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fanfoolishness · 4 years

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on the subject of rocks (SUF)

Steven and Jasper have a long-overdue conversation. Set two years after SUF, canon-compliant. A little angst, a lot of hope. ~2500 words.

***

Steven is eighteen years old when he decides he wants to try to speak with her again.

If she wants to, that is.

He thinks he’s ready. He thinks the conversation might dim the feeling of her fragments cutting into his palm, the weight of his crime crushing his heart, his gut, his gem. Therapy has helped a great deal. But there are still nights he wakes up panting, remembering what it felt like to let go, to hurt, to shatter, and he wonders.

If Jasper has the same terrible memories, the same haunting, then maybe they should talk about it.

He talks with Dr. Boverman for hours. He wants to be sure this is right. Not just for him, but he wants to make sure this won’t damage her further than he already has. They go round and round. They’ve spoken of so many things, old wounds that pierced and bled and fractured, but most of those wounds were done to him.

The blood on his hands is less than he’d once feared it was, but it still doesn’t scrub clean.

“It will always be with you,” Dr. Boverman’s calm voice says. “You shattered Jasper. You didn’t intend to, but it’s what happened.”

“I know,” says Steven, and the thought no longer incapacitates him with shame. It was terrible, violent, the worst possible action committed at nearly his lowest point. But he accepts it, now, accepts that this will stay with him always. That it should.

And yet --

He and Dr. Boverman strategize. Roleplay. Hours of scenarios, how to accept if she never wants to talk to him again, what to do if Jasper says she isn’t ready, what to do if she lashes out, what to do if she fights him, what to do if she bends her hands into the Diamond salute. Each scenario frightens him at first, sends his heart racing. The first time they talked about it he glowed pink again for the first time in months. But the terror fades a little every time they speak, and several weeks later, he thinks he might be ready.

***

Little Homeworld is always different and always the same. It’s a comforting flow of change, new Gems appearing each time he visits, old teachers moving on. His family is still there, of course, and he has plans to catch up with them tomorrow. But today -- today he wants to know if this is the right time.

If there will ever be a right time. And if there isn’t, he thinks he can make his peace with that.

He finds Jasper sitting on a fallen log at the edge of the forest, alone as he’d expected she would be. A sketchbook sits in front of her, colored pencils at her side. His footsteps crunch on autumn leaves.

“Jasper?” he asks hesitantly, ten feet away.

She turns to look at him, her form unchanged from the last time he saw her, the stripe through her eye disrupted, her horn broken. So she hadn’t gone to Yellow, then. A thread of fear mixed with guilt begins unspooling within him. Maybe he wasn’t ready after all.

Jasper snorts, a gruff smile spreading over her face. “I wondered if you’d stop by, one of these days. I heard some of the others say you were coming into town.”

“Hi,” says Steven hesitantly. He takes a deep breath, remembering his strategies. “I -- I’d like to ask you something, Jasper.”

“Shoot,” she says in disinterest, picking up a pencil. She makes scratchy marks against the sketchbook paper, scribbles he can’t quite make out.

He edges closer. “I was wondering… I’ve done a lot of thinking.”

“Sounds like you.”

Despite himself, he chuckles slightly. “All right, fair.”

“Thinking about what?” she asks.

“About you,” says Steven honestly. “And me. What I did to you. What we did to each other.” He lets out a long, tremulous sigh, returning mentally to his gemstone, taking deep breaths with his diamond as his anchor. “And I wanted to see if you wanted to talk about it. It’s okay if you don’t, or if you want me to leave you alone.” Breath. Another. “I’m so sorry, Jasper.”

She glances up at him, giving him an odd look, then gestures beside her with a powerful shoulder. “Go on. Sit down, already.”

No ‘my Diamond.’ He’s more relieved than he’d expected to be. He sets down his bag and sits down on the ground, resting against the log instead of sitting on top of it with her. He sinks into the soft loam, leans against the fallen trunk. It’s more comfortable than it looks. A few feet between them seem like miles, or inches, he isn’t sure.

Jasper regards him coolly, tilting her head slightly to one side. “Why’d you really come here?”

“To talk to you,” says Steven, his hands folded and calm in his lap, his breathing slowing. “You told me once that I was the one who needed help. I’ve been getting it.”

“Told you,” she says, but there’s no gloating in her voice. She purses her lips, face tensed in concentration. At last she says, “So have I.”

He blinks, hands coming apart, fingers falling open. He raises his head and gazes up at her, wondering if he’s heard her right. “You have?”

“You told me to do something better with my life,” says Jasper, picking up her sketchbook. At this angle he can see what she’s drawn. It’s a rock -- what was it with her and rocks -- but a tenderly realized rock, craggy edges shaded in carefully, mosses and lichens rendered in textured shades of green and brown.

“Jasper, that’s -- that’s really beautiful,” says Steven. He’s been working on his art, too, but he’s no good at the type of delicate detail work laced into her sketch. “Who taught you?”

“Ruby,” she says. She sets the pencil down beside her, hands tensing on the sketchbook. “I don’t go to Lapis’ classes.”

“Right.” Part of him is saddened to hear it. Another part of him is grateful for Lapis’ sake. He wonders which of them he’s most like. “It seems like you’ve really taken to Little Homeschool. I’m glad for you.”

A small scoff of a laugh, but it softens at the end into something more like a real smile. Jasper shakes her hair, its white strands catching in the dappled sunlight beneath the trees. She looks… calm, like this, and it’s not a state he ever remembers seeing her in before.

“What about you?” she asks suddenly.

“I’m doing well,” he replies, still shocked that they’re talking at all. It’s going far better than most of the scenarios he’d practiced with Dr. Boverman. “I visit with my family every couple of weeks. I’ve been spending a lot of time in cities lately. All the noise and hustle and bustle… it’s different, sometimes it’s overwhelming, but I like the energy. It’s… good. It’s really good. Connie and I meet up every week. And I talk to my therapist.”

“What’s that?”

“A therapist? Um… it’s like a healer for human minds. But it’s not instant, like with Diamond powers. It takes time. A long time.” He gives her a small smile. “Sometimes it’s two steps forward, one step back, but overall, I’m feeling a lot better than… before.”

Jasper considers his words. She leans down, and he realizes a shiny blue beetle is crawling over the tip of her boot. He tenses, waiting.

Jasper watches the beetle go, making no further move toward it. It ambles away peacefully.

“You are not my Diamond,” she says into the silence.

“No,” he agrees, and something inside of him unclenches. “I -- I’m a Diamond. But mostly I’m just Steven.”

“I hated you for so long.”

He fights an urge to be sarcastic, to bite back at her. This doesn’t sound… angry. He keeps quiet, and lets her speak.

Her hand clenches into a fist, heavy against her thigh. “I thought that if you could stop being weak, if I could make you stronger, I would have my Diamond again. My purpose. Someone to protect, someone to serve.”

She stares into the woods, and he remembers his hands and legs awash in pink, the glow as he tore through the trees beneath a starry sky. He remembers jagged laughter, his gem humming, a power crueler than he’d ever felt before --

“I know.”

“Don’t ‘I know’ me when I’m talking to you,” she snaps. “I’m trying to -- arrgh. I thought this would be easier.”

“You thought what would be easier --” he starts to ask.

“You know. Talking. Ugh. It’s nothing like a good fight. The target keeps changing.” She crosses her arms, still staring off into the trees. The sun shifts overhead, casting her face in shadow.

“That’s called a conversation,” he says gently. “Battles are battles, but a hard conversation… it can hurt.”

“Now you tell me,” says Jasper, and it takes him a solid minute before he realizes it’s a joke. He laughs, but it’s too late, and Jasper shakes her head. “Look. Steven. I -- I’m sorry.” The words are hasty and fumbled and fast, but he catches them, barely.

“You’re sorry?” Steven yelps. “But I’m the one who shattered you.” It still comes out like a dirty word, almost two years later. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to fully say it, if he’ll ever be able to act like it hasn’t scarred him. He hopes not. “I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.”

“You have. Just now, and before,” she says, shrugging. “But I only said I’d teach you to get you to fight me. And you did. And I lost.”

