#pure waffle
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"i don't care if you're sick, i dont care if you're contagious i would kiss you even if you were dead"
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Me after I read it I demand a picture of Pure Vanilla cookie holding his baby son
Oh little waffle baby... He's all he has... (based on that one image of Dark Cacao and baby Choco).
Bonus a Liege Waffle doodle I really like;
Young Prince obsessed with his robots.
#my art#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#my ocs#oc#cookie run oc#doodle#pure vanilla cookie#Liege Waffle Cookie
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Pure vanilla and his son
#pure vanilla cookie#purecacao au#purecacao fanchild#fanchild#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#bittersweet lies au#choco waffle cookie
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BITTERSWEET LIES
Prologue
The bright lights from the academia illuminated the halls as the two cookies walked in silence, comfortable silence wrapped around them as they both enjoyed what they had in the moment.
Years of friendship having gone by, having received their Soul Jams and new responsibilities as royals after founding their kingdoms. Enjoying a few drinks and having fun, exchanging a few stares as they smiled their cares away.
Investigating, searching for what they most wanted, for what they desired the most. Besides having lost his sight, he managed to protect what he loved the most. Enjoying their time in the wild and exploring the world and their souls together as much as they could.
With the ingredients on the table and their hearts on their sleeves, they created life. Love and life blooming like spring, sharing together what they thought would be their lives for the rest of their existence.
Interrupted by an attack, destruction and fear spreading across the land, bringing with it pain, suffering and chaos. Their happiness were completely banished, splitting them and their hearts as they tried to hold onto each other but were forced to separate by the sudden change of situations.
But after the storm, a rainbow could be seen, the birth of a new hero that would be one of the many to help recover the world from the ashes. Bringing light not only for the village, but to his mother who loved him the most.
“Mother! Mama!!” Pure Vanilla was shaken in his sleep
The teen shakes his mother and Pure Vanilla sits up, tears falling down the blonde's face as he pulled the young boy in his arms.
“I'm here mom.. it's okay.. did you have that dream again?”
No words could come out of his mouth, sealed shut as he tried to relax himself.
“... It's okay mama.. I'm here..”
“Thank you, my child..”
#bittersweet lies au#purecacao au#purecacao#pure vanilla cookie#choco waffle cookie#cookie run kingdom au
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ive got an essay due at 3pm tomorrow and ive not even looked at it i am so so unserious about my degree and by the grace of some higher being i somehow keep managing to crawl through it's actually getting a bit funny
#me and an old friend of mine used to have a running joke during a-levels that im just one of those people where shit Works Out#and it started bc we shared two a-levels (english and economics) and in BOTH classes i regularly didn't do the homework#or the reading etc and yet it would ALWAYS work out for me#like we'd walk into a class neither of us having done the homework and they'd get yelled at while i went under the radar somehow#or that one english essay i got the highest score in the class when i literally hadn't even read the fucking book it was on#and when we pointed the theory out it started just becoming really prevalent#like no matter how late i am for things i'll arrive and by some miracle the thing im late for is also late (e.g a train or teacher)#like im just one of those people that has very very mundane luck#and low and behold i am fighting this degree with bloody fists putting the absolute bare minimum in for my own sanity's sake#and i SOMEHOW keep pulling through. literally failed two modules last year and STILL got a 2:1 average#and the last essay i wrote was the worst essay id ever done in my life and i get my standards are higher bc ik im good at essays#but the point still stands and you know what? i got a FIRST#literally was pure waffle i have never blagged it so hard and i got a FIRST#and all this shit just makes me cockier and cockier and go even more by the skin of my teeth and it ALWAYS WORKS OUT#it's soooo silly but im not complaining. anyway ill keep u posted about this essay <3 it's econ history so is actually interesting#but the most ive done for it is ask the sc ai lmao and for context degree-level essays usually require a good few days of graft#live love laziness#hella goes to uni
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what i think is the reason I'm Just Ken is a good/as popular as it is is because the way it somehow explores both what its like to be a woman and man just through ken.
like the line "I'm just Ken. Anywhere else I'd be a ten." just feels very hitting as a woman in a social media world, especially if you've seen the truerateme subreddits and the ways they judge women.
and of course the fragility and inability to find meaning/self worth outside of a romantic relationship due to the strict boxes placed on men and male relationships (and even friendships between men and women).
theres more and i know im getting annoying with the barbie posts but i did really like the movie, regardless of how "bland" its feminism is. also just all the chronically online feminists complaining about how basic it is, like oh should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? should we invite andrea dworkin.
like is it perfect? no. does it lack in intersectionality and have poc characters act as the support to white characters? yes. should ken probably of apologized? yeah. but many things can be true about one movie.
