#she was literally just a tool and kind of destined to die
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Winnie’s relationship with the mobsters in this au
Wally Warren darling:Since he’s quite literally the man in charge and he’s Winnie’s dad he’s the most important person in his late teenage life since Winnifred was in foster care before he joined the family although while he was indeed adopted he and Wally are very much blood related and he got to inherit and join the family by default even though Winnie was hesitantly willing to join in…like as if he had a choice
Howdy and Barnaby 💙the uncles💚:both of these guys are now officially his bodyguard’s now as well until the day Winnie gets his own bodyguards uncle Barnaby is like that one crazy uncle who despite being a jokester is literally the biggest bad influence you’ve ever met while howdy is very calm and collected plus he would probably die for Winnie especially since the boss would probably kill him if he ever left him to die for any reason so of course he’s loyal to him
poppy: is the only mother figure in his life right now since his bio mom passed away a longtime ago and she is exactly the kind of mother he needs right now even if she is easily scared in fact he doesn’t even mind at all
Julie and sally:loves the both of them as his aunts granted Winnie isn’t necessarily experimenting on but he is secretly wishing that she would let him barrow her surgical tools or at least a needle due to him being fascinated by them and the potential for violence he can use them for as for sally…he just adores her energy and her explosives
frank and eddie:Winnie and frank are not necessarily close especially on Winnifred’s end however frank is actually surprised that he came from a foster home and wasn’t a preplaned heir to the family as for Eddie he doesn’t mind him although Winnie finds it odd that they kept him around and wonders if he might ever leave from time to time
Robbie and the doc:He absolutely loves robbie as a wacky uncle and is one of the many reasons he realized he was definitely destined to be a man and was a strong source of reassurance other than howdy and daddy dearest (Barnaby doesn’t know he’s transmasc and not a cis boy) although he hasn’t met the doc at all yet daddy dearest says he’s not allowed to just yet
HOME:he saw them in a vision once…he’s scared shitless of that…thing
Art belongs to @clownsuu
#agirlwithmagicpals#welcome home#wally darling#welcome home au#welcome home mob au#Yes he can have visions…he is cursed after all🖤🤍🩶#au of an au#au ocs#lavenderverse#clownsuu#oc hcs#au related#au artwork#Winnifred Jackson darling#tw eye imagery#bisexual characters#trans masc#barnaby b beagle#howdy pillar#frank frankly#eddie dear#frank and Eddie#juile joyful#sally starlight#poppy patridge#robbie#the doc#welcome home home#Mob!winnie might be trans and bi but not in the main canon of my au tbh
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I keep thinking about Silmarillion, and I was wondering : what do you think of Fëanor ?
I don’t know exactly how it should be seen...
Ooh, Fëanor. Gosh, okay, let me change the channel in my brain.
Fëanor is, at heart, a Capitalist Inventor. He's Dark Tony Stark. He creates endless things for the world to use, but what truly drives him is the bone-deep belief that he and his chosen ones deserve his most prized possessions more than anyone else. And he's willing to kill anyone on both sides to get them back. He swears an oath to fight until he gets what he wants, and thus seals the doom of untold thousands he'll never even meet.
That's an antagonist. Which is not the same thing as a villain. But Fëanor is very much an experience to be survived - or not - rather than any kind of ally. Much of what he does in the Silmarillion is imbalanced, driven by emotions he doesn't seem willing or able to control. And because he's an elf among elves, and they all live a very very long time, the effects of his choices carry forward for thousands of years. This one dude got a lot of people killed, directly and indirectly, including his whole family. For an elf was supposed to love the stars, he wasn't very stellar. Our Man in Valinor was way more into fire.
The part that bothers me about his character - and this is a modern take looking back at JRR Tolkien and his world in the last millennium - is that Fëanor is born this way. He is flawed from birth, and he's just Like That, forever. No chance to change, no encouragement to be different, to be softer, to be better, to corral his spirit of fire into something more light than heat. He's just dangerous chaos from start to finish. He comes into the world sucking his mother's spirit dry so she dies, he lives his life disagreeing with everyone around him except his sons, and he goes out encouraging those sons to hold to their unholy oath to retrieve the Silmarils or die trying. Which they do - the "die trying" part, anyway.
He's a piece of work.
He was also a brilliant, god-tier craftsman. I guess that's what happens when you study under the Vala Aulë himself, who literally shaped the physical world into existence.
He created the Silmarils, capturing the combined light of the Two Trees into three brilliant gemstones in a way no one ever did before or since.
He crafted the palantíri, which not even Sauron could replicate later.
He invented Tengwar script, which is the swirly elven writing we all associate with Middle-Earth.
He crafted the mysterious Feanorian lamps, which are crystals that emit blue light and cannot be doused.
He was constantly thinking up new ideas and crafting them. Eru only knows what he made that has been lost. You'll notice none of these things he made are swords. Yet he led an attack against the Teleri on his way out of Valinor, and the Teleri defended themselves, so I kind of assume he was also a weaponsmith, trying out new ideas in metal form if nothing else.
Brilliant and misguided, a flawed juggernaut, destined to drag the entire world and countless lives off course. The earlier these characters show up in the timeline, the more destructive chaos they end up causing.
I do not like Fëanor. He's a White Guy, doing as he pleases with no thought for the consequences, to himself, to those of his family he actually likes, or to anyone else. He holds enough privilege and power that people keep following him into disaster, and then he just goes and does it again, without learning a damn thing from his imbalanced approach. He even dies thinking he did nothing wrong ever in his life. Like... Bitch.
Having power is no guarantee that you deserve power, and Fëanor is a prime example of why.
This has nothing to do with the objects he made. Those are just tools, free to be taken and used for good or evil, as the palantíri were, and as every message ever written in Tengwar was. Would the world have been better off without the Silmarils at all, or the palantíri? Would a different language script have somehow altered the world for the better? Since it's fiction, we could just decide that Yes, Yes It Would, or No Actually Not.
What's not fictional is my distaste for presumptuous assholes with a bit of power but no self-awareness, because I've already met too many of them who weren't fictional, either.
You want my unvarnished opinion of Fëanor? He's a billionaire. And I'm glad he got eaten. It wasn't nearly soon enough.
Eat your billionaires before they get all crusty, kids. They taste best fresh and plump. Nom nom.
Still here? Oh, then it's time to compare Fëanor to TDP! Because as much as I despise him, he makes for excellent storytelling angst and conflict, and vicarious conflict is how we learn to avoid it in our real lives - if we're paying attention.
I've said before that I'd like to see some kind of Oath of Fëanor effect in TDP. The absolute horror at seeing good characters get yoinked into bad deeds just because they promised? Ahahaha, horrible, thank you, I'll have some more. If the Moonshadow assassins have something like that behind those creepy binding ribbons, I'm gonna be cackling in between my tears, fam.
But Fëanor himself? Oh, do you see, that's Aaravos! He's even got that craftsman side, since he made the relic staff, and boy is it swirly.
(Does that make Ethari a Celebrimbor type, separating himself from the dark deeds of his forebears yet still massively talented, creating amazing magical devices?)
Aaravos is the main villain of TDP, as far as we've been told. He's crafty, in both senses of the word. Did he have some angsty complex family life with half-siblings and a mother who died because she birthed him? Maybe. Stars can be born from the detritus of other stars that exploded and died, so there's a sciencey metaphor there already.
Of interest: Fëanor had seven sons, and the world of TDP has seven kinds of magic. Aaravos created at least one of them. Did he create primal magics too, from the deep magic that came before? Might there be some kind of oath involved there, with the first elves to wield differentiated magic?
How about those primal stones that look like palantíri? How many of those did Aaravos craft? Can he use one from his library to spy on people who have them or something? That would mean he could already know a ton about Viren even before he came to the Storm Spire and stole the mirror. Woah.
What about a Silmaril equivalent? Are there especially glorious magical gemstones in Xadia? Did Aaravos wear them in his crown and now he's mister Grumpy Glam without them?
Did he create the original runes that diverged into all the elven languages? With his sloppy handwriting? Heh, the other elves must've been very patient.
You know... Aaravos has been called a Promethean figure, gifting humans with knowledge and skill they didn't have. But that gift was the gift of fire. A tool. A tool employed by craftsmen.
Fëanor literally means "Spirit of Fire."
In the end, Fëanor was consumed by his own spirit. He never learned to vibe with it, and it destroyed him and many others. Sounds a lot like dark magic.
Maybe the real Oath of Fëanor in TDP is one you have to speak backwards.
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Almost A Thousand Years - Witch Hunt | Hisirdoux Casperan
Plot: You’ve known Hisirdoux Casperan for almost a thousand years. You’ve hated him for almost a thousand years. And for almost a thousand years, you’ve been cursed to feel each others pain. But somewhere in that time, things changed. [Hisirdoux Casperan x Mostly Gender Neutral but Probably Female Presenting Based on How Historical Men Treat Them!Reader]
Word Count: 4,463
Warnings: i swear some more and uh... i can’t really give a warning, it’s spoilers. you’ll probably like it tho, i promise
A/N: today’s a/n shout out goes to @furblrwurblr for drawing femboy hooters douxie and fucking cursing me
Taglist: @furblrwurblr @rainningdoom @fluffydmonkey @blondie0458 @sitherin-mxschief @jinxedleo @lawlesshedgehog @einahpetsyarcip @dolphincommander
Back | Next
“I told you the boy was bad news Master,” past you said with way too much pride in their voice for your liking.
“Oh, would you shut up?”
“So you’re me from the future, then? Tell me, how do you end up travelling time with the likes of that git?”
“Oi, shut your mouth you little-” Douxie put his hand over your mouth, effectively shutting you up for the time being.
“Calm down (Y/N), please,”
Both you and your past self said “No,” in unison. It would have been funny in literally any other situation, but alas, this was what fate handed to you.
“All of you, silence! Have you any idea what you’ve done? I knew my apprentice was an ignoramus, but travelling through time? Time!”
You felt a very strong urge to scream, but fortunately, Douxie was doing the talking.
“I think we handled ourselves just fine, all things considered. And technically, it was your idea,”
“Damn right,”
“Well, then, you must have botched it up! My planning is flawless!”
“For the record, Master, I had nothing to do with this. He did, which is me, and… ugh! Time travel, so confusing!” past Douxie was awake, and you decided right then if anyone said anything else you were going to knock him, your past self, and Merlin unconscious just for some peace and quiet.
“Aah! The timelines are in complete disarray!”
Oop, that counted as saying something, “They’re about to be in more disarray,”
“Seriously, (Y/N), calm down,”
“Don’t you talk to me… us? Like that!” past you was a little confused, but they still had the spirit. It was the wrong kind of spirit, but spirit nonetheless. You sighed, knowing that Douxie was right.
“No, (Y/N)? Me? Whatever. He’s right, I just need a second,”
Past you froze in absolute shock while Douxie's past self decided to relish in the fact that you were wrong.
Present Douxie didn’t have a lot of patience for this, “Look, both of you, quiet down for a second. Master, I can fix this, I swear!”
“Ah-ah, your meddling has already wreaked enough havoc on history!”
“Then surely we can use the time map to change things back, and then it’ll all be as it was,” Archie said as you, your Douxie and the familiar surrounded Merlin, your focus on the time map in your former master's hands.
“It doesn’t work that way. The map only offers glimpses of possible futures! There are no detailed instructions,”
“Oh come on, it’s not that bad,” Douxie said, reaching towards the device before Merlin slapped his apprentice’s hand away causing both of your hands to sting.
“Ow. Look, life doesn't come with instructions, and we live through it every day without causing too much damage. We can manage this! It’ll be fine,”
“Not that bad, eh? It’ll be fine, eh!?” Merlin said before revealing just what the time map had to show you.
King Arthur was on the ground, dead. Needless to say, that was not good.
“Oh, fuzzbuckets,” Both Douxies and your past self said.
“Oopsie,” you grimaced at the consequences of your actions.
“Your little dungeon break must have changed fate! Now, unless I stop it, the king will die!”
Merlin stormed out of the room, off, probably, to fix your mistakes. Beside you, your Douxie groaned, bracing himself against the table. You put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.
“Seriously, how can you stand to touch him?”
It was your turn to groan. You didn’t even look at your past self as you responded, “Because he is my friend and I care about him,”
It may have been a risky statement, one that could doom both you and your wizard, but the smile on Douxie’s face was worth it.
“I don’t understand, how can you-”
Douxie cut off his past self, “You’ll understand when you’re older. Now, you two stay here, we have to go,” he grabbed your hand, and you left to find Claire or anything else that would help save the future. Whichever came first.
It was Claire. Claire came first. You could hear the knights cheering from your place in the shadows. The noise was a decent cover-up for your conversation.
“They’re hunting Jim! If they catch him, he’ll be killed!”
“I know, and he’s not the only one. Because of us, Arthur’s now fated to eat the big one, too!”
“Eat the what? Oh, no, was I supposed to bring food?”
“He’ll be eating a death sandwich, Steve,”
“Ugh, who would eat that? Gross,”
Douxie groaned, but you couldn’t help but laugh a little. Times were tough, but that didn’t stop you from admitting that Steve absolutely had a point.
“Look, if Arthur dies, we lose the Battle of Killahead and the war,”
“Which will probably mess up time so much, you’ll never be able to return home,” Archie said, pawing his way around your hiding space.
“At least, not our home,” you glared at the ground, as if the dirt was the reason the world was at stake.
“Oh no! Toby!”
You looked up at the time map just in time to see the War Hammer disappear into a blue mist. That could not be a good sign.
“What’s happening to him?”
“The future- our future, is vanishing!”
“There’s gotta be a way to fix this,” you said, using the time map, searching through time to find something that would save your home. Among the red, there was a moment of blue. You paused as an image of Arthur and Morgana getting along flashed into the sphere.
“What’s that?” Claire asked before you had the chance to ask the same thing.
“Well, that wasn’t there before. It’s a new timeline, one where Arthur and Jim live,”
“And Morgana’s the hero? I thought she was destined to become Mistress Doom,”
“No, you’re thinking Mistress of all Dark Magic. Mistress of Doom is… something else,”
“What?” Douxie paused, looking at you with vast amounts of suspicion.
“You’d be surprised by some of the house calls I’ve made. Now, keep talking,”
Douxie shook his head, but he was smiling. Good. You loved that smile.
“It looks like there’s a possibility if we get Arthur and Morgana to reconcile, then somehow, nobody dies,”
“I don’t think I have to say that that’s the outcome we want!”
You took a moment just to look at Douxie’s face. In this small moment of victory, which was over too soon, he looked happier than you’d seen him in a while. Of course, you never saw his face when he looked at you.
“Squire Steve! We are all thirsty!” and bam, moment over. Thanks, Gallahad.
“I’ll keep an eye on Morgana. Douxie, you work on Arthur. (Y/N), Steve, make sure they don’t kill my boyfriend,”
“We’re on it. Don’t die out there, guys,”
“We won’t,” Douxie said, taking one last look at you before he ran off. You and Steve did the same.
About a minute in, you could feel things going wrong. Your chest hurt as if you’d crashed to the floor. It wasn’t awful, so you ignored it and kept moving forward, following Steve and the knights and making a mental note to make sure Douxie was ok when you had time. A smirk made its way onto your face when said wizard knocked his past self out. You couldn’t imagine that it was good for him, but if he could still perform magic, he was ok.
And after that, things were okay.
At least for you.
Douxie was having a difficult time getting Arthur to listen to him. Magic, as always, turned out to be a useful tool. The king and his sister began their reconciliation, but something was troubling him. He saw the way they looked at the illusion of Gweneviere. They had both loved her. Arthur even called Gwen “the heart of him,” and they had lost her. He could see the grief on their faces, how it killed the king and weighed down the sorceress was clear to anyone who looked at them the right way.
This was not the first time Douxie contemplated his fear of losing you. He’d been afraid of that for a long time, and one could say that he was used to the familiar sense of anxiety that made itself at home within him whenever you were in danger. But now? Now he looked at the faces of the royal family and realized that losing you would completely destroy him.
Douxie was already a selfless person, one who would sacrifice everything he was to save the world, but right then, he decided that he would sacrifice the world to save you. You were the world to him.
But he couldn’t focus on that right now. He had a job to do.
So did you. And Steve was not making it any easier.
“Kill the beast!”
“Wait, kill? I thought this was catch and release!”
“Oh, my g- ok, come on, Steve,”
You grabbed the boy by his armour and dragged him along as you followed the group, stopping dead when you reached the troll that the guards spoke of.
Arthur’s men had slung chains around the creature, restricting its movement to next to nothing. You were not okay with this.
“Squire Steve, will you do the honours?” Lancelot asked, tossing his sword to the boy.
The boy whimpered, very obviously uncomfortable with this. He turned to you, eyes desperately searching for instructions on what to do in this situation. You shook your head, trying to get across that needless murder should probably be avoided.
Whether or not Steve got the message, you would never know. The troll jumped at the teen. You jumped in front of him, creating a shield with your magic, and Arthur jumped in front of you, swinging a sword at the troll and putting himself in some pretty needless danger. You couldn’t talk on that subject though. When it came to needless danger, you were freaking royalty.
“Careful, young squire, witch,” he spat out your title like it was a curse, “Show these beasts no sympathy,”
He kicked the troll into the sunlight, turning it to stone instantly. You looked on with disappointment as the guards cheered.
Behind you, Steve whimpered again. You turned, hoping to provide some comfort, or calm the kid down at least, when you froze, your blood running cold. Behind Steve stood Bular, aka the Troll who kept trying to kill you.
“Shit,”
The Gumm-Gumm prince knocked Steve aside, advancing and attacking the guards. He hadn't noticed you yet, and you intended to keep it that way, staying out of the troll's field of view, and going after Steve instead. You helped the boy up and off the ground. He wasn't injured, but you realized that the king was about to be.
Before you could do anything, Douxie and Merlin had things under control, saving Arthur and taking out the troll prince. You breathed a sigh of relief. If things went well, Bular wouldn’t see you. Very few things ever went well, but you had your fingers crossed.
And it worked! For once, things went your way. Arthur knocked the Gumm-Gumm out with a kick to the face. Sure, he said some very menacing and antagonistic things right after, but you had no thoughts in your head other than, “Well, that was convenient,”
You watched the guards take Bular away, taking note of Morgana questioning who the real monster was. If Bular hadn’t tried to kill you and your friends and hadn’t successfully gotten you tortured a couple decades ago, you might have agreed with that. Unfortunately, he had.
You hadn’t realized that you’d lost yourself in memories until Douxie said your name.
“-(Y/N), are you alright, love?”
“I-” you watched them take the troll out of sight, “I will be,”
Your wizard took one of your hands, squeezing it, “I’m right here if you need me,”
“I know,”
It was silent for a moment. Then you heard the knights calling Steve.
“I should go,”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,”
“But I should. Someone needs to make sure that kid doesn’t run into any more high ranking Gumm-Gumms,”
Douxie seemed hesitant, but he respected your choice, “Stay safe,”
“You too,”
From the corner of her eye, Morgana watched you and Douxie. She wasn’t focused on it, per-say, but she did find it odd. Were Merlin’s apprentices not constantly at each other’s throats? She ignored it for now and moved on.
Things went decently for you after that. The forest was peaceful, the knights were quiet. Everything was chill until Steve decided to walk through a trap. You weren’t sure why he didn’t just stop. Kids these days, honestly.
You winced as the arrows hit his armour and his skin. Beside you, Gallahad and Lancelot were absolutely losing their shit. You had to admit, it was kind of funny, but you were also concerned for your friend. You put up a shield around him, sheltering the teen from any further arrow-related damage. Needless to say, the knights were very disappointed.
“Oh, come on, now! Don’t spoil all the fun,”
“It was fun for the first minute. Now I’m concerned for his health,”
“Really? Merlin’s witch apprentice showing concern? Well then, we’ve found something rarer than the holy grail!”
You took a moment, keeping up your shields as the king and his guards moved through the trap, Lancelot and Gallahad now supporting Steve.
It was weird to see how much you’d changed. Talking to your past self had been surreal, and a decent reminder of what a little shit you had been, but you hadn’t considered the specifics. Past you was a scared kid doing what their king told them to. Under Gunmar, you didn’t have any interests or hobbies outside of getting stronger and staying alive. Even after you left, you really didn’t start to become who you were now for a few centuries. You'd been scared that the Gumm-Gumms would come for you at any moment, and that fear wouldn't leave you until at least the fifteen hundreds. You suddenly felt enormous amounts of guilt weighing on your shoulders. Guilt about what you’d forced your past self to go through, that you never got a childhood worth having, that you hadn’t been a person for so long that it took centuries to take a real interest in something. And you felt guilty about how you’d treated other living things. You knew now that everyone who could be saved deserved saving, but the child you were in the twelfth century didn’t know that.
But you couldn’t fix the past, even though you were now reliving it. The only thing you could do was forgive yourself.
And so you did.
Then you ran after the knights to see if Steve was okay.
He was. Teenagers are surprisingly resilient, that’s how they can do dumb things and not die. You counted Steve coming out of that trap mostly unscathed as a win. What wasn’t a win was Lancelot spotting Jim and Callista, looking at what appeared to be Jim’s phone.
You had no idea if that would affect the space-time continuum, but what would affect you personally was your friends getting shot. And Lancelot was aiming a crossbow at them. Great.
Beside you, you could hear Steve’s internal panic. This time he didn’t turn to you, instead, he chose to act, smacking the crossbow out of the knight’s hands. The arrow still fired, but there was still time. You put a spell on the arrow, knocking it off course a little more and lessening the impact. However, there was still an impact. You could hear as much from the trolls below you.
Lancelot lined up another shot, but Steve knocked the weapon aside again, and you used your magic to push the crossbow out of reach. It didn’t do much, but it bought your friends some much needed time. The knight thrust the crossbow at Steve, clearly frustrated.
“What if we just let this one go?” Steve’s efforts were admirable, you’d give him that much
“You never let them go,”
Lancelot turned away from you to face the king, who was rallying his soldiers.
You put a hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Hey, you did a good thing, kid,”
“Thanks, (Y/N),” Steve’s voice shook slightly, and you felt awful. If you had time, you probably would have hugged him, told him everything was going to be okay, and maybe adopted him, but right now, you had to find some way to protect Jim.
The knights ran off, leaving you and Steve watching them go.
Douxie and Merlin came out of the bushes, clearly in pursuit of the king. They called out to him before running off again.
“C’mon Steve, we have to follow them,”
The boy, who was still shaken, nodded, following behind you as you ran after everyone else.
Things were not going well. Morgana and Arthur were fighting, knights were surrounding the area, and Lancelot was firing arrows at children.
Claire was skilled enough to fend for herself, scaring Lancelot, but before the knight could say anything that everyone would regret, Steve knocked him out with a large rock. You were a bit surprised, but also very pleased.
“Whoa, man, that troll- that came out of nowhere! Right guys?”
Lancelot woke, only for Steve to hit him again. You were very proud.
“Nice one, Steve!”
“Thanks! Uh, can you do your doctor thing? Make sure I didn’t kill him?”
You kind of doubted that Lancelot had been killed by the rock, but head trauma exists in every century, so you nodded and began your assessment. You managed to focus up and do your work, ignoring the clanging metallic noise of the battle before you. Then the pain hit you. It was like you’d been thrown back into a tree, but that hadn’t happened, so what was- Douxie!
You rushed your assessment, focused on the ache in your spine, “He isn’t dead, Steve, you’re in the clear,”
The teenager punched the air, saying something that you weren’t paying attention to.
“Sorry, kid, I’ll be right back,”
That was kind of a lie. You weren’t sure when you’d be back.
You made your way to Douxie’s side, helping him up as Morgana sent a beam of gold magic into the sky, before bringing it down on the earth like a whip. Your wizard pulled you close to him, trying to shield you from the magic. Had she been paying attention, Morgana would have declared this officially strange, but at the moment she was fighting her brother and former mentor.
You, Claire and Douxie thought it would be a good idea to try and reason with the angry sorceress.
“Stop! We found another way!”
“It doesn’t have to be like this!”
“We can do this peacefully!”
“The time for peace ended long ago,”
“Morgana,” Claire called out, “He’s not the enemy,”
Morgana continued to rant, but you were a little distracted by the fact that she was now flying. It wasn’t the best choice either of you had made, but you and Douxie got closer, just in time for the sorceress to cast a spell, creating shadow-like clones of herself.
“Oh, buckets,” Douxie said as shadow-clones appeared before all of you.
“Yeah, that,” you drew your sword. There wasn’t much left to do but fight.
Unfortunately, you were in the minority when it came to having a weapon. You watched as your friends struggled and dodged, eventually backing away, but wherever they went the shadows followed (as shadows are wont to do.)
Your small group found their way to a cliff, overlooking the ocean. You recognized this place, but you weren’t sure how.
You could hear Merlin call for someone to protect the king, but you were a little busy fighting for your life at that moment.
Somehow, you found an opening and sliced through the clone. You only enjoyed your victory for a moment before Douxie was thrown to the ground, causing you both to wince from the pain. You were about to make your way over to him when Arthur pointed his sword towards the sky, drawing a spell into the blade and releasing it into the ground, knocking everyone back and banishing the shadow-clones.
Douxie helped you up before you both ran to get the time map. The sphere flickered from red to blue. You looked out into the sunset and suddenly realized where you recognized this place from.
Morgana’s name left your lips and Douxie’s at the same time. The time map’s sphere showed the sorceress’s body.
You and your wizard ran towards the duelling siblings in a last attempt to stop them, but you were once again blown back.
You screamed as Morgana fell off the cliff for the second time in your life.
You couldn’t remember walking back to the castle.
You knew you must’ve done it because you would remember being carried back, but you didn’t know how you got from the cliff to Camelot.
And now Claire was talking, “She’s gone. We failed,” as if you needed reminding.
“No,” Douxie’s voice came from beside you, “I failed. Master, I-I’m so sorry,”
“This is why you don’t meddle with time,”
You didn’t even sass Merlin about how this was his idea. You were out of sass at the moment. Your head was full of static as you tried to process things.
“But I tried, I tried to fix it,” Douxie fell to his knees, his eyes on the still flickering time map.
Correction, your brain was full of static and heartbreak. You knelt beside your wizard, putting your hands on his shoulders as he focused on the time map.
“Don’t you see, boy? There is no ‘fixing’ anything, Every change has consequence. Knowing the future is a responsibility to bear with caution, lest you cause the worst things to happen,”
You couldn’t look Merlin in the eye. Even as he walked away, you didn’t watch him go.
“Morgana’s dead, Excalibur's broken. This never happened,”
“We are in uncharted territory,” Archie said, coming closer to you and Douxie, allowing the wizard to pat him.
The pain in your chest was his. The utter anguish he felt over failing to fix things stabbed through you. And it wasn’t just that. He had failed Claire, and Steve, and Jim. He had failed Merlin, and Toby and Camelot. But the worst thing was he had failed you. He had destroyed your future, and now you were stuck here. The very thought of it ripped through him, and you felt all of it.
You bit your lip, just then realizing what that day was.
As if he realized what was to come, Archie took a few steps back, wandering away from the two of you.
“Hey, Doux,” he turned to look at you, the sorrow in his eyes eating you alive, “This was the night. In our timeline, anyway,”
“What?”
“Where was that fight again? Merlin’s study? The staircase? The throne room?”
“(Y/N)?”
“If we wait outside, do you think we’ll see it happen?”
The pieces fell into place for him, too.
“I don’t even know if it will,”
You waited a moment.
“Who knows. We hated each other enough, we might still get cursed,” The joking tone in your voice made you both smile, even though it didn’t reach your eyes.
“Seriously, though, Douxie. I think whatever bond Merlin gave us, I-” you took a deep breath, knowing that what you said next would definitely damn you both. But that didn’t matter. He needed to hear this.
“I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You are the best thing that ever happened to me,”
Douxie looked surprised, only for a second, before his eyes cast their gaze to the ground, to the time map that sat closed on the floor. “Are you sure?”
His voice was so quiet you barely heard him, and it was so sad, so scared, that you could feel your heart shatter into a million pieces right then and there, “Yeah,” your voice felt like it would break at any minute, “Yeah, I’m sure,”
Your predictions were correct. Your voice broke and tears came to your eyes, much to your embarrassment.
“(Y/N),” Douxie turned his body towards yours, taking your face in his hands, “You-” he took a second, also feeling that his voice would fail him at any minute, “You mean everything to me, and I-I ruined your future. We don’t have a home to go back to, and it’s my fault, I-”
“Douxie,” you cut him off, “As long as I’m with you, I’m home. If we have to, we’ll just build a new future, together,” you ran a hand through his hair. This was it. This is what was going to kill you, “I love you, Hisirdoux Casperan,”
There was silence.
And then his lips were on yours.
Do you remember the kiss in the 80s? Yeah, that was child’s play compared to this.
Your lips fit together perfectly, his hands glided over your back, pulling you closer to him. Your hands held his face, swiping away at the tears that threatened to fall. You found your bottom lip captured between his. A gasp escaped you when he bit down. It wasn’t enough to draw blood, but it was enough for your heart to race a little faster, if that was even possible, and tighten your grip just a little. You could almost feel his pulse racing, and you were absolutely certain he could feel yours. Your last kiss had been everything in your past, but this kiss was your future. It was a promise that no matter what came next, you would face it together.
And then you remembered exactly what it was that your future held.
T'was a mood killer.
You broke the kiss, almost unwillingly and definitely wanting more, but Douxie had been right. He should know what, “I don’t want to kill you anymore,” meant.
Also, there was a loud crash and bright lights from one of the towers, and that was pretty distracting.
“Those damn kids. Did we really fight so much?”
That almost got a laugh from you, but you had something else to focus on right now. You rested your forehead against his for a moment, just breathing for a second before your spoke, your voice low, “Douxie, I have to explain some stuff,”
“What is it, darling?”
“You were right, there’s some stuff you should know. Doux, I think now is later,”
You bit your lip before standing and motioning for him to follow you into the castle, “Let’s go,”
#hisirdoux x reader#hisirdoux casperan x reader#douxie x reader#douxie imagine#hisirdoux imagine#almost a thousand years#aaty#hisirdoux#hisirdoux casperan#douxie#toa douxie#toa hisirdoux#angst#fluff#kissing
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Hey, sorry to be a bother but do you know any metas about Driftwood and the mythological significance of have Stranger called such? If not, could you please help me find any metas about the importance of Stranger (the horse and the god) to Sandor's future? Thank you!!
It’s no bother at all. I love talking about this stuff. I don’t recall any other metas specifically on that topic, but I do go into the meaning of Driftwood/Stranger in Part VI of my Winds prediction essay for Sandor. I’m staying narrowly focused on your question here, but mythological significance branches out much farther and features heavily throughout each section of that essay if you have any further interest.
And the seventh face … the Stranger was neither male nor female, yet both, ever the outcast, the wanderer from far places, less and more than human, unknown and unknowable. Here the face was a black oval, a shadow with stars for eyes. It made Catelyn uneasy. – Catelyn IV, ACOK.
Of the Seven, the Stranger is the one most regarded with fear for his/her association with death and the unknown. He/she’s either depicted as a shrouded half-human, half-animal, or with a blacked-out void for a face. Sandor has that thematic aesthetic going on with his hound’s head helm, which gives him the appearance of being both a man and a beast. That is a reflection of the duality of his identity between Sandor and the Hound. He frequently enters a scene by stepping out from the shadows, so he also fits with the shadowy figure version. Sandor also isn’t one to allow others to know his true self, at least until Sansa, Arya, and the Elder Brother. Rarely does any worshipper pray to the Stranger as few are eager to invite death itself in, of course. It’s no wonder that the outcasts of society might identify with that lonely aspect of being an unwelcome presence and having nowhere to belong.
For Sandor to give his horse such a blasphemous name, it’s because he views himself as someone who is feared and misunderstood, and as an outsider who stands on the outside looking in at the world. This is especially true as he is immersed in the culture of knighthood but emphatically rebels against it. There is much of ordinary life that is closed off to Sandor, and it’s not all due to his trauma response and poor coping skills alienating him from other people. A lot of it is just unfair. His perceived ugliness in a society that overwhelmingly favors physically beautiful people and despises disability or disfigurement has hindered his ability to create meaningful connections with others. That resentment has only built up throughout his life. He’s a second son who is forced to make his own way in the world since Gregor is the sole beneficiary of the Clegane lands and incomes. It’s Gregor that got the home and wife (three to be exact), which is the domestic life that would normally ground a man, giving him a sense of purpose and satisfying his emotional needs. Gregor doesn’t care for any of that, but there is a hint that Sandor feels this is something that has been denied him. Since many people fail to distinguish Sandor as different from his brother, Gregor’s infamy and the rumors surrounding the deaths of his wives and family members really don’t help either. After the BotBW, Sandor is really cut adrift from society by his desertion. He’s unfairly marked as a craven, and then in a tragic case of mistaken identity is wanted for the rape and massacre of the Saltpans. That’s about as hated and reviled as one can get.
