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rustboxstarr · 10 months

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🎻You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me🎻

Pairings: Eddie Munson x UndiagnosedAutistic!PlusSize!ViolinPlayer!Orchestra!Harrington!Reader (Goddamn thats a lot)

Plot: When Dustins 15th birthday comes up Eddie is set out on a mission to get Steve to help. Unbeknownst to Eddie, Steve has a younger sister, a very strange, very mean sister. Theres something about her, he needs to understand how she became to be so different from her brother, so hes set out on his next mission to get the answers to his questions.

Summary: Eddie seeks out Steve and is introduced only briefly to you.

Chapter warnings: Practically absent father, slightly abusive mother, unfair treatment between Steve and Reader, Steves kinda mean, swearing, use of Y/N. Read series masterlist for storys warnings, tropes and Reader description, dw they're not major just a few)

Wordcount: 3.7k

A/N: This is the first chapter for You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me, thank you to everybody who voted for a series! This first chapter is short but they'll be longer in the future :)

Love yas!

Check out my other works! Series Masterlist

Next chapter

Dirty white Rebocks pattered against the gravel as Eddie hopped out of his van and made his way across the fading white lines littering the parking lot outside of Family Video. Looking around at the surrounding businesses littering the industrial area on the outskirts of town. All built with weakening concrete, mustard yellow and cream whites turning darker and blacker with age, just as the video store was. Hints of pink and purple painted the horizon as the sun and heat were starting to ease up from summer 1985 now that September was approaching.

He was thankful for it as he started wearing his jeans again, leaving his worn down cargo shorts to gather dust under his bed till he had to dig them out again next summer. He had never been a fan of those cargos, but he had trouble finding any other article of clothing that could strife away the scalding temperatures, so he had been stuck constantly pulling at the hem by the waist, forcing them to stop sagging from under his belt, he felt ridiculous walking around in the, hanging off him as if he’d dressed himself in a trash bag, but now he was back in his comfortable skin wearing properly fitted jeans.

He was on a mission after he’d been told by Mike that this was where the infamous King Steve worked and was given precise instructions on how to approach the subject, instructions which went in one ear and out the other as Eddie fought with the gamestick playing Pacman at the arcade only one day prior.

A greening gold bell rang above his head as he opened the glass door and stepped foot in the building lined with dark brown wooden shelves sporting various movies from a stingy amount of genres, the shelves depicting a confusing maze within the wallpapered walls. Whoever was in charge of planning how to best utilize the space, clearly had no idea what they were doing.

He shimied around shelves placed too close together and far too close to comfortably open the door, navigating to a counter placed in the middle of the room as You don't have to stay forever, I will understand was heard through the tinny speakers, Elvis Presley's You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me occupied as the only sound in the room. The desk connected to the back wall where a relatively large box television hung silently playing Police Academy 2: Their first assignment. Eddie recognised the faded people moving about the screen but barely remembered the film, he knew he had seen it and from what he could remember he concluded that he was probably laughing his ass off with Gareth, completely out of it as they passed joints back and forth for hours on end.

Having Gareth over so often for weekly sessions was probably the biggest reason as to why his room smelled like skunk whenever someone entered it, smoke attaching to the fibers of his curtains, bed sheets, and clothing all dumped out onto the floor. Had they been at Gareth's house more often he might not get in trouble with his teachers quite as much as he did, being sent to the principal's office to be scolded and threatened with police by a strong whiff of weed lingering on every clothing item he had in his possession.

The store wasn't exactly busy but stray patrons roamed the isles, selecting movies to gawk at for their perfect little family movie nights or possibly to numb the pain of living in the sleepy town of Hawkins on a friday night, that's what Eddie would do anyway.

He’d never been close enough to see Steve Harrington in proper, only ever seen him roaming the halls when he attended highschool or picking up Dustin from hellfire but it was undoubtedly him as he laid eyes on a lemon yellow polo shirt fitting tightly over a muscular figure slouched at the counter flipping through some comic with his head resting flat on his palm, even more so certainly judging by the golden brown hair flopping over his eyes, the same hair he overheard girls fawn over as he walked past. Gag.

Even though he had never even attempted to get to know Steve he still felt a distaste for the man, writing him off the instant he noticed him. Popular, jock, boring, basic and probably a complete asshole just like the rest of the school. He did sometimes find himself wondering how on earth he had managed to befriend Robin Buckley of all people, a grade below him and on the complete opposite side of the social spectrum. He himself knew Robin in passing and from what he had gathered she was far from the type to associate herself with the populars. That was a mystery no one could figure out.

“Steeeeve” he said in mock excitement throwing his arms out as if he was meeting up with an old friend he hadn't seen for a while. Steve looked up, confusement painting his face as he locked eyes on the metalhead before him. Long brown wavy hair cut into a shag, ripped jeans, ratty band tee with a fading print of a metallica album, softening leather jacket and silver chains and jewelry adorning his body. They were polar opposites. “Do I know you?” he asked unamused. “Funny” Eddie sneered as he sauntered over, placing his hands on the linoleum surface.

Eddie may not be popular but he would like to think he made himself well known as a town pariah, devils worship, selling drugs, petty criminal, trailer trash and all that.

“What do you want?” Steve closed his comic which Eddie noticed being Albedo Anthropomorphics issue number 7 as Steve straightened up on the stool, squaring his shoulders to give Eddie his undivided attention. “You're Dustin's babysitter right?” He was intentionally getting on Harrington's nerves, because it didn't matter how annoying he was, he knew Steve would help, despite Mike and Lucas’s warnings. A fact that that was proven as he remembered Dustin ranting about the exact same comic Steve was reading.

Unamusement turned to disgust as he glared at Eddie.

“NoO, I am not” he corrected, the second vowel raising in pitch as if correcting a child who he was very impatient with. “Yes you are” Eddie grinned, “Anyway, I need your help” he smirked, slanting his body to the left and cocking out his hip as his firm hand on the counter supported him “And why exactly would I help you?” boredom laced Steve's words as he narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

“Aren't you supposed to be in customer service?” he gestured towards the fact that Steve was sitting at the checkout counter in a literal store “Show me that customer service smile” his grin widened but in response all he got was a deep scowl. “Anyway” he straightened his back to watch Steve intently “It's Dustin's birthday next friday, he is under the impression that his lovely sweet mother is taking him out to dinner, but in reality he’ll be getting a surprise party” Steve couldn't help but let his scowl ease slightly “-and that's where you come in” Eddie continued as he pointed towards the video store clerk. “-we need some help planning.”

After some convincing and some very weak pleading from Eddie, Steve gave in although making it very clear the only reason he would endure Eddie's presence was because of Dustin and Dustin alone. His shift ended at 5 pm sharp and informed Eddie he could come by at 5:30 to plan. “But you're not staying past 6:30, I don't want you in my house” he had crossed his arms, eyes staring at Eddie as he scoffed “Relax, I wouldn't want to be surrounded by your mothers ghastly interior for more than an hour at a time anyway.”

And that was where they were now, sat in Steve's kitchen, bickering about the theme of the party as they faced each other at the round table. As expected Eddie had made faint remarks about the previously mentioned interior when he entered the Harrington home, much to Steve's dismay. As Steve began going on a rant about how Eddie was in under no circumstances allowed to bring alcohol Eddie glanced out the window in boredom. But the only thing to entertain him was a round figure walking lazily down the sidewalk, back straight and arms swaying, head held high and confident, so he found his eyes drifting back in to the kitchen and was brought back to the argument at hand. “You think I'm that irresponsible that I would bring Alcohol to a birthday party for a 15 year old?”

“Well..”

“Oh shut up” Eddie's upper lip curled in displeasure at the accusation.

Steve seemed unbothered when the door clicked and swung on its hinges in the next room over, and continued with his assignment on planning. Taking it upon himself to start writing a shopping list, not yet sure if he trusted Eddie with the responsibility of following through with getting all the things they needed or if he should take care of it himself.

That same round figure showed up in the open doorway drawing both of the men's attention. Eddie barely got a chance to look at her, only registering her face as she leaned halfway over the threshold with a simple “Yo”. Her face looked slightly annoyed he registered, cupid's bow pulled up almost as if in disgust while a slight furrow showed between her brows. “Hey” Steve returned before she turned promptly and made her way down the hall, he heard as footsteps led her up the stairs and out of earshot.

“Whoa trouble with the missus?” Eddie chuckled, leaning back in the fancy intricate wooden chair that matched the rest. “What? That's my sister” Steve frowned, a frown similar to yours but more deep set. “Really? You look nothing alike” he marveled, within the few seconds he laid eyes on you he could only distinguish the fact that your hair was a shade darker, and that your body was very clearly the opposite of Steves. His lean form and sleek muscles were obviously something that he had not inherited or something that ran in the family. “All siblings don't look alike you know” Steve breathed as he sat back in his chair, one leg crossing over the other to rest his ankle on his thigh.