#barbie#barbie spoilers#tiktok feminists hate me cause i dont think this movie is “impossible for men to understand” or “not for men”#once again no gender will be free unless all genders are free#also the way r*dfems are instantly trying to make some gender critical gender essentialist take from this movie#once again i wanna state the movie is not perfect!!!!! but truly women cant do anything without someone barking at their ass#cause you know who was moved by this movie? the mothers who took their daughters because they both grew up playing with barbies#and ended up watching a movie that they saw themselves in more than they expected#also all the people being like “when it was the kendom the barbies were treated like objects but in barbie land the kens were just ignored”#and its like? yeah the kens were also treated like objects? half the kens jobs were just be at the beach#and they were really only there to fill the ken part of barbie and ken#also like either they all dressed the exact same and like half were just shirtless/had open shirts most the time#is it one to one#no#but cmon#r*dfems literally fully believe women are pure beings who can never do bad things while men are inherently evil like women can sexualize me#is the sexualizing of men the exact same as women? no. but barbieland is not the real world#no “you must hate waffles” shit under here you will get blocked
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Red Mountain Waffle House Pt. 1
A job, the skooma-head (or sugartooth around here) had said. But she'd have to come up with some cover by doing some favors for the Fighters' Guild and Mages' Guild. And collect some information from them, too...honestly, it was such a load of shit and the guy looked so crazy Sadara could only make quick excuses before rushing out the door.
A spymaster for the Blades? That guy was crazy, and obviously lying. And that package, who knew what was actually in it. Probably she was just made into some kind of drug mule, and she wasn't eager to get into THAT business, however profitable it might be. That business about the Emperor was obviously some kind of front.
Why the port at Seyda Neen had insisted on giving her those papers and what they meant - it wasn't going to be HER problem any longer. She'd find her own way just like she always had.
Emperor my ass, that was probably a smuggler taking a lofty title.
Guarshit. Absolute guarshit. She didn't feel the least bit bad about lifting a couple cigarettes from Caius's stash--not like he was using them anyway, not from how dusty they were and how blistered that spoon under his bed looked.
Jiub, she had to find Jiub. If that man was good at anything it was finding a way to land on his feet. Murder charges - what did that really matter, he'd been charged with murder before and gotten off every time.
Sadara found herself mainly hunting cliffracers for awhile, remembering Jiub saying now and then in a skooma-induced haze that he had a dream to eradicate them. Not that she would herself, but it was a profitable venture, even if it did result in a few new scars. Between Balmora and Ald'ruhn she'd trek, selling the plumes and anything else she might have found on the way there.
Not a glamorous living, but she'd see Jiub every now and then in Ald'ruhn and a friend she saw now and then was better than nothing. He was pursuing a similar course of action on a different track, though when she mentioned she'd like to have an actual job and not just live by freelancing, he promised to keep an ear out for something.
In this cycle did she live for several months before finding that, on a new visit to Ald'ruhn, Jiub wasn't where he'd usually be.
A letter waited for her instead.
Sadara,
Remember how you said you wanted a steady job that didn't involve freelancing? I've got something that might suit you. They just opened up a Waffle House in the Red Mountain region. Shithole neighborhood, but it's steady work and they'll take basically anyone, even if you've got priors. Lucky for me, huh?
Anyway, I told the manager I had someone in mind and they're willing to hold a job for you. Just show up, try not to be too drunk, and the job's yours. (I'll be honest, I'm looking for someone to split the rent on my new place with too, and it's not a good idea to live alone here anyway.)
P.S. I included some gold, buy me a pack of Balmora Lights before you head up here.
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There weren't that many houses and such on the outside of the Ghostfence...as if civilization just stopped at its border. The silt strider stop was covered in graffiti, and someone was asleep underneath the bench at the foot of the stairs.
