shmi skywalker adhered to the jedi code more than anakin ever did

okay that's a very clickbaity title but i was rewatching the phantom menace and i found it so interesting that shmi actually demonstrated non-attachment and adhered to the jedi code with regards to anakin two different times during her brief screentime! i think it's important to emphasize this because shmi was anakin's only parent and primary influence during the early stages of his life. anakin's tendency towards attachment is not a result of shmi's parenting- it's despite it. so let's go through it!

the first instance of shmi's non-attachment occurs when she is presented with the notion of anakin racing on boonta eve in order to help qui-gon and padme. she explicitly says she thinks the racing is "awful" and tells anakin, "i don't want you to race." but she sets her own feelings aside- she lets go of her fear about anakin and prioritizes the greater good. the greater good, in this case, is padme and qui-gon's mission, and its implications for naboo.

shmi recognizes that her fear is not more important than an entire planet: "i may not like it, but he can help you... he was meant to help you," she says. there are also implications that she is listening to the will of the force here, and that she understands this is what anakin was meant to do.

the second instance of her non-attachment occurs when anakin is freed and she is not. she is the one who requests that qui-gon take anakin with him to coruscant to become a jedi. though she is clearly sad to part ways with him, lamenting to qui-gon that "he was in my life for such a short time," she still encourages anakin to go.

here, shmi recognizes that her desire to keep anakin near her is not more important than what is best for anakin. i've written a post here about the fact that shmi struggles to understand anakin's unique status with regards to the force, and that she turns to qui-gon and the jedi for help. shmi knows the jedi can help anakin grow this special part of him that she "can't explain" herself. she also knows that doing this will make anakin happy: she tells anakin that going with qui-gon is a chance to "make your dreams come true."

and she even drops a little nugget of wisdom, straight out of the jedi code, onto anakin. wisdom that anakin will later reject from the mouths of people like obi-wan and yoda, even though it is the exact same thing shmi believes, the exact same thing shmi is shown to have taught him. "you can't stop change, any more than you can stop the suns from setting," she tells anakin. "it is time for you to let go... to let go of me."

it's not a coincidence that shmi's screen time in the phantom menace is exclusively spent adhering to the jedi tenets of love without attachment. shmi is human, and she feels love just as anyone else. she feels scared when anakin is in danger, and she feels sad at the idea of not having him near. but she does not allow this to take precedent over the greater good, whether that is for the planet of naboo or for anakin himself.

that is non-attachment. it is letting go of someone- not because you don't love them, but because you do. and shmi skywalker is the very embodiment of it. when anakin rejects obi-wan's advice about letting go, when he refuses yoda's advice that death is inevitable, he is not just rejecting the jedi's philosophies. he is rejecting shmi's values as well. the further he sinks into attachment, the further he is forsaking his own mother's memory. that's the tragedy.

Alright, let's talk about attachment

I can’t find clear information on when exactly the non-attachment rule was added to the code. It was either soon before or soon after the great sith war. Either way, for the VAST majority of the existence of the Jedi, it wasn’t a thing. Jedi got married and had families for over 20000 years, then added the non-attachment rule, which ultimately led to their destruction. And before anyone tries to tell me I believe they deserved to be genocided, I don’t. I have never actually seen anyone say that, but I see people argue against it constantly, and imply anyone who doesn’t think the Jedi were perfect and blameless thinks that. I don’t think they deserved to die, I think they needed to change. And Yoda says that himself, many times. The Jedi weren’t prepared for the return of the sith, or the war. They had separated from the military 1000 years before, and the galaxy was in relative peace all this time, so the order’s role changed to one that worked very well with their rules. Detachment meant they could be impartial when overseeing political disagreements, lack of possessions meant they would be focused on the mission at hand and not prone to taking bribes, and distancing themselves from the general population meant they were more or less uniform, and could be trusted not to side with someone for personal reasons.

All of this falls apart once they become an army again. Impartiality is a flaw when they have to defend one side at all cost and not even allow themselves to consider compromise. Lack of possessions and attachment to people means they are prone to taking unnecessary risks, because they have nothing to lose, and do things like send 14 year olds into battle, thinking of the “greater good” over the safety of children. And the order being a monolith, with set rules and philosophy distinct from the rest of the population meant the Jedi trusted Dooku long after they should have stopped, because he used to be a Jedi after all, surely he still follows the code.

Now, I am not saying non-attachment is always bad, I think it served a very specific purpose in the order, and to some extent worked for many years. However.

Humans are a social species. Human babies NEED physical contact and affection to develop physically. Children need a stable, strong, and supportive relationship to their caregiver to properly develop psychologically. And after last year I don’t think anyone will argue that adults don't need connection with other people just as much. And not just shallow interactions, but open affection and love. Love of any kind, because claiming that the Jedi only forbid romantic love is just untrue. I think people tend to forget that "Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love." isn’t the actual doctrine, it’s a literal pick up line that Anakin uses on Padme.

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan both get criticized by other Jedi for their entirely platonic attachment to Anakin, and vice versa. Now, humans are the most common species in the galaxy, and in the Jedi order. Many other species are near-human, so it’s safe to assume at least some, if not most of them also need that companionship and affection to develop and live happy and stable lives. I do believe that non-attachment is a valid philosophy and chosen path in life if done carefully and within reason, I just don’t think we have a single major character that actually applies to. And chosen is an important word here. Jedi don’t get much of a choice. I’m not trying to start the baby-stealing debate here. I hear the argument of ‘force sensitives are dangerous if left untrained, and said training should start as early as possible’. I think finding a way to deal with that problem was an insanely complicated decision, and taking children into the temple as young as possible is not a bad solution. I don’t entirely agree with not letting them see their families later, (especially since in legends Obi-Wan was allowed to visit his family, which implies Anakin couldn’t go free his mother specifically because he was already too attached), but the idea is sound. I do also understand that no one is forcing Jedi to stay in the order and they can leave for whatever reason at any time. But that isn’t exactly a free choice either. Leaving the order means leaving the only home you remember, the only people you know to make your own way in the galaxy, and staying with those people means you can never fully love them. It’s a difficult solution to a complicated question, and for the most part, it worked (not always, and not exactly as intended, but I’ll come back to that.) Children grew up in the order, were trained to control themselves and the force, and became Jedi who were impartial, patient, and balanced. But everything falls apart when you introduce someone who wasn’t raised in the temple.

In The Rising Force, 13 year old Obi-Wan had barely been off Coruscant in his life. He describes himself as sheltered and unaware of all the pain in the galaxy, and says it was done on purpose, so younglings wouldn’t have to face the dark side before they were ready for it. But Anakin had seen nothing but darkness, pain and injustice before he joined the order. He was severely traumatized, and while the temple might have had some ways of dealing with trauma and PTSD in adults, they had no experience in treating the same in a child, because their children were kept safe and protected. The idea of letting go of your pain and fear only works if you know you have a safe place to come back to, if you’ve spent the first decade or so of your life in the most protected place in the galaxy. Anakin spent the first decade of his life as a slave. He couldn’t let go of his fear, because fear was what kept him alive. Fear is not irrational if you are constantly in danger, it’s what protects you, keeps you aware of the limits you can push before you get punished. And that mindset doesn’t fade just because you’re out of that situation, especially if your only family, the closest person to you, is still facing that danger every day.

I’ve seen people use every excuse possible to explain why Anakin didn’t see his mother again to avoid blaming the council, including, and I shit you not, “He just didn’t have her comm number”. But to me that seems disingenuous, when we see in his first meeting with the council that they already consider him too attached. It's one of the main reasons they don’t want him to be trained, so it seems logical that they wouldn’t allow him to see her once he became a padawan. I also want to mention that what Yoda says, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Is just… blatant catastrophizing. Right? Like we can all see that the escalation is not rational there at all. Maybe it could apply to something else, but not to a child who just left his mother for the first time in his life and went from a tiny dustball in the middle of nowhere to the most populated planet in the galaxy, and is now being tested by a bunch of old people with the power to decide his future. Obviously he’s afraid, and obviously he’s not dealing with it the way Jedi younglings do. That, in and of itself doesn't doom him to fall. Also what Yoda misses there is that suffering leads to fear. This is a closed loop, and one that has defined Anakin’s entire childhood.

Let’s come back to how the system doesn’t always work. The way I see it, most of the characters we see are attached. Obi-Wan is considered one of the greatest Jedi of his time. Windu describes him as “our most cunning and insightful Master—and our most tenacious”. And yet, he was not insightful enough to look past his love for Anakin, his attachment, and see how close to falling he was. Ahsoka was so attached to Anakin she refused to listen to Maul on Mandalore, refused to even consider the posibility he could fall. She was arguably the person with the best shot at preventing the empire forming at that point, and she loved anakin so much she doomed him and the entire galaxy. Aayla admitted to thinking of Quinlan as her father, and also, apparently in legends had a long relationship with Kit. Even Mace didn’t follow the code when he decided to kill Palpatine, which directly led to his death and the empire. He also indirectly caused the war to start. According to wookiepedia “Windu viewed Dooku as the shatterpoint of the entire Separatist movement, which meant striking Dooku down would theoretically end the imminent clone war before it even began. However, Windu's prior attachments to Dooku clouded his judgment.” I’m not even going to mention Kanan and Ezra, who are obviously family.