“Because I lost myself, I lost who I was, you didn’t make me --”

“But you were off-color,” growls Jasper. “You were -- what do you humans call it again --?”

“Sick,” he says softly. Such a small word. It barely begins to cover everything that went wrong two years ago, but he knows CPTSD won’t mean a thing to her, and that’s okay, that’s not what he’s here for.

“Sick,” she repeats. “And I --” She digs her hands into the tree bark, small flakes of it crumbling beneath her shaking hands. “I made you worse. So that I could get something I wanted. I failed to protect my Diamond from myself.”

“Jasper --” he gasps. “You’ve been blaming yourself? For me shattering you?”

“Someone’s got to do it,” she huffs.

He rubs the back of his neck with his hand, tries to take another deep breath, reminds himself to return to the thought of his gem as a centering point. He can do this. He can do this. It’s just, this isn’t how he thought it would go at all.

He closes his eyes. Remembers the way she screamed at him, punches in the gut, the face, the sides. Remembers the way she goaded, the way she pressed, how proud she looked of how frightening he’d become. He doesn’t know what to say. “I -- I was sick,” he manages finally. “I -- you’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

He shakes his head at that. “But I’m still the one who did it. I still have to take responsibility for hurting you,” he demands.

Jasper gives him an appraising look. “Hmph,” she says, and he doesn’t know if it’s a hmph of agreement or a hmph of disdain. It’s hard to tell with Jasper. She holds the silence an uncomfortably long time before she says, “Maybe.”

“This isn’t how -- I wanted you to be mad at me,” Steven admits. “I wanted you to be pissed off! To tell me to get away from you!”

“I can still do that,” says Jasper, apparently turning the thought around in her mind. She chuckles, very slightly. “But if that’s an order, I’m ignoring it.”

He laughs. “You’re full of surprises, Jasper.”

“Am not.”

“You kind of are.”

“Don’t be so surprised then.” She picks up her pencil, returning to her sketch. Grass starts to grow beneath her rock, verdant blades springing up from dark soil.

“I thought you hated the local ecosystem.”

“It has its functions,” says Jasper begrudgingly. “If I leave the grass it provides better contrast for the rocks.” She picks up a different shade of green, adding highlights. “It’s still puny. But it has a purpose of its own.”

“What’s yours?” he asks, then kicks himself for getting so personal.

“Only if you tell me what yours is.”

Two years ago, the request would have paralyzed him. Two years ago, he’d have panicked, spun out with a lie, tried his best not to think about who he was and what he was supposed to do.

He just smiles. Breathes in the fresh green air, so different from the machine-smell of the big city. Beneath the green there’s a hint of salt, the promise of the sea. It smells like home.

“My purpose is to be Steven,” he says simply. “To be myself. To grow and change. To love myself, regrets and all.”

“Sounds all right,” says Jasper begrudgingly. “Sort of like mine these days.” She turns to him, frowning. “You got something to write on?”

“Uh, let me see.” He rummages in his bag. “Oh hey! I have my sketchbook, too.”

“Well?” Jasper says, pointing to the boulder before her. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

He flips through his sketchbook, passing pages of silly Connie faces, a self-portrait in pink and white, Lion poses, CPH classic fanart. He settles on a blank page and Jasper shoves a green pencil into his hand. He feels smooth wood, the lightness of the organic drawing implement rounded and gentle in his palm. No sharp edges, no jagged fragments, no terrible weight dragging his clenched hand into the hot water. He blinks back tears.

The sunlight shifts, the golden hour arriving, brilliant light shafting through the leaves above and lining the forest floor in spun-gold glory. His hands don’t quite have this kind of magic in them, but he tries his best, his drawing including sketches of the rock, the grass, the trees beyond them. He adds a gleaming line of yellow at the edges. He’ll show it to Dr. Boverman at their next appointment.

“Not bad,” says Jasper, peering over his sketchbook. “You added the trees.”

“It just felt more complete that way,” he says. He glances at her drawing. The rock is resplendent, resting on gold-touched grass, light captured in patches against the mosses and lichens. “You can see all of this? It’s incredible, Jasper.”

“It’s just what it looks like,” she says stubbornly. “It’s a good challenge.”

“Like a conversation,” he says, half to himself.

“Something like that.” The breeze flutters past them, carrying faint birdsong, the far-off scent of the sea.

“Thanks for talking with me, Jasper. I know you didn’t have to.”

“Of course. I do what I want,” she replies, and her voice is gentler than he’s ever heard it.

#steven universe future #steven universe #suf #jasper #steven universe jasper #do not tag as ship!#the future #suf spoilers #steven universe spoilers #steven universe future spoiler #fanfoolishness' steven universe fic #fanfoolishness steven universe fic #fragments

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readbeneaththelines · 5 years

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Captured Moments Pt. 7

A/N: You are an artist given the chance to work with BigHit Ent. as their Creative Art Director. Getting to spend time with BTS, you form a friendship with them. But With Namjoon, could it grow into something more?

Characters: Namjoon x Artist!Reader

Warnings: soft Yoongi (Yes it is definitely a warning), soft and fluffy OT7, fluffiness galore

Word Count: 5344

cr to gif owner

Joon: can you go for dinner?

You phone screen lit up with Namjoon’s message. You couldn’t help the little flutter of your heart when you saw his name. You told him you would be available. Asking the when and where, you set your phone down and picked up your graphite pencil. Closing your eyes, you recalled how Yoongi looked in his studio, body fully concentrating on his music. You sketched out a quick rendering of the image, finishing just in time to meet them for dinner. You gathered up your bag, locking the studio behind you as you left. When the doors to the elevator opened, you were surprised to see Namjoon getting ready to step out. In his hand was a single flower, your favorite.

“What’s this for?” you asked as he handed you the flower.

“Just because. I saw it earlier today, and it reminded me of you.” You held the flower to your chest, rising on tiptoes to plant a peck to his cheek.

“You really are adorable, you know that?” His cheeks blushed a soft shade of pink as his dimples grew in size with his smile.

“Hush! I am not adorable.” You just smiled and took his hand. “Let’s go get dinner.” You stepped into the small space, his hand still in yours as you rode down to the first floor. As the doors opened, he peeked out, and seeing no one around, he pulled you out by your hand and walked down the hall. You were both greeted by the other members just outside the doors. When you noticed the small gathering of female fans outside at their usual corner, you dropped his hand from yours. He looked down at you, then followed your gaze to the fans. He shook his head, then let you climb in the van surrounded by the others to hide you from watchful eyes. Once inside the hidden confines of the vehicle, he took your hand back in his instantly. No one said anything, just glancing at the two of you in amusement. The van dropped the other six members off at the dorm, and you gave Namjoon a surprised questioning look. “I asked you to dinner, not all of us. I just wanted to spend some time with you. Is that okay?”

“Yes, of course. I just wasn’t expecting a date. But don’t get me wrong, I would love to spend time with just you. Do they know?” He looked out the window, then back at you.

“Jin knows pretty much everything, yes. The others think we are just going to discuss some artwork. When the times comes, I will let the rest in on what they need to know.” You agreed, thankful to just have some one-on-one time with Namjoon. You two had not had any alone time since his shoot, and you were looking forward to it, almost too eagerly. You wer dropped of at a little Korean Barbeque diner, the place empty except for the two of you.

“Ajumeoni” Namjoon called out as you entered. An older woman came from the back, a huge grin lighting up her features when she saw the two of you. “Joonie, dear! How are you? And who is this lovely lady?” She took your hand, turning you around as she looked you up and down. “A very pretty woman you have here, Joonie. She must be someone special, hmm?” The woman’s eyes smiled at Namjoon, making it hard to resist smiling back. “Yes, special indeed. I was wondering if we could keep you open for just a bit longer than usual? I know it is late, but.” She cut him off mid sentence.

“Joonie, anytime you want to come here and get away, you know I would be happy to allow it. I am just working on a few things in the back. Do you want your usual?” He told her yes, and to make it a double order. He pulled out a seat for you, sitting across from you as the woman brought you both a drink.

