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marble-anime · 1 year

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Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene

Pairing: Alucard x Reader

Summary: Deciding to leave behind your life as a human, you allow your vampire lover to turn you in the most exquisite way possible.

Disclaimer: Minors DNI

Warnings: biting, blood drinking, smut, unprotected sex, creampie

Word Count: 2k

Having lived through multiple centuries, Alucard had seen many changes in society. One of them being the shift in the way women and what they did with their bodies were perceived. Even after breaking free of the shackles men had on them, gaining their own rights, and moving up in the world, they were still burdened by impractical expectations. In this day and age, a woman was degraded for sleeping around but if they were a virgin they were considered a prude.

When he met you he tried to keep himself from getting too close. But there was something about you that he just couldn’t shake. You were kind-hearted and tender. You were always the first person at his side after he returned from a job. Looking after any wounds he might have with a feathery touch. Expression filled with worry, unafraid to show how much you cared for the vampire despite his quick regeneration.

At the same time, you were also calm and laid back. Giving him space when he needed it, and not taking offense to his crude sentences. Your presence wasn’t overwhelming but gave him a sense of security. To him, you were a breath of fresh air.

He felt an intense urge to protect you. Most women nowadays lost their virginities before they turned 20. He figured you were the same. He couldn’t bear the thought of a vampire getting their hands on you and turning you into a mindless ghoul. He’d discussed it with Integra once, disguising his concern for you as a strategy in Hellsing's favor. With your intelligence, you’d be better suited to help come up with battle plans than aid Seras and himself in wiping out monsters.

But, having known him since she was a child, she saw right through him. Waving off his words and explaining that her decision to put you in the field was utilizing you to the best of your abilities. Adding that if you had been attacked you wouldn’t become a ghoul.

He was pleasantly surprised by her subtle hint at your virginity. Ignoring the joy he felt deep within himself at the possibility of you one day becoming immortal and spending your undying life with him. With his newfound discovery, he allowed himself to fall out of his comfort zone and into love with you.

Throughout your relationship, he anxiously awaited the talk you’d have to have regarding your life. He chose not to read your mind, whether he was trying to respect you or prolong the conversation he didn’t know. Enthralled with the idea of you choosing him over your humanity, yet dreading the prospect of you not wanting to become a monster like him.

Even without reading your mind, he’d known your answer before you did. The day you confessed that you were a virgin, unaware that Integra already told him. Avoiding his piercing stare with pink cheeks, foolishly worried that it would change the way he viewed you. He’d grasp your chin with a softness that was foreign to him and bring your gaze to meet his. Reassuring you that your inexperience was far from an issue. In fact, it saved you both the pain of having to lose each other. Telling you that you were meant for him and everything that happened up until that point was to bring you two together. His precious human.

He practically felt the love radiating from you as you stared up at him, eyes filled with mirth. He knew your decision. You were gonna stay with him forever. Perhaps his words influenced you. Or maybe you had the idea in your pretty head all along. Either way, it didn’t matter, now all he had to do was give you time to prepare for your new life as a fledgling. A few months later you told him that you were ready. Ready to abandon this lifetime to spend many more with the man you loved.

Tucked away in his coffin, there was little to no space between the two of you. Bare bodies pressed against each other, his arms looped around you like a cage. Your hand tugged at his raven locks as his long tongue teased your own. Your plush breast cushioned his own chest as his tall frame towered over you. Leaving a trail of kisses across your cheek, making his way down to your neck. Your breath hitched at the feel of his teeth grazing your flesh. His deep raspy voice distracts you from the sound of your rapid heartbeat thumping in your ears, “Are you sure?”

Sucking in a few deep breaths, you gave yourself a moment to think about it. After all, if you really went through with this your whole life would be flipped upside down. You’d have to adjust to being a vampire, get used to drinking human blood, and most importantly you’d live forever. You wouldn’t be able to settle down with someone, have kids, and grow old with them.

But what was the point of having all that if you couldn’t have it with Alucard? You knew you’d never love anyone as much as you loved him. Even more so, now that you had experienced life with him, you couldn’t imagine living out the rest of your life without him. You nodded, choosing him above everything, “Yeah.”

With your confirmation, he sunk his teeth into you. “Ah.” Your face scrunched up in pain as his fangs pierced your jugular. He hummed in delight, cock throbbing at your taste. While he continued to drink up the blood gushing from your neck, your body tensed. A fire ignited within you, heat running through your veins. Your heart rate accelerated, mind becoming fuzzy. You wondered if this was the transformation starting to take over you or just your body reacting to the pain.

An ache growing in the pit of your stomach, you reached between your bodies to grasp his lengthy cock that was prodding your thigh. You coated his tip with your arousal before lining him up with your entrance. Truthfully, you weren’t sure how this worked or how long you had to wait for your transformation. For all you know, you could be moving far too fast, tiptoeing the line between vampire and ghoul. But that was the farthest thing from your mind. You craved for him to become one with you. Sensing your urgency, Alucard pulled back. Licking away the remaining blood. “Don’t be so hasty. Such things require delicacy.”

His low voice sent shivers down your spine. You wrapped your legs around his waist while he slowly pushed his girth inside you. Filling you up as he buried himself to the hilt. His intrusion left a gnawing pain in your lower half. Your muscles tightened around him causing pressure in your gut. You gripped his shoulder blades at the unfamiliar feeling. He stretched you open with shallow thrusts. Pain slowly melting into pleasure, you arched into him. “More.”

He followed your command to the best of his ability. Picking up the pace but barely using an ounce of his strength, careful not to hurt you. Though the exquisite, long-awaited, feel of your velvety walls around him enticed him to push the boundaries, just a little. Alas, he held himself back. He knew he had to be gentle. Not only were you a virgin but your body was beginning to change in ways you couldn’t quite describe. You felt so full yet so empty. Alive yet lifeless. You were overwhelmed with emotions but you felt so detached.

“Alu,” you moaned, knees banging on the sides of the coffin to the rhythm of Alucard’s hips. Digging your nails into him, you scratched down his back drawing a groan out of him. Gasping for breath as the inside of the coffin heated up from your rigorous movement. You rolled your head to the side to look at your lover whose face was nuzzled into your shoulder. His neck stretched, exposing a thick juicy looking vein. You focused in on the vessel, the world around you becoming still and quiet.

Unable to control yourself, you leaned in. Biting down as hard as you could, determined to break the barrier between you and what you craved. You felt his shoulders tense, hips stuttering, no doubt surprised by your sudden action. Finally breaking through his skin, his blood flooding into your mouth.

Initially, when deciding whether or not to become a vampire, you’d always worried about having to drink blood. Not sure if you would be able to stomach the metallic taste to live off of it forever. However, slurping down Alucard’s blood, the experience was far more pleasant than you had expected. He tasted like rich wine. A perfect balance between bitter and sweet.

You felt as though you’d been jump-started back to life. Your previous confusion to the new sensations flowing through you evaporated. Living in a cruel world where everyone seemed to get the opposite of what they deserved. Divided by constant change and indecision. Suddenly the only thing that made sense to you was Alucard and the way he was fucking you. You began to rock your hips against him. The basement filled with his husky laugh. “My, my. Taking what you want with no regard for anything else,” he teased, “Has my selfishness rubbed off on you, dear?”

“Maybe,” you pulled away from his neck to tease him back. Blood dripping from the corner of your mouth which he generously lapped up for you. His veins left tingling at the idea of his blood circulating through you. Reminding him what drew him to you in the first place. You were the only one who could make him feel like this. He bit into you once again, except this time it didn’t hurt. All you felt was pure bliss. The corners of your mouth stretched into a wide smile, suffocating in the scent of sex.

A mix of moans and whimpers left your mouth. Squirming in Alucard’s arms as his cock reached deep inside you, hitting all the right places. The lack of oxygen, loss of blood, and the sweet pleasure you were feeling, all of it caused stars to cloud your vision. Your hands cascaded through his hair, softly urging him off of you with the request, “Wanna kiss you.”

Lifting his head to look at you, you finally saw his face. Mouth covered in your blood, eyes filled with fondness. A gentle expression framed by his long jet-black hair. He nudged his nose against yours before connecting your lips. The kiss was bloody and raw. Tasting each other's fluids mixing in your mouths. Your faces were covered in blood and saliva.

You tightened your hold on him. Your sounds were drowned out by his lips as you felt yourself coming undone. Shuddering as you felt his warm seed spill inside you. He slowed his thrusts, letting you both ride out your highs before his body went limp on top of you.

You softly massaged his scalp as he rested his head on your chest. As your hazy mind was starting to clear, you felt a laugh bubbling up in your chest. Suddenly overcome with joy, your efforts to bite it back were futile. The bursts of laughter erupting from your throat caught your love's attention. He looked up at you and tilted his head, clearly amused by your actions. “What’s so funny, my darling?”

You shrugged, trying to calm yourself down as you answered, “I’m just happy.”

Though he found your words to be heartwarming, he couldn’t help but wonder if you’d come to regret your decision. “You realize that this isn’t something you can take back, right?”

“Shouldn’t you have said that before you bit me?” You were only joking. As he turned his head to avoid your gaze, you knew the reason. For your envious, caring, lover hidden under the disguise of a cruel and selfish beast, it was easier to comfort you after the fact than to live out the rest of his life in grief after you would’ve inevitably passed on. You gently trailed your fingertips up and down his back, lulling the both of you to sleep while you reassured him, “Don’t worry. I’m more than content with my choice.”

#alucard x reader #hellsing x reader #alucard smut #hellsing smut #hellsing alucard x reader #hellsing alucard smut

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kurosstuff · 12 days

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✨Vampire Sera x GNreader x Vampire Lute✨ I want it

Headcanons this time around~ and fluff with a HINT of angst~♡

Kinda short this time around♡

Warning(s): blood drinking, fluff, jealousy (?) Slight spice? Two small drabbles

Vampire sera x GN!reader x Vampire lute: headcanons

Having two vampire lovers while being a human wasn't always easy.

Especially if one just so happened to be hungry- thats when it wasn't the greatest. Especially since both are addicted to your blood.

Lute. When she drank from you? Wasnt always nice nor gentle. Cause unlike Sera. She can't be gentle. Bruises always from Lute- who didn't mean to but she did try.

She does know her strength knows what she csn do if not careful but she tries

"Quit moving~" Lute snarled out, holding your waist in a bruising hold you just knew was gonna hurt for days

"ok, ok- I'm sorry" you huffed out, tilting your head for her to chomp down on gasping as she fed clinging to her shoulders tightly tearfully at the stinging pain you felt "lute.. gentle~" you gasped out, feeling her Claws digging into your skin breaking it almost as if wanting to shred you

Once lute got feral- all blood thirsty for your blood Sera needs to step in. Or she'll drink you dry

Not like you mind

Each time it happens Lute hides. Refusing to see you go anywhere near you. No matter where you look you never can find her.

Sera knows, but she also knows lute needs to forgive herself first. Before she can go to their Mate again. Sera is annoyed given how often she's reminded her thst their mate is a human. A fragile human.

But when lute does come around you forgive her like always knowing she didn't truly mean too. She'll hold you close kissing any marks she left on you as gently as she can.

Now? Sera stays in the room as she feeds.

Sera, on the other hand? Is gentle. Rarely losing herself- always taking your hand whispering softly to you. Praising you.

Just being soft as she pulls you in her lap cooing before she drinks.

Unlike Lutes, it doesn't feel like she's trying to drain you. To eat you. She's as gentle as possible like a small prick if anything given how gently she bites to drink.

But there's days she's too thirsty.

Hungry

That's when you need to worry.

Seeing Sera stare you in your doorway. Like a predator, and you're her prey. You gulped knowing what was gonna happen. Covering your neck- your warnings and concerns falling on deaf ears as she pins you, kissing you roughly before biting you harshly holding you close as she gets her full.

So gone she didn't hear your cries. Or lutes yells before she was ripped away as lute screamed trying to cover your bloody neck sobbing as she drank way to much.