“Why does she look like that then?” it wasn't a comment on your body but on your expression as you appeared by the open frame, Steve had already anticipated the question, he knew it was coming the second you stepped through the door. “I dunno, she has like a permanent frown, shes fuckin’ unapproachable, hence why she has no friends” Eddie looked surprised as Steve rolled his eyes “Well in school anyway, even if she was approachable shes too i hate everyone to even make an effort” he made bunny eared quotation marks in the air as he described your personality. “Wow, didn't know easy breezy perfect King Stevie ‘The Hair’ Harrington had a sibling so different from him, or well one at all actually” he felt a surge of annoyance at Eddie's words. “She your older sister then?” Steve only rolled his eyes again, you were clearly invisible to everyone around you .“She's a senior at your high school, shouldn't you know everyone by now? Seeing as it's your second year as one?” he felt slightly proud at his jab at the man across from him who'd been getting on his nerves all afternoon. “She is?” Eddie ignored the latter.

“Told you, she's unapproachable, sticks to herself” that was true but he couldn't help feeling slightly sad for you, even if you were in his parallel class he would have hoped at least someone would know who you were, you weren't all that different from Eddie, both weird. “She used to be in band, with Robin” he squinted his eyes slightly to gather information on whether or not Eddie knew who Robin was, he continued when he got a single nod of confirmation “But now she's in some orchestra in New Castle, so she doesn’t like stick around after school” he explained, giving Eddie another reason as to why he had never heard of you. “Her? In orchestra?” from the brief look he had gotten of you, you did not look like some nit picky orchestra person. “Yeah she plays the cello” “The cello?” Eddie asked, utterly baffled. “Yeah the-” he held his hands up by his neck, pulling an invisible bow back and forth “That's a violin man”

“Yeah whatever”

The conversation surrounding Steve Harrington's sister and how you were so unlike your brother died there and the topic of Dustin's party was brought up again, to the slight disappointment of Eddie.

–

“Mm?” was your answer to the knock at your bedroom door, allowing Steve to open it and peep inside, finding you propped up against your headboard, a paperback copy of In Cold Blood by Truman Capote in your hands. “I’m having some people over” he jumped straight to the point, hand resting limply on the doorknob while the other found its place on his hip “For that party planning thing I was telling you about so please don't like, play your weird loser music or that stupid viola.”

“First of all” you sat up to glare at Steve “Elvis Presley is not weird loser music, second it's a violin you dick” you scowled, the frown which Steve said you wore constantly, tightened. “Yeah yeah, just shut up for the evening ok?”

“I was done with practicing but just because of that, I think I might continue” an ill intentioned smirk formed on your lips.

“You are so fucking annoying” he breathed.

“Tell me something I don't know” you rolled your eyes, lying down and turning away from him. Even though you utterly sucked he still had to inform you “We're eating alone tonight by the way, Mom's at the country club playing golf and Dad's staying late at work”

“Great” you answered sarcastically before Steve shut the door.

You weren't necessarily complaining, it was a regular occurrence that Charles Harrington stayed late to handle the law firm and you would rather Sharon Harrington was far out of sight when he was. Bad blood simmered between you and your mother, her constant criticism for your behavior, style and eating habits were not something you particularly looked forward to when you came home especially in comparison to Steve who had always been mommy's perfect little boy.

–

Eddie, Mike, Lucas, Will and Steve sat strewn across arm chairs and couches in the off white pristine living room of the Harrington residence. They had only just sat down, notebook on the ready for budget planning and fresh coca colas from the fridge in their hands when the undeniable sound of a bow slowly brushing over hard metal strings was heard throughout the house.

The second you heard Steve welcome them in on the Sunday afternoon you got up and kept your promise to continue practicing on your instrument. Steve audibly groaned below you, its volume traveling up the stairs and through your open door only egging you on further as you began playing Symphony n.5 by Beethoven moving your bow up and down the strings.

Sure Steve had taken on his brotherly duty to play nice and explain the situation for tonight, not that it was any different from any other night, and he was on occasions friendly with you, but that didn't change the fact that he was a fucking ass to you. During your 18 years on this earth Steve had bullied you, pestered you and made your life almost as miserable as your mother did, she claimed it was Steve's way of showing love but you didn't accept that fact as true. You may have, however, if you actually knew what Steve did for you, multiple times he had gotten into fights with classmates to defend your honor, both in his childhood years up until the end of high school, only easing up when he was no longer in contact or around to hear the crude remarks about you. But, you didn't know, so you had no issue with creating a slight hell for him as he did for you.

With each 8 beats the chord changed and you only increased in strength. “Is that Y/N?” Mike asked as he listened in on you upstairs “You knew he had a sister??” Eddie piped up, turning towards him “You have a sister?” Lucas was shocked “Of course I know he has a sister, doesn't everyone?”

“No!”

The vigorous strumming and skillful fingerwork slowed to slower notes, slowly building as Steve started to get annoyed, rising from his comfortable seat in the armchair and preparing for battle. “She's gotten really good since I last heard her, damn” Mike awed as Steve brushed past him and out into the hallway, following the sound of shorter notes echoing throughout the house. You were clearly interrupting but Eddie couldn't help but feel amazed at the sounds, so different from the instruments he usually heard in his music or the music he listened to, a whole different genre but from what he gathered you were very good with the violin. He listened in a daze, as if your bow and strings cast him under an enchantment as Steve stormed down the hall and made a loud show of him coming up the stairs, giving you one last chance to back down. You did not.

Eddie was torn from his enchantment as the music suddenly came to an abrupt hall.

“Give that back you fucking asshole! That's a ten thousand dollar instrument!”

He had ripped the fragile maple wood from your hands in anger.

“I told you not to play it while I had people over!”

“And I told you I dont give a shit!”

The shouting match had begun.

“Of course you don't! Because all you care about is this stupid fucking thing!”

“Because it's my life! That thing is my whole life! That is my ticket to a degree! Don’t go giving me shit because you’re too fucking stupid to even get in to community college!” you screamed but within an instant your voice softened to an insulting hiss upstairs “You couldn't even pass the PSAT’s at a respectable grade.”

“I would take having a life over whatever your sad excuse for one is anyday! Locked up in your room every waking hour studying, oh unless you're in school where you don't even have the human decency to talk to people or be in any way polite” Steve was no longer shouting but spewing words with pure venom.

“Because they’re all fucking pieces of shit! Who don’t give a flying fuck about anything other than mindless sex, popularity and LYING to themselves that this fucking Hawkins Indiana is the place to be!” he heard you scoff before an exasperated shout “LIKE YOU!”

“And if you're not at school you’re at fucking orchestra practicing for shows-” his voice became firm and short of a temperfull whisper as he interrupted your speech “-who no one ever comes to”. It seemed a shame, your playing had been amazing, from the short snippet he heard you had some intense skills, it must be wasted to play for only a few people.

Eddie couldn't have known that Steve had the urge to throw your precious violin that disturbed his peace every day of the week in to the wall, maybe even thrust it onto the ground and smash it to tiny pieces under his sock clad foot, but a part of him in the back of his mind knew that would both leave you heartbroken and that he would never come back from doing such a cruel thing to you, so instead he tossed the violin onto the soft plush of your bed before storming out with a “Fucking bitch” muttered under his breath and slamming the door behind him. Eddie heard you shout a “Sanctimonious piece of shit!” back at him and then footsteps down the stairs.

The group scattered around the livingroom sat awkwardly as Steve emerged from the hall and back to them, they didn't know what to do or say and it was clear on their faces. Steve breathed a heavy breath before apologizing “Sorry about her and that you had to hear that” Eddie raised his brows at him as if to say Are you kidding me? Steve saw it and was quick to announce “Trust me, we’re fine, we fight all the time”

Even though you were upset you would not back down, you were quick to retrieve your violin and find its place resting atop your shoulder and under your chin.

“She's gonna start playing again any second, she's fine” Steve sank back down into plush leather just as the music started up again. He gestured his hand up at the ceiling to prove his point.

Eddie was experiencing a mixture of feelings, all reeling around his head as you began playing again, a new found interest for the classical genre, sadness for you who had to go through that, anger at Steve for saying such hurtful things but also surprise at how even though you had been insulted so harshly which would have left the girls he knew, granted only a few, crying, you continued playing, as if it didn't bother you.