So basically everyone is attached and lying about it. How has no one thought that maybe this isn’t the healthiest way to live and tried to change the code? Well, I have a theory, and it’s Yoda. He was 900 years old when he died, and was on the council for the vast majority of his life. I can’t find when exactly he became grand master, but it’s safe to assume he held some degree of power over the entire order for most of a millennium. At the end of TPM he tells Obi-Wan “Confer on you the level of Jedi knight, the council does. But agree with your taking this boy as your padawan learner, I do not.” Then he reverses that decision by himself. So either he has the power to veto the council’s word, or who gets trained is entirely up to him. Either way, not great, considering his lifespan is so much longer than most Jedi, and therefore his approach to life is vastly different. Humans need love and closeness to live. However, while we don’t know much about Yoda’s species, it probably isn’t a social one. You could count all the characters of this species on two (human) hands, and Yoda lived in complete isolation for 20 years on Dagobah, and only went a little bit insane. They are naturally rare, and therefore probably lead solitary lives in nature. Moreover, Yoda outlived every master who trained him, and almost every padawan he trained himself, (there’s a great post about that here) so even if he wasn’t naturally predisposed to non-attachment, he would have had to learn it to deal with all the loss he had to live through over the years.

A lot of people think that Anakin fell because he had attachments, which is not true. He fell because of how his attachments played out and/or ended. The most obvious example being Palpatine, who used Anakin’s trust and friendship to groom him for over a decade and actively undermine Anakin’s trust towards anyone else, especially the order. (more on that here). Obi-Wan refused to take on the role of a father figure that Anakin tried to shove him into, so he turned to someone who did accept it. It’s not Anakin’s fault that it turned out to be the worst person alive, nor can we expect him to notice when he’s known Palpatine since he was a child. Another failure of jedi non-attachment, because a loving parent or guardian would not let their child be used as a bargaining chip when the most powerful politician in the galaxy blackmailed the order into allowing him to meet Anakin regularly, but a distant teacher and detached knight thinking of the greater good might. The other attachments Anakin had were taken from him (Shmi and Ahsoka, the last orchestrated by Palpatine who was fully ready to give her the death penalty to make Anakin more unstable), or he was forced to lie and hide them, compromising his vows as a Jedi (Padme) or refused to choose Anakin over the order/their principles (Obi-Wan, and again Ahsoka, and to some extent Padme, but he’d already fallen then). All these people had every right to make the choices they made, but it wasn’t the act of loving them that made Anakin turn to the dark side, it was how those attachments played out.

I think everyone agrees that Yoda is as detached as a Jedi should, if not can, be, and that didn’t prevent Dooku from falling. We see that explored in more detail with Barriss and Luminara. Luminara is detached and distant, she’s fond of Barriss, but their relationship is not familial in the slightest, and she repeatedly shows her willingness to put the greater good and the mission before Barriss’ safety and even life. And yet Barriss still falls. A complex combination of events and choices caused each of those characters to fall, not the simple presence or absence of attachment.

And lastly, just as attachment can make you unstable if your relationship with that person is unstable, it can also make you stronger. There is a reason Anakin and Obi-Wan were the face of the army. Not only did their obvious attachment (the strongest between two jedi we are shown) make them more relatable to the public, but they, when working as a team, are shown repeatedly to be more or less undefeatable. They spend half of aotc flinging themselves off great heights because they know the other will be there to catch them. They know from years of experience that they have backup and they know each other well enough (or force bond communicate) that they can trust the other will be where he needs to be to help/save them. Contrast that to how Windu and Palpatine fight in rots once the window breaks- very carefully, clearly holding back to keep themselves safe. Neither of them has backup until Anakin arrives, but until the last second they can't be sure which one he will choose. Anakin and Obi-Wan fight the same way on Mustafar, especially when balancing on that thin bridge. No acrobatics, swinging arms to keep balance, keeping their distance, being almost uncharacteristically careful compared to how they treated heights in aotc, in tcw, and on the invisible hand in rots, because they both know the other won't catch them if they fall this time.

Kreia? ;)

You HAD to ask for the most complicated character imaginable XD! Also one of the most interesting characters (in my opinion).

First impression

Mystic hag lady who I'm veeery suspicious about since she freaking spoke to a Sith weirdo like she knew him. Also, why are you are never happy with what I do, Kreia? What do you want from me? Though I did think she was very interesting character to listen to (her voice actress is awesome). I just HAD to know what her deal was.

Impression now

Kreia is “a cynic” and an “unreliable narrator.” What she tells the Exile should be taken with a massive grain of salt since she has ulterior motives and is manipulating you the entire game. 

Also, I find her to be evil, but not in the “mwhahaha” Sith fashion, but in a “I know how to manipulate you without you even knowing about it.” Like Palpatine. That sort of evil, I find, is way more interesting and terrifying. And I love it. 

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss basically. 

Favorite moment

When she saves the Exile from being killed by the Jedi Council. All of her lines during this scene are quotable. Also, just all the moments when she dunks on Atton. Very entertaining.

Idea for a story

I’d love to write a character piece! I wrote a very short piece already on how she became Revan’s first Master. I didn’t go too in-depth with what their actual master-student relationship was like and I’d love to write that (it wasn’t all sunshine and daisies).

Unpopular opinion

Yeah...I have a lot of unpopular opinions when it comes to Kreia XD! Essay incoming.

I don’t really agree with her philosophy. I interpret the Force as a literal “force of nature.” It doesn’t care about the “mortals” enough to care if it helps or destroys. Mortals have free will to chose what to use the Force for...and it’s that free will that causes conflict, not the Force. Basically, if human nature didn’t suck, the Force wouldn’t be a problem. 

I can see how Kreia came to her conclusion about the Force being the source of conflict in the galaxy though since some “forces of nature” like earthquakes, kill many people and cause conflict. But her conclusion is to then to destroy the Force which is…worse. Sure, nature could be “evil” yet it could also be beneficial. An earthquake could destroy your town…and it would be nice to put an end to earthquakes…but without earthquakes, the tectonic plates stop moving and no mountains….yeah, Earth is dead. 

I think Kreia couldn’t stand that she failed. She blamed the Force because if it wasn’t the Force, if she had free will, then her failures were her own. Her ego couldn’t let her take any responsibility for her actions. Kreia would rather risk having the galaxy die without the Force then admit she failed.

This really makes me look like I hate Kreia but I don’t XD! I love her character, I think she’s fascinating. Just...I think she’s flawed. Not 100% correct on everything.

Favorite relationship

Atton x Kreia, enemies to lovers, let’s go. 

“You fool,” Kreia says, seductively.

......I’m sorry, I’m joking - I swear XD! Well, I really like the master-student relationship between her and the Exile even if it is toxic lol. I go for female Exile most of the time and I headcanon that the Exile is similar to Kreia (she’s very cynical because of the war). So, Kreia sort of represents something the Exile could become if she allows her grief to fester.

Favorite headcanon

Other than the idea that Kreia was Arren Kae, I like to imagine that she had very high-expectations when it came to teaching Revan (who was labeled a genius - ah, the “gifted kid” syndrome). 

To me, Kreia was like those parents who only pay attention to their child if they get “As” and then they force them to take piano lessons on top of that because they want a prodigy child. Then when their child becomes a prodigy, they feel like it was because of them. Oh, and if their child fails, well, it wasn’t their fault. Basically...I think Kreia was a bit of a narcissist. She is the main reason why my Revan became so curious and jumped from master to master. He wanted to impress Kreia so much that he would have read the entire archives to get her attention. Of course...that attention was rarely received :(

Overall, Kreia really shouldn’t have been a teacher/mother figure lol. 

One more thing: please spare me this “all Sith are evil and self-serving and only care about themselves” nonsense. In the pre-Darth Bane era that’s ridiculous, as much as it is to say all Jedi are good.  This is the Sith code. There's nothing here about being selfish, racist or not caring about others. Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me. It’s notable that there seems to be some leave in Sith society for Sith to interpret the Code as they will - there is a scene in the Inquisitor story where Ashara Zavros is frustrated with that lack of a unified philosophy. This isn’t “self serving,” in real-world religions there are often those who question, study and interpret differently.  This is the Jedi code. There's nothing here about being selfless, being nice or caring for others. There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force

From what is said, there’s less leave for Jedi to question and interpret the Code as they will, and more of a unified message. We see this in major world religions too.  Neither one is wrong.  We meet plenty of Sith who are horrible people, but the stories also show us numerous examples of Sith busting their asses to protect the Empire or the galaxy.

