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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend for not taking her meds?

My (24M) girlfriend (28F) has bipolar and BPD. We've been together coming up on 3 years now. For the last half a year we were together it was pretty rough and turbulent, she was unmedicated and was having suicidal breakdowns almost every day, ended up in hospital several times, threatened and got into physical altercations with other girls who spoke to me or she thought were flirting with me, and I was spending almost every single day of my life having to take hours to talk her down from suicide or self-harm. It was emotionally exhausting and as someone who's also had suicide attempts in the past it was also incredibly triggering and damaging to my own mental health.

For additional context as to why I feel the way I do, my last girlfriend also had diagnosed BPD and NPD and when she stopped taking her medication she became fully abusive both physically and verbally and it took me a year of being absolutely beaten down to finally snap and leave her.

(Obvious note: I'm not saying everyone with bipolar, BPD, or NPD is abusive or that these illnesses inherently make you abusive. They were an abuser who just happened to have those things, and that played into how they acted and thought/felt.)

Current girlfriend eventually got medication and has been doing much better for most of the time since then. When she's on her meds she's a wonderful and generally pretty healthy partner - she's supportive, understanding of my boundaries, checks in with me, she's a year clean from self-harm, hasn't displayed any kind of self-destructive behaviour. She's gotten a job and managed to hold it down (got fired from several jobs in the past because of her daily meltdowns meaning she wasn't attending work), she's started exercising and going to the gym, she's picked up new hobbies, made new friends, she's just been doing great in general.

For about the past month though, she started going days without taking her medication and when I reminded her she would say she didn't want to, that she hated taking it, that she doesn't like the way it makes her feel etc. This is something my last girlfriend said too, and I know it's really common for people with BPD (and maybe bipolar too?) to stop taking their medication because they feel emotionally flat in comparison to how they feel off of the meds. I pretty much said that I couldn't handle going back to how she acts when she's off of the medication again and that if she was going to stop taking them then I didn't think our relationship would last through that kind of period again because last time it completely destroyed my mental health, my sleep, my life and several of my relationships due to how much energy and time I was having to put into her vs. myself and everything else. I suggested asking her doctor/psychiatrist/etc. for another dosage change or meds switch again to see if that would work better (though up until recently they have seemed to be working great so I'm not sure how good of an idea switching it up again would be).

She agreed at the time but I was kind of concerned about whether she'd been keeping up with it or not because over the last few weeks I've already noticed things devolving again - her screaming at me out of nowhere and having mood swings, intense jealousy and possessiveness, impulsive behaviour, even a couple of breakdowns again and having to talk her out of self-harm for the first time in over a year. True enough, today I found out she's been pretending to take her medication and throwing them out. When I confronted her about it she admitted she hasn't taken her medication for weeks.

I pretty much withdrew after that and didn't say anything at that moment but after a while she asked me why I was being so quiet and I basically repeated what I'd said to her in the last conversation, that I was honestly rethinking whether or not the relationship would work because I can't handle that kind of emotional exhaustion and constant sacrifice all over again. I don't mind some emotional support and some labour of love in a relationship because of course I'm going to need to look out for her mental health and reassure and comfort sometimes, that's the reality of loving someone who struggles, but I can't do it 24/7 again. I can't once again put talking her down for hours every day and weathering screaming and violent lashing out all the time at the expense of even my own basic needs and my own mental health struggles (for example my c-PTSD from my last relationship).

When I said that she got very very upset and basically said I was forcing her to choose between me and freedom or being able to live a normal/unmedicated life (which I mean, I guess I can't argue with because in a way I am making her choose between me and stopping her meds), and that I couldn't control her like that. I told her I wasn't doing it to control her and that if she's really determined to go off of them she could, but that I would have to make my own personal choice to walk away as a result of it for my own sake.

She said she'd think about it but ever since that conversation I've been going back and forth in my head on how much of a dick move it would be to flat out just do a black-and-white "Either you stay on your meds and regulate your behaviour or I leave"

TL;DR Girlfriend wants to go off of her medication, but when she's off her meds she has almost daily suicidal breakdowns and lashes out at me physically and verbally. WIBTA if I broke up with her if she goes ahead with stopping?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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serahlink · 5 months

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🚨 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS OPEN🚨 tw // homeless / some med talk but not much

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

Making a new post to hopefully get some work for my family and I so we have somewhere to stay for tonight, since work has been very slow lately. I'm Link, and I'm a 22-year old artist, and my family and I (me + my father and younger sibling) have been homeless since November 2021. It's a long story. TL;DR version is at the same time, while I was living with a friend and my dad + younger sibling was on the road (he drove a van at the time) he had gotten into a diabetic coma and was fired by his job. Being fired meant he or my sibling didn't exactly have a home to go back to, as our relatives on both sides refused to help. At the same time, I was going to have to find someplace else since my friends grandmother was entering the late stages of her life and they had to transfer her to the nursery, meaning there was a lot of things his family had to take care of and I couldn't be there. They allowed my father, sibling and I to stay there for two weeks to give us time to find someplace else.

While I was there, I'd been doing commissions to help their family out with food, and since it was either the streets or living under a roof; I told my friend to take us to a nearby motel since we had enough for a day, and we could figure things out from there. So since then, I've been keeping us here by doing commissions ever since. Either of us haven't been able to obtain a job yet due to how hard it is for us to get our documents to get an id (we dont have a car at the moment, and saving money for the room and food is already tough as is), but recently we think we might be able to get my father's ID so he can work, were waiting on his lung condition to recover fully and get money saved up for the documents and all that before we apply to get them. So hope isn't fully lost for us, we just need to take care of some things for a while longer until then.

Recently, things have gotten worse again. We were paying weekly thanks to the help from my followers and commissions I was getting, but when we weren't able to pay for another, we went back to paying daily again. And immediately we were set back. For the past few days, we haven't been able to pay for one let alone food. We were able to pay most of it to at least stay here, thanks to the kindness of the staff, but they called us earlier to tell us if we couldn't pay everything tonight, then we'd have to leave. We owe 120 by 11pm tonight, and I thought maybe making a new post might help us since posting on my other socials hasn't done much for us lately.

My commissions are open, and if you're interested in helping us out via a commission you can contact me through my Tumblr dms since it's the easiest way to get to me. But if you can't help financially, which I totally understand, I know the economy is tough on all of us right now, please don't feel bad or anything. Reblogs also help us a ton, and it always means a lot to us.

For the commission info itself, I have it all packed into this link right here, along with examples of my art and prices. I draw mainly fantasy pertaining to the Dragon Age Series and although I know little to nothing about Baulders Gate, I have done some art of tavs before! I also do DnD work as well, so I'm used to drawing pretty unique characters. I'll also put some examples I have below. If you want something outside of that, I'm sure I can provide, just let me know upon your request! And I think that's all. Much love to you and thank you for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)

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anincompletelist · 3 months

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happy wip wednesday! :D

once again got caught up in the excitement of finishing up bridesmaids so have not gotten a chance to read through these yet, but THANK YOU to @getmehighonmagic @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @priincebutt @onthewaytosomewhere @kiwiana-writes @suseagull04 @orchidscript @nocoastposts @littlemisskittentoes @ninzied FOR THE TAGS! I am looking forward to getting my popcorn ready and reading through all of your lovely words <3

this snippet is longer than I thought (oops) but I've been keeping this one pretty close to my chest and it has been clawing at the bars of its enclosure (the Docs) to get out into the world so HERE SHE IS:

“With all due respect,” Alex hesitates, “if this client needs to remain so confidential, would you not just want to… ask them what they’d want? Cut out the middle man?” He readjusts the phone where it’s caught between his ear and his shoulder, stuffing the last of the groceries into his trunk. The pay-off really would be nice. “Not that I’m turning down the job at all.”

Bea sighs. “That’s the thing, though— he already has everything he could possibly want. It isn’t— he doesn’t much care for material things, save for a few sentimental items he already has. I’ve tried to throw him parties and I’ve tried to work with his best friend to come up with something and I’ve gotten and made him one of everything known to man and it just—” she huffs, cutting herself off. “He would never act ungrateful for anything, but he— these past few years have been difficult for him and I haven’t been as present as I should be and I know a gift isn’t going to magically make up for that but birthdays are hard for him he just deserves something really, really good.”

“Um,” Alex blinks at the concrete.

“God, I’m so sorry. I’ve just given you a shitload of information that you never asked for, haven’t I?”

“No, that’s— this is good. I can work with this,” he clears his throat, nodding to himself. “And I get the whole wanting-them-to-have-something-good thing, especially when it’s a sibling.”