Like other instances of named horses being a reflection of their riders, Stranger’s nature says a lot about Sandor’s. He’s proficient in battle, brave, disciplined, but extremely ill-tempered, and dangerous; however, with gentle handling from a master that has earned his trust, he’s able to respond in kind.
The horse was a heavy courser, almost as big as a destrier but much faster. Stranger, the Hound called him. Arya had tried to steal him once, when Clegane was taking a piss against a tree, thinking she could ride off before he could catch her. Stranger had almost bitten her face off. He was gentle as an old gelding with his master, but otherwise he had a temper as black as he was. She had never known a horse so quick to bite or kick.
There’s a bond there. The horse isn’t just a tool or weapon to be used. Sandor cares for this big, scary boy that no one else can get close to. After rescuing Sansa from the riot, his next thought is to go back to find his horse in the chaos and fire. Because Sandor gave him the name, it shows that he has the self-awareness of how his issues and anti-social behavior have only served to increase his sense of isolation and cement other people’s negative opinions. The only reason an animal would so readily bite or kick indiscriminately is that it’s in constant fear of being hurt by people (*sob*). It’s possible Sandor recognized a warhorse that was trained with brutal methods, not unlike his own childhood and adolescence. One can imagine how much patience, kindness, and courage it took to bring such an ornery beast to the point where he can trust and reciprocate.
People are more complicated than animals, of course; however, this is definitely meant to mirror his relationship with Sansa and her gentleness, compassion, and courage in the face of his anger issues. Though not many are not keen on giving attention to the Stranger in their prayers, Sansa does pray for Sandor’s safety and well-being. The Stranger is the last deity people turn to for comfort, and yet Sansa views Sandor as her protector and ally. She wishes for his presence at times, even after seeing him at his worst. And I love, love, love this line from Cersei about Sansa, who is deep into the unkiss rabbit hole at this point:
“… but before I am done with her, I promise you, she will be singing to the Stranger, begging for his kiss.“ – Cersei IV, AFFC.
So that brings us to Stranger’s renaming to Driftwood, but first, we need to ask what exactly is the Quiet Isle? Quoting from Part IV of my essay:
“The Quiet Isle is also a place to cross over into the afterlife in more than one way. Sometimes the dead and dying wash up on the shores, as did the Elder Brother. Sometimes they are brought there like the Hound or the people of the Saltpans after the massacre to die or be healed. The metaphoric and most common way is for penitents to abandon their old lives to be reborn in a new monastic life. In a sense, the brothers on the isle are dead to the outside world. They don’t speak with few exceptions. Many cover their faces as well, obscuring their past identity. Their brown robes and cowls are like the dead driftwood that washes up there, but even driftwood gets reborn as beautiful polished furniture and cups. If you want to come on the Quiet Isle, you need Elder Brother’s or one of his proctor’s permission. There’s a ferry to the isle which is evocative of Charon. So that makes Elder Brother, like Garth Greenhand, a psychopomp. He’s a gatekeeper between life and death, literal and metaphoric, and can also return people to the world of the living. The imagery is evocative of the Elysian Fields and especially Avalon, where King Arthur was taken to recover from wounds sustained against Mordred at the Battle of Camlann and is destined to return from. ”
Driftwood was dead and washed up, but then it is collected, reshaped and polished into something beautiful with a new purpose in its second life. Driftwood in this context is a metaphor for healing and redemption.
“The furnishings were strange but simple; a long table, a settle, a chest, several tall cases full of books, and chairs. All were made from driftwood, oddly shaped pieces cunningly joined together and polished till they shone a deep gold in the candlelight.” – Brienne VI, AFFC.
Amazing Grace, How sweet the soundThat saved a wretch like meI once was lost, but now am foundT'was blind but now I see
I zero doubts that Sandor’s character is undergoing a radical and profound transformation on the Quiet Isle. He was broken down enough to be open to it when the Elder Brother picked him up from the shore of the Trident. Also kinda miraculous that Stranger must have allowed himself to be led by another person while Sandor was incapacitated; however, it’s obvious Stranger is never going to spend the rest of his days as a plowhorse.
Brother Narbert sighed. “The Seven send us blessings, and the Seven send us trials. Handsome he may be, but Driftwood was surely whelped in hell. When we sought to harness him to a plow he kicked Brother Rawney and broke his shinbone in two places. We had hoped gelding might improve the beast’s ill temper, but … Brother Gillam, will you show them?”
Brother Gillam lowered his cowl. Underneath he had a mop of blond hair, a tonsured scalp, and a bloodstained bandage where he should have had an ear. – Brienne VI, AFFC.
This makes me laugh because although I believe Sandor has learned to have a healthier mindset through humble service and meaningful penance, he probably has been a veritable pill through the process. As Stranger kicks and rebels, we should definitely conclude that Sandor’s time with the holy brothers is not permanent. Especially considering that the horse adamantly refuses to be gelded, Sandor will not be submitting to the celibate life of a monk. The new name likely won’t stick, because Sandor didn’t so much need a whole new identity, but to restore his original one. The Hound is dead, but Sandor Clegane lives, polished and remade with a new purpose to his life.
#valyrian scrolls#sandor clegane#sandor clegane meta#asoiaf meta#twow spec#twow theories#stranger#driftwood#the quiet isle#elder brother#mythological references#mythology in asoiaf#symbolism in asoiaf#sansan meta#asoiaf characterization#my meta
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Supernatural: Inherit the Earth (15x19)
That was somehow simultaneously a crowded mess, and a complete anticlimax. I'm literally just like... super confused and afraid about what the finale is going to be now.
Cons:
Sam's the dog person. That's part of canon. I liked the moment when Dean found the dog, or whatever, but I wish Sam had gotten a moment with the puppy too, before Chuck took it away. A small thing, but one of those typical wrong details in Buckleming episodes, where it just honestly doesn't seem like they know the characters very well.
Lucifer and Michael have a fight in the Bunker and Michael takes Lucifer out really, really easily. So like. Remember when the first five seasons of the show were the buildup to the Apocalypse, and Sam sacrificed himself for an eternity in Lucifer's Cage to stop it from happening? Apparently a fight between the two archangels is just a bit of fisticuffs, nothing to get worked up about. That annoyed me. But I guess consistency has never been something this show has cared much about...
Also just... Lucifer in general, coming back for like five minutes so he can mug at the camera and then be unceremoniously killed? Here's the thing: we had Billie as Death, and she hated them but maybe it would have been interesting to see her and the boys team up to figure out Chuck's ending... but instead, she's gone, Lucifer gets a pointless return, provides us with another Death, who is there for two seconds, says a couple of vaguely funny lines, and then dies... and we still never find out what's in the book.
The fight with Chuck was so badly edited! It was so weird to see him just wail on Sam and Dean, and repeated shots of him hitting them, and them getting up, while he kept saying "okay fellas, enough, please stay down" over and over again. Given that the whole "erasing the people from the world" thing was so much like Infinity War, I kept comparing this fight with God to the climax of Endgame. In that instance, you have a small group of intrepid fighters going up against a big bad evil, and then just at the moment when they're run down and helpless, the whole crowd of friends returns and joins in the fight. Instead of that, it's just Jack showing up and absorbing God's powers, and then they leave him begging on the beach. Not a bad ending for Chuck, which I'll get to in a moment, but the epic-ness was seriously missing from this final showdown.
So, when Jack returned the world to its normal state, did he bring back all of their friends, too? I want to believe this was something that Covid took away from them, where instead of seeing shots of Charlie and her girlfriend, of Donna, Jody, the girls, Bobby, Eileen, they were forced to use stock footage of just random people around the world returning. Would have been cooler to see the epic return... and also super weird that Sam and Dean sit quietly in the bunker talking about free will, and we don't see Sam pull out his phone and call his girlfriend, like... I get not wanting to muddy the ending of the episode with a lot of fallout stuff, and I'm sure we'll get that next week? Like, I hope, anyway? But as it stood for this hour of television, it was super weird to me that the boys didn't immediately want to check on all of their friends to make sure everyone had returned from the dead.
Jack becoming the new God is actually a totally appropriate ending, people were speculating that he'd be the new God or Death or Empty, or some cosmic entity, anyway... and this honestly felt very fitting... BUT, I will say that there are two really, really stupid things about it. One, his "I'm everything and everywhere now" speech was super cheesy... "I'm in the air and the rocks and every drop of rain" or whatever. Such a cliche, I was almost painfully embarrassed listening to him. I honestly would have preferred less is more, here. Like, what if he'd said the stuff about how humans can be their best when they need to be, that was a good line... and then Sam says "what if we want to see you? Grab a beer?" And Jack just says "I'm around" and then vanishes, leaving it vague? I think the idea of a hands-off deity is perfect, of course... makes sense for the "free will wins the day" ending we've got going here, but I didn't think stating it outright was the best move.
The second reason Jack becoming God was rendered kind of comedically awful in the way it happened is... well, elephant in the room, let's talk about how Cas was handled in this episode.
Here's a quote from last week's review:
"I'm worried that Cas dying is gonna get swallowed up with everyone dying and not get its due, thus making the confession completely isolated. Like, here you go, gays, have this one scene, which, in isolation is quite heartfelt from Cas' perspective, but can be carefully boxed up and not touched for the last two hours of the show. If they don't want to touch on how this would affect Dean specifically, they don't have to. He can be generally angsty and sad about Cas, but they could get away with never bringing it up again, and that is some grade-A level bullshit right there, my friends."
And... yeah. Look, I know there are people on Tumblr right now saying that this episode being the "brothers only" ending means that next week we'll get Cas back and Dean will confess his love or whatever... but y'all, it's not going to happen. I'm sorry. I'd love to be wrong. If I'm wrong, I will gladly eat crow and celebrate along with the rest of you, but I just... I've been burned before. I know what's going on here, and it's not what you think it is.
Dean was undeniably devastated in this episode. We see him drinking to excess, falling asleep on the floor, grasping onto tiny moments of joy like with the dog and then being furious and upset when they fall through. But that devastation was not textually about Cas specifically. Sure, there were moments, like him telling God to bring everything back, and then namedropping Cas specifically. Or the way he ran up the stairs when Cas' voice was on the phone. But what I'm saying is? Those are crumbs, there for those of us who care to gobble up, easily ignored and subsumed by the larger losses the boys are suffering. Sam is devastated too, guys. About his girlfriend, about Charlie, about Donna, and Jody, etc. etc. etc. Who's to say their grief is any different from one another, even though they're handling it with different coping mechanisms? The "I love you" wasn't even on the "previously on".
Like. There's a universe where Dean does get a moment of Cas-related catharsis in the finale, even though Misha's not coming back. Maybe he has a private moment to grieve just for him, to contemplate that specific loss. But I'm telling you: I don't care if an openly gay man wrote 15x18, I don't care that Misha found it moving. The bottom line is, Cas confessing his love for Dean was the moment of catharsis the show was willing to offer us. We ain't getting much else.
So going back to Jack, why on earth does nobody suggest that maybe when he's popping the rest of the world back to the way it's supposed to be, he also brings Cas back? This is what I'm talking about with contrived sacrifices. Last week, they could have written a way for Dean to get out of that scrape without Cas dying. And this week, Jack's determination to be a "hands-off" God is not enough to explain why he wouldn't restore his father Castiel from the Empty. Especially since Chuck brought Lucifer back from the Empty, proving that God can do that. Even though that contradicts earlier lore but whatever. The point is, I'm saying it's sloppy. Cas' death, Cas staying dead, does not feel like an earned inevitability to me. I'm prepared to eat my words if they bring him back in the finale, but even if that happens (which it won't), he's not going to be smooching Dean Winchester on the mouth, y'all. He's just not.
So then that ending. "Finally free," says Dean, completely unaware that he's echoing the theme from the end of season five but making it hopeful now for some reason? And that end montage felt like an ending 100%, and I won't say it was bad to see it, see all the memories, the characters... I mean, Charlie dancing in the elevator, getting glimpses of Ellen and Jo, Bobby, Crowley... I'm not going to complain about that, it was honestly quite fun, but it also felt extremely anticlimactic and gave us no sense of where the characters are going to go from here. And yes, I know we have an episode next week, it's just...
Here's the thing I'm scared of, and I'm going to go ahead and put it here in the "cons" section because I don't know where it belongs yet. Despite my complaints about this episode, thematically there was one thing it got right: the answer to defeating Chuck wasn't destined, it wasn't in a book of preordained endings. They had to come up with it by themselves, using the tools at their disposal, and they won, and they get free will now, they get the release from having someone else tell their story. Great. So... what does that leave us next week?
As mentioned above, I really don't think the final 43 minutes is going to be an epic gay love story where Dean fights to get Cas back, I really don't. That leaves us two options: either a tepid re-tread of the themes already established, an epilogue of sorts where we just get to see a life in the day, a new normal for the boys. I wouldn't be furious about this, but I also think it won't really feel like closure for me. They just keep hunting? They keep saving people? That's fine, I guess, but they can't really walk back the fact that God is their son, can they? When they die the next time, do they go to the Empty? Who is Death, now? Are Heaven and Hell okay? Are we meant to be convinced that nothing will ever come back to bite them in the ass, they'll live long lives, and a benevolent afterlife is waiting for them when it's over? I'm not convinced I believe in things being that simple, so it sort of seems like the show would end by saying "okay, and more of the same."
The second possibility is worse, though, that being a total status-quo shift, like the end comes and the Empty is after them and they have to become the new Death and Empty as some speculated, or some wild harebrained plot twist gets thrown in at the last second and undoes the actual good parts of the theme established here. I hope for the first, but I don't know that it'll make me happy, to be quite honest. I really don't want it to feel this way, but Cas being gone is the big elephant in the room, for me. It truly is.
Pros:
I did like the earlier parts of the episode, the eeriness and the helplessness of them being alone. Continuing with the Avengers comparisons, it was very similar to the long, slow opening to Endgame, where we see a lot of grief, a lot of helplessness, an lot of directionless moping. That felt appropriate and it made it all the more invigorating when Michael showed up, giving us a spark of direction in which to move.
While I thought the fight with Chuck was edited really strangely and didn't work for me, I did like this ending for Chuck. Very much like the end of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Chuck doesn't die, which he honestly would have found a satisfying, creative ending for his story. Instead, he gets to live on as a normal human, sans powers, and be forgotten. Brutal and appropriate! It ties back into the free will thing. Chuck can do whatever he wants with his remaining time, but he can't steal other people's choices from them any longer. It's the black and the white, the good and the bad, of being just... human. Which ties in with Sam and Dean being more or less hopeful about their outlook moving forward. (God, I'm so fucking scared they're going to screw up the few things I liked about this episode in next week's finales.)
Like I said, I did find Jack becoming God an appropriate ending for him as a character. It's the right type of bittersweet: he's there, and we can imagine that in the future, he does go visit Sam and Dean for a beer. Or maybe he doesn't, and that's okay too. Knowing he's at peace, knowing he's benevolent, and that he'll do the best he can for the people of the world(s). It's nice, a comforting deity instead of a manipulative overlord. And the fact that his benevolence and kindness and compassion are born out of a human mother, and two human fathers, and an angel who embraced humanity with everything in himself... instead of from Lucifer, who tried to create him in his image? Well, that's a lovely resolution for a character that became a surprising favorite over the years.
As I think I mentioned last week, I'm willing to let this show manipulate my emotions here at the end, when it can manage to do so. So yeah, of course I loved that Cas and Jack's names are added to the table along with SW, DW, and MW. Obviously that's adorable as hell. And as I said, the montage worked for me, it was certainly quite lovely. I just... like I said at the start of this, I'm just frankly terrified of what's coming next week.
I mean, here's the thing, I want an ending that honors Sam and Dean as the protagonists of this show, but I want it where they live in the bunker, and Eileen and returned-from-the-dead-Castiel live with them as their partners. If someone told me I couldn't change a thing about what's happened so far, but I could decide how the last episode went, that's how I'd end it. Showing a network of hunters getting support and able to live more stable, reasonable lives while still doing a dangerous job. Sam embracing his intellectual prowess and running things from the bunker, Dean and Cas going out on the road, Sam and Eileen going out on the road, or any combination therein. Jack watching over them benevolently from above. Jody and Donna and the girls living their best lives. Kaia and Claire as a couple, onscreen. A glimpse of a more stable afterlife, now that Jack is there to run things, the confirmation of a peaceful ending whenever our human protagonists do finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Peace, but change, too.
I just don't believe that's what we're getting. I can't believe it, and that makes me really frightened for what comes next week. I'm prepared to be pissed off. Quite frankly, I'm expecting it.
6/10
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Innocence?
Summery: How could Zhora let that be destroyed? Worse, how could she prevent it? The more she thought, the more she realised that it was already unavoidable. Zoe was right, curse it. Solis wouldn’t stop with just Zhora, not after Wyst and Zoe had dug their heels in. They’d suffer too, no matter what Solis actually said.
Zhora and Zoe have a discussion the night before they go after Solis.
**************
Space. It was a word to invoke thought. A distance as much as a destination. So much of nothing it became something. Something became nothing. Infinite became irrelevant within a few strides and grew with time. Outer space was infinite. The void between life. A chasm to suspend reality. Poems sung of hanging the stars in the skies. Compared their gleam to diamonds, whispered their deepest desires on a star falling from the inky blankets of space. Science spoke of the stars as echoes of what had been. To see a star, sometimes, was to see when it had already died. The brightest beauty of something past. Something out of reach. Some viewed space as a negative, as something empty. Others viewed it as something full of possibility. As something to fill until space no longer existed. The space to hang a child’s painting on the wall. Space for flowers to grow. A place for a ship to dock... euphemism intended. The list of the ways space could be filled was immense, especially to someone as creative as Zhora.
For Zhora, space simply was. At the moment, it was fucking freezing. Yes, the stars were beautiful. Yes, the distance between her and her target meant she would not die that day. The space between brain and heart would keep her alive. That didn’t eliminate the literal chill just outside the hull. It didn’t dismiss the loneliness embedded in her soul. Literal or emotional, it was cold. Cold. Cold. Cold.
As so many did, she used space. With engines, the infinity of space shrunk into insignificant hours between planets. With plants and weapons, she filled her walls. With the shots from her rifle, she filled the distance between herself and the enemy. With contacts in every port, she filled other spaces... at least for a time. Some longer than others. Another euphemism intended.
The one space she could never fill was that of loneliness. Of emotional emptiness so stabbing it could threaten to cut. Her mind resisted well. It was of stone. Uncompromising. In control. Ahead of the game. She had to be. If she wasn’t, she would be dead. Both her and her crew would pay. That was where her heart of glass came into play. So fragile was her heart that she protected it fiercely. When it came to heart or head, she chose her head. The death of friends was merely a dent in her business and profits. The angst of her crew would pass with the storm; all she had to do was hold tightly to her beliefs. Cling to that lifeline of logic and rationality.
It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her crew. She did. Truly. They were near her while she slept. They technically had unrestricted access to all her weapons, supplies and her quarters. It was very rare she locked her quarters anymore, not when Zoe could hack the security within a minute. Only her word kept them from acting out. Although, truthfully, her word didn’t always bind them. They disobeyed. Went over her head. Between her knees. Around her outstretched fingers. So long as it benefitted Zhora, no angle was too obscure for them to take. They practically lived on the phrase “Better to ask forgiveness than permission.” Something which had only gotten worse since Zoe had taken the role of Engineer. The two other women aboard the ship were trouble together. It was a good thing Zhora was practically addicted to their brand of trouble. Anyone else might have done some serious damage to the Kid or the Cutie. That thought always made Zhora’s brows feel heavier and her teeth ache, even when she didn’t adopt a snarl. The thought of losing either Wyst or Zoe was...it churned more unpleasantly in her gut than any poisoning she had ever suffered. These girls were her crew. Her family. Her loves, aside from her weapons and adrenaline.
She was efficient when she showered, providing she was alone. She cleaned quickly, washed her mermaid inspired hair, dried and dressed within the space of ten minutes. As it stood, she had no intention of entertaining guests. With 200,000 credits painted across her back, she wanted to keep herself clothed and ready. Sure, luring some company may be fun, whether it be the pleasure of touch or combat, yet Zhora had more to think about than just her own entertainment. It was dressed in her typical armored pants and crop top that she stepped back into her room, only to be greeted by a familiar sight.
In the dim lighting of her quarters the light of her workbench was a supernova, dragging Zhora’s eyes. There, she found herself staring at Zoe Rayner’s shadowed back. The tight body suit she wore was standard Union Colony, yet it did leave very little to the imagination. The way the suits melded to their wearers put everything on display, every curve, muscle and bone. In Zoe’s case, it did wonders for the lithe woman’s back, and her backside. Zhora watched for a few moments, almost hypnotised by the steady undulating of Zoe’s sharp shoulder blades beneath the green fabric. Every time Zoe pulled a pin into alignment or moved to grasp another tool was a shadow dance, something for Zhora to feast her eyes on. Perhaps it could delay the inevitable.
Zoe kept herself organised to perfection. On her left was where she had laid out the deconstructed weapon parts apparently by size and importance. Barrels, piping extensions, firing pins. Plasma packs. Electronics. Grips. Everything was so neat that it could only be an Engineer’s layout. To her right was an array of tools. Delicate tools, each laid out on black fabric that emphasised their pristine condition. Beyond Zoe’s instant reach, different components lingered, many pieces fused together in ways Zhora was not completely sure she could ever understand. Zoe’s brain was wired so differently from any engineer Zhora had ever worked with, yet the Colony Girl was an utter genius. Her unique brain and concepts had saved Zhora’s life numerous times, as well as allowed Zoe to bend countless rules. Namely, hacking her way into Zhora’s room when the Captain refused to communicate.
“What are you doing, Cutie?” Zhora called as she approached, having to bite back a victorious smirk when Zoe gave a small eeeekkk of alarm.
Zoe was an absolute image. One knee raised defensively as her other foot stretched for the ground. Bare toes barely grazed the floor, given the chair was designed for Zhora’s superior height. The Engineer had some form of screwdriver raised across her chest, wielding the tool like a weapon in her alarm. Zhora couldn’t help but let her smirk grow a little at the sight of Zoe’s heaving bosom, once more silently thankful for the Union Body Suits. As usual, no curve was left to imagination, and the way Zoe had twisted her hip in preparation of an attack left more than her breasts on display. The shapely curve of her hip and rump stretched the material, which also clung to her lean stomach. The clear panels gave Zhora a view of skin, nothing indecent.
“Zhora! I was just... well. After the Ghost gun, I was seeing if I could make my pistol more reliable. Incase... incase. If anything goes wrong, I want to have a backup.” Zoe hurried to explain, relaxing from her improvised martial arts form to slumping in the chair. Relaxed, Zhora could see the strain in Zoe’s arms. The metaphoric weight on the Engineer’s shoulders which seemed to be affecting her quite literally.
“Zoe-“
“Aside from the programming to the Ghost gun, I was thinking of taking similar coding and programming it into the attachable -“ Zoe continued to babble, waving her hands wildly as she spun around to face her components once more.
Zhora wanted to follow along, she truly did, yet she was caught up in the perky engineer’s excitement. Zoe was magnetic once she became passionate; her energy was almost like an inferno swallowing all in its path. Somehow, Zoe became infectious when she was like this. The inferno never harmed those whom it consumed. Instead, it filled Zhora with a pleasant warmth; a feeling which radiated from the centre of her chest. This passion was for HER. Zoe was so dedicated to these weapons because the Engineer wanted to save Zhora. The Captain couldn’t fathom how she had earned such loyalty, only that she strove to earn it. That she kept waiting for Zoe to run. To leave. Still, Zoe stayed, striving further and further away from her safe life and into danger. All for Zhora.
“You don’t have to do this. We can find another way.” Zhora found herself cutting Zoe off mid explanation. This caused Zoe to pause. The clink of a tool hitting the bench was the only warning Zhora had before she found herself staring straight into the steely face of Zoe Rayner.
Deep brown eyes shone. No, shone implied too much softness. Zoe’s eyes blazed. They were the black holes which summoned Zhora’s gaze. The hardest edges of determination stole Zhora’s voice, even as Zoe’s soft brows furrowed in unspoken frustration. There it was. A brief moment where the two halves of Zoe warred. Her kindness and patience softened the blow, yet the fiery determination and outrage was akin to a sledgehammer into Zhora’s gut. Would Zoe offer another tongue lashing, or would her patience prevail?
“I know what I have signed up for. I’m not a Little Colony Girl anymore. You’ve shown me how the Galaxy works. The truth of it.”
It was a very true statement, Zhora realised. When she stared at Zoe, the Captain could no longer see the meek little colony girl. She saw her Engineer, a woman who could bring the Galaxy to its knees in prayer. Zoe was the stereotype of normal colony kid. Every common aspect of her seemed crafted to perfection, causing what should have been an ordinary looking girl to gleam amidst the stars. Honey and Gold had been mixed to create the perfect shade of blonde for Zoe. Her hair hung from its messy ponytail, always vibrant in its chaos. Zhora briefly wondered how much one would pay for such a treasure. The thought was banished. She didn’t want Zoe to become ruined for something as common as credits.
“This isn’t something I can undo, Zoe. So far, everything has been something we could fix if you decided you wanted out. This... I can’t protect you from. If you regret this, I can’t...” Zhora almost hated herself. For the first time, control was completely out of Zhora’s grasp. She had been so careful, introducing the Outlaw life to Zoe in situations that wouldn’t scar the young Engineer. Zhora had executed her iron grip to ensure that Zoe wasn’t hurt. Wasn’t sullied beyond repair. Now, there was nothing to shield Zoe from the darkness. Zhora couldn’t sacrifice her own body to shield the girl, nor could she manipulate the situation so that Zoe wouldn’t suffer. What would happen when Zoe pulled the trigger? Would such an act break her? The very real possibility that this would destroy everything Zoe was weighed on Zhora’s heart. She couldn’t watch those fires in Zoe’s eyes die, nor see Zoe’s gentleness fade. Not the girl who spoke to her pistol and bandaged wounds with the gentlest hands. Zhora was placing her life in Zoe’s callused palms, along with the most dangerous weapon in the known Galaxies. Was Zhora worth it?
“I know, Zhora. I tried to be bothered by it, but I’m not. Solis has hurt millions of people, and will continue to do so. She won’t stop trying to hurt you. I can’t let her take away the best thing to ever happen to me, okay? If it’s a choice between taking her life or watching you die, I’ll pull the trigger every time.”
“Zoe. You’re taking a life. Not just in the heat of the moment, but premeditated. It’s not just a kill, it’s an assassination. I can’t as-“
“You really don’t get it do you? I love you. Wyst loves you. You’re our friend, and our Captain. We both owe you everything, and we WANT to help you. I can’t let you die. I won’t. The galaxy isn’t always nice, and I can’t always play nice if I want to protect what I love.” Zoe cut Zhora off with her impassioned speech, her eyes appearing to burn even darker. The Engineer trembled with the ferocity of her emotions. Zhora herself froze, reconciling the power Zoe emanated with their first meeting. Oh, how times had changed.
“So, yeah. You’re not asking, I am telling you... I‘m ready. I’m doing it. Deal with it.” The Engineer concluded, spinning so that she could resume her work on the parts. For a long time, they remained silent. Zoe’s powerful words echoed in Zhora’s head, leaving the Captain staggering beneath their weight. Without realising it, Zhora found her fingers teasing the bottom of Zoe’s ponytail, taking in the softness of perfectly kept hair. It was another thing that made Zoe stand out. Her hair was natural, compared to the splashes of colour Wyst put through hers and the Blue to Green wash through Zhora’s hair.
Zoe didn’t seem phased or distracted by Zhora’s fidgeting. Zoe’s hands remained remarkably steady as she worked. She had magnets dancing in their fields with such ease. A little flick would see those magnets dance; something which always drew a smile from Zoe. It was such an innocent thing to watch, magnets bouncing and Zoe smiling. The little giggles she let forth before licking her lips and settling down.
Pink peeped out the corner of Zoe’s mouth, pinched between delicate lips. The tip of her tongue expressed so much. When she was annoyed, it ran across her lower lip; a cat’s tail swishing. When she was on the verge of success, the tip of her tongue peeped a little further out, chasing down victory. When Zoe paused to think, she rolled her tongue over the same place of her top lip for minutes on end. These little gestures were accompanied the adorably dorky scrunch of her nose, and a pursing of her lips to the right. Her left eye closed a little more than her right, yet her work remained unaffected.
How could Zhora let that be destroyed? Worse, how could she prevent it? The more she thought, the more she realised that it was already unavoidable. Zoe was right, curse it. Solis wouldn’t stop with just Zhora, not after Wyst and Zoe had dug their heels in. They’d suffer too, no matter what Solis actually said.
“I like the gumption, New Girl. Keep it up and I might let you have a look at some new designs.” Zhora eventually stated, breaking from her own dark musings. The surprise she felt at herself was echoed in Zoe’s wide eyes.
“I’d like that.” Zoe’s response was level, yet she clearly couldn’t force herself to stop smiling. Zhora was thankful for the casualness of her response. It startled the Captain that she had even made such an offer. It was another breech in her security. Another door Zoe had hacked her way through, seemingly effortlessly. Offering such closeness was not Zhora. It was too hard to let people get this close. It made the inevitable loss too difficult to cast aside. Zhora couldn’t afford this. With Wyst, she had sworn it would be her only exception. Zoe made a liar out of her. That damned determined, fiery little colony girl. Damn Zoe, for being an actually interesting person. Damn Zoe for making Zhora actually care.
Zhora may have been putting the most dangerous weapon created in Zoe’s hands, along with her own life, yet Zhora couldn’t help feeling as if she carried the most weight of them all. The weight of Zoe’s future. The weight of Zoe’s innocence.
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Stowaway (Ch.3)
To his surprise, Quill woke up by himself and on time. He even felt refreshed despite all of the energy he used the night before. So he got up and packed up camp so Cassie could sleep in just a little longer, and was putting the last of their things on the ship when she woke up. Quill told her just to go inside and buckle in so they could head to their next destination, and she did so after picking up her sleeping bag. Cassie threw it off to the side and strapped into a chair upstairs, and once the pirate gave her the go ahead to get up and roam, she disappeared back downstairs.
She didn't come back up as fast as she usually did so Quill got a little concerned and put his ship on autopilot so he could go check on her. There was really no need to though. When he went down below, he found her freshly showered and dressed and rolling up the sleeping bag to put away, so he just opened the door to the food storage instead. He had cereal, and even though they didn't have any milk, they were both content to eat it dry and by the handfuls as Cassie tidied up the ship (and Quill was suddenly glad he didn't have that black light. He and Scott made a whole new Pollock painting), and the celestial got his guns and other weapons and tools ready. Rocket left him a message telling him it was similar to the creature they killed for the Sovereign, and that meant he couldn't use his powers unless it was necessary. The moment he lit up was the moment the creature came after him.
"You know what I do miss about home?" Cassie suddenly says as Quill clips a grenade to his belt.
"Your dad?"
The teen snorts. "I love my dad but I'm not addicted to him like you are."
"You'll find someone like that when you're older." Quill says with a smirk.
"Anyway, I could really go for a pumpkin spice frappuccino."
"I'm suddenly very glad you're with me in space right now...if only for the sole reason to keep you away from that garbage." Quill furrows his brows and looks over at Cassie. "Hold on, those aren't even in season."
"How do you even know that?" Cassie asks in a teasing tone.
"Because you're always drinking them! I'm gonna notice when you finally stop drinking them! It's not hard to put the pieces together for that." The pirate argues and the girl laughs.
The rest of the trip to their next destination was spent doing the same thing. Light conversation, Cassie finding something to busy herself with, and Quill getting ready for the fight ahead. A few minutes away from landing, the teen was looking through the alien food thoughtfully and Quill immediately knew what that look meant. She was curious to see if she could make something with it. Better than what the celestial offered at least. He was currently the better cook in space, but he was still more of a barbecuer than a pan frier. Maybe if he bought some alien food on their way home, he could let the teen experiment with it and see if she can make better meals for him to take. She already did that with Earth food, and he certainly ate a lot better since joining the Avengers and starting a relationship with Scott.
He was damn lucky that Cassie enjoyed taking care of her large group of parents. Four dads and two moms (or at least a literal mom and then someone who fit the title extremely well for a man), and even Diana. She and Cassie were nearly inseparable because they were raised together during the snap.
"We'll pick some extra food up for you to experiment with." Quill says and Cassie nods at him with a smile.
He directs her up to the cockpit so he can land the ship, and once he touches down on a small expanse of land near his other ship that the Guardians were using, he looks out the window. It was a desert planet with not a lot of foliage, and it made Quill wonder what an energy eating creature was doing here. His best guess was that someone came here with it and released it to cause problems.