- Satele Shan accuses Scourge of helping defeat Vitiate for "selfish reasons." She never gives any indication what these reasons are, of course. Scourge sacrificed everything to help defeat Vitiate. He had a position of extreme power in the Empire - not even the Dark Council could stop him, and he answered only to Vitiate. He gave that up to help the Jedi that wanted his people dead, made himself a traitor to his own faction, and was risking his own immortality. That doesn't seem at all selfish to me.   - Darth Marr volunteers his own resources defeat Revan in a Coalition with the Republic to save the galaxy. He later leads another coalition into Wild Space with the same goal. And when the ship goes down he doesn’t save his own ass, he’s running around literally trying to put out the fires himself.     - Lana Beniko risks her neck multiple times to save the Empire and later to save the Alliance, to the point of literally jumping in front of the player to take a blaster shot in the stomach. There are several occasions in KOTFE and KOTET where she offers to sacrifice herself so the PC can get away.  -  The Sith Empire led by Acina puts themselves on the line to support the Alliance against Zakuul, when they could have easily sat back like the Republic. Defying Zakuul could have brought the Eternal Fleet down on their heads, and they did it anyway.   - Khem Val, while technically not a Sith but still 'dark sided' literally sacrfices himself to stop Darth Zash from hollowing out the Sith Inquisitor and taking their body. If the Inquisitor died, he would have been free.   - Darth Silthar on Tatooine doesn't send his men out into the dangerous field, he does it himself, and uses his last breath to utter a warning to the PC.   - When the Sith Empire realizes that releasing the Dread Masters was actually a very, VERY bad idea, they clean up their own mess and devote their own troops to it. The Sith commander on Oricon is on the surface, doing everything he can to shield everyone else, even at his own expense.   So where is this "all Sith are selfish and care only for themselves" thing coming from? Maybe the answer isn't in the Sith, but with the Jedi and how they operate.   The Jedi serve the Republic for life. In SWTOR you are told that they serve the Republic even if they don't agree. They are not given a choice. In the newest update there is talk from General Daerunn of tracking down Jedi and making them come back to fight for the Republic even if they don't want to. The Jedis' duty is to serve, without question. The Sixth Line even puts this ethos into their modified code: There is no contemplation, but duty. The Jedi hammer this philosophy into their recruits from a young age: they are there to serve unquestionably. The Jedi's duty is to do the Republic's bidding. They are expected to forego love, relationships, families or their own personal lives to fulfill this mandate, and it is seen as noble and good.   What about anyone who doesn't want to do that? What about anyone who wants to have some life of their own? Easy! You make emotions and dissent "the dark side." You make the dark side evil. You make it a Very Bad Thing for a Force sensitive to have any other goal in life than to unquestioningly serve their government. There's no other way to preserve the status quo of the Jedi as the Republic's eternal unpaid servants. If they go off and do what they want, or get to think about it, they might leave!   Hammering this point home, the Jedi consider any other Force creed to be dark-sided, which isn't unlike some evangelical religions that think that they are the only ones going to Heaven. For example, there are a few exchanges in the Jedi class stories where Satele makes this claim about the Voss. The Voss, who use their Force sensitives to heal others through self-sacrifice in the Shrine of Healing (watch the Sith Warrior story - the Mystic takes her own strength and gives it to a sick person, and it's painful enough to make her cry), have precognitive visions and interpret them to help their people. There really doesn't seem much that is evil about that.  Satele Shan says nothing about the Voss's practice of apartheid against the Gormak, but she's concerned about their use of the Force.  And the Jedi Consular and Sith Warrior are asked to make the exact same sacrifice on Voss- to give their own strength to heal the sick in order to progress their mission somehow. Each can volunteer a companion to go in their place. But only for the Sith Warrior is that seen as dark sided and evil. Only for the Jedi Consular is it seen as selfless for the PC to step up on their own, when they are doing the exact same thing. 

Point being, claiming that every action taken by a Sith is for their own benefit is as silly as saying that every action taken by a Jedi is out of the goodness of their own heart or free will. 

I really wanna know ALL your opinions on all the 'problematic' characters like Maul and Anakin but I'm aware that some of it might be controversial in fandom and I don't wanna put you in that position. Could you say whatever you feel safe to say about any of the characters you feel are portrayed as evil and did bad things but were actually just let down by their systems? Like Saw and Slick and them, too? Just a quick opinion point thing would be fine! Or you can ignore this, that's fine, too!

I’ve talked about Saw here—and I’m 100% a Saw fan. I can’t get pass how he gets hate for doing what other characters have done, just because Mon Mothma was introduced as a moral compass. But need I remind everyone that Mon Mothma abandoned the Ghost and Rebels crew last minute, and that Saw’s methods/mindset was proven effective.

Not all of them, of course. I don’t stand behind Saw killing civilians, but the Republic did the exact same thing? Often endangered citizens in the middle of their battles. I mean, that’s what happened to Trace and Rafa’s parents. In general, Saw is often demonized for what others have done before him. Never mind the fact that his character’s writing as the deranged, evil black radical is an old and tired and very racist stereotype. And how dare Mon Mothma speak when she did nothing about the literal army of slaves. Like she has no right to speak on Saw’s methods when the clone army was the most unethical bs ever. 

Slick—it’s been ages since I’ve watched Slick’s episodes. I agree with what he was wanting to do, but killing his brothers in the process while not giving them a choice? I disagreed with that. But, Slick also had little to no options, and Ventress was what he assumed to be his way out for he and his brothers. I don’t fault Slick for making a bad decision when the Republic and the Jedi presented him with none. There is clearly an issue of the Jedi enslaving the clones, as stated by Slick and as debated by no one XD so it’s an issue. I wouldn’t have cared of his methods only endangered Anakin and Obi-Wan, but they didn’t. They endangered everyone. 

(Also, a clone willingly killing or revolting against the Jedi and Republic who controlled them is literally a slave rebellion and they would have been completely within their rights to do so.. 

Like of course this is separate from Order 66, so no dead children (which, btw, was done while they were under mind controlled, but yall give Anakin a slap on the wrist for willingly killing the younglings. Make it make sense), but a general uprising against the Jedi and Republic would be...fine and almost expected. )

Slick was caught between a rock and a hard place, and made a choice he felt was helping his brothers but eventually ended up hurting them.

And goodness I wanted to slap Anakin and Obi-Wan where they stood. I always noticed the emphasis on their blue eyes. That was some white devil bs right there. The colonizer jumped right out.  

Regardless Slick and Saw are close to my hearts because they are very similar. They do extreme BS because extreme BS gets shit done, at least to them. 

And btw, I loved Saw as a mentor to Ezra. People tend to forget that he was, and Ezra learned a lot of tactics from Saw, or at least learned a new philosophy. 

Different anon from before: to me, englishlady seems like a classic case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She’s got this delusion that her opinion is God’s Word, that she’s this perfect little darling who can do no wrong, and the rest of the world aren’t even real people, just two separate hive minds who either agree with her or “hate her for no reason.” She really could benefit from therapy, but she deflects by saying that calling her out on her bullshit is invalidating her disorder.

i don't like to diagnose people and certainly ones i don't know since that's kind of like the whole 'mental illness can be a factor but isn't the cause of bad actions' thing that i say that she constantly misconstrues. whether she displays certain disorders and delusions, i can't say she has anything for sure because i don't know her, i don't care to know her, i don't care about her issues and obvious projection that she does on to anakin and the jedi and fans on tumblr. i ain't paid at all and even if i were i'd just nod and pretend to care lmao. it's really just a classic case of white privilege and a big victim complex that you usually see online imo

i will say, however, that the jedi *do* have a lot of psychotherapeutic practices and she eschews any mentions of that. jedi and their beliefs are highly reflective and influenced by eastern religions and philosophies and she has stated 'real life is not as simple as 'letting go' especially when you have psychological trauma' (direct quote from her). she has mocked meditation and other buddhist practices which is wild to me because meditation and 'mindfulness-based' therapy is literally a part of cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, and just general.... therapy??? this is stuff that they literally use in *actual therapy*. there is a LOT of western therapy practices that are directly FROM buddhism and other eastern philosophies lmao like..... if she had actual therapy would she just tell her doctor they're being abusive when they tell her to reflect on her actions???

meditation doesn't work for everyone. it doesn't work for me lmao. but acting like the jedi are evil and did nothing for anakin when they were p much acting exactly like modern therapists........ is so fucking silly. 'be mindful of your feelings', 'you must accept that change happens', ‘live in the moment’, 'hate leads to suffering', these are all things therapists would tell you but in their own psychology doctor way lmao like i know it sucks having to look at how you're feeling and analysing it and realise that your actions might hurt others but that's literally what needs to happen - and like. crying about how jedi don't have therapy? shows that you don't really know.....??? therapy??? maybe it didn't work for anakin but you have to be honest with your doctor *and yourself* for therapy to work and he sure as shit was not honest and i think the projection with his stans is real as hell

Ventress/Maul: A Story of Surviving Genocide, the Guidance of Ancestors, & Love After Loss. [My Headcanon & Potential Story Ideas]

Okay, so my brain has recently exploded with ideas for a potential story. And, I feel like jotting it down. Warning, LONG post ahead.

On Wookiepedia, I read about the Sith being an alien species that originated on Korriban. What if, back in ancient times, The Sith were drawn to Dathomir because of it’s natural resonance with the darkside? And so, they created a city on Dathomir and thus the Nightsister coven was born.  

In my story I’m thinking of implementing some Taoists philosophy (since I find it so fascinating). 

So, in my story, the Ancient Sith’s usage of the Darkside isn’t “evil”. It’s more-so along the lines of how Taoists view darkness.  In Taoism darkness isn’t evil and light isn’t good. They’re not separated, they’re two different manifestations of the same reality. 

“ Whereas the idea of darkness in strains of Western thought can sometimes be coupled with evil, in the Tao the idea of darkness is meant to express the indiscernibility of the mysteries of life. To peer into the murk of humanity and to search for patterns and truths might not be impossible, but it requires a great patience and tempered expectations. 

