#she DID distract me a few times bc she was being cute
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red blazer (c.s.)
pairing: coryo x fem!reader
wc: 2k
tags/warnings: reader is arachne's "little sister" (they're like, a year apart lol but she GIVES little sister), sexual content if you actually squint, arachne is mean but in a big sister way, otherwise it's just cute and kinda funny. idk. enjoy!
requests (currently closed- feel free to send whatever but it will be a while before I get to them!)
nav / coriolanus snow masterlist
a/n: omg second ever coryo oneshot from me. LISTEN- i know i should do more of these BUT i loveee doing series for him bc his personality is SO fun to work with. anyway lol, check out my coryo series'.
"Maybe if you spent less time annoying me and my friends you would make some of your own." Arachne hums, sensing you standing in the doorway to the dining room where she and her friends were apparently working on some kind of assignment.
"I didn't even say anything!" You whine. "I was literally just coming to say hi."
"Well, don't. No one wants to say hi to you."
You pout, staring at her and crossing your arms. "Can I sit? Just for a few minutes? I won't even say anything. I won't bother you, I promise." There was an extremely tempting empty seat across from your sister and next to her friend Coriolanus that you'd been eying since you walked in.
He was just so pretty, so well composed, so tall, you were in love. Your crush on him had been lifelong, and with him only thirteen months older than you, it wasn't at all weird or totally unattainable. That's what you'd been telling yourself, anyway.
Arachne rolls her eyes, slamming her pen down on the table. "I already told you, the fact that you even exist is annoying to me. So, no. Go. Away."
"Arachne, it's fine if she sits for a few minutes." Clemensia cuts in, eager to just be polite but it makes you smile, nodding excitedly.
"Yeah, not everyone is as easily distracted as you are." Your heart flutters in your chest as Coriolanus comes to your defense, and you're already across the room and sliding into the seat next to him.
"You underestimate how annoying my little sister is." Arachne mumbles through gritted teeth, already looking back down at her textbook.
Coriolanus looks over at you and smiles, making the butterflies in your stomach erupt into a panicked frenzy.
"Hi." You whisper, cheeks flushing red.
"Hi." He replies quietly, his tone apologetic.
To Coriolanus Snow, Arachne's little sister was an outlier to her incredibly stuck-up family. She acted out often, was no stranger to commanding the attention of every room she entered, and to him, was the most beautiful girl to ever walk the academy halls.
So every time a group project or paper was assigned, he was forcing himself into the seat next to the oldest Crane daughter and requesting that they work together.
"Maybe at your house? Like usual?"
And it worked, one hundred percent of the time.
"What are you working on?" You whisper, leaning your elbow on the table and looking at the books he had laid out in front of him.
"Nothing fun, I assure you." He chuckles quietly, and you ignore your sister's glare that you could feel burning into your forehead.
"That's boring." You sigh quietly. "What's your favourite class?"
"Law."
"Law?" The way you scrunch up your nose and question his answer makes him smile. "I am sorry for you."
He laughs even though you weren't joking, about to ask what your favourite class was when he's stopped by your sister shouting.
"Mom! Y/N's annoying us, make her go away!"
In a flash, you're shoving the chair back and darting out of the room, disappearing down the long hall of the penthouse.
You were adorable. He knew at that moment that he had to have you.
Being Arachne Crane's "little" sister was a nightmare all on its own. She was annoying, she hated you or at least acted like it, and despite being the baby of the family it felt like every day you were making desperate attempts to claw your way out of her and your brother's collective shadow.
Maybe that's all this was. Did you really like Coriolanus, or did you just like annoying your sister?
The thought crossed your mind only momentarily before Coryo tugged gently at your hair to turn your head so he could detach his lips from yours only to move his kisses and gentle bites to your neck.
Nope, there was no way this had anything to do with your sister.
You let out a soft sigh, holding his shoulders to support yourself as you straddle his lap on the edge of your bed. "Coryo..." You whine, pouting because you know he only has so much time before his absence from the dining room would be truly noticed, and he was dragging this out more than he probably should.
"Tell me what you need, pretty girl." He hums into your skin, his hold on you shifting your hips and tightening over the waistband of your underwear- the only remaining article of clothing on your body.
"Hurry." You mumble, tilting your head down to capture his lips again.
"I told her I was leaving." He tells you between kisses. "We have all the time in the world." You can feel the smile on his lips against your own, and you match it in excitement.
By now, you'd been sneaking around for months. It had been fun, but certainly exhausting.
Worth it. One hundred percent worth it. You think to yourself as he lifts you to turn you over and lay you back on your perfectly made bed, leaning over you and reattaching his lips to your neck.
"How will you leave?" You ask breathlessly as his large hand finds your waist again, gentle but firm in its hold.
"We'll figure it out." He mumbles, clearly very far from concerned about it.
You're almost too caught in the moment to hear the banging on your door that causes you both to freeze, heads snapping in the direction of the sound.
"Y/N! Where's my shirt?! I know you took it!"
Arachne.
"Shit, shit, uh-" You panic as Coryo very quickly jumps off of you, tumbling loudly off the bed and onto the ground getting caught on the edge of your duvet.
"What the hell are you doing? I'm coming in-"
"No!" You shout, panicked as you look around. "Uh- one second, I'm naked!" Not entirely a lie. While Coryo gathers his academy uniform that's scattered across the floor, having left him only in his black boxers, you pull a towel off the back of your door and wrap it around yourself.
You have to hide him. Quickly scanning the room, you have three options: your walk-in closet, under the bed, or in your bathroom.
"Get in the closet." You whisper, quickly shoving him toward the door.
"I don't care, I need my shirt!" Arachne says, the sound of her opening your door masking the sound of your closet door closing.
Your chest is rising and falling quickly as she marches in, immediately looking around. "God, what took you so long? You look like you're having a heart attack." She mutters, digging through the laundry basket that was yet to be taken by the house staff.
"I was about to have a shower." You answer, forcing yourself to not look in the direction of the closet.
"Right." Arachne rolls her eyes, stomping into the bathroom to begin looking there.
"Why the hell are you showering at six pm? We have dinner at the Creed's in an hour." She calls out.
"That's obviously why I'm having a shower." Honestly, you had totally forgotten about dinner.
"Yeah, you probably should. It stinks in here."
You roll her eyes at her comment, but they widen in horror as her warpath begins toward the closet. "No! Wait!" You stop her, clutching the towel to your chest as you step in front of the door to stop her. "Uh- what shirt are you looking for?"
"Which shirt? The white one, with the lace trim collar. Oh my god, do you have more than one?" She asks angrily.
"Oh, that one is in the laundry. They took it yesterday." You lie and she groans, walking back toward the door.
"I hate you! God, you make everything so difficult." She mutters, stopping on her walk back to the door and looking at the few articles of clothing scattered around your bed. You follow her gaze, biting your tongue and internally cursing when you notice Coryo's blazer that was dropped haphazardly on top of the pile. She picks it up, looking it over with a furrowed brow. You watch as she looks over at yours, which is neatly pressed and folded for the morning sitting on your desk chair.
"A men's medium." She says as she reads the tag, pausing before turning back to you slowly, this time, with an off-putting smile on her face. "Who's in the closet?" She whispers, and your face burns more than it already was.
"No one." You answer quickly, possibly too quickly.
"You're lying." She states, and you shake your head quickly. It doesn't go over her head that you look like a deer caught in the headlights. "Then you won't mind if I..." She says, starting off slow before breaking into a run toward the door which you instinctively block with your body, gripping the towel with one hand and holding out the other arm to block her while you fight for the door handle handle.
"I knew it!" She hisses, finally giving up and pointing a finger right at your nose. Quickly, she looked back over her shoulder toward the open door to make sure no one else was around before she spoke again. "Is it Allium?" She asks quietly, for some reason suddenly interested in who you spend your time with, and if it's with that boy in your year who continually gets on your nerves.
You shake your head again, swallowing thickly.
"Tell me who it is."
"No one!" You lie, already knowing the bit was up as she tosses the blazer back to where she found it.
"Ugh, you're no fun." She rolls her eyes, shoving you gently before turning to leave. "Whatever. I don't care. Just don't get pregnant- I know you're stupid and all but Mom will skin you alive."
"Get out!" You snap, walking over and shoving her out the door before slamming it behind her.
You hear her laugh as she walks away, steps receding down the hall back in the direction of her own room.
You let out a tense sigh of relief, waiting a moment to hear her door closed before going over to the closet and opening the door.
Coryo is still laughing to himself as he buttons up his shirt and tucks the back of it into his pants. "Stop!" You exclaim in a whisper, giving him a gentle smack on the shoulder but you can't help but laugh as well. "It's not funny!"
"It's pretty funny." He says lowly, leaning down to kiss you softly.
"It's not that funny." You roll your eyes playfully. "We could get in serious trouble, sneaking around like this! God- it's crazy." You sigh, shaking your head as you step back into your room, suddenly serious.
He follows, sensing your worries as you drop the towel with your back facing him, quickly pulling a t-shirt on to cover up. "We can't- we have to stop." You shake your head, talking mostly to yourself.
"Hey, woah, that's a little rash, don't you think?" He asks as you turn back to face him.
"I don't!" You insist. "I mean, it sucks, but this is far too risky. We're done with... whatever this is."
Coryo shrugs, clearly unaffected by your concerns. "Let's just... next time, let's just go for dinner or something."
You tilt your head at him. "What? That's not, we can't-"
"Why not?" He asks, closing the space between you and reaching his hands out to grab your waist. "Your sister will suck it up eventually. Once she realizes how in��love you are with me."
"I- I am not in love with you!" You protest, cheeks flushing pink again. "And even if I was, which I am most definitely not, she would scalp me. She doesn't care, I can't date one of her friends."
"Let me handle her." He insists, once again shrugging it off. "I'm being serious. I really like spending time with you, would it be the worst thing if we were together?"
"Wait, like, you're asking me out?"
He gives you a quick nod, still smiling at you.
"I- I mean sure, if that's what you want." You nod, blush spreading evenly across your nose. You had to blink a few times to confirm you were awake and that this was real.
"I'm asking if that's what you want." He chuckles.
"Yeah, yes. Of course." You shake your head, trying to get your thoughts straight and pull yourself together. "I would like that, Coryo."
taglist: @keziahcore, @soulessjourney, @kitscutie, @annaelise, @serrendiipty, @fratboyharrysgf0201, @totallynotkaibiased, @stelleduarte, @klplynn, @secretsicanthideanymore, @bejeweledreverie, @fals3-g0d, @gloryekaterina, @andrewgarfieldsbitch, @queenofspades6, @pepperonipastas, @ladybug0095, @lunamothwrites, @sbrewer21, @mus-tbe-a-weasley, @unclecrunkle, @karmaswitch, @rororo06, @coconut-dreamz, @nekee-lilac02, @ooooglymoooogly, @slytherinholland, @riddlerloveb0t, @lovedbalances, @notyourwildestdream, @snowlandson-top, @too-lit-for-fanfic, @utopiakys, @deafeningballoonnacho, @darlingisntit, @chmpgneprblem, @cosmoetik, @lauravanderbooben20, @dry0campa, @luclue, @lokidala, @urvampgfsworld, @carolanns-world, @that-veela-girl
#tbosas#tbosas fic#tbosas x reader#tbosas fanfiction#thg#thg fanfic#thg fic#thg fanfiction#thg series#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus fanfiction#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus x you#coriolanus imagine#coryo snow#coryo x you#coryo x reader#snow x reader
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price of dreaming
series masterlist
pairing: luke castellan x daughter of poseidon!reader
summary: luke's spiral and the part you play in it.
a/n: this is so sad i'm sorry. like it's just a couple thousand words of luke being sad with a cute little flashback and a percy mention to make it all more sad. i don't know what's wrong with me why did i start writing this series
wc: 4.1k
warning(s): pretty severe angst bc this takes place after hurricane's death and goes up to mid tlt. death ideation, minor descriptions of injuries, luke isn't the best person, just a whole lot of sadness.
Luke returns to camp two weeks after your death, nothing more than a shell of himself.
Half of his time was spent sitting in an interrogation room in a Boston police station, mumbling his way through questions he doesn’t know how to answer. It’s not every day that a teenage girl is found nearly ripped apart in the middle of a city with her boyfriend completely broken next to her. Two EMTs had to literally drag him away from you—at least, that’s what they tell Luke. Everything after your heartbeat stopped is a blur for him. He doesn’t really even know how he got to the station.
And that’s how it is for a while. He talks to detectives who don’t believe him, he stares at the wall and wishes you were here, he goes home with your mom. She’s being asked just as many questions, and she refuses to leave him out on the street or take him back to camp. She doesn’t understand that Luke’s done it all before.
Eventually, the officers settle on a freak animal attack. It didn’t make sense for an animal capable of doing that to be in the city, but mortals see what they want to see. Luke is just thankful to be out of it.
But he doesn’t know what to do next. There’s a huge gaping hole in his chest and in his life without you, and he doesn’t know how to live without you. Every time Luke closes his eyes he sees your face, and he hasn’t been able to sleep through the night since it happened. He only really manages to stay out when his body practically shuts down from exhaustion.
Your mom treats Luke like a second son while he’s living with her, and it pains him more than anything. She asks him if he wants to stay with her, try and finish out the semester. He was surprised she still wanted anything to do with him.
Luke declined. He loved your mom, but being in that apartment without you—walking past your room and knowing you would never be there again, seeing a space you carved out for yourself knowing the most integral part was missing—was just too much for him. The full reality of you being gone still hadn’t sunk in yet.
He’s soured on the city of Boston as a whole. He’s felt your blood on his hands since the moment it stained his fingers, and for as long as Luke lives he will never forget the look on your mother’s face when she showed up at the police station.
Your mom offers to drive him back to camp, and though he wants to say no to that as well, he doesn’t. Luke can tell that she needs a distraction, and he doesn’t really know how else he’s gonna get back to camp. They don’t talk very much on the way there, but neither of them burst into tears, so he considers it a victory.
She parks at the bottom of the hill and hugs him so tightly he can’t breathe, but he welcomes any kind of feeling.
“Stay safe, Luke,” she says, her hands on his shoulders. “And if you ever need a place to stay—”
“I know,” he interrupts. “And I’ll try.”
She nods a few times, and she blinks back tears as she looks up at him. “Thank you for everything you did for my daughter. For all those years that you kept her safe.”
It clearly wasn’t enough, Luke wants to say. If it was, he wouldn’t have lost you back then, and he wouldn’t have lost you now. But that wouldn’t help anyone, so he nods. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, his throat still dry as a desert.
“Always.”
“I know how much you meant to each other,” she says softly. “I’m so sorry, Luke.”
He holds back his emotions. “So am I.”
Your mom nods again and they say their goodbyes once more, hugging one last time. When Luke reaches the top of the hill, he looks back to see her still standing there. He wishes he could do something to ease the pain, but he doesn’t even know how to deal with his own.
