Pretty Little Liars: Summer School (Season 2) - Intro

Bailee Madison as Imogen Adams

Chandler Kinney as Tabitha "Tabby" Haworthe

Zaria as Faran Bryant

Malia Pyles as Minnie "Mouse" Honrada

Maia Reficco as Noa Olivar

Mallory Bechtel as Kelly Beasley

scene two, aka whatever is left of this air conditioning unit

this evening i microwaved my first cup of kraft instant mac and cheese. the print on the side said to stick it in the microwave for three and a half minutes and then add in the cheese and stir vigorously, so that's what i did, but when i took it out there was a frothy boiling mess on the glass plate and an ungodly amount of water left in the cup so i poured out half of the water and added the cheese and 'stirred vigorously' and the whole thing tasted kind of like if you tried to describe the experience of going on a rollercoaster to someone whose only experience with transport is a horse-drawn cart, by which i mean it wasn't terrible, because terrible implies that an effort was made to be good. it is my humble belief that kraft instant mac and cheese has never aspired towards anything.

this morning i woke up sweating. the rooms in this dorm don't have a/c, but at least they have me. unfortunately they are likely to not have me too very soon, precisely because they don't have a/c. in hot weather a/c and i imply each other like a pair of lovers in a horrible codependent relationship that starts out on the best possible foot and starts to worry their friends and family when both of them go missing for three weeks at a time and are found in some dingy motel next to the movie theater drinking dorito-infused sprite while marathoning old animated barbie movies and eventually ends with one party riding off into the sunset on a stolen e-scooter and the other one becoming a fitness influencer on instagram. instagram is useful for some things like stalking people you might want to kidnap and stick in your basement for a few days and contacting friends who have progressed past the need for neanderthal-style text messaging. fitness influencers are not one of those things.

did you know? there were a hundred and forty-four freshmen on campus this spring. according to the corny welcome to the class of 2024 post on the admissions blog, there are three hundred and seventy-three of us in total. i stuck the numbers in the calculator app because i have progressed past the need for neanderthal-style quick math; that's thirty-eight percent. did you know? i've been a college student for a year now, and i've only met thirty-eight percent of my own class.

not to be dramatic, but i'm aggressively stirring another cup of kraft instant mac and cheese right now. not to be dramatic but i've stuck a body in your basement. it's a promise ring. what am i promising? i'm promising i'll come see you.

i think if i get a car i will feel like a real american. of course i will never be a real american because 1) i spent eighteen years living in singapore and 2) i have the spiritual capacity of a well-endowed british opera singer and 3) i don't actually want to be one but the idea has its appeals, like pretending you're part of a group with an identity that isn't an obscure gender alignment (chicken) you came up with on the fly (see? chicken). improvisation has always been my strong suit (for my january term class we had to post self-intros on moodle and for my interesting skill i said i was good at improvisational running. someone commented asking me what improvisational running was. i said i could start running at very unexpected times of the day, like in the lunch line or in the middle of an x-ray examination or while i'm brushing my teeth. this spring i've proven myself to be everything, it turns out, but a liar). forgetting where i started a sentence is also my strong suit. confrontation is not my strong suit.

maybe i should learn to drive. but who is going to teach me? every day we stray further from god, like little bath toys stuck in the pacific ocean getting fucked up by the dolphins, who have gotten bored with the lack of traffic recently and have decided to start their own acting troupe. i am writing this under the impression that there are dolphins in the pacific ocean. if i am wrong please do not correct me. ignorance is bliss. blocking the numbers of people who have set fire to your proverbial house (you live in a dorm room, after all, which doesn't count as a real place to come back to) in various interesting ways without meaning to is also bliss.

the mac and cheese was terrible. but all things are the first time you try them. like how your first novel is three pages long in papyrus font size fifteen on a word document your mom unearths a decade later when she's cleaning the hard drive on your computer. like how the first time you go to target by yourself you pin the wrong target on google maps and end up walking beside a highway getting blasted by fumes for half a mile instead of taking a nice cottagecore jaunt through the bougie neighborhood your school is located in. like how your first semester of college is this huge fucky clusterfuck of absolute horsefuckery that's so bad, even your older friends who've already done undergrad and grad school and passed out in a dumpster behind a denny's a few times in their lifetime are kind of impressed with you.

my first semester of college was a three hour dark souls speedrun. now we're stopping to enjoy the scenery. and what wonderful scenery it is! actually it's very bad. summer is boring because it reminds me of home and the geographical location of home is not itself very bad but i was very depressed for a while so the psychological associations will take a while to unlearn, like maybe five months or five decades. that's fine. i didn't come to america to get away from the monster under the bed. i am the monster. and now i am in america the world is the bed and did you know? i'm pretty tall. so it's fine. i'll break this bedframe. i'll shatter it to pieces.

05.22.21

Racism in Education

June 27, 2020

Day 6 of 7

[ These are just some thoughts I have in my head about this topic, it isn’t meant to be a purely academic discussion. It’s meant to be a conversation to learn about another perspective. ]                                                

—-    

Ok this will be my most challenging post. This is a long read but I’d appreciate you reading it all because I’ve been doing free emotional labor for almost a month and if you want to be an ally, that means learning from other perspectives. So please read. This drained me so much to write, please make it worth it. 

You have the time, please read.

As I stated in my intro, I moved from a very conservative State (I don’t even want to say the State because I hate it so much.) to Washington State. I moved after graduating online school a year ago. 

Growing up in that State I was almost always the only Black girl in my class. For my whole educational career. I hated when we would discuss the civil rights movement because I could feel my White peers staring at me, like I was the face of my race. 

It was junior year that broke me. 

I began the year optimistic. I always did, even though I had experienced racism before each year, pushing me to move to 4 different schools in 4 years. 

I moved to a school in a rural area with a lot of mormons and maybe 5 Black people in the whole, huge school. 

It was in September that my mental health plummeted. I don’t know why. I guess I was overwhelmed. I was in an AP US History class and there was work over the summer that everyone else did, but I didn’t. I had just gotten there, after all. I didn’t have the textbook. That class was such a heavy workload that we were having a quiz every other day, 1 test a week, and I was trying to study for a test that my peers had months to study for, and already took. 

I attempted to take my life, but I knew I didn’t really mean it. I’ll be honest about that. I just wanted everything to stop so I could catch my breath. 

I went to the ER on a Thursday night. My Mom drove me. 

We sat in the ER for a little bit and then I was taken to a little room where a nurse came to talk to me. BTW I have never had a good interaction with a nurse.

This nurse came in and basically shamed me. 

“You’re so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You don’t need to do this to yourself.”

Yeah, no shit. I thought about that every day. My grades, getting into college, getting into law school.... that’s the point. I was overwhelmed. 

She suggested that I punch a pillow if I “Got upset” because that’s what her daughter does. 

Fuck off. 

The Doctor came in and he gave me butterfly bandages and he was so much more understanding, shockingly. (I’ve shadowed Surgeons and Doctors and they can be a little abrasive).

I liked that the Doctor fixed me up. I liked having this wrap around my wrist. I felt like I could move on. Like I let something out. 

The Doctor asked if I needed to stay at this place that dealt with cases like mine. 

I said,

 “No.”

I couldn’t have that on my record for what I want to do. So, I went home.

I took the Friday off and my Mom visited the school to let them know what happened. I was already preparing for pity.

I had to come in on Monday to set up a 504 (students with disabilities act) for depression. I don’t think I had depression, but whatever. I dropped out of AP US History.

They made accommodations for me: more time on tests, working in the library, more time on assignments, etc.

I want you to know that I did not touch those accommodations for 5 months. 

I knew I didn’t need them. I maintained a 3.8 GPA.

I sat in a room with all 8 of my teachers (we had a block schedule 4 classes per day alternating), seeing all of them look at me with disgusting levels of pity.

They each talked to me in private saying things like,

“If you ever need anything, let me know.”

“I’m here for you.”

“You matter.”

I thought,

 “Hm ok, that’s nice.”. 

I went on for months without using my accommodations and practically wooping my “normal” classmates in intellectual discussions.

But then the casual racism I experienced was escalating. 

First, in the beginning of the year, my AP US History teacher put his hand on my head and said to a student,

“If you really believe that, Faith would be a slave right now.”

(I don’t remember what the hell we were even talking about)

Then I got little questions/comments like,

“Why do you dress White?”

“Cracker is just as offensive as the n-word”

But now we were going into Black History Month. My new history teacher was an old White Man and we were talking about the civil rights movement, while in English we were reading “Black Like Me” with my blonde, Female, millennial teacher.

I nailed everything in the civil rights movement discussions. The teacher loved me. I nailed the conversations about “Black Like Me”. 

But....I don’t know. The environment got really toxic. There was more racism, gaslighting, slurs. Every. single. day. It could break anyone.

I would be on the brink of tears in class every day. 

Guess who didn’t notice? 

All 8 of those concerned teachers. 

They don’t give a shit. 

My grades were still pretty good, but I started working in the library. I couldn't be around all of those racist peers. 

While in the library, my counselor would come in and interrogate me. 

“How long have you been in here?”

“Have you tried, really tried to go to class?”

Of course I tried! I felt like I wanted to be dead and so I left. That’s what the 504 Plan was for. Again, I hadn’t touched my accommodations for months so I thought maybe these grown adults would use their tiny brains and think,

“Huh maybe she needs help.”

But no. 

I would go to the counselor almost every day and say 

“I’m not doing well.”

And she’d ask,

“What does that mean?”

Ok...so I have to tell this Woman that I feel like dying but not at my own hand? Because she can’t use social cues and read my face stained with tears?

I couldn’t say anything. 

She said,

“What can we do to keep you going here?”

I said,

“I don’t know”

Because that’s not my job.

Then it happened. 

My history teacher was talking about affirmative action.

He said,

“If I worked at a bank for 30 years and went to work at another bank, FAITH would get a job over me because she’s a BLACK WOMAN. Do you get that? She covers TWO minorities!” 

He said this while pointing his wrinkled finger in my face.

None of my peers said anything.

I replied with,

“Well, what are my qualifications?”

He ignored me.

He went on a rant teaching his opinions, not facts. So I wrote down what he said on sticky notes. 

I called my Mom at break and asked her

“Is that racist? Do I do anything?”

I was so desensitized to racism I couldn’t tell anymore.

My White Mom, my awesome Mom said,

“YES.”

I went to the Vice Principal and reported the teacher and gave her the sticky notes. 

The next day we got an email from the principle saying that the teacher said, he never said anything about me.

So I was a liar?

To get evidence, I recorded the whole next class. I was scared every minute that he would find out. 

He didn’t. And he said more awful things.

I had concrete proof.

We told the Principal and he ignored me. My Mom emailed the superintendent (very high up person in the school district) and oh now he responds? 

They basically said,

“We gave him a warning, he won’t do it again.”

Ok so he just will hide his racism now. Just remember, teachers legally aren’t allowed to teach their opinion. The Supreme Court deemed it unconstitutional to teach opinions.

I was still required to go to this racist Man’s class. I still answered every question he posed to the class and he recognized my intelligence. 

So WHY?

WHY me?

The whole year he loved having me as a student and then....that?

Moving on to my English class.

We had to do a cultural experience trip and so my acquaintance and I went to the Black History Museum. Because I’m Nigerian-American. I do identify as Black though because everyone assumes it anyways, but I wanted to learn more about the history in my city.

We were required to make presentations talking about the experience we had. I decided to add a little twist. 

I made a whole slide in my slideshow dedicated to every racist thing said to me in that class. 

The slide was met with laughter because racism is just so funny.

My teacher said nothing. 

So I, the student, the minor in the room, had to say,

“I see you laughing but this is why I’m leaving this school. This is serious.”

Nothing from my teacher. 

Cut to maybe a week later and I was done. I was sitting in my English class about to burst. My acquaintance asked me,

“Are you doing ok?”

I replied,

“No. Absolutely not.”

A classmate checked in on me, while all my 8 teachers who actually knew about my attempt on my life didn’t.

We went outside and I decided to leave the school that day. Three weeks before summer break. I couldn’t be in either class anymore. I felt my brain rotting from being exposed to the absolute shit that those students/teachers would spew, every day.

I lost my 3.8 GPA

I lost my credits for the semester.

The racist teacher is still working.

I had to go online.

It happened again.

Another racist history teacher. 

Wasn’t removed.

I graduated with a lower GPA.

Didn’t apply to my dream school.

I have the trauma seared into my brain. I’m terrified of taking another history class. Terrified.

Ok, that’s it. If you made it this far, thank you. It took me awhile to write this. I hope this gave you another perspective. 

--

So.... discussion time. 

Let me know what you think here

I’d like to hear from you since I delved into my trauma. 

I don’t think I’ll ever tell this story again, it makes me sick and tired. But I’ll answer questions/asks.

