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marindram · 3 years

Text

full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!

huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)

Marinknows.best

Location: Seven Monolith Village

Last Login: 12/31/2019

Profile Views: 101,275

About me: I love listening to music and glitter

Friends (0)

June 26, 2018

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!

So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?

Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"

14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.

I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?

But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.

But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.

Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.

And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!

July 1, 2018

Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM

1. Kiss someone (who???)

2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)

3. Go to Paris

4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)

5. Go to Greenland (why not???)

6. Go to New York City

7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)

8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.

9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.

-plus an upstairs downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own

-plus an upstairs/downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.

10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)

11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)

12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday

13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)

14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true

15. Liquid eyeliner??

16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?

17. Kill me

18. Bye

19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.

July 30, 2018

Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:

I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that

people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.

If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.

August 2nd, 2018

I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)

So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL

Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.

I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!

September 4, 2018

I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.

Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol

October 16, 2018

I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.

November 12, 2018

WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.

I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??

Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)

So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.

I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?

There's just a lot.

January 15, 2019

Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!

I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.

I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.

I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?

My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.

So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.

January 16, 2019

Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!

February 14, 2019

Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.

Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.

Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.

Same.

February 19, 2019

I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?

It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.

March 2, 2019

This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:

The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.

If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)

Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.

In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.

March 9, 2019

Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.

Can. You. EVEN???

February 3, 2020

Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!

I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.

But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!

Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!

February 16, 2020

I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?

So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING

but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue

March 2, 2020

Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))

March 15, 2020

I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I

My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.

No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing

April 17, 2020

So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?

But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??

Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!

Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.

April 23, 2020

Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.

May 2, 2020

So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.

So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.

She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.

May 7, 2020

The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.

The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.

May 19, 2020

So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.

But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.

May 27, 2020

So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.

(gonna continue this in reblog)

#omega mart #marin dram #omega mart lore

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yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Note

Pregnant reader angst #7 happy ending please

pregnant reader always hits different for me and idk why 😌

angst #7: “i don’t need you to worry about me”

CW: insecure pregnant!reader, spencer being a bit overbearing, reader has pregnancy hormones - or at least she blames them. *please let me know if i missed anything*

as time went on, spencer’s anxieties got worse. specifically, his anxieties about you and your baby. his baby.

you had been dating for 1 1/2 years when you became pregnant. and now you were 7 months pregnant with your belly bump protruding from your tummy. spencer had been overbearing since you told others of the pregnancy. he wouldn’t let you interview anyone alone while on the job, he no longer wanted you to go undercover (which was something you did frequently pre-pregnancy), he would hardly let you walk alone to the restroom.

you could hardly breath with the amount of protection he made you wear - literally and figuratively. he was like a fleece coat being worn in the summer. and while you could blame him for everything, part of you knew it was just because of how much he loved you.

and maybe that worried you a bit.

pregnancy changes everything. it’s already changed how you look, and it’s only a matter of time until he realizes it, too.

“honey, are you sure you’re alright to go alone? i can go with you, or maybe even just pick them up myself,” spencer offered for the twentieth time.

“spencer,” you sighed, “i can handle buying groceries by myself. i don’t need a protector at all times.”

“i like making sure you, and our baby, is safe,” he wrapped his arms around your back, resting his hands on your baby bump.

“i know, sweetie. but seriously, you don’t need to make sure of anything,” you chuckled as you rested your hands on his. “i protect myself when i face serial killers at the job. i can protect myself.”

“why don’t you want me to protect you?” he retracted his hands, making you turn to face him with a confused look on your face.

“it’s not that, spencer,” you breathed out. “it’s that being pregnant doesn’t mean i can’t go buy our groceries myself.”

“i just worry about you,” he shrugged.

“i don’t need you to worry about me all the time!” you sighed, exasperated. “it’s overbearing, having you breathing down my neck 24/7. i love you, spencer, but i need a boyfriend and a soon-to-be father to our child, not my own father. besides, if i can’t even go to the grocery store by myself, what’s gonna happen when you leave and i need to do everything by myself?”

“when i leave? like on a case?” he whispered, a tinge of sadness hidden in the honey flakes of his eyes.

“sure, spencer. if that’s how you want to interpret that,” you scoffed as you threw your purse over your shoulder.

“you meant that i would leave you?” he quietly mentioned his revelation, gently grasping your wrist to hold you there for a moment longer.

“do we have to get into this right now?” you rolled your eyes as you made eye contact with him once more.

“yes. we do have to get into this right now,” he held onto your hands with both of his.

“it’s just that… pregnancy changes a lot of things - my body, being the main thing,” you looked down at where he was cradling your hands. “i guess i’ve just been getting more insecure about it. after i have our baby, it’s going to take a long time for my body to ever be the same - if it ever does get back to where it was. and i just can’t stop thinking about how when jj had henry and michael, it barely took her any time to bounce back. my body will just never look like that again, and i’ve always had trouble with my self image. it’s only a matter of time before you realize that for yourself and leave and now i’m rambling about this far too much,” you watched as he pressed a kiss to your knuckles before holding them to his chest, right where his heart would be.

“how long have you felt this way?” he tilted your chin up with his index finger, forcing you to look him in the eye.

as you shrugged, you noticed the hint of guilt in his expression that showed how sorry he felt for not recognizing this insecurity earlier.

“why haven’t you said anything, my love?” he traded your hands for your face, cradling it as he would his child as you shrugged once more. “you, regardless of your body, will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. everyone’s body is different, especially regarding childbirth. i love you and this child more than anything i can think of. if anything, knowing that your body has carried our child will enhance how i feel about you.”

“i’m sorry i freaked out on you,” you sniffled, trying to fight back the tears and secretly blaming the pregnancy hormones. “i could actually use some help at the grocery store.”

“great. because i was going to come either way,” you both chuckled as he took your hand and the car keys.

two and a half months later, you gave birth to the light of yours and spencer’s lives. she was beautiful, and you would swear that she got it from her father. spencer knew she got it all from her mother.

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theyaskedmeto · 4 years

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17 questions, 17 people

okay so i was tagged by @klainetrashnumberone @porcelain-nightbird @blaine-andersxn @byebyeblainey @princessblaine @gleeincorrectquotes @blaineanderdumbass thank you all!! (if i missed anyone,,,, i’m sorry but thank you too !)

Nicknames: mop (by my mum, she doesn’t know why and neither do i) also not really but as a joke,,,, elise bc loads of supply teachers at school used to call me that by accident so it kinda just stuck with my friends

Zodiac: gemini .... i don’t know much about zodiacs but i think geminis are meant to be a bit bitchy and love socialisation and i’m really not living up to that rn

Height: 5′7 i think

Hogwarts House: i don’t know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i think i did a quiz once and it was hufflepuff but i’m not 100% sure pls idk enough about harry potter

Last thing I googled: new romantics font bc i was tryna install some new fonts to make book covers for fanfics lol

Song stuck in my head: this is what makes us girls by lana del rey even though i hardly know it

Number of Followers: 124... so influential amirite

Amount of Sleep: 8 hrs????? i cant remember this morning it was so long ago

Lucky Number: 73

Dream Job: ACTING IN A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE AS FUCKKK

Wearing: navy blue t shirt and culottes that look like they were made from my gran’s curtains

Favourite song: take back the track by the magic gang however this changes every week

Favourite instrument: guitar bc i can play it :)

Aesthetics: being a slut for fanfiction, subtle makeup, wanting to be more girly vs when i wear makeup feeling embarrassed bc i never normally do, cats, flowery fields, floral clothes, summer dresses, my one favourite jumper, keith my cuddly toy monkey, navy fucking blue everything, mildliner pens, liking poetry even though idk what it means, pretending to like rupi kuar for the aesthetic, new clothes, being in love with love, glee, having a constant appreciation for joe sugg even though i say i’ve left that fandom now, wanting validation from my history and english teachers

Favourite author: ...............rainjoy JDFHSJJAJAJJD i really don’t read much,,,,,,,,,,,, also i really liked emma carroll’s books when i was younger. tbh any fanfic writer really

Favourite animal noise: my cat going ehhh instead of meowing

Random: i missed my gran’s birthday in 2017 to go to an oli white book signing. he was so rude and said NOTHING and then we went to itsu which was next to the waterstones and oli white came in as well lmaooo,,,, i also gave him a present which he never opened 😔

bold of you to assume i can tag 17 people off the top of my head so i am not counting these but i tag @sapphicbunny @dreamlandhummel @keyiqiang @newrachels @kuiinncedes @klaineitupanotch @klainedrops-on-roses @kurtstinypurse

#elsie is here #tagging game

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suhfleur · 4 years

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dear, my dear • jaebeom (3/4)

• pairing: soulmate!jaebeom x reader

• genre: romance, angst, smut

• warnings: cursing, sexual content

• word count: 3.3k

summary: in a world where a touch can lock the doors of the heart, his voice opened the doors to your soul as he filled it with joy.

a/n: i was just listening to dear, my dear, now im emotional. anyways. hope you guys enjoy, as usual forgive if there’s typos i’m too lazy to review.

• • •

The next day, anxiety had become your last name. Nothing else lurked in your head but "Jaebeom, Jaebeom, Jaebeom".

Now, he had more than a nickname, more than an artistic name. His name sounded like a sea of relief to you, it confirmed that it was really real and you had spent a lot of time putting yourself in dark places, thinking absurd things, you wasted too much time. Nothing else mattered now. Not even the fact that he is predestined to someone else and so are you. Nothing could break that absurd bond that you felt with him, and only with him.

You woke up anxious, agitated, the sun had barely set and you already thought to yourself "oh, what a beautiful day", nothing would be enough to take away your good mood. Not even the absurdly crowded and noisy subway station.

Your headphones were turned up loud enough, you were just absorbed by Jaebeom's voice, with a smile on your face. A smile that never left your face, since yesterday.

You were so out of orbit that you didn't even hear it when somebody called your name, you just realized what was going on around you when someone put a hand on your shoulder, making you turn around quickly, making you face the most babiest smile ever; of LA and Seoul.

"Mark!" You exclaimed excitedly, throwing your arms around the American's broad shoulders. He looked a little bit different, dyed his hair in a bright red color, wearing sweats, as usual.

"Hey, long time no see!" He replied, laughing and tightening his arms around your waist as he swirled you in the air, trying not to hit anyone who passed by. As soon as he released you, you slapped him hard on his right arm. "Hey!"

"Don’t you 'hey' me, Mark Tuan. You said you were only going to spend 2 weeks in Thailand, why the hell did you stay there for more than 3 months? Huh? And why didn't you tell me you were coming back? I spoke to you yesterday!" You asked sulkily, putting your hands on your hips, in your best angry-mom pose.

"Look, I had no intention of staying there for so long either, ok? But you know... My soulmate is from Thailand and I didn't want to be without her, but I also didn't want to leave Korea and everything I built these last 7 years, so, I spent these months trying to bring her here... And I did it. " He informed, rubbing the back of his neck, while his cheeks were flushed. "And I wanted to surprise you, I just didn't think I would meet you here on the subway..."

"What? And why didn't you say anything to me? I hate you so much! I will finally meet her. I have to meet her, because even though Yaya sounds like a loving person, just talking to her on the phone doesn't confirm my blessing, ok? You will only marry with my permission, I’m not going to give you away just because, not even because she’s your soulmate. She has to pass the test." You said, jokingly, hugging your longtime friend again. You missed this. "What train are you going to take?"

"Actually, I'm just waiting for a friend of mine to get off at the station... And now, since my plan to surprise you with my return didn't go very well, how about we go out tonight and celebrate?" He asked, hugging her head against his chest. "Me, my Yaya, Jaehyun, Sunny and you, how about it?"

"I... I meeting with somebody today, I don't know if I can go..." You answered feeling a little guilty.

"Can't you meet that person a little later?" Mark asked with a fake sad look.

"What time do you want to make this meeting?" You asked rolling your eyes, feeling defeated.

"You and Sunny leave work around 5pm, right?" You nodded. "So, let's get together at Jaehyun's apartment, which is very close by and, if you don't want to, you can stay there for just a few minutes... But if you also want, you can call this 'person' to stay there with us." He replied, with a suggestive look, arching his eyebrows.

"I don't know if... the person is going to want to, you know? It's the first time we've seen each other in person. But, I promise I'll come and stay with you for a while." You responded, blushing.

