Petting Party (pt 1)
Rundown of dimensions AU: Quackity’s from 1920s dimension called Prowa, Schlatt and Charlie are his business partners *cough found family cough* and they run a casino/speakeasy. Sapnap is a knight from a fantasy dimension called Quarry. Karl is like Dr.Who.
tw - Mentions of guns and alcohol (1920s mobster dimension)
This is really just the fluffiest full I have ever written.
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@thecatchat
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Quackity walked through his rooms, digging around drawers for his keys. He squawked a little in frustration as he rummaged. He felt so paranoid, like he was already short on time even though he was about half an hour early and it’s not like Sapnap or Karl would mind waiting. He just wanted this to go perfectly. They’d had dates in his world before, they’d even had proper ones where they weren’t running from cops or mobsters or some other guns/knife/bat-wielding foes. Heh, foes. He was starting to think like Sapnap… and he was starting to feel like Karl— where was his damn key? Karl had literal worlds full of stuff to keep track of, it only made sense he got turned around and mixed up, what was Quackity’s excuse?
Finally, a glint caught his eye and he snatched up the silver piece of metal, stuffing it into his sleeve and practically skipping to the front. Their home was really just the back half of the casino so he just walked through into the back room. Schlatt and Charlie were sitting at a table, various game pieces scattered across the top, counting cards, chips, and cash. Charlie seemed to be in the middle of a failed game of solitaire and was stacking up a house of cards while Schlatt was just old-fashioned sorting, looking rather bored. It was a quiet night for them. Probably a few drinks and catching up till bed after they double-check the games for cheating. Quackity would usually join them but it wasn’t strange for him not to show. He gave them a wave as he walked past, motion enough for them to look up and acknowledge him.
Schlatt only glanced up before returning to his work. “What’s with the getup?”
“I told youse, I’m going out tonight.”
“Doesn’t answer my question.”
“I’m going out to meet my partners.” Quackity struck a joking pose. “No harm in good impressions.”
“Hey,” Charlie frowned childishly, “aren’t we your partners?”
Quackity chuckled, rolling his eyes, “Of course. My new partners, then. Actually, lemme see a cut of that doe, I wanna butter ‘em up tonight.” He snatched a few bills from the table and turned to make his exit.
“Wait,” Schlatt commanded, still barely looking up from his work. “Partners like you’re out for coffee to discuss getting new tables?” He took a sharp bite of his apple, eyes lazily growing dark. “Or do youse mean partners like I outta trail behind... y’know, keep you from gettin’ lead poisoning.”
“Uh...” Quackity blinked. “Partners like I’m off to a petting party.”
Schlatt choked. Charlie laughed while he coughed, moving to pat his back and smiled at Quackity. “Well, good luck.”
Quackity narrowed his eyes as he was almost certain he caught a ‘all knows you need it’ under Charlie’s breath. He played it cool and simply snapped, “Hey, I don’t need no luck. Certainly not from you.”
“Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to offend.” Charlie held his hands up, grin still plastering his face. “Was just wishing you the best.”
“Yeah... yeah,” Schlatt nodded, coming out of his state but still red-faced. Whether it was from embarrassment or lack of air Quackity couldn’t tell. He rolled his eyes again, smiling but waving goodbye without giving them a chance to drag him onto another conversation.
He stepped into the front, waiting patiently by the front of the door. Karl had said they’d meet him at the Vidrio, but should he wait inside or out? He paced, routinely adjusting his feathered headband and combing the actual feathers on his wings. He still worried he was overdressing a little but when he tried to lessen his look he panicked about underdressing. He wanted to look good for his boyfriends, a bit of makeup wouldn’t hurt that... would it? In the end, he’d settled on a simple pale blue dress, eyeliner, and a small headband. Nothing too gaudy but he still looked good. He looked good in everything, of course, he had absolutely nothing to worry about. So why was he all jittery? What, was he suddenly a dud? It didn’t matter. It was probably just because of the surprise factor.
He’d assumed they would come and get outfits at his place (no offense to them, they just really couldn’t go the way they usually dressed) but Karl had insisted they pick him up like a “proper date.” He didn’t know what Karl knew about proper dates or when he’d started to care about them, most of their dates involved some form of running for their lives. Quackity wasn’t complaining but he’d be lying if he said the idea of just being a snuggle pup for a change wasn’t wildly appealing, especially if it meant getting to have Sapnap and Karl got to hang out in his world and not just flee and sneak. There were some nice things here he felt he never got to show them.