Which unfortunately worked because now he and the Guardians were here to kill it.
Pain in the ass indeed.
"What kind of...monster...did you say it was?" Cassie asks skeptically.
"One attracted to energy. Like my powers or the batteries the Sovereign have." Quill replies as they walk toward the door of the ship.
"The Sovereign?"
"Bunch of uptight assholes I'll never let you meet as long as I can help it." The celestial opens the door and lowers the ramp. "You know the rules. Stay on the ship unless I tell you otherwise."
"I know. How long will this take?" Cassie asks.
"Hopefully we can lure it and kill it in the next couple of hours."
"And then?"
"We go back to Xandar, refuel, get you some food to play with, and then head home." Quill answers.
"Didn't you tell Dad two weeks?"
"Yeah, well, that changed when I found a stowaway."
Cassie blushes and mutters an apology to which Quill waves her away. It was no problem. He was able to give the majority of his errands to his friends because of it, and it also meant he could get home to Scott a lot sooner. Quill steps off the ship and walks a couple hundred yards away to join his friends and looks around. There was enough space to bring down the creature and it was far enough away from the ships that he wasn't too worried about Cassie's safety.
"How are we doing on getting it here?" He asks and Rocket gives him a look.
"We were kind of hoping you could use your light show."
"Dude-"
"The faster we get it here the faster you can go home to your Terran."
"Ugh...fine."
Quill barely willed his powers into physical form before they heard what sounded like a stampede. The celestial gives Nebula a look, and their eyes widen when not one but multiple energy sucking creatures barreled toward them. Quill dismissed his powers in favor of one of his grenades and threw one at the group as he turned to look at Rocket.
"What the hell?! You said creature! As in one! Not CREATURES!" The god yells.
Rocket winces as Drax belts out a battle yell and runs toward the creatures after the grande blows some of them up. "There may have been some miscommunication."
"Obviously! Did you even listen?!" Quill holds up his guns and starts to pick off the ones that manage to get by Drax and Nebula.
"I am Groot!" Groot says.
"You fell asleep while they were--" The celestial starts.
"You try not to fall asleep when they speak slower than space tar!" Rocket yells.
"Damn trash panda."
"I heard that!"
"Good! You were supposed to!"
They stop their bickering to focus on the multitudes of what were basically smaller versions of the Sovereign creature, but there were a lot more than Quill originally thought. They were actually getting overwhelmed by them and the celestial was getting more and more concerned about his kid's safety. If they got past him, they might go for the ships since they had fuel...so he did the one thing he could think of to get the monsters attention off the rest of the Guardians. He willed his powers into being and it worked like a charm. Every single one of the slimy bastards left one of his friends behind and turned their attention to their glowing feast.
Quill fully expected the tackle to the ground and did what he could to keep the aliens from eating him alive while the others picked them off. He couldn't die permanently, but being eaten alive would be pretty painful and he wasn't down with letting that happen. Despite having the attention of what was left of the large group of aliens, the Guardians were still having trouble killing them. They still had thick hides for adolescent monsters.
"Shit!"
Quill grabs the snapping jaws of the closest alien when it gets too close for comfort, and tries using his pillars of light to help kill them. It helped injure them with the first strike, but it was enough for someone to shoot off the pile on top of him and blast them away. When he looks up to see who had given him some relief, he raises an eyebrow when Mantis points in the direction of the ships. There, on top of the Milano, stood Cassie with one of the bigger guns and Quill smirks.
"That's my girl."
Killing off the rest of their bounty didn't take much longer after that. Quill took care of a majority of them with his powers once he got back up, and the ones he only managed to injure were killed by the others. Even a couple by Cassie and he was impressed with her accuracy. Once the last one fell, Quill groans in disgust and wipes off a glob of alien guts from his coat.
"There. You can go let the people know these bastards are taken care of. Next time, FUCKING LISTEN!" Quill shouts at Rocket who glares in return.
"Yeah, yeah. Go take your kid home."
"I'll transfer some of the reward units to you when we get them." Nebula says and Quill nods and walks away with a flippant wave over his shoulder. When he gets to his ship, he finds Cassie putting away the gun and she turns to him with a smug grin.
"Technically I stayed on the ship."
Quill guffaws. "You would find a loophole. Come on. Let's take off so I can go take a long shower and get into some clean clothes."
Cassie nods and sits in one of the chairs, and Quill takes off as quickly as possible so he can put the ship on autopilot. When he stands up, the teen offers to clean the seat and the celestial thanks her before heading down to take a quick shower. He couldn't sit and enjoy it since it used limited water reserves, but at least it was hot. Quill peels off his clothes and steps into the shower after grabbing some clean clothes, and after thoroughly scrubbing himself down, he gets out and dresses in some pajamas. He was fully intending on taking a well deserved nap since it was a long way back to Xandar. If Cassie needed him, she would wake him up.
With that comforting thought, Quill collapsed face first onto his bed and was out like a light. Cassie only woke him up a little while later to make sure he ate something, but he stayed up until it was actually time for bed. It would take about a day to get to Xandar anyway.
"Nice shot by the way." Quill says around a bite of food. "I was legitimately impressed."
"I was aiming for you." His daughter sasses and he chuckles in response.
"That's how you aim with alien weapons."
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Number 15 with the Fell brothers~! :3
Ahhhh here ya go man I literally wrote this in one day, which is today just frikking wrote it in pretty much one go and I am seriously proud of myself gnkjegnkjgkrje so yeah enjoy xD ❤
Edit 2021/01/05: Decided to update this, fixed some grammar and added some minor things, enjoy!
Stealing Flowers
Relationship: None, just bros
Warnings: Mention of animal death, but nothing graphic or detailed
Prompt: “Are you seriously stealing flowers off that grave?”
Summary: Red joins Edge on a trip to the cemetery.
AO3
Story below cut
“Red, Really?”, Red heard Edge say slightly behindhim, clearly exasperated. “Are You Seriously Stealing Flowers Off That Grave?”
“yep, sure am baby bro.”, he replied with his usualwide grin, as it was true. He was currently picking, or stealing as Edge calledit, some flowers off of a grave he was squatting down in front of.
Though it wasn’t really stealing since the flowerswere technically grown there and clearly not planted, was actually rather whatmost people would call weeds. So in turn Red was actually doing the cemeterystaff a favour by removing some of the said weeds off the grave.
“And Do Tell Me Why Exactly You Are Doing Such AThing, Brother?”, Edge asked again, his voice stiff with barely held backirritation.
“jist doin’ my daily good deed of tha day, bro.”, Redjoked with a dark chuckle, the disgusted noise he got in return worth it. Hethen stood up with the flowers in hand, turning around so he was now face toface with his much younger, and also sort of angry, brother.
Edge was dressed in a fancy black suit; with some kneehigh boots that had some minor heel to them which Red was thankful for theother wearing. As Edge really needed to stop stomping around with those overlyhigh heels of his, they were so not good for that bad hip of his. And alongsidethat cute scowl his face was currently expressing, so was he holding a largebouquet of red roses with a large matching ribbon.
Red himself was not dressed up for the occasion atall, he was in fact just wearing his usual outfit as he hadn’t bothered at allor even tried to dress up, unlike his brother.
“nah, thought i shoulda get somethin’ fer tha grave,pay me respects an’ all that shit, ya know.”, Red then added with a shrugbefore Edge had a chance to say anything else, fiddling with the flowers heheld in his hands slightly, his mind noting they were probably some sort ofdandelions or something.
That gave Edge pause, stopped him right as he wasabout to say something, probably a lecture, but instead he ended up juststanding there with stunned surprise on his features. But it wasn’t long untilhis whole body visibly relaxed, letting out a deep sigh in defeat, while alsogiving Red a suspicious glare.
“Let’s… Let’s Keep Moving.”, Edge uttered before hequickly began to walk, quickly making his way past Red and down the path of thecemetery with long steps.
And like the lazy ass he was, Red instead of followinghis brother simply took a shortcut.
Then quickly reappearing with barely a sound at theirdestination, which was another grave.
He eyed the grave lazily while he waited for hisbrother, which wouldn’t take long thanks to those long legs of his. The blackgranite of the headstone shined brightly in the strong summer sun, slightlyblinding him but not enough to stop him from reading what was written on it.
It said, with big fancy golden letters:
Doomfanger
Unknown July. 17
2261 - 2284
Beloved pet,companion and friend
Around the textthere were paw prints carved into the stone also with gold in them, alongsideother golden squiggly patterns here and there which he guessed were leaves orsome shit, his brother not sparing any expense when it came to the grave of hisnow dead pet cat.
The old furballhad finally bit the dust last year at about 23 years of age, which apparentlywas pretty old for a cat. Though she might have been older as it wasn’t fullysure how old she had been when Edge found her back in the underground.
Thinking of theunderground, it was still weird how that was just about 11 years ago, that thebarrier broke and all monsterkind was freed from their imprisonment.
His thoughtswere interrupted by the arrival of his brother, who with quick steps made hisway next to him where he stopped.
He looked athis brother, who was looking very stoic and tense as he watched the grave,holding the roses in his hand tightly, before be abruptly turned to him,reaching out the hand with the roses towards him.
“Hold These, INeed To Clean The Grave.”, Edge muttered tersely.
“sure thin’,bro.”, Red replied taking a hold of the roses, the thought of saying no justbecause running through his mind, but he decided not to for once. His brotherwas already, no pun intended, on edge.
His brotherthen stepped forward and got to work, pulling out various tools from his phoneinventory before kneeling down, grimacing slightly as he did thanks to his oldinjuries. But his expression quickly turned determined as he got to work,removing any weeds that had popped up since last time he had been there,removing old flowers and so on, while Red just stood there watching him work.
The urge topush Edge to the side and do the work himself, even though this sort of shitwork wasn’t his thing, was overwhelming. But he knew his baby brother wouldn’ttake it well, since this was his duty and all that shit, so he let it be, sinceafter all the death of his pet cat had hit his brother hard, harder than youwould expect.
Like to Red itwas just a cat, an animal, they die quickly when it comes to monsters like themwho lives for a very long time. So he didn’t really fully get why Edge wasstill so upset about it and still grieving even a year after.
A low huffescaped him, guess he truly was an insensitive arse.
Still, hehappily tagged along whenever his brother went to visit Doomfanger’s grave,spending any time with his baby brother was time well spent.
It didn’t takelong for Edge to clean the grave, since he came and visited it at least acouple of times a month, so any weeds, rotten flowers or other cleaning of thegrave was quick work. Edge got back up onto his feet with a barely hiddengrimace of pain, for anyone who didn’t know what to look out for wouldn’t seeit as Edge was really good at hiding when he was in pain.
But Red wasn’tjust anyone, and knew exactly what to look out for to notice just how muchEdge’s old injuries affected him.
Which remindedhim, he still needed to beat that fish bitch into a fucking pulp for causingsaid injuries. He didn’t care that it happened almost 20 years ago, or that itwas all done fair and square or that the bitch was still his baby brothers socalled best friend, any kind of injuries caused to his brother would get paidwith blood.
Edge thenwordlessly reached his hand out towards him, snapping Red out of his suddenthoughts of tearing that fish a new hole. Just as wordlessly he gave him backthe bouquet of roses and Edge then quickly squatted down and placed them ontothe now clean grave.
Without Rednoticing so had Edge also put down a couple of candles which he had lit, how hehad missed that was making his sockets twitch in irritation at himself, he wassupposed to be aware at all times after all, couldn’t risk missing anything nomatter how small said thing was. Edge then stood back up and took a step back,looking at the grave his whole body tense and his expression grim.
Ah, now timefor the part which always ended up making him uncomfy as fuck.
Red seriouslydid not do feely stuff, he did not know how to handle it at all, he glanced atEdge who was standing next to him again with his arms behind his back, lookingas stiff as the stick he at times had up his pelvis.
As ever sincethe incident, from about 10 years ago, even just thinking about it makes Redgrit his teeth in anger as he didn’t even want to think about it properly, hewas still so pissed about it.
But since thatincident Edge had pretty much become incapable of crying at all.
He was unableto cry at his shitty romantic drama’s he so loved anymore, he was unable to crywhen Doomfanger got sick due for age. Unable to cry when she eventually diedand wasn’t able to cry even at her funeral.
Thoughtechnically it was his baby brothers own fault, he had insisted on finding outthe truth, had forced Red’s hand in the name of saving Red from going insane.
He much morewould had preferred going insane than having Edge suffer as he do now, how hisbaby brother now had the highest level out of all monsterkind and now wasforced to live with it. As he did have a reason, several of them actually, whyhe had kept the truth secret from Edge for so many years to start with and thiswas one of them.
But now herethey were, Edge unable to properly grieve and cry over his dead cat, and himselfunable to comfort him because what the fuck were feelings even, all because ofthat whole fucking incident.
Especiallysince Edge wasn’t the only one affected by the incident, Red himself was nowcapable of feeling shit for other people and not just his brother. Which wasweird, as he now was able to feel shit more proper overall and he absolutelyhated it.
As things thatusually didn’t bother or affect him suddenly did, made him stop and think whathis actions and words could do to people at times and fuck did he hate it. Shitwas better when he didn’t care jack shit about anything or anyone except forhis baby brother, but apparently said brother would rather he cared about othersas well and make him a emotional asshole instead.
Which was whyhe didn’t do his usual asshole thing, like cracking a very bad and insensitivejoke, do something seriously rude like tossing the flowers he still held in hishand onto the grave which he originally had just picked up as a joke. He wasincapable of been his usual nonchalant dickish self and it was frustrating asfuck.
So instead, hedecided to do something so out of character of himself that if there was somesort of overwordly being up there, so would it have struck him down on the spotfor heresy.
“gimme yehand.”, he said to Edge, lifting his hand that he didn’t hold the flowers in uptowards his brother.
“Why?”, Edgereplied stiffly, eyeing the offered hand in suspicion which Red couldn’t reallyblame him for, he was known to pull pranks at the worst of times after all.
“jist do et,i’m trynna do a good thin’ here.”, Red grumbled back, feeling uncomfortable asfuck as he shook his hand for Edge to just take it already.
“… Fine, But IfYou Are About To Play A Trick On Me So Am I Never Letting You Come Along HereWith Me Again.”, Edge huffed after a moment of glaring, rolling his eye light’sas he put his hand in Red’s own.
“don’t worry, iwon’t.”, Red reassured him, giving his brother’s hand a squeeze. Fuck this shitwas weird but he had gotten this far, might as well go through with it.
He then steppedforward towards the grave, the two of them already standing close enough to itso he didn’t have to let go of the others hand. He could feel Edge’s confusedeyes dig into his back as he then squatted down, putting the flowers down ontothe grave as nicely as he could.
“sup, furball.”,Red then spoke, wincing slightly at how corny and touchy feely the whole thinghe was doing was, keeping his one eyelight locked onto the grave. “thanks… ferya always been there for me bro when he needed ya… an’ for been jist a reallygood cat.”
He thenpromptly got up and stepped back so he was standing next to his brother again, ifhe had skin he would swear it was crawling with just how fucking uncomfy hisactions just made him.
Red didn’t evenlook at his brother, to see how he reacted, instead he focused his eye onto arandom piece of grass. A minute or so passed before he felt Edge squeeze hishand back, making Red turn his face back up to his brother who was looking downat him.
“That… ThatWas…”, Edge began, clearing his throat loudly before a very soft smile slowlyspread onto his face. “That Was Really Sweet Of You… Thank You.”
If it wasn’tfor the fact Red had promised to chill the fuck out with his habit of taking picturesof Edge, so would he had pulled his phone out faster than his shortcuts as theexpression Edge was wearing was something he so dearly needed a photo of, so hecould look at it whenever he wanted and needed to.
But at the sametime, he felt if he went and did it, he would ruin whatever this moment wasbetween them, so he resisted and instead gave his baby brother a wide grin.
“heh, anytimebaby bro.”, Red murmured instead, before turning his face away to look atDoomfanger’s grave, Edge doing the same.
They stoodthere in silence for awhile, just enjoying the moment, until suddenly Edgesqueezed his hand again before slowly removing his own from Red’s grasp. MakingRed look up at him, resisting the urge to grab it back, but Edge was notlooking at him, his eyes still locked with the grave before them.
“Al-All Right,I Am Done Here For Today, Thanks For Coming With Me.”, Edge said with a slighttremble to his voice, before he quickly turned heel and began to walk away onthe cemetery path. “Come Along Brother, I Need To Get Back To Work Before TwoPM And I Refuse To Be Late.”
“sure thin’.”, Redreplied, but he didn’t move from where Edge left him. As before Edge turnedaway and began to walk, Red could had sworn he saw something shine in hisbrother’s eye socket.
Quickly shakinghis head so to snap out of it, he decided it was most likely just hisimagination and wishful thinking. But he grinned widely and with a step forwardtook a shortcut to catch up to his much faster brother.
#undertale#underfell#underfell sans#underfell papyrus#MessedUpEssy#Essy Answers#Essy's writings#long post#I am srs proud of myself#this turned out pretty good#I was so sure this one would be one of the harder ones to write#but yet I succeeded in writing it in one go#it just clicked#tho i am not fully sure if i got my edge right here#but well he is in slight distress etc kinda so guess it's ok ye#i literally removed like a whole page as it didn't fit#and this one turned out so much longer that it should had#but idgaf#im proud of myself af#yes#now enjoy ppl#or else pfft
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Chapter 22: Irredeemable
Links: P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
Wendy and Robbie reached the top of the hill first, while Stan and McGucket’s old legs struggled to keep up. “So…” Robbie scratched his head and looked around when Wendy came to a stop. “Like, what are we doing here?”
“Ugh.” Wendy sighed. “I guess this is the part of the tradition where I act needlessly cryptic while you put it all together for yourself, huh…? Kay, see those weird cliffs over there?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, and now we’re at the top of a circular hill…”
“Yeah…?” Robbie looked around for a few seconds. Then, faster than Wendy expected, his brain connected the puzzle pieces. His jaw dropped and his eyes bulged. “Wha… OOOOOOH… Duuuuuude…”
Wendy bent down, wrapped her arms under a large rock, and levered it off to the side, revealing the smooth titanium hatch leading straight down into the Earth. “Consider yourself educated.” She grunted.
“Whaa… So… So like… So like there’s acutally aliens…?!?” Robbie demanded. “Like, literal, actual aliens?”
“They’re all dead.” Wendy answered, as she tried to fit her fingers into the seam around the hatch. “Every last one; dead…” Her fingers weren’t small enough to get a grip in there. “Urgh… Dang it! My kingdom for a magnet gun…”
“Uh… Here. I got this…” Robbie bent down beside her, and stuck his own fingers into the gap. His were able to fit somehow, and together they lifted the hatch open.
The deep, black, shadowy pit of the triangular vent yawned open below them, promising mystery, danger, and rumors of ancient horror for any who might brave it. Wendy started down the ladder without a second thought, pausing only briefly to slip on a headlamp. Robbie was wearing a headlamp too all of a sudden, and he followed her more hesitantly, just as Stan and McGucket came over the rise.
Stan’s half-hearted request to “Hey, wait up!” caused him to hesitate one more time, but Wendy was getting further ahead, and he didn’t want to lose track of her. Stan’s sigh of “Ugh… Kids…” Echoed down the shaft after them, fading in volume with the light.
Down they went.
It was just as dark, wet, and creepy as Wendy remembered. The rugged tendrils of Earthly tree roots seemed out of place among the smooth curves and hard seams of the aged metal. The blackness extended as far as the illumination of their headlamps would reach, interrupted only rarely by a stray beam of sunlight from above, shining down through cracks in the damaged dorsal hull. The faint, ghastly echoes of their movements and breathing whispered back at them from the distance. And now, more than ever, Wendy felt like she was being watched. But none of it held her attention for long. Sure, ‘aliens’ once held a kind of wonder, but that magic was long dead.
For now, there was only the mission. She pulled out Dipper’s journal, and turned to a page he’d put down after their last adventure down here: a map of the wreck. According to it, their destination should be somewhere straight below…
For Robbie, of course, the magic of this place was only just getting started. And he wondered with great anticipation what other secrets the ancient tomb had to offer.
Stan and McGucket caught up to them near the bottom of the ladder, and together the party descended ever deeper, toward the control room at the center of the ship.
-Warning: 4 unknown intruders registered in crucial engineering sector.
-Drones 154 and 155 respond.
The security system became active. The red lights of two armed security drones winked to life deep in the ship, and their spherical bodies hovered off the ground.
Normal programs were very strict for dealing with those who would tamper with the ship. When unauthorized personnel attempted to access any crucial area, procedure dictates they be treated with extreme hostility. If the intruders were sentient, capture and containment was priority. If the intruders were non-sentient or overly hostile, termination was permissible.
-Hostility and threat assessment programs running.
-Following program 003: Drones 154 and 155 move to intercept and analyze.
They began to make for the center of the ship.
-Warning: System error!
-Warning: System error!
For some reason, they stopped, and approached no further. Because long ago, their security officer had installed another program in their mainframe. This program told them that the reactor control room was a very special case. If intruders ever breached this room, they were to follow an alternative procedure.
-Following program +8*%__!3/e^){nB--______: Stand by, observe, and await instruction.
-Drones 154 and 155 standing by.
The control room’s blast doors creaked upon stiffly, and the musty smell of ancient death puffed out of the seam. Unfazed, Wendy and Stan put their fingers into the crack and levered it even farther open; now wide enough to walk through. The beams of their lights swept the room’s interior, illuminating the hundreds of high-tech controls, consoles and screens. But Robbie had expected all that. What he hadn’t expected were the dozen semi-squid-like alien bodies, lying crusty and mummified across the floor in various position of pain. And he hadn’t expected the graffiti either; insane scribblings of alien madness scrawled across the walls in odd-colored blood.
“WOOOAH…” He blinked in a radical sort of way. “Duuuuuude…”
Stan and Wendy stepped boldly through the door without a hint of fear, leaving Robbie standing with McGucket.
“It’s harmless…” The inventor muttered. “Nothin’ in there that kin hurt ya… What killed em all is long gone…”
Robbie looked at him. “Well, yeah, I could guess that much, but—”
“Harmless.” McGucket repeated again, and Robbie realized that he was talking to himself. “Just death… Folks die all the time… What killed ‘ese fellers is dead. What killed ‘em is dead… And their madness died with ‘em… the madness died with ‘em… It’s okay…” The old man finally convinced himself, and took one hesitant step through the doors. “It’s okay…”
Robbie peaked in after the other 3, unsure whether he should be wary or not. “Hey, uh… Like… What the heck happened in here?” He gestured to the bodies. “Who are these things?”
“The ship’s engineers…” McGucket answered. “Murdered after a cruelest fashion…”
“Got nuked.” Stan stated simply.
Wendy felt he needed a better explanation than that. “Okay, so like…” Her mind drifted back to her and Dipper’s adventure down in this wreck. They’d probed around this room out of curiosity, and happened to find the journal of the last sane engineer… Was it really only 6 days ago? “They locked themselves in here during the crash.” She explained. “When the rest of the ship was going nuclear, they sealed the doors to stay safe… And, uh… I guess… Okay, the engine of the ship was going all screwy, tearing up reality or somesuch.” She pointed to the scrawled words on the walls. “They started to lose their sanity, their grip on reality, even began to see into the future I guess… I’m not sure how much of it was Bill Cipher’s doing, but he was there too. He got into their dreams, brains, sanity… And he tore their minds apart… And… The last sane engineer, that guy…” She pointed. “I guess he was working on a modification to contain Bill’s weirdness… And then he lost it. He opened the door, and the radiation from the rest of the ship cooked them all alive… Sterilized them too, which is why they never rotted… And now here we are.”
“Oh…” Robbie frowned. “So… But you killed ‘Bill’, right? So this is all, like, literally perfectly harmless in every way now?”
“Yep.” Stan nodded.
“I guess.” Wendy shrugged.
“So…” Robbie pointed a thumb at McGucket, whose eyes were darting about, and whose hand seemed to be nervously seeking out the handle of his death ray. “What’s he on about?”
“Oh, heh…” McGucket immediately let go of the death ray when he realized how he must seem. “You know me… Just… Just a tad superstitious is all… Heh… Eh… Sorry…”
“Hey.” Wendy put a hand on his shoulder. “We’re all on edge. Just get the computer running, man…” She gave him a pat. “Then we can blow this pop stand. Yeah?”
“Yeh…” He seemed to regain some measure of confidence as he remembered their mission, and managed to tear his eyes away from the bodies long enough to make it to the main console on the other side of the room. From there, he leaned the death ray against a wall, and fished a small library of tools out of his overalls. Once his hands were wrapped around the familiar screwdriver and soldering gun, they steadied. “Okay, uh… Ya still got that computatraption on ya?”
“Yeah…” Wendy unslung her backpack, and pulled out the power control coupling.
“Kay, ya wanna get that installed while I start in on this?” He pointed to a loose panel on the wall. “If my reckoning of the pipelines and wiring is proper, it should go somewhere right in there…”
The other 3 managed to roll the panel aside, and sure enough, there was a series of 8 slots behind it, each shaped exactly like the device Wendy carried. 7 of the slots were blocked with the destroyed pieces of burned-out older ones, but the last slot was empty.
The coupling fit perfectly.
To one side of McGucket’s console, a single small green light flickered on.
“Wull, I’ll be a horn-swaggled boilerplate, I think we can get it runnin!” He laughed once, then caught himself. “This… I… Sorry, it’s just… This… This woula been a happy day…”
“How long you need?”
“Eh…” McGucket fished out a beefy computer, and plugged it into the console. A few more green lights turned on, and he began to type. “Gimme two hours?”
-Warning: Intrudurs have lifted the pre-ignition safety locks on reactor 5 without authorization.
The drones were programmed with a very particular set of skills: containing escaped test subjects, breaking up fights between passengers, defending restricted areas, pacifying external dangers, that sort of thing. Their entire minds were devoted toward threat assessment and combat.
But here was something else: the intruders actually appeared to be fixing the ship’s last remaining reactor. This type of situation was considerably outside the range of what they knew how to think about. There were absolutely no pre-programmed procedures for dealing with beneficial intruders.
The drones may not be very smart, but they were smart enough to know when they weren’t smart enough. -Warning: Directive unclear. Living officer, please advise. They requested.
But of course, the security officer had been dead for a long time now. A very long time. Their inquiries hadn’t received response for ages and ages… But they didn’t question that. They didn’t have the capacity to understand that. As far as they knew, their overseer was simply in the restroom or sleeping or something.
So they didn’t question it either when, for the first time in millennia, this very same overseer suddenly started giving them input again.
-Input: Stand by at long range and do not engage. Was the command. -Analyze the intruders’ biology and search for deviant life signs. Do not consider hostile until instructed.
-Directive accepted. Awaiting further input.
-Input: Display sensor feed on my monitor.
-Sensor feed linked. Awaiting further input.
-Input: That’s all for now.
-Drones 154, 155, 157 and 158 standing by. Welcome back, Lieutenant.
Two hours was a long time to wait when you’re on-edge, and even longer when you’re standing still in one place.
Twenty minutes in, they found themselves already bored.
Stan was asleep on one of the alien seats, a magazine propped up on his lap.
McGucket, who had no seat nearby and still had work to do, pressed a button on his robotic trousers to lock himself in an upright pose. His quiet hummed song joined Stan’s snoring as the only sounds in the room.
Wendy, still too restless to sit, just leaned back against a wall and stared at the insane alien graffiti. These words which once told the future… She wanted to read again what they said.
Robbie was even more restless than her. He wasn’t quite sure what to do while he waited, so he curiously broke the head off one of the dead bodies and began to examine it. It had three eyes, a sideways opening mouth… The mummified skin was thin and crusted, but must have once had the form of flexible scales… Fascinating. He smacked the skull against a wall, hoping to break it open to see what might be hidden inside.
“HEY!” Wendy noticed what he was doing, and barked in his direction.
He froze.
“Look, just…” She sighed, shrugged, motioned for him to set the head down. “Hey man, just a little respect, huh?”
“Right, right, yeah…” He set it down hastily. But then he thought about her comment for a moment, and frowned. “Wait, respect?” He asked. “What, for him?”
“For all of them. Dude.” Wendy spread her arms. “People died here, okay? Just… You know.”
“The work they did here kept Weirdmageddon from goin’ global…” McGucket muttered over his shoulder. “They’s heroes in their kind…”
“Well, sure, good for them.” Robbie shrugged. “But they weren’t doing it for you, they were probably just trying to save their own skins! And did a mighty fine job of it too… Look at these suckers!”
“Hey man, look—”
“What?” Robbie asked. “So they tried to save themselves, went hilariously mad, then killed themselves and accidentally, randomly, unforeseeably, did a favor for you a couple thousand years later… So what? They’re all just dead now, so who cares? I mean… They’re not even people, they’re just… lanky squid-type things.” He gave the detached head a spiteful little kick, and it rolled off. “Who cares?” He repeated.
Wendy and McGucket stared at him for a minute. McGucket subtly crossed himself as he turned back to his computer. Wendy shrugged and folded her arms.
Robbie put his hands on his hips. “What?” He asked again.
“Look…” Wendy told him. “If I’ve learned anything this past week, it’s that aliens are just folks… Sure, they may have tentacles or three eyes or scales or… Or they might have metal skin or might’ve grown up on some asteroid a dozen galaxies away, but in the end… They’re still just folks… These guys…” She spread her arms. “They probably had wives, or… Or parents, or kids, or… Eggs, or whatever the heck, I don’t know… But there were friends, family, people who cared about them. They died right in the middle of their hopes and dreams, they still had their souls… Somebody on some asteroid a dozen galaxies away still missed them… Somebody waited every day for them to come back except they didn’t. Somebody wished they’d never left except they did…. Somebody loved them. They’re not monsters. They’re not aliens… They’re just… People…”
Robbie frowned.
As if this idea were entirely new to him. As if it made him think.
Wendy turned back to the graffiti.
McGucket kept typing.
Stan kept Snoring.
Robbie spoke up again. “You ever met an alien?”
Wendy nodded. “Betty and Barney. Well… We called them Betty and Barney. Dunno how to pronounce their real names… But they were the farmers responsible for the Forest of Daggers, and we met their ghosts. They were pretty decent actually. Didn’t try to haunt us, even though they could’ve… Didn’t try to kill us, although they could’ve tried… Didn’t have to help us escape, but I think they did… I dunno.” She opened Dipper’s journal to a sketch he’d made of the two specters, and showed it at Robbie. “These were them… Good people.”
He took the book gently, and studied the faces. They looked monstrous, to be sure. Mouths full of razor-sharp saws, haunting, ghostly electric eyes, and nightmarish metallic skeletons floating in the air… Yet she said they were decent people. She said they were just folks. Dead folks. Loved folks… Even friendly to the organic living… They had names… They were… Friends…
Robbie closed the book and handed it back to her.
They were silent for a few moments more.
Then Robbie stood up, flipped his headlamp back on, and made for the door.
“Where you going?” She asked.
“I dunno…” He shrugged restlessly. “Just wanna look around. Wanna get out of here.”
She glanced back at McGucket, standing next to Stan’s sleeping form. They can handle themselves. Wendy thought. And she looked at the alien bodies. “Yeah. Me too.” She stood up and started after him. “And it’s dumb to go alone anyway…”
“Right…”
-Completed scan of intruders. The drones reported back. 4 bioforms, all carbon-based, aerobic, terrestrial vertebrates. Species unknown. Speed and strength moderate. Weaponry and defensive capabilities unknown. Bioform 1 is recognized from previous intrusion; threat level 16, high. Other threat levels unknown.
-Input: Do any of the intruders display abnormalities?
-Bioform 2 possesses an alternative body chemistry including: slightly adjusted air and fluid handling cycles, no adrenaline and other ordinary biological markers, and inconclusive bone density. Awaiting further input.
-Input: I want drone 154 to lock its sensors on bioform 2. Give me control of drone 154’s basic movement controls.
-Controls linked. Awaiting further input.
-Input: That will be all.
-Drones 154, 155, 157, 158, 163, and 164 standing by.
“Robbie…? Hey, your brain broke or what?” His eyes seemed to be fixed on the far wall of the vast engine room, as if mesmerized or perplexed by something. She snapped her fingers in front of his face to bring him out of his daze.
“Oh, uh…” He shook his head and turned back to her. “Yeah, sorry, I just, like… Sorry. Just spaced out for a minute…”
She looked where he’d been staring a moment ago, but couldn’t make out anything except perfect blackness in the distance. “Did ya see something?”
“I don’t know… What’s over that way anyway?”
