Can we talk about how in all the 2011 Post-Qualifying pics, Jense and Seb are always gravitating towards each other, and then Mark/Lewis are just🧍‍♂️

Fresh Love Modeling 🍊

You never guessed that Chris Sturniolo would reach out for you to model his Fresh Love clothing brand. You had been following him on social media a while and definitely had a crush on him. What you didn’t know is that when Chris had seen your modeling portfolio he started crushing too. The two of you end up alone in his dressing room together after the photoshoot and things heat up.

chris sturniolo x fem! reader

entirely in Chris’s POV

warnings: cursing, flirty and smuttyyyyy

author’s note: writing this completely sleep deprived :) did not proofread lolz

I want to sit on his lap so bad in this pic

My Fresh Love brand is super important to me and I am so grateful that it has grown in popularity thanks to my fans. I want to grow this brand and reach out to creators and artists outside of the fandom in hopes that eventually Fresh Love Clothing can be sold in stores nationwide. A big part of Fresh Love, and any clothing brand, is the marketing which I take very seriously. I always want to have a diverse group of models, but ultimately they also should be attractive and have a cool aesthetic to be the face of the brand. I had sent out a model casting call last month, and my friend Tril and I were going through all the applications. Tril truly saw my vision and we were usually on the same page when it came to models we thought would work well for the brand.

Today was definitely a “work day” in the house— Nick was editing our recent car vlog, Matt was brainstorming video ideas, and Tril and I sat on the couch on our laptops going through hundreds of model portfolios together. We had been scrolling through applications for nearly two hours and I was honestly bored out of my mind. Luckily, we found a handful of models we like, but I still felt like one was missing. There was a certain look, a certain vibe, that I was looking for and I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew I’d know the second I saw them.

“Hey take a look at this one. I recognize this girl… I think she follows us on insta or something?” Tril says passing me his laptop. Damn. This girl was beyond fine. I scrolled through her portfolio pictures, and I really liked her modeling style. She didn’t look mainstream, which I liked, but she had a really unique look. “Do you recognize her?” Tril said interrupting my thoughts.

“No. I’d definitely remember her if I had seen her before.” I said. I went to the top of her application page, her name was Y/N.

“I like her portfolio and I think she’s a good fit for the brand.” Tril says.

“Absolutely. I really like her. I’m going to accept her application right now.” I said sending her an acceptance sheet back with the photo shoot information.

***

I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. I couldn’t sleep. I always have trouble falling asleep because I’ll have a thousand creative ideas that I bounce back and forth in my head, but this time I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking of Y/N. Tril said she followed us, right? I grab my phone and open instagram and typed her name in the search bar, and her profile popped up. She was following Tril and I as well as my brothers, our group account, and our podcast account. Nice, she’s a fan! I went through her posts and God, she was stunning. I wanted to follow her, but I knew if fans saw that they’d get all sorts of crazy ideas and make assumptions so I decided I’d wait to follow her until the Fresh Love shoot would be posted so everyone knew who she was. I looked at some modeling shots she posted, laid back pictures with her friends, and I was unapologetically looking for any signs that she was dating anyone which from her profile she appeared to be single. I saw some of her swimsuit modeling shots she had done recently, and I zoomed in on all parts of her body. Her amazing body. She had these thick thighs that contoured perfectly with her cute ass. My thoughts wandered off, thinking of how badly I wanted those thighs wrapped around my head. I got hard at the thought of it. I continued to mindlessly stalk her instagram before I finally fell asleep… dreaming of her.

*** one month later ***

It was Fresh Love photoshoot day, or as I thought of it, the day I finally get to meet Y/N after crushing on her this past month. I got to the studio before any of the models were scheduled to arrive so I could talk with the photographers and mark out the spaces where I wanted to shoot. I get upstairs and see someone siting in a chair outside the photography studio. When they hear me approaching they look up, and my breath hitches in my throat, it was Y/N. My heart immediately started beating faster, but I knew I had to keep it cool both professionally and so I don’t utterly embarrass myself in front of her.

“Chris! Hey, I’m sorry I know the models aren’t supposed to be here for another hour. Honestly I was hoping to catch a moment alone with you before we shoot.” She says nervously with a big, beautiful smile on her face. She wanted to see me? Alone? I hadn’t realize I went silent for a moment while I was caught up in my thoughts until Y/N interrupted.

“Umm I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just such a huge fan of yours and your brothers, and I wanted to tell you that. Also to tell you I am so grateful and excited to be modeling for Fresh Love. I love your brand and own a few things from it already just from following you for a while now.” She says.

“Oh, no you didn’t scare me! Sorry, I guess I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone this early. I’m happy to hear you’re a fan, and thanks for supporting my brothers and I, it means a lot. I really liked your modeling application and I’ve been looking forward to shooting with you.” I replied. I looked and sounded collected on the outside, but on the inside I was definitely nervous. I’m usually super confident talking to girls, even ones that I like, but Y/N had me acting different. She gave me a sweet smile before we walked into the studio together.

The other models started showing up as I led them to their dressing rooms where their Fresh Love clothing was waiting for them to change into. I stood in front of the backdrop for the first set of pictures and saw as the models rounded the corner all dressed in Fresh Love. Y/N wore the emerald green sweat set, and damn she looked good. The bright color just worked so perfectly with her complexion and brought out the color in her beautiful eyes. Seeing my own brand on her body drove me crazy. Man, this chick has me on a leash.

As time went by the photographers took group shots of all the models together, and some individual shots of each of them. When it came time for Y/N individual shots she was a natural. Her poses were relaxed, but strong and confident at the same time. She really wore the brand well and I was looking forward to seeing the results. She wraps up her individual shots and starts walking over to me.

“So, how did I look?” She says giving me a flirtatious look.

“Really, really great. I was thinking maybe we can get some pictures of just us two together for the Fresh Love instagram.” I said.

“Sounds great!” She says with a smile. She takes a step closer to me and leans in slightly, “Should I go change?” She asks but this time quieter so only I could hear. She makes me so nervous.

“Y-yeah. There’s, um, there’s a pair of joggers and a t-shirt in your dressing room if you want to change into that for me.” I said stuttering.

“Of course, anything for you.” She says confidently flirting with me. I think she can tell she made me nervous, and she was taking advantage of it. That’s so hot.

***

This time I was wearing the black hoodie and jogger set while Y/N wore the gray joggers and blue t-shirt. I sat on the couch we were using for the shoot, and she comes out of her dressing room to join me. She looked really great. I smiled at her and moved over so she could sit on the couch next to me.

“I’m thinking for the first few poses we just sit here kinda relaxed, looking at the camera. Then we do some where you stand behind the couch leaning over it while I sit here in front of you.” I said.

“Yeah sounds good!.” She says, and with that we start posing for the camera. The photographer has us scotch closer together, and I drape my arm behind her on the top of the couch. It was difficult to keep my eyes on the camera because all I wanted to do in the moment was to look at her. She moves off the couch to position herself behind it. “Like this, Chris?” She asks.

I turn around and see her bent over, arms crossed on the back of the couch. Fuck, her ass looks nice bent over like this. “Yeah, looks great.” I smile at her. I turn back around and the camera continues to click. We move around slightly to get different angles. She moves one of her hands to rest on my shoulder. I feel her hand slide up the back of my neck as her fingertips gently play around with my hair. The tension was palpable. I sharply inhale, a chill moving down my spine, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my cool much longer.

“Okay how about we call that a wrap for today. Great job everyone thanks so much for being here.” I blurt out getting off the couch, shaking a few of the photographers hands, before I quickly run into my dressing room without turning back.

***

In the dressing room I can hear the photographers packing up their gear and leave. The other models had gone home for the day, and I wasn’t sure if Y/N had left yet either. I found my answer when I hear a slight knock at the door, “Chris?” She says faintly, “Can I come in?” I’m frozen, I don’t answer before she comes into the room still dressed in her Fresh Love fit. “Are you okay? You seemed kinda frantic towards the end there.” She asks sincerely. I seriously debated telling her I liked her, but I knew that wouldn’t be professional of me.

“Yeah, I just get nervous shooting sometimes.” I lied. Y/N scoffs a little.

“You, nervous? I’ve never been more nervous for a photoshoot before. Having THE Chris Sturniolo sitting inches away for me all day long is something I had only ever dreamed of.” She laughs. “You definitely made me nervous today. God, I’m sorry I sound like such a stupid fangirl right now.” She says looking down.

“I never would have thought you were nervous. You seemed super confident today.” I say.

“Maybe. I tried to be confident so I could impress you.”

“Impress me?” I say a little surprised. She looks up and nods her head. I stand up and approach her meeting her in the middle of the room, “You’ve impressed me plenty, pretty girl.” I’m unsure of where this sudden boldness came from, but I could tell Y/N liked it when her body relaxed, and I could see her whole demeanor change. She looked up at me with seductive eyes.

“I’m glad to hear that,” she runs her hand up my arm before resting it on my chest, “I’m sure I can impress you in other ways too.” Her eyes flash from mine down to my noticeable, growing erection, and then back up to my lips. I can’t keep it in any longer. I lean down and kiss her soft lips, her hand meets the side of my face and my lips part for her to deepen the kiss moving her tongue across mine. We step back and my back hits the wall when her lips move from mine down to my neck bitting and sucking ever so gently.

“Fuck.” I moan softly. I feel her smile into my neck, and she moves a hand down to gingerly palm my boner over my pants.

“I’ve been wanting to touch you like this all day.” She says breathlessly as she pulls away from my neck to look me in the eyes.

“Oh yeah? What else have you wanted to do princess?” I ask suggestively. She smiles, and with that she drops to her knees. She hooks her fingers in the band of my sweatpants before pulling them down to my knees. She places soft kisses on my dick through my underwear, and the slight contact made me groan.

“Eager, aren’t we?” She says as she begins to pull my underwear down. My rock hard dick springs up and hits my stomach and her eyes widen while her mouth parts. She looks up at me and I begin to wrap her hair in my hand holding it back for her while the other gripped the chair next to me as I brace myself. She plants tiny kisses on my thighs on either side of my dick, and the teasing had my cock twitching with every kiss.

“Please, Y/N, please stop teasing.” I sigh. She runs her tongue from the base of my cock on the underside of my dick to the tip where she licks the precum from the slit. She swirls her tongue around my head a few times before pulling away and spitting into her hand. She spreads the wetness on my length as she pumps me a few times before wrapping her lips around my head and pushing her head forward. I let out a moan when I feel my dick hit the back of her throat. She keeps one hand tight at the base of my cock, pumping and twisting it as she bobs her head up and down on it. I’m a whimpering mess. My grip tightens in her hair as I help move her head at a steady pace. Her hand lets go of my shaft as she moves her head all the way forward, taking my full length into her mouth gagging slightly. I look down to see her already looking up at me with tears forming in her eyes. I felt my dick twitch in her mouth as I was close to cumming, but I tugged her hair and pulled her off my length before I could do so.

I move the chair I had been grabbing onto with one hand as my other reached for her chin and guided her to stand.

“Sit.” I demanded. She obliged and sat in the chair as I got to my knees and started pulling the sweatpants off of her. I caress her thighs with my big hands before pulling her thong off and I stare at her dripping wet cunt.

“Did I make you this wet?” I ask, and all she can do is shake her head. “I want you to use your words pretty girl.”

