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pistatsia · 7 months

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Isagi Yoichi: problems with anger expression

Clickbait, right? One would think that what kind of anger expression problems could there be with a guy swearing on the field with war-crime level insults and joyfully bringing a child a few years younger to tears?

The kind where one derives from the the other.

Now, let's figure it out.

To do so, we'll have to go back to Isagi's novel (hoshi801_ translation is used for all of the quotes). From it, we know that Isagi grew up as a quiet and shy child. "He never gets into fights with his friends and never disobeys his teachers."

Nevertheless, it ended quite simply then - thanks to Noa, he learnt how to express his anger and negative feelings. Problem? Only on the football field. The novel says he "was fearless in running into his opponents, as if he had never been a crybaby."

He was winning, and what he liked best about football - his football, Noa's football - was the beauty of Noa’s playstyle brutality. Because that's what made it an acceptable outlet for him - fighting with friends is bad, arguing with teachers is not allowed - but on the football pitch you are free. You can be angry. Football became his safe space.

Except that then Isagi entered the root of all his troubles - Ichinan.

Even before it, the novel mentioned and emphasised Isagi's inability to express himself. For a while, despite this, his plans worked: the coaches let him play the way he wanted, and he didn't have to come into direct conflict with them.

But that trick didn't work in Ichinan - the dream school suddenly turned out to be somehow strange, and Isagi felt that he wasn't allowed to fulfil his potential here.

But no one on the team was unsatisfied by the current system.

Even before the conversation with the coach where he was ridiculed Isagi had tried to test the waters. Specifically to test - he doesn't say anything outright in fear of being rejected. "Uhm, Tada-kun… don’t you think there’s something wrong with this?" he asks his club mate very cautiously, while in thoughts having more direct “Huh? Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous?”. It's written out separately in the novel that "he watches the expression on Tada's face to see how he'll react" - Isagi already has problems. He's already learnt that he can be rejected if his opinion doesn't coincide with the majority - especially since the conversation wasn't taking place in 'football territory', where he was more or less able to talk straight.

Having an opinion for Isagi means isolation.

But he still tries one last time - one that finally cracks him up, convincing him that the others know better and he just needs to be patient.

In the novel his friends are "Surprized, seeing the quiet and obedient Isagi talk to the coach" - again, he is used to keeping quiet and not risking. Still, he dares to - and is immediately ridiculed for allegedly trying to "show off".

And this is what finally kills in him the will to resist. Because losing his friends and football is more terrifying for him than losing himself.

What does the novel says about Isagi after this episode? "He is afraid of being disliked for being assertive", "always timid", "compliant". "When his friends get excited, Isagi would say something like this: “Uh, yeah… me too”."

"He just goes with the flow."

Isagi agrees with Tada's taste in girls, agrees to eat what he doesn't want to, pleases in every way possible just so he won't be abandoned. He obeys the coach's strategy, and even on the field - the only thing that gave him joy and was a safe place for him - he ends up obeying the rules his surroundings have imposed on him.

He doesn't try to argue, he doesn't try to prove anything - he just chooses the safest path, the one where he doesn't do anything and doesn't fight, but he stays safe. Not abandoned.

What's the conclusion?

Isagi doesn't know how to express anger at all. He just hasn't learnt it because he hasn't tried it. And most importantly, doesn't know how to express it correctly.

Why is it necessary (and important) to know how to anger correctly in the first place? The point is that for the mentality anger is a kind of marker that lets us know when our interests are violated and our needs are not satisfied. Which by its presence helps us to build boundaries and achieve what we need. Anger is the power and energy to change an unpleasant world to suit us and achieve our goals.

But Isagi was shamed for showing negative emotions and for any attempt to express himself. He was shown non-verbally that any expression of self and attempt to argue, even just a different opinion would be received grudgingly, that you had to agree on everything, that if you tried to argue you would be rejected and not only that, you would lose the football.

And Isagi tamps down the anger inside himself - he no longer stands up for himself, and holds back the anger to the last, storing it up inside for years.

He develops a ban on anger.