Luke stops at Thalia’s tree, and he already feels that lump in his throat.
“I hope you’re together in Elysium,” he murmurs. “I always thought you would like each other.”
The beginnings of tears prick the back of his eyes and he clears his throat, shaking his head like it’ll help silence the millions of thoughts scattered around his brain. If Thalia lives on like this, he hopes your spirit is still around somewhere.
“I love you,” he says quietly. “And I’m sorry I failed both of you.”
Nobody at camp knows. How could they?
Luke wasn’t expected back until the summer, though, so his presence at the top of the hill is telling in of itself. Especially alone.
He ignores everyone that tries to talk to him and gets to the Big House to break the news to Chiron. Thankfully, when he dissolves into tears, it’s behind closed doors. Chiron takes it in a saddened stride, and Luke wonders how many heroes have died in his lifetime.
You have no siblings to make a burial shroud, so the Athena cabin takes up the responsibility. Annabeth invites him to take part, but he can hardly stomach the thought.
It’s beautiful. They emulate the ocean through embroidery and Annabeth even gets a little Red Sox patch in. They let Luke burn it, and he’s amazed he even makes it through the ceremony. But the entire camp shows up, and there isn’t a single dry eye. He hopes you at least know how many people care about you.
Chris takes over as counselor for the indefinite future, which is probably a good thing when Luke can barely muster the strength to get out of bed most days. He picks at his food when he’s able to make it to meals, and his prayers to Hermes have never felt emptier. He used to do one for Poseidon every so often, especially when you were at school, but the thought makes him sick. His eyes never stop trailing over to Cabin Three’s table.
The Poseidon cabin is empty again.
Luke doesn’t fully realize the path he’s taken until he’s standing in the doorway and the scent of salty air hits him. He’s so used to hanging out with you after dinner that he just went there automatically.
It feels unfinished. It is unfinished. You had a whole box of things back in Boston that you wanted to bring back to camp to decorate.
Your posters still hang on the walls—Blondie, Pearl Jam, Alanis Morisette. Fairy lights are falling down in the corner, and they’re unplugged. Luke had to remind you to unplug them before you left for the school year.
You should be standing next to him, smiling and laughing and dragging him in behind you as you rant about capture the flag or the canoe race you definitely didn’t cheat in. He blinks away the tears building in his eyes and he takes a step back.
You should be here. You’re not.
(How many more times is he going to end up here chasing ghosts?)
There are some things a person just can’t get over.
And that’s how his days go. He barely manages to get out of bed, picks at meals that taste like sand, musters what little strength he has to lead sword lessons, endures pitiful looks and sympathetic speeches.
Luke gets lost in the past more than he should, oftentimes sitting on the beach talking to you as he watches the waves roll in or sneaking out to the dock in the middle of the night to be in the company of the only person he can stand.
By the time summer comes back around, Luke is sure of three things.
He isn’t ever going to be the same again.
You should still be alive.
He won’t rest until he’s torn Olympus down brick by brick.
-
“It’s quiet here,” Luke said.
“That’s what happens when you don’t have any siblings,” you murmured.
His eyes trailed over to the door and you nudged him with your shoulder. “What do you keep looking over there for? Scared someone’s gonna catch us?”
He shrugged. “We’re technically not allowed to be in here together.”
“They can’t say anything,” you said. “We’re both counselors. And no one’s in this place anyways. Besides,” you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, “we’ve earned all the time in the world.”
Luke smiled and snaked an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “You think so?”
“We lost two years together,” you said, laying your head on his chest. “Far as I’m concerned, no one can say a damn thing to us.”
“It always feels like we talk about the past,” he said. “What about the future?”
“All I know is I want you in it,” you mused. You always loved resting on his chest because you could hear his heartbeat, could feel the slight rise and fall from his breathing. It meant he was alive, and after what you’d been through, that was more valuable than anything.
“Obviously,” Luke said coyly. “I want you in mine too. But what about the details?”
“We gotta finish high school first,” you said. “Have you thought about what I said?”
“...Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s just been a while since I’ve left camp. Going back to school seems rough for someone who hasn’t been in classes since elementary school.”
You shook your head. “Which is exactly why my school would be perfect for you. We left at the same age, remember?” You took his hand and began to trace the lines of his palm. “It took some getting used to, but I made it. If I can, so can you—and I’ll help you every step of the way.”
Luke chuckled softly. “I’m a little worried about leaving Annabeth.”
“Annabeth of all people would support you going for your education,” you said. “And it’s not like she’ll be on her own—everyone likes her here.”
“...Talk me through it,” Luke decided. “Say we both go back for the school year. What does a sophomore year for the two of us back in Boston look like?”
“Well, we’d be living together. We have an extra room in our apartment, and I’m sure I can convince my mom to let you take it.” You let out a sigh as you shifted, moving closer into Luke’s side. “We’d take the T together to school, but you don’t have to worry because I can show you around everywhere.”
He chuckled. "I could use a refresher on Boston. Don't have the fondest memories there."
"We'll just make some new ones," you promised. “I’m on the soccer team, too. I was JV this year, but I’m gonna make varsity next fall—mark my words.”
Luke rubbed your shoulder as he hummed. “And I’d come to every game.”
“You better.” You glanced up at him with a smile. “You could try out for something too. I think you’d make a killing in basketball.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Do you not remember all those pick-up games we played when we were younger and bored? I was gods-awful.”
“This’ll be different,” you insisted. “You’ll actually be sleeping on a bed every night, and eating consistently. I think that makes you a better athlete. Plus, you’re not three feet tall anymore.”
Luke laughed as he intertwined your fingers together. “The star soccer player and the mediocre basketball player. We make quite a couple.”
“You’d be better than mediocre,” you said. “Anyways—we’d play our sports and kill it, I’d introduce you to all the friends I made last year, I’d show you all around Boston, and I’d get you hooked on the Red Sox.”
He leaned back against the headboard with a chuckle. “You’re really never gonna let this go, are you?”
“It’s my sovereign duty to put you onto the Red Sox,” you said, “especially surrounded by all these Yankees. I’m gonna get you to a game one of these days. And after we kill sophomore year, we’ll kill junior and senior year.” You tapped on his chest for each year with your free hand, and his smile grew. “Then we’ll graduate high school together. With honors, and monster-free.”
“You have such high standards,” Luke said wryly. “I’ve always thought I’d be lucky to pass with C’s.”
“You haven’t always had me,” you mused. “And when we’re together, we can’t lose.”
Luke smiled as he looked at your intertwined hands. “Y’know, I think your plan sounds pretty good. I’m pretty sure I could put up with school if it meant more time with you.”
You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. Luke moved his hand to keep you there, and when you pulled away, a delicate blush painted his cheeks and pure love danced in his eyes. You couldn’t help but smile.
You were the luckiest girl in the world.
“Thank you,” you said.
Luke offered a sideways grin. “For what?”
You shrugged. “For being you.”
“Thank you, then,” he said.
“For what?”
“For sticking with me,” Luke said. “Through everything.”
“I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else,” you murmured.
-
The second year isn’t any easier.
Luke is back to being year-round. There’s no point in going home—not when Connecticut hasn’t welcomed him in years. Not when he would just be another problem for your mother in the midst of her grief.
So he stays at camp. Endures the pitiful looks from everyone, lies his way through attempted therapy with Chiron, trains more than ever before. No one seems to know how to treat him, because he goes from completely alone to swarmed with sympathy to completely alone again. It takes two months before his friends are acting like he’s a normal person again, and even then it still feels like they’re walking on glass.
Luke can’t find enough inside of him to care.
He practices with his sword until he feels like his arms might fall off, only narrowly avoiding the harpies each night. His siblings ask how he does it, why he does it, and he just says he wants to get better.
But Luke refuses to let it happen again—not when his surrogate sister is all he has left. Not when he sees you every time he closes his eyes.
His birthday comes and goes, but seventeen is empty without you. He replays your past conversations in his head, about traveling together and graduating together and maybe even going to college together. Demigods aren’t meant to think about the future, but he dared to dream with you.
And the worst part was that you were right. You made varsity. You were in the middle of killing sophomore year, despite Luke struggling his way through with C’s and the occasional D—you had always been smarter than him. You got him out to a Red Sox game, and gods forbid, he actually enjoyed it.
You were living the life you deserved, a life of happiness and success and with Luke, and you didn’t even make it past sophomore year. You were meant for so much more, and every day he questions why it was taken from you. Every day, he questions why you’re gone and he’s not.
The year chugs on in all its misery, and for the first time since he all but rejected him as his son, Hermes appears to Luke.
His father gives him a quest, and he takes it despite the inherent insult of it. Maybe some part of him hopes he’ll die out there and finally get to see you again.
(Another part wonders if he’s even worth Elysium. Luke lost you once, then he lost Thalia, and now he’s lost you again. Some kind of hero he is.)
He goes it alone. It takes him back to the first couple of months before he met you, and when the thought hits him, it almost overwhelms him. Everything makes Luke think of you, but it makes sense. He’s only living half a life—he’s missing the other half of his soul.
Luke fails his quest. He manages to get a claw and he manages to nearly lose an eye. There’s no glory in a repeated quest, but there might be even less glory in this.
And once more, Luke staggers back to camp as a victim rather than a hero. Someone only worthy of pity, someone so weak that Chiron bans quests unless they’re absolutely necessary. It takes weeks for the scars on his body to heal, and the mark on his face even longer. He becomes well-acquainted with the cycle of Apollo kids that take shifts in the infirmary.
He feels nothing but disgust every time he looks in the mirror. After all, the claw marks ripping their way through his body match yours. Sometimes he wishes Ladon finished the job.
It doesn’t make sense why, after everything, he’s still here.
Luke can hardly stand to be at camp, but he’s got nowhere else to go. He gets better at hiding his emotions, better at acting like he’s gotten through it. New demigods show up and he’s not the bereaved counselor anymore—he’s not introduced with his grief. He hides it away.
No one wants to deal with all the problems he’s racked up. His mom, his dad, Thalia, you. He’s a demigod. Demigods are resilient. So he plays the part—he’s been through a lot, but he’s past it. He promises he’s not a burden anymore. He’s just a normal kid.
And for a while, Luke is almost able to believe it himself. He’s never going to be over you, but he starts feeling like a person again rather than a ghost of one. He’s fully taken over the mantle of counselor again, and he’s actually present during sword-fighting lessons. He even manages to get a six-month-long capture the flag winning streak going on.
And then Kronos appears in his dreams.
Luke knows Greek mythology. It’s hard not to pick up a couple things when you’re fighting stuff from the history books, but they teach some lessons at camp. It’s nice to know what you’re up against before you die a brutal death.
Kronos killed his father. He ate his children. Every wicked deed was done for power, and power is what he offers Luke.
And maybe there’s something wrong with him, because it’s the first time he’s felt hope since he left Boston.
Luke finally has an answer to something. He’s been silently cursing the gods for years, trying to figure out a way to tear everything down without getting himself immediately killed, and he’s got one.
Kronos speaks to him most nights. He remembers the dreams you shared with him in your final year, all the restless hours spent sitting together on the fire escape as he soothed you. You thought Kronos was the reason for it, but he couldn’t have been. His dreams were nothing like yours.
But still, Luke wonders every day what you would say if you were here, if you knew the treacherous path he’d embarked on. Kronos promised power, freedom, an end to Olympus and the reign of the gods.
He doesn’t care about power. He just wants to hold you again. He wants to hear your laugh again. He wants to see your smile in more than pictures.
But he can’t. And he wants to destroy everyone responsible for it.
So he does everything the Titan Lord asks of him. He hones his skills even further, he lays low, and when the time is right, he steals Zeus’s bolt and Hades’ helm. Luke even nearly beats Ares when he’s caught, but Kronos doesn’t lead him astray—he speaks of divine war, and he gets out of it.
He continues to see you. Kronos doesn’t lead him astray, but he punishes him for such a close call. Luke wakes in the middle of the night, eyes wide and chest heaving with labored breaths, and he feels your blood on his hands all over again. He sees you die over and over again and he can do nothing to stop it.
You always told each other about your nightmares.
That’s the hardest part of it all. You’ve always been so closely intertwined with Luke’s life since the moment he saved you in that aquarium years ago, and he can’t see any way to let go of you. He can’t—even though you’re gone, you’re still a part of him. His first instinct in any situation is to tell you, and it kills him that he can’t.
And maybe things would have turned out different for Luke if you were still around. He’s never going to forgive himself for your death, and he’s certainly never going to forgive the gods. Thalia pushed him to the edge, but you were the breaking point. Luke is only nineteen and he’s loved and lost more than most.
Maybe things would be different if you were here. But you’re not, and they aren’t. So when a new demigod shows up, covered in monster dust and nearly dead on camp’s doorstep with Grover in tow, Luke doesn’t hesitate.
He killed the Minotaur, and his mom is dead. Skilled enough to take on a quest, desperate enough to ignore a couple warning signs. Percy Jackson is the boy Kronos told him about.
So Luke takes him under his wing. Shows him around camp, welcomes him to the Hermes cabin, trains with him one-on-one.
Something about his spirit reminds him of you. It’s the grit, he thinks. The determination. The refusal to back down even when it’s the smartest option. When he asks about you that night in the Hermes cabin, Luke’s heart stutters. The kid is too sharp for his liking.
It doesn’t take long before Luke manages to cement himself as one of his friends, maybe only third to Annabeth and Grover. He’s a lost kid that’s been thrust into a world he doesn’t understand, and Luke is the closest thing to a rock most campers have got.
It’s supposed to just be a guise, but sometimes, he forgets himself. He likes Percy too much—he just feels too much like a younger brother, and that’s not really good for the already growing guilt in his chest.
Maybe it’s because Luke sees himself in Percy. Someone playing a part he’s not aware of, an unfortunate pawn with no choice in the matter. Luke tries to push it away. Kronos wouldn’t lead him astray—this was the path he had to take if he wanted anything to change.
But it’s not like that makes it easier. Because gods, Percy has never looked more like a kid than when he’s suited up in armor for capture the flag. It almost makes Luke regret the plan he has to enact.
Almost.
Annabeth has a plan as usual, and thankfully Percy plays the part of bait. Luke tunes out of everything else and lets his battle senses take over—things have already been set into play, and now all Luke can do is hide in plain sight. Soon enough he’s got the red team’s flag past the boundary line, and he’s hoisted up onto his teammates shoulders. Luke is almost able to forget what he’s done.
…Almost.
A howl rips through the forest, and the hellhound Luke summoned after the start of the game launches itself at Percy. He’s on the ground before he knows it, the flag forgotten in his hand as he rushes over with the rest of the campers.
For some ungodly reason, Annabeth tries to step in front of him, but she’s thankfully too slow. The monster swipes at Percy and its claws shred through his armor. For a split second, Luke is back in Boston and his chest stills.
