fling myself out of a window or something. then again, as they say, ‘third time’s the charm’. maybe time 3 around will be much better because it already feels better. my problem is feeling like im no longer allowed to say anything more than ‘hi” “bye” “oh really” im sorry” to people i see now simply because i dont want to inconvenience them and force them to be an open ear for me. he;s just too good to be true and losing someone like him at this point for me could be so fucking devastating. and i just mean if we ever ended up have to go back to square one as barely friends. i dont know if i could take that. i havent seen this boy since 10 AM and i feel like there is air blowing through my chest, you know? he’s just become such a great friend first and i know he feels it too. anyway time for me to stop being an annoying little fucking bitch cunt at this point im so tirred. dont read this.

#p #ck

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vinegarcoffin · 4 years

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hi folks. im coming back to this account. a lot of things happened.

this february i ran away from my family’s home to live w/ Sunn (my bf). we were hoping his landlord would let me live there since im his partner and shed previous allowed couples to live there but unfortunately after a week where i was staying there she decided she didnt want me there bc she was very strict about zoning laws and didnt tell anyone abt this beforehand so i was effectively homeless.

i stayed with my friend Earth for abt half a month during which time the landlord was “””deliberating””” whether or not she’d actually let me live there. Sunn and i were sure she’d say yes (she’d indicated such herself) but she decided to spring it on us that, due to laws she never elaborated upon, it was literally illegal for me to live there even though i was his partner and shed allowed partners to stay there before. (i feel i should make it clear that he was living in a separate part of her house that she rented out to people so the laws probably had smth to do with how many people were allowed to live in one house. i still never found out what exactly those laws were and she never elaborated.)

i always had a roof over my head (many times staying illegally w/Sunn and being very sure that his landlord never saw me) but i changed places of residence i think three times during that span of time. it’s very hard to keep count. i was staying (illegally) with three other people (they were aware of my presence and let me stay with them, i just wasnt allowed to) when quarantine happened.

even though I wasnt living with Sunn at that time, i was still able to see him bc my housemates understood the situation and were okay with us breaking quarantine for that reason (we were all rly conscientious abt social distancing and hand-washing and cleaning and that kind of thing), and since i cant drive, i needed someone else to buy my groceries for me, so Sunn would take me on grocery trips with me. and since he had a v small fridge and i didnt have a lot of space for food at the place i was staying, we had to make grocery trips rather often. after going grocery shopping we’d spend some time at either my place or his (ostensibly to put away groceries, really bc we wanted to be around each other because we were both losing our goddamn minds and being around each other was the only thing that gave us any idea where our minds even were.)

i made another unofficial move after that and then right when i was going to graduate, i moved into what was going to be my official long-term place of residence with another roommate. i didnt get to see Sunn very much during this time and i honestly hated it a lot. the roommate was kind of an unstable person and he didn’t take the pandemic very seriously, which rly scared me, but he was never violent or anything so we just stayed out of each others ways.

during that time i impulsively threw away my benzodiazepines bc i was scared i wouldn’t be able to get my therapist to write me another prescription (this was when healthcare was still closed). withdrawals were shit and i honestly wanted to return to this blog during that time but i’d forgotten the email associated with it (whoops) and couldn’t log in. (i’ve since remembered the email hence why im here.) i stopped self harming the same day too, more or less bc my boyfriend told me to stop. that was really hard bc it was one of my few sources of pleasure and i had barely anything else i enjoyed. Sunn introduced me to 100 gecs during this time and i listened to their album 1000 gecs pretty much every day, sometimes multiple times in a row. i didnt get to sleep til 5 AM most nights bc of withdrawals and insomnia resulting therefrom.

in May i finally got to start HRT (i was supposed to in March but the doctors at the LGBT center i had gone to to make my appointment decided not to let me because covid). i’ve been on it for three months now.

i relapsed after a month or so after realizing i was not a functional human when i was sober and i didnt like who i was when i was sober. fortunately by then i’d had a phone meeting with my psychiatrist and she was able to give me another script for klonopin. by that point Sunn had moved into the apartment with me (the agreement was that he’d do so after graduating - we were both graduating that year - the only reason he waited was bc he couldn’t handle moving and his school workload at the same time, which was understandable). he didn’t like that i was relapsing and i disliked it even more but we both understood why i did it and i havent tried to get clean since then and i probably never will.

we were more or less stable and more or less happy for like two months until our roommate - we’d all agreed we’d live there together for at least a year - decided to move in with his partner and left us with absolutely nothing in the way of help w/finding another roommate or anything and no apology at all.

we tried finding a new roommate and got some promising leads until our roommate dropped on us that he had signed a thirty-day notice for the lease to end and unless we were able to give proof of income (which we hadn’t been required to before but were suddenly required to now ig), we’d have to leave. he told us this ten days after he’d done it. he’d done that w/o our knowledge or consent. we weren’t able to make that happen so we looked into other housing but couldn’t find anything before the day we had to be out.

fortunately Earth and their family were willing to let us stay with them again (they’d recently bought a trailer that they were going to keep in the backyard and rent out to anyone they knew who wanted or needed to stay there). the trailer was sort of a disaster; we had no running water (only bc the water wasn’t working, they didn’t keep us in those conditions on purpose) and the AC died during a historically bad heatwave. the place we had been looking into moving into with a REALLY cool roommate we found that said we would probably get to live there turned us down bc although Sunn had found a job by that point and both the prospective roommate and I both have SSI (we’re both disabled) we didn’t make QUITE enough money for them.

we finally found a place and we moved into it yesterday. we have a roommate whose name is Izzy. they’re very stable and i don’t think they’re going to do anything awful. i’m afraid of them but that’s just bc i’m afraid of just about everyone i don’t know too well. Sunn’s at work three days of the week (he works from home two of the weekdays and he gets weekends off) and i’m here to cope with the isolation and also reblog trauma stuff that i don’t feel comfortable reblogging on my main blog. i think that’s all i have to say.

#vinegar.txt #sorry it's long #self harm mention /#drugs mention /#relapse mention /#idk how else to tag...it hasnt been a good year for me.#it hasnt been a good year for anyone but i've had some extra stuff piled onto it that i dont think most people have had

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