And in general, not just anger - any negative emotion. He is unable to express even the despair of losing to Kira correctly; he tries to suppress it, to muffle it, the novel explicitly states that he attempts to lock it up inside, but in the end, having overflowed, this despair against his will burst out in a scream. Isagi suppresses all negative feelings in general. Aside from the crying part, this repressed anger is evident even in the first chapter, when he imagines the goalkeeper in tears from defeat, and dreams of crushing Kira. Without saying it out loud, though.

And in that 'against his will' lies the main problem of why exactly anger needs to be lived out properly.

Because otherwise it'll spill out just like that scream - desperate, seething, expansive, and the worst part?

Uncontrollable.

What is the danger of not controlling the expression of anger? Why can't we just hide it inside and keep smiling, without causing anyone problems and without wasting the resources of our body on it, just adjusting? Yes, in doing so you lose your freedom of expression - so what?

Because anger doesn't disappear over time. It is put inside layer by layer, day by day.

And sooner or later you can't hold it back.

In life this rarely ends well: if a person holds themselves to a completely unhealthy level of control they may at some point experience an episode of derealisation - when repressed feelings become so abundant that the brain rolls out one of the strongest self-defence mechanisms - detachment. If it doesn't? One goes off the rails: he overreacts to the smallest of things, he is thrown from one-time hook-ups to drugs and alcohol. The accumulated anger begins to destroy from the insides.

But Isagi, as an adaptation specialist (unconsciously, most likely) has come up with a great answer to this, learnt from childhood and from the show with Noel Noa. Which one? Express anger where it would be considered normal.

Blue Lock with on-field swearing works for Isagi for many reasons at once. He got Bachira, who showed him that there's nothing wrong with expressing his angry-self - he'll be accepted, he would even be welcomed, it's okay to be angry! He got Chigiri and Kunigami, Nanase and Hiori, dozens of people accepting him no matter what (but in personal conflicts outside the field he usually still doesn't know how to behave - he prefers to withdraw and wait for things to resolve themselves - but that's for another time). Here, also, the issue of survival came into play, as expressions of anger and rage were cultivated by the Ego itself, sometimes specifically manipulating the players to do so.

There's also the application of the familiar pattern of his pre-Ichinan childhood ('I play football as rough as Noa - I'm doing well, I'm not alone, and I achieve my goals because it happens on the field, so it doesn't mean anything'), the general tense atmosphere, and a fair number of trigger characters who would drive even a saint to their grave (heh, Kaiser, heh). Isagi in general has more to do with football than almost all of Blue Lock's characters. Manifestations of anger and determination as a child (on the football field!)? Noa. Manifestations of them now? Blue Lock. He continues to use mechanisms familiar from childhood to protect himself, adapting them to new realities.

(basically, even the fact that Noa is around - who, again, once gave little Isagi the opportunity to express himself openly on the field - can have an impact on the escalation of Isagi's behaviour around Kaiser and Bastards. Whose presence and support is associated with a safe expression of himself)

like father like son

And uncontrollable anger bursts out, but for now like water from a cracked jug - in jolts, strong and those impossible to shut down, but from just one place. The swearing at the match and the opportunity to openly express himself and his objectives (remember how he shouted at Noa that his system doesn't allow him to score goals hahaha) allowed him to relax, to partially release the anger accumulated over the years - all without any realisation on his part. He doesn't even have to do anything - it all resolved itself. He's not being rejected, he's playing the way he wants to play and yet he's angry! That's great!

And everything seems to be fine, right?

The problem is that Blue Lock's setting just isn't going to work in the long run. Ego will be there for the rest of the project - another 2-3 months - and for training for the World Championship, for the Championship itself, and... that's it. The project ends, Isagi flies off to play in another country, but who can guarantee that the environment for such an expression of anger will be replicated there as well?

At one point, access to the field and, in principle, to the competitive and encouraging environment for such expressions of character in Blue Lock is bound to be cut off. There are gaps between seasons, injuries, end of career, and the simple fact that such expression depends on how much the coach allows to players - at some point Isagi may well be silenced.

And then all the accumulated, bubbling anger inside, which is now used to being expressed regularly, will spill out - and not on the safe field, where much can be blamed on adrenaline, but on his loved ones, his career and himself.