He sunk into himself, suddenly feeling ashamed. It was bad manners, it was. Combining his work and love life to the point he may as well have made chumps out of his own boyfriends. He knew they didn’t mind, it was all new and fun for them and he was pretty sure Sapnap did the same thing. (He wasn’t entirely sure what his job was, like a knight sure but where was the line between work and just regular old Quarrian life?) Still. He should take them dancing more or something. Technically, that’s what he was doing here but he’d like to make a better habit of it, it really sounded like the bees-
A bright, impossible, but familiar, swirl interrupted his thoughts. He straightened himself, quickly fixing his headband one last time. His heart was pounding out of his chest— but not because he was nervous, because he was excited. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling like a giddy sap as out from the portal stepped Karl and Sapnap. His breath was caught in his throat as he got a good look at them. He wasn’t sure what he expected, nothing bad, but he mentally made a note to give them an apology for being SO wrong. Whatever he’d imagined, they looked a million times better.
Sapnap was in a white dress shirt. He had on a maroon vest and black tie he clearly didn’t know how to wear but wore well nonetheless. He had his hair slicked back, completely showing his pretty silvery, misty, eyes. Quackity noted the headband he usually wore in his hair was tied in a ribbon around his neck. Sapnap just couldn’t be without it, he warmly mused.
Karl had on something with colors in patterns like Quackity had never seen before, not in his world at least, which— of course, it was Karl. Beautiful, strange, mysterious, adorable Karl. The top of the pantsuit was made of several pale shades of green. They washed over it like waves of seafoam, a strip of pale purple lace swirled around it, almost mimicking a deconstructed form of his usual crazy attire. A herringbone cap was pulled over his head, shaping brown curls.
Quackity stared, absolutely gobsmacked, until his brain caught up to his eyes. Sapnap was saying something and waving his hand a little. Quackity blinked, shaking himself out of it. Egad, he was goofy for them. Luckily, Karl and Sapnap didn’t seem to mind his zoning out. In fact, Karl seemed to find it tickling, he clearly held in a giggle as Quackity snapped to. Quackity guessed this wasn’t the first time he’d found himself stunned. It certainly wouldn’t be the last either.
“Hey, jackpot,” Sapnap gently flicked his forehead. “I asked how you think we look.”
“You... good. You look good. Mmhmm,” he managed to squeak out, finally remembering to close his mouth. Slick. He was slick.
“I’m glad you like it,” Karl chuckled. “I know you don’t really trust me to dress myself for nice places in Prowa.”
“Hey, I never said I didn’t trust you!”
“You never said it, no.”
Quackity gave Karl a small punch in the shoulder. He flinched way more than was warranted, stumbling dramatically, but a broad smile settled on both their faces.
“Aw, sugar! Did I hurt you?”
“Yes!”
“Hey, hey! Sir,” Sapnap stepped between them, also joking. “What is wrong with you, daring to assault my beloved in front of me?” He threateningly toward over Quackity, grabbing his shoulders and backing him up against the wall. His eyes flickered with playful malice. He leaned in close, expression caught between a smirk and a snarl, completely aware of the growing blush on Quackity’s face. “I’ve half a mind to challenge you, and another half to crush you right here for your audacity.”
“Aw, my knight in shining armor,” Karl sarcastically patted Sapnap’s shoulder, thoroughly less impressed by the display than Quackity. “Whatever would I do without you here to defend me from this sweet, cuddly, small, duckling?”
“Hey!” Quackity snapped defensively. “I could fuck you up if I-“
“Ey, Q! Have you seen-“ Schlatt stopped upon seeing the scene, turning on his heel and walking right back into the back. “Nevermind. Not my business. None of my business. Absolutely not my business…”
“I-“ Sapnap dropped his boyfriend (who crumpled onto the floor in laughter), instantly turning a shade twelve times redder than Quackity had been. “I am so sorry.”
“Ah- Schlatt?” Karl called over Quackity’s wheezing. “Schlatt, it’s fine-“
“NONE OF MY BUSINESS!” A shout came from the backroom.
Quackity dropped his face into his hands, his chortling turned to full hysterics as he sat curled up against the wall. His dress, which he had been so unreasonable nervous about moments before, creased and probably picked up some grime from the floor. He didn’t care at all. Now that his boyfriends were actually beside him he could care less if he was painted green and orange. He had no one to impress, at least no one who would let anything bad happen over a stupid look. “Oh,” he snickered, the burst dying down. “Oh wow.” He wiped his eyes as jubilant tears stung, apathetic as he’d become he hoped his makeup didn’t run. It wasn’t necessary but he’d still like to look nice for the occasion. He pulled himself to his feet, brushing off his outfit and sighing. “Ah. He’s got a point though, really should be saving that for the party.”