“She had known us since our debut days. She is like family to all of us.” She brought the drinks, leaving just as quietly so you and Namjoon could have some privacy. “I have been looking forward to this since the day of my shoot.” he said, taking a sip of the cold beer. You followed suit, letting the cold amber liquid relax you. You had to admit that you had been waiting for an opportunity to spend some alone time with him. The short bursts you had recently were not quite enough. Time like this was what you had been craving, and it seemed like he had been too.

He reached across the small table, taking your hand in his. Running small circles on the back of your hand, he looked you in the eyes. “I was wondering if, maybe, we could take the next step?”

You raised an eyebrow. “The next step?”

“Yes, the next step. Make this” he waved his hand between the two of you. “A bit more official. Jin knows, and the other members would keep it secret if I asked them to. All we ever want for each other is for them to be happy. I know that we still have to be careful in public, but I don’t want to hide how I’m feeling from the others.”

You thought about what he was saying. You had to agree, that you were really beginning to care for Namjoon. Of course you cared about all of them, but he was becoming someone special to you. If the others knew, you would be able to spend more time with him even if it was around them. “Okay. I think it would be a good idea to let them in on things. Seeing that we are getting closer, it would naturally be the next step, right?” he gave your hand a squeeze. Just then, your food arrived. You ate your meal while talking about different things. He talked about the interview tomorrow and then Yoongi’s shoot afterwards. You told him about the sketches you had been doing after meeting with each of them individually. “It’s kind of like my way of remembering the little things. Each of you have a little quirk that stands out in my mind, and I just have the need to draw them.”

Once dinner was finished, Namjoon walked you outside. The dorms were nearby, just a few minutes walk. “Want to come hang out with us? I’m sure Jin and Jungkook are still up playing video games. I’m not ready to leave you quite yet.” He wrapped his arm around your waist, walking with you at a slow pace. The nighttime walks were some of your favorites. Just the two of you, no hustle and bustle of everyday life. Now was the times that he could relax a bit, and be himself. Before you knew it, you had arrived at the dorms. Taking a deep breath, you followed him inside.

Sure enough, Jin and Jungkook were sat at the couch, game controllers in hand. Jimin and Taehyung were sitting at the counter, mugs of hot tea in hand. Hoseok and Yoongi were nowhere in sight, and you figured they were already in bed. “Hey Joon. Oh! Hey Y/N! What brings you here?” Namjoon took your hand in his once more, giving you a confident squeeze. Jin and jungkook looked up to see you standing close to Namjoon. “Y/N!” they said in unison.

“Guys, we have something to tell you.” He led you to the couch opposite from Jin and Jungkook, taking a seat after you sat down. “Y/N and I have been, well, kind of seeing each other the past few weeks. We wanted to tell you all, so you wouldn’t find out some other way. “ Jungkook spoke up.

“Namjoon hyung, we already knew this.” Shock etched Namjoon’s expression, looking between him and the others. “You did?” he asked.

“Well, yeah. We kind of figured when you took extra breaks for lunch and began taking extra bathroom breaks.” Jin laughed and Jimin just about fell out of his seat.

“Joon, you don’t think we are that blind do you? Every time her name is mentioned, you get all doe eyed and get that goofy grin. It’s about time you two moved forward.”

“Were we that obvious?” you questioned Jimin.

“Well, not that obvious, but we knew something was up when we kept seeing you two in the cafe, talking. We just gave you space to tell us on your own. We’re all really happy for you two, just so you know.” Jimin stood and made his way to you, wrapping you up in a hug.

“Thank you Jimin, That really means a lot.” You hugged him back, your eyes becoming blurry. They wrapped up their game and tea, telling you goodnight before heading to their rooms. It was finally just you and him, alone at last. He lifted his arm so you could snuggle into his embrace, you head coming to rest on his shoulder.

“Well, that was easier said than done.” he quipped, kissing the top of your head.

“Yeah. I’m surprised they didn’t say anything until now.” He hummed, letting his head fall back onto the couch.

“I know you need to get home and get some sleep, but I’m not ready fro you to leave yet.” he said more to himself than you.

“I know the feeling. I have kept you up way too late. You have a busy schedule tomorrow. I will see myself out, it’s a short walk home from here.” You knew you had to get up, but being here in his arms felt too good to leave. You buried yourself deeper into his chest, the beating of his heart and the slow steady breaths lulling you to sleep.

Namjoon felt your body relax against his. He looked down at your face, a feeling of awe filling him when he saw you sleeping peacefully. He scooted out from under you, grabbing the blanket for the chair. Carefully, he laid you down, stretching out in front of you so you wouldn’t fall off. He threw the blanket over your bodies, sighing contently as you nestled in the crook of his arm. For the first time, since he could ever remember, he felt at home.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee and breakfast cooking tickled your nose and roused you from your slumber. You felt the even rise and fall of someone’s chest under your head. Blinking slowly you opened your eyes to see Namjoon sound asleep, his arms wrapped around you in a protective manner. You saw the kitchen light on, and heard Jin singing softly. Tapping Namjoon’s arm, you watched as recognition flashed across his features. A smile tugged at his lips when he saw you were still lying next to him.

“Good morning sleepyhead.” He whispered.

“Good morning. Wait! Shit, Joon! I fell asleep here? How is this going to look when I try to leave?” you whisper screamed. He chuckled, the sound reverberating in his chest. He climbed off the couch, pulling at your hands to get you up. Sheepishly, you followed him to the dining area.

“Morning lovebirds. You ready for some breakfast?” Jin called out from the kitchen doorway.

“Yeah, morning you two. Nice to see we have company for breakfast.” Hoseok said as he exited the bathroom. You hid your face in Namjoon’s chest, the soft rumble of his laugh making you even more embarrassed, if that was even possible. “Don’t be shy, Y/N. You know you are always welcomed here.” Taehyung added as he helped Jin set the table for everyone.

Bashfully, you sat down, your hair in disarray and eyes still puffy from sleep. Namjoon, stretched out his arms, a bit of his stomach coming into view when he did so. You swallowed hard, hoping no one noticed your staring. When he stood, your still sleepy mind allowed itself, for just a moment, to imagine what it would be like to see him getting up from your bed. To see his tousled hair, heavy lidded eyes, and just…

“Y/N? You gonna join us?” Yoongi called from the hallway. You shook your head to clear yourself of the thoughts. You could sense your cheeks heating up and your heart beginning to race.

“Uh, yeah.” You were hyper aware of seven sets of eyes on you. You felt like one of your sculptures, standing under the critical eye of others. You absentmindedly smoothed your hand over your hair, noticing how messy it had become overnight. He took a seat next to you, handing you a plate and some coffee. You inhaled the aroma as the coffee warmed you from the inside out. The food, as you quickly found out, was delicious. “Do you always cook like this?” you mumbled to Jin, mouth full of savory eggs and rice.

“When I get the chance, and having a guest is as good a reason as any.” he replied, sipping on his own mug of coffee. Breakfast was spent talking about the upcoming interview and the later shoot for Yoongi’s scene. Helping clear the table, you motioned for Namjoon to come over. He stepped up beside you, taking the plates from your hands.

“How am I going to get out of here without someone seeing me?” you leaned in close as you talked. He winked, making you more nervous than you already were. “We will figure it out, don’t worry yourself over it. Now, I’m going to go take a shower, you can talk with the others. When I am done, you can take one to if you want.” You suddenly felt flustered, clearing your throat a little to loudly. “I, umm, I can take one when I get home.”

“You sure you don’t want to join him?” Hoseok hollered from the lounge chair he was sprawled out across.

“Hoseok! Stop that!” Namjoon’s cheeks were matching yours in color. He laughed it off nervously as he watched you for any reaction.

You glared at Hoseok before responding. “I’m sure that would not look very good. Besides, that isn’t very lady like, now is it?”

“You know I was joking Y/N. Sorry if I offended you.” Hoseok lowered his head in shame. You knew he was kidding, but you didn’t want Namjoon to feel uncomfortable about having you stay the night there. “It’s okay Hoseok, anyway I don’t have a change of clothes, and if I were to show up at work in the same thing, they might think I have nothing to wear.”