“Uh…” She pulled Dipper’s journal back out, and opened it to the incomplete map he’d made of the wreck. “Uh… I don’t think we’ve ever been below the cargo level…” She studied the map. “But from this, it looks like there’s probably a ramp on that side leading down… So I think it’s new territory. Not sure.”
He thought for a moment longer. “Could we check it out?”
“Why?”
“Like… I dunno… It’s cool?”
“Why is it cool?”
“I dunno! Like…! I dunno, if we’ve never been down there we should probably just check it out, right?”
She blinked. “You totally saw something.”
“I don’t know…” He repeated. “It’s dark…”
“That’s so…” She checked her backpack: an axe, a crowbar, a list of handy spells, some snacks… She was ready as she ever would be. “All right, fine. We’ll go. HEY MCGUCKET!”
“Eh?”
“Robbie saw something toward the SouthEast side, so we’re gonna go exploring, okay? Looks to be further underground.”
“Eh… I dunno… How long you be gone?”
“Hour and a half? Before you’re through with that. If we’re not, wake Stan and call Ford.”
“All right… Uh… Be careful an’ stuff… We don’t know what all’s down here.”
“We kinda do…” Wendy mumbled.
So they set out, picking their way across and between the miscellaneous machinery of the engine room. Eventually a large, tall wall loomed up before them, unclimbable and impassable save for a pair of blast doors standing at the bottom. They were open just about wide enough for a security drone.
Wendy squeezed through first, Robbie followed, and they found themselves at the top of a long passageway, gently curving deeper into the blackness ahead. Wendy checked the map and saw nothing; they really were in uncharted territory now. Hesitantly, she returned the journal to her pack as they started their descent.
“So…” Maybe 5 minutes later, Robbie broke the silence again. “You said everything down here is dead, right?”
“Huh? Oh yeah…” Wendy nodded. “Well, ‘cept for the drones, a’course.”
“The what now?”
“Don’t worry; they’re stupid. If you don’t feel fear they’ll just ignore ya. And if they don’t, you can just shoot ‘em… Don’t let ‘em grab you though.”
“Okay… Yeah, but… But I was talking about aliens… You’re sure nothing survived the crash? Like, those engineers all died after the fact, and whoever ‘Betty and Barney’ were, they lived long enough to do their thing… Like… It seems totally bogus that everything died…”
“Yeah… There were a few survivors.” Wendy admitted. “But they were picked off. Hunted down and killed one by one.”
“…All of them?”
“To a man.”
“…By what?”
“A shapeshifter.” Wendy recognized how scary that probably sounded, and explained. “Okay, so, this, uh… Let’s see, this ship was an explorer, like Christopher Columbus, right? And it was exploring planets all over the galaxy, collecting specimens and junk like that… Well, just like Christopher Columbus, their Captain was a grade-A sack of crap. Didn’t care whether the ‘test subjects’ were intelligent or dangerous or whatnot, he just kept doing his thing, trying to use them for his own purposes… Well, it kinda blew up in his face after the crash, because this one test subject, this shapeshifter, got free. And she was real mad because of all the things they’d done to her, and she was also really, really smart I guess. She hacked the security system, took control of the drones, and killed everyone left. Kinda… I guess I kinda get it, but still. A lot of innocent people died.”
Robbie considered this for a while, a strange look on his face. “Oh.” He finally said.
They kept walking.
When the tunnel forked, Robbie suggested they take the small passage to the left, but Wendy said they may as well follow the larger route to whatever end it held. Robbie reluctantly agreed.
Turns out, that end was water. Wendy supposed they were underground, and not too far from a lake, so some flooding made sense.
The surface was utterly dark and filthy; bits and scraps of decayed wreckage stood on top of the miry surface, and a smell like an ancient, rusty swamp wafted from it; a reek quite unlike anything they might have imagined before. It made sense; this water hadn’t moved in thousands of years, just stood there, stagnant, while the metal hull slowly rusted, and whatever growth could manage grew and died on the sparse nutrients. Was this earthly life, trapped down here in this isolated bog? Or was it some plant, fungus, or foul contamination from worlds away, carried within the ship’s own stores?
Who knows. Needless to say, they wouldn’t be swimming.
So they turned around and trekked back up the tunnel to the fork Robbie had first suggested. It seemed to Wendy like as good an option as any.
This tunnel was narrower, and branched off into many rooms and passages. Some of the doors were locked; others were rusted shut, others opened into flooded chambers, and the rest stocked equipment or furniture decayed beyond recognition.
Nothing of interest. They continued down the tunnel. Neither of them were really sure where they were going or what they were looking for, but at least they weren’t lost. The hallway was basically straight, and wider than the surrounding passages, so as long as they stayed close to it, they would always have their sense of direction.
But the tunnel ended, as all tunnels do. Toward the end, it seemed to flatten; the metal was buckled and bent, and seemed to have been collapsed upwards…
“What caused this?” Robbie frowned.
Wendy thought. “Oh.” She realized. “We’re down at the bottom of the ship. This is the part that was crushed when it hit the ground.”
“Ah.”
Wendy shrugged. “So… Where are we going, man? What are we even doing here? I mean, you thought you saw something, but we didn’t find anything. You happy?”
“Well…” Robbie looked around. All the ship seemed perfectly silent for a moment. “Have…” He stuttered, as if something very large were on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t know how to let it out or if he should. “You ever had weird dreams, Wendy?” He blurted.
Wendy blinked. “Weird dreams. Whoever heard of such a thing.”
“W-w-well yeah, I know, like…” He stuttered. “I know all dreams are weird, but have you ever seen like, something totally bogus and crazy and it totally sticks with you because I don’t know?”
“Elaborate.”
“Like… I don’t know… Like somebody else’s dream? Have you ever dreamed somebody else’s dream? Like… Like if things turned out different, and your life didn’t look like it did, then you might have seen what you saw… But you can never quite remember, and you know it’s not a real memory, but it just sticks with you? Like… Somebody’s been in your head…?”
“Well that was just needlessly cryptic.” Wendy informed him. “I have literally no idea what you’re talking about.”
“It’s… It’s just…” Robbie ran his hands through his hair, and seemed much more focused and alert than he usually did. His headlamp beam swept the walls. “It’s just that I, like, totally remember this hallway!”
Wendy looked around. It didn’t look like any hallway she’d ever seen. Like any hallway that had ever existed in the human world. She looked back at him. “Did you see it in a movie or a video game or something?” She guessed.
“No, no, I mean… Not the colors or the feel, but the exact shape… That collapsed bit there just clicks somehow… Even this little seam in the floor right here… And I think this door leads to a side passage that goes deeper…!” He walked over to a random, unassuming hatch, and gave it a push. Surprisingly, it wasn’t rusted shut, and eased slowly open. “Does that make any sense?”
Wendy frowned at the door for several seconds. Then frowned at him for several seconds. “…Do you ‘remember’ what’s back there?” She asked.
He shook his head.
“…Well…” She shrugged. “I’ve seen flying eyeballs turn people to stone. I’ve seen kids magically cloning themselves. I’ve seen Soos with a pig’s brain. I’ve seen alien robot ghosts.” She pulled out McGucket’s ray gun, gave the hallway behind them a quick check, then nodded toward the open door. “After all that, this ain’t so weird. Lead the way, o prophet.”
This new way was small and cramped. A veritable maze of twisted metal, snaking below and between walls, through the cracks between separated panels and severed pipes, the one single path through this wreckage of the vessel’s lower reaches. There was room enough for a person to easily squeeze through, as Wendy and Robbie were steadily proving, but never enough space to stand up or really get a sense of direction.
But bizarrely, Robbie seemed to know where he was going.
-Warning: Final safety locks have been released on reactor 5. Intruders could begin startup procedures at any time.
-Input: Disregard. Do not interfere.
-Warning: Intruders 1 and 2 are now approaching location designation ‘Keep’.
-Input: Disregard. Continue long-range observation. This is all part of the plan.
-Drones 154, 155, 157, 158, 163, 164, 174, and 175 standing by.
After maybe 20 minutes of crawling and scrambling and dodging hard corners in the tight space, they emerged into a wider hallway, collapsed about 20 feet in either direction. Robbie pointed to a metal panel jammed in place against the wall, and said he thought that a way forward was hidden behind it.
But Wendy didn’t help him move it. Instead she stood back, and sighed. “You know Robbie.” She started reluctantly. “As a general rule, you never really admit your mistakes or make apologies. One of the reasons we broke up.”
“Uh?” He tried to jiggle the panel sideways, hoping to loosen it. “What?”
“Normally.” She continued. “You’re kinda like ‘ugh, whatever’ to everything. Not really excited or curious… You’re kinda adventurous, but never on your own, and only to impress people, especially Tambry. And you’re much more interested in girls than with aliens.”
“Well…” He found the jagged part that the panel was caught on, and realized he had to push it in to pull it out. “So…?”
“But today you apologized for everything.” She said. “You told me everything you should have said a year ago, really sucked it up and acted the gentleman. And then, you ventured down into an alien ship on your own volition, without Tambry, not to impress me, really for no reason at all… And then, you willingly followed your weird space dreams through cramped little tunnels, and… And now… Now a girl’s been pointing a gun at your back for fifteen minutes and you haven’t even noticed.”
“Huh—AGH!” Robbie finally turned around, and saw her standing in a ready stance, holding the blaster nice and steady at her hip, aimed right for the center of his torso. He jumped to his feet and put up his hands. “What the heck, Wendy?!? What are you-what are you doing?!?”
“Being a lot less stupid than you think I am.” She smiled humorlessly. “Taking the initiative before we get wherever you’re going.”
“Wai—HUH?” He frowned. “Wait, you think I’m the shapeshifter? What the heck?”
“Hey.” She told him. “Calm down. The Shifter’s been dead for thousands of years, why would I be paranoid about her now?”
“Well…” He frowned, as if struggling for an answer. “Well… Well Mabel told me that there’s one alive today! And it’s in a bunker that Ford made!”
“Oh right… You do know about that one somehow. Of course. You’re right. I should be paranoid of him.” Wendy nodded. “Now again, calm down. If you’re really Robbie, then you’ll be able to prove it, and you’ve nothing to fear. Right?”
“Like…” He took a deep breath, and seemed to calm down. “Like, yeah, I am Robbie… But… But you could be a shapeshifter too…! I think… I think you’re the one who’s acting suspicious, and!”
“Except I’m not the one with a gun pointed at my crucials.” She reminded him. “So let’s not change the subject, huh?”
There was a brutish sort of wisdom to that. “…Okay.” He nodded.
“What’s your girlfriend’s name?” Wendy asked.
“Tambry.”
“That was an easy one. Band name.”
“Robbie V. and The Tombstones.”
“Address?”
“42nd Pinewood Blvd.”
“…Dad’s job?”
“He runs the morgue and the graveyard with mom. And really creepy about it, too… Stupid…”
“What are your talents?”
“Guitar, singing… Spray painting, like, totally counts as a talent too, and…”
“And your secret talent?”
“I… Uh…” His eyes fell. “Drawing anime… Except its actually called manga but nobody understands…”
“Biggest regret?”
“Uh…” He appeared to be hesitating but was really racking his brain. “Hypnotizing you…”
Wendy thought for a moment. She needed a better test; some knowledge that only her and Robbie would know… Something that Robbie would never have told anyone in a million years…
“What color was my bra that night?” Wendy asked.
“Huh?”
“My bra. That night. What color?”
“I…” He frowned. “I…”
She waited.
“I…” He shook his head. “I…” His voice got small, fearful. “I think… White?”
She sighed, glad for some certainty at last. “Wrong answer.”
“…I mean… It might’ve been grey.”
“Strike two.”
“Pink? I… Look, that really wasn’t the part I was paying attention to, alright?”
She put up a hand and stopped him there. “Trick question.” She informed him. “Robbie never saw anything of the sort… And got a black eye for trying.”
The shapeshifter closed his mouth.
“All right.” Wendy’s voice was low, steady, and deathly serious. “Now here’s how it’s gonna work, dude: You’re gonna shapeshift reeeeeaaaal slowly into something nice and harmless. And then you’re gonna tell me exactly how and when you escaped, what you’ve been doing since, and who you’ve hurt along the way. You gimme any sort of trouble? This thing melts a hole. SAVVY?”
Very slowly, Robbie’s clothes, hair, and headlamp disappeared, melting back into his flesh. His skin paled, and stretched, and dissolved. The mass that was left seemed to expand, morph, and twist, and finally Wendy was looking at the alien’s true form. Its lumpy white hands clasped on top of its head, and it kneeled on the floor in a position of surrender. Two large, bulbous red eyes locked with Wendy’s.
And the weird toothed mouth tried a hesitant smile.
“Well.” She hadn’t heard the creature’s true voice in a long time, and it brought back some awful awkward memories. “All that talk.” His voice rolled. “All that talk about how aliens aren’t monsters… About how they’re just people… Respect them, you said. Treat them as equals, you said. I met some decent folks, you said… All that talk, and now you’d shoot me…”
Wendy shook her head. “It’s not about what or who you are man… It’s about what you’ve done. You’ve lied. You’ve stolen. You tried to kill us. You have killed for all I know, and I can’t ignore that. Now. How. Did you. Escape.”
“…Stasis tube malfunctioned for some reason about a week ago.” He said. “Then… A few days later, Robbie came down to freeze some samples he and Mable had been collecting from the robotic forest… He left the door open.”
“Robbie. You did what with him?”
The shapeshifter didn’t say anything.
Wendy bit her lip, and moved on. “Who else have you hurt?”
He shook his head. “No one.”
“…You’re lying.”
“I’m not.” He told her.
“Prove it.”
“Call Tambry. Tell her she spent the week with an alien. She’ll be surprised. She’ll be conflicted. She’ll want to talk to me. Because I was a great Robbie. Better than he ever was; you said it yourself: he was prideful, self-centered, lustful. A real jerk. He was taking his life on a wild wide to nowhere. But I was a good boy. People who thought they knew me knew I cared… Tambry loves Robbie more now. And if she had him back? It would be a rude awakening…”
Wendy almost did make the call. But she wasn’t all that confident in her ability to hold somebody at gunpoint while talking on the phone. It was like distracted driving; not a good idea. And besides, she wasn’t all that confident in her phone’s ability to get cell service way down here.
“So.” Wendy said. “Just one question then. Why haven’t you killed me today? Why lead me off toward wherever this is? Where are we going?”
“I don’t know.” He told her.
“You don’t know?”
“I don’t know.”
She considered that for a moment. “Do too.”
“Do not.”
“Do too.”
“Do not.”
“Do too.”
“Do not.”
“Do too.”
“You’re so mature.” He scoffed.
“YOU’RE so mature.” She corrected him.
“I’m telling you the truth, woman! I remember this place, but I don’t know where or how and I just want to see what’s down at the end!”
“And I will shoot you! IN THE FACE!”
“Where I CAME FROM! Please!”
She swallowed her next threat, and glanced at the wall panel he’d been trying to move out of the way. “How can I trust you?” She asked. “What can you plainly tell me? And after all you’ve done, why shouldn’t I shoot you? In the face? Right here? Right now?”
“I…” He looked at the panel as well. “I…” He turned back to her. His little claws clicked as he thought for a moment. “Wendy Corduroy.” He finally blurted. “What if you were raised by gnomes?”
Wendy pondered this, and decided it was an interesting thought experiment. She took on a more comfortable stance. “Go on.”
“What if a horde of tiny little men found you as a toddler, and kept you chained up in a big hollow stump, deep in the forest? You never knew your parents. You never knew who or what you were. ‘Human’ was a word they never used, not even ‘female’, you didn’t even have a name, only ‘monster’. ‘Specimen’. ‘Creature’. ‘Biologic anomaly!’ You were a peculiar giant, with red hair, long arms and legs, and muscles the size of their torsos; capable of feats of strength they’d never even imagined.”
“Okaaaay…” Wendy frowned.
“They would come into your stump every once in a while.” The shifter continued. “Just to poke and prod you and admire how fast you were learning their language, learning to play chess, learning to use tools, learning to perform little tricks for them. Ever since you’d learned what ‘person’ meant, you knew that you were one, or at least longed to become one… But you hadn’t the faintest idea how, and they would not listen. To them, you were nothing. You were a pet sometimes, when they were feeling generous. You were an annoyance other times, and they would shun you…
“But mostly… Mostly they treated you like a prize animal, as if they were fattening you up to eat you. Every time you were a little bit bigger and fatter they would congratulate themselves and say ‘Wow! Look at her! Soooo marvelous!’ And they fed you beans, nothing but bucketfulls of beans, and you never knew what anything else tasted like… Until one day… You realized what your basic instincts were saying: that meat was food as well. And you began to wonder what a gnome would taste like if you shaved off the beard and cooked it… You reasoned that gnomes were weak. You could probably bend them, break them, tear them up, they were so small…
“With such ideas in your head, one day you tried to escape. You tore open the shackles on your feet. You got out of the stump, and tried to read their notes, find out who you are, find out what more there is beyond your tiny world. You wanted the answer, just a simple answer to a simple question: Who are you? So simple!
“But it didn’t work. They locked you in a cage, with a whole truckload of beans for company, and then they forgot all about you. For 30 long years they forgot about you, left you alone with the echoes for company. When you were old… Old enough to be an adult. Old enough that you should have finished a nice education. Old enough to excel at a wonderful job. Old enough that by rights you should have settled down with a nice little man and become a mother of two, old enough that you should be surrounded with family if all were right in the world… When you were OLD…! That was when you finally escaped…
“If you were raised by Gnomes, Wendy Corduroy, would you have done any differently than I?”
The shapeshifter rose to his feet, and took a step towards her.
No matter his story, that was a step too far. She pulled the trigger.
The laser bolt hit the Shifter right in the chest. But it wasn’t nearly as powerful as she’d hoped, and the creature didn’t stop. Before she could let off a second shot, it had snatched the weapon from her hands, and smashed it to pieces on the floor.
Now his gigantic, hideous head was mere inches from her face. Wendy stood her ground silently, her fingers twitching as she contemplated reaching for another weapon, wondering if a fight was necessary, wondering if a fight would even work…
She looked down, and watched his flesh shift and stretch over the blaster wound, shrinking and closing and scarring over and healing completely. In only a minute, it was like there was no wound at all.
She looked back up at his face.
The red, lidless eyes glared at her. The claws around the mouth clicked quietly. His mucus layer rippled and his breath reeked.
He turned away from her, grabbed the metal panel stuck against a wall, and ripped it free. He tossed it down the hall, and it clattered to a stop at the end with a great noise.
There was, indeed, a tunnel hidden behind it.
Without a sound, he collapsed into a slightly narrower form to fit better.
“Lead the way then dude…” Wendy mumbled, and started after him.
The shifter turned and glared down at her one more time. “And my name.” He snarled. “Is Sam.”
-Warning: Intruders have begun Reactor 5 startup. Power output: 5% and rising. Coolant levels sufficient.
-Warning: Intruders have access to all remaining ship systems and engines.
-Warning: Intruders 1 and 2 are presently entering location designation: ‘Keep’.
-Input: Assign bioforms 3 and 4 a threat level of 20. Combat preference: Immediate lethal force. You are clear to engage. Take no survivors.
-Threat reassessed. Antimatter pellets loaded and launchers charged. Drones 155, 157, 158, 163, 164, 174, 175 and 179 engaging.
-Drones 154, 180, 181, 182, 183, and 188, standing by.
-Input: Reserve forces, prepare to enter Keep.
Wendy began to make out a faint light at the end of the tunnel. Ahead of her, she saw the Shifter’s silhouette emerge from the passage, stand up straight, and freeze.
She came up behind him, and stood slowly.
The room was maybe the size of a 3-car garage. It was all collapsed on one side, and all other easy entrances were closed off. It wasn’t quite dark, thanks to a few glowing computer screens set up near the center. It wasn’t quite dry, thanks to a small trickle of clean, fresh water flowing down through a broken pipe.
And it wasn’t quite empty.
Wendy’s first thought was ‘storage room’, judging by the piles of hexagonal crates stacked and littered near the corners.
But there were also the bodies.
Dozens of skeletons stuck to the wall with what looked like giant-sized spider webbing, hanging there with their feet maybe 3 feet off the ground, and their arms stretched out horizontally, as if crucified. Most of them were the squid-type aliens that made up most of the ship’s crew. Some were a little different; probably some of the other passengers who’d bought passage as colonists… There were even a few humans. But there was one; one of them had a mouth made of saws, and a metal skeleton, and Wendy remembered having met his ghost. Barney. The man who’d died trying to kill the original shapeshifter.
Speaking of which.
In the center of the room, hunched over a collection of glowing computer screens, there stood a single living figure. Its fingers quietly tapped out some kind of command on the computer, and a few lights flashed. A half-dozen security drones hovered in through openings high on the walls, and turned their red triangular gaze down on the two new visitors.
The figure stood to its feet, and turned around.
And twirled a tape measure in its hand.
“Hello Sam.” It said.
“Mom…”
Gsv rmgifwvih szw urmrhsvw ivkzrih lm ivzxgli 5, zmw szw gsvivuliv lfgorevw gsvri fhvufomvhh. 8 wilmvh wrw vczxgob zh gsvb szw yvvm rmhgifxgvw, drgslfg z yirvuvhg nlnvmg’h svhrgzgrlm. Gsvb slevivw jfrvgob lfg lu gsv wzipmvhh, gsvri vbvh urcvw lm gsv vmgizmxv gl gsv xlmgilo illn, gsvri dvzklmh slg, gsvri nrmwh zoivzwb erhfzorarmt gsv yzggov.
Rmgifwvi 3, dsln uirvmwob uzxvh pmvd zh NxTfxpvg, dzh hgroo yfhb zg gsv xlnkfgvi, zmw dlfow mlg yv zyov gl ivzxg rm grnv. Z hrmtov zmgrnzggvi ilfmw xlfow kvmvgizgv srh glihl zmw vckolwv, proormt srn rmhgzmgob. Rmgifwvi 4 ivnzrmvw xzgzglmrx rm gsv xszri; vevm ru sv dviv gl dzpv fk mld, sv dlfow mlg yv zyov gl luuvi nfxs ivhrhgzmxv. Zmlgsvi zmgrnzggvi ilfmw dlfow gvinrmzgv srn.
Gdl hslgh. Gszg’h zoo gszg dzh mvvwvw. Vzxs wilmv olzwvw ulfi uli tllw nvzhfiv.
Yfg gsvm hlnvgsrmt szkkvmvw.
Z yiroorzmg uozhs lu yofv ortsg org fk gsv xlmgilo illn. NxTfxpvg qfnkvw yzxpdziwh uiln gsv xlmgiloh, hgzigovw zmw uirtsgvmvw. Wrw R qfhg wl gszg? Gsrh zorvm gvxs nfhg yv glfxsrvi gszm rg ollph… Yfg gsvm dsvm sv ollpvw sziw zg gsv ivzwlfgh, mlgsrmt hvvnvw gl szev xszmtvw… Zoo gsv hvggrmth zmw uvvwyzxp dviv qfhg dsviv sv’w ovug gsvn… Yfg gsvm sv mlgrxvw hlnvgsrmt ivzoob jfrgv lww: Gsv kozhnz yvzn dvzklm gszg szw yvvm ovzmvw yvhrwv srn dzh ml olmtvi gsviv. Sv tozmxvw zilfmw. Hgzm wrwm’g szev rg. Dsviv wrw rg tl? Dszg szkkvmvw? Rg dzh irtsg sv—
Gsv hlfmw lu vrtsg hrnfogzmvlfh vckolhrlmh vxslvw gsilfts gsv illn. Sv svziw wvyirh izggormt ztzrmhg gsv dzooh uiln lfghrwv, hzd z hxizk lu yfimvw divxpztv ylfmxv rm kzhg gsv wllih, zmw hsziwh lu kozgrmt zmw xsfmph lu ilylgrx rmmziwh xozggvirmt gl gsv tilfmw lfghrwv.
Hgzm dzh zdzpv rm zm rmhgzmg. “SR SVB ML KOVZHV HFHZM R XLFOWM’G…! *Hmiu* Svvvvb, xzm’g z uvooz tvg zmb hovvk zilfmw sviv?”
“R wfmml dszgzkkvmvw!” NxTfxpvg xirvw. “Dszhzkkvmrm’ dszgdzhhzg mlrhv dslhgsviv dsvivrmgzimzhsrm nb wvzgs izb ifm luu gl?”
Hgzm ulooldvw srn gl gsv wlli zmw gsvb ylgs ollpvw lfg. Hgzm wrwm’g ivnvnyvi rg yvrmt jfrgv hl dzin zmw hnlpb. NxTfxpvg wrwm’g ivnvnyvi gsviv yvrmt jfrgv hl nzmb yfimvw, hnzhsvw krovh lu ilylgrx divxpztv.
Sv zohl wrwm’g ivnvnyvi ovzermt srh wvzgs izb lfg sviv. Bvg gsviv rg dzh, hrggrmt lm gsv uolli zg srh uvvg, gszg evib hznv gllo sv’w nrhkozxvw hvxlmwh ztl.
Yfg rg dzh wruuvivmg mld. Rgh uilmg vmw dzh yozxpvmvw zmw yfimvw zmw hnvoovw lu hfoufi, zmw gsv ivhg dzh xlevivw rm nbhgvirlfh hxizgxsvh zmw wvmgh. Rgh szmwov szw yvvm yilpvm zmw ivkzrivw drgs z yrg lu wfxg gzkv. Rgh ylggln dzh nfwwb dsviv rg szw yvvm wilkkvw. NxTfxpvg krxpvw rg fk zmw ulfmw gszg rg dzh ortsgvi; rgh ufvo gzmph dviv mvziob vnkgb. Zmw z jfrxp xsvxp lu gsv vovxgirxzo xszitv ivevzovw gszg gsv yzggvirvh dviv zonlhg dzhgvw zh dvoo.
Gsv rtmrgrlm xsznyvi dzh hgroo dzin.
“Dvoo R’oo yv z klip-yvoorvw uvzgsvi-svzigvw wrmtovyviib… Dszg rm gsv mznv lu nv Kzkkrv’h tryyviuofmpvw yiznyovhmrkkrm’ Nrhhrhhrkkr xlnyrmv qfhg szkkvmvw?”
“Blf mvvw gl gzpv yvggvi xziv lu gszg gsrmt.” Hgzm glow srn.
“Wrw blf qfhg wl gszg qfhg mld?” NxTfxpvg zhpvw.
“Wrw dsl wl sfs? Wrw hlnvgsrmt szkkvm?”
“Dsz--? Yfg… Gsv gsrmt…? Ls nb, ollprg gsvhv klli ilyrgh…”
Hgzm nzwv z olmt hgirmt lu xlmufhvw tifmpovb mlrhvh. “Dvok, R’n rm levi nb svzw. Blf tlg z yilgsvi R xlfow xzoo? R nvzm… Z kslmv R xlfow yilgsvi? R nvzm… Zts, xzm’g gzop glwzb. Svb dzrgznrmfgv, dsviv ziv gsv prwh?”
#The Forest Of Daggers#wendip#wendy x dipper#gravity falls#scifi#wendy corduroy#dipper pines#shapeshifter#see you next summer#fanfiction#fanart#alien#robot#ghost#wendipweek
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Vaylon's Crazy Theory #1: Pony Head will die, and Marco will use her horn as a weapon.
I told you these theories would be crazy, even for me.
First, a disclaimer: the contents of this post are sold as-is. Not guaranteed to actually predict the future, end shipping wars, or bring total enlightenment. Read at your own risk. May cause drowsiness or confusion. Void where prohibited. All sales are final. NO REFUNDS.
(This will be a long post.)
Perhaps you're thinking to yourself, "Vaylon, you crazy person, you, how on earth could you even begin to possibly justify such an outlandish theory?!" Well, what if I told you that it starts all the way back in episode 1b: "Party with a Pony"? But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story: let's talk about the Holy Grail.
Not This @#$% Again!
If you're a regular follower of my blog, then I'm sure by now you're sick to death of me talking about the Holy Grail theory and how I think Lekmet's horn will come to play a big role in future seasons. Well, too bad! It’s a good theory, and I’m proud of it. There’s plenty of evidence for it, in my opinion -- but I missed something related to the Grail. Something big.
You see, I'm kind of an idiot for not realizing the possibility of this Pony Head theory sooner. The answer is literally right in front of my face every day. Have you ever seen my profile picture? It's the Lance of Longinus from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Evangelion's Lance is based on an actual legend in medieval Christian tradition. The legend says that a Roman soldier named Longinus wanted to make sure that Christ was really dead, so he stabbed him in the side with his spear. (The use of the word lance instead of spear is debatable, but I like the alliteration, so I'm going to use it.) All sorts of stories and magical powers are associated with this weapon, and lots of different relics claim to be the "true" Lance. But here's the thing I had forgotten: in order for the Grail to catch the blood of Christ (and thus become the Grail), there has to be a sizable wound. The Lance, then, is what causes that wound.
The Holy Grail is only half of the picture! You can't have the Grail without the Lance; they go together. I felt like a fool when I realized the connection I’d been missing -- the hint was right in front of me the whole time.
In Arthurian tales, the Grail and Lance often go hand-in-hand -- one or both are depicted as continually dripping with blood -- and there have been lots (and lots) of books written about the symbolism behind the two mythical objects. One reading is that the Grail and Lance symbolically represent feminine and masculine aspects, respectively. Or, more irreverently, they represent Venus and Mars. Any of this starting to sound familiar yet?
I've written previously about Star being associated with the goddess Venus. Marco, then, of course, is associated with the god Mars; not only is his name ultimately derived from Mars, but he has a strong connection to the color red and to martial arts. The Roman god of war is depicted as carrying a spear as a weapon -- indeed, it's part of his symbol, which has now become the traditional symbol for "male." If there is indeed a Lance in Star vs. the Forces of Evil, then it seems only fitting that Marco -- the Lancer of the series -- comes to wield it.
Once I started thinking about the Lance, it was easy to find references to it (some more subtle than others). I've divided the theory into two sections: the first part will deal with connecting Pony Head to the Lance (and hence to Marco). The second part will deal with the foreshadowing of Pony Head's death. Let's begin!
Pony Head and Marco
Remember "Party with a Pony" -- the very first episode we see Pony Head in? Do you remember what game Pony Head and Marco play at the Amethyst Arcade?
Lance Lance Revolution! I was stunned when I recalled that scene. (I also wonder if it's a stealth reference to the opening of Revolutionary Girl Utena -- watch for the flying horses!) Notably, Pony Head loses the game to Marco. Indeed, for what it's worth, there are a number of references to sharp objects in "Party with a Pony":
The series is trying to establish a comparison between lances and Pony Head. Sound far-fetched? Perhaps -- but that's the point (so to speak) of this post. This theory's reading opens up the episode to a lot of irony in lines like this, for instance:
Pony Head: Look here, Earth Turd. This night is really important to me. You mess that up, and you’re gonna get the horn.
Marco could literally receive the horn from Pony Head. And there is another line in "Party with a Pony" that is much, much darker upon re-interpretation, but I'll save that for the second half. For now, let's move on to some other episodes.
Both Star and Marco make use of Pony Head several times throughout the series as a tool:
Her role as a tool in "St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses" and in "Pizza Thing" could foreshadow the eventual use of her horn as a weapon. "Pizza Thing" is particularly interesting as it focuses on Pony Head and Marco's relationship -- indeed, every time we see Pony Head on-screen, she is somehow causing trouble for Marco -- and there are odd lines in it like this one that seem to hint at something else going on:
Pony Head, however, does have a sharp edge to stab someone with. Marco using her horn as a weapon would be symbolic of the friendship between him and Pony Head; we would think of her every time he uses it. This shot is probably the most symbolic one in the episode, however:
Bowls, as I noted before in my post on the Holy Grail, are symbolic of the Grail; the symbolism, I think, is reinforced by Pony Head putting eggs into it. (Pizza dough does not ordinarily have eggs in it!) Remember: the Grail and the Lance go together. They are a pair, just like Star and Marco.
Finally, there's a pretty unusual passage in Star and Marco's Guide to Mastering Every Dimension:
It seems likely to me that the writers intend far more meaning behind Pony Head and Marco's relationship than is apparent at first glance; if this theory is correct, then perhaps Marco and Pony Head will become much closer than they are now just before she is killed, and he will commit himself to keeping her memory alive in a way she would have wanted.
