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fahrni · 7 months

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Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

I’m still having a great time at work integrating React Native into an existing iOS App. I still have a lot to learn about JavaScript and TypeScript but my interest is piqued. Don’t get me wrong, I still need to learn SwiftUI and I still love doing native work, but this is worth learning because we’re seeing more clients ask for it.

Just poured my first cup. I hope you enjoy the links.

Alan Herrera • Comic Sands

The United States Forest Service responded to a video filmed by a couple that went viral for allegedly showing Bigfoot walking in broad daylight.

I really do wish Bigfoot was a real thing. The skeptic in me says “Of course this is faked.” But how do we really know?

The truth is out there.🛸

Steven Lee Myers, Stuart A. Thompson and Tiffany Hsu • The New York Times

Now rebranded as X, the site has experienced a surge in racist, antisemitic and other hateful speech. Under Mr. Musk’s watch, millions of people have been exposed to misinformation about climate change. Foreign governments and operatives — from Russia to China to Hamas — have spread divisive propaganda with little or no interference.

Face it, Space Karen isn’t the genius everyone made him out to be. He’s a self serving narcissist with too much money and strange ideas.

I’ve been saying I won’t call X, X, because it’s still Twitter. I’m wrong. Twitter is gone. Now folks are left with X.

Please, please, please, sell the Twitter name and branding. Someone could make something amazing with it. 🐦

Swift Forums

When using this feature, the developer hand-writes Objective-C headers just as they normally would for an Objective-C class, but implements their declarations in Swift by using an extension marked with the new @implementation attribute.

This is an interesting idea but I’m not sure it’s any better than what we have today when using @objc notation.

I suppose it would mean the continued existence of the vaunted header file. 😄

Dave Winer

I have basically had it with JavaScript. It is a write-only language. More so than any other language I’ve used, including some pretty old and arcane systems. I asked ChatGPT to give DALL-E instructions based on this prompt.

Even if you don’t read Dave’s piece go check out the images generated by DALL-E. They’re beautiful works of art suitable for framing. Seriously.

Steven Beschloss

Twice now President Joe Biden made the decision to visit active war zones not under U.S. military command. These trips, to Kyiv in February and to Tel Aviv this week, are without precedent in modern American history. It’s easy to take these visits in stride: It’s the President of the United States! Surely, he has quite a circle of protection. But I think it’s worth reflecting on the vigor and guts—and principle—it took to meet American allies in person to demonstrate American support, despite genuine danger.

Joe Biden has been a great President. I don’t care if he’s “too old” to hold the office. He seems to be doing a pretty damned good job of it. 🇺🇸

Paul Thurrott

Crapware. PC makers have long installed crapware and other superfluous utilities in Windows, providing users with a compromised user experience that didn’t reflect what Microsoft intended. But with Windows 11, now Microsoft installs its own collection of crapware too, in the form of sponsored apps and shortcuts in the Start menu.

Seriously Microsoft? Some of your own software includes ads? That’s pathetic.

At least Apple’s annoying notifications for services are a little better, not by much, but slightly better. 🤬

Detroit Free Press

A politically connected Detroit synagogue president was found stabbed to death Saturday morning outside her home in the city’s Lafayette Park neighborhood, east of downtown.

If you think the war in Gaza and Israel don’t affect us at home, think again.

Hate crimes in the States will most likely continue to climb because of it. 😢

Chance Miller, Ben Lovejoy, Zac Hall, and Michael Potuck • 9 to 5 Mac

Is M. Night Shyamalan running Apple? The company just announced a Monday night keynote event on the eve of Halloween. The tagline? Scary Fast. Macs are rumored, but what Apple silicon will be inside?

How long have M2 Macs been a thing? I haven’t got a clue. Is the M3 a Halloween surprise just in time for the holiday season? 🤔

Joseph Heck

Over the summer, I started working with the Automerge team to bring its Rust-language core to Swift.

Joseph is a really nice guy and I’m excited to see him working on something he’s so passionate about. I’ll be keeping an eye on his progress. 🦀

Witney Seibold • /Film

Halloween’s Original Movie Poster Has A Creepy Hidden Detail - And It Happened By Accident

It took me a while to make out what they’re talking about. Go see for yourself.

Sindre Sorhus

Buffer will never be removed, and probably never even deprecated, but at least the community can slowly move away from it. My hope is that the Node.js team will at least start discouraging the use of Buffer.

I know nothing about JavaScript but it’s always nice to see someone advocate for making code safer.

Do you use Buffer in your code? Maybe it’s time to change that? 🦬

1Password Blog

How ethical hacker Jamie Woodruff used a pizza delivery to break into a server room

This made me think of the 1992 film, Sneakers. If you haven’t seen it, go watch it. It’s a great film. 👟

I’d be horrible security for a data center. Pizza? You have pizza? Sure, come on in! 🍕

Victor Tangermann • Futurism

AI chatbots like OpenAI’s ChatGPT and Google’s Bard consume an astronomical amount of electricity and water — or, more precisely, the massive data centers that power them do.

The crypto and AI data centers really need to get their act together and start building sources of clean energy to power these monstrosities.

Andy Greenberg • WIRED

They Cracked the Code to a Locked USB Drive Worth $235 Million in Bitcoin. Then It Got Weird

This is a cool story! Again, I think of Sneakers.

I hope this means folks who forgot their passwords are able to crack their keys open and sell off their bitcoin.

Especially the poor dude who has millions in bitcoin. He’s not using this tech, currently, but I hope he’s able to finally be able to cash out. 💸

Marc Elias • Democracy Docket

Republican lawyers are back in the news and are bringing disgrace to the party and profession. Even before the indictments in Georgia, it had been widely reported that at least five, and perhaps all six, of former President Donald Trump’s co-conspirators were Republican lawyers. Now in Georgia, we add several lawyers, some familiar and some new, to the list of Trump’s co-defendants.

At least some of these knuckleheads are pleading guilty and cooperating.

I still say his Orangness will get off scot-free. He’ll delay, delay, delay. Win the Presidency. Pardon everyone he can, destroy democracy, and not leave the White House until he’s dead.

If things get super bad I hope Canada and Mexico will accept American refugees.

Dave Rogers

Sea level rise is a game of inches. It doesn’t take many inches to create miles and miles and miles of problems. And it’s going to take decades to address those problems, so we might as well get started now.

Yay, climate change! 😡

If the Orangeman doesn’t destroy the nation, climate change might.

Dave, we won’t cleanup things on the shoreline. We’ll just let Mother Nature take it and leave a giant mess. Like we do. 😔

Christopher Nichols • Atlas Obscura

One of the reasons people can never be entirely sure about what is going on at Area 51 is that it is a highly classified secret military facility. It was not until 2013 that the United States government even acknowledged the existence and name “Area 51.”

I like this take on Area 51. We don’t need aliens to create crazy technology.

I do like the thought of aliens though. 👽

Daring Fireball

This “now is not the time” argument gets trotted out by Republicans after each and every gun massacre. Right after their tweets offering “thoughts and prayers”. Bullshit. The aftermath of a massacre is the time to demand sane gun control measures.

Yep. More pressure to pass great gun legislation. It’s time for a nationwide ban on assault weapons and other protections.

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ceo-of-sloppy-men · 3 years

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Who would get vaccinated in mass effect (my personal opinion)

Edit: Disclaimer because apparently I have to add this :/ I am a fully vaccinated individual also living in the global pandemic. I am making a joke to cope with the fact my province is literally worse than a garbage fire. None of this is intended to be serious, and yes there is Ashley slander. It is tagged for such. She’s poor female representation and frankly has no character development.

If you aren’t here for the post, keep scrolling! I ain’t offended if you do. It’s just rude to bring in hate to something I’m deliberately making a joke with.

ME1

Garrus, Shepard, Liara and Kaiden all got vaccinated right away for Tali’s sake. They convinced Wrex later by offering to let him punch every man who makes sleazy comments towards the female crew members in the nuts.

Ashley firmly believe that vaccines were anti-human propaganda and did not get vaccinated

Saron lead the anti-vax propaganda, but was in fact, vaccinated. He just didn’t want humans to get it.

Joker was vaccinated before saron became a problem, as well as Nihlus and Anderson. Udena had to because of council regulations.

ME2

Because they had both Tali and Thane on the ship, it was mandatory no matter what. Shepard made sure of it, even if they had to have grunt and Jack pin down Zaeed because he claimed “I’ll just kill anyone before they can infect me”.

The Illusive man was not, in fact, vaccinated. But he likes to tell people he is.

EDI didn’t need to because she’s an AI but enjoys reminding crew members to wear masks and stay safe.

The collectors were vaccinated because harbinger may be a dick but he’s smart.

Aria was 100% vaccinated and made it a policy on Omega that you had to. They had a whole quarantine zone, she knew what was up.

ME3

Anyone who had to be in the war room was vaccinated.

Eve, however, was exempt because her immune system was too vulnerable. Anyone who visited Med bay during this time - despite being vaccinated - was rapid tested to make sure.

Anyone who worked on the crucible project was vaccinated. Same with any refugees on the citadel due to close quarters.

Ashley was forced to get vaccinated if she wanted back on Shepard’s ship.

Even Javik got vaccinated - though he whined the whole time about primitive vaccination technology and that there wasn’t disease in his cycle.

Andromeda

We’re assuming this is an angaran disease now and that the arks were exposed to it when they reached andromeda.

All anagara are vaccinated. It’s legally required if you join the resistance. Evfra makes sure.

The kett got vaccinated by osmosis of having the archon get vaccinated and preforming their weird blood ritual.

Salone thinks it’s a angara hoax but got vaccinated to please the angara. Reyes is also not vaccinated. Kadara port doesn’t have any mandatory vaccine or testing.

The krogan may be himbos but they’re not stupid. It is mandatory in new tuchunka to be vaccinated.

The crew of the tempest is vaccinated. Between Draack being slightly more vulnerable to disease, Lexi being hard on everyone, and Jaal having a first hand account of what the disease can do, they’re all vaccinated. For everyone’s safety.

If Alec ryder was alive he would have gotten vaccinated after reading articles from both sides, and only deciding to do it with consideration of his wife.

#mass effect #mass effect spoilers #mass effect trilogy #mass effect andromeda #commander shepard #would they be vaccinated #spoilers #tali’zorah vas normandy #garrus vakarian #urdnot wrex #thane Krios #Ashley slander #jaal ama darav #evfra de tershaav

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carcinized · 3 years

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Hey hey hey I don’t have Tumblr BUT I saw your post about C!Tubbo dissociation headcanons and here I am, asking for them. And possibly more C!Tubbo headcanons. Preferably angsty. Just. Any of them. Please. Thank you.

oh, a fellow starved c!tubbo enthusiast. hello there, i do have some headcannons to spare luckily, hope you enjoy!! mostly this is the dissociation ones but i have some miscellaneous ones & songs at the end for you :]

so obviously uhhh tw for dissociation/depersonalisation/derealisation in this post!!! also going to put them under the cut bc this is long lmao

oh and disclaimer: this is very much based off my own experiences with (near constant) chronic dissociation so it might be different from other experiences!! yeah.

oh ALSO this is disorganized and probably missing stuff because i am going through a bad bout of spaciness as of right now, so apologies if anything is confusing, feel free to ask for clarification!

idk background timeline stuff so it fits into the story

at first he didn’t even realize he felt disconnected from things. it started off as a coping mechanism during combat and felt so similar to the feeling of being “in the zone” he’d known before that he didn’t question it

after a bit, it spread from only being there during battle to during conflict in general. still, he didn’t mind it—it actually made arguments more bearable because they felt almost secondhand.

eventually he came to use it as a crutch so much that it became constant.

that was when he started wanting it to go away.

and then because i can’t bear to give my precious c!tubbo constant dissociation he probably gets breaks from it sometimes idk lmao

his experiences:

gaps in memory

auditory processing issues

lots of depersonalisation and not recognizing himself in the mirror (which is even more fun/terrifying if you add in shapeshifter headcannons)

a lot of the time he feels like his actions aren’t his, which helped him to feel less bad doing morally ambiguous things (spying, exiling tommy, hunting technoblade, etc)

after it all he was left with near constant dissociation almost all the time.

it nearly always feels like the world is secondhand to him and he has no control/impact (ironic considering the power he has, and he knows that, but)

often wonders if he is dreaming and just waiting to wake up from a coma he’d gotten from one of his many battles.

when things get really bad he wishes he could just wake up from it.

often doesn’t recognize his hands looking down at them, especially with the burns he has now. they’re not his hands, right? but they are. they’re his hands. huh.

uhhh examples of where it could have been shown in plot if you squint lol

for example, that famous clip of him dancing while wilbur and tommy argue in the background would be a physical representation of him zoning out (dissociating) to get out of/away from an argument.

the whole yes man thing could have either been an auditory processing issue where he replied yes to wilbur without hearing what wilbur had asked OR a gap in memory where he didn’t remember telling tommy the opposite

he pulled away for like 5 months into snowchester and talked to hardly anyone but his husband and son. dissociation is hard to interact with people during because you feel so isolated for so many reasons—sometimes you feel you’re the only real thing there, sometimes it feels there’s a glass wall between you and everything else that IS real. and even ignoring that, most people can’t relate to feeling that way, leaving you even more alone. he could have pulled away because it was too much too keep going through that (i did that don’t recommend it tubbo JSJD)

miscellaneous headcannons that i don’t see very often:

after winning a battle, his instinct is to play a disc and look out at the sunset because that’s what he and tommy always did (see his lore yesterday (june 18th)—he did it with ranboo despite tommy not being there)

i’m rather fond of my original-l’manberg-citizens-consider-haircuts-and-fixing-up-appearances-affectionate-because-wilbur-did-it headcannon so i’ll add that here—basically wilbur gave everyone military cuts and new suits and everything. and while that was just for war, it was also because he cared about all of them. ever since, they all considered fixing up someone’s appearance an act of love.

tubbo refused to let anyone cut his hair after the red festival, not trusting anyone. he would probably let ranboo do it now, only he’s rather attached to the way it hides his burns and some of his horns and keeps him warm in the freezing snow.

he builds walls like how tommy builds cobblestone towers—a reflex, a coping mechanism, a habit. he built the l’manberg walls and ever since the defense has been second nature, whether for the best or the worst.

ive been waiting forever to share these i have way too many. i pass the hours staring out the window listening to misterwives and imagining c!tubbo animatics to it and now i have a chance to share them oh my god

so without further ado,

c!tubbo animatics i have in my head:

whywhywhy by misterwives: ok this one isn’t chalked out but it has him vibes

alone by misterwives: just him and ranboo. figuring things out. helping each other heal. i legitimately have an entire animatic in my head to this lyric by lyric and could make a fucking storyboard for it if only i could draw. if anyone wants me to write out lyric by lyric what it WOULD be though feel free to send an ask aHAHHAHAHA

over the rainbow by misterwives: a montage of c!tubbo just. finally going apeshit. that would be so cathartic alright and it’s such a badass song he deserves it

it’s my turn by misterwives: pretty much any times that tubbo finally got to do something back at someone who wronged him—the butcher army going after technoblade, him yelling at quackity about borders saying “well don’t i get to put my foot down too?” the lyrics “i know you’ve got your version of the story, i’m sick of saying sorry, i’m sick of always having to explain” during his spy arc PLEASE he had to justify everything he did and the “are you happier?” comment and schlatt breathing down his neck aAAAA give my boy a break (also the instrumental uses a lemon demon-type sound which makes me think of ranboo so i love imagining a cool bee dup building the outpost montage there snhshagahffn)

find my way home by misterwives: idk the vibes just fit man

oxygen by misterwives: hhhrnggg clingy duo angst oW

i did say i spend a lot of my time listening to misterwives and daydreaming c!tubbo animatics didn’t i?

anyways yeah. here’s some c!tubbo content to help us poor starved c!tubbo enthusiasts :’D also misterwives propaganda go listen to them female led band with a fucking badass lead singer with banger songs and incredible vocals and lyrics ANYWAY

#dsmp #tubbo #dream smp #mcyt #dissasociation tw #feel free to add your headcanons btw or ask for clarification on these!!! i would love to talk abt c!tubbo with you SHJDJDJDJD #dissociation tw #depersonalisation tw #derealization tw #allyster rambles #ask #anon

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picnic-at-dreaming-rock · 3 years

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Top 5 New Books of 2020

A round up of the top 5 new books that I have read this year, full 2020 reading list found here

Warning for possible spoilers below the cut.