Bea’s line goes silent for a moment. “... Had I mentioned that it was my brother?”

“Oh,” he blinks, gripping the phone a bit harder, “well, no. I don’t think so. I’m sorry for assuming, I just— you were talking about him the same way my sister talks about me so I just—”

“Alex, please,” she laughs softly. “It’s alright. I’m glad that you haven’t already hung up on me, to be honest. I’m a bit all over the place at the moment.”

“Maybe we should get that NDA out of the way before we continue then. Then you can feel free to be as unhinged as you want.”

She snorts. “Yes, perhaps we should.”

“Although, if you don’t mind, I always ask my clients how they found me for research purposes. So, can I ask—?”

“As it turns out, professional gift-giving is a highly specific occupation, and you seem to be about the only legitimate looking one that managed to come up in the Google results.”

OPEN TAG OPEN TAG but also! @firenati0n @affectionatelyrs @inexplicablymine @msmarvelouswinchester @bigassbowlingballhead @read-and-write- @happiness-of-the-pursuit @iboatedhere @matherines @sparklepocalypse @firstprincexo @raysletters @cricketnationrise @eusuntgratie @anchoredarchangel @rmd-writes <3333

#wips

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jackhues · 3 months

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together - pricey shots and brick wolls

pricey shots and brick wolls! au masterlist

note: takes place in march 2022 - rowan's 23 years oldish. if something's not factually correct, i'm so sorry guys. i tried really hard to make it kind of accurate. i kind of don't like this... but anyways it's here now

tw: asshole doctor, mentions of periods/fertility

"i suggest you drink lots of water and work out more," the doctor told rowan. "if the pain continues, you can take pain medication, but i don't think it'll be necessary. take a half hour walk in the mornings and evenings and stay hydrated. perhaps watch your diet as well. it's nothing big."

rowan stared at him, unsure if he was being serious.

the doctor noticed this, raising a brow in her direction. "any questions?"

"i'm just -- i mean, i'm an athlete," she reminded him. "i work out a lot more than the average person. i stay hydrated. i've got professional trainers making sure i have a healthy, balanced diet. i can't get any healthier than this. telling me to drink more water, to work out, to eat healthy -- it's not a solution. i can't do it any better than i am right now."

rowan could've sworn the doctor was about to roll his eyes.

"you play in a league?" he asked her. "or just... recreationally?"

"i play professional hockey," her voice came out tougher than usual. "i play in the phf, for the toronto six. i play for team canada too, i just won a gold medal for this country a month ago. i can assure you, my diet and work out routine has nothing to do with the pain i'm feeling."

the doctor sniffed, noting some things down on the clipboard.

"alright, the best i can do is prescribe you some pain medication," he ripped a prescription off and handed it to her. "i can also refer you to a specialist, but i don't think it'll be much help."

"i'd like to see the specialist," rowan responded, taking the prescription.

"sure, okay," he nodded, filling out something else and handing it to her. "you'll get a call from that number in a few days to work out an appointment time."

"thank you," rowan told him, not really meaning it.

she left the room, making her way back to her car. she took a deep breath, reminding herself to calm down. being angry and driving home would do no one any good.

over the past few weeks, rowan had been experiencing lots of pain and intense cramping. her periods had always been a little unusual, but so were her mom's, and she didn't think too much about it. the big problem was the cramps and pain she'd have even after her period. her fiancé finally convinced her to get it checked out after seeing her crumple in the middle of her practice due to pain.

"this is why i haven't gotten my shit checked," she muttered to herself, angry at the doctor for simply dismissing her. she'd heard stories of this her whole life, and of course, it finally happened to her.

she sent a text to joseph, letting her know the appointment was done and she was going to see a specialist eventually. finally, convinced that she had cooled off a little, she turned the car on and made her way home.

---

rowan got the call to pick up her reports while she was washing the dishes.

"everything alright?" joseph asked her once she hung up.

"it was the specialist," she told him. "um, they told me i have to pick up the reports."

"that was pretty quick," he responded. "i thought they take like, weeks. i didn't know it only takes a few days."

"they usually only tell you to pick up reports if something's wrong," she continued quietly. "otherwise, they might not even call back."

"hey, hey," joe got up quickly, taking her hands in his. "hey, look at me. giving your report doesn't mean it's something bad, okay? you won't know until you get them."

"can you come with me?" she asked, her voice a little small.

"of course," he responded. "you don't have to ask. whatever you want, love."

rowan's heart felt like it might burst -- either from the nervousness of getting her report back, or the love she felt for joseph in that moment.

unable to speak, she simply nodded, allowing joseph to lead her outside and to the car. he talked while he drove her to the specialist's office, telling her about his day and all the crazy things his teammates had done.

she appreciated him a lot for that, for doing his best to take her mind off of this. she wasn't usually nervous when it came to things like this, but for some reason, she could only think up the worst things.

"you ready?" joe asked her, turning the car off and turning to her.

rowan closed her eyes, taking a deep breath the way her uncle had taught her years ago. a deep breath in, a deep breath out -- and out with it went the thoughts of everything that didn't matter in this moment.

she nodded at her fiancé, "ready."

---

"miss price?" the doctor asked, entering the room.

rowan sat up straighter, nodding, "that's me."

"and this is?" the doctor looked at joseph, sitting in one of the seats near the patient's bed.

"joseph woll," rowan introduced him. "my fiancé. he'll be staying here for the reports, i already signed a consent form at the front desk."

"perfect, it's nice to meet you," she smiled at joe. she turned to her computer, typing up a few things and pulling up some files. "okay, so rowan price? twenty three years old?"

"yup," rowan nodded.

"you came in for a pelvic ultrasound and test two days ago, due to intense, recurring abdominal pain, correct?"

"mhm," she nodded again.

the doctor furrowed her brows at the reports, turning back to rowan. "is there anything else you'd like to tell me? any other pain? discomfort? irregular periods?"

"it's mainly just cramps so bad that i can't even walk," she responded. "a little bit of back pain, but nothing else really hurts. sometimes i feel sick though. and my period's always been a little weird."

"hmm," the doctor noted. she turned back to rowan, passing over two ultrasound photos -- the printed results of her ultrasound a few days ago. "you see the tissue clumps right here? that's a type of tissue similar to the lining of your uterus."

rowan examined the ultrasound, barely able to make out what the doctor was explaining. it had nothing to do with the ultrasound, but it was simply the fact that rowan was unable to ever see ultrasounds.

her parents had once tried to surprise her with the ultrasound of her youngest brother when they were pregnant, and she had no idea what it was.

"well, this tissue isn't in your uterus," the doctor explained. "it's growing outside, which may cause bloating, especially around your period."

"that's what's causing the pain?" rowan asked. "uterus tissue not growing in my uterus?"

"it's a condition called endometriosis," the doctor told her. "you might've heard of it."

"i have, yeah," rowan muttered. she might've heard of it, but she didn't know much about it.

"there's no cure for this, but there are treatments," the doctor told her. "hormone therapy, iuds -- surgery's also an option. the treatments can relieve your pain, they can increase your fertility, they--"

"wait, what?" rowan cut in. "it affects fertility?"

"in many women, yes," the doctor told her. "you won't know for sure unless you try to get pregnant, but there is a solid chance you may be infertile. if you'd like, we can do more tests..."

the rest of the doctor's words seemed to go straight through rowan's ears. she was hearing them, but she wasn't understanding them.

she heard joe say something to the doctor, who nodded in understanding and left them in the room. the door closed behind her, and it was as if the spell had lifted.

"hey, look at me," joseph said to her, cupping her chin in his hands. "it's going to be okay. you're okay."

"i just -- i'm scared," rowan whispered, finally speaking. "i never thought about being a mom before, and now that i might not be able to be one -- this is so stupid, why am i like this?"

"don't do that," joe told her sternly. "don't invalidate your feelings. you were just informed of a health condition, you're allowed to be emotional over whatever part of it you want."

"i'm still mad about that stupid doctor too," she whispered, voice cracking as more tears welled up in her eyes.

"you should be mad about that too, he was a dick," joseph agreed.

rowan closed her eyes, leaning forward and letting joe wrap his arms around her.

"whatever's next, i'm here for you," he promised her. "we're doing this together."

in that moment, rowan knew, they were going to take it step by step, and they were going to do it together.