"I think it's really good for you to actually show up, because I want to know more about this guy that you never really explained anything to me, okay?" Mark's look was emanating an order and you no other option but to say ‘yes’ to that.

"Ok, sir." You saluted, making him laugh.

The unmistakable noise of your train arriving made you get out of that bubble with Mark. You had to say goodbye for now.

"Okay, I have to go now, Markeu. See you later." You opened your arms one last time, hugging him tightly, receiving a simple kiss on your forehead.

"Be careful, okay? See you later." He said, stroking your back quickly, as you watched the train doors open and you said goodbye to him, walking backwards towards the door.

And it all happened again.

As you turned to pass the train door, someone who was leaving ran into your arm and made the coat you carried in your hand fall. When you were about to bend down to pick it up, someone else did it first, reaching out to you. You gaze went up from the floor to that person, and you saw him.

The subway guy.

And he was stunning. He was like that everyday, but man, today it was something else, you thought. He had a new piercing, which was just placed under his eye. He was so close that you could quickly appreciate his beauty and the two small moles below his left eyebrow.

Breathtaking.

You said a small and very low 'thank you', hoping that he would’ve listened, while taking your coat from his hands and that's when your body collapsed for the second time that week. When you took the coat, your fingers lightly touched the back of his hand and you felt it again.

Your chest throbbed, shivers ran down your spine and the feeling of an absurd happiness got through your chest. Felt like your heart was screaming again, and you were static.

Of all people that could possibly be your soulmate, you were comically doomed to the guy you watched every Thursday.

He didn't seem so surprised by that feeling, he just looked at you cryptically while you stood stupidly still, until someone pushed you into the train and you saw the doors close in front of your face, again.

His eyes never left you, until the train started to move and you lost sight of him.

It felt worse than the first time because now, he had a face. You knew who your soulmate was, finally, and you didn't know how you were going to deal with that. That information ended up with everything you thought you knew, with everything you thought you could handle.

You didn't know how to deal with that. You definitely didn't.

Now, more than ever, it was all real. And it was happening to you. Like it or not, you actually don’t know how you feel about this.

And those thoughts followed you all day, without you being able to breathe for a second without thinking "it's him". Your head hurt. And the day that you thought it couldn't be spoiled, was troubled and distant. Your cell phone was forgotten again, until the moment you stopped to eat and remembered that you needed to talk to def.

When you took your phone out of the pocket, you saw messages from him.

[07:07 am] def: i’m still see you today, right?

[07:07 am] def: tell me you haven't changed your mind, please...

[07:07 am] def: i really need to see you.

[10:01 am] loftv: Of course we will see each other, I just think I’ll meet you a little later than agreed. I have to do something before that.

You thought about talking about what happened with you, but it was pointless. It shouldn’t matter to you, neither to him.

[10:02 am] loftv: Did something happen? You look strange. Idk.

[10:05 am] def: a strange thing happened today that i don't want to talk about. it doesn't matter to me. none of that matters.

[10:06 am] def: I'm fine.

[10:07 am] loftv: So, why didn't you say good morning? ):

[10:08 am] loftv: Uneducated prick! *insert angry emojis here, because I don't feel like using them*

[10:10 am] def: forgive me, madam of the valley. to make up for my lack of education and professionalism, here's a series of 'good mornings' in different languages.

[10:10 am] def: 1 - good morning.

[10:10 am] def: 2 - buenos dias.

[10:11 am] def: 3 - bonjour.

[10:12 am] def: 4 - buongiorno.

[10:13 am] def: 5 - *insert here ‘good morning’ in russian because it’s really hard and i don’t know how it is spelled*

You laughed at his nonsense. And that part of the day relieved your confused chest. At the end of the day, he was the only one for you. And anxiety knocked on your door once again. The day went by so slowly that you keep looking at your watch every 15 minutes. When it was finally time to leave, you were almost jumping of joy.

"Take it easy, Dorothy. The road to OZ is almost there." Sunny said sarcastically.

"I just want to do this soon, to meet with him." You said, opening her car door and getting in.

"Speaking like that, you look like you hate your friends." Sunny replied pretending to be hurt, placing her hand on her chest, fake crying, while starting the car.

"Shut up, actress. I'm just really looking forward to seeing him." You answered, looking out the car window, which was now moving, thinking about how you could hardly wait for that moment.

Arriving at Jaehyun's apartment, Mark was already there, talking to someone on the phone.

"Come on, man. It's only a few minutes, then you can go and do what you want!" Mark insisted to the person on the other end of the line. "I swear, if you want to stay just 10 minutes, no problem, but just show up... Okay. I'll be waiting for you." He said at last, putting his cell phone away and giving you a big smile. "Here you are, my little sweet pie full of poison." He said childishly, squeezing your cheeks.

"Do you want to die?" You questioned, punching him in the arm.

"Ouch! Why do you always want to kill me? I'm just being sweet!" He protested, as you squeezed your eyes at him.

"You are pathetic, where’s the lady that has your heart, by the way?" You asked hugging him. You missed that. Punching him and getting out unscathed, just after.

Yaya showed up from the bathroom, looking stunning, just like a Disney princess, and you looked at both of them together feeling like a proud mother. Not only was Yaya a sweetheart, turns out that she was funny and a great cook. Mark was a lucky son of a b...

It didn't take long for you to get together on the balcony of Jaehyun's apartment, talking about all the crazy events in Mark's life in Thailand over the past three months. From insane rides in a tuned Tuk Tuk with a high driver, to the perfect trip through Maya Bay, showing pictures of a place that looked like heaven itself on earth.

"My god, I really need to go to Maya Bay! Check this out!" Sunny said hysterically, while you agreed, starting to talk about ticket prices and everything about this place.

"We have to go on this vacation, and Mark, I know you just got back, but you are going too!" You said pointing at him, as you took out your cell phone to look for Maya Bay, that's when you looked at watch and saw that you had spent a lot more time there than you had planned and you needed to find Jaebeom. "Oh shit, I have to go!" You said hurriedly. While reading Jaebeom's message.

[10:10 pm] def: i'll take a while, too, but after that I'll be on my way to your house.

"But already? My friend is on his way, just wait a little!" Mark pleaded, sitting on the floor, putting both hands together in a gesture of prayer. "You'll like him, I swear! Jaebeom is so cool!"

The mention of that name made you hang up and take your eyes off your phone.

"Jaebeom?" You asked in an almost inaudible whisper, feeling your hands tremble. Sunny watched you without understanding, since you haven’t mentioned that little detail of his name to her, and Jaehyun kept eating pizza like he never ate in his entire life.

"That friend of mine that I always try to introduce you to, but it never works." Mark said, laughing and slapping Jaehyun's arm. "Do you believe that I tried to introduce these two to each other for a whole month and it always went wrong? I’m trying since May, we are in August already." He laughed harder, and Sunny chuckled, as if remembering something, still not noticing your static expression.

"I remember that. The first time was when we were at the mall, we were going to see that horror movie, Mark had everything planned to leave you and Jaebeom alone and he would disappear into the world, at end, Y/N didn’t show up and Mark was disgusted. He spent the rest of the week saying he was going to get the two of them to know each other, before he went to Thailand." Sunny laughed harder, stealing Jaehyun's piece of pizza, which he complained about with his mouth full.

"I tried every day when I was still here in Korea, but the two never collaborated. Aish..." Mark said frustratedly, messing up his red hair. "The last time I tried, it was the day before I traveled, I went to Y/N's apartment when Sunny was there, I made an excuse that I needed to talk to Sunny and Y/N just opened the door, greeted me, said a quick hi to Jaebeom, didn't even look at his face and ran to the bedroom. It was frustrating. He is a dumbass also, he was always on that damn phone. Both of them are frustrating. He was right there in your living room and you were locked in the bedroom." Mark said, looking for something on his cell phone.

Every word from Mark made your stomach turn and you felt like you were going to throw up at anytime now. You didn't know how to absorb that information.

"Ah! I found it. Look at him here with me." Mark said excitedly, crawling over to you by placing his cell phone screen in front of your eyes, showing a picture of him with the said Jaebeom. And you felt the air in your lungs disappear, and were on the verge of crying.

There he was.

The subway guy was Mark's friend.

Your soulmate was Mark's friend.

And maybe, he was...

"He has an amazing Soundcloud account, you know? He's a great singer, I swear. You should listen to his music. You'll like it, I know it's your type of music. Search for Defsoul, later."

After that, Mark's words grew more and more distant, as you shifted your gaze from the screen to Sunny's face, who stood still, with a piece of pizza in her mouth, looking directly at you, as astonished as you, while understanding what was going on.

Your chest tightened in an absurd way and you felt numb. The tears came hard and you got up off the floor quickly, running to the apartment door.

"I need to breathe… Just give me a second..." You said in a low, almost strangled, voice. Your chest seemed to want to explode, your breath was messy. You walked down the building's corridor in slow steps, barefoot, leaning on the walls. Your hand was shaking like never before and you could barely see the keyboard as you typed on your phone.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Mark.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Do you know Mark?

[10:20 pm] loftv: Please.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Tell me that you’re the one that it’s coming here. That you are Mark's friend.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Tell me it was you on the subway.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Please.

You typed while tears fell on your phone screen.

[10:21 pm] loftv: Please tell me that you are my soulmate. Please, I can’t spend the rest of my life with somebody that is not you. I don’t want to.

[10:22 pm] loftv: Please.

[10:22 pm] loftv: Tell me it's you.

The minutes passed and no answer came, and everything just seemed to get worse. Your chest was unable to rest and your legs felt weak. Nothing had prepared you for that, not even your best dream. He was always there, all the time, crossed your path several times and in different ways; nothing could make you believe that this was the reality.

The noise of the elevator doors took you out of your state, making you realize that you were in the middle of a building's corridor, crying, while looking at the floor. Quickly, you tried to pull yourself together in the best way possible, drying your tears with the sleeve of your black shirt, but it was all in vain when you saw who was coming out of the elevator.

In a dark blue shirt and slightly ripped jeans, his hair was messing up, his chest rising heavily fast, as if he had been running for miles, his face was all red while holding his phone. When his eyes met yours, you felt like you were about to die, drowning in so many feelings. He came to you in hurried steps, but they seemed absurdly distant from you. He stopped inches away from you, his eyes scanning every single piece of your face, every emotion hidden in your eyes, he was absorbing everything.

"Return of happiness." He whispered, incredulous. "The lily of the valley usually blooms on the 1st of May and in some countries where it grows, tradition says that offering the plant brings good luck. It is such a humble flower, but so, so beautiful." He went on, reaching out to touch your cheeks with his fingertips, and that shiver, which was becoming something habitual to you, ran through your whole body again. Your heart had never beat so hard like this. "It is a source of inspiration for a better scenario. In the language of the flower, the lily of the valley means 'return of happiness'," he continued, as he raised his hand to the back of your neck, tilting his face so that your foreheads were glued together. You squeezed the fabric of his shirt between your fingers, pulling him closer to you. He never stopped looking at you; so intense that it just made your heart slowly unravel. "That's what you mean to me. From day one. You brought back everything I didn't know I had let go of. You brought back my happiness. You are the return of my happiness."

He whispered those words, as if he had been telling his most precious secret, then pressed your lips together, while holding your face in both hands, as if he was afraid that you would disappear. Every part of your body warmed and trembled at his touch, as if his touch was the trigger for all the feelings you once suppressed in your life.

Nothing but happiness emanated from your soul.

You could feel yourself crying without even realizing it; felt like your heart was shaking saying 'thank you, you're finally here, my love'.

"I love you," he said after pulling away from your lips for just a second, returning to kiss you with fury and passion.

And again, nothing had prepared you for reality.

#jaebeom #lim jaebeom #got7 #jaebeom scenarios #jaebeom imagines #jaebeom smut #got7 scenarios #got7 imagines #got7 smut #got7 fic #dearmydearseries

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katierosefun · 3 years

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author interview tag game

thank you for the tag, @pandora15! <3

Name: caroline

Fandoms: mostly the clone wars, but i also have some marvel stuff, and waaay back in the day, i wrote some doctor who and merlin stuff!

Where you post: primarily on ao3! i mostly just write on tumblr when i’m accepting prompts from like...ask games or something.

