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adascore · 5 months

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ONE FOR THE MONEY, TWO FOR THE SHOW

pairings: lionesses x captain!reader

warnings: swearing. england’s captain gets a red card for the very first time, and it doesn’t go down well with the team.

author’s note: first time writing for the woso community lol :) anyway, hope you guys like it !!

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''I went for the ball! You have eyes, right?''

The referee gave her a look, the same one a disappointed parent would give their child after letting out a swear word. ''Keep it clean, you know better.''

The England captain had raised an eyebrow at that last bit of the sentence, the officials usually not keeping her experience as a player in mind. Y/N just gave her a mindless nod, the yellow card was given- no need to fight it anymore.

''Clearly not a foul.'' Georgia said to her teammate, sticking out her hand for a subtle high-five.

Y/N chuckled at the midfielder’s words. ''Don’t worry about it, G.'' She slapped her hand, jogging back to her position.

The game continued, more yellow cards having been handed out to both the English and Scottish players. The referee’s patience seemed to have run out by some weird, unknown reason that none of the players had worked out.

Despite this, Y/N wasn’t too worried about her own yellow card. She’s had them plenty of times in the past, for the right and wrong reasons, so she was practically chilling on the pitch as her team led the match 3-0.

However, this changed as Hempo received her first card of the night.

She and the Manchester City player had a great friendship. Lauren joined the squad at a young age, and Y/N knew how hard it could be as the youngest of the team, so she took her under her wing. The younger one had been immensely grateful for the striker’s support, finding a role-model and older sister figure in her.

The captain hadn’t seen what had caused the referee to lift up the yellow card towards the winger, so she separated from the players as they were waiting on a corner, and walked over to the official.

''Why did you give her a yellow card?''

For some reason, the question was too much for the woman in the neon clothing, and without any words, she pulled the same card she had given out seconds ago and held it up high.

Realization dawned on her, the outcome of two yellow cards was one of the easiest rules in football.

Y/N didn’t even see the red card being brought out, her heart dropping to her stomach working as a distraction to her surroundings.

''No, no, no- what did I even do?'' As soon as the gears in her head started going again, her mouth started speaking.

The referee didn’t answer her question, simply letting out a deep breath as she could see the sea of Lionesses running up to her. ''Fucking hell, she didn’t even do anything!'' Rachel yelled, a big frown on her face as she fought her way to the front.

While a large number of her teammates argued back-and-forth with the referee, Millie and Alex brought their younger captain into their arms.

''It’s okay, don’t worry~'' They chorused, repeating the words over and over again, seeing the distress on their teammate’s face.

''I just asked her a question! I swear, it was just a question!'' Y/N defended herself, rambling almost.

''We know, we believe you, don’t worry about it.'' Alex assured her, feeling sad as she watched the captain’s distress unfold.

The referee tried getting closer, urging Y/N to get off the pitch. ''You have to get off now, Y/L!''

''Why are you giving me a fucking red card? I just asked you why Hempo got a yellow! What, we can’t ask questions now?'' She was going through all the stages, anger taking over as she pulled herself out of Millie and Alex’s embrace, stomping over to the referee.

''It was the tone, Y/N.'' She answered, although she didn’t seem too sure herself.

The striker’s eyes widened. ''What tone?! I asked you a simple question!'' She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

''You’re going to give red cards for questions now?!'' Ella spoke up, her voice booming above those of the others.

''Y/N, get off the pitch now, you’ve wasted enough time now.''

The captain had an uncharacteristic, defeated look on her face. She was about to take off her captain band, but a hand stopped her. ''No, you’re not going anywhere.'' Millie grabbed her arm, and gently dragged her behind herself, so the Chelsea player worked as a human shield between the referee and her teammate.

Y/N was touched by her team’s protectiveness. As the captain, she was often the one to stick up for others or argue with the officials a little longer than necessary if it pertained members of her squad. The fact that the center forward had never received a red card in her professional career, must have been an extra factor. She wasn’t a clean player, per say, but she knew how to toy with the boundaries of the game, and her great argumentative skills greatly helped in avoiding being booked.

''You alright?'' Lucy asked, pulling her further away from the chaos.

''I got a fucking red card, Luce! No! I am not okay!'' She let out, the older woman instinctively caressing her back at the visible frustration. ''You’re good, it’s alright.''

''It’s not- oh, fuck sake.'' Y/N swore, glancing away from Lucy to her teammates still fighting her red card with the referee.

LJ joined them, watching the chaos unfold. ''I turn around for one second, and suddenly everyone is running towards the ref.'' Lauren said, her indifferent tone making Lucy chuckle.

''The boss got a red.'' The Barcelona defender explained.

The youngest James sibling's eyes widened. "What? You?" She pointed at the captain, who nodded, unamused.

Y/N could see the official signaling for her to come closer, ignoring the arguments the Lionesses were giving her. ''You have to get off now, this is becoming a hazard. I’m not going to change my decision.'' She said, matter-of-fact.

It was evident that whatever the captain would tell her, would fall on deaf ears. ''Whatever, you’re fucking miserable.'' She looked her in the eyes as the insult was spoken, not an ounce in her mind or body caring about the consequences of it.

The truth was that she was the miserable one. It might have been naive of her to think she could go her entire career without receiving a red card, but she didn’t expect today to be the day.

She walked over to Millie, taking the captain's band off and handing it over, without saying anything further.

The rest of the English squad watched with sad eyes, and disheartened feelings as their captain, and arguably most important player, walked off the pitch with still double digits in game time left.

Sarina had jumped out of her seat the minute the referee pulled the second yellow card out of her pocket, infuriated over one of her key (and personal favorite) players being expelled from the game over something silly as asking why her teammate was being booked.

As Y/N passed her to go inside the tunnel, the Dutchwoman grabbed her hand, her eyes still on the game. ''We’ll talk, okay?'' Sarina didn’t expect an answer back, having worked with the player long enough to know she would want to chat with her about it.

It was a despairing sight to see the world-class player stroll all alone to the changing room, her usual confident aura replaced for hung shoulders, and eyes that told the entire world what she thought of herself.

Disappointing.

That was the best word she could come up with to summarize her feelings; disappointed in herself, disappointed in the officials, but above all, she felt like she had disappointed her team and staff- and as the captain, that was something hard to swallow.

She sat alone in the changing room- members of the staff figuring she wanted to be left on her own.

That changed as the door opened.

Keira had been subbed off a few minutes before the incident had happened, Katie taking her place on the midfield. She, along with the entire bench, had a hard time believing what was happening in front of them.

A bad feeling settled in her as Y/N walked off the pitch all by herself, not a single soul following her. Therefore, the Barcelona player excused herself and trailed their captain.

''You mind?'' She already knew the answer, but asking didn’t hurt.

Y/N shook her head, motioning for Keira to take the spot next to her. ''You? Never.''

''How you feeling?''

''Like shit.''

''Yeah, I predicted that.''

The striker chuckled at the monotone voice, feeling some sort of delight after what felt like forever. ''I’m so confused.''

''You’re not the only one. I didn’t hear what you said, but it couldn’t have been that bad for you to get another yellow- and don’t even get me started on the first one, obviously not a foul.'' Keira rambled, yet sounding sophisticated.

''I just- I feel like I let everyone down. I know we’re leading the game, but still- I should be out there playing. I’m the captain for fuck sake.'' Y/N swung her arm towards the door, before letting it fall on her knee with a hard slap.

Keira sighed at her words. ''You’re always so hard on yourself. No one is angry at you or disappointed.''

''I’m not hard on myself, Kei. I just have an important role in this team, so I can’t afford to make mistakes.'' The captain clarified, although it didn’t do much to dispute the midfielder’s words.

''Yeah, that sounds like someone who is not a perfectionist.'' The sarcastic tone didn’t escape Y/N, and she bumped their shoulders. ''No, but, come one. You know what I mean- not only do I have to keep the entire team together, I also have to score goals or make sure that someone else scores them.''

It was the first time she had truly expressed the pressure that was being put on her, she was known in the team for keeping it all to herself. Keira attentively listened, feeling almost honored it was her that the captain was venting to.

''I like the pressure, though. I know I can handle it, I’ve been doing that for years, I know I was only made captain cause Steph got injured, but it’s still a huge deal to me, you know? I know I don’t always say it, but it really does.''

''We know it does. You might not say it, but it shows. You’re the best captain I’ve ever got to work with, you have a way of getting everyone together.'' Keira interjected, complimenting her leadership skills.

Y/N raised her eyebrows at the praise. ''Best captain, huh? So better than Alexia?'' She mentioned the captain at Barcelona.

Keira lightly slapped her arm. ''Yeah, you like that, huh? Don’t tell her that, though.''

''You know I’ll tell her as soon as I get the chance.'' Of course the England captain wouldn’t mention it, but making her friend think that didn’t hurt.

''If that makes you smile, then I’ll take it.''

''You’re flattering me, Kei.'' Y/N muttered, not quite believing the praise that was coming out of her mouth.