---

note: before someone goes crazy, rowan doesn't think being a mom is her only purpose in life yadda, yadda -- she's just in shock. she has siblings that are much younger than her, and she loves babies. she never expected to possibly be infertile so the news is shocking to her. that's all, thanks <3 also if you feel like i depicted smth wrong, please let me know (nicely is all i ask)

#naqia's au's!#naqia writes!#pricey shots and brick wolls! au #nhl fic #hockey fanfiction #hockey x reader #nhl x reader

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mlmxreader · 1 year

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At Sunrise | Simon Ghost Riley x gn!reader

anonymous asked: Ghost with What I really mean, yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

summary: nothing lasts forever, not even the sweetest of things.

tws: swearing, mentions of death and war

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

As much as Ghost loved to be at home and to not be stuck in the middle of a warzone where every bullet coming his way had his name on it, where men were shot down in mud and screamed for their mothers, where poison gas creeped out of the crevices, he knew he wouldn't be home forever. He had been given two weeks to be home.

Now he was left with a final night; at sunrise, he would have to pack his things and to head to the airport for the middle of the afternoon, unable to even stay for dinner. Nothing ever lasted forever, even if he wished it would have. Even if he wished he could have stayed. But at sunrise, he would have to go, and he knew he would regret it more than anything else.

At sunrise, there would be so many things to do with such little time to do them; many years had passed and yet you and Ghost still felt as if only seconds had passed since your very first kiss. When he had raised his pint of run to tell his teammates about his best friend - it was almost fate that you had ever gotten together in the first place.

Half past seven in the evening, sunrise was a long way away even though it still felt as if there was no time to be held and to have; if time together was a chest of gold at the bottom of the salt sea, you would have become a pirate to claim it for yourself. So selfish that you would have killed to have just a few more hours with Ghost.

The light of the television was dull and soft, a lazy red light glaring through the room; the sound of 'Prison Song' by System Of A Down so quiet that even a pin dropping would have been louder. Lying next to you, Ghost flicked through his copy of '1984' as he allowed you to rest your head on his chest.

He could feel you humming along to the song and he failed miserably at trying to hide his smile while he did his best to concentrate on his book; but his focus was starting to dwindle the more he kept looking at you, the more he kept trying not to smile.

No one had ever tried to love him until you came along; if you ever got hurt, he would happily burn the entire planet down without a second thought. He has no intention of ever leaving you, he would stay right at your side until your bones turned to soil and there was nothing left for him; he might have been a phantom, but he would always be your Ghost. He would haunt you until there was nothing to haunt.

You knew him too well, knew that there was something on his mind, so you dared to clear your throat as you looked up at him. "All good, phantom?"

The smile on his lips told you everything you needed to know.

Ghost nodded slowly as he put his book down and rested his arm on you. "Yeah, actually... for once, I'm all good."

You smiled back at him, moving to straddle his waist as 'Alestorm' by Alestorm started to play; ever so softly, you cupped his face in your hands, trying not to laugh as his thick stubble tickled your skin. Ghost noticed, daring to allow his smile to turn to a grin.

"You're so pretty when you smile."

He let out a quiet laugh, quirking a brow. "Yeah?"

"Well, what I really mean, yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen," you shrugged as you gently pressed yourself further into him, wanting to steal just a bit more contact. "You're fucking pretty, Ghost, the prettiest man I've ever seen in my life. Y'know that, right?"

Ghost really wanted to roll his eyes but was unable to bring himself to do so, so he just sat there and smiled, hoping to hear more; he could listen to you for hours, for days. He would do anything for you, he adored you so much more than he could ever see or show you. At sunrise, things would change, and if Ghost had things his way, the fucking sun would be gone.

"Don't say goodbye," you said softly, quietly. "Tomorrow, when you leave, don't say goodbye."

He frowned, shaking his head. "I'd say it until the dawn of Monday, just so I won't have to leave."

You swallowed thickly, closing your eyes for a moment as you took a shaky breath, chewing at the inside of your lip. "Just don't say goodbye - I don't want you to leave, pretty boy."

He wasn't sure who hated good-byes more; at first, he hated to say it and he despised when the moment came that he would have to leave, but now... now you begged him to stay every time. Begged him to keep haunting you even if it meant that he would never leave again; you begged and begged, and he wished, he really wished, he could have stayed.

Ghost wanted to stay, of course he did, but he also had a job to do, and he knew that he couldn't do it if he stayed at home; he knew he couldn't do it if he stayed where he wanted to be. He wanted to stay more than anything, to always be the ghost in your halls, to always be the phantom in the window and the ghoul in the attic; he wanted to stay, he wanted to keep haunting you, but he knew he couldn't.

At sunrise, he would need to start packing, and although he knew that he never wanted it to leave his mouth, Ghost would need to say goodbye; he just wanted to keep haunting you, to be there at your side no matter what, but he knew he couldn't. He knew that when dawn broke, he would need to get going.

Ghost wished he could have stayed.

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sunhatllama · 17 days

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20 Questions for Fic Authors

Thank you so so much @silvercap for the tag!! I love these games :DD

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 22 works on ao3!

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

237,770 words and counting :))

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I have written for a few things over the past few years, but right now I am writing pretty exclusively for Resident Evil, though I do have a Call of Duty fic in progress that might see the light someday.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(Im going to go with only Resident Evil ones because i said so)

1) what are you willing to sacrifice for peace? - my Vendetta fic! also the start of my connected chreon series

2) Please Don't Leave Me - a Leon sickfic I haven't gotten around to finishing yet lmaoooo (also part of the chreon series)

3) in my dreams, we're far away from here - part two of the chreon series, a 3+1 with carrying as the theme :))

4) When I need you, you're always there - another part of the chreon series, Leon has a nightmare

5) all it takes is a snap - my singular whumptober fic with hurt Leon haha (chreon ofc)

None of my newer fics are getting traction but thats okay! gonna enlighten as many people to the hurt Chris agenda

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! i sometimes am busy and forget to, but if i see one i usually comment back!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

To be fair, I haven't killed anyone off yet. All my fics end happy because my poor heart can't take a bad ending.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oooo, good question...either what are you willing to sacrifice for peace? or in my dreams, we're far away from here because of happy chreon :))

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet, but I don't get too much engagement anyway. I don't think I have had the opportunity to get any. Haven't gotten any hate here either.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I do!! I used to not, but now that I kind of know how it's done, I've been experimenting and practicing. Most of my fics nowadays have sex scenes in them (or multiple) but i have written a pure smut fic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

I haven't! I'm not the biggest fan of crossovers and often avoid reading them because I'm not interested. Doesn't mean they're bad though. Just not my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not! Not that I'm aware of at least.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not (though if you wanna, please ask! I'm very open to it)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I have! I am actually in a roleplay server and have a writing partner. We have been turning many an rp in a fic for you guys! Like I can't escape this now, unless you show me how (mine and @leon-thot-kennedy 's re 5 chreon au)

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

CHREON!!! I have liked a lot of ships from other fandoms, but chreon is without a doubt my favorite Resident Evil ship as well as all around ship. Other ships are just fine but chreon is my OTP, the source of all happiness in my life.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh definitely Please Don't Leave Me. I have an outline and a plan and everything, just haven't had the juice to write hurt Leon nowadays. I hope to come back to it though!!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't actually know haha. No one has told me anything, but I like to think I do suspense fairly well? Not as good as other people but I'm still learning! This year marks my fourth year of writing though so that's exciting :))

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely balancing dialogue, action, and internal thoughts. I always have too much of one of those. Also I tend to reuse phrases or sentence structure and I need to learn to spice it up a little lmaoo

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think writing dialogue in another language is perfectly fine. Especially if the character speaks another language. You just have to be aware that not everyone will understand what is being said. But if it's essential to the plot, saying that they said it in another language works too.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek (2009) or the reboot movies lmao. It's funny, I started out not shipping anyone, but then started to ship Jim and Bones. But then I watched the original series and shipped Spirk in the old series. So I actually think that this was my first foray into shipping men together. Haven't been the same since hehehehe.

I was into Star Trek for about a year and a half! longest to date and I would say it was my first true hyperfixation. Resident Evil is creeping up on length though haha.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Favorite fic is hard but I actually REALLY like I can't escape this now, unless you show me how . It's my baby, my magnum opus. The best thing I have had a hand in creating (even if only half of it is mine). For fics that are purely mine, The Stars Were Out was the most fun to write with the forest and stuff. Was kind of experimental but it was fun to try and describe things a little better and draw out the scenes.

Tagging- @wisecrackingeric-2 , @spectralharvest , aaaaand i was going to tag more but I have suddenly forgotten every writer friend I know that hasn't already been tagged. If you see this, and wanna do it, go for it! <33333

#🦙 talks #writing game #fic game #love doing these!!

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veiledlinks-vn · 4 months

Text

Last update for 2023

Hellu, guys! I hope the year, with all of its ups and downs, has treated you well despite passing by in such a rush.