In this way indiscernibility, and so darkness and mystery, are meant to implore curiosity. Life is wonderous, try to see it for what it is for yourself and so you can begin to experience Tao.” -- Darkness and Mysterious Depth in the Tao

In the Taoist tradition, there’s a practice called “Dark Meditation”:

“In the Darkness, our mind and soul begin to wander freely in the vast realms of psychic and spiritual experience. When you enter this primordial state you are reunited with the true self and divinity within. You literally ‘conduct’ the universal energy. You may see into the past and future, understand the true meaning of existence, and begin to understand the order of things. You return to the womb, the cocoon of our material structure and Nature’s original Darkness.” -- Ancient Taoist Darkness Experience

 In my story the Dark side of the force is viewed in the same way by the Ancient Sith and the original Nightsisters coven.

Over time this information is lost and the Dark Side of the Force becomes corrupted. It became a way of power and destruction.  

Many with Sith heritage are born with a natural predisposition to the Dark Side of the force. All of them fall to evil because they are without knowledge of who they truly are, who their ancestors were, and what the Dark Side really is.

This is where Ventress and Maul come in. 

In canon, Maul and Ventress both die. However, in my story, Dooku shoots force lightening at Ventress instead of Vos.

 Vos jumps in front of her and saves her life. Dooku gets away and Vos dies in her arms.

Grief stricken, Ventress takes her ship and flies into the uncharted regions of the galaxy. For years she wanders aimlessly and taking Bounty Hunter jobs to pay for food and maintenance on her ship. At night, she meditates to quell her sorrow and anxiety. It helps only a little.

One night, through meditation, she accidentally encounters her ancestors and learns of the true nature of the Nightsisters and the Darkside of the Force.

Ventress’s ancestors have given her the task of rebuilding the coven. They say that Talzin’s lust for power caused her to turn from the old ways.

They task Ventress with rebuilding the coven and returning the Nightsisters to the Old Ways. The division between Nightsisters and Nightbrothers was implemented by Talzin’s due to her desire for power and control. Ancestors tell her to re-instate their coexistence.

Her Ancestors tell her that a small number Nightsisters/Brothers are still alive but scattered around the galaxy. Some were stolen from their mothers and others went into hiding.

With their help Ventress creates a holocron and uses it to seek out the other stranded Nightsisters.

She meets Merrin, whose traveling with Cal (both have just defeated Malicos). Merrin agrees to go with Ventress and Cal, whose in love with Merrin, offers to help.

Order 66 has been instated and all force sensitives either must be captured and turned into weapons for the Empire or killed.

The Inquisitors discover Merrin, Cal, and Ventress and are in hot pursuit.

And when does Maul come in? I’m getting to that.

In meditation Ventress astral projects and discovers, by accident, a place outside of the physical realm called “the Place of Lost Souls”. Jedi and Sith who have gone before exist there trapped between life and death. There, she sees Maul. 

Recognizing him as a Nightbrother she goes to him. Throughout their journey around the galaxy, when Ventress meditates, they have great conversations. They discover that they can relate on many things.

Their connection becomes so strong that Maul can manifest in her dreams and her daydreams.

Ventress and Maul continue to talk and become greatly intrigued with one another. She tells Maul of her quest. He wants to aide them but laments because he has passed on.

Ventress asks the ancestors if there was a way to bring people back from the “Place of Lost Souls”.

Ventress, with the help of her Ancestors, creates a new spell that can resurrect a person in the Place of Lost Souls. But it only works for those who have a physical tether to the earth.

Ventress, along with Merrin, find where Maul’s body is buried. They go to Tattooine and find his grave and then use the spell and bring Maul back.

 The spell took a lot of power and almost drained them of all their life energy. It knocked them out for several days (Cal takes care of them).

The spell worked and Maul is back from the Place of Lost Souls.  But his mechanic legs don’t work because they’ve been mostly scavenged by Jawas.

Ventress creates another spell, along with her Ancestors help, that can manipulate the force energy within your very cells.  

She uses the spell on his body but only in short spurts because the magic makes her physically ill to the point of retching. It drains a lot of her life energy. Little by little she reforms his bones, muscles, skin, and nerves until he has fully formed legs.

Maul aids them in their quest to rebuild the Nightsister Coven and find the lost Nighsisters and Brothers.

Self indulgent Star Wars/ His Dark Materials AU thoughts

Since Star Wars names are weird I won’t be following the canon HDM daemon naming conventions.

Daemons:

-Anakin’s daemon is a Golden eagle named Bellator (meaning warrior in Latin.) two hotheaded, independent parts of an impulsive whole, they don’t always get along. But when they’re able to stop bickering, they make an unstoppable team.

(Also bellator can be scary af, and represents Anakin’s aggressive side.)

-Padmé’s Daemon is a snow white deer named Japor. Like her, her daemon is tough but kind, and definitely turns heads.

-Independant and wise, Obi wan’s daemon is a raven named Valiant (Val for short). He has a very good relationship with her; they’re best friends.

-Luke’s settles as a mountain goat, sturdy and adaptable like him. I think her name would binaria.

-Leia’s settles as a badger named Alderaan.

-Han’s is a fennec Fox named Treband.

-Mace windu’s is a grey parrot, not sure what her name would be.

-Ahsoka’s daemon is a snowy owl, and her daemon is the same gender as her bc she’s gay. Is it lame to say her name would be fulcrum?

-palpatine’s daemon is something nasty like a slug.

-I love the sequel trio but too lazy to fit them into this AU so deal with it.

Lore:

-Shmi was severed from her daemon when Anakin was young by the black market daemon merchants. As a result, she and Anakin live as outcasts of society, until shmi eventually dies from the heartbreak of living without her daemon.

-Anakin tracks down those responsible for severing his mother’s daemon and kills them one by one to take vengeance. One of the black market daemon merchants happened to be connected to a Magisterium authority, and Anakin’s act gets found out. However, the Magisterium’s leader , Palpatine, is impressed with how skillfully he carried out the executions and presents Anakin with a proposition: his crime will go unpunished, if he agrees to work for the magisterium. Anakin agrees, though he secretly plans to overthrow the magisterium. He hates the magisterium’s child-cutting experiments because of what happened with his mother, but he agrees to take on the position of overseeing them because he believes it is the only way to become powerful enough to take the Magisterium down.

-along the way, he meets Heretic! Padmé, who is secretly orchestrating plans to lead a rebellion against the Magisterium. She isn’t a scientist like asriel, but she knows how to pull strings to get funding for scientific investigations. Both powerful figures in this society, (like coulter and asriel) Anakin and padmé are instantly attracted to each other, and they have a fling.

-However, Padmé doesn’t know exactly how high up Anakin is in the magisterium, and what his role is. When she finds out that he is involved with the child-cutting- even after hearing the whole story- she hides that she is pregnant and cuts off contact with him. They have a lovers to enemies relationship inspired by Marisa and Asriel and it's literally the sexiest thing imaginable

-Heretic! Padme brings her and Anakin’s children, when they are born, to Jordan College, and leaves them in the care of the scholars there, who she is good friends with. She believes they will be safer if she does not raise them, as her heretical resistance puts a target on her back.

-The members of the Jedi Council are jordan scholars. Yoda is the Master of Jordan. Mace Windu teaches military strategy, Obi Wan teaches an impressive variety of subjects ranging from philosophy to astronomy to fencing. (Yes, fencing. He runs the fencing club, to the surprise of everyone who joins the club on a whim.) Oh, also, Bail and Breha work there and teach politics

-Luke and Leia are raised by obi wan, who shares knowledge with them. Instead of being force sensitive, they can read the aleithiometer. They live at Jordan college, and make its hallways their playground like Lyra.

-Padmé visits them often and tells them stories of the rebellion she’s building, they idolize her and hope their daemons settle like hers.

-Han Solo is an orphan child the same age as Luke and Leia who they are good friends with. When he’s taken by the child cutters, they have to enlist their mother to help to get him back, and she lets it slip that their father works for the general oblation board.

-ever altruistic Luke is convinced that there is "good in him" and that together him, Leia, Obi wan and padmé can help bring him back from the Magisterium.

-Ahsoka is an aeronaut. Asajj Ventress is a witch.

-no I do not take constructive criticism. I am simply right.

@gffa

replied to your post

“@gffa replied to your post “I read Wild Space on a friend’s...”

I hear you, sometimes people can agree on interpretations, but various other things outweigh them for some and not for others.  For me, when I think of Wild Space, I think of the sparring match with Obi-Wan and Anakin, which sends me into orbit for how amazing it was, I think of Anakin's mind "gibbering with fear" when Obi-Wan is hurt, I think of the parallels of how Padme just KNOWS Anakin is alive, then Anakin just KNOWS Obi-Wan is alive, I think of all those quotable moments and that's what made it my favorite SW book, even when I readily agree that I don't think the book earned its ending, as well as it felt like two different books half-stitched together. Btw, you not caring for Wild Space doesn't offend me in the slightest, you have your reasons and I think I actually by and large really agree, just that I'm Real Easy for that other stuff, so I often recommend the book. But WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE for one really good Obi-Wan book. I mean, fic authors have achieved it, so I know it's not just me being overly critical of anyone daring to touch my precious. ^_~

Yeah, we all just give different weight to different things and I’m glad that you can get something out of it! I’m not condemning the books wholesale, just...explaining why they didn’t work for me. I know there’s certainly stuff that I like that I’m sure others wouldn’t. I mean, I really liked Shatterpoint for its exploration of Jedi (or at least Mace Windu’s) philosophy regarding the dark side and why they do what they do (also just Mace being a badass), but I could also see where people might find it a bit too bleak and brutal. It’s hard to make recommendations sometimes because everyone has different tastes, and I can only go off of what I enjoyed or didn’t.