And it barely did bother you, Steve was right, you did fight all the time, and through years of bullying from classmates and close family you had become tough, strong, learnt to deal with feelings, push them as far down as your mind would allow you and move on. It was even the moments after the horrible fights that you had learnt to cherish, just as you did when everyone had left for the evening. Steve didn't verbally apologize but you knew he was sorry, and he showed it by becoming your friend again and ordering pizza for dinner, paying with it from his hard earned money (your parents didn't give him allowance since he got a job) and sat with you, watching soap operas on the couch.

It was a destructive and toxic relationship, being bullied and only fighting back when no parents were around to hear it and then instantly becoming friends, but it was your destructive and toxic relationship.

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sixminutestoriesblog · 2 months

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ides of march

well, its tumblr's favorite holiday and who can blame us? The assassination of Julius Caesar is probably one of the only group projects that ever went down the way it was supposed to with, well, not complete group participation (there were said to be upward of 60 people involved but only 23 stab wounds - obviously someone was not carrying their weight) but at least a good effort was made at it. But lets take a moment, between our jokes about salad and Animal Crossing butterfly nets to look at what else has happened in history on the Ides of March. For instance, did you know, on March 15th:

1493 - Columbus returned to Spain after 'discovering' the new world.

1580 - Phillip II of Spain put a bounty on the head of Prince William I of Orange for 25,000 gold coins for leading the Dutch revolt against the Spanish Hamburgs

1744 - King Louis XV of France declares war on Britain

1767 - Andrew Jackson, who would go on to be the seventh president of the US, was born.

1820 - Maine became the 23rd state in the US

1864 - the Red River Campaign, called 'One damn blunder from beginning to end' started for the Union Forces in the American Civil War

1889 - a typhoon in Apia Harbor, Samoa sinks 6 US and German warships, killing 200

1917 - Czar Nicholas II abdicated the Russian throne, bringing an end to the Romanov dynasty

1955 - the first self-guided missile is introduced by the US Air Force

1965 - TGI Friday's opens its first restaurant in New York City

1991 - in LA, four police officers are brought up on charges for the beating of Rodney King

2018 - Toys R Us announces it will be closing all its stores

2019 - a terrorist attacks two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand, killing 51, and wounding 50 others

Oof! Pretty bleak, isn't it? It would almost make you think that the day is just bad luck, start to finish and its probably just as well, we're all focusing on assassination instead of other horrors. But wait - its not all bad news! The Ides of March has some tricks up its sleeve yet (joke intended). I'd be telling you only half the story if I didn't add:

1854 - Emil von Behring is born and will eventually become the first to receive the Nobel Prize in medicine for his discovery of a diphtheria antitoxin, being called 'the children's savoir' for the lives it saves

1867 - Michigan is the first state to use property tax to support a university

1868 - the Cincinnati Red Stockings have ten salaried players, making them the first professional baseball team in the US

1887 - Michigan has the first salaried fish and game warden

1892 - the first automatic ballot voting machine is unveiled in New York City

1907 - Finland gives women the right to vote, becoming the first to do so in Europe

1933 - Ruth Bader Ginsberg is born and will go on to become a US Supreme Court justice

1934 - the 5$ a day wage was introduced by Henry Ford, forcing other companies to raise their wages as well or lose their workers

1937 - the first state sponsored contraceptive clinic in the US opens in Raleigh, North Carolina

1946 - the British Prime minister recognizes India's independence

1947 - the US Navy has its first black commissioned officer, John Lee

1949 - clothes rationing ends in Britain, four years after the end of WWII

1960 - ten nations meet in Geneva for disarmament talks

1968 - the Dioceses of Rome says it will not ban 'rock and roll' from being played during mass but that it deplores the practice - also in 1968, LIFE magazine titles Jimi Hendrix 'the most spectacular guitarist in the world'

1971 - ARPANET, the precursor of the modern day internet, sees its first forum

1984 - Tanzanian adopts a constitution

1985 - symbolics.com, the first internet domain name, is registered

The Ides of March turns out to just be a day, like any other day in history.

Unless you're us. In which case -

#ides of march #happy ides of march #julius caesar #today in history #please take some of my 'bad' dates as tongue in cheek #we love you maine #and a few of my dates fit both the good and bad side of the things so I just went with whichever I was on at the time #feel free to wiggle them around to a more appropriate column

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wordsinhaled · 1 year

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Waiting Room — Hob Gadling's mixtape, 1980-89

Notes: This is the mix Hob Gadling made himself, 1980-1989, while waiting for his expected meeting with his Stranger, and in its aftermath. Anticipation and longing leading up to that day in June '89 (near the end of Side A), and then a return to songs from the beginning of the decade. A mix for knowing looks from the bartender, cigarettes ground out into the pavement, loneliness kept at bay by synth pop and long nighttime drives with the top down. I recommend listening in order, at least the first time!

SIDE A

Spandau Ballet - To Cut a Long Story Short (1980) A Flock of Seagulls - Wishing (If I Had a Photograph of You) (1982) The Human League - Mirror Man (1982) The Replacements - I Will Dare (1984) Whitesnake - Is This Love (1987) Information Society - What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy) (1988) Fugazi - Waiting Room (1988) ABC - The Look of Love, Pt. 1 (1982) Tears for Fears - Pale Shelter (1983) Bananarama - Cruel Summer (1983)

SIDE B

The Police - King of Pain (1984) The Psychedelic Furs - Heaven (1984) Ultravox - Dancing With Tears In My Eyes (1984) Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me - 12" Version (1985) Hüsker Dü - Don't Want to Know If You Are Lonely (1986) Johnny Hates Jazz - Shattered Dreams - 12" Extended Mix (1987) The Church - Under the Milky Way (1988) Everything But The Girl - I Don't Want to Talk About It (1988) Tears For Fears - Always In The Past (1989)

#the sandman #hob gadling #dreamling

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kwebtv · 2 months

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Charles Richard Dierkop (September 11, 1936 – February 25, 2024) Film and television character actor. He is most recognized for his supporting roles in the films Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) and The Sting (1973) and the television series Police Woman (1974-1978).

His televison credits include The Naked City (1960–1962), Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (1965), Lost in Space (1965), The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1966), Gunsmoke (1966), The Andy Griffith Show (1966), Star Trek (1967, episode: Wolf in the Fold), Batman (1968), Adam-12 (1968), Lancer (1968–1970), Bonanza (1969–1972), The High Chaparral (1970), Land of the Giants (1970), Bearcats! (1971, in episode 9, "Bitter Flats"), Love, American Style (1971), Mission: Impossible (1972), Alias Smith and Jones (1971–1973), Kung Fu (1973), Mannix (1969–1973), Gunsmoke (1966–1973), Kojak (1974), Police Story (1973–1974), Cannon (1971–1974), Vega$ (1978), The Deerslayer (1978, TV Movie), CHiPs (1980), Fantasy Island (1980–1982), Matt Houston (1983–1984), The Fall Guy (1983–1985), Simon & Simon (1986–1988) and MacGyver (1991). (Wikipedia)

IMDb Listing

#Charles Dierkop #TV #Obit #Obituary #O2024 #Police Woman

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nine-frames · 1 year

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警察故事 (Police Story), 1985.

Dir. Jackie Chan & Chi-Hwa Chen | Writ. Jackie Chan & Edward Tang | DOP Cheung Yiu Cho

#police story #jackie chan #警察故事 #10 frames #hong kong cinema #action comedy #1980s #maggie cheung #brigitte lin

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crumb · 20 days

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the NO-SKIP albums: a tag game 🎶💖

rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums.

🔎 bonus & optional (but imo, v fun) rules: 1) add a track rec for us to listen to! AND 2) share ur favorite line(s) from that track! 👀

This was so hard!! There are so so so many albums not included but I think 15 albums is enough to where I look crazy but not tooooo crazy (doubtful) and I wanted to make it somewhat varied genre-wise. A lot of these artists have like multiple no-skip albums as well so picking between them was extra difficult—on some I went with the underrated favourite of mine to mix it up. I don't know! It's kinda all over the place. Thank you so much to @ventiswampwater, @visceravalentines, @avrilsboy, & @actualfucking for tagging me!!! 🥹 I think there were a few others who tagged me but then removed my tag, probably because they saw I was tagged by others lol, so thank you to those ppl too!!<333

Tagging: @xoxo-gossipghoul (& anyone else! I think most people have done this at this point? But if you’re reading this and haven’t been tagged yet then this is me tagging you!!! lol) Album List & Track Rec:

🏴 Damaged — Black Flag (1981)

track rec: Police Story

↳ This fucking city / Is run by pigs / They take the rights away / From all the kids

🪑 Songs from The Big Chair — Tears for Fears (1985)

track rec: Mothers Talk

↳ It's not that you're not good enough / It's just that we can make you better / Given that you pay the price / We can keep you young and tender / Following the footsteps of a funeral pyre / You were paid not to listen now your house is on fire

💀 Collection I & II — Misfits (1986/1995)

track rec: Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?