Chiron solves the problem with a cluster of arrows, but the camp is in immediate disarray. Clarisse instantly accuses Percy, Annabeth is trying to make sure Percy doesn’t die, and Luke just hopes his shock is believable enough to hide his annoyance. He’s just a scrawny kid—how the hell is he still alive? But then the unthinkable happens.
Annabeth tells Percy to step back in the lake. The instant he’s in the water, what should have been a fatal wound starts to heal.
And then a glowing blue trident appears above Percy Jackson’s head.
Luke feels sick as he lowers himself to one knee with the rest of camp. As the hellhound he summoned melts into the shadows, as he stares at the sacrificial lamb of a demigod meant to unknowingly enact his plan.
“Poseidon,” Chiron says. “Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God.”
Your brother.
#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan fic#luke castellan angst#percy jackson and the olympians x reader#pjo x reader#x reader#daughter of poseidon#child of poseidon#sadie writes
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My Shy Dogsitter
Part 3 of My Shy Valentine
Pairing: Tim Bradford x shy!fem!reader
Summary: When you're asked to watch Kojo and Ghost at the same time, you don't think there will be any problems. Tim's unexpected jealousy is a distraction you didn't anticipate.
Warnings: brief jealousy, discussion of the events of part 2 and what happened after, lots of fluff and doggy cuddles! The dog commands are Czech bc Ghost is a police dog :)
Word Count: 2.5k+ words
Picture from Pinterest
“Oh, you’re welcome,” you reply after Kojo licks your hand in thanks for dinner. “Just doing my job.”
“Kojo gets a cute reply, but when I kiss you to express my gratitude, you run away,” Tim accuses from the open doorway. “How is that fair?”
A low growl sounds from the living room, and you look over your shoulder as you stand.
“Ghost, klid,” you call.
“Ghost?” Tim asks loudly. “Why is Hughie’s dog here?”
“He and Mrs. Hughie wanted a date night,” you explain softly. “I offered to watch him so he wouldn’t have to stay in the kennel.”
Tim’s eyes drop to Kojo momentarily before saying, “Okay.” He sets his jacket and keys on the back of your couch and sends Ghost a stern look before asking, “I guess that means we’re staying in for dinner?”
“I made food, but we can order something if you want. Sorry I didn’t tell you Ghost would be here.”
Tim takes two long steps toward you before raising his hands to cup your warming cheeks. When your eyes hesitantly meet his, he smiles.
“I’m not upset. Just wasn’t expecting you to be running a dog motel.”
“It’s a hotel; my hosting skills are far above motel status,” you whisper.
Tim shakes his head before raising his elbows slightly. Before he can say “whenever you want,” you wrap your arms around his waist and pull yourself flush against him. It’s been a hard few months, but Tim has been happy to give you everything you need. When you wanted him to hold you, he did, but the moment you said you needed space to think, he left with a promise that he’d be nearby. After he dumped you to save your life, and then actually saved your life from an intruder wanting to hurt you and Tim, Tim said that he loves you and you haven’t doubted that for a moment. The lingering worry and heartbreak following his sudden departure took time to work through, though.
“I love you,” you say against Tim’s shirt. “Sorry.”
Kojo nudges his snout between your leg and Tim’s. You move one foot back to make room for him, and Kojo happily joins your embrace.
“Whatever you’re apologizing for,” Tim begins.
“Taking too long,” you whisper.
“When I said that I understood not being ready to trust me again, I meant it.”
“I do trust you; I’ve trusted you since the moment you came back. I’m just sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
Tim’s smile returns, and he nudges Kojo gently as he leans in to kiss you. While you still get shy with Tim’s affection, you’re not as quiet as you were when you met. Tim knows you and loves you, so your quietness never bothers him, and the shy glances and soft touches you give him take him back to the day you met in the K-9 unit. Tim breaks the kiss to pull back, and you drop your eyes to his chest.
“See, buddy?” he asks Kojo. “She told you ‘you’re welcome,’ but she won’t even look at me.”
“Stop,” you request.
“You made me and Kojo dinner; I’m not stopping until you’re thoroughly thanked.”
Ghost barks once, and Tim rolls his eyes.
“What’s your problem with Ghost?” you inquire. “Still mad that he wanted to kill you for breaking my heart?”
“I will kiss you again,” Tim threatens. You lower your chin but don’t break eye contact with him. “Ghost is an attention seeker. When he’s around, you focus on him.”
“You’re jealous of Ghost?”
Tim raises his eyebrows, and you shrug; it’s half of an apology that you don’t mean. Since you met, Tim has been vying for your attention, so the accusation isn’t that far-fetched. Hughie pointed out that Tim waits for you to come to him when you visit the station, too, so you were already aware of some type of animosity between your police officer and the police dog.
“I’m working a fourteen-hour shift tomorrow. Can you watch Kojo for one more day?” Tim asks rather than answering your question.
“Of course. He’s always welcome here,” you answer happily. “You both are.”
Tim’s smile widens as he follows you to the kitchen and mumbles, “I’ll remember that.”
✯✯✯✯✯
You’re pleasantly surprised at how well Ghost and Kojo get along. There hasn’t been a single disagreement, no fights or growling at one another, and you are happy to see them bonding. When they lay on the same dog bed, back-to-back, while you and Tim eat dinner, you smile at the sight. Tim requires your attention, though, and you turn away from them to be tormented by your boyfriend.
When the night ends, driven to an early close by Tim’s early shift tomorrow, he furrows his brows at Ghost lying beside Kojo.
“When’s Hughie picking him up?” Tim asks.
“Two days,” you answer.
“I thought you said he went out for dinner!”
“Yeah. In Vancouver.”
Tim closes his eyes momentarily before looking at you.
“What?” you ask nervously.
“You are… lucky you’re cute and shy,” Tim decides.
“Thank you?”
Tim pulls you in for one more kiss and laughs when you say, “You’re welcome” afterward. He tells Kojo goodnight before his hands wander to your waist again. Your reminder that he has an early morning is met with a groan and another tight hug. After Tim walks out and demands you call him if you need anything, you tidy your house before getting ready for bed.
With Ghost’s dog bed on one side of your bed and Kojo’s on the other, you’re prepared for a comfortable night with both of them. As you lay in bed, wearing your favorite pair of pajamas, Kojo raises his head onto the bed and looks up at you. His puppy eyes wear you down almost instantly, and you wonder if he learned that from Tim.
“C’mon, Kojo,” you whisper with a pat to the space beside you. Ghost’s head appears on the other side of the bed, and you extend the same invitation to him, too. “You guys be nice and just cuddle tonight, okay? And don’t hog my blankets.”
Kojo grunts, a very Tim Bradford-style acknowledgment while Ghost lays a paw over your leg. As you drift to sleep, you feel them move closer.
✯✯✯✯✯
When you wake to the feeling of a tongue on your cheek, you temporarily forget where you are. Kojo looks offended at your sudden jerk away from him, but Ghost snuggles farther against your back. Dealing with Kojo is like dealing with an even less verbal Tim sometimes.
“Breakfast time already?” you ask groggily.
Kojo’s tail wags and Ghost stirs behind you, so you sit up and pat them both. The sound of excited paws following you through the hallway makes you happy, and you realize that you won’t want to be alone after so much quality time with Kojo and Ghost. They’re the best friends you have; they cuddle you and love you unconditionally, but don’t make you shy just for the fun of it. Unlike Kojo’s dad.
“Well, boys, I’m here all day,” you announce as you enter the kitchen. “What should we do?”
Kojo barks and smacks one side of his dog bed (the one that is in your living room; you’ve spoiled him and he has more than one). Ghost matches his excitement and bounces his front feet off the floor. You think that means cuddling, since Kojo seems inclined to have company, even on his dog bed.
“Tim said I could make you your favorite, Kojo, and Hughie said you could be treated every once in a while, Ghost. So, let’s make breakfast and then we’ll watch a movie.”
As you move around your kitchen, preparing salmon and sweet potato dog treats for both of them, Kojo and Ghost sit at attention and watch your every move.
After filling their stomachs, Ghost and Kojo jump onto the couch and situate themselves on either side of you as you turn on a movie. Time seems to speed up as you play with them, take them on a walk, and return to your cuddling position as the sun sets.
Your door opens around dusk, and you know there’s only one person who has a key. Tim stops short after he closes the door, and he looks back and forth between you, Ghost, and Kojo. He meant it when he said Ghost seeks your attention, and Kojo obviously does too, but when Tim sees both dogs on you, and that there is no room for him, he considers never bringing Kojo back here again.
“Hi!” you greet over the back of the couch.
Ghost moves so his face is beside yours, and you smile before rubbing your fingers behind his ears.
“Hey,” Tim replies. “Hope Kojo wasn’t too much trouble.”
Kojo wiggles so he’s even closer to you before lifting his head to look at Tim. His tail thumps against the couch, but he doesn’t move away from you.
“He never is. He’s a good boy,” you promise. “You are too, Ghost.”
Tim nods where he stands, wondering why he is jealous of two dogs. Because they’re so close to you, he decides. You talk to them freely, and even though he knows why, it bothers Tim that you don’t interact with him the same way.
“No room for me,” Tim laments. “Guess I’ll just go home.”
You shake your head rapidly and reach a hand over the couch toward him.
“Kojo,” Tim calls.
Kojo closes his eyes and pretends not to hear. You stifle a laugh at him; it’s as if he knows what Tim is asking him to do.
“Ghost, lehni,” you command.
Ghost moves off of the couch, opting to sit at your feet with his face turned to yours.
“How was work?” you ask Tim as he moves toward the couch.
“Busy,” he answers.
Tim puts an arm around your shoulders and pulls you against him before sighing. Now that he is in his rightful place, Tim feels like he can relax. And maybe get some revenge for the lack of attention you’ve given him recently.
“Since you’re so good with Kojo, maybe I should pick up more shifts,” he muses.
“Oh,” you say softly. You lay a hand on his chest and trace a shape over his heart. “I’m always happy to watch Kojo if that’s what you want.”
“Plus, you live closer now, so it would be easy to drop him off and pick him up.”
You nod as you try to hide your devastation. Moving closer after you were attacked seemed like the right decision, but the thought of even less time with Tim is not one you enjoy.
“I’ll be right back,” you murmur before standing. “Ghost, kemne. Kojo, you too.”
Kojo leaves Tim alone on the couch as he follows you and Ghost to the backdoor. They run out and begin sniffing around your yard as they stretch their legs. With space between you and Tim, you cross your arms tightly and tug your bottom lip between your teeth to think. You love helping Tim and watching Kojo, but you need time with Tim too. Asking him not to pick up more hours requires a directness that you don’t typically possess. Lost in thought, you don’t hear Tim walk out behind you. When his arms circle your waist and his chin drops onto your shoulder, you tense.
“What’s going on in that shy, gorgeous head?” he asks.
“I miss you,” you whisper, dropping your gaze to the grass.
“I’m right here. You can hug me, hide from me, whatever you want to do today.”
“Not- not like that. I miss you.”
“You don’t want me to work more and leave you to cuddle with dogs instead of me?” Tim asks. “’Cause you don’t show it.”
You shake your head, well aware of Tim’s jealousy.
“Pozor,” you tell Ghost.
He turns and lowers his head to glare at Tim.
“Okay, I’ll stop,” Tim concedes.
You turn in Tim’s hold, but when your eyes meet his, you immediately look away.
“Can you look at Kojo or something?” you mumble. Tim squeezes your waist but obeys and looks over your shoulder. You keep your eyes on his face as you say, “I feel like I wasted time working through my emotions, and keeping you at arms’ length was a mistake. I’m sorry, but I don’t want you to take more hours because I miss you.”
Tim’s eyes slide back to yours, and his smiles. “I wasn’t going to. Just needed you to know that I didn’t like coming home to see you cuddling with other boys.”
Kojo barks, and you smile as Tim chuckles.
“And you didn’t waste time, okay? You went through something traumatic; the time spent dealing with that was necessary. I’ll always be here.”
“I love you.”
Kojo and Ghost run to your side as Tim leans in to kiss you. They tilt their heads back and howl together while you smile against Tim’s lips.
“Ghost is leaving tomorrow, right?” Tim asks after he steps back to make room for Kojo between you, where he belongs.
“He is. Hughie and Mrs. Hughie are coming back tonight.”
“Good. I need my spot back, pal.”
Ghost looks up at Tim, unmoving for a moment before his tail wags and he opens his mouth to pant.
“You are pretty cute, though,” Tim admits under his breath.
“That’s usually my line,” you say as Tim reaches down to pet Ghost.
“I’m only working until lunch tomorrow,” Tim says. His attention is back on you rather than Ghost or Kojo, and you fight not to squirm under his intense blue gaze. “Maybe Kojo and I can come over and make sure you’re properly moved in. I know Kojo is since you’re single-handedly keeping the pet store in business.”
“I love him,” you defend. “And you.”
Tim leans in but stops short of kissing you when the doorbell rings. He lays a hand on your lower back and leads you to the couch, quietly gesturing for Kojo to stay with you. You watch as he opens the door, impressed with how comfortable he seems in your space.
“Tim?” Hughie asks as the door opens.
Ghost barks excitedly and runs to the door to greet Hughie.
“I came to relieve you early, but it doesn’t seem like you’re struggling,” Hughie says with a smile.
“How was the trip?” you ask as you pass Ghost’s bag to Hughie.
“It was great. Now, we have to plan the anniversary party and trip.”
“She can’t dogsit for the trip,” Tim interjects.
“I can help plan a party though,” you say. “I’m much better at planning than attending.”
“Weirdly, I believe that,” Hughie jokes. “I’ll leave you two and Kojo to enjoy your evening.”
You say bye to Ghost and Hughie, but when Hughie passes Tim, he sends him a strange look that is met with a nod from Tim. Tilting your head to the side, you wonder what it was about.
“You and Hughie get along, right?” you ask with your hands linked before you.
“Yeah. When he’s not threatening to let Ghost kill me for breaking your heart.”
“You fixed it,” you say with a shrug.
Tim smiles before wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. You’ll never have an empty seat beside you with Tim, Kojo, and Ghost, and you don’t want it any other way. Even when they make you shy.
#my shy valentine#tim bradford x reader#shy!reader#tim bradford x fem!reader#tim bradford x y/n#tim bradford x you#tim bradford fic#tim bradford imagine#tim bradford fluff#tim bradford the rookie#tim bradford#the rookie abc#team shy!#fem!reader#requests
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Buy A Boyfriend || chs x reader
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Summary: Being a professional boyfriend on SVTHub is great - all Vernon has to do is respond to a few texts, send out a couple selfies, do a stream every now and then, and he makes enough to cover tuition. Things get a little tricky when he finds himself wishing he actually was your boyfriend.