#gosh I'm so happy that I've started the blog #I can't show everything I want in terms of character analysis in my fics #and now I can do it here and it's so refreshing #blue lock analysis #bllk analysis #bllk #blue lock #isagi yoichi

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pollsnatural · 16 days

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*- do it in 13x06.

**braggin about (sorry didn't notice this before posting)

Cas poll, Sam polll, spn women poll

#it was hard #i don't remember my favorite dean moments as well as i remember cas moments #special thanks to dean bloggers for blogging about every single moment dean is on screen #really helped me to refresh my memory #polls #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #tw suicide mention #tried to avoid destiel moments #i maybe will make separate poll for destiel

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 2 months

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On The Topic Of Eddie.

First of all, he’s completely fucked. He’s screwed. I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again: I’ve never seen a character more doomed by the narrative.

Second, Eddie’s halloween costume was Frankenstein’s Monster. And pray tell, what was the Monster’s whole thing? That he’s betrayed by his own creator, rejected / attacked by the town, deeply misunderstood & interpreted as a violent beast despite being well-read and helpful/benevolent. There are some interesting ties there - especially with the Misunderstood Despite Being Well-Read (switch out violent beast with forgetful klutz and it’s a perfect fit). That, plus Eddie’s description of “...brought back from the dead… by the scientist… stitches… a deathly pallor… a bit of a moral conundrum…”

Take that and add it to how Eddie resembles the “night” side of the clocks (this will be expanded upon with Sally in a different post), and how @/theneighborhoodwatch once pointed out that the color purple is only shown in relation to Eddie & may represent secrets, how in livestream trivia it was implied that Eddie doesn’t sleep at night as he is a “busy guy”, and how Sally’s “monster” only comes out at night and likely isn’t a monster at all - she is dramatic, an embellisher, and said to present things that she herself doesn’t know / is uncertain of As Fact, or at least present them as if she knows exactly what she’s talking about (even when she doesn’t and knows it).

Another tidbit that I may have mentioned but I’ll bring it up again: Eddie’s eyelashes match the scalloped trim under Home’s windows. Three round curves.

As an additional tally in the “Eddie is soooo fucked <3” scoreboard, Eddie is the mailman in a story where one of the first things we knew to be actually happening was the WHRP receiving letters of Welcome Home media (now I’m not saying Eddie sent them, certainly not. He may or may not have had a hand in helping with the delivery, but what I mean with this is how it ties in symbolically/abstractly/thematically.) That plus the red envelope, the general unfolding delivery theme… Eddie even has a holiday explicitly associated with him - Mail-In Time Day.

Then there’s the fact that Eddie tends to express Knowledge and a more worldly disposition, in a way. Despite Frank being mentioned as the neighborhood “intellectual”, and he is so with facts, Eddie seems to have a deeper well of… let’s say cultural know-how. Pair that with how his bio is the only one to say/imply that he comes from elsewhere, that he’s been Around. Everyone else came from their family or don’t have a stated before, but Eddie? He was strongly implied to have delivered to a lot of different places - this is made into a running gag, but we all know a running gag for the Show has deeper implications and meanings.

And the fact that his genuine knowledge as well as his past are consistently dismissed and/or played off for laughs…

IMPORTANT NOTE FOR THIS NEXT BIT: I CANNOT FIND THE OG ASK OUTSIDE OF SCREENSHOTS SO TAKE ALL OF THIS WITH A MASSIVE GRAIN OF SALT, AS THERE IS THE POSSIBILITY THAT THE ASK WAS FROM PRE-2021 AND SO - ALONG WITH THIS SPEC CHUNK - IT MAY BE NULL & VOID. BUT IT ALSO MAY NOT BE! SO I’LL TALK.

A while back - this is related I swear - there was an ask Clown answered where they talked about some of his notes on Eddie. The first part that I want to point out is how apparently Eddie is a good source for information (specifically How-To), but despite being talkative he doesn’t share unless prodded for it. This directly relates to the above points.

Then there’s the one I really want to talk about - how Clown says that “He [Eddie] has a great deal of precision for someone who presents themselves as a semi-clumsy busybody!”

