#posting this bc it’s genuinely so gorgeous
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stephen hillenburg’s “homage to phytoplankton,” 2012
published in spongebob comics #14
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rainbow moon :]
#my art#daycare attendant#moondrop#dca fandom#i just wanted to use this cool rainbow pen i made tbh#but then it started looking rlly good so i was like 'oh i could post this..'#moon's design is so pretty genuinely.... i wish they at least got to keep the glowing pants in game#bc like.. being able to see moon flying through the air in the nighttime mode.. with all the pretty lights + glowing star pants???#that would've been so pretty#i know it's supposed to be a horror game but the environmental art and design is fucking gorgeous in this game!!!!#sometimes when im playing the game i just gotta stop and look at everything... its nice#this isnt technically a game accurate dca but its my acc so i get to post whatever i want ok???#plus this is a doodle that i wasnt even planning on posting.... but anyway uhh more game accurate art coming soon 👍
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Pictures from the 2023 Brazil Post-Race that made me psychologically and physcially and emotionally unwell:
#of course there are more but ive either reblogged or posted most of them#im just....so unwell over everything today#and all of these are beautiful bcs of nando of course but at the same time many are just really genuinely great compositions#god im so glad the trophy is gold bcs the way sun reflects off it is crazy#HE DESERVES ALL THE GOLD!!!!!#and he looks so gorgeous in the sun#(theres smth vett//onso here to be said about the gold and sunshine HUH WHAT SHHHH SHHHHHHH)#the one where its glowing when hes holding it up in the air is sending me. its like smth from indiana jones or smth#if i wasnt dedicated to seb id probably make all my background on ever device from this#its funny tho bcs the majority of my backgrounds rn are from another brazil gp. interlagos is just the best i guess.#aaaaaaahhhh his podiums are always so good like i dont think anyone on this grid has the same energy as him#none of them ever seem as happy and energetic as he is :/ so when he does get on the podium i always intend to make the most out of it!!!!#kissing him squeezing him loving him#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#2023 brazilian gp
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thinking about that ocean vuong quote ‘Because that’s what mothers do. They wait. They stand still until their children belong to someone else’ and the rest of the paragraph is little dog telling his mother that he hates her and that she is a monster only to take it back when she isnt there anymore, that he didnt mean it. mothers, especially immigrant mothers, belong to their children first. they dedicate their whole lives to them, quashing their own potential and personhood at times to do so.
and i was just thinking about how the ending of everything everywhere all at once was the complete opposite of that. how at first when joy asks evelyn to let her go, she does what she wants - she lets her go. ‘because that’s what mothers do’ and it feels like she’s doing the right thing, by letting her daughter go to get rid of the pain that she’s feeling. but it is an passive act of love - one that immigrant mothers are too familiar with. to raise and love your children through sacrifice (so much sacrifice) while neglecting what they themselves want.
joy tells evelyn to let go, not because she actually wanted her to let go but because it was a challenge, almost a test, for her mother. like when little dog tells his mother that he hates her and that she is a monster, they both dont mean it. its a test. they want to see to what extent their mothers can love them. would you love me even if you thought i hated you? if i called you a monster? would you love me if i asked you to let me go? even if i told you that being with you hurts us both? and joy gets her answer. evelyn refuses to let her go because she loves her. without a doubt.
she holds onto joy and doesn’t let go. she tells her that she ‘will always always want to be here with’ her. even when there are other universes where she doesnt make all those sacrifices and is more successful - she chooses joy (metaphorically and literally). and its just. i keep thinking about that other tumblr post where they talk about how evelyn wanted to feel that she was worth loving and not letting go of with her dad. and she does that with joy!! she doesn’t let her go because she loves her. evelyn in the movie shatters the mother’s instinct of ‘standing still until their children belong to someone else’. she is no longer a bystander in her own daughter’s life but someone who actively chooses to be with her. love doesn’t just sit there, it is made!! and i just love it so much.
#eeaao#everything everywhere all at once#cin.txt#literally rewatched the scene of this post an i ended up sobbing even harder than when i watched it the first time#genuinely love this movie so much you dont understand#on earth we're briefly gorgeous#such a beautiful book btw#i feel like i need to read it again#even tho i just read it a few months ago LOL#edit: also just want to say that bc evelyn chooses to love joy. she exhibits her own agency in doing so.#when she does it she isnt just doing it bc shes her mother. shes doing it as a person who loves joy.