↳ Rip the veins from human necks until they're wet with life / Razor-blades love teenage flesh, an epidermoty / I'll bring back a souvenir, for it's my mommy's dream

🍊 No Doubt — No Doubt (1992)

track rec: Trapped in a Box

↳ Ah trapped in a box my life becomes void / And all of the thought for myself's now destroyed / Controlling my mind, what to eat, what to buy / Subliminal rules: how to live, how to die / Trapped in a box

🌙 Dreaming of You — Selena (1995)

track rec: God’s Child (Baila Conmigo) (Ft. David Byrne)

↳ God makes us dream / But won't set us free / Hey, hey, hey, hey / God calls us dance to songs we can't hear / Hey, hey, hey, hey

🌊 Tidal — Fiona Apple (1996)

track rec: Sullen Girl

↳ And there's too much going on / But it's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion / Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

🦷 The Distillers — The Distillers (2000)

track rec: Red Carpet & Rebellion

↳ The palace dialed in the streets were burning / The red horizon came crashing through the morning / There was no contentment, only bloodshed / Red blood and social discontent / Bruised by puritan, oh, puritan exempt / It's like a peasant uprising

🦋 Greatest Hits — Mariah Carey (2001)

track rec: When You Believe (Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston)

↳ They don't always happen when you ask / And it's easy to give in to your fears / But when you're blinded by your pain / Can't see your way clear through the rain / A small but still, resilient voice / Says hope is very near

😈 Antics — Interpol (2004)

track rec: Not Even Jail

↳ I pretend like no one else to try control myself / I'm subtle like a lion's cage / Such a cautious display / Remember take hold of your time here / Give some meanings to the means / To your end / Not even jail

🌆 The City Sleeps in Flames — Scary Kids Scaring Kids (2005)

track rec: The World as We Know It

↳ A virus known as rage / Is brutal in destroying / And spreading all over the place / Bleeding culture / The dying nation / When the money controls the tide / We won't get another chance this time / We won't get a second chance this time

🎺 Back to Black — Amy Winehouse (2006)

track rec: Some Unholy War

↳ If my man was fightin' some unholy war / I would be behind him / Straight shook up beside him with strength / He didn't know, it's you I'm fightin' for / He can't lose with me in tow (With me in tow) / I refuse to let him go (To let him go) / At his side and drunk on pride / We wait for the blow

🎸 Favourite Worst Nightmare — Arctic Monkeys (2007)

track rec: Teddy Picker

↳ And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder / Don't be surprised when you get bent over / They told you, but you were gaggin' for it

3️⃣ Three Vol. 1 — Joel Plaskett (2009)

track rec: Gone, Gone, Gone

↳ In the middle of a lonely night / Got caught in the hallway light / For a minute you were gettin' close / I suspect I've seen a ghost / In the middle of a highway dream / You got caught in the headlight beam / Down the road with your tired eyes / Good old boys with your old goodbyes

🫙 Ignore the Ignorant — The Cribs (2009)

track rec: Emasculate Me

↳ Spent all this time chasing happy / But happy is boring to me / So put walls around our misery / And gently emasculate me

🧱 Brutalism — IDLES (2018)

track rec: Exeter

↳ It seems like no-one cares / I think I'll take the stairs / 'Cause nothing ever / He punched himself in the face / To prove he wasn't gay / 'Cause nothing ever happens

#these album choices make me look gay angry and sad #which is accurate #tag game #tagging game

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pluckyredhead · 7 months

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I saw that you have read most of the flash comics and ive been dying to understand what is going on in flash fam because im so confused

I have! I'm not sure what you're asking about, though - are you confused by what's happening in the comics right now, or just generally who is who in the Flash Family?

If it's the latter, here is a very, very bare bones overview, in chronological-ish order:

Jay Garrick: The first Flash, debuted in 1940. He got super speed from accidentally inhaling hard water vapor. He is a member of the Justice Society of America and has been married to his wife Joan for many decades.

Barry Allen: The second Flash, debuted in 1956. A police scientist who got super speed from being doused with chemicals that had been struck by lightning. He eventually married his girlfriend Iris West and briefly moved to the 30th century with her before dying in 1985's Crisis on Infinite Earths. He came back to life in 2008.

Wally West: The first Kid Flash, debuted in 1959. He became the third (best) Flash after Barry died. He and his wife Linda have twins, Iris (Irey) and Jai, who also have superpowers, and they just had a new baby, Wade. He was sort of erased by the New 52 reboot in 2011 (more on that later) and brought back into continuity by the Rebirth soft reboot in 2016.

Bart Allen: MY LOVE. Debuted in 1994. Barry's grandson who was born in the 30th century and came back to the 20th century to become first Impulse, then Kid Flash, then the Flash when he was briefly aged up. He died, came back as a teenage Kid Flash, was totally rebooted by the New 52 (ignore this), and is now back to his original Impulse self these days. Has an evil clone named Thaddeus Thawne, Inertia.

Max Mercury: A very obscure 1940s character. He is the oldest of the speedsters, having been born in the early 1800s, but the Speed Force jumps him forward in time every so often which is why he looks like he's 65 and not 200. When Bart came back to the 20th century, Max became his guardian, and they have a very close father-son relationship.

Johnny Quick: Another 1940s speedster, less well-known than Jay but less obscure than Max. He used a mathematical formula to access his super speed. He married (and divorced) fellow superhero Liberty Belle and had a daughter, Jesse, before dying in the 90s.

Jesse Quick: Johnny's daughter. She has both her parents' powers and is married to Rick Tyler, the second Hourman.

Wallace West: So when the New 52 launched, there was no Wally West, which fans were very mad about because he's a popular character. Eventually DC reintroduced him, but instead of a white guy in his early 20s, he was a Black 12-year-old. Who they decided to portray as a juvenile delinquent for some baffling reason. So racists weren't happy that Wally was Black now, fans who wanted diversity in comics weren't happy that being Black apparently made Wally a criminal, and no one was happy that he was only 12 and thus couldn't be friends with Dick and Roy (who were in their 20s), married to his wife, etc. With Rebirth in 2016, DC decided to fix this by reintroducing the older, white Wally and establishing that the younger, Black Wallace is actually Wally's cousin and this family just has two first cousins named Wallace West for some reason. Wallace (or Ace) is the current Kid Flash and is now about 16 years old. He and Wally have an adorable relationship.

Avery Ho: Debuted in 2016. Avery is Chinese American and splits her time between Central City and being a member of the Justice League of China.

Judy Garrick: A brand-new character. Judy is the daughter of Jay and Joan who was kidnapped as a child and then her parents were made to forget her existence, but even though her story has her dating back to the 1950s, she really only debuted this year.

I hope that answers your questions! Happy to explain anything that's not clear.

#flash family

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vintage1981 · 1 year

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Celebrating Ingrid Pitt

Ingrid Pitt (born Ingoushka Petrov; 21 November 1937 – 23 November 2010) was a Polish-British actress and writer best known for her work in horror films of the 1970s.

Ingoushka Petrov was born in Warsaw, Poland, one of two daughters of a father of German Jewish descent and a Polish Jewish mother. During World War II, she and her mother were imprisoned in Stutthof concentration camp in Sztutowo, Free City of Danzig (present-day Nowy Dwór Gdański County, Pomeranian Voivodeship, Poland) but escaped. In Berlin, in the 1950s, Ingoushka married an American soldier, Laud Roland Pitt Jr., and moved to California. After her marriage failed she returned to Europe, but after a small role in a film, she took the shortened stage name "Ingrid Pitt", keeping her former husband's surname, and headed to Hollywood, where she worked as a waitress while trying to make a career in films.

In the early 1960s, Pitt was a member of the prestigious Berliner Ensemble, under the guidance of Bertolt Brecht's widow Helene Weigel. In 1965, she made her film debut in Doctor Zhivago, playing a minor role. In 1968, she co-starred in the low-budget science-fiction film The Omegans, and in the same year, played British spy Heidi Schmidt in Where Eagles Dare opposite Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood.

Her work with Hammer Film Productions elevated her to cult figure status. She starred as Carmilla/Mircalla in The Vampire Lovers (1970), based on Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu's novella Carmilla, and played the title role in Countess Dracula (1971), based on the legends about Countess Elizabeth Báthory. Pitt also appeared in the Amicus horror anthology film The House That Dripped Blood (1971) and had a small part in The Wicker Man (1973).