That made her snap out of it. Seeing your fear on your face

That was the first time and last time Sera ever lost control enough. She almost killed you. Never again will she allow it to happen.

To see your fear. Of her.

But not everything is stressful. There's romantic days where you show them modern stuff and have fun with that

Aka pranking them every now and again

You learned the hard way lute. Doesn't understand jokes at all. And to never prank or joke with much stuff with her.

Sera gets it and laughs(cause of Emily) but she prefers to keep it on the rare occasions

Both ladies insist on you sleeping in between them when it's time to sleep no matter what.

"To protect you!" - lute(she just wants to steal your warmth as well)

Now- when it comes to their bat forms?(and any other animal they decide to be)

Free hugs/cuddles. And they know it. How eager and happy you are to love up on them

Both ladies adore it-

Even going as far as turning back to tease you. Each time it works.

Lute does that a lot mire then Sera does- who prefer you to be happy and if that meant her being in one of her animal forms? Then so be it

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin lute #lute x reader #hazbin hotel lute #sera seraphim #hazbin hotel sera #sera x reader #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x you #MONSTER AU

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autumnaaltonen · 1 year

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Alucard with his s/o that wants to give himself bit of their blood to Seras cause they're afraid she's gonna starve from not drinking any?

Wording has me a bit confused, but what I assume you were requesting is how Alucard would react if his s/o wanted to give Seras some of their blood? If not, I'm really sorry! And please feel free to clarify.

But let's do this.

When you ask Alucard if you can shed some of your blood for dear fledgling Seras, two things go through his mind:

#1, You are a true angel on earth, always thinking of others.

The fact that you are ready to maim yourself for the sake of your friend's happiness is so heartwarming and also very brave.

In the Hellsing universe, to willingly donate your blood to a vampire is a true act of trust and devotion, as willing blood is very potent and powerful.

#2, Hahahaha, no.

The reason Seras is starving herself of blood for most of the series is for her own philosophical reasons. She believes that once she takes that step and becomes a true vampire, she will forever lose an important part of herself. That part being her mortal identity.

Alucard both refutes and admires this philosophy. He thinks Seras is hypocritical when she has already begun the path as a draculina but refuses to finish it. At the same time, he admires her conscientiousness to her human identity and inherent innocence.

So when you offer up your blood to her, you are unintentionally disposing both of these ideas (for a good reason, mind you! Girl is literally starving herself).

THAT BEING SAID.

We know Alucard. This man is possessive AF. And like mentioned before, willing blood is powerful stuff, so the idea that your willing blood would be the first taste for this fledgling is a big ick for him.

If your blood is being given to any vampire, it should and WILL be him.

Selfish? Yes. Surprising? Hell no.

But in the end, if you manage to be cute convincing enough, Alucard will respect your autonomy and allow you to offer Seras your blood.

Just don't count on the stubborn police girl to say "yes please".

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #alucard #alucard x reader #seras victoria

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deeply-unserious-fellow · 4 months

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GUYS I'VE OFFICIALLY LOST IT-

So. Awhile ago, I saw this post, right? Basically it just said that Sera and Sir Pentious' cards have very similar compositions, and that Seraphim, which is what Sera is, are often associated with serpents. Interesting, but could still be a coincidence, right?

So anyways I checked the reblogs and saw somebody say they should kiss. And now I'm insane.

Because like... the only thing we know really about Sir Pentious' potential story arc in the show is that he's gonna have a crush on one of the other characters. And the only thing confirmed about his sexuality(to my knowledge) is that he is attracted to women. We don't really have any way to know who his crush is, because there are a lot of women in Hazbin Hotel, but could still be noteworthy, right? And like... okay this is gonna sound like the most "trust me, bro" evidence I could possibly pull out of my ass at first but I just need you to hear me out here, okay? Sera's crown and Sir Pentious' hat have a lot of visual similarities. Here's a helpful diagram :)

Which like. Okay. Could literally be nothing, right? Except for two small things that I can't let go of: One, Sir Pentious' goggles + the v-shaped brim on his hat were added to his design AFTER he was given a more prominent role in the show-

(Pilot design, back when he was meant to be a one-off villain of the week vs current design as a member of the main cast)

And two, the Hellaverse shows kind of have a tendancy to use visuals in order to signify characters' relationships to eachother. It's also just a pretty popular form of symbolism as a whole tbh, but the Hellaverse has a lot of really good examples. Like, for instance, how Vaggie's new outfit is a lot closer to Charlie's color pallette than any of her previous designs, or this really good breakdown by @/raeynbowboi about the symbolism of hearts in Hazbin Hotel and how they pertain to Angel Dust/his relationships! It's from awhile ago so some of the info is a tad outdated, but overall I do think the analysis holds up. Meanwhile, in Helluva Boss, Moxxie and Millie have basically the same color pallette and they were the most functional relationship in the entire show before before Fizzmodeus came along. Which, speaking of those two...

See, I made this diagram because, after I pointed out the similarities between Sera and Sir Pentious' headgear to my dad and asked him if those kinds of similarities were a valid form of analysis(because I am but a humble highschooler that doesn't know everything about media analysis, and also I felt like I was losing my mind-), my dad said that I should look at the creator's(Vivziepop's) other works to see if couples having similar motifs was a recurring theme. So obviously, I picked my favorite couple in either show and disected their designs for every little detail that could maybe possibly be an intentional parallel. And while some of it is kind of iffy, like Fizz's limbs being the same kind of blue as Ozzie's tufts could just be a way to show that Ozzie made them, or both of them having uh, two things sticking off of their head(that one's definitely a reach-), I think stuff like both of them having hearts as a recurring detail in their designs or having lITERALLY THE SAME EYE COLOR??? Are pretty good evidence that Viv/the Hellaverse design team tend to use visuals to signify characters relationships.

ALSO!!!! If the Fallen Angel Vaggie theory ends up being true, there could be some interesting parallels to draw between Chaggie and Sera/Sir Pentious! Something about like... demon royalty/random angel vs angel royalty/random demon. Could be used to draw parallels between how the two societies treat that kind of thing idk.

So, now that all the meta evidence is out of the way, we can get down to what really matters: would these two work as a couple? Do their personalities mesh well togther? And the answer to that is!

IM SORRY FOR USING THE GIF IT WAS A GOOD JOKE IN MY HEAD BUT TYPING THIS OUT IDK IF IT'S ACTUALLY FUNNY-

But in all seriousness, I don't actually know. We just... haven't seen enough of Sera to know for sure. In fact, this whole theory is based off of small details that definitely add up to SOMETHING, but could very well be pieces to some very different puzzles that I'm trying to shove together because somebody jokingly suggested that they would fit. Like, the parallels really COULD mean something, and it COULD have something to do with Sir Pentious having a crush on another character, but like. There could also be a million other answers to both of those questions, y'know? I also have a tendancy to make wild conspiracy theories about genuinely inconsequential details... I almost never talk about them publically, but still. Though I will say, based off of Sera's description in the leaks, I could definitely see a world where she bounces off of Sir Pentious pretty well. Her description in the leaks very much gave me uh... Isabela cover of Surface Pressure vibes, y'know? Shit that is- that is a weird way to describe that but most people on here have seen Encanto right? Y'all get it? And Sir Pentious is both a Victorian Gentleman Type and completely unhinged. Like... idk there's something there. I could maybe see it working. But at the end of the day, it's just too early to tell.

That being said I WILL be trying to pump out some fanart of these two before the actual show comes out and crushes my crackshipping dreams. Also their ship name is either SeraPentious or PentSera I can't decide.

Edit: Wait a second... SeraPent. Serpent. PUN!!!!!!!!!! Okay I think I'm going with SeraPent-

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hisui555 · 2 months

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Hazbin Hotel thoughts : Foils 4

(Foils 1 here)

(Foils 2 here)

(Foils 3 here)

Masterpost here.

(Or the one where I'm starting to think I'm not really creative with title names.)

Anyway, I'm on a roll (seriously, what's happening. Motivation is perking up from its deep slumber. Didn't happened since last October. Is it a full blue moon tonight or...?) and I did say I was gonna talk about Lucifer and Sera, so here goes.

Lucifer VS Sera, and for good measure Charlie VS Emily. Both Lucifer and Sera come from Heaven (revelation of the century, wow, I know - oh lookit dat, my sarcasm is awake early today), happen to both be Seraphim (with Lucifer as one of the most powerful and Sera having been involved in the creation of Earth apparently, if Ep 1's intro is to be believed) and a parental figure to their younger charge : Lucifer is Charlie's literal dad and Sera is a mentor motherly figure to Emily. They also both want to protect the ones they love, but go about it in different ways : Lucifer made a deal that no hellborn demons are hurt during the yearly Exterminations, while Sera enforces Heaven's flawed system to keep the heaven-bound souls and Emily joyful and safe. However, hurt Charlie and Lucifer will come down on you like a meteor, despite having spent time estranged from his own daughter, while Sera keeps Emily out of the loop despite always being with her (they are no on-screen scenes of Emily alone up to now, even if at one point Sera did separate to talk to Adam, which means that Emily was showing Vaggie and Charlie around on her own, off-screen).

This is fairly interesting to see that while Lucifer - due to depression, growing cynism (10 000 years at least of waking up each morning and being met first thing looking out of the window by Hell's cesspool of sin and violence - the reminder of his broken dreams and awful unforeseen consequences of his well-meaning gift of free will) and plain just life going sideways with his wife missing for 7 years and his daughter going down the same road as him, also unintentionally hurting Charlie by not supporting her dreams (at first) - is not much involved in Charlie's life but still wanting to reconnect with her and is ecstatic when he has the chance to ("My daughter wants to see meeee !"), Sera is always present in Emily's life, working together with her ("It's my position as the Head Seraphim to protect our people at all costs ! And it's your position to keep them happy and joyful") in tandem : one takes care of the technical side, the other of the emotional side of things. Bread and circuses (funnily enough, Lucifer and the other Sins have a circus theme going on) - yet she's more distant and disconnected from Emily, keeping her (and the majority of Heaven) in the dark and using her position to uphold the status quo over what Emily wants or feels. Lucifer, while reluctant at first, actually agrees to help Charlie the way Charlie would like it to go, and is there to pick her up when things go south, fully supporting her once he comes around (More Than Anything and Finale).

Sera and Lucifer are also kind of two sides of the same coin : the latter is a known dreamer, extremely creative and open-minded, which blew up in his face when he changed things, unintentionally made shit hit the fan and got casted down to Hell for it. Sera on her side upholds the rules, doesn't dare to question the system, strives to not change a thing even if she seems to deeply regret how it's done, and lives in constant fear of her or her loved ones suffering Lucifer's fate. At the point of the first season, both are motivated by the same thing : fear, especially of losing or seeing their loved ones hurt, and especially this exact thing happening to their daughter figure - a very relatable thing. Yet Lucifer, after some prodding, chooses to fully stand by his daughter's side (and what's more, she (unknowingly) succeeds !) while Sera feels forced to squash Emily's hopes with the intention to spare her anguish and pain. At the end of Ep 6, both have disappointed their daughter figure at least once, but Lucifer did it in the past and strives to get better, while Sera is currently doing it and worsening things (in Ep 8, she's probably keeping Emily from intervening in any form about the Extermination). Lucifer, the fallen angel, dares to go where Sera, the high seraphim, would not, overcoming a fear Sera still can't shake off.

Quick aside, they make a nice foils triangle with Carmilla : Sera on one side as an angel not changing the status quo even if it's flawed and even if it brings her anguish and she has to put her daughter figure's feelings down for it, Carmilla on the other side as a demon who broke the rules by defeating the undefeatable to protect her daughters no matter what and helping out indirectly, and Lucifer in the middle as a fallen angel that has tried but given up, ending up doing a pendulum swing from one side to another, both with his own daughter in mind too - first not supporting her dream to avoid her getting crushed, then saying 'screw it let's do it' and standing by her side no matter what. Probably not intentional, but the fact that he starts with his more angelic form (ep 5) like Sera and ends up in his more demonic form (ep 8) like Carmilla when at peak protectiveness is smile-inducing to observe.