Namjoon smacked Hoseok’s head as he walked by. You heard the shower starting, which made you realize you needed to use the bathroom. “Is there a bathroom I can use? I need to freshen up.” They shook their heads, a sly smirk coming from Jin. “You can just go on in. He’ll be in the shower, so you can use the sink to freshen up.”

“You all are hopeless, you know that? I’ll just wait.” you sat down, uncomfortable with the fullness of our bladder. “Fine!” You huffed out as you walked to the bathroom. Knocking on the door, you awaited Namjoon’s answer.

“Who is it?” you heard him over the running water.

“It’s me. I have to use the bathroom, may I come in?” Why you were so nervous, you had no idea. You had been in the same bathroom with other people present before. But they weren’t Namjoon.

“Come on in.” he said, talking loudly over the sound of rushing water. You opened the door, thankful that there was a wall separating the shower and toilet. You went as quickly as you could, making sure to warn him of the flush before you did it. “I’m turning on the sink, let me know if it gets too cold.”

“It’s good, I’m finished.” He said behind you. Looking into the mirror, there he stood, hair still dripping with water and nothing but a towel around his waist. You locked eyes with him, your hands gripping the counter to steady yourself.

He was beautiful. The way his bangs hung in his eyes, droplets of water hanging on the ends. His muscles were outlined under his bare skin. The towel hung precariously low on his hips, the slit exposing his left thigh. You were frozen, unable to speak or move. When he looked at you, his jaw twitched and his eye grew darker. Your eyes followed the trail his tongue made over his bottom lip before he pulled it between his teeth. It took everything you had to tear your gaze from his, turning around to face him. You leaned back on the counter, your arms shaking as they held you steady. Unaware that your mouth was slightly parted and you were blatantly staring, you let your gaze take in the visage before you. He was not only beautiful, but damn, he was outright sexy. You had seen him in several videos, those dark eyes piercing into the viewer’s soul. He had a way of looking right into yours. His hand reached up, fingertips tracing along your jaw. You visibly shivered at his touch. You exhaled shakily, the breath you had been holding burning your lungs. All you could imagine was his lips on yours, his still damp bare skin under your hands as they splayed across his chest.

You felt the slight sensation of his hand on your waist, finding its way under the hem of your shirt. With one motion, you were pressed up against him, the heat from his flesh searing through the thin fabric of your top. Your hand flew up to press against him, you lips suddenly feeling dry and hot. He watched as you licked your lips, mimicking the action. Then, without warning or hesitation, he was kissing you. This wan’t the usual chaste kiss of lips ghosting over yours. This kiss was more. More needy and desperate. You gave in to the seductive feel of him. His scent washed over you, a hint of bourbon and musk. You hands found their way to his back, nails lightly scratching at the exposed skin. He shuddered under your touch, the low rumble of a groan escaping his lungs. He pressed into you, causing you to lean backward over the counter. Your arms help onto him to keep yourself from falling back. His hand held you to him tighter, the other tangling long slender fingers in your hair.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you felt his hand inching its way up under your top. It felt heavenly, and Oh. So. Right. Forgotten was the thought of the other members just on the other side of the door. Forgotten was idea that you could be alone with him and not want more. Yes, you had had boyfriends in the past, but none of them went past a passionate kiss. You wouldn’t call yourself a prude by any means, but you just never had any of them effect you like he was right now. You couldn’t get enough of his touch, his taste on your tongue, all of it. When you were suddenly bereft of any contact, you opened your eyes. He was nearly panting, eyes blown with desire. Chill bumps covered his arms and back where your hands were touching him. You were both silent as you considered the situation at hand.

When Namjoon stepped out of the shower, he wasn’t sure if you were still there. Walking around the wall, he spotted you. Your hair was all messy and sexy, reminding him of how you felt in his arm last night. Your cheeks were still a bit puffy and flushed pink. You were stunning. And sexy as all get out. When his eyes met yours he was done for. He had to have some sort of connection with you in that second. Had he known how much kissing you like that would affect him. You felt perfect against him, like you fit. Your skin was cool compared to his still warm and damp skin. You still tasted of coffee, and that hint of sweet you always had. He didn’t want to let you go. Yes, he had kissed a few girls before, even been serious with one or two. But you. You did something to him. Made him want things he had never wanted with another woman before. He wanted you.

“Joon? I think the others might be wondering what;s going on in here?” you managed to eek out.

“And? If they do? Let them think whatever they want. I can’t help myself when I’m around you.”

“I know the feeling, Joon. But. We need to be careful. We both have a lot at stake right now.” You pressed your forehead to his chest, the contact easing your nerves. Straightening himself up, he turned away from you. “Joon.” you breathed out, grasping at his hand to make him look back at you. “I’m not saying I don’t want this, because I do. Trust me. I just want us to be careful, is all.”

“Y/N, every second I’m around you, I have the damnedest time trying not to kiss you or touch you. What just happened, that, that was just a taste of what you do to me.” He gripped your hand tighter, afraid that if he let go, you would leave. You tugged him to you, needing the feel of his arms around you.

“Believe me Joonie, I can’t even begin to describe what you do to me. It drives me crazy.”

There was a knock at the door, startling both of you as you jumped away from each other’s embrace.

“Are you two about finished in there? The rest of us have to get ready.” It was Taehyung, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

“Just a second.” Namjoon called out, shrugging his shoulders at the idea of having to leave the confines of the small space. You stepped out first, your head low to avoid Taehyung’s knowing gaze. Namjoon followed suit shortly after.Once they were ready, they checked outside before sneaking you into Jin’s car. He hurried you home, speeding away in case anyone was watching. You ran inside, heading for a cool shower to calm yourself down. Images of him standing in just a towel filled your mind as you cleaned up and got ready for the day. You rushed to the studio, apologizing to the staff for your delay.

“Yoongi will be here after his interview. Lets do a quick run through on the set before he arrives.” You all hurried about, checking camera angles, making sure the set would hold up to someone climbing on it, and that the meadow scene that had been painted looked up to par. Satisfied with everything, you took a step back to admire everyone’s hard work. You couldn’t wait to see what Yoongi thought, and just as you were about to call for the young boy to come over, you received a text.

Joon: on our way

Yoongi: i am excited for today

Tae: me too!

Joon: see you soon

Kook: lovebirds!

Joon: shut up Kook!

You giggled at the banter between them, your heart happy that you were all becoming fast friends with each other. You grabbed a quick bite at the cafe, rushing back up to meet with the boy and his mother. “Thank you for doing this. I know Yoongi will appreciate your help so much.” Just as you wer about to start with his scene, the members walked in together. Yoongi sauntered in last, a strange look on his face. You made you way over to him, taking his arm and pulling him aside.

“Are you okay? If you don’t want to do this, just tell me. We can change anything you want.”

“No, it’s not that. I was just thinking on the way over here. You know, how far I have come and it just made me, I don’t know. It’s just weird seeing myself portrayed as I used to be. I’m ready for this. Promise.” You gave him a quick reassuring hug and led him to the set.

A fog machine was used to create the fog that hung at th bottom of the mountain top. You had the younger boy climbing the mountain, with Yoongi on the other side reaching his hand out to him. Where their hand met was the definitive line between light and dark. Your camera captured the look on Yoongi’s face that seemed to be a mixture of wistfulness and hope. When you had snapped enough pictures, you had Yoongi stand in front of the meadow painting, an overhead stage light shining brightly down on him. His head was lifted towards the sky, eyes closed and a soft smile showing. With his head tilted back, the light bathing him in warmth, he looked at peace. He held his arms out, as if to soak up all the light he could. Everyone stood around in silence, watching the scene unfold before them. You took your time, savoring the serene atmosphere and the moment Yoongi was experiencing. When you finished, you told them it was a wrap and walked the young boy and his mother to the door. “Thank you again. I’ll send you the proofs when I get them done.”