That single line made me insane, personally. First, the wording. The choice of saying presents themselves as instead of something like for someone who is. There’s an obvious discrepancy between his precision and clumsiness. Now I don’t doubt that he may be a tad accident-prone, but what if Eddie is dialing up the clumsy nature to disarm his Neighbors / craft a specific reputation for himself / give himself leeway in other areas.

On one hand, this is suspicious as fuck.

On the other hand, this is so adhd of him.

One of the things rarely mentioned about it is how sometimes we adhders will play up our more “useless” traits in order to create a bit of a social safety net. Admittedly, I will sometimes play up my forgetfulness so that a) if i do forget things (truth more often than not), people aren’t surprised. b) when i remember things, people are pleasantly surprised. I mean, if people start thinking we’re competent then they’ll start Expecting things from us, which is never a good thing!

And another thing that relates to it that that ask said - Clown says in it that Eddie is slow to anger, but he gets frustrated more easily. Which is fascinating and very relatable. They also said that he can’t talk about it without wandering too far, which - if the post is viable - has… implications.

Anyway I am very confident that Eddie is in fact adhd. List of reasons (refer to the wiki trivia Eddie Dear section for sources):

He’s forgetful

He gets so involved with a task and cannot break away until it’s finished, thus often making him late

He’s particular

He has a watch - likely to help him keep track of time, implying that he has difficulty with the concept (time blindness!)

He is very talkative and rambley

& seems to have slight difficulty with picking up on social cues telling him when to / when not to speak

He’s slow to anger but more easily frustrated

Beyond all of this I don’t have much to add that I haven’t already talked about in a previous post! I’m sure even so I’ve restated some (or a lot of) things - it Happens!

In conclusion: bbg is so screwed & also adhd <3

#ok next up is the eddie & sally post #then it's the sally post bc mmm i have some Things to say about her #then frank & julie - i might combine their Own specs into the same post since there's not quite as much there and it very much intersects #then i'll give us a break with some Reality Mechanics spec-#IM SORRY BUT IM GOING TO BE POSTING LATE AT NIGHT!#you may have to come back to my blog & refresh if you want to read them all #much to say in so little time...#its a hell of my own making! i still have that last thing to draw & a stream test to do...#oh but this is the sort of crunch i enjoy...#crunching on something im passionate about is rarely a drag!#homebogging #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #not much to say in tags... im getting more Thorough with the post itself #leaving more meat there! less scraps to hide!

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neptunym · 1 year

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ms paint doodles for @post-it-notes7 's fic series, heart and soul. i highly recommend it to anyone that either likes the kirby anime or meta knight bc it's a delight to read :]

#kirby #meta knight #galacta knight #fanart #hoshi no kaabii #krbay #iyd spoilers #IYD #ms paint #ok most of them are doodles. the strawberry and blueberry drawings started as a ''haha its meta and galacta :)''#but at one point it turned into rendering practice #idk what happened #kirby fanart #id included #i've been wanting to show off those stupid fruits for so long. i spent an entire morning on the strawberry alone #i was literally about to post this when my blog got put in jail #one second my icon was normal. i refresh the page and boom #he's gone #anyway. go read wishful thinking and in your dreams <3333333 #edit: it's almost midnight and i just realised i wrote heavily instead of highly..... this is why we don't make drafts at 3 am #uhm anyway. fun fact. i wanted to draw the thats paint asshole meme but i was tired #so i put the images og GK and MK there as placeholders #but in the end i got too lzy to like. actually draw it lol #gala doodles #gala draws

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hollow-keys · 2 months

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It's nice to have confirmation that he was older but I still don't get why he was posing as a schoolboy in the first place, Mark.

#also it doesn't make me suspicious of him it just makes me think casting needs a refresh on what teenagers look like #i feel like i'm posting too much about this am i posting too much about this #“it's my blog i can post whatever i want” i chant to myself in the mirror #vislor turlough #doctor who #classic who #📨

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lollyholly99 · 2 years

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Every single goddamn thought in my brain for days on end has just been this

#rottmnt #I'm a man obsessed #i watch the film i give the film a big kiss i Eat the film #once again i needed to get this image out of my head and onto my blog #ignore the funky looking caption. it's like that for. aesthetic purposes lets say #rottmnt the movie #i post this and i refresh the trending page and rise goes from 9 to 6 #im doing my part!!!