Please Don’t Hug Me - Kay Kerr

Erin is looking forward to Schoolies, at least she thinks she is. But things are not going to plan. Life is getting messy, and for Erin, who is autistic, that’s a big problem. She’s lost her job at Surf Zone after an incident that clearly was not her fault. Her driving test went badly even though she followed the instructions perfectly. Her boyfriend is not turning out to be the romantic type. And she’s missing her brother, Rudy, who left almost a year ago.

But now that she’s writing letters to him, some things are beginning to make just a tiny bit of sense.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I cannot stress enough how much I love this book. Growing up as an autistic teen girl, I really lack a lot of representation, both real and fictional, and this books is a huge step forward in remedying that. Written by an autistic woman (yes, this is an #ownvoices novel!), Please Don’t Hug Me shows autism in a new and beautiful light as to what is most commonly shown. Erin is no genius savant that is only autistic when plot relevant or has a lack of social skills used only for comedic relief, but instead a encapsulation of the ordinary and everyday autistic experience of just wanting to get through the day with as little meltdowns as possible while still maintaining your neurotypical facade.

The Dictionary of Lost Words - Pip Williams

In 1901, the word bondmaid was discovered missing from the Oxford English Dictionary. This is the story of the girl who stole it.

Motherless and irrepressibly curious, Esme spends her childhood in the Scriptorium, a garden shed in Oxford where her father and a team of lexicographers are gathering words for the very first Oxford English Dictionary.

Esme’s place is beneath the sorting table, unseen and unheard. One day, she sees a slip containing the word bondmaid flutter to the floor unclaimed. Esme seizes the word and hides it in an old wooden trunk that belongs to her friend, Lizzie, a young servant in the big house. Esme begins to collect other words from the Scriptorium that are misplaced, discarded or have been neglected by the dictionary men. They help her make sense of the world.

Over time, Esme realises that some words are considered more important than others, and that words and meanings relating to women’s experiences often go unrecorded. She begins to collect words for another dictionary: The Dictionary of Lost Words.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

One of my favourite parts about this novel is how perfectly it showed both misogyny and classism/elitism, and how they intertwined. Although it is set in the mid/late 19th century and early 20th century, there is this sense of relatability to it that I think I lot of people might be able to recognise. Williams deals with a lot topics that I don’t often see in other media, such as menstruation without fancy allusions or making it into anything other than what it is, pregnancy out-of-wedlock without it being seen as a character flaw on the woman’s part, and showing characters one might consider like a hag or spinster to be good people worth celebrating because of things that deem them lesser rather than despite it or not at all. One main criticism I do have with this book, however, is how it seems like William just adds tragedy for the sake of moving the plot forward/to add shock value or drama. I will admit, it did get me crying at some parts, it did get a little tedious and lack-luster to have the last half of the novel just be death after life-altering event after death after life-altering event.

The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will be busier still.

By her brother's graveside, Liesel's life is changed when she picks up a single object, partially hidden in the snow. It is The Gravedigger's Handbook, left behind there by accident, and it is her first act of book thievery. So begins a love affair with books and words, as Liesel, with the help of her accordian-playing foster father, learns to read. Soon she is stealing books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever there are books to be found.

But these are dangerous times. When Liesel's foster family hides a Jew in their basement, Liesel's world is both opened up, and closed down.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

I read this book for my advanced literature class earlier this year and it was a great choice on the schools part. Everyone in my class enjoyed it, even if a lot of us were crying by the end of the novel. The book itself is rich with literary techniques that enrich the actual reading if you are one of those people that like to dissect what they read. I think Zusak made a really good choice with having Death narrate, as well as how he tied in his own experiences/interjections in these mini vignette-type extracts which I found really enhanced both the overall atmosphere and environment. The only qualm I have is that there were a lot of questions left unanswered that made the story feel somewhat empty.

Picnic at Hanging Rock - Joan Lindsay

It was a cloudless summer day in the year nineteen hundred.

Everyone at Appleyard College for Young Ladies agreed it was just right for a picnic at Hanging Rock. After lunch, a group of three of the girls climbed into the blaze of the afternoon sun, pressing on through the scrub into the shadows of Hanging Rock. Further, higher, till at last they disappeared.

They never returned.

Whether Picnic at Hanging Rock is fact or fiction the reader must decide for themselves.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

I watched the Foxtel miniseries first a couple years and thoroughly enjoyed it and sought out the novel very quickly afterwards. I will be honest, I picked the novel up first around 2018/19 and dropped it until earlier this year when I reread/finished it and loved it. Lindsay’s ability to create this perfect and constant juxtaposition between the natural Australian bush and the intruding colonialism is really amazing and adds this interesting aesthetic that the academia community on this site seems to enjoy. There is also a really interesting dynamic between the female characters (which is most of the characters, to be fair) and they feel complete and authentic, something that doesn’t always exist in other works of literature. There is also one canon queer character, but there is so much subtext in the novel for so many other characters that it feels purposeful. All in all, this is the gayest straight book I ever read.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - Suzanne Collins

It is the morning of the reaping that will kick off the tenth annual Hunger Games. In the Capital, eighteen-year-old Coriolanus Snow is preparing for his one shot at glory as a mentor in the Games. The once-mighty house of Snow has fallen on hard times, its fate hanging on the slender chance that Coriolanus will be able to outcharm, outwit, and outmaneuver his fellow students to mentor the winning tribute.

The odds are against him. He's been given the humiliating assignment of mentoring the female tribute from District 12, the lowest of the low. Their fates are now completely intertwined -- every choice Coriolanus makes could lead to favor or failure, triumph or ruin. Inside the arena, it will be a fight to the death. Outside the arena, Coriolanus starts to feel for his doomed tribute... and must weigh his need to follow the rules against his desire to survive no matter what it takes.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

The Hunger Games was one of the series in primary school that rocked my literary world (joining the ranks of The Great Brain, Harry Potter and The Books of Beginning) and helped inspire my love of reading, and when I heard about a prequel I was over the moon with nostalgia. I found it a couple days after its release at Target for $16 and I loved it. I finished it in about a week and I could barely put it down. I loved reading how the hunger games came to be and how they ended up the way they were, as well as advancing Collins’ previously established and incredible world building. The book also adds upon the themes in the original trilogy of government corruption, classism, elitism, individualism and propaganda, but from those that benefit from it (e.g. Snow) instead of those that suffer (e.g. Katniss). I have seen some criticism from people about not liking it being from Snow’s perspective but I personally think that it was the perfect choice, as no other character’s story would be able to add to the story in such a meaningful way.

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smolie · 3 years

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in december i wrote a 2020 year music review for myself that i intended to post here BUT...because i was infamously restricted twice last year, i didn’t bother since you wouldn’t be able to read it anyway because it was not possible to view my blog hjfdhfd

now that my restricted era is (hopefully forever) over i just want to post it here for the sake of completion since i want to do the same thing this year

this is really long so if you actually read it ... idk you are insane in the membrane and i love you... but i genuinely don’t expect anyone to read this hjfdhjf i just like reflecting on the music i have listened to and be able to look back on what i enjoyed in certain stages of my life! okiiii bye 💗

january

mac miller - circles (album) it’s a bit funny that i worried putting my thoughts down about this album and now it turns out to be first on the list, chronologically of course … oh bittersweet irony </3 listening to this album is such a double edged sword, either way i am always hit with a truckload of feelings when i turn to this release.

this album came to me in a time of my life where i was slowly but surely sliding down towards rock bottom again just after i got out of it and thought i was okay. the times i’ve listened to this crying in the bathtub with a glass of wine….girl let’s not lol…. it’s almost strange how much i can relate to the thoughts another person brought to paper. the comfort this album brings me is otherworldly, i feel so understood by mac’s words and it’s my go-to “wallow in self-pity for a bit then come out stronger than before” album. then again, i feel a little sting when any of mac’s songs come on shuffle. a friend of mine said she cannot listen to artists who have passed because it feels too strange and most of the time i agree but this time, it’s so so different. this album would have been mac’s salvation, i can feel it. everything would have been a bit brighter and lighter for him after this, it would have had to be. i feel like i would do him a disservice if i did not listen to this album, so i will cherish this final gift from him as his legacy and my comfort. i miss him incredibly and am all the more thankful he shared his heart with us.

album favs: circles, good news, surf

tiny meat gang - broke bitch (single) MAN I TELL THAT BROKE BITCH IF YOU WANNA GET IN TUNE BETTER CHANGE YOUR WHOLE PITCH LIKE WOAH !!!!!!!!!! did that give you whiplash? hehe funny to say this about a song called broke bitch by a duo called tiny meat gang but this song actually means a lot to me! it came out shortly before their show in berlin and i almost exclusively listened to it on my 7+ hours train ride from one side of the country to the other to see my meat boys. this played out of the fat ass speakers at the venue when they stepped on the stage and i will never forget meeting them :’) also the song fucking slaps obviously

february

loona - [#] (mini album) ah yes, the most controversial loona release to date! i’m not gonna lie and say this sounded anything like i expected it to. but also, i have come to terms with the fact that loona release noise music now and personally i am here for it. why not did not have the endless energy of hi high or otherworldly vibe of butterfly, but it’s a hype song and i am always there for hype. i also have to say the b-sides were not as strong for me as on previous releases but i think i have to come to peace with the fact that loona will never top their debut mini for me. though if i can wish for one thing…… let loona have title tracks with a chorus in 2021? pls? crumbs?

album favs: so what, oh (yes i am)

tame impala - the slow rush (album) *lights cigarette* i’m listening to pretty underground music….i don’t think you’ve heard of this band….they are called tame impala *intro of the less i know the better starts playing* yes i am a basic white bitch and listen to like 3 alternative bands but damn i listen to them religiously. like any other basic bitch on this planet i found out about tame impala through the less i know the better and checked out their music. i wasn’t too much into this album as i was into currents but towards the end of the year, i was in a moody alternative music slump that took me back to this album and i like it a lot more now! most importantly, tame impala fulfills my primitive urge to listen to songs that exceed the 4 minute mark. something clicks in my brain when i see a song that is like 6:34 and chances that it ends up as one of my faves on a album are high. i enjoy tiktok like everyone else but this trend of 2:50 long songs needs to be stopped immediately.

album favs: borderline, lost in yesterday, it might be time, is it true, posthumous forgiveness

honorary mentions: onlyoneof - dOra maar, everglow - dundun

march

nct 127 - neo zone (album) ah, yes. the album that fundamentally changed me as a person <3 i’ve been listening to nct for a while, matter of fact i checked my top tracks 2019 playlist on spotify and cherry bomb was on there lol. i remember trying to get into them in 2018 when they released their regular-irregular album but the endless member & unit concept scared me off, so i only listened to a handful of songs without looking into them march 2020, the fateful month in which they released kick it and screencaps of jaehyun’s sexy ass tiddies in the kick it mv landed on my tumblr or twitter and i HAD to look up who this man is…...remember when i thought jaehyun was my ult for like, 2 weeks? me neither, johnny suh only in this house <3

anyway, i checked out this album and by god, is this pure kpop perfection. last time i listened to a god tier no skip album like this was … maybe the perfect red velvet? hype songs, well crafted ballads, love songs that make me wanna learn the lyrics, genuinely fun and interesting pop songs, this album has it all. somehow, the way this album is crafted greatly reminds me of brown eyed girls’ sound-g, it has the same vibe, concept and mix of genres to me, i’m not entirely sure how to explain. anyway, this album is one of my favorites of all time and even though i’ve obsessively listened to it (lastfm says 1.4k scrobbles as of today, december 7th…) i am still not tired of this. i recommend this to anyone who loves kpop tbh, you will have a good time with this!

other than being just a musically solid album, the emotional ties i have with this are …. isabel stop making albums your emotional support 2021 challenge. i’ve listened to this release all spring lockdown, this basically played at every waking hour for all of march and april. the promotion time of this era and lockdown are deeply intertwined for me and so i am always remembered of all the nct content i consumed during that time which inevitably cheered me up so much. this album really means a lot to me :’)

album favs: kick it, mad dog, love song, boom

honorary mentions: itzy - wannabe,

the weeknd - after hours (album) my dear melchanoly, was one of my favorite releases of 2018, so i had been desperate for a new release by abel and boy did he not disappoint. the perfect thotty, dirty emo 80s, making it clap while crying in the club album! this is a no skip from top to bottom and all i can say is that the grammys can go to hell <3 abel aoty! there is really not much i can say about this album, the flawless production, lyrics and sound speak for themself. my only criticism is that i feel overwhelmed by 14 songs, especially when some of them are really long. a few songs greatly overshadow the weaker tracks on the album for me but i still love this to death.