“Yes.” She whines out. “You always make me this wet.”

“Always?” I question. “Do you think about me when you touch yourself?” I ask. She nods her head again.

“Yes.” She says.

“Do you use your fingers when you touch yourself, princess?”

“Yes” she says. My fingertips move agonizingly slow up and down her folds spreading the wetness around.

“And who’s fingers do you imagine are pumping inside of you when you’re touching yourself baby.”

“Yours Chris. Always yours.” She moans out. Without warning I shove two of my fingers deep into her cunt eliciting a sweet moan from her lips. I pump my fingers in and out of her at a fast pace causing her to grip the back of my head roughly, my hair tight in between her fingers. I kitty lick her clit and curl my fingers inside her.

“F-fuck Chris.” She moans out. I continue moving my fingers in and out of her while I lay my tongue flat licking up and down her clit, sucking on it for a few seconds at a time. She pants, trying to catch her breath as she breathes heavier.

“Chris. CHRIS— I’m gonna cum.” With that I immediately pull my fingers out of her and raise my head.

“Not yet, princess. I want you to cum all over my cock for me baby.” I wrap my arms under her thighs and lift her off of the seat carrying her over to the makeup vanity counter across the room. I place her down and she stands facing me.

She reaches for the hem of her shirt to take it off, and I abruptly stop her grabbing her wrist tightly.

“Leave it on princess. I want to watch myself fucking you while you wear my clothes.”

My hands reach her waist and turn her around roughly pushing down on her upper back to bend her over across the counter. I look in the mirror to see her flushed face and eyes blown with lust. I had never been so sex hungry before. I ripped my hoodie off, and began to align my dick at her entrance. I slid the head of my dick in between her folds getting it nice and wet before I pushed in slowly making me groan loudly. Y/N gasps as I enter her, not ready for my size. I bottom out and stand still, letting her adjust to my length. Suddenly, without warning she begins to lean forward and back moving herself on my cock.

“Please move, Chris.” She begged. I smiled at her in the mirror. I started moving in and out of her with slow, hard thrusts. Her walls were warm and tight around my cock. We moaned together as I kept the steady pace.

“Chris?” She says.

“What is it princess?” I look at her in the mirror, half of her now messy hair covering her flushed pink face. She adjusts her arms to grab the front of the countertop. She lifts her chest up slightly, and the FRESH on her shirt is now visible in the mirror.

“Fuck me. Harder.” She pleads, and that was all I needed to hear. I went absolutely feral. I grabbed her hair with one hand making sure to pull her up enough that I could see her Fresh Love shirt in the mirror. My other hand laid flat just above her ass, pushing down so I could balance myself as I relentlessly thrust in and out of her tight pussy.

“Fuck. Fuck, Y/N! You feel so good pretty girl.”

“Chris, I’m gonna cum…” She whines breathlessly.

“Good girl. I want you to cum all over my cock for me.” I say back. We make eye contact in the mirror and I feel her walls clench around me sending a pulsating sensation through my cock, and I knew I was close too. Her face scrunches and she repeatedly moans my name. I feel her cunt tighten and relax around me as she comes all over my cock, and we maintain eye contact as she does.

Seeing her face while she came on my dick was what I needed. My thrusts got harder and sloppier as I felt my dick twitch inside her.

“I’m gonna cum, Y/N! Oh, FUCK.” I moan loudly as I feel myself release my big load into her pussy, my cum coating her walls. I thrust a few more times riding out my high before pulling out seeing our orgasms drip out of her cunt. Y/N turns to face me, and tries to stand but fails as her knees wobble and she grabs the countertop as to not fall down. My hands grab her sides to help balance her.

“You’re amazing, princess.” I say to her. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” I place a gentle kiss on her lips before moving my hands to the bottom of her shirt pulling it up. She raises her arms up as I lift the Fresh Love tee over her head. I crouch down and gently begin wiping her clean with the t-shirt.

“Chris! Not the Fresh Love shirt!” Y/N says surprised and in a concerned tone of voice.

“Baby, it’s my brand. I can do whatever the fuck I want with it.” I smirk, earning a cute giggle from her.

**********

This was my first time writing smut and I think it’s kinda trash but lmk what your thoughts are.

- Kay 🖤

HAH! Got 'Em!!!

Hello hello hello! First fic in a couple months for my newest fandom Lego Monkie Kid! This is a Lee!Nezha, Lers!Wukong, Mei and MK ticklefic, so if it isn't your forte, no need to read!

(This is Nezha, if anyone wants to gaze upon this absolutely beautiful specimen uwu)

Summary: Wukong wanted to test out if their resident Third Lotus Prince was ticklish. Only Buddha knows what kind of chaos arose from it.

“This is purely experimentative, kid.”

“No it isn’t, Monkey King.”

“Yeaaaaah-no, no it isn’t.”

Mk snorted with a roll of his eyes as Wukong took a few strands of fur from his head, gently blowing on them to produce a few feathers.

“C’mon! You can’t say you’re not curious. I know that look in your eye.” He was right, of course, Mk was pretty curious about this idea too. Would Nezha actually be ticklish? Given that he was reincarnated from a plant-a lotus no less-there had to be something his body did and didn’t replicate from the original, right?

“Has he ever even been tickled before?” Mk wonders aloud, sitting down in the seat next to Wukong. The Noodle Shop was pretty empty today save for his friends and, well obviously, the Lotus Prince himself. Mk’s both surprised and relieved that the man actually found time to take a break, and even felt honored that he’d want to spend it here, with them.

Now he’s wondering how long it’ll be until he regrets it.

“Hmm, not from what I can recall? No???” Monkey King squeaked, looking as if he was seriously racking his brain for some kind of memory. “Yeah no, not from what I can remember.”

“If he’s actually ticklish you’re going to kill him.”

“Oh Pfft, nah he won’t die. You can’t die like that! I think.”

Mk was not about to tell Monkey King that you can, in fact, meet death by tickling. Not right now at least.

No one seemed to notice the little cluster of feathers floating closer and closer to the prince, who found himself in a rather engaging conversation with Tang about some history or other that Mk couldn’t parse out. They both waited with bated breath as he shifted his arms to rest comfortably on the counter.

“Welp, I’ve got nothing to lose.” Famous last words, but alright.

And then the feathers shot into Nezha’s armor.

And look-

LOOK-

The sheer volume of the scream Nezha let out as he flew right off the chair-Mk couldn’t help but crack up laughing as Wukong ducked under the table in surprise, trying to stifle his own laughter.

“HAH!! GOT ‘EEEEEEEEEEEM!!!” Mk screamed as Nezha grabbed and tussled at his clothing, shrieks erupting from his throat.

“Lotus boy!? Mk what did you do!?” Mei exclaimed, clearly less intent on helping and more intent on actually knowing what the fuck they had done.

“THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY ARMOR! THEHEHERE’S-OH MY GOHOHOD WHAT THE FU-” You could just hear Wukong’s dry wheeze from under the table as Nezha’s franticness caused him to bump into one of the chairs, practically crumbling onto one of the tables as Tang choked on his noodles with a chortle.

“Are you-Oh my god, Lotus boy’s ticklish!” Mk nodded to Mei’s statement, and honestly, he was pretty surprised by just how much those feathers affected the man. He was laughing up a storm from wherever those feathers were tickling him, Mk couldn’t really see where they were, but he knew they were doing something.

Or he’d probably just never been tickled in his life and the sensation shocked his soul right out of his body.

That’s also a possibility.

“What the hell? Oi, Monkey King, is this your doing?!” Apparently Pigsy had been the first one to catch onto the real culprit, and Mk banged a fist against the table with a snort as Wukong let out an offended gasp from his hiding spot, popping out into the open.

“I will have you know, mister man of the pigs! I didn’t do nothing!” Wukong sassed, shaking his head from side to side, wagging his finger disapprovingly. That, however, masked the fact that he was probably making those feathers move even faster, because Nezha’s laughter went up an octave right after.

“WUKOHOHOHONG!!! I-I’M GOHONNA KIHIHIHILL YOU-” Monkey King gave an especially skeptical look, turning to Mk, who too was laughing hysterically, just not from the result of being tickled himself. “Yakow, I’m not so sure he’s actually going to do it. I mean, look at the guy! Look at him, take a good look!” Monkey King jested, grabbing Mk by the cheeks and directing his attention back to Nezha.

He could see Nezha, half his body on the table, the other half on the floor as he gripped the edges of the wood, laughing up a storm as he practically vibrated like mad. His face was alight in an adorable blush of pink, eyes squeezed shut with a wobbly, wide grin to boot. He really didn’t look anywhere close to being capable of killing Monkey King in the state he was in.

But then he saw Mei hopped off her seat, a damn near devilish look on her face.

He knew Nezha was in for some shit.

“Here! Lemme help you out, buddy!” Mei spoke too cheerfully to be anything but a trap, but with the way the Lotus Prince was too preoccupied trying to get a grip of himself, he realized that fact a little too late, practically squealing as Mei snatched him by the sides, skittering her nails all over.

Wukong laughed as Nezha flew back unintentionally, right into the person who was making it worse. He kicked his legs as Mei struggled to hold him up with a huffing laugh, scrambling to grab her biceps and shake them.

And not for the first time, Mk doesn’t see the stoic Lotus Prince persona that Nezha tries so hard to keep up. He just sees Nezha; a man who seriously needs a break, and a little too ticklish for his own good.

So you can’t entirely blame Mk for wanting to be a prick.

He jumps over the table, letting out a weird as hell war cry before snatching Nezha by the legs. “YOU’RE COMIN’ WITH ME, MY DUDE-”

Nezha shrieked as Mk began to drag him around the floor, Tang really choking on his noodles as Mei howled with laughter, whipping out her phone to record the absolute madness. Nezha was gripping his ribs-which is probably where Wukong’s feathers are- shaking his head manically as he tried to wrench himself from Mk’s grasp.

“MK, NAHAHAHA-” “HEY!! I just cleaned those floors, kid!!!” Wukong slapped his hand on the table repeatedly as Pigsy called out, and Mk defiantly continued to drag this man everywhere he could, still carefully avoiding chairs and table legs as he went.

“WELL I’M USIN’ IT, DADSY, I’M BUSY!!” Mk shouted back as Mei followed behind him, catching it all on video.

“The poor man! Mk no!” Tang laughed, clearly not as against it as Pigsy is, who stared in dumbfounded disbelief as the two kids messed with the Lotus Prince himself. Nezha, meanwhile, was trying to cling onto anything with a solid structure but was doing nothing other than dragging chairs and tables out of place in his hysteria.

“Look at this BOI-” Mei cheered, causing Mk to wheeze as he shook Nezha’s legs from side to side, the man letting out a squeak as Wukong hopped over.

“WAIT, I GOT THIS!!” That was the only warning that any of them had gotten before a whole barrage of feathers descended on the prince, who screamed in shock before that shock quickly dissolved into the most batshit manic laughter Mk had ever bore witness to.

Mei wheezed, the grip on her phone trembling as the man on the ground thrashed damn near violently, and Mk had to hold tighter onto his legs so he wouldn’t get himself a boot to the face.

“I. AM. FEATHER-BUDDHA!!!” Wukong cried, throwing his hands dramatically into the air as Mei got the bright idea to place her phone down, grab Nezha’s arms, and hoist him the rest of the way up.

