gets into the driver's seat and immediately transforms into a feral beast

wait so im new to asoiaf why do people hate jaehaerys ?

jaehaerys is the bogeyman to every woman he comes in contact with. i can’t speak for everyone when i say this is the reason (there is no shortage of hateworthy men in asoiaf… looking at you hoster tully) but for me the absolute rage i have for jaehaerys comes down to him being at the center of every targ girl’s downfall. rhaena was disinherited for him. he disinherits his own daughter on account of her sex saying well she’ll be the queen as if that is any real power in the world he sets out to create. he cages his own wife (his sister) in the prison of queenhood leaving her to quote unquote more womanly pursuits like i don’t know getting rid of first right and domestic abuse? not to mention him marrying off his very young daughters to old ass men over and over again. not to mention the saera debacle and it’s many implications for his relationship to his daughters. and then of course when he disinherited yet another woman through rhaenys (and his own firstborn son just because his heir was a woman).

yuki congratulating the team and dric on his p4, god such an angry little man isn't he?

Ok but what do you think the experience of teaching the kids to drive was like for Alicole? I’m literally laughing at all of the images lollll

Alicole is gonna have some grey hairs after teaching 4 kids, their kids in particular, to put it one way.

all of them are, lovingly, nightmares when it comes to driving, and they give their parents a run for their money with how many ways they can be nightmares.

Aegon's a natural driver, he's just anxious as all hell, he has no trust in people or the rules of the road to actually keep him safe, he stalls and flounder's a lot, especially when crossing lanes of traffic to get somewhere. he's convinced driving is useless the first close call he experiences, cause this is just too dangerous and there are too many variables and people are stupid. but as time goes on and he is forced to drive more and more, his parents supporting him to just let himself get used to it, he begrudgingly goes for his permit and then his license, and while he's still an anxious driver, he doesn't mind it. (he likes driving late at night on back roads, cause there's never anyone out there). he definitely choked both his mum and his dad with his harsh stops, initiating the seat belt lock as they slam into them. Criston nearly lost it when Aegon stalled out on a 5-lane intersection, they don't like to talk about it.

Helaena is very literal when it comes to rules of the road. she's definitely like me when I first learned to drive, going exactly the speed limit, trying to drive straight by making sure her steering wheel is perfectly center instead of making little corrections here and there, so she ends up going more or less diagonally at times, a little heavy on the gas. plenty of things that makes her parent's anxious, especially cause a lot of people on the road get angry about her going "so slow". but once she gets the hang of it she's a good driver, though she prefer's to be a passenger princess, as she likes to be able to continue her daydreaming, and is a bit of a speed devil. definitely listens to audiobooks and bug documentaries in the car.

Aemond took forever to learn to drive, cause he not only had to learn the basics, but he had to learn to drive down an eye and with a bunch of driving accommodations. he's really committed and not all that bad at it, his parents anxiety mostly comes from the fact that he wants to drive a big ass truck and that he is a very confident driver with multiple large pinches of road rage. it's a lot less of them trying to teach him to drive, he picked that up over night, it's trying to keep him from committing vehicular manslaughter.

Daeron, like always, as he was raised by his siblings, picked up both the best and worst of them. He's very all or nothing, he's either going smooth and fast or slamming the breaks, super focused or his head's in the clouds, can be very apologetic on the road, but if he gets pushed around too much, he's going nuclear. he's truly their source of grey hairs, after Aemond, they make him wait till like... 18 or 19 to actually get his license, and it isn't helped by the fact that he's the baby of the family, so they're naturally a little overprotective. funnily enough, when him and his siblings are doing things they probably shouldn't, he's the designated driver, even prior to him getting his license (just wait till Alicole finds out they're going to have a stroke).

the kids all stressed them out, but they love them.

Bonus: The kids and their cars.

Aegon has an older Volvo sedan, it might have been golden at one point, but the paints worn to hell, so it's now a yellowy silver color, its like his baby, not in like... a car fanatic way, but in the teenage boy with his first care type of way... there's a difference I swear. its got black leather interior that he takes care of like his life depends on it, the passenger seat is only clean of trash for his sweet sister, the outside is all sorts of dinged and scratched (mostly prior to getting it) but he still takes it to get washed every two weeks, spends an hour in the self help section vacuuming it out and using all the sprays and tools. he defintly has to do a little dance to get it driving but he refuses to get rid of it till after the babes come and they need to upsize (he kept it and planned to give it to his kids when they got older, ignoring the fact it was pothole away from crapping out).

Helaena has a white kia soul, probably from the early 2000s. she saw it at a used car lot and liked 'face' it had (I think those cars look sorta... buggy? Idk I'm not a car person, it just felt like a car she'd float towards). takes good care of it, but isn't like Aegon. she keeps it clean, gets it cleaned once a month or two, and decorates the hell out of it. Crocheted steering wheel wrap, seat belt covers, seat covers, things to hang from her rear view mirror and hand holds, etc. (all the kids had her make ones for them too) and they're all bug/nature themed.

Aemond has a huge green truck, I'm talking diesel 4-door, you have to use the footstep to get into it and even then you need to like, pull on the seat to give yourself enough momentum. this thing is his baby, in the car freak sorta way. its getting cleaned every week, he puffs it and waxes it and does all that weird 30 different products, 12 microfiber towels, and a blood sacrifice shit car guys do. it has extra mirrors for him so he can see easier.