As you closed the door, you could overhear them talking in low voices. “That was awesome, Yoongi.” “Yeah, Yoongs, you looked so peaceful. She really has a knack for what she sees doesn’t she?” Then you heard Yoongi’s soft voice carry over the others. “It was cathartic, actually. To have her place me on the other side. To see myself reaching out for the other me, the past me’s, hand. It was like closing a chapter. She really has a talent other than art. It’s like she is helping us each see who we have become, the sides of us we don’t even see ourselves.”

His hed snapped up as you approached them. He had tears in his eyes, as did the others. They all opened their arms to you and smothered you between them in a group hug. “I’m glad you liked it Yoongi. I’m excited for the final piece.”

“Final piece?” he cocked his head to the side, giving you his cute confused look.

“Yes, final piece. Now if you will all excuse us, Yoongi and I have one more place to go to shoot some pictures.You had told Namjoon over dinner last night you plan for each photo shoot. Just like you had done with him, you were going to give each of them time to just be. When you scheduled their time with Bang Sihyuk, you blocked off at least the second half of the day for them. Today, you were going to take Yoongi to a concert hall that you had reserved. There he would find a concert piano just for him. You would give him time to play to his heart’s content. Afterward you would take him to and open field, the one that the painting was based off of and just let him soak in the warmth of the sun.

“Just where are you taking me, Y/N?” Yoongi didn’t necessarily dislike surprises, but he wasn’t a huge fan of them either .

“Just close your eyes like I told you too. You’ll see when we get there. A few minutes later, you were pulling up to the front of the concert hall. You placed your hands over his eyes, leading him carefully inside. He was an adorable sight, hands in front of him as he tried to feel his way down the aisle of the hall. You helped him up the steps, guiding him to the bench and setting him down slowly. “Now, open your eyes.” you said and stepped back.

You weren’t sure what to make of his reaction. At first he just sat there, looking around the great hall and taking it all in. You were becoming uneasy that you had made the wrong decision when you saw his fingers trace the keys. His eyes closed and his fingers started moving effortlessly. At first the tempo was slow ans steady, like a lullaby, then it crescendoed until the music was filling the vast space. His eyes were still closed and his head was swaying with the beat. He was lost in his own world as he played piece after piece. You sat on the floor, feet hanging over the edge of the stage. You could feel the vibrations trough the wooden floor. You watched as tears freely fell from his eyes and down his cheek. Some would fall on the piano keys, while others fell to the floor. Your heart broke for him at that moment. The piano was his first love, all he knew for the longest time. To be able to share in this special moment with him was heart wrenching and heart warming at the same time. He had been playing for over an hour when he stopped. He opened his eyes, looking around for you. When your eyes met his, he mouthed ‘Thank you’ before closing the cover over the keys.

You walked out together, neither breaking the moment with words. You climbed back into the car and headed off. When he saw the next spot, he bowed his head as tears came unrelented. You held him as he cried, rubbing his back until he collected himself.

“Why are you doing this? First Namjoon, and now me? Why are you being so kind to us?” His eyes were red and puffy but he didn’t try to hide them. “Because, Yoongi. Because you each need a time to reflect and renew. You need to rediscover what your first love was. It may always be there, but yet somehow neglected. Each of you need to experience it anew. That’s why. And also, because I care about each of you. I want to see you all happy and healthy.”

“Joon is lucky to have found you. I haven’t seen him this happy. You are like an oasis for him. He finds rest in you. Thank you for caring about us, and for caring about Joon.” Once he had wiped his face and calmed down some, you let him exit the car.

“Take all the time you need. I am going to be just over there drawing. I will leave you alone, just text me when you are ready to go.” He gave a quick nood and was off. You waited until he had found a spot and sat down before you got out of the car and went to your space. You sketched the tall grass dancing in the light breeze. A ballet of wind and nature was on display for your eyes only. The sounds of crickets chirping and bees buzzing about centered your focus on what your mind’s eye pictured instead of what you saw in your field of vision. The grass took on the visage of small dancers grounded to the earth as they swayed back and forth, the wind a male counterpart as it touched and graced the grass with the fairest of touches.

The sun was just about to set when Yoongi texted you.

Yoongi: I’m ready to leave whenever you are

You gathered up your supplies and headed in his direction. He was walking towards you when you crested the hill between you. He looked different, more relaxed, than when the day started. “You okay, Yoongi?”

“Actually, yes I am. Thank you so much for today. I can’t wit to tell the others about it.” You shook your head.

“Please keep it a secret. I have special days planned for all the others and I want to surprise them.” He agreed to keep hushed, and you both headed back to the dorm.

@min-shookga-yoongi @beautifulseoulliar @agustd-suga-yoongii @astronomyturtle @aspaceformyself @dreamyoongi @holy-yoong i@trashkazuya @maxinaptak @micky1518 @rosiemilas @karri570 @xjamlessparkx

#bts fic #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjooning #namjoon

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hxntersrest · 5 years

Text

Liar , Liar

Prompt : Liar, Liar Fandom: WTNC Pairing: Valkyrie/Finn/Ezra

Note : Contains spoilers for Chapter Nine !

As sad as this was, this wasn’t the hardest thing she had ever had to do. Being a hunter made sure that she was placed in some of the most heart wrenching and difficult situations anyone could be in. But that didn’t mean that it got any easier. The sour taste still lingered on her tongue as she walked down the streets of Lunaris. Not sure if it was her mood or the new found knowledge but the streets felt like they were watching her every breath. Her mind struggled to find logic but their was no logic to a man lost to grief and desperation.

how could this happen....... If i had come sooner.... would I have been able to stop it. What am I to do.

All these questions and more flew through her mind and she ran her fingertips through her winter kissed hair, chewing her lip as she searched for the answers. This meeting was suppose to answer her questions not give her more. The feeling was akin to drowning, helpless and cold with a choking effect. These thoughts made her head spin and one more questions floated to the top of her mind.

Where do I go now ?

She figured Finn and Ezra would have heard how she had went with Harry rather than outright condemn him. But she needed to follow, needed to see how far he had fallen. If he had any more of those creatures and to confirm what Fiero had told her. Otherwise .... otherwise she could lead her friends to their deaths. Knowledge ... was key as her mother use to tell her. When you have nothing else, you at least have what you have learned. Even knowledge can be a weapon. But in this case things weren’t so clear.

She could still see the vial in her mind, the temptation to give in had been stronger than she had anticipated. The power she could gain.... but would the sacrifice be worth it... all these deaths, the inhumanity of it all. But on another side... she could prevent more deaths, she could protect Finn and Ezra and make sure no one would take them for her.... Was this not what she vowed to do when she became a hunter. To protect everyone with all her ability.

The war could wage in her mind for eternity on this topic.... but it didn’t rest well with her heart. No matter what excuse she made up to make all this seem worthwhile... it just made her heart ache. This was wrong , even if the motive was a noble on.

Now ... to explain to Ezra and Finn... and to beg them to understand why... she had to go with the lion to his den. Not just for knowledge ... but to see for herself The Harry she thought she knew was truly consumed by grief.

“ I’m sorry James..... but I don’t think I can save him.... without destroying what I stand for.. what we stand for “

She whispered... but she knew there would be no answer and a part of her was glad. No good could come of any of this. The best she could do was to put a end to it.

The wolf had never looked so inviting before, the light was a welcome sight after walking in the darkness, her eyes scanned over the crowd as she felt something in her chest... pain, confusion.... anger. Finn was nearby as well as Ezra. It wasn’t a surprise that she could sense them... but the impact of their emotions on her was stronger than she liked. Already she could feel the tears in her eyes, if she lost them... she wasn’t sure if she would have the strength to do what needs to be done. She had only just learned to open her heart again to the world... if it ended in heartbreak she doubted she would ever dare open it again.

Her glazed eyes scanned the room, but soon she just followed the feeling she had in her chest till they came into sight. Finn was clutching a bottle, Ezra curled up beside him. For a moment she stood frozen , no words would come to her lips until they both looked up at her.

“ ... Imagine our surprise when August arrives at my door barely able to speak “

“ Finn... if you’d just let me explain ... I know what I’m ... “

“ You went with Harry... we didn’t know if we would ever see you again, if he was going to “

Ezra trailed off, his emerald eyes full of tears at this stage as he stared at her, but when she reached out to him he pulled away. Finn returned his gaze to the bottle and She felt her hands trembling. She was losing them.....