“FEATHER JESUS-” She cried just as dramatically as the two swung the prince back and forth, laughing themselves silly as Nezha laughed himself into a tizzy.

For a split second, Mk swore he saw macaque walk in, stare, and then slide right back out in one smooth motion and just-wow, what a great cameo.

“MACAHAHAHAQUE, YOU TRAHAITOR-” Oh he saw him, oh shit-

“I do not exist. Good luck.” Wukong wheezed and almost fell off the damn table as Macaque took his seat at the counter, turning away as if he weren’t just called out to.

“GUHUHUYS, QUIT IHIHIHIT!! PLEHEHEHEAAHAHASE-” Nezha pleaded, trying so desperately to wiggle his way out of the situation. Mk took the liberty of being the local gremlin.

“Ohohoho! But my little nezzy-wezzy-” So many wheezes wrung out at once as Nezha shrieked in embarrassment. Mk hoisted him up so that he had a grip of his knees, Mei slowing down the swinging to a stop as Mk jostled him further.

Wukong, sensing that some more shit was going to go down, slowed the feathers to somewhat of a more breathable speed, and Nezha choked on the breath he sucked in. The smile that forced itself onto his face was both down-right adorable, and freakishly foreign to him. That is something that’s going to have to change, then.

“You know, to be the best gremlin out there, all bets are off the table.” Mk dramatically announced. “AND SO!!” Nezha jumped at the loud tone, anticipatory giggles already spilling from his lips.

“What the heck he’s already laughing, awe-AND SO,” Mk repeated with a dramatic pause. “Mei, get his shirt.”

His bestie didn’t need to be told twice, Nezha letting out a shriek as she pulled his shirt up and away from his belly. “LOCAL GREMLINS!! ASSEMBLE!!!” She cried-

Right as Mk blew a raspberry into the center of Nezha’s belly.

There was a loud pop as Nezha exploded into laughter, and a few gasps and awes went around as a pink glow tinged Mk’s peripheral.

He continued to blow raspberry after raspberry with hardly any pause, and he probably would have winced given just how loud and downright evil Nezha’s laughter was, giggles and cackles as he thrashed and squirmed. It was absolutely hilarious.

“HE’S EXPLODING PETALS, MK!!” Mk paused in his raspberry blowing to pinch at the back of his knees, causing a knee-jerk reaction as he grinned at the petals that had shot out into existence, floating to the ground as Nezha snorted.

“God damn, the guy’s got a set of lungs.” Macaque chuckled, placing his hands over his ears with a grin. Mk laughed with a shake of his head, before diving straight back in, this time nibbling with an added sound effect of ‘nom nom nom’.

The petals exploded from him again.

“MK STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP OHMYGOD PLEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHASE!!!!” Nezha cried as if his life depended on it, repeated pops that were just too cute to be real filled the room as the distinct smell of lotuses overwhelmed Mk’s nose as he just kept going and going, blow after blow after blow after-

“JESUS CHRIST KID, GIVE THE MAN A BREAK!!” His record broke with a laugh with the way Pigsy had to shout so loud just to be heard over Nezha’s screaming.

It was when Nezha was so weak that all he could do was tremble and laugh, that Wukong removed the feathers and poofed them into hair, when Mei and he finally-gently-placed him on the floor, and Mk had ceased his merciless tickling, that the man gulped down proper breath since the whole ordeal began.

“Ohohoho, that was golden!” Wukong laughed as he answered to Mk’s high five, Macaque snorting at the way Nezha curled up into a tight little ball, lotus petals surrounding and covering him as he lightly tried to fan his face in hopes of ridding the embarrassed and exhausted blush on his cheeks.

“You damn near killed him, you idiots.” Pigsy sighed in exasperation, looking over the mess that had become his shop within a matter of minutes in very heavy disappointment.

“What-” Nezha panted as he sat up, burning with the rest of his gradually dying embarrassment. “What was that!? Wha-what did you do??” Mk tilted his head in amused confusion, as did Mei and Wukong. “C’mon dude, it’s just tickling! It’s not like it can hurt ya!” Mei dismissed.

A silence was Nezha’s response.

Silence soon enveloped the shop.

“You…you do know what that is, right? Nezha?” Wukong asked with a tilt of his head, this one verging on the dangerous territory of ‘this better be a fucking joke or I swear to the Celestials-’

Nezha just stared at them like they’d grown three heads.

“Oh my God he doesn’t know what tickling is-”

“THE POOR BOIO-”

Nezha yelped as Mei latched onto him in a tight embrace, which caused Mk to automatically snort. Oh this was just sad, both the hilarious kind and also the not-hilarious kind.

Staying in one room to protect a map for thousands of years really must do something to ya, huh?

“I’m actually fucking remorseful. I send my regards.” Macaque hummed, before giving a half-assed salute. “See you on the other side, Lotus Prince.” And then he disappeared into the counter’s shadow. Just like the shifty monkey, doing something like that.

“This is gonna go terribly.” Tang interjected, polishing off his third bowl.

“I’m actually thinking of closing the shop for today, I can’t believe this.” Pigsy grumbled, retreating back into the safety of his kitchen.

Nezha, during all of this, seemed to grow even more confused as the multiple comments were shot fired, and he looked at Mk who only gave him a solemn grin, because even he wasn’t about to mess up what would be-

“This will be the greatest day of your life, Lotus Boy!”

The most disastrous day of his life, courtesy of the local menace, Mei.

“Now! First on my list would be some hands on experience-”

Nezha let out a shrill shriek as Mei’s hands immediately dive for his sides.

A shriek that will be just one of way, way, way too many to come.

So about TCND. NO I'M KIDDING. Don't throw me away. What else are you watching or reading or interested in lately? There isn't actually anything to talk about regarding OL (the show or actors therein) and TCND is off the table until someone has actually seen it. Anything interesting going on?

Dear What Else Anon,

Oh, I am definitely not going to throw out such a wonderful question! I do think there are more things of interest regarding OL and actors therein (more on this, tomorrow and mood/current drama allowing). But your ask reminded me (and should remind anyone) there are other things happening under the sun than this.

I am still fighting with The Fiery Cross. Sometimes, I get tired of its unjustified slow burn and briefly seek solace somewhere else. While I quit the horrible habit of reading two books simultaneously years ago, I find soothing to sometimes take a break with a good poem.

This one, for example: Brecht's Questions From a Worker Who Reads (translated into English by M. Hamburger - probably the most satisfying version I could find on the Internet, right now - the original is um, more complex)

Who built Thebes of the seven gates? In the books you will find the name of kings. Did the kings haul up the lumps of rock? And Babylon, many times demolished. Who raised it up so many times? In what houses Of gold-glittering Lima did the builders live? Where, the evening that the Wall of China was finished Did the masons go? Great Rome Is full of triumphal arches. Who erected them? Over whom Did the Caesars triumph? Had Byzantium, much praised in song, Only palaces for its inhabitants? Even in fabled Atlantis The night the ocean engulfed it The drowning still bawled for their slaves.

The young Alexander conquered India. Was he alone? Caesar beat the Gauls. Did he not have even a cook with him? Philip of Spain wept when his armada Went down. Was he the only one to weep? Frederick the Second won the Seven Years' War. Who Else won it?

Every page a victory. Who cooked the feast for the victors? Every ten years a great man. Who paid the bill?

So many reports. So many questions.

Speaking of Byzantium, this reminded me of Bissera Pentcheva and Jonathan Abel's absolutely remarkable experiment into reconstructing (by computer) the acoustics of Constantinople's Agia Sophia and use it as an audio filter for sacred music recordings. In order to do that, she simply had to pop a balloon inside the cathedral (with special permit and adequate measuring and recording equipment) - it took her five days to get the perfect pitch. As a result, we now can hear those hymns the same way someone would around 1400, AD. This is probably the closest we could get to time travel:

Oh, and I am also watching The Crown's sixth and last season, as many in this fandom, I suppose. More on this, when we are completely done with it. OL was the only exception to my read/listen/watch it all before discussing it rule.

You are obviously Anon but I have to thank you for this! Brought up wonderful memories of week-ends in Constantinople, staying at the Hagia Sofia Mansions and nearly touching its roof from the window of my room in the Yeșil Ev villa. Today, it's over: the Hilton guys took the whole complex and revamped it, Mafia style.

But this memory will never go away:

... a room

....with a view:

Would it be a good idea to make a new, weekly series out of your ask, perhaps something along the lines of Life Beyond OL? I am seriously toying with it, if that's what it takes to try and keep a modicum of sanity during promo: you decide on this one, here is a poll.

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 절대 그이/My Absolute Boyfriend

My Absolute Boyfriend is the 2019 Korean live-action adaptation of the Watase Yuu manga "Absolute Boyfriend." (There are two other adaptations, one Taiwanese and one Japanese.) It tells the story of a woman who has just broken up with her celebrity boyfriend, and the robot who becomes a real boy by falling in love with her.

(And yes, the reason we started watching it was because of Yeo Jingoo, since the tantalizing prospect of "that guy who played Han Juwon, playing a robot boyfriend" was too amazing to pass up.)

I need to note right off the bat: I am not usually a consumer of bippy k-dramas, romcoms, or het romance in media in general. No shade to anyone who likes these thing; they're just not my regular cup of tea. So if your tastes are akin to mine, you may have looked at the poster and been like, hm, no thank you.

Thus I am here to try and sell you on it even if you are not a fan of these genres.

This show is so unwatched that (as far as I can tell) there is nothing for it on AO3. There are a mere eight hits for the manga, Zettai Kareshi | Absolute Boyfriend, but there's nothing at all for this adaptation. This is an absolute crime, for reasons I will detail in the forthcoming five reasons to watch (above and beyond the simple pleasure of watching Yeo Jingoo be a handsome goober, though that remains a serious point in its favor):

1. Balls entirely to the wall

You know those Tumblr posts where someone comments and is like, at no point could I have predicted what the next word in that sentence would be? Yeah, that, only the sentence is the show.

This show is absolutely bonkers. It is absolute storytelling mayhem. It is gleefully head-clutching weird. Someone told it that girls like exactly three things -- cute boys in adorable outfits, cute boys with their shirts off, and cute boys in Situations -- and it is ready to deliver.

I could tell you what the plot of the show is, or at least I could try, but that wouldn't convey the sheer volume of shenanigans it gets up to. I feel like every time it had a flashback montage (set to one of its six licensed pop songs), I was like, oh yeah, that happened.

The thing, too, is that it's so self-aware. This show knows precisely what it is, and it's having fun with it. The acting is often melodramatic, but obviously very consciously so. I'm not going to say the show never takes itself seriously (because it does -- see my point #5), but it never doesn't know exactly what it is.

Browsing the MyDramaList page, I can see that a lot of viewers had lukewarm feelings on the show as a whole. (Normally I don't make the mistake of reading the comments, but since this is such a non-property in English-speaking fandom, I had to go find out what the hell.) And yeah, I can imagine that if you came into this expecting a more straight-faced entry in the genre, what you get could be confusing and alienating.

If you watch this, take off your nitpicker's hat. There are many, many points that do not make sense. Just go with it. Let the cute boys take off their shirts. Kiss a robot. Embrace chaos.