"Has the tower fallen?" a male voice called out. He lifted his head. "The red tower! It burns!"
Oh, so not asleep just yet.
"Tower's fine, man, go back to sleep."
That seemed to satisfy the mer, and he went quiet again. Sadara headed on to the Ghostgate entrance itself, and after being warned about the blight winds for what had to be the millionth time so far since she arrived in Morrowind, she pulled her turtleneck up, tilted her hat down, and tried to keep her eyes on the directions on her phone screen.
It really is just like home.
Now she was on the road to it, though, she was at leisure to think about why the Empire would put a Waffle House in the Red Mountain region anyway. Sure there were other restaurants, but mainly hole-in-the-wall type places catering to the ebony miners and buoyant armigers. Local places. A Waffle House was an Imperial thing, and it seemed like this was the LAST place they'd want to have one. This wasn't exactly Hlaalu territory.
It was a Hlaalu kind of move, though, to put Imperial stuff where it wasn't--
The building appeared in her sight when she rounded a corner. The blight winds didn't ease up a bit, but it was hard to miss the glaring yellow of the sign overhead -
WAFFLE HOUSE
A lighthouse in the red fog of this absolute wasteland.
Sadara struggled forward, thinking only of getting out of the dusty wind, and--
--nearly fell on her ass.
Groaning, she looked down, noting a brief glitter among the red grit at her feet. She reached down and picked up...a ring? Pretty polished silver with a moon, a burned bronze star, and a small diamond (or a fake, it was hard to tell) set in the middle. It looked valuable and she couldn't figure why it would be out here. Maybe someone was stealing it and just happened to drop it here while on the rung?
It slipped so nicely onto the ring finger of her right hand, too.
She decided to consider it a gift from above, and headed on into the Waffle House before she wasted any more time out in the storm.
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Jiub was right. The manager, a thin elderly Dunmer woman, seemed fairly reasonable about her application.
"My name's Nibani Maesa, I'm the manager here. You didn't show up drunk or blasted out of your mind, that's already a point in your favor. Have you waited tables before?"
"Yeah, a few times. Once for a place in Bravil and then a couple different places in Leyawiin."
"Have you got priors?"
"A few bar fights." Sadara paused when the woman gave her a look. "Being drunk in public...possession."
"Can you handle yourself if you're attacked?"
"I lived on the Waterfront in the Imperial City for two years, I can handle anything with my fists."
That seemed to satisfy her and after a few questions more the woman gave a nod. "You've got the job. Whatever Jiub told you, though, we've got rules. Don't fuck in the freezer, don't sleep in the storage, and if you absolutely HAVE to smoke skooma, do it in the bathroom like a civilized mer. We clear?"
"Yeah, but...people fuck in the freezer?" Sadara's hands came up as she laughed.
"Don't ask. So long as..." Nibani's exasperated tone faded off rather suddenly, and her gaze was directed at Sadara's right hand. "That ring, where did you get it?"
"Huh? Oh, is it yours?" She held her right hand out. "I found it outside...looks nice, doesn't it?"
She started to take it off, but was surprised when Nibani stopped her.
"No, no, it's not mine, but you might want to be careful showing it off around here, especially if the buoyant armigers drop by."
The woman muttered something else under her breath, something Sadara was certain she wasn't intended to hear.
"Azura preserve me..."
"What about the corprus monsters everyone keeps saying are all over the place?"
"Oh no, the corprus monsters are easy by comparison. Lesson one - put something on the jukebox that's catchy with an easy repeating beat, and they'll forget what they were mad about."
"What about, uh...the smarter ones? I've heard there are..."
"Be polite and they're fine. And try to ignore the religious proselytizing they're doing, no matter how nice the pamphlets are or how much you might like the painting on the covers. Seems every year they get an artist to add another set of abs to the picture of their god on the front."
"They WHAT."
"Rule number two," Nibani lit up a cigarette, "Don't ask anyone that follows him about the devil of Dagoth. They'll keep you at their table half the night and do nothing but say how glorious you could be in his service and how we're all meant to serve a higher power. Some nonsense about dreams, that sort of thing. You understand."
"Suppose I accidentally get roped into the conversation?"