During the 1980s, Pitt returned to mainstream films and television. Her role as Fraulein Baum in the 1981 BBC Playhouse Unity, who is denounced as a Jew by Unity Mitford (Lesley-Anne Down), was uncomfortably close to her real-life experiences. Her popularity with horror film buffs had her in demand for guest appearances at horror conventions and film festivals. Other films in which Pitt has appeared outside the horror genre are: Who Dares Wins (1982) (or The Final Option), Wild Geese II (1985) and Hanna's War (1988). Generally cast as a villainess, her characters often died horribly at the end of the final reel. "Being the anti-hero is great – they are always roles you can get your teeth into."

In the 1980s she also reinvented herself as a writer. Her first book, after a number of ill-fated tracts on the plight of Native Americans, was the 1980 novel, Cuckoo Run, a spy story about mistaken identity. "I took it to Cubby Broccoli. It was about a woman called Nina Dalton who is pursued across South America in the mistaken belief that she is a spy. Cubby said it was a female Bond. He was being very kind."

In 1999, her autobiography, Life's a Scream (Heinemann) was published, and she was short-listed for the for her own reading of extracts from the audio book.

The autobiography detailed the harrowing experiences of her early life—in a Nazi concentration camp, her search through Europe in Red Cross refugee camps for her father, and her escape from East Berlin, one step ahead of the Volkspolizei. "I always had a big mouth and used to go on about the political schooling interrupting my quest for thespian glory. I used to think like that. Not good in a police state."

Pitt died in a south London hospital on 23 November 2010, a few days after collapsing, and two days after her 73rd birthday, from congestive heart failure.

Seven months before she died, Pitt finished narration for Ingrid Pitt: Beyond the Forest (2011), an animated short film on her experience in the Holocaust, a project that had been in the works for five years. Character design and storyboards were created by two-time Academy Award-nominated filmmaker Bill Plympton. The film is directed by Kevin Sean Michaels; co-produced and co-written by Jud Newborn, Holocaust expert and author, "Sophie Scholl and the White Rose"; and drawn by 10-year-old animator, Perry Chen.

vimeo

#Ingrid Pitt #The Vampire Lovers #Countess Dracula #Academy Award #Anne Frank #Holocaust #Nazi #Where Eagles Dare #Kevin Sean Michaels #Hammer Films #The Wicker Man #The House That Dripped Blood #concentration camp #Stutthof concentration camp

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watching-pictures-move · 1 month

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Comfort Movies

Thank you for tagging me @thedrillerkiller!

I probably rewatch movies less than most, but looking at my Letterboxd stats, the ones I've revisited most often in the last few years are mostly horror movies whose visual worlds I like spending time in, and '80s action movies with relatively upbeat, or at least energetic, vibes. So here are seven, although if I think about this too much, I could swap in several others, and to keep things interested, I limited to one per director (otherwise some of these guys could make up the whole list).

The Beyond (Fulci, 1981)

Day of the Dead (Romero, 1985)

Die Hard (McTiernan, 1988)

Police Story (Chan, 1985)

Rambo: First Blood Part II (Cosmatos, 1985)

Suspiria (Argento, 1977)

Top Gun (Scott, 1986)

#personal

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theoddcatlady · 5 months

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Instructions on How to Become a Clown

Found this journal in an old storage locker I had taken possession of. It’s dated in the summer of 1985, and the pages are curled, smelling faintly of popcorn. As for the contents… well, go ahead and start reading.

June 1

Infiltrating Funtasia’s Dreamscape Circus was easier than I thought it was going to be. All I did was walk up to the ringmaster and he called me Petey, scolded me for showing up a day late, handed me a uniform, and told me to start mucking the animal cages. Whoever this Petey was, I’ll apologize at a later time for taking his job. I can just say I was confused since my real name is close enough to ‘Petey’.

This has to be where Janice Meyers ended up. The circus was in town the weekend she disappeared, and the friend of hers I interviewed said she had decided to go back on Saturday night. Her parents did admit there was an argument that night about their daughter’s grades, but insisted that Janice would never have run away of her own free will. But then again, fifteen year olds aren’t known for their soundest decisions.

Most circuses that have fallen into my line of investigation are closed communities- any outside questioning is shut off. I’ll have to spend a few days assuring these people I’m just like any of them. I just have to last long enough to determine if any of these people are Janice.

June 5

This is the easiest investigation I’ve ever had to conduct. Not only have the circus people been more than welcoming, I think I’ve figured out which one of the clowns is Janice.

Running away with the circus was a childhood dream of mine, and it seems she’s one of the people who pursued that dream. She says her name is Jenny, but her face shape is similar enough to to Janice’s. I just need to catch her out of make up- she goes everywhere with her face painted white and red hearts painted on her cheeks, so I’ve been yet to see if she has that beauty mark on her cheek. I’d like to catch her alone too, but she always hangs out with the fellow teenagers. It even appears she has a boyfriend, one of the acrobats named James.

What happened seemed straightforward at least. Girl falls in love with a boy, runs off to be with him, it’s the oldest story in the book. Once I confirm her identity, I’ll let her parents know posthaste. After, of course, I find the nearest police station and let them know that one of the clowns is a runaway girl.

June 8

Today was the first performance I was lucky enough to catch. This may be the most fun job I’ve taken in a long time. Most of the time, being a private investigator means I’m following unfaithful spouses or checking to see if someone’s scamming their insurance. Those drain at your sanity after a few years.

Today the ringmaster, Jacob Tanner, pulled me aside and told me to take a seat with the rest of the guests. I’ve worked hard, I deserve a breather.

The performances here are fantastic. The clowns are hilarious, the acrobats are graceful, and the animals are as gentle as your average pet dog or cat. Thanks to working here, I get free snacks too. I don’t know how it’s special, but the pink lemonade here is to die for. I’d drink it all day if my stomach wouldn’t explode.

Everything went off without a hitch, we’ll be on the road in the morning. I imagine I’ll confirm if Janice is Jenny for once and for all now that she’ll no doubt be out of costume. Such a shame too. I think she’s really enjoying her time here. But she is a child, and she needs to go back home.

June 15

Janice is Jenny. I caught her out of make up before she went on for her act, and she has the beauty mark. But there’s something stopping me from letting the police know.

There was an accident that happened tonight.

The act unfolded as normal, least I figure as much. A strongman named Louis Wicker was the base of a stack of clowns, at the top was young Janice. Five people stacked on one another, it was an unbelievable sight.

So unbelievable that it felt like a dream when Louis stumbled and the clown on his shoulders lost his balance. They all came crashing down like bowling pins. It certainly was not part of the act, judging by Janice’s terrified scream as she plummeted to the ground. I heard something crack and her body went limp.

A comical looking mini ambulance was driven out by more clowns as the ringmaster assured us all that everything was fine. The fake clown doctors tossed the clowns that were knocked unconscious by the fall into the ambulance with as much care as you’d throw a bag of flour. The conscious clowns and Louis were escorted off to the side.

I’ve tried to find the injured clowns after the performance, but they’re gone. I don’t know where they’re being kept. After a fall like that the extent of their injuries must be horrific. Tomorrow I’m going to the police to report this incident, as I didn’t see any real ambulances or any sign they were taken to a proper hospital. And without a doubt, Janice needs emergency care.

June 16

Now I’m just confused.

Janice is fine. Somehow completely, totally fine, as are the rest of the clowns and Louis. I saw her this morning at breakfast, just as energetic and happy as ever. She and James were sharing a plate of muffins and a bag of cotton candy… yes, for breakfast. Teenagers, what can you do. I’m not any better, I’m having pink lemonade with every meal, between them too. I may have to ask for the recipe, it’s genuinely the best lemonade I’ve ever had.

I did manage to question Janice about the fall and she brushed it off, saying that the clowns here have taken worse falls and bounced back even quicker. She mostly felt bad for Louis, she confided, as he blamed himself.

Something’s not right here. I’m going to stick around for a bit longer, as Janice is in perfectly good health and in no immediate danger. James seems like a solid boy, as does the other friends she’s picked up while she’s been here. We’re pulling into another town tonight.

June 18

We’re leaving tonight. We’re not spending the whole week here.

I’ve gotten quite used to the schedule already, especially because my job’s quite easy now that my muscles have adapted to the labor. So last night when I was roused and ordered to get the animals ready for travel, I was more than a little confused.

I managed to hitch a ride with James, Janice, and a juggler named Charlie. I grabbed a seat in front seat of the cab of their truck with Janice and Charlie. James was in the backseat with a girl I’d never seen before.

Teenager, not much older than Janice, with a blanket over her shoulders and face puffy and red with tears. I think she’s another runaway. James was very gentle with her, giving her water and pink lemonade to drink while stroking her hair. I’ve never met such a sensitive teenage boy, I can see why Janice is so taken with him.

Speaking of which- she’s not exactly happy with this new development. Ah, young love, truly so fickle. This might work out though, if Janice just wants to leave, then I’ll simply reveal my identity and take her home to her parents. It’s not like they can hold us here.