“Speaking of which—“ Karl snapped his fingers in a jazzy rhythm. “Are we ready to go?”
“Yes, let’s!” Sapnap turned with Karl as all three of them began to speed out the door.
Quackity made sure to bump in front of them before they made it out, he was not letting Karl anywhere near the wheel.
The car ride was bright and lively although quiet. Quackity couldn’t help but grin just being next to these goons, one could practically feel Karl vibrating with excitement in the back, even Sapnap seemed to be enjoying the drive (he’d never quite gotten over the time Karl had offered to drive... Quackity could barely blame him for remaining he cautious and paranoid around automobiles). The blanched twilight hummed overhead as they made their way through the streets. It was relatively empty this time of night, too late for errands but just before everything started to swing. They pulled into the end of the road and all stepped out.
“It’s a bit of a walk the rest of the way,” Quackity explained. “Especially cause ‘s considered… ‘impolite’ to pull attention.”
“Hmm…” Sapnap nodded, glancing behind them.
“What’s up?” Karl put a hand on his shoulder.
“Nothing.”
“You sure?”
“It’s fine, I just-“
“Just what?”
“Uh, maybewecouldgoseeSchlattandCharlie?”
“Huh?” Karl blinked.
“Is… Schlatt and Charlie coming? Could we go get them?”
“N-no?” Quackity stammered, surprised to say the least. “This— uh- ain’t exactly the kind of party you bring your family to. Not ‘less they got dates of their own... and you know Charlie ain’t keen on that stuff.”
“Okay, well, maybe we could spend some time with them for a while at the casino? Before we commit here. The night is young!”
“I means, I’m pumped for your sudden urge to hang out with them and all, but I kind of wanted to spend time with the two of you.”
“Ah-“ Sapnap shrunk into himself. “Of course, I- me as well, I’m so sorry to imply otherwise. I was just thinking Charlie may like to hear about the slimes...” He trailed off, fiddling with the headband around his neck, just the slightest hint of panic on his face. He was very good at hiding it but Quackity and Karl knew him better than that. They shared a glance, this had nothing to do with Charlie.
“Spice, are youse nervous?”
“N-no!”
“You sure? We don’t gots to do nothing you don’t wanna.”
“Yeah, it’s just-“
“Chivalry and all that?” Karl chimed in, sympathetic. “I know our courting isn’t exactly conventional.”
“No. Well, not exactly. Ah... think I’m merely... flustered?”
“Flustered?” They spoke at once.
He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just… romance in my world is so different. Much more complicated. It involves a lot of the other’s family and specific sets or roles for meetings, it changes depending on how long you’ve been together and what kingdoms you hail from, so such and so forth. I’ve never been a martinet for the rules but, the way you describe these kinds of parties, I- I- find myself… lost.”
Karl blinked. “So, you’re used to having a bunch of guidelines and, while you don’t miss them, are floundering without the stencil?” Sapnap nodded at the ground. He took a breath and shook his head, clearing his mind before bowing slightly. He held his left arm over his chest, middle knuckle up with his pinky and thumb slightly out, keeping the rest of his hand balled in a fist. Quackity recognized the symbol by now as something like a salute of the Nether kingdom. It was used to show respect while speaking. He stopped himself from rolling his eyes, remembering the formality was only habit.
“I apologize for my trepidation,” Sapnap held a bashful tone. “I am just not used to courti-“ he paused, searching for the word, “dates being so… open. I don’t mean that as an insult to your world! I only-.”
“Okay, buddy,” Quackity pushed Sapnap upright by his shoulders. He seemed confused but obliged. “I get it’s polite and nice for you but, if you really love me, please never do this again.”
“Do... what?”
“You have a habit of getting all formal when you’re worried you’re messing up with us.” Karl shrugged.
“I do?”
“I don’t know.” Quackity tapped his chin. “Let’s see.” Without warning, he grabbed Sapnap by the shoulders and takes him downward, planting a firm kiss right on his lips. He tensed a little as he felt a sudden wave of hotness wash over him (that was to be expected from surprising a demon) but stayed in the moment. As he pulled away, Sapnap blinked a few times, stunned although the faintest hint of a smile shone through. His gelled hair fell just a little messy.
“What the fuck, Quackity?”
“There we go! Back to normal! You see the difference?”
“I- I guess so!” He nodded, a look of mild surprise mixing his comprehension as if he’d just realized what color his own eyes were.
“Now, did youse like that?”
“Yes?”
“You want more?”
“Yes...”
“You wanna go inside?”
