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#sasuke just like blank faced glares so much to cover the fact that he has no idea wtf is happening. like he's super smart but his brain is
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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Thoughts on baby sasunaru, like academy days where Sasuke realizes ‘shoot, I like this idiot’ after Naruto is carried into the class room laughing by disheveled ANBU who had to chase him around the town for 3 hours.
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Anon I've been thinking abt this all day
#listen. i love sasuke a lot. and i see a lot of hate for him and i cant stand it#im obsessed with how sasuke sees naruto. he looks at naruto and naruto makes the world feel less terrible#that is literally canon. but at the same time their dynamic in the academy is so weird bc like they do not talk but they gaze#longingly at eachother. its so weird. so i think to make sense of this i would say that sasuke thinks naruto is fun#he likes his sort of carefree off the walls nature which is something he feels he cant show. i also dont understand sasuke's intelligence#like were told hes smart but he also struggles with the same stuff as naruto. thus i must assign him auditory processing issues/maybe#dyslexia. bc i like to inflict dyslexia upon my faves. and i like the idea of iruka seating them together so that he can give special#attention to naruto and to sasuke with sasuke having to speak up abt it. but thats just me making stuff up. i also like the idea that#sasuke just like blank faced glares so much to cover the fact that he has no idea wtf is happening. like he's super smart but his brain is#on a delay lmao. anyway i just love the idea of sasuke wanting to be a dumb kid doing dumb kid stuff with naruto to the extent that he#forgets his anger. and being 100% on board for narutos stupid ideas#uzumaki naruto#uchiha sasuke#hatake kakashi#umino iruka#haruno sakura#is this the 1st time ive drawn sakura? maybe. i have complcated feeling abt her for obv reasons. bad writing i mean#naruto#also i say sasuke thinks naru is fun. im looking past the fact that they feel eachothers pain. more why do they vibe together personality#wise. does that make sense? maybe idk. i just love them a lot#oh god i wish i could edit my tags at the start to clarify what i mean. but god i dont wanna rewrite this
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Kakashi’s Not Here Right Now.
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Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Shisui
1492 words
              Biting into the dango Shisui had given him, Sukea forced himself not to cringe as the sweet taste sank in. It was difficult sometimes, keeping Kakashi at bay during those rare days he got to visit Konoha. Especially when Kakashi’s dislike for sweets was so strong.
              “Everything alright?” Turning his attention over to Shisui, he forced himself to smile regardless of the discomfort currently being caused by his taste buds. “Is the dango too much?”
              “No no,” bringing his free hand up in front of his face, he tried his best to take another bite of dango just so Shisui could see that he was perfectly fine. Unfortunately, Kakashi’s taste buds revolted once again, causing him to spit out the small piece onto the ground. “Ok, maybe dango and I are having a bit of an argument today.”
              Shisui laughed, bright and loud. A laugh that made Sukea’s chest burst with warmth.
              “Here,” holding out a hand, Shisui carefully extracted the stick of dango from Sukea’s grasp. “I’ll eat it for you, but you owe me.”
              That was a phrase Sukea never felt comfortable hearing from Shisui. He knew from Kakashi’s experiences that ‘you owe me’ could only be followed by disaster when coming from Uchiha Shisui’s mouth.
              “Well, I appreciate the kind gesture,” he smiled, even as his brain started to think up increasingly ridiculous and terrifying scenarios Shisui could end up getting him into. “While you’re eating all fo that Dango, why don’t you show me the pictures you’ve taken since my last visit?”
              At least then he could do something.
              Watching as Shisui reached into his camera back and extracted the camera he had given him a little over a year ago, he smiled. He couldn’t wait to see what beautiful pictures Shisui had managed to capture this time. They never failed to blow him away.
              “I haven’t had a lot of time to take pictures this round,” Not surprising given the busy life that he led as a shinobi. “What I was able to get was during my rare time off, and Itachi has been a lot more cautious around me whenever he see’s my camera so I think I only got one picture of him.”
              One picture was good enough. Catching Itachi in embarrassing situations was hard enough to do, but capturing a photo of those occurrences was even rarer. So far the only person who had managed to do it was Shisui, while Sukea’s pictures were often more touching adorable moments he managed to get between Itachi and his little brother Sasuke.
              Taking Shisui’s camera, he wasted no time in turning his attention down to the screen as he flicked the camera on.
              And the first thing his eyes were greeted with was a naked Kakashi splayed out on Shisui’s bed fast asleep with one arm over his eyes and his face completely exposed.
              “O-oh!” He can feel the warmth of a blush creeping up the back of his neck. The moment captured in the picture is easy for him to remember. How he had crawled in through Shisui’s apartment window seeking comfort after a long, difficult mission. Crawling into Shisui’s arms for an escape from the expectations placed on him, and finding himself naked in Shisui’s bed trying desperately to replace every terrible memory with the taste of Shisui’s kiss.
              “I-uh-“ Lowering the camera, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to center himself. “I don’t think I was supposed to see that one.”
              “Why not?” When he looked back over at Shisui, he was greeted with an irritatingly smug smirk. “Don’t you like it? It’s one of my favorite’s so far.”
              There’s a look in Shisui’s eyes that screams ‘danger’ but he has no real escape now. If he just dismisses himself and runs off, Shisui will know that something is up and will likely try to follow him.
              “It’s beautiful, yes,” stunning actually. Shisui had the perfect lighting, angle and set up. He highlighted Kakashi’s body wonderfully and even managed to get a good shot of his face. Something very few people could manage since even in his sleep Kakashi had a bad habit of covering his face with his blanket, hand or even a pillow. “I just don’t think…well, it’s a personal picture don’t you think? Won’t he be upset with you if he finds out you’re showing this to me?”
              He is actually quite upset. Private moments like this were meant to be kept between them. Not shared with someone who was a stranger to him as far as Shisui knew.
              “I’m sure he’ll forgive me,” Shisui shrugged his shoulders as if he had done nothing wrong. “After all, I am eating his dango for him.”
              “Oh…” lowering his eyes, Sukea kicked himself for not realizing why Shisui was so carefree about the whole situation, and for letting himself get caught in the act. “What…”
              “There’s very few people with a mole in that same spot on their face,” Shisui takes another bite of Dango and smiles over at him. “What? You didn’t think you’d keep me fooled forever, did you?”
              The downfalls to sleeping with someone was that they saw his face a lot more than others. Actually remembered what it looked like instead of forgetting the instant his mask went back on. Still, he hadn’t really thought he would fool anyone forever. That’s not the point of Sukea, and Shisui certainly wasn’t the first one to realize.
              He just might be the first one with a little less tact when dealing with the subject.
              “Can you-“ he cut himself off, unsure if he was making a request of Shisui that might be considered ‘rude’ or ‘too much’. It wasn’t really a subject he had to broach a lot with friends like Gai and Tenzo. One who always forgot what he looked like, and the other who seemed to understand right away what Sukea’s purpose was. “I’m…not Kakashi.”
              Turning to look at Shisui, he gave him the best smile that he could and felt his heart hammering in his chest when Shisui returned his smile with a look of pure confusion. Apparently some explanation was needed.
              “Sukea is a visitor,” He turned his eyes up towards the sky as he spoke. “Someone that doesn’t have the same background as Kakashi. That gets to walk into Konoha and have a different experience when he walks down the streets.”
              Sukea doesn’t have to hear ‘Cold blooded Kakashi’ being whispered by every person he passes. Or see the way people glare at him when he acts just a little too much like his father.
              “I’m just a photographer,” he turned his attention back to Shisui, the smile on his face genuine and happy. “The only things I know about Kakashi are the things I hear from others.”
              For a second it looks like Shisui might try to argue with him. State that he knows that Sukea is in fact Kakashi. One in the same person.
              But soon that second passes, and Shisui plasters a smile on his face.
              “I think I get it,” Maybe Kakashi would be able to fill in the blanks for Shisui the next time they see each other. Sukea can already feel the Genius’ mind working deep down inside of him to come up with an explanation that made more sense. “In that case I guess I do owe him an apology. I’ll have to make it up to him next time I see him.”
              Leaning over, Shisui flicked over to the next picture. A much more family appropriate photograph of Kakashi and Gai in the middle of one of the many competitions Sukea has heard about from Gai himself.
              “But, before that.” lifting his head, Sukea drew in a sharp breath when Shisui caught his lips in a kiss. It was tender and careful, exploring and testing the waters just like the first time Shisui had kissed Kakashi. It was also comfortable and warm, making Sukea melt in his spot. He can hear Kakashi grumbling away in his mind, but he ignored it.
              For once Kakashi can share a bit of his life with him. Just for a second.
              A whimper escapes his throat when Shisui pulls away, and he can feel himself blushing all over again when Shisui laughs.
              “I’ll make sure to make that up to him too,” he promises with a playful smile. “Just thought I’d get a kiss from the cute photographer, since I doubt I’ll be getting anymore.”
              Sukea might have to have a one on one chat with Kakashi about that.
              He would certainly like more of those kisses in his future, and Kakashi didn’t have to come out to play for him to get them. He could stay safely tucked away in his mind, hiding away from the problems he’s not able to face that day.
              “I think he’ll forgive you,” Sukea smiled over at him. “Just this once.”
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britishassistant · 4 years
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But I Like One Piece (14)
Of course, it’s hardly as simple as that.
“He’s so annoying.” Uchiha says, leaning on the kitchen counter.
It’s a beautiful summer’s day. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming.
And for some reason only Robin knows, Uchiha’s in her kitchen.
“I tried to keep training last night, and do you know what he said?” Uchiha’s face twists into a sneer. “He said I had to go to bed. At eight-thirty.”