The midfielder scoffed. ''Hey! I’m being genuine!'' She exclaimed, almost offended. ''Don’t let this one game affect your confidence. I know you like everything perfect, but these kinds of things are out of our hands,'' she referred to the referee’s decisions, ''you’re still the boss, you know? Or what did they say after the Euro’s… you’re an icon.''

The captain gave Keira a little shake at the mention of the compliment she had been given by a reporter after the final at Wembley, embarrassed by being called iconic. ''Oh, shut it, you!''

''It’s true, though! It stings right now, but you’ll get over it. By the time the next game comes around, no one will be talking about it anymore.'' Keira’s words did give her some comfort, knowing it was the truth.

''Yeah, I know… It was kinda cute, though- the way everyone was defending me.'' A small smile found its way to the player's face.

''You always do it for us, so it was time we all do it for you.'' She simply said, as if it was not a big deal.

Y/N did not answer, unsure of what an appropriate follow-up could be.

''Did you see Tooney’s face? I know she was being serious, but it was too good.'' Keira chuckled, reminding the captain of the way Ella immediately started yelling with a scowl.

The striker laughed a bit louder this time, starting to see the humour in the situation. ''Yeah, what a lovely girl.''

''She was ready to start a revolution for you. Probably still is.'' Keira grinned, enjoying the shift in Y/N's mood.

''And then you had LJ who didn't even know what was happening, she came up to me and Lucy- totally confused.'' Y/N explained.

The midfielder bursted into laughter at Y/N's revelation. ''Wait, LJ didn't get the memo?''

''No, she just casually walked up to us and was like 'why is everyone running towards the ref?' I guess she thought it was a new halftime tradition or something. Lucy filled her in and her eyes almost bulged out of her head.'' The captain chuckled at the memory.

''Classic LJ.'' Keira remarked.

As they chatted, the sound of the crowd outside the changing room echoed, reminding Y/N of the ongoing game.

''I should apologize to the team later.'' Y/N considered, realizing she hadn't addressed her teammates properly after the incident.

''No, they know you're not the problem here. Besides, we all know you're not a fan of early showers.'' Keira teased.

She chuckled at her friend's joke, but couldn't shake off the feeling of dejection. Keira noticed her demeanor was shifting again.

''Don't worry about it, they know you didn't do anything wrong,'' Keira reassured her. ''Besides, half of them are probably still arguing with the referee about the whole situation.''

Y/N snorted at the mental image. ''True, they're a protective bunch.''

''Well, we've got a great, certain center forward to look up to,'' the Barcelona player winked, ''you're still our captain, Y/N. Red card or not.'' Keira added, a genuine smile on her face.

''Thanks, Kei,'' Y/N said, appreciating the support. She leaned back against the locker, trying to let go of the frustration that still lingered.

''You know, you should focus on the positives,'' Keira suggested, her tone thoughtful. ''We're winning 3-0, and I'm sure the girls have got an extra motivation now.''

''I guess you're right,'' Y/N sighed, ''I just wanna fucking play.''

''I know, but you can still analyze, see things you wouldn't notice on the pitch.''

''Always the optimist,'' the captain teased, a small smile breaking through. ''I'll try to channel my inner tactical genius from the sidelines.''

As they continued chatting, a sudden knock echoed through the changing room, drawing both Y/N and Keira's attention. The door swung open, and in walked another teammate, a familiar face with a sheepish expression.

''Are you fucking kidding me, Hempo?'' The striker exclaimed, though there was an amused grin present.

Lauren shrugged her shoulders, sitting down in her cubby. ''I figured I'd join the exclusive red card club with the captain.''

''Seems like it's the trend today.'' Keira added, joining in on the laughter.

''Y/N always tells me to just follow her lead, so…''

''Hempo, this isn't what I meant by that.''

The trio shared more laughs as they bantered through their early exits of the game. The tension of the match outside seemed to disappear as they focused on their camaraderie.

requests are always welcome!

#woso x reader #lionesses x reader #lucy bronze x reader #keira walsh x reader #woso fanfics #millie bright x reader #alex greenwood x reader #woso imagine #engwnt #engwnt x reader #lauren hemp x reader #georgia stanway x reader

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dearestaussiechannie · 11 months

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☀︎ Your Mom Showed Me Your Baby Pictures ☀︎— Lee Felix

word count: 2.4k

paring: Felix x afab!reader

genre: Fluff

warnings: afab!reader, boyfriend!Felix, pet names (sweetie, love, beautiful, sunshine), kissing (goes no further), engagement, proposing, mentions Hyunjin, if I left anything out please let me know, kinda proof-read

Felix had thought out absolutely everything that you guys would do for your vacation back to his parents house in Australia. He had the restaurants picked, theme parks, beach days, you name it and he’d planned it. Sadly things weren't going to his plan. Due to the sudden change of weather, you'd caught a cold.

It's been three days and your symptoms are barely easing up. Your fever had finally broken early this morning but you still had body aches and a sniffly nose. No matter how much you insisted that you could do everything he wanted, he refused to let you leave the house, which wasn’t a bad thing since this meant that you'd get to know his siblings and parents better.

Everyone had been super understanding and helpful while you were sick, whether that was his mom making you something to eat that was light on your stomach, or Olivia coming to watch a movie with you (on separate sides of the room so she didn’t get sick), or Rachel bringing you a fresh blanket out of the laundry when Felix had told her you were shaking from your fever.

They had all been so nice, even before you were sick and just got to talk to them over the phone. His mother and father would constantly ask about you if you weren't present for the calls, at least that's what he told you, sisters texting you constantly to just check in. The funniest conversations were with Olivia though. She would constantly send you funny memes of her older brother or the thirst traps that would pop up on her tik tok, messaging the same thing every time, “this is what you’re into *barf*”.

Today was no different besides the fact that you'd pulled yourself out of Felixs’ room to sit in the living room when his mother saw you. Her smile warmed the room just like her sons would, making you smile back to her. “Hi sweetie, are you looking for Felix?” She asked you before walking over and rubbing your shoulders, placing her hand on your head to see if you still had a fever.

You now see where Felix gets his tenderness from, it was the woman standing in front of you. Going back to her question, you shake your head before wrapping the blanket tighter around you. “No Mrs. Lee, I just wanted some fresh air… the room was becoming suffocating.” you respond, watching her roll her eyes when you call her that as she's told you many times you just refer to her as mom at least a hundred times by now. “Gotcha, well he went out to lunch with his father and sisters, so it's just the two of us here right now. Are you hungry? I can make you something.” but before she finished speaking, you're being pulled to the table and she disappears into the kitchen.

You sit and listen to her little stories of when the Lee siblings were little, giggling when she makes sure to tell you the embarrassing things Felix did while he was still in school. Eventually food was done and she'd made enough for the both of you to have lunch together, saying it was nice was an understatement. The food was delicious and her company was amazing, always making sure that you were okay and didn't need more to drink, getting you the medication you needed for your cold, talking to you not only about her kids but also asking you about your childhood and your parents.

Once lunch was over, the two of you had moved back to the livingroom and continued the conversation on the couch. Suddenly she stands up and hurries out, only to return with large books and a bright smile. “Has Felix ever shown you any of his baby pictures?” She asks as she sits back beside you, quite close so that you could look through the books together. You simply shake your head with a large smile, excited for what would come next.

The two of you flip through the books, giggling at the silly photos, stopping when his mother would start telling the story behind certain ones. You couldn't hold in a particularly loud laugh when you see a photo of him from the early years of grade school, leaned up against what looks like a tree in a white button up with a blue grid pattern. “He looks like a little business man!” you say as you look over at his mother who's nodding her head laughing with you. “That's what happens when dad picks your clothes for picture day.”

You flip through more pages, taking a couple pictures of the ones you'd want to look back at. Some time goes by and you've finished looking through the photos, his mother puts the books away and not soon after, the rest of the family walks through the door. You smile when you see your sweet sunshine walk inside, making his way straight to you. You stand up and hug him tightly, his arms pulling you tightly to him by your lower back before pulling one away to feel your head. “No fever, Love?” he asks you, brushing the hair out of your face. “It broke this morning before I woke up, I've been spending time with your mom.” You respond, looking over at her before you see her put a finger over her lips, silently shushing you and you know why, his baby pictures.

A few days have passed since then and since you were finally feeling better, the two of you started doing all of the things that Felix had planned. You're out at dinner with your boyfriend and you couldn't have asked for anything more. The two of you ate and held small conversations, telling him about lunch with his mother the other day and him telling you about everything he did with his father and sisters while you were sick. Dinner was eventually over and the two of you were on your way back before Felix suddenly turned in the opposite direction of his house.

You just look at him for a few minutes before curiosity gets the best of you. “Lixie, where are we going?” The question leaving your lips, making him glance over at you before slowly grabbing your hand in his free one, pulling it up and rubbing your knuckles against his lips. “You just looked so pretty in that dress, I wasn't ready to go home yet.” He answers, car turning again making your eyes fall away from him only to be met with the sight of water, the moon reflecting on it and waves gently splashing against the bay. Your cheeks flushed as he parked the car, getting out and walking to your side, opening the door for you and slowly taking off the white heels that matched your dress before helping you out of the car.