No.... I ... I have to try.. have to fight.

Valkyrie grabbed Finn’s wrist ignoring the warning growl he let out as he went to pull away but she held on firm. He would have to risk hurting her to break the grip and she was certain he wouldn’t even though she felt the creature within him rising to the surface. Instead of speaking she focused her thoughts , making them louder, pushing her emotions with them. If he didn’t wish to accept her words... she would let him feel them.

I Needed to follow him , I needed to know if their were more creatures before jumping in wildly and getting killed. I needed to know that condemning him was the right choice. It was dangerous, foolish even but I couldn’t risk going against him till I knew all the cards he was holding. Please .... understand.

His expression softened and Ezra watched, knowing what was happening between them. But Finn stood up and shook his head

“ Not here... lets go “

Valkyrie looked behind him seeing now the enforcers that where paying close attention to them. A miscalculation on her behalf one she should have taken better care of noticing. She had been so focused on Finn and Ezra she had forgotten to take full stock of the occupants of the tavern. But she nodded to them both and followed. While the atmosphere had improved slightly ... it still pained her. She hung back behind them as she followed them to the catacombs. The air felt like ice against her skin. She was scared... something she had only felt when coming to Lunaris. Before... she had, had little to lose or so she had thought but now ... now she could lose everything. She rubbed her temple, in slow circles. She was mentally exhausted from this day and had no answers to show of it. She became aware... she wasn’t strong enough to make this choice. If Harry held that vial out to her once more.. she feared she would take it.

The catacombs where not as welcoming as they once felt. It didn’t sing of home to her, but more of warning. She was being watched. Most likely because they all sensed Finn’s anger and .... pain. Pain that she had caused with her actions. It seemed hurting the ones closest to her, was the price to pay for information. As she walked into the room , only a few hours ago she hadn’t wanted to leave, she felt dread in her stomach. The door shut and the noise made her jump slightly. She was on edge, not for an attack but for her heartbreak. She had faced many things in her career that inspired fear and dread in her. But only Heartbreak could ever truly render her this helpless. This ... scared.

While Ezra stood at a fair distance from her, Finn now stood over her, she stood still holding her breath as he spoke.

“ Don’t try to explain your actions with smooth words, I watched Levi justify his terror for centuries. I will not stand for you to do it too “

His words struck deep... to be compared to his sire, the man who had put Finn through that much pain. Was that what he now thought of her. That she was like him... a tyrant, lusting for power. The tears burnt her eyes but she held them back. Now wasn’t the time for tears. They needed to know . I needed them to know.

“ I give you my word, I didn’t side with him or do anything stupid other than follow him. You heard me in the tavern Finn. I just wanted to know, I needed to. This isn’t an easy choice and I hoped.... I hoped that by going with him the answer would be clearer “

Ezra had moved over beside Finn now, A hand placed on his lower back. To calm him. It made my heart ache that I was the one separated from them. I was now seen as a possible enemy. The one thing I never wanted to be.

“ You can tell when I’m lying, both of you can. You can feel it in your hearts just like I can feel you “

My heart had never pounded so much in my chest. Were I fully human, I would have been convinced I was having a heart attack. Finn reached out to him, curling his fingers carefully around my wrist tugging me to his bed , urging me to sit. I did so, not realising till now that my legs had been shaking. Too tense , as if bracing myself. Ezra came to sit next to me, his expression soft but his eyes still harboured hurt. I had hurt them. But if I had to die to make it up to them I would, gladly so. His warmth made me also lean back into him but I stayed still. I didn’t deserve that.

No words were spoken as Finn carefully pulled a wooden box down from his shelf. He knelt before us placing the box on my lap. Instinctively I ran my hands over the loving vines that had been carved into the wood. This was something special. Something special to him and something he felt I needed to see. As my finger tips trailed over the latch I glanced at him for permission, as he nodded I gently opened the box. Once opened it was clear that it was a chest of keepsakes, Letters ,sketches and other trinkets lay there with care. One charcoal drawing stood out to me and I carefully picked it up to study it. It was of a young boy, smiling, happy and I could feel Finn’s aura change. I glanced at him giving a faint sime, one that could have been considered sheepish.

“ He’s Beautiful “

Finn took the parchment carefully and smiled “ Gabriel, the first thing Levi stole from me “

“ I keep these things because sometimes I need a reminder of why I want to be good. It’s easier when your a creature like me to push down the basic urges and instincts that are ingrained in us. To hunt, to kill without question or hesitation. To take the nefarious route when it comes to dealing with those who have wronged you “

He paused, looking into my eyes, he knew how I felt about the vial. About Harry’s Promise. Maybe not the details but he knew my feelings. The way my instincts conflicted with my heart and how no answer was clear to me anymore.

“ To have the power we have and the solution to all our problems laid out before us like a neatly wrapped present. All it would take is one pull of the string and all would be set right, wouldn’t it ? “

It was then his words clicked with me, I looked at his amber eyes finally realizing what he was saying to me. Taken the vial would have been the easy thing to do. I would have had the power to fix things but that wouldn’t be the humane thing to do. It wouldn’t have been the right thing to do. It wasn’t about logic or the mind. It wasn’t complicating or complex. My heart knew the answer all along, but I was too busy trying to understand, trying to make sense of it all. That I never listened. That’s why I felt so sick down there, Why when I told Harry that Ara had been made perfect, I felt like acid was in my throat. I felt guilty because I almost made the wrong choice.

“ When I was down there ... with him. I felt sick to my core. Seeing what he has done and how .. how he tried to justify it. He has lost his mind. He wishes for me to become one of those things as if by us making new monsters that shouldn’t exist makes things better... saves us even “

Finn stayed silent for a moment, carefully placing the drawing back in the box and closing it. Letting his hands rest on the top for a moment

“ I know it may not feel like you did the right thing, while your mind tries to find a new solution “

I felt a hand on my shoulder, warm and comforting, I glanced towards Ezra as he spoke

“ You did “

Finn spoke, his words felt colder, firmer but they made me sigh in relief

“ Those with blood on their hands always get what they deserve “

“ Do they truly ? “

Finn nodded gently and Ezra moved his hand down to mine, I held his hand firmly, the warmth on my cold skin made me feel more comfort than anything, with him and Finn here, I wouldn’t fall victim, I’d be strong enough. They won’t let me fall. Finn returned the box to the shelf before returning to us, kneeling down in front of me he unlaced my boots, slipping them off. I smiled tiredly at him, normally I would tell him not to bother, that I’d do it normally just kicking them off messily but Ezra’s voice caught me off guard

“ Will you stay with us ? “

The invitation made my worries disappear, I had come so close to losing both of them. But I glanced down at my clothing, hardly suitable for sleeping in, especially while sharing the bed with two others.

“ Sadly. I’ve nothing with me to wear “

I realized too late that my wording was poorly chosen, the look Finn gave me was enough to paint my pale cheeks pink.

“ I’m sure I can find something you can borrow “

Now it was his turn, He left himself wide open, much like his shirts...

“ Something that buttons all the way up ? “

I pointed cheekily to his chest , watching his expression change, feigning offence.

“ She got you there Finn “

I glanced back at Ezra seeing his warm smile, and I smiled brightly. We were good, all of us.

“ You’ve come to the wrong place if decency is what your after fair hunter “

He laughed and I couldn’t help but pout slightly

“ And here I thought you were such a gentleman “

We all laughed, soft but true. He crawled over on the bed joining me and Ezra, pulling back the sheets so we could climb under them. Ezra began to help me unbuckle the belts around my armor, thankfully my outfit was mostly fabric, only a leather chest piece and some guards on my thighs but they where made part of the fabric so it was relatively easy to slip out of

“ I’d really wish you would wear some thicker armor “

Finn murmured as he picked up my shirt, feeling the fabric, how light it was, the chest piece was the only sort of protection and even then, that wouldn’t hold up against much

“ Easier to move it that, I rely on speed , accuracy. Besides I’ve seen many a hunter in heavy armor and they aren’t around anymore. Often armor can work against you and if thrown hard enough , the shock will still kill you. Best tactic I’ve come across is don’t get hit “

He chuckled at that and removed his shirt, passing it to Ezra who helped me slip it on over my head. It didn’t exactly cover up my chest but it did it well enough, Besides, it was surprisingly comfortable and Finn’s scent was enough to make me feel safe and comfortable. Ezra slid his arm around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder, his curls tickling my neck.