album favs: escape from LA, blinding lights, after hours, faith

dua lipa - future nostalgia (album) after the weeknd’s masterpiece of an 80s inspired pop album i was really looking forward to this. i greatly enjoyed the pre-releases, i played don’t start now and physical up and down, they are still some of my favorite songs released this year! when i first listened to the album i really liked it, songs like boys will be boys or pretty please sound like fillers to be but the rest is solid. yet a month after release you couldn’t catch me listening to this and i cannot even really tell you why. i think it was a combination of the following: 1) i greatly overplayed dsn and physical to the point where i didn’t want more of the pop 80s sound that the album has 2) there were other releases at the time that caught my attention and interest more like neo zone or after hours 3) dua herself….girl….she really gave it her all this year to make herself as unlikeable as possible. nationalist propaganda and the constant traveling during a fucking pandemic were really the kicker. i can barely stand seeing her on my instagram feed anymore, much less listen to her album. her having the nerve to go “we’re in a pandemic lol” when people asked about an animated music video …. if you don’t shut the hell up lmao … also, she takes the crown for the corniest album opener of all time. i nearly closed spotify when i heard future nostalgia (the song) lmao

album favs: don’t start now, physical, levitating, hallucinate

honorary mentions: megan thee stallion - savage

april

apink - dumhdurum (song)

listen, i’m not gonna sit here and pretend like this mini album interested me in the slightest but god, the title is such a banger.i’m so sick, eung eung and dumhdurum are a holy trilogy that i will defend until the end of time! i really hope apink stick to this mature, elegant concept, it suits them so well and goes well with their new sound. come back soon queens <3

rina sawayama - xs (song) i feel like i’m gonna catch some hands here … xs is an absolute banger, the guitar riffs and disruptive sounds really get me going every damn time! but the rest of the album … tell me why it doesn’t catch me?! i literally cannot explain. i need to take an hour, sit down and do nothing but listen to the album from top to bottom once again and see if my thoughts change but right now i only care about xs.

chungha - stay tonight (song) drama! vocals! dance break! choreography! this release served it all. i listened to this obsessively during the time of the release and it still holds up today. can we talk about the run chungha had with gotta go > snapping > stay tonight? lord have mercy.

honorary mentions: april - lalalilala, nct dream - ridin’

may

lady gaga - chromatica (album) the immense disappointment i have in this album is tough to put into words lol. any other artist might have gotten away with this release but gaga having the discography that she has, well … she doesn’t get away with it. this has underwhelming all over it. i enjoyed the pre-releases and my hope was high but the rest just doesn’t live up what i expected, i can’t even say why. it’s just underwhelming pop for someone of gaga’s calibre. i listened to this album during release week and then never again till december to write this list and i can see why.

album favs: rain on me, sour candy ft. blackpink, stupid love

baekhyun - delight (mini album) it’s confession time … this is a name i never would have expected on any of my music lists to end up. exo has always been one of those boy groups i casually listened to. i greatly enjoy their title tracks and a handful of side tracks, i have a few members that i keep an eye on more than others but that’s about it. baekhyun was never one of those members i had any interest in, matter of fact i always thought he was kinda vanilla and boring 😭 i didn’t even plan on listening to this release if it wasn’t for his association with superm and thus nct, so i gave it a shot and we have no choice but to stan. his voice is like butter and can cut sharp at the same time, his versatility is insane. i dived a bit more into baekhyun related content and he is so likeable, it’s almost ridiculous. this production is absolute god tier, not a single skip on this mini. late spring/early summer i had this weird urge to listen to songs with mellow voices but still a banger instrumental and i wholeheartedly blame this release. matter of fact, this album is so good, i had to buy a physical copy. Y’ALL. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. i haven’t bought a kpop album of anyone that’s not holy top 3 (brown eyed girls, loona, nct) in like … idk, 5 years?! baekhyun’s impact. i’m a fan now <3

album favs: candy, r u ridin’?, love again

ak aussenkontrolle - in meinem benz (song) this … is very unrelated to this entirely list but i had to put it on here. i miss my ex boss and our 3 hour drives to meetings in the south of the country where we would blast trashy german rap music </3

nct 127 - neo zone: the final round (repackage) *airhorns* REEEPACKAGE TIIIIIME!!! my first nct era that i experienced from start to finish! i remember watching nct 127’s beyond live with luna where these mfs performed punch and we finished the concert having no idea what this song sounded like. the structure is so unusual and the intro catches me off-guard every time just to hype me up beyond compare. not gonna lie, the fact that johnny has exactly one (1) line hurts but! it’s my favorite line of the entire song! possibly related to the fact that it’s his line but let’s ignore that ….

album favs: punch, make your day

kim woo seok - red moon (song) i’m not even gonna lie to you. i have not a single idea who this man is. you could put him right in front of me and i wouldn’t know … all i know is that he has a banger song. i saw him perform this on a music show that i watched for nct and i ended up loving the song … thanks for your service sir, whoever you are ...

june

stray kids - go live (album) 2020 was kind of the year of boy groups for me, i’m so sorry … stray kids promoted simultaneously with nct 127 so i ended up hearing their title track and holy hell, is that a song. god’s menu is hype from start to finish. it reminds me of good ol’ 2nd gen noise boy group song a lá b*g b*ng fantastic baby. just pure hype and fun noise. i am forever grateful to witness the birth of the line cooking like a chef, i’m a five star michelin. the title track impressed me so much that i ended up checking out the entire album which i rarely ever do with boy groups and what is even rarer is that i enjoyed the b sides lmao!!! it’s not an album that i would put on and just enjoy from start to finish but it has some really solid tracks! this release made me want to keep an eye on stray kids, they seem like a really fun bunch.

album favs: god’s menu, TA, airplane

seventeen - left & right (song) the boy group run continues … same thing with stray kids, seventeen promoted during punch era so i heard their song while watching some music station show for nct and i heard this and was sold. solid, fun pop with the catchiest pre-chorus in history and a banger chorus. i listened to the entire mini and can’t say it really caught my interest so this is a title track only release for me.

dishonorary mentions: twice - more & more (i hate this song so much lol)

honorary mentions: ryu sejeong - tiger eyes, monsta x - fantasia, chloe x halle - do it

july

irene & seulgi - monster (mini) this is a weird release because it’s good. the title track is fun enough, the b sides are dope. but my issue with this is that it’s nothing new. this sounds exactly like a red velvet release. i get that they didn’t want to a joy, seulgi, irene, yeri release only and went for the sub-unit route instead, but why not be experimental and stray away from the usual sound of the group? also, whoever made monster and not naughty the title track deserves to be spat on. at least the choreography here is more interesting and “experimental” for kpop standards. also, why only a seulgi solo and no irene? i have no idea how reveluvs reacted to this release but this has rushed written all over it.

album favs: monster, naughty (i’m counting this to the mini idc), uncover

exo-sc - 1 billion views (mini) doing my part as a filthy casual exo listener. this release goes in the same category as baekhyun’s delight where i like the album so much that i HAD to get a physical copy. i don’t know what they put in the title track for it to be so diddly darn addictive but it clearly worked. the only bad thing about this release is how criminally mismanaged it was by sm, when i get you lee sooman ...

album favs: 1 billion views, on me, say it

baekhyun - garden in the air (song) i told you i’m a loyal baekhyun fan now <3 king releases and i listen, that’s just how it goes now! this is a cover of a boa song and i really love his version. there is not much to say except that it’s a really smooth song and his voice absolutely carries the track. i enjoyed this much more than i thought i would!

hyoyeon - dessert (song) YOU KNOW WHAT I DESERVE??? DESSERT!!!!!!! *insert tik tok challenge here* imagine if miryo featured on this instead of the ethnic hip girl … why can’t we have nice things. anyway, a banger!

johnny - sunny side up episode 1 set (spotify playlist, actual set) johnny being the skilled, talented, multi-faceted king that he is has been dj-ing since before debut (not me acting like i was around at that time lmao) and thus he decided to bless our quarantined, lockdowned asses with an online dj set! that was the most turned up sunday morning i ever had in my entire life. this set kicked off an edm/house/techno affinity that i had for the following couple of weeks. this set is an absolute banger, i would go insane to this in the club. he has an amazing ear for transitions and drops and i still just put on this set on the regular when i have cleaning to do or so. he could fill the void that rona and thus no clubbing in 2020 left in my heart and i’m so happy he decided to share this with us <3 now … john … sunny side up episode 2 pspspspspsps

honorary mentions: gfriend - apple, jessi - nunu nana

august

cardi b ft. megan thee stallion - wap (song) late summer 2021. we are vaccinated, icu beds are free, barely any new cases, clubs are open, this song plays and i can finally make it fucking clap.

troye sivan - in a dream (mini album) a cute mini album! nothing life-changing or as exciting as previous releases but easy (haha!) to enjoy. i really, really enjoy easy, can always count on troye for a dreamy sound.

album favs: easy

honorary mentions: itzy - not shy

september

wonho - love synonym pt. 1: right for me (mini album) honestly? i know like, 3 monsta x songs. i never bothered to get into them and maybe i never will, but it was difficult to ignore the whole wonho & monsta x mess that went on. i have absolutely no memory of why i decided to check out this release, i guess i was curious what he was going to do and … i was positively surprised lol. open mind is the exact time of song i had been so desperate all summer (remember mellow vocals with banger instrumentals? yeah) and uhm … can’t ignore the obvious … mr wonho is fucking fine. sir, you just gained a fan … now, where is love synonym part 2?? huh?????

album favs: open mind, i just, losing you

joji - nectar (album) this one is on tiktok. i heard gimme love in a bunch of tiktoks and had to look up the song and here we are. what an album! it came right as seasonal depression started to hit and accompanied me for a good chunk of autumn. at this point one has to ask if joji can ever really miss? the entire album is a no skip, it’s almost difficult to narrow down my favorites if my favorites weren’t so damn god tier!!!

album favs: gimme love, ew, tick tock, pretty boy, your man

super m - tiger inside / 100 / drip (songs) okay, listen. technically tiger inside & 100 were already released in august. instead of those three songs i was gonna write about the entire album until i realized i really don’t give a fuck about it 😭 i really only care about those three songs. and YES, i unironically like 100. is it a good song? no. but neither is jopping and that fucking bangs. i don’t turn to superm for life-changing, profound music, i turn to them for a good time LOL and that’s what they deliver every time! that being said, taeyong’s VROOM VROOM, UHMM UHMM, GRRRAHHHH verse is life-changing and profound! speak your truth king! also i wish drip was a b side for nct 127 that song is so damn sexy

taemin - never gonna dance again act 1 (album) this isn’t kpop, this is taemin pop. taemin never misses and the fact that hw*s* won dance performance over taemin is a literal hate crime. i will never forget the industry for this daylight robbery … anyway, nice album!!!!

album favs: criminal, black rose, waiting for

stray kids - in life (repackage) *airhorns* REPACKAGE TIIIIME 2.0!!!! i was on the edge of my seat waiting what stray kids were going to deliver after i greatly enjoyed god’s menu. i was still not over listening god’s menu when the repackage came out so i didn’t listen to it right away and now i greatly regret the few days i could have listened to back door earlier </3

album favs: back door, any

jackson wang - pretty please (song) i’m not gonna pretend like i ever listened to a song by jackson ever before. he is short king from got7 in my head and that’s all! i don’t even remember why i listened to this song but all i know is that it slaps severely. i love the wong kar wai inspired music video and the choreography is fun too! i’m gonna check out more of his music <3

honorary mentions: fromis9 - feel good, knk - ride

october

blackpink - the album (album, duh) i don’t even know what to say about this … this might be the weirdest release on the list for me. there are song i absolutely fucking hate (ice cream …) and songs i get my life to (pretty savage) on here and the discrepancy just gives me massive whiplash. i would never put this album on and listen to the whole body of work, i just cannot with the brain damage it gives me. i am still stuck in 2016, begging for bp to release music like whistle/boombayah/stay/playing with fire but i think i need to give up on that wishful thinking … i am just grateful we a got a title track with actual lyrics in the chrous for once.

album favs: pretty savage, lovesick girls

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 1 (album) this era was … a ride. nct 2020 happening was near inevitable but with covid it got pushed back so far, i started to believe it wasn’t even going to happen. i was semi-terrified of what was going to happen during a comeback with 21 (now 23!!) member group since i only experienced nct 127 comebacks so far and uhh … a LOT happened lmfao but let’s keep this about the album … i had no idea what was going to hit me. johnny having effectively 3 lines in nct 2018 did not give me much hope and after he got denoted to no line treatment in punch again, i was ready to not even have any expectation but this release changed everything. make no mistake that most of my favorite songs are units with johnny, we knew that was gonna happen lmaooo they dropped the teaser video for misfit and i thought i had my favorite song in the bag and then faded in my last song happened. y’all. JOHNNY SINGS? LIKE? ACTUALLY SINGS? DOESN’T GET FORCED TO RAP OR TALK-SING? MY MAN’S VOCALS??? OH MY GAAAAHD! this song is dramatic, theatrical, emo, it serves vocals and rap, it has catchy english and korean lyrics, this is THE song, the ULTIMATE song. i love this song so much, i want to belt it on top of my lungs in the pouring rain. apart from fimls, i also loveeee misfit, that was to be expected after i was going completely insane over the track video. johnny has like 3 lines but again they are iconic (WARNIN’! NCT WE MOBBIN’!) and i just enjoy the track too much to be upset over that. nectar. holy fuck. nectar!!!! wayv never disappoints with their thotty songs, they now have an absolute god tier hoe-ly song trinity with love talk > bad alive > nectar. the first chorus and hendery’s first verse (CHOP CHOP CHOP!) get me every time, this song is so insanely good i am severely upset i cannot sing along to it :( music, dance has nct 127 written all over it in bold letters, it’s so inherently 127’s sound!!!! i love this song so much, it’s so fun, upset and has massive dance-ability, i wish we had gotten a stage for it but i guess you can’t have everything in life </3 make a wish……………………………..the cursed unit. i don’t want to say anything about this except that, unfortunately, the song is fun and i enjoy it. the end. overall, this album is so insanely solid. i know i talk about my favorites A LOT but i genuinely do not dislike a single song on here, this is an absolute no skip album! that’s it. see you for resonance part 2!!!!!