He carried you to the sand so that the road wouldn't hurt your feet. You insisted that if he had let you keep on your heels, you could have walked but he didn’t want them to be ruined by the sand. Once into the sand, Felix slowly puts you down, making sure both feet are on the ground before completely letting you go. He looks at you with a smile, glancing quickly down at your lips before putting his hands on your hips and pulling you close to him before gently placing his lips against yours. The kiss is very gentle, lips moving against the others with a slight rhythm, your arms draped over his shoulders as you play with his hair and his hands moving to your lower back, rubbing small circles.

Once you break away from the kiss, you lean your forehead against his before giggling and running towards the water. You're about to shin deep when Felix finally gets in since he had to take off his socks and shoes as well as roll up his pants quite a bit so that they didn't get too wet. He runs up to you causing the water to splash and you to squeal as the cold water suddenly hits the back of your thighs, his arms wrapping around you, kissing your shoulder gently. “Now we're both all wet, what about your car?” you ask him, raising an eyebrow when he starts giggling, smile shining so bright even in the dark.

“So… there's actually towels in the backseat. I knew that I would eventually take you to the beach so I put them in the car just before we found out you caught a cold.” He admits, moving a hand from your back to the back of his neck, rubbing it slowly. You can't help but laugh before cupping his cheeks to make him look at you then showering his face in soft but quick pecks. This makes him chuckle, putting his hands on yours before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone, putting on a soft playlist that Hyunjin had sent to him when he told him his plan.

“May I have this dance, beautiful?” he asks, nerves building in his stomach with his hand outstretched to you. You nod, softly placing your hand into his. The two of you dance slowly, hearing him hum along before he slowly spins you making you laugh as the water splashes around you. You both somehow manage to make it back into the sand as the song changes, sand sticking to your feet but the two of you could care less. The only thing that mattered in this very moment was each other.

“I want you to spin three times for me this time with your eyes closed, okay?” He asks, words more like a demand than a question so you simply nod. He smiles sweetly before spinning you, making sure your eyes are closed on the first spin, he reaches into his pocket and drops down onto his knee. He watches the way that your dress spins with you, the way your hair flows in the wind so effortlessly and the beautiful smile on your face as you make that third spin. He knew now that he was making the right decision. His nerves climb into his throat when you've stopped spinning.

You open your eyes only to realize you're facing the wrong way which makes you laugh. “Lixie why didn't you tell me to turn arou-” You ask him, lips falling silent before you could finish your sentence when you see him. He's in front of you on one knee, smiling so bright you’d bet your last dime that it'd put the sun itself out of business. Your hands quickly cover your mouth as you step closer to him, each step shaky as if you're unsure that your legs can hold you up.

“L/n Y/n, you're the most amazing, beautiful, funniest, most caring person I've ever had the opportunity to meet. You always make me smile, help me through anything that I’m having trouble with and even though you get into my baked goods before I say anything about it amazes me. The way that you also take care of my friends makes me realize every single day what an amazing person you are. I’m in love with you and have been since that first date we went on. Will you make me the happiest man to walk the earth and spend the rest of my life with me? Will you marry me?” He asks a bit shaky in the beginning, finding more confidence in his words as he continues.

“Yes!! Oh my god Yes!!” you shout at him with excitement before you drop to your knees in front of him. He gently grabs your hand and slips the ring onto your finger. It was a perfect fit and he couldn't thank Olivia more for finding out your ring size for him a few months ago. You look at your hand in his and the beautiful ring on your finger as you feel your bottom lip begin quivering. You look up at him, noticing that his is the same, eyes watering as yours do the same.

You quickly wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly and kissing him a bit hard but neither of you care. Both of you stay like this for some time before slipping apart, staring at each other, laughing softly as he rubs the new ring on your hand. Eventually the both of you make your way back to the car, drying off after using a water bottle out of the car to get all the sand off. The ride home wasn't a long one but time has felt at stand still since you saw him on one knee.

You both walk back inside and to his room, changing into more comfortable clothes and crawling into the bed. You put your phone on the charger and he finally sees your lock screen. “What was that?” He asks, a bit shocked when he sees the photo. How'd you get that? Isn't that his moms coffee table? “Hmm?” is all you say back to him, acting clueless as you try to finish getting ready for bed. “Y/n. How'd you get that photo?” He asks, knowing the answer but he wants you to confirm it. “Oh, you mean the little cutie on my lock screen? Your mom showed me your baby pictures the other day and I just couldn't help it. I wanted to be able to look at it again without having to bother her.” You answer him.

“This is what I get for telling her that I was gonna propose to you while we're here.” He rumbles as he rubs his temples. “Oh shush. You look like a cute little business man who is now all grown up and oh so very very handsome and engaged.” You say, pushing your hand in his direction which makes him smile. He gently grabs your hand and his phone in the other, taking a picture of your hand and sending it to his group chat.

1 Attachment. “I did it you guys!! She's gonna be Mrs. Lee Y/n soon!!”

He then locks his phone, hearing the pings going off but his attention has shifted back to you, gazing lovingly at you as you brush your hair.

“I’m in love with you, Beautiful.”

“And I’m in love with you, Sunshine.”

Taglist: (to be added, comment or message me♡)

#dearestaussiechannie writes♡#lee felix x you #lee felix x female reader #lee felix x y/n #lee felix x reader #felix x you #felix x y/n #felix x reader #skz x female reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #skz x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x female reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #lee felix imagines #lee felix fluff

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hier--soir · 6 months

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a lover's pinch | six

joel miller x f!reader

pairing: professor!joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni summary: joel and rachel have dinner. a confession is made. warnings/tags: au, university professor joel, age gap [20 something years diff], ethically dubious relationship due to inherent power imbalance, JOEL POV, sexting/nudes, joel has bad restaurant etiquette lmao, descriptions of arousal, references to past smut, the guilt and shame that sometimes go so neatly hand in hand with wanting, miller daughter cameo, mild angst, discussion of a car accident. word count: 4.8k series masterlist | main masterlist a lover's pinch playlist a/n: just a reminder that this is set within ALP5, when joel goes to have dinner w rachel. just a short little peek into my beloved professor’s mind, and some context between j & r. hope you like it x follow @hier--soirupdates if you'd like to be notified when i share my writing this is part six of ALP. you can read the previous parts here: one, two, three, four, five.

Sunday.

“Nina thinks it’ll rain tomorrow. Overcast too, probably.”

There’s a faint hum through the phone as she speaks. A vague buzz that crackles and pops in almost every beat of silence. Not for the first time, Joel wishes she would let him buy her a new phone.

A gust of wind whips against his face and he cringes, turning his back against the draft.

“Okay,” he replies. “That’s okay, right?”

“It’s fine,” she grumbles. “Wanted to take you to this bar, though. They do these tacos we love. Nina says it’s the best Mexican place in New York.”

“Now how many times do I have to tell you there’s no good Mexican food in New York?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Joel can practically hear her rolling her eyes. He chuckles.

“What time are you coming ‘round?” Ellie asks. “I’ll be in the studio for most of the day, but we normally get home around five. Could do dinner around eight?”

Joel hesitates, and then raises his voice to be heard over the rushing wind. “I was actually thinkin’ I’d come see your studio.”

A moment of humming, crackling silence.

“I’d love to see some of your work,” he continues, peering in through the window of the restaurant. He thinks he can see Rachel through the frosted glass – her mess of dark curls vaguely visible, tucked away somewhere in the corner of the space. He hears Ellie breathing through the phone as he looks. “And s’been too long since you showed your old man any of your paintings.”

“Joel,” she huffs, and it’s that smartass, pained tone that has him grinning wider than anything she’s said up until this point.

It’s few and far between lately – hearing that name coming from her mouth. Joel. Something that’s been intermittent for almost a decade, and has been steadily decreasing since she moved to New York five years ago.

Joel, Dad, Joel, Dad, Joel, Dad.

Joel for years, and then one day—Dad.

It was Summer; Ellie was eighteen and he was thirty-nine, and this word that he’d grown so accustomed to hearing suddenly felt like a fist squeezing around his heart. It became something new, something different. Because Joel knew that, for her, family had always meant mistrust. Had always meant loneliness. Knew that sometimes her childhood felt like a knife stuck in her throat, and on those days, she had to decide whether to leave it in and stem the blood flow, or pluck out the blade and watch everything turn red.

And then one day, years on, it seemed that she’d drawn that dagger enough times. The blood stopped, the mistrust fell away, and—Dad.

Dad to Sarah and now, finally, Dad to Ellie.

“Ellie,” he imitates her tone, well-versed in mirroring her attitude after so many years of practice.

A voice rears up directly behind him and Joel stiffens, glancing over his shoulder to watch a couple exit the restaurant. Coat collars dragged up to protect their necks, arms linked as they smile and start down the street. He imagines Rachel sitting inside, alone, and his smile falters. He knows he should go back in soon, but can’t quite bring himself to cut this short.

“Yeah, okay,” Ellie answers finally, and he can feel the weight that rests in those words.