"Be polite...but noncommittal. And don't get your hands too close to their mouths - the ones that still have a mouth, anyway. They'll bite you and you'll catch corprus. We've got gloves for when we need to serve people that've got it."
"Why not just stop them coming in?"
"Because their gold spends just as well as anyone else's...and if they bring in one of their amulets, we take those too. They're symbols of that devil but they're valuable enough to pay your rent for a few months."
"So..." Sadara paused, a a little awkwardly. "When do I start?"
"Tomorrow," Nibani replied, "You're rooming with Jiub, right? How do you feel about the night shift? Would be safer for you to go back and forth in this neck of the woods if you've got someone to go with."
"Night shift's fine...and thanks. For thinking about my safety."
#one of the silliest things ive ever written#pure crack#fanfiction#morrowind#nerevarine#tes#tesblr#elder scrolls#dunmer#dunmer oc#ashlander#waffle house#dagoth ur#blight#red mountain#Red Mountain Waffle House#jiub#saint jiub#vvardenfell#the elder scrolls
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Hetaween Day 1: After dark/Cabin in the woods/Folklore sorry it's a bit late @hetaween-event. Set in the summer of 1816 during the so-called Ohio fever due to the year without a summer, creative liberties have been taken.
Hungry, hungry, hungry, they were so hungry, they should never have set out, Summer had come down, cold winds hissing, turned yellow and ran, black in the cotton, rot in the lamb, ash on the crops, ash on the ground, left Hampshire they had, left Hampshire for the promised land in the west, land that wouldn't be frozen for months on end, land that could support corn, land that could support them, them and their soon to be families, they were unmarried yet, solely because they oft could not support themselves in these times.
Summer had turned coward and ran, storms and blizzards in May and June, frosts on the apples in July, no rain for months, the seasons had been set awry, the Lord was angry with them, but they would starve there if they stayed.
West, west, west.
Alfred and Matthew, west, west, west, west away from the sea, leaving Hampshire for dead.
They should not have set away from the trail, they did it for the rest, both tall and strong, corn fed, strong even starved, gone to look for food, to look for help, whichever was better.
They were greedy, both of them, and they would be forgiven for that, they did not have much, deprivation causes greed, this is not something new, the Lord would forgive their greed.
In the snow, it should not have been saying, it only being October, yet it was, in the snow, inches deep, in the premature darkness, the sun had been blotted out early as usual, covered by clouds and ash, there was a cabin, a small one, nestled in the woods, the soft glow of firelight.
Help!
They had help, maybe even they were willing to share their food, if they were living here then they would have meat, hunters probably, they needed meat, the young ones were too tired to go on, bones aching and blood thinning.
Alfred knocked, always the more confident of the brothers, the door opened, the man who opened it was tall, unnaturally so, Alfred was tall, Matthew taller still, they looked small compared to him, perhaps they should not have knocked here.
His speech was heavily accented, he was not from around here clearly, "Yes, what is it that you wish?"
Alfred could not speak for the moment, his voice had been stolen from his body, tongue gone thick and mind like molasses, Matthew took control "Sir, I'm sorry, do you have any food, or could you help?"
He called someone called Arthur over, he was small, but greying, "Yes Ivan?"
"Need food, should we help?"
Alfred did not like that look in his eye, it was almost predatory, like the glinting of a falcon's eye.
It was probably just the fire.
Neither of them looked natural, they did not, but this fear was overshadowed by greed, there was cured meat hanging from hooks on the walls, some fresh meat too, so much of it, carcasses that looked like deer, and some that they couldn't identify.
The smaller one, Arthur, had blood on his hands, he had been cutting meat or something of that sort, he washed that off, "Yes boys, what are you doing so far out into the woods, in such dreadful weather to be that?"
Redcoat, why was he a fucking redcoat, Alfred was immediately put on guard, Arthur looked at him annoyed, "No need to look at me like that, I am not a redcoat, just English. Now boys, answer my question, what are you doing out here at this time of year and this time of night."
"Ah, you see we were travelling west, to see where there was farmland, travelin' to Ohio was was, but are starved right now, cause we ran outta food and the kids can't go on much further and we were wonderin' if you could help a bit?"