album favs: FADED IN MY LAST SONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, misfit, nectar, music dance, make a wish

loona - 12:00 (mini album) controversial loona release 2.0! i don’t know what it is, but somehow they managed to lace the words di da dam di dam di dam dam dam dam di dam (yeah) with pure crack. i fucking love why not, i would even go as far to say it’s my 2nd favorite title track. that is right, i think it’s better than butterfly (btw: hi high > why not > butterfly > so what). so much was strange this comeback, from the inexplicable concept + teasers, the outfits, the styling (yves….i mourn your hot girl era) but the title track is just SO good, SO fun, SO catchy that i am willing to ignore it all. i also enjoy the b sides much more than on #, they are much more memorable to me. and now … HASEUL RETURN…………….i purely live to see the next loona comeback at this point

album favs: why not, voice, universe

twice - i can’t stop me (song) thank fuck twice released a good song this year. if more & more had been the only 2020 release, that would have been the real tragedy. not gonna lie, i still haven’t listened to the full album, it just keeps slipping my mind. but! i’m going to! until then i’m gonna bop to i can’t stop me.

ariana grande - positions (album) the way this album has people upset is so funny. i am a huge dangerous woman fan myself, it’s my fave ariana album to date but she has said repeatedly that this is not the sound she is striving for. now she has her coin and can do whatever she wants in music and if that is r’n’b then fuck! we have to live with it! lmao! i can live with the sex theme of the album because it’s delivered in a fun way? but it’s getting a bit old...if the next album is about riding dick only too idk how much i would enjoy that. i would probably always come back to ari because i like her voice so much but girl, there are other topics to sing about, i promise! anyway! i like this album, it’s one of those where i can hit shuffle and enjoy it in the background while doing other stuff.

album favs: positions, 34 + 35, love language, my hair, pov

tiny meat gang - sofia (song) ayyy, it’s my meat boys :’) ending the year the same way they started it, with a banger! i absolutely love the guitar instrumental, the melancholic love song type sound paired with the theme of singing about loving a robot … yup, that’s creativity and talent right here! this makes me so freaking desperate for a new ep and i genuinely have no idea how far or close we are to one but!!! i am always waiting!!!

noel - push (ep) this is something i absolutely did not expect. noel (of tiny meat gang!) released his first ep ever and i was absolutely wowed. noel has it all, the voice, the talent, the creativity and all it took him was the confidence to finally put something out and i’m so happy he did. he gets real personal on bus back, more than ever before and i always get a bit emo listening to this track </3 this man is gonna go places and i’m so happy to witness his journey.

album favs: crow, head sunk, bus back

honorary mentions: sam smith - diamonds

november

taemin - never gonna dance again act 2 (album) i’m gonna say it. idea is better than criminal. the chorus drop???? when he goes MY AH AH MY AH AH MY AH MY IDEA MY MY IDEAAAAAA A-A-A A-A-A???? bitch … tell me you can sit still, i won’t believe you. i like part 2’s title track more, but part 1’s b sides are more interesting to me. either way, taemin delivered as expected!!

album favs: idea, impressionable, exclusive

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 2 (album) part two, baby! we made it! part 2 had more mellow, ballad-y songs with my everything, i.o.u. and all about you, overall less drama than part 1 but i still enjoyed it. work it is one of those controversial songs where you despise it with your entire being or you defend this top tier noise till the end and i am absolutely the latter. the agony of not being able to listen to it and seeing the timeline so divided nearly killed me, but i have concluded that people who hate work it have never felt joy in their life <3 honestly my opinion cannot be counted because i eat up anything johnny participates in … biased ass… what i’m not gonna talk about is resonance (the song), this absolute mess of a “remix”. the audacity sm had to release this as a single is insane. anyway!! this era was a rollercoaster ride. all the interactions truly made me interested in members of other units more. hendery (the rise and fall …), yangyang my beautiful son, jeno aka blue hair guy, chenle the chaos kid and xiaojun after he made make a wish his bitch in particular! all the interactions between the units were so fun to witness and it was fun while it lasted but i am … so glad it’s over lol. i miss nct 127, i miss some peace, i hope the boys get to rest for a bit and so does my bank account.

album favs: work it, 90s love, i.o.u., raise the roof

miley cyrus - plastic hearts (album) not in a thousand years would i have expected a miley release to be on here. this girl does everything to be absolutely unlikeable in my eyes but after severely banging out to her heart of glass cover, i was really excited for this and it did not disappoint. what is disappointing is that it took her so long to find a sound that fits her like a glove. i believe many people miss out on this release after her previous history and i nearly would have done the same. this alt/rock influenced pop does her voice so many favors and i really hope she sticks to this direction, i love this album greatly!!

album favs: heart of glass, midnight sky, night crawling ft. billy joel, wtf do i know

kai - kai (mini album) just. imagine debuting with an album like that. lol. what a god tier big dick move. we all knew whatever this release was gonna be, above all it was going to be sexy and boy were we RIGHT!!!! mmmh is exactly as thotty as i needed it to be and the b sides give me everything from r’n’b to trap. i love this release and i love that it’s only the beginning of kai! like!! he is only gonna gain even more experience and become even more powerful!! what the fuck!!!!!

album favs: mmmh, ride or die, hello stranger, nothing on me

honorary mentions. gfriend - mago

december

nothing? wtf?? 😭 no interesting release happened,,,,half the time i listened to christmas songs anyway lol

pre 2020 releases i only found this year

mgmt - little dark age (album, 2018) & oracular spectactular (album, 2007) another tiktok serve. i found little dark age through a tiktok trend and ended up really liking mgmt. they fit perfectly into my autumn/winter moody alt/rock mood that i had going on and i’m happy they have so much more music that i can check out!

artist favs: little dark age, electric feel, time to pretend

tame impala - currents (album, 2015) everyone’s favorite basic alt bitch album! i enjoyed this more than the slow rush for a good chunk of time, it also fit right into my alt rock autumn mood. i really love this album, like previously mentioned it has my favorite long ass tracks on there but also a good amount of short or medium long tracks. i’m still busy enjoying currents and the slow rush but i can’t wait till i finally take the leap to dive into their other releases because i’m loving everything i’ve heard so far.

album favs: the less i know the better, let it happen, new person same old mistakes

joji - ballads 1 (2018) after liking nectar so much, checking joji out was a given and i just love this album. only when i listened to this i realized i heard slowly dancing in the dark a few times on tiktok lmao that cursed app man … i would say i love nectar a bit more but this is still a fantastic album!!

album favs: slowly dancing in the dark, attention, test drive, yeah right

jus2 - focus (mini album, 2019) in my “mellow moody bangers” phase i was scouring playlists for more songs and i think i found focus on me first which fitted right into the niche i was looking to fill and i ended up enjoy this whole release! only later i realized this is a sub-unit from got7 lmao how come i enjoy solo or unit releases by got7 members but their group discography never interested me? anyway, very sexy ep!

album favs: drunk on you, focus on me, love talk

knk - sunset (song, 2019) part of my mellow bangers playlist. very sexy, i can imagine this as a runway song! i have no idea who knk are but given the fact i enjoyed two of their songs so far maybe i should look into them lol

baekhyun - city lights (mini album, 2019) i am repenting for my sins of missing out on baekhyun releases by consuming his music at an exorbitant rate. un village is one hell of a title track that i didn’t appreciate before, but i feel like in 2020 my music interests started to vary and i love the groovy r’n’b and string sound of this song so much. i also love stay up to death, the vocals baekhyun serves here are unreal. his BABY WE CAN STAY UP!!!!!!! gets me every single time!!!! what a mini!

album favs: un village, stay up

mac miller - swimming (album, 2018) i’ve listened to this album before 2020 but i had the urge to put this on here. this is going to sound so corny, but if i had to pick one song to be my life’s title track, it would be ladders. the hope this song gives me is unreal, it feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. this album is so fantastic, i love the upbeat instrumentals paired with sometimes gloomy lyrics are so incredible, mac was truly one of the greatest artists of our time. this album is so outstanding and i miss him every day.

album favs: ladders, jet fuel, 2009, self care, perfecto

doja cat - hot pink (album, 2019) i can never decide if i like doja or not but the album slaps lol that’s it come on tiktok queen

album favs: say so, juicy, like that, streets

my fav 2020 playlists

slapping mellow

neo culture technology

malcolm

why go to therapy when this playlist exists?

top songs 2020

(by spotify)

#again a heads up: this was written in december 2020 and there are a few names mentioned here that....i want nothing to do with anymore lol #like h*ndery of gfr*end #but i'm not gonna delete them because at the time i enjoyed their releases and no one knew they were ignorant asswipes <3 #also not me thinking i'm gonna get vaccinated this summer LMFAOOOOOOO #i can consider myself lucky if i even get them this year #german government my detested <3 #about me

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queensdivas · 4 years

Text

Wildest Notes Chapter 3

Warning now.

We’re getting a little into Cora’s backstory in this chapter and it’s gonna be dark. I know this is supposed to be a cute story. But we’re here for back stories and this one I’ve been working on for a few days instead of writing a final paper.

Genius I know!

Also if you got access to a piano or a piano app. It’s gonna make sense soon.

Also also. We gotta move this story along because I know y’all want some adorable fluff for them.

Next Chapter

Masterlist

Previous Chapter

C’mon you stupid weed! JUST! GET! OUT! OF! THE! GROUND! Yanking the weed out of the ground as I tossed it across the yard! Got you ya beast! My goodness that was a big weed that did not want to get out! My eyes drifted down to my left ankle to where the scar was almost gone all these years later. Should probably go check on Angus and make sure he isn’t going through the pantry.

I stood up as I checked on Angus who was passed out underneath the branches of the white weeping cherry tree. The best thing about getting a big dog? It just loves to sleep around and be lazy which is absolutely perfect.

When I was about to sit back down in the dirt to try to get back to gardening. But the phone began ringing as I got up from my crouching stance to walk inside my home. Angus popped up from the ground to trot his way inside the house with me, over to the fluffy rug in the living room and plop on the floor. Join him as I sat down against the wall then picked up the phone.

“Cora speaking.”

“I’m assuming you adored the Elvis Presley China?” Mama Seymour!

“They look fantastic on the shelf Mama. So I’m assuming you sent them that this is the end?”

“Yup. One more kid was about to be sent off to their new home, and I’m off to Hawaii!!” She’s been waiting for this trip about...her entire life? She had this trip planned since I can remember, some big plan to visit all the hot spots Elvis lived in and went to.

“About time you went because if I had to sit through another Hawaiian/Elvis themed party I think I would’ve gone crazy.”

“You enjoyed those parties and you know it!”

“YOU PLAYED BEACH BOY BLUES FOR HOURS! YOU WORE DOWN YOUR BLUE HAWAII RECORD SO BADLY IT WOULDN’T PLAY!” She knows I’m joking. Partially. I kid you not that freakin’ record was destroyed after that party she threw for all of us.

“Ya know you could just send me back those beautiful pieces of China.” Funny real funny. The bottom of my overalls began showing again as I tried to fix my pants again.

“You’re a lot more quiet than usual.” She pointed out as I began staring at the windows in front of me.

“Sorry you caught me right in the middle of my gardening.”

“You sure? Ya know if you ever need a break please call me from my cell and I’ll drag you to Hawaii. Listen I gotta run because the parents are here for the last one! Goodbye Cora!”

“Bye..” Before I could finish saying bye she hung up her phone. Placing the phone back on the box as Angus was sitting right in front of me with his rope in his mouth. Guess that’s the cue for his walk, and the seed pods are being put on hold.

He let go the rope leash from his mouth as I clipped it to his collar. Grabbing my keys from the small end table to open the front door. Is this a coincidence or just the universe being nice for once? Gard was literally placing the ads in my mailbox as I was looking through the screen door.

“Hiya Gard!” He looked from the box as I shot him a smile.

“Mind if I walk with ya? Need a break from the soil and Angus obviously needs the exercise. Lazy bum.” I opened the screen door as he took a step back.

“I kind of a certain way of doing things..”

“Yeah yeah yeah. And the moon is made out of cheese Gard. You gotta spice it up a little in your life and me walking with you for a few blocks won’t kill you.” I opened the screen door to walk past him with Angus sticking right by my side. I heard him sigh as he walked past me to open the gate.

“Thank you!” I smiled as we walked through the gate down the sidewalk. He kept his vision right on the sidewalk as we were in an awkward silence.

“So Gard. How long have you been living here?” I asked him as he kept looking down at the sidewalk.

“My entire life. I live with my brother Calvin.” So a brother...cool.

“The folks? Retired to Florida?”

“My parents are a few hours away.” Probably down in San Francisco.

“San Francisco?”

“East. Cool. Lotta cool places out East.” East where? Wait who am I pry?

“What about you?”

“Ummm my father passed away a few months ago in San Diego. Moved here for the job obviously.” Angus went to pop a squat as Gard went up to the next house to drop off the mail. When he came back Angus was done as we continued on our walk.

His eyes were memorized by the pavement underneath his own two feet. My eyes went from Angus as I tried to figure out what about the sidewalk made it so interesting to stare at it. He noticed as I was tilting my head back and forth with my eyes squinting or wide open.

“What are you doing Cora?”

“Trying to figure out why you’ve been staring at this pavement the entire time we’ve been walking. Am I just not getting it?” I asked him as he stopped to face me.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“No. No honestly I’m not.” I crossed my heart as I formed a tiny little smile in the corner of his mouth.

“AH! I saw that Gard! So tell me what exactly do you think about while walking around the neighborhood? Sports? Kind of surprised that I’m not seeing headphones in.”

“Usually I’m so hypnotized by the mail or the sidewalk I don’t really think about it much. I’m not a big sports person and listening to music is definitely not allowed. So..I look at the sidewalk. It becomes..like a kaleidoscope. You turn and look at it differently, it can be anything you want.” I stopped walking as he reached into his bag and stuffed one of the mail boxes.

“Like what?” He closed the mailbox and went onto the next one.

“Just a different world.” More short answers. Ya know. Mama Seymour always told us that no matter how hard and long a man tries to become an island. He will never become one.

“Can I do one?”

“Do one what?”

