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#prev reblog there's been a weird feeling in my chest recently
cryolyst · 6 months
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psycho-slytherin · 5 years
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Strangers ch. 35
The last secret surfaces.
Pairing: Yoongi x (female) Reader
Word count: 1.4k
Genre: fluff, angst
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“C’mon, pick up,” you beg your phone as you sit, now wide awake, at the edge of your bed. Sure, it was just one tweet, but ARMYs are already tagging the BTS Twitter account and at this rate, Yoongi is going to see it for sure. You unliked it right away, but now there are screenshots, so many screenshots. Lisa, please pick up.
Your best friend doesn’t, in fact, pick up– but that’s no surprise, it’s almost obscenely early for a university student. You can’t sleep, you’re far too wired to do anything except jam your feet into fur boots and shrug into a jacket or three. The cold permeates your bones constantly now, as though it’s coming from inside you, and you’re starting to get worried that what you thought was a fake phobia is truly affecting you. Plus, without a chain on which to wear your Starry Night charm, your neck feels unusually bare, and so you add a scarf to your outfit.
You grab your keys and head out the door, about to turn in the direction of the quiet alley with its singular lamp before you freeze. You’re not allowed to go back there anymore. Ever since that photo, you can’t return to your lamppost– it’s far from a silent street now. Lisa told you ARMYs have been there almost every night in the hopes that Yoongi comes back.
But you need to do something– it’s one of your rare days off, you have nowhere to be and you’re antsy, so antsy, what if he’s already seen it?
You kick at the ground in frustration before yelping at the sudden pain in your left leg; “Ow! Motherfu–”
“Y/n?”
You nearly swallow your tongue at the familiar voice. “Yoongi?” you gasp, digging your nails into your palms as a sudden wave of anxiety overtakes you. “W-what are you doing here? It’s way too early.”
“You’re awake too,” Yoongi points out, his eyes sparkling in the sunrise. You’d forgotten how attractive he’d seemed when you were an ARMY, but moments like this remind you of that eternal fact.
It doesn’t help that after that photoshoot, you’re hyperaware of how you look next to him– you feel like the worst possible person to be fake-dating him. How is he, a visual god, expected to be seen with you?
“Yeah, but I live ten meters away,” you reply, looking at his shoulder to avoid his face. Shit, but he’s got attractive shoulders too. You just need to take a deep breath– you’re due for your period soon, it must be the hormones.
“Ah, well...” Yoongi scratches his head, his ears reddening. “I had my driver take me to the lamppost first, but it was, uh... full of people. So I’ve been wandering around. I was hoping to run into you, actually.” He fishes around in his coat pocket before pressing something cold to your palm.
Cold. “No!” You yelp, scrambling backwards, your heart racing, every nerve on end. Cold, you hate the cold, you’re scared.
“Jeez! Y/n, y/n, are you okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to spook you!” Yoongi says, eyes wide. His palms are out as though he’s calming a scared horse.
“Y-y-yeah. I, um...” you swallow. “I saw a spider.”
Yoongi chuckles, rubbing his ears as though you’ve deafened him. “That’s it? Damn, remind me to never let you near a spider.” Spotting something on the ground, your friend stoops to pick it up. “Here, if you want it– it’s not a spider, promise.”
You examine the thin silver chain, affection quickly blooming in your chest to replace your irrational fear. “It’s so pretty.”
“It’s for your necklace– I know your old chain chain broke but if you want to keep wearing the charm...”
You fling your arms around him and squeeze him tightly. “Of course I do! Thank you, Yoongi. Really. But... that can’t be the only reason you’re awake so early, right? I know you, we’re both night owls.”
Yoongi looks at the ground. “It’s more staying up late than waking up early,” he admits. “I didn’t actually sleep much last night.”
You look closer at your friend– dark circles are prominent under his eyes, and he seems to be fighting back a yawn. You bite your lip, worried: it seems he really was upset that you’d lied to him about the ARMY hate you were receiving.