Word Associations
I think "The Bounce Lounge" -- another often-overlooked episode -- is important, too, for establishing darker themes associated with Pony Head: that of old age, finality, and death. Yet, before we get into those themes, there's something odd going on in this episode, something that I've previously remarked on: shot-for-shot, "The Bounce Lounge" and "The Hard Way" have similar composition. (If you play both episodes at the same time, you'll see for yourself what I'm talking about.) In particular, I would like to focus on these two shots:
Visually, Pony Head is being compared to a pillar. Pillars play an unusual role in the series; for one thing, they're connected to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade -- a film about the quest for the Holy Grail. For instance, the pillars that mark the clues that Indiana Jones follows are echoed in the second half of season two of Star vs. the Forces of Evil:
Pillar is a word with an interesting etymology. As you can see, it's ultimately derived from the Latin pila -- a word with some interesting connections (among them: mortar and pestle, pistil) -- but, more to the point (again, so to speak), it’s also etymologically connected to the Latin word pilum -- the famed javelin of the Roman soldier. Both pila and pilum probably have their origin in the proto-Indo-European root *peys- meaning "to crush."
The word pillar is ultimately derived from a root meaning "to crush." If you’re skeptical about the significance of this, just consider what a pillar does at the end of "The Battle for Mewni":
Yeah.
I don't think there's any need for us to balk at this sort of word association -- with cleaved in "Storm the Castle" and Janna sleeping in the grave in "Bon Bon the Birthday Clown," the writers have clearly demonstrated that they're aware of the meanings and etymologies of words. (As an aside, think about how much importance the word crush has in episodes like "Sleepover" and "Starcrushed"!) If Pony Head can be compared to a pillar, then she certainly can be compared to a javelin (or, more aptly, a spear).
The amount of suffering in "The Battle for Mewni" -- and the sheer number of times that the words dead or kill are used -- hint that the series as a whole is moving toward a darker, more serious tone. Would the death of a supporting character really be that out of place? There are some elements scattered throughout the series so far which hint at Pony Head's death; let's take a look at them.
The Shadow of Death
Even from the beginning of Pony Head's introduction, there's an air of danger and death around her; after all, in "Party with a Pony," she does try to kill Marco:
In the same episode, Marco responds to Pony Head with some violence of his own:
If this theory is right, and Pony Head is destined to die, consider how darkly ironic King Pony Head's incredible line at the end of "Party with a Pony" becomes:
King Pony Head: Ah, kids... You have 'em, and then you... wish they weren't around.
And that episode isn't the only one like that; as I noted earlier, "The Bounce Lounge" is entirely themed around old age, finality, and endings. There's a crow in the decrepit Bounce Lounge, an omen of death (if you watch the scene, note how the sound travels to the left channel, drawing your attention to the crow):
There's some visual metaphor going on as well: when Star starts to cry, all of her glass unicorn figurines shatter into pieces. Could this be foreshadowing Star's sorrow at her best friend's death? Indeed, the entire episode seems dedicated to priming the audience for -- something -- some kind of major loss or death:
Furthermore, Milly Sparkles says "six customers" -- and the show wants us to pay attention to what she says and how she says it -- but there are actually seven characters present:
At first, I wondered if something would happen to Marco, since he's the only one not reflected in Milly's shades, but in light of this theory, I now think it's Pony Head. A stretch, admittedly (isn't it all?), but it's hard to deny that "The Bounce Lounge" is a grim portent. To a lesser extent, “Running with Scissors” also presages death in what could be an ironic fashion:
This theory of mine about Pony Head may also help explain something I'd been puzzling over for quite a while during the season two finale livestream, which featured Marco and StarFan13 talking about Easter eggs to watch for during "Face the Music" and "Starcrushed":
StarFan13: Did you find all the Easter eggs? Did you find the unicorn skull, the pizza nuggets, and the shoulder tassels?
As far as I know, there's no unicorn skull in either "Face the Music" or "Starcrushed." However, there are some bones near the flytrap-like plant in "Face the Music":
But those don't look like unicorns to me; look at their teeth. (Also, the clues indicate we're looking for a single unicorn skull.) Perhaps this connection is far-fetched, but I always thought the hint of "unicorn skull" prefigured some other death -- and now I think it may be referring to Pony Head's eventual demise. (If someone has an alternate explanation for the unicorn skull hint, I would be happy to hear it!) But this is just a minor point compared to what I think is the biggest clue of all...
In a post about "Starcrushed," I wrote about how, among other things, the Magic High Commission and Star's group of friends all seem to run parallel to one another:
Emergency Friend Meeting: Star, Pony Head, Kelly, Janna, and StarFan13.
Magic High Commission: Moon, Lekmet, Omnitraxus Prime, Hekapoo, and Rhombulus.
Thanks to Moon in "Return to Mewni," we know for a fact that Lekmet is gone for good:
Since "Starcrushed" implicitly compares Star's group of friends to the Magic High Commission, I don't think it's too much of a stretch to posit that one of Star's friends could die as well -- and the closest one to Lekmet in terms of kind and symbolism is Pony Head.
Lekmet is associated with healing (as is the Holy Grail); similarly, real-life legends about unicorns are also associated with healing -- their alleged horns were valuable, sought-after items believed to be cure-alls and were purchased by medieval nobles wanting to protect themselves against poison and disease. Both Lekmet and Pony Head have prominent horns, although Pony Head uses hers for magic, and it hasn't been revealed -- yet, anyway -- whether or not Lekmet's horn is magic (but I think it will be soon).
If Lekmet's horn is to be used as a magic item by Star, then is it really that much of a stretch to imagine Pony Head dying and her horn being used as a weapon by Marco?
How It All Goes Down
From what I've been reading, plenty of fans dislike Pony Head; in any case, I would certainly not characterize her as a popular character. I think she's fine in small doses, and at times she can even be hilariously off-beat: her appearance in "Running with Scissors" attests to that! A moment of redemption for her -- something to truly bolster audience opinion of her, perhaps even a heroic sacrifice -- would fit perfectly, I think, into the development of an otherwise unlikable character. It makes a whole lot of sense to me.
And, if it is to happen, then it seems obvious how: Miss Heinous. From "Heinous" -- an episode that I love due to how utterly off-the-rails demented it is -- it's clear that Miss Heinous is quite involved in the process of losing her grip on reality, and she's also become far more bloody-minded than previously shown. Here's a possible chain of events:
Miss Heinous threatens to kill Marco.
Pony Head sacrifices herself to save Marco.
Marco takes Pony Head's horn for revenge.
Implausible? Sure. I freely admit that this theory is crazy -- it's in the title, after all -- but I absolutely think it could happen, and that's what makes it so deliciously tantalizing. Given the show's running theme of transition, I think it would also be influential in terms of character development for Star if she lost her childhood friend; not only would it be symbolic of her transition to adulthood, but it would provide Pony Head a means of redeeming herself and allow the show to reveal just how dark it can truly be. I can’t wait for November!
I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to complain here (or just send questions). Until next time! Take care of yourselves.
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The Kübler-Ross Model and Hair Colours (Part 2/2)
Yo again folks, this is the second part of the theory, concerning the psychological state of Ken Kaneki, this time with his character development in Tokyo Ghoul:re.
The first part concluded with the end of Stage 2, Anger, and the transition to stage 3, Bargaining.
As I said last time, after Ken Kaneki’s “death” at the hands of Kishou Arima, he appears in :re as Haise Sasaki, a CCG investigator, working under Akira Mado. The fact that he is now a fighter against ghouls, not their protector, is enough to emphasize the shaking amount of pressure that Kaneki had been through, so much that he found it easier to just forget everything.
Our sweet pun-master Haise Sasaki displays some personality traits that Kaneki didn’t in the original manga, like not indulging in self-destructive activities and actually becoming some sort of a surrogate father to the 4 Quinx children. In this light, he strongly resembles the original Kaneki, the black-haired all-denying person. Because, even though he is no longer connected to the eye-patch motifs, he is still unable to face the truth and instead tries to immerse himself completely in his new life.
However, Haise is destined to not live long, as he is just a temporary persona of Kaneki, one that will eventually lead him towards Stage 4 and his renewed search for truth. Haise Sasaki displays some of the most apparent signs that the person is in Stage 3 of the 5-stage process: he avoids the facts (that he has been another person before), but still deals with them in his own manner; acts joyfully and accepts most of the offered opportunities in a hope that they will make him happy again (accepting to become the mentor of the Qs); trying to come to terms with himself, with his past and his present selves (resulting in the mental projection, known as Chibineki).
He knows that his attempts to keep the balance between his past and his present are hopeless and a grave feeling starts to haunt him all the way to the Tsukiyama extermination arc. But before heading off to the Black Reaper Kaneki persona, we should comment on Haise’s hair colour.
Haise doesn’t live in a lie, contrary to Kaneki. Everyone knows that he is a one-eyed ghoul, and it doesn’t get in his way (a lot). It’s a big relief for our tortured character, so big actually that the melanin starts working in his body once again, his hair becomes half-black. We can also relate this to all the checkerboard symbolism in the manga. Black and white, black and white. It is all just a game in his mind. A game with a time limit though. Chibineki, all the other echoes from the past, everything screams at him that he won’t last long. Haise even views it as a battle between him and Kaneki, a decisive moment which will decide which one will live and which will die, as apparently the two of them can’t live together (Because his desires to stop time and live with Arima, Akira, the Qs and everyone else that makes him happy aren’t compatible with the fact that he can’t accept to forget completely his blood-drenched past). Many people try to drag him into his past life, or if they don’t want to, their sole existence reminds him of the Eye-patch ghoul, Ken Kaneki. Touka becomes the first flash in his dark memories; Tsukiyama, who once again tries to take him only for himself, in an attempt to solve his own emotional issues; Takizawa, who taunts him with his past name, while torturing him (further connecting the name “Ken Kaneki” to the words “pain” and “agony”); Hinami, who shows him that he is needed even by the people he has forgotten; later Eto, who manipulates Kanae into becoming the tool for finally restoring Ken Kaneki’s memories.
And here comes the true transition from the Stage of Bargaining to the Stage of Depression. This is the moment when one loses all hope to maintain a balance and make peace with their past. All of Kaneki’s deeds and misdeeds are still not accepted, but they are finally acknowledged, his eyes open wide enough for him to even see that he was physically abused by his mother, which later resulted in his introverted nature and timid behaviour, and also a habit of masking the truth even in front of himself.
Having finally realised that his past cannot be escaped, he jumps into an absolutely opposite direction of thought once again (also denoted by his hair colour change to black). If you remember, in his transition from Stage 1 to Stage 2 he decided that he was gonna be the force behind the evens surrounding him. This time the opposite happens, he lets the events lead him and calmly works according to Eto’s plan even now. This again resonates with his black hair, he no longer acts against the flow of events which results in his hair being able to restore its original colour again.
So, with Kaneki having given up on any hope, having left behind the sweet memories of his once happy life as Haise, accepting Shirzu’s death as just another inevitable turn of events, we enter Stage 4, Depression.
His psychological and physical state align perfectly during this step. Haise, with his now restored memories, accepts his ghoul side more and relies on kagune during battle, which also is implied by the fact that his hands remain snake-like, with kagune origin. Meanwhile, he remains passive as never before. He even doesn’t appear as the leading character during this arc. Haise lets Eto lead him on with her tales about V and Furuta, and despite the fact that he arrested her, she continues to be the one to chain him down.
But his quietness ends when he decides to rescue Hinami, this is his suicide mission. It can even be said that as much as he did it for Hinami, he also did it to bring delight to his inner voice that tells him: “I want to die in a stylish way!”. He doesn’t even put that much effort into making the mission a success - when he frees Hinami he remains behind and fights Arima (thus choosing death instead of life). Haise seems to have adopted Enji and Irimi’s ideology - he seeks redemption with one last act of boldness in a battle with Nihil himself.
Here he strongly resembles a man in severe depression. Lacking the needed positivism, one tends to overly-accent on the prominent events in his life, turning them into pretexts for suicidal thoughts and detachment from society. The death of Hide, the fact that he faces Arima for the second time, these events have never been a happy occasion, but Haise is actually glad of their existence. Because if he believes that he is doing all this for Hide or to help his friends, he can escape the thoughts about the true nature of his current emotional state - having been unable to protect so many people in his life like Hide or Shirazu, he cannot accept the opportunity to return to the ghoul world as Ken Kaneki. He will always be followed by the memories of his fallen comrades and the fear that this may happen again leads him once more against Arima Kishou’s blade.
In this last stand of Haise’s he still doesn’t take off his mask (and even forms a literal one with his kakuja). He doesn’t want to just die, he want the adrenaline to fill his veins and when he has dropped his last shed of blood, to fall tragically on the ground, leaving behind sad memories and becoming a legend for his close ones. Which is strange, but also relatable for a depressed person. One resorts to his seemingly final chance to feel good after whatever shattered his/her life. And this is the completely indulging into one’s own journey to prove a given ideal or achieve a goal of any kind. When a person doesn’t have much mental energy left, like when he is depressed, this person (in our case Haise) puts all his power and effort into a single task, with the fading away hope that this will either make him ascend over the sadness or forever lose the ability to feel any more pain.
The stage of depression in real life tends to be the longest one, but in Tokyo Ghoul:re this stage is the shortest one. We mainly perceive Kaneki as a person drowned in self-doubt and who has a generally weak mind. But this character has endured almost 5 years of the constant psychological strain of being unable to live in neither the ghoul nor the human world (even though Yoshimura’s words that he can actually connect both reassure him a bit). His mind has grown stronger and from a really passive person he has turned into a powerful man. Both physically and mentally. This is why this arc was relatively shorter and why he entered Stage 5 without any unnecessary delay - as our protagonist he doesn’t feel like staying away from the whirlpool of events and during his decisive fight with Arima, his parental figure, he acknowledges his inner desire to actually live on.
And this happens simultaneously with 3 other events: his hair whitening once again, the mental projection of Hide knocking some sense into him and Kaneki’s eventual release of the final form of his kakuja. Even though he admits to being extremely lonely without his best friend, Hide, he manages to draw strength from his absolutely normal and natural desire to actually continue living. His suicidal tendencies come to an end when he decides to defeat Arima and later become a leader of ghoul, instead of the one being led.
The chapter in which all this happens is named “K’s Egg”. This throws us back all the way to one of the first chapters of the original manga where this quote is put to use: “The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world.”. And this is exactly what happens. Kaneki has always used the methods of introspection to try and understand the world in which he lives. The force that breaks the egg comes from the inside, and again, this is why his hair becomes white. He finally put in the effort into actually regenerating his limbs and releasing his kakuja in an actual attempt to defeat Arima, which led to the whitening. And this effort is rewarded later on, despite it being in a very cruel way - Arima Kishou has to die so he can help Kaneki in his newly-appointed task (becoming the One-Eyed King).
However, Kaneki is now the hope of ghoul-kind and many lives depend on his existence solely. He is now further obliged to live on, he now has a reason to do so. Kaneki Ken, the once completely normal human, has now completely accepted his fate and has reached the end stage of the model, Stage 5, Acceptance.
He accepts his fate, he accepts his past, present and future and accepts himself as who he is. Later on he finds another reason to live in Touka, his wife and the person beside him, the mother of his future child. Kaneki has the desire to connect humans and ghouls and slowly does so from the underground in the 24th ward. His journey continues to be as psychological and epic as always, but now his search for a reason to live has ended. And not with the grim ending that we imagined the numerous times Kaneki almost died, but with a hope for a better future for both species and mainly for out protagonist.
I really hope you guys liked this essay/interpretation/theory/ramblind :P Leave us your feedback and comments and I’d be very happy if you suggest new topics for future theories!
From Sunhumbird (https://sunhumbird.tumblr.com/)
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i watched love, actually for the first time the other day to draw to, my brother like loves it its weird i havent seen it before it was fun enough but i'm not big on the True Destined Consuming Love theme as embodied by the liam neeson and that kid plotline. like, that kid is actually a young version of tom from 500 days of summer. the whole movie for the most part is tom-fodder but some parts more than other and that plotline was the worst of it. smh. also the "a child is just a tiny adult" approach gets old fast. but whatever. i forget what happened with some of the plotlines because i wasnt paying complete attention. oh yeah ive always loathed the cue cards poster man bothering kiera knightley most of all even before seeing this and context just makes it worse. what the everliving hell dude colin firth is always fun but? his storyline was so unnecessary, his paid assistant was nice to him and pretty and then he's like bro lets get married.........like ok. i liked the bit with alan rickman and the actress who's name i dont know, she's always good. who likes martin freeman but their storyline was also reasonable enough to be engaging if not patronizing. i mean the whole thing was entertaining but i like not having to feel like i'm watching a godawful approach/lead-in to a relationship being framed as romantic or inspired or w/e. but luckily i only truly disliked every moment of the airport kids thing. like, for gods sake tf the thing is i like romcoms in theory but they can be way too.....the way that they are. terrible about relationships but pretending thats romantic. and i hate the destiny thing and the one random encounter meaning true love thing. and true love being an extremely scripted, contrived maneuver. i'm the everyone-but-tom in 500 days of summer, aka all his friends telling him he's an idiot, and that champ who listens to him complain about what a bitch summer is and then tells him he's a fucking ass and its his own shit fault, etc. the thing is we need more gay romcoms, no more cishet romcoms, no more swf-athons. if they were non str8 they would be so much better. the ending of l,a is good but i'd seen lots of it before, not that that ruined it or anything. my favorite part going in and coming out was the very very end bringing the airport thing full circle. which, of course, is the part which isn't necessarily about romance which is part of why i like it. i also hate the "your romantic relationship is the only thing giving value to your life" concept, not just for me but for literally anyone. its not even healthy to isolate yourself to that and wheres that post about how that idea and the nuclear family are tools of capitalism. so i like when romcoms are about other relationships besides just the *One*. i kind of feel like l,a is like the song "god only knows", actually. which is to say they are both good, and enjoyable, and cute-to-sweet, but then suddenly theres that line about how the singer might as well be dead/die if he wasnt in whatever relationship and its like whoa whoa whoa rewind, um, what about, how about, No i'd watch it again but in the meantime my ideal romcom marathon is just my big fat greek wedding five times in a row. was just saying how i'm like the bit in the lego batman where you want to watch romcoms but you want to watch them with people and laugh at the godawful dumbassed parts. really though i need the genre to be redefined by no straights allowed plots because its exhausting trying to pick out scraps of what i like from a genre i Could enjoy but am too afraid of what i hate
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i got tagged by @bgee93 and let’s just grosly ignore the fact that the previous tag is in a half-written document which i keep forgetting to finish 8D
Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 followers!
Age: I’m 27 forever like Fran Dresher but i guess i can be honest and say 28 (FOR NOW DX)
Birthplace: Antep, Turkey
Current Time: 14:26 (time of writing. Dunno when this will be uploaded)(oh look im uploading)
Last drink you had: Water with lemon juice (I drink this all day, 2-3 liters w)
Easiest person to talk to: Brenda, Ina and Hannah.
Grossest Memory: dunno… I don’t think my drunk stuff counts but once I got drunk on vodka by myself (talking to a friend via line call) and I drank too much/too fast. Ended up in the toilet ofc but my drunk ass tried to clean with like, half a roll of toiletpaper.
So yeah my toilet got kinda stuck and I uh, had to clean it out (had all the tools and winged it somehow).
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw
In Love: don’t remind me of my crush :x
Jealous of People: Rarely. I do get it with people idk really well. Like I tended to be jealous of other students in my japanesestudies course at uni; when they get to do things I cant or wouldn’t be able too >>
Killed Someone: nah I only break hearts.
# of Siblings: N O N E
One Wish: Stability of any kind would be nice.
Love at First Sight: happens? Im more a ‘love at first laugh’ or ‘love at first scent’ kinda gal
Middle Name: Mitschiko. DO NOT ADD ME OK OMG. My mom heard this japanese singer/actress on the tv and didn’t know how to spell japanese. So yeah its written wrong (its michiko and I can write the kanji) and no im not a fucking weeb.
Person you called last: my mom always. I leave Brenda voice messages on line but. Actually I called our ex-cleaning lady from work bc she’s quitting her job here and I wanted to stay in contact ;v;
Question you’re most asked: where I’m from and why I am not the person people assume I should be based on my name/looks 8D~
Song you last sung: I’m always singing Indestructible by Robyn
Time you woke: 4:30am
Underwear color: my taple panties are light grey so the one im wearing rn are probably grey www I only wear the rest of my underwear for special days or if I wanna feel more feminine.
Vacation Destination: I have a thing for islands so either Britain, Ireland or Japan.
Worst Habit: Living in a dream world and not pursuing anything irl :/
X-Rays: Don’t have one? Never did one? Not that im conscious off.
Fave food: Country specific tbh~ today I had one of my fave Turkish foods in the canteen, firik pilav with chicken. I would die for eel made japanese style in any form, i love spare ribs and any potato recipe is my friend. Oh and stone fruits and berries.
10 6 people: I randomized and no one has to do this or feel obligated~ I’d be interested tho to see :3 @forcekenobi @thetrojeans @ivebeenavengered @tmntransformer @lindelore @pinkteabagarhut
and if you see this, want to do this, JUST. DO IT.
YESTERDAY--
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ok here are my ososan mario kart headcanons, based on this post (read that one first)
osomatsu “never stops complaining” matsuno
acts like everything that goes wrong for him is a personal attack launched by one or possibly multiple brothers (& half the time it is)
literally nothing is his fault according to him; if he drives off the edge someone pushed him, even if he’s way in the back miles away from everyone else, etc.
favorite phrase to yell is “THIS IS MUTINY” and other betrayal-related accusations
the one time karamatsu is actually gonna win for real he fucks it up by psyching himself out waiting for the blue shell that never comes, he just fucking careens off the edge screaming
his favorite character is either rosalina or funky kong (in the later games at least) but he always has to fight choro for rosalina
whenever he’s playing rosalina & something goes wrong he dramatically screams her name like she betrayed him
i feel like totty as peach is Good but also the baby characters?? like baby peach in the later games is his #1 pick (also toadette maybe?? she’s cute & pink idk)
ichi is shy guy i can feel it in my bones (either that or bowser but im rly feelin shy guy; maybe he’s bowser in the games w/o shy guy)
oso is.... the kind of piece of shit who chooses female characters to stare at them (they all are tbh) but choro & kara never let him have rosalina
every time they hit the character selection screen it’s a 3-way mad dash for rosalina and theres always a lot of yelling involved
(oso Never gets her which has escalated to attempted controller theft in the past)
his second choice is peach and depending on the game (like if totty’s being baby peach) he’ll go with her but if not then he picks the red koopa bc he doesn’t like daisy rip
when choro doesn’t get rosalina his second pick is either toadette or yoshi
with all the rosalina confusion ichi will sometimes accidentally decimate choro thinking it was kara
(kara prays for these times when he’s doing well)
none of them ever pick waluigi bc they’re convinced he’s cursed (Bad things happen whenever someone plays waluigi)
jyushi doesn’t even mess anyone up on purpose he’s just an unstoppable force of pure chaos and anyone getting fucked over by him or something he’s done is just collateral damage (tho he somehow manages to avoid ichi most of the time and in return ichi only very occasionally antagonizes jyushi)
however when the two of them do get into it with each other they both get so focused on taking each other out that they forget the rest of the game entirely in favor of destroying each other
(kara also prays for these times bc ichi & jyushi are the two main forces that fuck him over on the reg and if they can keep each other occupied then maybe he finally has a chance to win)
and like when ichi & jyushi get into it it’s rarely over legitimate anger or malice theyre just genuinely having fun together
it turns into an all-out war though and by a certain point the game for everyone else turns into not only a race against each other but a race against time because the ichi vs jyushi war always inevitably breaks the game so the rest of them are desperately trying to finish the race & come out on top before that happens
tragically this is yet another item on the long list of circumstances that have snatched victory from kara’s fingers right as he was on the brink of winning (game freezing / blacking out right before he crosses the finish line, being the only one to be inexplicably glitched back halfway across the course, etc.)
sometimes ichi n jyushi work together to fuck over other people and these are the times kara prays for his life
when they can get ahead of the shit show that is the rest of their brothers, kara and totty have a fierce and intense rivalry with each other as the two best players in the game
this usually involves a side game of psychological warfare in which kara is doing his best to avoid totty bc he never knows what to expect from him & it makes him nervous tbh
and totty takes advantage of this in a long game play which involves placing bananas & fake item boxes on less-frequented areas of the track and then using kara’s wariness of him to steer him into them on the next lap
it gets kara every time
oso would try to bother everyone equally but since he’s so bad at the game the only person he can really catch up to is choro
he’s not even good at messing w/ him bc half the time he just drives himself into the obstacles he was trying to push choro into, but it gets choro riled up all the same
oso really only resorts to this when hes doing so badly that the race is unsalvageable and he needs to find some other way to make it enjoyable again
(the other option is to throw a tantrum & shut the game off entirely, which, depending on the circumstances of the race in question, may or may not get him actually eviscerated irl)
oso & choro are generally team “in the back of the race” but not in dead last because that place usually goes to ichi, who is sitting hidden somewhere on the track waiting to ambush kara
they once did a race where they all picked different colored yoshis, and then another where they picked each other’s colors instead of their own
that race was chaos
it led to the unofficial banning of ever picking yoshi again, much to choro’s indignation
since it’s an unofficial ban there’s nothing stopping choro from picking yoshi anyway, but whenever he does everyone else has this unspoken agreement to ruthlessly target him in the races until he’s forced to change character
this has led to even more desperation on his part for the rosalina dash
he’s memorized where each player’s selection tool starts out on the character selection screen so he can plan the best route to rosalina based on where he, kara, and oso are going to be starting on the screen
this works about 45% of the time bc his brothers are unpredictable idiots and never go in the direction he planned
one of the tracks is now entirely unplayable bc it got broken forever as a result of one of ichi & jyushi’s wars that got even more out of control than usual
no one was actually paying attention to what they were doing before it happened and whenever anyone asks they avoid the question (ichi kind of smirks and doesn’t answer & jyushi just laughs like “haha whoops sorry about that!!” without going into any detail)
it infuriates choro
picking baby park in double dash or mk8 is basically a declaration of war it’s like the equivalent of final destination in smash bros nothing is off-limits & everything is chaos, they only pick that one when shit is real & they truly need to annihilate someone
the battle stages work for this too but nothing is quite as viscerally evocative of the panic and disorder that is baby park
ok FUCK i need to stop this here i got way too carried away w/ this kgjdgksdg but yeah uh in conclusion matsu mario kart is madness & they would all die for real probably, the end
#i had no idea how to end this post kjdgkdjgksdg#sorry it's so long oh my godddgdg i put way too much time into this i have shit to do????#retag later#osomatsu san#os headcanons n shit#talkin bout ososan
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The Aftermath
What good will there be of peace when there is no one left to care,
Why dream of love and happiness when there is nothing left to share.
It is the end. The final chapter of a life no longer able to live,
Everything is gone, destroyed. Nothing left to ask for, nothing left to give.
A massive quake, the earth shook with a maximum force.
Stretching across the city like dominoes running a course.
Thunder roared, its echo shattering the morning sun.
And as panic ensued, pushing, shoving, on the run.
No escape. Mournful shouts, crumbling buildings held captive souls,
They can not move, screams becoming whispers as they can not reach their goal.
Ashes to ashes, hazy dust clinging in the air. Can not breath, can not scream.
And the power poles surge forward, threatening to loose their hold their lines flying free
It is not over yet, my fear that it has just begun. I cry. Earth shattering cries,
Oh I can not bear the agony, the pain. They suffer so, A heart stops, it dies.
And still they run knocking each other trying to be the one to escape, but there is none,
A blazing fire ignites, a fierce wind captures the flames, and natures forces won.
© Cynthia Clark
6/10/2014
The Cleansing
‘ I survived. There were survivors other than myself, some praised God for their survival, some were looters, some were just pure evil, but most of the population had been annihilated. Why did we live? I am really not sure how to answer that, other than the fact God had a purpose for us.
Yes. I was one of the folks that believed in God and thanked Him. I still lived and though there was nothing, that I could see, there was something somewhere. It was my intention to find what I searched for.
A heart-wrenching scream came from a sinkhole. I tried to ignore it. Those people could not be helped. I could hear so much pain in those sobs, it brought tears to my eyes. I tried not to listen, I really did, but I had no choice. The voice inside me said you must help, do not let them die alone in the darkness.
I stumbled to the sinkhole and realized it was a lot deeper than I first thought. It was so dark down there, and I could hear not just one, but many voices blending as one, begging for help, begging for life, and begging for death.
It was like climbing down a mountain with no trail, my journey into the sinkhole. I was scared, probably more scared than I have ever been my entire life, yet I continued on. No I must go back. I have to go back, I did not think this through.
To travel into the darkness unknown, I must have light. Going down was a lot easier than climbing back up. I had a lot of trouble getting a grip in the dirt and maintaining my hold. God had my hand, though. I could feel His push, I could feel His strength, and though I had survived much and felt I had no sleep in a long, long time, I felt alive.
I made it to the top without incident and now my problem was to find light while dodging the blazing fire that still raged, and avoiding the live power lines that were swinging in the smothering breeze. My breath was coming in gasps for dust and ash were swirling strong.
Clothes, purses, money, many objects littered the ground. I ripped a piece of cloth from a shirt and covered my nose and mouth. It seemed to help somewhat.
Another mighty rumble and the moans and screams were silenced. I could have been in there, I could have been swallowed up in that sinkhole , as the others that I had thought to help. I cried as I thought of the people that were buried alive and though I prayed for them I was really glad that I was not one of them.
Once again God had seen fit to rescue me.
Chapter 2
I wandered away. I had no destination in mind. I had no money, no car, and mad laughter burst forth. Why would I need money? What good would a car do? Gas was fueling the flames of cities, and the cars were in sinkholes, burned, totaled out, and only God knew what else.
Yep, looks like it is back to the stone ages. My laughter turned to tears. The farther I walked the more bleak things looked. I had a deep thirst, but nothing for miles around.
Once this area had thriving farmland with a huge pond full of catfish. Mr. Baker had a bunch of goats running loose near the west side fence. They had kept the grass cut close and gave enough milk to cook with. There were times he would even sell some of it.
The east side held a herd of cows, must of been two hundred in all, and off a corner to the right was a big old red bull named Bully. Yea we all thought it was a funny name for a tough old bull, but it sorta grew on ya.
A big two story white frame house sat back towards the edge of the woods. Used to be some good smells coming from the kitchen. I could taste it now, fresh apple pie....well maybe I can not taste it now, but you could at one time.
My throat was closing for lack of moisture. My breath was shallow and tears that I had tried to hold back ran full force down my cheeks, the pond was full of dead cows, debris, and some kind of fuel. Looked like Bully had fought to the end. His dead carcass was half in, half out of the nasty water. Well I guess there was no drinking out of that pond now.
My steps were staggery now. Several times I fell, several times I forced myself to get up. I saw the house in the distance, or what was left of it. Maybe, just maybe. One foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, so on and so forth.
And then I heard a familiar sound that turned my self-pitying tears to happy tears. I looked and sure enough, one of the milk goats was alive, and it looked to be full of milk. She began to follow in my steps.
Chapter 3
I was closing the distance to the house, and by the look of things it was not doing to well. The back corner was tilted, leaning against the trees in the forests, shards of glass were scattered about falling from the broken windows.I took a deep breath. So what was my plan? If I could make it inside before it leaned to far, grabbed a few things, I might be able to get back out before another incident. I needed something to put the goats milk in anyway. After I milked the goat I could drink and rest, but for now I needed to get inside that house.
Each step I took the goat followed. I was staggering now, having a lot of trouble walking straight. I was tired, hot, and thirsty, but I knew I had to move forward. So I pushed on. Finally I reached the house and cautiously stepped upon the porch and took a slow light step. Okay so it held. Another slow step, and another, till I reached the door. It hung on one hinge but as I grasped the handle the whole door fell off landing with a loud thud. I jumped and my heart jumped with me.
There was safe passage to the kitchen, but not beyond. This is where the goat stopped, waiting, watching. I almost took a step, before I looked. There was a huge hole in the middle of the kitchen floor. Floorboards scattered about, nails sticking up, and a damp musty smell, but across the room I saw a most beautiful sight. It was an unopened 2 liter Pepsi. I knew it was hot, but right now it did not matter.
If I could ease my way around the edge of the hole and hold tightly to the counter, I could possibly reach it. I kept telling myself as I eased myself around I would not look down in the hole, but I did. I shivered. It was a massive hole, very deep, and dark.
I made it to the Pepsi and reached for it, at the same time I felt the floor shift. I held tightly to the counter and felt it sinking in the hole. I only had one possible choice, I jumped, and prayed that God would see me safely to the other side, and He did. I ran, the goat following and made it out just as the whole house caved into the massive hole.
Well, I did not find anything to put goats milk in, but I did have a hot 2 liter Pepsi. The goat looked up at me and I patted it on top of the head. I opened up the Pepsi and I drank, and drank, and even shared it with the goat.