Finn Smirked as he eyed me up and down “ It suits you better “

I hummed softly at his words before looking over him

“ And you look better without “

Ezra and Finn both laughed but I could tell Ezra was agreeing with me. The vampire lay back, resting his head on the pillow as he watched us. As Ezra’s arms tightened around me, the bruises I had tried to desperately to hide ached inside and out. While my thoughts felt clearer, A part of me still worried... was this my choice to make. I was only a hunter. I should be following Harry’s orders, he has more experience, more knowledge, what if he was right and prices must be paid for safety. What if I was just too naive to see that. I felt the tension rise, my shoulders ached once more.

“ Hey , are you ok ? “

Finns voice pulled me from my drowning thoughts, I glanced at him taking in his pale skin against the dark sheets, His amber eyes glistening in the low candle light. I felt grateful all over again for being able to still see up close. The thought of not seeing him and Ezra like this was enough to drive me mad. I felt Ezra’s warmth against me, grounding me and I let the tension slide from my shoulders, they were enough to silence my inner demons.

Without Hesitation , I tugged Ezra gently , he knew exactly what I wanted to do and we both curled around around Finn, Our heads lying on his chest as out bodies curled around him. I could feel the cold metal of his arm against my skin, but it no longer bothered me, instead it was seen as a comfort, a reminder of that fact I was here with him. Finn Pressed his lips against our foreheads but I needed more, I looked up at him, a silent invitation he paused, a look which only could be described as hungry passed between us before our lips met. I was lost in them as Ezra ran his fingers through my hair. This is where I belonged, here with them. If any choice leads away from them it is the wrong one. That’s all I need to remember.

As the candles died , and darkness surrounded us, I let myself forget about the worries and stresses and just focus on the feeling of their bodies against mine.

#wtnc #wtnc finn #wtnc ezra #when the night comes #wtnc fanfic #wtnc fan hunter #finn x hunter #finn x fhunter #ezra x finn #ezra lyon #finn kazimir #finnezra #ezra x hunter #ezra x fhunter #angst

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willowlark369 · 7 years

Text

Today, my Art Appreciation class went to the museum to tour the Egyptian, Roman, and Greek galleries. Because my children were out of school for Good Friday, I took advantage of my professor’s allowance of guests on the museum tours. Several times before we arrived, I explained to my daughters (Bug, age 10, and Bean, age 9) that they had to not be disruptive of the docents and behave while we were there. For the most part, my girls didn’t misbehave.

Unfortunately, I could not say the same.

But I’ll get to that. First, I need to give y’all a bit of background to be able to understand this story and fully appreciate it.

I have been actively pagan for many years—this October will be my 23rd year, in fact. My original patron deity was Bastet so for the better part of a decade, I studied Egyptian mythology and practices extensively before being Called to a different facet of the Goddess that worked better with the practices of my heritage. As an artist (writer) myself, I feel a special connection with the Muses, even if I spend most of my time carefully cursing their fickle & flighty nature. I’m not the only pagan in my Art class—another woman (who studies photography as both hobby and coursework) is a second generation Wiccan and raised her children in an eclectic version of that tradition. Turns out Dr. Pepper [below] is Photographer’s son.

My Art professor is very much a cheerleader for an interdisciplinary approach towards studying art. Knowing the history of a period along with societal aspects of the culture along with their scientific understandings is key to understand the context of a piece along with its meaning. She is also very vocal about Art being a social dialogue that is meant to communicate and/or spark discussions. Bug is an Aspie. I have worked very hard over the years to get her to understand certain social nuances, but even though her ability to interact with others in a positive way has improved, it’s still hit and miss at times. My Art Professor also has a daughter with autism and another classmate has a son. While Professor’s daughter and Bug are around the same age, Photographer’s son is an adult. We’ve all shared stories about knowing that sometimes there’s things they just need to do.

Since this museum is free and Bug has a Special Interest in Art, we go to this museum a lot even though the exhibits rarely change. We even have a list of exhibits that we must see every single visit.

It’s obvious, but I took out direct names, both of people and the pieces. Changing the names to protect the “innocent”?

Now the story:

The tour started out nice enough. There’s a few new people mixed into the familiar faces of my classmates, but there’s been a few each time since Professor openly encouraged bringing guests so long as they aren’t disruptive. The Docent we got announced first thing that she was excited about give tours to adults as she normally does elementary and middle school tours. Okay, that makes sense because we were supposed to do this tour last week and got bumped because of all the elementary and middle school tours that got scheduled and couldn’t easily be rescheduled like a college class’ tour could. It wasn’t until the first exhibit that I even suspected that this inexperience may be a problem.

Docent: Now you’ve studied the differences between primary and secondary sources of information. Can anyone tell me the difference?

[The students are silent, and even I don’t recognize the terms as they would apply to Art.]

Docent: Does anyone want to guess?

Guy in “I am a Pepper” tee (Dr. Pepper): Primary source would be the source a claim is pulled from and secondary sources would be further reading on the subject which expand upon that claim or offers support of it?

Docent: So close, dear—[completely ignoring the slight bristle of Dr. Pepper at the nickname]—a primary source is the artwork itself while the secondary source would be the placards to the side. Secondary sources cannot always be trusted, because sometimes they contain inaccurate information. For example, this piece here (a “lion” statue that had several obvious divergences from actual lion features which rendered it very close but not really) has a placard which says that the artist had never seen a lion before—which just doesn’t make sense because there was a lot of trading around on around the Mediterranean countries and he would just had to have seen one. It’s not logical.

Dr. Pepper: Actually, it would have been. Lions are not native to Greece, and transporting a live apex predator would have been extremely tricky and rarely worth it. You’d get a few being traded, but you just won’t see a lot of them.

Me: Even hunting them would have difficult and since eating apex predators is almost a culturally universal taboo, it would have been a better use of labor to break a body down in the field and only carry back to be traded those parts which were useful—the fur, the teeth, and the claws. It’s entirely possible for the artist to have never seen a lion in its entirety.

Professor: I think what they’re trying to say is that we’re still increasing our understanding of those time periods and it’s a good idea to question all claims if there’s a chance of a misunderstanding.

It was an excellent save and we were moved forward on the tour. In the Egyptian section that is dedicated to the artwork rather than our mummy, the Docent strikes again.

Docent: These two panels were found on either side of the door leading into [Person’s Name]’s tomb. As you can see, they are symmetrical.

Bug [in a confused voice]: But they’re not symmetrical. That means identical. They aren’t identical; they’re mirrored which means they are similar but opposite.

Docent: No, dear, they’re symmetrical.

Bug: But they’re really not—and you shouldn’t call strangers “dear”. It’s not polite. Unless they’re upset. Then you say it while rubbing their back in circles. Circles are symmetrical.

Me [because Bug is starting to get agitated]: Honey, why don’t you go sketch the Djinn? [Bug gives me a confused look before nodding and wandering over the bench before the Sumerian piece in question.]

Professor [trying not to grin]: She did have a point about the symmetry.

Finally, our group makes it to the Roman section (after a half hour of not moving from the same fifteen square feet and a lecture from the Docent that keeps repeating the same information) and we settle before a tomb piece that has the Muses with Athena and the person whose grave it is on it. It’s truly a lovely piece and even after the centuries of exposure to the sea wind of Athens is still incredibly detailed. It’s also one of Lily’s favorite pieces in the whole museum and definitely her favorite in the Roman section. Thus it’s one of the “must see” pieces for every single visit.

Docent: We’re going to do ATS.

[Everyone looks at each other in confusion. We have never heard this term. The Docent huffs a breath.]

Docent: Your professor said you know how to do ATS.

Me [thinking that maybe Professor didn’t use the letters]: What do the letters mean?

