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ghostfaceaddams · 10 months

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Tara Argh Carpenter - a scream drabble

summary: Tara is having trouble juggling her scars and finding a Halloween costume. Sam, as always, is there for her.

warnings: cussing, scars, mentions of violence. I think that's all?

word count: 1,567

a/n: This lil idea just popped in my head the other day and I shared it with @psychofreakforc who loved it. So this is for her and any other lovers of the Carpenter sisters! Hope you all enjoy.

The doctors told Tara that regaining full sensations in her left hand was slim.

The doctors also told Tara that she’d always have a limp and metal stuck in her leg because the break was so severe.

But the doctors had also advised her not to play sports due to her asthma, and she had been the reigning star player on her soccer team for five years straight.

Surviving seven stabs and a broken leg was impressive enough. Surely these docs were just quacks. They didn’t know her. They didn’t know Tara. No one knew exactly who the Tara Carpenter was except for one single person.

And that person was her older sister: Samantha Carpenter.

Sure, Sam had abandoned her five years. But Sam had come back when Tara needed her most and she apologized for her absence. “I’m never going to leave your side again. I promise.” That’s what the older, taller Carpenter had said to the younger, smaller Carpenter.

Sam had her reasons and her apologies, and the sisters had shared trauma from their boyfriend and girlfriend trying to murder them and their friends. They both had Christina Carpenter as their mother.

With all of that being said, Tara knew - she knew that there was one person who always believed in her no matter what and that was Sam. Besides, Tara was constantly proving people wrong. She proved Christina wrong when she said she wouldn’t last a week after her birth, she proved all those taller kids wrong at soccer, and she proved Amber wrong.

Tara knew she wasn’t going to magically heal over night and that some parts would take longer than others. She’d waited five years for Sam to come back to her, she was a patient person.

But it’s October now, and Halloween is only a week away, and she can’t find a costume for the big party one of the frat houses were going to throw. Every outfit either looked weird on her or clashed too much with her scars. And she still needed that damn cane to walk on, which didn’t match any costume.

She guessed she could go as an old lady. Old ladies use canes to get around. But Tara’s cane was also special.

With a cane, you use the hand opposite of the injury. Which is fine and dandy if your ex didn’t snap your right leg in half then shove a knife through your left hand. So, her grip wasn’t the best suffice to say. Google Kerry Weaver from ER and you’ll know exactly the type of cane Tara had.

She growled as she tossed the cowgirl hat Anika had given her to the floor. Anika and Quinn had suggested a Cowgirl Barbie (Margot Robbie representation!) and Tara figured it was worth a shot. It almost worked. Almost.

“Hey, sweet girl.”

Tara glared at the visitor as she eased herself down to her bed.

Kirby tossed her hands up with her eyebrows in surrender. “Woah. What’s the fuck-the-world glare for?”

“Maybe this is just my resting face, Kirby.”

The blonde shaped her lips into an o. She just got called her first name, that meant Tara was in a mood. Kirby said nothing as she left.

Tara figured that was it - hoped it was, she didn’t have the energy to deal with any bullshit at the moment - but of course it wasn’t. Barely two seconds later and there Sam was, standing in the doorway with her head innocently cocked to the side.

“Hey, babygirl. What’s wrong?”

That was a hilarious remark. Tara almost told Sam she should be a stand up comedian.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that my body is fucked up and I can’t find a fucking decent Halloween costume to wear! What nineteen-year-old shows up to a party with a legit limp and cane?” She went with that instead.

Sam didn’t say anything. She just sat down next to her trembling baby sister and cupped the shell of Tara’s tense shoulder blade.

Tara’s entire body twitched as if she’d been stung. She moved away from her sister with a whiny, “Sammy” but it was no use. Sam saw the way Tara was trembling with rage and knew that soon enough it was going to fester into sobs.

Sam just rubbed Tara’s back soothingly, easing the younger girl into the crying stage. And when Tara ended the next phase, Sam was there to pull the small girl against her. As Tara curled into Sam’s side to hide away from the world, Sam wrapped her arms around Tara and solidified the wall between Tara and the darkness of the world.

It wasn’t until Tara’s sobs had receded to shaky breaths that Sam spoke. She made sure to give Tara her spare inhaler so that she could have a clear mind and not a clenched chest to listen to Sam.

“Tar, your scars-“

“Sam, I swear, if you say that my scars are beautiful and I should embrace them, I will throw myself down the stairs.” Tara threatened with a wobbly voice.

The both of them shared a terse, watery chuckle before silence settled over them. Sam took the moment to admire her baby sister’s side profile. Her eyes picked up on the barely noticeable scar on Tara’s chin. It was just a speck, barely noticeable, but Sam remembered it as the plate Christina had thrown and a shard had nicked Tara.

It wasn’t bad at all, but Tara had sobbed and sobbed after it happened. Sam cleaned the little girl up and took Tara to her bedroom to read a story to the younger girl until she was calm.

Sam was always taking care of Tara. Tara wanted to be able to take care of Sam too.

Tara took another puff from her inhaler, blowing Sam from the past to the present.

“Your scars don’t have to be a bad thing, Tara. They don’t need to be the focus of you.”

Tara screwed her face up in bewilderment. She didn’t want any sort of motivational speech about her scars to love them.

“Sam-“

“Come on, what was your favorite episode of Scooby-Doo as a kid?”

Okay, now Tara was lost. “I don’t know, that was forever ago.”

“It was the one with the pirate! Remember? What was his name? It had something to do with a beard…”

Tara shook her head. She couldn’t believe she was actually playing into this.

“The Ghost of Redbeard.”

Sam clapped excitedly and gave a slight nudge to Tara. “Pirate Redbeard! Yes!”

Tara nodded her head, a grin slicing across her lips despite not wanting to. “Yeah, but it was the movie I was obsessed with. Pirates Ahoy!”

Now it was Sam’s turn to be lost. “They did pirates more than once?”

Tara laughed at her older sister.

“Okay, even better then. There’s numerous representation of pirates in Scooby-Doo, and there’s a whole movie series based on pirates.”

Tara raised her eyebrows. “You mean Pirates of the Caribbean?”

“Yeah, that.”

Tara snorted at her sister.

“Pirates are very common. And what do you think of when you first hear the word pirate?”

Tara wrinkled her nose up as she shrugged. “I don’t know. Arrrrg matey! Give me yer money!”

Sam couldn’t contain the laughter from bubbling over at Tara’s (awful) interpretation of a pirate. At first, the younger girl could only blush and shake her head, pouting at her older sister. But then Tara started to grin, and she ended up laughing along with Sam.

It felt like Sam needed an inhaler this time, she couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed that hard. Or when was the last time Tara laughed that hard. She wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffed before continuing.

“No, but good guess.”

“A plank?” Tara guessed next.

Sam shook her head again. The other girl sighed, clearly exasperated.

“Come on, Sammy. I’m tired of guessing.”

“A wooden foot and a hook for a hand!”

Oh.

Tara stared at her sister, not really knowing what to say to that.

“It’s your leg you’re most worried about, right? And there’s no way to hide the scar on your hand. So, use it to your advantage! Be a pirate!”

It was true that boats, jewels slash money, and those replacements were the first thing to come to mind when associating pirates with things. And it was true that, in a way, Tara did have a wooden foot and a hooked hand.

The third truth was that Tara used to love pirates, only because she’d play it with her friends and Amber would get to save her at the end. She missed having Amber as her hero instead of her villain.

“Okay. A pirate it is then.” Tara confirmed.

The squeal that came out next wasn’t from Sam but from Quinn. The Carpenter sisters scoffed with a smile on their faces as the redhead went into a long spiel about helping Tara be the sexiest pirate anyone had ever seen. “Maybe someone has a pirate kink.” Had been said.

In the end, Tara was still limping and she couldn’t feel everything in her left hand. But she did go to the party and have a good time. That was proving the people who thought her injuries would ruin her life, wrong.

And Sam was there with a beaming smile on her face.

#sam carpenter x tara carpenter (platonic)#carpenter sisters #scream #sam carpenter #tara carpenter #kirby reed cameo #i love these sisters sm #jenna ortega #melissa barrera #quinn bailey and anika kiyoko mentions #gfaddamswritingcorner #ghostfaceaddams #er reference because it's the best tv show of all time #scooby-doo mention because he's the best and the goat #tara definitely watched scooby-doo growing up

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duskyashe · 2 years

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NaNoWriMo Day #1

[Masterlist]

Prompt from @stealingyourbones found here

"Valerie in Metropolis chews out Superboy for using her car as a projectile to hit a villain."

===============•‹«⟨·⟩»›•===============

Valerie wasn't aware that part of being a hero meant using the possessions of those you were protecting to fight the beings you were protecting them from. In fact, she's pretty sure it wasn't. Sure, she's not always been on the right side of the fight, herself, but she's gotten better! And besides, unlike someone she could name, she's never used a stranger's car as a weapon before!

"OI! You jerk! Did you have to throw my car?! Don't you have freaking laser vision, you idiot!?" Val yelled at Superboy Sr, who was levitating just above the intersection a few feet away from her.

Superboy glared incredulously at her over his shoulder, which, first of all, rude, she should be glaring at him, not the other way around. Second of all, she has every right to be upset about this, how he can be incredulously doing anything in response to that fact is, quite frankly, stupid.

"You call that a car? Honey, fuzzy dice are so 50s, and what was with the white wall tires? I was doing that dated hunk of junk a favor." Oh. Oh he did not. He. Did. Not.

"That 'dated hunk of junk', as you called it, was my grandfather's. It was a feta HEIRLOOM, you—you cheese curd! You leftover piece of string cheese! If you think you're gonna get out of this scott free, then buddy, you've got another thing coming! It may have been on its last legs, but that thing was, quite literally, my only reliable mode of transportation in this gouda forsaken place. 'Moby Dick'! Do you just casually destroy private property every time you fight some ne'er-do-well? How the 'Flygirl' you manage to get away with frequent property damage I'll never know, but—" who knew cussing out a superhero in the middle of battle was so hard to do? She had to up her cardio next time to went to the gym, this was unacceptable.

Superboy glanced at her again and rolled his eyes, dodging out of the way of a different thrown car before replying. "Look, as much as I'd love to hear you go on, I'm kind of busy at the moment, can we talk about this later? If you're really that torn up over the antique rust bucket, I'll make it up to you. Alright?"

Val narrowed her eyes at him as she ducked under a chunk of flying rubble. "You better. In fact, to make sure you don't get to get out of this, I'm going to stay right on your tail the rest of this fight. You try to lose me, I take you to court. Now will you stop dancing around this quack?! Just finish him already!"

===•‹«⟨·⟩»›•===

Incoming message

From: The Konman

Hey, question. Could you, theoretically, lend me some money for a car?

From: Third Tim's the Charm

... is this about that chick whose car you threw instead of using your heat vision earlier?

From: The Konman

Oh no, I am not losing that bet, I can totally go a full week without melting things with my eyes.

From: Third Tim's the Charm

... I'll see what I can do.

From: The Konman

You're the best ^⁠_⁠^

===============•‹«⟨·⟩»›•===============

Credit: "The Konman" is from the amazing chat fic "Crime, Love, and Ghosts. (And other, Probably)" by Thornrose270 on AO3, I highly recommend reading it ^⁠_⁠^

There's no specific make or model mentioned because, while I am an appreciator of cars, I do not want to make any more waves in the car enthusiast community than I might have already, what with my comments on fuzzy dice and white wall tires (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

Also, on Val's use of cheese and literature as stand-in cuss words. Kids emulate the language used around them as they grow up ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠⊙⁠_⁠ʖ⁠⊙⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ also, I really wanted to use some cheese related cuss words (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)

I may or may not come back later and edit this, there was no beta reader and I barely know how to write Val or Kon, so there's probably lots of mistakes (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;⁠) but hopefully it's not too bad? *fingers crossed*

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trrickytickle · 7 months

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The Best Medicine

A/N: this One Piece tickle fic was actually inspired by the awesome likes of @looking-for-laughs, who writes a LOT of great ff (underated) and her lee!chopper love HEHEHEH. u can see my applause and salute for her in my posts (she even inspired me to stop shitposting HEH. but liek idk i jsut had that dawg in me to write tk fic)

Being part human, part reindeer- and shunned by both, Chopper isn't familiar with a lot of human concepts. However, he has Hiriluk, his mentor, to guide him... basically, he learns what tickling is.

“Hey! H-HEY!! Don’t go! I’m r-really sorry!”

The pleads of the old quack Dr Hiriluk were accompanied by uproarious laughter and shuffles of the Drum Island snow. His latest unwilling “patient” had ingested a (very, very, very, very, very) experimental instantaneous hypothermia relief cure, keeling over like he had been hit by a gas attack- however this time, strained chuckles were being forced out of his throat. Running from his patient, Hiriluk dashed past the ailing town into the small stump, free from sickness of the king’s heart, in the depths of the outskirts of Drum, where he had resided in to continue his illicit passion. The rattling of the tinctures in his briefcase came to a halt as he stopped at the humble front door, and with a small creak and the squishy stomp of half-human hooves, it opened.

“Welcome back, Doctor.” greeted Chopper, the plaster on his injuries coming apart- most of which around his waist and torso had been removed as they healed. The old man inched closer to him, adjusting the gauze as he rambled.

“My patient ran away, I’m telling you! He ran!! I swear- one second ago I was hearing him laugh, and the other, I thought he’d have ran up the Drum Rockies with how far he went!”

”What do you MEAN, “again”, blue nose!?” Hiriluk scolded, Chopper scowling and flailing in response.

”Again?” replied the reindeer, only to be greeted with a clobber to the head.

”Don’t call me blue nose!”

The two almost broke out into fisticuffs, but their good consciences made the fighting stopped at an abrupt halt. Catching his breath, Hiriluk continued rambling frustratedly, pacing across the lignen floors.

”See, Chopper- I was so sure of it! The serum was meant to increase body temperature!” he explained, while continuing to tend to the reindeer’s injuries. “I thought it’d fix his hypothermia, b-but it ended up tickling him! I was so sure…”

The reindeer’s ears perked up at the sound of the new word. Some human thing, he thought…

But what was it- this… tickling?

”What’s that?” Chopper tilted his head- with a genuine, inquisitive curiosity, looking up at Hiriluk.

"What?"

"What's "tickling"?" he asked. The question was innocuous- but the old quack squinted, furrowing his brow and pacing, struggling to find words. There were mutters and murmurs of "erm" and "um", the explanation being on the tip of his tongue but not coming out of his mouth. Hiriluk had a way with words- often to motivate and innovate, but even he, a great doctor in Chopper's eyes, was stumped- but not for long.

"It's a funny feeling." He stated. "But it's also strange… It's so funny that you'll laugh to your heart's content, but it feels… indescribable."

"Indescribable?"

"So you're not describing anything." replied Chopper.

"I can't just explain it to you." Hiriluk shrugged. "I'd describe it as indescribable."