June 19

The kids spent their time coming up with a new name for the girl in the truck. Whatever her name was previously, she doesn’t want anything to do with it anymore. I don’t know much about her backstory, only that she was in a bad place and needed to get out.

After many ideas and more than a little bickering, James suggested the name Dixie, and that’s the name she’s going with. I think it’s rather cute, and it certainly suits her. Janice is managing to be polite, but I can already tell she’s seething with jealousy.

Something about that performance gone wrong is still nagging at me, and there is the fact that Dixie is likely another runaway child. But unlike Janice, I don’t think Dixie has a good home to return to, with parents that worry about her safety. She’s tense, flinches at loud voices and is constantly apologizing for just taking up space.

You won’t find me reporting her. That’s not my concern. My concern is Janice and no one else.

June 22

Last night’s show went well, Dixie’s yet to perform but according to James she’s currently training. Janice is sulky but refuses to tell James what’s on her mind, at least as far as I know. I think my plan of just waiting it out is actually going to pay off.

But then again, maybe I should spend more time second guessing my judgment.

It was after the show, I was heading back to the truck when I heard what I knew could only be one thing- drunk show goers. This wouldn’t be such a problem, except I was taking a shortcut through where the animals were kept after the show.

I made haste to the source and sure enough, these three idiots were sticking their hands in the cage, just for moments at a time to taunt the tigress that was in there. Obviously Lovely Belle, or just ‘Belle’ for short, was less than impressed.

I broke into a run when I saw that one of the idiots actually managed to get the cage door to unlock. It swung open and Belle trotted out, her ears pressed flat against her head as she growled. I expected one of the idiots to become mincemeat as I saw her raise her paw.

Only Charlie seemingly appeared out of nowhere and body slammed her target out of the way, saving him from his deserved fate of being a cat toy. The tiger raked its claws down Charlie’s back and he screeched before he tumbled to the ground, huddling into a little ball.

His yellow clown suit was soaked in blood by the time I got there. The idiots bolted, screaming their heads off, while Belle flopped down on the ground and licked clean her claws. In the dark it was nearly impossible to see how bad the wounds were, and before I could get him into the light the fellow circus people flooded around Charlie. Someone threw a blanket on him and the Wicker Brothers gathered him up and carried him into a trailer. Of course I told someone to call an ambulance, and I was assured that he’d be given proper medical care.

This morning though, Charlie’s back to… well, being Charlie. Little bastard put a tack on my seat and I didn’t notice it until I’d sat my full weight on it. He’s acting like nothing happened last night and assured me that it looked far worse than it was. He even demonstrated by taking off his shirt and gesturing to his back, which had only a few bandages on it- nothing like what you’d need if you were attacked by a tiger.

I keep telling myself that I really must have overreacted last night, that my brain is exaggerating the details. But as many times as I run the incident over and over again in my head… the more I’m certain that there’s no way in hell that Charlie should be okay right now.

June 25

Well, it finally happened. I’m taking Janice home.

I was talking with the clearly sullen girl, being as subtle as I could about her going home, when Dixie emerged from a tent. I’d not seen her since she was given her new name, I was starting to wonder where the girl had gotten off to, and here she was. She had pinned her hair up into twin pigtails and although her clown make up made her look like she was crying, she was clearly grinning from ear to ear. Dixie had become a clown, and I think that is the life that will suit her the best.

Charlie gaped like a fish and even James seemed taken off guard. “Already?” he croaked out, staring at the girl.

Dixie nodded and spun around. “I’m one of the clowns! Put away your frowns! I’ve taken them all, no more will I fall, for I am a clown!” she said before cartwheeling over to the table and using the flower pinned to her sweater to squirt me in the face with what smelled like really strong rose perfume.

Charlie clapped while James sprung to his feet, picking Dixie up and spinning her around and around. It might have gone a little over my head, but the three seemed really happy… until Janice slammed her fist into the table.

The girl had gone red with rage, getting to her feet and screaming, “Liar! Liar! It takes weeks to become a clown! You’re a fraud! A fake! A phony! Everything about you, from your name to… to you, is so disgusting and fake!”

It was so awkward. I desperately tried not to cringe, but I don’t think I quite managed. Dixie was surprised for a moment, before her bottom lip trembled. Now those tears going down her cheeks were real as she began to sob. Charlie got up to try to comfort her but she took off, running right back into the tent she had been training in.

James watched Dixie go before turning to Janice. To his credit, he seemed mostly calm, but his fists were balled up so tightly I was afraid I’d have to get between the lovebirds to prevent a brawl. He just gestured her to follow him and the pair went off.

I did my best to attempt to listen in on the argument, but I only got bits and pieces- enough to know that James called Janice for being way out of line and that although he really cared about her, he wasn’t really feeling the spark anymore. Janice accused him of leading her on and called Dixie a lot of names I won’t be writing down, as I don’t care for putting those kinds of words to paper, and she was the one that ended up trying to knock James’ block off. That’s when I intervened and separated the fighting teenagers.

While James blew off some steam with the knife throwers, I laid my cards on the table- I told Janice everything, that her parents sent me to find her, that they were really worried, and that it was time for her to come home. Maybe it’s a bit low to spring this offer on her when she was so emotionally raw, but it was my chance. And it worked.

We’ll be leaving Saturday night. One more performance, and then we’ll go when everyone’s packing up to go. I will miss my time at the circus. But I’m glad I’m going home.

June 30?

Everything’s fucked.

I don’t know what went wrong. Let me start from the beginning. Just in case I don’t make it out of here. Or maybe if I do. I’m so fucked.

Leaving went off without a hitch. Janice left a note for James, telling him goodbye and good luck with Dixie, and we took off in my car. No one even noticed we left, at least at the time. I wish someone did, someone stopped us before we went too far.

The drive was smooth, Janice badmouthed Dixie which I mostly ignored, I was already mentally making plans for how I was going to relax in the upcoming weeks… and then the cramps started.

It was just small twinges in my stomach at first. I figured my circus diet was finally catching up with me. I may have been in the best shape of my life, but you can only eat corndogs and circus peanuts for so long before something gives.

Janice rubbed her neck, muttering about being sore. The last thing I said was that I was pretty sure that the ibuprofen was in the glovebox when my gut erupted in pain. I nearly doubled over, going stiff as I wrapped a hand around my middle. I couldn’t speak, the pain was so bad. I tried to tell Janice that I needed to pull over because I was going to be sick, but the moment I opened my mouth all I could do was scream.

I looked up to see Janice’s face had gone white. Blood first only dripped from her nose, then it began to pour, spouting red all over the front of her shirt and the dashboard. I heard a snap, a crackle, and Janice’s arm was bent in three different ways, white shards of bone stabbing out of her skin.

I jerked the steering wheel and we went into the ditch, I banged my head off the dash but at least we had stopped. I bit my tongue and tried to unbuckle myself but the damn buckle locked, so I was just struggling uselessly while Janice’s body continued to break.

She cried, slumping against the car door as I heard more snaps and pops. Her leg twisted the wrong way around. The way she’d flinch made me think of when I saw someone trying to nurse broken ribs. Any twitch or movement looked agonizing.

Janice looked at me once last time.

“Help me-”

Her neck abruptly snapped to the side, her eyes rolled back, and just like that Janice Meyers was dead.

I finally got loose from the goddamn seatbuckle and threw open the car door, stumbling out as it felt like something was trying to rip its way out of my gut. I collapsed on my hands and knees, the world spinning around me before I heard an audible gurgle from my stomach.

I vomited all over the ground beneath me before I collapsed. The world spun circles around me, round and round like a carousel, and all I could really remember before it all went black was that my vomit was bright pink and smelled of lemonade.

I woke up here. I don’t know where I am. The cement walls hang with circus posters from years past, stretching back to the 1920’s.The lights are sometimes on. They’re usually off. I’m hurrying my writing because I don’t know when they’ll turn off again. Curtains hang from the ceiling, dirty, old, and I swear they change positions whenever the lights come back on. I don’t know. I can’t be sure.

They beat me. Charlie, James. For being teenagers they’re much stronger than they look. James was the instigator, Charlie mostly just shoved me back whenever I tried to make for the door. I think James was supposed to use this paddle the entire time, but he dropped it in favor of his fists, and he didn’t hold back. The lights went on and off, on and off, I must have lost unconsciousness by the time they left. I can’t find the door anymore. I don’t know if it was even there to begin with.

What did I get into

why is Janice dead

what have I done

. . .

I can’t tell if it’s night or day. I found the door again, it was just hiding behind the blue curtain. It’s locked, and I can’t make it budge when I throw myself against it, it must be locked from the outside. I need to conserve my strength.