Most Popular Oneshot: real

Most Popular Multichap: to these memories (this fic only recently hit 1k kudos, and my heart?? w h a t)

Favorite Story You’ve Written: def. to these memories because a) longest fic i’ve ever written, and b) oh, the hours i logged into writing this fic, and c) oh, the outlining that went into this fic...i’m very proud of myself for completing the fic, and of course, i credit this to everyone who showed their lovely support for the story. :’)

Fic You Were Nervous to Post: uhhh definitely too far just because it’s...rather personal. i sometimes say that there’ll be a scene or two or just straight up a line or two that’s plucked out of my real life, and i think it’s inevitable for writers of any kind, including fic writers, to isolate their real lives completely from whatever they’re writing, and?? this fic is probably the most personal for me because of that. i remember kinda hem-hawwing about posting it, because i was like whoa, maybe this is a little too personal? but then i steeled myself and was like, “okay, well, would this have lifted my spirits when i needed a story like this??” and then decided to post it.

How you choose your titles: i def. toss and turn between titles! there’s a few fics of mine that are straight-up song lyrics (no surprise there), but to my surprise (as i was looking through my catalogue of fics just now), i realize that a lot of my fics are usually just words or two about what i think might have been extremely important to the story. (or captures the overall tone/theme of the story, anyways.)

Do you outline? for multi-chapter fics and relatively long one-shots with lots of moving parts, i’ll outline. but for shorter one-shots and prompts, i’ll usually just stick with the image that compelled me to write the prompt/one-shot in the first place! (and then kinda write around that.)

Complete: uhhhhh, i’m gonna answer relatively for all my clone wars fics, because in total, i have 74 completed fics. (make that...75, hopefully in a few minutes or hours!) but out of clone wars fics, i have 46 completed fics! (and again, hopefully 47 in a little while.) a part of me is lowkey hoping that i’ll get up to 100 total fics by the end of this year. a part of me highly doubts it, but given how much i was able to write over summer break, i’m...intruiged if i wind up somehow writing another twenty or so fics by the end of this year. (asfsf my wip list is long enough to fill in for another twenty fics. caroline finish all your wips challenge.)

In Progress: okay, so officially, time, wondrous time is in progress and online. but in terms of the works in progress on my laptop...i have...*mutters, counting* fourteen official wips. (ten of them are one-shots, and the other four are longform fics. one of them, i’m hoping to release next week (!!!), and another, i’m hoping to release hopefully around mid-december. uhhh so fingers crossed??)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: oops, i guess i kinda already answered that question, but eh, might as well! the one coming out next week (hopefully!! caroline get your shit together challenge!!) is titled most ardently, and it’s an obitine au based off pride & prejudice because i cannot and will not shut up about obitine being the period drama ship out of star wars okay--

and then the other longform fic that is very overdue is called getting lost in a big galaxy, which is a fix-it of sorts taking place after season 5. anakin’s gone missing, and obi-wan winds up going on a galaxy-ride road trip with ahsoka (who, remember, has left the order) to find their idiot. this is honestly my excuse to just write more obi-wan and ahsoka content. hopefully, that’ll be posted in december!! (despite the fact i...originally meant to post it in august oOps.)

and then there’s this other longform fic which...might be coming in early 2021 called red, underlined, which is essentially...uh. everyone’s a stressed out law-school student, and anakin might have accidentally murdered professor palpatine, and now anakin, obi-wan, ahsoka, padme, and rex are all trying to find out what the hell to do with themselves because they’re all in on it. (def. influenced by how to get away with murder except without the criminal justice professor to lead them through the ropes. so more chaos. kind of a dark comedy vibe, if anything else? anakin no is major theme in this one. uh, i mean, maybe anakin was justified in murdering creep palpatine because our gang’s gonna find out what was going on in the background, but either way! lots of “holy shit are we good people are we bad people what are we doing”. lots of questions about morality! ethics! law school student study nights with anakin sprawled out on the floor and obi-wan wearing glasses (which he pushes up the bridge of his nose whenever he’s about to lecture anakin that no, that’s not how that statute works, dumbass) and ahsoka just bringing snacks and rex catching paper airplanes and padme being the one to supply everyone with very neat flashcards. this fic is gonna be an absolute beheamoth, and i’m estimating about 45 chapters? like...130K+ words? help? yeah idk either this really blew up in my head

and then...this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job, which is...office x tcw au. only not? it’s very, very loosely based off the office, but not really. obi-wan moves in as a new manager of a company, and we’ve got anakin being like “lol new guy i’m gonna mess with him”, and ahsoka being the one who’s both like “please don’t mess with our new boss” but also being like “actually, wait, lemme help”, rex being in hr and being like “i don’t get paid enough for this”. (also there’s some parts that are written like actual interviews like you would find in the office, so there’s this one bit where uhhh

Obi-Wan flicks his eyes to the cameras in silent question before turning back to Ahsoka. “Well, if you need to call maintenance, then I hardly think you need my permission—”

“Thanks!” Ahsoka says quickly, and she’s about to disappear from the doorway when Obi-Wan stands up.

“Wait, Ahsoka, what exactly—”

Ahsoka re-appears at the doorway. “Oh, right,” she says. “Um—maybe just stay away from the men’s bathroom for a little bit.” She pauses.

“Actually, just stay away from them for the rest of the day.” She hovers by the door for a minute longer, and then she adds quickly, “And maybe also avoid the breakroom. Everything’s fine!”

And with a perfectly not-fine smile, Ahsoka disappears from the doorway.

Obi-Wan stares at where Ahsoka was just a moment ago, and the he turns to the cameras in disbelief. “Did she just—” Unable to finish his own sentence, Obi-Wan starts out the door. “Ahsoka?”

The camera follows Obi-Wan out of the conference room and into the breakroom. There are only muffled shouts—Anakin’s shouts, and then Rex’s, and then Ahsoka’s frantic “no, sorry, everything’s fine!”, and then Obi-Wan’s loud, “What is going on in here?”

surprise y’all just got a snippet i’m sorry can you tell i’m weirdly into this au?? i need to rewrite some scenes but uh there you go

Prompts: for the most part, yes! i have some stuff in my faq about prompts that i’ll probably turn down (mostly anything that’s...above a certain rating/really, realy heavy themes that i just don’t think i can tackle with justice or with enough education on my end). i can be a little slow with prompts, but i’ll get to all of them in time!

Upcoming Work You’re Most Excited About: uhhhh i have too many that i’m excited about. literally i can write a mini essay on every single one of the fics i’m working on? but uhhh i guess since i already talked about all my major longform fics above (asdfasdfsd didn’t mean to do that, i’m so sorry for everyone who had to scroll past that word-vomit), i guess the one i’m most excited about releasing is the post season 7 obi-wan-and-ahsoka-finally-talk-about-how-they-miss-each-other-also-sorry-for-fighting-with-you-i-know-you-were-just-trying-your-best fic. (not a whole ton of spoilers for this one, but uh. i’m looking at some of these scenes and making frustrated sounds because there’s this one particular instance where i’m like, ahsoka. ahsoka just talk to him just ta lk to him but then lol no talking :)) also maybe some h/c? lowkey sickfic might be involved in this somehow? might have accidentally served as a precursor to to these memories? help? this fic just ballooned. caroline keep your ideas contained challenge!)

No Pressure Tags: @lightasthesun @soplantyourownflowers @ohhellokenobiand anyone else who wants to join!

#tag game #thank you!!#caroline.....control your wips challenge #also i am so sorry this got sO long and SO OUT OF HAND #also....lol caroline stop writing so many longform fic challenge #i really love writing one-shots #i really really love writing one shots #but like also. also there's a part of me that's like 'im gonna hyperfixate on this au sO HARD'#thankfully tho i think those are all the longform wips #there's also that one time travel fix it longform fic i have in the back of my head....#but lol i still haven't outlined it yet

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fictionpenned · 3 years

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Tagged by @picnokinesis!!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors! 1. Let Her Run (Doctor Who, March 2021) Stars glitter not only in the sky, but in the Doctor's eyes. 2. I’m Sorry (She-Ra, March 2021) The past still haunts Catra. 3. Best Served Hot (Doctor Who, March 2021) The vast majority of the regulars at the coffeeshop have a set routine. 4. Swept Up In Each Other (10 Things I Hate About You, March 2021) Kat never thought that she would miss Seattle. 5. Against Time Itself (Doctor Who, March 2021) Heat radiates from Rose's skin in waves. 6. Marriage Vows (NBC Hannibal, March 2021) Bedelia lazes on the chaise lounge like a lioness patiently waiting for nightfall. 7. A Change In The Weather (Hunger Games, March 2021) Katniss despises this house. 8. On The Hook (Doctor Who, March 2021) The Doctor has been texting. 9. Stranger Still (Bridgerton, February 2021) The ball is noisy and near-overwhelming in its spectacle. 10. The Stars Between (House M.D. & Firefly, February 2021) The view from the pilot's chair consists of only stars and darkness and space dust. 11. Insatiable Cruelty (A Gentleman’s Guide To Love & Murder, February 2021) “Phoebe, darling." 12. Dreams Diverged (Bridgerton, February 2021) Daphne and Eloise are both idealists, though they wear the mantle in incredibly different ways. 13. Unrecognizable (Doctor Who, February 2021) Like most Time Lords, the Master is not fond of traveling via vortex manipulator. 14. Planned Scandals (Game of Thrones & Bridgerton, January 2021) Olenna hears Lady Danbury approaching long before she sees her. 15. A Seduction (Star Wars, January 2021) Joining the dark side is not a sudden turn or a downward fall. 16. The Wonder of The Universe (Doctor Who, January 2021) Falling down the rabbit hole felt like a tiny thing at first. 17. A Little Bit Of Meddling (Doctor Who, January 2021) A small fire roars in the hearth, throwing affectionate heat and shifting shadows across the dimly lit room. 18. The Art Of Flying (A Court of Thorns and Roses, January 2021) Feyre has yet to master the art of shapeshifting. 19. Raised For War (She-Ra, January 2021) Though battle is an unimaginable prospect for most people, Adora and Catra were born to it, trained for it, forged to be weapons of the highest order. 20. Fending Off Nightmares (The X-Files, January 2021) Exhaustion circles Agents Mulder and Scully like a vulture awaiting the moment when an injured deer finally expires. Observations: I think the biggest takeaway from this is that my openers are not complicated. They’re not overly dramatic. They’re not the attention-grabbing hooks that you’re taught to use in school. When I was younger, I really latched onto the idea that the first sentence of a story had to be this big, dramatic set piece, and that if the reader wasn’t immediately dragged into action, then they wouldn’t care, but my understanding of first sentences has evolved significantly. I no longer see them as a hook with which you drag the reader in. They’re like a handshake or that first step over the threshold when you’re entering a stranger or acquaintance’s home for the first time. It’s about introducing you to a vibe, more than anything. Sometimes, that vibe comes in the form of how a character is relating to a situation (eg, Katniss despising the house), sometimes it comes in the form of worldbuilding (eg, Catra and Adora being born into and raised for war), sometimes it’s putting pieces into place for an encounter in the first scene (eg, Bedelia lounging), and sometimes it’s the introduction of an aesthetic or a motif (eg, stars in the Doctor’s eyes). My other primary takeaway is that so many of my first lines aren’t intended to be read in isolation. I write lyrically, so my sentences tend to flow into each other and build, and taking them out of context dulls the impact a lot. Probably the best example of this is the opening of “A Seduction.” The first line is “Joining the dark side is not a sudden turn or a downward fall.” When read in isolation, it’s fine. Like, it’s serviceable, but it’s only part of the opening thought. When you take it in whole though, it becomes: Joining the dark side is not a sudden turn or a downward fall. It's an intimate courtship -- one step forward and two steps backwards -- a dance so slow that at first, you hardly realize that you're doing it. It is a seduction. And that is the way it’s meant to be read. It gives a clearer picture, and the impact is in that third sentence. It’s a trio, not a solo act. My Favourite: Stars glitter not only in the sky, but in the Doctor's eyes. Idk fam, it’s just pretty. I like pretty things. Tagging: I don’t know who has and hasn’t done this yet, so if you see this post and you want to do the thing, consider yourself tagged!

#on writing #fanfiction #fanfic

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subbyboymax · 4 years

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I want to ask you all of them 🙈🙈

So why won’t you ask all of them? Huh anon?

Jk I love you whoever you are. As requested:

1. Zodiac sign

Taurus. I don’t really pay much attention to zodiac stuff but I’ve heard from friends that I fit the stereotypes somewhat.