The old man was taken aback, a stutter in his voice. "Let me show you." Chopper nodded, as he sat down, scooping the reindeer in his lap and apprehensively traced at his coat. "I'll try my best to be careful around your wou-"

Immediately, he started to giggle lightly, twitching with each trace and stifling it with a smile. It was funny- not in a humorous sense, but strange, certainly- but why was he laughing? Why did he want to laugh?

"It's strange! It's really strange!" Chopper pleaded at the bony, clumsy hands of his mentor, twisting around, to which Hiriluk gave a concerned look.

"Try not to make your bandages come apart, Chopper. Your wounds will show."

"B-ahaha-But it feels really strange!" he shrilled, kicking his legs as spritely laughter burst out as clumsy fingers tried to be careful aroundd the plaster covering the deep scrapes of determination. Hiriluk smiled, delighting in scratching lightly at Chopper's fluffy midsection, before stopping to face him.

"You're ticklish. That's why it's strange."

Chopper patted the sensitive area, catching his breath. "Are all humans like this?"

"Most." Hiriluk explained. "Or so they say. Everyone's weak somewhere. Even when someone says they aren't, they probably are. It can be on the tips of their ears-" he said, grazing the area (which only turned out to be bothersome) "or the back of their knees-" which he scratched at, causing Chopper's hoof to flail in recoil- "but there are exceptions. And you're not one of them." The doctor continued, tracing, poking, swirling one finger around different areas- those typical for a tickly feeling to take shape. The fur on the bottom of his front and back hooves was particularly sensitive, causing the reindeer's hidden laughter to spill out.

"Ahaha-ha-HA! Th-thihis… hehe-HAHA!"

"It tickles, doesn't it?" Hiriluk replied.

"Yeah! -hah- Yeah, that!"

"It tickles! It's tickling- you're tickling!" Chopper minced the sentence, yet still meaning his plead. Hiriluk smiled, stopping his less gentle approach when he realised the reindeer's erratic movements were hindering the healing of his injury- an injury he had deeply tended to. However, in this moment, the injury in his heart was quelled.

The incentive caused him to be slightly more inquisitive, yet still cautious of Chopper, who was squealing and kicking at every light fiddle of fingers under his fluffy chin- unusually weak- and tweak of bony hands at his sides, which made him shriek, and the skittering of digits under his knees- feeling, but not knowing. He'd stopped asking questions. Quackery, the reindeer called it. This was magic. A strange, tingly, funny, feely, magic.

"It does, doesn't it?" Hiriluk replied, smiling while switching back to the gentle grazes and cautious concern. "Well, you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine."

"Wow..." Chopper exclaimed. "That was funny... and fun!"

Chopper's laughter went up several octaves- so high that it went silent, and that was the quack doctor's cue to stop. Allowing his apprentice to catch his breath, he set him down.

Uproarious and anguished, almost suffocated laughter could be heard from who Hiriluk recognized as a previous patient.

"Not for him." he said...

...then immediately after, a metaphorical lightbulb appeared over Hiriluk's head, as he dramatically proclaimed-

Chopper couldn't help but agree a little- it was admittedly quite enjoyable.

"Laughter... medicine..." He put his finger up, pointing with the passion of a pirate. "This could be a remedy for the kingdom... Yes! Yes, it can!"

/////////

Chopper rolled around on the deck of the Going Merry, Luffy and Usopp noodling pathetically beside him.

"HA-hahaha-ha HA! Don't tickle me! Robin, you bastard! Idiot!" the reindeer laughed while hands tickled the trio to tears. The appendages protruding through Luffy's torso tormented his tummy to no end, while six hands spidered Usopp's sides, springing from the planks of Merry. Finally, they let up, and Robin looked over from her book, setting it down on her deck-chair to leave an affectionate pat on Chopper's head.

"Y-you bastard! Don't call me cute after torturing me!" he yelled. "I hate it! It doesn't make me happy, not at all! Idiot!"

"Cute." she commented, as the reindeer puffed up, fuming flusteredly- and breaking out into a small, shy dance, blushing.

#tickling #tickle community #t-word #tickle fic #tickle #one piece tickle #one piece tickling

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anartisticdreamer0 · 6 months

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time for liveblog of qtoo stream:

oh hi tilín o/

we’re all wondering what your doing here

“there will be more to come” tilín don’t be like this man

WHO TF IS KILLING THOSE PIGLINS DAMN

damn how evil was? is? q man.

oh okay we acknowledge the beeping, it’s definitely life support

ah a portal, but he doesn’t wanna go- he did- he looked at all his other options and went fine

he realized he’s really far out

RICHAS- pfft richas doesn’t have the fuckin skin on- BAHAAHAHA

there he is properly, q trying to get the admins to redo the scene pfft

tilin wants q to introduce them to richas

i like the detail that richas has their personal blue sign while tilin has the basic signs that they all used to have

PA QUACK AAAAAAAA CRIES

q asking why richas looks so bad and is happy one of them is treating him nicely

HIJA- FUCKING FINALLY

DAMN TILÍN- damn q is really trying to make them understand he loves them both and richas didn’t replace tilín to him, and richas still means a lot

why is richas here, someone free this stinky child.

HA RICHAS SAID IT! HE TOLD Q HES IN A HOSPITAL!

richas is doing the most-

WHY IS THERE A BOAT. (oh roier)

richas is like “nah dude its fine i get it” and tilín is like “nah fuck this guy”

should be clear i’m not 100% this is actually tilín but ya know gonna treat them as if they are until otherwise obvious

oop richas is burning the trees and tilin ain’t complaining

IS THIS A MAZE OF HIS SINS??

TALLULAH- HIJA YOU FUCK- why is he not saying whose tallulah’s parent is- BRO SHE AINT YOUR DAUGHTER- YOU TRIED TO KILL HER DAY ONE OF HER LIFE!!!

“a better father than you” well about that tilín- roier’s probably currently hitting his new kid or something

aww q’s excitement to see a picture of tilin and him together

WILBURRR- bruh not this bullshit of him maybe being tilín’s other father- BRUH YOU JUST WANTED IT TO BE WILBUR Q!!

oh etoiles!!

Q EITHER JUST SHAT ON WILBUR OR ETOILES- probably will- bro at least his kid is alive so ya know- he may be absent but hey at least she lives sooo

ayo is that a chest of tnt- AYO WHY DID TILIN JUST KILL Q DOR WHAT RICHAS SAID??

oh now they’re fighting- they want q to stay out of their fight- but richas is being weirdly mean towards tilin- hey wait what- WHAT?? HE LITERALLY WASNT LIKE THAT 5 MINUTES AGO???

that heart monitor should be going way faster truth be told

damn richas is so fuckin jealous for some reason

q is realizing how much he fucked up

oh richas statue is back.

IF I HEAR A CHEST OPEN ITS ALL FUCKED

ya know i did hear tilin was a big fan of fighting eggs

DAMN. “have you achieved something in life?”

IS RICHAS DEAD? ILL COMMIT ARSON.

IS RICHAS DEAD?? coma defo. OK SO NEITHER OF THEM DEAD. just tilin.

RICHAS CHILL FOR FIVE SECONDS WE’RE TRYING TO FIND OUT IF YOUR DEAD.

and we’re going full tnt. RICHAS IS NOT DEAD!! HES IN A COMA!! unfortunate, BUT HES NOT DEAD!!

awwww richas. richas said q made him really happy and asked if q was happy with life. q said no.

BOMBS AWAY TIME!! THERE GOES THE LABYRINTH OF MEMORIES! (bot yet) he just wants to keep the memory maze. to say goodbye.

he really wants to keep the memories- damn. “why do you think your life has value?” (tilin) FUCK. FUCK. “my life never had value, neither did my memories.” (q) AAAAAAAA “they meant a lot to me dad. but they were in the past.” (richas)

THERE IT ALL GOES!!

(oops looks like lore spoiled into the main game)

water. it’s always FUCKIN WATER.

oh he’s leaving tilin? telling them not to wait for him, not to come for him.

oh okay lore over? but he didn’t die? welp lore over.

#qsmp #qsmp liveblog #qsmp quackity #some mistranslations here and there #but in my defense spanish is my second language #and im live translating #sorry!#but should be main ideas of what it is

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noonaishere · 5 months

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Online/Offline [C.S] - ten | F, senpai

You sat, like every other time you streamed, in front of your computer with the room lights off, but a strip of soothing red LEDs on so you could still see your desk. You were a faceless streamer and could comfortably sit in the darkness since no one needed to see you. Your blue light blocking glasses rested on your nose as you set up the chat and everything else you needed for a hard night’s work of being silly on the internet.

“Oooookay. Can you hear me guys? One, two. One, two. Mic check, mic check. Sob in the mob with the Rob Bob Bob?”

A few people in the chat helpfully answered that your audio sounded too quiet. You adjusted it.

“How about that? Price check on prune juice, Bob. Price check on prune juice.”

Everyone started sending thumbs ups and happy faces, with a few saying “You’re good!”

“Thank you, kittens. I guess I have to do the intro, huh.” You took a breath and - as fast as you could - said: “Hey everyone it’s Jageun Geomeun Goyangi, JGG, the Little Black Cat, coming to you live out there in radioland. We got a great stream tonight; a few indie games, I might play an old favorite, who knows where the night will take us? I hope you enjoy the stream and I hope you enjoy the jokes and remember, no backseat gaming., or I’ll turn this car around! If you like the video, like it, if you dislike it, dislike it, but let’s waste no further time and get to gaming.”

You paused. and inhaled deeply.

“How long was that?”

This was an odd little game that developed between you and your chat. When you first started, you tried to make your intro as personable as possible and it just got longer and and more ridiculous. Now you said it as fast as possible to see if you could beat your best time.

The times rolled in.

LeaBea: 0:8.02 TheNicestGuy: 0:0:7.57 QuackIsWhack✅: 0:0:8.22 🗻of Namhae: 0:0:7.58 YangYangGangGang: 0:0:8.15 SleepySheepy😴: 69:69:69.69

“SleepySheepy you’re so full of shit,” you laughed. “But also: nice, nice, nice, nice.”

SleepySheepy😴: LOLOL

“And what’s with the disparities guys? I felt like that was under eight seconds and you’re all giving me weird numbers.”

🗻of Namhae: You didn’t tell us when to start, lol

“That’s true Namhae, I should start giving signals. That’s my fault. Anyway, we got a good stream for you tonight, a few indie games, I might play an old favorite--” You laughed.

🗻of Namhae: 😞 LeaBea: LOL SleepySheepy😴: F WackIsQuack: Haha! QuackIsWhack✅: Change your fucking name back, I swear to god

“No name trolling, you know the rules, ladies, men, and nonbinary friends: Be nice in the chat, the world is already too harsh.”

JohnnyYuta: Sorry, Quack QuackIsWhack✅: Thank you

“Okay, let’s see… if Keeho is alive… and awake. And then we can see who else wants to stream.”

JohnnyYuta: He’s already streaming A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: He’s been streaming all day QuackIsWhack✅: You know what that means…

“I don’t have enough money to buy chicken nuggets?”

The chat flooded with emojis of potatoes that were meant to be chicken nuggets. Truly a crime against humanity that there wasn’t a nugget emoji.

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 🗻of Namhae: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 QuackIsWhack✅: You gotta kill him

“I will, Quack… or should I say: Shane Madej. And then you can trap him in your ribcage like the demon you are.”

QuackIsWhack✅: LOL

“But if JohnnyYuta and Tree saw that he’s streaming already, let’s go raid him. Send him: the nuggets.”

You navigated over to Keeho’s Twitch page to find him, as your spies informed correctly, already streaming. As you and your chat made your way over to his, and his chat was suddenly filled with the same message of five nuggets in a row, over and over again.

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 QuackIsWhack: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 🗻of Namhae: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 TheNicestGuy: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 I💚Keeho: Heyyyy, it’s Cat! A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 JohnnyYuta: The jig is up! JohnnyYuta: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 StrickenChicken: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 UltimateHyung✅: Oh noooo~~ a raid~~ lol UltimateHyung✅: Whatever shall we do with all these nuggets! I💚Keeho: Hi Cat! 👋 There’sARockInMySock: Cat!! 🗻of Namhae: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 QuackIsWhack: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 MinHoe: Sheepy, I thought you weren’t awake now?? SleepySheepy😴: I fucking LIED lol MinHoe: lol

“There’s what in the chat?” Keeho looked up from his game. “Ohh, Cat's on! Hi Cat!”

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: ACCEPT OUR NUGGETS!! 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔

“Accept nothing. Accept my Discord invite, you pest.”

Di-Dng!

“Hiiiiiiiii~~,” you sang.

“What’s going on, Cat?”

“Nothing much. I thought you said you weren’t starting before now?”

“Ummm, did you hear there’s a new map in Tale of Tails?”

“That weirdo gumiho gacha MMO you play?”

“Yes.”

You laughed. “No, because it’s a weirdo game for weirdos. Like yourself: a weirdo.”

“Okay, there’s no need to go so hard, what are my fans going to think?”

“That you’re a weirdo.”

“You can just admit you’re jealous, Cat.”

“I have no desire, nor need, to admit such a thing.”

He laughed. “I’ll get you hooked on it one day.”

“Some of us aren’t rich and can’t buy the best cards, my guy.”

“You don’t need to buy cards, my dude.”

“Is that what you tell yourself every time you hit ‘Purchase,’ champion?”

“It’s what I know, chief.”

QuackIsWhack: The girls are fightingggggggg MinHoe: Sheepy, answer my fucking message SleepySheepy😴: nah fam MinHoe: Don’t you nah fam me SleepySheepy😴: lolol 🗻of Namhae: Oooo MinHoe, so forceful 🗻of Namhae: Kabedon him against the wall next SleepySheepy😴: lolol, senpaiiiii~~~ MinHoe: I hate you, Sheepy MinHoe: 😞😞😞 SleepySheepy😴: 😎😎😎 LuciPURR: Cat, call him “buddy,” “guy” next

“They want me to fight with you more.”

“You just came here to fight with me?”

“No, I came here to fight you… in the realm of games!”

“I’m going to send you to the Shadow Realm!”

Both of you started singing the Mortal Kombat theme.

🗻of Namhae: MORTAL KOMBATTTT QuackIsWhack: daNA daNA daNA TheNicestGuy: daNA daNA daNA A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: DA DA DA DA DA DA DA JohnnyYuta: DA DA DA DA DA DA DA UltimateHyung✅: There’s the traitors UltimateHyung✅: I saw you sell Keeho out in Cat’s chat QuackIsWhack: Yo, but why are you stream sniping, boss? UltimateHyung✅: Are you defending them, Quack? QuackIsWhack: You’re all guilty of the same crime JohnnyYuta: You gotta do what you gotta do to get your fav streamers to stream together lol SleepySheepy😴: You gotta do what you gotta do what you gotta do, you know? LuciPurr: Do the Dew A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: I ship them 🥵 JohnnyYuta: My OTP 🗻of Namhae: guys… TheNicestGuy: GUYS QuackIsWhack: No shipping. I’m the mod, I say so UltimateHyung✅: Not in this house you aren’t QuackIsWhack: In Cat’s chat I am lol UltimateHyung✅: Lol QuackIsWhack: We should migrate back to our own chat anyway

“Thank you, Quack,” you said. “There will be no shipping in this house. Especially not drop shipping.”