The admission, but also everything that goes unsaid alongside it. A silent acknowledgement of years spent reading between the lines, trying to know each other; years of her locking her bedroom door, hiding her journals, her artbooks, her pencils. Anything to keep someone else from seeing the way she expresses herself – from understanding that she feels anything. And this yeah, okay – well, it’s as close to I love you as the two of them ever get.

Joel says, “I’ve been missin’ you, kiddo.”

And she says, “I know.”

More silence. More contemplation of how to respond, how to keep emotions level when he is not Joel in this moment, but Dad.

Plucking out the blade.

“Ten tomorrow morning. I’ll send you the address,” Ellie says after a while. “Don’t be late or I’m not showing you shit, old man.”

Heat blasts his face when he steps back inside the restaurant. He tugs his jacket off as he wanders his way toward their little corner table inside San Vecchio—old saint. A small Italian place that Rachel likes to visit whenever she’s the city, and has slowly but surely grown on him.

When he gets close enough to see the table his stomach drops, face twisting into something apologetic as he lowers himself into his chair.

“Shit,” Joel mutters, staring at their food. Brought out while he was on the phone, sitting untouched; she didn’t even pick up her fork in his absence. A shameful heat rises in his face. “I’m sorry, Rach.”

“Hon,” she just laughs him off. “It’s okay, it only just came out.”

He nods, grateful, and lets her pour him a generous glass of wine. Red. A bottle of the Carignan, please, he remembers her telling the waiter. Although, when he takes a sip, he can’t tell the difference between this and the twenty-dollar cabernet he buys once a fortnight from the grocer.

They press the lips of their glasses together and murmur soft calls of cheers and another conference done, the words all but swallowed up by the raucous sounds around them.

“How is she then?” she prompts, never able to tame her curiosity.

“Ellie?” Joel’s eyebrows jut up, and he sets his wine glass down. “Good, yeah, good. It was nice to hear her voice, I, uh, I’ve missed too many of that kid’s calls over the past few months.”

Rachel nods, and when she smiles his chest feels a little lighter, because it’s the type of smile that says it’s okay, everything is okay, you’re a good dad, you took the call. And she has always had that kind of soothing effect on him, since the day he met her all those years ago. There’s this compassion to her character; a warmth akin to that of a sister. Smarter than hell and kinder than she’s ever been given credit for.

“Are you seeing her while you’re in town?”

“Mhm, tomorrow.”

“Well, that will be lovely,” she beams and takes a sip of her wine. Carignan stains her mouth. “Is she still with Nina?”

“She is.”

“God, that must be, what, four years they’ve been together now? That’s great, Joel.”

“I’m happy for her,” he smiles, gripping his fork. “They’re renting out this art studio together at the moment – Nina’s an artist too, did I—?”

“Yeah, you told me.”

“Yeah, they’ve been using the space to work on some new stuff. Ellie was tellin’ me ‘bout this gallery downtown, how they’ve offered her some exhibit space. Gonna have a show down there in March.”

“Wow, that sounds amazing,” Rachel’s eyebrows raise, top lip quirking into a soft smirk as she twirls her fork through a mess of red pasta. “Do you think they’ll get married? Follow in Sarah and Tim’s footsteps?”

Joel can’t help but laugh at the idea. He tries to imagine Ellie and Nina in a chapel, or on a beach, or anywhere, professing their love for one another with friends and family watching on. Tries to imagine Ellie, all tattoos, messy hair, and gangly arms, tucked into a suit or a dress. The image doesn’t come easily.

“I don’t really think they’re the type,” he admits, and Rachel laughs too then.

“No,” she agrees. “I guess not.”

She asks more questions about the girls, the way she always does. Asks about Sarah’s job at the primary school, if teaching is all she thought it would be.

And something like halfway through their meal, around a mouthful of food, Rachel says, “You know I’m glad we’re here, because I need to ask you something.”

Joel’s hands still, face going slack as he meets her eye. There’s something conniving in them. Something sly in the way she smiles, baring her teeth at him. It makes his stomach twist into a tight, burning knot. What does she know?

“Okay,” he says slowly, lowering his knife.

“So,” she hums. “At the conference yesterday…”

“Yeah?” he rasps, blunt nails digging into his thigh beneath the table.

“I couldn’t ask you about it because I didn’t want anyone to overhear us, but… did you see what Professor Neilson was wearing? That blazer?”

“Jesus,” he deflates.

“Oh, come on,” she sputters, and there’s lipstick stained on her front teeth and he finds himself smiling too, relaxing.

“You’re a filthy gossip, you know that?” he raises an eyebrow.

She grins back at him. Winks and says, “Don’t act like you don’t love it, Miller.”

So, for an hour they eat, and talk, and drink. Don’t stop until their cheeks are sore from smiling and their ribs are tight and aching from laughter.

With full bellies and rosy cheeks, they scrape their plates clean. Lips purse and pucker around final sips of wine, and then… and then Rachel reaches across the table and places her hand atop his.

And Joel has never noticed that she has sunspots across her knuckles. Never noticed that she wears a ring on her pinkie finger, one with a dark emerald stone in the middle. Never noticed the thin white scar beside the nail on her index. She squeezes his hand, the pad of a finger skimming his wrist, and he remembers how he held someone else’s wrist only hours before this. Felt her skin beneath his fingers – the frailty of the tendons and veins beneath it, swimming with life as his thumb pressed down.

Joel feels his eye twitch. Works to keep his face relaxed, calm. And when she leaves her hand there, he laughs a little. A choked, wary sound. Turns his hand over so his knuckles are against the table and his palm is against her palm and squeezes once in return. Rachel isn’t smiling anymore.

“You okay, Rach?”

“Do you…” she pauses, mouth twisting into a shy smile as she clears her throat. Joel feels something heavy settle in his stomach. A type of dread that curdles and burns like red sky at morning. “Do you remember when Sarah was in that car accident a few years back?”

Joel swallows. Her hand feels too warm against his, her palm tacky with sweat.

“We were… we were at work, and… and Tim called you and told you she was in the hospital—”

He almost cringes at the memory. Her husband’s name flashing across his phone screen during a lecture. Stomach churning and why is Tim calling me, heart racingand Tim never calls. Remembers hearing those panicky breaths down the line and thinking Texas and Maine had never felt further apart than in that moment.

“You drove me to the airport,” he nods. His knuckles feel tight – he wants to pull his hand back and crack them. Wants to feel the joints pop beneath his skin, let the tension slip away like a sigh.

“You were so distraught,” Rachel sighs. “I’d never seen you like that. So uncomposed, so… chaotic.”

Joel huffs out an awkward laugh and tries to pull his hand back, but she squeezes harder. Keeps it in place beneath her own.

“What’s this all about?” his eyebrows furrow, face pinching into a sort of scowl. He can feel it, he can always feel it when his face does this. So unpleasant, so unwelcoming, and he knows it. Just never figured out how to stop it from happening.

“We were in the car,” she continues, and her eyes are so earnest now. So wide, the whites shining, her lashes darkened and fanned out around them in a way he’s never seen before. She’s wearing makeup. “And you didn’t even have a bag packed, you just wanted to get to your girl. Needed to see her with your own eyes, make sure she was okay.”

His jaw feels tight inside his head; teeth clenched painfully, digging into the gums around his molars as the memory plays in his mind.

Tim’s voice wavering, crying, she was unconscious when they pulled her out.

His hand is numb beneath Rachel’s. She’s fine, he reminds himself. Sarah’s fine, that was years ago.

“I think I knew then,” she says quietly.

“Knew what?” Joel tries to keep his voice level. Ignoring the odd feeling that twists in his chest and has his heart racing faster, so much faster than normal, faster than it has ever raced for Rachel.

“That I loved you.”

It’s almost dreamlike, the way everything seems to blur and fade around them after she says it. Or perhaps nightmarish is the right word. A sharp pain sparks between his ribs and he feels his body stiffen and then loosen all at once. Face, shoulders, hand beneath hers – everything softens. Fuck. His mouth tastes like sandpaper, tongue resting fat and gravelly against the roof of it as she stares at him.

When he doesn’t say a word, she says, “I’d always known you were so kind, so generous to the people around you. But to see the way you love? It’s… shit, Joel, I just knew.”

He’s convinced his throat is tightening.

“And I held it in all of these years, and I’m sorry for that. I was just never sure of how you felt, and you never tried anything with me, never hinted at any feelings. But after the conference yesterday...”

“The conference?” he whispers. He pictures that bench outside NYU. Remembers the nasty wind, an empty champagne flute on the ground, the side of his body going hot where it pressed against hers.

“Walking around that hall together,” Rachel smiles. “You kept holding your arm out for me to hold, and I thought, god, maybe this is it. Maybe you actually feel the same.”

Joel imagines that this must be what people describe as critical velocity. Everything that once was smooth turns turbulent. Every second, every minute, that he’s allowed himself to careen forward, wanton and reckless, on the deliciously destructive course he’s set for himself – all of it just for someone close to him to step directly into his line of fire.