There’s no food offered. Just fucking. Bottles of pink lemonade lined by the door. They’re mocking me. I’m not going to drink it. It might be poisoned anyway.

I have to get out of here and I can’t brute force it. I have to wait until the door opens again.

. . .

Throat’s so dry. No one’s come through the door.

They’ve left me to die down here haven’t they? Because of the car accident. That’s had to be what happened. A body doesn’t crumple. I must have swerved to avoid something and crashed the car. I’m sorry James. If you read this after I die I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt Janice. I swear. You may have not been in love with Janice but I know she meant a lot to you. I’m sorry to you too Charlie.

Please let me out of here.

. . .

The lemonade’s so refreshing. I had to drink it. It’s so hot in here. There’s no ventilation. I need to keep writing. I don’t know why they didn’t take my journal but it might be my only way to stay sane.

I can’t remember the accident still. I can’t tell if there was one or if really something else did happen in that car. All I recall is Janice’s body looking like a trainwreck.

They have to come in sooner or later. That’s when I can escape.

. . .

No escape. They made the door go away again.

It was James. And Jacob Tanner. And someone else. A magician, maybe? The door disappeared, they were there, and they began my training.

Jacob said they need someone to take Janice’s place. They’re down a clown now, and since it was my fault because I took her too far from the circus, they want me to become a clown.

No shit I told them no. I’m not going to be a fucking clown. I’m a detective. I told them that. Which in response James put a stupid hat on my head and declared me a clown detective before laughing like he told the best joke in the world.

This ‘training’ is just an excuse to torture me. They hand me balls to juggle, whenever I refuse to juggle or dropped them I’d get cuffed in the back of the head or whacked with a paddle. The last time I dropped to the ground I closed my eyes for just a second before I woke back up and everyone was gone.

I keep checking behind every curtain. I can’t find the door. All four walls are blank. I don’t know how but they made the door go away.

They left me a bag of popcorn too. It’s stale as fuck but I needed to eat something.

. . .

I keep begging for their forgiveness. I’ve stopped fighting back. I just want to go home. I won’t tell a soul. No one would believe me anyway.

They just hand me a knife and tell me if I don’t hit the bullseye this time they’re going to break my fingers.

. . .

Am I really alone in here?

Sometimes I think the curtains are hiding someone. I keep sweeping them out of the way, but there’s no one there when I do it. Maybe it’s like the door that keeps disappearing.

When I’m trained, I see them talk to this person sometimes. They turn their head and ask something, I can’t ever really hear it, but they call this person the ringmaster… even Jacob calls him the Ringmaster. I flipped back to check my memory, James is the ringmaster… or maybe he isn’t?

I don’t know anymore. My brain is swimming. They keep calling me Petey. My name is Paul. I’m Paul. Not… not Petey.

Or maybe not Paul anymore. Maybe not.

. . .

The Ringmaster has always been here. Behind the only curtain that’s never torn, she’s watching me. I can’t see her except for her silhouette, where she lounges to overlook my training. I’m too scared to move it, now that I see this room for what it really is.

I’m in a tent. I’m in a circus tent, and my face is smeared with white paint that I don’t think I put on. I’m not sure. I didn’t put in my journal that I put it on. I definitely didn’t keep this stupid detective hat on.

I’m now back in the cement room, but it only looks like that. I know the truth.

I need to pull back her curtain.

. . .

Dixie came to visit me.

She’s such a sweet girl. She yelled at James and told him to be nice to me. She cradled my head and soothed me while I cried in her arms. I told her I wanted to go home, that my name isn’t Petey and it won’t be Petey, and that I won’t be a clown detective.

She told me a story of a girl who no one loved. That no one saw as a girl, but as a thing. An embarrassment, an inconvenience. And how she had climbed to the tippy top of a tall building, all to end her life when she saw the circus lights. She figured, why not spend the last few hours she had on earth at a place that was truly happy?

She told me… that the circus wanted her, and it wants me too. It’s always wanted me. It’s why it let me in. Nothing was accidental.

Dixie left me with a cup of pink lemonade and a spam sandwich with the crusts cut off. The nostalgic taste made me cry.

The curtain needs to go. I need to know why the circus wants me.

Please tell me why I have to stay.

. . .

ha ha

well the time has come

to go where the air smells like popcorn and bubblegum

where the tents reach the sky

and we no longer need to cry

this is how I have become a clown

this is how you become a clown

come to the circus that’s here in town

when all you’ve known has burned down

there you will meet an Acrobat, a Juggler, and a Crying Girl

they’ll help you give it a whirl

you’ll be given pink lemonade and all sorts of delights

you’ll begin your training that very night

be sure not to sob when it hurts

you’re just getting your just desserts

to be a clown is to be forever

as long as the circus endeavors

pull back the curtain and meet the Ringmaster

A beauty with skin of alabaster

with cheeks redder than apples candied

she smiles at you and offers you a glass, brandied

you take it, you don’t say no to a woman like that

once you sip, she will give your head a pat

“You’re alone in the world, aren’t you?”

She’ll say, knowing that it’s true

you’ll nod, you don’t attempt to deny

that all this time you’ve just stood by

this world has not been kind

to those who don’t fit into average humankind

“You’ve always been one of us,” she told me

“That girl who died was too carefree,

She never understood what it meant to be a clown

how you should build up, not cut down

that in this circus you’ll never feel harm

that here, you’re always meant to charm

but once you leave, you will be pained

from that, you cannot be unchained

sad that Janice had to die

but come now, you have had your cry

it’s time for you to smile

you have finally passed your trial!

It’s time to become a clown

to your knees and bow down

you are now one of mine

in fact, you have become one of my bloodline!”

I knelt before my Ringmaster, taking her hand

this circus is a family that will never disband

and just like that I’ve become a clown

never again to frown

I hope that you’ll see these tents one day

and come on through the doorway

if you want to become a clown, here’s a tip

get some pink lemonade, have a sip

run away with the circus

and like that, you’ll be one of us!

Ha ha

ha ha

never again to frown

I have become a clown

ha ha ha

ha hah ha hahaha

hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa

#my stories

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riacte · 1 month

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this might sound like a weird ask but do you have any recs for old hong kong like 80/90s detective movies/shows that aren't just purely to show off martial arts. im writing a fic centered around there but i dont know where to start looking for research

After consulting my friend and her mom:

Police Story 警察故事 (1985)

A Better Tomorrow 英雄本色 (1986)

Young and Dangerous 古惑仔 (1996)

I feel like most crime shows have to do with police / triads instead of pure detective stuff, hope this helps ^_^

#ask box #answered

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justforbooks · 1 year

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David Crosby, who has died aged 81, was a premier-league rock’n’roll star twice. In the mid-1960s he was a founder member of the Byrds, the Los Angeles band often credited with inventing the genre “folk-rock”. This was defined by their shimmering recording of Bob Dylan’s Mr Tambourine Man, its distinctive harmonies and chiming 12-string guitar carrying it to the top of the charts in Britain and the US in 1965.

Arrogant and argumentative, Crosby was sacked from the Byrds in 1967, but, after producing Joni Mitchell’s debut album, Song to a Seagull, he found an ideal berth with Crosby, Stills and Nash. It was a group of distinct individuals who wrote their own songs, but together they created one of the great harmony-singing blends in pop history. Their debut album, Crosby Stills & Nash (1969), was an immediate smash, and proved hugely influential on a rising generation of west coast artists. Crosby’s long hair, walrus moustache and buckskin jacket made him look like a frontiersman for the Age of Aquarius. Their second album, Déjà Vu (1970), with the addition of Neil Young, and the band becoming Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young (CSNY), felt like the crowning moment of a California golden age. It topped the US chart, reached No 5 in the UK and has sold 14m copies.

The members then embarked on solo ventures and their reunions grew increasingly rare, though they reformed for a stadium tour in 1974, a lavishly wasteful affair that Crosby nicknamed “the Doom tour”. A major obstacle was that Crosby, a regular marijuana and LSD user, would succumb to a ferocious addiction to crack cocaine, with near-fatal consequences. This came to a head on 28 March 1982, when he was arrested by the California Highway Patrol after he crashed his car into the central divider on the Interstate 405 highway. Police found freebasing paraphernalia and a .45-calibre pistol in the car, and it was later determined that Crosby had suffered a seizure from “toxic saturation”.

A couple of weeks later he was arrested again on similar charges, this time at a Dallas nightclub where he was performing. A spell in a rehab facility in New Jersey failed when Crosby fled the premises. His decline from prince of west coast rock aristocracy to struggling addict was halted only when he was jailed in Texas in 1986, following yet another drugs-and-firearms arrest.