“Hey goat, you need a name.” At that moment flames shot up from the hole and I ran, good thing too because an explosion threw debris everywhere. I figured I was at a safe distance so I stopped to catch my breath. “Now what?”I asked no one in particular seeing as how there was no one there anyway. Evidently the goat thought I was talking to her because she took off running like something had spooked her. “Hey goat, goat come back, I need you. I will give you a name, I promise.” But still the goat ran so I had no choice but to catch her. With the last possible strength I had, I chased that darn goat. She was teasing me too. I would almost catch her, she would watch and then take off running. Finally I knew where she was going. I could not believe my eyes.
In the midst of all the chaos, smoke, fire, dust, green, poisonous water, sat a big red barn. It was in perfect shape. The door was open and I could see hay baled, and from where I stood no damage inside or out.
Thank you Lord for giving me a place to rest. I followed the goat inside. I do not know why but at that moment she became Nessie.
Chapter 4
It was like another time, another place. Was I perhaps transported to another world? I eased one foot inside the barn for fear it was a dream. Was I so tired that I imagined the possibility of perfection? I eased the other foot in and breathed deeply.
Hay bales lined the walls, pitchforks, rakes, hoes, and various other tools, hung along the east wall. A bench sat against the other wall. I shook my head, closed my eyes, then opened them again. I walked slowly towards the bench for fear everything would disappear.
A can of tuna, with a pop top, a box of crackers, and a jar of peaches were laid out neatly, as if I was expected. I was hungry, and so tired, and suffering greatly from the after taste of that hot Pepsi.
Nessie nudged me and I patted her head. “You are right Nessie. You are so full of milk I think you might just bust. Let’s find something to put your milk in.” A bucket sat in a corner. I really hated to waste the milk. I know I would drink some of it, but there would be more than I could use, and it would spoil before I got back to the other survivors
Maybe the situation was not funny, but at the time I just had to laugh. Three little kittens came from nowhere, and looked like they were half starved. There was no mama cat so looked like they would take care of some of the extra goats milk.
Now I was full, refreshed, tired, and darkness had descended. With nothing left to keep me going, I would rest a bit, before my journey back to town.
I did not want to go, but I had to help the other survivors, and I was sure there were a few. Now we had a place to hole up for a bit, recover our wounds, and regain our sanity.
I know there is safety in numbers, but I also knew, if I had brought them at the time, they would have slowed me down, and I could not afford that.
I sat down laying my head on a bale of hay. I closed my eyes for a moment, but only a moment . I could hear scratching sounds. I grinned probably the kittens. But it was not. To my amazement there were two laying hens and a rooster, and a billy goat.
This kind of made sense, but maybe not. Were they to re populate the city? And a dire thought struck me, was it just the city and surrounding area, or the whole of earth? Tomorrow would be soon enough to find out.
Nessie snuggled beside me, the kittens, and even Billy lay with me. The hens and rooster were close by watching the door. Well that is what it looked like anyway.
They were protecting me. I smiled and I remember nothing else for a long, long time.
Chapter 5
I was at peace. I felt like I was floating in the air, reaching for the clouds.....and then voices. They did not sound to be pleasant voices either. The looters had found my sanctuary. I needed to hide, yet afraid to move, but if I did not, what would they do to me? I opened my eyes and tried to peer out the door.
Why had the animals not given me any warning? I almost laughed out loud. What animals? Had I dreamed the whole thing. There was not even a Nessie here. I must have been hallucinating. Yes that was it, had to be.
The barn was in a shambles. Boards scattered across the floor, nails here and there. there was even a musty smell from rotting hay. I had even been sleeping on rotted boards. Even the bucket I milked Nessie in was not only on its side empty, but had traces of green dried, I do not know, maybe paint?
“So what we gonna do now Hank? Can’t get near that old barn. Might fall down around our ears.” “The water can’t be too deep Bill, ain’t like we had a flood or anything.” “What about you George, care to try?” “Yea, I’ll give it a try, Gotta be something in that old barn.”
Water? What water? Even if I had been hallucinating at the time I would still be wet. But I was not in the least bit wet. I sure don’t remember any water around the barn, in fact I remember a beautiful field, with lush, green grass.
I heard a plop in water, then loud, terrifying screams, and could still hear them at a distance. What in the world had scared those tough sounding looters? They had to be looters, what else would they be doing out at this time of night.
What the......okay what was going on here? Am I hallucinating again? There was light in the darkness, Nessie and the other animals were back, and I lay back down. Nessie lay on one side Billie on the other, the kittens curled up on top of me, and the rooster and hens guarding once again.
I slept peacefully the rest of the night.
Chapter 6
Beautiful sunshine woke me and I felt so refreshed. I jumped up and was preparing for the day. I was really happy and then, I remembered all that had happened.....yesterday? Was it just yesterday? Seemed like so very long ago.
So in all my time spent in this barn I never thought about what I could use out there. It would be so nice to stay in here surrounded by these animals and forget about the real world , but I could not.
There was some peaches left in the jar, and at the growl of my belly, I finished them off. The tools would be safe here. I would bring the survivors back and we would plan how to make our next move.
There was a cupboard in a corner and I opened the doors. I know a sparkle must have come into my eyes. Fours shelves loaded down with jars and cans of food. Fruits, beans, even ravioli, and at the bottom was two, two liter Pepsi’s.
A shoppers bag was in the bottom right corner and I proceeded to fill it up with food. Mostly cans went in the bag because I was so afraid the jars would bust. The Pepsi’s definitely went in, though I sure would love a cold glass of iced tea.
I fixed the straps to go on my back like a back pack, and started for the door, at the corner, leaned up against the door jamb was a machete. A little voice inside my head said take it, you will need it, so I did.
The animals stayed where they were except for Nessie, she followed, and I let her. A little ways through the field I looked back, I screamed, but only for a minute. The barn was caving in, totally destroyed, and where once had been dry enough for me to walk through, was now almost pond size water. The water looked deep and was like a green ooze. A skeleton popped up, it turned its head and looked straight at me. It moved its mouth to say help me, then disappeared under the depths again.
He had been one of the looters, and that is what scared the other two away. I do not understand the why’s and why not’s of what happened last night. Why the Lord decided to help me I really do not know. But I am thankful. The Lord sure does work in mysterious ways.
{And a man shall be as an hiding place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place, as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land.” Isaiah 32:2}
{Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?}
Chapter 7
No eagles soaring over the mountain tops, no fresh air, only an eerie darkness in a restless morning. Smoke hung everywhere and I had to cover my mouth and nose to keep from inhaling the strong odor. Dust kept blowing in my eyes from the breeze. It was a dry breeze. I felt like I was suffocating, but I had to move on.
I tried to run Nessie back, she was good at finding shelter, but she would not leave my side. There was a rumble beneath the earth. It shook so strong it pulled me off my feet. The ground opened. A massive gap split the area in two parts. How was I to cross now? How were the survivors to get through? There was no way to get to the other side.
As I sat on the ground where I fell I could hear the echo of screams. I could see people in the distance running, towards me, and I could see flames burning higher and higher, blowing smoke and ash. There was no way out for them. I could not help.I hung my head and cried. A few more minutes and I would have been in the middle of all that. Death would have found me just as it would find those that had survived, but no longer. The earth swallowed them and the screams ripped my soul. For several minutes I watched the earth burn.
Nessie lay her head in my lap and nuzzled me. She had become my little ball of comfort, my companion, my friend. I wonder if she had been an angel once upon a time sent to protect me.
I rose from the ground and smiled.It was a half hearted smile, but a smile none the less. My little guardian angel. There was only one thing left to do, go the other way and hope when I reach the next city, this would all be over. Maybe this was a nightmare that would end soon.
Chapter 8
Days? Weeks? Months, I really do not know anymore. Time no longer held any meaning, no purpose. The earth sank into total darkness. Day or night, it all blended together as one. My journey was endless, and lonely. I saw no one for days and days.
I can well imagine what Will Smith felt in the movie I Am Legend. To feel you are the only one left alive, the only one to survive earth’s destruction, was a scary feeling.
The difference being in the movies there are zombie’s, mutants, all kinds of evil beings. Not saying it did not happen, or could not happen, just saying so far I have not seen anything like it yet, and hope I do not.
Before, I had always loved my alone time, but now, I just do not know. Funny is it not?You are always wanting something till you get it, then you decide you do not want it after all. But I think I would rather be alone than deal with flesh eating cannibals, or super strength mutants.
I will say that all the movies I have seen never quite prepared me for the reality of the cities destruction. I hope it is just this city and its outskirts, but what if it is the whole earth? What will happen to me? To Nessie? To any survivors if there are any? Well it is in Gods hands now, and whatever He asks of me I will do my best to accomplish.
I could hear a small rumble in the distance, then it grew once again splitting the earth. Instead of splitting in the middle this time, it split along the roadway. It was chasing me. “Come Nessie,” I yelled as I ran. I did not have to tell her twice.
We ran side by side, trying to out run the cracked earth. My breath was becoming shallow and I was giving out. Gasping for breath, I thought to stop but oh no, I could not. It was almost upon me. My legs were giving away, yet I knew I had to push on.
I should have rested earlier, I should have... well I should have done a lot of things I did not do. No use in worrying over it now when I was so busy running.
Nessie got right behind me and rammed the back of my knees, knocking me sideways on the ground,but I did not stop there. I rolled and rolled down a very steep hill, and at the bottom was a thicket of blackberries, and through the middle was a beautiful stream. The water looked really clear, and cold. I cautiously took a small sip to make sure it was good, oh and it was. And after all the ash, thirst, dirt, and sweat, I decided a quick wash would do me a world of good. Nessie must have agreed because she got in too.
Just for a few minutes, my heart settled and the world went away.
{Psalms Chapter 121}
{1 (A Song of degrees.) I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2 My help [cometh] from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.}
Chapter 9
I looked under rocks, crevices, up and down the creek and found three water bottles. I filled them with the ice cold creek water and stuck them in my backpack. I thought about taking my machete and cutting out some of this blackberry thicket but then thought better of it. This area is the only area unspoiled so far and I would not want looters or any of the undesirable category to ruin it.
This would be a place to bring a few survivors. I needed to find some light, though I was getting used to seeing in the dark. The next city, town, store whatever, I really needed to find supplies.
A loud explosion ripped through the darkness, only after my initial thought it was not an explosion, but thunder, and I could see streaks of lightning hitting the ground in the distance, but moving my way quickly. A few drops of rain fell from the sky and felt like my skin was burning; acid rain.
I had not noticed the other blackberry thicket, till Nessie ran through it. I had to get out of this weather and I am sure Nessie knew of a safe haven. She had never let me down before and this time was no different.
Even though I waded through the creek, getting wet again, and ran through a briar thicket, I ended up on the inside of a cave and though I saw no candles, torches, or even fire, I had enough light to see.
It was not a massive cave, but a decent size. There was three tunnels leading from the main cavern. I looked around in amazement. It was undisturbed. No falling rocks, no trash to litter the area, a good place to hole up through the storm, a good place to bring survivors, a good place to live.
I could hear Nessie moving around in one of the side rooms and slowly I entered. Wow was all I could think of at the time. The creek ran through this part and ended in a small pool off to one side. That in itself was wonderful, but the really amazing part was the fact that Billy, the three kittens, and the two hens and rooster were all sitting quietly by the waters edge.
A bed of moss drew my attention. Down on my knees now, thanking God for once again loving me, protecting me, and saving me. It was not long after that I lay down on the mossy bed. I had no worries, nothing to fear, and I slept.
Rom 8:38
{For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.}
Chapter 10
I am not sure how long I slept considering it was dark when I went to sleep and still dark when I woke. But that had become a way of life for me. Funny thing is there was still light in the cave. It never grew brighter, it never dimmed it was constant.
Poor old Nessie was so full of milk I knew I could no longer avoid milking her. With a sigh (it is really hard to milk a goat) I set about the task of doing just that. The 2 liter Pepsi bottle come in handy for the milk and after it was full, I put the bottle in the creek to keep it cold. It felt really good to have cold milk, Pepsi, and most of all water, though for how long I did not know. That was up to God.
I went back into the main cavern and looked around. I walked farther down, and around a bend, and it ended. So the main cavern was one huge room, same as the room with the creek and shallow pool. I had two rooms left to explore. I went to the cavern on the left hand side. It was more narrow but seemed to be longer. The walls were covered in moss and smooth rock, and a little lighter than the other rooms. Then I saw a much brighter light and the cavern came to an opening in a wildflower field. A rock wall surrounded so there was no escape, which also meant no admittance. No one could sneak in this way, the only way in or out was the front entrance.
Nessie and the other animals must have followed me and there was no doubt in my mind, we were home. Billy and Nessie were munching on wildflowers and tall grass, the hens and rooster were pecking the earth, and the kittens were running and tumbling in the grass.
The last room to explore was mostly covered in moss, and the light slightly dimmer. My first thought was a sleeping room. Several people could stay in here. There would not be any privacy, but neither would they be crowded.
Our safe haven, our place of peace, the place I would always return too after my long journeys. I could not stop the long sigh that retreated from my lips.
Tomorrow a new journey, a new page in my life. It may already be tomorrow, like I said I am not really sure of time. Not really sure of anything really, well except for the fact that I was on a mission.
The hens eggs had been piling up, and I got a very bright idea, if it would work, that is. I went out the front entrance, found some dry pieces of wood, and tried starting a fire by rubbing two sticks together.
It was kind of funny if you thought about it. A few miles away was a blazing inferno, yet I could not start a small camp fire. Well at least the wood would be dry. I am sure I would find some matches, or a lighter or something to bring back.
I shrugged my shoulders. There was a jar of peaches left. Mighty tasty too.
Chapter 11
All this alone time has put my mind in overdrive. I have so much free time to think. Walk and think, walk and think, that seems to be my life’s story now.
How far have I walked today? How much have I thought today? I do notice that the sky is getting a little lighter, and in this area, there have been no tremors for awhile
“Ah, ah, Living on a prayer, take my hand we will make it I swear,” I remember that. Bon Jovi’s, ' Living on a prayer.’ And there is my quandary. I can remember songs, movies, cities, colors, but I can not remember anything personal.
Was it Gods way of keeping me from mourning the loss of a family,or did I ever have one? I know I had to have a mother and father at one time or another, or I would not be here.
Was I married? Did I have children? No matter how hard I tried I had no memory or even a feeling of such a thing. Maybe it was best I do not remember. At least, I do not feel hurt, or pain, over a loss that I know nothing about.
I had walked many miles today and my legs ached something fierce. Before I left the cave I had put several bottles of cold water in my backpack, but I am sure they are no longer cold. I plopped down in the dirt to rest for a minute, but got up a lot quicker. The sand was scorching hot. and I felt tiny vibrations underneath the earth.
I now knew my mission. I was to save as many people as I could find, as quick as I could find them, and take them to the cave.
It was not over yet, there was more to come. We must be ready for the cleansing.
What was that? I could hear a scream. A child? Yes, there it was again. Tired legs or not I had to reach that child. I ran, and ran, my sides aching, heat pounding into my skull, sweat running down my face, but I could not stop until I reached my goal.
A survivor, a child standing over a man. I grabbed the child and turned him to face me. No one should see the vision that child had seen. The man was to far gone to save. One side of his face was gone, big soldier ants taking him piece by piece.
I held the child tightly shielding him from the nightmare that once was a man. I found out later that man had saved the child’s life, and by the looks of his leg, just in time.
A small chunk of meat had been cut off. Up ahead there used to be a city, but now a mix of cities in one. There are several men, women, and children held captive. Their purpose; feed the creatures. As in they are the food.
Somehow it fell upon me to rescue these survivors and get them to safety. I fell to my knees to ask God for His guidance and help, and though the sand was still scorching this time I did not feel it.
Psalm 144:2
{He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.}
Psalm 18:32-33
{It is God who arms me with strength,
And makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of deer,
And sets me on my high places.}
Chapter 12
I was faced with a dilemma, and really not sure how to handle it. I gave the boy (His name was Johnny) a bottle of water and cautioned him to only take small sips. I am sure he would love some eggs and fresh cold milk, but I also needed to try and rescue the others.
I was walking through a wasteland. Desert sands with no trees or weeds for cover, just an occasional rut. I could not leave him here hidden, because there was nowhere to hide. If I took him with me he would slow me and be in danger of capture again. He really needed to have that leg on the mend. It needed medicine and bandaged but that would have to wait. I prayed that there would be no infection.
I could always take him back to the cave. He would be safe there, but how many lives would be lost by going back the way I had come. Well I guess he must come with me. I would just have to watch over him as well as myself.
He limped rather painfully and held a grimace upon his lips. “Come. Hop on my back. I know your leg will hurt, but it will not be as bad as walking.” “I.....I can not go back there, please, please, do not take me back to them. They will eat me.”“Shhh. It is okay little one. You will be safe. Between me and the good Lord you will be protected.”
To be so little he was rather heavy. He looked to be about five, maybe six, and skinny as a rail. I could feel the ooze from his leg seeping onto my shirt, but I had no other choice. Either way he was a danger to himself as well as me, though I knew it was not his fault.
I had not journeyed far when I hear someone yelling, “Wait, hold up, please wait.” I froze.
Friend or foe? Johnny started crying and fought against me for release. He was coming from behind, coming from where we had already been.
“Stop, please.” I could hear the desperation in his voice. I lowered Johnny to the ground but held his shirt tightly so he would not run. Such was his fear, to create a danger to himself. So here I stood waiting on a stranger, with one hand on Johnny and in the other I had gained my machete.
I did not think he was evil at the time, and perhaps the answer to my dilemma. He was closer now. I could see he was very hot and tired, but I made no move towards him. “Do not worry Johnny, I got this. Be very still.” I let go his shirt . I was prepared just in case. Well I was prepared for him, but I was not prepared for what was to happen next, not prepared at all.
Chapter 13
I had been traveling west, when I ran upon Johnny, and trouble come from the south. I heard the man scream, or was it Johnny? I do not know it might have been me. The vibration started small, but became stronger and stronger with each second that passed. Flames shot from the north, but luckily still a distance away.
My heart was thumping furiously. Johnny had fallen and he was crying harder now. I knew he was scared but I did not have time to console him. I grabbed him up of the hot earth and hurt leg or not he had to run.
The man was also on the ground and he looked like he had given up. “Get up,” I shouted, “You have to move now.” I did not wait to see if he complied. I took off running half dragging Johnny.
Another shake of the earth and the man jumped up and was trying his best to catch us.
There was nothing to burn, nothing but sand, but that did not stop flames from rising underneath the earth.
Then it stopped. No more shaking of the earth, no more flames bursting through, just a smothering heat from the aftermath of what went before. Walking on egg shells from day to day, never sure of what lay ahead, where to step, and where to sleep.
The man had finally caught us and I held no fear he would attack. He was too weary as he collapsed at my feet. I dropped too and little Johnny practically fell.
No one said a word for several minutes, we could not. My breath had long since deserted me, and I know the other two felt the same. Finally, the man felt he had to introduce himself, and once again my thoughts were God sure does work in mysterious ways.
Okay so his name was Tom and he was a plastic surgeon, but even so he had an amazing amount of doctoring experience,(At least more than I did) and maybe he could help Johnny. Not only Johnny but other survivors.
I told him of the cave, the animals, even the cool water. I gave him a bottle of water but we ended up sharing. I only had one left, because the one I gave Johnny was laying back down the trail, somewhere in the dirt or fire. He dropped it when we ran and I sure could not fault him for it.
He looked at Johnny’s leg and as I thought it had become infected. There was nothing to be done at the moment.
Now I had two to watch out for. At least, I would have help with Johnny. “We must go.” I stood and had to practically pick Johnny up off the ground. Poor little guy. I knew he was tired, and his leg was really sore, but we had no choice in the matter, it was time to move on.
We only went a short distance when something compelled me to look back, and I did. I could honestly say I was totally shocked and equally surprised . I had not laughed like that in a long time. My little Nessie, my rescuer. So now I knew what God had planned.
She would escort Johnny and Tom back to the cave. He could at least clean the wound and he had a lighter so he could build a fire to sterilize and whatever he needed to do. “Y’all follow Nessie, and be careful. Johnny you let the doctor treat your leg okay. Do not give him a hard time on the road.” Nessie looked at me as if to say, ‘Do you really think I will let him,’ I laughed. No, Nessie had things well under control.
“I will see what supplies I can find, and return as soon as I can.” I turned and started my journey , but stopped as Tom spoke,“We will await your arrival. By the way you never told me your name.” I thought for a moment then shrugged.“I do not know my name, and besides it is unimportant.”
And with that I turned and walked off. I had no time to chatter over a name, and the truth is I never really thought about it. I was so used to being on my own. And once again I am alone and it felt good.
You know when you walk and think you loose track of time, well I had already lost track ages ago. I can not even recall the miles I had walked, but I guess it really did not matter. That was my mission in life, search for survivors.
I was coming upon a city. I was not sure which one because it had many signs from many locations, scattered in the dust. I saw no signs of fires, but it was as if an ocean of desert sand had created a massive wave over the area.
An eeriness created chills upon my spine and a deep fear held my mind captive. This place was death. I had the urge to flee. I wanted to run from this place, but as always God took my hand and walked with me. I no longer felt fear.
Everything was topsy-turvy. Cars were piled on top of others, barely sticking out from under the sand. Dead bodies littered the ground, rotting corpses so long in the heat. I could feel their pain, I could hear their deathly screams. Tears for them, and prayers, but I continued on. There was nothing to be done for them.
There were many articles of clothing scattered about, shoes as if someone had taken them off and left them as they sat, and a lot of debris. I tripped over many things buried in the sand. It slowed me down but did not stop me.
I knew I had finally made it inside the city. Then I stopped, took a deep breath, and looked around what once had been a city. There was a service station to my left, it was mostly buried. You could still see part of the inside, and there was still a lot of merchandise in there. I started towards the station and I knew why it had not been cleaned out.
Walking through the drifts of sand was no option. There were sink holes everywhere and I did not want to drown in sand. I was already to my knees in the sand and I felt, what I thought was a body underneath.
I made it out of the drifts and back on the main road. It was also slow going but better than walking in the drifts. In the distance was , (Here I just had to laugh) a Wal-Mart. It was possible I could make it in there. Here and there it was buried. I would know more when I got closer.
I really did not have a plan, just following God’s lead, but it really made sense to try the store for supplies. Besides, I was really thirsty. I know if there was anything left it would be hot, but right now I really did not care.
I walked the streets cautiously searching for signs of life, any kind of sign to find the people the boy spoke of. Not the cannibals, but the survivors the cannibals kept prisoner.
Buildings were toppled to the ground and shards of glass were scattered in the sand, both on top and underneath.
�� No pavement, no grass, no sidewalks, there was only endless miles of sand. Imagine taking a dull brown crayon and covering a whole canvas with that one color. That was what I was seeing, that was the vision before me.
There were more dead bodies; arms hanging from under bricks, legs half covered by fallen walls, and heads cracked open as an egg.
There was nothing to be done for them, except pray for their souls. there were way to many to bury, and besides the next windstorm would cover them anyway.The destruction was endless. At least they were not burned alive as in other places, but then I guess being buried alive was just as bad.
Chapter 14
I had made it to Wal-Mart. the sand was not that bad. Not as bad as I first thought. I know I could not carry everything I needed so I would only take what I could carry in my backpack and a few weapons.
I could not make up my mind whether I wanted to be around people, or be by myself. I guess it is just the fact that Wal-Mart should be swarming with people, live people.
So quite in here, maddening quite. I stood for a minute thinking of all the children that screamed and fought for a toy, grabbing them from shelves, and the ones that were happy with the toy they got. All the teens that walked the aisles texting friends , doing selfies, and sending pictures of items to other friends. I grinned when I thought of some of the out fits, and all the ones that wore pajamas. Well that sure made my day.
I did not see any immediate danger , and I did need a new outfit. My long skirt had rips and tears, it was really dirty, and smelled horrible. I was flipping through the rack and jumped back drawing my machete.
In between the skirts was a little boy, could not have been more than seven, maybe eight. He was holding his finger to his lips as if telling me to be quiet. He pointed towards the back of the store. I motioned for him to stay where he was and on silent feet, I moved towards the end of the aisle and looked in the direction he pointed.
I almost gave myself away. I know I gagged a dozen times and I pulled myself back. There were three, well not sure what they were, humans? Mutants? I am not sure because I did not see there face, but they were covered in dried blood and fresh blood as well. That was bad, but the worst thing, they were eating the raw, rotted meat from the meat counter.
I eased back to the boy, leaned down and asked, “Are there anymore?” “Not in here,” He whispered, “But out there. They snuck up on us, I hid.” “Shhh it is okay little one. Stay here for now. I will get you out of here.” I slid the skirts back around him. You could not even tell anyone was in there.
So now what was I to do. All though their backs were to me, as soon as one was down the other two would look and I really did not know how fast they were. I had no knowledge of how close the ones outside were or even how many so a gun was out of the question unless....... I eased my way back to the sports/camping section. A BB Gun was one alternative but I must be accurate and quick. I drew in a deep breath, and close. If I could just get at least one at the base of the skull I might be able to use the machete on the other two. I would have to stay out of reach and hope they did not call to the others.
I got a shot off, it hit the base of his skull, but another fell over too. I did not have time to worry over it because the third was in a rage and coming at me fast. He was almost upon me when he also fell over. Man he really was ugly, and his teeth were like shards of glass. All three of them. I approached cautiously as well as my helper.
He was tall, probably about six foot three, long black hair, and a scraggly beard. His weapon of choice... a sawed off shotgun with a silencer And that was how he did it. He had a silencer. “Thanks, for your help,”I really was thankful. He just shook his head and grunted.
There was no doubt those three were dead, so now back to the boy. He was cowering, and I think he was afraid to look for fear it was one of the evil ones. “It is me little one. Do not worry those three are dead.”
He slowly came out from the clothes rack. There was no telling how long he had been there. He had a hard time standing. Dirty blonde hair, looked like it had not been combed in days, but I guess that was a sign of the times. Blue eyes, pretty blue eyes marred with dark circles from lack of sleep. Tall and very skinny. Looked like he was malnourished and I would bet he was. He needed the doctor.
“What is your name?” “Adam, my name is Adam.” “So Adam, do you know where the others are being held? “Yea they are in the meat locker.”
I had forgotten the stranger. I turned to speak and he was gone. Perhaps he was hunting the others. I shrugged my shoulders, oh well I had my own agenda. I grabbed a couple of skirts from the rack and stuffed them in my backpack.
I went to sporting goods again. I had seen a bow and some arrows earlier, should have got them then , but I did not. Well now they were mine. “Okay kid stick close. If you see anything at all you let me know.” I do not think he would have any problem with that, and when I said stick close, he really did.
I slowly opened the meat locker, weapon at the ready. The smell was horrible. Rotted meat, and some of the survivors were not in very good shape, well none of them were. They tried to run, and create a panic.
“Quiet, do you want more to come or do you want out of here?” They settled down and I continued. “We need supplies.” I looked around, there were two women, one man, and six children. “Everyone get a backpack fill it with necessary items. By necessary I mean flashlights, batteries, lighters, matches, water, canned food. As much as you can carry but no overload. We may have to run. “Kids, please no toys, not yet. We will find a mode of transportation soon, and we will come back. Okay let’s move and please watch your back.”
Light was the first thing. I rounded up four flashlights and several packs of batteries, the big packs. I picked up four bottles of water and several knives. Oh yes, I almost forgot. I picked up matches and several packs of bics.
The pharmacy was next. Antibiotics, aspirin, bandages, alcohol, and more basics.I thought of Johnny and Tom and hoped they were well. I thought Tom might Like a blood pressure cuff, so I got one of those too.
I downed a bottle of water and hoping I would not get sick from drinking it so fast. I gave Adam a bottle and he downed it as fast as I did. That is all for the moment. I would return later when I found a way to haul the things I needed.
The darkness had returned. I do not know if had become day and now night, or if darkness just now reached this area and would stay. Truth is I am tired of the darkness, tired of the loneliness, just plain tired of everything, but I knew I had to continue.
After putting batteries in another flashlight, (saving the four I had), I gathered the group and we walked out of Wal-Mart.
I do not know what all they gathered, all I knew was that I needed a place to rest for awhile.
I really do not care what anyone says God does create miracles, and he has created many for me since the cleansing had begun, and now there was another. He will provide, and He did.
Chapter 15
While we were gathering supplies the tall man had disappeared, and now I knew why. Somewhere he found a mule and wagon. It was not a big wagon but we could make do. The captives could ride now, and I would not worry about them holding us back.
He never told me his name, but I never told him mine either. I was still not ready to worry about a name for me, I would take care of that when I mourned for the loss. I have no idea what I lost but I am sure it was someone. None the less I would mourn for the unknown victims. But that would be later.
I was happier than I had been in awhile. God was so amazing for providing food and a way to haul the things we needed. I found out the tall man could not talk. I was not sure if he was born like that, or something in his past, maybe it was the shock of what was happening in the world.
I think I will just call him Hero for now. Hero stood guard while the other male captive and I ran back in. We grabbed a couple cases of water, cans of food, pop tarts, more flashlights and batteries. We did not want to over do in case others came, and we did not want to overload the poor mule.
Now we had everything loaded. I got on my knees and Hero also did. I do not know his prayer, but I suspected it was the same as mine. We prayed for our journey to be a safe one, and asked that each would be blessed by His love.
The mule( I gave her the name Jezzie) had a rough time wading through the sand. Mules are said to be stubborn, but she kept right on. One foot at a time, raising them high, making slow progress, but never giving up.
Noises came from all directions. Our people were crying, and screaming, Jezzie was trying really hard to struggle through, at a higher rate of speed, and Hero and I were bringing up the rear.
Hundreds of those things were chasing us. There was no way we could kill them all. “Stay down,” I told our victims. Not sure what good that would do but they were moving around and shaking so much poor Jezzie was having a rough time.
They were almost upon us. I did not realize the speed they had. They were making weird chomping noises and I felt shivers upon my spine. One reached out, it barely touched my arm and the burn was immense. It was not a scratch, not a gouge, just a slight touch.
We were almost at the service station, and there were more inside there. They had no trouble, going through the sand. It was if they were sand creatures. They were not really running, more or less a jump, and dragging a leg, Their ribs were very visible, long slender finger bones, with claw like nails on their fingers. I do not think they were zombies, because the ones we shot stayed down, but I know they were cannibals and there were way to many to suit me.
I do not know what happened just that I went down and they were almost upon me. Hero picked me up and practically slung me in the cart. He was really strong, and I could not feel a thing. I had went numb.
“Lord give us strength to get away . Hero can not do this on his own.” The darkness became light for a moment then it returned. The cannibals froze in place, the mule began to trot, and after we passed the service station Hero jumped in the cart. No one was guiding the mule but she knew where to go.
We made it to the location where I saw all those signs jumbled up, and the rumbling began. It started out as a small rumble, but as with thunder it grew over the distance. It became so loud everyone covered their ears but me. I still could not move.
I know everyone was shocked when a massive wave of sand swept everything clean. As far as the eye could see, nothing but sand. Carried by the darkness it looked like an oceans wave.
Everything became still, and so quite. Not even our fellow humans made a sound.
It did not seem to bother Jezzie though she continued on the trail. Hero scooted over towards me. “Do not worry Hero. Jezzie is headed in the right direction. He opened his mouth and I knew it was silent laughter. I forgot to tell him I named him Hero. Though my body refused to move my head still worked. I tried to raise it to check my injury, but I could not raise it that far. It had to be from that touch on my arm, that was the only thing it could be.
I looked around at the survivors. they looked at peace. Some were sleeping, and some... well I guess they were just gazing and thinking. I closed my eyes, and though I could not get on my knees to pray, God and I had a nice conversation. I do not know His plans, but I do know He loves me. He cradled me in His loving arms and I slept.
{Acts 18:10: "For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city."}
Chapter 16
I really do not know how long I slept, or how long we had been traveling. I tried looking around but it was hard in the darkness. I could feel Hero’s eyes upon me. What was he thinking? What questions did he have to ask that he could not?
Jezzie had slowed, and the survivors were quiet. I had not realized till I tried turning my head that Adam’s head lay on my shoulder. I could not feel it. I still could not feel anything. The only way I knew we were still moving is the gentle banging of my head against the floorboards of the wagon.
I felt a water bottle against my lips. Even hot it was good. My throat had become dry and my lips began to crack. I felt it run down my chin, but even knowing it kept flowing I could not feel it.
Tears, started easing down my cheek, and I could not reach to wipe them. I was frustrated and did not understand what was happening or why this happened to me. But no, chin up girl. It was not just happening to me. I survived, they survived, and I am sure God has His reasons for my paralysis.
I closed my eyes and listened for God to tell me what to do next. “Rest my child. Just rest.”
I could feel Hero’s hand now, stroking my hair, and I smiled. I am glad Hero was along. He would make a good asset. He was also resourceful. I have no idea where he found Jezzie and the wagon but I was most thankful for it.