Rating: M (18+) | Word Count: 4kish
Content Notes: voice kink, male masturbation, swearing, he is a virtual boyfriend for money, the texts will probs look like ass on mobile, gender neutral reader, reader has cats and I borrowed @sluttywonwoo 's cats bc im their aunt and I love them (sorry if u have your own, please imagine them 😭), they dont have sex (in this part) my bad, reader is a stem major bc I live to project, I think that’s it pls let me know if I missed anything!!
Vernon’s username: bandsboyvern
Reader’s username: allthoughtsheadfull
Vernon sighs as he opens up SVTHub, knowing he has at least three messages that ask, “Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
His answer will, of course, be “Yes and I would make you a cute little worm house in a jar and take you with me everywhere,” when he really wants to say, ”No I wouldn’t, because I don't know you at all and worms have a very short life expectancy.”
But this is the life he’s created for himself; getting paid to act like a boyfriend comes with answering cliche boyfriend questions. He’s scrolling through messages, answering good morning and goodnight texts with an appropriate selfie, when one message catches his eye, or actually, wow, 5 messages, all from one person.
Vernon tilts his head, considering how to answer. It’s a bit weird that you sought out a pretend boyfriend to tell these things to but he can’t say the messages aren’t more entertaining than the usual ones. And, honestly, snails are effervescent.
Vernon answers some messages from other users; badbitchesrus is having friend group drama again and he’s dying to tell her, “you’re the problem,” but a boyfriend wouldn’t say that so he just agrees, saying, “you’re so right, Jen did copy ur fit last night but u did it better baby.” He replies to a few selfies with paragraphs of fire and heart eye emojis, and sends out a couple ‘hope ur day gets better babygirl’s.
Clicking out of the app, Vernon tries to force himself to focus on studying. He’s got a music theory quiz this week and a sound design exam next week and he’s not prepared for either. His fingers tap out a rhythm on his knee as he runs over scales in his head, swearing to himself after missing the last sharp in B major for the fourth time. He’s about to pull out his keyboard for manual practice when his phone dings with a message, the tone telling him it's SVTHub. His head hits the back of his chair, hoping beyond hope it’s not another worm message, and he smiles in surprise when he sees it’s from you.
thought 5: legally blonde is peak cinema and has something for everyone so whyyyy is it universally disliked
Vernon tilts his head, realizing that even though he’d never seen Legally Blonde, he did dislike it for some reason. Huh.
His phone goes off again, another thought from you.
thought 6: why did stephanie name it twilight and then have bella meet edward in the daytime
He hasn’t seen Twilight either but, honestly, you bring up a good point. Why name it a certain time of day and then not have them meet at that time?
Happy to be distracted, Vernon settles in to ask you some questions and hopefully get some movie recommendations.
Before Vernon can respond, he gets another message, from bbygrill99 this time. She’s requesting an ab pic, her third this week, and he wonders why she’s so obsessed with his abs when his ass is great too, but complies nonetheless. Lifting his shirt, he tenses his abdominals and tilts his phone to get the perfect angle, his bottom lip just barely in frame and his gray sweats sitting low on his hips. He’s been trying to drink more water because apparently you need it to survive, so his abs aren’t as defined as usual and he hopes she doesn’t say anything. He sends the picture out with a kiss emoji and saves it to his folder of lewds, hoping he’ll be able to reuse it.
He’s very intrigued by the idea of threats to increase productivity, and asks you more questions. This turns out to be counterproductive as it leads to a whole conversation that makes him laugh all the way through, and consequently, he doesn’t get any more work done.
It’s almost time for his weekly goodnight stream, and Vernon’s still thinking about your last conversation. You’d lured him into a debate about living as a pigeon or living with pigeons, and he still wasn’t sure who’d won. You hadn’t sent him any new thoughts today, and even though you’d just become a subscriber last week, he’s missing you for some reason. He really enjoyed the randomness of your brain, and hearing what was going on in there throughout the day. It was a nice break from pretending to be the perfect boyfriend, and he got to respond like he wanted, not like he thought he should.
Starting the stream, he settles into bed and begins telling his patrons about his day, pausing at certain moments to let them respond to him. On their screens, it just looks like a personal facetime, and they get to pretend he’s talking to them and them alone. He tries not to frown when he realizes you haven’t joined, and hopes you will soon; you were the one person he actually wanted to say goodnight to.
You don’t join, and Vernon goes to bed sad and confused. Why were you paying for this if you weren’t going to use your membership to the fullest? His subscribers loved the introduction of goodnight streams, some are even asking for good morning streams too. You also hadn’t asked him for any pictures yet, even though everyone was allowed three per day. Maybe you just hadn’t read the membership benefits when you joined and didn’t know? He should probably ask, right? Just to be sure you’re getting your money’s worth.
Vernon gasps, staring down at his phone in awe.
A cat picture. You've sent him a cat picture. A picture of a cat. Your cat, presumably.
Vernon’s heart stutters, his eyebrows raising.
damn.
He sighs in disbelief before setting his jaw in determination and deciding the perfect combination and sequence of emojis to convey his true feelings.
Vernon puts the phone down for a moment as he remembers what you’d first said about your cats. One likes you too much and one doesn’t like you at all. He wonders which is which, they're both looking at you with such love.
He’s spinning in his desk chair, zoning out a little, when his eyes hit the open sound design program on his desktop.
Fuck, he has an exam tomorrow.
Vernon’s mouth stretches in a smile, his kicking feet sending him on a giddy spin in his chair. Putting his phone on Do Not Disturb, he forces himself to focus.
Vernon is sitting in his Audio Mastering Techniques class when you text him. He was already struggling to focus, fingers drumming on the table and leg bouncing under it, his neighbor sending a glare over every few minutes. He tries his best not to check, but you'd promised him your first thought and he wants to see what it is!
Glancing around surreptitiously, Vernon opens SVTHub with his phone under the table. You'd never sent him an explicit message before but there's a first time for everything (Vernon hopes).
Vernon looks up organic chemistry practice problems but sees ‘Stereospecificity in Addition Reactions’ and ‘Electrophilic Addition Reactions to Conjugated Dienes’ and immediately begins shaking his head, exiting out of the browser and texting you again.
Vernon’s heart starts racing as he reads your text. You want to call him. You want to speak words and you want him to listen and respond and then you’ll respond to his words.
Cool.
Vernon’s sitting at his desk, spinning around as the phone rings and rain pangs against the window.
“Hey! Sorry,” you sound out of breath, “it’s monsooning and i couldn’t text and hold the umbrella and keep my laptop out of the rain at the same time.”
“It’s okay, no worries. How’d the exam go? Did you cry?” He asks, only slightly worried.
“It went well, I think! I did cry but just a little and I didn’t get it on the exam paper this time, thank goodness.”
You tell him more about the exam and he just listens, absorbing your voice and tone and cadence. He wants to record you, wishes he could listen to you all the time, your voice is so entrancing.
“Did you have your midterm yet?” You ask sweetly, sounding concerned.
This startles Vernon out of his trance and he has to ask himself if he has taken his midterm yet today, and sighs in relief when he realizes he has a few hours left to go.
“Nah, it’s not till later so i’m just studying and vibing.”
Vernon chats more with you, trying to imagine what you look like and wishing patrons had a profile picture like he does, before he realizes it’s been an hour and he should get focused. Promising to call you after his exam and wishing he could just take you with him in his pocket, he hangs up.
Vernon does call you after his exam, and he calls you the next day too, and the next. It’s easier than ever for him to respond to messages, romantic words flowing and streams getting more and more popular. He just pretends he’s talking to you and it always works. You haven’t joined one of his streams yet but he’s holding out hope, and secretly wishing that you’d request a private videocall. You still haven’t asked for any selfies but he finds himself sending them anyway, hoping someday you’ll send one back.
He’s getting ready for his bedtime stream when he starts thinking about your last phone call, just a few hours ago. You’d just woken up from a nap, sounding all raspy and sleepy and cute, and he tried to picture your face, cheek lined with pillow creases. He doesn’t remember what you’d talked about because he couldn’t focus on anything but your voice, soft and sweet in his ear. He pictures you, laying in bed next to him, your head on his chest or his on yours, your legs tangled up with his own. He can’t help but imagine your fingers trailing over the ridges of his abdomen, running up and down his chest, and his own fingers start to follow.
Vernon thinks about your fingers moving lower, running along his waistband and dipping beneath. But you’re a tease, and they slip out and over the fabric of his sweats, pressing down where he’s starting to grow hard. He rubs his palm over his dick, squeezing harder the closer he gets to the head, imagining your giggle when his hips buck up. His phone goes off, startling him out of his fantasy and reminding him he has a stream to start.
He hasn’t done one like this in a while but the tips are always insane and he really wants to buy the lego set you told him you did the other day, so he shrugs and presses the red record button on his phone.
“Hey baby, it's so good to see you. How are you?” Vernon pauses to let his viewers answer, thinking about how you’d respond.
“I had a busy day, midterms finished last week but I have a project due soon and I haven’t made a lot of progress on it,” he hears you scold him in his head, telling him to get a move on.
“But I’m really tired, and i just wanna relax. Think you could help me?” Vernon asks, setting his phone down to pull off his shirt, missing the little notification popping up to say you’d joined. He smiles softly into the camera as he picks it back up, sliding on the bed to rest his head on the pillows. He pans the camera down to show his abs, running his fingers down his chest to settle at his waistband, pretending they’re yours. The tips start rolling in and he mutes his phone, the dinging sound beginning to annoy him.
Vernon tries to find that fantasy again, the one where you’re in bed with him and touching him and talking to him, and slips his hand into his sweats, fingers wrapping around his hard cock. He sighs, pulling his dick out and rubbing his palm over the head, his hips jerking at the friction. Leaning over to dig around his bedside table for some lube, Vernon wonders what you’re doing right now. He opens the cap and dribbles some onto his length, smearing it around with his hand. It’s chilly but he just tells himself your hand is cold, and starts squeezing his cock, pulling a little when he gets to the head. A punched out moan leaves his chest, lube warming up and dick getting harder.
It feels better than usual for some reason, but Vernon isn’t willing to think about why at the moment, and keeps jerking his cock. He’s panting a bit now, staring into the camera with half-lidded eyes and lip bitten between his teeth, feeling his abs tense with every pull. Closing his eyes so he can picture your hand moving on him, he tilts his head back into the pillow, wishing he could moan your name.
The heat is starting to rise in his stomach, his hips bucking into the movements of his hand, and he knows he’s getting close. He really is tired so he doesn’t try to draw it out, just squeezes at the head harder and tries not to whine at the pressure. He thinks about your hands on him, god, your mouth on him, and imagines your voice telling him to cum.
Vernon almost drops the phone on his chest with the force of his orgasm, trying to decide if he should turn the camera to show the cum shooting out of his cock and pooling in the ridges of his abs. He leaves it facing him instead, knowing his face is screwed up in pleasure and his moans are echoing throughout the room. Staring at the ceiling, Vernon tries to catch his breath and wonders why he just came so hard. He can feel his eyelids drooping, mind going hazy with sleep and oxytocin, and blows a kiss into the camera, saying goodnight.
You haven’t texted him in a week.
Vernon’s messaged you, selfies and thoughts and questions, but you haven't responded. He even checked your profile, just to make sure you hadn’t canceled your membership. He doesn’t know what to do; you’ve only been a subscriber for a couple months and you’ve only been gone a week, but he misses you. He misses waking up to a random philosophical question from you, or a picture of your latest A, or a video of your cats play(?) fighting.
But Vernon also doesn’t want to bother you, or overwhelm you, so he’s cooled it down a bit. He only texted you once yesterday, and he hasn’t texted you at all today. He just wishes he knew you’re okay, that nothing bad has happened to you, that you’ll come back. He knows now that being a pretend boyfriend is no fun if you don’t have someone whose boyfriend you want to be.
For now, he’ll just keep checking his phone and hoping to see a message from you.
Vernon's knee bounces, jaw clenching as he listens to the phone ring, waiting for you to pick up. He can't wait to hear your voice, it hasn't even been two weeks but that's more than long enough for him. You just soothe him, quiet his brain and still his hands. He's not sure if it's how gently you speak, or how your voice feels like a soft, warm blanket right out of the dryer, or how your words slide over him like silk, but he's missed you and as soon as you pick up and say hello, it's like his entire body relaxes.
He chats with you a bit, catching up on your classes and telling you about the work he's done for his project (little to none), letting you scold him for having done no work on his project and enjoying it.
The conversation draws to a natural conclusion, both of you having exhausted every possible topic in an effort to avoid the reason for the call. Vernon takes a deep breath and tries to steel himself; he's never been good with uncomfortable situations or feelings talk but he's willing to try, for you.
"So, you thought this was like a... pen pal situation? Didn't you have to put in your ID to prove you're over 18?"
"Well, yes, but I thought it was just so we could talk about adult topics, not because it's porn!"
Vernon blanches, he hadn't really thought about the fact that he was basically a porn star and he's not sure how he feels about it. He's not ashamed, sex is normal and human and he needs to make money somehow, but he does wonder how much longer he'll want to keep doing this. It's not easy to act like a boyfriend to so many people at once when he knows there's only one person he wants. And he does know it now, he wants you.
"Does it make you uncomfortable? That I do this?" Vernon worries, knowing he doesn't want to stop but also knowing he doesn't want to lose you.
"No, I mean, a job is a job and you get to make your own schedule and devote all your focus to school. It seems like a great gig, and you're good at it obviously..." You trail off, sounding sad for some reason. He hasn't heard you like this before, your voice a bit thready and foggy, like you're suppressing tears.
"What's wrong?" Vernon asks urgently, becoming more and more concerned with every sniffle that escapes you.
You stay silent for a while, Vernon tries to be patient but he can hear your breath catching, and he's about to start crying too just so you don't cry alone. He breathes out your name, hoping you'll respond.
"Ugh, I just-" you stop yourself, sounding... embarrassed?
"I..." you take what sounds like a very deep breath, and Vernon feels like he's at the edge of a cliff, just waiting to jump.
"I like you! I like when you call me babe and flirt with me and call me and I liked the face you made when you came and I liked how you sounded and then I wanted to make you sound like that! But this is your literal job, acting like a boyfriend, and I didn't know that so I let myself have a crush on you not knowing that it was all fake!"
It takes Vernon a second to process what you said, you'd said it all in one breath and spoken so fast, your voice shaking with the cutest mix of nerves and annoyance.
"Nononononononono!!! It wasn't fake! It was fake with everyone else but never with you," Vernon spits out in a rush, desperate to make you understand. He's pacing in his room now, phone pressed to his ear, arms crossed and fingers taptaptapping at his elbow. He wonders what he can say to make you believe him, to make sure you know that you've always been different, been special, to him.
"I look forward to your thoughts every day. Whenever you text me, I literally kick my feet like a little kid. Every time I streamed - they're not all like that, by the way - I couldn't stop checking to see if you'd joined. Patrons can only ask for three selfies a day, I send you like five, unprompted-" he could go on, but you interrupt him with a call of his name. He's not sure he's heard it on your lips before, but it does something to him. Something that's very inconvenient for him to deal with now, during this very emotional conversation. He's tempted to send you a picture, maybe that will convince you.