They seemed to be considering it, the tall one, Ivan, supposedly, looked at them closely "You are too thin, no food?"
"I mean, we are here because we are starving."
"No starving, no here."
What that meant was beyond them, they were a bit too sluggish to think, mm, this place smelled nice, were they burning incense or something, they felt very heavy all of a sudden, Ivan smiled, he had too many teeth, far too many, and why were his eyes purple?
They were too sluggish to think much further than that, a grip on the hand, 4 fingered, black nails, the arm was freckled and the skin was cold, Arthur.
Matthew was more forcefully restrained, by Ivan, he was larger, and the incense was not working on him as well, but in time, he grew pliant too, sat down at the table, they did not have much meat to them, they needed to be fed up a little, fresh blood, would be nice.
Cured meat, fae food, fae food had odd impacts on humans, there were always stories not to eat food offered to you by the fae for then you will never leave, it was mostly true but not in the way that was expected, their food was addictive, and fattening, in no time neither could remember their names, let alone why they were here, fattened up like pigs ready for the slaughter, and ready for the slaughter they were.
Ivan liked making the death itself quick, but what he did afterwards was foul, it was wonderful, digging around in organs to try and find the organs, their blood tasted good, it did, drained in the cold, cured, stewed, and eaten.
Arthur liked to make them suffer, they wouldn't remember it anyways, but it made him feel good, slowly bleeding them out, taking great care not to get them sick, and thus not to get them sick, Alfred made such wonderful noises, his heart still beating when Arthur took a bite
Alfred and Matthew were never seen again, they were gone, and then forgotten, they never got to the promised land, eaten and savoured, may the Lord forgive their greed.
#the heam writes#hetaween2023#hws canada#hws america#hws russia#hws england#ruseng#implied at least#i love doing those bastards as murderous and cannibalistic and in love im sorry#im sorry the research wasnt as good as i should have been doing#this is just pure waffle#and short#i was going to do some things but i think that would be more than a fair bit racist. so i didnt
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Mi, a couple hundred years from now: ancient, full of powerful magic, and ready to make that everyone’s problem.
#they waffle on how much they choose to wear#also might make their design a little more in between-y with humanoid traits...went more pure sphinx in my first pass
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what my English Lit teacher sees every time i turn in an essay~
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"i hate everything about you. why do i love you?"
#rileys song correlations#pure waffle#evan peters#american horror story#evan peters smut#ahs smut#tate langdon#james patrick march#kai anderson#kyle spencer#jimmy darling#peter maximoff#ahs#three days grace
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Still you.
I'm on a Waffle Liege brainrot rn don't look at me Auuugh; that one trend but with a wholesome twist, father and son reunited :)
#my art#my ocs#cookie run#oc#cookie run kingdom#cookie run oc#Liege Waffle Cookie#pure vanilla cookie#doodle#sketch#tag as ship and I delete your bones
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some of y’all will really look at a man who always talks with unparalleled animation through his entire big-breasted, thick-thighed self, who can never ever make up his mind because I Mean, It Depends and I Like Both I Like Boats *0.03* seconds later* I Hate Both Boats and coincidentally gives off the biggest bisexual energy, who newton-cradles between terrible dirty jokes and terrible-er dad jokes faster than the race car he drives that he never ever fails to acknowledge the brilliance of and the minds and designs behind, who laughs at said terrible jokes with his entire face and accompanying crow’s feet and is a dad to both two cats and a sweet little girl whom he carries on his shoulders and smiles at like she’s the only person ever, who unfailingly throws all caution to the wind in press conferences like fruit this fruit that i’m the fucking fruit bowl the fruit forest, here let me press my mouth up to this piece of glass like a silly little fish to make this man laugh and here let me talk about us as two men in a heteronormative sport cuddling together at night and massaging each other and here let me tease you for spinning and making me slow for yellows and lean forward to see if it makes you laugh or blush or both, who has been found on the floor and butt-naked by his teammate like bro what the fuck happened there, who hugs with his entire soul and buries his face into collarbones and cries sweet tears of happiness and has an entire team who loves him from their toes up take him into their arms and lift him on their shoulders and catch him when he runs to them after a race and throws himself