If you have a lot of White guilt and wanna do something, you could donate some reparations to my venmo lol: 

@faithrebecca1397 (last 4 digits are 4809)

or paypal

http://www.paypal.me/faithrebecca1397

Edit: People are asking me if they can reblog this. YES PLEASE REBLOG. It’s important to let people know that all types of racism are alive and well.

Take A Giant Step - Chapter 3

Warnings: Alcohol, Angst, Fluff, and Language

Word Count: 2.7K

Pairings: Frankie Morales x f!OC

A/N: Here is Chapter 3! If you would like to be tagged in upcoming chapters, please don’t hesitate to let me know. Shout out to the AMAZINGLY LOVELY @yespolkadotkitty for beta-ing this. Please enjoy. <3

The skies had opened when I walked into the theater on Tuesday morning. It was normal for our area to get thunderstorms around this time of year, but not of that magnitude. A small ball of worry began to form in the pit of my stomach. What if the weather was too severe and Frankie wasn’t able to make it? Between my mild panic and the sound of the pounding rain, I missed hearing the front door open.

“Good morning, Maggie.” Frankie was standing at the entrance holding a faded red toolbox. As always, he was wearing his baseball cap. His ripped blue jeans and beat up beige shirt hinted that his project would involve him getting messy. As he gently smiled, his coffee colored eyes sparkled.

“Good morning, Frankie. Thanks for braving the weather and coming in.”

“No problem. Were you able to move the desk into your shop?”

I led him backstage and through the back hallway to our scenic shop. It wasn’t a very large space, but we were still able to build and store all of our sets in there. I flipped the light switch on to reveal the area. The remnants of the desk were in a sad heap on the floor, waiting for him. He walked over to the pile, knelt to the floor, and examined the task before him.

“Feel free to use anything we have in here, if you need it. Our tools are on the ancient side, but they get the job done. Can I get you a bottle of water?”

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

I turned and headed to our lobby bar. As I opened the fridge, I grabbed two bottles of water. When I returned to the shop, Frankie was separating the broken pieces of wood.

“I brought you two bottles. Just in case you needed an extra one. Sometimes it can get a little warm in here. I left the bar fridge unlocked out there for you. If you need more water or even a soda, you can just grab one.” 

I paused slightly.

“Is there anything that I can help with at the moment?”

Frankie looked up. As he surveyed the room, he mentioned that he was good for the time being. I smiled, trying to hide my slight disappointment. Before I left him to his work, I let him know that I would be in my office down the hall if he needed me. He thanked me and went straight to work.

As I headed to my desk, I chastised myself. Why was I letting my hormones hijack my brain? Yes, he was very cute but that was it. We didn’t really know each other that well. Even if we did that still wouldn’t mean that he could be interested. This always happened. As soon as a man said or did something even remotely nice for me, I’d start seeing fireworks. Then my heart would inevitably break into a million little pieces when it was discovered that he didn’t feel the same way. No matter how many times the cycle would repeat itself or I recognized the same patterns, it played out the same way. It was like my brain couldn’t comprehend that a man showing me respect was not the same as him indicating affection. They were just being decent human beings.

To distract myself from myself, I began working on several projects. I went into my Gmail account to find an endless stream of emails from hopeful actors requesting audition slots for our summer theatre festival. With each confirmation notice I sent out, the more and more Frankie’s presence slipped from my mind. I became consumed with scheduling auditions, contacting designers, and texting Jeff about upcoming meetings. When I looked up at the clock on the wall, three hours had already flown by. It was a little after 1:00 PM.

I rose out of my chair and stretched. While heading to the scenic shop, I heard the bar fridge open. Frankie must have been thirsty. I changed my direction and headed to the bar. He was facing the front door, with his back to me and no idea that I had joined him. I was able to see that he was drinking a Coca Cola.

“So you’re a Coke fan?”

He jumped and then turned on his heels to face me. I thought I had really surprised him because his face went white and his eyes widened. He almost choked on his soft drink.

“It’s okay. I’m more of a Dr. Pepper girl myself.” He exhaled and what tension his body held left.

“So, it’s one o’clock and I do believe that I promised you lunch. Are you hungry? What are you in the mood for?”

“You know, I’ve haven’t had a really good BLT in a long time…”

“Perfect! There is this great sandwich shop three blocks over. I”ll call and have them deliver. Do you want something else to go with your BLT? Chips? A brownie? Their brownies are made from scratch every day and are to die for.”

“Sure - I’ll get a brownie. Thanks, Maggie.”

He shot me a grin. I pulled out my phone and placed our order. It would be about twenty minutes before the food would arrive.

“The desk is mostly done. I just need to reattach the legs and secure the top. Do you wanna check it out?”

I nodded and followed him into the shop. Sure enough, our sad little desk was mostly assembled. I was taken aback at the progress he made in three short hours. Turning to him, I asked how he was able to do all of that in such a little amount of time. He bashfully looked down at the floor while his prominent cheeks turned a soft shade of pink.

“It’s nothing special. The damage looked worse than it really was. It just took some glue, screws, and a little patience.”

The building’s doorbell rang out loud. The food had finally arrived! We both walked to the entrance of the theater to meet the delivery driver. After taking the food, I fished my wallet out of my back pocket to give the driver a tip. Frankie raced to pull out his wallet.

“Let me take care of the tip.”

“No way. I said that I’m paying and that is precisely what is going to happen.”

“You said lunch was your treat. That doesn’t cover the tip.”

“Dude. No. I am paying and that’s that. Put your wallet away.”

Frankie sighed, but relented. He put his wallet back into his pants. I turned to face the poor confused driver. She thanked me as I handed her a ten dollar bill and then promptly left.

“Let’s eat on stage at the table. I’ll grab us each a beer. Just don’t tell Jeff if you see him. This’ll be our little secret.” I held my finger up to my lips. Frankie made a zipping motion over his. Grinning, I handed him the bag of food to set up. I flounced over to the fridge and grabbed a Budwiser, an Angry Orchard, and a bottle opener. I opened our drinks at the bar. When I returned to the stage, he was pulling up a second chair to the table. I hopped up onto the stage. We both sat down and began to eat our lunch.

“This is great,” he said with his mouth partially full.

“I told you. Sandwich Society is one of the best places to eat in the city. At least that’s how I feel.”

“This is as good as the BLTs I grew up with in Colorado.”

“You’re from Colorado?”

Frankie nodded his head as he swallowed a bit of sandwich.

“Yeah. Boulder. I lived with my grandparents there until I was 14. Then I moved in with my best friend’s family. Once Pope and I graduated high school, we joined the army and then left. That’s my best friend. His name really isn’t Pope, it’s Santiago. Pope is just a codename.”

“Do you have one?”

“A codename? Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“It’s not that important. The only people who refer to me by it are my army buddies and it’s really ridiculous -”

“Is it like Pinkie Pie or something along those lines?” He looked down at the table and softly chuckled. As he looked up, he blepped his tongue. I would have been a liar if I said that I didn’t find that adorable.

“No - it’s not Twilight Sparkle either. Uh, it’s Catfish.”

“Why Catfish?”

“Cause of the whiskers on my face. I know, it’s dumb.”

I didn’t think it was dumb. It was pretty clever - almost bordering on the line of cute. All I could do was grin like an idiot. To change the subject, I brought out my phone and opened Spotify.

“How about some tunes? The sound of the rain hitting the roof is driving me nuts. What kind of music are you into?”

“I’m more into classic rock. Sometimes old country, but mostly classic rock.”

“I can dig that.” I pulled up my classic rock playlist and tapped the large green play button on the screen. Kansas began playing the intro to “Carry On Wayward Son”. I returned to my veggie burger.

“You listen to classic rock,” Frankie asked, arching one of his eyebrows.

“Of course, I do. It’s great music and what I was raised on. Fleetwood Mac was practically a religion in my house. Why wouldn’t I listen to it?”

“I didn’t think that someone in their mid-twenties would know this stuff.” 

I laughed. “Mid-twenties? I hate to break it to you, but I’m thirty-one.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -”

“It’s okay, Frankie. I’ve always looked younger than I really am. I can’t count how many times in high school alone I had friends’ parents who thought I was a younger sister in elementary school. Especially since I had a penchant for wearing oversized hoodies. I’m pretty used to it by this point.”

As I gave him a reassuring look to know that I was not offended in any way, the next song on the playlist began to play. Just hearing that first guitar chord of “Go All the Way” by Raspberries caused a wave of dopamine to wash over me.

“I fucking love this song. When the tape player in my car worked, I would play it constantly. I’m almost convinced that the stereo died on purpose so it wouldn’t have to play this song again. But it’s such a good song - it hits all of my buttons. What I would give to have that stereo system work again. Just to listen to my music with the windows down and the wind playing with my hair on a warm summer night.”

“I’m not really a mechanic, but I do have experience with technical systems like that. If you’re comfortable, I don’t mind trying to see if I can fix your stereo.”

“Oh, Frankie. That’s so sweet of you, but you are already doing me a solid by fixing this desk. I can’t ask you to tackle that as well. It’s not fair. Anyway, I couldn’t even begin to afford a repair that big -” Frankie gently held his hand up to stop me where I was.

“I’m offering because I want to do this. I’m not asking or expecting anything in return. I only want to help a new friend. Especially since it seems like you really miss your music.” He looked at me with big brown puppy dog eyes.

“Okay. Just remember that Carly is an old lady. She’s set in her ways.”

“You named your car CARLY?”

“It seemed punny.” He rolled his eyes and suggested that he return to work. I nodded in agreement and volunteered to clean up while he finished. As “Don’t Fear the Reaper” began to play, he headed into the shop and I began to tidy up. I was utterly charmed by this man. This man who appeared out of thin air and dropped into my life. He was so sweet, generous, soft, and - No. He was just being friendly. His being friendly did not mean that he was interested in me like that. I needed to reign in my sense and feelings immediately. Leaving them to run wild would only result in me getting hurt.

“You should be fine for the show this weekend,” said Frankie as he reentered the space. “Just keep the clamps on until Friday morning. The glue should be dry by then. I can come by during the day and do it for you, if you want.”

“Thank you so much. You don’t have to do that. Unless you think it’s best that you remove the clamps yourself.”

“It’s not trouble. I’ll swing by on Friday. If something looks out of the ordinary over the next couple of days just call or text. I’m always just a text away.”

****

Over the next few days, Frankie and I were constantly texting each other. We were almost as bad as teenagers. One of us would send a hilarious meme and the other would have a smartass remark. We’d ask each other how their day was going and if they heard the latest stupid headline. It felt good to be able to check in on someone and to have them check in on me. Every time that my phone’s text alarm went off, I smiled to myself like I had a sweet secret. I knew that Frankie was just being polite with these conversations, but it made me feel so special.

Frankie sent me a message on Friday asking if he could come by then to take the clamps off of the desk and to look at Carly’s stereo. Within the hour, he was there inspecting his work. He said that everything looked good and he removed the clamps. The desk ended up looking like nothing had happened to it. As I looked at the repaired furniture with a sense of dumbstruck awe, he asked for my car keys. I handed them to him without even looking. When I snapped out of it and turned to thank him, he had already moved on to the car.

For the next few hours, I kept myself busy with administrative work and preparing for that evening’s show. As I was finalizing the evening’s will call list, I heard a quiet knock on my office door.

“Yes,” I said. My head was down, still going over seat assignments.

“Hey, Maggie. I’ve got something I think you should see. Could I pull you away for a few minutes?”

I looked up to see Frankie at my doorway. His brow was covered in beads of sweat that kept his curls matted down. He was clearly hot, but it didn’t detract fromthe enthusiasm in his face. I stood up and followed him outside. We walked over to Carly and he opened the driver’s side door for me. Thanking him, I slid onto the red cloth seat. 

“Turn the ignition and press the power on the radio.” His face radiated excitement. I did what he asked me. All of the sudden the sweet sound of guitars and asking to go all the way filled the car. I was shocked.

“I do have to ask this - are you some sort of warlock or part of the occult?” He laughed and adjusted his cap, bashful.

“No. I just had to replace the fuse and reconnect some things.” 

I turned to face him. “Frankie, this is incredible. You are so insanely talented with your hands. I know several people who need things done or fixed. They would be willing to pay good money for that. Would it be okay with you if I passed along your number so they could contact you?”

He looked taken aback at my suggestion. I automatically felt embarrassed. Had I overstepped my boundaries? He was a pilot. Maybe he didn’t want to do handyman work. Did I offend him? He began to speak again.

“Yes, please. Thank you so much. I’d really like that.”

“Fantastic! My sister has some things that need to be repaired. I will go ahead and text her right now.”