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ophelian-darling · 8 days

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𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞.

Yandere Diavolo x gn Reader.

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Awakening in darkness, you witness a rough pleasure with no eyes by a devil.

TW(s): Kidnapping, Chaining, Blindfolding, Master/pet dynamic, Non-con, sexual content.

This is a NSFW piece, Minors/Ageless blogs DNI.

The demential voice within your mind echoed its morbose susurration, repeatedly and ad nauseam. for a second, you assumed that you were already dead , for you have never experienced such a frightening and swallowing obscurity that was similar to a one of a grave. Thankfully, the burning ache on your wrists alerted your nerves, reminding you that you were still alive, but not in the best wellbeing.

Complying to your instincts , you did your best to move a muscle in your body - the pain was quick to rush through your limbs at your vain attempt to break free, forcing you to stop wriggling.

a deep despair ate your heart : why are you like this and how did you end up like this ? a lot of questions bursted inside of your head and it only contributed to make your skull throb with an unendurable soreness . Even breathing was a struggle, you took every breath with a force, as if a heavy weight was placed on your chest .

most of your senses were almost shut down : your eyelids curtained your vision and nothing was visual, except for that floating explosion on your irises . your skin was painfully restricted and burned by the familiar feeling of cool , hard Shackles ; tying your arms , waist , ankles and choking on your neck, preventing you from any lungful amount of air . The metallic taste on your tongue was unpleasant, the strong aroma of the red fluid fouling your nose and nauseating you .

Fair years of experience in battle and secret work taught you to rely on a single sense in critical situations. your listening was as sharp as a bat's and that sound of an approaching footsteps was unmistakably close. in a rush of thoughts, you came to a sole conclusion : you are currently kidnapped .

The heavy sound of the gate's clacking echoed through the cold air of the room as you tensed, heart drumming loudly to your ears and threatening to break your ribs . a step , then another and another... with each step you heard the louder your brain screams .

a sudden touch against your cheek made your skin crawl . Although it was gentle, you couldn't help the feeling of uneasiness and disquiet that dwelled in your abdomen .

It's only just begun.

The spiderlike, tickly digits floated on your skin and moved ponderously, eliciting a shiver from you at the soft sensation, yet in such a cruel way. the fingers stopped at your chin, pressed on it for a moment then tilted your head up with force . the back of your head bumped into the hard wall, adding more pang to your already abused body.

The pathetic whimper that escaped your throat made your captor chuckle :a rich, deep and demoniac voice that paralyzed your brain .

The aura of the figure in front of you was anything but natural.

"I've waited too long to have you...My dearest pet"

Before you could fully process the denotation of the appalling words, the hand that used to be gentle moments ago tore the veil on your eyes, exposing the upper half of your face to the chilly air, letting your eyelids uncover your orbs and catch the most horripilating image you've ever seen .

a sight of a globe of two lucific , emerald eyes that stared right into your soul. you've heard of many legends of Lilithian demons and lustful Incubi, however, you believed none of them until now . those odd eyes are not of a human , but a daeva's.

The man in front of you laughed at the pure terror your face showed, confusing you even more as you couldn't help but to stare in your weak position.

"W-what are you ?" you managed to gain the rest of your mental strength to ask . His pink locks and dark lips finally had your attention when he smiled amusingly at you .

His palm moved from the side of your face to your neck, twitching his fingers teasingly before applying a suffocating pressure on your trachea as he spat "you'll come to know"

His hand left your throat, you didn't have the time to rejoice when his fingers ripped up the remaining cloth that warmed your body only a little , cutting from your chest and following the long tear to your thighs. the air stinged your exposed skin, causing goosebumps to rise and your nipples to perk . your face heated at the realization that you're now almost nude for this monster's pleasure .

Disgust, humiliation and shame for being a mere plaything .

"Aren't you just a pretty thing… so pure and frail " his eyes devoured you shamelessly, enjoying his power over you and how vulnerable your small form was against his stalwart, bigger one .