"Vernon," you call again, bringing his focus back to your voice and away from what your voice was doing to him.
"So, what are you saying?" you continue, starting to sound a bit less sad and a bit more like yourself.
"I'm saying I want to be your actual boyfriend, and not for money, so you'll have to cancel your membership, sorry."
There's silence for a few beats; Vernon feels himself teetering on the cliff again as he waits for your response.
"I mean- is that... allowed?" You seem unsure, sounding slightly hopeful but a bit apprehensive still. He wishes he could see your face, wishes he knew what you look like at all (knowing would definitely help at nighttime or in the shower or when he wakes up for ... reasons). He shakes his head to bring himself back to the conversation before you notice that his mind had wandered.
"Yea, I mean, my friend does cam shows with his partner and another friend of mine found out his roommate was watching his shows and now they fuck everyday! That could be us!" Vernon tries to reassure you, hoping you're willing to at least try.
"Ummmmm I don't know about that just yet but we could try... dating, I guess? It may be difficult just online but I like you and you say you like me so, why not?"
Vernon thinks that if he jumped out of his window right now, he just might fly. He won't because he's not trying to die now that you're letting him be your boyfriend, but the feeling is there.
"Yes! I do like you, I like you a lot. I like you so much. Please date me." He knows he's practically begging at this point, but he doesn't care. Vernon's willing to beg, on his knees if he needs to, if it means he can be your boyfriend for real.
"Okay! Okay," you giggle, a bit muffled as if you're covering your mouth. "I'll date you if you date me?"
Vernon can't contain his grin, spinning in circles around his room even though he's already dizzy.
"Deal."
Vernon squints, sitting in his 9 am and staring down at the purple pen in his hand, the one he’d found sitting on the desk when he came in.
There’s no way though, right?
Right?
Vernon tries not to freak out as he looks under the desk to find a water bottle. One with your name on it.
Vernon has a choice to make. He could sit here, try to focus on class, while he thinks about you somewhere on campus, struggling through an exam and dehydrated and sad. Or …
Not on my watch, Vernon thinks, shooting up from the desk and grabbing his stuff and yours. He’s jogging across campus before he knows it, dodging frisbees and dogs on the green, weaving through hammocks and hopping over sleeping students. He’s not sure what lecture hall you’re in but he knows the chemistry building, and if he books it, he’s sure he can make it.
He’s speedwalking down the hall, peeking in windows and listening at doors, trying to find your class. His eyes catch a paper taped to a door, warning, “EXAM AT 915. DO NOT DISTURB.”
He could jump in glee but, glancing at his phone and seeing that it’s 9:10, he knows he doesn’t have time.
Vernon’s hoping, praying you’ll listen to him when the door opens a smidge, and the most beautiful face he’s ever seen peeks through. It's like heaven’s light is shining down on him, he thinks he can hear angels, and is that wind? Blowing through his hair?
Staring back at him, your eyes shoot open in disbelief, before landing on your pen and water bottle in his hands. You squeal, bouncing in your shoes and throwing your arms around his neck. He breathes you in, reeling at the weight of your body against his, and you pull back before he can return your embrace. Vernon misses you instantly but he knows you have to go be a genius so, handing you the water and pen, he accepts a kiss on the cheek and watches you leave.
Hiiii!! Would love to know your thoughts, whether they come in a like, reblog, comment, or ask! Please feel free to come talk to me i will cry and smile all day!! Planning a pt 2 for this but i'm hoping to get pt 2 of like a cowboy out first!
Part 2
And check out the rest of SVTHub! A good few fics are out and you’ll still have something to look forward to as more will be posted over the next few weeks ☺️
I am so grateful to @sapphichui for trusting me with this and I’ve had such a great time collaborating with and getting to know other awesome authors on here!
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Collab Masterlist
#seventeen#svthub.collab#svthub#✨emily writes✨#vernon x reader#chwe hansol#chwe hansol x reader#seventeen fluff#seventeen smut#svt fluff#svt smut#any greendalians here 👀#kpop smut#kpop fluff#camboy!svt#camboy au#hansol x reader
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focus / christian pulisic
request: omg can you write something based of this for christian🥹🫶🏼
summary: you had brought christian, a friend, home to your parents due to your sister's wedding, hoping to stop the questions about your love life. you didn't think how hard it would be to make them believe your lies.
warnings: sexual innuendos bc they're both little shits.
word count: 0.9k
you never meant to put christian in the situation he was in right now: at a family dinner, eating dessert just a few hours after arriving home to celebrate your sister's wedding.
you weren't planning to come in the first place. but your, oh, so precious boyfriend -or ex boyfriend now, after finding him cheating with his boss just a few weeks after confirming your assistance to the event, with a plus one, to make matters worse. you two had been dating for a year, roughly, before even thinking about presenting him to your family. you used to kept the topic of your love life in the dark to your family, aware of how nosey they could be about the matter. nonetheless, everything had turned out worse for you when your little sister had beaten you into getting herself a nice, long term and stable relationship; even worse when she got a beautiful ring after their second anniversary, meaning that she would be getting married before you.
not that you cared, but your mother certainly did.
the questions about your love life became unbearable after the announcement of her marriage. and just when you thought you had found the perfect guy to bring home, make them finally stop asking questions, everything you seemed to know disappeared into thin air.
asking christian was your last, viable choice. and you wouldn't have done it if you could find another one. but they already knew every one of your male friends, having had to clear the air with everyone and said that you were strictly platonic way too many times to count, the only one who you hadn't mention yet was the american player.
so here you were now, seated on his lap, moving uncomfortably every time they asked another question. it had been easy at first, when they wondered how had you two meet, for how long you had been dating, the normal stuff. the stuff you had previously rehearsed, being sure that they would ask them. but you didn't expect them to dig any deeper than surface level, so now they were asking what was so different about him that you had decided to bring him home, when you hadn't brought any guys home in your twenty two years of living.
"i don't know, mom, it's his cute face i guess" you tried joking around, and it made everyone around the table swoon at your apparent lovesick status. truth was, you were far too distracted by christian's hads drawing circles against your hips, and you couldn't think any other excuse at the moment. when the topic finally wandered back to your sister and her fiancée, you tried moving back to your place, right by your fake boyfriend's side and not over his lap. but when you tried to do so, his hands gripped you back in place, not letting you move any further. "can you give me a few minutes, love?" he whispered into your ear, and you couldn't possibly hide the goosebumps that erupted in the area where his breath had fanned over your skin.
"what?" you asked, incredulous, turning your body again so you could look into his eyes. "are you okay?" you wondered, softly, to avoid being heard by prying ears. he gulped visibly, and you didn't understand where he was coming from until he replied, after dropping his head onto your shoulder. "yeah, i just need you to stop moving for a bit, okay?" christian muttered, softening his grip onto your hips and shifting in the seat, dropping you more over his lap than over him. you stiffened in horror, not having realised that your positioning could be causing him any troubles. "oh, i'm sorry, I didn't mean-" you tried to say, stumbling a bit over your words due to the tension that you felt had grown since his last statement, making your cheeks as red as the lipstick you were wearing tonight. it made him smile seeing how flustered you got and he continued, trying to reassure you. "hey, it's okay, it's not your fault".
"it isn't?" you quipped, finding it funny how he also had his cheeks tinted a pale pink, embarrassed that you had caught him. you didn't know when you had grown the confidence to joke about the matter with him, but it had started to bother him a bit, you figured, by the way he had clenched his jaw. "stop talking, you're making this harder than it need to be" christian muttered through gritted teeth, looking intently into your eyes.
you still found the topic funny, so you pushed it a bit more, not being aware of his limits -or trying to push his buttons on purpose, you didn't know which option entertained you more. "are you talking about-" you tried to make a pun, understanding he was initially talking about how you were making the matter harder than it needed to be, but also hinting at another thing you were getting hard, although unintentionally at first.
"no, y/n," christian didn't even let you finish the sentence, almost shutting you up with his free hand -which he didn't, not wanting to cause a bad impression with your family, who seemed to already have fallen in love with him during the course of the night.
"please, focus" he pleaded between gritted teeth, lips too close to your ear now, making you involuntary shift against him again. "unless you want me to drag both of us upstairs, to your room, and make sure everyone hears confirmation that we're dating" christian stated, his hand now traveling from your clothed hip to your thigh, big hand grazing your bare skin, where the dress failed to cover. smiling at how your breath hitched at the sudden touch, he added, "understood, love?".
part 2
#football x y/n#football x reader#football imagine#football x you#christian pulisic x you#christian pulisic x reader#christian pulisic imagine#christian pulisic x y/n
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That post about kayaking got me thinking about something. About Akari living in the Highlands with Ingo close to/during winter where snow is slowly starting to cover the area. About Akari being upset about something but she won't talk to Ingo about it. She insists that she's fine but as her dad, he knows better than that. If he can't help her by getting her to talk about it, then he can help by getting her mind off of it for a little while. By engaging in a snowball fight. She's fairly annoyed at first. Until one of their Pokemon throws one at Ingo in her defense. It quickly turns into chaos and they even manage to drag an unsuspecting Melli into it. Eventually the father daughter duo settle down by the fire to warm up and she's finally able to tell him about what's bothering her.
THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE THO???
Akari is so used to the adults just giving her things to do, putting yet ANOTHER responsibility on her shoulders, that while she doesn't expect Ingo to do the same she's like... "well obv i am an adult now and I must keep my problems To Myself" and Ingo is like "darling child, you are a baby" bc Akari is still... idk. 13-15? That melodramatic age all teenagers go through where they think they're alone made worse by people going "also do this or die :)"
And Ingo is so Irritated by it but he doesn't have the power to tell ANYONE putting all these things on her shoulders to knock that shit off, that she's a kid, because she was doing it all before she met hm and he has no "legal" control over her. He tries to put her at ease as best he can but he's unwilling to confide in him bc she's an Adult doing Adult Things and he can't change her mind to ask for help or express her frustration.
So winter hits and she's been spending time with him, Melli over to visit and bug them both (he'd never admit he's been a little lonely, that he sees the warden and his adopted daughter as something like his closest companions in the highlands), and one night a blizzard blows in and covers EVERYTHING nearby in snow. Traveling too far is impossible by foot, and her pokemon are so blasted tired that she can't bear to ask them to take her anywhere. The snow is deep enough that even lord wyrdeer and lady sneasler and lord braviary are like "darling child, fuck no" so Ingo takes Akari with him to clear out the worst of the snow just from where he lives. And Melli is bitching about the cold and Akari is pouting and frustrated and snaps at him that she has too much to do, too much to handle, she can't be WASTING TIME here...
And Ingo throws a snowball at her.
It catches Akari in the face, gentle, but catches her off guard. She's standing still, confused and angered about what just happened, and Ingo does it again. Because he has very few memories, but he DOES remember someone important to him spiraling, and that he needed to help distract them, and so he did something they'd never expect. So he does it to akari. And she starts yelling (not as loud as Ingo can get) and he just throws another snowball and says if she wants him to stop, shes going to have to make him.
And the snowball fight starts off angry on Akari's side because she's stressed and scared and frustrated, so she starts yelling at Ingo except Melli joins in and also throws a snowball at her. She has no choice but to throw snowballs back (the idea of goin back into Ingo's home never occured to her) and at first she's mad, but then Ingo makes a move to dodge one of her throws except he slips, goes pinwheeling into Melli, and they both land in a snowbank. Melli immediately gets up, complaining about being cold, and goes inside to warm up but Ingo and Akari stay out a little while longer until theyre just chasing each other through the snow and laughing. Akari manages to shove a handful of snow down the back of Ingo's tunic, and he retaliates by filling his hat full of snow and slamming it onto her head.
And when they go back inside, the fire already lit with Melli snoozing in front of it, Akari's eyes start to water and then dribble with tears. And as they dry off and change clothes, pulling blankets around them as they sit in front of the fire, she curls up into her dad's side and quietly, fighting back tears, tells him about how scared she is of what she's doing, how she knows she can't say no. Ingo holds her close and promises that if she wants to stop, he'll help her, and if she wants his help, it's always ready to be given. Whatever she needs, if he can provide it he will. And for the first time in what feels like forever she relaxes, takes a deep breath, and lets herself be helped.
#Dad Ingo#PLA#pla akari#Akari#I love melli so much he's a big brother#He's annoying but he will run and tattle and nag playfully at his younger siblings#Ingo had to get on his case once about bullying Akari and melli got upset over it but quit#(for the most part)#But then he started spending time w Akari and realized that she's just a kid trying her best#So now he nags and mocks her but affectionately to distract her#Asked and answered#Forgersfeline
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My Characters
Thought I might as well do this since I like how a few of my in-game characters turned out, so here's my roster so far (subtracting a few that are in limbo). Tried to put it in order to most to least used. I'm not one to make my in-game characters as OCs, but I still like to give them a name/aesthetic/theme that matches together (and colour-coordinated) so it sort of seems like they could (also for fashion wars reasons. Name above their respective images below). Also I like giving them singular names.
(oh gosh I really hope this automatically shrinks the length of the post bc it's not giving me the "Read More" option >_>')
My Main: Vespaura (Mesmer/Mirage). Crystal Bloom/Branded themed. Still waiting for proper crystal aesthetic looks lol (none available in game atm are what I'm looking for). I'm pretty much on her almost all of the time since I'm a ho for Open world and I love GS lasers, clones, portals, and evasion hax (I'm squishy so I need the survivability and sustain, and I tag almost everything, so it works well when doing metas and stuff).
Mourynn (Necromancer/Scourge) - This is the one I took my OC's name from lol, so it's funny seeing her in game bc I forget sometimes lsjflksf. I Tried to make her look like an infected/toxic/poisonous Awakened Nightmare Courtier Duchess, and the squiggly tentacles are meant to portray turning into the necrotic glider below. I really wanna get her a bunch of Mordy and Zhaitan leggies (one day~)
Ferahla (Revenant/Renegade) - I actually updated her back piece and colours a bit since this new back piece was released bc it fit her look much more. I tried to make her look gnarly (also this outfit makes her look a bit nakey, but I'm kind of okay with that tbh alsjflskdjf), and I'm trying to match her to the Chuka leggy for whenever I get around to finishing it. Renegade is also one of my favourite specs cuz I like being at ranged and having the support of Kalla and her Lesbian Warband.
Faihan (Ranger/Soulbeast) - I still adore her look and her name is one of my favourites too. I was sort of going for a pheonix/firebird Hunter (bloodborne) kinda vibe. I couldn't decide between capes so she has one for Power and one for Condi. Also it's tricky to dress for leather armour, so I like how this turned out.