--------------------

TAGS: @absurdthirst​ @larakasser​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @fioccodineveautunnale​ @wickedfrsgrl​

💀 * [ barbie ferreira + cis female + she/her ] —— have you met isadora oliveira ? they are a twenty-one year old sophomore currently studying fashion design & merchandising. they live on keating house, and word around campus is that this aries is loyal + warm, as well as self-objectifying + obsequious. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. chocolate covered strawberries, gothic platforms, lingerie under leather jackets.

hiii bbies it’s me (gabby) finally here again to post this finalized, messy version of isa’s intro! she’s a brand new never-been-played muse of mine so it’s def bound to be a bit more scattered & less developed than ezra’s, but also much shorter? so i mean there’s a bonus lmao alright here we go:

so isadora (also known by many nicknames such as isa, izzy, iz, & dora the explora if ur trying to piss her off vgbjhksjs) was definitely not brought up in a world of prestige and recognition like the one she’s become so accustomed to in attending holloway university

growing up in the small town of lisbon, maine the only reality isa knew during her childhood was that of living as the only child of a woman who was (TW) both a compulsive liar & and compulsive hoarder. their house was floor to ceiling with things her mom collected as well as garbage built up over time- her condition had already driven isa’s father out of the house when she was just three years old, and she never had a relationship with him as a result

she was still fairly young when she realized the true severity of her own situation, just how abnormal it was compared to that of her friends. she missed out on so many rights of passage during her upbringing like birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. for much of her life her own living space / bedroom were just as bad off as the rest of the house, given her mom’s inability to keep from passing her hoarding tendencies onto her daughter. isa simply didn’t know any better at the time. to her, that was normal.

not only was her mom a compulsive liar & hoarder but she was also extremely neglectful, often leaving isa to her own devices in the dangerous environment they called home. as a result of this she (TW ED) developed harmful coping mechanisms surrounding food, regularly overeating to combat negative feelings of loneliness, and this went on from the time she was just a little girl all the way until she was in high school

high school was rough in many ways- she suffered depression, anxiety, experienced bullying at the hands of the more popular kids for her weight & her mother’s financial situation, and was all around extremely isolated from her peers- the only person she really had to depend on was her cousin (WC) . she had so much respect and envy for her cousin, they had more of a sisterly dynamic than anything, she was just so gorgeous and everything she did just seemed so effortless, to the point isa couldn’t help but idolize her and consider her a best friend. 

like, remember when spongebob said he hoped that by being in squidward’s presence some of his artistic ability would rub off onto him? that was deadass isa & (WC) in high school jhbksnjs my girl was so sure if she just spent enough time with her she’d inherit some of her pretty & cool

high school was also where she reached a turning point when it came to her home environment, able to put a name to her mom’s condition after years of struggling with her strained and toxic relationship with her mom, and ultimately changed the rest of her life. she stayed the night at (WC’s) one night and after she fell asleep, isa stayed up watching TLC- it was there that she first discovered the TV show ‘hoarding: buried alive’ and realized there was a name for her mother’s infliction- but more importantly, learned that there was help available for her condition

when she went home to excitedly tell her mother that she’d basically discovered a cure, a means to change everything for them... she certainly hadn’t been expecting the reaction that came: her mom, who’d always been so indifferent toward her, so lethargic and uninterested in what she had to say, was suddenly listening very clearly- and she was not happy. isa had never heard her mom scream like that, had never really heard her express any heightened emotion, but it was in that moment at 17 years old, just a few weeks away from her 18th birthday, that she realized what she needed to do. she had no choice but to make plans to leave her mom behind.

the final weeks leading up to the big day she was counting on as a turning point consisted of her cleaning out her own space, little by little, enough that she had somewhere to set up her secondhand laptop and webcam. blowing out the candles on her 18th birthday cake came with wishing for a whole new life, and she was determined to make that for herself by any means necessary.

(TW SEX WORK) isa spent half her 18th year in her room working as a successful camgirl, showing everything but her face, & of course always being careful not to dox herself. she eventually earned enough money to start buying herself nicer clothes, but it didn’t take her long to realize she wanted more from life than just rotting away in her hometown. she bought herself a higher quality webcam to keep making money... and a nice sewing machine, something she’d always dreamed of owning. 

all her life she’d been drawing and sketching as a means of escapism, it’d always been therapeutic to her to be creative and conjure up unique designs for outfits in her mind, drawing models in all shapes and sizes to represent her fantasy outfits. but she never felt like a visionary, even though anyone with an eye for fashion who got a look at her work could see that she had the natural talent and potential to be. 

isa had been an a straight-A student her whole life despite having almost no support at home from her mother growing up, and with plenty of encouragement from (cousin WC), she plucked up the courage and applied for holloway university, with ivory falls being far enough from her hometown of lisbon, but still in the same state so that she could go and see her mother from time to time (bc although their relationship is quite strained now, she still loves and worries about her)

the next summer she received her acceptance letter at holloway u for the coming fall semester, and the fact that she’d been able to make it into such a prestigious school made her feel so proud of herself that she completely underwent a massive arc of character development; evolving into someone so much more confident. realizing that plenty of people found her desirable as she continued to earn money through cam shows had been part of that transformation, but realizing she was talented enough to get accepted into the fashion design and merchandising program at her dream school had a completely different effect on her. 

( TW BODY IMAGE ISSUES ) isa decided that as she entered college, she was no longer going to be the meek, insecure girl constantly playing the role of the doting, loyal fat best friend to the ‘prettier main characters’ she’d always been sidekick to- she told herself that she was the main fucking character in her life from here on, and has spent her entire college experience up to this point just,, navigating as she figures out what that really means to her

still has a terrible underlying tendency to be overly-loyal and a bit obsessive with girls she closely befriends, if she has any kind of jealousy towards them. but ! is a lot more confident than she used to be, and it shows in the way she dresses and carries herself, as well as in her long-term goals (to transfer to FIDM for her final years of university)

( TW ED MENTION ) as a young adult, she’s mostly she’s replaced the compulsion to deal with her body image issues by using food to cope that she had as a teenager... by using sex to cope instead, so she’s definitely a bit promiscuous but does her best to keep that Her Own business 

personality-wise she has a massive heart & is loyal to a fault but is also wild AF & loves a good time! never rly dabbled in drugs until she got to college but since then has acquired an interest in trying everything under the sun, even if it’s just one and done. mostly though she just likes to get really drunk & stupid. used to feel like she was constantly living in her cousin’s shadow, & in some ways she still does, but she’s trying hard to make herself believe that she’s reached a place where she won’t be playing second fiddle to anyone, ever again

i’m gonna shut the hell up now & stop pretending i know this character better than i do bc i deadass do not jbhnjss like she’s literally brand new so lemme go head & leave plenty of room for development!

same story as ezra i’ll have a full connections page posted for her soon but in the meantime some ideas i have are: friends, frienemies, ex friends, high school bullies, classmates, old high school friends, people she gets fuckt up with on the reg, people she hooks up with on the reg (any gender, she’s bisexual / biromantic), someone she had a crush on in high school / has pined for from afar maybe?? someone who used to watch her cam shows?? someone she almost kinda dated but Not? someone who she hooked up with while they were dating someone else?? idk that’s what i have for now but there’ll be more where that came from <3 xoxo like this or hmu !

For better or for worse, I have a job that is exempt - to a great degree - from the widespread need for isolation (in the world of news radio, the show must go on). However, I do get days off and thank goodness for that because my brain can only take so much constant pandemic talk.

So! I offer up ‘the ultimate music list’, something I started doing on YouTube last year. Maybe earlier. It’s a living list, it will never be complete. Anyway, listen to the way my music mind rambles! All songs listed on the other side of the keep reading line (not linked, you gotta do some of the work):