2. A++ Girlfriend

Eom Dada is great. She's just so weird. I love her and I absolutely understand why those two boys want to get with her.

She is a special effects makeup artist who runs her own three-person team that specializes in sci-fi/horror properties. One of the first things we see her doing is mixing up a bunch of different types of fake blood, because, hey, a lot of different stunt people are going to die today, and you can't just use one type of blood for everybody!

She is a dadgumn professional, is what she is.

What she isn't, however, is a pick-me, not-like-the-other-girls girl. Several times, she gets dressed up real cute and femme, and she never expresses negativity toward her more girly-girl friends. It's not that she's rejecting femininity so much as that her vision of femininity is big enough to include creating beautiful fake severed body parts. When someone describes a female character as "quirky," I cringe reflexively. But that's what she is! She's got quirks! She's a nice, normal girl who is also a big weirdo.

Since I did go read the comments, I found out pretty quickly that a lot of viewers hate her. Part of this, I'm sure, is just your generic vitriol you see aimed at any woman in a show, because holy fuck, we sure do hate women.

But I think part of it may come from how she's not asking "how high?" every time those boys tell her they'd like her to jump. There's some real viciousness out there toward women that turn down men, epecially from other women. Without getting too much into psychoanalysis about it, an awful lot of hate gets directed from other women toward the female ex-/partners of desirable men, much of which comes from the terrible assumption that if you were in her position, you'd be appropriately grateful! You'd treat that boy right! That lucky bitch doesn't know how good she's got it!

...You see how that's bad, though, right? Like, really bad and toxic?

Eom Dada tells those boys "no" when she doesn't want what they're offering. She's realizes early on that setting yourself on fire to keep your partner warm is terrible, so she stops. She's going to make them wait until she wants it -- and if she never wants it, well, those boys just get to keep right on waiting!

Read me loud and clear: I'm not saying the only reason to dislike Eom Dada is misogyny. Sometimes you just don't like a character! It happens! It's legal! What I am saying, though, is that when you look at a lot of the hate toward her all at once, certain trends emerge, and they're more than a little bit ugly.

And I think that's unfair because she's an absolute pumpkin who deserves all the smooches and spicy noodles she wants.

3. ...Are they gonna kiss?

And by "they" here, I don't mean Girlfriend and Robot Boyfriend, who obviously smooch. I mean Robot Boyfriend and Ex-Boyfriend.

They hate one another! They make heartbreaking sacrifices for one another! They're vicious rivals! They team up to solve mysteries! They're incredibly suspicious of one another! They trust one another completely! What the actual hell is going on with these two? Because oh boy, the show itself sure doesn't know.

Their relationship yo-yos constantly throughout the length of the series. They're never friends, but they get weirdly close on several occasions, including rescuing one another from terrible predicaments. They also both seem fascinated with each other, above and beyond how they're competing for the affections of the same girl. The actors have some solid chemistry (much of it comedic) in their shared scenes. They're certainly not afraid to get right up in each other's personal space.

This isn't queerbaiting, it's not using gay as a punchline, it's ... something, that's for sure. And by that I mean, I don't know if I've ever seen a more powerful vindication of the principle that the optimal solution to every love triangle is a threesome.

This to me is one of the flaws of the show, that it has decided it must never acknowledge the strength of their independent bond outside of its place in the central love conflict, and to keep from doing so, it keeps nuking Ex-Boyfriend's character back to square one. He learns about love and trust and growth! ...and then we need the plot to have a which boy will she choose??? conflict, so he's got to unlearn all of that real quick so he can be a real dillhole again. If it didn't feel obligated to do that, things would get sexy fast, I'm just saying.

Here is the main reason I'm baffled that I'm getting no AO3 hits for this: These three would be one hell of a throuple. Where are my bisexual horndog fix-it fics where all three of them wind up sharing Ma Wangjoon's comically large bed?

4. Weirdly healthyish messages about romance?

I mentioned earlier that het romance in media is not my thing, and one of the main reasons it's not is how many just gross messages it delivers about normative gender roles and behaviors.

This show absolutely starts that way. Robot Boyfriend is raised on all your classic romcoms and taught that love is all about giving everything with no concern for your own well-being, while at the same time overriding all your partner's objections because you know what she really wants. When he first latches on to Eom Dada, he's kind of your classic overbearing comedy stalker who doesn't take no for an answer, because True Love.

And then ... he changes. He realizes that his romcom education is not going to help here, so he decides to figure out what kind of boyfriend she actually wants. Once he does that, he starts to figure out that he wants to be loved too. And that's when things get interesting.

He never stops being pretty forward about things, but it becomes far more playful when he's not pressuring her, just reminding her that the offer is still on the table. Eom Dada then responds by becoming clear about how she definitely wants to take this boy out for a spin -- just at her own pace, when she herself is ready for it.

It makes an interesting contrast to how, when she was with Ex-Boyfriend, all she wanted was for him to acknowledge her (which he wanted to do too, but couldn't, for absolutely bonkers reasons, because this show is just Like That). The two of them are still in love, but the show makes it clear that being in love doesn't mean you're going to be good together -- and it doesn't mean you have to forgive the bullshit your ex-partner pulled back when you were together.

But the love triangle isn't even the sole source of romance! There's a whole 'nother love ... triangle? quadrilateral? Whatever, you've also got Robot Boyfriend's charmingly goofy MIT-educated co-creator/trainer/big brother, who becomes the object of affection for at least two of the supporting characters.

My take on this is that Handsome Robot Hyung deserves the whole harem: the boss lady who can pick him up, the cute thirsty girl who does yoga, and the sweet gay-coded boy who is so impressed that he knows robots. (This is another tragic casualty of the NO HOMO attitude of the show, where that boy should be treated as a legitimate love interest, but can never be. But we know better!)

I'm used to seeing love triangles solved in one of three ways: 1) one point on the triangle gets demonized so significantly as to make the other one the obvious choice; 2) the eventually unchosen point gets given a Consolation Prize Significant Other so we don't fell too bad about how they didn't get chosen; or 3) one point dies or is otherwise removed from the narrative, letting the other two hook up without guilt. None of those things happen to either of these love polygons. Despite some genre-appropriate catty, melodramatic speed bumps, everything gets resolved in the manner of adults with reasonable amounts of emotional maturity. It's weirdly kind of nice.

(This isn't to say there's no toxic bullshit that slips in -- for instance, I still don't know what to make of that one arguing couple, or what Robot Boyfriend says to them. It's just much less than I expected.)

Your mileage may vary about the choices the show makes at the very end. It's not how I would have ended it, sure, but I also don't think it could have ended any other way -- remember, this is a show that never forgets what it is. It is contractually obligated by its genre conventions to keep certain narrative promises. If anything, I think it's interesting how much it feels it can get away with leaving hopeful yet unresolved, up to and including how many people are still comfortably single at the end of the show. Partnered romance isn't always the solution to everything! Sometimes you've got your career and you've got your friends, and now you've got some time to work on yourself! Maybe it won't always be that way, but it sure is right now. And that's great.

5. A surprisingly sophisticated meditation on memory and mortality (say that five times fast)

Real talk: In the past four months, I have lost a lot of people, places, and animals who were very dear to me, and had some close calls with a couple more. It has sucked exactly as much as you think it has.

So yeah, in the last few episodes, I blew through some tissues.

To a certain degree, it's exactly the kind of melodramatic tearjerker narrative you'd expect from a property like this. And let me tell you what, there is nothing wrong with getting a good, sappy cry going because of the overwrought dramas of fictional people. There are plenty of objectively mediocre shows and movies I put on because I know I'm going to be a blubbering wreck by the end.

This show, however, has the extra layer of interest that Robot Boyfriend is both Boyfriend and Robot. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say that having a guy designed to be reformatted every time a new person smooches him adds a whole lot of interesting layers to what counts as death and mourning.

Add that to how Eom Dada is still grieving the loss of her beloved father, who taught her everything she knew about her career, and you get some surprisingly moving little moments that creep in through the wacky hijinks that make up the rest of the show.

Look, it's nothing I'd ever teach in a Philosophy seminar, or anything so profound as that. But it's quiet and nice, and it has more depth than I expected, and it all hit me right in my tender little feels box. If that's the kind of thing you're open to, you could do a lot worse.

Thinking about giving this one a shot?

Viki's got the series in its full 40-episode run. (It's actually 20 hour-long episodes split in half because of commercial break rules, if you're wondering why it's sometimes Like That.) So does Tubi. I guess your choice then becomes which one's ads you'd rather sit through.

I think if you go into this with the attitude that you're just going to go with it all and laugh at how zany it is, you're in for a fine time. Whether or not you think it's good is up to your standards of quality. But it's hard to deny that it's a whole lot of fun.

And then get your ass to AO3 and give me some OT3! Mama needs these three cutie patooties to smooch~

Fuck-it Friday

Thank you sooo much to @wildlife4life for tagging me!! 🥰 (they are also writing an NFL au which you check out) I was going to share a bit from the scene after this one, but then this just popped into my head and I just had to write it. Enjoy!!

The video posted on the Ram's official social media accounts opens to a boy wearing a Ram’s jersey standing with a mic on the sidelines of the team’s practice field. Standing next to him is Evan Buckley, helmet off, but still decked out in all of his gear and uniform. Buckley smiles at the kid, while the boys speaks to the camera.

“I’m Denny Wilson speaking to you from the LA Ram’s practice. I’m here today with Evan Buckley, the Ram’s star quarterback.” Denny turns to Buckley, and the quarterback’s face breaks into a grin.

“Hello Mr. Buckley, I'm Denny.”

“Hi Denny, It’s nice to meet you.” Buckley says as he shakes Denny’s hand with a kind smile. “I hear you have some questions for me today?”

Denny nods at him. He’s about eight or nine years old and a good foot and a half shorter than Buckley. Both of them are fitted with microphone packs, so the microphone is redundant, but Denny still stretches his arm so Buckley can speak his answer into it.

“Ask away.”

Speaking into the mic, Denny asks, “Who is your best friend on the team?”

Buckley lets out a long exhale. “That’s a hard hitting question. I don’t know if I can answer that because I don’t want to make anyone upset because I didn’t choose them.”

“You can have more than one best friend. I have two.”

“Well then, I think I'm best friends with everyone on the team,” Buckley tells Denny. “We’re all very close and I like hanging out with them a lot.”

“Ooooh,” a teammate coos from off screen, “You looove us!” 

Buckley shouts to the player, “Shudup! This is my interview!” Despite his tone, he's grinning with a blush on his cheeks as he turns back to Denny.

“Did you always want to be a footballer when you grew up?”

“Not always. Before I wanted to be a footballer I actually wanted to be a firefighter.” 

Denny’s face lights up, “My mom’s a firefighter!” 

“That’s so cool! Do you want to be one when you grow up?”

“No, not really. My other mom’s a rocket scientist.” Denny says casually, like being a rocket scientist is on the same level as being a teacher or an accountant. Buckley on the other hand looks stunned.

“Oh, sh-” Buckley saves himself off with a cough. “I mean wow.”

“If you had a superpower, what would it be?”

“I think invincibility would be really cool.”

“Is that because you get hurt a lot?” Denny says innocently.

“Woah!” Buckley dramatically clutches his heart. “No mercy, huh kid?”