In 1985, Spin magazine had told its readers “The Tragic Story of David Crosby’s Living Death”, but after being paroled from Huntsville prison in August 1986, Crosby staged a remarkable comeback. He marked his return with the enthralling autobiography Long Time Gone (1988) and the solo album Oh Yes I Can (1989). He would make six further solo discs, in addition to Crosby & Nash (2004), two albums with Stills and Nash (Live It Up in 1990 and After the Storm, 1994) and American Dream and Looking Forward with CSNY (1988 and 1999). In 1987 he married Jan Dance, who had survived her own addiction purgatory alongside him. Shortly after being diagnosed with hepatitis C, in 1994 he underwent a liver transplant, the operation paid for by Phil Collins (Crosby had sung on Collins’s 1989 hit Another Day in Paradise), and bounced back with renewed energy.

Born in Los Angeles, he was the second son of the cinematographer Floyd Crosby and his first wife, Aliph Van Cortlandt Whitehead, a scion of the influential Van Cortlandt dynasty. Floyd came from an upper-class New York background, his father having been the treasurer of the Union Pacific Railroad, and his mother the daughter of a renowned surgeon. He had tried his hand at banking in New York before working on documentary films in the South Pacific (including FW Murnau’s Tabu, for which he won an Oscar) and eventually moving to Hollywood, where he won a Golden Globe award for his work on Fred Zinnemann’s western High Noon and made numerous films with Roger Corman.

David’s early musical influences included classical music and jazz as well as the Everly Brothers and bluesman Josh White, and he recalled how he would take the harmony parts when the family would gather to sing extracts from The Fireside Book of Folk Songs. A trip with his mother to hear a symphony orchestra “was the most intense experience I can remember from my early life” (as he wrote in Long Time Gone), because it illustrated how musicians could collaborate “to make something bigger than any one person could ever do”.

He attended the exclusive Crane school in Montecito, California, then Cate boarding school in Carpinteria. Though intelligent, he regarded academic work with contempt and refused to apply himself. One area where he did shine was in musical stage shows, such as his performance as the First Lord of the Admiralty in Gilbert and Sullivan’s HMS Pinafore. He subsequently attended Santa Barbara City College, but quit and moved to LA to study acting. However, music was becoming his true focus, and he began playing in folk clubs with his elder brother Ethan (who would take his own life in 1997). When a girlfriend became pregnant, Crosby hastily left town and worked his way across the country towards the folk-singing mecca of Greenwich Village, New York, where the likes of Peter, Paul and Mary, Phil Ochs and Joan Baez were breaking through, while Dylan was about to transform the musical climate entirely.

Crosby formed a partnership with the Chicago-born folk singer Terry Callier and they performed frequently together, before Crosby travelled down to Florida in 1962 to sample the folk scene in Miami’s Coconut Grove district. He then worked his way back to Los Angeles via Denver, Chicago and San Francisco. In LA he met Jim (later Roger) McGuinn and Gene Clark, all of them fascinated by the Beatles and the idea of mixing folk with rock’n’roll. They became the Jet Set, which evolved into the Byrds with the addition of the bassist Chris Hillman and drummer Michael Clarke.

Signed to Columbia, the Byrds had already built an enthusiastic local following by playing in clubs such as Ciro’s on Sunset Strip by the time Mr Tambourine Man was released in April 1965, and its success was followed up by their debut album, released in June. Crosby’s distinctive tenor voice was integral to the band’s vocal blend, and he began to develop an idiosyncratic songwriting style.

Influenced by jazz as much as rock, his songs used unusual chords and unconventional melodies. On the band’s third album, Fifth Dimension (1966), one of his most significant contributions was co-writing Eight Miles High. This psychedelic milestone gave them a Top 20 US hit, and also reflected Crosby’s infatuation with the jazz saxophonist John Coltrane. Their next album, Younger Than Yesterday (1967), featured Crosby’s ethereal Everybody’s Been Burned as well as his self-indulgent sound experiment Mind Gardens, while the song Why reflected his admiration for the sitar maestro Ravi Shankar. When the Byrds met the Beatles, Crosby’s enthusiasm for Shankar helped spark George Harrison’s interest in Indian music.

Crosby’s green suede cape and Borsalino hat had made him a Hollywood Hills style icon, but his days as a Byrd were numbered. He had irked his bandmates at the Monterey pop festival in June 1967 by making rambling speeches about LSD and the assassination of John F Kennedy, and also by getting on stage with Stills’s band Buffalo Springfield in place of the absent Young. Crosby’s song Lady Friend (1967) flopped as a single, and during the making of the album The Notorious Byrd Brothers he was fired after arguments over the choice of material. His song Triad, depicting a menage-a-trois, was vetoed by his bandmates as being too risque (Jefferson Airplane subsequently recorded it). Nonetheless, Crosby played on and co-wrote several tracks, and The Notorious Byrd Brothers is arguably the Byrds’ finest album.

Borrowing $25,000 from Peter Tork of the Monkees, Crosby bought a 74ft schooner called Mayan, where he would write some of his best-known songs including Crosby, Stills and Nash’s Wooden Ships. The obvious potential of CSN immediately won them a deal with Atlantic Records, which released their debut album in May 1969. Their second-ever live appearance was at the Woodstock festival that August. Though dominated by the all-round wizardry of Stills, the album showcased the different writing skills of each member. Crosby’s Guinnevere demonstrated his fondness for unusual scales and harmonies, while the bluesy Long Time Gone was a heartfelt response to the assassination of Bobby Kennedy and indicated the group’s willingness to embrace political and social issues.

Déjà Vu, released nine months later, brought another strong showing from Crosby. The hanging chords and mysterious time changes of his title track made it one of his most mesmerising compositions, while Almost Cut My Hair was his battle cry for the counterculture. However, personality clashes within the group while on tour in 1970 prompted them to split.

All the members made solo albums, including Crosby’s If I Could Only Remember My Name (1971). Additionally, he formed a successful duo with Nash, which brought them US Top 10 hit albums with Graham Nash David Crosby (1972, also UK No 13) and Wind on the Water (1975), and they reached No 26 with Whistling Down the Wire (1976). In 1973 Crosby reunited with his previous band for the album Byrds, and in 1977 Crosby, Stills and Nash released CSN, which reached No 2 on the US album chart and outsold the trio’s debut. However, by the time they made Daylight Again (1981), another US Top 10 hit, Crosby was in the throes of addiction. Allies (1983), a patchwork of live and studio material, was the group’s last effort before he was jailed.

Crosby’s post-prison renaissance continued with regular tours with CSN, who went on the road almost annually from 1987, with Young joining them in 2000, 2002 and 2006. He released the solo album Thousand Roads (1993), which gave him a minor hit single with Hero, then picked up the pace dramatically in the new century with Croz (2014), Lighthouse (2016), Sky Trails (2017) and Here If You Listen (2018). For Free, featuring Steely Dan’s Donald Fagen and Michael McDonald, came out in 2021. His final release, in December, was David Crosby & the Lighthouse Band Live at the Capitol Theatre.

One of his regular musical collaborators was James Raymond, his child with Celia Crawford Ferguson, whom Crosby had left pregnant in California in the early 60s, and who had given her baby up for adoption. She later moved to Australia. Raymond met his birth mother in 1994, then in 1995 introduced himself to his biological father at UCLA medical centre, where Crosby was having treatment following his liver transplant. An accomplished musician and composer, Raymond played in the jazz-rock band CPR with his father and Jeff Pevar (they released four albums between 1998 and 2001), was music director for Crosby’s solo live shows and also became a member of Crosby, Stills and Nash’s touring band from 2009.

Yet Crosby’s creative rebirth coincided with a calamitous breakdown in relations with his old comrades. In 2014 Young said CSNY would never tour again after Crosby described his new partner, Daryl Hannah, as “a purely poisonous predator”, and in 2016 Nash, who had always gone the extra mile for Crosby throughout his addiction years, also announced his estrangement from him.

In 1991 Crosby was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of the Byrds, and in 1997 with Crosby, Stills and Nash. He won the 2019 Critics’ Choice movie award as the “most compelling living subject of a documentary” for AJ Eaton’s film David Crosby: Remember My Name.

Crosby continued to be plagued by health problems. He suffered from type 2 diabetes, and in 2014 was left with eight stents in his heart following major cardiac surgery.

He was the sperm donor for the children of Melissa Etheridge and her partner Julie Cypher: their son, Beckett, who died in 2020, and daughter, Bailey.

Jan and their son, Django, survive him, as do James, a daughter, Erika, by Jackie Guthrie, and a daughter, Donovan, by Debbie Donovan.

🔔 David Van Cortlandt Crosby, musician, singer and songwriter, born 14 August 1941; died 18 January 2023

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #David Crosby #in memoriam

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