Seinabo Sey - I Owe You Nothing Janelle Monáe – Django Jane Janelle Monáe - PYNK Janelle Monáe – Make Me Feel Sudan Archives - Come Meh Way Sudan Archives - Come Meh Way & Wake Up | A Take Away Show St. Beauty - Not Discuss It Japanese Breakfast - Boyish St. Beauty - Caught Kali Uchis - After The Storm ft. Tyler, The Creator, Bootsy Collins Kali Uchis - Tomorrow (ft. Tame Impala) Kali Uchis - Dead To Me Kali Uchis - Body Language (Intro) Kali Uchis - Just A Stranger Kali Uchis - In My Dreams Kali Uchis - Flight 22 Sigrid - Strangers King Princess - 1950 Sigrid - Don’t Kill My Vibe Sigrid - Plot Twist Moonchild - The List Amber Mark - Way Back The Internet - Girl DeJ Loaf - Changes Erykah Badu - Window Seat Erykah Badu - Afro Blue M.I.A. - Matangi M.I.A. - Double Bubble Trouble M.I.A. - Paper Planes A Tribe Called Red - The Light II Ft. Lido Pimienta A Tribe Called Red - Sisters ft Northern Voice PRINCESS NOKIA - BRUJAS PRINCESS NOKIA - TOMBOY Solange - Cranes in the Sky Solange - Don't Touch My Hair ft. Sampha SZA - Broken Clocks SZA - Drew Barrymore SZA - Go Gina SZA - Prom SZA - Pretty Little Birds Sade - Flower of the Universe Sade - The Sweetest Taboo Sade - Paradise Sade - Turn My Back On You Sade - Smooth Operator Sade - Cherish the Day Erykah Badu - On & On Jill Scott - A Long Walk Erykah Badu - Tyrone (Live) Janelle Monáe - I Like That Christine and the Queens - Girlfriend Humble the Poet - H.A.I.R. Lush - Desire Lines Lush - Never-Never Rachel Sermanni 'Take Me Out' - Franz Ferdinand Cover Memory House - When You Sleep (Yours Truly Session) Sumner McKane - The Turncoat Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing - The Magnetic Fields (Sense8 Remix) (feat. Zoe Wise) Julia Holter - I Shall Love 2 Dua Lipa - New Rules [Initial Talk 80s Rules Remix] Lady Gaga - Venus (80s Synthwave Version) Ruelle - Take It All Kraak & Smaak Ft. Parcels - Stumble Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa - One Kiss Timecop1983 - Girl (feat. SEAWAVES) Aretha Franklin - Mary, Don't You Weep (Live at New Temple Missionary Baptist Church, Los Angeles, January 14, 1972) Sarah Vaughan - Misty (Live from Sweden) Ellie Goulding - My Blood (Kastle Remix) Darksynth Paradise - A NewRetroWave Mix | 1 Hour | Retrowave/ Darkwave/ Electro | Sudan Archives - Nont For Sale Christine and the Queens - 5 dollars Christine and the Queens - Doesn’t matter Christine and the Queens - The walker Christine and the Queens - Damn (what must a woman do) Christine and the Queens - Goya soda Christine and the Queens - The stranger Lone - Poltergeist Screamin’ Jay Hawkins - I Hear Voices Lost Years - Pressure Windows 95 Start-up remix Windows 95 Startup Sound (Slowed 4000%) Seoul - Silencer Blackwater Holylight - Willow Her's - Low Beam Here We Go Magic - Alone But Moving John Maus - Bennington AC Temple - Yield Lana del Rey - Summertime Sadness (SxAde Synthwave Version) Ariana Grande - "Into You"  80′s Remix Demi Lovato - Cool for the Summer   80′s Remix Fifth Harmony - Sledgehammer   80′s Remix Lady Gaga - Perfect Illusion   80s Remix Ariana Grande - Greedy [Initial Talk "90s state of mind" Remix] Happy Hippie Presents: Miley Cyrus & Ariana Grande - Don't Dream It's Over Mariah Carey - Touch My Body [Initial Talk 90s Splash! Remix] Dua Lipa - IDGAF (Initial Talk Remix) 憂鬱 - Sun Lady Gaga - Joanne (Where Do You Think You’re Goin’?) Robyn - Honey Dolly Parton - Here You Come Again Floating Points - Nuits Sonores Sade - The Big Unknown Amanda Shires - Leave It Alone Crockett - City of Ghosts [Full Album] Toni Harper - "The Velvet Hammer" (stereo), 1959 Cristina - "Things Fall Apart" Dexter Gordon - What’s New Warren Zevon - Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead - Rochester, 1994 Le1f - Wut Katie Herzig - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) Raymond Scott - "Boy Scout In Switzerland" - Quartet San Francisco (arranged by Robert Gilmore) Jan A.P. Kaczmarek - Aimee & Jaguar Main Theme Toni Harper - "The Other Woman"  Toni Harper - The meaning of the blues Vanessa - Upside Down Anna Ternheim - Summer Rain feat. Nina Kinert, Ane Brun, First Aid Kit and Ellekari Larsson of The Tiny Ella Fitzgerald & Bill Doggett ~ Rough Ridin' Eraldo Bernocchi, Harold Budd,Robin Guthrie - South Of Heaven (Winter Garden) Slum Village - Fall in Love (Instrumental) Shonen Knife - Twist Barbie Dave Berry - This Strange Effect Sarah Harmer - Basement Apartment The Original Stroll - February 1958 Gertrude Lawrence - My Sweet Gustav HOLST: St. Paul's Suite (III. Intermezzo, IV. Finale) Rumskib - Secrets Caterina Valente - Stranger In Paradise Borodin - Prince Igor - Polovtsian Dances Darshan Ambient - Mirage Girl Crisis - Smooth Operator Girl Crisis - Paranoid Mulatu Astatke's "Mulatu" Vivien Goldman - Launderette Jonatha Brooke - West Point Lesley Gore - You Don’t Own Me Matthew Schoening - Emotional Clockwork Molly Nilsson - Hey Moon Kate Bush - Cloudbusting (The Organon Mix re-edit) Stravinsky conducts Stravinsky FIREBIRD COMPLETE The Carter Family - Wildwood Flower Grimes - Vanessa Kenneth Bager Fr. one (...and I kept hearing) Land of Talk - It’s Okay Nite Jewel - Artificial Intelligence Geneva Jacuzzi - Clothes On the Bed Thom Yorke & Jonny Greenwood - Karma Police | Glastonbury Festival, Pilton UK (8/9) Maps of Norway - Traffic Simian Mobile Disco - Cruel Intentions Aerosmith - Crazy Bruce Kaphan - Undeserved Ending The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - "Everything With You" Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - Body Janelle Monae - "Tightrope" 5/18 Letterman Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler Ladyhawke - My Delirium Marion Cotillard & Franz Ferdinand - Eyes of Mars Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch (live) Kate Bush - Army Dreamers Tegan and Sara - Living Room Kate Bush - Cloudbusting Beatrice Eli - Girls NewRetroWave End of 2017 Mix - (The Future Beckons) - [80s/ Retrowave/ Outrun/ Retro Electro] Vaporwave / Chillwave - Ultimate Mix The Chordettes "Lollipop" & "Mr. Sandman" Sufjan Stevens - Tonya Harding Taylor Davis - Stranger Things Violin Medley STRANGER THINGS MEETS CLASSICAL GUITAR Grace Sings Sludge - Difficult To Love Satchmode - Happiness Part 1 River Whyless - Life Crisis Stefano Barone - Batman - Alexander Supertramp Bebel Gilberto - "Aganjú"(Ao Vivo) - Bebel Gilberto In Rio Katie Melua - Diamonds are Forever  Carly Rae Jepsen - Run Away With Me Beulahbelle - You Only Live Twice (Living Room Version) Grimes - We Appreciate Power Meshell Ndegeocello - Sensitivity Kodacrome - Buckets Röyksopp - Remind Me Lizzo - Juice Lizzo - Truth Hurts Lizzo - Good As Hell Electrelane - To the East Electrelane - I only always think Sean Paul - Get Busy 憂鬱 - Azure Day (Full EP) 憂鬱 - Slow Suzanne Vega - Luka | The story behind the song Seoul - Real June Broken Social Scene on House of Strombo Show Big Boi’s Favorite Verse: Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” Cherry Glazerr - Nurse Ratched  Jan A.P. Kaczmarek - Aimée & Jaguar Mister Rogers Remixed | Garden of Your Mind Grant Green - Idle Moments Hole Reunion after 15 yrs. Teeth - Care Bear ST. VINCENT covers BIG BLACK at BOWERY BALLROOM NYC May 22 2011 Broadcast - Man is not a bird (Teac A-4010 s Reel to Reel) Billy May - So Nice (Samba De Verão) Pogo - Mellow Brick Road Anna Calvi - Jezebel (Attic Sessions 5) Anna Calvi - Joan Of Arc (Attic Sessions 4) Anna Calvi - Surrender (Attic Sessions 3) Anna Calvi - Sound & Vision (Attic Sessions 1) Anna Calvi - Wolf Like Me (Attic Sessions 2) Clementine - ALL BLUES Skip James - Hard Time Killin’ Floor Blues Anna Calvi - Suzanne And I Total Slacker - Thyme Traveling High School Dropout Siouxsie & The Banshees- Metal (Elizabethan Suite 1977) Second Chorus (Charlie North Remix) The Castaways - Liar Liar Alex Gaudino Feat. Christal Waters - Destination Calabria Loose Ends - Hangin’ On a String Pizzicato Five - The Audrey Hepburn Complex Edie Brickell & New Bohemians - What I Am The Bangles - Walk Like an Egyptian The Human League - Love Action (I Believe In Love) The Human League - Don’t You Want Me The Human League - (Keep Feeling) Fascination Wang Chung - Dance Hall Days PJ Harvey - Hanging in the Wire PJ Harvey - Rid Of Me PJ Harvey & Thom Yorke - This Mess We’re In PJ Harvey - We Float PJ Harvey - This Wicked Tongue PJ Harvey - A Place Called Home The Sundays - Here’s Where The Story Ends Flock of Seagulls - Space Age Love Song The Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way Hall & Oates - Out of Touch Hall & Oates - I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do) Toto - Rosanna Toto - Africa Fleetwood Mac - Little Lies Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels Philip Bailey, Phil Collins - Easy Lover Spandau Ballet - True Tears For Fears - Shout Sigrid - Don’t Feel Like Crying Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Souvenir The Jesus and Mary Chain - April Skies The Ocean Blue - Between Something and Nothing No Joy - Hollywood Teeth Tamaryn - Last Tamaryn - Softcore Tamaryn - Cranekiss Ashrae Fax - CHKN Echo & the Bunnymen - A Promise Ashrae Fax - Intexus The Motels - Only the Lonely Other Colors - Dark Things Bauhaus - All We Ever Wanted Was Everything George Clanton - It Makes the Babies Want to Cry Ben Howard - Nica Libres At Dusk Elton John - Bennie and the Jets Elton John - Don't Go Breaking My Heart (with Kiki Dee) David Bowie - Life On Mars? Elton John - Someone Saved My Life Tonight  St Vincent Breaks Down Her Most Iconic Songs Pharoahe Monch - Simon Says (instrumental) Death Valley Girls "Disaster (Is What We're After)" A Tribe Called Quest - Electric Relaxation Tame Impala - The Less I Know The Better Childish Gambino - Redbone De La Soul - A Roller Skating Jam Named Saturdays Choir! Choir! Choir! Sings David Bowie - Heroes Kishi Bashi - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) The 6ths - You You You You You Squirrel Nut Zippers "Put A Lid On It" Joni Mitchell - Help Me Pat Metheny, Joni Mitchell, Jaco Pastorius, Michael Brecker - "Shadows And Light" Joni Mitchell - All I Want Joni Mitchell - Free Man In Paris Joni Mitchell - California Joni Mitchell - In France They Kiss On Main Street Joni Mitchell - Amelia Joni Mitchell - People’s Parties Joni Mitchell - For the Roses Joni Mitchell - The Hissing of Summer Lawns Joni Mitchell - Black Crow Joni Mitchell - Hejira Joni Mitchell - Coyote Joni Mitchell w/Peter Gabriel - My Secret Place Joni Mitchell - Down To You Joni Mitchell - Refuge of the Roads Joni Mitchell - Slouching Towards Bethlehem  Joni Mitchell - Shades of Scarlet Conquering Joni Mitchell - Cool Water (with Willie Nelson) Joni Mitchell - The Jungle Line Joni Mitchell - Song For Sharon Joni Mitchell - Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire Joni Mitchell - Night Ride Home Joni Mitchell - Taming the Tiger Joni Mitchell - Snakes & Ladders Joni Mitchell - Raised on Robbery Joni Mitchell - Jericho Joni Mitchell - Lakota Joni Mitchell - The Beat of Black Wings Joni Mitchell - You Turn Me On I’m A Radio (Live) The Delfonics - Ready or Not Here I Come Funkadelic - Maggot Brain Incredible Bongo Band - Apache The Stylistics - People Make The World Go Round Manual - Crockett’s Theme Jessica Pratt - This Time Around Jessica Pratt - Poly Blue Jessica Pratt - Baby, Back Jessica Pratt - Aeroplane Tony Allen - Stick Around Basia - Promises Basia - New Day For You Basia - Cruising For Bruising Basia - Drunk On Love Basia - Third Time Lucky America - Tin Man Weyes Blood - Andromeda Ladytron - Far From Home Ladytron - Deadzone Ladytron - The Island St. Vincent & Dua Lipa | Masseduction / One Kiss | 2019 GRAMMYs Janelle Monáe - Make Me Feel (LIVE at the 61st GRAMMYs) Still Corners - The Trip Still Corners - Strange Pleasures FM-84 - Bend & Break Robyn - Send To Robin Immediately The Ultimate Kate Bush Experience - Shambush Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill Kate Bush - Hounds of Love [Full Album] Kate Bush - Babooshka Kate Bush - The Sensual World Kate Bush - Hammer Horror Kate Bush - Love and Anger Katie Lee - Stay as Sick as You Are America - You Can Do Magic Blonde Redhead - Magic Mountain Harry Nilsson - Gotta Get Up In These Streets Lorelle Meets the Obsolete - Unificado Sneaks - Ecstasy Linear Movement - Way Out Of Living Alex Lilly - Pornographic Mind Caribou - Melody Day (Four Tet Remix feat. Luke Lalonde Adem and One Little Plane) Def Leppard - Hysteria Sigrid - Sight of You The Charlie Steinmann Orchestra And Singers - It's Such a Good Night (Scoobidoo Love) Alice Coltrane - Blue Nile Les McCann - Roberta Pharoah Sanders - Astral Travelling  Pure Bathing Culture - Scotty Jamila Woods - EARTHA Patricia Barber - Too Rich For My Blood Mary Jane Girls - All Night Long LL Cool J - Around the Way Girl Keep Shelly In Athens - Bendable Absolute Jest: I. Beginning · John Adams · San Francisco Symphony · St. Lawrence String Quartet · Michael Tilson Thomas Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule the World Futurecop! - Fade Away (feat. NINA) Steve Gunn - New Moon Moving Panoramas - ADD Heart Elizabeth Barraclough - Don’t TV Me Klymaxx - Meeting In the Ladies Room Salt Cathedral - Go and Get It feat. Big Freedia & Jarina DeMarco Brian Eno - Ambient 1: Music for Airports [Full Album] Calexico and Iron & Wine - Midnight Sun Cate Le Bon - The Light Cate Le Bon - Daylight Matters Jack White at Château de Fontainebleau I A Take Away Show Tammy Wynette - Your Good Girl’s Gonna Go Bad Stella Donnelly - Die Portishead - Sour Times Portishead at Roseland New York City Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts Warpaint - Disco//Very - Keep It Healthy  Jessica Pratt - Fare Thee Well Jessica Pratt - Here My Love Alvvays - Saved By A Waif Alvvays - Dreams Tonite Alvvays - Forget About Life Alvvays - Plimsoll Punks Tame Impala - Patience Godzilla: Old Rivals - Bear McCreary( Godzilla: King of Monsters Soundtrack) Alloy Tracks - Somewhere Over the Rainbow | Godzilla: King of the Monsters (Beautiful Trailer Theme) Girl Crisis - The Sign Siouxsie and the Banshees - Captain Scarlet Boards of Canada - Macquarie Ridge Tōth - Practice Magic And Seek Professional Help When Necessary (Full Album) Wyatt - Attention Fontaines D.C. - Hurricane Laughter (Darklands Version) Matthew and the Atlas - Counting Paths Matthew and the Atlas - Old Ceremony Sufjan Stevens - Love Yourself Computer Magic - Hudson Grizzly Bear - Mourning Sound Lana Del Rey - Doin Time Chastity Belt - Trapped Kero Kero Bonito - Make Believe Eberhard Weber - T. On A White Horse Endre Hegedus - VI. Golliwogg's Cake-Walk, Debussy: Children's Corner / Suite Bergamasque LCD Soundsystem - oh baby Dominique Young Unique - Throw It Down Leikeli47 - Money Santigold - Look At These Hoes Handsome Boy Modeling School - Holy Calamity (Bear Witness II) Perfume Genius - Slip Away DJ Shadow - "Nobody Speak" feat. Run The Jewels St. Vincent - Fast Slow Disco Marion Cotillard and Metronomy - Is She Really Going Out With Him Patti Smith - Gloria King Princess - Cheap Queen Ingrid Michaelson - Best Friend Kindness - Hard To Believe Kim Petras - Clarity Kim Petras - Another One Cowboy Junkies - Dreaming My Dreams With You Rihanna - Same Ol’ Mistakes Screaming Trees - Nearly Lost You Sailors of Neptune - Car Song Photay - Outré Lux (feat. Madison McFerrin) Ella Fitzgerald - I’ll Never Be The Same Timecop1983 - My First Crush (feat. Trevor Something) Toro Y Moi - Cola The Cinematic Orchestra - Wait For Now/Leave The World (feat. Tawiah) Charli XCX & Christine and the Queens - Gone Hayley Kiyoko - I Wish Jambalaya Brass Band - Tumbao Frosty and the Diamonds - Destination Mars Plumb - Blush (Only You) Evanescence - Anywhere Courtney Barnett - Avant Gardener Christine and the Queens - Need You Tonight (INXS Cover) Dua Lipa - Be The One (80's Power Ballad Remix) Bomba Estéreo - Corazón Zola Jesus - Wiseblood (Johnny Jewel Remix) The Bangles - Going Down To Liverpool Trills - Hush King Princess - Prophet Emily Wells - I’m No Heroine Ariel Pink - Bubblegum Dreams Missy Elliott - Throw It Back Missy Elliott Performs 'Get Ur Freak On', 'Lose Control' & More | 2019 Video Music Awards Miranda Lambert - Way Too Pretty for Prison Miranda Lambert - The House That Built Me Miranda Lambert - We Should Be Friends Miranda Lambert - Mama’s Broken Heart Maya Hawke - To Love a Boy Flowers (Eurydice's Song) - (Anaïs Mitchell - Hadestown) Young Ejecta • Welcome To Love Kelis - Bossy ft. Too $hort Lindsay Lohan - Bossy Natalie Cole - Lush Life Grimes & i_o - Violence The Highwomen - Redesigning Women Lana Del Rey - Season Of The Witch Anita Carter - Ring of Fire Jack Hylton - Wedding of the Painted Doll Earth, Wind, and Fire - Fantasy DJ Boring - Winona DJ Boring - Goodbye Michael Rob Reich - Shimmytown Shuffle Sarah Vaughan - Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most King Princess - Playboy School of Pop Broken Social Scene - Anthems For A Seventeen-Year Old Girl Jenny Hval - Lions (feat. Vivian Wang) Minny Riperton - Les Fleurs Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov ‒ Procession of the Nobles Firebird - 13. Infernal Dance Of All Of Kashchei's Subjects Kylie Minogue - Dancing Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - All Hail Dracula! Jana Hunter | You Belong Here Bat For Lashes - The Hunger Bat For Lashes - Laura Zero 7 - Swimmers Tame Impala - It Might Be Time Hannah Williams & The Affirmations - Woman Got Soul Galantis & Dolly Parton - Faith feat. Mr. Probz The KLF - 3am Eternal The KLF feat. Tammy Wynette - Justified & Ancient Pet Shop Boys - What Have I Done To Deserve This Pet Shop Boys - Always On My Mind Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls Til Tuesday - Voices Carry St. Vincent - Laughing With A Mouth of Blood Spice Girls - 2 Become 1 Tennis - Runner Giles Reaves - ‎"Sowelu (Wholeness)" Taeko Ohnuki - Sunshower (Full Album) 80s Japanese Fusion Summer Mix (Fusion Jazz, City Pop, Funk, Soul...) Tamaryn - Dreaming The Dark (Full Album) Swing Out Sister - Breakout Ayane Yamazaki - 眠りの理由 "Women Of Country Performance" | Live from CMA Awards 2019 Reba McEntire - "Fancy" | Live from CMA Awards 2019 Seal - Crazy Seal - Violet Tame Impala - Posthumous Forgiveness Richard Wagner - The Flight of the Valkyries The Black Angels - Yellow Elevator #2 Bonnie Raitt - Unnecessarily Mercenary Norah Jones - Flipside Genesis Owusu - WUTD Lana Del Rey - Mariners Apartment Complex 10,000 Hz Legend - Don’t Be Light Air Miami - See Through Plastic Kitchens Of Distinction - Margaret's Injection Sebastian Böhm - Blue Monday (Official "Wonder Woman 1984" Trailer Music) Primitons - All My Friends Heavens To Betsy – Waitress Hell Romania - Planes Dionne Farris - I Know CeCe Peniston - Finally Robin S - Show Me Love La Bouche - Be My Lover Stilz - Wavelength Tennis - Need Your Love The Fixx - One Thing Leads To Another The Fixx - Saved By Zero The Fixx - Red Skies The Fixx - Stand Or Fall Kajagoogoo - Too Shy Nik Kershaw - Wouldn't It Be Good Howard Jones - Like To Get To Know You Well Jane Child - Don't Wanna Fall In Love Information Society - What’s On Your Mind (Pure Energy) Icehouse - No Promises The Spiral Starecase - More Today Than Yesterday Caroline Rose - Feel The Way I Want Frank & His Sisters - Mwanangu Lala KIRLIAN CAMERA - Blue Room Look Blue Go Purple | Cactus Cat Look Blue Go Purple | Circumspect Penelope Look Blue Go Purple - I Don't Want You Anyway The Bats | North By North Best Coast - Everything Has Changed Best Coast  - For The First Time War And Peace / Gab Is Stabbed · Joseph LoDuca Tashaki Miyaki - I Only Have Eyes for You (the Flamingos cover - Little Big Planet 3 OST) Angel Olsen - Who’s Sorry Now Anna Calvi - Love of my life | Empty Space #5 The Flamingos - I Only Have Eyes For You Supergrass - Moving Supergrass - Late In the Day Supergrass - Richard III Panda Bear - Sequential Circuits Computer Magic - Be Fair Computer Magic - Fuzz Computer Magic - Spaces The Amazing - Tell Them You Can’t Leave Anna Calvi - Hunter Anna Calvi - Swimming Pool Carly Simon - Nobody Does It Better Duran Duran - Rio Duran Duran - Save A Prayer Duran Duran - My Own Way Anna Calvi - Eden Anna Calvi - Indies or Paradise She & Him - I Can Hear Music Soloist Mari Silje Samuelsen - Antonio Vivaldi - "Summer" from four seasons Vivaldi Four Seasons: "Winter" (L'Inverno), complete; Cynthia Freivogel, Voices of Music  Para One · Arthur Simonini-La Jeune Fille en Feu (Bande originale du film) Agnes Obel - The Curse (Berlin Live Session) St. Vincent - Los Ageless Billie Ellish - No Time To Die King Princess - Hit The Back (Dance Video) Men I Trust - Show Me How Lady Gaga - Stupid Love Agnes Obel - Fuel To Fire Beach House - Space Song Sufjan Stevens - Visions of Gideon Agnes Obel - Broken Sleep snarls - Walk In the Woods Dixie Chicks - Not Ready to Make Nice (Live from MMXVI Tour) Dixie Chicks - Gaslighter Conspiracy of Owls - "Ancient Robots" Conspiracy of Owls - A Silver Song Sigrid - Home To You Tierra Whack – Unemployed Jenny Hval - Accident Caroline Polachek - So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings

𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒘𝒏𝒆𝒚, 𝐒𝐘𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋.

        ❝   yesterday,   you   were   an   OLD   MAN   spitting   cherry   pits   into   the   weeds.   today   you   are   a   fisherman’s   daughter,   dragging   small   minnow-nets   through   the   𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒔.   tomorrow   you   could   be   a   DOE-EYED   dancer,   an   ash-stained   chimney   sweep,   a   beggar   singing   psalms,   anyone.   when   you   lean   over   the   side   of   the   lake,   the    𝐫𝐞𝐝   𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐲   𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬   whisper,   be   free.   taste   the   air.   do   you   feel   the   echoes   of   ancient   energies   moving   into   new   bodies?   they   learn   of   suffering   and   beauty,   again,   again.   𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑   𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒   𝐀𝐑𝐄   𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘   𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐒.   ❞ 

         hey,   isn’t   that   SYBILL   PATRICIA   TRELAWNEY?   i   read   a   daily   prophet   article   on   them,   once   ;   the   forty   eight   year   old   halfblood   WITCH   is   a   ravenclaw   alumnus   who   has   gone   on   to   be   the   professor   of   divination   at   hogwarts   school.   i’ve   heard   they   can   be   quite   ECCENTRIC   &   VIVACIOUS,   but   i   don’t   know...   they   came   off   very   RUMINATIVE   &   HAUGHTY   in   that   interview.   it   really   is   hard   to   know   what   to   believe   these   days   though,   isn’t   it?   click   𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   for   statistics   and    𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   for   her   pinterest.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘.

buckle up ! i’m abt to show u guys i can write a short or at least SNAPPY intro.

sybill was born in the seaside town of port isaac in 1972, the product of an affair between her pure blood mommy ( cressida trelawney ) and a muggle daddy ( edwin teague ). 

cressida knew abt edwin’s muggle wife. edwin’s muggle wife ( and his daughter eugenia, sybill’s half sibling ) did NOT know about his witchy gf. what happens in btwn the lines of the wizarding world stays within the lines of the wizarding world, ig.

sybill’s dad died p suddenly when she was six, and he didn’t leave anything to either her or her mum, cause... men ain’t shit ! learn it. anyway, sybill’s mum begged her slightly estranged family for like, something, and prob would have got NOTHING if she hadn’t said ‘hey, my daughter is totally the next cassandra ( and also DEFINITELY a pureblood )-’

this changed things a bit, even tho at the time... sybill had not shown any actual prophetic talent, lmao. she was a six yr old playing like, dolls, and trying to bring fishies home from the seashore in glass bottles, u know? 

the fam took them back under their wings, and sybill was told to keep her little mouth shut ( in like, a kind of nice way ) about both the fact she was a halfblood ( she prob didn’t conceptualize this one very well at six ) and the fact she was not a seer. she also prob didn’t conceptualize this very well. but playing pretend is something kids LIKE to do, so when cressida told sybill to say some mysterious things and play this role, she took to it immediately ! it was fun ! 

it stopped being fun PRETTY quickly, but as sybill got older and understood things a bit more, she clued in to the fact that her grandparents and extended trelawney family were quite... uh, to put it mildly, strict. her mum had gone out into the world on her own because she didn’t fit in the box that the trelawney’s had expected her to ( like a lot of pureblood fams ), and sybill was a lot more like cressida than she was the rest of her fam, and she was also, like. way more attached to her than she was them, so while it stopped being a fun game, she still kept to it for her mummy.

got her hogwarts letter. headed off. breathed an actual sigh of RELIEF when she was on the train, cause... she didn’t have to pretend to be something she was pretty sure she wasn’t anymore, and at hogwarts, she wouldn’t have to go through the ‘training’ and ‘lessons’ for her future as a famed seer that her fam were prepping her for. she got sorted into ravenclaw, which tracked ( most of the fam were ), and she just... went abt her life.

i know this is gonna sound wild. but at hogwarts, sybill was... exceedingly ordinary. she was a well behaved young lady who was assumed to be of quality breeding, and though her grandparents spoke highly of their little seer granddaughter to their friends, the kids and grandkids of those people didn’t really ... know much about this. sybill flew pretty far under the radar, and that was how she liked it. she graduated with top marks, turned of age, and started working for her grandparents on a full time basis in the little fortune teller shop they had at this point in time at the divide between knockturn alley and diagon alley - she’d already spent summers with them, so it was just one more step. still, no discernible seer talent.

very appropriately, it all started with death omens. sybill had always faked what she was seeing cause she sort of had to, so she’d always made the future sound pretty bleak - but there’s bleak and then there’s seeing grims wherever she went. a month later, her grandmother ( a woman who sybill could never decide was either a talented seer in her own right or a talented liar also ) was dead. it was sudden, and things seemed to escalate exponentially from here. within a year, her grandfather, an aunt and her own mother had passed on ; and sybill had started to notice. changes.

kinda hard not to notice the fact she was beginning to go to sleep in a very warm and cosy bed and wake up barefoot and naked in the middle of the creek at the bottom of the garden, arms raised to the sky, images seered to the back of her eyelids. sybill consulted dozens of healers. she was given dozens of different potions to aid her sleeping, she was told that she had been through a lot of loss in a short amount of time, it was natural to begin having sleeping issues and the images she saw were only NIGHTMARES, or dreams, or the echo of something normal from her subconscious. the potions didn’t work tho ! the spells, the advice, the grief counselling they sent her to... over the next while, sybill’s life really began to unravel, and she couldn’t understand it, so she definitely couldn’t explain it. 

throw everything together and mix some severe money issues in as sybill was never very good at actually running the store and was now dealing with a whole lot of confusing shit - she loses the shop, then the house, and this is what eventually brought her to albus dumbledore, where - haha ! - she made her first ever actual prophecy. fun ! sucks she doesn’t rmbr it <3 

sybill got the job based on that, but figured it was cause he liked her a lot ( he didn’t ). life straightens out somewhat, she moves into hogwarts ( did eventually buy a cottage in hogsmeade since she got married and w/e, but is back living in hogwarts now they’re divorced ), she terrifies students for many years over, blah blah blah. makes a second prophecy to harry potter ( doesn’t rmbr that one either ), fights in the battle of the astronomy tower, fights in the battle of hogwarts, yada yada yada.

i won’t say whether she ever thought herself a legitimate seer, or ever learned to think of herself as one, or ever figured that was maybe what her ( still persistent ) sleep walking was. got my thoughts ! think its fun to just leave it at : maybe ! maybe she’s a seer, maybe she’s half of one, maybe she’s a real good liar. she had plenty of practice ! either way, she really embraced her weirdness ( shoutout to mama cressida for teaching her to b weird and love every second of it ) and has spent the past couple decades just straight vibing. 

can’t think of anything else to add. come to syb if u want some wizard pot ?