And his silence is so painfully telling. He knows immediately when it’s been too long, too much quiet, too many seconds of nothing said, of no reassurances offered. The muscle in her jaw ticks, and a vertical line appears between pinched eyebrows. Confusion, surprise, hurt. Her hand pulls back, and he tucks his in his lap quickly.

“Oh,” she whispers. “Oh, shit.”

Joel is suddenly certain that he’s going to be sick. His hands shake beneath the table, a violent tap tap tap where they’re clasped against the inside of his thigh.

“Rachel—”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“Please, don’t apol—”

“I shouldn’t have said—”

“Rachel,” Joel’s voice raises, just a little, just enough to make her pause, enough for conversation at the table beside them to halt for a second. “If anythin’, I should be the one apologisin’.”

She laughs; a sad, quiet thing. Shakes her head at him.

“I guess I… somewhere in my head, I thought you knew,” Rachel says quietly. “Thought you….” The unspoken words hang in the air between them. Thought you felt the same.

And it hurts. His skin prickles at the sound of her voice; laced with pain, with rejection. Your fault, he thinks. That pain is your fault.

“Is there someone else?” she asks then, and her voice is so feeble. So small, so un-Rachel that it makes his chest feel tight. Your fault.

Joel sighs, cringes, fumbles for the right words. The words to explain something that he himself doesn’t even fully understand. Words that will make her feel better, that will put her at ease. Put him at ease.

“It’s not….” he trails off, half-prepared to lie. But then he meets her gaze. Sees the tears that have settled on her waterline and knows he can’t. Wants to hate her for asking, wants to beg her to take back the question. But in the end he just admits quietly, “I suppose there is.”

She sniffles, and when she speaks again, it almost sounds like a question.

“You never mentioned anyone.”

“I know,” Joel nods. “I’m sorry, I think I just… it’s complicated, and it… it’s new.”

“New,” she repeats softly. “And you never… you never thought of me that way.” This time it isn’t posed like a question. There is nothing open ended about it. Instead it’s resigned; final.

The corners of her mouth are downturned, and her lower lip wobbles, a movement so miniscule that he could have missed it if his eyes weren’t trained on her face. Trying painfully to understand this situation that feels as if it has crept up on him in his sleep.

“I’m sorry,” Joel finds himself saying again, and he thinks his eyes must be wide, unblinking, because they’re dry, and he feels panicked.

In his mind all he can think of is every cup of coffee in her office, every borrowed book, every sly joke in the corridor at work. Comforting smiles offered at conferences, snarky notes passed back and forth during faculty meetings. His friend. One of the truest, longest, most persevering ones in his life. One so dear to his heart. The idea of all of that being no more seems almost too painful to contemplate in the middle of a restaurant, with your fault thundering in his chest.

Rachel waves a hand. Feigns nonchalance and offers a watery smile.

“I’m happy for you, Joel,” she says. He doesn’t miss the waver in her voice, nor the harsh splash of crimson humiliation that stains the skin of her face. “I am. Really.”

Except he doesn’t know how to respond to that, doesn’t know what there is to be happy for. Can only watch her face. Can only sit, and stare like a fool at the way the skin beneath her eyes tightens as she draws back tears.

“I’m—” Rachel swallows. Sucks in a huge breath and flattens her palms against the table. Her napkin, stained with soft blots of red and brown, is pressed beneath the fingers of her left hand. The one with the sunspots and the ring and the scar. “Sorry, if you’ll excuse me for a minute, I’m going to use the restroom—”

“Rach,” he tries, hand reaching across the table for—for what? Joel isn’t sure. What is there to do? To say? “What can I do?”

“It’s okay,” she stands, holds a hand out to silence him. Steps out from the behind table and squeezes past him. Her fingers brush against his arm as she goes. “It’s fine, I’m fine, I just need a second to freshen up.”

Joel watches her weave through the restaurant, shifting around tables, until her back disappears through a door at the far end of the room.

There’s a minute of painful quiet. A sort of buzzing in his ears that won’t go away. For a moment all he’s aware of is the look of disdain coming from the woman on the table to his left, and the sharp pain in his chest, and then the sounds of the restaurant come rushing back in. Cutlery scraping against plates, conversation, laughter, the sound of a bell ringing. And something buzzing, really truly buzzing this time. Something against his leg.

Joel pulls his phone out of his pocket and tries not to wince when he sees her name on the screen.

Are you enjoying your dinner?

The glance he spares over his shoulder is short, searching, looking to see if she’s coming back yet. Don’t make this worse than it already is.

Yeah, the restaurant is nice.

What are you doing?

Well my bags are packed, and I just tucked myself into bed

Something tightens in his stomach, and he knows what she’s doing, knows this game so well. The way she always manages to creep beneath his skin. Knows exactly what to say, to do, to have him hanging on her every word.

His fingers hover over the screen, contemplating a response.

Is that right? he types out, and then grimaces, backspacing quickly.

Want some company? he types next.

“Christ,” Joel mutters under his breath, erasing that too.

Embarrassment itches across his body. And then guilt, like a tidal wave chaser rushing to cool his inflamed skin, as he notices Rachel walking back toward him. You fucking asshole.

He straightens in his seat, tucking his phone out of sight as she hovers beside the table, eyes darting between him and her empty chair. She doesn’t sit down again.

“I think,” she takes a deep breath. “I think I should probably go. Early flight to catch, you know? I need to get some rest.”

“Yeah,” he says quietly.

He can feel his mouth hanging open, dumbfounded, ridiculous, as his brain scavenges for something to say. Never the right words, never when he needs them. Not for her, and not for Rachel.

Rachel reaches for her purse, and he holds out a hand. “Hey, let me… I’ll cover this.”

She pauses, nods. “Thanks.”

“Course,” he says gruffly. She pulls her coat from the back of her chair, wraps it around herself and does the buttons up slowly. Her mascara is smudged. “Hey, Rach, can we… should we talk about this some more? I don’t want to—”

“Not tonight,” she interrupts sharply. “Please, Joel, I’m sorry, just…. not tonight.”

—lose you.

“Sure, okay.” His throat is tight, your fault lodged heavy against his Adam’s apple. “You need help to get a taxi?”

“I’m fine,” she places a hand lightly on his shoulder, and presses her thumb against the skin beneath his collarbone. “Get home safe, okay? We can talk in Maine.”

“In Maine,” he repeats, and the words split and sour inside his mouth. “Okay.”

He doesn’t watch her leave. Doesn’t want to have to see her retreating from him. Doesn’t want to think about if this will be the last time they get to do this.

The waiter returns and he pays the bill, hastily jotting down a generous tip, and offers the women at the table on his left a tight-lipped smile before standing up.

When he finally makes his way outside, he finds a tax idling by the curb, lights on. The driver notices Joel staring; rolls down the window and raises his eyebrows. Where to?

Joel only shakes his head a little, leans his back against the dank, cold brick wall behind him. He takes a deep, shuddering breath before opening his phone, and sends two words.

Show me.

And then, when she doesn’t respond for a moment, he sends another message. Insistent now. Desperate, and even more desperate not to let it show.

I know you want to show me, sweetheart.

And when she does show him, it takes all of his might not to let this guilt consume him. Takes everything not to ruminate on how quickly he can shift from I’m sorry to Show me.

Because her skin.

So much skin.

Soft, smooth; shrouded in a robe that covers more than he’d like, and he knows how it tastes. Knows how it feels. Could press his fingers, his lips, his nose, to every part of it that he’s touched, in the exact same places, from memory alone.

It’s cold outside – windy, the beginnings of tomorrow’s storm twisting through the air. He feels it snake across his neck, curl beneath the lip of his collar, as he takes in the curve of her breast, the stiff point of her nipple, peeking out from behind white fabric. His cock stiffens in his pants.

He gazes at the softest part of her stomach, the thatch of curls that cover her mound, and wants to press his palms against the plush of her thighs. Wants to lay himself atop her, feel that skin against his again, hear her whimper and moan beneath the broad weight of him as he slips inside her. Wants to snatch her finger from her mouth and glide it inside his own. With her slick and her skin against his tongue, he’d sink his teeth in and inhale that warmth, that beating, pulsating force that he’s found himself so intoxicated by.

And to think, only hours ago, he was doing just that. Lowering himself to the ground in a public bathroom and drinking her down. Feeling the muscles in her thighs pull tight and then loose against the sides of his head. Anything to satisfy the craving that only she seems to inspire in him.

Resolute, persistent – a probing, prodding thing that nips at his heels and thrusts him forward at a double time pace.

A hunger that follows him down the nights and down the days.

A hunger that can only ever be sated like the taking of a sacrament – on his knees, devotion in his eyes.

Jesus.

Are you wet?

You know I am.

Are you touching yourself?

Joel’s jaw tightens. He holds his breath and waits. Can’t quite tell what would be worse; knowing that she’s touching herself, alone, thinking about him, or that she isn’t, that she’s waiting for him. He can feel his cock leaking against his thigh.

No.

He exhales heavily, and the faintest hint of a groan slips out with it. Fuck, pull yourself together.