“We’re in different houses.”

“There will be no shipping in either of these houses. Only a pox upon them.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m about to ship you with the wall.”

“Ohhh…”

“By slamming your head into it.”

Keeho laughed. “You’d have to be here first. And on camera.”

“Fuck, my one weakness.”

“You’re like a vampire.”

You hissed like Nosferatu.

“Understandable. I’ll set up the game.”

“Kay kay.”

“Kee Kee.”

“Ho Ho.”

“Santa??”

The two of you laughed.

As Keeho invited you to the game he read the chat. “‘Is Cat a vampire?’ Are you a vampire, Cat? Am I friends with a Dracula?”

You hissed into your microphone.

“Is that a cat hiss or a vampire hiss?”

You laughed. “Now I’m not sure.”

Keeho chuckled.

“But I’m a faceless streamer, person-in-Keeho’s-chat.”

“So you’re like a vampire or something and can’t appear on camera.”

“Vampires can’t go out in the sun, dude.”

“Twilight ones can.”

“You’re trying to make a point to me about vampires with the straightest, most boring vampires possible?”

He laughed.

“Where’s your sense of terrifying homoeroticism?”

QuackIsWhack✅: They do be like that tho There’sARockInMySock: The inherent homoeroticism of the vampyr 🗻of Namhae: Vampires are gay?

You laughed. “Yeah, they’re pretty gay, Namhae. At least the good ones are. Bram Stoker was closeted and stuff… he was best friends with Oscar Wilde… you know how it goes. Carmilla was like the OG vampire book and that was about two girls. Anne Rice’s vampires were pretty gay as well.”

“Why do you know so much about vampires?”

“Maybe I’m the Big Titty Goth Girlfriend we’ve all heard so much about. Ever think of that?”

“Then you are shooting yourself in the foot by not having a camera.”

You cackled.

“Plus, I know what you look like, and you’re not.”

“Oh shit, yeah. Damnit, if only we were never friends in real life.”

Keeho laughed loudly. “Let’s go back in time and not be friends, and then I’ll believe it when you say it.”

“Yes, that’s my fucking plan.” You laughed.

QuackIsWhack✅: Anyone who asks about her tits, gets the hammer JohnnyYuta: Dang, Quack JohnnyYuta: Punish me mommy QuackIsWhack✅: You trying to get banned? JohnnyYuta: Absolutely not, ma’am 🧍‍♂️ A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Crack the whip on him! QuackIsWhack✅: Tree? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: No ma’am 🧍‍♂️

“What in the kinkery fuckery is going on in your chat?” Keeho laughed.

“Stop looking at my stream, dude. And I don’t claim them.”

“You have to claim them, they’re your chat.”

“Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

QuackIsWhack✅: Excuse you?

“Quack is my only monkey. I made a circus just for her.”

He laughed.

“She’s been around the longest.”

🗻of Namhae: I’ve been here since the beginning too QuackIsWhack✅: Yeah, haven’t you been here longer than I have?

“Wait, what? Namhae, you’ve been here the longest?”

🗻of Namhae: I think so. I remember back when you only had five subscribers, right when you started 🗻of Namhae: (One was me, btw. lol) QuackIsWhack✅: Yeah, I came in at like, 15 or something lol 🗻of Namhae: Lol 🗻of Namhae: This is the same account from back then too, go check how long I’ve been subbed JohnnyYuta: No lies Namhae? 🗻of Namhae: Lol, why would I lie? Quack can just check QuackIsWhack: Ohhh yeah, lemme check A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Did she have any other fans then? 🗻of Namhae: There was a handful of people 🗻of Namhae: I haven’t seen any of their names in a really long time though QuackIsWhack: Holy shit, you’ve really been here the whole time 🗻of Namhae: See? 😊 A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Yooooooo TheNicestGuy: Wow JohnnyYuta: Oppa! YangYangGangGang: Oppaaaa!

“Ohhhhh shit. You hear that, Keeho? I’ve got someone who’s been here almost as long as me.” You laughed.

“Shit, I’m so jealous. That’s so cool though.”

🗻of Namhae: 😊😊😊

“Aww, cute blushie smiles right back at you, Namhae. You know what? I should make you a mod, since you’re always around.”

🗻of Namhae: Really? 🗻of Namhae: I’d be honored JohnnyYuta: Oh shit TheNicestGuy: Wow… A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Senpai’s noticed him, AND he’s gonna be a mod? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: I’m so fucking jealous

“Well, you know, stay around for five or so years and maybe you’ll become a mod too, Tree.”

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Goals 🥲🥲🥲 JohnnyYuta: Living the dream, Namhae

“You’re so silly, Tree. Annnnnd, you’re a mod now, Namhae. Quack can message you and tell you the ropes.”

QuackIsWhack✅: We got so many ropes, you’d think it was the Scouts up in here 🗻of Namhae✅: testing…? 🗻of Namhae✅: Oh my god 🗻of Namhae✅: I have a check QuackIsWhack✅: Woowwww JohnnyYuta: Look at himmmm QuackIsWhack✅: How do you feel, Namhae? 🗻of Namhae✅: So special 🥺🥺🥺 A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Ahhh my TT QuackIsWhack✅: lolol 🗻of Namhae✅: 😤😤😤 🗻of Namhae✅: Who needs to get banned? Lemme at em! YangYangGangGang: There’s a new Oppa in town

You chuckled. “You’re funny, Namhae.”

“I’ve seen him in my chat occasionally when you’re not streaming, he cracks me up.”

🗻of Namhae✅: 😳😳😳 JohnnyYuta: BOTH senpais have seen him! 🗻of Namhae✅: I don’t know what to do with all this A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Go crazy! Go stupid! SleepySheepy😴: Go apeshit MinHoe: Sleepy, answer me dammit SleepySheepy😴: 😴😴😴

You laughed at the chat.

Di-Dng!

“Heyyy, BrickTheBracken and MickTheMacken are here!”

“Hey guys,” Keeho said.

“Hey hey,” Bracken and Mick responded.

“Are you guys in the same room again? You’re a little echoey.”

“Sorry,” Bracken responded. “We just moved into the new place and we’re not totally set up yet.”

“I’ll take my laptop to the other room,” Mick offered. A few seconds went by and he could be heard shuffling his headset. “This better?”

“Much better.” Keeho answered.

“Do we know if Yeji or Ryujin are going to show up?” You asked.

“They should,” Bracken offered. “Maybe they had to stay late at their day jobs?”

Di-Dng!

“Don’t even fucking talk about day jobs,” Ryujin exploded into the chat. “I was watching you guys on the way home and I’m so mad I had to stay late. I wanted to be around for the nugget raid.”

You laughed.

“Love a good nug raid.”

🗻of Namhae✅: Everyone loves nugs 🗻of Namhae✅: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 QuackIsWhack✅: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 StrickenChicken: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 UltimateHyung: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 LeaBea: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 JohnnyYuta: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 TheNicestGuy: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 YangYangGangGang: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 LeaBea: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 JohnnyYuta: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 There’sARockInMySock: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 MinHoe: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 LuciPURR: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 JohnnyYuta: All hail the nugs!

“Ryujin, are you watching my chat?”

“I ammmm, thanks guys. Now I really feel like I was at the earlier raid.”

“My chat’s pretty sweet.”

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: You’re sweet

“Oh, Tree, I’m blushing. My heart just went ‘doki doki,’ dude.”

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: 😳😳😳

“Can you quit flirting with your chat and accept my invite?” Keeho asked.

“I’m not flirting with anyone. They’re all just lovely people.”

“Uh huh.”

“I don’t see an invite from you.”

“Huh? Oh, I didn’t add you.”

“HA!” You laughed loudly.

QuackIsWhack✅: F A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: F StrickenChicken: F UltimateHyung: F SleepySheepy😴: F I💚Keeho: F LeaBea: F JohnnyYuta: F TheNicestGuy: F There’sARockInMySock: F MinHoe: F 🗻of Namhae✅: F, senpai

“At least Namhae respects me.”

🗻of Namhae✅: I respect you, sunbaenim

“All I need is your respect, Namhae.” Keeho said as he held his fist to his chest and pretended to struggle with his emotions.

You laughed. “Close my stream, dammit!”

“I’m going to close it when we start playing.”

Di-Dng!

“Guys! I made it!” Yeji yelled, winded.

“Okay, okay, calm down.” Keeho responded. “Do you want us to play a round while you get situated or would you rather play now?”

“I need to play something and not think about the printer that I spent like three hours trying to fix because our office didn’t pay a bill and now the printer company won’t come fix it and no one else can or wants to fix it.”

“Holy shit,” you said. “You’re way too pretty for that, Yeji.”

“I knowwww, I should never have become an office worker. I thought it would be easy.”

“Aww, my baby.”

SleepySheepy😴: WE love you, Yeji I💚Keeho: Yejiiiiiii LeaBea: Aww 😥😥😥 There’sARockInMySock: Yeji! 💜💜💜 QuackIsWhack✅: We love you, bubbah A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Yeji is the prettiest JohnnyYuta: Love our girl StrickenChicken: I’m not wlw, but if I was I would pick you, Yeji UltimateHyung: Were I single, I would ask you out in a manly fashion 🗻of Namhae✅: You deserve better, Yeji

“Are you looking at my chat, Yeji?” You asked.

“Ryujin is showing me. Aww, you guys are sweet.”

“You do deserve better.”

“I know… UGH I have to interview somewhere else or make more money streaming so I can leave.”

“I think you can do it. I mean… I never went to college and here I am.”

“Living the dream, Cat.” Ryujin said.

You laughed. “Nah, I’m living the ‘a lot of hard work and a little luck’.”

“Dang right, hard work,” Keeho said emphatically.

“Mhm.”

“Now: Are we finally going to play?”

“Yes!”

previous | main cast | masterlist | next

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋

#San #Choi San #Ateez #Ateez smau #Ateez fic #Ateez au #cafe au #streamer au #fake dating #reader fic #ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ/ᴏғғʟɪɴᴇ

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mouadmoustaid · 5 months

Text

A misunderstanding between Marceline and Simon

It was a bitterly cold winter day in the Ice Kingdom, and snowflakes danced in the air as Marceline, the Vampire Queen, stormed into the Ice King's icy abode. Her usually laid-back demeanor was replaced by a fiery anger that echoed through the frozen halls.

"Ice King!" she bellowed, her breath turning to mist in the frigid air. "What in Ooo did you do with my spade? You know I need it for my bass!"

The Ice King, oblivious to Marceline's anger, floated down from his icy throne, wearing his tattered blue robes and his crown adorned with icy spikes. "Oh, hey, Marceline! I thought it would make a cool addition to my collection. Besides, I needed a new snow shovel."

Marceline's eyes flashed with frustration as she clenched her fists. "That spade was custom-made for me, and I need it for my bass playing. You can't just take it without asking!"

Just then, one of the wise Gunters waddled over, flapping its wings in concern. The little blue penguin had seen its fair share of conflicts in the Ice Kingdom and tried to mediate the situation.

"Gunter, my man, can you talk some sense into the Ice King? He took my spade without asking, and I can't play my bass without it!" Marceline pleaded with the penguin, hoping for some assistance.

The wise Gunter quacked thoughtfully and then waddled over to the Ice King, gesturing with its flipper-like wings. The Ice King scratched his head, looking perplexed.

BMO, the living video game console, observed the scene from a corner, its screen displaying a surprised expression. "Adventure time drama level: Maximum," it remarked in its usual monotone voice.

The wise Gunter attempted to convey the importance of the spade to the Ice King, using a series of expressive quacks and wing flaps. The Ice King, finally understanding the gravity of the situation, looked apologetic.

"Oh, Marceline, I didn't realize it meant so much to you. I just thought it looked cool. I guess I got carried away," he said, floating over to a corner and retrieving the spade.

Marceline's anger softened as the Ice King handed the spade back to her. "Just ask next time, okay? It's not cool to take someone's stuff without permission."

The Ice King nodded, realizing he had inadvertently upset Marceline. The wise Gunter let out a satisfied quack, considering its mediation a success. BMO blinked its screen in approval, witnessing the resolution of the icy conflict in the Adventure Time world.

And so, with the spade returned, Marceline could once again play her bass with the unique tool she cherished, and harmony was restored in the chilly Ice Kingdom on that snowy winter day.

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ceilingfan5 · 2 years

Note

22 (Hey I love you and still very much do want to marry you but I need you to elaborate on these last few amazon purchases with my credit card?) w blupjeans please :O!!!! thank u <3 -ise

“Hey, Bear?” They’ve been on the phone for at least an hour now, and there’s been pleasant silence for a solid chunk of it, Lup working on a project and Bary idly re-reading the same page over and over in the text book he’s meant to be approving or denying for use in his class next semester. On the one hand, it sure does have many words inside, in a particular order. On the other, his mind is entirely elsewhere, and it may as well be word salad with a noticeable lack of ranch dressing.

“Huh?” he says, incredibly intelligently, genius level, Nobel prize and a half, tell the news, et cetera and so on. So big-brained he lugs the thing around in a wheelbarrow and can’t see because the implications of that, physically, are horrifically comical. Jesus, what kind of flesh nonsense crimes would have to be committed to manage such a thing? Now, maybe if he carried it around in a backpack…no, that’s still pretty awful.

“Bear,” Lup says, a multi-pack of the amused flavor and the getting-at-something flavor, which is a bit spicy, honestly. “Back to the planet, hon, reel your ass in and turn your gravity boots on.”

“Click click woosh.” Barry shakes himself and tries to focus. It’s easy to daydream about other things, one big thing in particular, if he’s gonna be real with himself here. He keeps spinning the roulette wheel, or maybe one of those things that makes the different animal noises, and, swish, moooo, he’s thinking of a white dress and a veil and rice from above, and swish, baaaaa, he’s back to a number with far too many digits and its place on a check he’s going to have to write, and swish, quack quack, it’s the tin cans after a limo, the Just Married :) he can’t wait to write…How can a guy focus on the here and now when the most important event he’ll ever be a part of is looming?

“One more time, paging Doctor Bluejeans, you’re needed back on the planet, Doctor Bluejeans?” Lup snickers. “Hey, come on. You’ve been in the clouds a lot lately.”

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of clouds up there, and, you know, as clouds go, they’re pretty fluffy and inviting and, uh, up, there. What’s, what’s the thing?” He knows she can’t see him, but his cheeks burn and he rubs his neck anyway.

“Listen. Listen. Listen.”

“Listening, I prommy.”

“Stop letting Taako teach you slang, I swan to John. But uh. Hey. I love you and still very much do want to marry you but I need you to elaborate on these last few amazon purchases with my credit card?”

Barry freezes. Had he…did he…what? He didn’t think…But…oh dear.

“Your credit card?”

“That’s what the numbers business do say. On the bank’em cruncher and everything. Several dollars, my fucking beloved, and, uh, Barry, Bear Bear. Barrold. Barty Juhbullgens.”

Barry is sweating whatever comes after bullets. Very quiet armistice, maybe.