Charlie, Emily, Odette and Clara really should organize a tea party sometime.

Which brings us to Charlie VS Emily. Not gonna lie, they're a lot alike (the sun also rose today, also, breaking news : water is wet), idealistic, optimists, two piles of sugar sweetness in the shape of a young woman (chronological age notwithstanding) with a certain naïveté to them - basically, they're each other's counterpart in their respective realms of Heaven and Hell, as high-ranked figures in charge of seemingly less important stuff that actually have their weight : Charlie is the Princess of Hell and founder of the Hotel, wanting to repent Sinners, while Emily is a seraphim in charge of making citizens in Heaven happy. Both strive to bring joy and kindness to their own people and fully believe in their cause, so it's no wonder that they immediately click very well together. In Welcome To Heaven (both the song and episode), Emily is absolutely gleeful in meeting both Charlie and Vaggie, can't wait to show them around, and openly welcoming no strings attached (which contrasts Sera's tempering : "You're gifted to be here", and "of course it's just temporary, I'm sorry you can't stay" - she's quick to remind everyone that it's not where the two demons belong).

However Emily looks like a Charlie that's still sheltered. To be fair, while Charlie is, in some measure, still naive about her own world (though not naive enough to think every Sinner wants redemption), with not-really-thought-through plans (Puppy dog kisses and puffy-wuffy clouds, anyone ?), has grown up under the protection and love of her parents, and is ready to Fluttershit the shy (yes, you read that right) out of everyone who comes knocking, she's still out there working for it (even during Exterminations, as seen when she found Vaggie), knowing it'll be a hard road and that she's going to get rebuked a lot. She's also more or less on her own, at least since 7 years, estranged from her parents and managing the Hotel alone (later with the help of her girlfriend since 3 years). Emily on her side, from her own point of view, lives in a world where nothing is wrong (as far as she knows), has been kept away from what's really going on (though no fault of her own) and is always around her mentor, having the task of keeping people happy. The moment the truth is out, her world shatters ("What are you saying, let me get this straight - you go down there and kill those poor souls ?!") and the pedestal her mentor figure was on, in her eyes, completely falls apart. However, just like Charlie, she shows inner strength and maturity, immediately calling out and condemning said actions, showing that she's not a child to coddle - just like Charlie who is capable of showing a more competent and dangerous side. They also have both less human forms (Charlie's demon form, Emily's seraphim form) that partially pop up when they become emotional or agitated (the horns and eyes for Charlie, the halo and torso eyes for Emily).

Where Charlie rekindles her bond with her father, realizing how much alike they are and at one point having believed in the same dream before also rekindling said belief, Emily on her side ends her episode realizing how different she is from Sera, who fed her beliefs and morals she herself doesn't hold - and rightfully calls her out on the hypocrisy, because just like Charlie, who's out during Exterminations to help her own people, she's willing to risk herself (falling) for what she believes is right, fair and just. Is it any wonder why the joined duet of Charlie and Emily is such a cathartic banger ? Everyone together now !

If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie !

If angels can do whatever and remain in the sky !

The rules are shades of gray, when you don't do as you say,

When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again !

As a side note, I also wanted to talk about the representation of Heaven itself : I was awaiting the classic "everyone looks like humans with wings, back to how they looked like on Earth for the Winners, with some form of uniformization", just like St-Peter basically. But the show did me one better : Heaven is just as diverse as Hell - there are animals, anthros, monster-like people, some have still object-heads and item-like bodies, just with a vaguely gold-and-white aesthetic and some angel wings. There are things that crawl, fly, twist, people with multiple eyes and limbs, fangs, gills, scales and fur, just like Hell. The only ones uniformized (and looking like flat-out classic demons) are the Exorcists - and those are the fanatics hellbent on carnage and suffering. When Sir Pentious ascends, he's still a snake, just with a more angelic-like design. Take Molly's wings out and put her in Hell, or stick them to Angel Dust and put him in Heaven, and you won't see the difference. Heaven dips just as much on the "monster, abomination, humanly incomprehensible" side as Hell, and just like Hell, not everyone is a jerk (even if not everyone is nice either. Right, Adam ?) : Emily is genuinely kind and open-minded, St-Peter is accomodating, and despite agreeing to actions that bring the misery to thousands of people, Sera is sincerely compassionate and regretful of her decisions (even if she believes them necessary - funny, since she was the one to call Charlie "misguided" earlier).

Again, it's a spectrum. There's no real box to fit people in, simply because here, Heaven and Hell are just like us humans : flawed. They have the big lines down, but the edges are blurry, and a lot of people fall through the cracks. They're like two districts of the same city, each on the opposite side of the road. Once more, people being people.

Again, Masterpost here.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel thoughts #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin sera #hazbin hotel sera #hazbin emily #hazbin hotel emily

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avionvadion · 3 months

Note

Hey so I finally have my thoughts together enough to talk about that Lucifer/El fic you posted. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! A Lucifer almost completely eaten by his introspective thoughts x El who is able to keep him grounded in reality? A match made in Heaven (or Hell technically lol). And I saw that ask where El sasses Adam for losing his first wife to Lucifer and I gotta say, I just need more of El's sass and Adam being a whiny lil bitch who threatens things when he doesn't get what he wants. It was amazing lol. Also, I actually really liked the song you made for Lucifer! Did you have any musical style in mind when you wrote it, or are you just leaving it up to our imaginations? Either way, I really enjoyed it and would love it if you wrote more, if that's the way the muse takes you! Absolutely no pressure though, I just would like more if that's what you feel like writing right now lol.

*screeches excitedly jogging tiptoes around kitchen counter while a grilled cheese cooks*

Thank youuuuuuuu!!!!!! It was so hard, haha. I did like three or four versions of the song (and each were WAY different than how it actually ended up) and in one El fell alone on the pile of gold while Lucifer transformed into a giant serpent and “ate” whatever demonic sillouhettes tried to approach her, and then he transformed back and plopped his legs on her lap like a sassy boi while she’s just like O.o

It got so chaotic, but I didn’t like how the lyrics were so I kept changing it. It’s supposed to be a bit of a jazzy waltz tune that speeds up into a bop??? But I only know how to play music, writing it is so much harder, lol

And yesssss~ Lucifer gets so lost sometimes that he starts to dissociate and El is just like, “Hey, it’s okay. Breathe. Your daughter still loves you. It’s gonna be alright.”

Lucifer, laying dramatically across her lap like it’s a soap opera: “Everthing is HORRIBLE.”

El: “Charlie’s nice?”

Lucifer, immediately excited and sitting up, a proud papa: “HELL YEAH SHE IS. MY DAUGHTER’S THE BEST.”

Lowkey, El wouldn’t like to hear about Lucifer’s ex (just makes her feel uncomfortable and a little unworthy since he’s the literal KING of Hell and Lilith is fucking gorgeous; how can she compete with that? But it’s fine, she knows it’s just her self loathing/anxiety trying to get the better of her) but she would absolutely bring her up to mess with Adam any chance she got.

I think it’d be funny if/when Adam finds out El is dating Lucifer he tries to shit talk him and build himself up, being all, “Bitch you don’t know what you’re missing” and she’s just like, “Nah, no thanks, I like the short king, he’s cute.”.

Adam: “EXCUSE ME? I’M CUTE AS FUCK. FAR CUTER THAN THAT PIECE OF-“

El: *immediately starts gushing about Lucifer just to aggravate him*

Adam, greatly disturbed: “MA’AM WHAT THE HELL.”

El: “Also, he doesn’t call me Bitch. Damn, no wonder your wife left you for him.”

Adam: “YOU FUCKING BITCH-“

El: *starts singing So What by P!nk but changing the lyrics so it’s technically from Adam’s PoV. He grows increasingly more pissed. Charlie and Sera have to run intervention so he doesn’t kill her* “Guess I just lost my first wife, I dunno where she went! So I’m gonna drink my money, I’m not gonna pay her rent!”

Doesn’t even get very far in the song, haha.

I think at one point El will just start singing Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing at Adam and/or the other angels. Probably during the council or after. I dunno, I’m just throwing ideas.

“So could you~ tell me, how you’re sleeping easy thinking only of yourself? Show me how you justify~ telling all your lies like second nature!? Listen! Mark my words one day~ you will pay, you will pay! Karma’s gonna come collect your debt!”

That said. A damn shame we didn’t get Adam singing “Stick it to the Man” from School of Rock. 🤣

#*is vibrating with uncontrollable excitement* I love this sad silly snake man so much #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel oc

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theheraldsrest · 2 years

Text

“Companions react to the Inquisitor flying”

You broke them. That’s it. That’s all there is, that’s the answer. Go home

I’m kidding. LET CHAOS RAIN.

-Lord Lex

Cullen

Cullen’s just outright done. This whole thing has just been surprise and stress and surprise, one after another. And now, he wakes up to you flying up to the balcony, waving hello. Didn’t even realize it till later. And you know what? He’s gonna pretend he didn’t even see it.

Josephine

It’s…not common but not unwelcome. Sure, it scared her the first time you dropped in front of her from the sky, but it’s fine. She doesn’t mind all that much as long as you don’t pop out of nowhere and scare the hell out of her again.

Leliana

Honestly? Doesn’t mind either. She’s already thinking tactical wise that they could use it. Also finds it very funny whenever you fly by someone and she hears them scream in surprise. Especially when she can hear Solas down below cursing.

Vivienne

Vivienne finds it fascinating, asking what spell you’re using or how long it lasts or if it’s just something that you can do. If you’ll allow it, she actually tries to find the magic behind it. Only thing she can find is a book saying something about a 4th wall breaking, whatever that means.

Varric

He’s surprised, he’ll give you that. Doesn’t really mind it and has somehow found out how to tell when you’re about to fly by him. Has a running joke where, if he’s talking to someone, will say “Incoming!” and then look up as you land. Finds the other’s freakouts funny.

Cole

It’s the usual Cole thing: Questioning how you’re able to do it. He’ll follow you around as much as possible, popping up from roof to roof, turret to turret. You sometimes lose him and he sometimes loses you. Take him flying with you, you’ll make his day.

Solas

How is it even possible for you to do that? In all his years, never was someone able to make themselves fly, especially without wings. He’s trying his hardest to explain it, but he’s failing. Also tries to downplay how loud he yelled when you first did it to him. Doesn’t stop Leliana and Dorian from joking about it.

Cassandra

She can write down telling the Inquisitor “Please stop flying around the guests to introduce yourself” in her book of things she didn’t expect herself to say. Yes, it did indeed scare her the first few times, but now she’s come to expect it. Cassandra disapproves.

The Iron Bull

The loudest of screams. Pretends it didn’t happen. Finds it pretty cool but doesn’t like it that there’s no explanation behind it. You’ve even heard him grumbling “Great, now I’ve got to keep my eyes open to the sky for falling Inquisitors.” The chargers find it funny and will help try to scare him.

Dorian

Most mediocre reaction. The blankest of stares when you flew by calling his name and when you landed all he could do was put his hand on your shoulder and say “That’s wonderful. Please don’t.” You’ll be flying and all he can say is “That’s nice, dear.”

Sera

Another person you need to take flying with you or else she’ll beg you endlessly. Finds it so funny and incredible, laughing whenever she sees you lying randomly. Don’t worry, pranks will ensue if you’re up for it. Just might want to warn certain people not to be outside when pies start falling from the sky.

Blackwall

Hoooooooow? How are you-you know what. Nope, he’s not going to question it. So many weird things happen to you, he should have expected something like this. Hell, he found out because he had been joking about it. “What’s next? You’ll grow wings and fly like a dragon?” The noise he made when you flew straight up.