I got stuck in overtime hell at my workplace these past few months, so my productivity has been down to zero on pretty much everything, including VL. I'm sad and disappointed, since I'd wished to have something more concrete by now, like the demo or at least a release date for the demo, but I don't even have that. I sincerely apologise for the lack of updates; next year seems brighter (pepper pepper knock on wood).

However, that doesn't mean nothing has happened; there has been some work here and there wherever and whenever I've had time or energy to squeeze something in!

Ryouken's part of the demo is so, so, sooo close to be finished! Just a bit more, and it's editing and proofreading time!

I've also done a tiny overhaul on Yuusaku's route, mostly for the sake of keeping track on his route progressions without pulling my hair. And I've finally added Roboppi as a sprite, too! And with that, all the planned sprites are finished! Wohoo!

Takeru's demo parts are practically done (still need to finish the last CG for him), so I've just typed a bit here and there on his later parts/ship routes whenever inspiration's struck me. We're getting there, even if it's slow.

I've also done some belated GUI work and gotten those last things exactly how I want them, but that's not very interesting, I believe. ^^;;;

That's about it for now, unless I start throwing around more spoiler-y screenshots.

Have a happy new year, everyone! See you all in 2024! ♥♥♥

#yugioh vrains #ygo vrains #vrains #veiled links #visual novel #devlog

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utilitycaster · 10 months

Note

Just wondering.... why is the Imodna codependency such an issue meanwhile no one had a problem with the codependency between Widobrave?

Hi anon, this is a great question!

I've actually covered this - I don't think their situations are as comparable as many people think! Here's the post about that in case you haven't seen it. And, as the anon in that post points out, Widobrave did get a lot of pushback and hate, actually. It sounds like you might be very new to the fandom, so I want to give some gentle advice: it's worth being careful about assuming a certain form of discourse did not occur. Often, it has. I understand it's difficult to prove a negative (ie, that Widobrave did not receive hate) and it's even more difficult to do so via the Tumblr search, but Caleb and Veth's relationship was frequently criticized, diminished, and treated as not just insistently platonic, but also strictly familial. But back to the original question: I think that Caleb and Veth far more quickly built other relationships and were able to express anger with each other - Veth's outburst towards Caleb in episode 48 is a standout moment that resulted in a greater understanding, and I think I'd feel much more positively towards Imogen and Laudna as a potential romance had Laudna been able to make the same accusation, that Imogen's people did this. Was it a fair accusation from Veth? No! But it eventually cleared the air, whereas Imogen and Laudna keep sweeping everything under the rug, ignoring that the rug is now so lumpy they can barely walk without failing.

Another reason is simple numbers and recency. Widobrave, as of this post, has about 280 fics on ao3. Imodna has 1,085. This increased popularity may indeed lead to increased scrutiny. We're also, as the previous paragraph hints, talking about a ship that is in an ongoing campaign, so you're going to see far more posts talking about it than a ship from a past campaign, simply because it's still unfolding and is the subject of current discussion! Recency bias is a very real thing, and it can be difficult to adjust for, but when making this sort of comparison, it is vital to do so.

I would also be remiss if I did not address the elephant in the room, which is the nature of the fans who ship them. I'm sure this question is intended in earnest good faith, but I'm afraid I've gotten a pretty significant amount of harassment specifically from people who ship Imogen and Laudna together and don't like anyone who points out the flaws in their relationship. I've never received the same from people who shipped Caleb and Veth, despite never really shipping the latter, and indeed, and this is obviously my limited experience, but the people I follow who do ship Widobrave often embrace the flaws and conflict inherent in the ship. There are many Imodna shippers who are wonderful - especially those who do like to explore the flaws and codependency and how it might one day resolve - but, understandably, those few bad actors attempting to ignore the lack of development in the relationship or even worse, advocating for it, have really been very unpleasant to deal with. As a result, it's led me to consider more deeply why I find Imogen and Laudna's relationship uninteresting, romantically, and so that's probably another factor in why I specifically have explored Imogen and Laudna's issues far more than Caleb and Veth's. (For me personally, it's also that I was a lurker for the first year of the Mighty Nein campaign; I was binging Campaign 1 concurrently and didn't finish until July 2018, and didn't make this blog until around New Year's 2019, so I've written comparatively fewer thoughts about early Campaign 2). But getting back to the previous point, I think something people who send hate or baiting questions on anon may not always realize is that it often has the opposite effect as intended; it leads people to defend their opinions, and in doing so often strengthens their convictions as they find more evidence, which leads them to make even more posts!

Anyway, I hope this helps - obviously, this is only my perspective, and I sincerely hope anyone else of whom you ask this question extends the same good faith, honesty, and openness to other perspectives that you are bringing. I do however urge you to at minimum attempt to find some discussion from the era of early Campaign 2 to get a better understanding of how Widobrave was treated, just to ensure better responses to your inquiries. Anyway, welcome to the fandom!

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag

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slutforstabbings-archive · 11 months

Text

Number 5 with a Bullet - May

read on AO3 | tumblr masterpost

older!rockstar!Eddie Munson x Reader/unnamed OC a multimedia diary fic

An unnamed diary writer working at a record label meets retired rockstar Eddie Munson when he's hired as the producer for an upcoming band's first album. Despite the 20+ year age gap and Eddie's checkered past, the chemistry between them is instant and they fall for each other alarmingly fast. But their budding romance can't stay private forever. Will she be able to handle the pressure of being a rockstar's girlfriend? Can multiple-divorcé Eddie finally make a relationship last? And what will the record company, the tabloids, and Eddie's semi-estranged adult children have to say about it?

general contents/warnings for this fic: angst, fluff, smut (MDNI), 20+ year age gap, past substance abuse issues, past sex work, multiple kinks no specific warnings for these entries

810 words

@rebel-blue @wolvesandvampires @toxicanonymity @hersweetrevenge @cordelium dm me or reply to this post to be added to my tag list 💕

transcript below the cut

20 May

Work has been so fucking boring lately. Festival season is in full swing and all the bands being out on the road means nobody is in the studio. I have a dull couple of months ahead of me. Most of the year it’s extremely fun, but studio manager summers suck.

And this is my fifth one! Fuck, I’ve been doing this a long time. Might be at the point where I should start angling for a promotion or something. I’ll bring it up to Rina. She’s climbed almost all the way to the top of the ladder – they announced a couple weeks ago she’s going to be the new director of A+R. I’m not sure what my options for moving up really are, but I know if Rina’s director she’ll have my back.

Seems like pretty much any job title would get me more interesting summers than this. Most of my coworkers and most of my non-work friends are gone somewhere doing something. A lot of them are on tour too, playing or managing or doing lights. The ones that aren’t are renting a beach house or living in Europe for a few months. The label offices are a ghost town and so is my calendar.

Maybe I’ll use some of my vacation time, take advantage of my connections to actually go to a festival for once. I already missed Coachella but that doesn’t bother me at all, that’s not the kind of festival I want. I think I’ll look for something much smaller, more curated, more niche, and NOT in California. A little east coast trip sounds so nice.

22 May

I didn’t even get a chance to look for a small east coast fest before I decided I’m staying home this summer. The best email I’ve ever gotten in my entire fucking life was waiting for me when I got back from lunch.

There’s the band, Apologetic Weapons. I’m friends with the members, especially the bassist, Nicky (we went on one date – no spark but we’ve been buddies ever since). I’ve been going to their shows since their second or third gig. I remember the first night I saw them, getting in my car and opening my work email immediately. Rina had been on the discovery team for a while by then and I was like keep an eye on these guys. All they had at the time was an instagram with ONE post.

Then last year they did a self-release that was so fucking good. I sent that to Rina too, and she said they were already negotiating a deal. I fucking called it! I couldn’t be happier for them, they’re gonna be fucking huge. The email was a request to book them studio time.

It’s so dope, it’s my first time working with a band I've followed since the beginning! But that’s not even all of it…

THE PRODUCER IS GONNA BE EDDIE FUCKING MUNSON!

Holy shit!!!!! When I read the email my jaw was on the fucking floor.

Corroded Coffin is like, everything to me. They were my first favorite band, Mom used to play them in the car for me all the time. I got sent home to change in school so many times for my collection of “inappropriate” CC t-shirts. I fucking cried when Eddie announced that he was retiring because I only got to see them twice 🙁 But I heard these rumors that he got his GED and went to college for audio engineering. Can you imagine sitting in a fucking college lecture and THE Eddie Munson asks to borrow a pen?? Anyway, I guess this means the rumors are true!