Joel’s fingers float over the keyboard, and for a moment he thinks of Rachel.

Thinks that if he could only bring himself to look up, to look away from her, he might be able to see Rachel still. The back of her coat, the dark scrawl of her hair, disappearing into the night. Joel thinks of the tears in her eyes, taunting him, threatening to spill spill spill, to streak down rosy cheeks and wet the hollow of her throat. Feels something throb and crack in his chest – a painful, resounding ache that hurts so much like fear, like loss.

Your fault, your fault, your fault.

And wouldn’t that be so much easier? If he were to look away, to chase his friend down the street and tell her that he was wrong, that he wants her, that it makes sense for them to be together. Wouldn’t it be easier if that were true?

But he doesn’t stop looking at her. He thinks of Pothos, of Himeros, and stares at the soft curve of her stomach, the indent of her belly button. Looks at the way her lower lip rests below her finger and pictures it swollen, slick with a medley of her spit and his. Even notices a small mark, nestled in the crevice between her hip and the top of her thigh. A fading remnant of where his teeth had once pinched – like a tangible little footprint, whispering that he was there.

Longing and desire flame between the cracks of his ribs; a bright white heat that curls itself around your fault until he manages to shake the thought.

What was it that Kaminsky said? There was no mythology: Odysseus hanged himself. Homer drank to death and stank of mud.

And perhaps he was right; for there is no witness to this. No being over his shoulder, God or mortal, to lay their eyes upon this moment and understand that all he has ever known of love is deprivation. That fondest, blindest, weakest part of his being that has always yearned for, or perhaps grieved over, this love that once seemed so intangible and now, at last, maybe he has been deemed worthy of.

Alone so long, living in a body grown accustomed to such quiet. Familiar with no touch other than that of his own rough palms. And now… the intensity of it shakes within him. The urge to sink his teeth in like a bad dog and hold, hold, hold, to consume and be consumed, and never yield to anyone who wants to take this away from him.

No, there is no looking away from that, from her. Joel feels the noose tighten around his neck the longer he stares – a dog on the leash of its own longing, that need only sharpening with every second that dares to pass.

And Joel knows that nothing has ever been easy. Considers the idea that maybe that’s how it was supposed to be for him. And perhaps he doesn’t want easy, doesn’t want simple. No – Joel was always drawn to the flame.

Good.

Dinner finished early. Where are you?

And that flame welcomes him now in kind. The arms of a lover spread open for embrace; the address of her hotel sent directly to his phone.

Joel looks up and makes eye contact with the taxi driver again. Light still on.

Where to?

**the Kaminsky mentioned in this is Ilya Kaminsky, and the quote is from Dancing in Odessa.

thank you for reading! x

#my writing #fic: a lover's pinch #professor!joel #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction

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spidernuggets · 5 months

Text

Jason Todd x Reader

"And who are you to judge him? It's not like you've tried to get to know him. You guys just don't know him like I do,"

"I don't get it" Rachel says to herself, staring at the couple. You're sitting on the island while Jason's head is buried in the fridge looking for another brew.

"Get what?" Gar chimes in, following where Rachel's gaze was at. "Jason and Y/N? What about them?", he quietly asks, not wanting the lovebirds to overhear their conversation.

"Yeah, I think I'm improving, but I still can't get the landing right," you say to Jason as he pops the cap off of the beer he finally finds. He replies with a simple hum of acknowledgement while taking a swig.

"He's so..." Rachel starts, trying to look for the right words to describe him. "Rude? Self-absorbed? He's not even listening to what Y/n's saying," she whispers back to Gar, finally turning away from the two.

Gar tilts his head to the side. "I don't know... They've been together for a good few months now, right? We don't see them together that often, we don't know how they're like," he tries to reason.

Rachel scoff, sitting on the couch. "That's another reason why he's a bad boyfriend. We never see them around. Does he not like showing off that they're together? Jason being a cocky-ass person, he's the kind of person to flaunt around his partner."

Rachel turns back to where you and Jason were standing just to see the two of you were gone as she scoffs once more.

Gar opens his mouth to speak once more as Kori and Dawn enters the room.

"What are we talking about?" Kori asks.

"Jason being an asshole of a boyfriend," Rachel almost laughs.

"How so?" Dawn questions.

"How could you not see?" Kori says. "Jason's always brushing Y/n off, blunt, short replies, puts missions before them, he's hardly ever acknowledging their presence," She laughs, listing all of Jason's flaws as a partner.

"I guess I've never really notice..." Dawn says, unsure.

~Meanwhile~

"Jesus, you drive me crazy," Jason says, his voice low, grinning at you like a school girl with her crush.

You're on his lap, hands cradling his face, his hands on your ass with a firm grip. You're placing soft kisses all over his face, a quick break from the hungry make-out session you both were so busy with.

Your soft kisses trail away from his face, down his jaw and onto his neck, kisses and nibbling all over. Biting a certain spot, Jason lets out a quiet gasp along with a held back whimper.

You let out a light chuckle while continuing to pepper kisses on his neck.

"I liked that," You softly say, kissing against the same spot. "Do it again," you teased.

Jason groaned. "You're trying to kill me, babe," he complains as he captured your lips against his once more.

You sighed in content, breaking the kiss and leaving another lingering kiss on his forhead.

"Don't let them get to your head, love," You tell him quietly. The both of you are well aware that the other Titans (maybe except Gar) don't see why you would date Jason. You're kind and considerate while Jason is... Jason. Jason has told you many times that he wants to be taken seriously by the other members, hence his cold demeanour. And along with those explanations, came affectionate apologies of him spending all his free time alone with you in either his or your room, cuddling, kissing, properly listening to your rants and more.

"They're right though," his reply is delivered rough and raspy, a change of voice that indicates to you that he's upset.

You sigh, arms wrapping around his neck, burying your face in his meck, breathing in his distinct scent of faint alcohol and strong cologne.

"No they're not," you say, just above a whisper. "I get it, Jay. You want to prove yourself. But you don't have to prove yourself to me. Okay? You're more than enough for me," One of your hands move down, grabbing hold of his own hand, bringing it up to your lips for another gentle kiss as your other hands cup his cheek.

Jason sighs, leaning into, your touch. "I love you, okay, Jay?" He nods in reply.

"I..." He tries to say it too, but fails as his gaze shifts to the ceiling in guilt.

"Hey, hey. I told you. Only say it when you're ready, you don't have to force yourself to say it, Jay," I assure him. "Now," You move yourself off of him, bringing him down to lie with you as you rest your head on his chest. "You're supposed to tell me about this book you were reading," You remind him. He smiles once more, his arms wrapping around you happily as he starts ranting about his new book.

"You guys got it?" Dick confirms with the rest of the group, finishing up a debrief with the other Titans. Everyone nod and murmur 'yes's and 'yep's.

"Alright, everyone get to training," He says as he departs.

You turn to Jason excitingly. "You wanna train together, Jay? You can help me with the new move I was telling you about!"

"Not today. I'm gonna train with Gar," Jason replies.

"Ah, okay! Have fun, teach me some new stuff you learn, later, kay?" You reach up to his cheek, giving him a quick peck and a short "Love ya!"

He responds with a grunt and a nod and leaves you with a quick caress on ur cheek as he goes to one of the training rooms with Gar. Oh how much he wants to just pick you up and kiss you and hug you and hold you for all eternity.

Hank scoffs at Jason's reaction as he walks off. Donna shakes her head in disapproval as she followed along too. The other women in the room have their eyebrows furrowed, judging looks towards your boyfriend and crossed arms as they looked at you with a lovesick grin and heart eyes, watching your love walk away til he disappeared.

You quickly turn around, smiling at the rest of the members. "Any of you guys wanna train with me- what? What's with the looks?" You ask, confused.

"What's with your boyfriend?" Rachel hisses.

Your face scrunches in slight offence. "What about him?"

"Honey, he's..." Dawn starts to say though her words trail off.

"You can do better," Kori states, her hands landing on her hips.

You lightly scoff "Why's that," You say lowly, eyes narrowing, ready to defend Jason.

"Y/n..." Dawn speaks up. "We're just looking out for you. We just think you and Jason... Aren't the best match."

"We think Jason is selfish, rude and annoying, is what she was meant to say," Rachel said quietly, but loud enough for all of you to hear.

You roll your eyes. "And who are you to judge him? It's not like you've tried to get to know him. You guys just don't know him like I do," you barked, almost wanting to cry for Jason.

"Y/n, we just-" you cut Kori off by putting a hand uo, refraining her from continuing.

"No. No, no. You can talk to me when you find some respect for Jason." You coldly say as you walked away to train.

The girls looked at each other with disappointed and worried looks.

The team was on a mission that involved Deathstroke. It was wild and messy to the point where everyone was split up, and only some of the Titans returned back to the tower.

Jason is pacing around, alone in his room. He's covered in blood and bruises, but those don't matter to him right now. The only thing in his mind was

Where the fuck were you?

It's been two hours since he came back with Dick, Gar, Rachel and Donna but there were no signs of you coming back. Or of the others coming back he guesses. You're comms weren't working and you weren't answering his messages.