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callmearcturus · 2 years

Note

*sits very quietly with tea to listen to the Jake Dissertation Presentation*

(Also for a second that text was huge so maybe tumblr is just doing something weird. Karkatifying us to yell about KTWOWL)

lmao fine, okay okay.

so Jake "Abraxas" English is maybe the most complicated character I've ever tried to write. I think in the second Dave POV chapter, someone left a comment about how Jake sounded like he was having a completely different conversation than Dave was, and I responded that yeah that's Jake 24/7. he's always on a different level than the people around him. not a higher level, but a different level.

spoilers are gonna abound below the cut

I'm gonna be annoying and kick this off with a lot of excerpts

First Intermission

"What do you want, Jake?" Dirk asked. The slow spread of his smile made heat flicker in cage of Dirk's ribs. "Everything. Everything, Dirk. What else is there to want?"

ch8: adjudication

"They are…" [Calliope] folded her hands together and leaned in, tucking her chin over them. "They seem much like a monster to me. We had hoped that when their leader retired, they would be… contained. But the bastard heir that's taken over—"

First Intermission

"This is what I made you for, Jake. Just keep in mind these things aren't done by halves. You start this ball rolling, it's not going to stop without crushing some people." "Crushing is the goal. I'm looking forward to the crushing quite a bit, honestly." He leaned over to kiss Jade's cheek. "Thank you, Gran."

ch28: An Audience in the House of Xenon

Jake didn't look up right away, staring at the little silver ball. "Might be best I never know. I put the house on red. Either I've lost the whole thing or I have more of it to look after." "Isn't that rule one? Never put yourself in a position to lose." She came into view with proximity, melting out of the shadows. Her cane tapped very quietly against the dubiously-colored carpet. "That is what I say, isn't it," Jake murmured, picking up the ball and starting it up again.

ch21: Act Three

And on her sofa was the listless fucking heir to the whole empire, reading her books and catnapping, transparently hiding from his grandmother. She allowed this, because it was her job to advise and entertain Jake English, and she was not yet in a position to kill him. That day would doubtlessly come, but it was not today.

Second Intermission

"Says the man who wants everything." "Mhm, I do. That's the worst of it, really, that I do." His smile was wry and… tired. Sleepy-eyed and steam-doused. "She was very thorough. I imagine you know the feeling." "Your grandmother?" "Oh, yes." Jake rubbed his thumb over Dirk's knuckles. "I always fancied myself something of an engineer myself, so I certainly admire her work." "Her work being… you."

coda: mixtape for the rest of your life

"You freak out too?" "More often when I was younger." Jake clasped his hands together. "I've always hated loud noises, though that's faded a bit. Gran dragged me to the shooting range until I got a handle on it." Dave's brow furrowed. "Sounds like ssssome shitty exposure therapy." Jake only shrugged, his smile getting rueful. "It worked. She's always been an efficient sort. From what I've wringed out of Dirk, your father was a similar sort."

ch28: An Audience in the House of Xenon

"There is no backup for you, Jake," Jade told him. Which was something of a surprise to hear. He always imagined she had another stashed away just in case. He was not convinced he was the first one. Once, Rose had snippily asked if Jake had been grown in a vat for just this purpose, his purpose. He had smiled but had not laughed. "Que sera sera." He held the marble between two fingers. In it, the world was inverted.

I'm trying to figure out where to start here.

Paya made this terrible and amazing joke about KTOWL, basically how the Striders were from the puppy mill while Jake was a showdog, and it's such a good way to draw a contrast. The Striders were disposable little weregild-weights for their father to use. But Jake.... Jake was a project.

And Jake is hyper-aware of that. He knows he was engineered. Jade needed someone who could take over Abraxas and stand a chance against the High Table, and Jake had certain natural talents that fit the bill. But he was once just a kid living on his family's island (allegedly) before Jade picked him for the task.

The result was someone who was so devoted to the concept of Abraxas, he has neon in his skin, who is spoken of as synonymous with the outfit, and who well-embodies a monstrous avatar.

Dirk fucking hates his father for everything he did to his kids. Jake talks pretty openly about his grandmother's work, and often admiringly... but not the admiring of a grandson to a parent, but one engineer to another. He knows what was done to create him was... not good, but the resentment and ire is gone from him, the only remnant lingering is the fact that Jake doesn't go to Jade, she goes to him, and when he's able to, he goes and hides from Jade.

If you are going to create someone like Jake, one of the most important things is to ensure they won't turn on you. And Jake will never turn on his grandmother and even does well playing* the doting grandson, seeking her direction.

*Is it playing? Is it performance? Hm.

Jake is someone who sees the potential around him. He knows he can guide Karkat into doing 'good', he sees in Dirk a core that he wants to unearth and rebuild. He even knows that Dave would be a soft power king if he was on the board. But Jake isn't going to try and engineer Dave into anything. He'd much rather fawn over him and keep him well-fucking-away from the actual things Abraxas does.

So here is a thought to consider with Jake. With all this tacit evidence that something horrible was done to him to make him into Abraxas, does he hate his grandmother? Better question: does Jake have the capacity to hate her?

Nope.

I've talked a lot about how Jake sees in Dirk something far underneath his surface, his heart and soul subsumed under layers on concrete, and Jake wants very much to excavate Dirk and to help him become himself again. He pokes and prod Dirk, challenges him, annoys the fuck out of him, all to get that rise, to dust off the silt and rocks, to unearth who the fuck Dirk is under it all.

But with Jake, there is nothing to excavate. If you dig down, you will not find the original Jake English, the teenager on the island that Jade picked out. He is alchemized. Instead, Jake is just a performer. Rose points this out angrily to him, asking why he conceals his intelligence, and Jake treats it (everything) like a game.

Jake is not a good guy, but he cares about specific people. He loves Rose, and sees that she needs someone to be her irritating brother, so he provides that with great enjoyment. With Dirk in his hands, he'll do the same, and to a more subtle degree, he'll guide Karkat.

He would not visit the same fate he endured on someone else.

But also, it cannot be forgotten: Jake's sense of morality is basically non-existent. He thinks in rules, in fair play, in moves. He has internal logic he follows.

.... Does any of this make sense? Jake is the hardest to talk about, I think, because I feel it all emotionally more than anything. He's a charming neon avatar who wants to have it all and is worryingly good at getting it. He is incapable of being upset about being made into a monster, but curiously does not want to inflict the same on anyone else. Isn't that interesting.

If you can't feel anger for what's been done to you, how do you get revenge?

Probably collect a lot of lovely birds and a handsome dancer, and give them what they need, as determined by your nigh-psychic understanding of people.

Anyway. That's Jake. My beloved horny freak, my darling teetotal pharmacist, my maverick showboating flash bastard. /jazzhands

#arquiving #swdktowl #long post

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sakurarisen · 2 years

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Sunflower, zinnia

Botanical Headcanons!

sunflower : what brings your muse the most joy in life ?

Her family,the beach, and seeing people happy and thriving. Sera is always at peace, content, and happy with her family - It’s with them she feels most at ease, and most relaxed. They know how to ease her anxieties and fears, to call them out and counter them and lay her mind at ease... They are warmth and peace. They’re comfort and rest, and to see them happy makes her happy, because it means she’s doing something right, and they enjoy having her around - And they’re leading their best lives.

It’s the same with seeing others happy - The world can be a cruel place, and to see others smiling, truly, fully, brightly smiling? It puts her soul at ease and a smile on her lips, as well. They deserve it (As does she, she’s learning, but she still will put others above herself), and knowing they’re finding happiness brings it to her, too, just as much as seeing kids, families, anyone really making the best of bad situations and never losing their smile - something that brings her hope, as well.

The beach is another one that puts her soul at ease and almost seems to transform her, taking the stresses, strains, and heartaches of life away with the tides. It’s cleansing and peaceful and Sera highly appreciates the sea and its beauty, and is able to spend hours there, just sitting on the sand, watching the tide and the waves, listening to the shoreline and the birds, the sunlight and water on her skin... Letting her sit there for a day can and will utterly transform her, just like letting her sit under the stars and allowing her to babble about the different legends and myths she’s heard in her travels will.

Prior to finding her family, it was others and the beach, same as above, but also geodes, sparkling, beautiful gifts she found once in a blue moon and were the only thing she allowed herself to collect not vital to her survival, as well as the stars.

zinnia : how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ? has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ?

Gonna put this one under a readmore for length, TW for mentions of: Death and abuse/child abuse

Sera’s definitely no stranger to loss. Growing up, she was sheltered by the middle kids of the family, Ami and Takeru - With their parents refusing to be parents, they took to trying to raise Sera in their stead to the point she considers her sister and brother to be far better parental figures than their mother and father ever were. Even under the abuse they faced, they never showed her anything but kindness, protection, and a smile, and on their death beds, expressed concern more for her than themselves. Losing them absolutely shattered Sera, who was only 9 when it happened, and resulted in her withdrawing and trying to rebel. What happened to Ami and Takeru sparked a desire in her to survive, and that’s been a trend that’s continued throughout her life.

Sera wants to honor her lost siblings’ lives in any way she can, and whether or not she’s realized it, they and that desire have been a major factor in her dream. Their kindness is something she’s adopted and there’s situations where she can be much like Ami, trying to diffuse and shield through that kindness, and channels both of her siblings in trying to internalize things while showing a smile to the world. They’re also the reason she sees a lot of things through a childish ‘fairy tale lens’ and has learned to use the stories as a means of understanding situations when nothing else works to help make sense of it - Ami would read her fairy tales and used the book to help try to teach her how to read until she and Takeru fell ill, and they’ve always stuck with her as much as their smiles have.

It’s similar to ‘losing’ @honorisen‘s Zack during the Nibelheim incident; though she knows he’s not gone due to the bond they share, it’s crushing to see the announcement of him being KIA. While she knows he isn’t gone, she has no proof and saying as much sounds ridiculous, and its difficult to not let the pain and heartache of ‘but what if he really is’ break through and settle in. Once more, without realizing it, he’s shaped how she follows her dream and her dream in general; she’s quicker to step n and help people. More impulsive, and by far more blunt in how she does it, though that she’s able to catch herself on and softens within a few months of it beginning (especially on realizing she’s pregnant with Shayan, something else that doesn’t help an unstable mental state). She takes on his name and tries to honor him by continuing his dream and life, and later, teaching their son all about him. Like with Ami and Takeru, his lessons stick with her... But it takes a long time before she’s able to function again.

The difference is that later - losing Zack and the fact it comes with a mention of @warofthebeasts‘ Sephiroth also being supposedly KIA, furthering the pain and heartache with losing a friend who had been a welcome and wonderful companion on top of her fiance - is crushing enough to drive her to nearly lose herself. Though Sera, as an adult/older teen, is able to shape her dream and around honoring them and showing the world who they were as well and how amazing they were, losing her found family is crushing enough to nearly end her, and it’s only Shayan that keeps her going. Without hm, she may have fallen apart into nothingness - A thought she occasionally has that terrifies her.

Add in she’s lost everyone she knows in Midgar when she has to run and knows she can’t come back, with Shinra on her tail, and platefall a few years later destroying Sector 7...

In OG, ultimately Sera never stops. She wants answers. She wants to know how to stop Shinra, and she takes her nights after Shayan’s in bed searching - For Zack, for answers, for a means to stop Shinra... She needs to know and nothing comes of it, resulting in her death in Edge during Deepgrounds’ raid several years later.

In Remake, Sera may have developed issues with paranoia on regaining Zack, but if you look close, you can see where the losses she’s experienced - still including Zack - have shaped her and her dream, and where new lines are made. She’s learned, the hard way, the world is cruel and some people don’t and will never care... But it’s only made her want to see it change for the next generation all the more.

And by Shiva, she will do it.