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY ( sandra oh ) is looking for their EX WIFE / PARTNER who resembles SARAH SHAHI, RENEE ELISE GOLDSBERRY, CARLA GUGINO, SARAH RAFFERTY / ANY FC and should be 45+. applicants do have to contact RACHEL / PETRIICHVRS or DISCORD to talk over the details before applying.   (   i’m really open ! mostly because i'm entirely erasing the mr higglebottom thing, so we have so much freedom here in terms of… how they met, when they fell in love, how long they were married, how they’re dealing with the co-parenting thing, etc. sybill really did love them, that much i do know - but the marriage fell apart in my mind, sometime before the battle of hogwarts. maybe during her disastrous fifth year, when professor umbridge was, you know, attempting to ruin her life. i imagine they were a bit more maternal than sybill, and probably entertained / were even quite fond of how eccentric she was for years, but just eventually… got tired of it, or of how she wasn’t really putting their homelife above hogwarts, etc, and love just… was not enough to save ‘em. i think it’d be neat if they were a professor at hogwarts, too - maybe even a canonical one, like aurora sinistra ! - and their cute little staff room moments turned into total awkwardness for everyone else at the school < / 3   )

SYBILL TRELAWNEY ( sandra oh ) is looking for their ADOPTIVE CHILD who resembles TATI GABRIELLE, ASA BUTTERFIELD, KAYLEE BRYANT, VERNON CHWE / ANY FC and should be 18 - 22. applicants do have to contact RACHEL / PETRIICHVRS or DISCORD to talk over the details before applying.   (   you have some choices ! i don’t mind whether they’re biologically her ex wifes, for example, or whether they were adopted, and if so, they absolutely could have been adopted at a later age - in fact, i think it’d be really interesting if they were. they were raised by sybill and her now ex wife, anyway, and would have attended hogwarts - unless… honestly, if u wanted to go a route of them being a squib or something i would be HERE for it - but, really, i don’t think that sybill has been the best of mothers, especially since she’s always been the sort of woman to put her ‘career’ [ which in her case is just, her being a seer ] above all else. she never would have intended to be the absent parent, and i guarantee she’s tried to be the ‘fun one’ moreso than that, but i gotta say. huge believer in acknowledging the faults of my chars. honestly, i feel like kids just aren’t her thing, and the likelihood is she decided to make them her thing for her ex wife - but she relates better to like, fully formed people, and only in more recent years has probably started to try be more of the sort of person they need. whether they’re here for that or no is absolutely up to you !   )

❝ the simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them. ❞

( alisha boe, genderfluid, they/them ) · for a half-blood/werewolf, i’d call you lucky for not picking a side. why fight for what’s right versus what’s easy when you can just sit down, right claudia samatar ? i mean, a twenty-four year old potioneer knows better than to get involved in political affairs, especially a horned serpent from ilvermorny. didn’t i hear that at school people used to describe you as adroit and secretive. staying neutral is always harder than it initially seems. ( the smell of blooming lilies of the valley in the spring, softly running your fingers through your child’s hair, the calmness of a beautiful and bright starry sky you’re looking up at far away from any big city, refusing to get your eyesight fixed because you love wearing glasses too much, re-reading a book so often yet taking such good care of it that it doesn’t even show in its physical quality & sun rays piercing through the clouds after a rainy day / sam )

— ♡ CHARACTER PARALLELS ( MOST LIKE ) :: Amy Santiago ( Brooklyn Nine-Nine ) + C3PO ( Star Wars ) + Nina Sayer ( Black Swan ) + Temperance Brennan ( Bones ) + Lisa Simpson ( The Simpsons ) + Spencer Hastings ( Pretty Little Liars ) + Burton Guster ( Psych ) + Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow ( Marvel ) + Lois Lane ( DC Comcis ) + Monica Geller ( F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ) !!

— ♡ CHARACTER PARALLELS ( LEAST LIKE ) :: Ash Ketchum ( Pokemon ) - Naruto Uzumaki ( Naruto ) - Titus Andromedon ( The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt ) - Phoebe Buffay ( F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ) - Joey Tribbiani ( F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ) - Bart Simpson ( The Simpsons ) - Gina Linetti ( Brooklyn Nine-Nine ) - Olaf ( Frozen ) - Bridget Jones ( Bridget Jones’s Diary ) - Michael Scott ( The Office )

TRIGGER WARNINGS THAT CAN BE FOUND BELOW THE CUT: Pregnancy.

STATS PAGE + CONNECTIONS + PINTEREST BOARD

i’m not including a tldr in this intro bc lazy(tm), but if you want a lil summary, you can just ask me for it and i’ll write one for you !

backstory.

Claudia is the child of a healer and a muggle doctor. Both their parents were very busy whilst they and their younger siblings were growing up, and yet, Claudia’s parents always managed to make time for their children. They were strict, always expecting a lot from Claudia and their siblings, but there was never any doubts that the Samatars loved their children.

All in all, Claudia had a pretty eventless childhood. They were happy, had all they needed, and though there were some rougher patches in their life, especially around puberty, they generally were very happy.

Their extended maternal family was from Montréal, and every summer, Claudia and their siblings spent at least a month there with their grandparents, which Claudia looked forward to every year. Their grandparents got them to travel all around Québec, whilst also discovering Montréal itself, and Claudia loved traveling around the province with them. It was there, when they were thirteen, that Claudia was bitten and turned into a werewolf. They were camping in Mont-Tremblant, and Claudia had made some friends they had figured out were from the wizarding community too (but went to Beauxbâtons because they didn’t speak English). One night, Claudia sneaked out of the camping site with them to explore the woods, and the little group got attacked by a werewolf. They all made it out alive, though two of them were severely hurt, and the other three became werewolves (and were obviously hurt too).

At first, Claudia blamed themself very strongly for what happened to them, yes, but mostly for what happened to their new friends. Sure, they hadn’t been the one to present the idea of going out alone into the forest, but they hadn’t been the voice of reason like they usually were, and they felt extremely bad about that. They kept in touch with the rest of the group after that, and eventually, it was through talking to them that they managed to lessen their feeling of guilt.

Claudia was scared at first, to be honest. They had done a project about werewolf rights at Ilvermorny before they were turned, and truly cared about the rights of werewolves, but they had never considered what would happen to them if they were turned, and it was quite a shock. Mostly, the pain of transformations was the worst bit. After a while, their parents managed to find the right potions to make things better, and knew someone who could make the potion that would make transformations far less dangerous for everyone around, but the first few transformations were very painful, and Claudia had never dealt well with pain.

Luckily for them, they had a good support system, and though it wasn’t easy, they learned to live with their condition. In fact, they even ended up telling their friends at school about it in their last year, knowing fully well that the news would travel as one of the friends they had told couldn’t keep a secret no matter how much she respected Claudia. 

In school, Claudia loved Potions class, and they had no hesitations before going into potion work after graduating. Not only did they actually really enjoy making potions, but they also loved the idea of being able to make the potion they needed for their transformations all by themself.

Now a freelance potioneer, Claudia sells most of their potions in various apothecaries and shops, and has a own line of products. It’s not super big yet, but they have a good sense of business, and with the help of their aunt (a well-accomplished businesswoman), they believe they might be able to make it bigger.

Last year, Claudia gave birth to their daughter, Aurora. At the time, Claudia had a serious boyfriend, but they’ve amiably broken up since (this is currently a fulfilled connection). They each have Aurora for a week, and Claudia agreed to let her ex have Aurora on Christmas, as Claudia has never cared much for Christmas, but insists on having her for New Years and Aurora’s birthday.

Claudia was a bit young to have a child, but they quickly got used to the judgmental stares, and only cared about it at the beginning. After all, being a werewolf, Claudia was used to judgmental people, and was quite good at detaching themself from others’ opinions. The only thing they did worry about was if their daughter would resent them for the fact that she’d necessarily inherit some werewolf traits, but Claudia has come to the conclusion that they’ll deal with that in time, if it ever becomes a problem for Aurora.

All in all, Claudia’s a good parent, although she’s obviously constantly learning and makes mistakes, just like all parents. Luckily enough for them, they’re currently living with their aunt in Manhattan, and though Julia (their aunt) doesn’t get involved in the raising of Aurora, she’s been a lot of help in general. 

present day.

Claudia is genderfluid, and only realized that about two years ago. They prefer they/them pronouns, and at the moment, they prefer “feminine” nouns like witch, mother, queen, princess, aunt, sister, etc.

Claudia thought about doing something. After all, they want the world to be a safe place for Aurora, and so it would make sense to fight for that. However, they also want to be there for their daughter, and therefore have decided to stay neutral. For now.

personality.

Claudia is very down-to-earth and often finds themself being the voice of reason. They do enjoy having fun, though, although that fun often goes through reading, going to see theatre, older muggle movies, etc. They’re not much of a party person, and though they have a few very good friends, don’t really like spending time in big groups, which is why they work on their own. They do know they might have to hire more people if they want their business to grow, but to them, there’s a difference between employing people and having a billion friends.

To-the-point, Claudia says it how it is, and doesn’t stray from what they want to say very often. They’re very honest, and sometimes maybe a bit too honest. They’ve been working on that, though, as they really don’t mean and/or want to offend/hurt/wound others with their words.

Claudia doesn’t share much about themself, and can even be considered secretive. They keep to themself most of the time, and although they do open up to their few close friends, they never reveal more than what they think is necessary.

hello im (F, 24) an idiot and forgot to post tessa’s (F, 22, fictional) intro!

pls bare in mind most of this was written 5+ years ago n i haven’t written tessa since 2015...... but lets get this show (LOCKWOODRP) on the road (DASHBOARD). 

tw school shooting, tw bipolar disorder

art hoe. always covered in paint. why?? she bad at painting

the mark rothko jackson pollock kind of bad tho wher people are like.... omg.... revolutionary..... its a badly drawn vagina

fuckin loves astrology, but cant take it that seriously bcos one of her bfs was a gemini so there’s some lenience there. but she WILL blame her hormones and mood swings on the positon of mars

embodies pure sunshine. 

one of those really annoying people that can go through the most traumatic shit and still find a positive spin. 

cares so much for others but does not really care for herself n it’s meant she just bottles up all this shit n when someone asks her how her day has gone she just falls on the ground like tht bit in midsommar when florence does that loud wheezy noise and sits down 

has never really had much money at all. learns to make-do with what she has. loves upcycling!! her bookshelf is made from cardboard which she’s reinforced by pappering it over with pages ripped out of thrifted books. her sofa is an old car boot which she’s repainted, put on wheels and stuffed w cushions so that it’s actually bearable to sit on.

her knitted cardigan? its made out of wife material.

knits all the time. will crochet you a christmas scarf. if ur lucky you might get a knitted jumper with a penis in a santa hat

still sleeps with cuddly toys n then wonders why ppl dont think she’s mature enough for a serious relationship

very passionate about Sister Doing It For THemselves!! raised by a single mom who worked her ass off so that tessa could do fun activities after school, have lelli kelly shoes, and go to college (not necessarily in tht order of importance)

tessa was born out of wedlock as the result of an affair between her mom (a journalism intern in her early 20s) and a new york times editor. 

the editor offered to pay tessa’s mom off to have an abortion, but she was like fuck u and told the papers he’d done that and used the money to cover the cost of her internship which they refused to pay her for

and because of the scandal, he ended up going through a pretty messy divorce with his wife, and losing custody of his kids. so as a child  tessa was seen as the cause of a divorce and received mutliple letters from the editors wife (to tessa personally!) and his kids saying how she had ruined everything, but her mom moved them to another town so tessa didn’t have to deal with that crap. 

her mom worked 3 jobs to put her through school, so in return tessa pushes herself incredibly hard to succeed. needs a break and a hug and to get laid to be honest. 

an old soul. likes old films, old music, old people. only recently got an iphone 5s so not really with this century yet

very sweet and soft and kind but also a fucking mess and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion. she’ll take comfort, but not advice. 

feminist buddhist bisexual vegetarian for human rights and animal welfare. standing on a soapbox shouting about the climate in the quad, shoving flyers into your hands. flyers everwhere. she turns up at your grandmas funeral and shoves one into her mouth. she’s stolen the mic from the vicar to talk about pandas.

says “mother of pearl” and “heavens to betsy”.

had an affair with her married piano teacher and he’s now facing a custody battle and his wife is leaving him and tessa has completely internalised that guilt despite her being the victim in the scenario

aesthetics: paint splattered jeans, loose curls spilling from a scrunchie, thrifted blouses in bright yellow, guzzling coffee in the library at three am when a term paper’s due, shoddily illustrated campaign posters to save endangered species, polaroids plastered to your bedroom walls with scribbled dates on the frames, jumping into a stack of autumn leaves, jumping off piers in the summer months and stripping off your wet clothes on the beach, digging your thumbs into peaches to leave a bruise, smoking with the extractor fan on to hide the smell, bath bombs, letting the girls at lush rub samples all over your skin, cacti with knitted bobble hats, decorative pillows and sun and moon blanket throws, basic bitch fairy lights hanging from every single window, painting the name of the boys you’ve loved inside your wardrobe door.

studies fine art and philosophy, and wants to become either a lecturer or the first woman president. vibe wise, very similar to leslie knope, missy from big mouth, and basically the naive everygirl with a high opinion of themselves trope

gets drunk off like one double vodka lemonade because she’s small and she’s a pretty messy wild drunk. it’s when slutty tessa comes out, and the next day she’ll thoroughly regret every choice made and decide she’s never drinking again and cutting out all men and starting daily sudoko

on the cheerleading team and is a flyer, which she sees as a HUGE responsibility and she works really hard to make sure she’s on it for her team. one of those get up at 7am and go to the gym before school types its sickening

she had a really traumatic time at high school because there was a shooting in her school. she was in the next classroom when it happened, and she lost one of her friends in the shooting. she had to take two months off school, was diagnosed with depression and put on anti-depressants because of it. in her 2nd year of uni she was rediagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety, which she’s now on medication for. she can be really good for several months at a time and feel super creative and determined (she actually finds manic periods helpful for her creativity n art, n sadly sometimes doesn’t take her meds in these periods to push herself more which is obvs super bad.....). but when the bad periods come they can also last months n she had to take a semester out of school last year because of her mood, so she should be a senior by now but she’s retaking junior year

she attends weekly stress-management sessions prescribed by her doctor which she finds pointless.

very childish in the sense that she can only see her own point of view and kind of views herself as the “protagonist” and thinks her ideas are super important and life changing and she IS Destined for Greatness! despite being pretty much average af

pinterest board.