“Yeah.” Sapnap energetically nodded, slamming the car door shut, slicking back his hair again, and holding out his arms. “Yes, I do.”
Karl jumped between them, linking arms on his side before Quackity had the chance, and holding out his own instead. Quackity shot him a look but took it, joined by Sapnap in confusion at the sudden demand to be in the middle. Karl only smiled as they made their way down the street, nearly skipping at the attention until he lowly murmured, “So… do I get a kiss?” Quackity opened his mouth, smiling, but was cut off by Sapnap swiftly swooping in and planting one on Karl’s cheek.
“Oh- you-!” Quackity squawked, envy and agitation peaking his tone. “I was gonna-!”
“Well, I did.”
“Boys, boys, I do have two hands… and two cheeks,” Karl half-sang, leaning over to Quackity awaiting his kiss.
“Oh, no. Fuck you. You’re gonna have to wait for it now,” Quackity pouted. Sapnap let out a taunting laugh as Karl gasped in mock offense. Well, probably mock. Regardless, Quackity only smirked and turned to face a door in the wall next to them. “Besides, we’re here!” He unlinked his arm, rattling out a little pattern into the door. It opened slowly, revealing a dapperly dressed serpentine blocking the view inside. He smiled wildly as the warm smells and colors hit him regardless, it had been a while since he’d been to one of these, long before he ever met them and certainly not while they were dating, but he missed them.
He couldn’t wait to share this.
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Fictober 20: The Butcher
Prompt 20: “That’s what I’m known for.”
Fandom: Mass Effect
Title: The Butcher
Pairing: Yohan Shepard /Kaidan Alenko
Rating: T
Warnings/Tags:
This has been a shit of a mission." Commander Yohan Shepard glanced at Kaidan and sighed "I'm sorry."
"Why apologize to me?"
"Because, Jenkins' death, and whatever the hell happened here, they will pin it on me." Yohan kicked a rock in anger, a blue spark as his combat boot struck it.
"Jenkins' death wasn't your fault." Alenko offered.
They had traveled some distance on Eden Prime since they had landed, the geth had done more than their share of damage here as well as catching them off guard.
"As much mine as any." Yohan shook his head. "We will come back for his body, Alenko, but we need to focus and keep going."
Kaidan nodded his agreement, and they continued.
The landscape was bruised and battered, the people hadn't fared much better. Yohan clenched his fist, he hated civilians being caught in the middle of this crap.
"Commander, watch out, Drones!" Alenko called as they passed some more trees and rocky outcroppings.
"Damn mosquitoes." Yohan snarled as he fired at them. His biotics flared brilliant blue in a shield that enveloped him.
They made it a bit further when the sound of running boots on the ground perked both of them up. Finally finding life or some form of remnant military force was important. Looking around a corner Yoham saw a young female marine sprinting towards them away from several well-armed geth. It was a marine, the one from the vid, now running her life he was no psychologist but he wanted to keep her alive.
"Alenko, cover me to go punch a geth."
"Commander you don't…. " Kakdan stopped as Yohan charged the nearest geth shotgun leveled at its stomach. Shrugging Kaidan focused his biotics and pushed the other geth and took careful aim as they made quick work of them.
Yohan was scowling as he came back to them, he had been close enough to take a good look at the spikes the geth were using.
"Oh my god." The marine took up a defensive stance "You're the butcher of Torfan!"
"That's what I am known for. I'm Commander Yohan Shepard. You are?"
"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212.”
“Well Williams, Lieutenant Alenko here is a medic, and he’s going to check you for injuries.”
“I’m fine Sir,” Williams said quickly.”I don’t need medical help.”
“Just take a seat for a few minutes, it won’t take long. Here, drink this too, it will help you recover..”Kaidan looked at Yohan who shrugged and looked away a moment; giving the woman time to regain herself - it was a crap situation to be fair, and she had been running for quite a while. Yohan sighed.
“What happened here, Williams?”
“One minute we were running and the next… “ she gestured to the machines they had just fought “Sir I think they are geth.”
“Geth haven’t been seen outside the veil….:
“I know... For years, since the Quarrians left. So why are they here now?” Yohan added, garnering surprised looks from both soldiers, he could still shock people with the fact he had a brain.
"The beacon. They came for the beacon, um Sir." Ashley replied awkwardly.
"So where is that beacon now?" Yohan asked rocking impatiently on his heals I'd like to get this fucking mess over with."
"Um Commander…" Kaidan gestured with a frown, and Yohan sighed, he saw the readout. Williams needed more time wether she wanted it or not. He adjusted hisnshotgynand returned it to his back.
"Alright. First we eat. Then we get the hell out of here Ok?"
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