#Questioning A Flower [Asks]#Annjiru #Colors Of Sakura [Headcanons]#TW: Trauma #TW: Abuse #TW: Death mention #If I missed a TW tag and anyone needs it let me know! More than happy to add that in for you!#Thank you so much for this- <3 #Sera having issues with paranoia is an HC I need to write up at some point - All thank yous to Kasa for helping me see oh snap #That's actually a thing Sera struggles with and I can't believe I didn't make the connection #Especially with also having Cissnei for a muse who also struggles with paranoia?#It took Zack pointing it out in a thread and talking it over with Kasa and another friend of ours to really pick up on it #But yeah - If you look closely you'll see where the losses Sera's experienced have shaped her dream and how she moves forward through life?#Even taking in Yuga is partly because of that? She can't just leave him alone but her heart also goes out to this boy #who's now homeless and lost everything much like she did #And it's not fair - For him or anyone else #Lowkey she tries to help them live on through her and that's a common theme with Sera #Carrying their dreams alongside her own and trying to keep their memory alive in any way she can #While honoring #and passing down their memory as well #Sera's been through a LOT and it shapes her so much and I love that?#But I will note she can't lose her found family - It'll destroy her #Which is where that paranoia comes in #Part of why she has to deal with that borderline hatred of fighting and learn to do so better - For them #And I love my girl so much TWT #In this essay I will-#I can seriously talk like this for hours-

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midday0nightmares · 3 years

Photo

14 - painless.

previous chapter like father, like son.

m.list.

tw - angst, kidnapping, mental health, blood, drugs, non-con.

*this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

“I hate you.. “

He responds with an annoyed sigh..

you simmered through out the ride, your unwell condition exaggerating your emotions..

the car pulled in the underground parking lots, as soon as he unlocks the doors you throw the teddy bear at him hitting his face..

You bolt out the car starching your steps as wide as you can, He stalks behind you, thanks to his long legs he mange to reach the elevator door before you.. the lifeless stuffed toy in his hand..

He steps I first and you follow him.. you lean on the cold steal walls of the elevator, finding solace in it’s coolness against your hot body..

You stomp to the apartment door and cross your arms huffing while he opens the door.. he lets you walk in first

When you step in you attempt to slam the door in his face.. but your pity attempt fails as he catches the door before it closes.

You were testing your limits with him.. even though you know you should quite before he snaps, you continue

You kick the ridiculous crocks shoes he had given you earlier and storm off to his room, this time successfully slamming the door..

you took of the hoodie and threw it on the floor remaining in a thin t-shirt, a pitifully announcing your rebliouling ..

you flopped on his bed, your bottom lip quivering.. the anger turned into frustration that could be only be expressed with tears.. tears you don’t want to cry any more, tears you don’t want to show any more..

You expected him to follow you, to shout, to beat you.. anything, but he doesn’t.

After you’ve calmed down.. you reflect and you think you may have overreacted..

It’s 3:53 am .. it’s almost morning, you’ve given up on today.. you lay to sleep your frustration away..

Days have passed with you keeping your distance, and due to your unwell condition they have allowed you your space..

Days turns over in waste.. another tools over, a bitter taste stronger than ever before blooms in your mouth greats you as you open your eyes to the new day.. a heavy sadness resides inside of you, weighing your limbs down..

You feel empty, a shell of human.. mentally drained, you try to push through it..

You get up to an empty apartment.. the clock reads 11:48 am, they should be at work right now..

You open the fridge looking for something to appease you.. cereal and milk,

Jaemin’s blanket folded neatly over the couch next to it was the teddy bear he bought you.. still sitting in it’s place since that night..

You feel embarrassed for your childish actions.. your heart squeeze in guilt, dose he even sleep?

You finish your sweet breakfast and take your temperature.. it reads 37, you follow with the last round of your meds..

With n nothing to occupy it, your mind wonders to him.. to his warm embrace, it was all you could think about..

You overcome your pride and lay on the couch, in the same spot he sleeps on.. you wrap yourself with his blanket..

you lie to yourself and pretend you only did it because you are too lazy to walk back to his room..

You doze off once you were content with the warmth that surrounded you..

You jolt up and scrambling to put the blanket to the it’s original form before they get back and see you clinging to jaemin’s blanket..

You know you shouldn’t indulge yourself in him.. it’s not healthy, he’s deeply disturbed man, you shouldn’t.. but only this time.

Another week comes and goes with no events..

the calmness feels uneasy, a nagging feeling in you keeps you on guard..

One of those boring evenings, that you usually spend hiding in jaemin’s room reading whatever book is available, started taking a steep turn when you hear your name being called..

You pounder whether to answer it or ignore it..

You walk out the room turning the corner to the open space of the living room to see three men seated around the couch..

jaemin, jeno and an unfamiliar face that rings alarms in you.. the air smells like alcohol, three pair of dark eyes staring at you..

“is that her?” The stranger asks.. oilgning you

“come closer.. he’s not gonna bite you” jeno says in an upbeat tone.. his face is flushed red, side effects of being intoxicated..

“Your dad has a great taste ..” The stranger nudges jaemin who remains eerily quite..

“Come here..” Jeno pats the space next to him..

and against your better judgment you take one step closer, jeno grabs your wrist.. you dig in your heals and try to free your arm..you struggle against jeno’s strength before the stranger man speaks again ..

“oh jeno don’t hurt the pretty girl.. let het go” he humors jeno .. and they both laugh..

The stranger stand, his hight stretches above you..he’s not as built as jeno but you can tell you have already lost against him, he comes closer to you, sister look in his eyes..

“Hey .. my name is haechan, what’s yours sweetheart?”..

His right hand stretched to shake yours you look at it with disgust..

His hand retreat to fall to his side, his young poking the inner side of his cheek.. he turns to look at jaemin, who was quietly watching the interaction, cool and seemingly relaxed he sips on his whisky and nod giving an approval..

Feeling of dread crept up to your stomach.. your heart beats loud in your ears, your mind begins to cloud with fear..

Haechan turns to you, his hand shamlessly blaming his crotch.. your eyes wiedding in shock cracking jeno into a laughter.

He strides towards you like an animal cornering it’s prey,

“Stay away from me!” You bark at him with no intimidation,

Amused jeno warns “carful she scratches” ..

Your attempt to run was intercepted by jeno’s arms.. he catches you and lock you in his arms, you twist and struggle in his hold.. “let me go!”

but your weak fight makes them laugh even more than before ..

“You have been bad sera..” Jeno whispers in your ear..

“Jaemin .. jaemin please!” You plead to him..

but he remains non responsive to your pleads..

“Just go with sera.. it will be much easier “ ..

Jaemin finally spoke, his words shattering you.. Your eye well up with hot tears blurring your vision.. you still in disbelief, haechan turns to open his back bag, reaching for something, You desperately try to free yourself.. when haechan returns with a needle in his hand, you start kicking and screaming..

jeno grabs your left arm and straighten it and Hacehan .. they overpower you and hold you still while Hacehan inserts the needle in your arm emptying it’s contents into your blood stream.. jeno lets you go and the room goes silent except for heavy breathing..

jaemin’s cold eye watch as the horrific scene unfolds..

The hot substance burns through your veins.. your fast heartbeat stumbles as it slows down, your body slowly relaxes and the stress evaporates as warmth takes it’s place..

All of worries and pains start to evaporates.. the room spins around you, limps heaving, eyes loses it’s focus, you collapse but it’s euphoric..

You lay in pleasure you have never felt before.

Everything feels like a lucid dream.. being carried.. rough hands undressing you.. unfamiliar body against your.. “Shh don’t cry” wet mouth kissing your neck.. “Don’t worry.. I’ll be gentle..” whispered in your ear..

you keep falling in a bottomless hole, hours of your life goes missing, faint memories remains to remind you that you will always be the only victim of this war.

#nct yandere #nct mafia au #nct dream yandere #nct reactions #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct blurbs #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct agnst #nct angst

188 notes · View notes

saintobio · 3 years

Note

okay so ch8 hurt a lot more than i thought and i’m actually trying not to cry for multiple reasons and like i’m nervous and so heartbroken for y/n bc she is actually traumatized and that the possibility of sera getting pregnant is a possibility and is it bad i think i’m numb from angst??? like this is probably the heaviest angst i’ve ever read and idk like sometimes my mood is like up and down constantly bc of this series (i promise this isnt an attack) and i think now i just kinda want to take a depression nap but i’m so hurt for y/n bc i think i relate to her a lot to the point to where its scary sometimes like trying to keep the peace to not rock the boat too much really hits home and so does honestly having to bottle everything up at the sake of your own sanity. also i’m so upset bc y/n doesnt even know that gojo actually rawdogged his mistress out of spite afterwards bc she passed out from the distress of arguing and basically losing her patience and i feel like she might blame herself for that when gojo was in the wrong (the raw sex) and honestly she deserves better and at this point i’m rambling so ill stop

damn this was long asf either way i suck at expressing myself but i’ll try harder next time :\

more below

Anonymous said

i just finished reading chapter 8 and i feel completely broken. im literally crying and shaking and had to take a pause. i wanted to mention how me and y/n have thalassophobia. also… i knew it. sera is such a manipulative bitch. how dare she say the things that she says when she. is. the. mistress?!! she must want her life to be harder than it is bc just like y/n said in the eyes of society -even if to her and him she was first (she wasnt)- she is gonna be a whore. someone like gohoe’s stepmom. using him just to climb up. gojoe is such a stupid ass bitch. i literally lost feelings for him today just like y/n. how dare he get mad when he knows the shit him and his mom went through inside a marriage like that. the mf came inside sera’s stupid ass too. im glad geto said something. im so happy his friends are mad at him. im glad to know they wasn’t okay with this situation in the first place but were trying to be good friends. gojoe is so stupid omg. i was literally crying the whole time. funny of him thinking that no one else would fuck us aside from him as if toji wasn’t there and as if he didn’t get jealous over the way guys were looking at y/n. tbh, idc if they end up together or not. im a hard simp for gojo but this is a story where i wouldn’t mind it at all if y/n doesn’t end up with him. what a mf. i understand that he has gone through stuff but the way he treats y/n has no excuse!! like literally no excuse. i feel bad for what he goes through but he is just taking it out on her. im sorry if this doesn’t make sense but i’m still going through the emotional pain of this chapter. poor y/n.

Anonymous said

Well that chapter was… really something else. My heart was hurting for y/n the whole time. However, I’m so happy that y/n finally voiced her feelings about everything Gojo’s put her through, I can’t even be that upset with her for throwing his mother leaving back in her face. And sera’s bitch ass brings out the most violent of tendencies within my soul, with her fake niceness and bitchiness. I hope karma hits her like a freight train, her having a prior relationship with Gojo in no way excuses this bullshit behavior of hers. Please tell me she doesn’t end up with Gojo, even if Gojo and y/n don’t end up together, she doesn’t deserve it or even him at this point. I’m glad that Geto and Shoko stood up for her the whole time and made bora bora more bearable, but Gojo just needs Jesus and therapy. Until then, Toji x y/n ❤️

Anonymous said

I am so excited for the future chapters. Can't wait for gojou to get a taste of his own medicine. I was rereading the earlier chapters and oof the things he said and did to mc hit even harder. I really don't know how anyone can move past the trauma and pain he inflicted on her. I don't know what the general consensus is among all the readers, but at this point I really REALLY want mc to find happiness and I don't think gojou is it 😔 It goes without saying though that we would absolutely love anything you decide to do plotwise. Thanks for the update! Please remember to take care of your health and please don't feel pressured to update if it interferes with your life and health. We are not going anywhere:))

Anonymous said

I have no words just that wow, you did an amazing job, i am speechless, SN is becoming my fav fic ever, I- i don't know what to say...You re such a talented writer, thank you for this chapter. THANK UUUUUU

but okay,,,,FUCK SERA AND GOJO THO FUCK THEM BOTH.I CAN'T STAND SERA BITCH ILL DROWN YOU.As for Gojo,,,I FEEL SO BAD CAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING HATE HIM I WANT HIS REDEMPTION ARC IM SO SORRY Y'ALL CAN HATE ME FOR THIS;((((((

this was incredible, very excited for whats coming, i fully trust you, my heart is in your hands do what you want with it SKKSKS take care of yourself and stay hydrated!!! MWA BIG KITH - 🍬

( manifesting Gojo's infertility)

Anonymous said

sera fr gonna babytrap gojo huh...

gosh i wish them the worst. im so glad the bestest person ever y/n finally decided to tell what she actually feels about their messed up situation, like you go girl i will hold your purse, show them who's the boss. and if there are sera and gojo apologists out there, why? please i knew sera was fucking suspish even back then and the audacity to come at y/n like that, gosh makes my blood boil fr. sometimes i wish y/n doesn't play by the rule and straight up be mean and put sera and gojo on a lot of blocklist so at least the thing sera moaning about how selfish y/n be comes true. pull the strings and show badass you are, y/n, maximize your power as an heiress. do it for capitalism! /j. Y/N CORRUPTION ARC WHEN!!