STATS

age: 22

height: 5'2"

positive traits: kind-hearted, gregarious, selfless, philosophical, open minded, idealistic, courageous, feisty, charismatic, loyal, adventurous.

negative traits: stubborn, hot-headed, reticent, escapist, self-destructive, easily led, naive, troubled, complicated, stepford smiler, envious, overdramatic, explosive.

distinguishing Marks: heart-shaped birthmark on the right of her chest, splattering of freckles across the cheeks during summer months, full lips, large eyes, porcelain features, long wavy hair, tattoo of a bird and a cage on her ankles and a basic bitch arrow tat on her wrist (srry to anyone with an arrow tat).

skills: jack-of-all-trades, talented pianist, perceptive, knows the correct way to throw a punch, good survival instinct, is able to remain calm in stressful situations, endures, artistic, excels in academic studies, hard-working and self-motivated, expert liar and talented actress.

likes: wolves, vintage thrift store fashion, old leather-bound books, left-wing democratic politics, cigarettes, poetry, John Hughes movies, cold coffee, hot tea, the sound of laughter, staying up til 4am having deep conversations, Tchaikovsky, having deep conversations about life, stationary, DC Comics, horoscopes, winged eyeliner, cats, knee-high socks, house music, abandoned buildings, studio ghibli, the smell of the earth after rain, Wes Anderson films, herbal tea, old people, solitude, esoteric things, the smell of freshly baked bread, Charles Bukowski, the moon.

fears: death, oblivion, global warming, losing those she loves, isolation, clowns, guns, enclosed spaces.

nicknames: Tess, T-Dog, Tessie, Socrates, Princess, Sunshine Girl, Florence Nightingale.

alignment: Neutral Good

MBTI type: INFP

BIOGRAPHY

tw school shooting

Her story begins with Cordelia Costello, a twenty-three year old college drop-out, turned beautician, turned columnist, turned intern at a local publishing company. She was a youthful, beautiful, siren of a women, always surrounded by an aura of enigma and an entourage of men. It was no surprise to the gossips in the office that within six months working at the company, Cordelia had added to her list another title – mistress to Franklin Hozier, the Editor of the New York Times. After two blissful months and three hundred and twenty seven orgasms, Cordelia decided she wanted a baby. Franklin laughed in her face. Feeling isolated and used, Cordelia continued her affair with her boss’ boss for another month, before deciding to take matters into her own hands.

It started with a turkey baster.

Soon the infant cries of a baby girl graced the world, her wrinkled skin puckered and pink as her mother held her in her arms, glancing upon the most beautiful thing in her life. Once Tessa, named after Cordelia’s favourite literary heroine, entered the world, Franklin left her life and things took a turn for the better. Despite living in a rented one-bedroom apartment in Staten Island, on what little money Cordelia had saved, Tessa’s childhood years were filled with nothing but the happiest of memories. Times were tough, but what they lacked in money, the Costello’s made up in love. While Tessa was at school, Cordelia did odd jobs cleaning, child-minding, working in local nurseries, in order to save up enough money to give her daughter the best start in life.

Despite what she had been led to believe by television shows and teen movies, the first few years of High School were some of the best years of her life. Tessa threw herself into a multitude of activities that High School offered her, including the drama club, the orchestra, choir, badminton and the school newspaper. While she certainly wasn’t considered ‘popular’ at school, Tess had a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. In fact, High School was a place where she made some of the greatest memories of her life, but come her final year, it was also a place where she was haunted by some of her worst.

On the January 17th of Tessa’s senior year of high school, a shooting took place in Westville High School. For two hours Tessa locked herself in a supply cupboard, her head between her knees as she tried to stay silent despite the screams of horror from the corridor. Eighteen students were caught in the crossfire, two of which were Tessa’s best friends. Bouquets of flowers, laminated photographs, Teddy Bears in cling-film bags attached to balloons littered the streets as families and friends came to pay tribute to the eighteen students withered before they had a chance to bloom.

It took two months of therapy before Tessa could return to school. Some of the survivors could never return due to the horrors that their eyes had laid witness to. Sometimes Tessa felt like a part of her had died with the friends that were stolen from her too soon, but one thought kept her going through: she had survived, she was alive and breathing, and she could not afford to loose a second of the precious time she had been granted on this earth. Despite the nightmares that continued to haunt her each night, Tessa found in the aftermath of the disaster a new sense of motivation. She began applying for scholarships for colleges without her mother’s knowledge, in the hope that her academic success would be enough to carry her through further education. Thankfully, it was, and after three torturous months of waiting Tess was offered an arts scholarship to her dream school, Lockwood University, where she hoped she could finally start to rebuild her life.

THE PRESENT:

Life at university was like a separate world. Students came and went like moths among the whisperings and the tequila and the stars. In this new world, Tessa was exposed for the first time in her life to alcohol, drugs, and the sexual appetites of other students her age – though she politely declined all three. Instead, Tessa threw herself into the vast array of activities in the hope that by distracting herself she could escape the terrible flashbacks that continued to haunt her. Tessa joined the lacrosse team, despite never having played before, and took up cheerleading discovering a new talent; she joined the musical theatre group, and the film club, and even set up her own acapella singing society. But despite how much she tried to throw herself into student life, her past hung around her like a bad smell, and with the added pressure of the Sinking Ships zine, Tess began to feel the weight of her secret tying her down like a pair of shackles around her wrists.

PERSONALITY:

If someone was to describe Tessa in a single word, it would most likely be ‘bubbly’, ‘open-minded’ or ‘sweet’. But they would be wrong – Tessa is not bubbly, or sweet, or stubborn, or hotheaded, or fiesty, or infectious, or any of the things the world see her as, but merely a numb and lonely echo of the gregarious, halcyon girl she once was. Tessa Costello was one of life’s enigmas. No one knew who she was, for to each person she met she wore a different mask – she dripped confidence, or was painfully shy; she was an exhibitionist, or a brooding wallflower; she took things too seriously, or not seriously at all. She was an actress and the world was her stage, each person she met a different member of the audience in the performance of her life. In truth, Tessa no longer even recognised herself. Insecure, and self-destructive, she tried to hang on to the extroverted, mischievous pieces of herself that everyone had once loved, but day by day it got harder to know what lay in the vacant holes blown through her mind. While she was stubborn and hot-headed, Tessa always saw the best in people, which meant that she was easily led astray. While she had grown up learning to be street smart and astute, she was idealistic and allowed silly fantasies to cloud her mind. By nature, she was passionate, which lead her to misimagine and romanticise those she met. Despite the hell she had witnessed, and the anxiety that feasted upon her, she believed that people were innately good and that to have courage and be kind could cure anyone of their sadness – yet she was unable to cure herself.

TWITTER:

@500daysoftessa: i blame disney films and musicals for my high expectations of men

@500daysoftessa: i am in love with the boy who works at starbucks. today i asked for a double latte and he gave me a tripple, which i think is proof that my love is requited. our children will be smart and talented and beautiful.

@500daysoftessa: little known historical fact: pharaohs were burried with their hands crossed over their chests because it was a popular belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

I know you’re supposed to let people ask you for numbers and THEN answer, but I’m pmsing really fucking hard and struggling to hold on to the one single brain cell I have that’s keeping me from breaking down and just screaming/trashing the place. SOOOOO here’s 100 questions nobody asked me to answer. 

1. A selfie?

Two or three months old, but I like it still. 

2. How old are you?

23 1/2.

3. What is your birthday?

Nov. 2 (Day of the Dead~)

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Scorpio

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple/Teal

6. What’s your lucky number?

5

7. Do you have any pets?

I, myself, have a cat, but my mom has three dogs and my estranged cat who couldn’t move into my apartment with me but whom my mom wouldn’t let me adopt once he COULD

8. Where are you from?

Corn. (Indiana.)

9. How tall are you?

5′7

10. What shoe size are you?

11 in women’s, 9 1/2 in men’s.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Um. I just moved and got rid of a bunch, so maybe 10 total

12. What was your last dream about?

Honestly, it was a sex dream about a friend’s sister. (Let’s not explore that, shall we?) 

13. What talents do you have?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL (I write fanfiction.)

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I have a shitton of deja vu that I think comes from dreams. It never does anything productive, but eh.

15. Favorite song?

Ah shit. To listen to, Rap God. To sing, La Vie en Rose. 

16. Favorite movie?

Taming of the Shrew, the Liz Taylor version.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Someone with a shitton of patience and an understanding of when to walk away from me before I break down. (Also, Fenris from DA2 or Cullen Rutherford.)

18. Do you want children?

FUCK THAT

19. Do you want a church wedding?

I wouldn’t mind having a wedding in a big, beautiful church like if it had a Window(tm) yknow, but there will be ZERO religion in my service. Even then, a wedding in a church is quite low on my list. My top three wedding preferences are:  countryside (but not the kind with cowboy boots and mud and a dirt-floor barn. I mean the bougie white bitch from the city doesn’t actually wanna get dirty kind of countryside,) seaside, and in the woods (like Twilight.)

20. Are you religious?

Nah. 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

I got a seatbelt ticket once and a written warning for speeding (which I’m still pissed about. I was on my way to say goodbye to my grandpa before he died.)

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Jonathan Frakes (TWICE!,) LeVarr Burton, and John DeLancie. It was supposed to be Brent Spiner in place of the 2nd Jonathan Frakes one, but with the fires in California and his son getting sick, he had to cancel. I was heartbroken. I adore him.

24. Baths or showers?

Depends on the tub. 

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Who wears socks at home in July?

26. Have you ever been famous?

When I was 13, I won second place in a national creative writing contest and 3 gold medals for state. My little hometown did a front-page article about me. It was most definitely the peak of my life. That’s about how fucking far down the barrel I am now. 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Money, yeah. Otherwise, nah. 

28. What type of music do you like?

All kinds but country. I have a special preference towards 50s ballads, lyrical rap, and 2000s summer hits like Cyclone and Right Thurr. 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Ye

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

6, generally.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I have one of those pillows with the little arms on the side that I flip upside down and cuddle into like I’m sleeping on someone’s chest. I can sleep like that for hours.

32. How big is your house?

1200sqft.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Coffee

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Yes. I’m a v good shot.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes. I’m a v good shot. 

36. Favorite clean word?

Pusillanimous.

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck nugget.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

4 days.

39. Do you have any scars?

A shitton. My favorite is the pair on my forehead that form a little 01. I also have a lot of self-harm scars across my breasts that I like. 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

As a joke, yeah, but I’ve never gotten like... actual honest-to-god love letters. 

41. Are you a good liar?

I used to be. I don’t see the point anymore. 

42. Are you a good judge of character?

No. I’m too eager to make friends. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

It’s not uncommon for me to accidentally do an accent from whatever show I was just watching, especially if I’m talking to myself. I can do a surprising variation on Spanish accents, but that’s also because of my Spanish linguistics class. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I have a weird accent. I say some things like I’m from Chicago (like, I say “hot dwawg”) but I say some things kind of southernish especially if I get mad, but some things I say Canadian and some British. 

45. What is your favorite accent?

Speaking English, Russian. Speaking their native language, Cuban.

46. What is your personality type?

INTP. Or, if you’re like me and don’t remember what that means, I’m a raging bitch who thinks she’s funny and tries too hard.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

My bridesmaid dress for my sister’s wedding. Fucking $460 after alterations. 

48. Can you curl your tongue?

No

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

150%

52. Favorite food?

Garlic

53. Favorite foreign food?

北京烤鸭. (Peking Duck.)

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Messy.

55. Most used phrased?

Cool beans///Suck a fuck. 