Naruto nods sympathetically as Uchiha waves his arms about in indignation. “I wasn’t even tired! I haven’t gone to bed that early since I was seven!”
“That’s nice.” She says, conscious of the fact that she goes to bed at eight. “Why are you in my house.”
Uchiha flaps an arm at her. “Not important.”
“Get out of my house then.” She tells him.
He shoots her a poisonous look, then sighs.
Uchiha heaves a large bag onto the counter and pushes it towards her. Or tries to anyway. The bag only budges an inch or so.
She steps forward tentatively and looks inside.
And promptly chokes on air.
“Uchiha.” She says seriously. “Do you have any idea what this is?”
Naruto perks up at her tone, craning his head to try and see inside as well.
He shrugs, as though the contents are somehow uninteresting to him. “The label says it’s lamb.”
“I see that.” She says. “But do you know how much a single lamb chop costs at the market? And not even the ones that’ve been freshly imported from Kusagakure.”
Naruto’s brow furrows. “Is it as much as the beef steak?”
She shoots him a wide-eyed look, remembering the cheap, thin cuts that had ended up costing almost a month’s worth of Otou-sama and Okaa-sama’s combined salary. “More.”
Naruto’s mouth drops open, and he stares at the bag with a newfound sense of reverence.
Uchiha shrugs again, with the self-assured air of a child who’s never had to deal with being told that something he wants is too expensive. “I don’t know. It was just outside the compound this morning. I don’t know any recipes for it yet, so I figured you’d get more use out of it.”
She takes another moment to goggle at the huge leg of lamb sitting in the bag, cellophane wrapped and surrounded by ice.
She hasn’t eaten this meat since the Sunday before she died.
She covers her face with her hands and inhales deeply to regain her composure. “Right. Okay.”
She wonders if it would be easier to roast it all before carving, or if she can get away with cutting it up raw and freeze some of it for later use.
Sasuke looks up from griping when she pulls out one of their sharper knives, running a whetstone over it to make sure it’s as sharp as it possibly can be.
She’s decided to chance it on doing the cuts raw—roasting it all in one marinade would limit the types of dishes whose flavors it could be combined with, and Sanji would never stand for that.
She places the meat onto a chopping board, with multiple plates for different cuts and gristle.
Sanji, she prays silently. Please don’t let me make a mess of this.
She carefully begins trimming off the excess fat and gristle off the piece of meat, trying to keep her cuts as neat as possible. She keeps the fat separate from the rest of the refuse for potential use as lard or flavoring.
It’s only once she begins following the sinews to carve a bit of meat away from a bone that’s shaped a bit like the letter “h”.
She deposits one of the filets onto a plate and sets about trying to carve the h-shaped bone out of the joint so she has more room to work.
She ends up with a bit more bone than she’d anticipated, by which she means all of them. The meat that had formerly been attached to them now sits in various unattractive gristle-and-artery-filled lumps.
She sighs, puts the bones to one side for stock or to roast their marrow, and begins her attack on the gristle and arteries.
“How did you do that?” Uchiha asks, leaning away from the counter.
“Do what?” She frowns, looking up.
He waves at the bones. They’re vaguely pinkish from the fluids of the meat, but have been scraped clean of every last scrap of flesh, she’s proud to say.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ll be honest, I barely have any idea what I’m doing.”
Uchiha purses his lips, calculating. “So...could you do it to an opponent?”
She shoots him an unimpressed look. “Sure, because a squirming person is gonna lie as still as this and let me carve them up. All that’d happen is my knife would get nicked, and I’d have to get it repaired.”
She adopts the same reprimanding tone the teacher uses to tell her off. “Kitchen tools are for the kitchen, Uchiha. We don’t play around with them.”
Naruto snickers at Uchiha’s put-out expression as he groans. “Don’t. You sound just like him.”
“Is living with him really that bad?” Naruto asks, as the gristle begins piling up on the plate.
Uchiha’s face does something complicated. “...He’s better than Anko.”
“So is a goldfish.” She replies. “That’s not really a high bar to clear.”
“He’s better than the others too.” Uchiha allows, grudgingly. “At least he pays attention to me and asks me what I want. And doesn’t talk to me like I’m three.”
Naruto nods encouragingly while the lumps turn into neatish little cubes and filets.
“But he keeps telling me to do stuff.” Uchiha whines, before he tries to drop his voice to imitate the teacher’s. “Sasuke-kun, take a break. Sasuke-kun, cook something without tomatoes. Sasuke-kun, put your clothes in the laundry instead of the garbage. Sasuke-kun, take a bath this week. Sasuke-kun, stop training so hard. Sasuke-kun, be careful with that kunai. Sasuke-kun, go to bed.”
“Do you do all the cooking?” She asks, curious.
Uchiha shoots her a flat look. “Iruka can boil rice and grill mackerel. He said it was an achievement, because he used to make it blow up when he was younger.”
Naruto squints in confusion as most of the food goes into plastic containers and into the fridge while the waste goes into the bin. “The rice or the fish?”
Uchiha pulls a face as sweet potatoes, a red pepper, and several tomatoes appear on the counter. “I didn’t ask.”
She finds herself pulling out a large wok and filling the bottom with olive oil, less cumin than she would’ve liked, plenty of rosemary, and salt and pepper.
She heats up the oil and herb mixture, then drops in the cubed lamb that was left out. “Well, he’s probably just trying to keep you strong.” She says diplomatically, tossing the sweet potatoes and a peeler to Naruto.
He dutifully begins peeling.
“How is me going to bed at eight-thirty making me stronger?” Uchiha stresses, nose wrinkling.
She catches the potato that Naruto tosses back, cubing it and dropping it in the wok before turning to catch the second. “Well, sleep helps your brain develop. If you don’t get enough now, then you’ll be dumb later in life.”
Uchiha gives her a glare that’s truly withering. “You’ll be dumb too if you keep shying away from chakra.”
She frowns, flicking some juice from the pepper at him and snickering as he recoils. “Good meals and good rest make your body stronger. It helps with growth, muscle and brain development.”
Uchiha still looks disbelieving so she adds, “It’s why you’ll be stronger than that man when you get to his age.”
There’s no sounds other than the hiss of diced tomatoes hitting the pan.
“How.” Uchiha hisses, eyes alight with obsession.
She briefly contemplates that that may have been the wrong thing to say as she places a lid on the wok to let the ingredients simmer and puts the rice on.
“Well, he’s a war criminal now, right?” She says.
“Missing nin.” He replies.
“Whatever.” She says. “Point is, nobody wants to work with somebody who’s done what he’s done, not even criminals. So he probably can’t get work, and doesn’t have a steady income. And Konoha has a bounty on his head, so he’s got to evade bounty hunters looking to collect on the reward constantly.”
“And?” Uchiha interrupts, eyeing her disdainfully.
Naruto tilts his head as the meal is stirred and tasted. “Wait.” He says. “How’s that guy gonna get food then?”
“Ex-actly.” She says proudly, nodding to him. “He can’t. He can hardly sleep either, because, y’know, bounty hunters. And I don’t care how good a ninja someone is, no one functions well on continuous food and sleep deprivation. Especially not compared to someone who’s been getting plenty of rest and three square meals a day.”
“That man doesn’t need any of that.” Uchiha’s voice is coated in scorn. “He’s too strong!”
She raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “No matter how strong he is, he’s still mortal. He needs to eat like everyone else, Uchiha.”
“No he doesn't!” Uchiha’s voice cracks on the last word.
Her mouth snaps shut, a reassurance about his brother potentially lying dead in a ditch somewhere suddenly seeming very unwise.
Uchiha stares at his clenched fists, minute tremors shaking his form.
Naruto reaches out slowly and grips his shoulder until the trembling stops.
Wordlessly, the rice and the lamb dish is plated up.
She places one plate in front of Naruto and one in front of Uchiha, putting a lid on the rest for Otou-san and Okaa-san, and Gai and Lee if they end up dropping by for lunch.
She rummages around for chopsticks, tossing two sets to the boys and grabbing one for herself.
There’s a quiet murmur of “itadakimasu” before they all begin eating while standing up.
Naruto’s eyes light up. “This is really good Mayu-chan, believe it!”
She smiles bashfully as she chews. The lamb goes nicely with the spicier flavors, unsurprisingly, but she hadn’t known that it would work this well with the tomato.
Uchiha doesn’t look at her when he asks, “What’s the recipe?”
She’s about to rib that he just watched her make this in front of him, he should pay more attention to what’s happening under his nose—
But she’s suddenly drawing a blank.
What did she put in this?
There’s tomato and lamb and sweet potato and pepper, yes, but there are also some other browned pieces of meat that taste spicy-sweet when she bites into them. It compliments the lamb very well, and she’d be proud of that if she could remember cooking it.
The sauce is far too liquid for the ingredients she recalls putting in the wok to have produced it, and the flavors are too complex for the few spices she added—she’s heard of foods working well together, but not to the point of carrying hints of things that weren’t in the dish in the first place.
Her chewing slows and she wonders if it would count as wasting food if she stops Naruto and Uchiha from eating any more of it.
“I’m back!” Okaa-san calls.
Naruto burbles a “welcome back!” through his stuffed cheeks, while Uchiha just ducks his head and grunts quietly.
She shoves her moral dilemma to the back of her mind to avoid worrying her mother.
Okaa-san goes to hug Naruto, but pauses in the middle of the action.
She sniffs the air, inhaling deeply and wrinkling her nose. “Mayu-chan, are the windows open?”
She shakes her head. “No, Okaa-san.”
Okaa-san goes and tries the windows and the door to the back garden, and then leaves to do the same in the living room, and then upstairs.
She comes back into the kitchen frowning hard.
“None of you let anyone enter or leave while me and Otou-san and Gai-sensei were out, did you?” She asks, looking deeply troubled. “Naruto-kun, Uchiha-san?”