2. Sexual orientation

This is hard because I’m kinda questioning atm, but I would say I like women and identify as NB using male pronouns which I personally feel is accurate to me, but I still am unsure myself what that actually means. I am still figuring myself out.

3. Relationship status

Single and honestly looking. I’ve had one girlfriend in high school and I’ve had romantic interests since but I have such low self confidence that I end up being too nervous to really pursue a relationship.

4. Someone you miss

My friend Rebekah. I miss her a lot. She’s like a sister to me.

5. Person who’s arms you’d like to be in

Hmmmmmmmmm... anyone really...

6. What you find attractive in Men/Women?

Typically I find personality attractive and looks don’t really matter, but usually someone’s smile and eyes draw my attention the most.

7. How tall are you?

5’7 or ~170cm but I wish I was more smol.

8. What you love about yourself?

Already answered

9. What you’re doing tomorrow?

I’m probably going to exercise and play games with my gaming clan.

10. What are your future plans?

My goal is to become an electrician, but I also want to go to various Asian countries and try to improve my Asian cooking by studying the food culture all over east asia.

11. Your last night out in detail?

Oh god I don’t even remember the last time I was out at night... I guess it was last year when I had my heart broken and I went to a really nice bar and spent $200 on alcohol and was GONE. Never again. Ended up being hung over for the first time in my life.

12. Your favorite book?

Hmm... favorite book(s) would have to be the Ranger’s Apprentice series of books. Good story, good characters.

13. All of pets you’ve ever had?

I’ve had so many pets I could make a whole post about them and may do that later.

14. Something that changed your life?

Unfortunately too many things have happened to change my life more than I would like. I still can’t really answer this question fully.

15. Do you remember your last dream?

I was basically playing a game that turned out to be an isekai and I basically had a SMG and had to fight off a dragon. Shit was weird but very vivid. It’s weird because I don’t particularly like guns or dangerous stuff in general.

16. What your last text message says?

“Keep me posted! We should meet up and have a toast to it!” was sent to my friend Renè, who has been my best friend since birth pretty much. Our parents were close while they were pregnant with us and we are practically brothers. He’s getting a house near where I live and we will live in the same state for the first time since we were 8 years old. Obviously we will social distance but we still had to celebrate and see each other to mark the occasion.

17. Do you respect your government and the way your country is run?

Absolutely not. Please vote biden if you live in the US. Even if you hate the idea of voting for biden, he’s better than trump. If hillary had won, she would have been putting her third justice on the supreme court. Biden is the only chance for our freedom and for the freedom of many people. I am terrified of 4 more years of trump.

18. Where you would like to live?

South Florida, where I was born.

19. Your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Depends on my mood, but typically strawberry.

20. Last thing you ate?

Pizza that was left over from last night.

21. Which swear word do you use the most?

Fuck. Like I use it so much it’s stupid.

22. Your plans for summer?

Heh... plans...

23. Any upcoming concerts?

Bruh if only. Like I work as an usher and as a stagehand, so if any concerts were happening at all I would JUMP for joy. And I am CHONK so jumping is not exactly the most comfortable thing to do.

24. Something that you’re proud of?

That I am finally committing to getting therapy for my long list of traumas.

25. Do you still talk to your first crush?

I wish I could, but she’s not part of my life anymore, sadly. She was a good friend.

26. What language do you want to learn?

Japanese, because I really have a strong interest in their history and culture and want to go sightseeing there someday.

27. Where have you lived before?

Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and St. Louis, Missouri.

28. Eye color?

I think it’s green or something but it changes depending on the light because it’s sometimes more silvery idk.

29. Favorite style of clothing?

Traditional Japanese formal wear. It’s always been an interest of mine.

30. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

All of one minute to throw on an outfit and get socks on. I wish I had an eye for fashion but hopefully if I ever have a partner, they will help me with my style choices a bit lol.

31. Where did you go today?

Nowhere, because pandemic lmao.

32. Where are you right now?

In my room wishing I could have cuddles.

33. How many countries have you visited?

None because money is not exactly a thing we have an abundance of.

34. Something old?

What does this mean? I guess I have my great grandfather’s old stamp collection.

35. Something new?

Hell if I know, I’ve had nothing new in months.

36. Something inherited?

My laptop.

37. Is death more scary than life?

Hell no. Death is easy. Life is scary and overwhelming but it’s worth living the life you have. You only lose out on life by dying before your time. You gain nothing in death, despite it being less scary and uncertain than living is. Keep living to experience everything you can and have no regrets once you do pass on.

38. Experience you’ll never forget?

The time my high school crush complimented my hair in physics class. I get very few compliments and I never feel that attractive so I hardly focus on my appearance but I had brushed my hair that day and the fact she commented on it made me smile very wide.

39. What’s your favorite part about today so far?

Honestly today has sucked and I have been dealing with depression but I am trying to stay positive. Hopefully the answer to this question changes later today!

40. Who is your hero?

My Great-Grandmother. She was part of my life until I was 17 and she taught me that kindness and compassion is the most important trait for a human to have. She was the most amazing woman I have ever met in my life.

41. Are you happy with where you live?

I love this house, but it’s definitely not perfect and I would love to have my own place someday.

42. Do you like your handwriting?

Ew no it looks like alien language. It’s so bad. I can barely read my own writing.

43. What do you wear to bed?

Typically just underwear, or in the winter I will wear a T-shirt and fleecy pants.

44. Tea or coffee?

Tea

45. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate hands down. It’s such a varied flavor imo.

46. Are you excited for anything?

Being okay someday.

47. How late did you stay up last night and why?

Midnight because sleep is hard.

48. What’s your ringtone?

I’m boring and keep my phone on vibrate so no ringtone.

49. Did you have a dream last night?

Yes, I said it earlier.

50. What keeps you going each day?

Honestly no fucking idea lmao.

51. Picture of yourself?

You’ll have to DM me for that one, friendo. Anons get no face pics!

Also for the other people who sent in asks, I saw them, but I figured I could just use this ask to consolidate and not spam posts. Thank all of you for sending in asks, you are the best <3

#Asks #Thank you anon

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thedeviousdo · 4 years

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Quarantine time

Thank you for tagging me @bikeryeollie

Rules: to answer these following questions and tag 5 friends

1. Flowers or chocolates? Flowers (not roses)

2. Between day and night I prefer: I like nighttime but I suck at staying up

3. My favorite drink: Water or if I’m drinking alcohol then a Gin and Tonic (w/ an orange slice, you’re welcome gin drinkers)

4. Between sunrise and sunset I prefer: Sunrise, no matter what happened the day before you see a new one start

5. Between dogs and cats, I prefer: Dogs, cats are fine though

6. The vegetable I hate the most: Carrots, Celery, Cauliflower

7. My favorite sound: a thunderstorm

8. The first thing I notice about people: Eyes

9. What would you prefer, horror or fantasy?: Horror, esp ghost stories

10. I’d want to be stuck in a lift with? (choose opposite gender lol): the guy I’m kinda with, adult things would happen, don’t judge me

11. What city or town you’d like to live in?: somewhere in North America like WA

12. What I value most in life: Kindness

13. If I could learn any skill, it’d be: drawing..guys I’m so bad. I just tell people it’s abstract bc it’s that bad

14. Between beach and the mountains: Mountains

15. I’d love to get married in..: not really a big thing to me so..

16. My hidden talent: I can speak without moving my mouth

17. If could bring anyone back to the life, I’d bring back: I wouldn’t

18. Why?: We complete this life and hopefully start a new one, I’d hate to bring someone back to something they left behind and now have to miss

18. Rainy day or sunny day?: Rainy day

20. Who’s the role model of your life: my grandfather and my older sister (which just made me emo bc of the path we took to get where we are now)

21. How I relax after a hard day: shower, you wash away all of the bad

22. I like the way I look: yes..ish. There are things I feel better about now but I don’t see what others may say they see in me.

23 My most favourite facial features of my self is: my eyes, they are green hazel and change colors

24. My most favourite part of my body: my back, most of my tattoos are there so I feel I hold more of my soul there

25. If I could change anything about my body: yes

26 . If yes what’s it: the loose skin I have now after losing so much weight, that’s hard to get rid of

27. If I could change something from my past: I would have applied myself for, know what I wanted to do in my life

28. How many piecings I’ve: 3 on each ear but I never wear them now

29. I like makeup: for the most part

30. I wear makeup everyday: Yes, but it’s mostly just eyeliner and mascara the rest is me.

31. My skin type is: idk...it’s not dry or oily

31. My skin tone: so most of the whitest shades are still too dark for me

32. My hair colour: brown

33. My height: 172cm or 5′8

34. My age: old, I’m happy I don’t use a chisel and rock to make notes now

35. My birthday: January 21

36. My best friend: Christy, we call each other Belt Buckles bc a belt can’t work without a buckle and we can’t work without each other. She is my soulmate

37. I have a pet or more: nope, I even forget I have a pet rock

38. If I don’t, then one pet I’d adopt: uh my siblings pets if something happened to them

39. Video games or social media: Social Media though I really suck at all but tumblr

40. I’ve a innocent mind/dirty mind: Dirty as fuck

41. I’ve visited outside of my country: Yes, lived in Turkey and then went to Germany

42. Someone proposed me or asked me out?: I’ve been asked out

43. If yes then I liked it and accepted it / didn’t liked it and rejected it: I told one no and a few yes

44. Do you follow some celebrities’ fashion: No...ok so I have my days that my outfit may match Kyungsoo so that may count. I also have his Bob shirt

45. What do you think about your fashion sense: put together, now that I lost weight I feel like I’m finding a style more myself bc I have more options

46. You found someone copying your fashion: Yes in clothes and hair styles years ago..she was a bit odd

47. You can do your make up properly: I do a boss winged eyeliner

48. You go or used to go to school with makeup on: hardly wear much but I did wear it in highschool

49. What colour suits you best? I’ve been told red looks good on me other than that idk

50. Finally how’s quarantine going? the first 2 weeks wrecked my depression but I was able to get permission to go into work and that helped me a lot.

Tagging randomly, legit going through my activity and picking as I scroll, don’t feel you have to do this @do-kyngsoo @pinkbyun @cottonmyeons @ks-h @trashtrek

#thanks for giving me something to do the last bit of work #ty again for the tag #my lovely mutuals

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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883

1. What kind of textures do you enjoy most in your food? Crunchy, crispy, soft, hard, grainy, slimy, etc? I love chewing on any meal that involves rice. Born and raised with it, can’t feel full without it. I’ll give a special mention to slimy too, because I love seafood.

2. Do you keep up any seasonal decorations outside of their season? No. My mom removes our Christmas decor by late January, which is when Christmas season ends here. We don’t decorate for other holidays.

3. Can you remember the most awkward situation you've ever been in? What happened? Ugh god. Any time I’m left alone with Gab’s dad is bound to be awkward because he’s very quiet and stoic and I tend to be a vibrant, cheery people-pleaser and nothing I do will muster more than two words out of him...but our most awkward moment has to be when I was at their place and he had to leave to run some errands. I stood up and walked over to give him a hug, but for some reason the floor was slippery and I started to do the world’s clumsiest and longest stumble. As an instinct, I held on to his arm and shirt so that I wouldn’t fall flat on my face. It was terrible and nothing I could’ve done or said would’ve saved that situation. EUGH I’m wincing right now lmao

4. Can you remember the most scary situation you've ever been in? What happened? [trigger warning] Would have to be the time when my grandfather got too drunk off his ass that he physically assaulted one of my cousins, then a toddler. My aunt (cousin’s mom) is a little on the delicate and petite side and couldn’t do anything to confront my grandpa, who went on his rage for like 10, 15 minutes. Certainly felt like forever. Nothing has traumatized me more and that’s saying a lot, considering it’s been 13 years and I’ve been through tons of shitty situations.

5. Do you do anything unusual to help you concentrate? It’s not very weird but I did install an extension on my browser that would let me list certain sites (usually social media) I’d want blocked whenever I have work. I suppose not everyone has that kind of program so it kinda counts as unusual.

6. Do you ever wonder what your parents were like as children/teenagers? With my dad, yes. My mom tells me enough stories. I know her family hit a rough patch when she was a teenager and they had to sell a bunch of their stuff, including a grand piano. She went from living a comfortable life to having to skip meals in college because she only had enough money for her daily commute.