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#frank.txt#also shit is FUCKED rn . im so STRESSED#my landlord had a landlord moment so we're moving. also this place is getting unbearable#we live near freedom convoy folks and ive been called all sorts of slurs just trying to walk to 7/11 so . idk#maybe the next place will at least have homophobes that aren't as shouty and angry n shit bc GOD. GOD#that one guy that followed me halfway home just yelling slurs like yeah maybe moving out is a blessing in disguise#also this house haa no insulation which is awful in summer and winter#the next place we're going to is more expensive unfortunately but like. its insulated. doesnt have squirrels in the attic. or asbestos.#so uhm yayyy#its in a very secluded farmland area. tbh maybe thats what i need rn bc my physical and mental health arent super sturdy rn#physically feeling a bit bettr tho! just having bubble baths about it <3#i only post now on my priv twit @dykefiend rn#once things are settled ill go back to posting art .#bc i RLLY want to draw my own stuff soon i just gotta work on commissions wnd then start PACKING#genuinely almost cried last night thinking abt how i'll probably be able to see stars at night again#its the outskirts of the city in a rural area. super rundown broken down house but gorgeous yard. all u can hear is wind ans birds#no sirens or yelling or cars!
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sorry for being such a hater but fr would it fucking kill the hades devs to make their buff women ACTUALLY beefy. what are we doing to our beautiful queens 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i know i said this earlier but with every new gifset another part of me dies 💔#theres so much diversity in the male gods and then the women are either like. dainty waif or muscular but still skinny 💀#i cant do this anymore..... please........#if u know me u know my eternal beef with hades but listen i genuinely do rly love the artstyle and the gameplay had sooo much potential#like i was tentatively looking forward to hades 2 bc maybe theyd fix some of the problems i had w the first one....#but it looks like theyve made it worse. just SUCH a shame bc the art is so gorgeous why have they completely forsaken basic anatomy#sigh. hate feeling so alone in this too like i already know the games gonna blow up all over the dash with ppl thirsting when it comes out#im sure itll still look cool but i dont think i can take 5 million posts abt whoevers gonna be white twink of the day number 79263#may have to block the tag. saaad 😔#.diaries
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I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.
Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao
#text post#I would love to reblog their art and be supportive in that way at least but tbh#every time I accidentally reblog it I remember checking out their blog and seeing how they talked abt fans that like Izzy and the izcourse#and it's like oh no that's right you hate ppl like me and ur art might be gorg but maybe we just shouldn't interact#they do their thing and I'll be over here doing mine#what really needs to happen is I need to remember to check urls on fandom art to make sure it isn't any of the folks I had to block lmao#but sometimes I get excited bc the art is genuinely lovely and i do like it and think the person is v talented!#and then i forget to check and it's only after scrolling my dash that i see my reblog and the url and go 'oh. fuck. that's right. damnit.'#it's a weird feeling to be like yes I want this person to have fun and make gorgeous art but also it seems#they've made it p clear how they feel abt folks like me and so maybe they would prefer i just fuck off#which i tried to do by blocking!! and yet. here we are#i delete the reblogs whenever this happens so they don't have me in their notes but#i do hope they know their art is lovely and I appreciate their hard work even if we wouldn't otherwise get along with each other#idek why I'm blogging abt this I guess bc I feel like usually it's either or online? like u either hate each other or u don't#but I don't hate the folks who sent shit to me or the folks who condoned it i just wish i had found a way to get along with them instead#as useless a wish as that probably is#and i don't talk abt it a lot but it really bugs the fuck outta me sometimes that we can't just start over and try to interact generally#no messages no trying to be friends just reblog from them if u like and otherwise ignore each other#which has been a thing that's worked fairly okay in other fandoms tho things have happened in others to change how workable it was#but for some reason in this one i feel like im just always walking on eggshells to interact w/anyone bc it feels like everyone is waiting#for someone else to say something they vaguely disagree with and instead of just like. blocking and moving on w/the fandom experience#it turns into a massive mess that even if ur on the fringes of it all you still get pulled into or sent shit and just.#idk it doesn't matter bc ultimately none of this does but dang it the show has been special to me and hits all my special interests#and it's hard to let go and accept that there's no changing how things went and how they are and how this fandom experience for me is often#very fucking lonely even when i'm bursting at the seams to share and to hear from others what they think abt anything and everything w/it#no one is gonna read this tag essay lmao pls scroll on