Vaipaura (Mesmer/Virtuoso) - All my mesmers have similar names bc I think it's funny to headcanon they're just different AUs of each other (not gonna show Chrono here bc she's in Limbo. Her name is Vastaura). I wanted to give Vaipaura a Regal Canthan Noble Madam kinda vibe (also I just love the combo of this outfit and backpiece). She also has Exordium cuz it also matches this look too. However I still heavily prefer playing Mirage bc despite this one being great for DPS and very neat. It's just super squishy with not a lot of survivability/sustain and no clones to distract, and it feels so slow, but regardless it is still fun to play as well (I just miss spamming dodge all the time :( I also miss my clones)
Mortesque (Necromancer/Reaper) - I'm not 100% sure if this will be the final look for her or not, but I was mostly just trying to match her to Zhaitan's Bite when I finally unlocked it a little while back. As you can tell I really like greatswords (the only 3 leggies I have are GS lol)
Shroudryss (Thief/Specter) - My newest sapling. I'm stll not 100% sure about the outfit, but it'll do for now. Specter is really fun!! I really like fancy magical mobile classes. I need to play thief way more tbh since it's more of less up my alley (this one will be my first to go to)
Jadesta (Engineer/Mechanist) - Her name and look are very on the nose. HOWEVER I am proud of the name I gave to her mech: Caladborg (also I really like the Aetherblade look here and at least it's easy/fun to give her stuff for fashion wars)
Prismysta (Revenant/Herald) - I wanted to make her fit the pretty pearlescent look of Glint's facets, and I did want one light-themed cute character. Also there was just so many pretty pieces that wouldn't work with Vespaura that I thought it'd work well for her!
Hexirax (Thief/Daredevil) - I still super need to change her name bc it for sure as hell does not suit her at all lmao!! But since I still needed a pink Sylvari, I thought it would be funny to make it my Daredevil (also the weapon worked well for this so I made her Sakura themed. Her outfit is still subject to change if I find something better)
Vallotash (Guardian/Dragonhunter) - Still not sure what to do with her yet (might switch her elite spec, idk yet), but I'm still super proud of her name and I forgot I made this look on her. I like the colour combo, and I still might keep it (subject for change tho, but I don't hate it)
#gw2#sylvari#my characters#Lol my other ones are a bit ignored atm but the first handful are my most used (Vespaura especially)#I've never really showed them off before so I thought I might as well while I'm here#I'm proud of how a lot of them turned out and a lot of their names#Fear my army of plant lesbians!
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Haiii hello :3 I’m back again with more stsg thoughts !! So,, I feel like we can all recognise that teen stsg are complete and utter losers BUT there are quite a few scenes in the anime that make it obvious that the both of them are capable of being serious to protect people when it’s necessary.. and it made me think of how they would react if you got seriously injured hmmm HMMMMM (this totally isn’t yummy to me because I wanna see feral protective stsg…. Totally…..) or maybe it’s a lil like when Toji told sugu that he killed satoru hhhh … like ur all on a mission together and u get separated somehow and satoru is like “where tf did y/n go 🙁🙁” and whoever they’re fighting comes outta nowhere like “oh I killed th-“ 💥💥💥💥💥💥 ‘n it turns out you’re just a little injured 😭😭 but I feel like they’d be sooo dramatic and worried about you :( and satoru “jokes” that now they won’t be able to leave u alone incase u get injured again…he’s just gonna have to keep an eye on u and protect u forever and ever (he means it) and sugu js goes full mother mode like he’s forcing u to stay in bed, makes you soup, reminds u to take pain meds and listens to every word of advice the doctor gives to help u recover from the injury 💔💔 hrherh I know this wasn’t as long as my usual asks but I thought it was cute and I’ve been thinking about the stupid losers all day… can’t wait to see the sashisu thing uve been working on too !! I love them sooo much I know shoko doesn’t get much love in this fandom :( loser boys (stsg) taking up too much of the spotlight smh…. Move outta the way…. It’s bae shokos turn…. (Joke I still love stsg💔) but she’s my cute tired loser wife with a coffee addiction and I hold her very dear to my heart she’s my princess with a disorder (the disorder is depression) hehe I hope u have a wonderful day/night/whatever time it is for uuu !! — stsg anon !! 💗🌸
had to go into pixlr to make this r u proud of me…. HEHEH STSG ANON MY SWEETIE my number one supplier of treats <33333 i loveloveloveeee feral protective stsg…. ure so real…… they’re both wolfboys at heart i think .
but ohhhh u always get them perfectly….. toru joking around to lighten to mood (but he’s actually not joking at all) while sugu goes mother hen mode……… :((( they’re both sooo so worried. there’s nothing they wouldn’t do to protect u!!!….. one scenario i keep thinking of is reader falling down a set of stairs or slipping on a patch of ice when it’s cold n slippery outside…. and spraining their ankle… so stsg has to take care of them and they’re both just. Wrecks. bc they feel sooo guilty and they hate seeing u in pain….. i imagine that it’d hit sugu extra hard so toru tries to be more serious and mature than usual to make up for it!! idk i just feel like sugu is especially prone to blaming himself over things like this :((( even if it wasn’t his fault at all…. and he tries to distract himself from the shame by tending to u like a baby chick. makes u food and carries u around the house…. sits u down on his lap and tries to distract u from the way his eyes gloss over w tears bc he can’t stop looking at the cast on ur foot and he just feels so incredibly guilty :((((((((….. sniffle. i wanna hug him.
i got carried away phfkdjkdkf BUT I LOVE YOUUU STSG ANON and i love this concept sm…….. they’re both papabears :((( i feel like satoru gets a lot more serious when you’re injured, while suguru gets more meek than usual…. it’s kind of a reversal of their usual roles but it’s great bc they balance each other out !! :3 like. in the scenario above i feel like satoru might get frustrated bc they told you to be careful not to slip on the ice or whatever but suguru is there to remind him that you’re in pain and that it was an accident :(( and when it’s a more minor injury i think suguru is the one to get slightly condescending bc why would you go out into the rain without a jacket?? /obviously/ you’d catch a cold, dummy. and satoru is there to defend your honour with his life LMAO…… they’re sooo so silly.
ALSOOOO STSG ANON ….. i’m so glad that ure excited for the sashisu fic 😭😭😭 that made me so happy!!! i agree sm, shoko is sooo underrated she’s my little meow meow i love her sm :((
she’s my cute tired loser wife with a coffee addiction and I hold her very dear to my heart she’s my princess with a disorder (the disorder is depression)
YOU’RE SO REALLLLL PDHFJJDJF MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH A DISORDER <3…. i knew i could trust u stsg anon, she’s SUCH a loser and we don’t talk abt it enough smh. she’s literally soooo similar to stsg like they’re all the same… soft sappy silly little losers…… oh how i love them so <33
#THANK U FOR THE FOOD BELOVED i hope u have a wonderful day/night too :33#it’s pretty late where i am but im gonna stay up a lil longer hehe#ALSOOOO STSG ANON pls dw abt the lenght of ur asks!! there’s never ever any pressure for u to send in long asks/stsg asks/anything at all!#ily and appreciate u always <333 it’s always fun talking to u no matter what!!!!!#but sighhh. feral stsg…. they make me so insane….. 😵💫😵💫😵💫#wolfboys truly. they’re Scary when they’re mad but they’d never be like that w u :((#but like. if someone were to catcall u….. or if a creep was talking to u…… ohhhh Boy#they can and WILL intimidate the hell out of said creep and probably scare u in the process LMAO#but then they’re back to being ur silly soft losers and it’s like ???? WHO R U ?#i love them so bad thank u for being insane abt them w me stsg anon#ask tag ✩#stsg anon !! ✩
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Drop those team taka head cannons
omg i adore team taka altho i feel i don’t even have the most particularly interesting headcanons for them LOL a lot of them will be design headcanons bc thats what i normally think of as an artist hehee uhm.. i’ll start with suigetsu bc i love suigetsuuuuu
for suigetsu as shown in my drawing of him from today i like the thought of him dying the tips of his hair blue….. the way the anime shades his hair is far too cool to accept it’s shading and not act like those are dyed tips….
[ ID: two screenshots of suigetsu. END ID. ]
like cmonnnnn the blue tips are the coolest thing in the world. it is NOT shading TO ME ☝️☝️☝️☝️ also i didn’t draw this in my recent suigetsu bc i forgot when i was drawing it 😢😢 but i do imagine he has scabs on his lips and around his mouth often from accidentally biting his lip T.T sometimes i bite too hard and draw blood i can only imagine having sharp teeth and doing that T.T also he wears smudged eyeliner. uh this ones maybe kinda obvious but to me he doesn’t have much of a sense of boundaries and doesn’t have much shame in his body so T.T being his roommate would be a constant battle to make sure he walks around the apartment in *some* clothes. like by everything holy just *something*
this one is absolutely not based at all but it’s my brain and i can do to jūgo as i please with it ☝️☝️ and i like to imagine jūgo likes to wear accessories on his head a lot. like hair clips, hats, maybe he starts growing it out a bit more and ties parts of it up. it catches little birdies attentions more too which he enjoys and is a bonus other than it just being cute to me. to me he’s also the friend that carries around a big bag to hold everyones shit in when they get tired of carrying their own stuff. like yeah man just toss it in… it adds nothing i already have anything you could imagine in here anyways. y’know y’know. most of my jūgo headcanons are not based at all ajksjsjss i’m sorry but i also like to imagine he might pick up smth like woodworking/carving maybee knitting/crotchet (but i lean most towards wood carving) to keep himself distracted and occupied. less likely to have episodes and intrusive thoughts for him. obviously doesn’t stop everything but it helps the tiniest but plus it’s fun :) i think if he were to do carvings and stuff he’d give like a few to his friends if it was smth they specifically liked but i think he kinda likes and prefers to just leave them around, to either be lost to time or be found by someone else! i think he has lots of scars on his hands and knuckles— between the wood carving and his rampages i think his hands take quite the damage. and y’all know i like scars so i ignore any jutsu that may deter scar creation so to me he defo gets scars. except suigetsu’s jutsu actually.. i dont think suigetsu gets scars at all.
i like to imagine karin with a bunch of neat kind of earrings. anything fun/funky. also she has one industrial piercing too to me.. sasuke has two of them but karin had one before she knew sasuke did 😭😭 just a coincidence she swears she swearssss. this one would like.. technically be canon anyways in the first half but bc of all the bite marks she has n stuff her skin would be suuuper bumpy… i think she probably doesn’t like people touching her cause strangers/non team taka end up commenting on how gross it is T.T she prolly wears long sleeves as much as she can. which i rlly don’t know much about boruto but i think long sleeves in that one is canon too. i like to work with out of canon clothings so even then if i end up starting a karin fashion board it would have strictly long sleeve outfits in it. also i like to imagine her with some vocal tics. i dont imagine her with tourettes but just a small tic disorder. i think she mostly does like clicking sounds and hums… not any words or anything :) also i feel like her eyesight is just constantly getting worse and worse. i imagine she’s legally blind but still it gets worse. when she’s older like maybe her 50s or 60s she goes blind and just relies on only sensing ppls chakra to know who’s around w/o asking. i mean she heavily relies on that anyways even when she does have eyesight.. i like to just think she uses it a lot instead of straining her eyes when her prescription starts changing.
uhm and for sasuke some more team taka centred headcanons instead of just some hcs in general… i mean i’ll just state the obvious here because soooo many ppl tend to ignore this but. team taka are sasukes best friends…. not the rest of the konoha 12… so jot that one down. i feel like even when they branch off and do their own thing (again idk anything about boruto none of that is canon to me akshjshsjsjs so don’t be like “uhmm well actually 🤓🤓”) they like to keep in contact. even if not often they’ll send messages. i like to think if they’re aware they’re gonna end up being somewhere near-ish the others they’ll all go out of their way to pay a visit. uh also i DONT think this actually happened like it’s not a headcanon of mine but i do think the thought of suigetsu being sasukes first (very short term) bf is a funny thought…. it does not last tho cause anytime they’re tryna talk about sweet things and their thoughts sasuke just talks about naruto T.T again i dont actually headcanon that happening but it is a funny thought to me… uhm also i don’t particularly think there’s a moment in which this would end up happening but i do think that out of all of team taka sasuke trusts jūgo the most to just… have a personal conversation with. like he doesn’t go out of his way to ever talk about personal shit with him, but i think if a situation were to come up in which he had to/felt like he needed to i think jūgo would be the one he’d go to c:
most importantly no matter how much they do argue with each other team taka does all love eachother.. and they certainly stay friends for life. even if they don’t talk much i think they will all always consider them a group of friends that they can just send messages to without the thought of it being strange after it being so long. it doesn’t even have to be some kind of important message either. just a little random message whenever they think of it.
#hehehe thank you for asking c:#i’m not sure that me headcanons for them are particularly interesting but T.T#my*#i hope i didn’t disappoint hehe#ik a lot was design choice but its what i fantasized most about while watching so i could easily draw them how my brain imagines them#team taka#karin#hōzuki suigetsu#jūgo#uchiha sasuke#ask and i shall answer#anon asks
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Hello! :D can you write gabriel boseman x a female reader where there going to a haunted house and the reader is a scaredy-cat please :D
Halloween Terrors
Gabriel Bosemen x F! Reader
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A little author's note. I have not read BC in a hot minute so I thoroughly apologize if the characters I write are ooc but I shall try my best! I would also like to apologize for how long its been between when this was requested to when this is posted but I hope you enjoy it anyways!!
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"This is stupid," The eldest Boseman child grumbled with crossed arms as the group of four walked up to the large haunted mansion attraction in their respective costumes. The large building loomed above them, a few distant screams being heard from inside. The sound made (Y/N) tense at Gabriel's side, swallowing thickly. Cassidy scoffed at her brother's comment and pushed her way to the front to lead the way, "You only say that because you're scared!"
Halloween was by far you guys' favorite holiday, getting the chance to dress up and get free candy. However, going in a hunted house was not an aspect (Y/N)'s enjoyed. The treats of the holiday were more her forte, as well as the costumes she was able to wear.
Gabriel wore a pirate costume that year, the pirate hat resting securely on his head. Cassidy wore a vampire costume with black eyeshadow dramatically rubbed around her eyes for the extra dramatic effect. Jerry wore a clown costume that was equally as cute as it was creepy. Finally, there was (Y/N) who wore a knight costume, the fake armor strapped to her body to ensure that it wouldn't fall all over the place whenever she ran around with the three Bosemans to get the best candy on the block.
"I'm not scared!" Gabriel pressed as he walked by (Y/N)'s side and frowned at his sister. Jerry ran around them to be in the middle of the group, not wanting to be left behind or on his own. Currently, the youngest Boseman wore a cheeky smile as he walked, a large and half eaten lollipop in hand.
