Dear Rachel!
I don't know how to exactly ask it without making it sound rude but, do you need someone to talk to about things that bother you? You seem bothered by something
"...!"
"O-oh my, is that how I've been coming off lately? Nothing's really bothering me, I promise! I-...!"
Rachel settled awkwardly into a short, but pensive pause as she struggled to find the words she's looking for.
"...I think I'm just tired lately. I've been staying up far longer than I should, so my sleep schedule isn't the best...
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i don’t know how to articulate it but the doctor asking rose, “how long are you gonna stay with me?” makes me want to break every bone in my body and crush them into dust . here you have the doctor, a near-immortal, asking a question he knows the answer to. he knows any response of rose’s will ring hollow in his reality. two months, ten years, four decades—the numerical value doesn’t matter. the problem with the answer is always going to be that it’s not enough. he knows it, but he asks her anyway because he loves her. he loves her enough to ask.
and rose! beautiful, human rose tells him, “forever” and the doctor smiles so widely that it’s electric. he knows her forever will never be as long as his, but the easy way it fell from her lips…she loves him. she knows she won’t be able to have his forever with him, but she promises her own forever. she gives herself wholly to him. he loves her enough to ask and she loves him enough to answer!!!! isn’t that crazy isn’t it batshit insane to love like this these were literally VOWS!!!!!!
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god . its killing me especially after that sweet ending to the stream just how. fucking awful it is that qjaiden is doing her whole isolation relapse again. and more importantly how Strange it is that she is relapsing
the more i think about it the more im curious if we’ll find out more about what was said or done during those two weeks because. qjaiden WAS doing better. she was letting people in, even post-photo/suspicion incident. up until the last day, she even let baghera in and it went Well
which is why its just. so weird that shes made this sudden flip and decided actually no i cant trust anyone and i need to make another base further away where no one can find me
like what Happened, ?? why the sudden change?? she’s rehashing old traumas and i just dont understand Why Now—
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Thinking of how Bo practically growls at people when she’s fighting, and in combination with a Bosoka line of thinking, how funny that is. You have Ahsoka, the Togruta who’s species evolved to hunt and kill their prey, who keeps a somewhat stoic face while fighting; then you have Bo, the human, who will screech and bare her teeth at whatever she’s fighting.
It’d be like
Imperial soldier 1- “Man that was scary, I didn’t think I’d make it out alive”
Imperial soldier 2- “What happened?”
Imperial soldier 1- “That Jedi showed up with her Mando friend. Felt like I was fighting a wild animal”
Imperial soldier 2- “You have the be careful with Togrutas dude, I heard they’re venomous”
Imperial soldier 1- “I’m talking about the Mando”
Imperial soldier 2- “What?”
Imperial soldier 1- “I think she tried to bite me, man”
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"not to ocpost-" please oc post (as long as you're ok with it) i would love to learn more about holly and chun-run!! (as long as you're ok with it!!)
! oh its absolutely ok, i love being enabled ^w^ kjfngdkjf um um. this is another Entire Thing(tm) that requires Exposition(tm) so um hope youre ready to read More Paragraphs !
the short answer is
the long answer is: i went 'hey i have two* ruina-era ocs, what if i put them next to each other for fun? haha they'd hate each other ^w^' ... 'Oh God They'd HATE Each Other.'
so uh, the exposition.
Holly! You've Never Met Her Before. certainly not. ttttechnically. out of narrative, Holly was originally a branch of what Cocoa's character would have been when I was first developing her. in narrative, Holly is what would have happened if they'd never been picked up by LCorp. she's... an entirely different person, basically.
in essence, if you thought the other one was unstable, Oh Boy(tm). Holly is what happens when the city Actually gets the chance to sink its claws in. it's just this time, she was far, Far less quiet about it. girlies who completely fucking failed their stat check Again. there's only so much 'keep your head down and take it' you can really handle before you're just about ready to tear a bitch apart, and well. Well! anyway.
Holly is another angle of the Human/Monster/Object tangle, in where Cocoa's development hinges on the equivalent of trying to balance several spinning plates and Fucking Up Miserably, Holly has started hurling plates directly into the audience with intent. if you will.
humans are always talking some hot shit about how high and mighty they are, the "value" that comes with just being Human, and yet their entire lives are a horrible, animalistic dance of clawing each other to shreds while hiding behind ideas and roles they themselves put into play, like it's some stupid game. that harm is just an intrinsic part of the human nature. she can't fucking stand it.
essentially, she's an odd argument between the Human and Monster corners of the tangle. not only hates the binds that the city places on them of obligation, but also the ties of human emotion-- namely guilt and connection. that endless dance. she wants nothing more than to shed these ideals completely-- unfortunately, she still intrinsically and unconsciously clings onto them, afraid to let go. a human trying to claw its way out of humanity. it doesn't matter what it takes-- she's not letting this city take her first.
...and then there's Chun-Run.
we just don't know where chun-run came from. but she sure Is, and she's Immediately going to make it a Huge Fucking Problem. being aligned with the musicians of bremen, she has.. very normal views about art, and what it means to be Alive. she's the closest thing to a human time bomb i can think of, probably.
she doesn't have much of a character... honestly kind of intentionally? her entire being is solely rooted in the present, the What Is and the What Will Be. she strives to feel what the pianist's performance invoked that day-- through any means necessary. whatever happens to Her, to anything around her-- none of it matters. first and foremost, she is a conduit. it's all secondary to that singular experience.
horrifying. painful, disgusting. striking, poignant, pungent. it makes her sick to think about, but some part of her wishes she was closer to truly Feel it. its repulsive– but she Needs to hear it again. to witness, to experience. what is it– what was it? to grasp onto an ephemeral feeling she physically cannot understand– frustrating, frustrating. but she Needs to. to make the soul sing, cry out in reverence... to call it a Song is almost insulting.
so you have the worlds most unstable walking contradiction with absolutely no outlet and an unidentified fucking thing intent on wringing some undefineable meaning from the soul through physical violence.
so like, moth meet flame.
chun-run is pretty much Instantly infatuated with holly-- but for the Entire Wrong Reasons. it's pretty much "Yeah I Could Make Her Worse." all the way down, but expressed entirely through Murder. yknow, girl things. and holly, of course, fucking hates this are you for real right now??? shut the fuck up about reaching Art through Violence there is something WRONG WITH YOU. chun is entirely convinced that she's what will harmonize closest to that sound she's chasing-- that dissatisfaction, desire, rage... it's so painfully close. and yet she refuses to acknowledge that spark! refuses to engage entirely! is it not the nature of the soul to sing? so sing girl, sing.
girlies who are trying to claw their way back to stability and girlies who want nothing more than to burn to ashes in a beautiful blaze of Being. in conclusion:
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ts is the most narcissistic person I know, she apparently relaunched her old albums and called them the taylors version like wtf? and people spend actual money in it!?!?!?
idk enough abt the music industry to comment on her reselling her albums but i think it was smth like she didnt get revenues from them anymore or smth so she had to redo them and get money from that idfk.. some story like that i have no idea, like. i dont mind that as much as the entire fucking. "i am the victim in every scenario all the time" like that entire complex is nauseating, like she'll say "i grew up in a farm nothing fancy" or whatever and the house she used to live in was a fucking mansion growing up.
i will give her this tho.. she and her team are excellent capitalists and know VERY well how to manipulate her fanbase and the media searches like apparently her CURRENT bf is a nazi and dished some black musician so she is collabing w that musician right now to cover up that like its soooo. blatantly PR move after PR move she is the embodiment of white feminist capitalism and she thrives on that oof.
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