Unphased by Buckley’s dramatics Denny moves on to his next question. “Do you have any personal hobbies?”

“I like to cook. My coach, Bobby Nash, has taught me a lot. He’s a really good chef.”

“My grandma is teaching me how to bake.”

“Oh yeah? What’s your favorite thing to make?”

Denny perks up, “I like making cookies! And brownies!”

“So you’re a dessert kind of guy?” Buckley says.

Denny leans into Buckley and whispers, “Don’t tell my moms.”

Buckley nods and holds out his pinky to Denny, “Promise.” Denny wraps his pinky around Buckley and nods seriously.

Denny looks off screen like he is receiving a cue from another person and then asks his final question, “Have you ever been in love?” Denny asks.

Buckley’s face turns scarlet, but he answers the question anyway. “Yeah. Yeah I have.”

“Are you in love right now?”

Buck sputters, obviously caught off guard despite the previous question. “Umm… well…” He looks around searchingly, and then narrows his eyes as he redirects his attention towards Denny again. “Which one my teammates put you up this?” 

“You gotta answer the question Buckley!” someone sounding suspiciously like Ravi Panikkar shouts.

"Yeah! Don't hold out on us!" another person, a woman's voice this time, yells.

Buck lets out a laugh and then leans down to speak directly into the camera.  “No comment.”

I've very new to the fandom so if anyone wants me to tag them for these or when I post more from this au please lmk!! 🥺👉👈

Champange Problems (Formula 1 Fic)

Hi, hello. I interrupt your regularly schedule programming to bring you this, brought to you by my Formula 1 brain rot

Basically I wrote a fic about the trophy "inchident" at today's Grand Prix and wanted to share it here. If you're not interested in formula 1 feel free to scroll on and enjoy your day. But if you are, here ya go

(I might also continue to post things from other fandoms I enjoy because I need something to fuel me during this hiatus 🙃)

Champange Problems (Read on ao3 here)

Summary: Lando breaks Max's trophy on accident during podium celebrations at the Hungarian Grand Prix. He askes Max to punish him for it

Lando was exhausted after the race. The media pen, post-race press conference, and debriefs he’d had to participate in following the grueling two hours of the race had drained the last bit of energy he had been clutching on to following the checkered flag and podium celebrations. Oscar had poured one of their secret Red Bull stash into each of their water bottles to keep them awake during the engineering meeting and Lando had never been more endlessly grateful for his teammate. 

However, the burst of caffeinated energy had long since worn off and it took all of his remaining brain cells to navigate through the motorhomes to the car that was waiting to take him back to the hotel. He’d received a text from Daniel that he and Charles had already returned and sequestered themselves away in Max’s room with room service and were awaiting the return of their podium sitters. By finishing farther down the grid, the other two's media obligations were much less grueling than his and Max’s so they’d left the track hours before himself and Max. Lando was sure that Daniel was letting Charles pace the room and rant to relieve some of his frustrations before he and Max returned, not wanting to put a damper on their win despite the shitshow of Ferrari’s performance over the season. Lando could hardly wait for summer break when the four of them would be escaping to Daniel’s farm to pretend that the rest of the world didn’t exist for three glorious weeks.

What he could wait for was seeing Max. While his boyfriend had assured him he wasn’t angry about the trophy incident, he couldn’t help but feel guilty and the angry tweets and instagram comments hadn’t helped. He hadn’t meant to break the trophy, so caught up in his excitement of achieving P2 that he’d forgotten the Hungary trophy was porcelain, not the metal of most other circuits and that his slightly aggressive champagne pop might have been too much for the fragile item. It turned out that it was, the force of the bottle hitting the step causing the trophy to bounce and tumble to the ground. It had happened seemingly in slow motion as the top cracked and the bottom snapped clean off at his feet. He’d cringed, stepping over the shards of porcelain to spray Max and Checo. He’d leaned into Max as subtly as he could following the celebration, whispering an apology quietly so the microphones wouldn’t pick it up. Max had squeezed the back of his neck in reassurance, offering a gentle smile reserved only for himself, Daniel, and Charles. He’d apologized again on the way to the media pen and Max had only smiled again, that soft smile that made Lando want to curl up against him and hide in his arms, reassuring him once again that he wasn’t upset.

“I have plenty of trophies,” he’d chuckled. “This one won’t take away from the collection.”

He’d gotten tired of being asked about it during his media sessions. It had been an honest mistake and he wasn’t sure why people couldn’t understand that. He wasn’t being malicious and trying to damage his boyfriend’s (even though no one knew about that part) property on purpose.

As he made his way to the car Oscar spotted him outside the Mclaren garage and jogged to catch up, clearly on his own way out. 

“Great race today,” Oscar said, bumping their shoulders softly. “Seriously, P2 twice in a row, that’s impressive.”

“P5 is nothing to scoff at mate. Moving up in the points, I’m proud.”

“Thanks,” Oscar ducked his head shyly, still not used to Lando’s praise and compliments being directed at him. “Are you flying back tonight?”

“Nah, tomorrow morning.”

“Oh. Max huh?”

Lando chuckled, “Of course. Who else?”

“Perks of your boyfriend having his own jet.”

“You can join the club when you get your first podium,” Lando teased. 

“I’m holding you to that,” Oscar’s car pulled around the corner and he headed that direction, waving at Lando as he went. “See you Tuesday!”

“See you later mate!”

Lando bundled himself into the car, his driver offering him a short greeting before raising the partition and leaving him to his own devices. He immediately retrieved his phone from his backpack and Facetimed Daniel.

“Hello,” Daniel greeted, a wide smile on his face. He was lounging against the pillows on the bed, and a tuft of brown hair poking up at the bottom of the frame suggested he had Charles laying against his chest, listening in on the conversation. “Are you finally headed back?”

“Finally,” Lando agreed, leaning back in the car seats, getting as comfortable as he could. 

“Perfect timing, Maxy just texted and he’s on the way back as well.”

“Great,” Lando said, anxiety spiking in his throat.

“What’s wrong?” Charles asked, poking his head up just enough that Lando could see his bright green eyes.

“Is Max mad at me?”

“Why would he be mad at you?”

“The trophy,” he mumbled.

“Oh baby,” Daniel said. “He’s not upset with you. He thought it was funny.”

“But-”

“But nothing,” Charles piped up again, sitting up properly this time so he could squeeze into the frame with Daniel. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were celebrating and it was an accident. It’s not like you kicked it over and stomped on it.”

“Charles is right. It was just an inchident.”

Lando chuckled as Charles smacked Daniel’s arm in retaliation for the joke muttering asshole under his breath. 

“I just feel bad about it and I can’t make myself stop. And the comments aren’t helping.”

“Lando, answer me truthfully okay?” Daniel said gently. “Would a punishment help?”

“Maybe.”

This part of their dynamic was relatively new but they were making it work. He’d known that Max and Daniel used to do something similar when they were teammates at Red Bull, helping to pull each other out of bad headspaces after bad races or bad interactions with Max’s dad. He also knew that Charles had gotten involved too, using it as an outlet for his Ferrari related frustrations. Lando, however, had only experienced it a few times since making their throuple a quartet a few months ago, usually lingering to the side and watching with whoever wasn’t currently over someone else’s lap.

“Lando cheri, be honest with us,” Charles encouraged. “Do you want Max to spank you? Will that make you feel better about what happened today?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Good boy for answering honestly,” Daniel praised. “We’ll talk to Max when he gets here and then when you arrive we’ll all have a discussion about it together. Alright?”

“Alright.”

“Good boy. We’ll see you soon okay?”

“See you soon. I love you.”

“We love you too baby.”

*****

When Lando arrived at the hotel, he hauled himself out of the car and thanked the driver before heading inside. Max had slipped him the extra key to his hotel room that morning and he’d kept it safely hidden in his bag since. How Max managed to get four keys so that they could each have one was beyond him, but he supposed that there wasn’t much a two-time world champion couldn’t talk his way into. He rode the elevator up to Max’s room on the fourteenth floor, thankful that this hotel was mostly reserved for Formula 1 teams, meaning he made his ascent alone. 

Max’s room was at the end of the hall, tucked into a corner and Lando was endlessly grateful for the teams that arranged these things for them. A corner room gave them slightly more privacy, which was hard to come by on grand prix weekends. Lando used his key and pushed the door open, leaving his backpack next to Charles’s hideously red one and slotting his sneakers neatly next to Daniel’s Nikes. The other three men were huddled around the table, munching on the absurd amount of food that littered the table. They always allowed themselves a cheat meal after a race before getting back to their strict diets on Monday and Daniel always went all out. 

Ignoring the food, Lando beelined for Max, dropping himself unceremoniously in his lap and hiding his face away in his neck. 

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, huddling in as close as he possibly could, relishing in Max’s warmth.

“Shh,” Max hushed him gently, rubbing a hand up and down his back. “Nothing to apologize for schatje. Eat first, we’ll take care of the rest once you’re fed. I know you’re starving.”

Max was right, he was starving, so he maneuvered himself to the empty chair between Max and Daniel, who pushed some fries his way. He picked at them for a few moments before he was grabbed around his waist and hauled into Daniel’s lap, who pulled more food in front of him to feed Lando by hand.

“You need to eat, baby. I know you’re anxious but having a stomach ache because you’ve gone too long without food won’t help.”

Lando nodded and let Daniel feed him a few fries before offering him small bits of chicken. Charles had pushed his plate away and Max was holding his hand, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles as they quietly chatted about Charles’s race.

“The car is a shitbox,” Max said bluntly, as Charles complained about the gap between himself and George, which hadn’t been helped by the penalty. “And your strategy could be better written by a toddler.”

“Maybe we should hire Penelope,” Charles snorted.

“I’ll ask Kelly if she’s available.”

Between bites of food, Lando reached out to take Charles’s other hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“That you’re driving an expensive, garishly red tractor.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Charles laughed, bringing his hand up to kiss his knuckles. “I’m so proud of you for the race you had today, Lando. I will never be upset with you for winning, no matter how frustrated I am with myself and with my team.”

“Do you need me to spank you too?” Max asked, halfway between serious and joking.

“No, Daniel took care of it earlier.”

Both Lando and Max turned to look at the Aussie, who just grinned, “Forty-five minutes on your knees can do wonders.”

The other two laughed, but Max’s joke had brought Lando’s impending punishment back to the forefront of his mind.

“Can we talk about it now? The spanking?”

“Of course. Do you want to come sit on the bed?”

Lando nodded and Max helped him stand from his place on Daniel’s lap, leading him to the king sized bed in the center of the room. Daniel and Charles also abandoned the table, choosing instead to curl up together in the armchair positioned diagonally to the bed, Charles halfway in Daniel’s lap as they cuddled up to watch the show.

“Do you remember the words we use?” Max asked, placing a gentle hand on Lando’s thigh. Lando nodded. “Tell me what they are.”

“Red is for stop. Yellow means I want to slow down and talk about it but not stop completely. Green is all good.”

“Very good,” Max praised. “I know you’re nervous, but I’m going to take care of you, I won’t hurt you, Lando.”

“I know. I trust you.”

“Good. What’s your color now?”

“Green.”

“Good. I want you to pull down your pants, but leave your boxers on, then lay over my lap.”