"Then you should have no problem with going inside," Cassidy shoots back with a sassy tone. The group walked passed the open doorway of the mansion with creaking steps. The place smelled old and of rotting wood. For safety reasons, it was obvious that it was an artificial scent for atmosphere-- but it was really well done. So much so that (Y/N) raised the hand that didn't hold a grip on the pumpkin shaped basket that was about half way filled with many types of chocolate and hard candy.
"This place reeks," (Y/N) grumbled. In her mind, perhaps distracting herself with something else that she was able to complain about would help with that fear. Just a little, that is. Nervousness still swirled within the pits of her stomach despite searching for some kind of distraction.
"You're telling me," Gabriel agreed. His nose was also scrunched up as his gaze wondered around the large attraction. The ceilings raised about two long stories high. To their right were sets of stairs against the wall that went upward to the second story. Old paintings hung on the walls as well, perhaps holding the "ancestors" that previously lived in the manor. He swore they were looking towards them. The thought alone made him go a bit ridged.
"Well, I'm splitting from you dorks. See you up front whenever," Cassidy began walking up to the second story.
"I'm coming too!!" Jerry spoke loudly, the sound nearly echoing in the seemingly empty part of the mansion.
"W-wait--!" (Y/N) began to call out, but by the time she did, the two younger siblings were already gone.
"Shit.." Both (Y/N) and Gabriel spoke simultaneously. And then their eyes met upon realizing this. The both of them quickly looked away, equally bashful from the unexpectedness of being alone together.
Gabriel cleared his throat in an attempt to regain his composure. "Let's look around down here then," Gabriel suggested in an attempt to rid of the awkwardness. (Y/N) turned back to him to find him already looking at her. He nodded a bit the direction of the hallway in front of them. It was a long hallway, littered with many more paintings. Doors branched off on the walls as well, leading to many different rooms where horrors were going to be held-- or so they thought, anyways. It was a haunted house, so it was hard not to expect something scary to happen. It was the anticipation that was eating at (Y/N) the most. She knew it was going to happen, but not when and that fact scared her a little.
"Y-Yeah.. sure." (Y/N) swallowed back the lump in her throat and moved to join his side. This shouldn't be too bad, right? It was just a haunted house that many people go through for the thrills and to laugh at the horribly made jump scares and costumes the people were in was-- that's what she told herself, anyways, as she walked by her friend's side.
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Aaand that'll be it for tonight! If you like this enough, I'll consider making a part 2 for this one!
#blueycapsules#blueycapsules gabriel#blueycapsules gabriel boseman#gabriel boseman#gabriel boseman x reader#requests#oneshots#requests open#reader insert#one shots#blueycapsules x reader
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ok i rewatched legends of tomorrow 5.04 “slay anything” and i liked it more than when i watched it the first time a few days ago. still had some issues but i think since i knew the big plot twist it changed how i viewed the episode which is a good thing i think. really strong a & b plots, though the c plot with constantine (c for constantine hehe) was a bit weaker. but that’s fine.
my biggest issue was how the episode kind of conflates true crime and horror. simply because horror can be really fun because it’s not real but true crime is talking about real tragedies and atrocities and it feels wrong to make that into something fun. and it’s just really uncomfortable in this episode to see ava treating this serial killer as some kind of celebrity. if she had been super excited to meet, say, a vampire or werewolf, i wouldn’t have minded, but since high schoolers mass murdering their peers is a thing that happens in real life it’s harder for me to find it funny. i enjoyed the cliche horror tropes in this episode but the references to true crime fandom impeded my enjoyment.
when i initially watched the episode i was really frustrated by how much attention was given to the murderer because again it sort of sensationalizes that crime. so i was really happy with the twist that the murderer was actually his mom all along. i was able to enjoy it a lot more the second time knowing that this wasn’t the story of nora trying to placate a bullied high school kid so he doesn’t grow up to be a murderer, but rather was the story of nora connecting with a bullied high school kid and empathizing with the pain and powerlessness he feels and showing him that although life sucks right now things will get better in the future. it’s a smart twist! and it becomes a really powerful story about nora and what it means to her to have the power to make children’s lives better when her own childhood was so hellish. since we have seen what evil murderous nora is like, i think that makes it more poignant how she is acknowledging freddy’s murderous potential and telling him that he can be better than that. of course, it turns out he was never the murderer, but that doesn’t mean he still didn’t have that potential. it’s just great to see nora able to help this kid who was in a bad situation just like she once was.
i like that it’s ray who suggests that they go back in time to prevent the murderer from committing murder. of course it would be ray. he was really sweet in this episode, like when he was so ready to eat nora’s p*ssy but then she fell asleep LOL. actually that was such a great scene bc it sets up nora’s arc for the episode of learning how much her magical gifts can mean to kids while also showing us where ray & nora are in their relationship now. also it’s just a really adorable scene. against my better judgment i did enjoy when ray holds his arm to nora to go to prom and then holds out his other arm for nate. sometimes gay jokes are good actually.
sara & ava were cute......i know i complained about ava’s thing earlier but it was nice to see her so passionate about a hobby or interest. i enjoyed seeing sara having to steer ava back on track while ava kept getting distracted bc usually it’s the other way around. i feel like sara had some really good facial expressions in this one, particularly in response to ava’s silliness. i liked when ava got so excited at them being final girls and then sara called ava her final girl <3
zari stuff in this episode was so good. so so good. the show is taking a lot of delight in poking fun at zari’s wealthy influencer businesswoman nonsense, but it still gets us to treat zari seriously and care about her and empathize with her. that’s partly because we care about the previous zari we’ve known, and partly because tala ashe is a really good actor, but also because the writing isn’t turning zari into a complete joke but instead gives us a complex and nuanced (if very silly) character. when behrad is making fun of her and she says “i’m not a void! i’m a business” oh i felt that. it’s really wonderful seeing her suddenly rediscover her hacker skills. i can’t wait for her impending identity crisis. the irony is that zari is “successful” due to her fame and wealth, but these very things are what are keeping her from being in touch with who she really is and what she really wants.
i also thought it was interesting how zari talks about how her parents favor behrad. i might have misinterpreted it but i felt like there was an implication of cultural misogyny, like her parents favor behrad bc he’s the son. i never had a brother so i never experienced anything like that personally, but i know that in a lot of cultures parents see sons as a strength and daughters as a burden. it felt to me like that was what zari was feeling frustrated about, and that she felt like even though she worked so hard and became so successful her parents still didn’t recognize her worth. but again i might be reading too much into it. regardless it’s a really nice look into the relationship between zari and behrad and i just really adore that sibling relationship.
constantine story was blehhhh whatever. like i get that we need it for the plot but who caressss. at least charlie was there finally! charlie disaster bisexual moments. oh hang on i just realized there were scenes with just charlie & constantine & gary, all canonically bisexual characters. how fun is that. but yeah ummmm sorry constantine i dont care that much about your sad backstory :( i also didnt like this romance with mick and that lady but that’s just because i’m a gay mick truther
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I don't think I ever mentioned the more detailed story of how I was lovebombed and guilt tripped into my relationship with the Demon? Or if I did, I want to tell it again
Tldr version: she guilt tripped me into a polyam relationship with her and the guy she was dating for years
The longer version: she was already I think 4 or almost 5 years into a relationship with my now current fiance and she was basically bored of him because he had turned into a "robot" in order to cope with someone who used whatever she could to be abusive, including emotions . So when me and her started hanging out, we got close fast. I understood her better than most people because I was traumatized, emo, depressed, but also hilarious and enjoyed the same stuff she did and didn't have a tendency to express judgment over some things that deserved that judgment (being consistently bullied and abused for having an opinion will do that). I became the new energy supply for her attention and dramaticism.
So when she got into writing fanfic and I also supported her bc I also like writing in general, she started fantasizing about threesomes, orgies, etc. Somehow that, combined with opening up to me some more "vulnerable" parts of her and listening and listening to her melodrama about how she wanted to be rxped or abused as an excuse to be the way she was (I didn't know "the way she was" meant her being abusive and shitty and calling it her "villain arc" not being obsessed with emo, trauma shit), made her "realize" she was polyam and made a really dramatic show about how she would suppress herself and hide who she was (mixed with "jokes" about death) if it made me uncomfortable.
She also asked fiance if it was okay and he was like uhhh give me a bit to process. Then finally said it was fine because I think he was just grateful to get her distracted long enough for him to enjoy some of the day.
So under the trapping method of her uwu "I've been through so much and abandoned but I'm not saying that to make you date me I'm just saying", I agreed bc I didn't want her to go offing herself.
Well, you can piece together all the bullshit I went through after that from the other posts. There was a few times I mentioned it was weird that she only thought she was polyam because of the sex thing and she defended herself saying it wasn't "just" that. And I agree. See, I only mentioned the sex part because SHE had literally admitted that she used writing as a way to get her real feelings out, and associated said writing with her being polyam and her writing was literally a pile of sex garbage.
There was ABSOLUTELY no cute shit, no romance, nothing like that. (it's also the same writing where she had her character rxped and then later admitted she wanted to be rxped for trauma. And then conveniently changed her character's rxpist to OC's father bc she had an obsession with incest).
However I'm aware now that she liked me because I was a good replacement of an energy source, considering how much she had drained fiance. I listened to her self inserted problems and genuinely thought she was a victim to some sort of system (lol) so I hyped her up way too much compared to what she deserved, and again not having a real voice. But of course, she would never admit any of that, not even to herself. So as far as she's aware, despite the denial, she only wanted to date because she was sex driven and had unrealistic fantasies of polyam relationships (which is why she rxped me, used me or manipulated me for sex, whined and bitched about us not having threesomes like it was an actual relationship problem, etc).
Anyway, a while later we closed the triangle by me and fiance dating. Her hyped up attitude (bc threesomes lol) and me genuinely liking fiance made me a little pushy for answers about whether or not he was going to actually ask me out bc of course she would sprinkle in things here and there whenever I became insecure. And everything I did for his approval I already talked to fiance about and apologized for being pushy and he reassured me everything was okay (bc I have the self awareness to be remorseful instead of weaponize incompetence, unlike some people lol).
Well, after realizing how shitty she was and how miserable fiance was, I encouraged/helped him to leave. And no I wasn't doing it as a "homewrecker", I didn't do it to have him all to myself on purpose. I still stayed with the abuser because I didn't want her to go off herself while she was kicked out (before being broken up with) of the home that she was never grateful for bc "old guy has COPD so I can't smoke in the house and I'm not allowed to scream in the middle of the night at video games but someone can talk loud during the day when my leeching ass is trying to sleep after 24 hours"
And back into the home that "she thought she escaped from" which is a little dramatic for living with a lazy but otherwise supportive dad, that she supported in the divorce between him and her mom anyways, and literally used all the time so she could crash over at his place a few times a week on purpose when she did live with fiance. 🤷
Then she mentioned that she was a rxpist when she called me from the hospital and I lost pretty much all hope and we "mutually" broke up, bc im not dating fiance's rxpist? I can fool myself into thinking you can be "accidentally" abusive but I cannot fool myself into believing you can brag about being a rxpist and then turn around and have the absolute gall to demand exactly what you did wrong because you don't understand why you were broken up with. That ALONE was enough, let alone all the other shit we told you about several times.
But I again, stayed friends with her and just lightened up a bit on talking to her because I somehow, SOMEHOW had the hope that she was genuinely sorry and that EVERYTHING ELSE was still "not her intention", and that I could *drumroll* fix her. That was... not the case.
No but what I did find out from fiance is that she was talking behind my back the entire time, saying my mental health didn't matter compared to hers and that I basically was annoying to play games with (which I detected yet she also got mad at me when I decided to stop playing lol) and in general just a huge burden on her. How she hated me, didn't want to be with me, picked favorites and tried getting fiance to pick favorites, which at first he agreed so she wouldn't abuse him, but then turned to "I like you both equally" which PISSED her off lmao. And in general tried to manipulate the situation so that way fiance would start mistreating me too just to sabotage our relationship and treat me like shit (which didn't happen).
Man the like once or twice I got caught venting behind her back about her genuine behavior made her FLIP but she can make fun of my self harm and music choices and my art and just chalk it up to "jealousy".
I told her I had to go no contact like fiance bc you can fake not knowing that x thing is manipulative(esp when your emotional abuse is based on faking being genuinely mentally unstable and incapable of understanding morals), but you cant fake bragging about rxpe and you can't fake hiding that shit behind my back nonetheless. You can't play dumb with things you admit are bad or play dumb on things that you are aware is bad enough for you to need to hide it from me.
Then she asked for one more time for me to explain shit and do one more thing of emotional labor and send her the list of things she did (see tag ex abuser chronicles), I stopped talking to her and kept her on my fb bc I knew she would just talk shit again and play victim when I unadded her.
Unfortunately I didn't realize she would resort to passive aggressive postings, I blocked her, then she acted like I wanted her to suffer and was mad that she wasn't (no, I'm mad that you have to lie in order to be happy with yourself instead of learning to accept what you've done and be *truthfully* happy with who you are after you worked on yourself.
And 2 years later I'm still with fiance rolling up on our 3 year anniversary and we both have animosity toward her but he's more quiet about it and acceptant (he had 5 years to emotionally disconnect and accept the situation). Meanwhile I'm still angry about the audacity and somewhat angry at myself for fooling MYSELF into believing she was as stupid as she made herself seem (for that anyway. I don't believe she's a smart person altogether, but).
So yeah, red flag: being manipulated into a relationship to begin with when someone who was mono for 5 years starts ignoring her partner and then claims to be polyam after writing about threesomes
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Yauna’s Wrestling Thoughts (Review for Raw on August 20th, 2023)
Sami zayn/ the judgement day segment
five minutes of standing whole the crowd sings and cheers
He doesn’t even get a word in then the caddy shack (the judgement day) comes waltzing in
Then THEY don’t even get to say a word when KO runs through there to deliver a STUNNER
Then Kevin does the right thing and cuts off the audience to set up a match against the judgement day, says some French gibberish and tosses the mic.
•Slow start but great set up at the end —> 7.5 Kurt Angles out of 10
New Day v Drew and Riddle
thoughts right off the bat: I love the new day and I have negative feelings about drew and riddle (THAT SHOULD BE RANDY!!! D:) but I know this match will be entertaining for what it’s giving
then the new day stands in the dark for the commercial. Did you know that? When there’s a commercial they just stand around until the broadcast is live again with the lights down. I love it.
Love how Drew tosses Riddle into the new day. That was so sweet somehow. Any awkward feelings I had about them dissolved after that. I didn’t want it to be a Randy relationship and they’re serving Scottish warrior realness instead.
Drew never got tagged in and the Viking raiders disrupted the match
drew stood there and looked pretty until until after the match but riddle and drew has real chemistry tonight —> 6.7 Kurt Angles out of 10
Interview with JD and Finn
A couple of leprechauns talking that boo boo.
•Don’t even remember what they were talking about —> 4 Kurt Angles out of 10
Shayna Promo
Tbh she deserves a lot more and she’s lowKEY getting it now.