The two boys shake their heads in tandem.
“What’s wrong, Okaa-san?” She asks, absent-mindedly chewing another bit of lamb.
“It’s just—” Her mother shakes her head. “It stinks of cigarette smoke in here.”
It’s probably a good thing she’s swallowed her mouthful.
Otherwise her sudden coughing fit would’ve ended up wasting the mystery food and she’s suddenly pretty certain she does not want to do that, even on accident.
The smell’s faded a bit by the time Gai-sensei and Otou-san get home, but not enough to be unnoticeable.
Because apparently there’s an undercurrent of brine to the scent that has her sweating nervously, wondering about the power of faith and its effects on reality and whether or not she’s finally snapped and is hallucinating the whole thing.
Thankfully, no one aside from Naruto seems to notice her silent panic, because they’re all too busy discussing the possibility of ninja from Kiri infiltrating their house for reasons unknown.
Okaa-san is especially worried, because she apparently hasn’t heard from her family since they moved to Konoha.
This is strange, considering that her mother’s family is a merchant group that does business on nearly every shore of the continent, and one of them was bound to have figured out where they were by now.
Okaa-san and Otou-san debate softly over whether they should try contacting their maternal relatives to see if something’s happened as they all wait outside.
Meanwhile a ninja in a green jacket like Gai-sensei’s and one dressed in black that steers clear of Uchiha go through their house, looking for an intruder that seemingly appeared from and vanished into thin air.
Iruka-sensei quickly arrives to take Uchiha home, with some of the lamb in plastic containers and instructions on what herbs it would be good to roast the meat with.
She would’ve demonstrated, but she doesn’t quite trust herself not to break down crying at the scent yet. Plus, you know, home investigation. Sort of puts a dampner on that kind of thing.
Even Kiba’s mum and her dog come along to join the fun.
The dog ducks his head to her and Naruto in greeting while Kiba’s mum flashes a toothy grin that’s a lot like her son’s.
That grin doesn’t last long.
A lot of growls begin coming from the house, and she thinks she might hear the sound of something breaking, before the dog slips out the front door and over to them.
Gai-sensei seems to know what’s happening, because he leans down a little so he’s on the dog’s level, holding his hands out, palm-up.
The dog sniffs his hands, his arms, and his chest, then moves on to Otou-san, who’s a little befuddled, but mimics Gai-sensei.
The dog is very careful around his bandage-less hands.
Then the dog moves onto Okaa-san, then Naruto, where he pauses and sniffs her best friend a little closer. Naruto giggles a little at the press of the dog’s wet nose.
She presents her own palms next.
The dog leans in and sniffs.
Then he whuffs and tells her, “Inhale through your nose and out through your mouth.”
She blinks in confusion, glancing at Gai-sensei, who nods encouragingly.
So she does as the dog asks, watching as he sniffs the air again.
His doggy brows draw down over his doggy eyes, and he lopes back towards the house.
She shifts nervously, feeling several pairs of eyes boring into her.
Kiba’s mum storms out after her dog within a few minutes. The woman inhales in front of her, nose twitching in a manner not dissimilar to her ninken’s.
“Welp.” She says. “Kid, you reek of that shitty scent. But you haven’t been smoking, or near any bodies of saltwater recently. Kuromaru can easily tell that.”
“That’s right.” Otou-san says, glancing warily between her and Kiba’s mum.
Kiba’s mum sighs. “Well, until Aburame gets here to do his shit, best we can tell is that this fucker somehow infiltrated and stuck to your daughter like creepy, perverted glue before vanishing like a fucking spirit.”
Okaa-san reaches out to grab her shoulder, face twisted at more than just Kiba’s mom’s profanity. “Should we consider alternate lodging for the night? Just in case the—the intruder comes back?”
Kiba’s mum shrugs. “Got anywhere that you can stay?”
Okaa-san bites her lip. Otou-san rubs the back of his neck as he thinks.
“I would gladly lend my living quarters to you should you need it, Chie-san, Jirou-san!” Gai-sensei exclaims.
Both of her parents go dark pink and begin stuttering about how they couldn’t possibly intrude on his living space like that, they wouldn’t want to cause any trouble—
“Gai, you live in the Jounin Quarters.” Kiba’s mum says, one eyebrow raised. “You can’t even keep a dog in those apartments.”
Gai-sensei pouts at that, so she volunteers, “I could always sleep over with Naruto so there’s more space, or we could see if Sakura and her parents could have us?”
Okaa-san looks considering, but Otou-san purses his lips. “Would they be able to defend themselves and escape unharmed if the intruder followed us?”
“But what if it wasn’t an intruder?” Naruto pipes up. “What if it was Sanji?”
A cold sweat breaks out on the back of her neck.
Kiba’s mum looks over to her so fast she’s surprised the woman doesn’t get whiplash.
“That name mean anything to you, kid?” She says, far too casually to really be casual.
She shifts under the sensation of eyes again. “‘S a character from a comic I like. One Piece. He’s a pirate chef.”
She hears the smack of a hand meeting a face, and her mother muttering, “of course he is”.
Kiba’s mum raises an eyebrow. “Never heard of that comic before. And I coulda sworn that Kiba has copies of damn near every series in Fire Country. Know where he could get a copy of this one?”
“No.” She says, trying to make her voice smooth and confident like Robin’s would be, and stop it from quivering like Usopp’s. “It’s been a long time since I last read it. I haven’t been able to find any copies in recent years.”
Kiba’s mum nods, like this is perfectly reasonable. “Shame. And this Sanji character—you like him?”
“He’s my favorite.” She mumbles, cheeks flaming.
“Yeah! He’s really strong, but he only fights with his feet because he needs to protect his hands, believe it!” Naruto enthuses. “And he smokes cigarettes all the time, and he can cook a ten course meal with barely any ingredients, and he’s super smart and sneaky. He’s kinda useless about girls though, believe it.”
She grimaces, commiserating. “Yeah, he falls in love with every pretty girl he sees and refuses to hurt them, even if one’s his opponent. It’s kinda annoying, but he’d be too cool if he wasn’t dumb in some way, so, eh.” She shrugs her shoulders.
Then she makes the mistake of looking up at Otou-san and Okaa-san and Gai-sensei.
The expression on their faces can only be called knowing, and it makes her want to run inside and curl up in her bed and never come out again, ever.
She almost doesn’t hear it when Kiba’s mum asks, “You’ve never met anyone who matches this description in real life?”
She shakes her head. “Of course not. He doesn’t exist here, after all.”
Then the adults stiffen, and she gets the vague impression that she’s said something she shouldn’t have.
She and Naruto are sent back into the house with Kuromaru-san.
She turns back and sees Kiba’s mum discussing something very seriously with her parents and Gai-sensei before Kuromaru-san whuffs and shepherds her into the house with his wet nose.
It feels very ticklish, and she has to stifle slightly hysterical giggles.
“Hey Mayu-chan.” Naruto mutters as they climb the stairs. “How come you said Sanji doesn’t exist here?”
She blinks.
Ah.
Um.
“Be-because he doesn’t. He exists in the world of One Piece, but that world and this world are two separate things. That’s all.” She’s momentarily thankful to all those essays she had to write for her major which allowed her to BS on her feet like this.
There’s a snort from the dog behind her. “It’s not a question of existence if he’s a comic book character. He’s fictional, he’s not alive.”
She does not point out that technically Kuromaru-san and Naruto are also fictional comic book characters and therefore should not be alive by the dog’s logic.
They end up sitting in her room, safely out of the way of the investigation, waving at the ninja who walk past the door and occasionally pulling faces at them when Kuromaru-san isn’t looking.
The ninja in green with something in his mouth pulls faces right back, and it becomes a sort of challenge to see who can go the longest without getting caught.
Kuromaru-san bares the whole ordeal with remarkably good grace, all things considered.
They soon grow tired of this game and of waiting with nothing to do, and end up curled up on her bed to doze in the late afternoon sun.
Nothing is found.
Even Shino’s dad is stumped, his insects buzzing aimlessly around the house in search of something that’s not there.
It’s decided that they may as well stay in the house for the moment, because there’s nothing to suggest that whoever-it-was is limited by geographic location.
For some reason, everyone keeps looking at her when they say that.
Gai-sensei takes the time to set up lots of traps around every window and doorway to ensure the house is well protected before he walks Naruto home.
Otou-san and Okaa-san insist on her sleeping with them in the big bed that night.
She waits until she can hear them breathing softly in sleep.
Sanji, she prays silently. If that was you helping me out earlier, then thank you very, very much for your assistance. The meal was really, really delicious and I’m honored I got to cook with you. But, maybe, if it’s not too much trouble, could you maybe be a little bit sneakier if you honor me with your help out again? Like when you were Mister Prince, because Otou-san and Okaa-san and Gai-sensei got really freaked out when they thought someone broke in. Thank you for everything again. I think you’re amazing, no matter what Zoro says.
She could swear she hears a gentle chuckle as she falls asleep.
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kuriquinn · 5 years
Text
The Job Offer [part 2]
General Disclaimer
Rating: PG 13
Author’s Note: I was planning to do all random one-shots that weren’t connected to anything. But this was the only thing I could think of writing when I saw the prompt was “medicine”. So...here’s the next part of that mafia fic I started like two years ago. If you want to read the first part, you can find it here.
⁂ ⁂ ⁂ ⁂ ⁂ ⁂ ⁂
“So, I hear you’re refusing your medication unless I give it to you,” Sakura says as she enters the private room without preamble, two IV bags in hand. “Care to share why? And it better not be some macho, stoic bullshit.”
She should probably be a little more polite, but she’s way beyond sleep deprived at this point.