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here’s the thing right. i obviously know kaeya has a mean/crueller streak and a lot of very sad/‘angsty’ story potential like that’s a very real part of his character that im actually interested in and think abt a Lot more then i let on and i hate to think that i am like. ‘woobifying’ him bc i mostly talk abt him in a very specific cutesy way but tbh if you check the actual fanfic and fanart content out there rn the Overwhelming majority of it is just so persistently grim n focused on tragedy n sadness n pain that i just feel like i Gotta talk abt the sweeter/softer/more introspective aspects of kaeya bc if not it’ll just get buried beneath all that misery 😭😭😭
#x#gi posting#this is so unfunny but this thought came abt bc i actually decided to read a fic the other day that i found#rosakaebedo fic btw. very fun#and i was just so pleasantly surprised w the way kaeya was written in it bc it was sooooo overly sugary sweet to him#not even that he was acting in any specific way but the perspective through which the reader was being made to look at kaeya was so#obviously sweet n gentle n loving it got to me so bad. like the narration would refer to him as being gorgeous or a darling friend or a kind#man n i had to content w the shock i was feeling that i don’t think i have Ever read a fic sooooo intent on presenting kaeya this way#and again not in a weird infantilising or ‘woobifying’ way at all but just. you know. him being a character w issues n flaws n all but#who other characters still obviously cherish n hold dear bc of the bonds he’s created with them in mond ….#AGH i think that’s kind of the crux right like soooo many ppl write abt kaeya n the narrative perspective always tends to be himself or#diluc. n that just lends itself so much to thinking abt the tragedy n misery n pain of their internal worlds#but i think outside perspectives from characters kaeya is genuine friends n family with. like rosaria albedo klee jean etc etc etc i think#they have the potential to be soooo much more precious in their view of him…. n i really like that :’-)#i wish more ppl did that :’-)
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idk, im Non-Black, but every anime/manga edit or fan-art or cosplay i see making a character Black (think Satoru Gojo, Trafalgar Water D Law, Yor Forger, Qifrey, Hinata Hyuga, and so many more but those are the first I can think of) just... beats their original design. to me, at least. everytime. im just like "goddamn, you made a fun character to watch even MORE fun to look at". Black anime content creators are just magic, it's exactly like they say, jfc, never stop. you're re-writing every palm-colored anime/manga character in my brain you touch until im so re-wired that when im making my own anime and manga fan-content, im like "im gonna explitly write descriptors clarifying/draw this character as dark-skinned". like Law is a dark-skinned man with vitiligo, idk what you want me to say, so many of them just feels BETTER this way, like looking more themselves. idk how to explain it as a Non-Black person. but every time a Black anime fan says "🎶They're gonna be Black today🎶", i feel like that grandma from Mulan going like "wHAT ABOUT FOREVER??". let them be Blasian, when applicable (bc some of these characters are Fantasy-Ethnicities and/or Non-Asian afterall). let them be dark-skinned, add texture to their hair, yeah??? their re-designs (every variation btw, bc sometimes diff creators have diff ideas, in case that wasnt obvious) just slap so much harder than the og. to me. anyway. idk
#out of complete transparency: i am a pale Indigenous American mix. still Non-Black tho. idk if my Non-Whiteness/-Asianess matters here#friendly reminder to not depict people with minstral lips or anything else within the textbook of Visual Racism tho#im still thinking of The One Edit of gojo on the phone with locks btw. its been a week since i last saw it#sometimes i look back through WHA's tags here for Black Qifrey manga coloring bc he just looks so GORGEOUS such good colors wtf#im hesitant about posting this bc it feels like a Looking For Ally Points performance but i just genuinely wanted to do a shout out#but like. a lot of these cosplays and edits and fan arts like... you cannot tell me they arent AMAZING re-designs. i want them all canonized
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Damiano via his Instagram feed; 10.05.23