I respect that a lot. He’s been a megastar for like, 30 some odd years and plenty of other artists get into production with no formal training or anything, but he still put in the work. He seems like a pretty decent guy, unlike some of his peers. It’s such a low bar to just like, not hit your wife, not fuck around with underage girls, and not say stupid shit about minorities, but these old fuckers keep tripping over it anyway. Not Eddie tho. He’s far from perfect – substance abuse, arrests, car accidents, four ex-wives, all those pictures and videos that leaked – but he’s been out of the headlines for years, and I’ve never heard any industry people say anything bad about him.

And the man himself is aging like a fine wine. He’s always been stupidly beautiful, but in recent pictures his iconic hair is salt and pepper, and he’s got these deep crows feet and lines on his forehead. Somehow it all works to make him even hotter. I can’t believe I get to meet him and work adjacent to him. This summer is actually gonna be so fun.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #rockstar!eddie munson #older!eddie #mine #slutforart #em

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thebroccolination · 6 months

Note

It's 2:30am and I can't sleep AND I'm bored. So I'm goin around asking some of my fave blogs/writers to play a game of either/or........ready?

(Please don't hate me, this is just for fun 😁)

Reading Fanfic or Writing Fanfic

Boun or Krist

Romance or Sci-Fi Fantasy

UWMA or BUTS

SOTUS or BMF

Reaper Storyline or Time Loop Storyline

WinTeam or KawiPi

Watch the Movie/Series or Read the Book

You don't have to answer if you don't want to but if you do, you can't cheat! You can only choose one or the other NOT both! Okay? GO!

P.S. I love your writing, Key! Thank you for all your lovely fics ❤️❤️❤️

Awwww, first of all: thank you so much. :') This is a really sweet thing to wake up to. :'''')

Also incredibly evil.

-- Reading Fanfic or Writing Fanfic --

Honestly—and this surprises me—writing! I tried to imagine not being able to do one ever again and I'd be more upset if I could never write fic again.

-- Boun or Krist --

Before this year, I would've said Boun, but right now, it's Krist.

I've always thought of BounPrem and KristSingto as the "main pairs" I follow, and even though Krist and Singto aren't officially a branded pair anymore, I still follow them separately. So I'm kind of a, uh, BounPrem, Krist, Singto fan now asdfghkj

When Between Us ended and BounPrem said they wouldn't have another series together for a while, I moved my focus to Krist because he had Be My Favorite coming up, and I'd been excited for BMF since 2021. And now, since I've followed Krist so closely this year, since I've gone back and familiarized myself more with his past work, and since I was fortunate enough to meet him in person last month and see for myself how kind and sincere and good he is, I'm very invested in seeing him happy and succeed the way he deserves. (Like, it's very clear why he's so beloved when you look into who he actually is, so it's been surreal to see how desperately interfans want to hate him. I was in his restaurant with other fans when GMMTV finally released a statement in his defense, and it was such a relief, I teared up. Some interfans are trying the "he used to be a bad person but he's better now" take at the moment, so I'm just waiting for them to take the next step and admit that he was never a monster in the first place and that hundreds of interfans have gleefully tortured him and trashed his reputation for years based on misinformation.)

Like I keep saying: the loudest anti-Krist voices are interfans. If he actually was what they claim, wouldn't his most ardent antis be from his own country? I've spoken to Thai fans of different actors: this is an interfan bandwagon that got blown out of proportion.

Now, of course, Krist and Boun have always been pretty closely tied in my heart, so if you talk to me once the BounPrem vampire series airs, I'll be focused on BounPrem again. I'm not one of those "you have to follow everything someone does or else you're a fake fan" people, so I only watch what I like. BounPrem have been doing a lot of fanmeetings and separate work this year that I wasn't interested in following, so I've just been patiently waiting for the vampire series to air. Even though I don't even like vampires. I just love BounPrem that much. :')

-- Romance or Sci-Fi/Fantasy --

Sci-Fi/Fantasy! I'm writing a fantasy novel right now, and most of my favorite stories are in the sci-fi/fantasy/speculative genres. :D

-- Until We Meet Again or Between Us the Series --

UWMA!

It was my first Thai BL series, and it launched my whole fandom life here. It still has such a strong presence in my memories, and I think it was a true labor of love from every angle.

I think BounPrem were incredible in Between Us, but I don't think Between Us was the series they deserved. In the months since it ended, I've gotten more critical of how Between Us was handled and it's dropped quite a few spaces on my list. I think if they had stuck closer to the novel, removed BeePrince completely, used fewer flashbacks, fewer UWMA clips, and not tried to cram six musical tracks into some scenes to guide viewers' emotions, it would have been a stronger series. I honestly get the impression New did it for BounPrem rather than out of a genuine love for the characters, and that might be why it didn't have the spark UWMA does. I think it was a labor of love for BounPrem, and I think New loves BounPrem, but I don't think he loved WinTeam's story as much as he loved DeanPharm's. Not his fault, but a different director might've been a better choice for the project.

-- SOTUS or Be My Favorite --

Be My Favorite!

From 2020-2022 my top three were 1) UWMA, 2) SOTUS, and 3) DBK, but then I did an honest reevaluation and realized that over time, SOTUS has had just a tiny bit more of an emotional impact on me than UWMA, so it took the top spot. And of course Triage came along and blasted up to take DBK's spot.

As soon as I saw the teaser in 2021, I knew I'd love Be My Favorite, I just never expected it to…Be My Favorite. \:D/

It's time travel, it's Krist, it's Gawin, it's queer as fuck, and it's the closest to perfect I've seen yet. Ever since it ended, I've just been in this bubble of bliss. I can't believe it exists, that we got such a perfect casting, that Gawin and Krist became so close, that they see each other as family now, that that chemistry is so clear in the series. It's just one of those significant series that rearranges your brain chemistry, like SOTUS, UWMA, and DBK before it were for me. <3

-- Reaper Storyline or Time Loop Storyline --

Okay, so with the understanding that most subject material can be great in the hands of a great storyteller, just from a, "Hey, Key, this series/book/TV show has a __ storyline," basis, I'll go with Time Loop. Time shenanigans is one of the fastest way to hook me (Be My Favorite, Triage, I Feel You Linger, etc.).

-- WinTeam or KawiPi --

WinTeam. Always, always WinTeam. :')

They're just the ultimate OTP for me. Of any series, movie, book, anything. I think it'll always be WinTeam for me.

-- Watch the Movie/Series or Read the Book --

Hmm. For Thai BL: series. In general: book. From what I understand, a lot of the novels Thai BL series are based on tend to be very rough. Like, written and uploaded by the author without an editing process or even a beta reader in the middle. LazySheep (Red Thread/UWMA, Hemp Rope/BU) is an indie author, though. She's with Hermit Books, and she's mentioned her editor on Twitter, and I think the extra steps she takes in the process of publishing her novels show in how polished her stories are compared to the average Thai BL novel.

#kiranokira answers #this was fun :D #thank you for the distraction \:D/

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iraprince · 1 year

Text

OKAY HEHE (<said forcefully and with real cheer) u guys have buried me in type-of-guy asks... i really like them + theyre making me very happy but i'm gonna round em off for today so i don't spam the hell out of everyone's timelines. thank u tho this is fun.

also sorry if i get introspective like three times a week set off by nothing but i can't help it so. like also genuinely this is enjoyable for me bc... like.... i have gotten pretty hostile toward the internet in general esp the past few years, and also specifically when ur following online suddenly blows up everything abruptly kind of becomes scary and uncomfortable and way less fun, and so it has. like. really been a while since i've had fun talking to strangers online. but i have been having fun joking around and riffing and shit on here in a way that i had kind of stopped doing 'on main' for a while, bc it felt like if i relaxed too much i was like, inviting people to be parasocial and weird to me and shit. like my mindset kind of started to turn into "agh, NO, another person on the internet has been a weird rude freak to me!!!! it is because my defenses were not impenetrable enough!!! I MUST BECOME LESS FRIENDLY SO THIS NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN" instead of like, "agh, someone was a weird rude freak to me. that was a weird choice for them to make and an unpleasant experience for me to have. good thing most people are normal and nice" ykwim

anyway good night i am goign to go do something thats not internet. thanks 4 being cool and nice!

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ragnarlothcat · 6 months

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I was tagged by @veloursdor (thank you 🥰) and I have a sore throat and am responding from the centre of a pile of blankets. I am cozy and my mouth tastes like chai (also teeth, probably).

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

27 apparently! I should have a 30th birthday party for my account once we reach that point.

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

446,791. Definitely thought I was over 500k by now but that's writer's block for you. I've written half as much this year as I did last year. But if I really apply myself in the next two months...