Uchiha Sasuke is propped up in his bed, glaring at her. His chest is a swath of thick bandages, turning what she has learned is a stunning physic into a comically shapeless square. They are incongruent with the vibrant colours of sleeve tattoos that depict snakes winding up either arm against a black background with red clouds. She knows there’s something on his back, too, but she was a little too preoccupied with his life-saving surgery at the time to identify it; some kind of bird.
“Your people are refusing to allow my men in here. I can’t be sure I’m not being poisoned.”
“After the show they put on in the emergency room, they’re lucky they’re even allowed in the waiting room,” she grumbles and begins to set the bags into the apparatus. “Why do you trust me not to poison you? I mean, you’ve been a bit of a pain since I met you, so you’d totally deserve it…”
She chances a glance over at her patient, who hasn’t taken his eyes off her since she walked in. She has a brief moment of being lost in endless black, and then he turns away with a noncommittal noise.
“You’ve already proven you have principles. Since a dozen Uchiha-gumi couldn’t make you waver, I doubt anything else could.”
He goes quiet, staring at the wall with a slight frown in his forehead, and long bangs framing his face rather fetchingly despite the fact he probably hasn’t had a chance to wash his hair in three days.
He is really, unfairly and ridiculously pretty.
Sakura swallows at that thought, hastily grabbing for his chart so he doesn’t catch her looking.
No! None of that! Bad idea! That is the worst idea. Just look at his arms, they tell you exactly why this is a bad idea!
“What are you giving me, anyhow?” he asks. “I don’t allow just anything in my body.”
“I’m trying not to find that ironic,” Sakura quips. “Anyhow, these are your next round of antibiotics and painkillers—and no, it’s not morphine, you already made it clear to my interns what you thought about that.”
“As I said.”
“Yeah, well, you could have been a little nicer about it. I think Dr. Ise is about to go to the administration and tender his resignation because of you. And they’re in enough of a tizzy already, they’d accept it.”
Uchiha watches her face, and something flashes in his gaze.
“You haven’t had any issues, have you?” he asks, frowning. “With regards to your employment?”
Sakura’s cheeks flame. “You mean since your boys were trying to intimidate Senju-sensei and the rest of the Board of Directors?”
“It would be remiss of them to suspend your privileges considering the situation.”
“Do you know how much of a problem their interference could be for me?!”
“Was it effective?”
“In this case…yes,” she admits grudgingly. He smirks at that, like he predicted this, and she clenches her fists. “But the Board’s going to make my life hell in other ways from now on! Constant reviews and check ins and…” She sighs, reigning in her temper. “Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate it, but you’re making my life more complicated—”
“Complicated enough to leave?” he suggests, and there’s something too blank about his face just then.
Suspicion rears its head, along with a memory of the night they met.
“So what? Just come work for me.”
“I’m not quitting my job. I have responsibilities—"
“Take a sabbatical,” he suggests. “I’ve heard that’s common among the medical profession, either due to burnout or the desire to research areas of interest.”
“Not to go work for the mob!”
He doesn’t appear to hear her. “You doctors engage in research, right? Life-saving practices, new methods?”
“…Yes?”
“And that requires funding, if I understand it. Which is difficult to come by, considering you don’t exactly get paid much…”
Sakura narrows her eyes. “Are you trying to bribe me?”
“I consider it more of an investment.”
“No offense, but even if I were at the point in my career where I was trying to get funding for something, I’d rather not have the money attached to my name and methods be dirty. Especially not if I want to be taken seriously.”
“We maintain entirely legal businesses,” he dismisses. “My branch of the family has a thriving private security business, which has been very lucrative so far. Any funding you receive through us would be through legal channels and with clean funds.”
Sakura blinks, not entirely sure she’s understanding what she’s hearing.
“Why are you trying so hard to recruit me?”
“You have a good image.”
“Excuse me?”
“Not like that,” he rolls his eyes. Then as if in opposition to what he just said, his gazes flicks up and down in a way that has her blushing and torn between wanting to cover up in a blanket or shrug out of her scrubs in front of him.
Oh. My. God. What the hell is wrong with me?
“You are small and unassuming,” he continues. “No one would know to look at you that you’re anything more than that. And in addition to being able to fight, you have medical skills and respect discretion. In my experience, that is hard to come by without a lot of money being thrown around. And money doesn’t buy loyalty. You already have principles, so money wouldn’t be necessary. You’re a warrior and a healer. That’s valuable.”
“I…”
What the hell do I say to that?
“As it happens, I’m looking for another member of my security team. Suigetsu’s wife is having a baby soon, and she’s demanding. I don’t see him being able to maintain his commitments to my schedule for the next little while. You have no family connections or commitments to speak of, nor any time-consuming romantic relationships most women your age do.”
“How the— how do you know that?! Are you— did you have someone look into me?”
She’s entirely thrown off balance by this.
“My brother is very thorough. He and my parents wished to make sure of your credentials.” There aren’t many yakuza that the general populace are able to name off the top of their head, but Uchiha Itachi is one of them. If any of the stories about him are true… “You will likely meet him when I’m permitted to leave here.”
Sakura is only just able to hold back the choke of fear, but her patient notices, nonetheless.
“There’s no need for you to worry about him,” he says, bored. “He already likes you, from what Suigetsu told him. Something amuses him about the fact you can—what’s the expression? ‘Get me to take my medicine’? Anyhow, he’ll have a formal offer of employment drawn up for you.”
He is looking at her with a superior look, as if to say, this hospital may be your kingdom, but I have my own domain.
That confidence is simultaneously terrifying and sexy in a way it shouldn’t be.
“You may have time to consider the proposition,” he tells her, indicating the door; a clear dismissal.
Sakura bristles a little at that, irritated. “And if I still decline?”
He shrugs. “Then you decline. I’m not about to have your fingers cut off because you’ve done something I don’t like.” His eyes rest on her hands, then flick up to her with something indecipherable in them. “That would be a waste.”
And then he smiles.
Sakura feels a surge of want slam into her and oh, whether she takes the job or not, this is not going to turn out well for her, is it?
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isolavirtuosa · 7 years
Text
Post-Post Traumatic: The Second Time 3-4
Post-Post Traumatic [fanfiction] NaruSasu (in progress)
A series of “drabbles” following the events of Post Traumatic.
Previous Parts
The Second Time
3-4 under the cut
- 3 -
             “I’m the best husband in the world, right?” Naruto said, hugging me from behind as we watched Ino approach.
           “You’re in the top five.”
           “What the hell, who are the other four?!” Naruto cried.
           “Not in my ear,” I muttered.
           “Uncle Naruto!” Yurina cried, running at us.
           “Uncle Sasuke!” Tsubaki cried, jumping down from her mother’s arms and racing after her sister.
           We both caught our girls in hugs.
           “Hi my darling boys,” Ino said, smooching us both on the cheek.  “Thanks for having us over.”
           That was just Ino’s polite way of saying, ‘hey, Naruto, you told me Sasuke was going crazy again, so as requested here I am with his nieces to use as a preventative measure.’
           I couldn’t even be mad about it because it meant I could spend a week with my girls.
           Of course, that led to its own complications.
           Mari was seething with jealousy.
           “You’re important to me, too,” I said, which didn’t satisfy her at all ,and in fact seemed to make her angrier.
           Then Karin came back, and the house was overflowing with females.
           “Let’s have a girls’ night!” Karin said enthusiastically.
           “We can invite Temari!” Ino chimed in.
           “A bunch of bossy chicks trying to out-yell each other?” Naruto said, making a face.
           “Don’t worry, Naruto, you’re not invited,” Ino said dismissively.  “But Sasuke can come.”
           “Why can Sasuke come?  He hates going out.  He’s terrible company.  Who would want to hang out with that?!” Naruto protested.
           “Thank you, sweetie,” I said.
           “Yeah, of course, here to help.”
           “Sasuke’s basically a chick, so he can come,” Ino explained.
           Naruto burst out laughing.
           I kicked him.  Then I turned my death glare on Ino.  I really didn’t like that shit.
           “Come on, Sasuke, you use more hair products than I do,” Ino said.
           “And more beauty products in general,” Karin chimed in.
           “Is it a crime to take care of one’s appearance?” I growled.
           “We said you were feminine, not a criminal,” Ino said.
           “I’m not feminine.”
           “It’s true, he’s really violent,” Naruto agreed.
           “Isn’t like every important woman in your life a little bit violent?” Ino pointed out.
           “Oh… wow, yeah.  So I guess violence equals femininity equals Sasuke?”
           I kicked him again.
           “OW!”
           Somehow I ended up going with the girls into town. It was probably because they offered to buy me drinks.
           “Hey, it’s Konoha’s two first ladies,” Temari said with a grin when she saw Ino and I.  She looked like she was already a few drinks in.
           “The next person who refers to me as a female will die,” I said flatly.
           “Have a drink, Uchiha,” Temari said, putting a beer in my hands.
           I glared at her, but drank it anyway.
           “Still no first lady in Suna?” Ino asked, slinging an arm around my shoulder.
           I eyed her warily.
           “Gaara’s married to the village,” Temari said.
           “I think he and Jugo would make a cute couple,” Karin mused.
           “…what…?” I said.
           “I dunno, they’re both asexual little weirdos.”
           “Ha, they so are,” Temari said.
           “Why do women have to pair everyone off?”
           All of the girls glared at me.
           “What?” I complained.
           “Why did we invite him?” Ino murmured.
           “Because he’s cute,” Karin said.  “Give him another drink.”
           “Who the hell is cute?” I growled, accepting the drink and taking a long swallow.
           The girls mostly talked about politics and weaponry, interspersed with romantic gossip.
           It wasn’t so bad.  At least I was drunk.