Docent: “Artistic Thinking Strategy”

I hear Bug choke on a breath of her own. During Spring Break, we had spent the entire week working on the difference between “noun” and “verb” and so I know that there’s about to be an interjected correction on the usage because Bug is always like that about new information. Luckily, Dr. Pepper comes to the rescue.

Dr. Pepper: Maybe you can remind us how we do that exactly?

Docent: You look at the piece systematically and break down what you’re seeing into its parts. Then you put the pieces back together to see what is going on in it. [As this is literally the process of aesthetic scanning, something our Professor had repeatedly stressed the importance of, there’s a collective aha moment for our group. Without saying anything, our Professor comes up behind the Docent as she continues in an impatient tone] What do you see here? [silence falls over the group, which just makes Bug’s authoritative whisper to Bean about the definition of a noun seem louder than it actually is]

Me [now desperate to cover up the girls’ whispers]: Okay, I'm going to cheat. It's the Muses.

Dr. Pepper: Oh, if you're cheating, I'm going to as well--it's the Muses but also two others.

Docent [clearly irritated]: Well, someone's been reading the secondary sources and apparently believes them. I bet you didn't even recognize them and probably couldn't identify which one is which.

Me [even knowing that I shouldn’t be raising to the nerd-baiting but too irritated at the woman’s attitude to not answer the challenge]: That one on the end is looking up at the sky and has a hard tablet of the type used in Hellenistic times to record star patterns. She's the muse of astronomy. The one next to her has items associated with games in the same period--she must be Thalia, muse of laughter. The next one on the line has a lyre. She can be either the muse of lyrical poetry which is performed on the lyre or the muse of music but the woman second from the other side has a flute so she is probably music making this one lyrical poetry.

Docent [now scrabbling into her pocket with jerky motions]: Hold on—I have a list. Let me check it.

Me [nodding]: And while you’re digging it out, I can continue. The next one has—

Docent [pointing at Dr. Pepper and abandoning the efforts to pull the list of muses]: You there! You said that there were two figures that weren’t muses. I bet you can’t pinpoint them.

Dr. Pepper: Oh, can’t I? [Behind the Docent, Professor looks like she’s debating interfering, but I can see her working out the scales. This is the most engaged anyone in this group has been the whole visit and really, we’re not being rude so much as slightly antagonistic in response to the Docent’s antagonism. Either way, Dr. Pepper doesn’t hesitate any more than I did in answering the nerd-baiting.] The figure with the spear & helmet is Athena, goddess of war.

Me: Among other things such as wisdom and strategic thinking.

Dr. Pepper: Which is why she's often depicted with the Muses, despite not being one herself and only sketchily related to them.

Docent: So any war done in her name must be just?

Dr. Pepper: Not at all. It just has to be done well.

Me: Athena is just as warlike as Ares, but she's more about strategic planning a war to minimize both risk and the uses of resources whereas Ares is about brute strength and overpowering an enemy. Wisdom doesn't always mean justice or honor.

Dr. Pepper: The other non-Muse is the figure in the exact center holding a scroll.

Docent: And why would that figure be the human? Just because it’s in the center?

Me: They're the plainest. All the figures are the same size, but the muses all have the tool of their domain while Athena looks very intimidating in full armor, but that figure has no extra frills other than the rolled scroll in her hand. She could have been Clio, muse of history, but she's not writing on the scroll, just holding it. She’s acquiring knowledge, not recording it.

Docent: Moving on.

We’re then herded to the Mummy room on the other side of the Egyptian art section. Since Bug and Bean are growing impatient to begin our after-tour, I pull them a bit away from the group to discuss the pieces in the section. This quickly turns into a discussion with Dr. Pepper about the possibility of unresolved sexual tension between Set and Bastet due to their constant battling in the night. As Dr. Pepper questions how unresolved it might be with the battles taking place at night, I catch sight of the Docent off to his side looking absolutely scandalized while our classmates look fascinated in the same way most twelve-year-olds are with impressive belches. I winced and apologize while Photographer struggles to hide snickers. The Docent reclaims our group’s attention to discuss the myth of Isis and Osiris that was depicted (according to her) on the middle casing of the mummy.

Docent: So Isis gathered all the pieces and bound them back together.

Me [without really planning to]: Well, almost all.

Dr. Pepper [at the Docent’s confused look]: She missed one part. It’s why he could no longer guarantee the fertility of the Nile.

Me [matter of factually]: She did fashion a replacement out of gold and lapis. It was enough to grant him authority over the Underworld, but he could no longer serve Egypt with the replacement. It didn’t fulfill the same function any more.

Dr. Pepper [with a smirk]: I wonder if she improved upon it any? After all, it did earn him a kingdom.

Me [swatting gently at his arm]: Oh, hush, you.

Dr. Pepper [rolling his eyes]: Yes, Mom. [on the other side of the display, Photographer is less successful at silencing her snickers. It could have been something Bug or Bean said as they play Dots with her, but I have a feeling that it’s really not.]

The Docent points towards the inner most casing for the mummy along with the chest cartouche. She proceeds to explain how someone had to have made a mistake because while all the artifacts were supposed to be from a single burial, the cartouche on the male mummy had a female name, so “logically” there had to have been a mixup somewhere. Stunned at the implications and the sheer arrogance in her voice, I couldn’t say anything for a moment. Luckily, Dr. Pepper could.

Dr. Pepper: Maybe we're the ones mistaken and that mummy is actually of a woman.

Docent: There are ways that we can tell just from the bones, dear.

Dr. Pepper [frowning at the return of the “not polite” nickname but clearly channeling it into his tone rather than commenting]: You could tell male or female, but you wouldn't be able to tell man or woman, would you? All the markings indicate a female name, right? "Beloved of her father" is what you said?

Docent: Well, yes—I'm still learning the language but that's the translation they gave me.

Me [after a beat of silence that demonstrates that Docent doesn’t get why this is important]: Egyptian names prior to their being conquered by Rome didn't typically have pronouns. It was considered unlucky, as it would bring the attention of the spirits to a person. There had to be a significant counter to that weight for her to have such a name. A Renaming later in life due to changing gender would have been a worthy reason.

Docent: But if that was true, she would have failed the weighing of her heart because she couldn't say that she never lied!

Me [holding up a hand to keep Dr. Pepper from jumping in as I can tell he wants and speaking flatter in an attempt reign in my temper]: The negative denials would not have unbalanced at that. She was a woman if she had the ceremonies to be buried in this way, under this name. Changing genders through Renaming is not be counted as lying. Besides, if she truly feared it would, she could simply affirmed the claim to save her heart. She would not have been allowed to enter the Underworld, true, but her heart would not be devoured, preventing her from both entering the Underworld and being reincarnated.

Docent [giving a loud sniff before snapping out]: Well, maybe the theology shifted over time because that's not what I read.

Me: The Book of the Dead served as a guide for their beliefs for over three thousand years, until Alexander took the kingdom and infused the underlying culture with the influences of his tiny Greco-Roman country while exporting Egyptian culture out. The 42 negative denials are mentioned in at least 23 different sites throughout all three Kingdoms of Egyptian history. There is at least one confirmed case of a woman being renamed with a male name and depicted as a man from that point onward and three others which are greatly suspected to have switched genders. Moreover, there is a deity in the Egyptian pantheon who is depicted as both male & female and another who is declared as neither. Also, yet another whose sexuality was as fluid as the cats that were her animal.

Dr. Pepper [tone dripping with sarcasm]: But I'm sure they had the same hangups as you.

Professor [clapping her hands as she jumped in front of the Docent]: And we're out of time! I'll be out to talk to you guys in a moment. I'm just going to thank the docent for her time real quick.

Moral of the Story (01): Do not mess with pagans on our home turf. They aren’t just myths to us—they’re the source of our values and traditions. We study them like Christians study the Bible and probably better than most Christians do that.

Moral of the Story (02): Do not challenge smartasses when unprepared to back up your claims. We get cranky after a while, especially if we’re bored out of our minds.

#Story Time #GSRM Issues #Pagans #Funny Story #college life #Family is Fun #Real Life

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