Oh well, at least you’re not keeping any more secrets.
Except, except, except... a whisper floats through your mind, and all the air seems to leave your lungs. 
“Do you want to come upstairs for coffee?” you manage, certain he thinks you’re insane. First you shriek at an imaginary spider, then you act possessed with how much your thoughts are physically affecting you.
“I’d love to.”
You go upstairs and set the coffeemaker to work, your mind and heart at war: Yoongi doesn’t know about that night, but nothing would change if you told him. You promised him no more secrets, true, but it’s not really a secret. It’s not like he’s asked you ‘Hey, have any of my fans actively tried to murder you recently, resulting in a weird sort of PTSD?’
No, if he asked that, you’d tell him the truth. Other than that... yes, he’s better off not knowing. You nod to yourself, satisfied, and Yoongi catches the movement.
“What’s on your mind?”
You sit down across from him, toying with the newly strung Starry Night charm on your throat. “BTS, of course. Remember, I’m a fangirl like the rest of them.”
“Funny that you bring up BTS– did I tell you I’m working on a new Agust D mixtape? And hey, you’re not like the rest of them,” Yoongi says, reaching across to boop your nose. “Well, you’re like the good ones. And the others... they’re not real ARMYs.”
You nod knowingly. “Right, those just want me out of the picture.”
“Don’t worry, y/n, it’s just words– they’ll never really hurt you.”
You stare at him, your left leg suddenly throbbing. You’re remembering the redhead’s hands on your chest, the terrifying walk to Lisa’s house after barely making it out of the river. They’ll never really hurt you. “What if they already have?”
Almost on reflex, Yoongi rubs his shoulder. “What do you mean?” His eyes turn hard. “Don’t lie to me again, y/n.”
What’s the truth anymore? Does it matter? You’re made of falsehoods by this point, and peeling them away feels more difficult every day.
"Yoongi...” you take a deep breathe, staring at your lap. “Are you sure you want to know?”
He hesitates so long that it almost seemed like he’d say no. Eventually he nods slowly.
“Tell me everything.”
~~~
“So now, uh... well, I Googled it, there’s a thing called cryophobia– the fear of cold– and it’s, y’know, a little farewell token from the redhead and her friends.” Your hands are shaking and you’re curled up in your chair like L from Death Note, grasping at Starry Night like a lifeline, but at least you told him. At least you told Yoongi the truth, and ten thousand weights have been lifted from your shoulders.
“Why didn’t you call me for a ride?” Yoongi asks eventually.
Your cheeks heat up. “I was mad at you,” you mutter. “You insulted my work ethic.”
“Because you were working yourself to death,” Yoongi replies, almost automatically, before catching himself. “I’m sorry– I shouldn’t. You’re an adult, and I trust you. I just don’t know how to process...” he grips his coffee cup with both hands. “She pushed you? You could’ve drowned!”
You nod, rolling your eyes. “I think that was the point, Yoongs.”
“God, I can’t believe– I really thought... I’m so glad you’re okay, but...” his eyes turn fierce. “I should make a statement.”
“No! Don’t, please, you’ll make it worse.” You touch his wrist lightly. “I’m okay, really. She was just an anomaly.”
“You said it was a message from the rest of them,” Yoongi replies. “What if they try again?”
“They won’t. I’ll get pepper spray or something.”
“You should know how to fight them off,” he says, thoughtfully tapping an index finger to his plump lips. “Jungkook is taking MMA lessons. Maybe you could join him.”
You laugh. “I’ll consider it if you get a full night’s sleep!”
“No way, I have too much to do. New mixtape, remember? I’ll sleep when I’m out of ideas. And, hey...” Yoongi winks. “I might need an actress for Agust D’s next music video.”
“Get out of here, nerd.”
Yoongi drains his cup and stands. “Oh, by the way...”
“Yeah?”
“I saw that post you liked last night. Didn’t know you were so into my tongue technology.”
A/N Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to like, comment, and reblog <3
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