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars only at the moment. I've toyed with branching out but I've decided that any spare inspiration goes to original fiction instead.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

à la carte - I think this is the fic I'm most known for? Inasmuch as I'm known for things anyway. Glad people are still enjoying it!

Aggressive Negotiations - I had no idea this one was second now. Good for it! This is one of my hornier Obi-Wans, which is saying something given how I write the guy.

as holy and enchanted - Only two chapters but it contains as much sex as a much longer work. Efficient!

nothing compares to you - hasn't been updated since February 2022 but I guess some people like seeing Anakin fling himself against the Force like an angry cat trying to break down a door.

Out of the Bag - catboy Anakin my beloved, my original poor little meow meow.

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I was good about it for a while because I like talking to people about my fics but then in like December of last year I burned out a little and stopped replying but kept posting fics and then the situation got out of control. I started replying again over the summer and have just decided that everything between like December 2022 and June 2023 exists in a weird little no-reply bubble.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably my most recent fic, from a certain point of view. It ends okay for Obi-Wan and Anakin at least?

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The fics that have endings are almost all happy endings 🤔 à la carte, maybe? There are a bunch of non-obikin characters who also have nice things happen to them so maybe it's extra happy.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I guess the closest I've gotten are snarky comments about my lack of updates but those people do seem to like the fic. They're just not crazy about the author.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yup! It's funny, I described my smut as vanilla but it's all relative isn't it? I think by many standards obikin itself is pretty kinky.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do not. The closest is probably as holy and enchanted because I definitely borrowed Indiana Jones vibes for my Anakin, but nothing beyond that.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware so if so, the thief made a clean getaway!

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few! Actually the funniest thing I did was immediately paste the text into google translate so I could see what was going on before realizing that, uh, I already know what it says in English...

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope! I've talked about doing it a few times but I worry that I'd be a nightmare to work with since I'm not great at sticking by a project.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

At this point it has to be obikin. I've never maintained interest for this long in any fandom before. It's the combination of interesting and handsome characters with a setting ripe for fix-its. And then it's fun making weird AUs with them too? They're just excellent!

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I mean never say never but Murder at Theed Hall is extraordinarily unlikely. I write mystery original fiction (well, write is a strong word recently but like...I have a pile of disjointed paragraphs?) so I just don't feel the drive to resolve the story.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I keep answering "dialogue" for the various iterations of this question but like, how embarrassing if everyone else thinks my dialogue sucks? I stand by it anyway but the idea weighs on me!

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I think my biggest weakness is all the time I spend beating myself up for clumsy phrasing or slow output so my new answer is I have no weaknesses and everything I'm doing is on purpose. Yay me!

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've never had a reason to do this. The most I can imagine is a quick "Anakin said something to Artoo in binary" but otherwise I'd probably translate into English. Is that frowned upon???

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I was like 13 and it's exactly what you'd imagine.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

It depends on my mood! In my current mood I'll pick my baseball fic The Bottom of the Ninth because I really wrote 40k about obikin playing baseball. I was my target audience and I had a great time. No regrets!

Tagging (does it say how many? I'll just do a few) and as always, no pressure: @renlyslittlerose, @treescape, @intermundia, @artemisthehuntress, @lilredghost

#tag game #five people seems like a good number #also i'm coughing now too #if i'm sick i'm going to be so mad #it's like my body doesn't even care about all the writing i want to do

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gwydionae · 6 months

Text

Ok, serious question for One Piece fans.

Here's the TL;DR:

I'm at Fishman Island in the anime. I know lots of future spoilers for WCI and Wano. I love pre-time skip Sanji and WCI Sanji. I hate Fishman Island Sanji. The question is, as a Sanji fan, how much disappointment should I prepare for in Punk Hazard/Dressrosa/etc until WCI? Is he going to stay this obnoxious until then?

And here's the rather long explanation rant because sometimes you just gotta vent:

I started reading the manga, like, 20 years ago, but I dropped it during the Fishman Island arc. There were many reasons for this (some unrelated to OP entirely), but a big one was Sanji. He had always been my favorite character, and while there had been moments pre-time skip that I didn't love (see: Clear Clear Fruit and it's improper uses), I found he became downright insufferable after it. I don't have to love everything about a character for them to be my favorite, but FI pushed me past my limit.

I have since skimmed through Whole Cake Island and bits of Wano due to seeing spoilers that made me believe that may have changed over time, and I did really like the parts that I read. Well, most of them, anyway (see: invisibility and it's improper uses, Sanji). So between that and hype over the live action version, I went back and started watching the anime for the first time.

I am once again in the early goings of Fishman Island, and I am STRUGGLING. Every time Sanji is on screen my brain is warring between remembering what I like about his character and what I'm seeing play out currently. He used to be overly fond and protective of woman, to the point that his inability to fight them hindered the crew. Now he's an active pervert drooling in the face of every pretty woman who is hindering the crew simply by bleeding to death at the sight of any woman including his own crewmates. Had this happened, like, once, MAYBE twice, ok, it's a dumb gag, but whatever. But it's not a one off gag. It just keeps going, to the point where it doesn't feel like a gag anymore so much as an actual character trait. It's like his flaws (which can make for interesting character drama, like his inability to physically harm Kalifa) are now his core personality, and everything I liked about him isn't even there anymore. Heck, part of his training was to learn to cook foods to help his crew, and he hasn't even cooked anything yet, and he was separated from his crew for two years!

(Ugh, don't mind me, just unearthing feelings buried real deep a decade ago. ANYWAY)

I know he gets better. He'll never feel quite like his pre-time skip (especially pre-Thriller Bark) self again, but I know that WCI adds in some really interesting layers to his character, and while Wano still has his perviness turned up a bit higher than I'd prefer, there's real depth to his character to keep him from sinking back into the one note gag that is Fishman Island. He will get growth. He will go back to being an enjoyable and rounded character one day.

I just really need to know exactly how long I have to wait for that to happen.

Sanji is (obviously) not the only thing I like about One Piece. I like nearly all of the Straw Hats, I've gotten attached to more than a few side characters over time, and the fact that it's so long and hasn't (to my knowledge) felt like a mad scramble of retcons is highly impressive.

But here on good old tumblr, I expect people to understand about the blorbos. They're different. They're special. And feeling like I wish one of them would finally succumb to death by nosebleed is, to put it mildly, not ideal.

And thus the question at hand. Because if I have to put up with this Sanji all the way until WCI, I might just scream. But at least if I have the warning ahead of time, I'll know to expect it rather than fruitlessly hoping he gets better before then.

Just give it to me straight, doc. How bad is it?

(The one thing I know of him between now and WCI is that his mind/soul/?? gets stuck in Nami's body - not sure for how long or what all he... does... in there, though. So please spoil that for me. I do not want that kind of surprise.)

#one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #sanji is not a vinsmoke #sanji one piece #one piece sanji #help an old fan out guys please #man #i have been wanting to vent about this for ten years now XD #got too distracted by turtles to bother back then though so i'm doing it now lol #old lady yells at cloud

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baddingtonbitch · 7 months

Note

pls tell us ur thoughts on veganism (#2 from the ask thing)

my thoughts are good! i've been exclusively plant based before for years and i had a largely good experience with it, and i think it's a great thing to do for people who want to and are able but i also completely understand not wanting to. i also think it very often gets made out to be something it's not, but every diet and lifestyle has adherents who are kinda...deranged and misrepresent it. there are people who hate vegans for very stupid reasons and there are also vegans who are very hateable for very good reasons that are not their diet (usually extremely problematic influencers) but like, vegans aren't monolithic so it can all get pretty frustrating and exhausting to witness the media try to come to some singular conclusion about a huge movement and massive number of people based on a really myopic view of very loud and bad examples.

like anti-vegan raw meat fitness bros and shithead podcasters who antagonise vegans are putrid but so are the vegans who view themselves as morally bulletproof for loving animals while being very privileged, out of touch and racist, wearing plastic fur and leather, shaming people in food deserts or referring to sustainable and traditional practices of indigenous cultures as "barbaric".

it's also not a miracle cure or protective spell against cancer and people who tout it as one are fucking cunts. there's a few public figures here in australia who have done a lot to make vegans look completely insane, saying it will cure anything from covid to brain cancer or smearing themselves in blood and shrieking at people in restaurants. but then there are also always people who are eager to denigrate everyday vegans for nothing at all.