“Deliver the mail? C’mon just one! The world isn’t going to blow up if I put a few pieces of paper into a mailbox.” He looked so damn annoyed at me. Gard looked up and down the street then reached into his bag and gave me a tiny stack of envelopes. Gard pointed to the box as I handed him the leash to Angus. Opening the mailbox to place the envelopes inside then closing the box.

“Gard I feel so changed. I can feel the rush!” Turning around as he approached me with Angus’ leash held up.

“My job is important, you know. People communicate because of me.” If this was about eighty years ago sure.

“Used to. Well unless you’re an old lady or nostalgic young adults who like getting fun things in the mail because they’re bored.” I laughed as he began walking away.

“Oh c’mon Gard it’s a joke! You should get yourself loose every once in a while. It’s good for the soul.” I caught up with him as he looked down at the pavement.

“If anyone asks, you’re my supervisor!”

“Well then as your supervisor your stance sometimes when delivering the mail is unhealthy for your back. Not to mention your hat isn’t straight.” Gard stopped dead in his tracks and was beginning to panic.

“Gard I’m just messin’. Wait hold on.” I tossed the lead down (I know Angus ain’t goin anywhere. He’s too old for that.) I reached up to fix his hat to make sure it was even. Gard was turning into a nervous mess as I finished fixing his hat. Once finished we looked at each other for a minute as he was a complete nervous wreck. Turning back towards the pavement with his head hung down again.

“Hey hey hey! You gotta be showing me the neighborhood! Who lives in that house?” I pointed at the house that had the really big red ford that had elevated tires. Ya know. A small penis kind of guy truck.

“Mr. Stotch. Owns the deli store in town and is a big American activist.” Now that I’m noticing it is the amount of American flags around the house and so much military propaganda!

“And that house?” Pointing to the house with the overgrown grass in the yard.

“Mrs. Sancton. Works as a night guard at a prison.” My eyes widened as I looked over at him.

“Wow. Thought this was your average neighborhood. You’ve got some dude who worships guns and just across the street is someone who guards cons. What a strange world.” I could tell Gardner was completely out of his comfort zone. Oh my god I can tell he’s just wanting to make a run for the hills with no looking back. So far he’s the only person that is relatively my age group so if this is how I have to make friends then I’m fine with it. But I do have to get back soon and take a nap then get ready for work.

“I can tell that you’re completely comfortable around me. I’m gonna get going’ and take a nap before work. Say bye Angus.” We stopped walking as Angus jumped up on Gard and over towered him. Angus licked his face to then stand back on his four legs.

“See ya tomorrow Mr. Mailman!” I waved as Angus and I began walking off.

A...A...B...B..A..A..B..B...A...A...B...B....D..F#...G..

A clash of thunder roared through the cave causing it to shake a little due to the fact that it was an unsturdy cave. The only place I could hide when he would drag me there was the outside of the hole.

It was either freezing or melting all the time, the cave with nothing comfortable in between. There’s always metal buckets in the cave catching all the water..each drop in the bucket played a different tone. It turned into the only comfort as father would be in the hole for hours to even some days.

A...A...B...B...A...A...B...B..A..A..B..B...D...F#....G…

He came out of the hole to drag me out of the cave to drag me to some sort of cheap food place for him to recover. I was always told he was making us money so that one day he would be able to move away..

But even I could see through his false promise..

One day we went to the cave and I was told to sit in the hole with my father. Said me being out in the hallway would be dangerous as if someone would kidnap me. But I wasn’t near my buckets to create the wave of peace over the sounds of horror coming from the different holes.

Some sounded like they were wrestling, screaming, the sound of glass breaking, and then it ended with a loud bang. The bang would sometimes ring out

A...A...B...B..A...A..B...B…...D..F#.................G..

“Come here you little sack of shit.” He came out screaming as I looked up from the ground. He yanked me into the room with a fistful of my hair.

“Please daddy no! No!”

“You piece of garbage!” Being dragged through the cave and into the hole...the dark pit..no. no no no..

My body felt like it dropped out of the sky as I felt my hand smack against the bed stand which woke me up. I gripped the bed sheets as tight as I could, bringing it up close to me for me to start trying to calm down. My right hand gripped my shoulder as I took a deep breath. It’s okay..it’s okay..it was a long time ago..it’s just fine Cora.

I crawled out of bed to see that it was pretty late in the morning and I have to get started on pulling the weeds and getting the front of the house put together before it supposedly rains tomorrow. Trying to make sure the plants get some good fresh rain so their roots can grow into the soil.

Changing into my overalls and tossing my hair up in an extremely lazy braid. Walking into the kitchen as I grabbed an apple to quickly chow down on it before starting the lawn work. Stopping in front of the piano as I looked down at the keys..I think..I think I need to play a little before doing some manual labor.

Opening the window of the music room as I could see the sun was hidden from the amount of clouds that were beginning to approach. Guess no manual labor today for me. AS soon as I walked away from the window the rain began to pour down. Yup. No manual labor.

Kneeling down in front of the shelving where a I had peach crates filled with all my piano music and sheets. it's been awhile since I’ve played some Nocturnes. No actually we need something a little more jolly this morning to help me get the right push to start the morning.

Well forget the nocturne because I’ve found the winner! Pulling out one old one I haven’t played in a while as I sat down on the bunch then cracked my fingers and warmed up my wrist. Today is a little Chopin and it’s Raindrop Prelude. Taking in a deep breath to then slowly release it as I started to play.

Mama Seymour taught me everything I needed to know on the piano. The chords, keys, which pedal went with each type of song. She always talked about how playing the piano is the only true form of expression because it can never be misinterpreted like paintings. Though I know that people try to take apart songs all the time because we always wanna know the truth behind the notes. She might have a few wires loose but I owe that woman almost everything in my life.

The world seemed to always just kind of fly off whenever I sit in front of the keys. My body now fully relaxed as I was reaching over halfway of the song when I heard the gate opening. I got the feeling I really made him uncomfortable and out of his mind yesterday, So me staying inside today may be in his best interest.

I kept going with my foot pushing down on the far right pedal to allow the song to echo throughout the entire house. Angus came walking into the room and laid down right next to the piano as he fell right back asleep.

The last chord echoed through the house as I turned myself around on the bench to step over Angus. Should probably see what bills or junk mail I got from Gard. When I opened the door Gard was standing under the porch from the rain.

“Gard? What are you doing?” I asked him as it was pouring.

“I’m sorry. I heard you playing and I wanted to stay till the end.” He was completely soaked from head to toe as I opened the door for him to come in.

“I should get back to work.” He was about to walk off but I cleared my throat.

“If you keep walking nonstop you’re gonna get sick.”

“You actually don’t get sick from walking in the rain, Cora. Besides..rain or shine...” He stopped talking due to the face I had my eyebrow raised at him. I moved out of the way as he came inside of the house.

“Let me get you a towel Gard.” I walked into the bathroom as I came back out with a fluffy towel. Gard dropped his bag and wrapped the towel around himself.

“Take off your shoes and socks so they can dry. Nothing is worse than wet feet in wet shoes.” I pointed over to the floor. He placed his mail bag next to the door then sat down to take off his shoes.

Gard finished taking off his shoes and I reached out for his wet socks. Relax when you live with about ten to twenty kids in your life you kind of get used to the smell of socks and other pieces of clothing.

“I’ll throw them in the dryer. Feel free to go into the pantry.”

*Gards P.O.V.*

Why is she so nice? What person is this nice to their mail carrier? Does she like me? I think I’m starting to like her. She’s this sweet fun woman who's now drying my socks off from the rain. Should probably go thank her for being so nice to me.

Angus walked over to be then sat between my legs as he was waiting for me to scratch behind his ears. As I got started he had his tongue sticking out and his eyes shut tight enjoying the scratches. Till he got tired and fell asleep right in the hall.

I got up from the floor as I walked into the room where she was playing the piano to look around a little. It was a piano that was sort of red and had music sheets all over the place. There were little cubbies that had music books, sheets, and folders strung all over the place. On the other side of the wall was piles of peach crates filled with records. We're talking Elton John, Puccini, Queen, Bowie, Glenn Miller, The Drifters, and all kinds of different records. Like there was no specific pattern or anything in them.

“You can look at them. They’re not going to bite.” She told me as she sat down in front of one of the crates. Sitting back down next to her as I was looking into one of the crates.

“Do you have a favorite artist?” I asked Cora as she watched me going through her records.

“Not say I have a select favorite. For rock I’d say Queen. For Disco obviously Earth, Wind and Fire. Dean Martin is always good and of course Benny Goodman also is fantastic. But of course The Temptations are amazing. I could go on for hours about it Gard. It’s just depending on my mood.” I nodded as I placed the peach crate back into the cubby as she got up towards the piano.

“But I’d rather play in all honesty.” Cora ran her light and ran across the piano keys as I got up to stand next to her.

“What was the one you were playing when I delivered your mail?”

“Raindrop Prelude by Chopin. But it’s not my favorite to be honest with you Gard. If you’d like I can play something for ya.” She masked me as I sat down on the bench. I’m not a huge music person in any form of way. But I find listening to her playing the piano relaxing and something I would enjoy listening to time and time again. Even taking a few minutes out of the route to listen to every other day or so.

“It’s Nocturno No2 op 62. It was my first piece I did for a solo concert in college but it’s just so beautiful. Scootch.” She sat down next to me as she was going through her folders of music.

“You’re gonna have to show me your hobbies and house eventually. Doesn’t make much sense if you’re constantly coming over and I know almost nothing about your hobbies.” She stated as my eyes widened a little bit. She placed the music on her stand as I tried to get a sense of what was written on it.

Would she be interested in my stamps? What person would enjoy someone talking about their stamps? Any normal person would be bored out of their minds with someone's stamp. But..if she’s inviting me into her room, offering food to me and drying my own socks from the rain. This isn’t a normal situation...and I have no idea what I’m doing.

Her playing was more beautiful than when she was sitting before me. She looked at the keys and how I looked at the sidewalk. Completely hypnotized in playing and in her own world. It was beautiful and so peaceful. My eyes went from her fingers to watch how lightly she played the keys to her body sort of swaying with her own beat to the music. She stopped playing as she looked over to the window where two birds were sitting on the window chirping to one another.

“Guess I’m freakin Cinderella now Gard.” Laughing a little as we looked at each other for a brief moment. I should get going anyhow. I know I’m already late and being here for a few minutes is now putting me way behind.

“I should umm..get going and finish my route.” I told Cora for her smile to sort of wither away till she nodded.

“Yeah totally. You’re at work and I shouldn’t have basically thrown myself at you. Give me a second to grab your socks.” Cora popped off the bench to speed walk down the stairs. I placed the towel on the ground as she came back up with my somewhat dryer socks.

Slipping on my socks and shoes to then grab my mailbag from the floor. Opening the door and standing on her porch as the rain was beginning to slow down a little. When I was about to take a step off the porch, Angus was whimpering behind me.

“You don’t have to say bye to me. But you know Angus needs a goodbye.” The slobbering dog was standing right next to her as I opened the screen to scratch the top of Angus head. Her hand had an apple for her to wait for me to take it.

“Thank you Cora. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked her as she smiled again..it’s..it’s such a pretty smile. I turned around to start walking.

“Your place?” Halting as I turned around.

“Ummm. I would...umm.”

“It’s alright. My door is always open Gard. See ya later Mr. Mailman!” She waved as her and Angus shut the door.

I wanna see her again tomorrow...maybe the next day?

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#gardner langway #Gardner #gardner x reader #Gardner Langway Fic #Gardner Langway x reader #Gard fan fic #Dear Sidewalk #Dear Sidewalk x reader #dear sidewalk fan fic #joe #joe mazzello #joe mazzello fic #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello x reader #fan fic #bohrap boy #da bohrap boy #Paige is a hoe #fuck paige

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rami-hoe · 4 years

Note

Hi, I really loved your Snafu story. Can I also request another one with Snafu? Maybe this time his s/o calls him crying that she fears for his safety and soon they meet and can’t keep their hands off of each other. This can start fluffy and end in smut;) thanks!

The day Merriell told you he was enlisting was the worst of your life

Despite all the propaganda, you knew how horrible war truly was

Hundreds of boys were leaving and never coming back, and you were terrified Merriell would be one of them

It doesn’t matter how tough you are when you’ve got a bullet flying towards you

Everyone was saying how admirable and brave it was

You wanted to think the same

You wanted to be able to smile, give him a hug at the train station, and tell him he was a true hero like all the other girls did

But you just couldn’t

The thought of him out in the field... you couldn’t take it anymore

You called him, tears in your eyes, and asked him to come over

He could tell something was wrong right away, but you don’t want to have this conversation over the phone

He’s at your house less than ten minutes after you hung up, out of breath and more than a little concerned

As soon as he steps through the door, you wrap your arms around him and say what you’ve been avoiding since he told you he was going off to war:

“I don’t want you to go, Mer. I want you to stay with me. I want you to be safe. Please don’t go- I can’t lose you. I can’t- you can’t die”

Merriell’s strong arms wrap around you, squeezing you to his chest while he strokes your hair

“Don’t say that, I’m not gon’ die.”

“You don’t know that. You’re going to a war zone, you don’t know what’s going to happen!”

He pulls back so he can look in your eyes

“I know I’m not gon’ die. know why? ‘Cause I’m promisin’ you that right now, and I don’t break my promises. After this is ova, I’m comin’ right home ta you.”

You wish you could stop the tears streaming down your face, but you can’t help it

You know you can’t stop him from going. He’s made up his mind and he’s not going to change it.

You reach up to cup his cheeks, wishing he could stay right here in front of you

You didn’t want to think that in only a few short days, you wouldn’t be able to hold him anymore

“Don’t ya worry about a thing. I’m gon’ be back here ‘fore you know it. Ya ain’t gettin’ rid a me that easy.”

“Don’t you do anything stupid out there. You hear me? No playing hero, you just focus on getting yourself home.”

“I will, baby. I will.”