56. Most used word?

Fuck

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends where I’m going. Work or school, 10 minutes. To something with my family or friends, like an hour. But that’s because I just move slower, not because anything changes. 

58. Do you have much of an ego?

Yes. I’m conceited as shit. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck until they get riddled with holes. 

60. Do you talk to yourself?

60% of my verbal interactions are with myself, yes. (30% are with my pets, 10% with other people.) 

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yes. 

62. Are you a good singer?

I can match pitch. That doesn’t mean I should. 

63. Biggest Fear?

Ending up bogged down with kids I don’t want in a city I hate with a job I’ve been at for 10+ years. 

64. Are you a gossip?

Yes

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I really like the remake of Steel Magnolias with Queen Latifah, and Diary of a Mad Black Woman. 

66. Do you like long or short hair?

On me, long. On others, depends. 

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

If you give me a minute and a pen, maybe. 

68. Favorite school subject?

Band/English/Science. 

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Intro. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No

71. What makes you nervous?

The future

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Only after watching a ghost movie. 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Yes

74. Are you ticklish?

Do you bruise easily? 

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Yes

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Yes

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes, but not much. I asked my boyfriend to give me a sip of his 4 Loko and fucker was like, “nooo it’s illegal.” 

78. Have you ever done drugs?

What makes the boyfriend thing funny is we had spent literally that entire summer high of our asses, but “noooo, it’s illegal for you to drink.” His method of thinking was, It’s illegal for everyone to smoke weed, so it’s fair that everybody breaks that law, but it’s only illegal for people under 21 to drink so it’s not fair.

79. Who was your first real crush?

As in, a real person? Ethan Richards, elementary. I crushed on him for 5 years. (Caleb Smith was a close second, and looking back I think maybe he liked me, too.) But I wrote Ethan a note in 5th grade telling him I liked him and he super broke my heart. 13 years later and I’m still bitching about it. 

80. How many piercings do you have?

Currently, 9. I’ve had 13 though. 

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

No. I make L sounds instead, like Puerto Ricans do. 

82. How fast can you type?

150+wpm. I beat out my typing teacher in 7th grade. She gave us a party to celebrate. 

83. How fast can you run?

If I’m drunk, really fucking fast. Sober, not very. (I got wasted at a party and sprinted all the way across my apartment complex to run back to my room and help my roommate get more booze. It was incredible. I almost got hit by a car.) 

84. What color is your hair?

Brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Potentially shellfish bc everyone else in my family is. 

87. Do you keep a journal?

No

88. What do your parents do?

My dad’s dead, mom works in the registration division in a hospital. Idk what exactly. 

89. Do you like your age?

No. I’m too old to not know what I want to do in life but too young to know what I want to do in life, and I’m in debt and broke and I have no job and no prospects and everyone keeps asking me and it makes me break down and cry and

90. What makes you angry?

Stupid people. This goddamn dog. Lots of things. 

91. Do you like your own name?

Now that the “Becky” thing has subsided a little, yeah. I used to hate all versions of the name Rebecca, but I’m pretty content with Becca. Becca Eileen suits me pretty well I think. 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Psh. Even though I don’t want kids, yeah, I’ve thought of some. Most of them are ridiculous now. Fred and George for twins, Zane for a boy, Nonni for a girl, etc. Nothing I would actually choose now. 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I think assigning importance to the genitalia of my child is a fucking ridiculous and borderline disgusting thing to do. I would want a healthy child, if there were to be a child. 

94. What are your strengths?

Um. I can sleep for a really long time. 

95. What are your weaknesses?

Lol. Everything, my dude. Fucking everything. 

96. How did you get your name?

Eileen comes from my mom’s best friend in high school. Rebecca supposedly doesn’t come from anywhere, but my dad was married to a Rebecca before my mom and I think that’s just too fucking weird to forget. 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

I highly doubt it. 

98. Do you have any scars?

You already asked that. 

99. Color of your bedspread?

Black. It’s the Hogwarts school crest! 

100. Color of your room?

Beige. My mom wouldn’t let me pick a different color. When I get my own place that lets me color the walls, I want some nice, deep violets with an accent wall that has criss-crossed fuchsia and teal. 

Prologue

I LOVE, L-O-V-E this so much! It’s so complicated and I have no idea what I’m doing next with this, but I love it! So here it is… maybe the intro is a little boring, but I think I finally did something interesting with V, I feel like I never do him justice…

So hope you like this as much as I do!

You sigh, anticipating all the work you gonna have putting these records in order and removing the dust. All of this may sound dreadful or boring, but you honestly like being here by yourself. No, not by yourself, you have Aretha Franklin, Bernadete Peters, Freddie Mercury and so many more amazing people’s company. All of them have so much to tell you and you definitely have all the time to listen.

Working at your uncle’s records store started as a summer job, you didn’t want to spend the school break with your father, so you used this as an excuse. Yes, you needed the job to buy… tickets for a BTS concert, yes, that’s what you told your father. You just didn’t tell him that the concert happened and you didn’t go.

Not that you don’t like your father, but he’s been acting weird the past few years. He’s becoming overprotective and surly. He says it’s because you’re young, innocent and tend to try seeing the best in everyone. But you know, and he probably does too, that he’s like this because you’re starting to resemble your mother too much. He let her go, he couldn’t risk letting you go too.

And he’s not, you tell yourself, this is about enjoying freedom. People tend to think freedom has to do with wide landscapes in the mountains or in the beach, but sometimes, freedom has to do with being behind a old store’s balcony that smell like mold and listening to dusty vinyl records or CDs.  That’s what freedom means to you.

You always liked music, and music runs in this family’s veins. Your mother used to be a singer at a jazz band, maybe she still is? You don’t see her for… 3, 4  years? You’re not mad at her, she’s finally enjoying her freedom after that long and stressful process of divorce. Your uncle, owner of this store, was a one hit wonder in the 80s, one of many that popped up with some cheesy rock ballad that, once it enters your mind, doesn’t leave and you keep humming the song until it pisses yourself off.

And then there’s you, the only child of this frustrated jazz singer and a lawyer, the girl who joined the musical theatre club in her new school and watched as it was closed due to some budget cut. You miss that club, some people, and all those songs. Showtunes are amazing! They are so powerful and vibrant! Patti Lupone, Liza Minelli, Barbra Streisand… so many different talents representing a whole genre! A Chorus Line, Rent, Chicago… yeah, Chicago is dope!

You were listening to “Mr. Cellophane” and singing along when this tall guy with blue hair and sunglasses walked in. You didn’t notice him, as you had your back to the door, singing, replacing “mister” for “miss” in the lyrics and just… living the song, while you piled those records in a higher shelf.

Then you heard this clearing throat sound and turned to see the blue haired guy, smiling at you, with his hands on his pockets. Shit!

“H-Hi!” you stuttered, jumping from the stool and giving little taps on your pants, trying to get rid of the dust in your hands. “Can I help you?”

“Yes. I’m looking for a record.”

“Well, we have plenty of them!” he chuckled, oh, his smile is… dreamy…

“Yes, I should be more specific. I’m looking for Patti Smith?”

“Horses?”

“Close. Radio Ethiopia.”

“You’re in luck! Last copy!” you told as you reached for the record in the shelf next to the door, behind him. “And this is one of those albums my uncle puts a symbolic price on, so pay as much as you want or can pay.” Judging from his clothes and glasses, how much he could pay wouldn’t be a problem…

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, my uncle says you can’t put a price on true art, so…”

“So if I want to take this for free?”

“You can, but it would be pretty douchy.” Shit! Your uncle already scolded you for talking back to customers like this. Stupid!

“I agree.” And there’s that smile again. Shit! What is this sudden heat in your cheeks? “So I hope this is enough for true art?” you widen your eyes, this is… more than enough, it’s… too much, actually.

“Oh, uhm… you don’t need to…”

“I can pay as much as I want or can pay, right? I can and I want to pay this.” His tone is playful, but you can notice he’s a little annoyed, shouldn’t have called him a douchy…

“Well, okay…” you take the money reluctantly. “Anything else?”

“Do you have Cher?”

“Pre or post-actress carrer?”

“Post.”

“Second shelf in your right, third row. No, fourth row, actually.” You reorganized Cher in the summer.

He flipped through the records, and you headed back to the balcony, taking a chance to admire his features. How old could he be? 19, maybe 20? He looked like those wealth kids who decide to abandon his family business to go into a self-discovering journey to some place with rivers and waterfalls.

“I’ll take these two too. I guess your uncle doesn’t consider these true art.”

“He likes Cher as in Sonny & Cher.” He nods, looking really interested in this total random fact about your uncle.

“Are you from here? I never saw you around.” Oh, talking about being random…

“I moved in a couple of months. You?” you… don’t really like talking about yourself.

“Born and raised here. But I’m leaving for college next month.” Okay, no self-discovering journey, then.

“Cool. What will you study?”

“Fotography.” Yes, that suits this little character you just made up for him in your mind. “You?”

“I’m…not going to college.” Not now, and probably never. Your father can’t afford this. “ I mean, I need to survive high school first.”

“Sophomore?”

“Freshman.”

“Well, I’ll be a freshman too pretty soon.” Cocky bastard. “Where do you go to?”

“Daykey High School” his smile widens. So… beautiful…

“Have you ever heard about Jihyun Kim?”

“No…?” some of his friends?

“Oh, people usually know him as V.” oh… yeah, it rings a bell.

“He used to play bass on that band, what’s the name? Uhm… Mysterious…”

“Mystic Messenger.”

“Yeah! Fucking weird name!” you scoff and he chuckles.

“Well, V named it.”

“V was probably high on something.” You notice he gets a little surprised at your response.

“You bet.” He takes his glasses off, and you feel this shiver rolling down your spine, his eyes are… mesmerizing… you could look at his eyes forever…but forever  doesn’t last long as this blonde girl storms inside the store.

“Honey, did you forget to meet me at the dress store?”

“Sorry, honey. I just found this record store and thought I could find something. Look at this, Patti Smith! And I was almost for free!” LIAR!

“Ugh, sweetie, you need to stop reliving the dead.”

“Patti Smith is alive.” You say, immediately regretting for letting her notice you were paying attention to their conversation.

“Yeah… whatever. Can we go? The dust here is closing my throat, we don’t need another problem like that, do we?”

Oh, you actually know her, she’s a senior at your school! Yes, you remember seeing her during the senior meet freshman gathering on your first day. She’s… even more beautiful dressed this casually and with her hair free of the ponytail she usually has. Oh, and she sings in that weird band, Mystic Messenger or whatever. Or she used to… didn’t she leave because she’s being hired as a backing vocal for Taylor Swift? That’s the rumor on why she left… so what is she doing here?

“Okay, my sun. Let’s grab a lunch and I’ll take you home so you can get your meds.” My sun? You can’t hold back a scoff, looking at the money, then you raise your head and find both of them looking at you. Shit!

“Yeah, the mold… is making my throat close too.” You cough, and it’s actually pretty convincing… isn’t it? Judging from her face, it’s not.

“Come ooonnn!” she whines.

“Yes, get the car started, my flower. I’ll be there in a minute.” She walks away, stomping. Maybe she knows being called a flower it’s kinda ridiculous?

“Well, it was nice to meet you. Oh, and I agree with your uncle, you can’t put a price on true art, so I was wondering if you would lend your voice for free?”  What?

You look puzzled as he takes a crumpled paper out of his wallet and hands to you. Oh, you recognize it! It’s a poster, it was hanging everywhere in the hallways. Yes, that band is looking for a new lead singer. What is he saying? Oh… he listened to you singing! Shit! You held back all of your embarrassment, but now you couldn’t hide it anymore…

“They’re holding auditions until Friday.” What? Does he really think you will audition for this? Why would you even do that?

“V, I swear to God if you don’t come right now…” the girl shows up again. Wait… V? Oh… FUCK!

“Just think about it. You have an amazing voice, you can really show your talent there. Oh, and if you want to get high sometimes, I heard their former bass player throws great parties.” He winks at you, you would be blushing if you weren’t completely dead.

You closed the door at night and went home, the crumpled paper in your jacket pocket. That’s what happens when you try to flirt, right? First, the guy already has a girlfriend. Second, you called him a pot-head in his face. So… stupid!

But you can’t stop thinking about what he said… he said your voice was amazing… no! He said it was true art! Like Patti Smith! TRUE ART! Well… to be honest, you know you sing well, otherwise you wouldn’t have been accepted in the musical theater club, which was closed a little after you joined… no, but it wasn’t your fault… they cut the program so the soccer team could have a bus for the state championship or… you don’t really remember the excuse the principal gave.

Truth is, you miss singing, you miss the stage. You’re generally very introvert, but when you’re up on a stage… you feel like you could drink from the audience’s attention all over you. Yes… you enjoy that rush! And you could do anything to feel it again.

And, though you could never admit this clearly, showing up at some V’s party didn’t seem like a bad idea…

But first, you need to face an audition!

Chapter One  →