“Should I put you, my fuckin’ betrothed, on blast, right here, right now, to an audience of you and moi, or do you, are you aware of my uh, confusion on this front?”

“Um,” Barry says, throat dry, dry dry.

“Too late. Trendy Watermelon Inflatable Pool, $57.95. Fuckin’, 1,000 Bright Colors Ball Pit Balls Crush Free with storage bag, of COURSE. $99.04. Entire Gallon of Fake Blood, $24.98. Burritos Tortilla Blanket, X-Large, $34.99. Fort Builder Kit, $35.99.”

“Um. I, um. I, I, um. In, in my defense,” Barry pushes up his glasses. “I thought I was using my card. And just your Prime, I’m so sorry, incredibly remorseful,”

“I’m not worried about the money, doofus, although I would appreciate you taking care of that, but no. No, uh, my question is more on the order of what the actual fuck.”

“Um,” Barry says, swallowing. “If I said honeymoon prep, would you believe me?”

There’s a beat.

“You know what,” Lup says, before absolutely losing it and laughing so hard she almost asphyxiates. He can practically see her smile, all screwed up and wiggly, trying to hold in the mirth like she’s trying to keep marbles in her armpits. “Yeah. Yeah, I would.”

#blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #lup taz #lup adventurezone #lup taaco #taz #tazb #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #fan5fics #taz balance #thank you!!

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hekates-corner · 6 months

Text

The Apothecary Diaries | WN Translation | Arc 9 - Chapter 1

Hey there! Whether you found this on your own, or if you might've been redirected by a later chapter: Welcome.

For a number of reasons I ended up here. I play the wine-aunt that tells all that happens in the WN chapters, post light novel 9.

You can find a revised introduction in the Masterlist.

I relay everything from the chapters, to the best of my abilities, so be warned that all the spoilers are down below. If you'd like to get spoiled, but less? My dm's/asks are open!

Chapter 1

We re-enter the story with an explanation of it being spring - yet even in the carriage, the heat is more unbearable than in the capital at the hottest of times.. so, those that weren't in a carriage were suffering extra.

Like Chue said, as soon as they arrive they're summoned to be split into groups. One of the medical officers then explains that they'll split into three groups/groups of three before being stationed in the buildings. The confusion begins here, as they expected the groups from the ships to stay how they were.

Now it goes over to the middle ranks and Tianyu would end up with MaoMao and the quack. MaoMao agrees that she also thought he was/should be with Li/Lee.

We then get a whole paragraph about how the last name is so common that usually the people with it will just go by their first name - Lihaku is one such example.

As we already know, Tianyu/Tenyuu messed up a few times with a high ranking official that came to the medical room on the boat.bThe doctor that splits them into groups says that he can return to his original group.. if he behaves and Maomao takes silent note that the palast her and the quack are in has lower class people in it so despite them attending to more, it seemed easier.

The quack(?) then goes on to say that Tianyu should be fine with them, given that while he's bad at giving out meds, he's outstanding when it comes to surgery. Maomao mutters to herself "look at the quack.." but idk if anyone overhears it. At that point the quack's self doubt kicks in and he fidgets as he questions aloud if he can even teach Tianyu anything.

Tianyu says it's nice to meet the quack, then/while patting Maomao on the shoulder. Maomao responds with the usual “I look forward to working with you.”. She's already in front of the quack but the latter goes red in the face and shy and hides behind her xD Tianyu goes about the usual as well (calls the quack ojisan aka old man/uncle as well xD) and the quack can only shyly give back a “Ehm.. it's nice to meet you.”

I think it's the quack who then proceeds to say that while the location might change, the job of a doctor remains the same. Checking patients, that's it. If something happens, everyone has their subordinates and to contact them.

Maomao internally remarks that the person talking is an easygoing one - an understanding/easy to understand boss. She'd assumed they only picked people who could react flexibly despite a location change, but now she questions if they really have the atmosphere of people working in the field.

Tianyu then asks if they should move, he’s carrying his luggage and we get the info that the place where Maomao and the quack are meant to stay is Gyokuens villa. There’s mention of another major house that also appears to belong to Gyokuen (pls note that translators really struggle with the char names) and notes on how it shows how strong his power is that two of the three houses/palasts are his. The public office and main residence are even next to each other, with the annex being about a five minute walk away.

It then jumps to Maomao being in a room in the main residence. It’s a fancy one, a guest room that they decided to repurpose as medical room - in her eyes a tasteful room.

The palast is in the center of the town, yet it’s not as noisy as expected. Maomao mentions internally how it must be due to the size of it, as well as the walls and trees that block out the noise.

Outside of Maomao, the quack and Tianyu, there’s a messenger as well - the four were guided to their place by a local.

At long last, the quack says how it’s all exciting - “if his beard was still intact it would be swaying and dancing”. Despite being timid, the commotion of the town seems to get to him now.

Tianyu remains suspicious - while he does look around, it appears almost as if he’s judging it all instead of enjoying what he sees. Maomao ends up thinking to herself that he’s hard to grasp/understand.

The next paragraph is tougher to crack but the gist I got is that Maomao admits internally that she doesn’t know what he’s thinking. She can tell he has the personality type that would latch onto things he finds interesting and could imagine what his behavior would be like then but she can’t figure out what his interest is/could be.

There’s a “Hello?” coming from the door, Tianyu tilts his head and just as Maomao wonders what’s going on, she sees a familiar face. The other person seems to be of the same recognition impact mode.

“Long time no see” - Of course, it’s Rikuson.. who comes in, bowing respectfully. The tactician's former Lieutenant.

He’s still a good looking man, but he’s more tan than before (don’t shoot the messenger, it’s Maomaos mind and I can’t control it). His tan likely comes from the strong sunshine in the city. There are two people with him that appear to be holding documents.

Maomao & Tianyu reply with the same “long time no see” and Rikuson gives a “it’s been a while” back - the only one that gave a “who’s that” look was… the quack, of course.

Maomao wonders if Tianyu knows Rikuson.. and then kinda answers her own question by adding more filler. Tianyu is a medic student, but was already serving before her. The doctor's station is close to the military one, so it wouldn’t be surprising if they knew one another.

Maomao then glances at Tianyu, who despite saying hello doesn’t appear interested. The quack doesn’t know Rikuson so he’s shy as ever - given that they can’t just ignore him, Maomao admits defeat to the fact she has to do the talking.

She tells Rikuson that the quack is the head doctor/medical officer and she’s there to help him out and Rikusons like “head doctor?” while tilting his head as he looks at the quack.

Maomao, in her head, tries to remember the quacks name but it’s like.. not her forte. She almost forgot it again but then recalls it’s something along the lines of Guen.. and starts with a “Gu….” but just as she’s about to say it Tianyu steps up/in.

He says that the man is famous and Rikuson will understand if he says as little as that the man is a senior medical officer who’s been in the inner/rear palace for a long time. This whole thing goes back to the quack being a fake-out for Luomen/Maomaos adopted dad. Maomao was about to blow their cover but Rikuson takes the bait and is like “Oh, that guy” and kinda slaps one hand into the other.

For a moment Maomao’s confused, but then she understands what Tianyus intentions are and internally recalls that the quack is her old man's stand-in.

The next bit is another tougher one but I think it basically mentions mistreatment and that if Tianyu had the same idea as her then it would be better for Guen to be thought of as her old man rather than himself - ‘cause eunuch and all that.

Plus, she thinks that there’s no way Rikuson doesn’t know about the strategists uncle, Luomen, so Tianyus suggestive way of speaking making it clear that there’s only one medical officer in the inner/rear palace was fortunate.

Don’t ask me what that next line is supposed to be, however I look it up it’s her thinking that she doesn’t know where her eyes or ears are - I think it’s trying to say she’s confused or getting brain fog or something but like… I’m trying.

We then get a reminder that while this city is in the same country, it can be called foreign land. The two attendants Rikuson has with him are both from this town - so one has to be careful of what to say and what not to say.

Maomao then notices something, it could be Rikusons dirty clothes that we’ll come back to next chapter, but in short she ends up having nothing to say, while Tianyu doesn’t seem to have more to say either so she’s like “Rikuson-san seems busy, I’m sorry for taking up your time” aka a friendly just leave already.

Rikuson doesn’t take the bait and instead explains that he just returned from an outdoor trip. He also shares that he gets depressed if he stays in his office all the time, so every now and then he’ll go out.

Despite smiling, there was mud caked on the hem of his clothes - dried mud, though originally dark brown aka the fertile kind. Maomao wonders if he was out in the fields (throwback to locust/grasshopper mania).

We then get, you guessed it, more filler. It’s a dry city, with no puddles by the roadsides. Even if there were, it would likely be of a more whitish, nutritious color. The only place where fertile black mud would be found would be in irrigated fields. In that case, he would be on his way back from somewhere far and it would be better to think he’s not there by chance but that he purposefully came back when Maomao and the others arrived from Li/the capital.

Maomao (?) gives him a short “See you then. Your old boss will notice you if you talk too much”. It didn’t seem like Rikuson had more to say for now, but he was likely busy as well.. and Tianyu chuckles as he realizes who “the former boss” is.

While there are many things to think about, Maomao recalls the words of one of the doctors: Doctors just do a doctors work. And Apothecaries..? Well, they just do an apothecary's work.

| Chapter 2 & Masterlist

If you'd like to get notified when a new chapter drops, I'm open to sending a dm or tagging you - just let me know!

(please note that there are content differences between the web novel and light novel. I'm using the web novel, which isn't as polished as far as I've heard and doesn't have as much extra content)

#kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #hekates apothecary

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quodekash · 1 year

Text

im exhausted and could very easily pass out at any point in time, but it’s our skyy and it’s 11:30pm so here we go again

(because I’m so exhausted my commentary will very much be either very incoherent or there won’t be much of it at all)

theyre so cute omg

AYO THAT WAS UNSETTLING

IM SO USED TO HEARING THE ICONIC WOMAN SAY 'viewer discretion advised'

IT WAS WEIRD TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE SAY THAT, JEEZ

maybe not QUITE like you love him, i think you'd get jealous

I FREAKING KNEW IT

DID I NOT CALL IT??

I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING BETWEEN THEM, HUZZAH I AM A GENIUS

does this mean phum also likes men?

cos if so... my man had a lot of internalised homophobia going on, jeez

its okay, you dont need to come out to anyone at any point in time ever. but telling nueng took some real guts, that was really brave of you, and im proud of you

WU AND DAVID

WU AND THE-ONE-WHITE-GUY

I LOVE THEM

im pretty sure i cried when he proposed to him

it makes me happy to know they remember them

EJRHDFBKV

ITS ALREADY WORKINGGGG

EYE CONTACT LETS GOOO

am i about to cry? are my eyes welling up with tears this very moment as i type this? we may never know.

but the answer is yes

AAAAAAA

THEY MADE IT TO 7 FREAKING HELL YES

THEYRE SO EXCITED FOR THEM

to the surprise of literally no one, i am quickly becoming more obsessed with the side couple than i am with the main characters

AWWWW

theyre back now yayyyy

my bro now has ✨visual impairment✨

but... if he's his ancestor... then petch had sex with a woman?

i guess they had to

as long as they were together and happy tho, it's alright

and as long as the woman/women were aware that like. the guys didnt love them like that.

HOLY QUACK

HELL YES

FREAKING HELL YES

THEY ARE WONDERFUL

THEY ARE PERFECTION

THEY ARE HAPPY

I AM OFFICIALLY OBSESSED WITH THE SIDE COUPLE

everyone act surprised

the letters are so cute

WHAT THE HELL FLASHBACKS???

IM CRYING AGAIN

i aspire to one day have a hawaiian shirt collection as plentiful as palm's

THEY HUG

THEY KISS

THEY FOREHEAD TOUCH

i strongly believe that forehead touching is more intimate than kissing and i will die on this hill

but. why. life in modern times is just generally better for literally at least two reasons that i can think of off the top of my head (shut up its nearly 1am im not thinking properly rn) 1. gay tights, 2. health

i meant to say gay rights but honestly gay tights is also a plus

so theres three reasons

1. gay rights

2. health

3. gay tights

OHHH, THAT ONE

YOU WANNA ENEMIES TO LOVERS YOURSELVES??

thats it. that's the only reason.

palm, you astound and confuse me (in a good way)

wHY

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO TO WAR

WAR IS BAD FOR AT LEAST 6 REASONS

1. death

2. sad

3. i think lots of dead bodies are probably bad for the environment

4. none of the wars in the past are cool. id wanna see a war like 50 years into the future, what if there's like space lasers or something

maybe i should just watch star wars instead of time travelling

5. killing people makes you feel like a mean person

6. picture this scenario: you really want a snack, your favourite snack, whatever your favourite snack is, you're just really craving it. but you cant have it, because you're fiGHTING IN A FREAKING WAR

GERIKJDBF

i was right

IM FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS

AND NOW THEYRE PLAYING IT IN THE BACKGROUND AGAIN???

I AM DEAD. DECEASED.

THAT WAS FREAKING LOVELY

hey, you were just here!

^D^ i am excited for simm

my final thoughts: GUJERKDNGREJKVDBNREUJDFLGHNEOIRLHGPI34EHRNGP9O34EJTPGOJ34ERPOTGJ3P4IERHTG9P34HEJ9TGFH34EI0RHOTGF893UOWB4E0TIOFHJ3490WEIHGUVIBERNDGOIVHEROIDSUFJ390I4OWEHCUOBJREFDNICGOBVPREIODFN

thank you and goodnight

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despairforme · 8 months

Note

Nnoitra would get an audio message from Adelha for his phone to start quacking. The message asks how he and his house plants are doing and if he is interested in a day spent helping in her greenhouse. Adelha will provide food and a good amount of pay for the help.

By now, he'd gotten used to the sudden quacking from his phone. He knew that meant he'd gotten a message from Adelha. Knowing it was her was practical, hence why he hadn't changed the ringtone yet. He was used to receiving LONG messages from her, so when he picked up the phone, he was mentally preparing himself for a long read ( he fucking hated reading ). HOWEVER - she'd been considerate enough to send him an audio message instead.

It wasn't often that people were being considerate of him. Especially not his inability to read longer paragraphs. In school, it had always been a major hindrance for him. Maybe if he'd been a nicer kid, the teachers would've been inclined to give him some help or whatever, but overall... He'd just have to suffer through it. Of course, his reading had gotten worse when he lost his eye ( and that's also when he dropped out of school ). In his daily life, he didn't have to read much, thank fuck. Still it was... Surprisingly nice to have someone go out of their way to make something easier for him.

In her audio message, she asked about how he was doing, and if he was taking care of his plants. He immediately went to fill up a glass of water for them, his phone still in his hand while he listened to the rest of the message. She asked him if he wanted to help out in her greenhouse - she'd pay him and give him food. A greenhouse, huh? Nnoitra thought about it while he poured the water onto one of his plants. It looked perfectly fine, but the soil was dry, so it was probably time to water it.

Had he ever even BEEN to a greenhouse? He'd been in flower shops plenty of times ( literally three of his friends owned one ).

Nnoitra returned the audio message with one of his own.