Your fingers curl in his hair and you pull him into a kiss, pushing your body flush against his

If Merriell was leaving at the end of the week, you were sure as hell going to get as much of him as you could while he was here

The two of you stumble down the hall to your bedroom and Merriell kicks the door closed

You pull off your clothes in a hurry, not bothering with your usual buildup

No slow, sensual touches growing into something harder, more desperate

You were moving like you didn’t have a second to lose

As you fall onto the bed, Merriell yanks down his pants and you hike up your skirt

The moment your underwear is out of the way, you grab his hips and pull him into you

You both moan as his member enters you

He stills once he’s fully buried in your core, just enjoying the feeling of being inside you for a moment

But only for a moment

Neither of you can wait any longer than that

Your hips start moving, finding a rhythm after a few thrusts

Your thighs grip him, never letting him get too far away

His forehead rests on yours, and you hold eye contact as he fucks you

You don’t want to look away. You fight to keep your eyes open when he hits that sweet spot inside of you

Your fingers clasp at the back of his neck, trapping him there

Not that he would have moved away even if he could

He didn’t want even an inch of distance between you

He can’t stop himself from closing his eyes when he cums

But you keeps your open, watching

You push his damp hair away from his face, giving you a better view of that blissful expression

You memorized every inch of his face. His furrowed brows and parted lips, the utter ecstasy written in his skin.

You held onto that memory for the years he was gone

During those nights without him, the ones where you felt at your lowest, you would conjure that memory

Pleasure yourself thinking of him, cry out his name alone in the dark

You would remember the bliss on his face, and imagine the day he would come home and you could see it again

#Snafu Shelton #Merriell Shelton #smut #headcanons #Rami malek

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dailydj · 4 years

Text

A Wild Storm of Hatred

Tornadoes, like snow days and convenient street parking, are a bit of a foreign concept to us who live in Los Angeles. Sure, you might see a movie star at a cafe, or a blazing inferno thirty feet away while you drive down the freeway, but the thing closest to what we might call a “storm” is a sprinkling of rain that forces us to turn our windshield wipers to the fastest setting.

Storms were just another one of those things that I might see on the news, happening in other places, feeling concerned about for the sake of others, but otherwise not really being my problem. And that’s analogous to my experience with police brutality and racially rooted violence in America.

Not that racism is in any way invisible in this city. If I walk in any single direction from my apartment, I’ll pass through several adjacent neighborhoods of wildly fluctuating socioeconomic status, and I’d have to be blind to miss the correlation between race and chain-link fences, boarded up homes, or expressions of safety and contentment on people’s faces. The tangible effects of systemic racism are written plainly on any map of my city, in the ink of poverty, gentrification, and unjust zoning policies. But, these are just light rains compared to what’s going on in other cities.

I’m talking about murder, of course. Power being abused in service of fear, rooted in a belief that we just can’t seem to shake as a nation, that somehow the status of being human has been distributed based on skin color. This is the storm.

Psalm 55. For the choir director: A psalm of David, to be accompanied by stringed instruments.

I’ll be honest; reading through the book of Psalms is super, super boring. They’re nothing like the exciting stories of war and royal drama or mystical symbolic creation myths that precede it. But every once in a while, a psalm creates an image in my mind so vivid and impactful that I have to write about it.

1 Listen to my prayer, O God. Do not ignore my cry for help! 2 Please listen and answer me, for I am overwhelmed by my troubles. 3 My enemies shout at me, making loud and wicked threats. They bring trouble on me and angrily hunt me down.

This week, I was so stressed, and I wasn’t really sure why. My daily quarantine routine of waking up, eating breakfast, watching Community on Netflix and playing games on Steam, then going to sleep, hadn’t changed. But I had read an article online about a CNN reporter who had gotten arrested at a protest in Minneapolis, just for being a bystander while black. The live television feed from the camera, lying on the ground, while the police led the reporter and his crew away, left a chilling impression. Something in the wall between my relative safety and the rest of the world started to crack, as wind and rain beat against it from the other side.

4 My heart pounds in my chest. The terror of death assaults me. 5 Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking. 6 Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest!

What would I do if I was there? What if I was that Asian cop, standing by while his fellow officer choked the life out of another man? What if history had played out just a little differently, or I was born just a few decades earlier in this country, when my people and I were regularly subjected to violence from powerful groups fueled by racism?

I don’t know. I would be so afraid. I don’t know if I would stay and fight for justice, or if

7 I would fly far away to the quiet of the wilderness. (Interlude) 8 How quickly I would escape— far from this wild storm of hatred.

Sometimes, I just feel so angry. I feel like the evil of racism is just too great for any of us to do anything about it, and I feel powerless and weak and prone to despair. Why doesn’t God just

9 Confuse them, Lord, and frustrate their plans, for I see violence and conflict in the city. 10 Its walls are patrolled day and night against invaders, but the real danger is wickedness within the city.

The virus is attacking us from outside, corruption and division are tearing us apart from within, and sometimes it feels like

11 Everything is falling apart; threats and cheating are rampant in the streets.

12 It is not an enemy who taunts me— I could bear that.

No, how much better it would be if all the racists wore white hoods and name tags that clearly stated their philosophical position of which kinds of people deserve to live or die.

It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me— I could have hidden from them.

I might be able to stand my ground and fight, then, if I knew with such certainty that I was on the right side, that I was fighting for the side of good with all the good people and no one I loved would be caught up in the cross-fire, but

13 Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend. 14 What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.

Everywhere on social media, they’re saying that if you side against the protesters, that if you tell them not to protest in the way they’re protesting, you’re just silencing their voices in the same way that cop silenced George Floyd’s. How do I respond, then, to the people that I know are good people who hate violence and want peace but maybe, just maybe, wouldn’t be so quick to advocate for peace if it was a white person killed, instead lauding the sacrifices necessary in war when fighting against a great evil? And what do I do when I find some of that in myself, too?

15 Let death stalk my enemies; let the grave swallow them alive, for evil makes its home within them.

16 But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. 17 Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice. 18 He ransoms me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, though many still oppose me. 19 God, who has ruled forever, will hear me and humble them. (Interlude) For my enemies refuse to change their ways; they do not fear God.

20 As for my companion, he betrayed his friends; he broke his promises. 21 His words are as smooth as butter, but in his heart is war. His words are as soothing as lotion, but underneath are daggers!

22 Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.

I guess I’ve been thinking a lot about what justice is and what it means. Sometimes, it seems so clear-cut. Be kind to homeless people, take care of those who have been treated unjustly, work to fix the systems that are broken. Other times, there are more questions. Will violence ultimately set back our fight for justice, or is it necessary to respond proportionately to injustice? Do we hold strictly to nonviolent moral ideals, or does tragedy inevitably beget tragedy?

But beneath all the questions, I think it’s much simpler. I’m afraid, when the National Guard shows up right outside my apartment building, and it slowly dawns on me just how powerful the enemy is that we’re fighting against. How can we possibly win a fight against a racist president who commands the world’s most powerful military, against a whole country of white people who’ve internalized their own superiority, whether conscious or not, against my own people who’ve been co-opted to believe they’ve won a spot among the conquerors? How can we win against an enemy that confuses truth by spreading propaganda, weaponizing Scripture, all while crooning a siren song of personal safety, complacency, and comfort? Every argument and counter-argument, every opinion and piece of information and angle to consider it from, I need to sort through to separate truth from lies, all while knowing that there are people dying because evil is winning, and I could be next.

23 But you, O God, will send the wicked down to the pit of destruction. Murderers and liars will die young, but I am trusting you to save me.

#intp #christianity #justice for floyd

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headoverhiddles · 4 years

Text

Grotesk Burlesk - Hans Landa x Marilyn Manson [Smut]

Synopsis: Colonel Landa finds himself a fish out of water as a patron at a racy club in Berlin, but his affections are stolen by a tall, dark and mysterious performer who is more than meets the eye. This fic is also available on ao3!

Notes: Special thanks to @ninavantastisch for saving me with the German translation!

This is the song performed in this fic, and this is the style in which it is performed. Give it a watch/listen before you read. Also, warning for mild period-typical homophobia and accidental misgendering!

Tagging: @blueinkblot @daughterofdesire @wingsy-keeper-of-songs (and @skin-slave you might like this!)

Everything had been getting on Landa's nerves. The job, his subordinates making even the slightest mistake. He was on edge, moody, and short-- this is how he came to visit Das Haus des Gold during his time off, a nightclub not typically frequented by those of his social standing.

"Schöner Laden," (Lovely place) Lt. Schmidt observed, as his fellow lieutenant grinned widely at a passing waitress dressed in a black corset.

"Ein bisschen klein aber in Ordnung," (A little small, but alright) Captain Von Wolff nodded, narrowing his eyes, and turned to Hans. "Wenn es Ihnen nicht zusagt, Oberst dann können wir auch woanders hingehen." (If this does not please you, colonel, we can find another place.)

“Ich denke es ist schon in Ordnung,” (I think it is alright) Lt. Orlock said, still watching the young lady in black, and earned a quick smack to the back of the head from Von Wolff.

Hans thought about this. It was obviously not an establishment he would have picked out. It was filled with dada-esque low art, which would normally disgust him. Still. Was this such a bad thing? Art is to be appreciated in any form, and Landa knew that better than any in his company, being a man of culture himself. Furthermore, it was to be expected of every member of the army that they, in their recreation, find something on the side to amuse them, keep them in good spirits. But Hans, he could hardly bear the idea of getting too chummy with his fellow officers in a place like this. He was an authority figure to be feared, not "one of the men".

That really wasn’t any reason to turn down a nice night on the town, however. It was better than another night of interrogation of those dim-witted enough to believe they could outsmart him.

Von Wolff took Landa's silence as apprehension, and began to back them away to the door. "Ich hätte Schmidt nicht die Planung, für diesen Abend, überlassen sollen…" (I shouldn't have let Schmidt plan this night...)

"Nein," Hans put up a hand with a small smile, "Nein. Es ist ein schönes Établissement." (No, no. It is a fine establishment.)

“Aber, Colonel Landa—”

“Das klingt schrecklich nach einem Kapitän, der die Entscheidung seines Vorgesetzten in Frage stellt. Oder bin ich nur empfindlich?” (This sounds an awful lot like a captain questioning his superior's decision. Or am I just sensitive?)

“…Nein, Herr Colonel. Natürlich nicht.” (No, Colonel. Of course not.)

The three entered the nightclub, and were seated.

A young blonde lady in a small black dress came over. Landa could see her garter belt, and gave her a once over.

"Was kann ich Ihnen bringen?" (What can I get for you?)

"Nur ein schönes, kaltes Glass Milch für mich. Danke." Hans smiled warmly at her. (Just a nice cold glass of milk for me, thanks.) If she was at all confused over his order, she didn’t show it, as the rest of the men ordered tall beers. She departed to promptly to fill their orders.

"Die Damen hier sind reizend," Landa commented. (The women here are lovely.) Just then, the black curtains drew, and the lights dimmed. Two girls shimmied out onstage, bound together as Siamese twins by a stitched up straight jacket. Interesting visual display. They started to play piano, a dark, sexy melody, and a tall figure came out.

She was dressed in heels, long smooth legs running up to black pantyhose and a small black dress covering what could not be left to the imagination. She had a bowler hat down over her eyes, but her lips were luscious and deep red, contrasting against her vampirically pale skin. Strands of short black hair protruded from beneath the hat as she reached up with fingerless gloved hands to move the hat up. Long faux eyelashes were revealed, as they barely dusted the crystals that adorned her cheeks. She lifted her chin, and with a sultry little spin, began to sing.

"Well our monkeys have monkeys, we drive our death crushed diamond jaguar limousine... we're not fantastic mother-fuckers, but we play them on TV..."

Hans was lost in the sway of her hips, her deeper-than-most voice, and the provocative movements of her body. She came to the front of the stage, saluting while parting her long, slender legs. "It's a dirty word, 'Reich', say... what you like, it's a dirty word, 'Reich', say... what you like." She winked the officers' way with that line after noticing their uniforms, and launched into a chorus that was just as sexy.

"We're the low art gloominati, and we... aim to depress... the scab-aret sacrilegends, this is the golden age of grotesque..."

She got up on a platform of sorts, and began to grind her hips against the microphone stand, something that got a considerable rise out of the crowd.

"I got the jigger to make all you bigger, ladies und gentlemen... so drop your piss room bait and make sure you're not late you tramps and lunatics." She held up a finger gun to her forehead, and licked her red lips as she looked directly at Hans.

"Cause the trick... 'sgonna make you.... click."

Landa readjusted in his seat, hoping his men couldn’t see how affected by the performance he really was. This performer was absolutely beautiful. Oh, what those red lips could do around him. Where those slender fingers could touch. This was true art, no doubt in Landa's mind, not Goebbels' drivel propaganda he peddles to the Fuehrer for praise. Landa may be an officer, but he wasn’t blind. This singer could enthrall the entire country with a look alone.

"We sing la, la la la... la la la, we sing la la la la la." The dark haired beauty smirked, tipping that bowler hat back. "La, la la la... la la la, we sing la la la, la la..." She finished off her song with a little bow, and a kiss blown out to the audience. Landa toiled during her next number, a song she introduced as Doll Dagga Buzz Buzz Ziggety Zag. Watching her dance, he narrowed his eyes. There's something about that performer he couldn’t shake. Something different, something... secret. And make no mistake, there was no better man in the country at detecting secrets than Hans Landa. He sat, frozen in reverie as she went on to her third and final song, something about a mobscene.

"Sie ist unglaublich!” (She's incredible!) Schmidt whispered, “Tiefe Stimme, aber.... wunderschön.” (Low voice, but… beautiful.)

Hans wondered what it could be that he was picking up on with this singer. Usually he was better at figuring out what people are hiding. It could just be the fact that one of her eyes was white, while the other was dark… that could be throwing him off.

Interrupting his contemplation a few minutes later, the music picked up a little to a raunchy jazz number, as a curvy, radiant black haired beauty came strutting onstage in a glittery dress and top hat. She winked at the crowd as she shrugged off her feather boa to the music, and began to unzip her dress from behind.

"Was für eine Art von Club ist das hier, Schmidt?” (What kind of club is this, Schmidt?) Von Wolff demanded, though he was unable to take his eyes off the stage.

"Meine liebste Art!” (My favourite kind!) Orlock answered for him, clapping for the girl and laughing. Though this one was beautiful too, Landa simply could not get the mystery and allure of the last performer's eyes out of his mind. As the brunette began to strip, Hans excused himself from his officers, and slipped backstage. He searched around for a moment, then found who he was looking for. The captivating singer from the stage.

"Guten abend, schöne Fraulein."

"I don't speak German," the performer said, taking down one of the stockings on a long, pale leg, "My songs back there were in English, in case you didn't notice."

Hans adjusted his speech accordingly. "Your music still, is very much influenced by German culture, is it not?"