           “Kakashi and Gai are not getting it on,” I said, waving my drink around.  “Kakashi is out of Gai’s league.”
           “Then why do they always act so weird when Sakura and I walk in on them somewhere?  Like they were caught in the act.”
           “Were they caught in the act?”
           “…no…”
           “Maybe they were just having a private conversation.”
           “About what?!”
           “Ninja stuff.  Private ninja stuff.”
           “Like how they’re doinking?” Ino asked.
           “They are not doinking!”
           “We’ll see.”
           “No one wants to see that!”
           “Actually, okay, you’ve got me there.”
           “I always thought Kakashi would go for Sakura,” Karin murmured.
           Ino and I both gave her horrified looks.
           “What?”
           “You are off Team Taka,” I muttered into my beer.
           “Like you could function without me.”
           I stuck my tongue out at her.
           All of the girls cracked up.
           I looked at them sourly.  I didn’t like them thinking that I was cute.  I liked being fearsome and mysterious.  It was proper and befitting of an Uchiha.  Being cute… that was just about the opposite.
           “So, Sasuke,” Temari said, leaning towards me. “What’s with you and Naruto?  Are you fighting?”
           “Why would we be fighting?” I asked, feeling defensive.
           “Well, he’s obviously not getting any…”
           Ino and Karin both covered their mouths, eyes wide.
           I wished I hadn’t drunk so much.  It was hard to school the emotion off my face. I was going for ‘blank mask’, but I think it came out more as ‘broken child’.
           “You really are fighting?” she asked, softening.
           “Girl, no,” Karin cut in.  “Sasuke’s new psych meds-”
           “You will not finish that sentence,” I growled, sharingan activated and ready-to-go.
           “Oh,” said Temari.  “Ohhh.”
           I was embarrassed and angry.
           “Sasuke, it’s not a big deal,” Karin said, ignoring my rage.  “I don’t want to have sex with Suigetsu all the time, and I don’t even have a medical excuse for it.”
           “Could it be because you’re dating Suigetsu?” Ino suggested with a snort.
           “We’re not dating,” Karin said, taking off her glasses and wiping them on her shirt.  “But okay, you have a point.”
           “You’re not dating?” Ino asked, cocking her head to the side.
           “We have an arrangement,” she answered clinically.
           “Uzumakis have strange taste in men, hey?” Ino said, poking me in the stomach.
           I was feeling slightly better now that Karin and Suigetsu’s ridiculousness had become the focus of the conversation, so I just scowled at her and went back to my drink.
           Karin and Temari started talking about keeping their men in line, so I tuned out.
           Ino patted me on the head, and I found myself leaning into her.  I spent a lot of time with her and Sakura after Naruto… left.  It was nice having her here, even though all I really cared about was seeing my nieces.
           “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly.
           “No,” I answered sharply.
           “Okay, but we all want to talk about it,” Karin cut in.
           “It’s true, I’m vaguely interested,” Temari agreed.
           “Talk about your own sex lives,” I growled.
           “We have been,” Karin said.  “Now we’re bored of it and want to talk about yours.”
           “It’s none of your business.”
           “It was the subject of the most popular book series in the ninja world since Icha Icha.”
           “That still doesn’t make it your business.”
           “I have to share a wall with you.  Do you know how many times I’ll be trying to fall asleep and all I can hear is, ‘oh, god, Naruto, yes, right there, yes, yes, yes!’”
           I glared at her to cover up my blush.
           “Karin, come on,” Ino said, giving me a worried glance.
           “No way, Sasuke’s been sulking for months about this, but he doesn’t have the common decency to fill in all the details.”
           “Oh, I’m so sorry, Karin, what would you like to know?” I asked, shooting death in her direction while staying cuddled with Ino.
           “Well, first of all, since you’re the bottom, why don’t you two just have sex anyway?”
           “Who the hell says I’m the bottom?!” I cried, turning redder.
           “Um, my eyes, every time I’ve ever walked in on you,” Karin said, waving off my protest like it was ridiculous.  “And also my ears, because have I mentioned, ‘ohhh, Narutooo, I want your big dick inside of meeee’?”
           “I have never fucking said that,” I growled. Which was mostly true.  “Fuck off,” I added for good measure.
           The main reason I didn’t like talking about my sex life was because people made assumptions about things.  Me taking dick seemed to equate to me being passive or feminine or some other kind of homophobic bullshit, when all it really meant was that I liked dick.  It wasn’t like I never topped, but Naruto was such a baby about it with his ‘ow, oh my god, stop’ nonsense that it wasn’t particularly enjoyable for either of us.
           “Sasuke, this might surprise you, but we all know that you’re gay,” Karin stage whispered.
           “That’s not the issue!” I snapped.  “I’m not the girl in the relationship.”
           “No one said you were,” Karin said, rolling her eyes.  “I said you were the bottom.  Is that not the politically correct word?  Do you prefer something else?  The receiver? The penetrate-ee?  Vestibule of the penis?”
           “How about you don’t say anything at all?” I muttered, too embarrassed to even be angry anymore.
           I realized that Ino was glaring at Karin over my head.
           Temari was enjoying her cigarette.
           I put both of my arms around Ino’s waist, resting my cheek against her full breasts.  I didn’t understand the sexual appeal of boobs, but they were a very comforting place to rest my weary head.
           Ino thumbed my cheek.  “You drank too much.”
           “I’m fine.”
           “Sure you are.”
           “Karin’s being mean to me.”
           “A little bit, yeah.”
           “I’m not being mean!” Karin interjected.  “I just don’t want to watch you keep spiraling.”
           “I’m not spiraling!  Why does everyone think that I’m losing it?  I haven’t heard a voice in my head for months!”
           “So you’re not depressed?  You’re not feeling distant from Naruto?  You’re not upset that you can’t go to Konoha and see Yurina and Tsubaki whenever you want?  You’re not anxious about Suigetsu restarting the Swordsmen of the Mist and leaving the Land of Wind behind?”
           “That last one is stretching it,” I muttered. “And I’m not depressed, I’m just… empty.”
           “That doesn’t sound any better.”
           I finally sat up, fumbling for my beer.  It tasted suspiciously watery.
           “Sasuke.”
           “Fine.  I get it. You’re right.  Everyone’s always right.”
           “I don’t want to be right, I just want you to take care of yourself.”
           “And I want to not be a fucked-up mess, but that never seems to work out.”
           “Sasuke.”
           “I don’t know what you want me to do.”
           “Well I figured if we talked a little, maybe you could figure out what you need for yourself.”
           I stared at her like she was an idiot.
           “Or something,” she added helpfully.
           “You just want entertainment,” I muttered, finishing my drink despite the lack of taste.
           “Yes, that, too.”
           I smiled a little.  It probably looked like a grimace.  I appreciated Karin’s honesty.  It made her more tolerable to me.
           Ino handed me another beer.  It also tasted suspiciously watery, but it relaxed me.
           “I didn’t think I’d ever even want to have sex in my life,” I mumbled, lighting a cigarette.
           Temari gave me a funny look, but Ino and Karin nodded knowingly.
           “Go onnn,” Karin encouraged.
           “I’m done.”
           “But it was just getting juuuuicy.”
           “How is admitting to not wanting to have sex juicy?”
           “Because then you became a total manwhore.”
           “I think sex is repulsive,” I said.  “And dirty.”
           “Isn’t that why it’s great?” Karin asked with an easy smile.
           We all cringed.
           I rested my cigarette against my mouth, fingers brushing my lips.  I waited, then took a drag.  I held the smoke in my lungs, blowing it out slowly.  “I guess what I want to say is that sex has never been sex with Naruto. It’s the only time that we don’t fight. Despite what you’ve read, obviously.   And it’s the only time we can both just completely shed these personas we have to wear all day.  It’s an important part of our relationship, and it’s been taken away from me, and I don’t know how to fill that loss.  So yes, I’m having trouble adjusting, but I’m not falling apart, and can you all just kindly fuck off?”
           “Yeah, sure, whatever,” Temari said with a shrug.
           “Consider me fucked,” Karin said.
           I grimaced.
           “Wait, wait, so if sex with Naruto isn’t sex, then what exactly is it?” Ino asked, getting a lecherous look on her face.
           “Don’t repeat any of this to the idiot,” I said, trying to glare her into submission.
           “But it was getting so poetic!” Ino said. “Too bad Hinata isn’t here.  I think she’s starting to run dry on fresh material.”
           That moved the topic of conversation away from me.
           We all crashed at Temari’s, and headed home the next morning.
           “Hey, Sasuke,” Ino said as we walked.  “I’m only gonna be here a couple more days, but I was thinking maybe we could go out to dinner with the girls?”
           “I’ll stay with the kids,” Karin put in.
           “Sure,” I said, looking between them.  It seemed like they’d already planned it.
           “And after dinner, why don’t we stay at that hot springs hotel at the edge of town?” Ino continued
           I could appreciate how they were trying to be subtle while at the same time completely failing at it.  I wanted to say something snippy, but I decided to be gracious instead.  “That would be nice.”
           “Okay, we’ll have to ask Naruto which day is good for him,” Ino said, giving me a wink and taking my arm.
           “Yeah,” I said.  “…thanks.”
           Ino stood up on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek.
 - 4 -
             I shifted on my elbows, staring at the decorative hotel headboard.  It was gaudy, and awful, and I hated it.
           “Nothing, Sas’?” Naruto asked from behind me.
           I sighed.
           “You want me to… keep going?”
           “No.”
           “I don’t mind.”
           “I’m so glad you don’t mind eating my ass.”
           “Well I don’t.”
           “Just stop already.”
           Naruto sat back, leaning tiredly on his arms.
           I continued to stare at the godawful headboard.
           “C’mere.”
           “No.”