7. Do you think suicide is ever "okay?" Groan, this is so triggering. I’m not elaborating on this, soz.

8. Would you rather a close family member/close friend/significant other die of suicide or murder? Why is this? “>> I think having to deal with a murder investigation would be terribly messy and intrusive, and would add more trauma on top of what I’m already dealing with.” < All of this. You don’t always get closure with murders, too. And I would hate that.

9. In your opinion, what is the worst thing someone could ever do? Raping an infant is definitely up there for me.

10. In your opinion, what is the best thing someone could ever do? Be a positive change or impact in someone’s life. Idk, I’m easy to please.

11. Do you think about any fellow xangans outside of xanga? I’ll change the context of this question to Tumblr so I can answer it. And yes I do, sometimes. Not in a creepy way or anything; it usually happens when I encounter something in real life that I know another survey-taker likes.

12. What military installation is the closest to you? Fort Bonifacio.

13. Do you still open your windows during winter? We don’t get winter but yeah, December is the best time to leave the windows open throughout the night. It’s also a great time to be able to save on electricity haha

14. How cold is too cold? How hot is too hot? I’ve lived in a tropical country all my life so I’m a big-ass wimp when it comes to the cold, even though I love it more. I start shivering at around 23ºC. Too hot is anything reaching the 40s.

15. Would you rather lose both legs or both arms? Why? Legs. I use my hands a lot more, so it would be slightly more difficult if I suddenly had to move about without them.

16. If you committed a crime that landed you in prison for the rest of your life, but were given the option to receive the death sentence instead, which would you choose? Why? Death. I get to have the infamous ~last meal~. Lol in all seriousness though, I’d pick it because it would be a quick release for me, I guess. It’s a big reason why I’m not a fan of death penalty...it’s too easy an escape for criminals who deserve a lot worse.

17. Is there any specific album you can listen to in its entirety and enjoy every single song? After Laughter - Paramore

18. Would you rather be a famous movie star, television star, or musician? I don’t have talents that would make me succeed in any of these fields...I guess it’d be fun to be a movie star though.

19. If you are not religious, have you ever eaten dinner with a group of people that were and said grace before eating? How was this for you? If you are religious and say grace before dinner, have you ever eaten dinner with a group of people that weren't and didn't say grace before eating? How was this for you? Yes. I’m from a Catholic family, so we pray before every meal. I do a sign of the cross but barely, just so my mom sees I move my hands when we start the prayer; but I haven’t recited grace since I told myself I was going to be atheist.

20. Do you think an evil Santa or an evil Easter Bunny would make a better villain in a horror movie? I’d go with Evil Santa mostly because I have no attachment to the Easter Bunny whatsoever, and because it’d be hilarious to see a man with reindeer be mean.

21. Did you ever think any fictional story-book character was creepy as a child? Do you still think any of them are creepy? Yes. That girl who wears a ribbon around her neck still gives me the fucking creeps.

22. Would you rather wear nothing but white or nothing but black? Is there any color you'd actually want to wear head-to-toe? Black. I’ve done that many times, so it wouldn’t feel weird.

23. What physical/mental health problems run in your family? Do you have any of the same problems? I’m almost certain there are underlying issues on my mom’s side but seeing as none of us have ever gotten ourselves checked (and most of them don’t believe in mental health problems anyway) I doubt I’ll ever find out what exactly’s wrong.

24. What is your mental and physical health like right now? They are both doing surprisingly well considering how long I’ve had to stay home and how much everything has turned upside down. I’ve only had two bad breakdown in four months and I’ve since recovered from that nasty fever I got, so I can’t complain.

25. If you found a suitcase (with no information about the owner) with a million dollars inside of it , would you turn it into the police or keep it? Be honest. ;] “>> See, a million dollars is an exorbitant sum. There is no way I could just casually make off with a missing million and not suffer repercussions. It's just too much goddamn money, and in this particular scenario, it's highly likely that it's a trap of some sort (whether set for me, or set for someone else and my dumb ass just happened to stumble across it). I'm not dumb enough to try it.

Neither would I necessarily want to turn it in, because that might cause me to get involved in something I didn't want or need to be involved in. The most logical course of action for me would be to leave it the fuck alone.” < Yeup.

26. Would you rather gaze at the stars or clouds? Stars. The fact that they’re so much farther away makes them more fascinating to me.

27. Are they any foods you used to enjoy but no longer like? Are there any foods you used to dislike but now enjoy? There’s a certain brand of frozen sisig that I used to looooove and would have multiple servings of every time I had it. But I had it one too many times and now I can’t even stand the smell of it. On the other hand, I hated chicken curry as a kid, but I can’t get enough of it now.

28. Do you feel much older or younger than you are? Why? Neither. I just feel 22.

29. Did you get along with kids that were older or younger than you? I mostly got along with kids of the same age. I found younger kids too rowdy and being around older kids always felt intimidating.

30. Do you know any magic tricks? Nopes.

31. How much would life suck for you if you had a wheat allergy? A lot.

32. Are you able to watch gory scenes in movies? Why or why not? For sure. I always want to see how far FX artists can go; and if used correctly, gory scenes can be super integral to the movie. Midsommar is a really good example.

33. Do you constantly check the time? Does time seem to move quickly or slowly for you? Not anymore. I used to check it a lot while I was still in school. Sigh, I miss that life so much. Anyway, time definitely felt slower during the first few weeks of the lockdown, but now that I’m used to it days just fly by. I can hardly believe we’re nearly in the middle of July. So much of this year has been wasted. It’s miserable.

34. Would you rather live in a nice house in a bad location, or a less-than-nice house in a great location? I’m taking the great location. I don’t know if I can last living in a shady area, no matter how beautiful my house is.

35. Have you ever been a witness to a horrible crime? What happened? Domestic violence is the worst thing I can think of. I enumerated one of them in one of the earlier questions, but I witnessed several other cases as a kid.

#survey #surveys

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necropsittacus · 4 years

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tag game tagged by: @circus-to-air-missile name: ren. nickname: nope, unless occasionally being called "scientist" counts (which i am very fond of tbh). that said certain people might be permitted or even outright encouraged to come up with one for me (though i obv have veto power on anything i am called). i do quite like the concept, just like..."ren" doesn't really lend itself to nicknames, esp ones i wouldn't find vaguely undignified. (also yes ren is my real human first name not an internet pseudonym) zodiac: as far as i'm concerned i'm a scorpio. height: 5'7"-5'8" ish. measurements have varied. nationality: american languages: english is the only one i'm really fluent in; two years of college russian, conversational but not fluent. did japanese long enough that i can still understand some and i really want to start learning it seriously again, but i'm out of practice, barely literate (fuck if i remember most of the few kanji i knew to start with), and have limited vocabulary. similar situation for spanish. i've done other things (finnish, french, latin, a little bit of danish back in the day...) but either didn't get nearly as far to start with or have forgotten almost everything. favourite season: fall and winter favourite flower: idk i like roses i guess? honestly a lot of things though, i'm bad at favorites but Flowers Good favourite scent: fuck if i know tbh i barely smell things nail polish remover smells nice in a toxic chemicals kind of way? or cinnamon i love cinnamon favourite fictional character: far too many; most of my si's for a while have been media so this is uhh a Long List. examples include but are not limited to starscream obv (really most of decepticon high command; i am a lovey-dovey little bastard to most people's slight consternation), turin turambar, anakin skywalker, ??most of the skeksis??, king ghidorah, sansa stark, probably still vriska on some level... coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: tea. hot chocolate good though if i'm willing to play the "will this specific chocolate item at this specific time make me vaguely ill" roulette. can't have coffee. dogs or cats: birds and reptiles lmao; fuck this dichotomy. but cats because i'm a bit scared of dogs. tbh i'm a bit scared of cats too but it's more "ah fuck i will Break This Animal and also it could hurt me i'd better be careful and give it space," where with dogs...it's more Immediate Concern About Oh God Look At Those Teeth. i don't hate them and they can be cute but i would prefer them to be a safe distance away from me. number of blankets: one at a time unless it's very cold. i have four blankets in my room but they all have slightly different homes and functions. dream trip: antarctic pelagic birding tbh; there's a lot of places i'd like to go but that's one that i think about relatively often blog established: this one probably uhh sometime around early 2015? sometime while i was in high school idk. but i remade; i've been on this hellsite since like 2013 Maybe? random fact: uhh idk is this meant to be a Fact About Me or just like a fact in general? Fact In General: penguins are (or were last i checked) thought to be more closely related to petrels and albatrosses than any other living group, which is wild because they went apeshit in like almost exactly opposite directions re the whole "flying" thing. fun fact about Me: i've fallen asleep in the vatican multiple times gender: The Void; horrible gaping wound in reality; boy but a little to the left; seeker. i tend to find Standard Gender Words that other people use to feel somewhat reductive; traditionally masculine terminology is acceptable. current time: 7:18 pm favourite musical artists: once again being able to pick favorites is not stored in the ren but i'm still on my months-long puscifer kick? uhh i think i'm legally required to say marina and the diamonds every time i get this question bc she was such a formative influence, what i've heard by garbage i've liked, i like starset. that really isn't a representative sample of anything though song stuck in my head: keep myself alive - get scared last movie i saw: the color out of space last thing i googled: thomas aquinas other blogs: edgy aesthetic sideblog i hardly ever remember exists anymore @theophagies. i've got a nsfw sideblog for a safe place to overshare about my thought processes and latest fixations around such things as needed, but i'm not giving the url to that out publicly. also i keep meaning to make a proper kin blog bc i don't really want to talk about that a ton on main. besides that, a few like vent or character-specific aesthetic sideblogs i haven't touched in years. lucky number: don't think i have one? if i have to pick a number at random for like. idk theater seats or whatnot. i tend to go for 8s or 13s, the former for embarrassing reasons, though. currently wearing: star wars t-shirt, black jeans, and octopus hat. dream job: some sort of bio thing i think? failing dark god-emperor of the world of course. maybe marine bio or genetics; i'm not sure favourite foods: general tso's tofu, cake, coffee creamer, this one place down the street's vegetarian lak sa which i had all of once but it impressed itself on my memory. in general, fried/crunchy things good, and Cake Texture good. i'm probably forgetting things tbh instruments: no. i did violin in elementary school and that's the main one i still have any sense of fondness for (obligatory piano and recorder lessons as a kid but didn't care) but would have no idea what to do with one now. also did vocal ensemble in high school; i DO miss that. favourite song: can't pick favorites. brain currently stuck on passive - a perfect circle. tag: uh. @red--thedragon @autisticsansa @outlier-roddy idk if yall have done this already but if desired. ALSO anyone else who wants to please say i tagged you!! my brain’s kind of shorting out but i love hearing things about people

#tag memes #thank you!!#long post

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toaquiprashippar · 5 years

Text

My Rewatch Notes :)

Hiiiiii guys!

I know everyone’s been doing their own rewatch and I’m sure none of the things I’ll write here will be news but I just thought I would share a few things I noticed as I watched everything. I think It’s actually my first COMPLETE rewatch, I freaking loved it. I just finished it and I’m in tears. BUT I did take some notes and commented on them here, so here goes nothing. LOL

SEASON 1

I love how when Jon claims he’s not a Stark, he finds his direwolf which is the ultimate proof yuup he is one.

The fact that Robert threatens Ned with the very things Joffrey does after? Damn, this show is cruel.

Maester Aemon’s words tends to stay with Jon and I bet your ass he will think back to Maester Aemon’s words on how honor is nothing compared to the love of a family. He thought Ned would always choose honor because he always did the right thing, yet he compromised his honor for Jon, which Jon thought he would neeeever…I know he’ll be upset at first but have you ever considered how deeply this will strike him? How he will realize he’s been deeply loved this entire time?

SEASON 2

Was not a bad season, actually it was a very good one but I didn’t take many notes here, sorry.

But we cannot avoid mentioning the House of the Undying, Dany does not touch the throne and goes to what it looks like the Wall. Do notice that when she’s in the throne room, The Red Keep seems to be destroyed. Not like it was in s7, but maybe how it will be in s8? But she does change her course to go to what her heart’s desire, love, family. She is so happy to see her former husband and her baby, but she leaves them because she knows they’re not real. The dragons call her and she returns to them, it doesn’t mean she’ll never get to the throne room again or that she will never rule, it means that had other priorities at some point, but her children reminded her of reality and she went back for them. I’m saying this because people love to use this as a foreshadowing for her not becoming a Queen. So if you’re going there, I am as well.