The singer began to lift up the little dress past their undergarments. "Yeah. You're right about that."

"So. An American out of his comfort zone."

And a man, so it would seem. So that's what they were hiding. Hans' gaze lingered for more than a few seconds.

"I wouldn't say I'm out of my comfort zone," the crossdresser tilted his head, "I've got you in the palm of my hand in a small dressing room, small enough for me to either suck your cock or stab you with my hairpin. If I stabbed you, I could go home a war hero." He reached down to unlace his g-string, then looked up, raising his shaved eyebrows. "Mind if I readjust my crotch?"

Hans smiled slightly at the man's blunt language, finding it refreshing. He held up a hand to show he did not mind, and steered the conversation back. "What is stopping you from using... what did you say? A hairpin, to murder me?" Hans smiled. He was rather enjoying this man already. The performer pursed his painted lips.

"I don't get involved in wars. I just do what I do best. Drink expensive absinthe, look pretty, and perform."

"You do certainly do the last two well, yes," Landa nodded, "Do you have any proof of the first point?"

Manson smirked, realizing what the man was asking. He reached behind his vanity, and pulled out a thin bottle. He took two glasses, pouring a bit in each.

“What is your name?”

“…Marilyn.”

“It’s a beautiful name. Is it your real one?”

“Nothing in this world is for real.” He pulled out some distilled water, and added that to both glasses, watching the liquid go a milky green. "Here. Sorry, no sugar spoons around."

"Oh, I prefer to drink milk, thank you."

"You went through all the effort of finding me backstage. Now you have to drink what I drink."

Landa reluctantly accepted the offer, mainly because he was a curious man by nature, but also because the man offering it to him was ridiculously good looking. "Hm. Very well. Do you mind at all if I smoke, to enjoy the drink with it?" Landa asked.

"Go ahead."

Landa lit up a German cigarette, offering one to Marilyn, who declined. Then Landa takes a sip, and marvels at how strong the drink is. Odd flavours dance across his taste buds, and he feels his head begin to swim almost immediately.

"It's different from being drunk," Marilyn commented, cutting through the haze as he took the generous sip of a seasoned drinker, "It's like you can lose your body, but not your mind."

"I see what you mean," Landa nodded, rubbing his chest, "Exquisite taste, however. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it."

Marilyn took another sip. "It's alright. You can say it tastes like herbal acid. It only tastes good when it's pretty much all you drink." He gestured to himself. Hans chuckled, set his drink aside, and carefully cleared some makeup off of a stool. "Eh, may I sit down?" The performer nodded, and stared for a second at the curiously benevolent officer.

"…You don't care that I'm a man, huh?"

Hans mulled this over. "I will not lie, it did surprise me. But then, why should I care?" he shrugged, straightening out his uniform, "You put on a beautiful performance, and you are a beautiful person. There is no reason to shy away from that fact."

"You liked the show?" Marilyn asked, not immune to a little praise.

"It was magnificent. You took my breath away." The man didn’t let the officer see his smile-- he turned away to finish taking down his other stocking.

"I only ask, cause... a lot of men like you see my show, get all hot and bothered, come back here like you did expecting a nice happy ending, then they blame me for seducing them when they find out I'm not the pretty little German woman of their dreams. Makeup only covers up so many black eyes, so I've started warning people before they, uh... bunch up my skirt."

His smile was joking, but his eyes conveyed a weariness only someone as sharp as Hans could detect.

"I'm not complaining, but… why do you continue to perform then?" the German asked softly. "Your performance is art, and so are you. You should be treated as such."

"Yeah, well contrary to popular belief, I don't perform to fuck people," Marilyn said, an undertone of sarcasm present, "I actually do enjoy the art of getting up onstage and putting on a show that'll get people talking. Make people think about how they respond to my art. Fucking attractive people is just a bonus." He undid his corset in front of the mirror.

"Here. Allow me to assist you," Landa said, and put out his cigarette before getting up. He was shorter than the performer, but their eyes still met in the mirror as Landa unlaced the contraption one whalebone hook by one, slowly, deliberately down his back. Shivers ran down Marilyn’s spine, the officer's gaze penetrating. Landa's finger grazed down Marilyn's back, down and up again to unlace the final hook.

A bubbly brunette strode in from the stage. She was the charming burlesque dancer who had gone on after Marilyn.

"You were fantastic," she said, leaning in. She was topless from her striptease—Hans admired the freedom of it all, a breath of fresh air from the stuffy officer’s life he led. It was like being in a whole different world, the exciting underbelly of the artist’s hideout. She and Marilyn shared a European kiss on both cheeks, and she tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. He smiled.

"So were you, Dita."

"Gotta run, honey. I see you're indisposed, anyway." She shot off a wink, waving playfully at Hans, and hurried off to her own dressing room, breasts bouncing with every poised step.

"She is charming," Landa commented, shaking his head. "She is American too?" Manson looked back to him, suspicious of the question. He didn't give a fuck about himself, but when it came to the people close to him... Landa smirked. "I am not in the business of turning over American burlesque dancers to the Fuhrer. I am simply curious."

For whatever reason, Manson believed him.

"Dita and I came here to Berlin from Los Angeles to perform. We brought along a couple others to support our shows. We felt like we belonged here more than we did there, with all the uptight, patriotic isolationist nonsense in America." He changed the subject. "You wanna give me your name too, or is that breaching German military code?"

"Colonel Hans Landa, of the SS."

"Colonel," Marilyn nodded, "I'm impressed." He did not seem impressed. Landa gave him a look of amusement.

"Would you rather I be a general?"

Manson sighs, sucking in his cheekbones and powdering his face with a large fluffy powder puff. "I'd rather you be pulling my hair and shouting whatever the f word is in German repeatedly, but wishful thinking gets me nowhere. Especially not with some SS colonel who had the audacity to drop into my boudoir." Landa raised his eyebrows. Watching the performer's graceful limbs and trailing his gaze down to admire the black lace contrasting against Marilyn's backside, Landa started to work the night out in his mind, examining how this could look from all angles. In order to keep his credibility (and his reputation) he'd need to think up an elaborate story that would get the both of them to a spot safe to carry out any fantasies that begged to be indulged. He had to convince Marilyn of it too—he couldn’t risk any slip ups.

"I have the authority to go anywhere I like in this country," he said, smile still on his face but quickly contorting into something ominous, "I hope you know that, my pretty American." Marilyn hesitated, picking up on the sudden shift in the mood, but thought nothing of it as he continued to undress. "I must confess, I have not been entirely truthful with you tonight," Hans went on, folding his hands in his lap. Marilyn tucked his hair behind his ears, inspecting his reflection.

"No? You gonna tell me you're a woman?"

Despite himself, Landa chuckled. "That situation would make for a good stage play, would it not?" His smile slowly ebbed away, as he replaced it with a cold gaze of sinister intent. "Do you know what they call me?"

"I can't say that I do."

"They call me the Jew Hunter."

"I'm not Jewish."

"No. But you are American. An allied country, and an enemy of the state. What you have told me here tonight, and the simple fact of you being a crossdresser by profession, gives me the authority to take you and keep you in holding until your identity has been confirmed by the embassy of the United States of America." At this, Marilyn turned around sharply, dropping his red lipstick with a clatter. "Ah," Landa put up a hand, "There's nowhere for you to go but with me, unless you wish to be shot down like a dog in the street."

Marilyn tried to escape anyway, dodging past him in an attempt to warn the others. Landa however, was too fast. He grabbed the taller by the bicep, and dragged him in with strength unbefitting of a man of his physicality.

"If you run or make any noise at all, I will have the lovely Miss Von Teese kept here as not only a prisoner of war, but a comfort girl. How would she like to strip for the Fuhrer? Hm?"

Manson ripped his arm away as he realized there was no way out of this, snarling. "Fuckin' bastard."

Landa's mouth twitched up. "If you'll be a good boy and cooperate, we can do this the easy way, without a scene." He leaned in. "Remember. What is it you said on stage? Be obscene... not heard."

Marilyn resisted the urge to growl again, and let Landa lead him out from backstage. Dita was busy in her own area, and none of the other performers took his departure on a stranger’s arm as particularly out of the ordinary. Tim Sköld, a Swedish man Marilyn had met in America who had followed his company out here, watched after him lazily, grazing the arm of one of the Siamese twins who was currently staining kisses all over his face.

“There he goes again,” Tim murmured, and took one of her fingers into his mouth.

Landa approached his men again, who were now about three drinks in and having a good old time at the table.

"Ah, Landa!" Orlock laughed, red in his puffy face from too much schnapps, "Da sind Sie ja wieder! Sie haben es verpasst-- Schmidt, der verdammte Narr, hat die Bardame zum Wetttrinken herausgefordert. Hat gesagt, wenn sie verliert, dann zeigt sie ihm ihre großen Brüste! Natürlich hat er--” (Rejoined us at long last! You missed it-- Schmidt, the damned fool, challenged the pretty barmaid to a drinking contest, said if she lost, she'd have to show her big tits! Of course he--)

"Wer ist das, Landa?” (Who is this, Landa?) Von Wolff asked, cutting in with a stern glare.

"Don't you recognize our costumed friend?" Landa asked in English. Marilyn looked up with a sneer, and the other men noticed his lipstick, his clip on earrings, and the sultry shadowed eyes all three of them were unabashedly admiring an hour ago.

"Sie war ein Mann?!” (She was a man?!) Von Wolff growled, “Schmidt, du Narr! Du hast uns in einen entarteten Club gebracht!” (Schmidt, you fool! You brought us to a degenerate club!) Schmidt looked notably sheepish, which made Landa question why he hadn’t clued into the young lieutenant’s predilections sooner; no matter now. Lt. Orlock got up, fist at the ready. Marilyn for his part, didn’t shy away.

"Yeah? You wanna fight me, you pieces of shit?" he blurted, breaking free of Landa's grasp for a moment, "Come on. Come on! Why don’t you teach me what it's like to be a man?!" Landa put a stop to Marilyn's antagonistic behavior by grabbing his arm again, tighter this time.

"And the queer is American," Von Wolff mentioned in English, giving Marilyn the dirtiest look.

“That’s me, everyone’s favorite American slut,” Marilyn sighed. Orlock threatened to punch him again, so Marilyn spat in his face. This had the same effect as waving a red flag in front of a bull.

“Ah ah,” Von Wolff growled, holding Orlock back. “He will get what he deserves behind bars, Lieutenant. He is a person of interest, especially having broken the law in such a… repulsive, lewd manner.”

“I think it’s repulsive and lewd how you’re gonna jerk off later thinking of my ass,” Marilyn mouthed off, and Landa yanked his arm roughly in warning.

"No doubt he is of interest to us," Landa nodded slightly, "I could tell instantly the moment he stepped onstage."

"Bullshit," Marilyn snapped, and that finally earned him a hard slap across the face from Landa. The colonel kept his expression hard, but cringed a little inwardly. He didn't mean to hit the younger man that hard. Marilyn though, shut his mouth, the sting of the slap sending a wave of arousal through him. Perfect. Now he had an inappropriate erection to deal with in his lacy little panties, on top of being taken to see goddamn Adolf Hitler over a little drag performance. Let's go to Germany, Dita said. It'll be fun, she said.

“Und wieder einmal,” (Once again) Von Wolff said, bowing his head, “Ihr Talent Dinge zu erkennen sucht seinesgleichen, Herr Oberst Landa. Ich werde ihnen versichern dass in weniger als fünf Minuten ein Wagen bereit steht und sich um dieses Schwein kümmert.” (Your talents of detection are unmatched, Herr Colonel Landa. I will ensure an automobile for you in less than five minutes to take care of this swine.)

Landa nodded, and escorted Marilyn outside. He kept a firm grip on the performer's arm, and prompted him to get into the car first. Landa then closed the door, keeping his expression calm. They were driven to Landa's private residence in the automobile, the place where he conducted some of his higher profile interrogations.

On his side of the car, Marilyn was mentally kicking himself over being so goddamn naïve. Years of experience, and he still hadn’t learned that not every man or woman that throws a compliment or two his way and seems like the sweetest thing to walk the earth was trustworthy. Maybe he had had too many unrequited affairs—unrequited in the end, that is. He gave affection-starved a whole new meaning… but affection wasn’t all he wanted in this case. Being this close to the Colonel was warming him up... he recalled the gaze he met in the mirror, what was behind it. It was as if the Colonel had been undressing him with his eyes. Could that really have all been an act after all to lure him in? If so, this Landa guy was very good at what he did.

“So. You believe in your cause here?”

“I thought you didn’t like to get political.”

“Well I just figured, before you kill me, I wanna know that it means something to you.”

Landa looked out the window of the car. “I am a part of this organization by uniform only. I am an opportunist. Not a fascist slave.”

“Huh. You sound more like an American than I do.”

The decoration of the old mansion was ornate, beautiful, and Marilyn tried not to get too distracted by it all. At last, Landa followed him in and shut the front door, the two protected by the privacy of his own home. "You can rest easy. I am not holding you prisoner, or murdering you."

"Then why the fuck did you kidnap me?!" Marilyn demanded, rubbing his arm where Landa had had it in a death grip.

"Don’t be so dramatic. I did not kidnap you, I merely removed you from our primary location. Do not forget, I still have jurisdiction in this region to select anyone whom I deem to be an enemy of the state in hiding, to question them and to kill them at my bidding."

Marilyn huffed. "You really want to kill me?"

"No. I do not want to kill you."

“Nah, you wanna fuck me first.”

“Will you learn to speak with better etiquette?”

“Just because I say fuck, doesn’t mean I don’t have better etiquette than you. You’re actually the first man I’ve met in a long time I can carry on an intelligent conversation with.”

Hans considers this. “Your intellect is prominent, I will admit.”

“The only difference between you and me is a little lipstick, and the fact that I say what I mean.” Marilyn strutted in to tug Hans’ tie. “I’d like to get my lipstick all over you, though.”

Hans tugged his tie loose, swallowing. “Red was never my colour.”

“It will be tonight.”

“Scheisse…”

Marilyn looked down and inspected his nails. "Anyway. I don't know why your friends were all so shocked to see I was a man," he muttered, "You military guys might wanna check the part of town they’re spending your evenings in next time you go out and decide to have a good time kidnapping performers for the glory of the state."

“Watch your tongue.”

“You watch my tongue, it’ll be all over your body in a second.”

Hans got pinker in the face. "I've told you, this is not kidnapping, and that was all a show that was necessary to move locations," he sighed, locking his door.