Hilariously, the author was pretty adamant about how OMG SHE WOULD NEVER WRITE OBI-WAN AND BAIL AS GAY (because fandom was like, "Whoa, this book is Really Gay."), meanwhile, my reaction was, "wait, she thinks THAT'S the pairing that's really gay? when Anakin is literally like, 'I wish we could show him love' and 'wringing wet and blowing hard' after Obi-Wan just smacked him on the ass?  And it's BAIL she thinks is who she's making Obi-Wan have chemistry with??" which makes me laugh TO THIS DAY. 

Seriously‽ I’m not one to read shipping into everything and even I thought that the whole book came across as someone who was finding every way to work around the fact that she couldn’t make her ships canon, because pretty much every combination of Padmé, Bail, Obi-Wan, and Anakin (except for Bail and Anakin, they didn’t really interact in Wild Space) had implications and insinuations of some kind.

JUST SEEN THE TRAILER- TIME TO BREAK IT DOWN!!

So my brain refused to pay attention to both audio and visual at once with this, so my break-down is first with the dialogue we hear (which is the first thing that kept drawing my attention), and then with what we actually see.

DIALOGUE:

-Ok, who the fuck is that talking at the front end?? I *think* it might be Poe? Because it matches the pitch and tone of Oscar’s voice when he’s talking to 3PO, HOWEVER--- -”Good people will fight if we lead them!” jesus fuck that sounds like Adam??? It sounds like Adam. His voice DOES pitch up quite a bit in passionate moments- see TFA’s forest fight. It sounds like his same voice there here.

-”People keep telling me they know me. No one does.” SAME, GIRL, SAME. “But I do,” a very SOAKED Kylo Ren says as he emerges from the wave to confront this off-the-rails prodigal! GO GET HER, BBY!!!

-”And now, your coming together....is your undoing.” You know what’s fuckin weird here? Palpy doesn’t even really sound happy about it?? Like he’s almost...sad??? What even??? What is going on here???

-heart-string pulling like from 3PO was UNCALLED FOR, JJ. )X

-”Confronting fear...it’s the destiny of a Jedi!” says the guy who came from a LONG LINE of Jedi who ran away lmfao. Ok, Luke, ok....

-Carrie’s voice as the last voice in the trailer? Yes, thank you, I have been fed.

VISUAL:

-Rey tossing down Luke’s old training visor- so, we’re training. Rey’s working hard, but her training transitions right into what she’s done her entire life- scaling derelict ships for parts. Why do all new things always lead back to the old, I’m sure she wonders? The look on her face reads exasperation. She’s DONE this before- wasn’t that old life supposed to stop?

-Lando seems to become a rallying point for the fractured and beaten resistance. <3

-The kids (Finn, Poe, and Rose) go on adventures, through jungles and deserts! The old sand yacht seems to make a reappearance- do we go back to Tatooine? The fuckin...shitty epicenter of the whole skywalker lineage? What are they there to look for, I wonder, if so?

-Rey looks....downright angry on the downed death star (are we agreeing that’s what it is?) when Kylo appears, and Kylo, as the last trailer snippet showed us, really seems to have his head on straighter this time- he’s serious, but he looks VERY collected- he knows what his business with Rey is, and he is (deathly) calm about fulfilling it- whatever that might be!

-The iceberg island looks like something out of Farscape’s “Unrealized Realities” episode. In that episode, the iceberg was an ephemeral construct created by dimension-jumping beings to steady and sustain the show’s hero to figure out just *why* he wanted to go home so bad- and why he wanted to use something that could easily be turned into a galaxy-destroying super weapon to do it. So that iceberg, which was a stepping stone not just through TIME but DIMENSIONS (unrealized realities- the what-could-have-beens in every single instance of every being’s existence) is giving me serious “Unrealized Realities” vibes, which....well, it might fit into the theme of all this. If you want some crazy science-philosophy downloaded into your brain, please check out that episode.

-that’s the fucking game of thrones throne- JJ whyyyyyyyyy

-that imperial star destroyer looks like it is LITERALLY coming out of the ice- has it been hiding all this time?!!!

-The falcon clearly has plenty of friends- I think the resistance is probably OK.

-Kylo and Rey’s clash in the splash looks more passioned than deadly. It’s like when you’re really REALLY upset and you smack a pillow a bunch- are you really out to damage your fluff or are you just hitting it because you don’t know what else to do? That’s what those sword swipes look like to me.

-ALSO ALL THOSE STRIKES ARE ON REY- THAT’S KYLO ON THE DEFENSIVE, HE’S NOT ATTACKING HE’S BLOCKING HER STRIKES.

-At least the resistance friends look to be on a First Order ship as they shoot down troopers and not some haunted imperial one.

-Carrie, I cry.

-I....is that a pod racing homage? I’m even more convinced it’s tatooine.

-Who is flying that...A-wing? Is that like a resistance A-wing?

-I don’t get the horses. Stop trying to put horses in star wars ok. At least make them slime aliens or something.

-The room where Palpy and Luke and Vader had their infamous showdown and our two children are just standing in it *staring at each other*  I really really cANNOT.

-Finn is suddenly at the clash ‘n splash now, too? Looks like he’s yelling “REY!” like when Kylo carried her off in TFA? In fact that whole scene looks like an echo of that. I wonder what Rey’s reaction will be to it this time- she knows both men much, much better now, and I get the feeling that Finn’s not gonna be the type to understand aggressive courtships.

-Rey and Kylo are destroying things together. This is good. But it almost looks like they’re in some weird Cloud City?? I slowed down the trailer to stop on that frame and the thing they’re destroying looks almost like some sort of decoy puppet- it’s got a head and the shape of a body under a cloak. Could it just be some avatar of Palpy or something? Or actually him himself? Would that be too much to give away in a trailer? lol. What kind of Jedi/Sith tech can we find that might fit the description of an animated avatar to work on one’s behalf at a safe distance? I’m super into this idea now. Also, Rey is holding a knife now- a new weapon!! It doesn’t seem like destroying that thing was much of a challenge for them either, and Kylo still has his mask on, so perhaps this is at an early part of the movie before he loosens up a bit more?

-fuuuuuuckin star destroyer o’clock!! D:

-Something’s reflecting off of Kylo’s face here. Is some sort of old holovid playing? What is he watching? What is he being shown?? He looks almost...hurt. Caught off guard by whatever it is he sees!! :O

-This bit with Rey almost looks like the item in the top left corner could be Vader’s mask, but I think it’s just that fuckin discount iron throne palpy bought at the wrap auction. Because standing in front of it in a black cloak is probably whatever husk of the former Emperor is left...

-Rey looks emotional in this closeup. Is this where she sees her darksider self? She seems sadly accepting of whatever it is she’s looking at, and that would fit the bill- “Nobody really knows me” and here she is confronted with the Dark truth she’s never actually vocalized. Niiiiice. This is why Kylo knows you, baby!! <3

-The last three shots of this trailer are of Kylo and Rey, and AT LEAST TWICE this was edited to show Kylo and Rey pointed towards each other shot-wise. None of it was aggressive, all of it was weepy begrudging. And I, personally, can work with that.

God speed, Space Babies!!!! I am SO ready for December!!!!

Fictober 2019: #7

STARRING: Theron Shan and his bad decisions... Part 2!

PART 1 FOUND HERE: [X]

This one goes out to the same infamous trio: @sunsetofdoom @doomhamster @fluffynexu

________________________

“My point? What an unfortunate choice of words, but I believe, this point will do.”

“That’s a terrible pun…” Theron winced as she approached.

“Now you’re just being facetious,” the Gilded Lady tutted before sliding the needle into his neck.

Theron tensed as he felt something hot pour into his veins. The energy field protecting his implants shorted out along with the rest of the cybernetics. He blinked, disoriented as he lost all functionality for the first time in years.

A tall blond officer with lieutenant bars on his chest walked into the cell. Theron tried to crane his neck to get a better look, but came to find that he was paralyzed. Not only were his implants disabled, but he was also unable to move.

“You were followed, Lady,” the lieutenant stated in flat accusation, “how many others know you are here.”

“A syndicate grunt got lucky… or unlucky. You must understand, there are those who would kill for our… business relationship. But more to the point, the senator’s son died in your custody,” she replied setting the needle back down on the metal tray.

“We didn’t really know he was the senator’s son, now did we? The lads had their fun and when he didn’t move they just assumed he was sleeping it off,” the officer scoffed as he gave Theron a once over.

“I saw his body. He does not make a pretty corpse. You understand, this will certainly half the price,” she said the frown evident in her voice.

“How can you tell, that thing was just a mass of tentacles to begin with.”

The masked woman seemed to ignore the xenophobia as she glanced over Theron’s belongings. “Box the remains. They will have to do. My associate and I will take our little interloper.”

“No. I can’t allow that. He’s been detained, he knows our security protocols. If I release him, he could become a liability. A liability I can ill-afford with just a measly fifty thousand credits this transaction will get me.”

“Lt. Taylor are you negotiating? An imperial with business acumen, color me impressed. Very well, you may have the full hundred for your troubles.”

The man paused as though to demand more but then the tall silent Sith caught his eye and he thought better of it. Shrewdness was better than greed if he wished to remain alive.

“Thank you. Always a pleasure,” he said with an oily grin.

Theron heard the straps come undone and the massive sith picked him up like a sack of jogan fruit. The conversation he overheard only brought more questions than answers. He was dropped onto a ship’s medical bed and he had a nice long stare at the ceiling overhead. Now that he was captive and literally immobilized, he could think about all the ways this had been a stupid idea.