Jezzie stopped quickly, and as a stubborn mule would not move another inch. Hero grabbed his flashlight and jumped from the wagon easing his way around front. Adam must have followed him because he came back, leaned in my face and said. “It is a white goat. She looks to be tame.”
“Fresh meat,” Yelled the man we rescued. I never asked his name, “You will not touch one hair of that goat. “Oh come on. It has been weeks, maybe months since I have had meat.”
Hero grabbed the man by the tattered shirt collar. Though Hero could not speak his message was loud and clear. You do not touch the goat.
“Nessie,” I half way yelled. She came around the wagon, and jumped up by my side. She looked me straight in the eyes and I was sure I saw tears.She lay her head on me and nuzzled for a minute then jumped off and went back around front.
“Follow Nessie, Jezzie. She knows where we are going.” And as if Jezzie understood, she took off after Nessie. We were almost there. I thought about Johnny and hoped his leg was healing. How was Tom? I hoped they were able to protect themselves from intruders and elements.
Jezzie started down the hill. I did not think she could make it through the blackberry bushes with the wagon, but somehow she did. The occupants of the wagon were stirring now. A creek? Cold water; a bath, cool down, I could hear all those conversations, or should I say parts of conversations.
Jezzie took us all the way in the cave and Tom was waiting. There was still light in the cave, and he had a small cooking fire.
Hero picked me up and Tom ran over with a look of concern on his face. I could tell he was waiting on Hero to speak, so I filled in the blanks. “Hero can not talk Tom. I have no idea what happened to me. I am going to get Hero to lay me down,(Hero grinned at this point and I sure wished I could pop him on the head.) and after you check all the others out, you can look at me.
Then I became worried. Where was Johnny? “I brought lots of medicine.” “Johnny is okay Lady. He is out back playing. His leg has healed nicely. Tom directed Hero to my mossy bed and he lay me down, then turned and walked away.
Nessie and Billy came in, and a baby goat. Awww Nessie had become a mama. The three kittens came in, and they were no longer kittens. I realized I had never named them. The rooster came in then the two hens, followed by about five little chicks. they were already repopulating the earth.
When Tom came to see me, I told him to keep an eye on that man. Nessie was never to be eaten, or at least not yet. It was not time to eat the animals yet, especially the original ones.
One of the women had baby wipes in her back pack. I wish I had thought of that, but I would still rather have a bath.
Tom left the room and it was less than a minute Hero followed him back in. He picked me up and carried me to the pool. Tom had made or found a chair while I was gone and he had it setting in the pool. Hero put me on the chair and held me while Tom bathed my arm. That touch that thing gave me, was red, swelled and badly infected. In fact my whole arm was infected. That is probably why I could not move.
I turned my head to thank Hero for all his help, for without him none of us might be here. But in the end I stayed silent. He was on his knees praying, and I would not disturb him.
I could hear children’s laughter, people chatting, so excited like children with new toys. Maybe they were. They were exploring, and taken with everything. The pool of water, the animals, and I am sure they found the outside area.
The mossy bed felt good. Yes, I was starting to get my feeling back again. Johnny came in for a visit, and I was blessed with a big hug. One of the women, Theresa I think she said, brought me a pop tart, scrambled eggs, and crackers. Of course Nessie provided cold milk.
Tom would check on Hero, to find out why he could not talk. I felt safe, full, and loved. The Lord had sent so many miracles and blessings my way.
As I shut my eyes to pray Nessie came in laying her head on my chest. I prayed and we slept.
Chapter 17
I was being pulled through a thick fog. My mind was somewhere in between conscious and unconscious. the in between where you do not know if you are still dreaming or in reality. I did not want to wake. For the first time since the cleansing had begun I was sleeping so good. But then I heard Nessie. Something was wrong.
I opened my eyes and there the man stood. Funny I did not find out anything about these people when I brought them in. It had been so rush, rush, then the doctor and bed.
But there he was trying to take Nessie from me. I know he saw my eyes open but he continued. I tried to speak but could not. He had gagged me. “By the time anyone finds out, she will be goat steak, and I am sure all will want a piece.”
He did not know that I had got movement back. It had been slowly coming back and it was all back. I did not bother with the gag. I wanted the element of surprise, besides I was afraid of some of the words that would flow forth.
I did not just stand up, I jumped. Before he even realized what was happening I took my fist and hit him straight in the nose. Nessie took off running, while me and the man continued to scuffle.He had a few choice curse words to say over his bloody nose, and I paid for it when he blacked my eye.
Hero grabbed him behind with a big bear hug and Tom grabbed me separating us. We were both trying to escape their holds but their grip was too tight.
My temper was leaving me and I ceased to struggle. Nessie came to me and rubbed against my leg. I smiled. Tom removed my gag and I smiled. “Thanks.” I think that was all I said at the time.
The man was still cursing and struggling, and Hero tied his hands behind his back. I think they all ready knew what was going on, and they had known earlier I was getting my feeling back. “Take him into the main cavern. Get everyone together. If we are to live together rules need to be established.”
They did not hesitate to do as I asked, but the doctor in Tom just had to see my eye. I kept telling him it was okay, but hey I think he took his job seriously.
We went in to join the others. They all looked so much different than before. They had bathed, had food, and felt safe. I felt safe. Safer than I had even before this started. I could feel Gods presence and I did not want to ever let him down.
The man was still tied up and I guess it was just as well I never found out his name, because of his punishment to come. I had no choice. We could not have anyone in our household that could not obey the rules and took away from others, and that is what he would be doing.
“I gathered y’all her because of an incident that occurred. I had made it plain that Nessie was not to be touched.” I saw their heads shake affirmative so I knew they all understood. “He came in there as I was sleeping, trying to drag Nessie out. Nessie provides our milk, which soon will also provide our cheese and butter. She is also our guard, my companion, and a mother.”
“They will keep reproducing then we will eat, but not yet. It is not time yet.” I paused to let this sink in. This next part was going to be the hardest but it had to be. “Since he had already been warned, he must be punished. He will be banished from our group.” A big gasp filled the room, from the rescued captives, Hero remained silent as did Tom. I really hoped I was doing the right thing. “We will send him on his way with food and water, flashlights and batteries. We will take him a ways and set him out.”
I saw fear in his eyes and I could not look at him anymore. I did not want to do this but I really had no choice in the matter. “But why can’t he stay here?” That came from one of the women brought with him. “Because we have to live by rules, and he broke the rule. That rule not only affects me, but all of us. She is a life source that will last for a long time. her meat could not be eaten in one day, where would it be stored. Would you eat the rotten corpse as those things in Wal-Mart?”
“I will be leaving in a little while, and Hero and Tom will be in charge.” Hero shook his head no, and pointed to me. “No, Hero, you stay here. I do not know where I am headed after I drop him off, or what I will find......”He did not let me finish as he spoke. He spoke, yes he spoke. “I go with you.” And the emphasis he put on it I did not argue anymore. This trip I would not make alone.
So it was decided Tom was the doctor and leader, though when I was here everyone looked to me. I really did not want to be responsible for these people, but it was the hand I had been dealt in this new world.
Hero and I gathered a few supplies for us, and some for the man. He was scared. I almost backed out, almost. I could not take the chance of his thoughts taking control again. What if the next time his urge for meat led him to one of the children.
It would be so good to have a juicy Sonic burger, but I did not want one so bad that I would eat the forbidden.
We bid everyone goodbye and struck out towards the south. That was where I had come from, my starting point. I wanted to know, needed to know, if after all this time if there was anything left. Last time there was no way across, but I was compelled to go. Maybe there was a way around.
This time I was not alone, this time I had Hero with me. Maybe it would not be so bad.
And as I had before each journey I kneeled and prayed for a safe journey, as did Hero.
Chapter18
We took Jezzie and the wagon. Perhaps we would run into more survivors, if not we still needed more supplies. We walked, except for the man. I do not want to know his name, that would make me feel more guilt than I did now. This was not personal, for revenge, or anything like that. It was a matter of survival.
The man grumbled and complained, then he would beg and plead, after awhile I ignored him. There were other things running through my mind. In the southern direction it was not dark, but neither was the sun shining. It was like a cloudy moment before the sunrise. It was extremely hot, and I was not sure if it was because here the earth had burned, or if I was not mistaken it should be summertime.
Time. Time was a funny thing. It meant nothing anymore.No more rushing to work without breakfast for fear of being late. No more rush hour traffic. No more getting the kids to school on time. It was amazing that our lives all depended on time.
Now I know what stop and smell the flowers meant, except there were no flowers. There were no trees, there was no grass. There was nothing but a dull brown earth, with black ashes in some spots, and an intense heat, smothering heat.
We had walked for hours and I was getting tired. Hero looked as if he could use a break too. I had found a milk jug a ways back and cut the top off. I poured a bottle of water for Jezzie. She lapped it up gently, as if she knew it had to last. She finished the water and I picked up the bottom of the milk jug and put it in the back of the wagon for later.
Hero and I sat in the back of the wagon, and instead of resting Jezzie continued. Neither Hero or I was much on conversation, besides it was too hot and dusty. The more we talked the thirstier we got so we remained quite. Funny thing though, it was if we could read each others thoughts.
God had chosen Hero also. We were to work together to reboot the earth. We were to rebuild, re populate, and regrow. This was a new chance, a new life, a new earth. This was a new beginning, not just for me, nor Hero, but life.
Jezzie was turning now. She was headed on the road to old Bakers farm. No, no there was nothing there. “Jezzie,” I jumped off the wagon and went to her. “No, Jezzie there is nothing there. I have already been here. It was all destroyed after I left.” But Jezzie gave new meaning to stubborn mule. She would look at me like she knew something I did not, so I followed her lead.
Hero jumped off the wagon and come up beside me. I told him of my experience on the farm, and where I met Nessie and the other animals.
Before we left I had bathed and put on one of the long skirts, thankful it had pockets. The stench was almost unbearable so I covered my nose and mouth with a bandana ,Hero had picked up from Wal Mart. I had put it, a pocket knife, a pop tart, and several other items in the pocket.
I was beginning to think Hero was pretty smart. He thought of things that I did not. Maybe that is why we were meant to work together. He looked at his surroundings, just as I did, and I think we were both on the same page. Why did Jezzie bring us here?
“Look I have to use the bathroom. Could you please untie me.” I shrugged my shoulders, Hero did the same. Why not? We were far from the camp. If he got away he would find his own danger. It would no longer be on me and Hero. Perhaps this was why Jezzie brought us up here. She stopped without being asked too, so she knew.
Well that must have been his plan. He grabbed one of the back packs and ran, we let him go. Halfway across the field he stopped, turned, and waved. I guess he thought he was teasing us, but I was relieved and I think Hero was as well.
We let him go. Jezzie turned as did we, then we heard his screams. The earth was shaking craters were opening, we jumped on the wagon and Jezzie was moving faster than I have ever seen any mule move. I turned and watched as the swamp water, rotted cow carcasses, the collapsed house, everything was swallowed.
I saw movement trying to avoid the craters. There were lots of them, perhaps hundreds. They looked like those things in Wal Mart except some were on all fours. Some were jumping the craters, some were using others as a springboard, and close to catching us.
As we reached the main road off the farm road. The hills collapsed, rocks tumbled and all access had stopped. Hero and I both fell to our knees and praised God. Once again He had saved us from a horrible death.
As we rose, an amazing thing happened. A little old man, (by the looks of him very old) come riding up on a horse. A big, black stallion. It looked very healthy as did he. He had several packs upon his horse and he offered them to us. Before we could turn them down, or offer to share, he had disappeared leaving the horse and packs. I mean really disappeared. He could not have hid, for there was no place. He could not have ran that fast.
There was only one other possibility. God had sent and angel. In one of the packs was bread. I smiled. Bread from Heaven, and in the other was fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, and maybe it was not Sonic, but it was the best burger I ever tasted.
I took the seeds from the apples and strawberries, and the other fruits and vegetables. They would be planted. My mouth watered just thinking about fresh fruits and vegetables, even though I had just ate some.
I gave Jezzie more water, and it did not run dry. I thanked God for the food and water, Hero unhooked Jezzie and she laid down . Hero and I laid down in the back of the wagon, for some much needed rest.
“Goodnight, or day, or whatever it is Hero.” He still grinned whenever I called him Hero. He had shaved, (probably sometime or another got razors from Wal Mart), and looked so much better, but it would not last long. Too much heat, too little resources but right now looks were unimportant.
We made a great team. Maybe someday he would tell me about himself, but right now it did not matter, in the future it would not matter either. This was a new beginning. We were cleansed, reborn.
He pulled my head over on his shoulder and we slept confident that God would watch us. He was not through with us yet.
Chapter 19
How many miles had we traveled before I awoke? I was riding alone, and well covered. Every inch of my body had some kind of wrapping. Sweat trickled down my body, and I was extremely hot. If I did not know better I would think Hero was burying me alive.
After removing the wrappings I could understand why. Intense heat fueled by a blazing ball of sun. So the farther North we went darkness held, and the farther South it became much lighter and so much hotter.
I sat up, rocking with the wagon, and looked around. Hero was walking with Jezzie and I just had to laugh. He had fashioned Jezzie a hat out of an old shirt. Well maybe not a hat but a covering for her head. Her ears stuck up through the arm holes.
Hero stopped Jezzie and turned towards me, with a grin on his face. He must have heard my laughter, for he came back to me, and in a half hearted twist modeled his new get-out-of the sun clothes. He looked like a hobo, traveling with so many clothes and no way of carrying them.
“Why did you not wake me? I would have walked with you.” He shrugged his shoulders.You needed rest. It has not been long since you could not move at all. He got the water jug and gave Jezzie some more water. We were running low so we only took a few sips from a shared bottle.
We had been traveling for several days, at least I think we had. It was hard to tell because day and night still had not straightened itself out. I missed the moon and the stars, night and day. Instead of cool nights and hot days like before it was hot nights and even hotter days.
I got out of the wagon walked around and stretched my legs a bit. Off to the left a little way was a burned area. It had what had once been a chimney sticking up. I grabbed my bow and quill of arrows. I try to always be prepared for everything.
Almost upon it I tripped over something, I did not fall but came close. I jumped back. It was an arm, or what once was an arm.It was burnt black, charred flesh hanging from bone. I did not want to see the rest. From then on I was careful where I walked.
I arrived at the chimney and there was three bodies lying there. There were huge army ants eating flesh from their bodies and carrying it away. The woman had blisters covering a burnt face. Her legs were only skeletal remains the ashes blending with the sand.
A little child, unknown whether male or female, lay in the fetal position. There was no flesh left, no distinguishing marks, not even toys scattered to give away the sex of the child.
I fell to my knees and could not stop the tears that flowed. Long held pent up emotions, long held tears, loneliness, fear, everything held back for months? Years? It all came forth.
Hero pulled me up and held me in his arms, using soothing words to calm my soul. I do not know how long we stayed like that. My heart ached. I did not know these people, yet they were still people that died a horrible death.
There was nothing of interest here, it was time to move on. I think Jezzie was ready to move too. I put the empty water bowl into the back of the wagon, and walked side by side with Hero. I needed solace, I needed comfort.
Hero grabbed my hand. For miles and miles we walked hand in hand. I tried not to remember the vision I saw. I tried not to remember people died. I tried not to remember this had become a way of life.
The only thing I wish to remember now is one breath at a time.
Chapter 20
We covered our head and faces back up only leaving our eyes. I vowed that as soon as we found another supply store I would find a pair of sun glasses. Walking many miles in the heat tired us quickly, so we climbed back in the wagon.
Now we were coming to the big crack in the earth. The fires were out. There was no one to put the fires out so maybe they just burned themselves out, or maybe they were still smoldering we just could not see them from here.
Our problem was how to get across. The crack was much to wide to jump, besides Jezzie would not be able to make it over. We had two choices. We could walk a ways to the left, see if there was a way around, or we could walk around in the opposite direction.
I had no knowledge of how far we must travel, or whether it would be worth the trip. But a compelling force drove us on. There was something, some place better. A place for supplies, a place to raise families, a place to start over.
Travel weary we stopped for awhile, ate us a bite, and stretched our legs. We finished the last of the water. Worry settled my heart, but then it came to me. Why would I worry? God did not send us this far to cause us anguish. Perhaps we would thirst, but only for awhile. God would provide.
My lips were cracked, my throat was dry, and my eyes were filled with dust, yet I had to laugh. It was not a funny laugh, or insane laugh, but a laugh of pure joy. We had found the end of the cracked earth and a small forest settled in the midst of all the heart ache, pain, death, and destruction.
A rock ledge with water falling over it, nearly took my breath away. I wanted to rush right in, but Hero cautioned me to calm. He was right, it must be checked out before we went full force hog wild.
It was not long till we stripped down, not totally but the grimy garments to keep the sun at bay. I stood under and it felt like a real shower. So amazing it felt. I felt so much like an innocent child, I splashed Hero. Of course he splashed back. It felt so good just to laugh and play, forget the harshness of the world, for awhile anyway.
We washed our grimy garments and put them back on wet. That would cool us for awhile. It would be so nice to stay her for ever, but that was an impossibility. Our mission was to recreate the world, bring civilization back into being.
We filled the water bottles, and Jezzie had drank her fill. She had even gotten in the water. I felt more alive than I had in ages, and by the look in Heros eyes I am sure he did too. All good things must come to an end, and this did as well.
Wrapped back from the blazing sun, I had to shield my eyes. The forest had been cool and dark, but back in the sunshine took quite an adjustment.
We did not have to travel far before we found bodies piled one on top of the other. Many, many flies, landed in wounds, and rotted flesh. Some were burnt so badly the skin had peeled. We walked on scattered ash and I wondered if it was from burnt objects, or cremated people.
The stench was terrible, and the insects were huge. There were more of the army ants carrying flesh. I thought of stomping them but there were way to many. The fly’s were twice as big as normal and extremely irritating.
So far there had been no signs of life, other than the huge insects, and the dead. But at one time this had been a massive city. Who was to say there was no one or nothing hidden in some of the buildings that still stood.
It was surprising after what I had witnessed that any remained. They did not look to be the best of shape, but they were enough to get out of the sun, and possibly have some supplies we could use.
“So what do you think Hero? Should we give it a try.” “Sounds good Lady. Just be careful, we do not know what is in here.” I think Hero was still trying to get used to talking. His voice sounded a little strained, and neither of us had talked much anyway.
I think this place had once been a drugstore, but it did not matter what it was. I found a pair of sunglasses and some sunscreen. Hero got a kick out of me modeling several different pair, but then he did the same.
I grabbed a couple extra bottles of sunscreen. I was not sure if it would help, but it was hard to move with all these wrappings, plus the fact it was extremely hot. But then again I had seen what happened to the people exposed to the sun.
Hero unhooked Jezzie and brought her in out of the sun. She put up quite a ruckus. She had good instinct for trouble, and from the back we heard a loud crash, and something moving. Hero let Jezzie go and she flew out of the building, then she stopped.
I decided I did not want to be in there either, not yet anyway. Hero followed me out, and we saw something, not sure what it was. I think at one time it had been human, but it slid on all fours, and its eyes were glazed over as if blind. It made weird noises as if calling more.
There were at least four, maybe more. I realized we were in no danger of being chased. One of the creatures came out only a little and screamed in pain, the others pulling it back. I could smell its flesh as it burned, and I gagged.
We were safe for now, but later we would have to clean them out. Walking on down, I guess you could call a street, I was not surprised that Jezzie followed us. It did her good to be rid of the cart for awhile.
Well now here was a real shocker. The building was really small, but one that I do not think we would need anything from. I really laughed so hard. You might know that a government building would survive.
The next building was The U. S. Postal Service. Even Hero got a good laugh out of this one until we knew our reason for being there. We had to go in. All laughter stopped.
Chapter 21
All eyes on the inside door. I thought I had seen movement earlier, but it must have just been jitters from our previous building. I pulled off the sunglasses, and looked around. The sun shone brightly through the windows and I was aware of dangers behind counters, in corners, even under the scattered packages.
I felt Hero’s eyes upon me, and my frustration was building. It should not, I know, but why should I have to be the one giving orders. I came so close to telling him so, but it only took one look in his eyes. He grabbed my hand,”Stay close ,Lady. I will not see you hurt. And I sure felt the guilt. He was not waiting for orders he was making sure I was safe
“Lady if you will look over there I will look here. I am sure there are packages that have needful things in them.”I smiled. I think I was falling a little in love with him, but I do not think that was what was meant to happen. So I fought the love as if I was fighting an enemy.
I could hear him ripping packages open. I was on the verge of ripping my first one open when I saw Hero’s face staring at me.Not really Hero, but his picture. There was a board with missing children, some before the cleansing, some after, missing families, pets, and Americas Most Wanted. It was Hero, there was no denying. Wanted for three counts of murder and one count of rape. No. Not my Hero.That was another Hero, of course his name was not Hero, it was Luke Johnson. No he was Hero, my Hero, and no matter what went before....I reached for it I wanted to tear it into shreds before he saw it, but it was too late. He saw it, and jerked it down.
I knew right then he was as unaware of his past as I was mine. He found his but was it a good thing? Better to be left in the dark, but there was a reason for seeing this. I never thought about his eyes much before. Oh I know it brought the brown out in them when he smiled and they crinkled. It made them seem so big and beautiful, but never had I seen this.
He was not angry, he was so sad. I tried to hold him, but he backed away. I could see his eyes clouding and I knew the tears were not far away. Still with the poster in his hand he walked out the door, and kept walking.
“Hero stop, please.” “I am not your Hero,” He held the poster out, “I am Luke Johnson, murderer, and rapist.” I ran to him and said, “No, you are not. You are Hero,” I grabbed his arm, and he pushed. I felt myself falling and I hit the sand. I could feel the heat through all my clothes.
I just sat there sobbing. I could not move and it was not because I fell, or I was hurt, or anything like that. Jezzie was galloping towards me, and in my mind I was begging her not to come to me. I could not say it aloud. I had to be quiet, I could not move, I had to ease my breath.
Hero turned. I do not think he knew I fell. ‘No Hero,’Played through my mind, ‘Please, please, please do not scare them.’ Did he catch my thoughts? Or had he given up on his future? Was he holding to the past?
Oh God please let this turn out alright. Jezzie and Hero both knew the snakes were there, circling me. I was not sure how many. I know there were at least three and they were huge. They were under the sand, but each movement brought them to the top.They drew back to strike and I closed my eyes.
Then I felt Hero lifting me from the ground and he held me tightly. I looked down at my feet. Jezzie stood on top of two snakes, and the third had an arrow through its head. We would never be sure what kind they were because we had never seen these before. A new breed of evil.
“Lady I am sorry. I swore I would never hurt you and I did. I am so sorry.” “Hero,” he looked as if he was about to correct me but I would not let him. I held up my hand. “That was a sign from God. It was not to throw your past in your face, but to show you how far you have come. It is to show both of us that people can and do change. If God did not care would you be here? No, you would be dead, or one of those creatures.”
“Hero, you have a new life, a new beginning. I do not care what happened before. If God has forgiven you, can I do no less. I do not need this Luke Johnson. He is dead and gone. I need Hero. Are you still my Hero, Luke?”
He smiled then. I do not know if he will ever forget what he learned today, but for now I had my Hero back. “Who is this Luke you speak of Lady? There is no one here but me, Hero.”
And that is what I wanted to hear. We decided to stay away from the post office for awhile. That would be for a later time.
Jezzie went back to where she had been. I had no worries, she seemed to know when she was needed same as Nessie. I started to put my sunglasses back on again, but I must have dropped them in the sand.
I turned back to look and thought I saw movement, and as I was turning I saw Hero go down, I was running towards him, and I fell. I did not trip, so what happened? My head was in a whirl, and I felt something in the side of my neck. A tranquilizer dart. I tried to rise. My eyes were dimming and I could barely see Hero struggling for freedom.
“Laaaady, “He yelled as he went down, “Hero,” Did I yell it, whisper it, or just think it? I was down and out.
Chapter 22
I can not recall any part of my body not aching. My headache was so severe I wanted to keep my eyes closed. But I could not. “Hero, Hero.” It was only a whisper. My throat was excessively dry. I felt around for Hero. He must be off looking around.
No, wait a minute. It was not supposed to be dark, it had not been dark since we arrived. A tear slid down my cheek. Now I remembered. We had been attacked and I had not even seen our attackers. I could hear movement, coughing every now and then, and sobs. Other people. There were survivors in here. Why did they have no light?
I crawled on my hands and knees; rock. That is what I felt. I could feel the sharpness cutting into my hands, and I felt blood from a cut on my thigh. I stopped. Crawling around in the darkness did little good. Hero had not spoken yet, perhaps he was not awake yet. Perhaps he was.... no. I refused to consider that possibility.
Then a thought come to me. I should have a flashlight in my skirt pocket, unless they searched me. “Thank you, God,” I said as I looked upwards. I could not see anything, yet I knew He was there. And so was the flashlight.
It would not last for long. I only had the batteries that was in it, they were new, but I did not know how long I would be in here. I shined it around the area. We were underground. This was a cave.
I had not noticed before but their was a rotted smell. At least they left me with my wrappings. I covered my nose and mouth.
I noticed as I shone the light around there was movement. It or they did not want the light to shine on them. Well that was to bad. I needed to know what I was locked up with. And yes, I knew I was locked up. A boulder rested in front of the entrance way, and there was no other way out. I already figured out Hero was not in here, but I needed to know who was in here.
The light finally caught this little old lady, and she shielded her eyes. How long since she had seen light? Disregarding the rock floor, I crawled over to her. The poor old woman was terrified. Old? No she was not that old, not as old as I thought before. Her red hair was so dull and lifeless, matted together as the look of an old witch. She had numerous cuts and bruises, and my goodness how she stunk. Her dress was barely hanging on her thinning frame, tatters barely covering her breasts.
There were others, male and female, cowering against the wall. And on the opposite side I saw what caused the rotted smell. Several dead bodies lay there. Death had taken them gasping for air. They were piled one on top of the other as a stack.
I could hear someone coming. They were whistling a tune. I knew I had heard it, but could not recall what it was. It was not Hero, but maybe they would let me go to him, or tell me where he was.
The boulder was moved by chains. Very clever. A lantern was carried by one of them. He was silent, head down, scared fellow. The other had a huge roasting pan with some kind of food in it. I am not sure what it was but it looked kind of like oatmeal and grits mixed together. It turned my stomach.
The man that brought the food in had evil eyes, dark thin eyes. His skin was dark and he had a cowboy hat pulled back from his face. He glanced my way and I felt chills. It brought a silent prayer to my lips.
“Dig in,” He said. His voice was deep, and he had an accent, but I could not place it. They all gathered round the pan, and the evil one kicked a little scrawny man. Young, old, I did not know. This life had really took hold of them, robbing them of everything they once were.
The man grimaced and went forward again. “Not you. Everyone but you.” Once again he kicked the man and looked straight at me. “Get over there and eat.”There was no way I would eat that. Not yet anyway. “No thank you, I am not hungry.” He walked to me and I looked him straight in the eyes, and he hit me hard. I fell in the plate of food, and everyone just ate around me.
I gathered what dignity I could and stood. “Eat,” He yelled, “No,” I yelled back. “Soon you will. Soon you will be just like the rest of the bait.” “Bait?” “What kind of bait?” “Oh Lady soon you will find out, but not yet.”
“Where is Hero? What have you done with him?” He laughed a harsh laugh, and he was still laughing as the boulder dropped and the darkness reappeared.
I told the little man, “It is safe, you can eat now.” He was crying. “What is the matter. You can have my share.” The woman I noticed first said, “The ones that do not get to eat, they know they are bait. Tomorrow when they take him out, he will not be back.”
I fell to my knees ignoring the pain of the rock, ignoring the throbbing face, and ignoring the tears that fell. I needed God. “God, it is I Lady. We need your help. I know there is a purpose for this, and I know you are with me. Please help us God. Amen.”
“He will not help us. He has forgotten us. I gasped. How could anyone think such a thing? “You are wrong. He sent Hero and I to help you, and we will.” The woman cackled, and once again I thought of a witch. I berated myself for that thought. There is no telling how long she had been in here. “You are locked in here with us, and your Hero is dead.” “No, Hero is not dead, and God will provide.”
An amazing thing happened. The little man was on his knees praying, and then all of them were, all but the woman.
I was not sure of the future, how long I would be down here, or how we would escape, but we would. I could feel it in my heart. I felt a hand on my shoulder but no one stood there. Let me rephrase that, God had His hand on my shoulder.
I do not know how, but I slept.
{Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Faith is the currency of heaven. It’s the substance you need for God to go to work.}
Chapter 23
Isaiah 41:10-11 . So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.......
Food was delivered, water in a big bucket, day after day? Twice a day. I did not know. They never came for the man, and still I gave them my portion of food. I could barely hold the water, and its foul taste, I was afraid to try the food.
“You have been here five days you know. Sooner or later you will have to eat.”Her cackling laugh always grated my nerves, but as usual I ignored. “Where is your rescue? I told you once you were in here , the only way you leave is bait.”
I really did not want to talk. I was weak and hungry, my throat dry, but I had to ask. “Everyone keeps talking of bait. What exactly is bait?” “Well nobody knows. That is just what they call us. All I know is when they come to get you, they do not bring you back.”
“How do you know how long I have been in here.” I think it was more of a curiosity than a really want to know kind of thing. “I have a calender. It is out dated but it is still usable. They bring the food, every night, same time.”
“I do not ever want to know again. I care nothing for time. That is the reason all this came about. People were always in a rush, always greedy, it was always,”If I had more time,” My head was beginning to hurt, and my thoughts were deserting me.
Help will come. Hero will come. He is not dead or I would know this. I sat, my back to the wall. I had trouble standing anymore. My flashlight had long since depleted itself of batteries. When I found this wall I did not stray far. It was the cleanest spot in here, and I was so afraid to loose it.
I had tried being brave, I had tried helping these people, but I did not know how. I cried, but with my lack of water it was dry tears, my eyes burned, my head ached, and my eyesight was dimming.
I was going blind. “Lord if it is your will, then so be it.” The boulder was moved from the door and more swill in the huge roasting pan. I could hear their slurping noises, and if I had anything to throw up, I probably would have.
And with a cackle the woman said, “Day six, and you are still here.” I did not respond, instead I closed my eyes to pray. I still did not know how many people were in here, but I do know that several would come and pray with me.
“Hero,” I thought I heard his voice, and again there it was. “Lady, hang on. I am coming for you.” Unsure whether the voice in my head was real, or fantasy made. I listened again. I could feel Hero. He was alive, and he would come for me.
Though my throat was dry I felt joy in my heart and could not help a verse of Amazing Grace.
Chapter 24
He wakes. He reaches for her and she is not there. Such trouble he has sleeping when she is not with him. He tried to rise but she was not in sight. He hurts, and he does not know why. He is amazed by the blisters that form his skin, and the hot sand burns him.His wrappings had disappeared. He could not completely rise. He half crawled, half drug himself. He needed out of the sun.Where was she?
Then he remembers. They were attacked. He had left her, but he had not meant to. He had just wanted to think, but he left her side. But she had caught up to him. His thoughts jumbled, blended into many scenarios. Who was he kidding? It would have happened even with him near.
When they met he realized she was his mate, but she did not know this and he could not say the words. Not yet.She is his heart, and he feels such anguish, such pain.He must find his heart, and forever would he remain by her side, no matter the happenings.
He struggled past the post office, too much heat and sun, and his past. He could not enter there again. Not yet anyway. She had forgiven him that, God had forgiven him that. But that is what caused him to loose his heart.
She was not dead, he knew this. He could feel her breath, he could hear her words and thoughts.
He opened the door to the place she had gotten the sunglasses and fell upon entering. Those creatures were here, he remembered them, though he had never gotten a good look. He could not move, though, and he did not remember them coming this close to the light.
His eyes closed. He was only going to close them for a moment, only a moment. He was moving, being dragged. He started to struggle, but if these were the things that had Lady perhaps they were leading him there
Being a big person, they were having trouble dragging him, and it was hurting him worse than before. They stopped. He heard their ragged breath. He did not know how many, but there were more than two and less than four by the feeling.
Then he felt more, many more. Maybe this was not such a good idea after all. They did not know he was awake so he did have the element of surprise. Then there were many dragging him. He could feel the hands all over his body. Their fingers digging into his burnt body, he felt like screaming but for a bit more he must be calm.
“Why you bring this big human here?” A woman‘s voice, an unfamiliar voice.“They are coming ,Uma. “They took the Lady, what if they come back for him. He good I think.” Silence for a moment then,“Big man, big man wake. You need move farther back. They get you. They will not come back here.” He moved farther back on his own, once he knew they were trying to help him and not harm. He opened his eyes and looked. They were human just under fed, and lack of sunshine. They were hiders. It had to have been since the beginning. Their eyes were glazed over as blind, and their skin was a pearly white. Skin and bones really hard to tell the men from the women.