#Loud Kids on Tour 2023: London#about: 08.05.23#posted: 10.05.23#the 02#this was my show. this was my show!!!#<- well he's talking about my show and this was taken in London so this counts lmao#anyway.#screaming CRYING THROWING UP rn.#he#h e.#pls#he is so gorgeous#like genuinely he is such a gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous man <3#the fact that he is smoking while wearing a jumper that says don't skoke is SUCH a Damiano thing to do skskskdkdkdkdkdkddkd#look at him in his model era lmao#the colour coordination is 👌👌👌👌#THE CAPTION HELP.#i LEGIT had no idea that they're now the only Italians to ever sell out the 02#that's just bc Italians do it better obvs#no but seriously I am so fucking proud of them?#they deserve this so so incredibly much <3#you can suck my ding dong sksksksksksksksksksksks help#dami PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭#i love him a lot#loml fr#damiano david#måneskin#instagram#im 💖💖💖💖#UK: London
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one thing ill never forgive tiktok for is the fucking fear it gave so many young ppl abt aging. like, wrinkles are not smth to be feared. sleeping on your side wont permanently destroy any semblance of beauty. i especially fucking DESPISE the way they dont like crows feet of laugh lines. you dont want physical evidence of your joy?? you dont want to look in the mirror and see every time youve giggled w your friends or smiled at a dog or laughed at a video?????? you dont want that?????????? what an upsetting way to live
#nyambles#tiktok#i wanna be covered in wrinkles and lines as i age#i want moles and freckles and stretch marks#i want you to be able to see my scars#and my dry fucking skin#that looks like a crocodile no matter how much lotion is put on it#i want to be walking proof that i lived my life bc thats beautiful!!!!#imperfection is so gorgeous#and i loathe seeing so many 'influencers' convince young ppl otherwise#i feel so lucky to have been raised with tumblr as my primary social media#the positivity posts here genuinely make me love myself#i grieve every day for the children raised on tiktok who think they have to look the same forever
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i love u southern drawls i love u southern twangs i love u hillbillies i love u country music i love u southern united states
#emyrs.txt#if u have a southern accent and are considering hiding it DON'T do it. that's the devil talking.#i've. been 2 the south before. & i wish i could go again bc it's genuinely so gorgeous there but i don't think. that's happening. ever again#KSJDFHSKJDFH#anyways. southern drawls and twangs and accents u r everything 2 me. top ten accents ever i want to say.#((also in my top 5 accents in english r. cockney. new jersey. chicano. & aave))#OH ALSO. the 'rez' accent.#special shout out 2 valley girl also. not in my top 5 but it has a special place in my heart.#also chicano aave and rez r fascinating 2 me bc they have so many unifying traits despite not having like. a geographical area.#sorry. this post got away from me. forgot for a second that this was about southern accents n instead went on a tirade about accents. LMFAO#<- just looked up the word tirade bc i felt like i was using it incorrectly. i was. i meant. rant. i don't wanna go back & retype that.#ALSO ALSO. there r 6 accents in my top 5 list. don't think about it too much. ok bye.
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gonna be an insane yearner in the tags i think
#d#all i rly wanna say is just like. fuck. men are so god damn gorgeous#like i'm sorry but they get to look like THAT and i'm 'yikes' for liking them...?#like i'm ngl i was watching smth earlier and just like#god everything i hated abt masculinity on myself is so appealing on others like#i hated facial hair but now i love guys with it#earlier i was kinda just thinking abt the like texture feel of it and i was just like going insane from anguish likeeee#and their voices... their hands... every little thing is just so perfect#like just. idk i'm lovestruck with them at the moment and i wanna touch them and i want them to touch me god damn it#<- feels like the riskiest thing i've ever said on here but like you know what. i'm right#i'm finally at that point in my transition where i feel comfortable enough with myself to let someone else know me in that way#and as such i am like rapidly remembering how lonely and touch starved i am and certain guys atm are just like. a safe haven atm#i guess like a reminder that men like them do exist. there Are still people this unimaginably beautiful out there#i genuinely have to just look away sometimes bc i'm just overwhelmed by them like. ugh#in short i am a mess what else is new#sorry for mask off yearning posting on main but idgaf anymore#i am going to bed now (5am) and i'm putting down my phone so i can't be embarrassed abt this post until i get up later 🫡#maybe if i try hard enough i can force a simulacrum of intimacy into my dreams. as a substitute for the real thing#(it probably won't work but i gotta try y'know)
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my matthaobin they r debuting in a week thts so crazy....