❝ 'Da plants are still alive, so 'daz a fuckin' win, ain't it? I'm doin' alright, I guess. ❞ He felt kinda stupid for talking into his phone without having someone reply, but hey, it was a lot better than having to text. ❝ I can help ya out in 'da greenhouse, as long as ya don't ask me 'ta pick flowers or some shit. Lemme do 'da heavy liftin'. ❞ He sent the message. What sort of HELP did she need? Whatever it was, it couldn't be so bad. Spending a day surrounded by greens ( surely there was a lot of fucking greenery in a green house? ) while getting FOOD? He'd had worse days than that.

#adelha-mathilde #adelhamathilde #[ SHE IS SO CONSIDERATE OF HIM T-T ]#[ he doesn't deserve ittttttttt ]#[ t - t why is she always so nice to him i cry ]#[ thank you for the ask !! ]#despair for me. ╱ in character.#talking shit. ╱ answers.#burn the city. ╱ main verse.

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scarletshnoz · 1 year

Text

Sally XL (2/5)

Sally posed around in the mirror, frowning and cringing all the while.

'I look like I've put on ten pounds! I've never had bloating this bad… Though I guess I've never really gotten it from eating… Sonic was right though, that salad wasn't even that big…

She scratched her head through her amber locks.

...maybe I'm allergic to something they put in it?'

The princess wandered back onto her couch, noting the alien feeling of the softness covering her butt squashing up against the cushion and flattening. She debated going to see Dr. Quack for some allergy tests as she'd realized she'd actually never had that done before. In her teenage years she'd obviously had neither the time nor resources when fighting to save Mobius from the original Ivo and when having limited rations to survive on allergens weren’t really something that crossed her mind… not that the veggies they had to farm would have been anyway. Though, she didn't feel anything other than puffy. No sore throat, eyes, migraine, lightheadedness … still though, if there was some oil or sauce or pesticide out there that would make her inflate this much whenever she accidentally ate it then maybe she'd best know to avoid it. She would swing by the Tommy Turtle memorial hospital, but… not until tomorrow. She'd rather not leave the castle or even her room until this went back down. The only times Sally ever covered up were when a mission meant she’d need protection from the elements or for special occasions where a dress was expected, she knew she didn’t have any casual baggy clothing that could conceal this.

She stayed seated on her sofa, unsure of what to do with the rest of her evening. She did notice she was hungry, which made sense she supposed… it may have been due to a sudden drop in her blood sugar but it was most likely that it was just because Sally usually ate dinner around this time. She realized deep down that she was overreacting but she didn't want anyone to see her like this. While she knew dinners with the rest of her family were soon going to become a special event again as she had returned to active duty she didn't want to take the chance of any of them noticing and commenting. She decided she would order delivery from somewhere, though most places that did delivery didn't have the healthiest selections and apparently even the healthiest now risked upsetting her stomach to the point where the bloating looked like she had doubled her body fat percentage.

'I'm pretty sure it's an allergy thing, but if not I'm going to have to start asking Sonic if I can pick the restaurants more often.’

If not for some sort of food intolerance this bloating must somehow be the lone work of the overabundance of balsamic in her meal this afternoon, she had already noted that the lack of restraint with portions spread even into the salad.

‘After his guilt tripping today I’m sure that’ll be a fun conversation…’

Sally rolled her eyes as she thought.

It seems even the healthiest options in New Mobotropolis’s back water establishments were still somewhat rigged. Speaking of… she felt quite greasy, uncomfortably so.

'I'll take a quick bath before the food gets here.'

She planned, she would just be ordering another salad and she had grown very familiar and attached to the options at Uncle Chuck's at this point.

She called in.

"Uncle Chuck's, what can we get you?"

The robotic voice of Sonic's father Jules rang through Sally's pointed ear.

"Hey Jules! Just a large caesar salad please, to the castle obviously. "

"Sally? It's delivery? You know you can always stop by."

The robian offered warmly.

"Oh, um sorry. Think I'm spending the night in..."

She answered awkwardly, realizing she probably should have come up with an actual excuse to avoid looking rude to her boyfriend's father and family friend.

"Alright hon, well we won't have any trouble finding the address."

"Well I should hope not."

The chipmunk bantered back.

Sally took a quick glance down at herself, fixating on how her boobs were now peeking out farther than the distance where her chin was resting as her neck bent downward. Her breasts ends were nearly where her nose was now on the x axis.

‘Maybe I’m actually eating too many greens…’

She begrudgingly pondered to herself before realizing Mr.Hedgehog would be hanging up now and quickly blurting out-

“Sorry, actually could I get a tuna salad instead?”

She said far more awkwardly than she intended.

“Oh, sure hon. Expect it in fifteen, take care dear."”

Jules said, knowing her well enough to know the crack in her voice was a little unusual but thought nothing of it. He hung up.

About ten minutes later Jules approached the table seating his wife and son. After the near apocalypse of the metal virus and with another commercial-like few months without a looming threat his father had noticed Sonic spending a lot more time with the family. He would savour it, knowing said months were probably nearing their end.

"A large tuna salad for a…

He jokingly pretended to squint his artificial eyes at the order.

...Sally Acorn, figured you'd want to be a delivery boy again for this one."

Sonic smiled.

"Meh, I guess I could for old times sake. I'm surprised she didn't do take-out though."

"I told her we'd be happy to see her."

Jules cleared himself.

"She must be busy with royal affairs, so I should be back pretty quick."

He looked to his mother, whom he had just been in the middle of a conversation with. Before grabbing the paper bag containing the salad and speeding off out the door.

With his super speed Sonic ran straight up the castle walls and vaulted over the rail of the princess’s balcony.

He knocked on the glass doors with a smile.

Sally stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around her brick red hair. Her eyes widened at the sight of Sonic eagerly waiting for her to open the door as he often did.

‘Of course.’

She moaned

‘Why did I have to order from chucks?’

The princess mentally smacked herself.

“Long time no see princess”

The blue one greeted as she opened the door.

“Since when are you doing deliveries again?”

She asked, frowning.

“I’m not, just happened to be at unc’s when you ordered. Why, not happy to see me?”

He joked.

Sally struggled to find an excuse that Sonic wouldn’t immediately realize was a lie. The fact that she had just clearly gotten out of the bath meant she couldn’t pretend she was up to something urgent.

"I'm uh… actually not feeling well now."

She answered, figuring the classic would serve her best. She tried to rush him back out onto the balcony before they broke eye contact. Obviously out of everyone Sonic would be the first to notice any changes in her body, she needed him out asap.

"And I didn't want to get anybody sick, including you… so 'git!"

She took the bag and began pushing Sonic back out onto the balcony. Only for her to almost fall forward as he whipped around behind her in the blink of an eye.

"Aw don't sweat it Sal, it's kinda my job to be here for you."

He waved, guiding her by her shoulders back onto her sofa.

She groaned, there was nothing she could do now. Sonic was as stubborn as she was and the more she insisted he leave the more suspicious she'd look.

She sat her large salad bowl on her lap, hoping that would be enough cover her puffiness. Apparently the warm water had done nothing to soothe the bloating, she still felt her thin new airbags need to deflate on impact of the cushion.

Sonic took her feet in his hands, rubbing them thoroughly. Sally cringed as he advanced to her calves, worried he'd notice the extra softness.

"Anything else I can get you Sal? Ginger soda or something'?"

"Just some warm water."

She answered with a faint smile. Despite their bickering he was a great boyfriend when he wasn’t actively trying to annoy her, which made her feel guilty to lie to him… even over something so trivial.

Within a millisecond he was back with the mug and a tv tray.

"Do the folks know you're sick?"

He asked before rubbing her shoulders.

"No, whenever I'm sick daddy acts like I have something terminal. I don't need to waste Dr.Quacks time when I know it's just a cold or a flu."

She explained, pulling from truth to aid her lie. Sally's face then contorted into a crooked smile as she let out a satisfied sigh, Sonic’s massage had reached her scalp and temples while she enjoyed her salad. She was royalty, she could have people pamper her like this any time but she would feel bad abusing her status like that. If it was just Sonic however she didn't feel so bad…

'I should pretend to be sick more often.'

She thought to herself, the temporary guilt of her lie had faded when Sonic got a knot out of her back.

Sonic had brought a puke bucket and some acetaminophen over to Sally (although she said she had already taken some), before seating himself next to her as they briefly watched some cheesy romcom.

Sally had finished her dinner and he'd soon be offering to throw the garbage out for her, she devised a way to get Sonic to leave without having to remove the large paper bowl from her lap. She immediately pretended to doze off like she'd had hours ago, letting her head slump to her shoulder.

Sonic looked at the 'slumbering' princess. Something hadn't seemed right since he'd arrived, Sally was acting funny.

Regardless he still had an obligation to be a good partner. He took the garbage from out of her lap, to which Sally cursed under her breath. He went to pick her up but paused for a moment, something seemed a little different about Sally… her body? Yeah, her body seemed different somehow. Sonic’s brain was already running through the possibilities to explain the weird differences in Sally’s behaviour, if this was an imposter then that would explain the indiscernible difference in her body type. Sonic squinted to Sally’s discomfort, then he realized. The princess’ near anorexic build had filed out a little bit, less boney and softer around the edges.

‘Bloating maybe? Nah, it’s not the end of the month yet...’

Sonic found it hard to believe that Sally of all people could’ve put on a few.

But as he reached for her he confirmed that she was softer to the touch. He lifted her into his arms and noted she was the littlest bit heavier.

'Must've been why she didn't want me seeing her.'

He rolled his eyes, having thought something was actually wrong. Her putting on a few was karmic as far as he was concerned. Apparently she had struggled to notice it as well, otherwise their lunch date would have been in jeopardy earlier today.

Sonic chuckled, maybe she did already know then…

‘Maybe she was projecting.”

The hedgehog sniggered.

It would make sense given she had spent the past few months with little exercise in recovery.

Sally continued cursing internally as Sonic brought her to her bed, laying her down and planting a kiss on her cheek. He paused for a moment, Sally didn’t quite have her usual flowery scent. Definitely still smelled nice though… kind of like… chili???

‘No way.’

He thought to himself. An intense hunger pain interrupted his confusion. His stomach had not calmed down over the evening, despite the fact that he ran back to his family's restaurant to pick himself up some chilidogs and let his mother know that he would be taking care of Sally the rest of the evening. It still felt as though he’d eaten next to nothing today. Sonic did notice the taste of tuna was stronger in his mouth than it ought to have been from just the single bite his girlfriend let him have. He looked to the ring, still planted on Sally’s petite (by mobian standards) finger. He then looked to his own. He developed a theory, it was kind of ridiculous but Sonic had encountered stranger things of a similar nature. He took off back to his house. Currently unoccupied, he could pull a bunch of the Hedgehog’s snack foods from their cupboard without further questions from his parents. He rushed back up through the balcony doors, with almost more junk food than he could carry. Sonic knew the proposition would sound ridiculous and he would likely end up hurting Sally’s feelings by pointing out her slight gain if he were wrong (which would not quite be funny enough to die over). Though, on second thought… No, he would still have to test this without her permission.

Luckily for him whilst pretending to sleep Sally had actually slipped off for real in her continued lethargy.

Sonic took out a package of chocolate chip cookies and scarfed the thirty-plus sugary treats down, he noted that the emptiness of his stomach still felt not even the slightest bit better. There seemed to be no effect on the princess so he continued his little experiment. Sonic opened a container of leftover pizza he'd had in the fridge and plowed through the five slices. Sonic continued through more of the foods he had happened to have quick access to. After gobbling down a couple hot pockets and a few slices of cheesecake Sally’s middle seemed to be jutting out more than it had when he'd first laid her down. He pressed his hand against his resting girlfriend's tummy. His hand sunk only the slighted bit before pressing against a buoyant, stuffed stomach. Sonic's eyes were now glued to the princess's middle. Further inspecting he quickly wolfed down more of his pile, with each pretzel, sponge cake and chip bag he watched in amazement as her stomach would suddenly press outward more and more. It continued reaching out farther and farther from her pelvis. Sonic stopped, satisfied and astonished. He had definitely packed her more than he needed to but he had to make sure he wasn't just imagining things. Sally's tummy looked like someone had inflated it with a pump. Sonic took his own ring off and looked at what remained of his mountains of snacks. He quickly shovelled them down his throat and by the time he was through it all it had felt like he'd actually eaten something.

"Oooho, finallyyyy."

He moaned in relief. It hadn't been his usual portion size but it felt good to have something in his stomach, that plus the tuna salad Sally had apparently eaten for him was at least enough to quell the aching.

"So the rings swap our stomachs."

Sonic pondered in a whisper.

'And apparently our metabolisms too. If Sally could take in all the food I ate today and still be hungry enough for dinner she must've digested it as fast as I would’ve, which explains where the extra padding came from.'

The hedgehog deduced.

'I could probably burn all that off for her and I wouldn't have to feel bad about feeding her junk food, a straight twenty minutes of just running past the sound barrier would be more than overkill.-

-but…”

He grinned mischievously.

“If it can be fixed so easily, might as well have some fun with it first.'

He loomed over the slumbering chipmunk in the moonlight, placing his hand on her belly. It felt like an overinflated basketball.

“Let's see how quick she is to laugh when it's her with the 'potbelly'.”

He snickered, putting his ring back on so Sally's body would take the calories more efficiently. He noticed her brows were cringed as she slept, she was likely uncomfortable with her stomach so tight. He grazed his hand smoothly across her underbelly, caressing it to relieve some of the pressure. He had to rub gently so as to not wake her, but after a solid minute he noticed she was sleeping more peacefully.

Adorable little hiccups began escaping her, Sonic smiled warmly down at her before closing the balcony doors behind him. He would be making sure to have a late night snack tonight.

___

Sunlight peeked through the princess' thin blinds and rested on her beautiful face. She slowly came to, tossing her forearm over her face to give her eyes some shade. When she became conscious enough she flopped her arm back onto the mattress, revealing her annoyed expression. She couldn't believe she had accidentally fallen asleep twice, she had practically lost half her day yesterday. The only solace was that hopefully her bloating had gone down. She sat herself up but was immediately stopped by a strange discomfort in her middle.

Her heart sank and her eyes widened as she looked down, her stomach was scrunching. One hand slapped over her mouth as she gasped, the other poking her new slight underbelly, it bulged out with fat compressed from the folding of her abdomen. With the way it curved back down into her abdominal wall just above her crotch it wouldn't be unfair to say it looked like the beginnings of a roll. She began tracing fingers through this surreal new shallow fold… it looked like a crack in her middle. Evidently this new discomfort was the sensation of her body rubbing against itself. Springing upright evenly redistributed this alien fat through her center, killing the fold… yet it came right back each time she manically hunched back over.

She leaped out of her bed and sprinted to her bathroom mirror, confirming her fears. Yesterday's bloating looked as though it had doubled. Well, it was obvious now that it wasn't bloating…

"I'm getting fatter."

She said faintly in disbelief, leaning over the sink as her big blue eyes stared into her reflection.