Usually when he was captured or cornered his philosophy was to keep talking, something that was incredibly difficult now that he was a) paralyzed and b) without an audience. Still, he was alive. This meant she didn’t intend to kill him, not right away anyway. He powered through the pain and focused on his assets.

Intel. Right. Information. What are the angles?

She seems to be a broker. Perhaps force sensitive, perhaps not. The way she interacted with the Imps made him guess it was more of a business transaction. Not Sith. A Sith would have barked orders and be done with it. A new syndicate perhaps?

He heard the engines rumbling as they prepared for departure.

“Theron Shan…” The Lady was back. “Well isn’t this just a mess you’ve made for yourself. You know if you hadn’t attempted to sabotage my operation, I might have made it in time to collect the boy when he was still alive. A delay that will cost me about five million credits.”

She stood over him and seemed to study his face before reaching out to touch his temple. Something metallic flashed in her grip and he braced himself for pain.

“Hold on to that… thought…”

A spark of electricity jolted through him and he flinched. The realization that his paralysis had been removed registered and he immediately tried to lunge at her.

“Sit. Down.”

The order seemed to burn into his implants and he obeyed. An override virus. She had installed an override virus.

“You… what did you do…” he demanded through gritted teeth.

“Insurance. Mr. Shan. You cost me a great deal of credits and you’re going to work off that debt. Consider it gratitude for having saved your life. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Lady, if that is your real name, I find your definition of gratitude questionable at best.”

“I urge you to reconsider,” she replied as she poked his forehead.

“No, and that’s final,” he hissed defiantly.

The blank gold stare of the mask looked back at him before she raised a controller and pressed the button. He was expecting pain. Perhaps electrocution, or a scalding sensation, but nothing could have prepared him for the flood of pleasure that surged through him. He doubled over and moaned.

“There’s more than one way to get a return on my investment. I imagine you would be very popular in a Hutt’s harem,” she replied.

Theron tried to use his Jedi training to deflect the sensations but he was simply unprepared for their intensity. He writhed and gasped on the medical bed until finally she shut off the override. He continued twitching in the aftermath, his pants uncomfortably tight and his face scarlet from embarrassment. Perhaps Jonas Balkar was right, he needed to get laid more often. Maybe then he wouldn’t have reacted so quickly to a simple pleasure slave override.

Calmly, the Gilded Lady tipped his chin up to look into his olive-green eyes.

“Like I said, there are many ways so why don’t you tell me about Reaver Station instead?”

TO BE CONTINUED! 

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Original Fictober Promp List HERE!

I played Udesla through Pubside SWtOR: Onslaught, and did some prior mucking around with dailies/crafting/gearing on the PTS.  Spoilery thoughts under the RM

Overall? I’m really pleased with the story in this expansion. Having mostly had to make my own fun in headcanons/roleplay with friends since, oh, about 2013? Gosh it feels good to say that. Not everything needs to be a world-ending calamity that only you can avert with your world-shaking super specialness. The long, detailed sitreps and briefings slow the pacing down a bit, but they do a great job of emphasizing the coordination/cooperation required to make big military engagements work. I love that you have so many options to solicit the opinions of other characters, check in with them re: how they’re doing, and encourage them or praise their contributions. That’s both an important item in the toolbox for the leadership you’re supposed to have been doing since the Yavin Coalition and fits perfectly into my specific headcanons for Des as an up-and-coming Jedi general.

CHARLES BOYD YOU LYING LIAR. No flirt options for Arn. Which, after playing through the expansion, I think I can be okay with. Arn is voiced/characterized much younger than he looks. I would guess that he’s in his early 20s at the absolute oldest (for comparison, a strictly canonical JK/JC is a minimum of 32). Smol fren, must protecc. Tau continues to be a fave-she may be awkward and unsure of herself off the battlefield, but she’s such a good master. Their situation on Mek-Sha could have easily become a cringy dysfunctional parenting moment or a pointless rehash of Obi-Wan and Anakin’s dynamic BECAUSE DRAMA, and I’m gratified as heck that both the set-up and the resolution were handled in a rational, sensitive way.

Gnost-Dural and Lana talking philosophy before the Corellia FP? Can I have an expansion worth of story that’s just this and stuff like it??? Lana’s “Oogabooga I am a vicious Sith lord fear me” with Arn was super precious.

I haven’t noticed a huge lot of difference in how Vigilance!Guardian plays with the companion retune and gear changes. I’ll keep an eye on that with other classes and as I start tackling different content. I am super psyched about dedicated crafting mat storage, and only a little annoyed about some nickel-and-diming on ability buys. Slicing has changed to mainly give you huge heaps of jawa scrap. I suspect that a lot of the changes to crafting/mission rewards et cetera are attempting to address runaway credit inflation. I agree that that needed to be a thing a long time ago, I hope it works.

I am happy to have Kira and Scourge back and a lot less happy with how it was handled. I guess if we take as given that it was impossible to bring them back during SoR/KotFE/KotET, telling but not showing us that they were tied up with a wacky mission of apocalyptic importance offscreen, and that Satele Shan is also doing something useful (sounds fake) is an annoying but admittedly very vintage SWEU way to handle that. Scourge’s alliance alert made me physically squirm in my seat. The last time I talked to this dude he was threatening to social-engineer my hypothetical future children into Sith. I’ve read all of the datamines where he literally advises you to retain Kira because of her Force sensitivity and Sith background and to sell your other companions into slavery. I do not want to be his friend, and I do not want to hear him declare his devotion while Across the Stars plays in the background. 

Under the cut some angry screaming at Yoda. Usual disclaimer is that I don’t hate the Jedi (how the fuck did this become a disclaimer I feel the need to put up in the Star Wars fandom, I don’t know...), but I am having a lot of strong feelings atm and not all of them positive.

(side note: I normally don’t dwell quite as much on things I don’t like, simply because SW is so vast, there will always be something I’m excited about instead. But in this case, it’s not so much something I don’t like, as... being maybe too invested in characters instead. I am enjoying the book. Some things are great. Other make me sad/angry and I’ve decided to vent here. Still, I have complicated feelings about criticism here on tumblr because I so often see it go to character bashing real quick - not that I think that’s what I’m doing here!, but I know personally I’m not always in the mood to read detailed analysis/criticism from people I don’t already trust not to be dickheads. Hence the cut. And the long, winding disclaimer, because I’m incapable of being brief.) 

Obi-Wan thinking that “Disobeying Yoda was unthinkable” and just, I know he’s the boss, but that whole train of thought just... doesn’t sit well with me, the way revered Jedi Master Kenobi gets reprimanded like a youngling. I know having a hierarchy in itself is not a bad thing, and that some of it is the Obi-Wan POV, because he always feels like he’s not good enough, while Yoda was probably not thinking that. Still.

Also, Obi-Wan remembering Siri and thinking he'd survived, so Anakin would too when him and Padmé break up, and the whole bit about how being a Jedi is a lonely path and just, I know Jedi are supposed to be a blend of eastern philosophies I frankly know too little about, but holy shit they are so Catholic sometimes. The self-denial, the “the world would literally collapse without us” (which, fair, in SW’s case has an actual basis in reality, but still), the Pain and the Guilt, seriously...

"Privacy there is not, where a Jedi is involved. Of no importance are her feelings. This relationship you will end." YODA. HOLY SHIT. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. You’re sending Obi-Wan to break up Anakin and Padmé. The levels of How Much I Don’t Agree With This are endless. I might agree with the essence of the thing, maaaaaybe, but 200% not with the methods.

Also the whole bit about Obi-Wan having to be a Master and not a friend to Anakin, which. Look, I get it, parent-figures trying to be friends and not providing actual guidance are a bad thing. However, PEOPLE NEED FRIENDS. Not even the Jedi can deny that. And, well, Anakin doesn’t seem to have many. Obi-Wan is rightly worried about his state since he just lost his mom and his arm and is about to lose Padmé (or so they think), and wants to be close to Anakin, and Yoda instead is just “well, we’ll knight him now” and I just [screaming]

also let me just say that Yoda actually said "mothers die" EXCUSE YOU, YODA, CAN YOU BE MORE CALLOUS?

[deep breath]

There’s a whole bit, later on, when Padmé thinks a lot of troubling things about how her love will save Anakin and how she knows him better than Obi-Wan (which, forgive me, I love her and ship anidala and all, but Obi-Wan has spent the past TEN YEARS with the guy and she’s met him again the other day) and, well, we all know Anakin goes and Fucks Up Big Time in the end, partially because of his attachments.

However. There’s also another bit where Yoda thinks that “the Supreme Chancellor’s care for Obi-Wan’s apprentice was problematic”, but how sometimes politics needs to take precedence/they can’t really say no to him. And I just. If you guys put actual effort into getting Skywalker AWAY from the guy who’s actually creepy and let him develop some healthy relationships, maybe he would not have flipped out that much. (Which is still his choice, his fault. I’m no fan of the “the Jedi made him do it” sort of explanations, because, holy shit, no, it wasn’t Yoda who Force-choked Padmé, it wasn’t Obi-Wan who cut down the younglings, it wasn’t Qui-Gon’s fucking ghost who killed Mace and then pledged loyalty to a Sith. That was Anakin Skywalker. But Anakin was a mess for many reasons, which COULD HAVE BEEN ADDRESSED.)