Lando obeyed, pushing his jeans down but keeping his underwear in place before leaning over Max’s thighs. Max shifted him gently so that he was in a more comfortable position, then rucked up his hoodie just enough that he could place a comforting hand on the small of his back.

“I’m going light since this is your first time. You’ll get fifteen with just my hand. You can count them if you want, but I won’t make you. Remember that I’m not doing this because I’m angry at you or want to hurt you. You did nothing wrong. I’m doing this because you told me this is what you need to feel better and that is what I want. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good boy. What is your color?”

“Green.”

“What do you say if you need to stop at any time?”

“Red,” Lando answered dutifully, squirming on Max’s lap, feeling exposed and ready to get on with it.

“Good boy. Stay still, let me take care of you.”

The first hit shocked him and he let out an involuntary squeak. The next two he was more prepared for but they still stung. 

“Breathe Lando,” he heard Charles say encouragingly. “The more you tense up, the worse it is. Just relax and let Max take care of you.”

Max found a rhythm which Lando was grateful for. He’d witnessed some of the spanking Max had delivered to Charles that were brutal and he’s had a hard time keeping up with the pattern even from his position on the sidelines. He was glad Max had decided to take it easy on him for his first time. Somewhere around the eighth hit, he felt his brain start to go fuzzy around the edges, a feeling he’d only ever had described to him. He felt peaceful and he found the swats not hurting quite so much as he settled into the feeling. No wonder Charles liked this so much.

Eventually the pain stopped all together, just a dull burning sensation remained. He prepared himself for another swat but nothing came. It took him a few moments to register that there were voices and that they were talking to him. With some difficulty, he pried his eyes open and found Daniel kneeling in front of him.

“There he is,” Daniel brought a hand up to his cheek, wiping away his tears. When had he started crying? “How do you feel?”

“Good.”

“Floaty?” Charles asked, kneeling next to Daniel and running a hand through his no doubt wild curls. Lando nodded, pushing his head up into Charles’s hand, asking for head scratches. The other man chuckled but complied. Eventually, he was lifted up and moved so that he was sitting sideways across Max’s lap, head leaned on the older man’s shoulder.

“Do you feel better?”

“Yes,” Lando said, snuggling closer. “Much.”

“Good. I was never angry at you, you know that right. It was an accident. Even Christian said so.”

“I know. It’s just that, everyone kept asking me about it and I couldn’t let it go. I needed to get out of my head I guess.”

“I understand. Thank you for trusting me to help you do that.”

“I love you Maxy,” he said, and turned his head to kiss his jaw.

“I love you too. Let’s get you cleaned up and ready for bed, yes?”

Charles joined him in the shower, praising him softly for how well he’d raced and how well he’d done with his punishment, telling him he was good for asking for what he needed and allowing them to give it to him. He toweled them both off and dressed Lando in a clean pair of underwear and a large hoodie that belonged to Daniel, but smelled like all three of them, as if they’d passed it around before bestowing it on Lando. 

Max and Daniel were in bed waiting for them, the table cleared of food and some American sitcom playing on the TV at low volume. Lando wedged himself between them, making himself comfortable with his back to Daniel's chest and his legs tangled with Max’s. Charles slid in behind Max, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck as he did. 

Daniel ran a comforting hand up and down Lando’s chest and Lando snuggled back further into him, chasing his warmth. 

“I told you it would all be okay,” he said softly into Lando’s ear. “It was all an accident and it’s been taken care of. Everything is okay.”

“Yeah,” Lando mumbled sleepily. “Just an inchident.”

“I hate you all.”

I'm really glad for your thoughts and optimism but there are people saying 'oh akshually Yuuji is not stronk, Sukuna wash weak becaush of meegumi fighting and reshishting from inshide.' Yes I deliberately wrote like this because after today's ch I was so happy as a Yuuji fan and seeing this reaction pissed me off. I'm tired of fandom underplaying Yuuji and his feats and megumi being oh so special yet fucking again.

Yeah, I've seen that too. There's the ones who probably expected a new technique to pop up and who are disappointed that Yuuji "only" punches yet again, and then there are the ones who seem to have taken the previous punch more seriously than it was and see him having some sort of spiritual awakening. It was a bit hard to tell last chapter, but Sukuna didn't punch straight through his chest or stomach, the force of the punch just ripped his back. Yuuji didn't use reverse cursed technique, his body is just naturally more resistant. If he used RCT that would mean that it somehow "healed" his jacket but not his missing finger. I think Yuuji did step up his game a bit, but it's not some crazy big power-up.

Honestly, what annoys me more than the Megumi talk is the constant comparison to Sukuna. People see Yuuji do an incredible feat and go "oh it's because of Sukuna, he's rubbing of on him" "he's gonna whip out his own Cleave any second now". Literally call him a second Sukuna or a Sukuna clone (that doesn't even work since the dark hair clearly shows that he has inherited parts of Kaori & Kenjaku's DNA too...like it's always the case with parents and children). Just let him be his own character jfc. And if he's supposed to be a stronger Sukuna then only in a very vague sense, not literally all of Sukuna's characteristics and abilities but amped up. They don't even look that similar beyond the pink hair (Takako has pink hair too, is she also related to Sukuna??) and their personalities and fighting styles are also very different.

In regards to Megumi, I actually really liked that Yuuji managed to land his first real hit on Sukuna by working together with Megumi. They both want autonomy over their bodies. Besides, one of Yuuji's specialities is to always get up after being beaten down - even if he sometimes doesn't want to - and with that tenacity he eventually managed to hurt Sukuna a little bit. And Sukuna acknowledged his skills before Megumi really started to make a difference. His strength, speed and flexibility don't have anything to do with anyone else. Hell, they don't even necessarily have something to do with Kenjaku. Kenjaku's experiment just laid the basics, Yuuji is the one who continuously improved upon them. He was mainly forced to by outside circumstances, but it's still his accomplishment. Without that he would be an incredible athlete, but not a good jujutsu sorcerer.

Hello! I hope you're having a lovely day/night! 😊 Just had to pop in to show some love for your writing. I stumbled upon your fic, Love Me Where I'm Most Ruined, a lil while back and I'm obsessed??? I flew through it so quickly, I just couldn't stop reading! I apologize for not leaving comments as I went, it's like I was in a trance, just had to keep reading 😭😂😂 I'm also somewhat new-ish to the fandom and interacting kinda gives me anxiety, but I'm working on it lol. I'm gonna do a re read sometime soon and I'll let you know my thoughts, gonna spam you with love probably, your story certainly deserves all the love. 🥰❤️❤️ I also see that you've recently rewritten/edited some parts? As if I needed another excuse to re read this whole fic 🤭 Truly, one of my absolute favorite fics I've read. I love the story you've built and I adore your characters so much. I'm in love with Lucy, for real. Obsessed with her. I also haven't read many fics (if any) that are pro Grace. I think that can be a bit controversial in the peaky fandom?(sadly) But holy shit!! I LOVE how you wrote her whole storyline. You broke my heart tho, but I still loved it! 😂 I didn't intend this ask to be so long, please forgive my rambling! You posted your latest chapter on my birthday and girl. Birthdays aren't always the easiest for me and this one was kinda rough. Honestly, reading your fic was kinda the highlight of my day. An unexpected delight! A little gift you didn't even know you were giving me! I literally squealed in excitement lol! Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your stories. Your writing is so, so beautiful and I can't believe your fic doesn't have more notes. Honestly, it's criminal! I'm seeing it pop up on my dash again and I just had to show you some love!! 🥰❤️❤️ Also, it's still Valentine's Day where I am, so I felt all the love was a little fitting. ❤️ I hope this novel of an ask finds you well. 😘❤️

-🦋

Oh my goodness, anon, thank you so, so much! Seriously, my heart is practically bursting right now I just wanna reach through the screen and give you biggest hug! 🥰

It means SO MUCH to me that you've loved Lucy and my fic so much 😭 I have quite a few OCs, but Lucy in particular is very near and dear to my heart, so to hear that you love her so much just makes me so happy.

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts if you do a reread! I don't like to pressure people too much to comment because I understand it can be nerve-wracking, but I promise I am literally the least intimidating person in the world and will be absolutely thrilled to hear what you think!

I did recently do a bit of a rewrite/edit, specifically of Red Right Hand. Nothing too crazy, but I did add a few more scenes with Grace and a few more smut scenes.

Grace is certainly a controversial figure in the fandom. I understand why people dislike her, and I never want to make people feel like they have to like her to read or even enjoy my fics, but at the same time I have a soft spot for her, and my vision for the series always included Grace and polyamory elements, despite it still being primarily Tommy x Lucy focused. I was quite nervous including the poly aspects of the story, and I know it turned a lot of people off to my fics, so I really appreciate your support for that particular part of the story! 🖤

And Happy Birthday! I'm so glad to hear that my fic made your day a little brighter! And Happy Valentine's Day as well! This really is the best gift anyone could have given me today!

I'm so sorry that it's been taking me longer to get updates out! I recently started an internship in January that's taking up more of my time, plus just dealing with a general lack of motivation lately. But I am hoping now that I'm more settled into my internship that I will have more time to write and will be able to get onto a more consistent posting schedule. I have SO MANY things planned for Lucy and Tommy and I hope that you enjoy them!

Again, thank you so, so much for this ask, 🦋! You've absolutely made my day! I am sending all of my love your way! 🖤🖤🖤

Can you help me explain what rads thought was gospel? And that algorithm thing what was that? Thank you!!

oof I'm not going to really do this justice, but the whole party line of this huge segment of fandom (which bleeds heavily into discourse in larrie circles without people really realizing it- people will accept certain things as fact and then use them to base arguments off of without realizing that those ideas are just things said without basis by people who also believe, for example, that Harry is actively working to sabotage Louis' career because he hates him) is that Louis is constantly fighting his label and team because they force him to do things (like for example the reason he talks about stunt stuff is because otherwise 'THEY' won't 'LET' him tour rather than, the choices and trade offs a closeted person makes to make it in the industry are complex and sometimes shitty) and that his label and team don't do the things they should to support him and that powerful people in the industry are actively working to sabotage his career to the extent of paying radio stations NOT to play his songs because he crossed people while in 1D. And so they are very protective of him, which is nice right like aren't we all, but specifically with an inflated sense of self importance-- we have to do promo for Louis because NO ONE ELSE WILL, his label doesn't do anything the only reason any of his releases have any success at all is fan projects (yes people seriously believe this)-- and with feeling sorry for him like POOR LOUIS HE IS SO OPRESSED BY THE POWERS THAT BE (and by Harry, lol) OUR POOR HELPLESS VICTIM BABY. Louis himself, in contrast, has spent the last few years repeating that he would rather people did not feel sorry for him in a way its hard not to feel is pointed, and telling us that he has chosen to do something other than chase number ones in a way that also feels pointed (especially that he would keep repeating that while occasionally also admitting that well... it would be all right if it happened! and making some efforts to see if he can make it happen without compromising what he wants to do), and we have seen firsthand all the things his label and team are doing (including A LOT of promo) and how well it is all working. But you still get folks who will say that he's lying, he's being made to say that stuff, that his team are lying- I literally saw a post saying that the head of BMG Italy was lying about the capacity of the Milan show, that it wasn't really 17k or whatever it was, to make it look like Louis was doing well when really his tour was flopping because BMG didn't want to do their job, or, something. IDEK. So when someone says 'wow look the algorithm put Louis on a spotify indie playlist!', maybe they just don't understand how spotify/promo/capitalism work and think that's how you get a new single on spotify playlists (it's not; your label/ team pay them) but just as likely they are coming from a place of, we know his team doesn't do promo (because some people on tumblr said so) so this must be how it got there!