Her stomach now had a slight outward arc and sucking in only gave more prominence to that little underbelly. It required more effort for her fingertips to reach the stiffness of a rib, any sense of muscle definition had been lost completely as her thighs and upper arms were now noticeably swollen. Her collarbones were still visible between her broadened shoulders but just barely and only closest to where they met. Her upper arms looked thicker as well with a layer of creamy 'unsculpted muscle' covering her triceps. The itchy panic-inducing feeling of folding plagued her sides as she bent from left to right as her now pronounced love handles squished up against the puffiness arcing over her rib/sternum line and the bottoms of her armpits. Her almost nonexistent chest had blown up like water balloons, going up a cup size at the very least. Each breast had expanded into teardrop-esque shapes. She could even feel the tip of her tail poking out atop a higher spot on her back than usual, she swiveled around to confirm her inflated butt cheeks had sent it upward to a different angle. The inward dent of her glutes had been filled in and forgotten as well, the result of countless workouts gone just like that. She didn't seem to be overweight, however she was now at the high edge of the average weight range… a day ago she was dangerously close to underweight. In silence… Unable to process what had happened to her she hopped her now athletically thick body slightly in the air, with less jiggling than she would've expected aside from her bust. The cellulite clung as densely as it could to the muscle it now surrounded, she at least wasn't flabby. She looked and felt like a girl who had the respectable workout regime that she did, if just kept eating one too many cupcakes. That realization had understandably done little to calm the poor girl down; however. She needed a scale. Hunched over she began ravaging through the drawers of her bathroom, cringing at both the continuous scrunching of her stomach and how far she could feel her derriere sticking out behind her. Every towel, razor and shampoo bottle had been knocked over before she focused back in and smacked herself harder than she'd intended. The scale was behind the toilet.

She stepped on it, dreading the result. The digital numbers read.

'141 mlb'

Twenty seven pounds. Twenty seven mobian pounds higher than what she weighed last time she had checked.. and presumably what she had weighed less than twenty four hours ago. It was obvious what was causing this, it was the only possible explanation. She chastised herself for chalking it up to mere bloating before.

Sally gripped the ring on her right pinky with her left hand, expecting it to slide off seamlessly. Instead it instantly snagged against the flesh on her finger above.

"You've got to be kidding me…"

She huffed under her breath, apparently even her fingers were thicker now than when they were when she had first dawned this stupid golden band.

She yanked as hard as she could, ignoring the pain but the ring only dug more and more into the meat on her finger. If she pulled any more she'd suffer a dislocation or even fillet her poor digit.

She realized she needed to either call for help or leave her living quarters looking like this to search for some lubricant and pliers herself.

She immediately began debating between reaching Bunnie or Nicole. Then she realized-

"Sonic!"

He was wearing the same ring, she chastised herself for not immediately worrying for his well being. He could be suffering the same effect, his 'fast metabolism' would likely not protect him from apparently magic carbs. She had to get a hold of him first, this was her fault after all.

_______

Sonic laid back against his bed, relaxed and reading a comic book.

His ear perked at the sound of his communicator beeping.

*Bpp bpp bpp!*

He took a wild guess who was calling and why.

"Sonic, the rings!"

Sally's panicked voice shouted.

"What about 'em?"

He feigned ignorance, his voice sounded completely innocent.

"I-I… what do you mean what about them!?"

The princess sounded completely baffled.

"Take yours off, come over."

She ordered, he noticed her voice was shaky.

"On my way."

He responded.

Within a minute Sonic paced through the already open doors of her balcony.

"Sal?"

He asked, peeking in, ready to take a look at his own handiwork. Sally was leaning against the back of her couch frowning.

She gestured to herself as if to say 'well..?'

She didn't want Sonic to see her like this, but with the chance that he too may have been affected she had to bare it. False alarm though, he seemed the exact same.

Sally however looked, if Sonic had to describe it: broader.

"Huh."

"Yeah, huh!"

The princess panicked. She winced as Sonic poked her middle.

"I thought the same thing was happening to you!"

The princess threw her arms out.

"Huh? Oh nah, I already figured these out."

He held his ring out in the palm of his hand.

"Come again?"

Sally cocked an eyebrow, why was he being so nonchalant?

"Yeah it's weird, when we're both wearing them it's like we switch guts. If I eat something it ends up in your stomach and you digest it quick, like if you had my stomach. I was starving yesterday and I couldn't figure out why."

He chuckled.

'Well, at least that means I won't be getting any bigger…'

She thought.

...She thought.

She had hoped merely taking the ring off would reverse her gain but that seemed pretty unlikely now.

"Okay. So you just have to put the ring back on and not eat anything for a couple days, with your metabolism this should melt off me."

She planned, calming down somewhat as she rubbed her temples.

"Oh, yeah! I was just going to run around a bunch and see if that worked."

"We can try that too!"

She smiled awkwardly.

Sonic’s already unusually coy expression deeppend. He leaned in to Sally's surprise, his nose touching hers. He smiled.

"On one condition."

"What!?"

She was taken back by that.

"We have a proper date at Uncle Chuck's. No healthy options, you're going to actually try the juicy stuff. The stuff people actually come for."

He said as authoritatively as he was physically capable of.

Sally's brows were pressed against each other and her mouth was agape.

"You're gonna finally experience the fun of pigging out a little, no reason not to now. Calories aren't a sweat anymore if we can just put these on and I can take them off for you."

He crossed his arms, still grinning.

"Are you serious!?"

She asked at a rather high volume, partially due to laughter… partially due to legitimate rage.

"Well if not, I could just keep my ring on twenty four seven. I'm guessing you can't get yours off or you'd've done it already…

He pointed to her thickened digit.

...so maybe you could see what it's like to really be chunky since you thought it was hi-larious with me."

He crossed his arms in victory.

Sally couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Sonic, you literally can't get away with this. Do you really want to have to explain to our families and our friends what you're doing? They're already going to notice, look at me!"

Sonic's smile deepened, making Sally even more uncomfortable. It was clear to the princess that he knew something she didn't.

"Hey. You, me and a large basket full of chilidogs… that's all it'll take to stop this."

He declared smugly before flipping off the balcony.

Sally ran to the guard rail.

"I'll dump you!"

Sonic merely laughed as he took off below.

Sally frowned, he'd called her bluff. Fine, two could play it that way.

She tossed on her sky blue boots and vest, both were squeezing her now. Her top was cutting off circulation from her armpits to her triceps as the jacket's arm holes were shaped to suit a thin woman. Sally’s boots had one problem spot as well, the band squeezed the upper calves and the bottom of her thighs… no discomfort anywhere else yet. Wanting as few people as she knew to see her, Sally took the same path to ground level as Sonic did. She jumped off the balcony and did a parkour roll as she landed on the cobblestone trails of New Mobotropolis. She noted the minor discomfort she would usually feel in her back and shoulder when landing from such a height had disappeared thanks to the extra cushion, though she had plummeted a little harder than she was accustomed to with the extra weight. Her knees had taken a bit of strain from the start of her landing, it was a further reminder that if Sonic wasn't just pulling her leg such feats would soon become impossible to her. The princess' eyes darted about as she power walked through the crisp morning air. She kept tugging her vest forward in the hopes of covering herself a little, though there was more of her to cover now and the piece was revealing to begin with. She found herself surprised at the lack of reactions from the citizens she passed. She was expecting some pointing and whispering amongst onlookers or at worst pictures being taken but she saw nothing of the sort.

'Maybe it isn't as noticeable as I thought.'

She hoped, continuing her quick strut.

Luckily she didn't bump into anyone she knew on her way down to the Hedgehog's house.

She knocked on the door and was met by Bernadette.

"Morning princess! What's up?"

She smiled, friendly as ever.

"Oh, just wanted to talk to you and Sonic about something."

She smirked.

She further opened the door, welcoming her inside.

"Maurice! I think you're in trouble!"

Bernadette called, her smile having deepened.

"Doubt it!"

He responded, stepping out of his room looking even more cocky than usual.

"No, you are."

Sally threatened with her arms crossed.

"What did he do?"

Bernie asked, her tone belied a healthy mixture of amusement and annoyance.

What else was she to feel watching her son and his long time girlfriend squabble in their twenties the exact same way they had when they were five. You'd think after all the trauma they'd suffered together over the years they'd be more understanding with one another, more mature. Nope.

"Notice anything different about me?"

The princess gestured to herself.

Bernie just stared at her with a blank expression.

"It's okay, you're not going to hurt my feelings."

She assured, but still Bernadette said nothing.

"...You're going to have to help me here honey."

The elder hedgehog frowned.

Sally laughed awkwardly again.

"No really, it's fine!"

The chipmunk reassured, tossing her hands up.

Bernadette merely shrugged.

'Is it seriously not that noticeable!?'

Sally had to ask herself. She was flabbergasted.

'It's almost thirty pounds!'

She continued internally.

"He was already asking me if you looked funny in his pictures of you, but I have no idea what you two are seeing."

She admitted. Sally: now pretty confused herself, swiveled her head back to Sonic.

"Well Sal… want to explain it to her?"

Sally huffed. If her growth somehow wasn't noticeable to anyone else then she would simply have to wait until it became… more noticeable.

"Or do you agree to my terms?"

He pressed coyly.

Bernie stood up wandering off to the living room.

"Alright I'm tapping out, you two are beyond me. Maurice, whatever you're doing stop it."

"Wanna try someone else?"

He leaned against the wall in a b-boy pose, clearly happy with himself.

"Bunnie will notice."

Sally threatened.

"Bunnie would think it's as funny as I do."

She folded, that was probably true.

"Fine Sonic, keep it going! Make it bad enough so that she'll notice."

Sally pointed to the rug room.

Sonic placed his head in his hand.

"This isn't the stalemate you think it is."

He cooed ominously.

"So, unc's at six?"

He offered.

"Ugh!"

Sally turned out the door.

"Taking that as a no!"

He called down the road.

___

Sally had arrived back in her room, she'd been lucky enough that only some guards had seen her. Not her parents, not her brother. She sat back on her couch pouting, further annoyed by the reappearance of the scrunching sensation. Days like today when her schedule wasn't booked up and there was no disaster to attend to were usually made busy through exercising and training.

"I guess there's no point in doing it now."

She realized as she growled.

She watched TV simply waiting to feel herself get fatter so she could go show everyone to tell on Sonic. While she knew Bunnie and Amy would be no help Antoine, Tails and Rotor would come to her aid since Sonic’s folks would be spending the rest of their day at the restaurant. She didn’t want to stroll into a densely crowded space looking like a whale. However, the mere folding of her middle and molding of her rear was doing nothing but making the squirming and sighing princess restless. The feeling of butterflies wouldn't go away, how could they with her impending doom? Maybe she didn't have to wait, maybe she didn't have to give Sonic the privilege of seeing her with a full spare tire. She knew other speedsters and other mobians with abilities that could possibly reverse Sally's expansion if given the ring. Maybe if she could get Sonic's ring out of his hands she could fix this without his blessing.

Sally quickly tossed a blanket over herself before calling-

"Nicole!"

Suddenly a green frame appeared before the princess and a dark brown lynx girl materialized onto it.

"Mhm?"

She smiled.

"I need you to do me a favor, can you keep an eye on Sonic?"

Nicole looked concerned.

"Oh, is something wrong?"

"He's just messing with me, he has a little ring that he knows I need. If he leaves it vulnerable let me know."

"Oookay?"

She cocked an eyebrow but she was smiling again.

"Don't ask."

Sally frowned, knowing Nicole was going to want more context.

"Okay."

Nicole didn’t press, she simply gave a thumbs up before dispersing into green pixels. Her consciousness returned to monitoring the kingdom.

Sally sighed as she tossed the blanket off, if she were to go with her plan B where she didn't have to humiliate herself to get Sonic yelled at then she was going to need to go back out at some point to take it from him. The longer this went on the more likely she was to be seen, and she still had to worry about getting bigger.

Sally browsed her wardrobe, frowning as it was only now she wished she covered up more frequently. If Bernadette genuinely hadn't noticed her new softness while it was all out there then maybe she could effectively hide it from everyone with the right clothing.

Unfortunately nearly her entire selection was comprised of similar blue vests and combat boots, aside from pajamas and nice 'princesses-y' dresses for special occasions. It was also now that she wished she had been more fashionable in general, more patterned or stylish clothes could help distract from this excess weight yet all she had was plain and practical. She didn't need to hide her body when she was hot and her natural beauty meant no fancy accessories were required to add to it. Her dark red locks, sad blue eyes and most importantly her toned body compensated for her complete lack of fashion sense.

'Ugh.'

She held her head, she needed to calm down a little. She was acting as if she would never be her old size again when in the worst case scenario, Sonic would just thin her back down whenever he stopped getting amusement out of this… which would be after maybe a few weeks...

Sally shut her dresser doors with a huff. Any of those clothes were going to be a little snug on her as she was already, and she was likely going to graduate from a medium to a large within the afternoon anyway if her other half had anything to say about it. Sally couldn’t feel it but she was sure hundreds of calories were already being pumped into her as she sat about here, being converted to fat at super speed.

The princess laid out her yoga mat, she could at least maintain her flexibility without having to worry about her boyfriend undoing her hard work.

She descended into splits, exhaling as she tried to relax a little.

"Sally-girl!"

A raspy, high-pitched southern accent called to her from behind her bedroom door. Sally's calm was instantly destroyed, she didn't want anymore people seeing her like this than was necessary and Bunnie was most likely to pick up on her expansion after Sonic. Instantly, before Sally could make it to her blanket a blonde rabbit simply strolled in towing some chicken noodle soup.

"Hi… Bunnie."

The princess greeted her best friend in an uncharacteristically awkward tone of voice.

"Hey hon, Sonic told me you were sick. Figured I could whip you up some broth."

'Of course he did…'

She muttered under her breath.

"Oh, you didn't have to Bun."

She smiled, taking the bowl and holding it up to her midriff.

"Yeah.. but 'ah never get to cook anything fer you, also 'ah just wanted to see how you were. You doin' yoga?"

She asked, slightly confused.

"Oh yeah, thought maybe it'd help me feel better. Didn't work."

Sally responded, reaching for the blanket on the sofa. Bunnie cocked an eyebrow at the strange uncertainty in Sally's answer. She knew her best friend and very rarely if ever did she come off as anything but confident, it was especially odd given that it was such a simple question.

Bunnie frowned.

"Sally-girl... yer not really sick, are you?"

"I-

Sally cut herself off, realizing how foolish it would be to try to continue to lie.

no…"

Maybe she would be going with plan A after all... Sally sat the soup down, revealing more of her middle.

"Obviously you can tell right?"

Sally waved hands to herself.

"Uhm…

The southern belle wiggled her index finger in front of her mouth.

Sally's mouth dropped and her eyes widened, Bunnie seriously looked confused.

"Bunnie!?"

Sally cried, completely offended.

"Wut!?"

The rabbit shouted defensively and in utter confusion. She put her hand to her head.

"Did you guys just always think I was fat!?"

Sally threw her hands out.

Bunnie paused, looking Sally over and trying to think of what exactly she was supposed to say.

"Sally girl, you know 'ah would be the first to tell you if you were putting on a few. But you look the exact same t'uh me."