           “How can I love on you if you’re all the way over there?”
           “Don’t come anywhere near me with that ass mouth.”
           Naruto let out a long-suffering sigh and got up. I heard him gargle in the bathroom before he came back, lying next to me and pulling me over to him.  “There are other ways to be intimate.”
           I took one look at his exhausted face and held in all my snips and sarcasm.  “Yeah,” I said, touching his face.
           Naruto grinned, rubbing his nose against mine.
           I felt like shit.
           Naruto was focused completely on me.  I knew that he was stressed out beyond belief, with the daimyo of the Land of Water threatening to stockpile bombss, and the raikage refusing to sign the new peace treaty in light of all the protestors against Naruto and Sakura’s reforms.  It seemed like the whole world was turning against him.  Then there were the other everyday problems, like the separation from his children, or his mentally insane partner.
         But Naruto put all of that aside, kissing me adoringly and asking, “What can I do for you, my gorgeous boy?”
           “No.”
           “My handsome gentleman caller.”
           I snorted.  “No.”
           “My Sasuke?”
           “Fine.”
           “Heh.  Mine,” he said, smothering me in affection.
           “Yours,” I said quietly, threading my fingers with his. “Mine,” I added, bringing his fingers to my lips.
           “Always,” he said.  His lips turned up in the softest smile.
           I curled into his chest so I wouldn’t have to look at him.
           Naruto started humming to himself, stroking my hair and pushing chakra through his fingers.
           I rested my hand on his chest, pushing back.
           “Hey, since we’re already naked and all, wanna take another bath?” Naruto asked suddenly.
           “We already took one…”
           “Hence the ‘another’.  We’re here at this nice hot spring, might as well enjoy it.”
           “That’s not what you want to do.”
           “Yeah, it is.  That’s why I suggested it.”
           “Naruto,” I said, putting a tingle into the chakra I was pushing into him.
           He gasped, eyes going half-mast.
           “Why don’t you do what you want to do?” I suggested, kissing his jawline.
           He tilted my face up, eyes crinkled with confusion.  “I am doing what I want to do.  I’m spending time with you.”
           “Ugh.”
           “Don’t ‘ugh’ at me!”
           “Let’s fuck, okay?  Let’s just fuck.”
           “I would love to, but you know.  It’s hard for me to keep it up when you’re acting like a dead fish.”
           I stared at him, trying to comprehend being called a ‘dead fish’.
           “I told you, it’s okay.  We can be intimate in other wa- holy shit, what are you doing.”
           “Sucking your dick,” I said, staring up at him from between his legs.
           “You don’t have to-”
           “Shut up!”
           Naruto blew air into his cheeks, keeping quiet.
           “I want to do this for you.  I want to.  And you want me to, too, right?”
           He hesitated.
           I breathed on him.
           He started nodding his head vigorously.
           “Then just be quiet and enjoy.”
           Naruto nodded again.
           I circled him with my hand, gripping lightly as I lowered my head.
           “Oh, fuuuuck,” he breathed out, grabbing my shoulder.  I felt his claws cut into my skin.
           I waited until our eyes met, his gone red, and then I moved.  I knew what Naruto liked, knew where to touch and how to use my tongue.
           It had been a while, and Naruto didn’t stand a chance.
           He forced my face into him as he came. “Holy shit.”
           “You needed that.”
           “Yesss,” he breathed out, petting the hair soothingly that he had been yanking.
           “So all that bullshit about there being other ways to be intimate?”
           “Lies.  Complete and utter lies.”
           “At least you’re finally being honest.”
           “I… yeah…  Okay, not having sex sucks.”
           “I’m sorry.”
           “It’s not your fault.”
           “Uh, yes, it actually is.”
           “Would it make you feel better if I blamed you?”
           “…yes…” I said quietly.
           “Fine, it’s all your fault.  You better blow me ten times a day to make up for it.”
           “Ten?”
           “Or eleven if you’re up to it.”
           I stared at him.
           Naruto smiled, touching my cheek.  “This was what I needed, sweetie, thank you so much.”
           “You’re thanking me for a blow job?”
           “Yes.  That should tell you something about the quality of your services,” he said, pulling me up to him so we could kiss.
           Naruto never cared if I had a mouthful of come.
           We kissed and cuddled for a while, before I decided I couldn’t stand it anymore and went to get ready for bed.
          Naruto followed.  He grinned at me in the mirror as we both brushed our teeth.  He looked… lighter, happier.
           It made me feel like shit.
           Sometimes I wondered why he didn’t just leave me. I knew that he could now.  I pushed him to it.  Before I tried to kill myself, he would never have left.  But I just kept pushing, trying to find the limit.
           I think our relationship was still alive because of that limit.  But it also made me feel insecure sometimes.  Like now.  Because Naruto could do better, so why didn’t he?
           “Don’t make that face,” Naruto said, poking me in the side.  “What else can we do with our kid-free night?  Oh, I know!  Let’s watch a movie!  With swearing and sexual content!”
           “Wow, Naruto, you really know how to go all out.”
           He stuck out his lower lip at me.  “When do we ever get to just watch a movie together?”
           “Whatever,” I said, stepping back into the room. “Pick out one that doesn’t suck.”
           “Of course!”
           We cuddled together in our hotel robes, watching a terrible action movie that Naruto insisted wouldn’t suck.  I didn’t really care.  It was fun to needle him.
           I tried to keep the self-doubt at bay.
           It was suffocating.
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kuriquinn · 7 years
Text
Penthesilea [19/20]
Cover & Disclaimer:
Chapter Summary: No one will notice if he disappears after all of this is writ into law. He is, after all, notorious, and even his own people likely want to forget that he exists. Naruto aside, there’s no one among the Senju forces left to see him as anything but a monster.
Chapter Beta: None beyond my own two eyes and at the moment. Since I’m finishing the fic this week, I’d say all edits will be forthcoming within the next few weeks as my beta has time to look through everything.
AN: Welp. We’re nearing the end. One more chapter and possibly an epilogue to go.
Sasuke wakes to the smell of antiseptic in the air and the sound of hushed voices. Somewhere to his left, Naruto’s chakra is calm and familiar, yet a sense of surprise and dismay washes over him.
“You idiot,” he rasps. His voice is raw and gravelly, and it hurts to talk. “You were supposed to kill me.”
“Well, I gave it my level best,” the other man says dryly, “but a certain healer we both know had a more convincing argument. I happen to like my head where it is.”
Sasuke opens his eyes—and he can see again and inclines his head to the left. It hurts more than he likes but he fixes the blond man with a glare. Naruto sits beside him, face covered in bandages but smirking at him nonetheless. It irritates him.
“I was meant to die,” Sasuke slowly, as if talking to a particularly stupid child. “If I live, it makes it possible for the war to continue. You’ve allowed sentiment to jeopardise that. I thought you understood.”
“Oh, I understood,” Naruto mutters. “I thought it was stupid, but I understood. Everything with you Uchiha is death and sacrifice and drama…” He waves dismissively. “You got what you wanted—the world saw me kick your ass. And then they saw Sakura show up and save it.”
Sasuke can’t find his voice at this, and can only stare at Naruto in surprise.
“Mm-hmm,” the other man nods. “The people were calling for your death, and she stepped in and said that peace should not be begin with the spilling more blood. That you’ll be tried for your crimes, and an appropriate—and useful—punishment will be found for you.”
Sasuke frowns in thought.
Exile or hard labour, most likely.
He stares up at the ceiling of the large tent overhead; in the distance, he can still hear the sound of rushing water. He thinks they must have set the tent up around him, which means his condition was serious if he couldn’t even be moved. And yet…
It doesn’t escape his notice that a certain individual is conspicuously absent. He wonders if he might have dreamed her presence before he passed out for the last time.
He has to stop himself from asking about her. Instead, he wonders, “Why can I see?”
“While she was healing you, Sakura found out you had the same thing as Itachi,” Naruto tells him. “But she knew what to do this time. And she had Tsunade-baachan and Rin helping. I’m still healing so I wasn’t much help.” He indicates the bandages on his face. “It’s a good thing she did heal you, because she found something in the process. Something about the nerves attached to your Sharingan putting pressure on part of your brain. The part that’s responsible for decision-making and rational thought. So basically, you were batshit crazy, but it wasn’t your fault.” He snorts. “Maybe that’s why you came up with such an extreme plan…oi! Sasuke! Are you listening to me at all?”
“Where is she?” Sasuke returns, finally losing the fight against asking.
Naruto’s open expression turns troubled for an instant, and then he beams. “Well, you can’t really expect her to hang around for something stupid like you, right? I mean, eyes aside, you heal pretty fast. And there’s a lot of legal stuff that needs doing that she’s responsible for now. You know she was made Tsunade-baachan’s heir a few weeks after the conclave disaster.”
“Hn.”
He was aware, but the answer doesn’t satisfy him. There is something false in Naruto’s voice that makes Sasuke’s stomach clench in dismay. He can easily interpret the truth.
Clemency aside, Sakura does not want to be around him more than necessary.
There is movement beyond the tent and then a familiar head pokes in through the flap.
“Well, you two have done it now,” Kakashi says dryly. “You know they’ll be talking about your little spat for generations.” The rest of him enters the tent. “I’m pretty sure they’re writing songs about it as we speak.”
“Hah. Just make sure they mention Sasuke’s bad hair,” Naruto quips.
Sasuke ignores him, gazing upon his former teacher. He isn’t sure how to apologise or bring up what as passed between them, and can only manage a flat, “You’ve survived.”
He doesn’t bother hiding the relief in his tone.
“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” Kakashi responds, surveying him with a critical eye.