SEASON 3

Arya telling Gendry he can be her family is a total foreshadowing to me and no one will ever change my mind but you are allowed to rub it in my face if s8 ends and they’re not together, although you’ll be making fun of a sad shipper.

Littlefinger actually describes many of the upcoming deaths as he speaks to Sweetrobin, I nearly fell off my chair the moment I realized that one LOL SO FREAKING CLEVER, It’s one of the reasons why I love this show.

SEASON 4

Tyrion’s speech at his trial is one of the best scenes of the entire show. Of any character! That’s it, thanks for coming to season 4 and my ted talk.

SEASON 5

Tyrion asks Ser Jorah when will they go back to build cities like Valyria, I thought: “Hmmmmmm, maybe a hope for the future? Nothing is said without a reason at this amazing show.”

I really hope Jaime saying he wants to die in the arms of the woman he loves does not mean that I get to see Jaime dying in Brienne’s arms. Or else there’ll be tears. LOADS. Like hours of it.

This one is nothing new, I just wanted to point out that Jon refused a beautiful woman like Melisandre because he was still in love with Ygritte, yet…he slept with Daenerys. Y’all know where I’m going with this but I just would not miss the opportunity to point it out! :D

It’s pretty obvious by now, but I loved how Sam assured Olly that Jon always comes back, maybe this was a foreshadowing for only S6E2, but who knows, for s8? A fangirl can dream.

SEASON 6

Theon says he will never be able to make amends for the things that he’s done for the Starks, maybe he will…in s8? I know he’s saved Sansa and that’s a good way to redeem yourself, but he was partially to blame for Robb and Catelyn’s deaths (he betrayed and weakened Robb’s campaign), Rickon’s as well since he only ends up where he did because he escaped Theon in the first place. Maybe this is how he goes? If he does at all, I mean. Maybe he either saves Bran or Sansa? Just thought it was worth mentioning.

Tommen tells Cersei all the things he should have done to the High Sparrow, and some of those stuff like killing the man and destroying the Sept, our Mad Queen actually does, so I thought that was actually a clever and discreet one.

Olenna tells Cersei she’s alone, surrounded by thousands of enemies, left by her brother and all the family she had. She asks Cersei what would she do, kill everyone? Well, I bet she’ll try at some point in s8, and I though this sounded like a proper foreshadowing. I’ll let you guys decide for yourselves.

Is it just me or we get to the see the face the Waif wears as she attack Arya on the bridge when she first meets the Hall of Faces?

Arya deciding who she is, yup, I cried AGAIN.

One of my biggest problems with Sansa was her behavior towards the Battle of the Bastards, she could have saved maaaaany lives just by saying a few words. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and mine of her changed after 6.09, not gonna lie.

Sansa murdering Ramsay was probably one of my favoirte Sansa moments of all show.

SEASON 7

Arya amazingly starts the season with the beeeeautiful words: “leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe.”, right? Well, next episode Olenna clears things up telling Danny is no sheep, she’s a dragon, therefore to be a dragon. If Dany is no sheep, then a diehard fan can assume she’s safe? Or not and just ignore me LOL

Jaime being told Cersei will be the death of him by Olenna kind of breaks my heart because fuck she will :( That’s a sad but accurate foreshadowing to me, honestly. PLUS: ‘TELL CERSEI, I WANT HER TO KNOW IT WAS ME’ will always be one of the best quotes in Game of Thrones!

Jon punching Littlefinger has nothing to do with him being in love with Sansa, he’s protecting the sister he knows been through enough shit, especially when it comes to men. Sorry to burst some shippers bubble.

Melisandre letting us know Varys and her will be killed this season, WAY TO SPOILER THE SHOW, bitch. LOL

WHY THE FUCK WOULD THE HOUND THROW STONES AT THESE BITCHES? Sandor, bitch, I expected more from you.

Drogon is so close to the NK, and Rhaegal is not far behind, why would he attack Viserion? Maybe because he knows something we don’t and I’m eager to learn. It’s not a foreshadowing, just a questioning.

The way Rhaegal cries in the back as Jon gets pissed and attacks it’s almost as if we’re seeing the physical manifestation of his pain, it’s his pure connection to his Targaryen blood. That scene is amazing and I don’t have words to say how this “little” thing affected me.

The way everyone is shocked beyond words when Viserion dies is amazing, nothing is deadlier than dragons in the world of Ice and Fire, and for them to see a mighty creature as a dragon to be murder by this villain, shows them how helpless they are and how serious the threat is, if a dragon is not invincible, what does that make them? If a dragon can be killed, anyone else can as well. It’s a short moment but one that says a lot to me. Powerful af.

ONE WORD: CLEGANEBOWL.

“Jon is young and unmarried. Daenerys is young and unmarried…together they would be difficult to defeat.” I would love to take that as a foreshadowing, so keep it mind, Cersei and everyone else out for my babes.

BTW, can we talk about Ser Jorah’s ‘fuck me’ face when Dany tells that she and Jon will sail together, AND YOU CAN SEE THE HIDDEN MISCHIEF IN JON’S EYES! LOL I live for that.

Jon telling Theon how he does not have to choose, that he’s both a Greyjoy and a Stark is a delicious foreshadowing to me on how he’ll come in terms with his own parentage reveal in time, he’ll see that he is not only a Stark and a Targaryen but also a Snow, and for him to somehow be in peace with it. I can’t wait, honestly.

I think it makes sense that Arya and Sansa won’t like Dany at first, Daenerys is beautiful and charming, they will think Jon is in love or smt, I mean…can you blame them for being wary of anyone outside their family? But I bet all of your asses that in time, they’ll see Dany for what she truly is, not just worthy, but family as well. That line at the end of 7.06 between Dany and Jon could very well mean this! :)

So, just to point out a thought: Jaime and Cersei’s child will not be born and the dead will probably come South. UGH, season 8 cannot come soon enough!

“He loved her...and she loved him.” But sure, political!j0n

In a season that defines identities, such as Arya with her ‘Home’ theme, Bran claiming to be the Three Eyed Raven and not Bran anymore, Sansa to be totally comfortable with her place as Lady of Winterfell… Jon leaves Winterfell and goes to Dragonstone (to seek dragonglass but we know what he finds…love, and we find his identity). Not to mention he finishes the season going back to Winterfell, but also with the promise of going back South again to fight for Dany. If that’s not a claim on his identity, IDK WHAT IS.

It's hardly a final project for a degree or masters but I thought it was worth writing down a few things that caught my attention. Whatever I did not write, I was probably either too lazy or too comfortable lying down to take notes.

Anyway, what do you guys think?

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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years

Text

questionable government spies chapter 14

no your eyes do not deceive you, this is chapter 14 of spies

heres the masterlist in case you forgot what happened (I did too dw)

______

ship: eventual sprace, platonic ralbert, jack is madly in love with Katherine but she doesnt like smol emotion bois who drive vans

warnings: race drinks far too much sugar, race is a dumbass, Albert is Mad cause race is a reckless little shit with a death wish, some Anger Words, hibachi chefs, fear of crayons

editing: maybe idk havent decided yet

words: idk maybe like 2k

______

Race scrambled down the hallway, buttoning the last three buttons on his collared shirt as he attempted not to bump into every person he ran past. The one thing that Checks had told him was to not be late, and yet here he was. He had even left before Albert had woken up and hadn’t had time to write him a note and therefore had exactly no backup. Hopefully nothing would go wrong.

Luckily, Race managed to slip into the door to the meeting room just as it was closing. Immediately he saw Spot across the room and gave him a wink. Spot, in turn, glared at him - probably because he was late. Race considered sticking out his tongue and crossing his eyes at Spot but Checks started speaking before he had the chance.

“-hope you all brought your big boy pants,” Checks was saying as she distributed a half page of hardly useful information - something Race was beginning to assume was normal around here. He briefly skimmed it and when he didn't see the words “self sacrifice,” “imprisonment,” or “hibachi chefs” he folded it neatly and shoved it into his shirt pocket for Albert and Jack to analyze later.

Speaking of Albert and Jack, why weren’t they being regular nuisances in his comms like usual? Race reached up to his ear to fiddle with the device and see if he had put it in backwards (something he did far more often than he would like to admit), only to realize that the reason why Albert and Jack weren’t talking to him was because he had left the device in his locker. Despite his super spy training, Race did the very thing he was trained not to do when something bothered him: he groaned.

Luckily for him though, the groan happened to coincide with Checks announcing their mission. What the mission was, Race couldn’t say because he had been too busy thinking about his missing comms.

So when Checks stopped next to him and gave him what could only be described as The Look, Race felt a small part of his soul shrivel up and die from fear.

“You got a problem, Marx?” she glared. “You scared of crayons or somethin?”

Crayons? What the hell was she talking about? “No,” he said in his most badass voice.

She snorted in response, but continued her briefing nonetheless, leaving Race to wonder who the hell would be afraid of crayons of all things? Hibachi chefs were way more terrifying, they literally thought they possessed big enough dick energy to play with fire! Their dicks weren’t even that big either. Race would know, he had dated one once.

He tried to tune back into whatever Checks was saying so that he could at least report something remotely useful back to Albert once he retrieved his comms, but was interrupted by Darrel tugging on his sleeve.

Race looked down at the kid next to him. Today he was sporting a shirt with a giant tootsie roll pop on it. And he was definitely wearing silly bandz. “May I help you?” Race asked skeptically, unsure of how to talk to children who seemed to be stuck in 2009.

“I’m afraid of crayons,” he whispered.

It took every ounce of Race’s training to keep his face straight.

“Well, not every color, just the Burnt Sienna one. And only cause when I was 7 my fish died cause he ate one,” he clarified, brows furrowed together in thought. “Which colors are you scared of?”

Race sighed. Never in his life did he think that talking to a confused fifteen year old about crayon phobias would be part of his FBI agent skill set.

Oh what the hell, he thought dejectedly. I’m not gonna get any information out of this briefing anyway.

•••

As it turned out, Race had not only forgotten his comms in his locker, but he’d also somehow forgotten to tell Albert that they were getting a mission assignment today. Spot had laughed hysterically when Race went out to the parking lot to climb dejectedly into Jack’s van only to realize that it wasn't there because the two of them were working their shifts at Medda’s coffee shop. Because Race had forgotten to tell them that they were needed as backup.

Race spent quite a long time on the subway thinking about what an idiot he was.

After imagining every possible situation that could have unfolded because he didn't have back up - of which there were 27 and only 5 of them resulted in severe injury or death! - he arrived at the coffee shop. Hopefully Albert wouldn’t go too hard on him, he was being particularly protective over him on this case for some reason.

The bell next to the door dinged as he pushed open the door and slumped over to the counter where - thankfully - Romeo, Katherine and Jack were working.

“Well don't you just look like a little ray of darkness” a voice said as he approached the counter.

“Hey Ro,” Race sighed. “Gimmie the sugariest thing you can come up with.”

Race looked up at Romeo’s face for the first time and saw that his mouth had curved into a wickedly mischievous grin that Race knew he should fear, especially since he was entirely certain that Romeo could single handedly give him a sugar high that could last upwards of a week.

“Bad day?” Romeo asked as he began to make Race’s drink. He knew Race only subjected himself to his drink creations when he was entirely desperate.

“I forgot to put my comms in, and then we had a mission assignment briefing and I realized after that I had also forgotten to tell Al and Jack so I had no backup and Al’s going to kill me,” Race mumbled into his elbow.

“Well,” Romeo pondered for a moment as he frothed what Race hoped was milk, “at least if Al does kill you you won’t have to fill out the paperwork.”

Race lifted his head to glare at his friend. “Not helping Ro.”

Romeo shrugged as he put an ungodly amount of whipped cream on Race’s mystery drink. “I never said I was trying to be helpful. That’s just the facts.”

“Punk.” Race let his head fall back down on the counter.

Romeo huffed in annoyance. “Would a punk go out of his way to make you only the greatest drink not on the menu?”

Race peeked up from his state of misery to gaze upon the creation Romeo was holding out to him.

It was in a hot pink mug - the mugs at the shop were all brown where did he find that? - and was topped with a mountain of whipped cream and chocolate shavings, rainbow sprinkles, and what appeared to be crushed oreos -again, where did he find that in a coffee shop? Race was immediately afraid of its contents and silently cursed himself for moping instead of watching what Romeo had put in the drink.

“I’m not sure,” Race said, taking the drink from him gingerly as if it would explode any second - which, knowing Romeo was a high probability. “I haven’t met any other punks.”