In today’s article we learn tons about exactly what is being done behind the scenes, and we get Louis saying how he chose the people he works with and is happy with that choice and that it bothers him to be pitied. But I can tell you with certainty that at least one person will unfollow me for this, 3 others I don’t know about will block me, and nothing will change any more than it has at any other point over the last 3 years when he told us the same stuff :/  it’s always simpler to have a villain to be mad at when things happen that aren't what you want (Louis coming out, Louis being the biggest pop star in the world, whatever) after all

I had already planned to give @crazybutgood a shout-out this month because she’s an amazing person, but it also happens to be her birthday today! CBG is way better at origami than I’ll ever be, but I thought I’d give it a shot in folding some things I still know and enjoy making. Stars bring hope, and (baby) turtles link back to the nature of creation and good luck. Fortune cookies are full of fun and surprises, and a paper crane is as the “bird of happiness” that symbolises good fortune and longevity (and it’s a nod to a certain blond ;D). These are all of the qualities I see in CBG, which has made her a key person within fandom who has brought so many others together. She’s a shining star because she knows exactly how to support creators and cheer them on. Her warmth and enthusiasm make things so much brighter, and I’m sure fandom folks can agree with me that because of CBG’s support, that’s why so many awesome works exist today. She’s that fandom enthusiast and reader who makes creators go, “OMG, okay! Maybe I should be doing more of what I’m doing?!” I first saw CBG’s origami from mutuals’ reblogs, and I was blown away. How cool is it that such a beautiful craft has been integrated within fandom? Her work is unique and thoughtful. And she’s obviously damn good at folding, and that’s what makes CBG stand out. She creates origami recs, gifts and shout-outs for people because she wants to not because she has to. Seriously, her origami advent from the hols was so cool, and her author appreciation project is just as awesome and heartfelt (and there’s more to come soon for that!). I have no idea how she does all of this, since these projects are labour intensive to set up. Nevertheless, all of her origami and recs always make me smile whenever they pop up on my feed. And, this is 1000000% why CBG is truly one of a kind. As an origami artist, she has collabed with so many creators to bring some stellar works to life. Make sure to check out more of her creations and recs! She’s also an alpha AND a beta, which is not an easy job. For those who have written fics, it’s easy to let imposter syndrome take over and for the writing plan to fall to pieces. But CBG is there offering her help, cheerleading and kindness so authors can produce the best fics they can be proud of. And the fact that she’s worked with many creators in that sense and has lifted each one up says everything you need to know. She’s obviously someone who is a dream to work with. Did I mention how nice CBG is? I got to co-mod @microficmay with her, and her energy is such a breath of fresh air. She truly wants to help in any way she can and she delivers. She was a godsend during a busy May, and she deserves 8324324324 kudos for keeping things going (thank you so much for being a gem for dealing with all the reblogs at weird hours). I don’t think we expected so many microfics to come in, but hey, that’s never a bad thing. More microfics to enjoy and read! If CBG wasn’t talented enough, she makes podfics AND she writes! I’m so glad she dipped her toes in writing! We both had no idea we would be paired up for the @gameofdrarry Owlery Exchange, but here we are! XD When reveals came out right after Microfic May ended, we laughed when we found out we had been writing to each other for two months without even knowing it. I haven’t written anything for Drarry in many years, so receiving letters from CBG’s Draco and responding back as Harry was really fun. She has been a great person to collab with, and I’m so glad we hit things off (as Harry and Draco and as co-writers)! Our fic, I Just Want You to Know is currently posting up letters from now until the end of the month. Feel free to check it out and follow along for the latest updates! Here are my fav CBG fics too: 🌟 >>> Language of Love (Drarry, T, 864) Summary: “Sometimes, I wish you could understand the things I want to say to you, about you, in Hindi or Urdu.” AHHH! My heart ! <333 This is so tender and gorgeous, and I totally get this. Native languages in fics are something I absolutely adore because the words are personal. And I love how Harry is willing to teach Draco some words he knows to show that he cares. This fic shows so much in so few words! 🌟 >>> Heart on Your Sleeve (Drarry, T, 5.1k + origami) Summary: Draco’s finally returned to England after fleeing to France when he was turned into a vampire. Pansy and Blaise try to drag Draco's moping ass out of Malfoy Manor, but he’s still reluctant while doing so. Until he stumbles upon Potter’s cafe. This is soooo cute! Coffee shop AU + Vampire!Draco was something I didn’t know I needed until I read this fic. The coffee puns, the flirting, the meddling friends and the origami that goes with each part makes this fluffy fic worth the read! If you’re also looking for classic dramatic!Draco, and general banter, give this a shot! 🌟 >>> Green Heart (Drarry, G, 899 + origami) Summary: Seeing Draco’s dexterity with his hands, Draco’s father lets him pursue various Arts for him to develop his skills, including origami. Ensuring Draco strives to practice and excel, his father provides him with an endless supply of ordinary and magical papers. One special type changes colour depending on one’s mood when touched, making for an interesting folding process. A curious Draco tries it out. OKAY, this fic is precious AND clever, because Draco making origami and using it as his outlet for his worries is pretty amazing here. There’s such a beautiful narration of his years at Hogwarts, how they tie back to canon events and how he’s feeling about everything. I don’t even know what else to say, other than the execution of this was so well thought out and how cool it is that we can actually see “his” creations. Find more of CBG’s work on AO3, and give her some love for her fandom contributions! CBG, thank you so much for what you do for fandom creators. You have such a way of making each day so much better for all of us. We love you, and keeping being awesome!

Hi ~ Hope you are doing well.

I have two questions that have been bugging me recently, and off, I need to ask you.

1. Is the bl industry becoming a profitable market? I mean , I know in Thailand it is and idols in Korea are eager to take those roles after Semantic Error, but I don't know if it is a thing that I think or if there is actual information about it.

I'm also curious because if it is profitable as I think it is or if it's gaining more popularity then the new China laws about censorship are little bananas ( i just read the ones for manhua today and I'm flabbergasted). I know they have the issue with the idol market the problem with XZ, etc but still, they made a lot of money and bring s lot of attention through MDSZ.

2. Do you know the origins of the omega verse? I'm intrigued how can someone come up with that universe. What was the context ?! haha

Hope is not too random and it makes sense.

Where do you find academic articles or research for this kind of thing? I'm only used to the medical ones. I used to have access to all kind of data because of college, but not anymore. I would like to read about this kind of thing from time to time

This is getting super long but thanks so much for all the information you give us and this space. I love it and I recommend it to all my bl friends haha. I even used some of the information here for my media psychology classes 😊

Wish you a great week. Cyber hugs ~.

Hi hi, I kinda chatted about that first one for a while back when. Let me see what I can dig up. 

I created a meta post for this okay? 

Omega verse? 

I'm pretty sure it comes from mpreg which comes from fan fic and slash and gay shifters. (And is also connected to the heat and knotting trope.) Probubly can be blamed on mostly the US for making it into an actual market via book sales.

This is decidedly NOT my fandom. I don't mind some fab gay werewolves but I'm not into omegaverse, mpreg, or knotting. So I've actively avoided those tropes in fiction ever since they first started seriously showing up for sale around when, 2015 maybe?

Where do you find academic articles or research for this kind of thing? 

Honestly, I usually start with wikipedia, hope the article has references, go down research holes. Other than that? Sociology and pop culture journals, some blogs, a few anthropologists, the occasional cognitive psyche, podcasts on occasion, good old fashioned books. There isn’t a lot. You should have seen me when I went on a tear about sasaeng fans and parasocial relationships. That was fascinating... If it’s a paid gig I have been known to cold call or email academics on more than one occasion. They all always love to talk about what they do if you can get hold of them. 

Hey hey, another Thursday!

Starting off with OC, ive seen the promo pics and tbh, im excited.

Jet looking amazing in green.

That was the WOOORST job putting a necklace on EVER. Like, not only was it over the hair, but it was not properly lined up for the reveal…

Just casually walking around the streets of nyc with a severed hand.. nbd

Are you seriously telling me that dog devoured that hand in that little time, bones and all?

How and why is it that these hardened career criminals always fall so fucking hard and fast for the UC cop!?? Like, you should have your guard up a little bit shouldn’t you??

Okay, so…. Can we talk about ayanna’s nails for a hot second? She clearly a pillow princess with those claws… LOL

 THANK YOU JET. THANK YOU for fucking calling out that stabler has done SO much worse than KISS someone while UC.

Man this whole sending an agent cop into the field UC to be the romantic interest of a perp/mob/mafia and the cop ends up crossing a line or two, fucking things up and falling for said perp… all while the guy playing Doyle is the main mob boss?? Hmm… this is a little too familiar, like even jet’s wig…

Is she faking this?? Okay, yes, she is. Called that.

This ep is super Ayanna jet heavy and im LOVING it thank fucking god

Also loving ayanna’s apt

Okay the wig coming off would not be that big of a deal in today’s day and age, tons of girls wear wigs all the fucking time. ALSO, why was it not wigcapped, pinned down and secured??

Welp. Cant say im not surprised by the ending. But I am glad that jet’s getting to do more.

As of right now I am paying ZERO attention to mothership. We’ll see if that changes when sam pops up or not.

Okay, the black & tan number Samantha has on close to the end? It looks like it’s a two piece outfit with her midriff hanging out… good job wardrobe…

Ooo..od’d… yeah… called that…, also Nolan that was some of the worst cpr compressions ive ever seen on tv.. cmon

OKAY. Paying attention now!

We REALLY had to watch that machete attack again!?? WHY

Jfc that opening…did we have to go that graphic?? Is this gonna continue to be a new thing?

I cant figure out if they’re trying to test out muncy/Velasco with the fandom and see what way we go, or of they’re teasing the relationship, or if they’re just playing on the brother/sister vibes, because all im getting is muncy being a brat, which is accurate. Also that scene would’ve been a lot less awkward if there was any kind of background noises/music, like when there’s elevator dings on grey’s, you know what im saying?

Loving the purple on Velasco tho

“you wanna keep a stray puppy?” “you got to keep one!” LOL

So bruno’s here to stay?

#1: wtf is this bucket hat.

#2: why is it pulled down so far over her eyes?

Bro those crutches are way too short for this dude

“A funk?” carisi then gives the “who’s this guy” look to liv. LOL.

Man the writing this ep is great.

I appreciate that we’re getting more into muncy’s personality aside from being a lil teasing brat, like, there’s gotta be a lot of grief in there, knowing that her mom died and im pretty sure it was when grace was young, so she’s probably been bottling shit up since then. Also still and always really hoping that they don’t push her & Velasco, let the brother sister bestie vibes win please.

Glad we’re getting lots of muncy this week

Bruno is growing on me….

“sometimes though it’s hard to make a u-turn” IS THAT THE ONLY FOLLOW UP WERE GONNA GET?! (I say that as someone who is 100000000% NOT an eo shipper, but I do think it’s strange that *that* happened last week and like, fin didn’t even ask how noah’s drive back to the city was kinda thing. Yeah, sure there was enough going on in both episodes, but like, there was literally ZERO follow up to everything. Jeeze.)