•Nice package and the visual of Ronda getting her skull cracked was funny and I laughed and I’m going to hell —> 9 Kurt Angles out of 10
Words from Gunther and AA interview
it’s Gunther and AA- what else do I have to say? I been waiting for this one!
•Bryon looks like a human with hair and segment was great —> 9 Kurt Angles out of 10
Gunther v Chad for IC
I love cute men fighting. This is either gonna be amazing or super disappointing.
IT WAS SUPER DISAPPOINTING —> 0 Kurt Angles out of 10
Caddy Shack Discussion Hour
soft booing for Dominick in the distance
Mami showed her dominance —> 8 Kurt Angles out of 10
Cody Rhodes interview
adrenaline in his hole. Don’t know why he called JD a funko pop but that’s funny. I bet he loves that audience reaction. He was talking that big French today.
Obama said when I was younger —> 7 Kurt Angles out of 10
Shinske promo
Love that Shinske mentions Seth’s back- I read an article not too long ago about that so I’m glad Shinske will take advantage of that.
very nice, very evil, watch your back —> 8 Kurt Angles out of 10
Mami v Candace
This is just gonna end up being a mommy mash. Both of them look super hot so I’m just gonna enjoy it. Rhea submits Candace but I’m more intrigued at how healthy Candace’s hair is despite it being bleached and purple. Rodriquez comes by to say hello and whoop some ass which was nice of her. Then she set up a Payback match (hoping she wins ngl).
gonna enjoy my weekly Rhea picture from my brother later, 8.7 Kurt Angles out of 10
Ciampa Blab
He’s got small dog energy and that’s all I have to say on him.
he was angy —> 7 Kurt Angles out of 10
The Miz v Tozowa
Great talk from the Miz as always. And i laughed a few times when Tozowa came out lol. Glad they giving him something to do bc I think he’s pretty damn good for a jobber LA Knight distracted Miz and he got his ass handed to him and got a good yeah to the face. I got the privilege to see an LA Knight match in person and it was amazing. If Tozowa wins I’m gonna give this match a 10.
Tozowa won and Miz got some LA Knight love —> 10 Kurt Angles out of 10 (MEGA KURT ANGLE!!!!)
The New Day and McRiddle
wasn’t gonna mention it bc it’s short but mcriddle got me giggling —> 8/10
The Man speaks
I pray for Becky’s make every night bc she looks different every appearance. I’m not a fan of the Trish rivalry but everyone gotta do something. Trish milking the Canada teet even more tonight except she twists it at the end and I thought that was funny. Excited for that steel cage match, however. I always love seeing them get tossed into the cage or see them scaling it for their dear life. Becky talking about fighting Stark next week- finally, get her to work!
blah blah blah, Trish —> 7 Kurt Angles out of 10
Chelsea and Piper interview + fight v. Kayden and katana
Byron is on fire tonight I guess. I love the dominance from Piper, she really did nail he audition. I’m expecting a fairish fight but a quick one, with Piper absolutely dominating.
I really like Kay and Kat but they really just fillers at this point. In the future they’re gonna be a great team if they stick together. And I was wrong, this was a squash match, but still entertaining to see Piper whoop some ass on her own.
I’m like the only Piper Stan on this planet —> 8.2 Kurt Angles out of 10
Piper package
She is my idol. You don’t see a powerhouse like her. I remember when she was empowering and sweet, but I like her as a heel much more.
slam me into the ring —> 9 Kurt Angles out of 10
Seth Rollins interview
Daddy Rollins speaks! and the crowd sings, nothing new. However, there was a spark of honesty here about his back. I felt like he was being somewhat genuine about his it. I’m living for a Heel Shinske!!!
nice mic clip Seth —> 7.9 Kurt Angles out of 10
Main event- KO and Sami v The Caddy Shack
am I excited for this? Meh. You’d think the magic between this feud would be out by now. I miss when Zayn was an honorary uce. However, if the judgement day crumbles I would be kind of happy.
They’re facing Damien and Finn cuz Mami said so!
Kevin Owens gets him and Sami disqualified cuz JD tried to throw Damien’s brief case at Finn, so the caddy shack had to gang up on JD. Cody said fuck that noise and wanted the smoke from the judgement day. When Dominick breathes the crowd hates it “I run this bitch” more like the bitch (Rhea) runs YOU
Damien clotheslined Kevin and that mfer spun like a merry go ground 😭KO Sami and Cody win, Caddy Shack loses and breaks down into tears.
the fall of judgment day is near —> 8.9 Kurt Angles out of 10
First Raw I don’t fall asleep to in a while. There was a lot of progression story wise and a lot of faces that deserve more screen time so I give this episode a thumbs up.
Overall rating: 8 Kurt Angles out of 10
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Promo time!!
Ooh a retreat 👀👀?
Like a vacation I mean :))
Lol Shaun's just preparing, it's required as a dad to plan out the pee breaks xDD
OPE AWWW DD':
Wait we went to a dog instead and then a different doctor, so that probably means we won't see the rest of the gang in this next episode 👀👀 huh, interesting
Poor Powell though, she has to wait even longer xdd
Anyway lol
Awww this poor dog :'((
Are they gonna adopt it :D? That's what I thought when I first saw it lol
Yk he's not a dog surgeon right xD
Like they can't all have the same properties lol, all surgeries I mean
Aww it's all wrapped up DD: :'((
SLFKHDKS "I will find a surgery" XDD aight fair enough Shaun lol
(what do you bet they still end up adopting it xD)
A lot easier to get through the promo liveblog (especially since I was behind because I could've caught up the bit I was behind just fine but I just had to watch those last few minutes distraction free xD) when it's just one storyline lol
I hope the dog's okay :((
This'll certainly be an interesting one though!!
Okay, that's the end of my last thoughts! Now it's time for the. . .
REVIEW
I loved this episode!! I thought it was amazing. It felt super long xD, but not in a bad way lol! I just don't know how they fit that much in there xD. I imagine (and am thinking as I'm going over it in my head) that up on a rewatch, especially since I won't be liveblogging it, it'll probably feel a bit faster paced, but I'm okay with that :)) It was wild though, lol. So many emotional moments, if less outright crazy in many different areas than the last episode, but the tension of that last bit :((( how dare they xdd
Anyway! Now let's get started with people's individual parts :)
First off, we've got Jordan and Perez. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HOW DARE THEYYYYYYY!! XD. I'm glad Perez is doing okay, but the regret that we just kept feeling emanating from him was heartbreaking. Like, again an again I could see how broken up he was over everything - understandable. And Jordan just trying to be there for him - girl, stop 😭😭😭❤️. Not literally, I mean stop bc my emotions XD. And then that ending of Perez saying he literally would do anything to love her, even if it killed him, so he had to stay away.
I- y'all 😭😭😭😭 xd. That is ABSOLUTELY. ILLEGAL xDD 😭😭😭😭. That entire scene was so sad 💔💔 :'((. I do hope they can be together one day, but I understand what he's saying and right now just isn't the time <3 :(. It's what's best, but it's gonna be so painful 😭. For me and for each of them xD. Anyway, I just really hope this all works out <33. My babeys deserve it 🥰❤️.
Lim (and Cay)! You're up next lol. SHE CAN WALK AGAINNNN :DDDDD!!! Congrats, Lim 🥳🥳🥳🥳. I'm so happy :')). Obviously I'd be happy (in general and for her, both of which am) no matter what, but she wanted this and she's achieving it, so I'm glad <3333. I'm also glad she isn't just ~immediately better~. She has to heal, and learn how to walk again, and get used to this being her reality again. It'll be a tough road, though surely a lot of it was of screen, but I think it'll work out and be worth it in the end :)). Anyway! I'm really glad she didn't accept the proposal! They both know they love each other and will support each other - marriage just isn't it for them right now. And I mean, they haven't even been dating that long lol. Not by most people's standards xD. But AAAHHHH, they're moving in together!! That's amazing, and it was a really cute scene 🥰🥰🥰. I could feel Lim's tension this episode, but I don't think that's indicative of their relationship, just the nerves of the situations :). And, of course, she did great on the surgeries :DD.
Hi Morgan, and hi Park!! These two, y'all 😭😭😭 xDD. They're both idiots, and so chaotic, but I love them xDD. Obviously they were still stumbling with their boundaries and current relationship this episode, but overall they were pretty good :)). And sure, maybe Park's being selfish, but the scene was adorable 😭😭🥰 xD. Plus, AAAHHHHH!!! I'm so happy for Morgan :DDD!!! Congrats girl 🥳🥳🥳🥳!! On the eggs, that is, lol. Also, I love how despite the fact that they do have an improved relationship, she still went to the appointment with Glassman instead of Park. They have a really good and interesting dynamic, so I think that was nice :)). I love you guys ❤️❤️❤️🥰.
Asher, and Jerome! Hi guys, it's your time now :D. I love how supportive Asher was this episode 🥰. I mean, he usually is, but case-wise, since we only had the two, we didn't really see him. He was helping with Lea, obviously, but that plotline wasn't so much about the team assigned to the patient and figuring out the medical solution as it was specifically about Lea (naturally). I know they still had to come up with surgeries and what not, but this wasn't focused on the doctors I mean, more the patient. Idk if any of that makes sense, but whatever xD. My point is, it was really great to see Asher being there for Lea and Shaun so much :'DD. And AAAHHHHH that hand holding and hug and stuff at the end between Asher and Jerome - stop y'all I'm dead 😭😭😭. It was so great to see them there, supporting each other and supporting Shaun too :')). And everyone else there - they were all supporting everyone okay lol? But mostly Shaun xD. Anyway, I love them 🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️ <333. They are my babeys and I'm really glad we got see Jerome, I didn't think we would! Oh and of course, wonderful icon moments from Asher 😌. He was supportive but he was also still living his best life, and calling Shaun out and whatnot. I love him your honor 🥰🥰. And of course Jerome, Iove him too 🥰🥰. I love them both 😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰.
Also, quick bit in here for our missing girl: Powell, I miss youuu 😭😭, I love youuuu ❤️❤️🥰. See you in a bit - next episode, hopefully xD. It'll be really nice to see her again :))!!
Andrews! Just real quick :). I loved his scene with Shaun <33. He just so supportive, just. . . BEING there. I think it really meant a lot to Shaun, even if naturally he was preoccupied by other things, and it probably hurt me emotionally (in a good way lol, not actual hurt xD) more than him xD. Idk, I just felt like he appreciated it, you know? Everybody needs support sometimes :')). But yeah, I think it was really great how he just sat there and listened 🥰🥰❤️❤️. I believe he did talk a little (I don't quite remember lol I was busy losing my mind xD), and if I remember correctly that was amazing to :')). Just- them 😭❤️. So yeah, I just loved it :'). Great job, Andrews <333. Love you sir 🥰🥰❤️.
And now, finally, here we are: to Shaun and Lea.
Y'ALLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️. This entire episode was unfair xD 😭💔. All the ups and downs and problems and solutions - gosh, it killed me 😭😭. BUT! HEY! It didn't kill Lea. Or the baby. SO! I'M COUNTING THAT AS A WIN XD. Bc I did genuinely get scared for a second there lol xD. I was like ". . . the wouldn't dare. . ." but also with a overtone and undertone of freaking out XDD. In fact, I'm pretty sure I said exactly that lol (they wouldn't dare). Ah, anyways xD!
THEY'RE HAVING A BABYYYY Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰. I am so excited :')). There better be no more complications besides maybe, obviously, a slightly dramatic birth xD. Obviously bc this is The Good Doctor we're talking about here xDD.
Aaanyway, I love how much they supported each other this episode :'). I felt so bad for Lea with the stress and the fear, and the boredom lol. And same for Shan at the end with that anxiety and fear, and the anxiety after her first surgery, with not letting other people near her basically lol. She needed people and he was making mistakes about that from the stress, but h started fixing them and it was sweet to see how much he cared :')). The just- y'all, they love each other so much 😭😭😭❤️❤️😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️😭🥰🥰❤️❤️. And of course, lastly, I am so glad Lea survived and the baby's okay, and I am so happy for them :'D. That painting the walls of the nursery scene at the end? AMAZING. ICONIC. THANK YOU 😭😭😭❤️😍🥰❤️❤️. It was wonderful :')). I love Shaun so much <3333 ❤️. And I love Lea so much <3333 ❤️.
Overall, I loved this episode. I thought it had a nice focus on most of the cast of characters, and of course it was very dramatic lol. It felt so long but not in a bad way! I think it might actually feel a bit fast paced upon a rewatch lol, but we'll see when I do that I guess! But yeah; I thought al the plots were great, everything was suitably crazy, and I'm just excited have all my babeys back :')). I'm also interested in seeing where it goes from here :D.And, of course, I have to mention the ending scene. Well, more the waiting scene than anything else, but I'm including after that as well xD. Just, everyone coming to support Shaun and be there for Lea, to wait for her - it was amazing :')) 😭❤️. It was so powerful, especially with the music, seeing them all come one by one (basically), and sit down. No speaking, no noise, just them all being there, loving and supporting each other. I was amazing 😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰. Just- one of those group scenes, you know :')? Every tv show has them. The kind that get dramatic shots in edits, the kind that make an episode, or a plot, or a season, or the show. Though hopefully there's more than one if it's the show lol. And of course you can always have more even at smaller levels than the show as a whole. But, anyway, my point is: it was amazing. It summed up their little family in one scene, and I loved it <33. Plus, the pure joy when they found out Lea was okay, all the hugs and smiles and laughter. And the clapping at the end 😭😭😭❤️🥰🥰. Y'all, its just- they're so special to me <3. I love them so much :')). But, anyhoo. An amazing episode, and an amazing return for the second half of the season :D!
So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was great. I'm excited to see where we go next! This has been my review of. . .
The Good Doctor, Season 6, Episode 10: Quiet and Loud
What an amazing episode! I'm super excited for the next one, it definitely looks interesting. I'll be back next week for my review of. . .
The Good Doctor, Season 6, Episode 11: The Good Boy
See you then!
#the good doctor#tgd#oasis's tgd chatter#that title is both sweet 🥰 and sad and terrifying 😭 having scen the promo xD#for the next one lol#anyway#DONE#didn't get it done before lone star but I got from splitting off into individuals to just saying hi but not yet starting jerome and asher's#earlier and then since I post them in order (and therefore wanted to post this one first) I came back and did the rest after I (almost)#finished the ls one lol#aaanyway#amazing episode!!!#I loved it so much :DD#love you guys 🥰🥰🥰😚!!!#byeee ❤️❤️❤️ <3 :)))!!
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How is cas different from ur other girlfriends
akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8
the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.
okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.
first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.
like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.
okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).
and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.
HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.
and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.
but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.
#according to my girlfriend i spent over 2 hours writing this#AltHouGh#she DID distract me a few times bc she was being cute#and i love her#wow i love her#i know anon is definitely not gonna read this but my girl will alhajska#mine#answered#anon#luna
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