“What about me?” Jack asked, choosing that very moment to walk past him and Romeo. Today he was wearing a Fall Out Boy shirt and a gray beanie. It looked horrendous with the light pink apron, but Race assumed that that was what Jack had been going for.

“You’re not a punk,” Race said distractedly, trying to decide if he actually wanted to drink the mess Romeo had given him. “Now, Albert in Budapest, that was punk.”

“You and I remember Budapest very differently.”

Race’s heart sank as he heard Albert approaching him from behind. “Hey Albie,” he sighed.

Even though he wasn't looking at Albert, Race could feel his steely gaze as he took in the khaki pants and half unbuttoned, rumpled white shirt that gave away the fact that he had been at YMONY. “Why are you dressed like that?”

Race shot a what do I say look at Romeo who in turn gave him a your mistake your problem look back. Race flipped him off with his eyes before turning to Albert.

“Let’s go sit down and I’ll explain.”

Albert nodded, motioning for Jack to follow them.

Race took a deep breath and tasted his drink. It tasted like candied marshmallows covered in caramel. Honestly, not bad.

Albert led them over to a table in the back corner, pulled out a chair and sat on it backwards. “Explain yourself.”

“Okay so,” Race placed his drink down on the table. “I went to the headquarters cause we had a mission assignment briefing and I forgot to put my comms in but then after I finished I realized that I forgot to tell you guys so I didn't have backup and I’m sorryitwasanaccidentpleasedontkillme.” He stared down at the table, waiting for Albert to say something.

Instead though, it was Jack that broke the silence. “What’s the mission.”

“Breaking into a crayon factory and 6000 units of Neon Carrot crayons.” Race couldn't help but crack a smile.

“Neon Carrot?” Jack laughed. “I don't believe you.”

Race reached into his pocket for the info sheet and smoothed it out, sliding it in front of Jack. “Believe me now?”

Jack’s eyes scanned the paper quickly before he busted out laughing. “Well,” he said in between giggles. “At least we know whoever’s in charge of this dumb thing has a sense of humor.”

“We’d know who was in charge if we were actually working and not getting distracted,” Albert mumbled.

Jack and Race shared a look across the table, clearly trying to figure out what to say when they were saved by Katherine.

“Hey Jack- whoa!” She tripped over a loose floor board, falling into the table.

“Kath!” Jack jumped up to help her and Race couldn't help but roll his eyes. That boy was so hopelessly in love and it was going to end badly for everyone involved.

Katherine brushed off Jacks help, using the table instead to right herself. “Romeo needs help working the counter and my shifts about to end, do you mind?”

“No, no of course not.” Jack gave Race and Albert a nod before walking back towards the counter.

“That boy is so helplessly in love,” Race commented, watching as Jack tried to walk as close to Katherine as he possibly could without touching her.

“So are you,” Albert scoffed.

Race tore his gaze from the two of them and turned to face Albert. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You are in love with Spot.” He stared at Race accusingly.

Race was taken aback. “Am not!” Albert hardly ever meddled in his love life. And besides, he was not in love with Spot.

“Yes you are and it’s ruining the dynamics of the mission!” Albert pulled at his hair in frustration. “You’re getting sloppy, you didn’t have backup, you didn’t have comms, what if something went wrong? I can’t have you dying over a stupid boy, Antonio! We’re not 12! We have jobs, and lives! You’re putting the whole integrity of the operation at stake with your slip ups and you need to be more careful! He’s just a stupid boy, he’s not worth it!”

Race, who had been staring daggers at Albert during his heated speech, stood up from the table. “If you’re even suggesting for a second that I would put all of our lives at stake, then you clearly don’t know me,” he spat, shoving his chair against the table with a loud bang and stomping off toward the exit, letting the door slam behind him.

Albert DaSilva could go fuck himself.

•••

Albert watched as Race stormed out of the shop, immediately regretting everything that he had said to him. Of course he knew that Race was already tense being back in New York and he had probably just made it worse.

He just cared about him, and didn’t want to let his friend’s carelessness cost him something important. Like his life.

Albert stood up, kicking his chair and then cursing when he remembered a few seconds later that kicking chairs did not solve any problems and just made his foot hurt. He fought back tears that he told himself were from the sharp pain in his foot.

How could he have been so stupid?

Dejectedly, Albert strode over to his guitar and picked it up, absently plucking at the strings before settling on a song to match his feelings.

“I remember when you were all mine, but you’re changing in front of my eyes, what can I say

Now that I’m not the fire in the cold, now that I’m not the hand that you hold, as you’re walking away.

Will you call me to tell me you’re alright? Cause I worry about you the whole night. Don’t leave me this way, I won’t sleep till you’re safe inside. If you’re home I just hope that you’re sober, is it time to let go now you’re older? Don’t make my mistakes, I won’t sleep till you’re safe inside.”

______

o shit he maddd

next up: its crayon stealing time kiddos (btw neon carrot is a real crayons crayon color)

heres the song Albert sings

the story is actually finally picking up thank hecc

feedback is always appreciated hmu to be on the taglist

tag list

@fairly-awkward-trashcan

@well-the-kids-do-too

@racetrackcook

@ughwaitwhat

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@voice-foundshoe-lost

@stopthe-presses

@ridin-in-style

@pinecovewoods

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing

@getchapapes

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen

@stellar-alpaca

@saxoph-ella

@smolcanadiankid

@disney-princess-sized

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

@insane-tomato

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@thatfancyclam

@myidkwhatmynameisblog

@legoflambwrites

@not-a-scab

@albertdasillvaprotectionsquad

@entschuldigung-bitches

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@tea-and-theater

@seasickdolphin

@auspicioustarantula

@newsies-of-ny

@mrs-higgins

@spot-me50-papes

@papesdontsellthemselves

@deathcast-s

@the-poodles-of-pulitzer

@hopefully-not-the-ghostbusters

@humanracoon

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@holistically-eating-cookie-cake

@nico-nat

#saphie scribbles #spy boys #hibachi chefs are SCARY OKAY #did u catch my marvel reference #hehe #Albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #romeo #jack kelly #Katherine plumber #hehehehehe #I lov this series #newsies #newsies fic #sprace #ralbert

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cockbiteproductions · 5 years

Note

primed to scream PRIMES! PRIMES! PRIMES!!

f i just typed the answer to most of these questions and chrome crashed so christ i have to fucking retype all these but much condensed because i am lazy.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars. but only milk. my mom buys exclusively Very Dark Chocolate though so i usually just stare at those and Wish.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

well bubblegum or cotton candy flavored stuff neither they both taste nauseating. if we’re talking about the actual stuff then bubblegum because i can pop it. this actually reminded me i have gum in the pantry from the beginning of the semester i havent even opened yet so now my roommates have you to thank for popping noises the next hr or so

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles because i dont like to drink soda quickly and so i want to close it and not let the carbon dioxide escape. soda cans a close second because it’s satisfying to open the tab.

7. earbuds or headphones?

wired earbuds because headphones are too big and clunky and you cant easily lay on your side with headphones on. but if my next pair of earbuds break within a month i might consider Switching because ive had 3 break on me in the past month and half and im at my wits end with earbuds.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i dont eat much for breakfast cause i want to sleep in until the last possible moment and i get stomachaches when i eat a lot in the morning but ill eat a piece of bread and yogurt maybe.

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring but that’s just because i havent used a lanyard before. i think i would like a lanyard. im constantly looking for my keys in bags.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

this pair of black sandals that i have tan lines on my feet from how much ive worn them

19. sleeping position?

ill sleep however... i like sleeping on my left side. on my stomach with my head to the right. on my back with my arms crossover my chest to keep warm. at the end of the bed with my head where my feet should be. i dont move at all when i sleep so freshman year when i had a lofted bed i think my roommate was a bit concerned in the beginning when i refused a bedrail because she thought i might fall. i never fell which was nice.

23. strange habits?

oh man idk i probably have a lot of those but nothing i can think about right now when im being put on the spot.

in elementary school i used to refuse to step on the yellow tiles at school.

29. best way to bond with you?

talk to me about the stuff i love!!!! and watch the stuff i love with me!!!! i am always down to [whatever the rabb.it replacement is these days] stuff with people and just generally both yell at each other and be passionate about stuff. currently what im passionate about is the stuff im screaming over at @winstonbillions so talk to me about that stuff!! please. i am always 3 seconds from screaming about ANY of that stuff.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

idk about outfits to kick ass and take names but i have outfits where i get my ass kicked and name taken aka what i wear to exams. which is my tower of pimps shirt which ive deemed lucky. is it lucky in any way? no, but i’m hoping if i wear it enough to exams it might.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag. suitcases are so large and unwieldily. that reminds me i have a suitcase of winter clothes in my trunk i need to take out.

41. last person you texted?

as in actual texts on my phone? that would be my dad. asking him if i should drop my class im failing.

as for the last person i instant messaged, that would be one of my mutuals through my musical theater sideblog im currently yelling at about [musical theater related interest]. im not kidding guys talk to me about the stuff i post about on @winstonbillions PLEASE

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

2 months ago i would have said hoodie but im kinda becoming a cardigan kind of person now. theyre just Soft and and Long and Casual and i love them. hoodies are too hard to take off.

47. favorite type of cheese?

mild cheddar, american, and mozzarella. i actually only Recently started cataloging cheeses in my brain to their actual names so for my entire life i was like i just like cheese even though there are certain ones i hate like swiss and blue cheese.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

a bit cold and a bit tired from typing all the answers to all these asks tbh. but other than that good. i just cut my nails because they were atrociously long.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“worm” or “fuck” or “no!” according to my roommate

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

oh my ogdokh oym ogdos sd fdospohm to mo edf ucmign fugod mfyo uacant just ask me this im going to absolutely die

in absolutely no order, all from completely from memory, and favorite for a variety of different reasons

“fuck you, math man. if you’re such a genius why can’t you count to loyalty” - mafee in 4x11 lamster billions

“captain, he think, and feels that much more powerful” - luminousbeings in you don’t have to (say yes) the star trek fic

“more than you know, i understand wanting to walk away from the jedi”“i know.” - anakin skywalker and ahsoka tano in 5x12 the wrong jedi star wars the clone wars

“i won’t leave you, not this time.” “then you will die” - ahsoka tano and darth vader in 2x12 twilight of the apprentice star wars rebels

“there is nothing so pure as a man on a mission. when faced with the fire, never quivers or runs. there is nothing so noble as sticking together, for lonely is the life lead when sticking to its guns." - narrator in bloodsong of love by joe iconis

“now i’ve got myself a name and i’m ready to risk it with a battle cry disguised as a sing-along” - never heard nothing by joe iconis

“i’m frickin done with being the loser, the wuss, the underdog. being the misfit, the old school analog. being the oddball, the weakling freak. the failure, the sucker, the please-don’t-speak. oh i can’t hardly wait for the moment when i’m not the loser the geek or whatever, ever again” - jeremy heere in be more chill by joe iconis

“i’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that i am” - various in be more chill by joe iconis

“q is for quantitative, baby!” - winston in 4x12 extreme sandbox billions

“the cheering is just as important as the song” - lisa and ms. werring in the black suits by joe iconis

“first, best destiny” - spock in star trek ii wrath of khan

“be proud of your place in the cosmos. it is small, and yet it is. how unlikely. how fantastic, and stupid. and excellent.” - cecil in welcome to night vale old oak doors part b

“are we living a life that is safe from harm? of course not. we never are. the questions is are we living a life that is worth the harm?” - cecil in welcome to night vale parade day

“as I turned and my eyes beheld you, i displayed emotion. i beg forgiveness.” - spock somewhere in star trek tos

“the sky collapsed without a sound. these broken pieces hit the ground. the rain fell down around me and i drowned, but i will save you.” - part of me from dear evan hansen

“this is, after all, the story of how i died” - epsilon in the rvb13 trailer

“and while the law has many punishments for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors we inflict on ourselves.” - the director in the s6 finale of red vs blue

that was in no way an exhaustive list but all i could think of at the moment

67. good luck charms?

not really any tbh. i try to wear my tower of pimps shirt whenever i take an exam but that’s about it.

71. least favorite pattern?

what does this even fucking mean?????? i will say the observer design pattern in programming because i don’t understand it well despite having used it twice now.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

oh god idk why are all these questions getting harder. nothing i can think of at the moment.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i say school id tentatively, but neither of them looks great. my school id photo was a selfie.