"You couldn't have just fucked me there, in my dressing room?"

"Of course not, it was an open dressing room, there was no door! I will not risk my reputation for that, good god."

"Awww... I'm not worth it?" Marilyn asked, and Landa clenched his jaw.

"Do not push your luck."

"I've already done that, Herr Colonel."

Landa was affected the name, and melted into the touch as Marilyn started to undo his pants, getting between his legs. The same fantasies from earlier swirled in Landa's head, imagining the taller man’s red lips closing around his cock. This fantasy would evidently come true. Marilyn dropped to his knees, and finally got him out of his pants. His false eyelashes blinked up, and he gave the head a kitten lick, before obscenely taking the whole thing to the back of his throat.

"Oh, meine liebe, you have a talent..."

"Keep talking."

He went back down on Hans, his tongue working magic on the Colonel. Hans admired him. "Look at how beautiful you are... you are gorgeous."

"If I run my mouth about it, I gotta have the goods to back it up." Marilyn grinned and hollowed out his cheeks, moaning a little and getting off on being used. “Slap me?”

“For what?”

“I like it. Like you did earlier, slap me in the face while you’re face fucking me.” Landa bit his lip, and Marilyn looked up, fire burning in those mismatched eyes. “Did I stutter? Now!” The slap was sharp, and echoed in the large house. Marilyn went even faster on Landa’s dick, his pale cheek immediately taking on the pink imprint of Landa’s hand. “Again.”

Another slap hit him, and Marilyn licked back to Landa’s balls, grazing his perineum and making the German hiss. After a second, he started to feel Landa throb, and popped off, standing up. Marilyn put a slender hand on his arm. He then leaned in, and connected their lips in a chaste kiss, gently working a little deeper until Landa's mouth was open and gasping. Marilyn pulled back, smirking down at him. "My lipstick looks good on you after all."

Landa ran his tongue along his bottom lip, and felt his cock throb. He didn’t want to ask it...

"What's on your mind?" Marilyn asked, voice soft and smooth as the green velvet cabriole he was lowering Hans onto. "Never slept with a man?"

"No," Landa said, "I have." They continued to kiss heatedly, and Marilyn wandered his hand down between the two, pressing on Landa's erection. When he snapped his hips down in a purely instinctual thrust, Landa dropped his head back, mouth falling open.

"You want me inside you," Marilyn realized, trailing his fingers down Landa's heaving chest. "Don't you? Hm? You wanna feel my big cock pounding your ass, don't you, you dirty motherfucker?"

"Ah, scheisse," Landa muttered again, and reached down to touch his aching erection. Marilyn slapped his hand away, and replaced it with his own.

"Nuh uh. That’s all mine." Marilyn stood, smirking. “This what you want?” Hans lay back against the couch cushions, eyes hooded as Marilyn snapped the fabric of his panties against that porcelain skin. “You want this cock, pretty boy?” He teased his thinly veiled erection in Landa’s face, rubbing himself slowly through the black lace. Landa wanted to reach out and touch it, but Marilyn danced his hips away every time he did. “Is this what you want me to do to you…?” Marilyn turned, as if giving Landa his own private strip show, and slid two fingers between his asscheeks, moaning a little as he played with his entrance for a second. “You want me to play with your hole like this, Herr Colonel? You want me to---ohhh--- touch you like this, fuck you like this?”

Landa could barely breathe. The sound of the taller man’s voice alone did things to him that no other had before. Marilyn turned back around to lightly bump his cock against the German man’s face, grinding it so close to his lips, daring him to try and touch. When the performer was good and satisfied with how well he had trained Landa, he smugly relented, crawling back between his legs.

Landa watched the man on top of him, watched his long lashes blink, his crimson lips part to make way for his tongue to swipe. He really was beautiful.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Marilyn whispered against his skin as he leaned in again, echoing Landa's unspoken sentiments, "I'm gonna wreck this body so hard." Landa let out a strangled moan, and Marilyn looked around. "Please say you have something I can lube up with. I have two morals. One, never make music that confuses strippers like me, and two, never go into a guy dry—the blood is impossible to get out of lingerie."

"The oil is over there."

"Mm." He grabbed the oil, and started to gently prepare Landa, watching him writhe. "You finger yourself often, Colonel? You get the girls you bring back here to fuck you with their fingers? Big strap-ons? Do they go running their mouths all over the place, telling everyone how Hans Landa the cockslut likes taking it up the ass?"

Landa couldn’t respond... he could only clench his jaw. Marilyn jerked his cock a few times, and used the oil to cover himself generously. He then turned Landa over onto his stomach, giving his ass a good smack before sinking into him.

"Take this dick, Landa," Marilyn growled, "You're a powerful man out there. But in here you're my little bitch, aren't you?"

"Oh," Landa moaned. He was already approaching his orgasm, golden hair matted to his forehead and lips pink and stained.

"Close already? Huh? Imagine if you were fucking me. Hm? You'd leave me hard, wouldn't you? You'd just cum in my ass right now, wouldn’t you?"

"I- I can't..."

"Useless. You're fucking pathetic, you can't even last five minutes."

Landa gasped, trying to contain his moans. He never mentioned anything about humiliation being something he was aroused by in bed, but Marilyn was right—intuition is a part of being good at this, and Marilyn was good at this.

“I’m…” Landa couldn’t finish his sentence. He stifled his next groan in his arm, breath hitching.

"Nah ah. I want you to moan like every bit of the slut you are. COME ON, let me heat it! I want all of Germany to know it.” Marilyn’s voice rose until he was practically screaming himself hoarse, tugging Landa’s hair back roughly. “I want the whole fucking world to know it, goddamnit, let me hear you!"

"Scheisse, scheisse, bitte!" Landa cried, feeling himself tip over the edge. With his brutal pace, the performer hit his prostate, and Hans finally came in Marilyn’s fist. Marilyn waited for him to finish, then pulled out, jerking off onto him with his fist a blur. Hans felt Marilyn's cum paint his back, and bit his fist. The performer then sat back on his heels, wiping his brow.

"All you military men have great asses."

Landa, regaining his usual confidence with his breath, scoffs at this. "And how would you know this beyond your experience with me?"

Marilyn gave him a look. "Dita, Tim and I have done nothing but drink and sleep our way around Berlin for the past few months. We have enough experience.”

Landa sat up, doing his shirt buttons up to his lower chest. "I thought you said all the other officers would beat you for 'seducing' them."

"Doesn't mean I can't look at their backsides after they beat me."

Landa shook his head, a small smile playing at his lips. "You really are something, Marilyn... eh, what was your last name?"

"That will remain a mystery. I’m not giving you any more than you need to know after... all that."

"It was a happy ending for the both of us," Landa protested.

"Sure, after a big fucking hassle. I don't even know if it was worth it."

"Remember," Landa growled, "I can still have you arrested if I choose to."

"Right," Marilyn whispered, sauntering over to him to help him do up the rest of his buttons, "While you’re feeling like a big man again, let's not forget who made you moan like the little whore your men think I am ten minutes ago." He kissed Landa's cheek tenderly, grazed his hand down to give the German's clothed cock a pat, and smirked as he walked off to Landa's bar in search of more absinthe.

“Well,” the Colonel sighed, smoothing his hair back to a respectable style, “What is that American expression? You can’t judge a book by its cover.”

Das Haus Des Gold would most likely be his nightclub of choice from now on... but next time, Landa would be sure to attend alone for, perhaps, a more private show.

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script-a-world · 5 years

Text

Submitted via Google Form: Is it possible for a (kinda) isolated civilization to got a industrial revolution? This civilization spread around a whole continent with various resources: grain, wood, minerals, etc. Has different ethnic groups (principally separated by zone: north, center and South). The government it’s like a federal monarchy (I don’t know if that’s really a thing or not), that means that exist a central power but there are principles (is this the English word for the government of a prince? If not I apologise, English it’s not my first language) or provinces (specifically on the North and the South of the continent), that rule and regular their own lands, but answer to the king.

Also, this civilization has a long history, but had not a bronze age crisis (or a similar thing to). I don’t know if that can affect the technological development or not. Although the civilization has its dark ages that after motivated cultural, social and technological changes. They have a cultural capital in the South, where art and science are cultivated. Even there are sapient people of other continents. Reading and writing are beginning to spread around all social classes, but maintains the majority on nobility and sacerdotes.

Also, a civil war would stop or accelerate the industrial process or not?

I apologise for the large of my questions. But I tried to give you the more information I could.

Tex: It is indeed possible for an isolated civilization to have an industrial revolution, though they might follow a different path to it. I will get to explaining some particular nuances of that sort of “revolution” in a bit, but I would like to address some other things in your question first.

Federal monarchies are a thing, albeit rare, and usually constrained to theory because of the difficulty in real-world execution of the idea. Lands governed by a prince are called principalities in English, though sometimes also princedom (following the same -dom rules as kingdom).

The Late Bronze Age collapse - if that is to what you’re referring to? - is a dark age unto itself, and rather the opposite in terms of societal effect to a technological revolution. The causes and timing of a dark age will calculate the breadth and depth of impact to your society; in general, the more momentum a society has in terms of culture, science, and international relations, the more impactful and difficult it is to recuperate from a dark age.

“Reading and writing are beginning to spread around all social classes, but maintains the majority on nobility and sacerdotes.” What is the history behind this? Has the literacy rate risen gradually and steadily, or has it been irregular, marked by various events that would preclude a regularly increasing rate of literacy? If literacy has been restricted to the noble and religious castes, why so? Has your society had a Carolingian Renaissance before its industrial revolution?

The interesting thing about industrial revolutions is that they are built upon previous technological and scientific leaps - Wikipedia’s timeline of historic inventions parses them by era, and hopefully is available in your native language.

One of the main points of the eponymous Industrial Revolution is the shift from hand production to mechanical production. Electricity factored into this only at a later step, so it was not truly necessary to kick-start the first era. There are in fact many industrial revolutions (we are currently in our fourth), and I would like to note that they often coordinate with renaissances, staggered as they are around the world.

A federal monarchy, in this instance, would function as a sort of microcosm for global patterns of dark age → renaissance → technological revolution. You mention that the South is the cultural capital of your society, and seems to house much in terms of institutional knowledge. This area, then, would be the nexus point of your society’s economy. Regardless of any isolationism, centralizing the innovative parts of one’s society makes it especially vulnerable to collapse in the case of, say, a civil war.

The Athenian coup of 411 BC during the end of the Peloponnesian War is a good example of this. While the Athenians briefly enjoyed a restoration of their government (Wikipedia), it was dissolved a short while later (Wikipedia). Athens remained a cultural center, possibly by habit, though it had lost what remnants of bureaucratic authority and autonomy it once had.

If all knowledge of technological innovation is cloistered within one area, and that area is besieged by a war - civil or not, then it will definitely set your society back by however many ages of knowledge lost. Fortunately, many real-word societies were sensible enough to create and distribute copies for the sake of preserving cultural heritage, functioning also as an excellent PR move to laud the benefits of their society for the sake of both conquest and trade.

Provided that neither city (like Roanoke Colony and the Land of Punt) nor continent become lost, some knowledge will always be retained and utilized if necessary. Technological revolutions impart the advantage of freeing up human capital from menial labor that would otherwise take up a person’s time and ability to contribute to society in a meaningful way, which is economically beneficial.

I am not very certain how isolationism would factor into this, but it would seem that maintaining some degree of separation in multi- and international politics would be advantageous in advancing one’s society in the pursuit of knowledge. However, should others find rumors of this advancement, your society may eventually be approached by potential allies or enemies.

If there is a civil war occurring while your society is approached by outside influences, please be aware that these others may take advantage of this instability, especially if there are natural resources compounding the value of your society’s human capital. There is also the issue of relative stratification of different ethnic groups, since you had mentioned it - if the schism is along ethnic lines, then there’s potential for others to ally themselves along those lines, exacerbating the conflict. Either way, there is likely to be moral grounds upon which the conflict is centered, and interference from outside groups has the potential to heighten and polarize tensions.

To quote the play Agamemnon by Aeschylus: “In war, the first casualty is truth.” No war is truly without a morality, which may quickly become propaganda, in order to sway the participating peoples. The importance you ostensibly give the South as a center of culture in the same question of dark ages and civil wars and technological revolutions lends to me the idea that something happens with it in your story. Are its relations with its neighbors healthy, or strained? Why so? Is it - or someone else - pushing for advancement at the expense of cultural mores?

J.R.R. Tolkien’s novels are often accredited the message of anti-industrialism (Wikipedia, Medium, Tolkien Gateway - Oxford section) and the perpetuation of the Merry England ideology. This is something your society might see during cultural upheaval, particularly if it’s caused by innovation that at first seems to run counter to their culture. The arts might take on a facet of this conflict, particularly in literature under the form of social and proletarian literature. Le roman à thèse is a particular subgenre of this literature, one which focuses on persuading the reader to agree with the author’s argument. Factory girl literature maintains similar themes, critiquing industrialization primarily from the perspective of Asian authors utilizing the factory girl archetype.

In terms of literature recommendations, I have two more to offer you: A Dream of Arcadia: Anti-Industrialism in Spanish Literature, 1895–1905 by Lily Litvak (ISBN: 978-0292741300) and

The Lives of Machines: The Industrial Imaginary in Victorian Literature and Culture by Tamara Ketabgian. Both detail the reactions of a culture during and after an industrial revolution, and what type of counter-culture arises from it.

I think it is possible for an isolated society to have an industrial revolution, but it would likely be on a smaller scale than a non-isolated society, and their efforts might more be on rehabilitation of their environment and encouraging a more profound and beneficial relationship with nature, rather than chasing the next generation of shiny objects and possible advancements in warfare.

A federal monarchy may present some unique issues with this setting, because of its comparatively rigid bureaucratic hierarchy and propensity to shatter along federation lines - which is where I think conflict is most likely to lie in this situation - and your society may not regroup under the same parameters. Most likely, all of this would follow a previous industrial revolution, à la the Progressive Era of the US/La Belle Époque of Europe.

Your worldbuilding seems to indicate a circumvention of New Imperialism and jingoistic foreign policy, so unless somebody comes knocking at your society’s door, this industrial revolution and civil war you have mentioned might be very toned down in terms of potential impact. A parallel of the Long Depression is still feasible, and might be a major contributing factor in your society’s civil war.

#pylons #industrial revolution

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