but in my own experience i've never really gotten into any irl discourse with anyone about it, every vegan i've known personally was very normal about it and so was i when it was a part of my life. the people who make asses out of themselves on either side duking it out online and in the media in some kind of eternal hot take battle clearly have bigger issues than what they do or don't put in their mouths and on their bodies. they mostly have a lot of misplaced anger or shame or really any combination of vitriol and distress and this is one of the hills they've chosen to loudly die on as a coping mechanism. at the end of the day their main issue is that they haven't made peace with the limits of their own influence and their sphere of control and it's broken their brains so the anti-vegans hatefully obsess over people not eating bacon and the unhinged self-appointed ambassadors of veganism do reprehensible shit like comparing eating animals to the holocaust. like when piers morgan interviewed tash peterson i wanted the studio to collapse and kill them both lol

in my own experience, my own circle and my own day to day life it has been a primarily positive thing. the main negative i've experienced and the reason i'm not currently exclusively plant based (or exclusively anything) is that following any kind of specific or rule based diet has triggered a relapse into disordered eating for me in the past. that's a whooooole different conversation for another time lol but i'll just say that the vast majority of what i eat now is plant based, and when it comes to the fraction of my diet that isn't, i'm not going to guilt myself over it. while i can't claim to be doing EVERYTHING i can, i'm doing as much as i can while prioritising my mental health and enjoyment of life and i'm a lot healthier now doing that, physically and mentally, than i was when i was a raw vegan letting the concepts of morality and purity and right and wrong in regards to food trigger me into a greenwashed relapse.

i also have the awareness to know that my subjective experience with that pitfall is not the fault of vegan philosophy, just a distortion of it peddled by "wellness" culture that i was particularly susceptible to given my past experiences. and besides, charlatans are not exclusive to veganism, the people on tiktok spruiking raw liver diets and borax smoothies also claim to be doing it in the pursuit of some nebulous ideal of "wellness" so....

basically in conclusion i still personally see the value in being as plant based as i can feasibly and comfortably be, but my relationship to food has been so complex and difficult in the past that i'm ok with pursuing something i see as worthwhile without allowing shame or pursuit of perfection to factor in. and i've also got enough going on with my own relationship to food that i don't really care what anyone else puts in their mouths. if you're vegan or not, just do what you feel is right and what works for you and makes you happy. regardless of my own feelings on veganism and my own history and future with it, everyone and anyone else's diet is firmly outside of my jurisdiction and none of my business. we've seen how trying to dictate the dietary choices of other people has made both pro and anti vegan people become crazy assholes so let's just focus on our own choices because that's all any of us can really control.

(oh my god i didn't mean to write you a novel but all these thoughts just spilled out lol, sorry for the text wall and thank u for asking! <3<3)

#turns out i had a lot more thoughts on it than i knew lol #but yeah your diet is your business eat a cheeseburger or don't idc about anyone's diet but my own we're all gonna die anyway lol #p

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tsukidrama · 7 months

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hi!

i came across your blog the other day and i wanted to tell you that you have a really incredible writing gift. your cottagecore has me hooked and i can't wait to find out what comes next.

would you be ok sharing any ideas you might have?

- 🪻

oh? interest in TRNT and a new anon? yes please! 🥺 i would be happy to share some ideas

y'know, i actually have almost the entire fic planned out. i haven't intentionally abandoned the story... about once or twice a month the document gets opened and i'll write a few paragraphs, though i know that's not much. i feel like i've been going through something weird for the past year or so. i don't really know how to explain it properly. i haven't written a damn thing in so long.

between low engagement, me being sick all the time, and life being stressful (mostly this), this fic just hasn't come together the way i hoped it would. The Road Not Taken is still massively important to me and somewhat of a personal magnum opus so, i'll finish it... but i do not know when.

ideas below. i wrote more than i thought, and it's gotten me really excited about the fic again! please let me know if there's anything specific you'd like me to go into detail about

alright firstly:

the next big thing is what i've been calling the intervention arc. obviously we have to address some of the heavier emotional issues that both Annie and the reader have. nothing can move forward until our main characters are communicating again! both with each other and with their support system.

vacation arc! i want to write more about what's left of the world post-Rumbling on a global scale. i also need a reason to get them away from the cottage for a decent chunk of time so i thought i'd have them explore a bit.

there will be a subplot about the cats who live around the cottage, just for funsies. i have a chapter title planned for it and everything lmao

there will be a pretty major division amongst the eldians later on about some of them wanting to go back and live on Paradis. to be completely honest, i haven't decided how i want that to resolve and who, if anyone, is going to leave. but we have definitely not heard the last about Paradis. some assorted thoughts elaborating on that, and how the ending could potentially play out either way:

i don't know i should give EVERYONE a happy ending or not. my initial plan was to write what i think the characters would actually do in this post-Rumbling scenario i've imagined (let's call this Ending 1), but over time i've started to change my mind and be like: i'm not the mangaka and that ain't my job, so i should write my story the way i want. aka FUCK isayama, everybody gets a steven universe-esque happy ending (we'll call this one Ending 2) even though it might not be totally consistent with the way characters are written in aot.

i'd love to hear people's opinions about either ending btw

the largest difference that giving everyone a happy ending would have, is whether or not i decide to include Historia. i really adore her and in theory i want to give her a better ending considering how tragic she is, but where she's left in the end of the manga puts her in direct opposition with the narrative and the "not my monkeys, not my circus" attitude that the narrator feels so strongly about 😖 it would make me too sad to include Hisu at all if she's on the wrong side of things.

I want everyone to move away from all the politicking. they really don't have any business doing all o' that in my opinion... they're all early 20s AND child soldiers so like. please rest guys, you can be done with the whole saving the world thing...

after all, the idea of stepping away from the alliance and NOT continuing to involve themselves in global affairs IS the metaphorical road not taken

i do know how i want the fic to end in terms of Annie and reader, and it will be good. i don't wanna oversell it or hype it too much and then have it be underwhelming... but i'm hoping that their love story plays out in a way that people will call beautiful.

if i decide to go with Ending 1 then it will very much be a bittersweet narrative about how people naturally grow apart over time but everywhere you look there will be new sources of happiness and fulfillment etc.

Ending 2 would be much more idealistic. probably a bit unrealistic but it will give the characters ending that would make them happy and make us happy. true fix it fic style.

i think either would be cathartic for me to write in different ways so i really don't know where i want this to go yet. probably gonna wing it and see what feels right chapter by chapter.

I JUST HAVE TO ACTUALLY FUCKING WRITE IT

anyway like i said above the cut, i wrote a lot more than i thought i would. i got really into it pls send me more asks 🥺 it will light a fire under my ass and i'll finally finish chapter 10

#tsuki answers #🪻 anon #trnt annie #cottagecanon #this was so fun! and tysm for saying my writing is a gift teehee🤭

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adanaac · 10 months

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Could I ask about your OC's? Specifically Ophicucus and Tsuru, I love how majestic Ophi is drawn and Tsuru fascinates me both with the concept and also how lovely you have illustrated him.

I hope you are well, and thank you again for helping me with my questions o7.

Sincerely HMAD.

oh good i get to talk about my son!!

my blorbo my beloved my babygirl he means everything to me

i made him in 2017 so hes sort of grown up with me (or i've grown up and realised things about him that i couldn't have when i was younger. i have so many complicated feelings abt this that i made a short comic about it last year)

to preface this im not a great writer dont expect good writing from me lol all i have is my personal experience and stealing tropes from stories i like

(got a lot to say so its all going under the cut. also a lot of death mention)

So. who is this dude

Tsuru (not his real name in-story, i havent come up with one im happy with), 18 years old, a ghost

he has a little sister, Ori, 15, who was meant to be my sona but then i just drew him more and like drawing him more anyway

first 2 drawings i ever did of him. he was based off natori natsume yuujinchou at this point, i dont remember why or if i even liked natori that much, but i remember distinctly hes based off him

u may have noticed he sort of looks older in my older art. this is because first of all art style drift lol but also as ive gotten older ive figured out that 18 isnt actually that old.

theres also a black haired version of him (two actually) its basically something like this ⬇️

important to know that everything about this dude is a convoluted metaphor

i lovingly summarize white tsuru as "people pleaser" and black tsuru as "nihilist prick" in my head and those are the things consistent throughout all the AU versions of him

(important differences only to me) alive tsuru doesnt act like black tsuru at all thats just his warped self perception (he also doesnt act exactly like white tsuru either)

also alive tsuru has black eyes and the shortest hair, black tsuru has blue eyes and slightly longer hair (also white tsuru is slightly taller than both of them)

if they all existed at the same time they would hate each other on sight but fortunately (unfortunately?) he is just 1 dude with issues

the general vibe is white tsuru is the "yippee floaty trickster" brand of ghost and black tsuru is the sort of ghost in horror media that stands just outside your field of view in the darkness dripping with blood

for the longest time only white haired tsuru was a "character", "black haired tsuru" existed just as his corpse at most, a footnote

but over the past 2 years ive figured that hes actually really fun to draw and play with, and in a different way than white tsuru

(wait fuck isnt this just abe trio. i do always almost accidentally draw tsuru when im trying to draw haruaki.... fuck.....)