 Joe looking hella cute in that toque

Man this just keeps getting worse…

Okay… hold up.. grace says “a great one” about Velasco being a liar and liv just flies right passed it AS IF THEY ALL DIDN’T FIRST MEET HIM WHEN HE WAS UC AND NONE OF THEM BELIEVED HIM. Like homeboy WAS working majorly UC for how long??

Though we DO know a tidbit about his previous gang involvement… so I honestly don’t know what direction theyre taking this… it’ll be interesting to see.

sometimes I do work (not often)

I've been working on and off on my upcoming book The Odd Throuple for about twenty years now, and hopefully it will happen in the new year. It started as a fanfic (no, I'm not telling you the fandom) and every now and again I'll be writing away and the characters will remind me so much of who they used to be, back before they evolved into the trio of howling dumbasses they are today. They're fuckwits, and I still love them.

Morons.

He called me back the following day, long past the point where things had slid into the realms of the deeply uncomfortable. I’d spent just under twenty-four hours staring at my phone, Googling ways I could safely lock myself out of it before I used it to abase myself any further, and ended up seriously contemplating beating it to death with a meat hammer. Jack, I knew, had the capacity to treat me like a half-finished novel. I knew how his mind worked. When things got too complicated that was his cue to fuck off up the mountain, and smoke until he was drooling, incapable, and giggling uncontrollably at squirrels. It was part of his process, he said. Nice for him, nasty for me, which is why when the phone eventually rang I was literally standing over it with the steak tenderizer in my hand and murder in my heart.

“Hey,” he said. “I was gonna get a beer at Tracy’s. You wanna…tag along?”

Tag along? I said yes, obviously, but tag along? I had never tagged along in my life, and I wasn’t about to start now. Tagging along implied I’d just showed up and accidentally ended up there, whereas this was deliberate. He’d phoned me. He’d invited me, which was the opposite of being a tagalong, wasn’t it?

The word ‘date’ popped into my head like an intrusive thought. I gave it a cognitive behavioral sideeye, but I showered anyway. And shaved. It was only polite.

Jack hadn’t shaved. He’d opted for the haunted, Hemingway look, and the silver of his stubble made his dark eyes look black by contrast. He looked me up and down in a way I’d never seen before, a way that immediately recalled his hands and his mouth in places where I’d never imagined they’d be for a million years. Until they were. I sat down in a hurry.

He didn’t let up. His gaze flicked over my lips, over the unbuttoned part of my shirt. He had a beer bottle in his hand and for a moment I thought he was going to throw it over his shoulder like he’d threatened to do when he was joking about how I was apparently aroused by the sound of breaking glass.

“So…” he said, and let it hang.

“So.”

Jack took a mouthful of his beer. I tried not to stare at the way his throat (he swallowed) worked. He gestured to the waitress for two more and sat back on the seat. “They got another one of those veggie burgers on special if you’re hungry,” he said.

“I’m good, thank you. I already ate.”

I hadn’t, but it seemed I was still compulsively lying about the dumbest possible things.

“Me, too,” he said, too quickly, and we dropped into a pause so long and so cold that you could have skied down it.

“So,” I said. “Um…how are you?”

“Peachy,” said Jack. “Great. Good. You?”

“Very well, thank you,” I said, trying not to look like a man who had almost taken a steak hammer to his Samsung not two hours earlier.

“Good. Cool.” He nodded. “Listen, I need to tell you something.”

“Oh God. What now? Herpes?”

“No! I do not have herpes!” He spoke too loudly, and several people turned to look. Jack turned red and lowered his voice. “Or anything else, for that matter. Why would you even say that?”

“Look, I’m sorry,” I said. “But I’ve every time I’ve ever had one of these conversations with a hook-up it’s usually involved herpes. Or chylamidia. Oh, or crabs, although you don’t usually have to test for those. They tend to make their presence felt—”

“—sooner rather than later. Yeah, I know. I don’t think you have crabs, either.”

“I know I don’t have crabs, Jack. I think I’d have noticed if I happened to be crawling with crabs, don’t you?”

This time I was the one with volume control problems. Several eavesdropping diners stirred once more, and Jack cringed. At the same moment the waitress brought our beers, compounding the awkwardness.

“Well, okay,” said Jack, when she’d gone again. “That’s good. At least everyone now knows our current STD status.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Whatever. Can I just get this over with, please?”

“Get what over with?” I said. “Oh no. You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“Please,” said Jack. “At my age? No. Here’s what it is, okay? You know…afterwards? When I said my agent was texting me?”

“Yes. It was weird, for the record.”

“I know. Now shut the fuck up and let me talk. Please? Okay. It wasn’t Yolanda on the phone. It was David. He was calling me back. And that wasn’t the first time he’d called me that night. He called me when you were on your way over, to warn me that you were coming, and that you might…I don’t know…murder me or something.”

“Okay,” I said. “And why are you telling me this?”

“Because not telling you about conversations I’ve had with David has not gone great in the past. On account of how you’re insanely jealous.”

“I’m not insanely jealous. I’m reasonably jealous, especially with the way you two carry on.” He narrowed his eyes at me, so I kept talking. “Anyway, thank you. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Not that it makes any sense, of course,” I said. “What the hell were you texting about right after we…you know? Did…”

“…that. Yeah.” Jack ran his tongue over his lips again. Now I knew why he’d been avoiding the subject of that. He was looking at me a lot like he wanted it to happen again. “Same as before – he was mostly checking if I was still alive.”

“Okay. And what did you say?”

His expression – which had been perched on the precipice of horny – snapped back to something more familiar. And tired. “What do you think I said?” he asked. “‘No, I’m dead. I’m six feet under and texting through a medium’? Are you being dumb on purpose?”

“There’s no need to be sarcastic.”

“There is,” said Jack, jabbing at his phone in frustration. “Always. Especially with you. Look.” He held out the phone to me. “Here.”

I took in the conversation at a glance. It was David begging Jack to check in, and Jack telling him I was okay and that whatever it was he and I would work it out. I’m sorry, Jack had written, as a sign off. I need to focus on Alex.

I stared at the words for a little too long, feeling like I’d eavesdropped on a conversation about myself and heard…well, nothing bad, actually. Which was unusual. And nice. Far nicer than it had any business being. “Oh,” I said. “Oh, I see.”

Jack gave a soft, impatient huff. “Do you?”

“Yes.” I didn’t.

“You don’t,” said Jack, reading me like a book. Not just any book, either. He read me like one of those books you keep in a special place, between two larger books that will hold it together, because the spine is mostly sunbleached duct tape and the pages fall out. And some of them are stained with the pistachio ice cream you were eating while you read it alone – for comfort – at the dinner table, even though you didn’t need to read it at all, because you knew it mostly by heart at this point. “You don’t see at all,” he said. “Because you’re a fucking moron.”

I think I made some sort of noise, but it didn’t help.

“Don’t,” said Jack, snatching his phone back. “Don’t do that thing where you blink and pout and look like you have an IQ of forty, because I know for a fact that you don’t. And it’s not your fault, I know. I know and I’m sorry. It’s not your fault that you tested high as a kid and your parents were like ‘Oh shit, we’d better put him in a special school that will will feed into his already massive intellectual arrogance and arrest his intuitive development to the point where he has the emotional intelligence of a fucking Swiffer mop.’”

“Well…thank you?”

“You’re welcome,” he said. Like most people who overindulged in sarcasm, Jack had become noseblind to the scent of it in others.

“I would love to know what I did to deserve this abuse…”

“…it’s not abuse, Alex,” he said. “It’s just the truth. You make everything so fucking complicated, okay? You overreact. You overanalyse. You parse every conversation down to the last punctuation mark in case something got lost in translation and you might have accidentally missed out on a semi-colon’s worth of nuance. You have two doctorates. You speak five fucking languages, and yet you remain one of the dumbest motherfuckers I have ever encountered in over forty years of being surrounded by idiots.” He poked desperately at the phone on the table to make his point. “It’s there, Alex. There are no semi-colons to pick at, nothing lost in translation. It’s simple. That text is just me explaining that I care about you. Is that really such a complex concept for you?”

I stared at the phone for a long moment. Swallowed. “No,” I said, too quietly. So I said it again. “No.”

“Okay,” Jack said, with the air of someone who had just finished doing his taxes. He hated doing his taxes. “Good. Cool. Then can we stop with the relentless post-mortem?”

I nodded and reflexively reached for the menu.

“You want a burger?” he asked. “I could go for a burger.”

“I thought you already ate?”

“No.”

“You said you did,” I said, and he gave me a beady, exasperated look. I knew why. I was doing it again, right after he’d told me in no uncertain (and weirdly touching) terms to knock it the fuck off. Besides, I was in no position to judge. I hadn’t eaten either. And I’d also lied about it. “Sure,” I said, wondering what in the world was wrong with us. “I could eat.”

one, what otps in the fandom do you just not get ?, three, have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion ?, seven, is there anything you used to like but can't stand now ?, & twenty - two, popular character you hate ?

SALTY ASKS. // @hyruin

1. What OTPs in the fandom do you just not get?

UHHH honestly all fandom ships i can get, like i understand it even if i don’t like it, such as zelink. i have never rly cared for them as a couple but i can see why other folks like them. off the top of my head i can’t think of any other ships that would rly make me go ‘why’, everyone tends to have ships that either make sense or Could make sense.

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

oh probably lol, i know ppl have unfollowed ME over my opinions. i can’t remember anyone in recent times i’ve unfollowed for fandom opinions though, so it would’ve been eeeeeons ago. we better have pretty seriously clashing opinions that mean we just cannot mesh in writing for me to unfollow.

7. Is there anything you used to like, but can’t stand now?

wow im so unsalty today, because i can’t think of anything. i’m sure it’ll hit me later because there is always SOMETHING that gets me spicy. maybe… rauru?? and sonia?? idk if that counts but their appearance in totk rly disappointed me and their story arcs were really one-note and bland.

22. A popular character you hate?

i don’t like rauru. i don’t like botw zelda (mostly her design doesn’t hit for me and i don’t care for her sad waifu behavior, she doesn’t rly seem like Zelda(TM) to me). i don’t rly like tulin, but i also wanted more teba sorry kid.

i don’t have any others off the top of my head but i’ve been using my work laptop to scroll through zelda characters and this is the funniest thing to pop up:

wtf is going on with all of his girlfriends that the truth needs to come out????

When you have no idea who or what (G)I-DLE is but you like the post cos you love what the person posts regardless.

Seriously tho, whos that? Is it a nice recommend for an artist

Would like to know

Have a lovely day!

D'awwww, this is sweet! And I'm always happy to gush about these girlsssss (G)I-DLE are my favourite band!! They're a Kpop group! (And no - I'm not a stan, I don't have energy for that fandom culture - I just keep up with the music because they've got bops) I like (G)I-DLE the most out of Kpop bands because I think they bring something very unique to the table compared to a lot of other girl groups - and more recently their concepts have been having more societal messages - which is not all that typical in Kpop so - I think these girls are cool! I'll link to their two most recent songs because they really popped off in terms of concepts and messages. Allergy was literally released today and it reminded me of how I used to be aaaaaaaah