"My dear Doppio was right, you'd make a wonderful slave "

Your eyes widened : Doppio ?! Doppio Vinegar ?! the man that was your partner in the same squad ?! how could someone who's idiotically sweet have a relation to a creature that appears to be from the depths of hell ? you had an eerie feeling about him in the beginning, but you pushed it aside, convincing yourself that the sudden flash in his childish eyes wasn't more than a hallucination.

What if he -

The train of perplexed thoughts crumbled when he smacked his lips against yours forcefully, aching your front teeth and biting on your lower lip, a drop of blood oozing as a result of the sadistic act of lust. The intensity in what was supposed to be a kiss added a certain pain that wasn't meant to ache, the feeling of your gum being compressed and your lips wounded was oddly pleasurable to your own disgust and surprise. the voice of reason within your brain was shouting at you to remain sober and realize how much this is sickening.

Te withdrew suddenly, letting you regain the lost Oxygen from the previous kiss . you tried to calm yourself and take each breath with care so you wouldn't cause yourself any more damage but failed, feeling like drowning with your ears ringing and head tingling painfully , a colorful display that coated your vision dizzyingly.

The expression on his face was camouflaged due to your eyelids drooping over your eyes, you only felt his ghostly hands wandering down to your chest , stopping for a second before squeezing hard at the area, enjoying how it squished under his large palms . you tried to move away but the force on your neck reminded you of your place in this maladive predator and prey play . you were only able to move your hips and curl up your toes .

"Don't misbehave, little one" he warned, displeased at your attempt to get away. However, you kept on moving as a response to your instincts and the harsh treatment your chest received.

One of his hands was raised, delivering you a harsh slap across the face, causing your movement to cease and your cheek to burn . His voice and height, the way he spoke to you like a master conveyed his authority and his dislike of repeating orders twice … you recognized a commander from their aura and he was definitely one.

Noticing your obedience, his face twisted into a pleased, maniac expression as he cooed "Good...such an obedient pet"

His light tone was far from comforting, the praise he uttered sickened you . his fingers felt like blades as they ran down to stomach, then leisurely to your hips ; fondling them. you shook at what was coming next .

He carried your smaller form effortlessly while your back was still sticking to the cold wall , cupping a handful of your buttocks, the chains now straining at your feet more but loosening up a bit on your wrists .

The sly digits of the devil played with the tissue of your underwear . Your captor had the clear intention of teasing you as he pulled it down, with patience and slowness, eagerly watching your facial features and how they contorted into a weak, helpless mien.

You didn't dare kick or scream (more like too tired to do so) as your body is being violated, nor it seemed you could do anything . you've detached from your body once he let his hot length in, educing a sharp sting that traveled from the bottom to the top and rested in the back of your head , throbbing with even more spasm.

Your brain was completely empty, your corpse was moving on its own as it jumped up and down to meet each sloppy thrust he gave to your entrance.

your senses were submerging - alongside your body - in the surreal pleasure .

Never in your life felt so restless under your own skin . there weren't any exact words in the world that can describe the shatter within - it's like being a puppet : sightly, silent and soulless.

During the rush of internal screams and violent thoughts, a single phrase surfaced : even if this ended, there's still more to come .

a sudden wave of warm tingling and complete relief washed over you, many polychromatic shadows dancing in your vision through a blur of tears. you've reached heaven for a second, then miserably fell back to earth. you recovered some of your realization and thinking when warmth exploded inside you, accompanied by a long, deep groan from the man beneath.

You didn't dare move nor make a sound, you just waited for his next action. After all, you had a hope - no matter how unrealistic this hope is - of being pitied by him, to get out of here and never return, to move on with a wounded existence, better than being trapped with him till death.

His eyes met yours, the light of them was stronger after his climax. He loosened the squeezing grip on your bottom, allowing your feet to touch the ground again with the same painful feeling of metal on your frail skin .

you panicked as his hands reached to the back of your head, expecting another ruthless act of pleasure , but au contraire , he unclasped the collar on your neck, finally letting you pant and take back the air to your lungs.

"You were good for your boss, I shall reward you now"

All of it sunk in now : Doppio was the reason why you are here now, the possessed gleam in his irises was real, as real as this man in front of you - your boss…

your blood ran cold at the realization that you were violated by Passione's head, and what was more breaking that every faith you had for freedom.

Your own release is in death.

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