into their embrace, who sizzles years worth of fighting and dreaming and achieving down to it Just Brings Back A Lot Of Rest and This Hasn’t Been For Nothing and the quiet blame he sets on his own self of a doomed marriage he had no control over he was a child (a child), who has the smallest dearest freckle on his lips that sends strangers into deranged sweats and righteous mutiny when even touched by photoshop, who wears one singular type of cap like a farmer who was warned by a witch that his carrot farms would die from famine if removed, who when he heard theories about how the curved cap gives him more luck over his regular bae only wore the regular one out of spite bc Fuck You Superstition!! who retains information about countries and flags and world cup trivia like it’s a human citizenship requirement, who has retained this information from when he was the littlest boy the smollest potato with dreams dropped onto his shoulders and determination in his spark blue eyes that crinkle so beautifully at literally anything even remotely funny to his relatable and therefore hilarious shit humor, who lets his heart go without limit and knows his self worth and isn’t embarrassed to speak out against something that hurts him and especially hurts his friends and family, who will defend the people he loves with everything in him to a fault and then some more, and go
#there’s so much more there’s SO much more#i don’t care i do not CARE if you do not like him but when you VILLAINIZE???#and go after his fucking FAMILY to let out pure SPITE ????!#there’s a fucking line and that’s way over#narratives this narratives that the ONLY narrative that is factually correct is that max verstappen is a human being and he’s soft as fuck#he looks incredible in oversized navy t shirts and he makes mistakes#xiao: waffle#waffle: mv1#max verstappen#long post#fuck me i need to lie down#he has feelings and emotions and dreams and so much respect for the people he adores
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How do you see Campari and Cognac get along with their GoD and Kaioshin?
Hihi anon, thanks for the ask, sos its a bit late, ive been a bit busy the past few days aha 🧡🤎
Campari
I think Camp is bit of a nerd (i like to imagine he went out of his way to learn and understand Mosco's beeps an shit), so i think he would get along with Mosco and Eyre. Like, in the manga, he literally lies to Zeno's face to save Mosco's and Eyre's skin when Mosco apparently said something offenisve in Zeno's presence. Only a proper good mate (who also happens to have massive bollocks we dont talk about that monent in ep 92 of the anime) would do that. Also in the anime, Mosco is the only GoD who thanks his Angel for sticking with him (HE CALLS HIM "PAL" IN THE ENGILISH DUB 😭) like, they are deadass besties (i like to imagine they all play video games together an shit as well hehe)
Cognac
Now, I gotta be honest, since we saw little to no Cog, its a bit harder to determine his relationship with Quitela and Kuru, so I'm gonna base most of my answer based on a headcanon I have regarding Cog's personality. Now while Kuru is quite snooty and Quitela is, quite frankly, a twat (no offence if you like him), I imagine Cog is actually really sweet and nice but really quiet, borderline shy, at the same time- which is quite the contrast from his GoD. Because of this, I reckon he has piss poor relationships with his GoD and Kaioshin. This can be supported by the fact that he didn't give a rats arse haha get it? about Quitela, Kuru and Co. getting erased in the Anime ik he looked sad in the manga, i am merely cherry picking my evidence lol.
Also, it is worth pointing out that Camp's universe has a higher mortal level ranking than Cog's, possibly as a result of their relationships. It seems the deities of these lower ranking universes dont get along with each other whereas the higher rankers are BFFs or summit lol.
TLDR: Campari has a good relationship with the deities from his universe while Cognac does not
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i have my econometrics exam today wish me luck pls im going to cry in front of the invigilator
#everyone’s shitting it bc the exam is only 1h30 and it’s not even shorter for it#like that is not nearly enough time#and I’m just here with my extra time and little room like 😏#still gonna fail tho I cannot express enough how much this module is just pure waffle#micro and econometrics are my evil ones so at least after today those two are DONE#if I could kill them dead I would#hella goes to uni
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30 minute meeting went on for over 2 fucking hours
#like oh my gooooooooooooooooood#towards the end it was such pure waffle none of us needed to be on that call it was ridiculous#manager said well eleanor looks like she wants to kill herself and i had to be like omg nooooooo it's all good but like END THE CALL#I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO IT'S LITERALLY 6PM IN EUROPE WHY ARE WE STILL HAVING A CHIT CHAT??
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