#my guys i am so excited....#the pic of hao they posted today is SO gorgeous our centre hes so....#i rlly rlly hope this song blows up like fr. like not a song ppl hype bc its them a Genuine Banger u kno#i have hope energetic and flash r both SO good lets go miss in bloom!!!!!#im so excited im so so so giddy and hyped every time i think abt it like theyre debuting!!!!!!!!!!!#iri.txt
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i'm going crazyy i'm so madly in love with this song THIS FUCKING MUSIC VIDEOEOOPP AGGHHH i enedd tooo i need to. ramble in tags.
#shut up henry#onlyoneof underground idol series. my one true love. have i posted about it before i love it so muchhhhhhh they're so good.#everyone go watch onlyoneofs underground idol mvs rnn :-) there's only six of them and they're all so good i prommy......#godddddddd. kb/yoojungs were my favs at first (like 50% bc yoojung is just so gorgeous in them. and he's my bias.)#but. rie and junjis r growing on me..........#<- if this trend continues then next week i'll obsess over mill and nines LOL. and then after that the cycle will restart again.#god. i just. love how genuinely they approach telling queer stories. like. making their mvs feature queer romances and just.#giving them the same care and detail as any other story would get. it's so wonderful to see i'm going to CRYYY they're so :-((( <3333#onlyoneof my favs ....<333#idk. there's arguments that could be made that it's queerbaity but like. imo.#you can tell that there is so much genuine thought and care put into it and that they genuinely love doing it#and that they genuinely love telling these stories. whether they themselves r queer or not idgaf because they're clearly having fun w it#and they do it so well like. does it matter. really.#ANND THEIR CONMNEBACK IS SOON ALSO I FORGOTTTT. im so exciteddddd fuck yessssssss. gkcukv eyssss.#Goodnight everyone. ooo loveposting complete it is BEDTIME !!!!!!!#Youtube
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whenever ppl ask me what my type is (or even like. what celebrities I find attractive) I have a rly hard time pinning it down for them bc things like familiarity actually factor in a LOT for me so I don't tend to immediately recognise whether someone I've never seen before irl is hot or not. actually if we wanna get properly into it the reality of how attraction works for me is that I fall in world-rearrangingly devastating love with someone and my "type" then redefines itself accordingly as a category of ppl who remind me of them in specific subtle/less-than-subtle ways and the imprint of that sticks with me forever so whenever I find someone instinctively beautiful I'm always just seeing the ghost of past loves in their face or the way they hold themselves. but I can't explain that to ppl bc I feel like it comes across weird and a little creepy so I just laugh and tell them "well its arbitrary, I'm just attracted to ppl on an individual basis! um and also ayo edebiri is sooo gorgeous" which is true
#I mean it makes total sense bc there are some ppl who mean so much to u that just seeing them triggers ur oxytocin like crazy#so of course being reminded of them when looking at a stranger is going to manifest as attraction#most of my friends are genuinely jaw droppingly gorgeous to me bc i have such strong affection for them how can i not find that there!!#there are definitely some celebrities I consider pretty/handsome. but as an aesthetic quality not from a place of attraction#its like looking at a nice wallpaper pattern or smth#idk. having a definitive answer for what i find attractive doesnt especially matter to me bc its such a fluid thing#in the same way that having a distinct sexuality/gender identity doesnt matter to me either. i dont really like boxing myself in w labels#I mean I like using words like dyke and butch as a shorthand bc they point in the right kind of direction. but theyre not exclusive to me#I feel like this world constantly tries to interrogate and label things in a way thats pretty unnecessary tbh#like I get that having categories is important to some people. but not everyone yknow. its interesting to think abt tho#language will never be succint and perfect enough to define an entire human by its own nature!! all communication is a proxy measure#anyway im extremely tired. yes this is somewhat related to prev tamino post btw bc I was thinking abt how he looks like someone else#peace and goodnight on planet earth#.diaries
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