Sasuke’s heart clenches again as he recognises the gesture as one Itachi used to perform when he thought he couldn’t see. He has forgotten over the course of the past year just how close Kakashi was to Itachi—and how grateful he once was to have the man as a mentor. He expects to face anger and repudiation for his harsh banishment of the man, but instead Kakashi’s eyes soften a little
“It seems you’re a lot more like your brother than any of us ever imagined,” he tells him quietly. “Just do us a favour and don’t try to pull something like that again?”
“I doubt there will be a need,” Sasuke says, lying back on his pallet.
“Well, about that…There’s some, er, unrest out there,” Kakashi says. “Official peace can’t be declared without the presence of the Senju and the Uchiha leaders. Which would be you, since you didn’t die and, apparently, Obito goes by Nohara now?”
He raises an eyebrow at Sasuke, who manages to remain carefully blank-faced this time. Perhaps taking note of this expression, Naruto tries to draw the older man’s attention. “Who’s officiating?”
“An emissary from the Land of Iron,” Kakashi says, naming a country that has been neutral since the first days of the war generations earlier. “Some samurai named Mifune.”
“Guess that means we have to get pretty-boy here ready,” Naruto snorts.
“He’s not the only one,” Kakashi points out. “The Uzumaki and the Hyūga are expected to be present as well.”
“Aw, shit…”
Naruto’s impending whining is interrupted as the tent flap rustles again, and Sai arrives bearing an armful of robes.
“This was the best we could find you both on short notice,” he says blandly. “Some overbearing Yamanaka woman insisted you not show up covered in each other’s blood.”
He sounds as if he doesn’t know why that would be an issue.
“Sounds like Ino,” Naruto snorts as he reaches for one of Sai’s offerings. “I didn’t know she was back.”
“She and an envoy from the Land of Wind arrived the day before yesterday, as soon as they heard the news,” Sai says. “In fact, many of the people from departed clans and from the surrounding villages have gathered.”
“It’s Sasuke’s fault…he’s been out of it for days. If you’d woken up sooner, we wouldn’t have to make such a big deal of this,” Naruto complains, while Sasuke silently accepts his own bundle of robes. He blinks in surprise when he notices that someone has taken the time to sew the Uchiha kamon onto the back and sleeves of the formalwear.
“Today is an historic event, and everyone wants to see it,” Kakashi points out. “You shouldn’t keep them waiting.”
“Yeah, yeah…though someone’s going to have to help me put this stuff on. The last time I wore montuki I was six…”
Sasuke chooses to struggle into his own, trying to ignore stiff limbs and aching bones. He suspects that he will have to get used to dressing by himself for the rest of his days, and so there is no reason to get used to someone else helping.
Sakura’s lack of presence seems even more pronounced just then, but it’s not as if he can blame her. Their last meeting before his battle with Naruto was poisonous. If she can’t forgive him, what hope does he have of the hundreds – maybe thousands – of people who suffered the ravages of this war because of him and his clan?
For the first time in his life, his feet itch to run fast and far away.
戦国時代
The valley down below the ruined waterfall teems with people. Even standing so far above them all, Sasuke finds himself overwhelmed by emotion. People cheer and cry and hold onto each other – friends and family and former enemies, wearing every colour and crest that he’s seen on the battlefield. He hears celebrations and speeches about dreams for the future and all good things to come.
Another tent has been set up on an outcropping above the valley, at the best vantage point for the people below. It is draped in the colours of the main clans and their vassals, and surrounded by representatives from each. When he and Naruto draw near, the excited murmuring goes quiet. Their eyes fly to the leader of the Uzumaki and there is awe; when their attention falls to Sasuke, it is distrust and wariness. Even the gazes of his own former vassals are cold.
He can’t blame them. If not for his grief-fuelled madness and his relentless pursuit of peace on his own terms, they might have had peace for almost a year. The rest of his clan, with the exception of Obito, might still be alive.
Sasuke clenches his fist, trying to fight down the sudden overwhelming desperation to leave. As he sees it, he has done his duty – he has ceded victory to Naruto and everyone knows it. There will be peace between the remnants of the Uchiha allies and those of the Senju, as well as their vassals. It’s a bright future – the one Itachi wanted – but not one Sasuke intends to be a part of.
No one will notice if he disappears after all of this is writ into law. He is, after all, notorious, and even his own people likely want to forget that he exists. Naruto aside, there’s no one among the Senju forces left to see him as anything but a monster.
Not any more at least.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Naruto says quietly, interrupting his thoughts. “And that’s not part of the agreement. Even if you’ve still got to go on trial, you’re supposed to get a second chance at a future, too.”
“There’s nothing left to build a future with.”
“I bet you’re wrong about that,” Naruto smirks. “And I can prove it.”
Sasuke frowns. “Whatever you think you know is wrong.”
“Oh yeah? So, there’s no one alive who you wouldn’t consider staying for?”
Sakura’s face flashes to the forefront of his mind, first the softly-smiling image he always carries close to his heart, and then the one of utter devastation that haunts his nightmares.
Chains from a failed past, he thinks grimly.
“Listen, just do me a favour,” Naruto continues. “Stick around at bit after all of this. Once we sign the treaty, there’s something you need to see. And if after that still decide it’s not enough to stay here, I’ll let you go without a fight.”
Sasuke narrows his eyes, wary, but he nods incrementally. Naruto lets out a triumphant hah, claps him on the back, and jogs ahead.
“No sense of decorum, that one,” Kakashi says appearing beside Sasuke in his usual unexpected fashion. “But he’s got a point.”
Sasuke side-eyes him, taking note of the way the man’s eyes glint in amusement. Not just at Naruto’s antics, it would seem.
“You know what he wants me to see,” he realises.
“Yes.”
“Are you going to tell me?”
“No.”
“You’re maddeningly unhelpful.”
“You deserve to stew for a bit.”
He can’t argue with that.
They cross the rest of the distance to the festive tent, where more and more of the clan representatives gather. Far down below, the crowds of people continue to swell, spreading across the fields of battle that have been littered with the dead and dying since the days of Madara and Hashirama.
“The Valley of the End,” Kakashi reminds him.
“An apt name.”
“It’s like I said. People are already turning you into legends. Are you sure you two didn’t plan this?”
Sasuke sighs and stares up at the sky, counting down the hours until sunset. “This part wasn’t planned.”
The crowd of clan representatives and witnesses part as they come through, and he can see that inside there are several sombre looking individuals. Hyūga Hiashi stands there, with his daughters on either side, and there is a young man – barely old enough to shave – loitering nearby in the colours of the Sarutobi clan. He glares about as if challenging anyone to remark on his presence there. Suigetsu is there as well, dressed in the Hozuki colours, his dead brother’s sword sheathed behind him, while the redheaded Uzumaki woman—Karin, Sasuke supposed—scowls at him across the way.
Sasuke takes up his place beside the Hyūga clan, most of whom glare at him with undisguised dislike, while Naruto stands opposite him. A serious-looking man waves for everyone to quiet down. The vassals and allies of the various clans take their places behind their respective leaders, but Sasuke notices that someone is missing.
“Where is Tsunade?” he asks. The peace cannot happen without agents from both sides.
Naruto looks sheepish. “Yeah, uh…about that…”
And that’s when Sasuke tenses.
He can sense her before she even enters the tent, with that same otherworldly awareness he has always had of her.
“Senju Tsunade has exhausted herself healing this man and is resting,” a familiar, albeit cool, voice says from behind him. “There’s no telling if she will ever wake again. But the fact that her last act was to heal her traditional enemy should tell you where she stands. As it is, before she fell into her sleep, my honourable adopted mother bestowed upon me legal agency. I am to negotiate on her behalf and on behalf of all her vassals.”
Slowly, Sasuke turns to acknowledge the speaker of these words, and when he finally sees her he feels as if he can’t breathe. He has never been one to care overly much about a woman’s looks, even after involving himself with the one facing him. And yet he can’t help be in awe by the sight of her now.
He has never seen Sakura clothed in anything other than her armour or disguised as a common villager. This figure before him is neither the warrior or the healer, but a regal politician. Her pristine white robes bear emblems of the Senju, although the obi she wears has a circle stitched into it – her own clan emblem. Her hair has been pulled back into two twists on the side of her head – not for fashion, he suspects, but to draw attention to the seal on her forehead. Finally, a gold kanzashi sits upon her crown; it’s old, he can tell, and suspects it may have belonged to a distinguished Senju ancestor.
No doubt a reminder to any who might question her status.
“I take it there have been witnesses to this granting of agency?” the samurai from the Land of Iron asks, moustache bristling in annoyance at the change to protocol.
“That’d be me,” Naruto interjects. “And before any old fogies want to bitch about needing Senju blood present for this, Tsunade-baachan and I are cousins, so kinship-wise I’ve got both the Senju and the Uzumaki covered.”
He grins, utterly irreverent and unrepentant in the face of such a serious occasion. Hinata smiles shyly at him, stars in her eyes, but Sakura’s face remains carved of marble as she stares down Mifune.
“I suppose that’s permissible,” he mutters, clearly uncomfortable.
“Then if you’re not opposed, let’s begin,” Sakura says. “The Senju wish is to sue for peace. Are the representatives of the other honoured clans in agreement with this?”
“The Uzumaki stand with the Senju,” Naruto says.
“As do the Hyūga,” Hiashi declares.
Everyone pauses, staring at Sasuke, but he ignores them. He has no intention of speaking until she looks at him, but she barely inclines her head in his direction. Despite her confident bearing and the set of her jaw, he senses apprehension. It’s clear in the way her fists move beneath her voluminous sleeves – as if they are clenching and unclenching.
“Uchiha-sama,” Mifune interrupts, voice tense. “It may simply be formality at this point, but what is the position of the Uchiha clan?”