Anonymous said

OH SHIT IDK FUCK UHM FUCK I JUST FINISHED THE CHAPTER I WOKE UP AT 4AM FOR THIS I SET AN ALARM ON GOD AND ITS FUCKING BREAKING ME OMYGHOD JWDISISJAIXJAIDJW FUCKING SATORU MAN HE DIDNT FUCKING PULL OUT FAST ENOUGH IM GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, HIS SEEDS BETTER BE SLOWING THE FUCK DOWN

but fuck i love him too much fr fr, anyways on the other note i love Ieiri and getou so much if i could only bitch slap sera the fuck out of this world i would've

and to think i gave that bitch the benefit of the doubt cause it make sense for her to hurt and be with gojo even after he got married since they were together initially but bitch IMMA CLAMP THE FUCK OUT OF HER FACE IF HE DOES NOT STAY ON HER FUCKING LANE SHE OUT HERE TESTING MY FUCKING PATIENCE ON GOD

i super love and adore ur writing btw hehe

Anonymous said

OMG CH:8 has mee so livid istg I can’t even explain. YES!!! Y/n out here finally standing up for herself and slapping tf out of Hoejo, and the whole “your mom” thing I CACKLED ALDOSWBDO it was so mean yet deserving like

I love the realization for both Getou and Shoko they both finna drop Hoejo and get a new bestie bc gurl they are not for it😩

correct me if I’m wrong but you said said gojo decided to pull out of Sera, but it was “the rest” of it…. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT HE ACTUALLY C*ME in her😮😮😮

Bc if that’s the case and point

Sera’s whole “if I have his baby then imma have him too.” crap is end game.

But anways I loved this chapter! It was a sad read but I can’t wait for the reverse role arc!

hello edit response later when my headspace isn’t 📉 thank u to everyone who submitted asks ai needs some rest for now 😭

#saintobio.asks #series: sincerely not

71 notes · View notes

mayraki · 3 years

Text

✧ chapter two: the missing girl - b. barnes x oc series ✧

-> lost-shoe’s gif

‘let’s play fire with fire’ series masterlist

my masterlist

summary: sera has to deal with the consequences of helping sam and bucky while still trying to get used to being a part of a team. and bucky finds himself not wanting her to be alone.

FEEDBACK IS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! :)

“So... control fire, huh?” Bucky asked when the silence became unbearable between him and Sera.

She turned to him while her arms where across her chest and she was comfortably sitting on the seat next to Bucky. “What?”

“I’m just- trying to be nice.”

“You literally saw me back there. You know is fire. Is like if I went ‘hey, metal arm?’” She rolled her eyes and went back to staring out the window.

“We definitely started with the wrong foot. Maybe if we just-”

“That’s not gonna work.” She cut him off. “And, wrong foot? You literally accused me of wanting you two dead!”

“That’s why I was trying to be nice!”

“Then don’t! Being nice clearly isn’t helping.”

“Fine! I won’t be nice.” He said loudly trying to keep his full attention on the road ahead of him, but the girl next to him didn’t seem to let him. “Torch.” He said under his breath but loud enough for her to hear him.

“Screwdriver.” She said in the same tone dropping herself more into her seat and leaving her head to rest on the back of the seat.

Even if she didn’t want to talk to Bucky, the silence surrounding them was making it even more awkward than the situation already was. So turning to the side looking for something to do or say, Sera let out a tiny smile when her eyes noticed the button to turn on the radio.

“Don’t turn it on.” Bucky said immediately once he noticed her fingers going towards the car’s controllers.

“Why not?”

“The music is not good.”

“What? You don’t like modern music?”

“Yes I do.”

“Then why I can’t turn on the radio?”

“Just don’t.”

“Damn. Do you ever smile?”

“When I throw that bucket of water on you I will.” Sera let out a tiny fake laugh and then nodded.

“Never smile and not funny, what a deal, huh?”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

“News for me.” As soon as she said that Bucky moved uncomfortably on his seat and grabbed the wheel with his two hands and that made Sera look at the metal arm in the other side of Bucky’s body. She bit her lower lip staring at it since a million of questions were flying around her mind. It was the first time she was in the presence of a super soldier and let alone someone that had a vibranium arm. So curiousity was her main feeling in that moment. “Can you take it off?” She asked without breaking her sight from Bucky’s arm but since Bucky didn’t look at her, he furrowed his eyebrows confused.

“What?”

“Can you take the arm off?” Sera repeated. Bucky did a quick look at her but then went back at the road. People’s eyes staring at his arm wound usually make him uncomfortable or just don’t like it, but not with her. He found himself liking his arm under them.

“Yes I can.”

“And do you take if off to sleep?”

“No, I don’t.”

Sera tilted her head sideways to have a better look at it, which made Bucky let out a tiny grin. “Isn’t it uncomfortable?”

“I got used to it.”

Sera nodded. “Nice.”

“And you, do you get burn when you do.... that?”

“No. I can’t get burn.” A little laugh escaped her lips after watching Bucky struggle with his words, it was clear that he never been next to someone like Sera and he didn’t know what to say about it, or even what to think in that moment that he got her full attention. And Sera noticed it.

“With any type of fire of just the one that you... do?”

“Any type of fire. Is this weird to you?”

“What? No.” Bucky shook his head after looking at Sera who was exploring every detail on Bucky’s face.

Sera shrugged her shoulder. “Seems like it.” Sera looked Bucky up and down licking her lips enjoying the feeling of having Bucky on the palm of her hand. He did seem like the tough kind of guy, maybe he was, but there was a part of him that made him the softest guy ever. And Sera wanted to see more of that guy. “Does the serum affects... you know?” Sera moved her hand over her lower stomach but Bucky looked at her confused, not understanding.

“Does it affect what?”

“You know...” She moved her hands in the same position but quicker than before.

“No I don’t know.”

“YOU KNOW-” Wanting Bucky to understand she pointed repeatedly to her crotch area while a smile appeared on her face as soon as she saw Bucky’s eyes go wide open as soon as he understood.

“Oh my, no!” He shook his head.

“Really? Have you tested it?” She moved her body to the side to be more closer to his face.

“And you care because?” Bucky let out a smile and then bit his lower lip while doing a quick look to Sera by her side.

“Always wanted to know! Common things everyone wonders.”

“I don’t think everyone wonders.”

Sera quickly nodded. “Oh, yes, everyone does.”

“Really?”

“Yes!” She let her hand hold her head to be even more to closer to him, as closer as the car was letting her. “So....? have you tested it?”

“No!”

“Then how do you know it doesn’t work!? Have you even had your first kiss since 1940?”

“I-” Bucky wanted to answer but his tongue seemed to have twisted itself. It was a reality of him not kissing anyone since he came back, it wasn’t like he had the time to hang out with someone enough for that, he had been dealing with big things since he gain his head back. And he wasn’t ashamed of it, but for some reason, admitting it to Sera didn’t sound like something he wanted to do.

“Oh, you haven’t?” She asked once she understood his silence.

Bucky let out a tiny laugh and then shook his head confused. “How did we get into this topic?”

“No judgement here! Not at all. Just wondering, you know?” Sera let out a proud smile knowing that she accomplished what she wanted and sat down normally on her seat but without breaking her sight from Bucky. He did seem to notice but he kept his mouth shut, waiting for her to talk again. “I made you smile.” She said softly.

“Annoy me. That’s what you did.”

A loud laugh escaped her mouth as she let her head rest on the back of her seat. “That’s even better.”

Bucky shook his head but he couldn’t help but let out a smile. He did a quick look at Sera and noticed that her eyes were now closed and it gave him a little wave of relaxation over his body, but when he went back to the road and noticed a group of people standing outside Sera’s apartment building, it all went back to normal.

“What’s that?” He asked as he was getting closer and the people became more clearer.

Sera quickly opened her eyes and got her face closer to the front window of the car, trying to see more if she could make a sense of the whole situation. But when the car was now a couple of feet away and the entire building was now visible, Sera’s stomach twisted as her heart started to beat faster.

“Oh my God... Angela.”

>>>

“That’s my apartment! You have to let me in!”

Sera’s loud voice could be heard from miles, even if the smoke coming out of the building and the people talking around them covered their entire surroundings. The man at the entrance had made Sera take steps back after seeing her with the intention to walk into the building with no hesitation. With a strange look, the man gently grabbed Sera by the arm and stopped her from getting sucked into the dark smoke and horribly damaging her lungs from it, but that didn’t seem to had bothered her at all. Not even a single muscle on her face let others know that she was a couple of centimetres away from a strong smoke, and that lead to some talking about Sera and her strange desire to enter the building on fire.

“Ms! That apartment is on fire! I can’t let you go inside!” The man yelled trying to keep Sera back. Noticing this, Bucky stepped towards Sera and gently grabbed her arm, preventing her from doing something bad in front of all those people.

“My friend was in there! Can you at least tell me if she’s alright?!” Sera yelled more loudly than before losing her patience, while ignoring Bucky’s hand on her arm.

“We don’t have information from anyone on the inside so please, move aside and let the men work.”

As soon as Sera heard those words she let out a word Bucky couldn’t fully understand but knew that it was a bad one for the way she said it. She stepped back while looking to her apartment and the smoke coming out of it. Biting her lower lip she looked down at Bucky and let out a tiny sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, let the men work my ass. Fuck that!”

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked as she walked passed him trying to leave him behind, but not getting an answer from her got him even more worried about her and her next mysterious actions.

She had quick feet but so did Bucky, so right behind her he followed her to a dark alley right next to her building. Even if it wasn’t far from everyone, the noise and the smoke didn’t seem to get to where Bucky and Sera found themselves to be. Until Sera quickly opened a black door and smoke immediately came out of it.

Without questioning it, Bucky followed Sera once she stepped inside the building full of smoke and hot air. It seemed like she knew where she was since she didn’t even stop to check where she had to turn or if she had to keep going. Her quick steps were becoming a little bit blind to Bucky since the smoke was starting to become thicker and bigger and deeper as they were getting into the building, but anything like that didn’t seem to bother Sera at all.

The long walk that Bucky was having with Sera in front of him didn’t seem to ever end, until the place became more brighter but more hotter as soon as the hallway turned into a room filled with firemen working to turn off the fire still growing inside.

“Ms! You shouldn’t be in here!” A fireman said as soon as he layed his eyes on her but not hearing at word he was saying, Sera walked passed him and walked through he fire that was hiding the hallway to her apartment. “How did she-” the man said turning to Bucky surprised but he just let out a tiny smile and patted his arm.

“Don’t ask questions, just keep working.” He said before nodding and following Sera, leaving the poor fireman confused at his own thoughts and what his eyes just saw.

It didn’t took Bucky long to find Sera again since he remembered the way towards her apartment. With quick steps he managed to walk by her side as she was moving the little flames out of her way without moving a finger.

“There’s no need for you to be here, Bucky. You should go.” Sera said without taking her eyes away from the way in front of her. “Go, Bucky.” She said firmly noticing that he wasn’t turning back, completely ignoring her words.

“Like I’m going to do what you say. I’m not afraid of a little fire.” He said and Sera let out a loud sigh but not a single word came out her mouth after that since the door to her apartment was now in front of her. Noticing that she didn’t have her keys or anything that could open the door for her, she was ready to step up and knock the door down. But Bucky stopped her.

“I got it.” He said but Sera just rolled her eyes and before he could move another muscle from his body, her foot was already on the door kicking it to the floor.

“I got it too.” She said before stepping inside and quickly moving her eyes side to side, trying to find something that could tell her that her friend wasn’t there.