(ive had tsuru for long enough that i just keep tacking details from my fav characters onto him.....)

halls smp

so ive been on this minecraft roleplay server called halls smp with other artists for the past 2 years, theres a new season of it every few months with a different theme each time to keep things fresh and ive just been making AU versions of tsuru for it so ive had a lot of opportunity to think about him

season 1 - halloween - jiangshi tsuru

this one is almost entirely unchanged from his base characterization because i didnt want to rp too much and also didnt know there would be future seasons at this point (also basically after the first day i gave up on being called "tsuru" bc its too hard to pronounce and everyone called me canada anyway)

same basic story, guy dies and theres now a white haired version of him (actually this is the same for all the AUs). in fact im pretty sure the black haired version of this one is exactly base alivetsuru. basically what ive been interested in exploring is different kinds of death, the events leading up to it, and what kind of person he becomes afterwards (but also in equal amounts im interested in making fun designs and playing minecraft and fucking around)

(this feels like the start of the beginners guide...)

i associate him with doves and at the time, tarot card 18: the moon, but in retrospect i now think he's card 0: the fool.

season 2 - winter - ishmael

guy who died at sea and eaten by a interdimensional whale and got isekaied. loosely conceptually based off moby dick, although i havent actually read it LOL but i did spend a week reading up on drowning and hypothermia

strangely, his death didnt create a white haired version of him, perhaps because he didnt have anything in life to give up his identity and replace it with. (and also remember the hair color doesnt actually mean dead/alive)

im only calling him ishmael now in retrospect, at the time he was just tsuru/canada

while designing him i had the biggest crisis bc i didnt want him to look to much like this old old oc i had (pic 1) but then i sucked it up and went with it anyway

i never got around to drawing it but his fingers are black from frostbite thats why he wears gloves all the time.

hes one of my favorite iterations of tsuru he looks so mad or upset all the time it makes me want to tease him, and also i think the grey skin and eyebags are very cute

i associate him with whales and tarot card 18: the moon

season 3 - golden grove - fox tsuru

honestly i think this is my favorite design of him i kinda popped off. i think im just a lot more comfortable working with warm colors. and also i associate white tsuru with foxes anyway (black tsuru is totally a catboy btw) (why is he not associated with cranes if his name is tsuru you ask?? bc cranes are hard to draw next question. he did start out based off cranes tbf, thats where the white hair and the tallness comes from)

dead fox possessing his dead human friend's body (although thats only the most literal interpretation of events; in all these iterations there's only ever been 1 person) the white tsurus are mostly interested in "moving on", whatever that means to each of them

btw my banner on this blog is him

hes sort of a set with s2 tsuru to me, mostly bc theyre the ideals that "white tsuru" and "black tsuru" hold taken to the extremes, and also theyre on opposite ends of the "hates people hates talking" and "loves to talk and mess with people" scale

anyway. hes tarot card 10: wheel of fortune to me

season 4 - wild west - mirage

the desert dragon, mirage. this is the season i started giving them actual names that arent "tsuru" and putting actual thought into the story lol previously it was just vibes-based character design. i have a short thing written about him thats meant to be the script for a comic, but i never got around to drawing it.

a sandworm-esque dragon that got tired of being a dragon and took up a passing witch's offer to give him a human form. this is all a metaphor i think. he has longer hair bc i wanted to spice things up a little

(also i consider this a form of death bc he left behind a giant sandworm/dragon skeleton somewhere in the desert)

the mirage-dragon thing comes from the shen 蜃 (which is used in the chinese word for mirage, 海市蜃楼 haishi shenlou, literally translating to "ocean city and shen's castle"). it's a clam-like dragon that produces foam that creates mirages over the ocean.

if u read "even if you slit my mouth", this is what the "shinkiro" or "shin" in recent chapters is. (i had one of those "smug because i already know all about the mythological creature a story is referencing" moments, which i also had with the four gods in yohaji bc i used to translate a game that mentioned them too)

isnt it romantic in a way? that the two places mirages are most known for happening are the ocean and the desert.

i dont have too much art of him because around this time i was uhhh (checks calendar) got back into yohaji and got consumed by it for a couple months lol (can u even blame me. it was july to september that was when like chapter 91 came out lol)

an earlier version of his design that i didnt end up using but i still really like this art

hes tarot card 9: the hermit to me

season 5 - fairytales/medieval - ophiuchus

NO FUCKING WAY YOURE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS for this one i actually ironed out what kind of people the black haired and white haired versions of him are. and also specifically this one isnt black tsuru but alive tsuru

i have a short poem thing about him, to summarize its like so many other fairytales about grateful animals granting their saviors something, but it doesnt end well for anyone

hes based off ophiuchus and asclepius of course, but also a lot of other snake stories in general, like the lindwurm and baishezhuan

to reiterate, for none of these stories do i consider there to ever actually have been 2 separate people, its always just 1 fucked up guy

i also sort of consider him to be a set with mirage, for both being serpents, and also for being "black tsuru whose personality is like white tsuru" and "white tsuru whose personality is like black tsuru", thereby codifying for myself that to him, someone who's stuck in his own head a lot, what matters most to him is his ideals, what all his actions are in pursuit of

he's tarot card 12: the hanged man to me

bonus: dnd character - alba

i also have a version of him i play for dnd, named alba to match with my party who all have color themed names. a halfling ranger who's very small and very loud. except he has amnesia and cant remember anything from before he was 12 (hes around 18 now according to him), including that he's actually a changeling who just transformed into a halfling to seem older than he is to work at a bar and nearly died in a bar fight.

(if you spend as much time fretting over semantics as me, you may note that changelings are medium sized and cannot transform into halflings which are small sized, for which my explanation is that he's been in halfling form since he was a kid, and after the amnesia he thought he actually was a halfling. this is also why his hair is white btw bc changelings have white hair. pre-amnesia in his "actual" halfling transformation he had black hair. i care too much about semantics but hey isnt dnd the semantics game anyway?)

anyway congrats alba for being the only version of tsuru that hasn't outright "died"!! if only because dnd has actual rules and i can't pull my usual death-ghost nonsense as easily!!!

hes very ship of theseus to me, all versions of him are. what makes up a person? what defines them? is it their face, their appearance, their name? their personality, their memories, their ideals? if you slowly replace each of those, one at a time, with a copy thats very similar to the original, at what point are you a different person?

as thanks for reading all of this i'll reveal what some of the metaphors are, the core of who tsuru, as a character, is to me. maybe this is fairly obvious, but all the death and personality weirdness stuff is a convoluted metaphor for depression and autism, as well as the experience of reading the things you've written years ago, seeing old photos and others talking about who you were years ago and finding that person wholly unfamiliar, that you understand the thought process of that person no more than you would a stranger's, as a result of having taken apart your identity and replaced it piece by piece with things from people you like more than yourself.

im always scared of scrutinizing tsuru too hard because he's just a weird reflection of myself, and i think i'll only be able to write a version of him thats more of a "whole person" once i figure that out for myself. the only way you see your own reflection is through a mirror after all, a flattened 2D surface.

haha this got kinda weird and depressing and personal at the end (mostly bc ive been writing this in the middle of the night, its now 4am)

after seeing my soul laid bare like this, if theres one takeaway, i think its pretty obvious why i'm so enamored by the parts of yohaji that i talk about often (huh wasnt this a post about my oc why did it become about yohaji)

oh yeah i just realised u probably also wanted to hear more about my yohaji version of tsuru specifically. honestly theres not really more to it i just like drawing him in situations. like of course the same themes apply but i just like drawing this dude thats 90% the reason hes my sona. like heres a pokemon au of him i drew recently bc i wanted to draw them as kids and also as pokemon gijinkas

anyway thats all. not really bc i could go on and on about him but this is way too long and also way too personal at this point. i think about him a disproportionate amount, i only have 2 other ocs i remotely care about and the extent of my thoughts for those guys is "i think hes fun 👍"

this has probably also been like, the 3rd most comprehensive description of tsuru that ive made, 1st being the thoughts in my head and 2nd being the past 5 years worth of DMs with my friend who i talk about tsuru with

(why was this sort of structured like the beginners guide. if youve seen the beginners guide tell me if im right or delusional. if u havent, go watch a playthrough of it, have an existential crisis, and then afterwards tell me)

#canada art #canada ocs #this hit the 30 image per post limit lmaoo

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