Sasuke continues to stare at Sakura, silently requiring some sign of her acknowledgement before anything else happens. She must sense this, because slowly her gaze is drawn to his. At first, she focusses her eyes somewhere to the right of his jaw, but gradually, as if drawn by a magnet, they meet his own.
Everything beyond the two of them fades out, and Sasuke’s lungs feel too tight. The bewitching irises that were burned into his soul the first day he met her arrest him, searching him with something that is wary and tentative and hopeful all at the same time.
For a moment, they appear to find what they seek, but in that same instant she looks away, an angry flush of colour in her cheeks.
“Sasuke?” Naruto prompts.
“The Uchiha clan wishes for harmony,” Sasuke says, turning away from Sakura. “It is desired that there be peace in this land, now and into the future.”
It is as if the entire room breathes a collective sigh of relief.
“I will enter into this agreement under the condition of equal respect and trust with the Senju,” he continues. “Much of the onus falls upon those of my blood…and I will accept the consequences of my actions thereof. But the sins of the past cannot be erased either. There must be full penance from both sides before we move forward. To this end, I wish to convey the contrition of myself and my clan concerning the lives lost and pain caused. The slights we have all endured – both real or imagined – have no place in the future.”
Sakura looks back at him now, eyes calculating.
“Before any amends can be made, I would ask the forgiveness of the honourable representative of the Senju,” he concludes, “for any injuries incurred by the actions of my ancestors or myself.”
Naruto’s jaw actually drops, having not expected this. Sasuke is half in agreement, having not intended to say much today. He tries to blame the fact he is still recovering from his injuries, but when Sakura’s eyes suddenly begin to shine with something like hope, he stops trying.
“The Senju accept the apology of the honourable representative of the Uchiha,” she says quietly. “Though no words can expunge the past, we will do all in our power to build the future you speak of – and let old hatreds be buried with our dead.”
They gaze at each other a beat longer, and he feels an element of the same, unnameable force that has connected them all this time.
“Then we will now discuss the terms of this concord into law,” Mifune interrupts with a clearing of his throat. “It is hoped that from this day forward there will no longer be discord between you, but harmony and –”
A high-pitched, screeching wail interrupts Mifune’s words.
Sakura freezes, and her gaze leaves Sasuke’s faster than he can ever remember it doing. As the people gathered search for the noise – a crying child, it appears – and mumble at the inappropriate interruption, Sakura’s face flickers with a desperation he doesn’t understand.
Naruto is also suddenly uneasy.
“Sakura,” he says cautiously, although his eyes flit to Sasuke.
She doesn’t reply, instead bolting from the gathering of peacemakers.
“Senju-sama!” Mifune calls out in protest, but she ignores him, stumbling to the edges of the tent as quickly as her elaborate robes will allow. Sasuke moves to go after her, but Naruto’s hand stops him.
“It’s not what you think,” the blond man says, and is that amusement in his tone?
Sasuke’s head whips back to observe Sakura, who is reaching desperately into the crowd and – apparently – arguing with someone. He has to strain his ears to hear her.
“ – not the time, my lady –”
“ – don’t care if it’s a serious affair,” she snaps, “hand her over, she needs me!”
“ – Sakura-sama, it’s not decorous to –”
“I don’t care about decorum!”
“You can’t just –”
“I’d give her what she wants,” a blond woman standing beside Sai remarks dryly.
“Shizune, if you don’t hand me my daughter in the next thirty seconds, I guarantee you that peace will be the last thing on my mind!” Sakura growls.
Instantly a swaddled, wriggling and crying bundle is laid in her arms, and she holds it tight, making shushing noises and rocking it back and forth. The entire world has fallen away and she appears to be aware of none of it.
Sasuke can relate.
At that exact moment, everything else seems superfluous in the face of the truth he watches unfold before him.
Sakura has a child.
Sasuke’s heart clenches in his chest, and he has trouble breathing, but this time it isn’t due to awe for the woman before him. The last hopes he had of rekindling what they had dies away.
Because it has been a year, and what did he expect? That she would wait for him to come to his senses after he singlehandedly ripped apart every possible path leading to a future they could share with one another? She had people to heal and lead, and at the end of the day, she deserves to be with a man who can make her happy. He has utterly failed in this, and so he can’t even protest the gutting sensation ravaging him now.
She…deserves to be happy, he tells himself.
Long minutes of awkward whispering follow, with Sakura unable to quiet the fussing child. People are exchanging judgemental glances, and Mifune shifts in annoyance. Eventually, Sakura sets her shoulders, and stalks back to re-join the delegation, still cradling the baby. As she ducks into the tent, she bestows an expression of challenge anyone to criticise the sudden addition of crying child to the proceedings.
Sasuke suspects that it is only a general, healthy respect for what her fists can do which keeps anyone from protesting.
When Sakura’s eyes fall on his, something like dismay and apology enters them, confirming his worst fears. Then her demeanour becomes serious again and she strides forward, eyes on him and still bouncing the crying baby.
Her gaze never wavers, and it feels as if she’s using him as an anchor; he wishes she wouldn’t. The closer she gets, the more he must steel himself, refusing to look down at the child. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it or the idea of Sakura’s features blended with some other man. Instead, he does his best to meet her searching gaze without flinching.
Then she smiles a little, bouncing the infant.
“This isn’t exactly the way I imagined today would go,” she admits to him, as if they aren’t standing in the middle of stalled peace talks or being watched by the representatives of clans from both sides. As if these aren’t the first personal words she’s spoken to him in almost a year.
Or that the heart he spent his life pretending didn’t exist isn’t being shaved into a million tiny slivers as the seconds go by.
“The baby is a surprise,” he replies weakly.
She shoots him an urchin’s grin. “I imagine so.”
“Probably not as much a surprise at the other thing,” Naruto pipes up.
Sakura shoots a side glare at him. “Shut up, Naruto, this isn’t the place!”
“Oh, I don’t think there’s much choice of that right now,” he grins down at the baby. “She’s got a flare for the dramatic.”
“I suspect she comes by it honestly,” Kakashi remarks from several paces away. His visible features show no surprise, and Sasuke feels a sudden burning anger rising within.
Kakashi knew.
He and Naruto both knew about this, and they said nothing to him. And they had the gall to think he would be happy about it? And Sakura –
Sasuke knows that he has a long way to go in earning her forgiveness – perhaps he even deserves some pain for what he did to her – but this? He has never believed she would be the type to rub his face in his mistakes or remind him of that which he will never obtain.
One year can certainly change a lot, he thinks darkly.
“I suppose you’re right,” Sakura sighs now, apparently unaware of his inner turmoil. “It’s not like everyone won’t figure it out eventually.” 
“In case none of you are aware, we’re in the middle of something important,” Mifune bites out.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Naruto snorts, while Sakura bites her lip and the baby fusses louder.
“Shh, Sarada…sweetheart, don’t fuss now,” Sakura murmurs softly. “I think it’s making your father nervous.”
Sasuke instinctively looks to Naruto, expecting him speak up or joke or confirm his relationship to the child, but the blond man simply continues to laugh and shake his head as if the whole situation is highly entertaining. There is no other man around them that looks concerned for the child in the way a parent might – curious, perhaps, and possibly irritated judging from the expressions of the older delegates – but the father of Sakura’s child does not appear to be in the vicinity.
It makes sense, and his frustration must show on his face, because Sakura suddenly laughs.
“Is something about this funny?” he asks her.
“Sasuke-kun…” she sighs, shaking her head like he’s missing something. Maybe he is, because the familiar way she says his name takes his breath away. He barely notices her moving closer, putting herself and the infant into his personal space. “Would you like to hold your daughter?”
There’s an instantaneous collective intake of breath all around them, as the implication of Sakura’s words sets in. Then, everyone is talking at once – exclamations of disbelief and demands for clarification and Sasuke doesn’t hear any of it beyond the first explosion of his noise, because his own brain has stalled.
“Sasuke-kun, would you like the hold your daughter.”
Daughter.
His daughter.
“It’s not…it’s not possible…” he murmurs faintly, staring at Sakura in a silent, desperate request for explanation.
Sakura purses her lips and raises an eyebrow at him in challenge. And he knows exactly what she would say if they weren’t in such esteemed company.
Because the reality is, they were never careful. He always assumed that she was taking some form of preventative measures – after all, the battlefield is a dangerous place, especially for women. Unwanted advances are common, whether from the enemy or even amorous comrades. While it’s highly unlikely anyone could ever force themselves upon someone as strong as Sakura, it would be irresponsible of a female medic to compromise her usefulness by falling pregnant.
And yet…
Even if she was, there’s always a small chance…
In the background, Mifune tries to demand order, while the various clans and their vassals dissolve into confusion. The Hyūga seem apoplectic with shock and indignation (not Hinata, however).
“Uchiha Sasuke,” Naruto snorts. “The dumbest genius in the land—ow!”
He ducks an elbow from his redheaded cousin, who also seems unsurprised by the proceedings.  
Sakura lifts the fussing infant closer, and this time, Sasuke can’t stop himself from gazing down on her. The minute his eyes meet the baby’s, any infinitesimal shred of doubt vanishes as if it never was.
Because they are completely black.
It’s a distinctly Uchiha trait, possibly related to their dōjutsu, but Uchiha babies never have light eyes – even at birth. In addition to the inky black hair, Sasuke can already see smaller versions of his own features – nose, chin and cheekbones – and the way her face scrunches in displeasure at being held away from her mother. She appears to notice him looking down at her because she stills, and then he finds himself the subject of a direct, appraising look.
His heart stutters at the sight, because that look has been levelled at him before – first by his father, and then by his brother – only this time it’s with eyes identical to his own.
Sasuke doesn’t notice much more than that, however, because it is at this point that he promptly passes out.
つづく
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