Bunnie mustered as sincere a look as she could as she placed a hand on the chipmunks shoulder. Sally squinted, then her eyes widened again.

"Bunnie, you're actually serious aren't you?"

"Sheesh hon, what'd you go up by? Two pounds?"

Bunnie joked.

"I think you need your eyes checked. "

Sally responded bitterly.

"Well erm, Sally… maybe it's that yer just now noticing but you've always been a little bit broader than Amy and 'ah."

"What!? No I wasn't!? I was the skinniest!"

She yelled in utter shock at what was coming out of her best friend's mouth.

"Sal…"

Mrs.D'coolette merely smirked.

"You're helping Sonic aren't you?"

Sally accused as she leant in.

"I promise I'll eat your soup if you stop playing along."

Sally's voice sounded almost unhinged, Bunnie had seemed genuine but there was no possible explanation she of all people could have believed what she was saying.

Bunnie threw her hands up defensively.

"Sally-girl... yer freaking me out now."

"I was the maid of honour at your wedding! You know my dress size!"

"Yeah, you're a ten?"

Bunnie answered, now concerned for Sally’s mental health.

"I'm a two! I-

Sally was about to shout, insulted again before she paused… her expression went blank.

"Wait… Nicole!"

The holo-Lynx reappeared.

"Aren't I supposed to be spying on Sonic?"

Nicole chuckled (unlike Knuckles).

"What are y'all spying on sugah-hog for!?"

Bunnie asked.

"What was my weight the last time I had you run diagnostics on me?"

Sally questioned, completely ignoring Bunnie's own confusion for the moment.

“...”

"One hundred forty five pounds."

She replied nonchalantly.

"I'm gonna kill him."

Sally rubbed her temples.

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is-mlm-real · 2 years

Text

The "science" behind Healy, a lesser talked about MLM

Hey everyone, I found a new MLM appearing on our version of craigslist. Because it’s not mentioned in the MLM list I thought I would do a writeup as I already looked into it. So today I will talk about healy. I started this write up months ago but didn’t have the time and energy to finish it. Because someone asked about this MLM earlier this day I decided to at least finish what I already got. So if prices are off, it’s because they’re a few months old.

Disclaimer:

This one is a “science” and “medical” MLM and because I’m into these fields it spiked my personal interest to see what they’re up to. So this writeup might be a little different than the usual. I’m going to look into their “science” and their wording as both are in their way really interesting to me. Everything I cite is taken directly from the company’s official website, no hun or third party involved. I solely used their English text. From the other languages I can read the content is exactly the same in every language but because in English most words have many different meanings their wording technique works especially well in English. Whenever I use “...” it’s something I put in quotation marks because I can’t take the real meaning of the word, >…< marks citations directly taken from their pages.

TL;DR: It’s an MLM providing frequency related supplies in form of programs:

A tool with an app to control it with programs named >Gold Circle<, >Chakras< or >Deep Cycle H< using >Individualized Microcurrent Frequency<

A nutrition app providing >Digital Nutrition< with >Individualized Microcurrent Frequency< (basically they claim the app analyses the frequency of individual vitamins and minerals for the harmonization of [the] Bioenergetic Field)

A kit for pets, a watch and several advice and coaching app programs

Their business model is the same as other MLMs, having independent promoters/consultants with their own referral numbers. Since it’s the same stuff as always I won’t go more into their business model.

And yes, it’s all quack.

Cheapest tool (if you ask me, they’re all the same machine) goes for 496.23€, the most expensive one costs 3,966.27€.

Of course the app programs cost extra and are a subscription service (cheapest is 9.52€/month going up to 34.51€/month and of course you can buy extra app modules with the most expensive one being 455.77€).

The pet stuff goes on top of everything and costs “only” 58.31€ for 2 flat sponges (yes, the ones you use in your kitchen and cost maybe 2€ for 5 big ones while these are only 5x5cm), 3 bands to strap the device on your pet and 2 conductive silicone pads.

TL;DR over. If you’re interested in my thoughts about their “science” and their wording techniques within the “we can’t be made responsible for what people read” field, you’re welcome to follow me down the rabbit hole of electromagnetic frequencies, legal misinformation and manipulation.

As you most likely already assumed by the company’s name, they promote not only wellness stuff but “medical” devices and therapies. Because providing medical therapies without any license and selling any kind of medical devices that are meant to interact with the body without a special permit aren’t allowed and heavily fined, they’re adding disclaimers at the end of their pages that their programs >are not medical applications< and their whole talk about how their products work wonders are >for reference and educational purposes only<.

What educational purposes you ask? Well, it’s fake biology mixed with fake medicine just sprinkled with enough real facts and pictures of laboratories, cells and smart looking people that it sounds believable for anyone who got a bad education or forgot most of their school knowledge. I don’t blame people for it because unlike me not everyone is into how cell activation works or how our body produces energy. There’s even a section called >about the science behind the Healy< where they explain how cells “work” and are “built” in a reeaaly simplified way. In fact so much simplified that it’s dangerous in my opinion. Especially since they start out at kindergarten speak “many cells much wow” and then suddenly throw around words like ATP, Golgi apparatus and cell membrane. None of it is exactly wrong, because it’s all so simplified it’s so vague that they don’t say anything wrong (fewer words mean less chances to say factually wrong things, right?) until their last point where they claim that our cells can open and close via >a kind of magnetically controlled valve mechanism<. That’s just wrong.

Everyone who’s not interested in why can skip to the next paragraph :)

I try to be as basic as possible so everyone can follow, so please excuse if I miss out details. I’m also not a native speaker so feel free to correct me when I’m wrong. Our cell membrane is like a wall around our cells. There are several “doors” that can be opened in certain cases. One case they’re referring to is an imbalance in potential. You can think about it like osmosis but with ions (electric “charged particles”, they can be positive or negative). Our cells don’t like a huge difference between inside the cell and outside the cell. So if you have 5 positive and 2 negative on one side and 3 negative and 1 positive on the other side, the membrane will open a door, letting out some positive and letting in some negative to even everything out. Again, this is also oversimplified. Just keep in mind this door opening happens because there is a difference between inside and outside.

What has a magnetic valve to do with it? Well, nothing. Magnetic valves come on two versions: always open and always closed. Always open means: If you don’t activate the magnet inside the valve by supplying electricity, the door is always open no matter what’s on each side of the valve. Always closed works the other way: The magnet keeps it closed until you supply electricity which causes the valve (door) to open. Again, not caring what’s on each side.

What do both have in common that they make this jump? Honestly, I can only guess that they tried to find a way to make their quack sound plausible. From what they’re writing their argumentation goes: electric potential difference -> renaming it to voltage, something most people have heard somewhere -> adding the word valve as a technical term -> valve + voltage = magnetic valve (?).

And because it’s so purposefully misleading while all is needed to be on the “legal” side of law is a small disclaimer most people won’t notice/read, it’s making me really angry. They’re extremely good at avoiding any substantial claims one could sue them for all while bringing their message across. They must’ve paid good money on copywriting and lawyers.

Another loophole they use is going into animal therapy as this field isn’t as heavily regulated as human medicine. And if it happens that you use the clearly meant for animal devices for yourself, it’s not their fault (we all know it is their fault). Just thinking that someone would put a stupid sticker on their sick pet instead of going to the vet – just no.

In their “science” section they name two men, who are coincidentally already dead, and call them the men who >laid the foundation to [healy’s] work<. One of them was a professor so they must be good and everything here legitimate, right? So let’s look into them:

Prof. Robert O. Becker (1923 – 2008) worked at the Upstate Medical Center in State University of New York, Syracuse. Sounds nice, doesn’t it. So, what is he famous for? He was an orthopaedic surgeon researching in treating difficult bone fractures. Back in the ‘60s he also researched how electricity might provide benefits in fasten the regrowth of bone. But that’s not what this company cites him for. To make it short: None of his non-bone related theories and treatments made it into practice and up to this day there is no evidence that they might provide any benefit. But hey, he researched electric potentials in organs and how they might help to regrow extremities in humans. He made a test with one male rat, but the small guy never got his leg back. (For anyone interested, here’s the paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1806700/) He was also one of the first big voices against power lines and claimed these might be harmful for humans.

Björn Nordenström (1919-2006) was a Swedish radiologist with specialising in cancer treatment. Interestingly nearly all sources I could find about him were from “alternative medicine” – or to call it by its name quack medicine – providers. His relationship with electricity and medicine is based on him seeing artifacts in x-rays made in the ‘60s and deciding they’re coronas emitted by cancer cells. Yes, he started his trip into electricity at the same time as Becker. Nordenstöm’s ideas are mostly based on a book from the late 19th century and can be summarised as: Use electricity and nothing else to heal cancer. We’re not talking about using enough electricity to burn the cancer away, but low frequencies that will stimulate the cancer cells to just decide to die. Spoiler: It didn’t work.

Their “researcher” is Nuno Nina, a guy with no medical degree – or any degree I could find – and mostly famous for his “CellPower Water” and other frequency quack. All clinics or institutions mentioning him are his own, founded by himself. That’s not what I would call a reputable background.

What they did here is kind of smart. They chose two guys who have a real reputation in a different medical field and a quack side interest so at first sight the quack part looks like legitimate science. And for the third guy they created a reputation with money. Especially finding unbiased stuff about Nordenstörm, he’s framed as the misunderstood genius the other scientists didn’t want to believe out of spite, was kind of difficult and I already put in more time than the average person would.

Also note how they refrain from stating a direct connection between their devices and Becker and Nordenström. We don’t want any remaining family members suing, don’t we.

There is definitely much more to say about all of it, but I don’t know how much anyone else will be interested in any details. So feel free to add any further information or correct me if I said something wrong or misleading. Cheers o/

#Healyworld

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brainyxbat · 3 months

Text

Chapter 8: Time to Fight Back! Usopp's Quick Thinking, and Fire Star!

(episode 76)

"We made it! Ah! So that's the second island in the Grand Line; Little Garden!"

"W-what's with this island?!"

"Collier Shoot!"

"L-Little Garden?! W-what's so little about this island?!"

"This is an island of ancient times. It's stuck in the age of the dinosaurs!"

"The duel has continued for 100 years now. I've forgotten the reason for it; but that doesn't matter, anyway."

"Then why?!"

"Pride!"

"Man, he's huge..."

"This is Elbaf, the God of War's... judgement! I didn't have his divine protection."

"Who is it?! Come out! You guys spoiled the old giant guys' duel! I'm gonna beat you up!"

"It's no use! Your friends are going to become my works of art!"

"Venus!"

"Luffy!"

"Ahh. Such nice tea."

"He was hit with the Tranquil Green!"

"Such... nice... tea."

"Luffy! What are you doing, you idiot?!" Usopp then spotted the green mark on his vest, and began to sneak up on him.

However, Mr. 5 saw him. "It's over for all of you." He took out his revolver. "This is my ultimate ability!"

"Special Attack: Exploding Star!" Usopp launched a bullet at him, and leaped in the air with Karoo, dodging his gunshots. His bullet hit the target: Luffy!

Ms. Golden Week jumped back when his vest burst into flames, and Ms. Valentine floated up in the air. "What an idiot! He missed his target, and hit his own friend!"

Usopp looked behind his back after Karoo landed. "Where'd his bullets go?!"

"Breeze Breath Bomb!"

Out of nowhere, an explosion erupted, sending Usopp and Karoo tumbling away. "Usopp-kun!" Venus' eye widened.

"I forgot to mention it, but my breath explodes."

Usopp landed with Karoo by the wax cake. "Dammit! This is insane! He had no bullets?! Karoo! You alright?!" He turned to the captain after Karoo quacked weakly. "Hey! You come to your senses?!"

"Y-yeah," Luffy regained his footing, now missing his vest, "I'm awake! Thanks!"

Ms. Valentine glared. "That attack was meant to burn his clothes, and the Trap on it, to undo the manipulation!"

Luffy panted in anger. "I've had enough of that paint! I refuse to let anyone else die! Now I'm mad!"

Meanwhile...

"It's definitely weird," An oblivious Sanji remarked in confusion, now back on the Going Merry, "Damn weird. Why hasn't anyone come back after all this time?" He had his larger catch on the shore close by. "Something must've happened to Nami-san, Venus-chan, Vivi-chan, and the rest. In which case, this is no time to be getting ready to cook a lizard!"

Using his catch as leverage, he leaped down in the jungle, and "persuaded" a saber-toothed tiger to give him a ride. "Nami-san! Venus-chan! Vivi-chan! Hey! Say something! I love you!" He stopped, and jumped down upon noticing a strange, cube-shaped structure. "What's this?"

Mr. 3 laughed evilly. "So what if you're mad? Just look at your friends now!"

"So what?! They're still alive!"

"Are they now? All they need now is some of Ms. Golden Week's paint, and they'll be exceptional wax figures!" Usopp was silent with fury. "You're too late, Straw Hat!" A tree collapsed nearby. "That's correct! You're not only late, but now you can experience even more despair!" More trees suffered the brunt of his next attack. "Move out!" Venus gaped in awe from the ground, as the wax formed a giant, robot-like battle suit. "Candle... Champion!"

Usopp and Karoo screamed in terror. "What's that?" Luffy asked.

"It's said he once took down a 42 million berry bounty with this," Mr. 5 replied.

"It's Mr. 3's ultimate artistic talent," Ms. Valentine added.

"Now, Ms. Golden Week! Perform an artistic paint job on me!"

"Can I take a break after that?"

"Yes, of course! I'd actually prefer you to stay out of this!" She nodded with a small smile. "Like this, I am invincible! This armor is hard as iron, and wrapped around me like velvet! My form now... has no flaws!"

Everyone stared on in silence, before Luffy brightened up. "S-so cool!"

"This is no time to be admiring him!" Usopp shouted.

"Fight!" Venus urged.

While Ms. Golden Week painted, Luffy prepared to attack. "Alright! Gum-Gum..." He reeled his fist into the jungle.

"Paint job complete!"

"Now, then!"

"Pistol!" His fist bounced off of the wax mech.

"Champ Fight! Harvest Field!" He spun the arms ferociously, the boxing gloves digging into the ground, as Luffy leaped away.

"Gum-Gum... Stamp!" He was ejected yet again.

"It's no use!"

"Not good!" Usopp frowned. "The guy's so solid, his attacks don't work!" Luffy landed on the cake by his decapacitated friends, then jumped off. Usopp and Karoo covered their mouths when the rain started falling on them. "Damn! The wax haze!"

"Don't turn into statues!" Venus exclaimed fearfully.

He stared at the white material on his hands. "Wax?" He turned to the spinning top; more specifically, the flaming candles. Flame? Of course! "Yeah! Why didn't I realize it?! The fact it turns into a mist means it can melt!" He turned to the captain, and the witch. "Luffy, Venus! Fire melts this guy's wax! No matter how hard it is, wax is still wax!"

"Yeah!" Venus perked up.

"Zoro, and all the others hardened only moments ago! We can save them!" Karoo quacked.

"What?! For real?!" He beamed.

"Yeah, for real," Ms. Golden Week confirmed.

Mr. 3 gaped in shock. "Don't admit that to them!"

"Too late!" Venus mocked.