Daeron has a jeep, his car's newer, does basic upkeep on it, but is a little rough. he likes taking her (he definitely refers to his car as 'her' and 'she' and 'my girl') off road, likes taking his dog with him (mentioned in a previous post, he has a dalmatian) after going on hikes and to watering holes. she's seen some shit, is covered in a perpetual layer of dirt and dog hair, but he loves it. keeps the top of 90% of the year. his dog is his passenger princess. his siblings sit in the back 9/10 if Tess (his dog) is with them. only person who gets the dog booted is his mom and dad, and later on once they've grown a bit, his niece and nephew's. (I do think Daeron would be the sibling to fix up an older sports car, but I can't decide on what he would pick to fix up)

back at it again with OrangeJuiceVerse headcanons that only matter to me, this time it’s

Driving Related

except I don’t know the breeds of cars

• Stan: blue truck that used to be randys. It kinda starts crapping out on him in his late twenties but Kenny helps him keep it running and he won’t just sell it and get a new one bc the guy is a SENTIMENTAL LOSER and there are too many memories (c’mon he and Kyle having a lil stargazing date in the bed of it and that’s when they kissed for the first time aaaaa). It is kinda ancient tho. He named it Glamdring The Foe Hammer (curbs are the foes in question btw). Guitar pick hanging from his keys. He’s a pretty good driver except he blasts the music too loud, brakes abruptly for squirrels, and sucks at parking.

• Kyle: grey car since high school. He didn’t know what to name it so Cartman calls it the Bitch Mobile, and he takes great care of it, he’s one of those guys to have an organizer in the console. Despite the guys calling him “mom” and “grandma” he has HORRIBLE ROAD RAGE especially because he is obsessive about the rules of the road and obeying them exactly. The guys know they’re safest with him driving but the yelling at drivers who don’t use their blinkers makes him the last choice when the 5 drive lmao. Made a 97 on his driving test and almost retook it to get a perfect score.

• Tweek: silver suv that he got as a graduation gift from his parents (before he knew it was bought w drug money rip) he didn’t name it because that’s too much pressure. He HATES driving like he only got his license because he HAD to, and as an adult doesn’t do much more of it than errands around town. HAS to have the radio on an even number if he even allows music in the car at all and will go SO FAR OUT OF HIS WAY to avoid making a left turn without a light. Has so many unorganized emergency supplies in the back plus half his jackets and random shit he finds when out but doesn’t bother to bring inside.

•Craig: “nice and boring” black car that he keeps clean and simple. He named it Stripe (it does not have a stripe) and is LITERALLY THE BEST DRIVER IN THE OJV. Very calm and collected on the road even when Tweek’s in the passenger seat freaked out about them merging or something. Won’t let anyone behind the wheel other than himself and (if his husband is only going a short distance) Tweek (and Kyle that ONE TIME after they witnessed a gas station robbery and Craig had a meltdown). Guinea pig keychain, and his car always smells good.

•Kenny: also a truck guy, he fixed it up himself in hs and it isn’t particularly consistent about starting. Most of it is brown but one door is blue and the tailgate is green. Named it RESURRECTION. Radio doesn’t work and the seats are mismatched, he likes to say that it’s “made of spare parts just like himself” and is very attached to that thing. Even when he gets a new truck (baby blue, he named it Butterfly) after his art takes off, he keeps it around. One of those tacky hula dancers on the dash and SO many bumper stickers. He’s a decent driver, just reckless unless he has a passenger.

• Cartman: oh my god he totally has one of those stoner vans with a custom paint job in that 80s pondering my orb style of HIMSELF RIDING A FIREBREATHING CAT!!! (I will die on this hill) he calls it Eric Triumphant. Since he has the biggest vehicle and actually isn’t too bad of a driver (unless he’s trying to activate Kyle’s road rage) the m5 tend to use it for excursions. He picks the music though, every time, and sings LOUDLY.

• Marjorine: can’t drive bc ojv marj is, in fact, blind in the ninja star eye sorry queen

• Stan and Kyle take turns driving the other to school and sports every day in hs. Sometimes Marj and Ken will join if Kenny’s truck isn’t working.

• the group also coordinates occasional days where they all ride the bus for old times because THEY ARE ALL NOSTALGIC LOSERS, even the ones who won’t admit it.

Hey, just read your Vampire Silco fic part 2 and I really love it !

Especially the fact that Silco can't drive 😆 I have a question on this, is it a Silco thing or is it caused by his eye ?

Thank you! I had a lot of fun with it!

I also just headcanon he is a terrible fucking driver. Modern AU, current Arcane, this man drives on the sidewalk and complains that people are walking in the middle of the street

i NEED to do a big gender themes analysis of knives in tristamp i’m listening to the melanie martinez album and milk of the siren is soooo knives i’m going to lose it. i gotta write about him AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!!

i would love to do the Sinnerman questline

unfortunately i cannot drive worth shit in this damn game and they decide to make my hell worse to get this quest started

Anyway, I've had people flash their high beams at me at intersections to indicate I sound go first and it fills me with a great and terrible rage.

I would fight these people if I thought I would win.

oh left outside alone by anastacia how you get me <3

Some people should not own drivers licenses 🙄

Loves rage and by extenstion ptolemaea is slso about marginalized peopel and the mistake of wanting to be the oppressor instead of actually having the goal of eliminating oppression . Or something . Vaguely . the sentiment was there as uou can see

The incandescent rage I feel for the American healthcare system cannot be overstated.

everyone is liking my treadmill runs on strava...

tbh don't even want the eclipse rn take it back (for context I currently live around/in central Ohio) there are so many out of state people driving around causing so much backed up traffic and the very beginning of the eclipse doesn't start for another 2 ish hours (1:55pm) supposedly the peak coverage is around like 3:10-3:15pm

my drive home from my classes today took an extra 15 mins bc the highway was just stopped bc certain people wanted to merge into already super backed up lanes and ugh. I generally don't like driving anyhow, but this kind of disruption certainly wasn't helping.

finding out my friends aren’t constantly thinking about shooters at any given location definitely hard reset for me