83. writing or drawing?

writing. i wish to GOD i could draw and i probably could if i put in the amount of time i need to to learn how to draw but im a lazy bastard. but i’m not that great at writing either as i’ve found out. everything is way too short and out of character and too venty and i am weird about letting people i know read what i write (sorry @ all the people who keep asking me to let them read my writing. it’s not that great you’re not missing out at all and i hate the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known) and i abandon ideas literal minutes after getting them.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

what the fuck kind of question is this?????? i GUESS the answer should be me but uh i am not even putting myself before myself as i am procrastinating on a shitload of homework with this. i guess my “close” friends. they’re pretty chill. but generally ill do anything for anyone all you have to do is ask.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4, my own, my home landline, my dad’s cell, and my dad’s work.

#not rt #teresa answers stuff #long post #jesus christ sorry for the infodump #Anonymous

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perfectlyimperfect9416 · 4 years

Text

If ya wanted to know 💁

From the time I was born - I was neglected by my biological mother.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 7. (Something I've never told my family.)

I was emotionally & mentally abused by family, and 'friends'

When I was in 3rd AND 4th grade, someone tried to abduct me. I was scared of black smaller cars for years. I told my parents, and they were pissed I went to a friend's house instead of going home. To an empty house. They were pissed I went somewhere safe.

Because of the abuse - I started self harming. In the beginning it was just taking a ton of tylonal. Like...half a bottle a day, and hardly eating. It turned to day drinking, to self harm, to not eating, to drugs to self harm again.

I got fed up. I left home at 16. The cops tried to get me to atleast go to school. But I could not find a damn reason to get off the drugs, or cutting.

I was physically abused from 16-17.

I had a miscarriage because of the physical abuse. ( Which is something I have only told very few close people in my life, I never told my sister when she had hers and she yelled in my face ' YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS'. I didn't tell my best friend for years. I never did, and never will tell my dad.)

I told the guy, out of respect, and he told me he'd kill me. He'd come to OUR town and shoot me.

I moved in with my grandparents, got smacked across my face by my grandmother.

I left her place, and not long after I got pregnant with my now 7 yr old.

I got into a relationship that I thought was going to be my last. And got pregnant with my now 5 yr old ~ we broke up when I was like..2-3 months pregnant.

I hardcore relapsed. I ate only as much as I had to for the baby. I was able to hide all my cuts from drs.

2.5/3 years later, as my heart healed, and I didn't feel like absolute crap constantly, I decided ' hey! How much harm could a new guy do? ' I must have asked too damn soon.

This guy was so physically, mentally, sexually, and verbally abusive. I still cringe when people say certain things. Or when people use certain tones. I can't even wear sweaters that are too high on my neck. I constantly have panic attacks. I still feel disconnected when it comes to sex. I hardcore relapsed then.

Then... I started talking to *you*, you just made it all go away. You made it easier. You're so kind hearted, no matter how closed off you are. You sat there when I got the call saying the previous guy was caught and I full out bawled having a panic attack and couldn't stop, you told me it was gunna be okay. That was almost two years ago. Its you - that has actually calmed some of my demons. It's you, and you alone that made me cry the last time I cut. We were just visiting, and I was so scared of your reaction, I was so scared you'd hate me for what I do to myself. I was so scared you'd leave. Yet - you sat there, and you stayed. You fucking stayed. You gave me a reason not to. And it wasn't for you, it was for my kids. It's been you that has helped me go into public and not freak out by a smell, a sound, a voice, anything. Its you that's actually treated me pretty damn good. Sure, like every relationship, we had ups & downs, but there was nothing we couldn't get through, nothing that couldn't have been fixed by sitting down and talking to one another.

And now.. well.. I fucked up. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't stop crying. I want to relapse...again. and I miss you. All day, everyday. I'm sorry.

And in reality, idk if the person I want to read this even will.. but if he does.. well...maybe now he'll understand a little of why I am the way I am...

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maggyme13 · 5 years

Text

Request List:

Because I happe to get a lot more Requests than usual, I decided to make a Post that contains any outstanding Requests. I will add new ones whenever they are requested. So if I don´t answer to your ask, please take a look at this post :)

The order in which they are listed, is NOT the order I am going to write them in.

I write whenever I feel like writing/ have ideas. So it might take days, weeks or longer before it will be posted!

BE AWARE THAT THEY MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!

The Requests are under the cut:

1.I want to request an angsty one. Where reader is mutant, like she is daughter of Charles and Magneto (genetically) so she can bend metals & read minds. Fury takes her in as she looses her X-Men family. But every one in avengers is not happy about her arrival & are very cold towards her(ik they won't do it but still). She's alienated & is left all alone. End as you like

2.thor reader Steve smut inspired by Steve lifting hammer? Like reader is mjolnir, like Thor can get his full power only when reader is around cus she is his soulmate. Then Steve reaches his full potential learning it's not Peggy but reader is his soulmate. They have sex rough one maybe?

3.Thor & reader. Where their marriage is arranged & he's not very happy about it, he loathes her basically all angst. Then leaves fir Ragnarok events but when he comes back & sees how she's protecting everyone & fighting for Asgard he falls in love with her apologizes & passionate sex maybe

4.Are you comfortable with dark Clint? Endgame Clint maybe who's very pissed & unlike movie no chance of getting his family back. So takes it out on reader who works for avengers, he thinks she hasn't lost anything & takes all his anger on her. Maybe tries to impregnate her to start a family?

5.dark Thor? Endgame Thor preferably. Where instead of gaurdians, he goes to reader who thinks he's dead and sorta moves on with life so he goes all dark.

6.I wanted to request. In really horny rn so please don't judge 🙈🙈. Can you do a really dark noncon reader, Thor, Steve & Tony. Where maybe they all lost to thanos, and take it out on reader

7.I'm fighting with body imagery issues. keeping this in loop, can you do a Thor reader smut? Angsty fluffyish

8.dark Thor & dark Peter quill. Where maybe when they travel together they find reader(waitress, Idk just a thought) & take her noncon?

9.reader, Bucky & Steve? Where Bucky is dating Steve and reader as well, reader is oblivious about Steve but Steve knows( loves reader as well) Steve makes move on reader, reader feels guilty & tells Bucky he laughs it off saying he dates her cus he wants Steve to date her too. She gets pissed & stuff. Lil angsty & fluffy smutty maybe

10. noncon? Where reader is stripper & Bucky always visits her place & drools over from afar(reader is oblivious) One day she wears captain America themed lingerie & does her pole dance. Bucky looses his cools & after show goes after her. A rough noncon.

11. Bucky & Steve both sleep with reader(not threesome) when they miss Peggy & Natasha, reader just feels they love her. Once she hears them saying how easy fuck reader is & basically all angst. End is as you like. Make reader happy though

12. Thor, Steve & Bucky with reader. Where reader is basically an intern but they sleep with her (individually) they treat her like an escort. She wants out but they all blackmail her. When they sleep with her they keep degrading her & calling names etc. All angsty. Until one day, when there's a fight, reader lifts mjolnir. They sorta kneel & respect her?

13. Tony & reader?abo dynamics? If yes, I'd like to request one where reader has crush on Steve & Tony on reader. Once reader goes in heat Tony takes the chance & claims her against her wishes. Maybe she's pregnant later

14. AU where Bucky is famous writer very rich & rude. Reader is simple intern at his office. He fucks her for sake of writing the scene but she falls for him & thinks he loves her. But at opening of his book he brings some girl. This breaks her heart, he also says she's just a good fuck. Angsty. End as you like.

15. Thor reader & Steve? Where they are in relationship, but it so happens that Steve & thort get competitive as to who fucks reader the best. So to prove the point they have sex with her(individually) give her orgasms, like 3-4 in a row but this exhausts reader. She gets tired, can hardly walk is always covered with hickeys. There comes a point she avoids them & cries to herself. Fluff ensues?

16. request where reader is ex hydra. She's new on team & obviously no one trusts her. They're rude to her, ignore her if she tries to talk, Don't take her suggestions if she makes any. She's left alone until Peter befriends her. He tells the team how nice she is, how helpful she is etc. They feel bad & try to make up but till the time she's transferred somewhere. End as you like

17. scene from killer inside me. It's basically spanking. Can you do a Thor reader based on that? It's on YouTube

18. request an AU with mobster Tony stark, where he's married to reader who's quite younger than him(I'm 22), but he doesn't see her as wife cus he loves pepper (died or didn't marry due to political reasons) so he only has sex with her takes her raw & rough. Doesn't care if she's hurting, he doesn't talk to her ever. They even have a kid but still he's cold towards her. Then Thor comes, things change then. It's on you what you like, divorce or happily ever after cus Tony gets jealous.

19. Sam & reader? Where Bucky & reader are in relationship but reader is like a rebound & backup if he doesn't get nat again. He ends up having sex with some random chick, reader sees it. He also mentions her how he had to get himself off with reader like she's not enough. So reader gets all sad develops body imagery issues. Sam had crush on reader anyway so they end up together. Make Bucky regret little

20. Reader, Steve & Bucky, where reader is Brock rumlow's gf. She doesn't know anything what he does. She thinks he's nice. As to take revenge Steve & Bucky kidnap her rape her & torture her. End as you like

21. A Viking Steve? Where he invades reader's land, takes her as slave & fucks her raw & rough(noncon) _ shares her with Bucky & Thor maybe?

22. One where reader is sex slave & Tony buys her for the team(Thor, Clint, Steve). So basically the things they do to her dark, rough & noncon. Maybe later on they get in polygamous relationship?

23.Dr. Strange & Reader? Where reader is his wife & before the accident he never respected her, even though she's a Dr like him, he belittles her, doesn't talk to her, feels ashamed. Later becoming the master, he sees her through portal that how dedicated she is & how dearly she loves him. All fluffy & maybe a passionate love making?

24. Thor & reader, where reader & Loki are engaged but Thor rapes reader cus he wants her, but feels guilty & goes away. Meanwhile Loki leaves reader saying she's impure. Valkyrie takes reader under her wing & helps her heal. Maybe she ends up pregnant? Happy ending please .

25. One where Bucky is married to reader but is insecure. Reader is planning to tell him about her pregnancy & plans a surprise. Bucky thinks she's cheating on him & kid isn't his. So he leaves her. Steve helps her through out, Bucky thinks they're together. All angst but fluffy ending.

26. dark avengers, where they experiment on people to make them strong. They kidnap reader & do brutal experiments on her, to make her strong they physically, mentally & sexually harm her. Idk how to end it. It's on you?

27.Endgame Thor & reader noncon

28. noncon reader & Thor, where he wants to breed her. He keeps saying gimme baby over & over. He continues to do so until she's pregnant.

29. Au, where hydra & avengers are kingdom. Reader is married off to Steve. He's not very keen about it. Reader is Brock's adoptive sister, he raised her only so to get in avengers secrets. Reader is oblivious to all this, she's just innocent girl. When avengers find this out they begin to torture her. Amongst this torture she looses her baby. Brock seeing all this surrenders. Readers fate in your

30. One where Dean Winchester forces reader to give him blow job. Facial humiliation to be precise.

31. SOA au, abo dynamics where Jax claims reader against her wishes & takes her virginity?

32. request where Tony dates reader they have sex & he tapes it. His main intention is to bring reader for Steve & Bucky to enjoy? Tony blackmails reader saying if she doesn't comply he'll upload that tape for everyone to see. Bucky & Steve take her rough & new noncon.

33. Could you do a lactation kink of Steve? Reader is pregnant with Bucky's child, Steve can't control how soft & big her boobs get. One day he looses his control & tears her shirt & sucks on her boobs. Reader feels humiliated & tells Bucky. Bucky supports Steve & shares her with him even though reader doesn't want it.

34. One where Peter & reader are siblings, children of Tony stark. Reader is elder one & never been treated right by avengers. Peter is always favoured, pampered etc. Reader is left alone even though she's smart. Reader is married off to Brock rumlow, but he's abusive (physical &sexual). Avengers don't know, once Peter gives her surprise visit& sees her bruises & brings her home. Fluffy ending? Sorry if it's confusing.

35. How bout sex slave reader, who's new in business & is really young gets bought by Tony for Steve? She develops feelings for the man, but he doesn't. Can you make a holy trinity, smut, angst & fluffy ending. Thank you 💛

#Requests #Requests I have to write

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