As soon as they were both inside they both noticed that the fire definitely started there on Sera’s apartment. The flames were bigger than the ones outside and the smoke was starting to get into Bucky’s eyes, but ignoring it completely he tried to follow Sera around the apartment.

“Angela! Angela!” Sera started yelling but then suddenly stopped when something else caught her eye. Bucky followed her with his eyes as she was slowly getting closer to the table on the side of her living room. Not taking her sight from it, she moved her hand and grabbed a little piece of paper that didn’t seem to be affected by the fire around it at all.

“What does it say?” Bucky asked when he noticed her eyes transforming.

As soon as those eyes were finished reading the words on that tiny paper Bucky saw how they started to turn red like the fire living and growing surrounding them.

“Good luck on getting your friend back, dear. -J.” She said firmly and with anger on her voice. Seconds later, the note turned into flames and disappeared into the hot air. “That asshole!”

Her loud voice seemed to have shaken the entire building since Bucky felt the walls moving along side her voice. He looked around him and to the ceiling to find it becoming weaker and weaker as the seconds were passing

“We need to get out of here, Sera.” He said looking around making sure nothing was going to fall on top of Sera’s head, because she didn’t seem to care about the building falling apart on top of her.

As soon as Sera locked eyes with Bucky he felt the fire going through his veins. Those red eyes felt like they were burning every single muscle he had on his body. “She’s gone and it’s all your fault!”

“You don’t know that she’s gone!” Bucky yelled once the fire was becoming stronger around Sera. The redness on her skin looked like she had glowing sticks inside of her, slow flames were coming out her body as she was eating the fire around her while making it even more stronger, but she didn’t seem to care since her full attention was on the man there with her.

“I know is your fault!”

“Sera, calm down! We need to get out here!”

“If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be involved in this mess and Angela would’ve been safe!”

Another noise of the walls breaking and shaking next to them. It felt like the whole building was going to become apart at any second, and it was all because of Sera.

“Sera! The roof is coming apart!”

“Yes, Bucky! That’s what fire does! It breaks everything apart! Everything that comes its way it destroys it!” Each word seemed like a bomb to their surroundings. Sera was now the biggest fire in the entire building and Bucky knew that, so trying to get to her and calm her down he stepped to get closer and gently grabbed her arm ready to pull her out of there. But as soon as his hand touched her arm the burning sensation hit his skin and that made him take a step back in pain and locked eyes with her, ignoring the feeling of his hand coming apart.

“What?! Afraid of a little fire?!” Sera yelled once she noticed the surprise and shook on Bucky’s eyes.

Before Bucky could say anything else, he looked up when the noise of the ceiling coming apart every second. He could see how the material was slowly breaking and going down towards their bodies. Bucky, looking down ready bring his body next to Sera he locked eyes with her and moved his arm to the side, but like a slow motion movie, Sera let out a loud scream as the fire was coming out go her body and in the process, moving the breaking ceiling out of their way. Bucky lifted his metal arm ready to feel the burning on his skin as the fire was surrounding him, but for his surprise, he didn’t feel a thing. And that’s when he noticed, the fire was hitting everything; expect for him and Sera.

Seconds later, he stopped feeling the hot air and the sound of fire growing next to him. When Sera dropped to her knees he noticed that there was no fire around him anymore. The sound of the walls stopped and the ceiling was no longer breaking, instead, silence surrounded them for the first time in a while. Sera was now back to normal but with tears dropping down her cheeks. Bucky hesitated, but then walked closer to her and kneeled down to wrap her around his arms, making sure his metal arm wasn’t hurting her. Now there was no fire around them, no smoke, no hot air, no ceiling or walls breaking next to them. Just a broken Sera knowing that her friend was in danger and she couldn’t stop it, and Bucky knowing exactly how she felt.

>>>

“I’m sorry, Sera.” That was the only thing Bucky felt like saying when him and Sera were finally out of the building and next to their car. She was leaning over the door while looking down, it seemed like her mind was somewhere else but Bucky didn’t care, his words came out without his brain thinking them. “I truly am.” He said softly trying to get her eyes to look at him, He she wasn’t moving. Until, after a couple of seconds, she moved away from the car and from Bucky with decisive steps. “Where are you going?”

“You need to make sure Sam is fine, and I’ll go back to where Jackson used to work.” She said without stopping.

“Why?”

“Because maybe they were stupid enough to leave things behind. I’ll find something.”

“Are you sure?” He asked louder since she was further away, and noticing that he wasn’t going to get any answer, he started walking towards her. “I’m going with you.”

“No,” Sera said firmly without looking at Bucky “I’m going alone.” Feeling Bucky’s presence still next to her, she looked at him while letting out a loud sigh. “Didn’t you heard me?”

“Oh, I heard you perfectly.” Bucky nodded. “I just chose to ignore it.”

Sera stopped walking and grabbed his metal arm immediately feeling the cold hitting her skin. Being something that she wasn’t used to, she quickly let it go. “Bucky-”

“No. You’re right. You’re in the mess because Sam and I brought you into this. I wanna help.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Well you’re going to get it anyway, so let’s go.” Bucky started walking but then stopped when she didn’t follow him.

“Being older than me doesn’t mean that you can order me around, you know?”

“I am 106 years old. That has to mean something.”

“Yes,” Sera moved her feet to pass Bucky “that you’re old as fuck.”

“Ouch.”

“Yes, ouch indeed.” She quickly started walking away but being as fast as her, he catched her with ease. “Bucky- go back and make sure Sam is ok.”

“He’s probably sleeping right now.”

“He needs to know what’s going on.”

“You’ll tell him when we go back to the apartment. Let’s go.”

Sera looked at Bucky with an eyebrow raised. “We?”

“Yes, we. Is a pretty easy word to understand.”

Once again, Sera stopped not wanting Bucky to follow her. Copying what she was doing, he stopped in front of her and crossed his arms around his chest.

“Like I told you before, you’re not funny. And I’m not coming back with you.”

“Well, we can discuss it later because now, you” He pointed at her while his other hand took the car keys out of his back pocket and waved them in front of Sera’s face “need a ride.”

“I can fly, remember?”

“You’re going to fly all the way there? Isn’t it going to be very tiring? It’s such a waste of time.” Sera rolled her eyes while letting out a long sigh and tilting her head backwards, realising that Bucky was right. “Let’s go, Sera.” He said in a loud whisper enjoying his win.

“This is going to be the last time you’re right.” Sera said without looking at him once she started going back to the car, not wanting to see the arrogant smile on his face.

”We’ll see.”

>>>

The sound of papers flying and drawers being opened was the only thing Sera and Bucky could hear the moment they both stepped inside that red room. For their surprise, the place wasn’t empty like they imagined it, even worse, it was all burned down. Every furniture, every paper, every little wall decoration was now to laying on the groun while a little smoke were coming out of it.

“Fuck! There’s nothing here!” Sera yelled throwing the last piece of paper the last drawer had inside. She let out a long frustrated sigh while trying to look around for something she hadn’t seen before.

“They literally made sure to burn everything to the ground.” Bucky bit his lower lip doing the same as Sera, but there was nothing else there that could potentially have any information. So Sera frustrated, turned to the door and without waiting for Bucky she left the room leaving traces of smoke behind her.

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked as he was trying to catch her.

“They like to play with fire, but so do I.”

“What are going to do? There’s nowhere left for us to look.”

“I don’t know!”

“We need a plan!”

“There’s that we again.” Sera stopped angrily making Bucky face her as soon as he stopped as well. Being behind her the quick movement she made to face him ended up with him being a couple centimetres from her face, almost feeling the hot air coming out of her mouth against his skin.

“Yes, we, Sera. As much as we need you, now you need us, so we need to stay together.” Bucky was starting to get frustrated at the whole situation, his loud tone was showing it but Sera didn’t seem to care about that at all, she just shook her head annoyed at Bucky’s words.

“I don’t need anybody.” She said firmly getting closer to his face without realising. Even if the hallway they were in had nothing but the light that was coming through the front door, they could see all the details from each other’s faces. They closeness made the other feel every little air that their noses were throwing out, mixing them together every time.

“That’s what you think.”

“No, that’s what I know.”

As each word was said, their tones became more firmly than the one before. Even if they felt the anger and frustration growing inside of them, knowing that the fight wasn’t over, they both went completely silent when their eyes finally connected to each other. Even though their eyes were locked since the fight started, they weren’t paying attention to what the they were saying. As soon as she saw those dark eyes under the poor light she felt the electricity she would often have when looking at Bucky. The blood in her veins started to move faster since she felt her skin burning, but she didn’t move at all. Her feet seemed to have glued themselves to the ground not wanting to leave Bucky behind and keep staring at those blue eyes. For the first time since they met, there was no words that wanted to come out of their mouths. They were no anger or frustration inside of them, just growing sadness ready to explode.

There was no noise around them, just the sound of their breathing. It felt like they been staring at each other for too long, when Bucky felt the need to end the space between them and wrap Sera around with his arms. Looking at her eyes and seeing the sadness and pain in them made him feel like he was in front of a mirror, like he was seeing his eyes on Sera. Those mysterious eyes were showing the same things Bucky would usually see in himself a long time ago.

Before he could say anything else or even think another thought, Sera closed her eyes and tensed her jawline ready to leave the dark hallway and those ugly thoughts on her mind behind. She moved to the side and turned around to walk towards the door with decisive and quick steps. A part of Sera wanted Bucky to follow her, keep talking and go back to normal, but he didn’t. He kept still looking down trying to find the perfect words to say next.

“I used to think the same thing, Sera.” He said softly but it was enough for her to hear him. His tone made her stop what she was doing and close her eyes while letting out a long sigh. “But now I have a partner and I’m good. Better than I’ve been in a long time.” Sera didn’t expect it but those words hit her differently than anything else Bucky had ever said to her. She felt the tears fighting to come out but she tried her hardest to keep them in place, not wanting to break down in front of Bucky. “You think you don’t need anyone but in reality you do. You can’t do this alone.”

As soon as he said those words she felt the burning anger inside of her. All those people on her past telling her what to do or how to act, keeping her like their pet or even weapon on their hands, those words brought them back. She knew that Bucky wasn’t the same, and he wasn’t doing what those people did, but something inside of her clicked moving away every single feeling she was having inside of her seconds ago.

She turned around and locked eyes with Bucky who was already looking at her. “Watch me.” She said firmly and without waiting for an answer, she turned around and walked through the door.

Bucky let out an angry sigh and followed her with quick steps starting to feel the frustration even bigger inside of him. “Alright!” He yelled angrily the moment he pushed the door to walk outside. “What’s your new plan now, genius? Huh? What is your master plan now that you plan to do it alone?”

“She had a date.” Sera said without stopping while hearing Bucky’s steps right behind her. “And the date was at the same hour that the fire happened so I’m going to see if that asshole is involved.”

“How do you know? Maybe he left after she didn’t answered her phone.”

“I don’t know. That’s what I’m gonna find out. It’s weird that at the same hour she had a date the whole apartment turns into flames.”

“Yeah, it is a little weird. And what do you plan to do with that information?” Not getting an answer back from her, Bucky let out a fake laugh and started yelling his next words even more frustrated. “Do you know his name? His address? Where he used to work? Anything? Do you know anything?!”

“I don’t know, Bucky! I don’t fucking know!” Sera turned around quickly to face Bucky. “Agh!” She yelled annoyed covering her face with her hands trying to calm herself down as Bucky was getting closer to her, ending up a right in front of her face.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you! Let’s do this together. You get your friend to safety and we get those assholes, we all win.”

“Why do you want me with you anyway?” She spitted out uncovering her face quickly to lock eyes with Bucky, but he didn’t answer immediately. He just stared at her while her jaw tensed and those eyes penetrating her soul like he wanted to know every little secret she was hiding.