To piss him off more, Dick forbade him from going back out, knowing that Jason's impulsiveness would bring further damage.

"He's not even worried," Rachel says, sitting in the couch cleaning the blood of herself, noticing Jason's absence of worry.

"He could be?" Gar shouts from the kitchen, trying to reason again.

"Why are you even trying to defend him, we know how he is."

"He's our teammate, Rachel. We can't go off judging him if we don't know him that well," He says softly, trying not to get a rise out of the purple haired girl.

She scoffs and reply with whatever.

Dick and Donna walk into the room. "We got a message from Kori," Dick says. "The comms were breaking up but they're all safe."

Rachel and Gar sigh in relief.

Around half an hour later, you, Dawn, Hank and Kori finally return.

You're cracking your back and stretching your arms. Parts of your hero outfit is ripped and some of your blood that escaped your skin was dried and dirty and bruises littered your face, but you were always in a bright mood.

"She's finally back and bird brain isn't even running out," Rachel whispers to Gar as his shoulders sink.

"Oh my god, I'm gonna need a lie down for the rest of my life," You groan, cracking your neck.

Even from his room, Jason heard your voice as he rushed out and saw you there all battered up.

He heavily sighed in relief, running up to you, lifting you up. You lightly shriek at his sudden appearance, wrapping your legs around his waist, hands on his shoulders.

"You're okay... you scared me..thought you weren't coming back," he admits quietly, but as the other Titans stare silently in shock, especially Rachel, they heard him loud and clear.

Jason lets you down slowly and litters your face with kisses before pulling you in closer, attaching his lips to yours, finally not caring about the presence of the other members.

"Hello to you too," you giggle, leaving a kiss on his nose.

"You're hurt," he says, looking at your scrapped body.

"I'm okay, Jay," You reassure him. But he shakes his head, carries you bridal style.

"I need to patch you up," He says, giving you another kiss on the cheek before heading to his room.

"Okay, that just happened," Kori said in amusement.

"They're cuties, aren't they, Hank?" Dawn asks, looking up at the lover of her own.

Hank rolls his eyes and answers with an "I guess so" before they leave the room.

"So?..." Gar grins in success and amusement as he looks at Rachels shocked reaction.

She sighs and leans back against the couch.

"Yeah, yeah you're right, I was wrong. They are good for each other," She admits.

"In front of them too?" You question, sitting on Jason's bed as he wipes away any dried blood before patching you up.

"I don't care," He says, keaving you surprised. Jason patches up your last wound, giving it a kiss before getting up and cradling your face. "Your safety is more important to me"

You lean into his touch, your hand coming up to hold his. He leans into you for a deep, passionate and long lasting kiss.

Breaking it, he leans his forhead against yours.

"I love you," He quietly but confidently say.

Your eyes brighten and you couldnt helo but break into a wide smile, feeling giddy like a kid receiving a oresent from Santa.

"I love you too"

876 notes · View notes

xtra7s · 3 months

Note

Well, since we know her iconic SNL performance (which was on loop) how would r react. Cause like I'm in love with herrrr. It could be like a live reaction or they are live and fans requested for a reaction vid

(Just a gay thought)

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋: 𝐒𝐍𝐋 ─── 𝘙𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘱𝘱 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Synopsis: Y/N watches Renee preform on SNL.

Content: Renee Rapp x Fem!Reader, literally just Y/N swooning over Renee as she preforms, complete fluff

Word Count: 1.1k

masterlist | first part | second part | third part

a/n: I LOVED WRITING THIS, I added Snow Angel too because I felt like it was too short with just Not My Fault. Hope you enjoy!!

The stage lights bathed Renee Rapp in a warm glow as she took center stage on Saturday Night Live. The hushed anticipation in the studio was palpable, but amidst the cheering crowd, Y/N sat, fidgeting with nervous excitement. It was a secret thrill, knowing that the woman who held her heart was about to captivate the world.

Jacob Elordi was on stage, smiling widely as he introduced Renee. "Ladies and gentlemen, Renee Rapp!"

The stage was set in a soft, ethereal light as Renee Rapp prepared to perform "Snow Angel" on Saturday Night Live. The melancholic notes of the piano filled the studio, creating an atmosphere of haunting beauty. The audience hushed in anticipation as Renee lay on the stage floor, an ethereal figure amidst the gentle glow.

Y/N, seated amidst the crowd, watched with bated breath. As the first lines of the sorrowful ballad left Renee's lips, a wave of emotion washed over the audience. Renee's voice, rich with emotion, painted a poignant picture of heartache and longing. The harmonies join her as she sings, and Y/N finds herself captivated, unable to tear her gaze away from the captivating performance unfolding before her.

Renee's form on the ground seemed to embody the weight of the song's melancholy. The vulnerability in her voice resonated, and Y/N felt a deep connection to the emotions conveyed. The crowd sat in rapt silence, collectively holding their breath, as Renee lay there, pouring her heart into each delicate lyric.

More instruments joined the song, Renee standing up from the floor as the song swelled. The melancholy tones transitioned into a powerful crescendo, and the studio transformed into a sea of emotions. Y/N, now on the edge of her seat, felt a lump forming in her throat. The raw intensity of the performance left her in awe, a silent witness to the soul-baring artistry on display.

As Renee's voice soared through the studio, Y/N couldn't help but feel a deep admiration for the vulnerability and strength intertwined in the performance. It was a heartbreaking and beautiful symphony, and Y/N found herself lost in the haunting melody, her emotions mirroring the raw intensity and flow of the song.

When the final note hung in the air, the studio erupted into applause. Y/N joined in, her admiration for Renee's talent mingling with a profound sense of connection. As Renee smiled and the lights dimmed, she spun around and applauded the people playing the instruments to her song. Y/N couldn't shake the lingering impact of the song, grateful to have been present for a performance that transcended the stage and touched the depths of her soul.

After a short break, Jacob Elordi hosting and speaking, Rachel McAdams Walks on stage, smiling at the applause before gesturing her hands up.

"Ladies and gentlemen, once again, Renee Rapp!" She speaks loudly, gesturing her arms to the stage Renee is standing on top of.

The first notes of "Not My Fault" begin to float through the air, and Y/N's gaze is fixed on Renee. The way she was dancing, the raw power in her voice, the way she effortlessly commanded the stage, left Y/N breathless. Each lyric that came from her mouth had Y/N squirming in her seat. The crowd responded with thunderous applause, but for Y/N, it was a personal serenade, an intimate connection she could only share in secret.

"god damn, she looks so good I could die," Y/N murmurs under her breath, sitting up and adjusting in her seat.

As the song continued, Renee's stage presence intensified, her magnetic energy filling the room. Y/N couldn't help but feel a swell of emotion, pride, and an ache in her chest from the sheer brilliance of the performance. It was a potent mix of love and admiration, leaving her utterly flustered in the midst of the electrifying moment.

The entire time Renee has been singing, Y/N's eyes have been drifting down her neck to her stomach, her cheeks covered in a maroon shade as she takes in Renee's outfit.

she has too much trust in that top.

Renee does a little dance as she sings with the backup dancers, getting to Y/N's favorite part. "Get her number, get her name, get a good thing while you can. Kiss a blonde, kiss a friend, can a gay girl get an amen?"

Y/N was immediately standing as she watched this, yelling out amen after Renee sang that part. Renee notices her in the crowd beyond the blinding lights and sends a wink her way.

The cake begins to spin around as Renee is singing, revealing Megan Thee Stallion as she raps her part of the song. Renee does a little dance in front of Megan as she sings, them both going into sync as they do their choreography. Renee sticks her tongue out while she smiles, making the cheers louder around Y/N.

Renee dances with her hands in the air and does a body roll as Megan sings, pulling her mic back to her face and singing again. It's short-lived as the song is getting to an end, Megan speaking into her mic. "What's up SNL??!" The cheers get louder as she does, Renee joining in. "Give it up for Megan Thee Stallion!!" She yells into the mic, jokingly twerking for a second before jumping back into the end of the song, "It's not my fault you're like in love with me." She sings as she gets closer to Megan, turning her head to smile at her. "You're like in love with me."

When the final notes hung in the air, the applause was deafening. Y/N joined in, clapping enthusiastically, but her eyes never left Renee. The stage seemed to shimmer around her secret girlfriend, a beacon of talent and passion that left Y/N in awe.

As Renee laughed with Megan and then hugged her, waving to the stage before rushing off stage the applause echoed, and Y/N couldn't suppress the giddy smile that spread across her face. She had witnessed something extraordinary, something incredibly sexy and beautiful, and it filled her with a warmth that lingered long after the lights dimmed. In the secrecy of the crowd, Y/N reveled in the magic of being in love with a woman who could command a stage with such brilliance, all while keeping their connection hidden like a precious secret between the notes of a song.