"But even if you realize that now, you have neither time, or a chance of winning! 30 more seconds at most! After that, their hearts will completely stop! As we speak, they're probably writhing in pain with what little consciousness they have left, as they experience the terror of dying!"

Karoo pushed Usopp up on his feet. "We don't need 30 seconds! I'll save them now! Special Attack: Fire-"

"Breeze Breath Bomb!" Mr. 5 shot at him again, this time with a direct hit!"

"Usopp!" Luffy screamed.

"Usopp-kun!" Venus cried.

His slingshot was dropped, as he fell on his back. "Did you not hear him say you had no chance of winning?"

"Dammit!" Luffy cursed. "There's no time!"

Mr. 3 then appeared behind him. "Give it up!" Before Luffy could do anything, he was punched into the ground.

Usopp crawled over to Karoo, now with a rope on hand. "Listen, take this rope-"

"Oh?" Ms. Valentine floated over, interrupting him. "This looks like fun! Whatcha planning? Can I join in, too?"

Usopp was fearfully quiet for a few seconds. "Karoo! Run!" He loudly whispered, before finally shouting. "Run! Just run around the candlesticks!" Karoo quickly began doing as told.

Mr. 5 readied his revolver again. "Everything you try is pointless!"

"Pardon me." Ms. Valentine sat on Usopp's back. "Crescendo Stone! How many kilograms can you ensure, I wonder..." Karoo dodged the bullets, as he ran. "10 kilograms... 100 kilograms..." Usopp grunted in discomfort when her weight increased. "200 kilograms..." His eyes were wide, as he felt his lungs being compressed. "300 kilograms..." She was oblivious to Venus sneaking towards her ominously, dragging her heavy mallet restraint.

"Damn nimble bird!" Mr. 5 complained when he couldn't shoot Karoo.

Mr. 3 started punching at Luffy again. "Give it up! Give it up! They've become my works of art!"

"I don't think so!" Luffy leaped into the air. "I won't let you have their lives!" He grabbed his topknot, and made a beeline for the cake. "If fire can melt them, then I'll use this fire!"

"Don't pull! Stop!"

"Luffy!" Usopp protested, as Venus inched closer. He didn't see her either. "That small flame won't do it fast enough! Light Karoo's rope on fire!"

"The bird's rope?!" By now, Karoo had the rope wrapped all around the cake.

Usopp poured some kerosene on his end. "It's a special rope, soaked in oil!"

"Okay! Everyone! Wake up!"

"Hey! Wait! Stop!"

"It'll be a little hot, but endure it." Closer.

"Stop!" With one single touch, the whole structure erupted in flames. "Oww!" Mr. 3 struggled. "Hot! Hot!"

"What a big fire!" Luffy exclaimed. "Are they gonna be alright?!"

"Curse you... curse you, Straw Hat! How dare you destroy my Candle Service Set! You'll pay for this!"

Luffy turned around to find Mr. 3, and Ms. Golden Week attempting to flee into the jungle. "I won't let you get away, you jerks!"

A scared Karoo jumped back and forth, avoiding wax mounts falling around him. "Dammit! How dare you mock us!" Mr. 5 exclaimed.

Ms. Valentine punched Usopp's face. "Now you've done it! Playtime is over!" She shot up in the air. "I'm going to shatter that neck of yours into pieces! Special Attack: 10,000 Kilogram Guillotine!" Closer.

Usopp watched fearfully, as she started rocketing back down. "This is bad!"

Little did she realize, a certain someone was coming for her. Three someone's; Venus finally swung her restraint, while Vivi spun her slashers, and Nami (who was missing her shirt) wielded a staff, all to knock her away. As Venus dragged herself to him, Nami and Vivi stood back-to-back. "That was hot!" Nami remarked. "Couldn't you have done it a different way?"

Venus turned to her with a snarky look, as a stray ember ignited her mallet. "Ouch!" She yelped from the burn. "What other option was there, huh?"

An irritated Usopp managed to sit up with the witch's help. "Yeah, don't be fussy! Just be thankful you were saved!"

"You're right," Nami admitted, "Thanks!"

"This doesn't seem real," Vivi remarked, "We're alive!"

"The wax melted," Mr. 5 observed, "What a pain! We can't afford to screw up our mission any further!" He pointed his revolver, alarming the girls.

"Stay behind me," Usopp surprised Venus with his sudden bravery, "Mr. 5! Special Attack: Exploding Star!"

Mr. 5 ate the bullet again. "Fool! I've shown several times that explosives don't work on me! I'm an explosive man!"

"You took the bait!" Usopp grinned.

"Huh?" Venus looked up at him in confusion, and watched their adversary.

He soon sweating profusely, and his complexion was turning red. "So sorry! I'm a liar, you see!" Venus put her fingers to her mouth, stifling giggles. "That wasn't even an Exploding Star! It was a Special Tabasco Star!"

"Spicy!" Mr. 5 screamed, as fire shot from his mouth like a geyser.

Usopp laughed victoriously. "I already proved its effectiveness the hard way!"

"Alright, Usopp!" Venus cheered.

Mr. 5 collapsed to his knees. "Damn you pirates!" He coughed. "How dare you make a mockery of me!" Usopp's eyes widened in terror. "Time to blow up a full-body explosion!" He made a mad beeline for the sniper. "There won't even be bone fragments left!"

Just as he pushed Venus away to safety, he was trapped in a dangerous embrace. "No! Stop!" He thrashed frantically in his arms, but he was too strong.

"Usopp-kun!" She exclaimed.

"No! I'm sorry! I won't do it anymore!"

"Flaming Oni..." Zoro leaped from the fire, swords ready, "Giri!" Only Mr. 5 was affected; he was now ablaze, so Usopp was safe. "Flaming swords aren't too shabby," He remarked.

"Zoro!" Nami addressed him.

They were startled by a sudden quaking; it was Broggy! Also on fire, he stood on his feet, ready to fight. "Yo," Zoro greeted, "Good to see you're alive."

"Yeah," Broggy grinned, but it disappeared when he looked over Dorry's body.

"Master..."

Broggy perked back up, and gazed into the jungle. "That leaves two foes left."

"Bird!" Luffy ran after them with Karoo. "Don't let them get away with this!" They jumped over a fallen tree. "Real men don't spoil people's fights!" They skidded to a stop at what was in front of them: Mr. 3. Lots of him!

"How good of you to come! Welcome to my Wax-Wax Manor!"

"What is this?!"

"Well, then. Can you tell where I am?" Karoo glanced about hopelessly. "It would appear you picked a fight with the wrong people! We're the most intellectual team in all of Baroque Works! A brute force buffoon like you, who acts on instinct cannot catch us! I am Mr. 3. I carry out all assignments given to me flawlessly. Now, then! Step forward! The moment your back is turned to me, I'll stab you..." He had a dagger ready. "Right through the heart."

Through his laughter, Luffy eyed them all carefully... aha! "Gum-Gum... Stamp!" His foot shoved the real one into a tree.

"How... did you know," He stumbled forward deliriously, "I was here?" He then fell on his back in the grass.

Luffy was silent for a moment. "Instinct."

Just then, Karoo noticed Ms. Golden Week sneaking away, and charged in, to her terror.

In the wax house he found, Sanji poured himself some tea. "Afternoons are definitely best with Earl Grey." Just then, it hit him. "Hold on, now! This is no time for me to be drinking tea all fancy-like! Nami-san and the others might be waiting for me to help them!" He set the teacup down, and stood off the chair. "Still, though. What's such a relaxing place doing in the jungle?"

"Beta-beta-beta-beta-"

"Huh?" Sanji turned back at a strange ringing from a woven basket. "What's that?" He walked over, and lifted the top up. "Oh... it's a Transponder Snail." It was a purple snail, with a black handlebar mustache, and a shell that had teal and darker purple vertical stripes. Sanji set it on the table, and promptly answered. "Heya. You've called the Damn Restaurant. You want reservations?" For a few seconds, no one answered.

"Quit fooling around, dumbass," A deep, male voice chided, "Aren't you a bit late with your report?"

"Oh? Report?" Sanji replied curiously. "And who might I be talking to?"

"It's me. Mr. 0." At that, he frowned in determination. Mr. 0, huh?

#magical straw hat #one piece #one piece oc #tempeste g. venus #little garden #little garden arc

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awlimagines · 6 months

Text

Fact and Friction: Chapter Two

Pony paused as she stepped outside the farm to take in the sight of her new home. She hadn’t had a moment to look at Forget-Me-Not Valley as she chased after Takakura. The village was small. It was probably the smallest town she had lived in. Pony deeply inhaled the clean air. She had missed smaller communities free of smog. Maybe she was never meant for the cold city life. She could see the green-hatted musician trying to calm a redhead from where she stood. Their body language spoke volumes, though Pony couldn’t even catch a whisper of their conversation. Hesitant to interrupt them to cross to the beach, she decided to take a scenic route.

Pony turned to her right to walk toward the inn. There was another path winding down toward the bright lights of the lab and a grove of trees. She hadn’t noticed the road earlier when Takakura showed her around. She had been too focused on the giant tubes of blue and purple liquids and the sparking lights on the rooftop. She had expected to hear electricity cracking as she neared but could only catch a faint hum. Pony would need to meet the scientist. Takakura had said it was best not to ask about his experiments, but the outside of the scientist’s lab was interesting.

Her gaze drifted to the brightly colored yurt to see the others gone. She glanced at the empty beach before deciding to see what was within the small copse of trees first. She was pleasantly surprised to find a pond almost immediately. Its dark green waters spoke of long-stagnant water. At the bank stood someone in a long, tattered lab coat. The coat was more dingy gray than the pristine white on television shows.

“GAH! Who are you?! Another adversary from the city? I’ll have you know my lab is encrypted. You’ll never crack the code to enter!”

Pony stumbled back into a tree from shock as the man spun and rapidly addressed her. She couldn’t help but notice his clothes. The button-up half-tucked light teal shirt was probably in the best condition. His frayed black pants rose high enough to display mismatched socks and shoes. He was obviously the scientist, but Pony couldn’t see any tools or notes.

“I’m Pony. I’m here to learn from Takakura,” Pony greeted. “What were you doing?”

“Hah, I wouldn’t expect you to understand. As an expert in environmental science, I was observing the efficiency of this site. I’m proud to say my observations have confirmed the turtle pond is assisting in flood protection and shoreline erosion control and naturally improves water quality.”

“Oh, neat! I thought it was just a dirty pond,” Pony ignored his frown at her words as he adjusted his glasses. “So, you’re not actually experimenting on the pond?”

“My research here deals more with the natural recreational opportunities for citizens of the valley, mainly the opportunity to fish. I’m studying the correlation between the pond’s turtle and the appearance of larger and rarer fish within the pond.”

“It’s just a turtle. Correlation doesn’t equal causation,” Pony mumbled, remembering a vague science lesson from her youth.

“There is more than a simple correlation here. I’m not a quack scientist who would mistake the two.”

Her apology died in her throat as the scientist stalked past her back toward his lab, muttering under his breath. That was a terrible first interaction. Pony hoped the rest of her night would be better. She followed the pond’s edge to observe the giant turtle blankly staring ahead. This had to be the turtle he was talking about. She couldn’t see anything special about the turtle beyond its size and a red bandana around its long neck.

“Hey! This isn’t the beach! It’s over there,” Rock popped at her side to point at the small group on the beach.

“Haha, yeah. I got distracted talking to um,” Pony trailed off, realizing she missed getting the scientist’s name. “The scientist guy?”

“Oh, Daryl?” Rock’s face twisted in disgust as he hooked an arm through Pony’s to drag her to the beach. “ You’ll have more fun over here! He doesn’t seem terrible, but he’s a workaholic. I don’t understand how anyone can spend all their time working.”

“Rock! You’re supposed to be helping Molly with the drink,” a redheaded woman interrupted the rambling blonde.

“But Nami, Pony needed my help to find the beach. She was lost in the forest over there.”

“W-what? I-” Pony’s flushed at Rock’s words. She couldn’t afford another terrible impression.

“Don’t worry. No one listens to him,” Nami reassured her before snatching Rock’s arm. “You’re coming with me and helping to carry the drinks you insisted on for this party.”

“You really shouldn’t worry,” the green-hatted musician smiled. “Let me introduce you while we wait.”

The local artist Gordy was the tall, silent figure dressed in athletic wear. Pony was impressed with his blonde faux hawk and rippling muscles. She thought she heard wrong when he mentioned punching metal into sculptures. Cecilia was an enthusiastic girl in green. Two minutes of speaking with Cecilia had Pony convinced if it wasn’t for Matthew breathing down her neck, the entire town would be wrapped around her pinky. The dour Matthew made it clear very quickly that he was only there to keep an eye out for Cecilia. Her guide, Gustafa, was an easy-going musician who wore his guitar strapped to his back. The fiery redhead was Nami.

“I don’t understand why Molly didn’t have to help carry anything,” Rock whined, dropping the crate he carried on the sand.

“She’s the one who spoke to Griffin about your harebrained scheme! You should have carried it all; it isn’t like you helped pay anything.”

“Hello, darling! It’s so great to see you again,” a green-eyed blonde in red swept past the bickering. “You remember me, right?”

“Molly?” you questioned, blushing at her eyes blinking up at you.

“Aaah, I’m so happy you remembered me! We’re going to be the best of friends! Do you have any questions about town?”

Pony glanced over the group. She had a lot of questions, and Molly seemed the sort to know everything. It must be part of working for the sole supplier of drinks in the valley. For most of her questions, Pony would be content to wait and learn about the people around her. Though, there was one burning question she was curious about.

“Are they dating?” you whispered, pointing to Nami and Rock.

“Nope, no way!” Rock burst into the conversation, handing out drinks. “I’m too great to be contained by one person. But hey, don’t worry, Pony. I’ll always have room for you. So, fall for me. Don’t fall for Molly; she only likes city guys.”

“Hmph! If better options were here, I wouldn’t go to the city!” Molly snapped back, stomping her foot. Her face tinged red to match her dress as she shoved past Rock to join the others.

“Geez, what’s her problem? It was just a joke.”

“I think I’m going to join everyone and mingle too,” Pony muttered, ducking out from the arm Rock tried placing across her shoulders.

As Pony trudged home late into the night, she reviewed what she learned. She didn’t gather much information from Gordy, Gustafa, or Nami. The three mostly kept to themselves. She did enjoy Gustafa’s playing after he spent most of the night strumming chords. Cecilia and Molly were good friends who could keep any conversation going.

Nami and Rock were like siblings, which made sense since they lived at the inn. She wasn’t sure how long Nami had been in town. It was long enough to be comfortable with Rock but not the others. She was almost positive Molly liked Rock to some extent, while Rock was oblivious to nearly everything. Matthew was someone Pony needed to visit soon. The most she heard him talk was about crops. If she had any hope of not disappointing Takakura, she needed all the help she could get.

#fanfic nanowrimo #story of seasons #harvest moon #story of seasons a wonderful life #harvest moon a wonderful life #sos awl #bokujou monogatari #hm awl #awl imagines #awl daryl #i plan to start getting into some more drama/answers next chapter

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