Before Sera could feel the same electricity she felt before, Bucky took a step closer to her and added more softly than before. “Because I know what is like to care about someone and if something bad happens... it’s in you.” Those words felt deeper than Bucky intended them to. Yes, they were as true as the next words coming out from his mouth but saying it someone that he met not even a day ago wasn’t Bucky at all. Trusting a person new so fast and easy wasn’t what he was used to doing, not after him not being able to trust his own mind. But for some reason, saying those words to Sera didn’t make him uncomfortable, instead, he felt the same as he was talking to Steve. Like those old times he loves and misses so much. But this time, Sera being the one in front of him. “Working together is going to give all of us an advantage, we all have something to bring to the table and it’s going to have a better result. You want to find your friend as fast as possible, right?” Sera nodded. “Then let’s do it. I’ll go to the car, if you come that means you’re with us. If you don’t... then I won’t bother you anymore.”

As soon as Bucky left her side she knew what she wanted to do. What was the right decision, and that Bucky was right even if it felt hard to think about. She hated it, but if she wanted to find her friend safe, she needed to do it with Bucky and Sam.

“I remembered something.” She said and that made Bucky stop and let out a tiny smile as soon as he heard those words coming out of her mouth. “And it can help us get more information about the guy.”

Not hearing her walk towards the car, Bucky turned to Sera and nodded slowly. “Then let’s catch the asshole who did this, shall we?”

>>>

“Angela told me that he works at a coffee shop three blocks away from our apartment.” Sera said when she had Sam’s full attention.

They were all standing in the living room as Sam was sitting down on the couch, still trying to take it easy since the side of his stomach wasn’t fully recovered. Bucky and Sera were standing in front of him trying to catch Sam on everything that went down in a matter of hours.

“Very coincidental.” Sam said looking at Bucky which he nodded agreeing.

“Very.”

Sam turned to Sera who had her arms across her chest while her foot was going up and down repeatedly on the ground. “And you really think he’s involved?”

“I- maybe. I’m not sure.”

“Well, it’s something that we could start on.” Sera nodded and before anyone could let out another word, she turned around towards the door ready to leave the apartment behind.

“Ok, let’s go.” She said but when she noticed nobody was following her, she went back to Sam and Bucky who were staring at her confused.

“Where?” Bucky asked.

“To the coffee shop.” She answered immediately.

“Sera, is almost midnight.” Sam said pointing at the tiny window. Sera looked at it and noticed that the light of the day was long gone, but that didn’t seem to bother her at all. “The coffee shop is probably closed.”

“So?” Sera asked. “We can go and wait until it opens so we can talk to him first thing in the morning.” She opened the door but then Sam spoke again, making her turn around to face him.

“No, Sera, is better if we get some good sleep and we go tomorrow.”

Sera felt the burning sensation growing on her inside as her brian was processing Sam’s words. “Sam, Angela was taken. She could be anywhere right now. And they’re probably doing to her God knows what and you’re asking me to wait?!” Each word that was said was let out louder than the one before. The fire inside of her was growing and she knew it, but she didn’t seem to care or even stop to prevent something bad happening. Her mind was thinking about Angela and nothing else, ignoring the feeling of her hands starting to burn.

“Sera-” Sam got up from the couch to calm her down and for the looks of it, it made Bucky realize that calming her down needed to be done. Because he felt like something was coming. And he was right.

The moment that Sam got up from the couch Sera’s eyes went red like the fire itself. Her fingertips were glowing and her hair started to move like there was wind around her, even if there wasn’t. “No, I agreed to do this with you guys but that doesn’t mean we have to do everything your way-”

“It’s not my way or anyone’s way, it makes sense to wait and get some rest to be fully prepared for tomorrow.”

“I’m fully prepared now, Sam!”

“No, Sera.”

Even if Bucky wanted to intervine he was afraid that if he said something he would make it worse. By the looks of it it looked like Sera was a second away from burning the place to the ground of even burn Sam, who was closer than Bucky.

“Fine.” Sera said normally, like she didn’t feel her skin screaming fire every second that was passing. Just like she was her normal self. “Let’s go with the place Jackson told us about.”

Bucky was about to agree but then Sam spoke again, and his next words worried Bucky even more. “We’re not ready, we need backup.”

“Backup?” Sera asked with a joking tone on her voice.

“Yes. We don’t know what we’re up against and we need to make sure we have all the help we can get.” Sam’s tone made it clear that he wasn’t going to change his mind and Bucky knew that very clear. Knowing Sam he knew that he would always try to make the right decisions. And this time, it wasn’t an exception.

“He’s right, Sera.” Bucky said after Sam said those words, which made Sera even more angry than before. Clearly showing it on her red eyes and her now skin letting out some smoke. But just like before, she didn’t care.

“Of course you’re on his side! You two don’t get it, do you? My friend was just abducted by some really dangerous men that could be doing anything to her right now just to despise me!” Each word that was said was making Sera more angry and the smoke now turned into fire growing out from her skin, slightly burning the furniture on her side. “She could be dead right now and you don’t care! And if she’s not she’s probably suffering and I put her there! I made her involved even if I tried my best to keep her safe! But no! Everything that comes through my way always seems to burst out into flames!”

As soon as she finished her sentence the tiny fire from her skin turned into a circle of fire around her body. Sam and Bucky, preventing themselves from getting burned they took steps back almost falling to the ground in the process.

The fire around Sera was so strong that even Bucky felt the burning on his skin. The tiny table next to Sera was now burning and everything that was on top of it. The fire didn’t seem to be growing but it was becoming stronger and thicker around Sera. Bucky, trying to see her, opened his eyes wider and focused his sight inside the fire. Sera was covering her face with her glowing hands while her hair was lifted into the air moving uncontrollably.

Sam took some steps forward after gaining his balance back ignoring Bucky trying to stop him by grabbing his arm. “Sam! What are you doing?!” He asked but Sam completely ignored him and calmly walking towards Sera. Bucky expected Sam to move backwards painfully after arriving closer to the fire, but surprisingly for him, he didn’t. It looked like the fire wasn’t burning or hurting him. Noticing this a confused Bucky turned to Sera and saw how her red eyes were now on Sam, while tears were slowly going down her cheeks.

“Sera you need to listen to me!” Sam yelled but nothing happened. Sera looked down and covered her face once again and that’s when Bucky felt the burning on his skin become even stronger. “Sera, please. Count to three, remember? It’s me, Sam.” As soon as Sam let out his name out loud Sera quickly uncovered her face and locked eyes with Sam. Their connected eyes seemed to be talking even though they weren’t letting out any words. Seconds later, Bucky noticed how the fire was becoming smaller as the seconds were passing and the burning feeling in his skin slowly fade away. Once the fire was long gone inside of Sera, the second her body ate all the fire she quickly closed her eyes and dropped to the ground. Bucky and Sam with quick steps grabbed her and layed her on the ground, ignoring her burning skin hitting theirs. “You need to rest, Sera.” Sam said softly but Sera shook her head slowly.

“I need to find her.” She said almost out of breath and with a weak tone.

Sam nodded, while grabbing her body with he help of Bucky, who gently grabbed her waist and started walking towards their little balcony. “And you will, but one thing at a time, Sera, one thing at a time.”

>>>

As soon as Sera felt the cold wind hitting her skin, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Even if she wanted to feel some cold air inside her body, as soon as she took it in, she felt how it turned into hot and her lungs filling with it like it was used to. Annoyed, she opened her eyes and the memories of her priors actions came to her head. Like an old movie, the fire around her body and the tears coming out of her eyes were playing on her mind. Sam’s eyes on her, seeing something not for the first time and knowing what was happening, exactly like old times. But this one, had something different. Bucky was there.

A man that met her not even a day ago saw her doing one of the things that happened when she was on her lowest. Something that she didn’t know how to control and even feel coming, even if she tried for years. She felt embarrassed because they came to her for help but seemed to brought them even more trouble even if she wasn’t trying, but for some reason, it always seemed to happen to her. She was used to it, living a life like that for most of her life, but knowing that she did it with Sam... and not the first time; she felt the disappointment on herself growing inside of her each second that was passing. And she didn’t know how to stop it.

“Better?” Bucky’s voice made Sera come out of her thoughts and turn towards him, who was standing on the door with his back resting against the wall.

“Yeah,” Sera nodded and feeling the hot cup of tea touching her skin, she remembered the drink on her hands “and thanks for the tea.”

Bucky let out a tiny smile and then looked down, somehow embarrassed of him and his tea for her. “I’m glad you liked it because I didn’t know if you wanted something hot or cold after... you know.”

“Tea was fine.”

“Good.”

Sera turned to see the inside of the apartment and tilted her head sideways, feeling sorry for the plant and the table now burned. “I’m sorry for the plant... and the table.”

Bucky immediately shook his head and then shrugged his shoulders. “It’s alright, the plant was probably fake anyway. We’ll get a new one.”

“I’ll pay for it.”

“Don’t worry about it, it happens.” Bucky walked closer to Sera and sat down next to her on the tiny couch. Once comfortable, he looked at Sera who had an eyebrow raised. “Yeah, burning a plan to the ground, who hasn’t done that?” For the first time after a long time, Sera let out a genuine tiny laugh. She took a sip of her tea and for her surprise, enjoyed the hot feeling of the drink going down her throat and stomach. “Sam was pretty good back there with you.” Bucky said softly once Sera locked eyes with him.

She nodded going back to her tea, staring at the liquid inside her cup move slowly. “He has seen it before. Me going all... crazy.”

“Did he?” Sera nodded. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. When I met him it was something that happened... a lot.” Bucky wondered why and the questions of her mysterious past came back to his brain. The need of asking some of them to her right on the moment was consuming him, asking himself if it was right or even if she was going to answer them in the first place, but before a word could come out of his mouth, she let out a tiny fake laugh and said: “It’s kinda funny because I get this electric feeling every time something bad is about to happen or someone is about to hurt me but... I never get it when it’s myself who’s about to turn the whole place into chaos. I have this crazy sense and still, I couldn’t protect her.”

“We’re going to find her, Sera.” Bucky said softly but Sera shook her head.

“How do you know that?”

“Because we’ll make sure to find her and keep her safe.” Even if Bucky wanted her to feel better for some strange reason, he couldn’t find the words because... she was right, there was no way he could assure Angela’s safety.

Sera stared at Bucky’s eyes and then let out a tiny nod when some old memories came back to her head. “I said those same things to myself years ago and it never went my way. It’s like everyone that gets involved with me they get hurt. No matter how much I try to keep myself out of the real world.”

“We won’t get hurt, Sera.”

Her entire past was a mystery to Bucky, but for her words he knew that he could relate to it. He could relate to the feeling of not being able to trust your own self and being scare of hurting the people around you. Not having a choice and wanting to leave the real world, Bucky lived that for years. He knew how it felt, but also he knew that it wasn’t easy to forget and heal, and there wasn’t much for him to do more than try to make things right, for him and for the people around him.

“Sam got hurt because of me. You said yourself.” Sera’s voice made Bucky come out of his thoughts and throwing everything he was thinking to the trash. The pain on her voice could be noticible for streets far away and that made Bucky feel the regret in every vein of his body.

“I didn’t- I’m sorry about that.”

“It doesn’t matter, Bucky. What matters now is finding Angela to make sure her safety, so I can move on with a different life like I always do. Away from everyone.” She got up from the couch and left the tea on the side table before locking eyes with Bucky once again. “Thanks for the tea, but I think it’s time for me to head to bed. Don’t worry, I heated it up for you.” She said with a tiny smile trying to hide the tears wanting to come out. And Bucky noticed that. “Goodnight, Bucky.”

As soon as she said those words, she started walking towards the door to walk inside the apartment. Once she left Bucky behind, the tears that were fighting to come out finally won and started to drop down on her cheeks as she was making her way towards the couch, ready to give herself up to the night.

Bucky, who just stayed put while repeating her words on and on on his mind, finally grabbed the cup of tea and felt the hotness on his hand. He let out a tiny sigh disappointed on himself for saying those words, for treating her that way and for everything that happened. Maybe feeling like they couldn’t trust their own selves wasn’t the only thing they had in common. Because Bucky also felt like the people around him always got hurt, even if he was trying to do the complete opposite.

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