#renee rapp x reader #renee rapp #lesbian #wlw #the sex lives of college girls #leighton murray #leighton murray x reader #mean girls #snl #saturday night live #something special

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diorsluv · 6 days

Text

casual , part 8

“ so now when we kiss ”

series m. list previous chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, luca.fantilli, and 123,748 others

yourusername who’s gonna be the chandler to my monica (i need someone to marry me when i’m still single at 40) 🤗

view all comments

vivianliu don’t worry bae i’ll hook you up with the hottest 40 year old man when we get there

→ yourusername you’re too sweet 😞😞

→ lhughes_06 no you won’t

→ vivianliu yes i will 😒 lhughes_06

rutgermcgroarty i can’t be chandler but i can be the ullmark to your swayman

→ yourusername STOP YOU KNOW ME SO WELL

→ jswayman1 there’s only room for one pair 🙄

→ rutgermcgroarty …have you just been lurking??? jswayman1

→ yourusername oh my god sway it’s you i love you so much you’re like one of my favorite goalies ‼️

→ yourusername DID YOU JSUT FOLLOW ME IH MY FUCKUGB GODDDDD jswayman1

→ jswayman1 yes i did 🫡

→ jackhughes WHAT this isn’t fair???

username25 THE jeremy swayman just followed you babe how do you feel 🎤

→ yourusername AMAZING

username37 FRIENDS AHHH

trevorzegras i can be the chandler to your monica

→ yourusername yeah.. i’m good 😬

→ trevorzegras HEY THATS MEAN

→ yourusername i’m just kidding z (not really)

→ yourusername i’m sure there’s a ton of girls out there that want you!! it’s just not me 🫶🫶

→ _alexturcotte the public rejection is insane

→ trevorzegras 💔

→ yourusername i still love u tho!

→ trevorzegras ❤️‍🩹

edwards.73 me

→ yourusername we’ll see

→ edwards.73 whats that supposed to mean 🤨

→ yourusername one night in my bed isnt gonna make me forget about everything

→ edwards.73 IM SORRY FOR IGNORING U

→ yourusername prove it

luca.fantilli i’ll be the rachel to your ross!

→ yourusername you wanna be the woman in an on-and-off relationship??? 😭😭

→ luca.fantilli yeah i wanna see what it’s like to be you for once 🤗

→ yourusername hold up

→ lhughes_06 LMAO

→ dylanduke25 THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR

→ luca.fantilli oops

→ yourusername 😟😟

username34 the way he looks at her 🥲

username88 I LOVE THEM

markestapa hypothetically what would you do if someone asked you out and asked you to be the monica to their chandler

→ yourusername i would marry them on the spot

→ markestapa moving a little fast there aren’t we?

→ dylanduke25 AHEM edwards.73 AHEM

lhughes_06 ustjay osay ouyay owknay ehay eallyray oesday ikelay ouyay (just so you know he really likes you)

→ yourusername we haven’t used pig latin since like middle school 😭😭

→ _quinnhughes your nerd phases

→ lhughes_06 utshay upyay (shut up)

→ jackhughes IGPAY ATINLAY (PIG LATIN)

→ luca.fantilli oh my god i remember speaking pig latin

→ adamfantilli igpay atinlay asway oatedgay (pig latin was goated)

→ vivianliu is this just a sibling thing 😭

→ dylanduke25 no tyler never learned it for me 😐😐

→ tyler___duke5 no i just never used it with you dylanduke25

→ trevorzegras ancay onfirmcay ityay asway ayay iblingsay ingthay (can confirm it was a sibling thing)

→ griffinzegras please don’t bring it back i was struggling enough back then

→ edwards.73 iyay opehay ouyay owknay iyay understandyay igpay atinlay ootay (i hope you know i understand pig latin too)

username84 who’s gonna translate all that pig latin 🥰🥰

username97 oh my god this is gonna send me back into my friends phase

→ username6 RIGHT

_alexturcotte remember the friends marathons we would have every summer

→ yourusername barely 🙄

→ _alexturcotte WHY ARE U ROLLING UR EYES

→ yourusername YOU WOULD ALWAYS “FORGET” TO TELL ME YOU WERE WATCHING IT

→ trevorzegras he was watching it with me that’s why 😉

→ yourusername ieday trevorzegras (die)

→ trevorzegras you’re no fun rosie

adamfantilli i love gale weathers

→ yourusername completely different franchise but yes she’s toooooo iconic 😈😈

→ vivianliu sidney’s hotter

→ adamfantilli that’s a hot fucking take vivianliu

→ luca.fantilli sidney prescott or sidney crosby??

→ vivianliu both

→ markestapa you’re all forgetting about billy

→ yourusername BILLY

→ lhughes_06 billy 😒

username18 i just finished friends!!

username75 I WILL

mackie.samo I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE

→ yourusername i love maddy more

→ mackie.samo YOU MET HER ONCE

→ yourusername i stand by my statement

username71 istg this is directed at ethan

username8 STOP I MISS THEM

username31 i need someone to look at me like that

colecaufield ‘90s shows were my childhood 🙏🙏

→ yourusername ur literally an ‘01 baby???

→ colecaufield BARELY

username66 THEM >>>>

yourusername

liked by edwards.73, trevorzegras, and 111,629 others

yourusername i was fuckin superstars when i was nineteen 🥴

view all comments

jackhughes woah there

→ yourusername it’s just a song ! 😰

→ jackhughes i’m sure that’s all it is 🤨🤨

_quinnhughes YOU’RE STILL A CHILD

→ yourusername IM ALMOST 20??

→ _quinnhughes UR STILL 19

→ yourusername then my caption’s pretty fitting

→ _quinnhughes 😐

username27 IS IT BECAUSE OF WHAT I THINK IT IS

→ yourusername do tell

→ username27 ur 19, u and ethan, ethan’s like an underground superstar

→ yourusername 🙊

edwards.73 the shit we did you won’t believe me

→ dylanduke25 NOW IM AT THE TURN UP

→ mackie.samo LOOKING LONELYYY

→ trevorzegras AND THEY WONDER WHY IM QUIET AT THEM HOUSE PARTIESSSS

→ jackhughes CUZ EVERYBODY SEE ME

→ colecaufield ROLL SOME BLUNTS

→ adamfantilli AND HIT HER ONCE

→ rutgermcgroarty AND NOW SHE NEED ME

→ yourusername brent faiyaz 🙇‍♀️

→ edwards.73 did u put everyone on this song 😕 yourusername

→ yourusername yeah..

→ edwards.73 thought it was just me

→ dylanduke25 dont act all jealous 🙄🙄

username55 you’re. so. pretty.

dylanduke25 creds creds creds creds creds

→ yourusername creds!

→ edwards.73 why’d you take the pics

→ dylanduke25 bc we were hanging out?? 😭

→ edwards.73 oh

username89 omg babe where’s your top from

→ yourusername im gonna be honest i have no idea vivi got it for me as a gift 😔🙏

→ vivianliu i custom made it 🤭

mackie.samo this is so #cottagecore and #aesthetic

→ yourusername who the hell is teaching you this

→ mackie.samo my sisters 😕😕

→ lhughes_06 stop using hashtags good fucking lord

→ markestapa that intervention wasn’t for nothing mack 😒

trevorzegras brent faiyaz our lord and savior

→ yourusername 🛐

rutgermcgroarty HEY why didn’t you post our photos 😞

→ yourusername tis for another time my dear boy

→ rutgermcgroarty shakespeare lookin ass

→ yourusername 🖕

→ adamfantilli guys remember when we were nice to each other

→ yourusername no

→ rutgermcgroarty no

username99 CLOUDED

luca.fantilli is he gonna ask you out or what

→ yourusername luca 😭😭

→ luca.fantilli what?? i’m jus being curious 😔

username35 HELLO????? the fit ate down

vivianliu fuck her on the floor like i don’t give a fuck bout it 🎶🎶🎶🎶

→ yourusername your judgement get clouded when you clouted

→ vivianliu your judgement is clouded as hell

→ yourusername HOW???

→ vivianliu you know 😐😐

→ edwards.73 stop hating lil bro

→ vivianliu i hope you drown

username76 that second pic got me kicking my feet n shit

username21 skincare routine when???

username3 how are you not a model

adamfantilli let me tie your shoes bc i don’t want you falling for anyone else

→ yourusername no

→ adamfantilli did your license get suspended for driving all those guys crazy?

→ yourusername adam babe we talked about this

→ adamfantilli do you play soccer? bc you look like a keeper

_alexturcotte i got you new sneakers 🥰

→ yourusername REALLY??

→ _alexturcotte i figured you’d need them after running through my mind all day

→ yourusername oh god please don’t make this into a habit

→ colecaufield stop harassing her with pickup lines turcs

username69 we all know ethan’s going feral over this one

→ username14 fr i can sense it from here

username5 the hughes genes are godly asf

next chapter notes ) this is my way of coping through the pain of being a stars fan anyways should ethan n rosie finally get together 🫢

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

#ethan edwards #ethan edwards x y/n #ethan edwards x reader #ethan edwards fanfic #ethan edwards fic #quinn hughes #jack hughes #cole caufield #alex turcotte #trevor zegras #luke hughes #dylan duke #mark estapa #mackie samoskevich #rutger mcgroarty #adam fantilli #luca fantilli

193 notes · View notes