SWTOR Parties Ranked

Wanted to see which SWTOR parties I liked best as a whole, so decided to do a little ranking of them. This is considering the entire party as a unit, and how many individual characters I feel strongly about.

Imperial Agent - Probably my favourite crew overall. I love every character in it, even if Kaliyo and SCORPIO scare the shit put of me and Lokin creeps me out, they're all fun characters to spend time with and talk to with interesting storylines. Probably gets bonus points for 3/5ths of them going on to be involved in the main plot for everyone. And I really like how they like... Acknowledge each other? There are multiple scenes of the Imperial Agent Crew talking to other members of the crew which is really cool

Trooper - This one I like because everyone has a reason to be there (which is even more than I can say for Agent - SCORPIO, Kaliyo, and possibly even Lokin and Vector can potentially have VERY little reason to stick around), they're all Havoc Squad, and Yuun and Vik are specifically recruited to be so. I also like all of the characters even if Vik, again, is kind of a piece of shit, and Yuun is kinda underdeveloped.

Bounty Hunter - With the major exception of Skadge, I love everyone on this crew. Mako is maybe my favourite starter companion overall, possibly tied with T7, and Blizz is... The best character. My jawa son. 20/10. I really love the BH crew as just this Morley crew of scum and villainy, and DEFINITELY appreciate it for being an Imperial crew with... No actual Imperials. The only points against the Bounty Hunter crew are, again, Skadge, and the fact that Gault, Blizz, and Skadge have very flimsy reasons for joining you (and Gault and Skadge have flimsy reasons for not being dead, depending on how you play your character)

Smuggler - This crew only ranks lower than Bounty Hunter because it doesn't have Blizz. But I like it for a lot of the same reasons I like the BH crew, it's just a gang of criminals trying to get by, again with no official representation from the faction they're ostensibly aligned with. Though Smuggler does again have points against it for having one character I absolutely hate in Corso (sorry Corso fans) who is probably my least favourite starter companion and one of my least favourite characters in the entire game. But it vastly makes up for Corso's dead weight with Risha, Bowdaar, Akaavi, and Guss all being characters I absolutely adore.

Jedi Consular - I like the Consular crew a lot for a lot of the reasons I like the Trooper crew, everyone has a reason to be there. With the exception of Tharan and *maybe* Zenith, it doesn't feel like the game has to strain to justify why any of the characters join your crew, they all have good reasons. The only thing I really have against it is we don't get much of the crew interacting with each other at all. There's a couple missions where they're all involved that are really cool but there isn't necessarily a sense they know each other. Also Tharan isn't as bad as Corso or Doc in terms of gross dude companions but I still... Really don't like him

Sith Inquisitor - Honestly this only goes here because I like the final two less. The Sith Inquisitor crew is... Really directionless? Aside from Khem, who is basically bound to you whether you want him to be or not, and Xalek who is your apprentice, no one really has a good reason to join the Inquisitor? Andronikos goes with you because... You helped him kill a guy I guess. Talos sticks with you because uh... I honestly entirely forget everything about Talos I don't like him very much. And Ashara... Makes sense if you actively corrupt her, I guess, but if you don't I don't really understand why she decides to stay with you forever. And if you do corrupt her the rest of her storyline makes very little sense. Besides Talos who isn't offensive, just kinda boring, and Xalek who I also don't dislike but really suffers from joining on *Corellia* which is later than literally every other character in the game and is literally the last planet, I love all of the Inquisitor companions as individuals I just don't think they really cohere.

Sith Warrior - I really like a lot of the ideas behind the Sith Warrior crew. Vette and (light side) Jaessa are absolutely fantastic characters that I love to death. Quinn is interesting as an extension of how the Warrior kinda has to deal with everyone they trust betraying them even if I hate how you're forced to forgive him, Broonmark is really interesting as a person who is so dogmatically committed to this philosophy of violence and destruction that he feels any member of his race that doesn't must be purged, and... Pierce just sucks, honestly. The Warrior crew isn't incoherent or bad, it's just full of *so* many characters I wish weren't forced to be on it. I understand why the Quinncident happens, and think Quinn's reasons for going through it are at the very least, understandable. But the fact that he HAS to walk out of it alive fucking sucks. I know the technical reasons for it, but I still dislike it. Broonmark is a character that none but the darkest dark side character would *ever* consider letting on their crew, to the point where in his Alliance Alerts it is literally *harder* to recruit him than not, and yet he joins no matter what and is also... Really underdeveloped. Pierce... Is just a fucking grunt. There's really no reason for him to continue to work with you after Taris. He did his job. And he's also... Super boring. Even Vette, who I love, doesn't... Really have a place with the Sith Warrior? Like I guess if you're a piece of shit and keep her a slave, she probably cleans the ship or whatever, but why would you take her into battle? She's a grave robber. I also don't really see how she thematically relates to the Warrior. I do love her though. She's great.

Jedi Knight - It sucks that I dislike the Jedi Knight crew so much because it is one of my favourite class storylines. But it's... Really incoherent to me? Like okay, T7 is there because R2-D2, and also he's my son and I love him. Kira is a fellow Jedi Knight (I refuse to consider her my Padawan, it makes no sense), sure. Doc... Though? Putting aside that I really hate Doc and think he sucks in every way possible, why is he here? I guess every ship needs a doctor except literally only the Trooper gets one. He doesn't really mesh with the themes of the Knight storyline? He doesn't seem like a guy who would even WANT to be on board a Jedis ship. I just don't get why he's there. Rusk, I guess, makes sense cause the Jedi have a connection to the Republic military but it still feels weird for him to be *personally* assigned to your ship and his storyline doesn't really go anywhere after he joins you. Scourge, I get, is the connection to the Revan plotline that has to be there because this is the main story of SWTOR, basically, and he's also directly connected to the emperor, so that all makes sense, I just... Don't like him (sorry Scourge fans). He's not the worst by any means but he's not a super interesting character to me? He's just a super generic Sith who decided the Emperor had to die. He also has absolutely no reason to stick around after the end of the story. Also I'm Petty and he killed the Jedi Exile for some bullshit ass destiny garbage so I really fucking hate him. And the crew as a whole feels maybe the least like a found family. Kira and Scourge have their stuff *after* the class storyline I guess, but it never feels like anyone has any connection to anyone else. They're all just... On the ship, I guess, not interacting.

If you read this far thanks, I have realized now that I'm here that this is a ridiculous endeavor and probably not a great post but I'm gonna post it anyway and I hope at least someone likes this post or agrees with some of it. Sorry again to anyone who is a fan of the characters I trashed (which, I know for Scourge at least is: Most people)

Attack of the Clones Canon Divergence Poly OT3 Plot Bunny

So I dreamed the ENTIRETY of this last night, and I absolutely love it. However, since I literally need to crank out an entire YA novel by November (in addition to editing and publishing the first two in the series), I do not have the time it deserves to write it. Come December, I’ll have the new sequel to inspire me, and will likely write about that instead of more prequel stuff nobody cares about.

But, since my muse DEMANDS validation, I must share the idea with you. Because the summary I cranked out in a couple hours is very long and I respect your time and dash space, I’ll put it under a cut.

Super short version: because things went differently in AoC, Padme, Anakin, & Obi-wan end up in a Poly relationship, fight Palpatine and win, and Padme becomes Supreme Chancellor. I promise it makes sense but you gotta read the long version for that.

Follows the plot of AoC until

Padme insists on going with Anakin when he goes to find his mother. She’s able to comfort him & keep him calm. He can’t slaughter the Tusken village & protect her at the same time, so they simply leave undetected with Shmi’s body.

They arrive back in time to receive Obi-wan’s message live. The conversation is very short as Padme convinces him they should rendezvous nearby & he can use her ship’s more powerful communications array to contact the Jedi council. He quickly agrees & is able to leave Geonosis before the droids find him.

After they rendezvous, Obi-wan contacts the Jedi council & tells them about the Clone Army. When they suggest that they should use it to invade Geonosis, Padme butts in and warns the council that this would start a war they’re not prepared to fight. The clones were commissioned for the Republic, so the Senate should decide what to do with them. They reluctantly agree.

With no imminent emergency, Palpatine is not granted special powers. The Senate bickers about what to do with the army. A growing faction, including Padme, Bail Organa, & Mon Mothma, believe they should allow the Separatists to secede & have their own government in order to prevent a cataclysmic war. Palpatine is not happy with this, and his warmongering efforts cause him to begin to lose control of the Senate.

Padme continues to work with Obi-wan & Anakin to mediate issues concerning the Clone Army. Since they were commissioned by a Jedi (allegedly) but for the Republic, there’s still some question as to jurisdiction. The Jedi complain that there are too few of them to keep the peace in such volatile times, and if they were allowed to lead the army as generals they could do better. The Senate’s compromise is to deploy the Clone Army as a peacekeeping force in place of the Jedi, answering to the local government authorities. They are particularly used in areas that are being harassed by the Separatists who have expressed no desire to join them. The Separatists likewise deploy their droid armies to areas they are having difficulty holding on to. All action takes place terrestrially, and besides a few skirmishes with locals, there is no active fighting between the two forces, although there are several very tense standoffs. The end result is a cold war, with stockpiling continuing until they are close to reaching assured mutual destruction.