“Shhh, shh quite now. We talk after they leave.” The door opened and slammed shut. “Where is he?” He has laid in the sand for six days. You said he was dead. NOW WHERE IS HE?”
“He was dead boss. We checked him. Even took those rags that he covered with. Jack said he saw one of those mutant wolves. Maybe they got him.”
“You should have brought him when I told you too. Icarn is on the move and he is unsatisfied with our recent bait.”Right now he was very unhappy with his men. Evidently they could not follow orders. “Hey boss what about that Lady. She ain’t done nothing but stir up trouble, since she been in there. She got them all a praying and having them believe some Hero is going to save them.”
It was all Hero could do to remain still and not give them all away. “We could try, I guess. Probably need to get rid of her anyway. She won’t be no good to us dead of starvation. Now Lets get them supplies loaded and head out. This place gives me the creeps.”
He heard the door slam and let out a deep breath he had been holding. “What is bait? He thought he might know but he really wanted it verified. “Well we do not really know. We just know when they take you, you never return. I think it is a sacrifice.” That is what he had been thinking.
He remembered now. The wolves had stood guard over him. He had seen her face, had felt her tears. His heart hurt, he felt his body aflame. She was near, she was his Lady, and he was getting her back. “Do not worry Lady, I am coming.” He smiled, she heard him for her whispered words carried upon the air, “I know, my Hero. I know.”
Chapter 25
“Her heart is pure, her love is true. She tries to ease our suffering all of the people imprisoned with her. She has given us her food, she has prayed with us, and for us. Why do you hate her so?” The woman that always cackled shrugged her shoulders. It mattered not to me. I have tried many times to befriend her, pray for her, but each time she turned me away.
But always I will pray for her. No one seems to know what bait is, but I have an idea. I am thinking sacrifice, and I fear no more. God will not let me be a sacrifice for anyone but Him.
I can not say I have not been afraid since I have been in here, but it was not for long. The Lord was with me, and I felt Hero’s presence stronger each day.
He is my soul, but I can not tell him, not yet. The first time I met him, I knew he was meant to be my mate, but he must be the one to talk of it. It is not the time.
I can not give up hope. I feel my faith strong within me. I had questioned the reasons for me being here and Hero somewhere else. I should not have. I know God always has his reasons, and I think I know why.
Quite time, thinking time, rebuilding time. We need to figure a way to build a bridge across the split. Even though it is extremely wide there has to be a way. Or we could build a barrier to prevent people from falling into the split. It would all work itself out. And that was our purpose for being here. Settling in this location, saving these people from their situation.
If we could remove all the debris, stack all the lumber from the destroyed buildings, and start anew.
There was potting soil, in the store where the sunglasses were, we would just have to deal with the creatures, in there. I had the vegetable and fruit seeds from the man, (I still think he was an angel). We could build a shed to grow things in.
We could bring Nessie, the other animals, Tom, and the rest. There would be enough people to work at it, and start over again.
Funny how weakness made your brain think of things you should have known all along but only now brought it to mind.
All was quiet, no chatter, and I closed my eyes. My stomach growled furiously and I knew soon I would have to eat. I could already encircle my wrist with my fingers, and crawling more than walking.
“Do not worry Lady, I am coming for you.” My throat was dry, and only a whisper escaped, “I know, my Hero, I know.
Chapter 26
I think the woman in here with us loved to torture me. I did not know any of their names and never asked. That would make it personal. But if my mission was going to be fulfilled I needed to get personal. But the woman; well I was not so sure. Never give up hope, though.
“Day seven,” She cackled, as the boulder moved from the door. No one came through. I could hear screams, shouts, and people running. “No not that way, that way is death.” The screams stopped but I could still hear feet running.
A light came, "Out everyone out.” I could not move. I had sat so long my body had went to sleep. I could see the light now, but my eyes could not handle the brightness. Someone was at the entrance way guiding and helping the people, and still I sat. I do not know what overcome me. I just know of a sudden, I could not breathe.
“Out you people. You can escape, now. There is nothing to hold you here anymore.” But still they sat, all but the cackler. Slowly she walked to the entrance, but stopped and cowered at every noise. She walked through the entrance and not long after instead of hearing her normal cackle I heard screams, down, down, down farther, till I heard them no more.
My eyes were shut, I needed to rest just for a moment. Let everyone else clear out first, then I would leave. I felt his breath against my ear, and he gently pulled me up, holding me tightly. I tried steps, but I could not walk them. He lifted me in his arms and my head rested on his shoulder. I felt my life returning, I felt my soul, I felt my heart smile.
He bade everyone go to the right, left meant certain death. “Show me. I can walk now.” He released me from his arms but still held my hand. “Slowly lady, would be easy to walk off the edge.” And I knew what he meant. We were inside the earth and the drop off was the crack in the earth. A bottomless pit awaited anyone that ventured this way. It come quickly, without warning and that was the screams that lasted long after they should have ended.
I prayed for the lost souls that had journeyed that way, and prayed for the ones that made it out safely.
“We must go now. There is still danger. We must leave this place.” I had not realized how many people were in there but we passed more cave like rooms. We made sure everyone was out before we left, then the earth shook, but not like the big quake, more of a ......everyone scattered.
He was huge. Taller than the post office. I had never seen a giant, the only existence I had known was in the bible. But here was one trying to step on our people.
The people had pretty much gotten out of the way except for me and Hero, and his giant steps, brought him close quickly. Hero handed me my bow, but the arrows did no good. “I am Icarn.” His voice was loud, echoing throughout the town. “I want food, now.”
Again the earth shook and it settled. Each time the earth dropped. He stomped his foot like a child with a temper tantrum. “YOU,” His voice boomed as if thunder over the mountainside. It was me he wanted, but he was not going to get me. How to prevent it, I did not have a clue, but it would come.
Chapter 27
Icarn bent down reaching for me. His hair was so long, I could have climbed it as a rope, but looking at him it was short. It really only reached his shoulders, but his shoulders were huge. It was a dusky charcoal color, and it matched the freckles upon his face. The color must be from the sun. He did not burn, he tanned. That was weird since everyone else burned, and he was closer to the sun.
Maybe it was the location he was from. there was life other than here but really big life. I side stepped his hand. My goodness the size of his fingers. Almost the size of one of my legs. I shot an arrow into his finger and it only must have been a pin prick to him. I think I just made him angry. He slammed his fist upon the sand and it created a vibration, picking me up and tossing me in the air.
I was so tired, weak, and hungry but God had given me the strength for this battle. But now it must end. He reached for me again and I took off running, motioning for Hero to join me. Icarn stood reaching his full height , and we ran avoiding his gigantic feet. Now I know what they meant by giant steps. And we were running straight for the crack in the earth. Closer and closer, to the crack and the last minute I turned left, Hero turned right, and Icarn could not stop. I could hear his screams as he tumbled into nothingness below.The screams gave way to a sad echo.
I plopped down on the ground, to tired to move, and Hero moved to my side. He also plopped down. I looked at him, he looked at me, and for some unknown reason, laughter burst forth. Could be from, joy, could be from being alive, or could just be from the insanity of it all. I mean really how many giants have ever been around? Icarn was the first one I had ever seen, and I wondered were there any more? Such a big possibility.
What was happening? The whole area began to shake and Hero and I held tightly each other. The remaining buildings tumbled, the survivors ran in random directions avoiding the aftermath. The post office crumbled into dust, glass from the windows shattering, and massive boulders rolled from under the earth where we had been imprisoned.
Still we held tightly to each other, still the earth shook, and the crack in the earth was filling with rock and debris. When it was filled to the top, the earth no longer shook. A quiet peace settled.
The survivors came out from hiding slowly, looking around in wonder. The hiders came from the only building that remained standing, the one where I got my sunglasses.
Hand and hand Hero and I made ourselves known. We were home. This was where we would settle, start anew. This was our new beginning.
The wagon was still there and still in one piece, but where was Jezzie?
Chapter 28
“I know you.” I turned. She was an old woman, perhaps in her seventies. “You lived up the mountain, little old cabin up there.” All the time she spoke I was thinking no, no, please do not tell me. What if it was bad? What if it was something I did not want to remember?. But I have never, well not sure about the past, but now I have never walked away from anyone. That would be rude.
She cocked her head to the side, and after looking for a minute said, “Maybe that was not you after all,” And she hobbled off. I watched as a young girl, really filthy girl, took her arm and was leading her away. She was not the only filthy one, we all were.
This was good. People walking about, getting to know each other. Even the hiders had come out. Hero had let me in on a short version of hiders, my rescue, and how he had been left for dead.
We gathered everyone together, and led them to the waterfall. It was amazing how people could change so much after the grit and grime was washed away. There was so much laughter and chatter, so much happiness had come this day, or night which one I did not know. I did not have the cackler’s calendar to rely on.
The man that had looked after me while I was imprisoned was called Mark. He claimed to have been named after the book of Mark in the bible. He had brought me a can of peaches. He had opened them and everything. I was delighted with his gift, so delighted I kissed him on the cheek. I watched as his face turned red.
At one time he had been a hider. They had stock piled food way back in the back of the store. He had slipped out one day, and they had caught him. “Lady I think the reason I was caught was to meet you. It matters not anymore. I am at your service anytime.”That was so sweet. “Thank you, Mark. I will remember that.”
Most everyone were trying to find a place to lay their heads. They were clean now, most had eaten, quenched their thirst, and now their energy was abandoning them. It was time for me to rest as well.
There were more people now to guard and they were scattered. How were we to guard them? It would be better to get them all together, but Hero took my hand and led me away.
He pointed to the north, the south, the east, and west. “Do not worry Lady, we are well guarded. We have nothing to fear.
They were beautiful. Wolves stood in all directions. Four of them, but they were bigger than a normal wolf, stronger, and deadlier. Two were ivory white, and two were black as a ravens wings.
“Hero, have you seen Jezzie?” I had no idea why I worried over her. It was the same with the stranger‘s horse. They would come when they were needed.“No Lady, I have not, but I am sure she will show.” He touched his finger to my lips and said, “Shhh now Lady, let us go rest. You have been through a tough time.” He led me to the store and we went to a secret room in back. I worried no longer over the cuts and bruises I managed to receive, but I could hear his sharp intake of breath.
I turned towards him and touched his cheek. Oh what tender eyes he held. I could never get enough of looking into his brown eyes, yet now was not the time for declarations of love. A little voice flitting through my mind teased my thoughts. Will the time ever be right? He held me gently in his arms and sleep came quickly.
Chapter 29
I awoke with my head on Hero’s shoulder. It felt good, it felt so right. I wanted to watch him sleep, but it was really dark back here, dark as the cave. I had almost got my eyes readjusted to the sunshine, and now I am in darkness again. I shook it off. I could not fear. I had God watching over me and Hero by my side.
I could feel the beat of his heart, and the warmth of his breath. I could feel the peace, the feeling of safety, that Hero sent forth. I snuggled back up against him and enjoyed the feel of him. I did not know how long it would last.
Our world had been spinning us like a child’s top. A new journey, a new adventure each day, or night. It was not really so bad being unaware of time and days. I felt more appreciation for what God had given us. I felt a deeper appreciation for people, but most of all, I had a deeper love for God.
My thirst had returned. I eased from Hero’s arms, and stood grabbing my bow and flashlight. Though I was just going to grab some water, I would not be caught without a weapon. So many things could happen, so many things could go wrong.
“Hold Lady, I will go with you.” “It is okay Hero. I am just going for water.” His voice became more insistent. “I said hold Lady. I lost you once, I will not loose you again.” Another time, another place, not really knowing for sure, but I think I would be upset. But now, at this moment, my heart was singing a very happy song.
His hand touched mine and our fingers entwined. The flashlight put out a weak glow as we walked through the shadows of stacked boxes. It was if they knew what was to come.
I stopped us by the sunglasses. I would need another pair since mine had been lost during my capture. Wait a minute. The sun was not shining.
We practically ran out the door and looked towards the Heavens. Darkness had fallen, but not the darkness like back at the old cave. The cave where Tom, Johnny, Adam and the rest were. No this was night time darkness.
There was a full moon, and a sky full of stars. The wolves gave a chorus of howling at the moon, but not for long. Just long enough to let us know that we had survived, the worst, and getting ready to work for the best.
Chapter 30
It was cool, and it felt so good. Not wintertime cool, but the cool you felt on a summer’s night. Time, seasons, daylight, and night, things we had taken for granted now served as a lesson learned.
Hero and I watched the sunrise together, and it was such a beautiful sight. Had I ever watched a sunrise? I was not sure, but I was watching it now.
I was no longer going to call our people survivors, they were neighbors. John, the barber, and his wife Leia the seamstress, Jimmy the carpenter, and his son, Anthony, Chancy the grounds keeper, and so many more.
There were many, I was overwhelmed, not many as in big city many, but enough to start our own little town. There were more carpenters, millers, shop clerks, and the list went on and on. Now all we needed was organization and team work.
They began to walk to Hero and I and soon they had all gathered. They looked to us, they looked to me, and I did not want the responsibility. I was a warrior, a gatherer, a disciple, not a leader.
Besides it was time to go back to the cave and gather the others. They should be here with us, in our new home. There were no houses yet, no buildings, except the store, but that was soon to be taken care of.
“Lady, what do we do now?” I think that was Jacob the worrier. “Well we get organized. Everyone has their talents, it is time to put them to use. We rebuild. We share food, and water, we grow crops, we build houses, there are many things to be done.”
“But Lady that will take time.” Of course there had to be one drama queen in the mix, so now we had Debbie drama. “And where are you going anytime soon? We have no clock, we have nothing to say rush, rush, rush. Time is unimportant. Enjoy this day God has given you. We survived. Appreciate that.”
“So Lady, what is your talent? Can you build, can you sew, what can you do?” I do not think it was what he said, but how he said it. He was a pudgy little man,(which was out of place here amongst the ones that had little food.) and he had a smirk upon his face. And then he had the nerve to look me over like he was buying livestock. Well maybe I was just imagining it, but then maybe I was not, because I felt Hero tense up and the look on his face was none to pleasant.
“I am a warrior, a settler, I am not a leader, and I do not do arguing. Though Hero may take a mate, he will lay with her at night, but on the morrow, I will be by his side, fighting, protecting, exploring this new world.” What had I done? I should have left Hero out of this. I think my face must have turned all kinds of red. I just as much said he was my mate. How to correct this before I stuck my foot further in my mouth, I was unaware. I am sure he would not forget this.
Hero stepped forward. he did not look at me, did not smile, but looked straight at the pudgy fellow. “Lady is a warrior and a very good one. Do you think y’all are the first ones she has helped? Towards the west are cannibals. Yes they eat people. It was her bravery, her courage, her faith in God that saved those people, and almost cost her her life.’
“Though she may someday marry, she may lay with him at night, but on the morrow I will be by her side. I will always fight with her, go where she goes, and have her back no matter what. If anyone has a problem with that come forward now.” The pudgy man lost the smirk on his face and eased his way into the back of the crowd, however another stepped forward. A little skinny fellow only about five feet tall, long shaggy red hair and a thick beard to match. Surely this man was not going to challenge Hero.
“I am Elvin, sir, and Lady,” He nodded his head once at each word. I am a preacher and I would be honored to marry you two. It is known by all you are meant to be together.” “Well Elvin, the preacher, I am honored that you would do this, and honored that we have a man of God among us. Now we can have a church. You will preach for us won’t you.” Okay so I was avoiding the subject of marriage. For one Hero had not asked me, and now he had a choice of more women no. For another, it was not time, not yet.
Hero had been put on the spot. Yes he wanted Lady as his mate, but it was not time. How could he say this without hurting his soul, his mate. Besides there were more men now, and it was time to bring Johnny, Tom and the others. Tom was in good health and a doctor, maybe she would prefer him. Oh his heart hurt at the thought.
My heart hurt at the thought of Hero laying with another, but he was a handsome man, and a brave warrior. There were more women now, and clean they looked pretty. I would not dwell on it now, that would be future. What God wanted would be the outcome.
At the same time we spoke,”Thank you Elvin, but it is not time yet.” I think we both breathed a sigh of relief. Yes we were mates and I held a deep love for this man, but something was telling me yes, it will happen, but not yet. Now was not the time.
I had work to do. We all had work to do. Everyone got busy putting their talents to use. The barber was cutting hair, the seamstress was sewing clothes, there were many stacking lumber from the fallen buildings, removing debris, all were busy except the pudgy man.
Ellie took it upon herself to cook for everyone, and I made it plain those that did not work, did not eat. “If they give you trouble fetch Hero or me,old pudgy over there, if he does not work soon, no food.” She laughed. “That is Curtis the banker. He was always so greedy, and mean. He has never had a kind word for anyone.” “Well Ellie, perhaps we should take him down a notch or two.” I winked and walked off.
I could not help the sharp intake of breath that come forth from my lips. Hero was without a shirt, helping stack the lumber, his skin had become a dark brown, and without the wrappings he was indeed a fine specimen of a man.
I went into the store, got on my knees and thanked God for the opportunity He put before us. I knew there was more, I could feel the restlessness. Soon we must get the others. We needed Tom. It would be good to have a doctor around.
After my conversation with God I found some flower pots in the store and the potting soil. My back pack was still in the wagon, so I retrieved the seeds. I put the tomato seeds in three different pot and found a nice out of the way spot to put them. Now for the water. I could use bottled water, but then I would just have to refill the bottles. I found a jug, I already had my bow, but for some reason I preferred my machete, and I had not used it in awhile, so I also took it along.
Thinking and walking just like before. I could find some pipe, drag it to the waterfall, and run it into the town. We could build a big barrel to catch the water. We could also build a smaller barrel, put it in the shade and the coolness would keep drinks and things like that cold.
He followed her, and watched her, and he waited.
Chapter 31
She was beautiful, his Lady. Why did she take off on her own? Did she not realize she was always in his thoughts. He was always aware of her. He could feel her hearts beat when she was not near. He could feel her breath, as a whispering thought. He loved her. He had not told her, but she knew.
The jug was filling and he watched as she stepped under the falling water. It fell upon her, and he closed his eyes. He did not need to see, he knew. He knew the way her eyes sparkled with joy at the simplest pleasures, the way the corners of her lips turned up in an innocent smile.
She was through now and he would carry the water. He showed himself, and he saw her eyes light with pleasure, someday, yes someday.
“Wonder what lies past these trees?” I know it came out of the blue, but I really was curious. “Well Lady, perhaps we should find out.” I was not surprised to find he was there. I felt him, I could sense his presence. He had given me my space and I loved him that much more. He always knew what I needed.
He carried the water back for me, and I watered the seeds I had planted. It would be harder for the fruit trees, the soil was ,mainly sand. Of course if I dug the hole deep enough I could put potting soil in, then the seeds, or I could start them in a flower pot.
Curtis the banker came over and offered his help. He had no skills that he knew of (besides money) but he had stayed on a farm for awhile. He would not say much about it except he loved to watch things grow.
He carried bags and bags of potting soil, and once started he would not stop. I think he lost himself in the task at hand. There was no longer any chatter, no longer any sarcasm, and I did not have to give him direction in anything he was doing. He really was not a bad sort, but then again he had to go without lunch earlier in the day.
Shadows lengthened the evening sky, and everyone was at their stopping point. There was only a few working on a wash barrel, but it was not through yet. Everyone was heading for the waterfall to wash up for supper.
Hero and I were left alone. We both were getting restless. Things had been started here and they were well able to tend the town themselves. They are getting organized, they were breathing, once again they held hope.
As soon as Jezzie returned I was going back for the others. This was their future as well. This town needed a doctor, fresh milk, eggs, and oh how I missed Nessie.
The wolves had remained and Hero and I would feed them, when we were here. When we were gone, Morris would feed them. Morris was young, perhaps a teenager, it was hard to tell. I noticed Sarah Jane eyeing him a lot this day. Well we did have a preacher now.
The wolves were baying now, everyone was running from the waterfall back to town. An occasional scream tore through the air, but then all was quite.
Just like a school girl I jumped up and down and actually cried happy tears. Hero was smiling from ear to ear, The wolves stopped their baying, and the whole town was looking at us really funny.
Jezzie was back and she had brought three horses with her. Now we were building up our animal stock. After we brought back the others, Jezzie and the wagon could stay here, and Hero and I could take the horses exploring.
There was still a lot of land out there to explore, a lot of survivors, and a whole lot of curiosity.
Chapter 32
I found Elvin to be a true man of God. He prayed over our meals, prayed over the crops started by Curtis and I, and he even prayed over the wolves. Many a time when Hero and I were on our knees and he came to join us.
The moon had passed five times since Jezzie had returned, and on the morrow Hero and I would depart for the cave. I felt a sense of urgency, mixed with a sense of excitement. I knew Tom could handle the small group, and the animals, but I still felt that something was not quite right.
Two buildings were up, a church, and community building. The water barrel for cooling was completed and the washing barrel was almost through. I still preferred the water fall. It provided a sense of peace and privacy.
I usually bathed with clothes on to wash them as well, but this time I removed everything.. There would be no prying eyes, the wolves guarded me well, especially my biggest wolf, my Hero. I did not feel his eyes on me and that was just as well. It was too soon, and we were not married yet.
I felt good, I felt clean, and I stood guard over Hero as he done with me. We walked back together in silence. My mind was on our journey to come.
After arriving back in town I went into the church and Hero followed. We were on our knees asking God for his blessing on our journey, and thanking him for our people and the wonders already accomplished.
There was a big change in Curtis. I think he was meant to be a gardener rather than a banker. Several of the men had gathered enough old wood to start wooden sidewalks, and had even built some wooden benches.
A long wooden table was in the center of town, and that is where we all gathered for our meals. Elvin asked God to bless our food before us, and just before we started our food Elie came around to my side of the table and bless her heart she had some sweet tea. I think I thanked her so much her eyes sparkled from pure joy.
Many things I missed since the cleansing begun, but I managed. Many things I had drunk, goats milk, hot Pepsi, even hot water. This was sweet tea, and you better believe I enjoyed it immensely.
Several of the women helped Elie gather the dishes from the table, and the men hung out just to chat.
Hero come to my side and said, “Lady may I have this dance?” I was going to speak of no music but of a sudden I heard some. Someone had found an old boom box and though the radio would not play, there were CD’s. I discovered I knew how to slow dance, and even later just danced. There was so much laughter. I guess we were celebrating, or maybe it was a farewell party. Soon the batteries died on the player, and though there were more, everyone was tired, and ready to call it a night.
She watches me. She had watched me all night, and the feeling was creepy. Did the old woman really know me, or was she mistaking me for someone else? She had called me Cindy the other day. For some reason it was familiar, but then the young girl, her granddaughter Erica snatched her away before I could ask more. I really did not want to know more, though.
Hero and I had a tent now. One of the wolves we named Bane. Why I do not know,it just sounded right. Bane was always more watchful, he chose to watch our tent as we slept. The other wolves remained nearby, watching, waiting. I think a few more had come in the last moon’s pass.
I did not know their thoughts, but Hero did. They had protected him as he lay weak, and dying upon the sand. Yes, they were welcome here and the new ones as well.
As I lay asleep, dreams flowed through a misty haze torturing my mind.
Chapter 33
He was a man, a big man, mean looking. He was reaching for me. He grabbed me by the hair, and I was terrified. “Lady, Lady awaken please.” I woke terrified and shaking fiercely. “What is it Lady? What is wrong?” He held me and I calmed a little. I did not tell him, I could not tell him, because I did not know myself. Before I woke I saw the old woman in the distance tears from her eyes.
I lay in Hero’s arms fear keeping me from sleep, and I could tell he did not sleep either. It was decided we would leave before sunrise. If we should need sleep we could climb in the wagon and rest.
We were leaving Jezzie and the old wagon, and one of the horses. They would be useful moving lumber and hauling debris. Even though the crack in the earth had been filled, we still had to build a bridge to bring the wagon across. That had been done, nearly after Icarns demise.
The men had built a new wagon, complete with a roof. It was very nice. A covered wagon as in the old days. We were starting as they did, and I prayed every day that our progress would not end up as it had in modern days, before the cleansing.
We had proven that we could survive, on what little we had. Though things were missed we could make it. It was sure great having that sweet tea. She found it in the hiders things. In fact I think they had told her about it.
Curtis had been happy too. Little sprouts were coming up all over the place. He had even found a hoe, and turned some of the soil. He said though it was sandy, if he could dig deep enough, or even mix it with some potting soil he might be able to get some grass started. There had been some grass seed in the store also.
We were loading up the wagon with supplies when Elvin come upon us. He said that something had woke him, and when he discovered what we were doing he wanted to wish us well, and safety.
I was grateful that he was awake to bless our journey. I entered the church, Hero by my side, and prayed for the safety of our town, our people, and our journey.
Flashes of that man in my dream kept flitting through my mind. I never did get a good look at him, but I knew he was evil. I could feel it. I began to shrivel inside at Hero’s touch but why? I did not want to. I loved him and I knew I was hurting him, and though I tried there was something I did not understand.
The wagon was loaded now. I was not sure how long the trip would be because there had been no concept of time when we left. There was no day and night, light and dark. It did not matter we were on our way now, and no matter the length of the journey we would have more citizens, fresh eggs, fresh milk, and a doctor.
I talked to God quite a bit as we started our journey, something just did not feel right, but I was not sure what yet. I just believe the evil man had something to do with it.
Chapter 34
I could not be cold towards Hero for long, especially during the time we slept. Bane traveled with us and though most wolves in olden times slept of the day and were active at night, Bane did both it depended on the need.
The lack of sleep had taken it’s toll on me and Hero finally insisted I crawl in the wagon and sleep. If I was needed he would wake me.I know I slept, but the evil man kept appearing. Not for long, just a whisper here and there. Every time the evil one came for me Hero replaced him.
The third pass of the moon and we passed what was once the road to the Baker farm. I was wide awake now, looking at the marvel of the new world. A dirt bank covered the entrance to what had once been the road to the Bakers farm , and trees were growing. If you did not know you would not believe that had once been a dirt road.
Soon we would arrive. I needed to walk a bit and Hero joined me. He took my hand in his and I realized it had been awhile since we had just held hands and walked. As usual we did not need words. Bane was close on our heals and as Jezzie had done, the horses kept moving. It was as if they knew where to go.
I still had the feeling that something was not quite right and the closer we got to the cave, the more the feeling affected me.
I understood that Hero was worried over me, and I finally told him of my dreams and the evil one. He stopped, I stopped, and he held me tighter than he ever had before. He touched my cheek and at that moment all my fears left me. “Lady, I will never let anything happen to you. No one will harm you as long as breath flows from me.” And I believed him.
We climbed back into the wagon, and spotted the opening leading to the cave. Something was definitely wrong. I jumped down from the wagon and rushed into the cave. The smell of death was strong. I could smell burning hair, and flesh.
I ran through the cave Hero following close. Tom was burning bodies, Adam and Johnny was bringing wood to help burn them better. Tom had warned them not to eat that meat. Someone had left it on the road, it was cold, and wrapped. “I told them Lady. I practically begged them not to eat it. We did not touch it. Even the children wanted it. I do not know if it was intentional, or accidental, but they are dead. There was nothing I could do. I tried, I really did.”
I prayed with Tom, Johnny, and Adam, prayed for the dead, and prayed that there would be no more death.
“Gather your things. We have found the perfect place to start again." I looked around.Where are the animals” We put them in the cooling room and Nessie is watching over things. I went into the cooling room and sure enough she was guarding well.
I sat, and Nessie, Billy, and the cats(I could no longer call them kittens) came to welcome me. “We must go.” I washed some of the dust off my face but I really do not know why. I was just getting right back in it. Maybe it was not because of the dust, maybe it was to wash away the tears.
The cats, (there were extra now), the hens, several more (since the little chicks had grown), were in the wagon. Tom, Johnny, and Adam had also climbed up there. Nessie, her kid, and Billie walked along side.
On the journey home I told them all about our little town. I knew they would be happy there. There was life, happiness, and friendship, and so much to do.
“Tom, it is okay. You can not control people. It was meant to happen.” I turned and smiled at Johnny and Adam, Boys if you look in that box over there you will find a jar of peanut butter. There are also some crackers in there. We also brought kool aid, but it is warm I am sure.
I do not think it mattered to them. It was food, it was something besides eggs and goats milk, and they were growing boys. They had grown a lot since I saw them last.
A shiver ran up my spine, but as soon as it came it was gone. A warning of things to come. Passed the Bakers farm road was a swarm, or herd, I really do not know what you would call them. But they were there and there was no where we could go. We had to fight.
Psalm 27:5 'For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock.
Chapter 35
Flat noses, red bloodshot eyes; you could barely catch a glimpse from the droopy lids. They had only a few tendrils of hair, and their skin was almost an ivory white, and their teeth(If you could call them that )had a light greenish tint. Their clothes hung in tatters, and they walked in a stooped manner.
As they moved forward towards us, I got a better look at them. Their teeth were jagged, and sharp like shards of glass. Froth dripped from their lips. One had a piece of dried meat hung between the edges, and it really looked to be raw.
Ten maybe? Hero and I could probably handle it. I do not think Tom has ever fought, and I bade Johnny and Adam remain in the wagon. They needed to survive, they were the future
They rushed us. To be in the condition their bodies held they were quick. In no time at all they were upon us. It was to close in for the bow and arrows, so I had my machete striking anything in my path. Hero, was cornered as well, and slashing as I did.
Tom and Adam grabbed Nessie, Billy, and the kid and put them inside the wagon for safety. They would not have a chance to fight off the swarm, or whatever they were called. That was one worry off my mind, I would not have to watch out for them as well.
One of them came from behind and I felt its long jagged nails attach themselves to my arm. Its nails were hung in my skin. Finally it got loose and had a small strip of my skin which it tasted. It really went into a frenzy then. I remember going down, my arm bleeding, and the creature on top of me. It was going for my throat and I was holding it off trying to get the machete at an angle to attack, when Bane jumped , knocking it off of me.
Bane struck like a wild animal(which he was) sharpened fangs tearing chunks from the creature. He had a taste of blood now and he was after all the creatures. Soon they were defeated and Tom, jumped from the wagon with his doctoring kit.
Antiseptic and bandage, I was ready to go. Hero had a long gash down the side of his face, and I could tell the antiseptic burnt. He bit his lip to keep from yelping, and I tried not to smile. Tom said it would probably scar and Hero frowned at that, but me, I loved that man so much he always looked good.
The dark shadow that had come over me was gone now, so I thought the danger was over. Upon the road we moved again, except for a wagon going west, we were moving east. Through the night we traveled and by morning we were nearing our little town.
And that got me to thinking, our town needed a name. Though I would travel near and far, I would always return. This was where I had awakened after the cleansing, this is where I came back after the farm, and this is where I came after the cave.
Even now I felt like I was coming home.
Chapter 36
The wolves were baying, but not an angry bay. They knew it was us. They were welcoming us back home.
There was a lot of activity going on. Curtis was tending the garden, Ellie was putting food on the table, and Mark, along with a man I did not know his name were building a box inside the ground.
The wagon came to a stop and everyone ran to greet us. I felt so alive, so loved. I introduced Tom, Adam , and Johnny to the towns folk. Morris, Adam, and Johnny were close to the same age, and they were chattering up a storm. When Morris discovered the animals he was so excited. he was the animal tender, that was his passion.
Everyone was excited over the animals. Ellie was already thinking of breakfast, fresh eggs and milk for the whole town..
The underground box was actually a cooling box. A side was partitioned off to keep things cool without getting wet, the other side held the water to keep drinks and things cool.The sidewalk had been extended, more wooden chairs had been built, and a small house was started.
Hero and I were informed that it was our house, and when we went on our travels and we returned it would be a place to lay our heads.
Hero and I walked the town hand in hand greeting everyone.Tom, Adam, and Johnny were doing the same. Morris had the animals settled and brought the wolves in. None here feared the wolves anymore for they knew they protected the people of the town.
Elvin ran up to us and Mark was not so far behind.
“Welcome home, Hero and Lady. We have missed you.” Mark handed me a bouquet of flowers. They were not real, but it did not matter, they were beautiful. Thank you Mark, I will treasure them. Elvin spoke,”We hope you do not mind. We settled on a name for the town, but if you do not like it we can change it.
They had grabbed some spray paint from the store and was in the process of painting a sign. New Beginnings; a perfect name. Yes I liked it.
The old woman’s eyes were on me I could feel them. She walked to me and grabbed my hand. Shivers upon my body, and a deep voice echoed my mind. “Cindy, I am coming for you.”
I took a deep breath and ignored it.
I survived the cleansing, God had been good to us. I had a good man, good friends, and I was home. New Beginnings. Yes a perfect name.
© Cynthia Clark
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