Throughout this time Padme, Anakin, & Obi-wan all become extremely close with each other. The unresolved sexual tension between Padme & Anakin is nearly unbearable, but Anakin does his best to respect her wishes (it’s very Victorian lol, lots of situations where they end up in close physical contact, or try to comfort each other without giving in, etc). Padme & Obi-wan find each other incredibly intellectually stimulating, often engaging in “wit-sparring” when one of them plays the devil’s advocate, until Anakin about wants to throttle them both. And as Anakin matures into adulthood, Obi-wan finds that their brotherly bond is deepening into something the Jedi would likely disapprove of. (But he made a promise to Master Qui Gon and he is determined to see it through).

Finally, one day Padme decides to take action (as usual). She sits them both down in private. First, she tells Anakin that she’s reconsidered their conversation at Varykino, and she has come to agree with him. She’s tired of pretending that there is nothing between them. When Obi-wan uncomfortably objects that maybe he shouldn’t be present for this conversation, Padme turns to him & explains that she has fallen in love with him too, she just thought it was best to tell Anakin first so he didn’t go on a jealous rampage. (They all agree she’s probably right, even Anakin). Then she notes that she may not be a Jedi, but even she can tell there’s something between the two of them, too. Obi-wan turns bright red & objects that this would be completely inappropriate to a Master-padawan relationship, while a surprised Anakin says he thought it was actually part of that relationship, and to be expected. Besides, he should have been allowed to do his trials by now anyway (he salty) so it shouldn’t matter.

Padme asks, and stresses that she’s asking, not requesting or demanding, if they would be willing to leave the Jedi order & get married. 3-person marriages are not unheard of on Naboo, and before Kings & Queens were elected, they often had multiple spouses (as many as 5) as the emotional care & support of a regent was often too much work for one person. Anakin immediately agrees without hesitation. He’s had it up to here with the Jedi order, and he would do anything for her. Obi-wan is a little more reticent. He had considered leaving once Anakin passed his trials, as his duty to his own Master would have been fulfilled. But he feels the need to disclose his previous & ongoing love for Satine Kyrze. Padme says she can certainly understand if he would rather go to her, although it pains her to say so. Obi-wan simply smiles sadly and says “she never asked me to leave, though.” He just wants them to know the relationship exists. He doesn’t want to go into this with secrets.

That decided, Padme reveals that the reason she is asking now is that Bail & Mon Mothma (among others) have been encouraging her to make a bid for the position of Supreme Chancellor. Palpatine’s insanity is starting to show, and while it’s uncommon for subsequent Chancellors to come from the same planet, her calm & reasoned handling of the Two Armies Incident has garnered her a lot of support. It’s becoming clear that a war would last decades, if not centuries, and would probably only end in the entire dissolution of civilization as they know it. But she doesn’t think she has the strength to do it without them, and if they remained with the Jedi there would always be rumors that she was being used as a puppet. The Jedi are still largely out of favor as they seem resentful for being removed from their role as peacekeepers in the galaxy and relegated to spiritual leaders only, despite it being more consistent with their philosophy. Freed from their responsibility to the Jedi, Obi-wan could act as an impartial advisor to those things concerning the Jedi. Anakin says he’s not sure how he could help beyond emotional support, he’s terrible at politics, and they both kind of stare at him for a moment. “Anakin, you can be very intimidating sometimes,” Padme tells him. “Uh, thanks?” he says sarcastically. Obi-wan catches on easily. “Sometimes, it’s easier to get things done quickly if there’s a little intimidation behind the request,” he explains. “Oh, so I’m going to be the enforcer?” he asks, a little offended. Then he sits there and thinks about it a minute. “Yeah, I could do that. I’d probably be good at it,” he grins. “Do I get a title? A lot easier to be intimidating when people have to call you “lord” so-and-so.”

This leads to a not-unrelated conversation where Anakin admits that Palpatine has said some very concerning things to him & he is beginning to suspect he may have dabbled in the dark side of the Force (he’s also not sure how he feels about that). Padme agrees and admits that one of the reasons she’s been so resistant to a relationship with Anakin for so long was partly because her old mentor seemed so bent on pressuring her into it. It seemed wrong, especially when Anakin was so young and she thought it would essentially ruin his future. Obi-wan also agrees that it often seemed that Palpatine seemed to be trying to supplant his place as Anakin’s Master, but as he often found himself at a loss for how to guide him, he couldn’t gainsay the additional advice.

Padme & Obi-wan begin to discuss the logistics of them leaving the order (this will be his 4th time so he’s old hat at it) and getting married so as to minimize the political scandal. Anakin seems to be having trouble paying attention & keeps staring at the door. Padme makes a joke about him being impatient as she is to get it over with, but he says “Something’s wrong. Something’s… coming.” Just then the chime for her front door sounds. They sit in silence for a moment, and Obi-wan says the classic “I have a bad feeling about this,” line. Padme decides to answer via an interior room’s communication panel, rather than at the door. Anakin & Obi-wan take places to ready for an attack. At the door is a young woman, one of Palpatine’s aides. No one else is visible on the security camera, but Anakin says he can sense at least 5 more people, and Obi-wan agrees. Padme turns on the audio and says she’s in a private meeting and asks what it is the aide needs. She’s informed that Palpatine has sent to make sure that Padme is alright, as there is breaking news of Jedi attacking Clone Army units & local government throughout the galaxy, and he understood she was likely to be in the company of two Jedi. (In truth, he’s executed order 66 and spun it as incited by the Jedi). Padme responds that no, she’s just fine, and thank you for your concern.

Apparently, this is the wrong answer. The door bursts open, and a unit of clone troopers storms in. These are men that Anakin & Obi-Wan know personally, have worked with, and it’s extremely unsettling to be fighting them. In the process, Anakin’s arm is cut off when he hesitates. (Is he distracted by Padme or Obi-wan getting hurt? Does he freeze when thinks he must kill Commander Cody, a friend? Haven’t decided). But the three of them manage to prevail until they have one injured Clone Trooper left - Commander Cody. Despite his injuries, Anakin uses his pain to gain the power to pull the necessary information from his mind (think Kylo Ren, definitely dark side stuff). He learns the truth about Order 66, and breaks the chip. They rush Anakin and Cody to a medcenter, where Padme turns on the holonet and they see the violence unfolding all over the galaxy. Because the Jedi were not actively working with the clone troopers, it has not been as quick or as successful. The Jedi temple is under siege. Anakin expresses concern for the fate of the younglings within and argues that they should go fight to liberate the temple, despite the fact that he is actively being fitted for a prosthetic arm. When Obi-wan protests, Anakin argues that he can just use the pain to his advantage. Obi-wan chastises him for giving in to the dark side, but Anakin just yells “does it matter which side I use if I’m saving lives? If I’m protecting people???” Without a good argument to the contrary, Obi-wan shuts up.

Padme, however, does have a good argument. Vigilante action is likely to just get them killed along with all the other Jedi. She’s just received word that an emergency session of the Senate is being called. If they can bring Commander Cody’s confession as evidence, it’s more than enough to get Palpatine impeached for abuse of power. They rush to the Senate building, and Bail has already started proceedings for a vote of no confidence. When they present the evidence, Palpatine loses his shit and pulls his “I AM the Senate!” nonsense. Think Yoda-vs-Palpatine in the 3rd movie, but the whole Senate is there and it’s Palpatine vs. Obi-wan & Anakin together. But by now, they’ve learned how to be an effective team, and Anakin has the element of surprise as he absorbs Palpatine’s lightning and throws it right back in his face. (There’s some comment along the lines of “bitch, please, you’re the one who told me how to do this shit).

At the end of the fight, they have Palpatine pinned but they won’t hold him for long. Obi-wan is arguing that they should try to find a way, that he must stand trial, but Anakin is arguing he’s too powerful. They both look to Padme. She knows that this will probably destroy her shot at the Chancellery, but it’s the right thing to do. She tells Anakin to do what he thinks is right. He kills Palpatine. They retrieve Commander Cody, and he helps them figure out how to rescind Order 66. A lot of damage has been done, but the Temple held fast and the losses, while significant, are not even half of the Jedi order as a whole.

In the aftermath, the Jedi Council rules that while killing Palpatine was likely the right course of action, Anakin’s use of the Dark Side makes him ineligible to become a Jedi Knight and he must leave the order. He has the distinct pleasure of telling them the equivalent of, “you can’t fire me, I quit.” A beaming Obi-wan declares that he’s out, too. Bail Organa has been given interim control of the Senate, but he makes it clear that it’s only until things calm down. Padme, Anakin, and Obi-wan are married in a quiet but public ceremony. Shortly after, the Senate reconvenes and surprisingly elects Padme anyway. Apparently, her decision to support Anakin’s argument was actually widely accepted (it’s pretty clear the trial would have ended in the same way anyway). She almost immediately becomes pregnant (dammit Anakin and his super-special chosen-one Force-sperm lol) but she’s confident navigating that at the process of reforming the Republic into a Federation. The galaxy has grown too big to be ruled directly. It will be split into individual factions who agree to a loose constitution of basic rights and laws, but the particulars are left to the rule of the region. The Separatists are offered a seat at the Federation table, and surprisingly, they take it (without Palpatine pushing his buttons, Dooku makes a remarkably capable leader). Peace reigns in the Galaxy, Padme retires the role of Chancellor and they go to live on the estate that Obi-wan apparently now inherits (along with lots of money) and all raise a very happy and well-adjusted Luke & Leia.

Anakin still kind of wants to strangle Padme & Obi-wan when they argue though.